Hello and welcome
to "Working the Dream"
00:00:30.19\00:00:32.73
I'm your host Eric Kelly,
and you've probably noticed
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that I'm not all
knotted up in a shirt and tie
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because it is... drum
roll please, "Casual Friday!"
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Now notice I didn't say,
"grunge Friday or "wrinkled,
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hat, mess Friday or what in the
world do you have on Friday?"
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Casual Friday is simply
a day that many employers
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allow their employees to dress
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down just a notch
prior to the weekend.
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It builds good
feelings about the work place.
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However, they are
still expecting a degree of
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professionalism.
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Sadly, I've talked to
some managers who regret
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allowing the casual Friday
practice to even start at all
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because of how it's turned out.
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Well, what does that
have to do with today's topic?
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Well today, we're going
to share how you can build
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a powerful
personal career brand.
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Your image is the
perception people have of you
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based on observations
and insights over time.
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Simply put, your image
is your personal brand.
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To have a positive
brand, one must have created
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a positive image.
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Now, can you do things to build
your personal brand, your image?
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Absolutely!
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Now if you want to
understand how branding works
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let's take a trip to
your local grocery store.
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Let's say today,
you're going to make a dish
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that requires corn...
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So, you go to the aisle
that has canned vegetables,
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and there before you are
just oodles of choices for corn.
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Now even if you don't
think about it consciously,
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you are going to buy
the can that you feel
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most comfortable with.
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Your comfort level with
what you buy - may be based
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on an advertisement
where you saw a commercial of a
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very happy..."Ho Ho Ho,"
very tall individual extolling
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the virtues of
his brand of corn.
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Now this subconsciously started
to create a positive brand image
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in your mind - maybe
after that, you visited a friend
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and then made a casserole
corn dish and when they
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served it - it was so delicious
that when you complimented
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their cooking skills,
they shared the brand of corn
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that they used.
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Either way, your eyes and
ears registered a brand from the
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commercial, then your eyes and
ears and taste buds registered
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a brand at your friend's
meal and from those senses,
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you will now make a
choice when you are faced
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with the options for corn.
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When it's time for
you to buy an automobile,
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branding also is
a big influencer.
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I've seen some of the
brands that present themselves
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with scenes depicting young,
energetic, fun-loving drivers
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that are all looking for
features and economic value.
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The images are of young
people and they're laughing,
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they're piling into a car
and they're going to go out
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and have a fun-filled
evening... Wow - cool car!
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Now, I've seen some other brands
that depict a more distinguished
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couple driving a luxury
automobile and the verbiage
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that the announcer uses
goes something like this...
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"This is what you drive
when you have finally arrived."
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Arrived at what?
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Some of us who chose
that brand wonder where the
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announcer was when that
first car note notice arrived.
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Either way,
branding influences choices.
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Now the
workplace is no different.
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Your employers have
seen employees come and go,
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and based on their
experiences with people,
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they're looking for an image,
a brand if you will of a person
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that they believe will
help their organization become
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even more successful.
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Your image, your brand
will be built around three
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major things.
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The first is dress
- what do people see
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when they look at you?
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How you dress - what you choose
to wear to work will affect
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how those in authority perceive
your judgment and ability.
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The second area
is - what they hear.
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Your communication
skills - verbal and nonverbal.
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Interestingly
enough, people with strong
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verbal communication skills
are often given credit for an
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above average level
of intelligence which may
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or may not be true.
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Now, don't let
that one get around.
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The third consideration
is how you combine both
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to project a
competent, positive image.
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So image is the following:
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Well let's look at the impact
of dress, communication skill,
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and positive image
projection on the careers of
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Grant and Malik...
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Hey my brother man - I been
calling you all day, Rocco man.
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Where you been, man I'm glad
you finally picked the phone up.
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Hey, check this out -
Saturday night is going to be
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off the chain - I
got that leather jacket,
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that New York hoodie and I'm
sport'n these "AB Ed glasses,"
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here man - I gotta go man,
the hall monitor just walked in.
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Man brother - can't you see
I'm on the phone my brother?
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Man, you know we shouldn't
be on the phone when it's
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when it's not break time.
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You gotta lighten up,
you're always so tight.
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Man, the work is getting
done, and what's the problem?
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Yeah, the work is getting
done, but what happens if the
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boss comes in here
and you're acting up?
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The boss comes down here?
I mean, really? Like really?
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People up - you think the
people upstairs care about us
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down here? I mean G-stacks
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don't know nobody
but the mail and you.
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You look like...
you always down here.
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Look at - by the way,
you walk around with a tie,
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do you think they gonna
come down here and save us?
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How you act, what you dress,
what you wear is important...
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It sets the first impression.
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That's what people see
when they first meet you.
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Yeah aha, you been tellin
me that for the last two years,
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and by the way,
aren't you a Christian man?
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And you still smokin
that success stuff...
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Man, you gotta come to reality,
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This is it, this is the mail
room, mail come in, it go out.
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Everything that go
out, go out in boxes.
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You don't get
it? Don't get what?
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You can get out
of this mailroom.
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G- Stacks could get
out of the mailroom?
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When people come
here, they notice you.
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The people that matter can
come down here and see you,
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and see the potential - and then
you get out of the mailroom.
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Now I gotta agree, I
do have some potential,
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but nobody down here to see it,
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but you and you
ain't doin nothin for me.
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Have you seen Mr.
Martin's mail? Mr. Who?
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The CEO of the
company, Mr. Martin.
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Mr. Martin? Oh Mr. Martin...Ohh
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Hey Mr. Martin! How are you?
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It's nice to meet you sir,
I was just getting ready to
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bring this upstairs to you.
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Oh wow, thank you so very
much, but that's not necessary.
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My secretary is out
today so I decided to make the
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trek down here myself
because this is a very important
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piece of mail for me.
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Are you sure, sir,
it's not a problem,
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I can still bring it up for you.
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No, no, no,
that's quite all right,
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but I do
appreciate the initiative.
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By the way, what's your name?
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Malik, sir, Malik Preston.
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Malik Preston, I'll remember
that name, not a difficult name.
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I think I'll hold on
to it. Thank you sir.
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Mr. Anderson!
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Oh, you must be the Mr. Martin
everybody is talking about.
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Boy, I... man,
good to see you again.
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It's been a long
time, like what 2 years now
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since I've seen you.
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Now you must be making some
money - look at how you dress,
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look at how I dress
man, but that's okay,
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this is G-Stacks' outfit.
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Haystacks? No, G-Stacks.
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So what's up, my brother?
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Well I wanted to just know how
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you're doing down
here in the mailroom?
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It's the mailroom, "m-a-i-l"
that's all I get down here.
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It comes in, it goes
out, that's all I need to do.
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The sun done come
up, the sun go down,
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I come in, I go
home... as long as my
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check show up, I'm cool.
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You do understand
that you don't have
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to remain in the mailroom.
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Well you tryin to tell me
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there's some
other place I can go?
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Yeah, there's always
opportunity for improvement.
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We are always looking for
the best and the brightest
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minds in this company.
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We want to improve and promote
our people in this company.
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I believed that 2 years ago,
but I'm still stuck down here,
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so what else do I need
to do to get outta here?
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Well, it depends upon your
deportment, your demeanor...
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the way you
dress, the way you talk,
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the way you act - all of
that factors into the promotions
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that we do in this company.
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In a big word, "deportment,"
see, I aim my vocabulary,
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just say, "clothin."
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But, so what should I
do then to get out of here
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because I'm kinda getting tired
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of just looking at
walls, there ain't no windows
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down here either -
you know what I'm sayin?
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Yeah, if you do your
best, we'll see your best,
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and that's how we promote.
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So you tryin to tell me
that there's hope for G-Stacks?
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I mean, I could make it...
I could go upstairs and see
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other people?
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There's hope for everybody.
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Hmm - Okay I'll
try to do my best.
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I mean, if you tellin
me it's workin for you
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so must be some truth to
it, so, you know, I'll try to
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apply myself - I appreciate
the words, Mr. Martin.
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Peace out. Appreciate that.
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Malik, appreciate the
initiative. Thank you sir.
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Appreciate your work. Thank you.
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By the way, I like
that tie. Thank you
00:09:17.99\00:09:20.26
So he the man,
huh? He's the man!
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Hey brother - call
that number after 5 p.m.
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Hmm, mmm, my - "Your path
to great success starts here."
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"55-prophet" - I'm
gonna try cause, I mean, look
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at how you dress and
look at how he dresses.
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There got to be somethin
other than this for G-Stacks.
00:09:40.11\00:09:42.44
Yeah, I'll make
the call, maybe I got a
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brighter future, who knows?
00:09:45.15\00:09:53.12
Well Grant hopefully has learned
what Malik already knows...
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That is.. whether we like it
or not, whether we think it's
00:09:58.59\00:10:03.97
fair or not, people judge
you on how you present yourself
00:10:04.00\00:10:08.54
each day.
00:10:08.57\00:10:10.11
Having worked with
senior executives and CEOs,
00:10:10.14\00:10:13.54
as they review those that
they deem upwardly mobile,
00:10:13.58\00:10:17.25
I can assure you that
senior managers do talk about
00:10:17.28\00:10:21.78
how you present yourself.
00:10:21.82\00:10:24.02
Now, let's look at the
first most obvious thing that
00:10:24.05\00:10:28.09
people notice about you and
that is the way that you dress.
00:10:28.12\00:10:31.79
Okay, some of you are
saying, "Look, I have a right
00:10:31.83\00:10:35.00
to exercise my
personal taste in how I dress."
00:10:35.03\00:10:38.97
My response to that statement
is, "You most certainly do,"
00:10:39.00\00:10:45.31
and your up line supervisors
and managers have a right
00:10:45.34\00:10:48.81
to judge you on how you
look when you are working
00:10:48.84\00:10:51.91
at their company.
00:10:51.95\00:10:54.58
You see, how you dress at home
or when you're away from work
00:10:54.62\00:10:57.65
is absolutely no one
else's business but yours.
00:10:57.69\00:11:01.46
However, when you are in
the workplace of a company
00:11:01.49\00:11:04.89
that you do not
own, it can create
00:11:04.93\00:11:08.13
an unwanted distraction.
00:11:08.16\00:11:09.83
The reason that this topic
is such a controversial one is
00:11:09.86\00:11:14.40
because the way we dress,
our taste and our sense of style
00:11:14.44\00:11:17.97
it's incredibly personal.
00:11:18.01\00:11:20.41
In fact, it so personal
that some people believe
00:11:20.44\00:11:23.24
it is an extension of
who they actually are.
00:11:23.28\00:11:26.38
Here are two questions to
ask yourself before selecting
00:11:26.41\00:11:29.92
a work outfit...
00:11:29.95\00:11:31.35
Is this outfit one
that the culture at my job
00:11:31.39\00:11:34.56
will embrace or reject?
00:11:34.59\00:11:36.46
Does this outfit help or
hurt my chances of success
00:11:36.49\00:11:40.56
here at work?
00:11:40.60\00:11:41.93
If you really want to
understand the culture of dress
00:11:41.96\00:11:45.27
that is
acceptable at your company,
00:11:45.30\00:11:47.44
observe how the
senior team dresses.
00:11:47.47\00:11:50.84
What seems to be the
acceptable norm for them?
00:11:50.87\00:11:53.68
Now some basic tips that
might seem like common sense
00:11:53.71\00:11:58.15
for those who are
enlightened, might be due for
00:11:58.18\00:12:00.72
reinforcement on this topic.
00:12:00.75\00:12:02.42
Unless you are in the
high fashion industry,
00:12:02.45\00:12:06.45
you can rarely go wrong opting
for a more conservative look.
00:12:06.49\00:12:10.86
The more conservative
style, the better - your blues,
00:12:10.89\00:12:13.36
your grays,
solid or pin-stripes.
00:12:13.40\00:12:15.40
Women - you may
include more colors.
00:12:15.43\00:12:17.93
Now someone might be saying...
00:12:17.97\00:12:19.57
If I'm too conservative,
nobody will notice me.
00:12:19.60\00:12:23.20
Well, you want to be
noticed for how you work,
00:12:23.24\00:12:26.81
not necessarily on how flashy
and fashion-forward you dress.
00:12:26.84\00:12:32.31
I have hundreds of stories where
dress was the deciding factor
00:12:32.35\00:12:36.79
AGAINST someone's advancement.
00:12:36.82\00:12:39.79
The senior team consistently
saw poor taste in dress
00:12:39.82\00:12:44.13
as poor judgment,
and a more conservative
00:12:44.16\00:12:47.16
dresser with maybe even
the same skill got the nod.
00:12:47.20\00:12:51.10
Wear outfits that communicate
"I am a business leader."
00:12:51.13\00:12:56.20
Party clothes SCREAM
party person and provocative
00:12:56.24\00:13:01.38
is not good.
00:13:01.41\00:13:04.35
So when should I
change my outfit, you ask?
00:13:04.38\00:13:07.28
Well, if you work for an
accounting firm - when you're
00:13:07.32\00:13:12.09
wearing any of the outfits
on Hollywood dancing stars,
00:13:12.12\00:13:16.96
you probably should change.
00:13:16.99\00:13:19.29
If your boss and their
boss stops by your office,
00:13:19.33\00:13:22.90
and at the end of
the conversation they say
00:13:22.93\00:13:25.40
something like,
"WOW, we didn't even know
00:13:25.43\00:13:28.20
those colors went together..."
you should probably change.
00:13:28.24\00:13:32.71
If you were going up to work
in an elevator and people are
00:13:32.74\00:13:35.58
asking you, Where is the party?
You should probably change.
00:13:35.61\00:13:40.25
Bottom line - if you look
in the mirror and you're saying
00:13:40.28\00:13:43.75
to yourself, "Maybe
I shouldn't wear this?"
00:13:43.79\00:13:47.09
You should definitely change.
00:13:47.12\00:13:49.22
Basic rules... No lumps
or bumps in your clothes.
00:13:49.26\00:13:52.06
Whether you are buff
to the max or you need to
00:13:53.09\00:13:55.76
spend more time in the
gym, wear clothes that do not
00:13:55.80\00:13:59.13
accentuate anything that
could be distracting away from
00:13:59.17\00:14:03.54
your excellence as a worker.
00:14:03.57\00:14:05.67
Be careful with skin...
whether it's a miniskirt
00:14:05.71\00:14:08.24
or a golf shirt that
shows off your 20 inch arm
00:14:08.28\00:14:11.65
or visible tattoos - if it
causes workplace discussion
00:14:11.68\00:14:15.82
that are not about your
abilities, it's a distraction
00:14:15.85\00:14:19.15
that you do not want.
00:14:19.19\00:14:20.62
Now, here's a
special word of caution...
00:14:20.66\00:14:23.83
"Casual Friday" should
not be "dirt bag Friday."
00:14:23.86\00:14:28.06
I'm going into downtown
office buildings all over the
00:14:28.10\00:14:30.60
country, filled with
highly skilled professionals
00:14:30.63\00:14:34.04
and I've gone in on
Friday wondering if I
00:14:34.07\00:14:36.00
stumbled into a
beach party movie.
00:14:36.04\00:14:38.17
They wore flip-flops,
they wore jeans that were
00:14:38.21\00:14:40.44
torn and cut, and tank tops
and assorted picnic outfits.
00:14:40.48\00:14:44.95
I'm not sure if any of
these people thought about how
00:14:44.98\00:14:47.88
they were being
viewed by their leaders.
00:14:47.92\00:14:50.99
Casual Friday -
dress down, but not out.
00:14:51.02\00:14:55.36
Now, let's talk about the
impact of communication skills.
00:14:55.39\00:14:59.89
Do you sound
knowledgeable and intelligent?
00:14:59.93\00:15:02.70
Whether we like it or
not, we're judged not only
00:15:02.73\00:15:05.33
on how we look,
but how we sound.
00:15:05.37\00:15:07.40
It helps people find a comfort
zone when dealing with us.
00:15:07.44\00:15:11.34
Imagine yourself lost...
and so you're turned around
00:15:11.37\00:15:15.84
and you knew you had
to ask for directions,
00:15:15.88\00:15:18.45
so you pull into a service
station and there's a gentleman
00:15:18.48\00:15:21.32
standing outside - when
you pull up next to him,
00:15:21.35\00:15:24.09
you roll down your window
and before you can say anything,
00:15:24.12\00:15:27.36
he smiles and says,
"Hello there, can I help you?"
00:15:27.39\00:15:30.73
Psychologically, the smile
and the friendly manner put you
00:15:30.76\00:15:35.03
a little more at
ease, even though you still
00:15:35.06\00:15:37.97
don't have your directions yet.
00:15:38.00\00:15:39.63
He continues to explain,
pleasantly, that you missed
00:15:39.67\00:15:42.87
your turn about 2 miles back.
00:15:42.90\00:15:45.14
Now, did the way he
sounded have any effect on you?
00:15:45.17\00:15:48.38
Well of course it did.
00:15:48.41\00:15:49.74
His accent, if he had one,
was not particularly an issue
00:15:49.78\00:15:53.82
as long as you
could understand him.
00:15:53.85\00:15:56.22
What you wanted to know
was... could he help you.
00:15:56.25\00:15:59.72
So as you listened to him,
you were trying to determine
00:15:59.75\00:16:02.59
if he was knowledgeable and
when you were convinced that
00:16:02.62\00:16:05.96
he was correct
in his instructions,
00:16:05.99\00:16:08.23
you experienced relief and
you set about following them;
00:16:08.26\00:16:12.23
however, you first had to
decide if you believed he knew
00:16:12.27\00:16:17.01
what he was talking
about in the first place.
00:16:17.04\00:16:20.01
So what do you sound like?
00:16:20.04\00:16:21.94
Are you articulate, or
do you sound well-read?
00:16:21.98\00:16:25.01
Are you clearly understood.
Do you sound educated?
00:16:25.05\00:16:28.85
Whether we like it or
not, we are being judged
00:16:28.88\00:16:31.49
from the instant we
show up until we leave,
00:16:31.52\00:16:34.76
but that's
heightened at the point where we
00:16:34.79\00:16:37.13
begin to speak.
00:16:37.16\00:16:38.86
Now you might ask, why is this
important to me in my career?
00:16:38.89\00:16:41.90
Well, look at it this way...
00:16:41.93\00:16:43.67
It's hard to be good at your
job if you're not articulate,
00:16:43.70\00:16:47.10
if you can't persuade or if
you're not easily understood.
00:16:47.14\00:16:51.51
There are so many times at
your job where the conversation
00:16:51.54\00:16:54.34
will be one-on-one,
but also one-to-many,
00:16:54.38\00:16:57.95
and to have a vibrant career,
you will need to be effective
00:16:57.98\00:17:01.58
in communicating
in both situations.
00:17:01.62\00:17:04.15
If you're in a meeting,
when you're finished talking,
00:17:04.19\00:17:06.92
people need to know and
understand what you said.
00:17:06.96\00:17:10.36
If you want them to
actually take some action
00:17:10.39\00:17:12.39
and do something
with your information,
00:17:12.43\00:17:14.46
you will also
need to be persuasive.
00:17:14.50\00:17:17.23
Now whether there is a
true correlation or not,
00:17:17.27\00:17:21.27
there is definitely a
belief that high achievers
00:17:21.30\00:17:24.14
will be able to speak well.
00:17:24.17\00:17:26.44
Sometimes you'll hear the word
"smart," describing a person...
00:17:26.47\00:17:29.68
It is simply the speaker's
way of describing someone they
00:17:29.71\00:17:32.91
feel is
intelligent and articulate.
00:17:32.95\00:17:35.75
Bottom line - At your
job, do you sound like
00:17:35.78\00:17:39.19
you know what
you're talking about?
00:17:39.22\00:17:40.59
I want to make an additional
point about why selling
00:17:42.69\00:17:45.53
speeches and
persuasive speech are important
00:17:45.56\00:17:48.53
to your career.
00:17:48.56\00:17:49.90
Persuasive
speech enrolls coworkers
00:17:49.93\00:17:52.40
and helps to sell ideas.
00:17:52.43\00:17:55.24
Now some of your work
life will be spent in trying to
00:17:55.27\00:17:58.21
convince others of how
your ideas can help your
00:17:58.24\00:18:01.74
team achieve success.
00:18:01.78\00:18:03.78
This is when you need
to be the most persuasive.
00:18:03.81\00:18:07.02
You need to be able to
sell an idea and the benefits
00:18:07.05\00:18:10.02
that it will have for the
people that you're speaking to.
00:18:10.05\00:18:13.69
Let's say that you found a way
to fix a company-wide problem...
00:18:13.72\00:18:16.96
If they follow your
advice, not only can you fix the
00:18:16.99\00:18:20.23
problem area being addressed,
but you'll also be able to
00:18:20.26\00:18:23.37
save your company several
hundred thousands of dollars.
00:18:23.40\00:18:27.64
Now it's great that
you've come up with this plan,
00:18:27.67\00:18:30.21
in fact; if they
implement it, you might actually
00:18:30.24\00:18:33.41
become a hero.
00:18:33.44\00:18:34.78
However, before you'll be
able to bask in the glow of
00:18:34.81\00:18:38.01
your genius, you will
have to tell somebody...
00:18:38.05\00:18:41.02
No, you will have to
sell somebody on your idea...
00:18:41.05\00:18:44.75
starting with your boss and
then their boss, and their boss,
00:18:44.79\00:18:48.92
and so on, and so on.
00:18:48.96\00:18:50.86
Great leaders are known for
their ability to sell ideas.
00:18:50.89\00:18:55.26
Now here's an
incredibly intriguing fact...
00:18:55.30\00:18:59.03
Often good communicators are
given credit for intelligence...
00:18:59.07\00:19:03.84
notice I did not say, "talkers,"
I said "communicators"
00:19:03.87\00:19:08.48
to give them credit for
an intelligence that they
00:19:08.51\00:19:11.25
may not have - from
getting team members to take a
00:19:11.28\00:19:14.72
particular course of
action, to asking for a raise,
00:19:14.75\00:19:18.32
your ability to sell your
ideas will be critical to your
00:19:18.35\00:19:21.99
career success.
00:19:22.02\00:19:23.36
Now let's take a look at
how nonverbal communication
00:19:23.39\00:19:27.26
affects your image...
00:19:27.30\00:19:28.66
Nonverbal
communication accompanies verbal
00:19:28.70\00:19:31.60
communication and it either
supports it or invalidates it.
00:19:31.63\00:19:36.77
Let's look at
facial expressions...
00:19:36.81\00:19:38.81
They really share our moods,
what we're really thinking,
00:19:38.84\00:19:41.58
what's really going on.
00:19:41.61\00:19:43.11
Years ago, there was a
television series about a
00:19:43.14\00:19:46.21
starship that traveled
throughout the universe,
00:19:46.25\00:19:49.45
and they had a science
officer who had pointy ears,
00:19:49.48\00:19:53.82
and he was always calm.
00:19:53.86\00:19:56.99
So there they would be fighting
the space storm or into a
00:19:57.03\00:20:01.56
really dangerous situation
and just before they would
00:20:01.60\00:20:04.80
crash, they would look at
the science officer and with no
00:20:04.83\00:20:08.40
emotion, he would simply say,
"Yes Captain, we're about to
00:20:08.44\00:20:11.47
crash in 3.2 seconds, in
2.1 seconds, always calm,
00:20:11.51\00:20:16.08
and we loved him.
00:20:16.11\00:20:17.65
And the reason was...
his facial expression always
00:20:17.68\00:20:22.25
shared with us a
message of control, of calm.
00:20:22.28\00:20:26.22
In fact, as a
leader, we looked up to him.
00:20:26.25\00:20:29.46
Now if your words and
your facial expressions don't
00:20:29.49\00:20:32.93
match, people will believe
your facial expression first.
00:20:32.96\00:20:37.90
Here's an example...
00:20:37.93\00:20:39.27
You come in in the
morning and you're really not
00:20:39.30\00:20:42.94
feeling all that great,
so one of your coworkers,
00:20:42.97\00:20:46.11
always the perky one, comes
up and says, "Oh, how are you
00:20:46.14\00:20:48.74
today?"
00:20:48.78\00:20:50.11
And you look at
them and say, "Fine."
00:20:50.15\00:20:52.98
Now, your facial
expression said, "Horrible day."
00:20:53.01\00:20:57.29
Your words were
"fine," which was believed?
00:20:57.32\00:21:01.56
Trust me - it wasn't your words
because your facial expression,
00:21:01.59\00:21:06.49
your nonverbal is seen as being
more honest than your verbal.
00:21:06.53\00:21:12.40
Now, speech volume also
communicates nonverbally.
00:21:12.43\00:21:17.81
I really don't understand
this, but if someone speaks
00:21:17.84\00:21:20.98
in a language that
we don't understand,
00:21:21.01\00:21:23.88
we tend to become louder.
00:21:23.91\00:21:26.48
"GOOD MORNING, HOW ARE
YOU?" They're not deaf,
00:21:26.51\00:21:30.25
they just don't
speak your language.
00:21:30.29\00:21:33.15
And, if you look at volume,
yelling in the communications
00:21:33.19\00:21:37.43
transaction, usually denotes
some intensity of feeling.
00:21:37.46\00:21:42.23
Now, speaking before a
group requires a confident voice
00:21:42.26\00:21:46.97
in order to be believed...
so there's going to be more
00:21:47.00\00:21:49.60
volume - there's going
to be more projection there,
00:21:49.64\00:21:52.67
but yelling, hmm, not so much.
00:21:52.71\00:21:55.21
Now vocal inflection,
pauses, also send a message.
00:21:55.24\00:22:01.25
I've seen people send messages
with just a sheer pause.
00:22:01.28\00:22:05.09
Here's how it works...
00:22:05.12\00:22:06.45
"Well what do you
think about Bob's work?"
00:22:06.49\00:22:09.79
Here's the response...
(Head down, nonverbal)
00:22:09.82\00:22:13.40
Now, there was absolutely
no quote that could be used;
00:22:13.43\00:22:17.87
however, I
believe I sent a message.
00:22:17.90\00:22:21.07
Back in college, I
had a roommate who said,
00:22:21.10\00:22:24.94
"You Americans put the
emPHAsis on the wrong sylLAble."
00:22:24.97\00:22:28.78
And I thought about
this as we would chat because
00:22:28.81\00:22:32.25
what he was really saying
was that the way we emphasize
00:22:32.28\00:22:35.42
words, made a
difference in their meanings.
00:22:35.45\00:22:37.99
Now I'm going to give
you a phrase and I'm going to
00:22:38.02\00:22:40.42
show you how I can emphasize
different words and create
00:22:40.46\00:22:45.69
totally different meanings...
00:22:45.73\00:22:48.43
For this example,
let's use the phrase,
00:22:48.46\00:22:51.07
"I did not say,
"he ate the cookie."
00:22:51.10\00:22:54.80
And we're going to change
the emphasis on different words
00:22:54.84\00:22:58.84
and look how
the meaning changes.
00:22:58.87\00:23:01.88
So, let's put the
emphasis on the first word...
00:23:01.91\00:23:05.15
"I did not say,
"he ate the cookie."
00:23:05.18\00:23:09.78
Well, that meaning could mean,
you didn't say it; however,
00:23:09.82\00:23:14.76
did someone else
say - he ate the cookie?
00:23:14.79\00:23:17.29
Let's put the
emphasis on the word "say."
00:23:17.33\00:23:21.66
"I did not SAY -
he ate the cookie."
00:23:21.70\00:23:25.37
Could that mean you wrote
down that he ate the cookie?
00:23:25.40\00:23:29.54
"I did not say -
he ATE the cookie."
00:23:29.57\00:23:33.74
With the emphasis
being on the word "ate,"
00:23:33.78\00:23:36.31
hmm, did he just take the
cookie and hide it somewhere?
00:23:36.34\00:23:42.72
"I did not say -
he ate the COOKIE."
00:23:42.75\00:23:45.85
Well maybe he
didn't eat the cookie,
00:23:45.89\00:23:48.52
but did he eat all the
candy that was in the bowl?
00:23:48.56\00:23:52.36
Simply by changing
the emphasis on words,
00:23:52.39\00:23:55.83
we can change their meaning.
00:23:55.86\00:23:58.20
We should be well aware of
that when we are communicating
00:23:58.23\00:24:00.80
with someone and when
our intent is to make sure
00:24:00.84\00:24:03.97
that our point is well taken.
00:24:04.01\00:24:06.81
Now let's look at the area
of gestures and how nonverbally
00:24:06.84\00:24:12.05
they help us communicate.
00:24:12.08\00:24:14.02
"Hands," for instance,
they often create context.
00:24:14.05\00:24:17.15
They illustrate small, LARGE.
00:24:17.19\00:24:22.36
Have you seen this one? "Cold"
00:24:22.39\00:24:25.93
"Warm"
00:24:25.96\00:24:28.46
Simply by using our hands,
we can add an exclamation point
00:24:28.50\00:24:32.27
almost to any subject
that we're talking about.
00:24:32.30\00:24:35.57
"Posture" also
communicates nonverbally.
00:24:35.60\00:24:39.71
Years ago, I was speaking
at a university and I went to
00:24:39.74\00:24:43.28
several classes to
share with them tips on how to
00:24:43.31\00:24:46.51
get jobs, how to keep jobs,
and I started at the freshman
00:24:46.55\00:24:50.22
class and they were slumped
over and they were kind of
00:24:50.25\00:24:53.82
laying on the desk
and "Ehh, whatever."
00:24:53.86\00:24:57.43
And went to a
sophomore class and spoken,
00:24:57.46\00:25:00.06
they were just a
little bit more interested,
00:25:00.10\00:25:01.96
and I could tell
by their posture.
00:25:02.00\00:25:03.60
By the time I got
to the junior class,
00:25:03.63\00:25:05.93
I had a little more of
their attention and they kind of
00:25:05.97\00:25:08.37
their attention and they
kind of sat up and by the time
00:25:08.40\00:25:09.90
I got to the seniors, who
were leaving the university
00:25:09.94\00:25:13.27
and about to go
into the job market,
00:25:13.31\00:25:15.24
I had their full attention.
00:25:15.28\00:25:16.98
How did I know?
By their posture.
00:25:17.01\00:25:19.75
They were attentive, they were
very interested and focused.
00:25:19.78\00:25:22.92
So posture will tell
someone whether or not you're
00:25:23.85\00:25:27.79
listening or you're focused
on what they're talking about.
00:25:27.82\00:25:30.46
At work, you want to
project that you are on point
00:25:30.49\00:25:33.96
and focused, so you want your
posture to have that aggressive
00:25:34.00\00:25:37.60
business look about it.
00:25:37.63\00:25:39.37
So here are some tips for
projecting a positive image...
00:25:39.40\00:25:43.17
Dress each day for a
meeting with the president
00:25:43.20\00:25:47.14
or the leader of
your organization.
00:25:47.18\00:25:49.11
If you met them in the
hallway, would you feel good
00:25:49.14\00:25:52.35
about what your wearing?
00:25:52.38\00:25:54.18
Speak clearly and confidently
to whoever you're speaking with,
00:25:54.22\00:26:00.06
whether it be the
boss, a peer or someone that
00:26:00.09\00:26:02.72
reports to you.
00:26:02.76\00:26:04.09
SMILE, look the
person directly in the eye.
00:26:04.13\00:26:06.73
Always give a firm handshake,
00:26:06.76\00:26:09.13
and be an
enthusiastic team player.
00:26:09.16\00:26:12.23
With your nonverbal, let people
know that you're committed
00:26:12.27\00:26:15.37
to being there
and doing a good job.
00:26:15.40\00:26:18.11
And...
00:26:18.14\00:26:21.84
Now this outfit is the bomb!
00:27:03.69\00:27:06.25
Wear it and watch
your life be blessed.
00:27:06.29\00:27:10.69
Until next time,
keep "Working the Dream"
00:27:10.73\00:27:15.10