Welcome again to
"Wonderfully Made"
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We have Dr. Neil
Nedley with us again,
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and Dr. Nedley is not only
an internal medicine physician
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with his own private practice,
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he is the husband
of a beautiful wife,
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and he has 4 boys...
Right? That's right! Wow
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What spurred you on,
Dr. Nedley, to take your
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expertise and knowledge into the
public health education field?
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Well actually it
started at a rather young age
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before I became a physician.
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When my father was
having some health problems,
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and he changed his diet,
and his lifestyle significantly,
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and I ended up
with a new father! Hmmm
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He was
energetic. He was healthy.
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I could see a dramatic
difference in his life...
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And so I knew there was a
lot to nutrition and lifestyle
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and health, because
I experienced it in my
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own father's case...
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And, of course, he
would talk about it as well
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and he would teach
us about what he did,
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and how things changed.
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And so when I was
going through medical school,
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and going through my training,
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I always had that
emphasis there because
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of the personal experience...
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And then, I would try
to relay that to others,
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and my patients would take
hold of it... many of them,
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and have dramatic improvements
in their life as well.
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And so some of the most
gratifying things I've done
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as a physician, is
to help people recognize
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there's a
better way of living...
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And to also help
them to make and STAY with
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those positive
lifestyle choices.
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A lot of times, people
THINK they know a better way,
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but they're not
able to accomplish it,
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or put it into their life.
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And so, my emphasis has
not only been just information,
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but also how to apply
that information in a very
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winsome way that will
help them live a better life,
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and not be having to grieve
over the process of change.
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That's wonderful... So
you enjoy being a teacher
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that motivates. Yes, I do!
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Today's subject is going
to be about addictions...
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And believe it or not,
even addictions are learned,
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and they can be unlearned...
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And Dr. Nedley is going to
share with us some of the ways
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we can unlearn
our addictions. Yes!
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Addictions are a false way
of altering the way you feel.
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Whether it's
alcohol, whether it's tobacco,
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whether it's
pornography, internet addiction,
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the common characteristic
of that addiction is...
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it's a false way of
altering the way they feel.
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First, people do it to get high.
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And then, over
the course of time,
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they're no longer
getting much of a high off of it
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and so then they do
it to get numb. Hmmm
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And to really numb their pain,
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because the withdrawal
periods are associated with
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significant pain.
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And so, that is really
the setup for addictions.
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And there are other
common characteristics of
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these addictions...
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such as a need for
increased amounts over time.
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Characteristic of
getting a tendency to relapse
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if you're off of it for a
while, and you do overcome...
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there's a strong tendency to
relapse back into it again...
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And then, of course, it affects
the patient in a detrimental way
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or the person in
a detrimental way...
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Or it may not affect THEM
so detrimentally as the society
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around them, and how
that addiction is affecting
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the society in regards to
their relationships and how
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they're relating
with people, etc.
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So a young kid, maybe
just wanting to experiment with
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a cigarette...
smells bad, tastes bad
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You know, initially,
you have all that negative
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that you experience with it...
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But it gives you that HIGH!
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You're like... "WOW, it
made me feel good. " Right
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And so then your brain
remembers that... That's right
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And so you start using
it more, but you're saying
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that not only that same
amount doesn't give you the
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same amount of feeling...
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You have to use,
more and more and more.
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Over the course of time, there
is usually need for increased
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amounts, and that's why
a lot of people just don't
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stop at one cigarette a day.
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It's very rare to find a person
who's just smoking one a day.
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They have to do it
multiple times a day,
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and some go so far as
smoking 3 packs a day.
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That's expensive.
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And some will even wake
up in the middle of the night
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and have a cigarette. Hmm
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That's how addictive it can be.
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There is, of course,
new addictions as well...
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You know, the tobacco addiction
has been around for a long time.
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Right... you
mentioned internet addiction.
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Yeah, internet addiction.
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In fact, there are
some society changes that
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tend to occur with
internet addiction.
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People will spend
less time with their family
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and with their spouses.
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They'll find excuses sometimes
to be alone with the internet.
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Often their sleeping
patterns will change...
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They'll tend to stay up later
at night with the internet.
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And, it's actually now qualified
in the psychiatric bible as
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as a bona fide addiction...
the internet addiction.
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And often these people spend
time not only with entertainment
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on the internet, or
game-playing but also chat rooms
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People who spend significant
amount of time in chat rooms
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often are highly
addicted to the internet.
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So what classifies, or defines
something as an addiction?
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Obviously, it's
not just a substance
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if we can get it
through an internet.
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Yes, that's right...
it's not just a substance.
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There are several
different classifications
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Basically, the 6 common
characteristics of addictions
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that I've mentioned...
if have 3 or 4 of them,
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it qualifies.
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So if there's a need
for increased amounts,
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or if you've
experienced withdrawal,
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that would be 2
of them right there.
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The false way of
altering the way you feel...
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Of course, that would yet
be another one, the detrimental
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effect on that
person, or on their society
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would yet be another one.
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And so,
basically, we count them up,
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and if there's at
least 3 out of those 6,
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then that would
qualify for an addiction.
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So when you feel
compelled to drink,
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or to go to the internet,
or to have another cigarette,
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you can pretty
much know that you're on
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danger ground... Exactly,
yep, you're pretty much there.
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You're probably on
danger ground even before
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you get to that
point. That's right.
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You're on danger ground
probably long before that point.
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So, tell me a little bit
about the stages that people
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go through in relation
to wanting to change...
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Well, there are
4 stages of change.
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This is in a positive sense,
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so once they realize that
they're addicted to something
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and they realize
that addiction is bad,
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then there's usually
some motivation to change.
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So what they will be first,
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stage 1 is
consciously incompetent...
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I should say
UNCONSCIOUSLY incompetent
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In other words, they don't
know that they're doing bad...
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And they don't
know it's bad for them.
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A common addiction that's
associated with that is caffeine
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There's a lot of people
that have a caffeine addiction
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but actually don't know
that caffeine is harmful
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for that individual.
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And so, they will
often not learn about that
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until later on in
life, and then at that point,
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they will have some
motivation to go to stage 2
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Stage 2 is when you become
consciously incompetent. Okay
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And that means, you haven't
changed your lifestyle yet
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but you are seriously thinking
about changing your lifestyle
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and you NOW know
at least it's bad.
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You're aware that this habit is
self-destructive... That's right
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Information is very
useful in that regard...
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In fact, information is
what good, solid, truthful
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information is
what's going to change you
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from stage 1 to stage 2
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And the Bible
even mentioned that...
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God said... My people are
destroyed for lack of knowledge
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And so good, solid
knowledge is very important
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and it's not THE most
important part of change,
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but you HAVE to HAVE
that in order to change.
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I think a lot of humanity
are unwilling to FACE...
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"Hey, I have a problem
with alcohol"... That's right
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"Wanting it every single
day after I get home from work
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and I'm not a bum. "
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"I'm not on skid row
living in a cardboard box. "
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"I don't have a problem" Right
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But maybe becoming
AWARE that there is a problem
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and being willing to admit it
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is part of moving on to
that second step... Absolutely
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And also recognizing that even
moderate alcohol consumption
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is harmful...
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You know, one drink every 15
days in a woman will increase
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the risk of breast cancer by 60%
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Just moderate drinking increases
the risk of colon cancer.
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And moderate drinking also
increases the risk of accidents
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and in decision-making ability.
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And so, once people
recognize even the problems with
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so-called moderate drinking,
and they're informed about that
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...that's when
they're going to say,
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"Well, you know, maybe I
should consider changing this,
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and going to stage 3"
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So first they become
consciously incompetent...
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In other words, they
still haven't changed,
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but at least they're conscious
that it's not the best.
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...And then they move
to consciously competent
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And that's
complex... and it sounds simple
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but in most people,
it's a complex change
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Because it's not something
that's natural for them
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because they have
habits that are ingrained.
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Plus, I have a friend who,
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she drinks because
she's so stressed out.
00:10:01.58\00:10:03.73
She does come home from work,
00:10:03.77\00:10:05.32
and the first thing
she turns to is the alcohol
00:10:05.36\00:10:08.53
because she has no
other way of knowing
00:10:08.56\00:10:10.39
how to deal with her stress,
00:10:10.42\00:10:11.72
and this
apparently seems to work.
00:10:11.75\00:10:13.42
Yeah, and you know,
it's a false way of altering
00:10:13.45\00:10:15.69
the way she feels, so
she FEELS less stressed out
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...she's NOT
REALLY less stressed out.
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The way of being less stressed
out would be to alter her
00:10:21.47\00:10:24.19
thoughts and line them
up with what's accurate
00:10:24.22\00:10:28.66
or to change some
things in her life... utilizing
00:10:28.67\00:10:31.92
those thoughts to
positively progress... Um hm
00:10:31.95\00:10:34.74
And those would be
far superior than just
00:10:34.77\00:10:37.41
taking a substance
to now all of a sudden
00:10:37.44\00:10:39.77
say that "I feel less stressed"
00:10:39.80\00:10:42.43
because that's not going to
help in the long run at all...
00:10:42.46\00:10:45.27
And even in the short
run, it appears to be helping,
00:10:45.30\00:10:47.68
but it's not REALLY.
00:10:47.71\00:10:48.82
IN fact, it's preventing
them from getting to the real
00:10:48.85\00:10:52.41
steps of coping.
00:10:52.42\00:10:53.91
Yeah, one thing I
found VERY interesting,
00:10:53.94\00:10:56.05
was that while, for
example, alcohol may initially
00:10:56.06\00:10:59.42
raise your serotonin levels,
and give you that sense of calm
00:10:59.43\00:11:02.69
and maybe lower
stress, and pleasure,
00:11:02.72\00:11:04.98
that actually, in the long run,
00:11:05.01\00:11:06.87
alcohol is defeating your
very object of experiencing
00:11:06.90\00:11:10.77
less stress and experiencing
more pleasure by actually
00:11:10.80\00:11:14.68
destroying and lowering those
serotonin levels in the long run
00:11:14.69\00:11:17.91
That's right. Yeah, it
can deplete serotonin levels
00:11:17.94\00:11:21.10
and it's one of the
addiction hits that we call
00:11:21.13\00:11:25.98
that can lead to depression. Hmm
00:11:26.01\00:11:27.86
And so, it IS
something that society needs be
00:11:27.89\00:11:31.77
more aware of
and getting rid of...
00:11:31.81\00:11:33.40
But alcohol is not the
only way, I mean many...
00:11:33.43\00:11:38.16
there are some that
are probably more commonly
00:11:38.19\00:11:42.08
accepted in society that
can be maybe not AS harmful,
00:11:42.11\00:11:46.79
but still harmful.
00:11:46.82\00:11:47.89
In women... chocolate addiction
tends to be quite common.
00:11:47.92\00:11:52.14
Oh I know. I used to have it.
00:11:52.15\00:11:53.55
I'm an ex-chocoholic...
Is that right? YEP!
00:11:53.56\00:11:55.90
All right, so
you can understand...
00:11:55.93\00:11:57.36
I'm recovered, ladies...
you can TOO! Ha, ha, ha, ha
00:11:57.40\00:12:01.90
So you can understand these
stages of change for yourself
00:12:01.93\00:12:04.71
because you obviously had to
00:12:04.74\00:12:05.92
come to knowledge first to
give that up... That's right
00:12:05.95\00:12:08.61
All right... what
was the knowledge?
00:12:08.64\00:12:10.37
Um... the knowledge
Well, I didn't like feeling
00:12:10.40\00:12:13.16
the out-of-control,
00:12:13.19\00:12:14.32
and then the
knowledge of understanding how
00:12:14.35\00:12:16.99
damaging it was in
the long run to my body...
00:12:17.02\00:12:19.55
And just asking
myself the question...
00:12:19.58\00:12:22.50
"Why is it that you
feel so compelled to eat this
00:12:22.53\00:12:24.72
all the time"... not
just it tastes good...
00:12:24.75\00:12:26.66
You know, there are a
lot of things that I eat that
00:12:26.69\00:12:28.37
taste good, but I didn't
feel as compelled to eat it
00:12:28.40\00:12:31.16
So it took, for me,
probably just a clean cut.
00:12:31.19\00:12:34.24
Not a nibble
here, a nibble there,
00:12:34.27\00:12:35.95
I just... I clean-cut it out,
00:12:35.98\00:12:37.83
and pretty soon, I didn't
feel the need for it anymore...
00:12:37.86\00:12:41.96
or desire for it as strongly.
00:12:41.97\00:12:43.35
Well, and that's exactly what
I was planning on bringing up
00:12:43.38\00:12:46.25
is that's what needs to
be done for all addictions...
00:12:46.28\00:12:49.37
is that clean-cut.
00:12:49.38\00:12:51.20
A lot of people think cutting
down is the way of success.
00:12:51.23\00:12:54.26
It's not the way of success.
00:12:54.29\00:12:56.79
Whether you're an alcoholic,
or whether you're a tobacco user
00:12:56.82\00:12:59.59
Yeah, one cigarette a
day is better than 10,
00:12:59.62\00:13:04.20
but you're still giving
yourself deep distressing sense
00:13:04.23\00:13:08.89
of deprivation often in between.
00:13:08.92\00:13:11.21
And so, you're going to lead
yourself back into that again.
00:13:11.24\00:13:14.78
And so, what you need
to do is make a clean cut
00:13:14.81\00:13:17.65
and then express your
feelings in regards to the
00:13:17.68\00:13:21.43
joy of being free, and
that your happiness now
00:13:21.46\00:13:25.01
is not at all
related to that. Um hm
00:13:25.04\00:13:27.31
And as you focus in
that thought, you know...
00:13:27.34\00:13:29.28
"I'm very happy and it's not
at all related to that at all"
00:13:29.31\00:13:32.23
...you're much less
likely to get back involved
00:13:32.26\00:13:35.58
in that addiction.
00:13:35.61\00:13:37.06
I think it's really
significant too, to understand,
00:13:37.09\00:13:39.92
like we mentioned
earlier, that addictions are
00:13:39.95\00:13:41.76
learned and that
your brain becomes wired
00:13:41.79\00:13:44.99
to WANT this substance.
00:13:45.02\00:13:46.98
But it also, by not having that
substance for a period of time,
00:13:47.01\00:13:50.60
that wiring that
seemed so strong,
00:13:50.63\00:13:52.84
and that just kept triggering...
you know, "chocolate, chocolate"
00:13:52.87\00:13:55.19
or alcohol,
alcohol... whatever it is,
00:13:55.22\00:13:56.93
can actually, that line
can actually become weakened
00:13:56.96\00:14:01.42
through not using it.
00:14:01.45\00:14:04.58
That even became an issue
with our clinical psychologist
00:14:04.61\00:14:08.18
a few years ago...
00:14:08.21\00:14:09.78
She started studying
the effects of caffeine on
00:14:09.81\00:14:12.47
the brain, and she started
recognizing that even probably
00:14:12.50\00:14:15.27
a lot of her family relationship
problems were related to this.
00:14:15.28\00:14:18.72
And so, she recognized
the problems in her own life
00:14:18.75\00:14:22.35
She was starting to
have some palpitations,
00:14:22.38\00:14:24.13
and she said, "I'm
going to give this up"
00:14:24.16\00:14:26.25
So, she became
informed, she went to stage 2
00:14:26.26\00:14:29.23
Then she needed to go to
stage 3, consciously competent
00:14:29.26\00:14:32.96
But to be consciously competent,
00:14:32.99\00:14:34.75
every time she was thirsty,
she would think of "Pepsi"
00:14:34.78\00:14:37.81
...that was her
caffeine beverage of choice.
00:14:37.84\00:14:41.28
And she would say, "No,
I'm not going to drink Pepsi. "
00:14:41.31\00:14:45.59
"I'm going to drink water. "
00:14:45.62\00:14:46.71
So she would go drink water.
00:14:46.72\00:14:49.47
And that whole
day, she had to think...
00:14:49.48\00:14:52.08
"Thirsty" and then the
first thought would be "Pepsi"
00:14:52.11\00:14:55.56
And then she would
change that thought
00:14:55.59\00:14:57.10
and say, "No... water"
00:14:57.13\00:14:58.82
The next day, she was
still thinking of Pepsi.
00:14:58.85\00:15:01.08
The next week, she was
still thinking of Pepsi.
00:15:01.11\00:15:03.59
And it was until a month later,
that when she got thirsty,
00:15:03.62\00:15:07.40
she no longer
thought of Pepsi. Hmm
00:15:07.43\00:15:09.56
She was thinking of water.
00:15:09.57\00:15:11.24
And what she had
done in that 30 days,
00:15:11.27\00:15:14.04
is that she had now moved
from consciously competent
00:15:14.07\00:15:16.58
which is where you
have to think about it
00:15:16.61\00:15:18.38
and make it part of your
personal effort every time
00:15:18.41\00:15:21.64
To now it was
unconsciously competent,
00:15:21.67\00:15:24.60
and that's when you know you
have the really complete victory
00:15:24.63\00:15:28.13
there at your fingertips
because now when she's thirsty,
00:15:28.16\00:15:31.01
she thinks of water. Um hm
00:15:31.04\00:15:32.27
And she enjoys water.
00:15:32.30\00:15:33.49
And she
recognized the benefit of it,
00:15:33.52\00:15:35.42
and her relationships
did dramatically improve.
00:15:35.45\00:15:38.52
Her health
dramatically improved,
00:15:38.55\00:15:40.05
and so, she is far better
now with her water beverage
00:15:40.08\00:15:43.46
than she was with caffeine,
00:15:43.49\00:15:44.66
and she's not even
tempted. Good for her!
00:15:44.69\00:15:47.11
So the
consciously competent phase
00:15:47.14\00:15:50.21
is the
re-training... That's right
00:15:50.24\00:15:52.28
And it seems like we may
have that strong pathway that
00:15:52.31\00:15:55.37
initially said,
"Pepsi" but what she did was
00:15:55.40\00:15:58.03
maybe when that trigger
went... when she was thirsty,
00:15:58.06\00:16:00.79
the trigger, instead of going
"Pepsi," she started developing
00:16:00.82\00:16:03.78
a new habit, and training
her brain to think "water"
00:16:03.81\00:16:07.84
And that takes a
lot of effort initially
00:16:07.87\00:16:10.85
But what I hear you saying
is that effort is going to
00:16:10.88\00:16:12.52
pay off because it's not
always going to be difficult.
00:16:12.55\00:16:15.15
That's right, and I wish
more people understood that
00:16:15.18\00:16:17.86
because what happens is
that they will be in the
00:16:17.89\00:16:20.56
stage 3 and
they'll be struggling
00:16:20.57\00:16:22.73
at maybe week 2
or week 3 and say...
00:16:22.77\00:16:24.18
"You know, I'm
still thinking of that,
00:16:24.22\00:16:25.60
and I'm still
struggling with it"
00:16:25.63\00:16:27.20
And then they might actually
give up and go back to it...
00:16:27.23\00:16:31.79
and then say, "I can't do this,
it just was NEVER easy for me"
00:16:31.82\00:16:35.63
"It was always hard, and I
just seemed to be miserable
00:16:35.66\00:16:38.97
all the time... And so
I'm just not going to do this"
00:16:39.00\00:16:41.01
And so they go back and forth
between stage 2 and stage 3
00:16:41.04\00:16:45.15
and they never get
the joy of stage 4.
00:16:45.18\00:16:49.35
And if they just would
have stayed in it long enough
00:16:49.38\00:16:52.09
they would have been able to
experience that joy of stage 4
00:16:52.12\00:16:55.99
And people in
stage 4, by the way,
00:16:56.02\00:16:59.04
have a hard time understanding
people in stage 1 and vice versa
00:16:59.07\00:17:01.48
You know, they'll
see someone who's having
00:17:02.42\00:17:04.99
bad lifestyle habits, and say,
00:17:05.02\00:17:06.88
"How in the world can you
seem to even enjoy that?" Right
00:17:06.91\00:17:10.85
For instance, the type of
music that I used to enjoy...
00:17:10.88\00:17:15.69
And now when I hear
it, it's so repulsive to me
00:17:15.72\00:17:19.02
and I see people
enjoying it... it's kind of like
00:17:19.05\00:17:22.17
"There's got to be
something wrong with them. "
00:17:22.20\00:17:24.08
"How in the world
can they enjoy that?"
00:17:24.11\00:17:26.07
Well, they're in stage 1
00:17:26.08\00:17:28.01
They're
unconsciously incompetent.
00:17:28.04\00:17:29.54
They don't realize that
music, the adverse effects
00:17:29.57\00:17:32.00
it's having on them.
00:17:32.03\00:17:33.28
I'm unconsciously
competent because I enjoy
00:17:33.31\00:17:36.71
types of music that's
going to enhance things
00:17:36.74\00:17:39.02
and it doesn't have
the addictive relationship,
00:17:39.05\00:17:40.91
and, by the way, there's
a parenthetical note there
00:17:40.94\00:17:43.49
Things that are
healthy by and large...
00:17:43.52\00:17:48.21
don't have the
addictive potential... Hmm
00:17:48.24\00:17:50.89
You know, people that are
obese, I deal with obesity a lot
00:17:50.92\00:17:53.36
And people will say, "Yes,
you talk about the clean break,
00:17:53.39\00:17:57.59
you have to have that
clean break, but I can't,
00:17:57.62\00:17:59.82
because I'm addicted to food. "
00:17:59.85\00:18:01.36
"And so, how am I going to
make a clean break with food?"
00:18:01.39\00:18:04.20
"I can't live without food"
00:18:04.23\00:18:05.92
Well, they are
addicted to certain foods,
00:18:05.95\00:18:08.34
but I have YET to see someone
addicted to broccoli. Um hm
00:18:08.37\00:18:11.53
Yeah, that's
seems like a hard one.
00:18:11.56\00:18:13.08
And broccoli is something
that's nutritious, it's healthy,
00:18:13.11\00:18:16.23
but you can get enough of it
00:18:16.26\00:18:18.06
And if I actually
told someone that they were
00:18:18.09\00:18:21.58
addicted to
broccoli, there would be no
00:18:21.61\00:18:23.20
sweat coming off of them.
00:18:23.23\00:18:24.78
They might even enjoy broccoli
00:18:24.79\00:18:27.15
...that they'd say,
"Well, okay I guess I can get by
00:18:27.18\00:18:29.28
without that... And
healthy things are that way!
00:18:29.31\00:18:32.26
And really, that's why this is
all kind of a spiritual battle.
00:18:32.29\00:18:38.17
This is why spirituality
and depending on a higher power
00:18:38.20\00:18:42.17
is so very important in
overcoming addictions. Hmm
00:18:42.20\00:18:45.53
Because WITH addictions, you
know, the devil tempts people
00:18:45.54\00:18:51.08
into thinking that when
you do something that is
00:18:51.11\00:18:53.93
harmful for you,
you're exercising your
00:18:53.96\00:18:56.21
freedom of choice.
00:18:56.24\00:18:57.53
You have freedom...
you're a free moral agent
00:18:57.54\00:18:59.51
and so, you're going to
have freedom to do that.
00:18:59.52\00:19:01.90
But with the things
that he's tempting with,
00:19:01.93\00:19:04.93
he's actually
taking away their freedom.
00:19:04.94\00:19:07.36
And so, they really
don't have the freedom to
00:19:07.39\00:19:10.25
not smoke anymore UNLESS
they get a spiritual resource to
00:19:10.28\00:19:14.59
take them from
stage 2 to stage 3
00:19:14.62\00:19:16.37
They might even
recognize smoking as bad
00:19:16.40\00:19:19.28
but their choice
has been removed.
00:19:19.29\00:19:21.92
God's choices are not that way.
00:19:21.95\00:19:24.21
God's choices are of
such that we can be completely
00:19:24.24\00:19:27.39
free and we don't have to
sweat blood and tears and cry
00:19:27.42\00:19:32.80
when we are changing even
healthy things in our diet
00:19:32.83\00:19:37.94
from one healthy
thing to another.
00:19:37.97\00:19:39.52
And so we can be
completely free with God's plan.
00:19:39.53\00:19:44.00
So there are 2 things
I hear you saying here...
00:19:44.03\00:19:45.88
One, that the substances or
the things that actually produce
00:19:45.91\00:19:50.72
addiction... they MUST somehow
affect our neurochemistry
00:19:50.75\00:19:55.57
whereas the healthy things don't
... they don't mess with it
00:19:55.60\00:19:57.95
They keep it
working harmoniously and...
00:19:57.98\00:20:00.15
Yeah, the healthy things
can enhance neurochemistry
00:20:00.18\00:20:02.90
but aren't going to
produce the BIG dopamine surge.
00:20:02.93\00:20:06.33
It's the dopamine surge
that produces this pleasurable
00:20:06.36\00:20:10.09
sensation that is not
based on anything real, per se
00:20:10.12\00:20:14.63
And so you get this
big pleasurable sensation
00:20:14.66\00:20:17.33
for not altering your thoughts,
00:20:17.36\00:20:20.03
or altering
anything you're doing, except
00:20:20.06\00:20:22.00
taking the substance. Um hm
00:20:22.01\00:20:23.36
And so people will start to
DEPEND on that dopamine surge
00:20:23.39\00:20:27.74
where God's healthy things
do produce a nice dopamine
00:20:27.77\00:20:32.16
benefit, particularly if
we're in a pleasurable scene,
00:20:32.19\00:20:35.37
or we're camping, or we're
eating some good, you know,
00:20:35.40\00:20:39.59
tasty broccoli that is
seasoned appropriately.
00:20:39.62\00:20:42.06
We can get those
pleasurable dopamine levels,
00:20:42.09\00:20:46.03
but not to the surge point
00:20:46.06\00:20:47.80
where we are going to
end up feeling like we're
00:20:47.83\00:20:50.99
significantly deprived
if we happen to NOT have
00:20:51.02\00:20:54.22
that broccoli, that's seasoned
right, for one week... Right!
00:20:54.25\00:20:58.24
The second point that I
think is really powerful,
00:20:58.27\00:21:00.74
and that is that the
things that you once desired,
00:21:00.77\00:21:04.33
now you don't
desire them anymore...
00:21:04.36\00:21:06.06
And I think there are a lot of
people who may be experiencing
00:21:06.09\00:21:09.01
addiction, and
they cannot imagine life
00:21:09.02\00:21:11.86
without this... That's right.
00:21:11.90\00:21:13.83
They can't imagine that
they would never have this...
00:21:13.87\00:21:16.25
that even brings a little
bit of fear, maybe, to them.
00:21:16.28\00:21:19.65
But there's a promise in
Scripture that I think is really
00:21:19.68\00:21:22.50
worth understanding in this way
00:21:22.53\00:21:25.04
and it's the promise when God
says that He's going to write
00:21:25.07\00:21:28.13
in our hearts AND in our
minds, right?, the new laws.
00:21:28.16\00:21:33.26
A new law. Yes.
He's going to not only
00:21:33.29\00:21:35.17
intellectually convict
us... "This is bad for you"
00:21:35.18\00:21:38.35
That's right... "You
shouldn't be doing this"
00:21:38.38\00:21:39.65
Can you imagine
always living under that?
00:21:39.68\00:21:41.42
"I shouldn't be doing this.
" "I shouldn't be doing this. "
00:21:41.45\00:21:42.98
"I shouldn't be
doing this. " Yeah...
00:21:42.99\00:21:44.37
But still doing it! Right
00:21:44.38\00:21:45.72
But He also wants to write it
in our hearts where the DESIRE
00:21:45.73\00:21:49.81
springs from... and so
now, what's so beautiful
00:21:49.84\00:21:52.71
is the things that
you had so much desire for
00:21:52.74\00:21:55.14
you no longer desire
them, and the things that
00:21:55.17\00:21:58.38
ARE good for you,
you DO desire them!
00:21:58.41\00:22:00.33
And that's the beautiful
plan they're going to have.
00:22:00.36\00:22:02.13
And we can choose our
own pleasure really... Right
00:22:02.16\00:22:04.23
A lot of people don't realize
it but we have the ability
00:22:04.24\00:22:06.83
to actually
choose our own pleasures.
00:22:06.86\00:22:09.67
When we stick with a healthier
plan, we will actually enjoy it.
00:22:09.70\00:22:14.83
And we can actually enjoy food
that we didn't enjoy before.
00:22:14.86\00:22:18.70
And, yes, that truth
is a powerful motivator
00:22:18.73\00:22:23.22
to help change...
00:22:23.25\00:22:24.30
But, you know, saying that
"I know I shouldn't do this,
00:22:24.33\00:22:28.16
but I'm doing it" ...
that's where Paul was at
00:22:28.19\00:22:30.48
In Romans 7, he tells us
about his terrible struggle
00:22:30.51\00:22:33.66
He was going
between stage 2 and stage 3,
00:22:33.69\00:22:36.23
but then he
recognized to stay in stage 3,
00:22:36.24\00:22:38.86
and then go to stage 4...
00:22:38.87\00:22:40.36
it required that
spiritual dependence.
00:22:40.39\00:22:43.86
So Paul was struggling
with knowing that something
00:22:43.89\00:22:47.10
was right to do,
but not doing it,
00:22:47.13\00:22:49.84
or knowing it was wrong
to do, and yet still doing it
00:22:49.87\00:22:52.08
And yet still doing it...
Yeah, he had that same struggle
00:22:52.11\00:22:54.20
of going from
stage 2 to stage 3.
00:22:54.21\00:22:56.22
And then he gives
the answer in Romans 8...
00:22:56.25\00:22:58.81
of not depending on the flesh,
but walking after the Spirit...
00:22:58.84\00:23:02.83
In other words, walking
after the Spirit of truth
00:23:02.86\00:23:05.16
The Spirit is where the frontal
lobe is... exercising his will
00:23:05.19\00:23:08.02
...his spirituality depending
on God to help him through that
00:23:08.05\00:23:11.62
process, and then he...
Actually, it's like an airplane
00:23:11.65\00:23:15.17
taking off... He
starts talking about his
00:23:15.20\00:23:17.38
elevated existence... Um hm
00:23:17.41\00:23:19.24
I thank God through the
Lord, Jesus Christ... Exactly
00:23:19.27\00:23:23.16
He brought me through that.
00:23:23.19\00:23:24.28
And that's when David
could say, "At thy right hand,
00:23:24.31\00:23:26.72
there are pleasures
forevermore!" Um hmm
00:23:26.73\00:23:29.84
And Christ came and
said, "I came to give you life,
00:23:29.87\00:23:33.15
and give it more abundantly. "
00:23:33.18\00:23:34.80
There are much better
ways for us to live out there.
00:23:34.81\00:23:37.52
And these people that
think that their existence
00:23:37.55\00:23:40.50
in any way, shape or form
is dependent on something that
00:23:40.53\00:23:44.57
they don't need...
00:23:44.60\00:23:45.59
It's actually a pleasure trap.
00:23:45.60\00:23:47.60
Yeah, it's a pleasure trap.
00:23:47.63\00:23:48.81
And, you know, unlike
broccoli which we do need,
00:23:48.84\00:23:51.22
or we need some of
the nutrients in broccoli,
00:23:51.23\00:23:53.73
these addictive
things we don't need!
00:23:53.76\00:23:55.82
And there's something
that's true about anything
00:23:55.85\00:24:00.20
that we don't need, and
that is whatever we don't need,
00:24:00.23\00:24:02.76
will NEVER satisfy us...
00:24:02.79\00:24:04.30
And that's why we can never
get enough of what we don't need
00:24:04.33\00:24:07.53
The things we DO
need, we can get enough.
00:24:07.56\00:24:09.58
We can drink enough
water, and not be thirsty.
00:24:09.61\00:24:12.46
And there's not this
urge to just go back to it
00:24:12.49\00:24:17.05
an hour we have
filled up with thirst.
00:24:17.08\00:24:19.84
Or quenched our
thirst, like there is with the
00:24:19.87\00:24:23.77
addictive substances.
00:24:23.80\00:24:25.12
So there is a pleasure
and a satisfaction that comes
00:24:25.15\00:24:28.17
just from living maybe
the way that God's plan...
00:24:28.20\00:24:31.68
Pleasure,
satisfaction and a freedom.
00:24:31.71\00:24:33.97
Yeah, there's nothing
more pleasurable than being
00:24:34.00\00:24:37.53
completely free
and at liberty... Um hm
00:24:37.56\00:24:39.98
And you DON'T have
freedom and liberty unless
00:24:40.01\00:24:42.87
you're following God's plan.
00:24:42.90\00:24:44.51
And it's kind of something that
the human flesh can't understand
00:24:44.54\00:24:48.63
because they think
freedom exists in doing things
00:24:48.66\00:24:51.21
that are harmful for them, and
they're exercising that freedom.
00:24:51.22\00:24:53.95
But they don't realize
that that freedom is going to be
00:24:53.98\00:24:57.18
taken away like never before.
00:24:57.21\00:24:59.80
But when they realize,
that yeah, I can do this
00:24:59.83\00:25:02.42
but I'm NOT going to because
I want to be completely free,
00:25:02.43\00:25:05.43
I don't want to be
trapped, and have these urges
00:25:05.46\00:25:08.28
that I can't control...
00:25:08.31\00:25:10.75
there is a sense of
freedom and pleasure that you
00:25:10.78\00:25:12.95
can't get in any other way.
00:25:12.98\00:25:14.62
That is right... I just thought
of a Scripture that says,
00:25:14.65\00:25:16.98
"I will RUN in the way of
your commands, for you have set
00:25:17.01\00:25:19.47
my heart FREE!" YES!
00:25:19.50\00:25:21.12
There's freedom in
following God's plan for us,
00:25:21.15\00:25:23.56
and that's all He
wants for us. Yes, absolutely
00:25:23.59\00:25:26.30
One other addiction I'd
like to bring up that is a very
00:25:26.31\00:25:30.09
powerful addiction...
studies show particularly in men
00:25:30.12\00:25:33.32
is the addiction of
pornography... Um hm
00:25:33.35\00:25:35.34
It's become, I
just heard yesterday,
00:25:35.37\00:25:38.06
20 billion dollars
spent on the internet.
00:25:38.09\00:25:40.41
It is the #1 internet business.
00:25:40.44\00:25:42.67
People are doing it in private.
00:25:42.70\00:25:44.48
A lot of people, in their lives,
00:25:44.51\00:25:46.74
have no clue
that they're doing it.
00:25:46.77\00:25:47.95
It can be SO addictive, studies
show that even one exposure
00:25:47.99\00:25:51.98
to a boy, in SOME
instances, will hook them.
00:25:52.01\00:25:55.08
And that is an addiction
that also needs the clean break
00:25:55.11\00:26:00.61
You have to go through
all 4 of the stages of change.
00:26:00.64\00:26:03.50
But one of the things that
people that have been addicted
00:26:03.53\00:26:07.93
to these things that involve
images is... those images
00:26:07.96\00:26:10.49
are there in their mind.
00:26:10.52\00:26:11.99
And occasionally those
images come up, and they think
00:26:12.02\00:26:15.64
you know, in their brain,
or maybe they'll see someone
00:26:15.67\00:26:18.50
provocatively
dressed, and those images will
00:26:18.53\00:26:20.99
start coming up, and
then they'll think...
00:26:21.02\00:26:23.25
"Oh, I've blown it.
I've lost it, etcetera. "
00:26:23.26\00:26:25.98
But those images
are there in the memory.
00:26:26.01\00:26:27.92
They're going to be
there, but instead of
00:26:27.95\00:26:30.05
beating themselves
up over it, they need to
00:26:30.08\00:26:32.46
recognize... "You know
what, I am NOT dependent on this
00:26:32.49\00:26:35.59
ANYMORE... this is not a part
of my life, and I am SO happy
00:26:35.62\00:26:39.57
that I am NOT that way. "
00:26:39.60\00:26:42.09
And so, those images will
be expelled just as quickly
00:26:42.10\00:26:44.84
as they came, and if
that process continues,
00:26:44.87\00:26:47.91
they're going to be able to
go from consciously competent,
00:26:47.94\00:26:50.43
to unconsciously
competent as well...
00:26:50.46\00:26:53.30
that if they happen to see
an image that used to bring up
00:26:53.33\00:26:57.91
those type of feelings, they're
going to be repulsed by it,
00:26:57.94\00:27:00.76
and say, "You know what? This
is only for intimacy in someone
00:27:00.79\00:27:05.29
who is deeply intimate with me?"
00:27:05.30\00:27:06.88
"Why in the world, would
anyone want to show me that,
00:27:06.91\00:27:10.45
or would I want to look
at that when I don't even
00:27:10.46\00:27:14.51
know that person. " Um hm
00:27:14.54\00:27:16.39
And so they would be repulsed
by it, and have the victory.
00:27:16.42\00:27:20.75
So, Dr. Nedley, let's
say someone has gone through
00:27:20.78\00:27:23.88
all 4 of these stages,
and they've overcome their
00:27:23.91\00:27:27.83
addiction successfully,
and then they make a mistake...
00:27:27.86\00:27:30.44
Instead of throwing in the
towel like a lot of people do,
00:27:30.45\00:27:33.56
and say, "Oh, it didn't work.
It's not going to work for me"
00:27:33.59\00:27:36.31
...they need to
analyze that mistake.
00:27:36.34\00:27:38.39
See what guards were
let down before that mistake
00:27:38.42\00:27:41.77
happened... set up those guards
00:27:41.80\00:27:43.74
and actually they
will be much less likely
00:27:43.77\00:27:46.55
to make a mistake in the future.
00:27:46.58\00:27:48.55
They'll actually turn
that mistake into victory
00:27:48.58\00:27:52.14
by analyzing it.
00:27:52.17\00:27:53.30
So instead of becoming defeated,
they'll become stronger
00:27:53.33\00:27:56.61
as a result of it hopefully.
00:27:56.64\00:27:57.76
That's right and set it up as
a beacon of warning! Very good
00:27:57.79\00:27:59.85
Thank you, Dr. Nedley,
again for being with us today.
00:28:00.49\00:28:03.17
Thank you, Rise,
it's been my pleasure.
00:28:03.20\00:28:05.11
We hope that this information
will be a blessing to you
00:28:05.14\00:28:07.58
and that you'll
use it in your life.
00:28:07.61\00:28:09.05
Until next time...
00:28:09.09\00:28:10.94