Welcome to "Wonderfully Made"
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Today, we have Dr.
Neil Nedley with us
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And I think my first exposure
to Dr. Nedley was through
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some of the
books he has written...
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"Proof Positive,"
and one on depression...
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I've also heard you
lecture, Dr. Nedley,
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and I hear that you give some
depression recovery programs.
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Yes, in fact, that's part of
the most gratifying things that
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we have
accomplished, I think, is the
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"Depression Recovery Program"
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It's actually being utilized
in many cities throughout
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the U.S., as we're
speaking here today.
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It's an 8-part
series, an 8-week series
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It's one night a
week for 8 weeks.
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And, it actually has been
shown to be much more effective
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than medications
in depression recovery
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In fact, a lot of people
are able to get off of their
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medicines after completing
the educational component
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in depression recovery...
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what we're
putting into our body,
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and what we're
doing with our body.
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That's incredible...
One thing that I really
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appreciate about you,
as a physician, is your
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effort to educate the public,
and give them information
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to actually help them
prevent making an appointment
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to have to go see you.
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Yes, there is a lot of
good scientific information
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that's been out
there, and published by
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major universities, but the
average citizen just doesn't
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know about it... Right
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It might get in medical journals
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It may get in some
obscure nutritional journal
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And, it may be a
landmark study...
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and unless they
hear about it from us...
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who are actually
treating patients,
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and educating the patients,
they won't be able to alter
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their lives and
positively benefit from it...
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So, we need to get this
information out... Absolutely!
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To introduce our subject today,
I just want to share with you
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a quote that I can
relate to a little too well...
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It's from Mark
Twain, and he said,
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"I have been through some
terrible things in my life,
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some of which actually happened"
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And I don't know about you,
but sometimes we can have some
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distortional thinking,
and yet it affects our reality
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in such a real way...
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And I think the title
of the subject today is...
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"The truth will set you free"
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Absolutely... in
fact, that's one of the most
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exciting things that has
been done in the last generation
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in regards to
mental health research...
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is the type of therapy
that can actually improve
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brain function significantly
is NOT traditional psychotherapy
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Traditional psychotherapy
is what many of us learned in
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college, and you
know, the Emerson theory,
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and the Freud theory,
and there is all of the
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great
psychotherapists in the past...
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and the reason why
they're called "theories"
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is because they were
never proven in practice
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to be better
than taking a placebo
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In fact, every time their
studies have been put into
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a randomized trial,
no better than placebo
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In fact the current issue of
"Scientific American Medicine"
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...the current textbook states
that traditional psychotherapy
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has never been shown to be
superior to taking a placebo
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in treating depression,
or other mental illnesses
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And so, it's something that is
exciting... there is a type of
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therapy that can help,
and that therapy is called
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"cognitive behavioral therapy"
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Tell me a little bit
about cognitive therapy...
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Well, a cognition is a thought.
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And so, what our
viewers are thinking right now
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is actually their cognitions...
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And we have them
analyze their thoughts
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...their silent self-talk
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That's the first step of
cognitive behavioral therapy
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is to analyze your thoughts
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And then the second
step is to try to detect
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distortions in those thoughts.
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And, of course,
in order to do that,
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you have to be taught the
10 common cognitive distortions
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that are done by
people throughout the world
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...to see if those
thoughts are distorted.
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And then after we find out
if those thoughts are distorted,
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which often they are, we
then line up those thoughts
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with what is accurate,
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and we re-phrase those thoughts
into an accurate setting
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and that requires, a lot of
times, where people habitually
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having distorted thoughts,
they'll have to write down...
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"Okay, what is the
accurate thought"...
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they'll write it down,
and then every time they
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think the distorted
thought, they'll say...
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"No, that's distorted, I'm
going to think this instead"
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And they will think
the accurate thought
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And as that becomes a practice,
they will significantly
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improve their depression,
and a number of other
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mental
illnesses can improve with
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cognitive behavioral therapy
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So the truth that's going
to set us free make come from
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an external source to try
to give us the correct picture
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of what we are actually
thinking lies about in our own
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thought processes...
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Yes, it can come
from an external source
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It's actually good to
study some absolute truths
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in order to be able to
pick up the micro truths
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And I think that's why
Scripture fits so well with
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cognitive behavioral therapies
because there is macro truths
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that are there...
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And as we start focusing
in on things that are true
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in principle all the
time, we can more easily pick up
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the micro errors that
we can have in our thinking
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Why do you think we
develop this kind of
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distortional thinking?
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Well, part of it is because our
brains are a little bit flawed
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You know, genetically,
there is no such person with a
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perfect brain
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And so, we are prone
to that from genetics
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We're prone to that from
our environment to some extent
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and how we've been programmed
or raised, or not raised
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in a particular manner
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And then also, we often foster
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these distorted thoughts
ourselves, and we dwell on them
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and we can perpetuate them
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to greater heights than
they would be otherwise.
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So this negative thinking
that we allow ourselves to
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maybe either hear or
that we generate ourselves,
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strengthens that
distortional thought process
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Yes, particularly if the
negative thinking is out of
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proportion, or magnified.
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It's NOT JUST negative thinking
in and of itself that's bad
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I mean, there are some things...
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there are everyday
inconveniences that occur
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with everyone, but how
we describe those everyday
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negative events
in our own thoughts,
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and what we think
about them, has a lot to do
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with our future mental health.
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So, we're talking in abstracts
now... let's bring it together
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and let's get some specifics...
What are some of these
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distortional ways
in which we think?
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Well, there are 10
cognitive distortions...
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You know, there
are 10 commandments
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that the Bible talks about...
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And there are also 10
ways of distorted thinking.
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Distortion #1 is
All or nothing thinking.
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All or nothing, that's
like when you use words like
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"you NEVER" and "always"
That's right, absolutely.
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I have to admit
that I'm at fault for
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using some of those words.
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You know, an example is
someone who came to my office
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...he was quite
high in our community,
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in fact, he was a
state representative...
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actually a state
senator, and he was running for
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the U.S. representative
which would be a national
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Washington DC office...
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And he was part of the majority
party and he got the nod
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from his party to run, and so it
seemed like he was going to win
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Well, he didn't win, and
he came in and looked at me
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and said, "Dr. Nedley,
I've lost the race for congress,
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I am a BIG ZERO" Ohhhh
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And I could tell by the look
on his face, he wasn't joking
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He thought he was a big zero
because he had lost the race...
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Now was that true? No
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No, just because you lose a race
just because you fail a test,
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just because you
have a divorce...
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just because... anything
bad happens, you lose your job,
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doesn't mean
that you're a big zero
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But yet, that's where all-or-
nothing thinking will lead to
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And, it can also
work the other way...
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You know, many of the athlete
people tend to have the side
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of things where if they
had a homerun to win the game,
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they think they're
the greatest in the world
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and that can set themselves
up for mental problems as well
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Pride is one of the greatest...
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Actually, probably the
foremost mental health problem
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is self-pride, and that's
what produces over-sensitivity
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It's what produces
exalted feelings of yourself
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...as well as highly
opinionated things over things
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that you really
shouldn't be opinionated about
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...those are all pride issues.
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People that are argumentative,
difficult to get along with, etc
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...a lot of those
are... the basis of it is pride
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and one of the basis of pride
is the "all-or-nothing" thinking
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And it seems like you
set yourself up when you're
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extremely PROUD, or
you have that kind of
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distortional thinking...
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because as soon as someone
attacks anything in which
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you feel your
pride is based upon,
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then you're down to
the nothing... That's right
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Exactly, and that's why people,
in fact... as I've helped
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many people with depression...
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...in fact, we have run many
depression recovery programs
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and then we do follow-up
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programs and they will, to a
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person... And voluntarily
themselves, I'm not actually
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trying to get them to
say this, but they'll say...
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"You know, what I realize
now that I'm a whole lot better
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is what led me
into this... was pride"
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And so they will start seeing
some of the foundational issues
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that produced the
distorted thoughts.
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That's wonderful... So
you're able to lead these
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people to the truth in
acknowledging maybe where
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their distortional thinking
is originating from... Exactly!
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Yeah, unless you get the
ax to the root of the trees,
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so to speak... It will
grow back.. That's right
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You know, a lot of these
things that psychotherapists
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have been dealing
with are FRUIT and not root
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And if we really want to change
what the tree is producing
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we have to change the root...
Cut it down... Yeah that's right
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and that's why dealing with just
the fruit which is a lot of this
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so-called
"traditional psychotherapy"
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doesn't really work that well
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So what's the next one?
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The next one is...
Over-generalization
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Now an example of this actually
occurred when I was in college
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A good friend of mine
who was a pre-med student
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was shy... a
nice-looking young man but shy,
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and he had his eye on
a girl for about 6 months
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before he had enough
courage to ask her out
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He told us how he was
going to ask her out...
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And we thought he had a
high likelihood of success
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and he comes back to the
dorm ... his head is down
00:11:01.72\00:11:04.82
...he's walking slowly Ohhhh
00:11:04.85\00:11:06.98
He was turned down! That's right
00:11:07.01\00:11:09.81
And I said,
"Glen, what happened?"
00:11:09.84\00:11:12.02
And he said, "Neil, I'm destined
to be lonely and miserable
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the rest of my life. " Ohhh
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And, what he did was, he
over-generalized in 2 areas
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In fact, I even asked
him, "What did she say?"
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And, he said, "She said, that
she had another event to go to
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and couldn't
come with me. " Hmmmm
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So, it was a legitimate reason!
00:11:31.75\00:11:33.10
Legitimate reason, and so I
said, "And so you think that?"
00:11:33.13\00:11:38.11
And he said, "Well Neil, I
got to thinking about that,
00:11:38.14\00:11:41.18
and I thought that if
she just thought HALF as much
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about me as I think about
her, she would have changed
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that event and gone along
with me... so I'm destined
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to be lonely and
miserable the rest of my life. "
00:11:50.91\00:11:54.16
Well, he
over-generalized in 2 areas...
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The first area he
over-generalized was
00:11:55.76\00:11:57.52
...Because she
turned him down once,
00:11:57.55\00:12:00.04
he assumed, she was
always going to turn him down.
00:12:00.07\00:12:03.87
And, he didn't really know
that... that was an assumption
00:12:03.90\00:12:07.29
The second over-generalization
he made was that
00:12:07.32\00:12:10.18
100% of eligible women
had identical taste to hers
00:12:10.19\00:12:15.37
and, thus, he would be
endlessly rejected... Right
00:12:15.40\00:12:18.15
People with
over-generalization may
00:12:18.18\00:12:20.10
have a fear of
trying new things...
00:12:20.13\00:12:22.71
They do have a fear of rejection
00:12:22.74\00:12:25.49
and it can hamper
their ability to succeed
00:12:25.52\00:12:28.37
If the creator of the
light bulb, Thomas Edison,
00:12:28.40\00:12:33.74
started to over-generalize
after his 10th failure...
00:12:33.77\00:12:36.89
we wouldn't have light today
00:12:36.92\00:12:39.36
and you wouldn't be
watching this... That's right
00:12:39.39\00:12:41.76
And so, we have to
beware of over-generalizing
00:12:41.77\00:12:45.21
...it's a very
common cognitive distortion
00:12:45.24\00:12:47.13
It seems like a common factor
in both the all-or-nothing
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and the over-generalization
is that identity is so much
00:12:50.30\00:12:55.12
caught up in
whether it was for him...
00:12:55.15\00:12:57.72
this lady receiving him, and
accepting him and desiring him
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or the other illustration
you give... the man with his job
00:13:01.42\00:13:05.13
Especially for men,
their identity is so
00:13:05.16\00:13:06.93
wrapped up in their
career, or in our relationships
00:13:06.96\00:13:10.39
Yes, absolutely...
00:13:10.42\00:13:12.14
The 3rd cognitive
distortion is "mental filter"
00:13:12.15\00:13:15.02
An example of this was a
nice Asian medical student who
00:13:15.05\00:13:19.55
was in my class at Loma
Linda University Medical School
00:13:19.59\00:13:24.06
...and after that first
semester, we were studying
00:13:24.09\00:13:25.97
anatomy, histology,
embryology, gross anatomy,
00:13:26.00\00:13:30.01
and then they have a final
test over all of this with the
00:13:30.04\00:13:32.41
cadavers, and you have to look
at anatomy under the microscope
00:13:32.44\00:13:35.10
Very difficult, it's probably
00:13:35.13\00:13:36.11
the hardest semester that
I recall in my training...
00:13:36.14\00:13:39.78
And, at the end of that
test, I got out a little later
00:13:39.81\00:13:44.56
than she did, but
I noticed a group of
00:13:44.59\00:13:46.74
students there,
and she was crying...
00:13:46.78\00:13:47.89
And I thought, boy, something
bad has happened... what went on
00:13:47.93\00:13:51.77
And so I started listening
to her, and she started
00:13:51.80\00:13:54.83
talking about the
questions that she had missed
00:13:54.86\00:13:56.87
She could think of 17
questions that she had missed
00:13:56.90\00:13:59.37
and she hadn't even gone
back to her textbooks yet
00:13:59.40\00:14:01.77
But she knew of 17 questions
already.. that she had missed
00:14:01.80\00:14:06.24
and so she knew that
there were a whole lot more
00:14:06.27\00:14:09.20
that she didn't realize yet
00:14:09.23\00:14:11.25
She started going
over some of these,
00:14:11.26\00:14:12.60
and I recognized that I
had missed some of those too
00:14:12.63\00:14:15.75
And so I started
to worry a little bit
00:14:15.78\00:14:17.94
But she went home
and told her family that
00:14:17.97\00:14:20.42
she was not cut
out to be a doctor...
00:14:20.45\00:14:22.97
that she had failed this test...
00:14:23.00\00:14:24.31
That's why she was crying
with the other students...
00:14:24.32\00:14:26.24
She told them she had
bombed it and failed the test
00:14:26.27\00:14:28.50
...No use coming
back to medical school
00:14:28.53\00:14:30.42
All of her dreams and
aspirations, her family's dreams
00:14:30.45\00:14:33.61
were crushed, and
finally someone in the family
00:14:33.64\00:14:36.62
said, "You know, why
don't you go back for the
00:14:36.65\00:14:39.10
winter semester,
biochemistry, physiology,
00:14:39.13\00:14:41.58
maybe you can
retake that next semester,
00:14:41.61\00:14:45.25
and just go a year
behind, they'll let you do that
00:14:45.28\00:14:47.60
sometimes in medical school,
or at least see what you got.
00:14:47.63\00:14:51.50
She didn't want to go
back, she was so sure...
00:14:51.53\00:14:53.63
But she finally did,
and she brings her test out
00:14:53.66\00:14:57.82
and there it
was... minus 17... 83%
00:14:57.85\00:15:01.87
This is, by far, the highest
grade in the class! A+ WOW
00:15:01.90\00:15:07.00
And so, all of that focus on
the 17 questions that she did
00:15:07.03\00:15:10.81
through that Christmas break
ruined her emotional health
00:15:10.84\00:15:13.91
...her parents' emotional health
00:15:13.94\00:15:16.08
It affected many of
the students around her,
00:15:16.11\00:15:18.34
and that's what the
mental filter does...
00:15:18.37\00:15:20.89
when we just focus
in on the negative...
00:15:20.92\00:15:22.41
And, you know, in life,
there's always going to be
00:15:22.44\00:15:24.12
negative things...
that we can talk about,
00:15:24.13\00:15:26.11
that we can
discuss Yes... there is
00:15:26.14\00:15:27.91
And when we start
focusing in on that,
00:15:27.94\00:15:30.95
we become quite imbalanced,
00:15:30.98\00:15:32.96
and it can affect many
other areas of life. Um hm
00:15:32.99\00:15:36.53
Sometimes I think it
helps when we do have that
00:15:36.54\00:15:39.44
distorted mental
filter on, to take a step back
00:15:39.47\00:15:42.98
from that situation, and
to try to even find humor
00:15:43.01\00:15:46.83
in it to lift that STRESS
that just seems to be wanting
00:15:46.86\00:15:51.33
to suppress the ability for us
to think clearly... Absolutely!
00:15:51.36\00:15:56.04
So, what's the next one?
00:15:56.07\00:15:57.08
The next one is...
"disqualifying the positive"
00:15:57.11\00:15:59.23
That's distortion #4
00:15:59.24\00:16:01.73
Now "mental filter" was
focusing in on just one aspect
00:16:01.76\00:16:04.70
"Disqualifying the positive"
00:16:04.73\00:16:07.49
recognizes there is the positive
00:16:07.52\00:16:10.43
and actually acknowledges
it, but then DISCOUNTS IT
00:16:10.44\00:16:13.72
...that can be even worse
00:16:13.75\00:16:15.61
An example of how
bad this can get...
00:16:15.64\00:16:17.81
This was a patient who was
in the behavioral medicine unit
00:16:17.84\00:16:20.42
that the psychiatrist asked me
to see for nutritional reasons
00:16:20.45\00:16:23.40
so I could try to improve
her brain chemistry from a
00:16:23.43\00:16:26.71
nutritional standpoint
00:16:26.74\00:16:27.92
And so, I was
talking to her about that,
00:16:27.95\00:16:31.15
and we got her on a
better program for a day or 2,
00:16:31.18\00:16:34.13
and then all of a sudden,
she said she was going home
00:16:34.16\00:16:37.11
And I started asking
her some frank questions,
00:16:37.14\00:16:42.46
and she started
giving me some frank answers
00:16:42.47\00:16:44.46
And she said, "Dr. Nedley,
there is NO ONE in this world
00:16:44.49\00:16:48.04
who cares a
whip-stitch about me" Hmmmm
00:16:48.07\00:16:51.08
She didn't use
the term "whip-stitch,
00:16:51.11\00:16:53.09
but it was somewhat equivalent
00:16:53.12\00:16:55.49
It actually gets into
another cognitive distortion
00:16:55.52\00:16:57.89
that she also
had on top of that.
00:16:57.92\00:16:59.67
And I said, "You know, that's
not true... I care about you,
00:16:59.70\00:17:03.70
I wouldn't be here if I
didn't care about you...
00:17:03.73\00:17:06.94
there are other
things that I could be doing"
00:17:06.97\00:17:09.57
"I notice the
staff... they care about you"
00:17:09.60\00:17:11.47
"They actually like to
be in your room... they talk
00:17:11.50\00:17:13.56
to me how they
enjoy you being in here"
00:17:13.57\00:17:15.56
And she said, "Dr. Nedley,
those people don't count" Hmmm
00:17:15.59\00:17:19.51
...Because they're not
part of the real world.
00:17:19.54\00:17:21.49
"Anyone who is part
of the real world...
00:17:21.52\00:17:23.19
doesn't care a
whip-stitch about me"
00:17:23.22\00:17:25.87
And then I started
talking to her about her friends
00:17:25.90\00:17:28.09
I noticed her friends had
come in and visited with her
00:17:28.12\00:17:29.89
I noticed her
family had been there...
00:17:29.92\00:17:31.48
They had enjoyed being with her
00:17:31.51\00:17:33.20
And she said, "Those
people don't count, Dr. Nedley,
00:17:33.23\00:17:37.10
because they
don't know the real me"
00:17:37.13\00:17:39.57
"Anyone who knows the
real me, recognizes I'm rotten
00:17:39.60\00:17:42.43
to the core, and they can't
think anything positive about me
00:17:42.46\00:17:45.62
Well, here she
acknowledged those people,
00:17:45.63\00:17:48.12
but then she discounted it,
00:17:48.15\00:17:49.76
and so I called her
psychiatrist and told him
00:17:49.79\00:17:52.84
I didn't think she was
ready for discharge yet
00:17:52.87\00:17:54.75
It was more than
just nutrition she needed
00:17:54.78\00:17:57.57
Nutrition was an
important part to help the
00:17:57.60\00:18:00.54
brain chemistry along,
00:18:00.57\00:18:01.71
but she needed
cognitive behavioral therapy
00:18:01.74\00:18:03.85
to recognize the
distortions in her thoughts.
00:18:03.88\00:18:05.99
I think there's a lot of
people out there who are afraid
00:18:06.00\00:18:10.28
of maybe revealing
their true selves because they
00:18:10.31\00:18:13.17
fear just that very thing...
00:18:13.20\00:18:14.80
If they really KNEW what I was
like, they wouldn't like me...
00:18:14.83\00:18:17.51
No one would be around
for me. Yes, that's right,
00:18:17.54\00:18:19.95
and that's bordering on
that disqualifying the positive,
00:18:19.98\00:18:24.04
or actually IS breaking
that cognitive distortion
00:18:24.07\00:18:27.76
Actually, we have much
better relationships when people
00:18:27.79\00:18:31.30
do know the real us...
00:18:31.33\00:18:32.46
And it's only when we try to
cover... that we get ourselves
00:18:32.49\00:18:35.63
into trouble...
That's right, because
00:18:35.66\00:18:37.90
really, our relationships
of love and intimacy
00:18:37.93\00:18:40.80
shouldn't be based on
how good I am at ANYTHING
00:18:40.83\00:18:44.42
it's just that I'm a person,
and can receive and return
00:18:44.43\00:18:49.19
that love... Absolutely
00:18:49.22\00:18:51.01
So the next one...
00:18:51.04\00:18:52.51
The next one...
Distortion #5... Mind-reading
00:18:52.54\00:18:56.95
That distortion comes
under a category called...
00:18:56.98\00:18:59.52
"Jumping to conclusions"
00:18:59.55\00:19:00.89
Ohhh... we can be good at that,
00:19:00.92\00:19:02.18
especially in
marriages, can't we?
00:19:02.21\00:19:04.16
We just feel like we KNOW what
the other person is thinking
00:19:04.19\00:19:06.52
That's the most common exercise
that the average American gets
00:19:06.55\00:19:11.43
It should be physical jumping,
but it's actually jumping to
00:19:11.46\00:19:14.26
CONCLUSIONS!
00:19:14.29\00:19:16.61
And how we do that and one
of the ways is mind-reading
00:19:16.64\00:19:19.62
and we ASSUME that we know
what that person is thinking
00:19:19.63\00:19:23.44
And this happened
in New York City...
00:19:23.47\00:19:25.24
We had the privilege of
going into New York City
00:19:25.27\00:19:27.79
after September 11...
00:19:27.82\00:19:28.82
We put on the first public
00:19:28.85\00:19:30.00
"Grief and depression
recovery Program" there
00:19:30.03\00:19:31.99
at the Midtown
Hilton in Manhattan
00:19:32.02\00:19:34.59
and we had the
people actually express...
00:19:34.62\00:19:36.97
This is a kind of another
program, but there was a lot of
00:19:37.00\00:19:39.09
grief and loss
occurring at that time
00:19:39.12\00:19:41.20
And it's actually better
often for people to write about
00:19:41.23\00:19:43.92
that loss, so that they
can log it and then go on
00:19:43.95\00:19:49.15
But when they
don't write about it...
00:19:49.18\00:19:51.04
they think they're going
to miss an important part
00:19:51.07\00:19:53.32
in the past, or
whatever, and they're
00:19:53.35\00:19:54.93
continuing to dwell on it...
00:19:54.96\00:19:56.21
So we had them write
about some of their experiences
00:19:56.24\00:19:58.82
and what was happening
00:19:58.83\00:20:00.03
And one of the ladies
actually wrote about how she
00:20:00.06\00:20:04.33
met a person, a good
friend of hers on the street
00:20:04.36\00:20:08.37
He passed her up,
looked her straight in the eye,
00:20:08.40\00:20:10.51
didn't say
"hello" didn't say "hi"
00:20:10.54\00:20:12.50
and just kept on walking
00:20:12.53\00:20:14.34
And she said, this is what's
happened to people in N.Y.
00:20:14.37\00:20:17.55
They are just NOT normal anymore
00:20:17.58\00:20:22.24
And this is how bad
things have gotten...
00:20:22.27\00:20:24.63
Well, she was already
planning on how she was going to
00:20:24.66\00:20:27.35
retaliate against this
person when she met him again
00:20:27.38\00:20:30.61
for how he
treated her on the street.
00:20:30.62\00:20:32.91
Well, I don't know if
you've ever been to N.Y.C,
00:20:32.94\00:20:34.90
Rise, but... twice, but
I call it sensory overload
00:20:34.93\00:20:39.40
when I walking
down the streets of N.Y.
00:20:39.43\00:20:41.69
There's a part of me that
likes it because I love people,
00:20:41.72\00:20:43.46
and I'm just like...
Yeah, all the ENERGY!
00:20:43.49\00:20:45.33
But then when I leave there,
I'm glad I don't live there.
00:20:45.36\00:20:48.76
So, we asked her
to check it out...
00:20:48.79\00:20:50.87
We said, "You need
to check this out...
00:20:50.90\00:20:53.18
this could be mind-reading"
00:20:53.21\00:20:54.98
And so, she checked it
out, and sure enough...
00:20:55.01\00:20:57.09
He had had an
announcement at work...
00:20:57.12\00:20:58.87
He had never seen her that day.
00:20:58.88\00:21:01.48
He was thinking
about that announcement
00:21:01.51\00:21:03.38
And he wasn't even
really looking at anybody
00:21:03.41\00:21:07.55
So once she
found out about THAT,
00:21:07.58\00:21:09.17
and what had happened
to him, she was much more
00:21:09.20\00:21:11.09
understanding, and I'm
glad she didn't start out
00:21:11.12\00:21:13.29
with the retaliation component
00:21:13.32\00:21:14.96
because that could have affected
the relationship adversely.
00:21:14.99\00:21:17.99
And so, that's an
example of mind-reading
00:21:18.02\00:21:20.03
So communication seems to
be such a key in preventing
00:21:20.06\00:21:23.66
that kind of distortional
thinking from coming up.
00:21:23.69\00:21:25.85
I know, sometimes,
even with my husband,
00:21:25.88\00:21:27.45
he can be REALLY
focused on something...
00:21:27.48\00:21:29.52
and I think, "Oh, I've
been trying to talk to him...
00:21:29.55\00:21:31.88
he's not interested
in what I have to say"
00:21:31.91\00:21:33.82
and after when I try
to communicate, I realize
00:21:33.85\00:21:36.96
what's REALLY
taking place in his mind
00:21:36.99\00:21:38.69
and then I don't have
to take it so personally,
00:21:38.72\00:21:40.65
and feel offended and
hurt.. Yeah, absolutely
00:21:40.68\00:21:42.96
And then you realize he truly
is interested in you as well
00:21:42.99\00:21:46.39
The 6th one is
"fortune teller error"
00:21:46.42\00:21:50.34
This is in people
with panic disorder
00:21:50.37\00:21:53.85
have fortune teller error
00:21:53.88\00:21:55.10
They will tell me that
when they are feeling that way,
00:21:55.13\00:21:57.74
they're either going to
pass out or go crazy... Hmmm
00:21:57.77\00:22:00.32
And I'll say, "Well how
many times has this happened?"
00:22:00.35\00:22:02.47
"Oh, many times, Dr. Nedley"
00:22:02.50\00:22:04.45
How many times have you passed
out when you felt this way? None
00:22:04.48\00:22:08.04
How many times
have you gone crazy?
00:22:08.07\00:22:11.07
"Well, I really
haven't gone crazy"
00:22:11.10\00:22:13.07
And so then I'll say...
00:22:13.10\00:22:14.52
"Well then, obviously,
that's not a true thought...
00:22:14.55\00:22:16.50
to say that you're going to
either pass out or go crazy"
00:22:16.53\00:22:19.42
You need to replace that
thought with what is true...
00:22:19.45\00:22:22.07
Let's
accurately describe this...
00:22:22.10\00:22:23.89
And as they more
accurately describe it,
00:22:23.92\00:22:25.85
it actually HELPS
the panic disorder...
00:22:25.88\00:22:27.81
Cognitive behavioral therapy
is one of the things that
00:22:27.84\00:22:29.78
helps panic disorder
00:22:29.81\00:22:31.85
Fortune teller error is
also assuming that if you do
00:22:31.88\00:22:35.35
something... for
instance, you leave a message
00:22:35.38\00:22:36.93
on someone's machine...
tell them to get back with you
00:22:36.96\00:22:38.86
...they don't get back with you,
00:22:38.89\00:22:39.90
you think about calling
him again, but you think...
00:22:39.93\00:22:41.80
"Well, they weren't interested,
and they're just going to
00:22:41.83\00:22:45.88
think I'm obnoxious"...
that's the fortune teller error
00:22:45.91\00:22:48.79
"They're going to
THINK I'm obnoxious,
00:22:48.80\00:22:51.00
so I won't call them back"
00:22:51.04\00:22:52.08
And then 2 weeks
later, you find out that his
00:22:52.11\00:22:53.68
answering
machine wasn't working,
00:22:53.71\00:22:55.25
and he never got the message
00:22:55.28\00:22:56.37
...And it would have been
helpful for you to call back
00:22:56.40\00:22:58.78
And so, that's a
fortune teller error
00:22:58.81\00:23:00.58
Another example of
a fortune teller error
00:23:00.59\00:23:02.24
is suicidal thoughts.
00:23:02.25\00:23:03.45
People who are suicidal
think they know more about
00:23:03.48\00:23:05.82
their future than God does...
00:23:05.85\00:23:07.56
And they DON'T... they
think they know their future
00:23:07.59\00:23:10.55
but they have the
fortune teller error
00:23:10.58\00:23:12.61
and it's very important
for suicidal patients to
00:23:12.64\00:23:14.88
understand this
cognitive distortion
00:23:14.89\00:23:16.68
because it will clear
their suicidal thoughts once
00:23:16.71\00:23:19.79
they think accurately
00:23:19.82\00:23:21.35
So they start
predicting a future event
00:23:21.38\00:23:23.91
and assume that is their
reality... That's right, yes
00:23:23.92\00:23:27.14
And don't see any other options
out there... That's right
00:23:27.17\00:23:30.74
In fact, that's one
of the things that this
00:23:30.77\00:23:32.17
Depression Recovery
Program is very helpful in...
00:23:32.20\00:23:34.68
is helping people that
have had those suicidal thoughts
00:23:34.71\00:23:37.85
or currently
toying with the fact
00:23:37.88\00:23:39.82
because this
will bring them hope
00:23:39.84\00:23:41.96
They'll realize there
are all sorts of modalities
00:23:41.97\00:23:44.54
they had never any clue of
that can help them significantly
00:23:44.57\00:23:48.41
and improve their
life from hereon out.
00:23:48.44\00:23:50.20
I think that that can
be the greatest benefit
00:23:50.23\00:23:53.96
in facing any one of our
distortional thought patterns
00:23:53.99\00:23:58.03
and that is HOPE or FAITH
00:23:58.06\00:24:00.05
and BELIEVING that
something positive can actually
00:24:00.06\00:24:03.38
be out there...
00:24:03.41\00:24:04.73
You know, maybe
this person ignored me...
00:24:04.76\00:24:07.00
but well maybe he had a reason
00:24:07.03\00:24:09.18
There might have
been something positive
00:24:09.21\00:24:11.12
that was taking place
in relation to myself,
00:24:11.15\00:24:13.17
rather than always negative...
Exactly, yeah, very important
00:24:13.20\00:24:16.82
The 7th cognitive distortion is
"magnification or minimization"
00:24:16.85\00:24:21.44
This is where we get
things out of proportion
00:24:21.47\00:24:24.64
People that use,
what I call the "HTAs"...
00:24:24.67\00:24:27.99
...the horrible,
terrible, awfuls... Oh yeah!
00:24:28.02\00:24:31.66
That is magnification
00:24:31.69\00:24:33.85
And, often
they'll use these terms in
00:24:33.88\00:24:36.57
everyday negative events
00:24:36.60\00:24:38.02
It sounds SO GOOD.. you're
really describing the event!
00:24:38.05\00:24:40.68
...HORRIBLE, AWFUL Yeah!
00:24:40.71\00:24:42.81
But that actually has
an impact on the brain
00:24:42.84\00:24:46.31
...On that own
individual's brain,
00:24:46.34\00:24:48.40
as well as impacting others
00:24:48.43\00:24:49.79
So the expression deepens the
negative impression... Exactly
00:24:49.82\00:24:53.50
And it's good to
utilize the correct terms..
00:24:53.53\00:24:56.42
It may have been
an inconvenience...
00:24:56.45\00:24:57.74
It may have been something
that the person didn't prefer
00:24:57.77\00:25:00.12
But, you know, let's
use those terms accurately
00:25:00.15\00:25:03.28
And when people start
getting into curse words...
00:25:03.31\00:25:06.19
that's even a worse
magnification or minimization
00:25:06.22\00:25:10.28
If you notice the curse
words and how they are used,
00:25:10.31\00:25:13.15
they're WAY OFF the scale
in regards to what actually
00:25:13.18\00:25:16.46
took place
00:25:16.49\00:25:17.49
And my father,
although he probably didn't know
00:25:17.52\00:25:20.31
cognitive behavioral therapy,
or the 10 cognitive distortions,
00:25:20.34\00:25:23.71
he taught me growing up...
00:25:23.74\00:25:24.76
He said, "Anyone who uses
curse words... it's a sign of
00:25:24.79\00:25:27.75
a limited vocabulary"
00:25:27.76\00:25:30.65
And actually, it is
limited, because they are not
00:25:30.66\00:25:33.39
accurately
describing things well at all.
00:25:33.42\00:25:36.44
And so, even my own
children, I've had to teach them
00:25:36.47\00:25:41.95
...People with magnification
or minimization also have
00:25:41.98\00:25:45.25
low frustration tolerance...
00:25:45.28\00:25:46.94
That's a key of breaking
that 7th cognitive distortion...
00:25:46.97\00:25:50.37
We call it... "LFT"
00:25:50.40\00:25:51.69
And the ability to tolerate
the everyday frustrations
00:25:51.72\00:25:55.80
of life is really
due to breaking the 7th
00:25:55.83\00:25:59.93
cognitive distortion
00:25:59.96\00:26:01.41
And recently they
were out on the ball field
00:26:01.44\00:26:03.24
and had their
emotions get out of control
00:26:03.27\00:26:07.55
and I didn't let them
leave that ball field until they
00:26:07.56\00:26:09.89
sang a song that
said, "I-don't-like-it,
00:26:09.92\00:26:14.09
I- don't-like-it... It's-okay,
it's-okay... na-na-na-na-na-na
00:26:14.12\00:26:16.84
I- can-stand-it-anyway...
00:26:16.87\00:26:20.88
I'm-all-right, I'm-all-right"
00:26:20.91\00:26:22.32
It took them a while
to learn it because their
00:26:22.35\00:26:23.56
emotions were out of control,
00:26:23.57\00:26:25.21
but when they learned that,
00:26:25.24\00:26:27.18
it was helpful for them
to realize there are things
00:26:27.21\00:26:30.35
that we don't prefer
happen, but we CAN stand it
00:26:30.38\00:26:34.56
...and when we tell
ourselves we CAN'T stand it
00:26:34.59\00:26:36.79
which isn't really true, we get
ourselves into deeper problems
00:26:36.82\00:26:40.27
It's probably
just communicating...
00:26:40.28\00:26:41.28
rather than saying...
"bleepity-bleep-bleep"
00:26:41.32\00:26:43.05
just saying, "I'm disturbed...
That disturbed me deeply
00:26:43.08\00:26:45.18
because
such-and-such took place"
00:26:45.21\00:26:49.14
That at least gives
us an outlet Right...
00:26:49.17\00:26:51.58
Sometimes I think
people use the curse words
00:26:51.59\00:26:53.02
just so they can
express their frustration
00:26:53.03\00:26:55.19
but there are other ways
and I think you taught your boys
00:26:55.22\00:26:57.47
They would be much more
effective if they described it
00:26:57.48\00:26:59.32
accurately
00:26:59.35\00:27:00.48
The 8th one is
"emotional reasoning"
00:27:00.51\00:27:02.45
Emotional
reasoning goes like this...
00:27:02.48\00:27:04.14
"I feel like a dud,
therefore, I am a dud"
00:27:04.17\00:27:06.46
Procrastinators have
emotional reasoning...
00:27:06.49\00:27:08.36
"I don't feel lie doing anything
right now... so I won't"
00:27:08.39\00:27:10.99
And so, we need to recognize
00:27:11.02\00:27:13.28
feelings come and feelings go
00:27:13.31\00:27:14.75
Feelings are deceiving! Yes!
00:27:14.78\00:27:16.73
And so, that's the answer
to the 8th cognitive distortion
00:27:16.76\00:27:21.41
And the 9th cognitive distortion
"labeling or mislabeling"
00:27:21.44\00:27:24.41
This is when we use terms
for ourselves, or for others
00:27:24.44\00:27:27.39
that are not really accurate
and can get us out of control
00:27:27.42\00:27:30.87
We've had people with
obesity label themselves as pigs
00:27:30.90\00:27:34.08
and then go into the
refrigerator and eat the
00:27:34.11\00:27:36.03
whole half-gallon of ice cream!
00:27:36.06\00:27:38.25
And so, that's not helpful.
00:27:38.28\00:27:40.08
"Personalization"
is the last one.
00:27:40.11\00:27:42.36
...And that's where we
confuse INFLUENCE with CONTROL
00:27:42.39\00:27:45.54
And we think we have control...
00:27:45.57\00:27:47.20
But we really have
influence, and we can really
00:27:47.23\00:27:49.39
get that out of proportion.
00:27:49.42\00:27:51.58
Thank you, Dr. Nedley,
again for a wonderful program...
00:27:51.61\00:27:53.85
My pleasure, Rise!
00:27:53.88\00:27:55.49
You know, the Bible says that...
00:27:55.52\00:27:56.63
"As a man thinks in
his heart, so is he"
00:27:56.66\00:27:59.27
And I hope that today's
program will help you not only
00:27:59.30\00:28:01.95
in maybe identifying some
distortional thought patterns
00:28:01.98\00:28:04.75
you might have,
but also in finding
00:28:04.78\00:28:07.10
the truth that
will set you free...
00:28:07.13\00:28:09.50
I'm so glad you joined us today!
00:28:09.53\00:28:10.85
Until next time...
00:28:10.86\00:28:11.86