Welcome to this
exciting rendition of Up Close
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Today we are in Wichita Kansas,
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coming to you from the Three
Angels 7th Day Adventist church.
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And we so happy to have you with
us, as well as our live audience
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joining us today.
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Today we'll be
talking about one of the most
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feared and misunderstood
words in the English language:
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Change!
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Change of bad habits,
laziness, procrastination,
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poor communication and
emotional entanglements.
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Many people sense
their need to change
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certain aspects of their life,
such as overcoming and addiction
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making a positive dietary change
beginning a physical exercise
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program that will
make them fit and robust,
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getting more sleep, taking
more time to study the Bible or
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making more quality time
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available for
important family relationships.
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Today we have the privilege
of learning from two experts
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on the process of
successful change.
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Kelly Dulac and Dr. Neal Nedley.
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We will also be
talking with someone who has
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undergone dramatic
beneficial changes in her life,
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changes the she would
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have thought impossible
just a few months ago.
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Do you know someone in
your life that needs to change?
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Could that someone be
you? Or someone you love?
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If so, this program
is especially for you.
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Maybe you know someone
who doesn't even realize
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their need of change.
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How can they undergo
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the first step of
sensing their need of change?
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Or maybe they realize their need
to change and have tried hard
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but, have not met
with lasting success
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and have succumbed
to the previous habits.
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This program is filled with
great news, and great stories.
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The process of
successful and lasting change!
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Our first guest, Zulan Collis
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is a prosecuting attorney
from Brooklyn, New York.
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On the surface Zulan
was the picture of success,
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having a
coveted professional job
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in the largest city
in the United States.
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However, beneath it all, Zulan
Collis suffered from depression,
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had a history of
failed personal relationships,
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and was addicted
to harmful substances.
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After years of depressions
things were getting to,
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to be to much for her
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and lets listen to what she
told us a little bit earlier.
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Within the past 2
years, it has gotten worst,
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got to be terrible bad
and got to be at some points
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where I wouldn't even get
out of bed, sometimes, for work.
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I don't remember lot of it,
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you know one of the
symptoms of depression
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is memory loss, but I
used to keep a journal.
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I kept a journal.
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I remember reading back,
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being surprised at
myself going weeks at a time,
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2 weeks period
missing 4 or 5 days of work,
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not being able
to get out of bed,
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not doing anything just
kind of sleeping the day away.
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My work suffered, because of it.
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My personal life,
I didn't have much of
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I had a social life.
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One of the things
that I did to kind of
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substitute the feelings
of emptiness and loneliness,
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or sadness or
whatever you want to call it,
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just filling my life
with things like alcohol,
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going out to bars, drinking
excessive amounts of alcohol
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taking drugs, using
drugs, smoking cigarettes,
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many other things that
attempt to fill that emptiness
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When that stopped,
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when I stopped
socializing 4 or 5 times a week
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I just found that there was
no where to go, it was kind of:
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What next?
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Then it got to be terribly,
most recently, just terribly bad
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I mean I can't explain, it is
difficult for me to articulate
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I can say bad, but it is
a tough think to explain.
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Just a feeling of a...
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I want to say there're feelings
but so many non feelings too,
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but I got to the point where I
was really desperate one day and
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I called my mother.
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I didn't want to talk to anyone
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I just felt like, life
was too much for me to live
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and I didn't want
to live it anymore.
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I am not a person to
communicate my feelings,
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I don't share things with anyone
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my family will
tell you, my friends
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I wear this mask
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when I go home is
something completely different.
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For some reason I
picked up the phone that day
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and called my
mother, she was at work,
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and I just started sobbing
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uncontrollably, I
couldn't stop myself
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I didn't want to live anymore,
and I shared that with her and
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she knew that something had to
be done, and she called me back
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she tried to get me through,
she prayed for me at the phone,
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she got me to pray with her,
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I kept saying to
her, and she said:
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"Zulan you have to have
faith, you have to have faith"
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and I said:" I don't
have faith, I don't have any
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faith in anything."
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Have you ever been there?
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Can you identify with any
of what Zulan was sharing?
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Really, a touching
picture of someone that is
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really in trouble.
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Well we are glad that
Zulan Collis made it through
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that particular situation
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she is here with us,
actually at this program,
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so we want to welcome
Zulan Collis at the program.
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Welcome!
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We are really glad that you
made it through that evening
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Thank you!
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And it is good to have
mothers to call, isn't it?
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It is!
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And your mother sounds
like she is a person of faith.
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She is!
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She is actually
brought me through a lot,
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and I have learned
from her a great deal
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And she is that final call,
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or was she the
first call that you make?
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I guess it is one and
the same, I don't know,
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but for that particular
moment it was the only call.
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Well you know I am
glad she was there,
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and for so many people that
is true, the mother is there.
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What did she said
to you when you called?
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I mean you were telling,
your pouring your heart out,
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and you were sobbing
but then what did she say?
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She tried to get me to, I guess,
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articulate or tell her about
what it was that I was feeling
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and I couldn't do
that, I was too busy sobbing
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and she said: "It
is going to be ok",
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and she prayed
for me on the phone
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and when I told her
that I didn't have faith,
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she tried to explain
to me, what faith was
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and took me through that,
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and you know just told me
the hold on, that it will be ok.
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Did she
recommended anything else?
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She had me repeat
certain prayers with her,
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I don't remember them now,
it's a complete blank to me, but
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I did repeat those
prayers with her over the phone,
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and at some points, for a moment
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I could tell that it was just
a little better but not really.
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So it was kind of
like she was saying this
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and seemed to be
something important to her
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but it wasn't working for you?
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It was not.
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You ended up at
the Lifestyle Center.
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How did you even
hear about the place?
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I didn't, again,
that was my mother,
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and I just recently
found out how she actually
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found the place.
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She is a member of
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the Chip program at her
Seventh Day Adventist Church
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and she'd gone to a convention
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in Vancouver last November,
she just told me this recently
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she'd seen some books,
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and two of the books that
she'd seen, she written down
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and two of the books
were: "Proof positive" and
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"Depression the way
out", by doctor Neal Nedley.
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She put that aside.
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All her materials from
the convention she put aside
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this is a women who moved,
since moved all this things
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but she had this package in
her drawer, in the new house.
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She said, she went
home immediately that day,
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and something just told her
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she wasn't even thinking about
those materials in particular,
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she said to me, but
she went to that drawer
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she opened the folder and in
all this materials that she saw,
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the name, and the books,
Dr Nedley's name stood out.
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She went on to the internet and
did a Google search of Dr Nedley
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- Good old Google!
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And found the Lifestyle Center
of America, and discovered,
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they were running a
program on depression,
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just three weeks from
the time that we'd spoken.
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What were some of the
things that began to make a
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change in your life?
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I guess that is kind of
ahead at where we want to be
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Did you wanted to go
to the Lifestyle Center,
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when you got there to do,
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feel like aha, this is
the right one baby, aha.
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No, no, not at all.
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Actually it was up
until the day I was leaving,
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was schedule to
leave, I didn't want to go
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I just felt like I
was a robot at that point,
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I was doing, I was
doing, I was doing,
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but I did not want to
go and tackle and deal with
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you know... this
thing, this depression,
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this things that had
been weighing me down.
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The things that
needed to be changed.
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They were related to that.
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We want to
listen to what happened,
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some of the things that
begin to happen in Zulans life,
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that led to some changes.
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I mean both Kelly and Dr
Nedley kind of showed me that,
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not only could I change
the way I felt, and was feeling
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but showed me how to change
that and that was important
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and so I learned that because
I suffered from depression
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I engaged in
these kinds of thoughts,
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this distorted thoughts
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you know my brain
wasn't functioning optimally,
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because I wasn't treating
my body, in the right way
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and when I realized that
my brain wasn't functioning
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correctly and as a result,
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I engaged in certain
kinds of thought processes
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or certain kinds of thoughts.
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And then I was told that,
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I can change this
thoughts, and that was obviously
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Once I began to
change my thoughts,
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and the emotions that I suffered
as a result, were changed.
00:11:09.67\00:11:13.37
Kelly actually had
this no nonsense approach
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Therapist and therapy,
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I can remember
sitting across from someone
00:11:21.75\00:11:25.39
I liked my therapist,
she was a wonderful person
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she helped me
understand why I behaved
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the way I behaved because
of certain events in my life
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and that was helpful.
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But at a point it
stops being helpful,
00:11:35.55\00:11:37.61
you hit this
block, you can't get past
00:11:37.64\00:11:40.47
and with Kelly, helped me
to see was that, you know what,
00:11:40.70\00:11:45.61
yes you did suffer this things,
00:11:45.64\00:11:47.07
these things happened in
your life, and they're terrible
00:11:47.10\00:11:50.58
and you feel pain
because of it, but no more.
00:11:50.61\00:11:52.98
You can not,
00:11:53.01\00:11:57.36
allow yourself to engage in
the same patterns of behavior
00:11:57.39\00:12:01.36
because of those painful things
00:12:01.54\00:12:03.59
or painful events in your life
00:12:03.62\00:12:04.85
Stop it, say no to it
00:12:04.88\00:12:10.60
You can control the
way you behave certainly,
00:12:12.28\00:12:15.47
and you can not
engage in these patterns.
00:12:16.38\00:12:21.60
Once that you recognize,
that your brain doesn't function
00:12:24.51\00:12:28.26
the way is supposed to,
00:12:28.29\00:12:29.56
and once you
recognize that your thoughts,
00:12:29.59\00:12:31.54
are not true thoughts,
but are distorted thoughts
00:12:31.57\00:12:35.13
then you begin to question.
00:12:35.16\00:12:37.34
Ok well, if I am
thinking or feeling this way
00:12:37.37\00:12:40.05
why am I feeling it?
00:12:40.08\00:12:41.52
If I am feeling
guilty, if I am feeling shame,
00:12:41.55\00:12:43.59
if am feeling bitter or angry
why am I feeling this anger?
00:12:43.62\00:12:47.53
Whatever that perception is,
00:12:47.56\00:12:49.40
whatever has caused
you to feel that anger
00:12:49.43\00:12:51.49
than you begin to question
00:12:51.52\00:12:52.73
so you begin to
challenge your own thoughts
00:12:52.76\00:12:55.32
and this is what you have to do.
00:12:55.35\00:12:56.95
You are not a slave to your
thoughts, I mean I can't be,
00:12:56.98\00:12:59.66
I can't afford to be
a slave to my thoughts
00:12:59.69\00:13:01.19
because my thoughts only lead
me to a place that causes me
00:13:01.22\00:13:04.99
to feel, suffer depression.
00:13:05.02\00:13:08.36
I have to always question
00:13:08.39\00:13:09.93
what I am thinking,
and why I am thinking it,
00:13:09.96\00:13:12.07
and hopefully you begin
to feel better feelings.
00:13:12.83\00:13:18.98
You replace your unhealthy
thoughts with good thoughts,
00:13:19.02\00:13:22.45
and eventually, you no
longer acting automatically,
00:13:22.48\00:13:26.81
based on that unhealthy thoughts
00:13:26.84\00:13:28.62
but those unhealthy emotions
will be replaced by healthy
00:13:28.65\00:13:30.94
emotions and that was
where Kelly was helpful.
00:13:30.97\00:13:34.97
I wish I could
articulated better than that,
00:13:39.28\00:13:41.50
she helped me, she empowered me,
00:13:41.53\00:13:44.52
that what was really most
satisfying about the program
00:13:44.55\00:13:48.35
and Dr. Nedley and Kelly,
and the entire thing was that
00:13:48.38\00:13:51.55
I feel empowered to
make a change in my life.
00:13:51.58\00:13:54.81
You were saying there,
00:13:57.07\00:13:58.30
that really emotions
and feelings follow thoughts
00:13:58.33\00:14:01.90
and you are able to
choose those thoughts.
00:14:02.22\00:14:05.49
Absolutely!
00:14:05.83\00:14:06.80
The choice is with us,
and within us, and once
00:14:07.27\00:14:09.90
we have the power to make that
decision, to make that choice.
00:14:09.93\00:14:13.29
And this was something new
to you after you met Kelly?
00:14:13.32\00:14:16.43
Yes. Absolutely
00:14:16.46\00:14:18.33
I mean you can hear the words
all the time choose, choice,
00:14:18.37\00:14:21.74
but you don't
understand what it means
00:14:21.77\00:14:23.50
and what it can mean in
your life and to you personally.
00:14:23.53\00:14:26.12
Kelly told me before,
she said that, when you,
00:14:26.15\00:14:29.14
first met one another she didn't
really know how to relate.
00:14:29.17\00:14:32.63
I guess she came with
some room service one day.
00:14:32.70\00:14:35.29
It was more
then a room services.
00:14:35.32\00:14:39.89
I guess it was the second night,
00:14:41.44\00:14:44.17
that I was at
the Lifestyle Center,
00:14:44.20\00:14:45.95
as I told you, I
didn't want to be there
00:14:45.99\00:14:48.01
didn't want to
engage in this process.
00:14:48.04\00:14:50.75
And I was supposed to be in the
lecture and people were speaking
00:14:52.74\00:14:56.27
and I was so angry, I sat there,
and people were saying things
00:14:56.30\00:14:59.78
and I was like,
Ah I can't take this!
00:14:59.81\00:15:01.41
I don't want to be
here, so I left the lecture
00:15:01.44\00:15:03.07
I went up to my room, the
room was dark, I don't remember
00:15:03.10\00:15:07.48
Kelly came and there
was a knock at the door
00:15:11.33\00:15:14.52
it was Kelly and Dr. Nedley.
00:15:14.96\00:15:17.11
Most unexpected guests,
00:15:18.75\00:15:20.22
I mean I didn't called them
up, I hadn't ordered anything,
00:15:20.25\00:15:23.95
and they sat across of me
00:15:25.82\00:15:27.54
and I guess Dr Nedley had spoken
at the lecture which I missed,
00:15:27.57\00:15:31.13
so he summarized some of what he
talked about and Kelly asked...
00:15:31.16\00:15:33.62
No, when they
where ready to leave
00:15:33.65\00:15:37.36
Dr. Nedley left and Kelly
asked to stay a little bit,
00:15:38.14\00:15:40.70
and she actually...
Kelly actually stayed with me.
00:15:40.80\00:15:46.24
I guess that was the
moment where I really, I just,
00:15:47.46\00:15:50.52
I knew then I was
there for a reason,
00:15:50.55\00:15:55.00
what she said to me, was:
00:15:55.04\00:15:57.95
"I can tell that you are in a
lot of pain", and she said this
00:15:59.96\00:16:02.87
I mean she was very sincere
and I looked into her eyes
00:16:02.90\00:16:05.16
and just looked at
her and I wanted to be...
00:16:05.19\00:16:07.32
- Dismissive! - I really did
00:16:07.64\00:16:09.75
I was still hanging to
that little bit of anger,
00:16:09.78\00:16:11.54
and I just really:
"No lady you don't!"
00:16:11.57\00:16:14.45
But somehow something inside me
00:16:15.71\00:16:17.33
I guess that was the
first moment that I realized
00:16:17.36\00:16:20.02
that I was supposed to
be where I was at Lifestyle,
00:16:20.05\00:16:22.30
for a particular purpose.
00:16:22.33\00:16:23.82
Now we've talked
about thoughts and emotions,
00:16:23.86\00:16:27.23
but did you make
any physical changes?
00:16:27.26\00:16:30.18
Oh absolutely, physically
00:16:30.24\00:16:34.05
Like lifestyle changes.
00:16:34.09\00:16:35.59
Absolutely the way I ate,
I mean the life styles that
00:16:35.76\00:16:38.39
are there the entire thing I
never eaten like that before.
00:16:38.42\00:16:41.65
That was
tremendous. I mean, no meat?
00:16:46.23\00:16:49.82
Just plant based
diet, it was essential.
00:16:49.85\00:16:53.93
And they explained why
that was and everything
00:16:53.96\00:16:56.36
Yes, Dr Nedley did, and once
you understood why that was,
00:16:56.39\00:16:59.81
it was easier to engage in
it, It was easier to do it.
00:16:59.84\00:17:02.62
Understanding is really
important to making the change
00:17:02.65\00:17:06.38
In the rest of our program we'll
try to understand more about
00:17:06.76\00:17:09.36
the process of change,
00:17:09.39\00:17:10.72
and how you can make
things happen in your life.
00:17:10.75\00:17:13.51
With us we have two
experts on this subject,
00:17:13.54\00:17:16.29
Kelly Dulac and Dr. Neal Nedley,
00:17:16.32\00:17:19.26
so stay with us
we'll be right back.
00:17:19.29\00:17:21.87
We're going to be
discussing, a struggle
00:17:28.86\00:17:30.36
that many of you, are probably
going through right now.
00:17:30.39\00:17:34.09
Our topic is:
Facing the Tough Times
00:17:34.13\00:17:37.33
Dr. Wilkens
remembers the day his son left,
00:17:37.57\00:17:40.91
and here is
what's happened next...
00:17:40.94\00:17:44.10
At that moment,
00:17:44.13\00:17:45.31
is sort of like being
stunned with the electric prod.
00:17:45.34\00:17:48.09
It's incomprehensible moment.
00:17:48.12\00:17:50.86
I'm telling you that if we look,
00:17:50.89\00:17:52.88
we will find the divine
providences, of God working.
00:17:52.91\00:17:56.45
Next week at Up Close
00:17:56.48\00:17:58.00
Facing the Tough
Times, Don't miss it!
00:17:58.03\00:18:00.86
Welcome back to Up Close
00:18:14.47\00:18:15.97
I am excited to introduce
our expert guests for today,
00:18:16.00\00:18:18.61
Kelly Dulac and Dr. Neal Nedley.
00:18:18.66\00:18:20.80
Kelly Dulac is a clinical
psychologist who practices
00:18:20.84\00:18:23.60
at The Lifestyle Center
at Monotmorelios University
00:18:23.63\00:18:26.11
in Mexico.
00:18:26.14\00:18:27.11
She has helped many clients
overcome powerful addictions,
00:18:27.49\00:18:30.84
and incorporate new
healthy, lifestyle habits.
00:18:31.15\00:18:33.66
As for Dr. Nedley,
00:18:33.81\00:18:35.61
he is an internal medicine
physician in Ardmore, Oklahoma.
00:18:35.64\00:18:39.56
He has helped many of
his patients incorporate
00:18:39.60\00:18:41.95
new healthy habits, as
well as eliminating bad ones.
00:18:41.98\00:18:45.32
He is the author of two books:
00:18:45.35\00:18:47.23
"Proof positive" and
"Depression: The Way Out"
00:18:47.26\00:18:50.92
And has been at
numerous programs at 3ABN.
00:18:50.95\00:18:54.43
So please welcome Kelly
Dulac and Dr. Nedley, with me.
00:18:54.55\00:18:58.91
You know we've just been
watching, some clips from Zulan,
00:19:07.43\00:19:11.59
and I know that
both of you met her
00:19:11.62\00:19:14.03
and got to know her
there, at the Lifestyle Center.
00:19:14.06\00:19:17.90
Tell me a little bit about,
what you were doing there,
00:19:17.94\00:19:21.66
and about your
interaction with Zulan.
00:19:21.69\00:19:25.31
Well it was interesting?
00:19:29.42\00:19:30.70
She said about the first
meeting that we had that night,
00:19:30.73\00:19:33.47
the next morning she was
having breakfast with us and
00:19:33.50\00:19:37.46
I went to her with breakfast
and I said:" Room service"
00:19:37.50\00:19:41.82
and she opened the door,
and she said:" I am not hungry"
00:19:42.00\00:19:45.98
"I am on the phone"
00:19:46.01\00:19:47.31
She really didn't want
to talk to me, but I said
00:19:48.47\00:19:53.62
I will wait.
00:19:53.65\00:19:54.79
She said, when
she was at the door:
00:19:57.27\00:19:58.90
"I don't want to talk
to you, I am on the phone."
00:19:58.93\00:20:00.91
Right, and I
said: "I will wait!"
00:20:00.94\00:20:03.53
and she led me in and
I knew she was suffering
00:20:03.98\00:20:07.66
and I knew that she really was
in a spot that she needed help
00:20:07.69\00:20:11.70
and we started to talk, and
she started to cry and said:
00:20:11.73\00:20:15.31
"I can not do this, I
don't think I can do this."
00:20:15.34\00:20:18.13
And I knew it at that time
that definitely she can do it!
00:20:18.26\00:20:23.19
I know that everybody can do it!
00:20:23.22\00:20:25.85
Yeah, well I noticed as we were
listening to her on the clips,
00:20:25.89\00:20:29.32
and I also talked
with her she said,
00:20:29.35\00:20:31.49
You know Kelly really
helped me, with some thoughts
00:20:31.52\00:20:33.85
and this and that and she said:
"I can't really describe it!"
00:20:33.88\00:20:36.52
So now you are
here, you describe,
00:20:36.56\00:20:38.18
what did you do to help her?
00:20:38.21\00:20:39.93
Do you want me to start all the
concept and everything that I...
00:20:41.57\00:20:46.95
Yeah! Start somewhere.
00:20:46.98\00:20:48.41
Yes.
00:20:49.12\00:20:50.14
Oh well, what I do, is
the basics and 4 concepts,
00:20:51.68\00:20:55.97
very important concepts,
in this process of change
00:20:56.00\00:20:59.36
The first concept is
everything that we have,
00:21:00.45\00:21:03.57
that we are, that we think,
that we feel, it's in our brain.
00:21:03.60\00:21:08.66
The brain is the most
complex and marvelous system
00:21:09.19\00:21:14.68
in the planet Earth,
00:21:14.71\00:21:16.21
and I will let you to explain
a little bit about the brain.
00:21:16.71\00:21:20.22
Well it is the
most complex structure
00:21:20.25\00:21:22.26
ever investigated by science,
00:21:22.29\00:21:23.82
it's more complicated
then the space shuttle,
00:21:23.85\00:21:26.06
100 trillion
synapses in the brain,
00:21:26.70\00:21:31.27
those are
connections between neurons
00:21:31.30\00:21:33.52
that makes the national debts
in minuscule, in comparison.
00:21:33.55\00:21:37.92
But it's just 2.5 pound
organ, and it has emotions
00:21:37.98\00:21:43.95
where we can feel, we
can generate thoughts,
00:21:43.98\00:21:47.62
there is memory involved,
00:21:47.65\00:21:49.07
and then what sets us
apart, from the rest of the
00:21:49.10\00:21:51.51
animal kingdom is the
frontal lobe size that we have.
00:21:51.54\00:21:55.66
33% up to 38% of the human
brain is in the frontal lobe,
00:21:55.85\00:22:00.19
and this is what gives
us the power to choose.
00:22:00.22\00:22:04.00
This is why we have
the freedom of choice,
00:22:04.10\00:22:07.40
and there is not really anyone
that can take that away from us.
00:22:07.43\00:22:11.11
Because the Lord created
us, with that freedom to choose
00:22:11.16\00:22:15.87
that will always be there,
00:22:15.90\00:22:17.25
so that is an
important concept to understand
00:22:17.29\00:22:21.29
when we are talking about change
00:22:21.32\00:22:23.14
because we have within us,
we have been created by God
00:22:23.18\00:22:27.02
to have the power to change,
and be empowered to do that.
00:22:27.05\00:22:30.60
When you say, this concept,
emotions are in the brain
00:22:30.74\00:22:33.67
What does that mean, is
that some kind of genetic thing?
00:22:33.70\00:22:36.54
Is that something
that we are exposed to,
00:22:36.57\00:22:39.57
Is that behavior, what
is that what is that mean?
00:22:39.60\00:22:41.57
Everything that we feel has to
do with chemicals in the brain
00:22:42.93\00:22:46.66
With the presence or absence
of chemicals in the brain
00:22:46.69\00:22:50.46
Years a ago psychology, was
studied just by observation,
00:22:50.87\00:22:55.63
now we can study all these
feelings in laboratories and
00:22:55.67\00:23:01.26
the amazing thing is that we
can do a lot to these chemicals.
00:23:01.29\00:23:07.11
We can do things
that we can create those
00:23:07.19\00:23:11.80
or we can help
these good chemicals,
00:23:11.83\00:23:14.64
or we can do things
that help the bad chemicals
00:23:14.67\00:23:18.23
or the chemicals that
are making us feel bad.
00:23:18.26\00:23:22.71
- And to have
distorted thoughts.
00:23:22.75\00:23:25.96
Yes, exactly.
00:23:25.99\00:23:27.18
It is very interesting,
00:23:27.87\00:23:29.63
we are walking with this
marvelous thing, you know here
00:23:29.66\00:23:34.35
we don't understand that
everything that we think,
00:23:34.39\00:23:38.27
and feel and desire and all our
motives energy comes from there.
00:23:38.30\00:23:44.15
And for me is the
most amazing thing,
00:23:44.18\00:23:46.51
that we want to be
happy, we want to have energy,
00:23:46.61\00:23:49.74
we want to be motivated, we want
to love, we want to be loved,
00:23:49.77\00:23:52.70
and we don't understand
where all that comes from.
00:23:52.73\00:23:56.89
Where is that at?
00:23:56.92\00:23:58.40
Like we have a pain in
the knee, it is from there,
00:23:58.44\00:24:04.83
or from the elbow we
can't even point it, right here
00:24:04.86\00:24:08.34
but when we don't feel good,
when it has to do with feelings
00:24:08.37\00:24:12.78
Where do we touch?
00:24:12.81\00:24:14.12
Where is it?
00:24:14.21\00:24:16.20
And because we can
not find, where it is,
00:24:16.30\00:24:19.98
or we can not see it,
we think that we are that,
00:24:20.01\00:24:24.96
that we don't have
the power to change,
00:24:25.00\00:24:27.41
that's what I said to Zulan
00:24:27.51\00:24:29.53
usually we say: "I am depressed"
00:24:30.34\00:24:32.30
I said what do you
mean, "I am depressed"?
00:24:32.33\00:24:33.82
You have depression!
00:24:33.86\00:24:34.95
When we have cancer we
don't say "I am cancer"!
00:24:34.98\00:24:39.48
We have cancer,
and we have addictions,
00:24:40.53\00:24:44.35
so we have all
these problems of behavior
00:24:44.38\00:24:47.38
it's we have the problem,
00:24:47.41\00:24:49.02
but because is connected
with behavior and feelings
00:24:49.05\00:24:52.26
we think that we are that.
00:24:52.29\00:24:54.75
So that concept is
good to understand,
00:24:55.08\00:24:57.39
once we understand that
there is maybe some hope
00:24:57.42\00:24:59.52
like Zulan said as well,
00:24:59.55\00:25:00.92
emotions are not just something
that we have to live with,
00:25:00.95\00:25:04.54
they are controllable.
00:25:04.57\00:25:06.19
Absolutely!
00:25:06.22\00:25:07.19
And that was a
huge paradigm for her,
00:25:07.20\00:25:08.18
one of the things you told
me before we came on, was that
00:25:08.21\00:25:10.70
we have a God given freedom
of choice, talk about that.
00:25:10.73\00:25:17.22
This is my second concept.
00:25:17.26\00:25:18.51
God gave us something that
nobody can take away from us,
00:25:18.54\00:25:21.71
Nobody!
00:25:21.74\00:25:22.81
Not even HIM, not
because He can not do it,
00:25:23.52\00:25:25.97
is because He chose not to do
it and is the freedom to choose.
00:25:26.00\00:25:30.25
Now start putting together
00:25:30.34\00:25:32.63
my feelings, or who
I am, it's in my brain,
00:25:32.66\00:25:37.41
it's in my brain, is
not in my husbands brain,
00:25:37.45\00:25:40.37
my neighbors brain,
and my feelings are not
00:25:40.40\00:25:43.17
in some other
place, it's in my brain,
00:25:43.20\00:25:45.72
and God gave me the freedom
to choose, and then goes on.
00:25:45.75\00:25:51.90
The third one
is, should I say it?
00:25:52.00\00:25:56.02
The third one is:
00:25:56.09\00:25:57.70
the circumstances can
not determine who I am,
00:25:57.73\00:26:01.61
and this is very important.
00:26:01.64\00:26:03.60
Since I was a child, I
really wanted to understand the
00:26:04.38\00:26:08.36
behavior why we do
this and why we do that,
00:26:09.37\00:26:11.90
and when I studied psychology
they gave me all explanations,
00:26:11.93\00:26:16.39
this person behaves like this
because of this and this and
00:26:16.42\00:26:18.64
this and this person
does certain whatever
00:26:18.67\00:26:23.23
because of this and
this and this, and this.
00:26:23.26\00:26:24.83
So they label you
when they also give you
00:26:24.86\00:26:27.28
all the reasons
why you are doing this.
00:26:27.31\00:26:29.68
But then I came in contact with
people, and I don't have time
00:26:29.82\00:26:35.02
to explain certain
examples that I always give.
00:26:35.05\00:26:39.57
They were this, then they have
nothing to do with the recent.
00:26:40.92\00:26:47.22
I'll give you a
really fast example:
00:26:48.35\00:26:50.22
A man that was
completely burned, I saw him,
00:26:50.25\00:26:53.90
and he was a wonderful person,
00:26:53.93\00:26:57.14
you know a really
happy, secure, outstanding man
00:26:57.18\00:27:01.97
For me he was supposed to be...
00:27:02.36\00:27:04.98
Depressed, angry because
he is burned and all that.
00:27:05.02\00:27:07.81
Absolutely!
00:27:07.84\00:27:08.81
We can give all
excuses to this man,
00:27:08.82\00:27:10.69
You know, he could have been
00:27:10.72\00:27:12.01
in alcohol, drugs and
depression and all that,
00:27:12.04\00:27:15.97
and this man said:
00:27:16.18\00:27:18.60
That my circumstances is not
going to determine, who I am.
00:27:18.63\00:27:23.90
That was shocking, it was my
first, encounter with reality,
00:27:23.93\00:27:28.33
that we have the
freedom to choose, regardless.
00:27:28.36\00:27:31.27
So when Zulan was saying in her,
the clip here, she was saying,
00:27:31.35\00:27:34.69
you know it is only
helpful to a point to figure out
00:27:34.72\00:27:37.80
why things are happening or
supposing what is causing that.
00:27:37.83\00:27:41.03
You can hear a
little bit of that
00:27:41.06\00:27:42.42
but then it is
not helpful anymore.
00:27:42.45\00:27:44.09
Is that what you are saying?
00:27:44.12\00:27:45.09
Absolutely!
00:27:45.10\00:27:46.07
She had to come to a
point, of a decision and said
00:27:46.78\00:27:51.49
I don't want to be that anymore!
00:27:51.52\00:27:53.29
Doesn't mean that the
things that happened in our life
00:27:53.32\00:27:57.51
or the circumstances,
doesn't give us the tendency.
00:27:57.54\00:28:00.05
Yes, it gives us the tendency.
00:28:00.09\00:28:02.11
But the tendency doesn't mean
I am going to go toward that.
00:28:02.27\00:28:07.10
It is a big difference.
00:28:07.59\00:28:09.17
So emotions are in the brain,
God has given us a freedom
00:28:09.20\00:28:12.39
of choice now talk
about that one more time,
00:28:12.42\00:28:14.21
because we did also
00:28:14.24\00:28:15.69
"circumstances are not
to determine who we are".
00:28:16.08\00:28:18.19
But go back to
that freedom again.
00:28:18.22\00:28:20.12
What is that freedom,
it's freedom for what?
00:28:20.15\00:28:23.70
That is a very good question.
00:28:26.59\00:28:28.25
We can choose what ever,
but really people, all of us,
00:28:28.28\00:28:34.21
we want to be happy,
we want to be a blessing,
00:28:34.24\00:28:38.38
especially Christian people,
we want to be a blessing,
00:28:38.41\00:28:42.47
that means we have the
freedom, to choose what is right
00:28:42.50\00:28:46.31
We want to put that away!
00:28:46.34\00:28:48.41
We don't have a choice, we have
a choice, but we have a choice,
00:28:48.61\00:28:51.44
to choose what is right,
regardless what is in our lives,
00:28:51.47\00:28:57.25
what the circumstances,
what is our bringing.
00:28:57.28\00:29:02.86
We have the choice to
choose what God wants us to be.
00:29:02.89\00:29:06.80
Do you think
it's true, Dr. Nedley?
00:29:06.83\00:29:08.00
I know that you'll
not disagree with her here
00:29:08.03\00:29:09.62
but what can you say
to flesh that out a bit?
00:29:10.52\00:29:13.47
Absolutely!
00:29:13.50\00:29:14.79
And you know this program really
is, about hope for everyone.
00:29:14.83\00:29:19.27
There are people that think that
00:29:19.63\00:29:21.23
they are victims of
circumstances and thus
00:29:21.82\00:29:26.35
they can never change
00:29:26.39\00:29:27.57
or they are victims of their
genetics, and can never change
00:29:28.31\00:29:32.36
and in reality although,
genetics produces tendencies,
00:29:32.39\00:29:36.47
and circumstances
produce tendencies,
00:29:36.50\00:29:39.25
there is something far
more powerful than genetics,
00:29:39.48\00:29:43.39
and far more
powerful than circumstances
00:29:43.42\00:29:46.36
and that is our
own ability to choose.
00:29:46.39\00:29:48.60
The freedom of choice
that God has given us.
00:29:48.63\00:29:50.51
So would you say that
before someone has the freedom
00:29:51.23\00:29:53.29
of choice that God
gave they are bound to make
00:29:53.32\00:29:56.17
In other words,
00:29:58.10\00:29:59.14
they only have the freedom
to be enslaved to bad things,
00:29:59.18\00:30:02.67
but once God comes into
their life they have the freedom
00:30:02.70\00:30:05.08
to choose the good.
00:30:05.11\00:30:06.20
Absolutely!
00:30:06.23\00:30:07.21
The spiritual
component is very important in
00:30:07.41\00:30:09.26
the process of
change, it can't be left out.
00:30:09.29\00:30:12.39
Used to be left
out, in alcohol programs,
00:30:12.59\00:30:16.23
and none of those alcohol
programs were successful.
00:30:16.26\00:30:19.04
It wasn't until Alcoholic
Anonymous incorporated the
00:30:19.12\00:30:21.66
spiritual aspect then all
of the sudden we started to see
00:30:21.69\00:30:24.86
results and it amazes me,
00:30:24.89\00:30:29.82
that many people actually
go through the steps of change
00:30:29.85\00:30:33.59
you can learn then
in psychology classes,
00:30:33.62\00:30:36.35
and the spiritual
part is totally left out,
00:30:36.38\00:30:38.98
because whether
people realize it or not
00:30:39.01\00:30:41.67
the only way a person quit
smoking is by the influence of
00:30:41.70\00:30:44.92
the Holy Spirit on their life.
00:30:44.95\00:30:46.76
And of course that means on the
frontal lobe, this is how God
00:30:46.79\00:30:49.59
communicates with
us, is through the brain,
00:30:49.62\00:30:52.13
and so the spiritual part
is all encompassing in regards
00:30:52.62\00:30:57.19
to our need to change, as
well as the power to change.
00:30:57.22\00:31:01.27
So we have:
"Emotions are in the brain",
00:31:01.44\00:31:03.13
" God has given us the
ability of freedom to choose",
00:31:03.16\00:31:07.39
"Circumstances don't determine".
00:31:07.42\00:31:09.73
Is there anything else?
00:31:09.76\00:31:10.85
Yes!
00:31:10.88\00:31:11.85
We should be
responsible of who we are,
00:31:12.21\00:31:15.48
from who we are, it
has a lot of implications
00:31:16.50\00:31:20.25
I am not saying that for
who I am, people depend on me.
00:31:20.33\00:31:25.50
I am not saying that
because whoever is around me,
00:31:25.53\00:31:29.19
they have to be
responsible for their lives.
00:31:29.22\00:31:31.24
But who I am is going to
determine the kind of mother
00:31:31.31\00:31:33.51
that my kids have.
00:31:33.54\00:31:34.74
Who I am is going to determine
what kind of wife my husband has
00:31:34.84\00:31:38.92
Who I am is going to determine
what kind church member,
00:31:38.95\00:31:42.89
my church has.
00:31:42.92\00:31:44.07
Who I am is going to
determine what kind neighbor,
00:31:44.17\00:31:47.04
my neighbor has.
00:31:47.07\00:31:48.44
That means I can not say:
00:31:48.47\00:31:49.86
I am who I want to be, and
do whatever, and be whatever.
00:31:49.89\00:31:54.13
We need to be responsible.
00:31:54.23\00:31:56.12
You know society
needs really people
00:31:56.16\00:31:59.11
that are responsible
and understand this concept.
00:31:59.14\00:32:01.68
So Zulan the attorney,
Zulan Collis, did she understand
00:32:01.71\00:32:06.14
was she taking
responsibility for her actions?
00:32:06.17\00:32:11.17
Well let's ask her!
00:32:11.20\00:32:12.74
Zulan what that
concept did to your life?
00:32:14.38\00:32:17.92
I think it helped me to
understand that I owed it to
00:32:20.48\00:32:23.35
myself to be a
better person, you know that
00:32:23.38\00:32:27.37
I had to take the power and
use the opportunity that I had,
00:32:27.40\00:32:33.21
to make a change in my life,
00:32:33.24\00:32:34.64
because I owed to
myself to be a better person
00:32:34.67\00:32:36.64
so that my family
could have a better person
00:32:36.67\00:32:38.99
so that when I decided I
would find that special someone,
00:32:39.02\00:32:43.09
that special someone,
would have a better person.
00:32:43.12\00:32:47.14
It was my
responsibility to do that.
00:32:49.67\00:32:52.23
Let's come back after a little
break and let's continue this
00:32:53.08\00:32:55.83
discussion then with
Zulan and your selves
00:32:55.86\00:32:58.05
and then apply some of these
principles to other things like:
00:32:58.09\00:33:01.13
bad habits, thinks that maybe
people are struggling with here,
00:33:01.16\00:33:04.36
other people that are watching,
00:33:04.39\00:33:05.66
and let's see if
we can apply that.
00:33:05.69\00:33:07.87
Join us when we come back.
00:33:07.90\00:33:09.75
Do your dread changes, and
yet know you need to make some?
00:33:21.02\00:33:24.51
Do you long for help in making
those needed improvements?
00:33:24.54\00:33:28.53
If so we have
just the book for you.
00:33:28.56\00:33:30.48
Find strength and help as
you read: "Secrets of Peace"
00:33:30.51\00:33:34.04
For your free gift,
just write to us today at:
00:33:34.07\00:33:36.45
or call us during
regular business hours:
00:33:41.69\00:33:43.84
Welcome back to Up close.
00:34:10.17\00:34:12.05
We are taking some
live questions now,
00:34:12.08\00:34:15.00
as we've been talking
about the process of change.
00:34:15.03\00:34:18.14
Could you give us your
name and your question please?
00:34:18.56\00:34:20.84
My name is Tina Gilchrest,
and I know that bad habits,
00:34:20.87\00:34:25.28
once formed continue so
easily without our even making a
00:34:25.31\00:34:30.28
conscious effort, and so will
it not be the same in reverse?
00:34:30.31\00:34:34.62
Yeah, absolutely!
00:34:34.65\00:34:35.67
There is a change that
takes place in reverse,
00:34:35.70\00:34:39.91
and once the
good habits are formed
00:34:39.94\00:34:42.20
we can have those to be as
habitual as the bad habits were,
00:34:42.23\00:34:46.47
but it also depends a
little bit on the habit as well.
00:34:46.50\00:34:50.37
For instance there are
studies dealing with cocaine,
00:34:51.51\00:34:54.05
that show if you use
cocaine once, you are addicted!
00:34:54.08\00:34:58.55
It's almost that powerful!
00:34:58.90\00:35:01.11
There are
unfortunately in today's society
00:35:01.45\00:35:04.20
addictions that
are very powerful,
00:35:04.23\00:35:06.46
some would put pornography
in that same categories,
00:35:06.49\00:35:10.92
of being just one time,
00:35:10.95\00:35:14.07
and the addiction
characteristics are set up
00:35:14.10\00:35:17.42
and so, for good habits,
it is not quite that way,
00:35:17.45\00:35:22.35
once you drank
water instead of Coke
00:35:22.38\00:35:24.29
it doesn't make you
want water every time,
00:35:24.32\00:35:26.88
so there is a little
bit of labor and persistence
00:35:27.06\00:35:30.94
and that is way there is effort,
00:35:30.97\00:35:32.77
in replacing the bad
habits with good habits,
00:35:32.80\00:35:36.85
and that is also why
we need the power of God,
00:35:36.96\00:35:38.92
because as human beings
we can not do those things.
00:35:38.95\00:35:42.35
What I want to say is that,
like I said the first concept is
00:35:42.38\00:35:46.46
what we are, in our feelings, in
our behavior it's in our brain
00:35:46.49\00:35:50.48
and when we put the good habits,
we put the message of health
00:35:50.51\00:35:56.39
that is going to give
us this strength to deal
00:35:56.42\00:36:00.02
with bad habits.
00:36:00.05\00:36:02.00
If we are eating
well, we are resting well,
00:36:02.56\00:36:05.11
we are breathing good
air and we exercising,
00:36:05.14\00:36:10.09
all that is going to make
our physical part of our body
00:36:10.12\00:36:15.40
really have the energy and it is
going to help us to really deal
00:36:15.43\00:36:20.07
with any kind of
problem that we have.
00:36:20.10\00:36:22.17
It is amazing that we don't
think that this is a machine
00:36:22.20\00:36:26.20
and this machine in order
to function has to work well.
00:36:26.23\00:36:30.11
We think about all kinds
of machines, all the machines
00:36:30.32\00:36:33.54
they need to work well
in order to you know...
00:36:33.57\00:36:36.41
We need to take care of them,
but when it deals with our body
00:36:36.44\00:36:39.11
we don't do that.
00:36:39.14\00:36:40.11
We want to do all
kinds of good things
00:36:40.12\00:36:42.42
but we don't
take care of the body.
00:36:42.45\00:36:44.26
We don't take care of the
brain, where that is going to
00:36:44.29\00:36:46.39
come from, then.
00:36:46.42\00:36:47.49
Judy, I know your name
already, what is your question?
00:36:47.70\00:36:50.81
My question is:
00:36:50.84\00:36:51.98
What do you say to somebody when
you tell them about these things
00:36:52.08\00:36:56.21
and they say: "Well that
is fine for somebody else
00:36:56.24\00:36:58.61
but there is no hope for
me, there is no help for me.
00:36:58.64\00:37:00.96
I am different".
00:37:00.99\00:37:02.59
Consciously incompetent.
00:37:02.62\00:37:03.97
Unconsciously incompetent.
00:37:04.00\00:37:06.14
Really is
nothing that you can do.
00:37:07.21\00:37:10.32
When the person
doesn't want to hear about it,
00:37:10.36\00:37:12.98
when he doesn't want
to do anything about it,
00:37:13.01\00:37:16.56
but your example, your life,
your energy, your good mood,
00:37:16.59\00:37:21.84
your love, your caring,
it can inspire that person,
00:37:21.87\00:37:26.00
it can make it different, that
person to see God through you,
00:37:26.14\00:37:29.77
and pray for that
person, but really for a change
00:37:29.80\00:37:33.57
the person has to want,
has to see the need for that.
00:37:33.60\00:37:38.27
We do have to have the person
understand that there is hope,
00:37:38.46\00:37:43.02
often their choice of
saying that there is no hope,
00:37:43.12\00:37:46.77
is one that if you have
them analyze that statement
00:37:46.80\00:37:51.62
is actually a
cognitive distortion.
00:37:52.30\00:37:55.41
We go through the
ten cognitive distortions
00:37:55.45\00:37:58.81
but I met many
depressed people that say that
00:37:58.91\00:38:01.01
there is no program or
no medication or nothing
00:38:01.04\00:38:04.64
that is going to help
me, because I am beyond hope
00:38:04.67\00:38:08.51
and that is a mental
filter, is overgeneralization,
00:38:08.71\00:38:13.32
it is all or nothing thinking
00:38:13.35\00:38:15.18
and if we give them examples of
those types of thought processes
00:38:15.21\00:38:19.34
they will be able to understand
that is a cognitive distortion,
00:38:19.37\00:38:23.00
it is not true and
they need to rephrase it
00:38:23.03\00:38:25.14
to something that is true
00:38:25.17\00:38:26.60
and once they
recognize that there is hope
00:38:26.64\00:38:28.46
then it comes back on
the responsibility part
00:38:28.49\00:38:30.52
on what to do about it.
00:38:30.55\00:38:32.18
One other thing
that you didn't mention
00:38:32.22\00:38:33.29
but I know you
believe is Prayer!
00:38:33.32\00:38:35.56
If someone says no,
00:38:35.59\00:38:36.69
than you can keep
praying and I like to say that
00:38:36.72\00:38:40.07
prayer is sort like e-mail you
keep sending it, and sending it
00:38:40.10\00:38:44.50
and in some day,
when it is opened
00:38:44.53\00:38:46.21
they saw all the messages that
where there all along the way,
00:38:46.24\00:38:48.71
and they see that God was there!
00:38:48.75\00:38:50.69
Your name and your question?
00:38:50.72\00:38:52.57
My name is Zenoc Mucace,
00:38:52.60\00:38:54.49
and my question is very
similar to the previous question
00:38:54.52\00:38:58.24
Changing work shifts affects,
one's eating, and sleeping habit
00:38:58.88\00:39:05.19
now how does one get
over this distortions
00:39:05.22\00:39:09.44
to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
00:39:09.47\00:39:11.55
Changing what?
00:39:11.58\00:39:12.79
Changing work shifts
00:39:13.22\00:39:14.62
Well Zulan, tell us,
about how you did that.
00:39:16.08\00:39:18.15
I mean I was fortunate enough
to being in the position where
00:39:18.18\00:39:23.26
I could change my work shifts.
00:39:23.29\00:39:24.71
That will be the best thing if
you could change your work shift
00:39:24.74\00:39:29.56
and that would be
the best think to do.
00:39:29.59\00:39:32.34
I strongly
recommended it by the way,
00:39:33.02\00:39:34.48
but if you are not in that
position I really don't know
00:39:34.51\00:39:39.75
that is something that I will
leave to you to kind of answer.
00:39:41.97\00:39:45.84
If you are forced to be in a
position where you have to work
00:39:45.87\00:39:47.49
a particular work shift or
you are rotating work shifts,
00:39:48.56\00:39:49.91
and that was also very
difficult cause we did that
00:39:49.94\00:39:52.16
for a time, I don't know.
00:39:52.19\00:39:54.50
If option number one doesn't
work, option number 2 at regular
00:39:55.30\00:39:58.54
schedule is very important and
if you are on the night shift
00:39:58.57\00:40:02.22
for instance and you are
working there and so you are not
00:40:02.25\00:40:05.42
getting the benefit of the
light and those type of things
00:40:05.45\00:40:08.52
you need to incorporate
some of your day to actually get
00:40:08.55\00:40:11.98
the light, and get the exercise,
it is actually better for you
00:40:14.40\00:40:15.37
to stay on that sleep-wake
cycle all through the week
00:40:15.38\00:40:20.58
even when you are not working
that is where many night shift
00:40:20.61\00:40:22.94
people break down is when
they are not working they shift
00:40:22.97\00:40:25.66
over in the day and so there's
Circadian rhythms, they're
00:40:25.69\00:40:28.61
always in flux and
that produces a hit.
00:40:28.64\00:40:32.97
Not enough to cause depression
but if they have some other
00:40:33.00\00:40:35.03
hits on board it
certainly can contribute to it.
00:40:35.06\00:40:37.70
So when they sleep we recommend
sleeping in a dark environment
00:40:38.27\00:40:41.53
to get melatonin, that means
a either wearing the shades
00:40:41.56\00:40:43.98
or a dark room and
when they are awake
00:40:44.01\00:40:47.21
exposed to at least an
hour of bright light per day.
00:40:47.88\00:40:51.74
In order to get the serotonin
so that would be option too.
00:40:51.77\00:40:55.51
Ok our next question.
Your name and your question.
00:40:57.55\00:40:59.90
I am Cecilia and my question is:
00:40:59.93\00:41:02.65
The program that Zulan went
to is it offered ongoing and how
00:41:02.69\00:41:06.60
long does that last,
and is there an age limit?
00:41:06.63\00:41:09.32
Ok the program is at the
Lifestyle Center of America
00:41:09.36\00:41:12.18
and they have programs there
all the time, for diabetes,
00:41:12.21\00:41:15.13
heart disease, stress,
those types of situations.
00:41:15.16\00:41:19.00
She went to a
specialized program, called:
00:41:19.49\00:41:22.55
" The Depression
Recovery Program "
00:41:22.58\00:41:24.16
and that is offered once a year,
00:41:24.68\00:41:26.91
and everyone in that program
was suffering from severe
00:41:26.94\00:41:30.10
depression that came there
00:41:30.13\00:41:32.18
and the I think the next
program will be in August 2005.
00:41:32.69\00:41:36.65
Age limit?
00:41:36.68\00:41:37.65
There is no age limit, we had
16 years old there and we had
00:41:37.66\00:41:43.07
I'm not sure many, of course
this is a younger group than the
00:41:43.10\00:41:47.24
diabetes group, overall.
00:41:47.27\00:41:48.98
No there is no age limit.
00:41:49.41\00:41:51.34
Ok well that is a wonderful
program to have that wide scope
00:41:51.38\00:41:57.27
of people there.
00:41:57.30\00:41:58.48
How did you do that with
the 16 year old that he was able
00:41:58.83\00:42:01.26
to track, or she was
able to track everything?
00:42:01.29\00:42:03.30
Did you spent a lot of
time with the 16 year old?
00:42:03.95\00:42:06.31
Yeah, she is doing well,
actually I talked to her and
00:42:06.34\00:42:10.07
she is doing really really good.
00:42:10.10\00:42:12.67
It's a lot of things that
she can not understand but if
00:42:13.31\00:42:16.47
she puts into her daily
routine the healthy lifestyle
00:42:16.50\00:42:24.16
it will help her,
and it is doing that.
00:42:24.20\00:42:27.07
She had nutritional hits
and frontal lobe hits, and her
00:42:27.42\00:42:30.44
frontal lobe hit was 25
hours of television per week.
00:42:32.05\00:42:35.49
Entertainment TV per week.
00:42:35.55\00:42:37.36
She's had to undergo significant
changes and she is benefiting
00:42:37.39\00:42:41.20
from them, it's
like a full time job.
00:42:41.23\00:42:44.38
What is your name and
what is your question please
00:42:44.90\00:42:46.49
My name is Dennis Stefonic
00:42:46.52\00:42:48.24
I set the stage with 2
health deficiencies in mind,
00:42:49.39\00:42:52.12
depression that you are talking
about tonight and also with
00:42:52.15\00:42:56.08
relation to diabetes.
00:42:56.11\00:42:57.91
Might there be suggestions for
the individual who lives in a
00:42:57.95\00:43:03.39
house hold with multiple
individuals, and is the only
00:43:03.42\00:43:06.94
one who realizes a lifestyle
change with diet in that mix?
00:43:09.38\00:43:15.45
So what do you do when
you are part of a house hold
00:43:15.90\00:43:17.79
where you are the only one
who is conscious essentially in
00:43:17.82\00:43:23.13
the group Kelly?
00:43:23.16\00:43:24.22
Well I can not say that
is easy it must be tough
00:43:27.80\00:43:31.56
but circumstances can
not determine who you are.
00:43:31.59\00:43:35.17
That means you have to decide
and make adjustments, somehow
00:43:35.20\00:43:39.26
and not expect people to
feel and to think the same way
00:43:39.29\00:43:42.66
that you do.
00:43:42.69\00:43:43.66
You have to be responsible
and not try to implement,
00:43:44.08\00:43:49.08
what you believe and to put into
other people's lives but you
00:43:49.18\00:43:54.39
have to make the decision and
do all you can to follow that
00:43:54.43\00:43:58.17
and to be inspiration for those
people you know they have to
00:43:58.20\00:44:03.21
see a change in you, they
have to see a good attitude
00:44:03.24\00:44:06.82
when they see that you
might change their mind
00:44:07.68\00:44:11.38
but if you are preaching to them
and tell them that they're doing
00:44:11.42\00:44:13.85
wrong and they have to change
00:44:13.88\00:44:15.39
then it is going to be
even tougher for them to change.
00:44:16.03\00:44:19.98
But you don't have excuse.
00:44:20.47\00:44:23.74
You are not
excused, you have choices too
00:44:24.14\00:44:28.05
Do you think there is
something wrong with preaching?
00:44:28.09\00:44:31.83
I guess from the pulpit you can.
00:44:33.47\00:44:36.27
I am just checking.
00:44:36.38\00:44:37.48
What is your name,
and what is your question?
00:44:37.51\00:44:39.57
My name is Dave, and the
question is directed to the
00:44:39.60\00:44:44.16
The 4 principles and the 4
stages that you were talking
00:44:45.82\00:44:49.43
about I am curious how
that would be received in the
00:44:49.46\00:44:52.60
psychological community as
a whole and what implications
00:44:52.63\00:44:57.22
would that have to anyone who
is seeking professional help?
00:44:57.25\00:44:59.38
That's a tough question.
00:45:01.82\00:45:03.04
I don't know if I
want to answer that.
00:45:03.07\00:45:06.89
I really didn't want to get
into this but there's a lot of
00:45:11.29\00:45:14.10
mistakes I think and I
believe the psychologist and
00:45:14.13\00:45:18.74
psychiatrist way
of seeing things...
00:45:18.77\00:45:22.37
I'll interrupt for a minute
I can quote Scientific American
00:45:24.93\00:45:25.90
Medicine and the
modern text book today
00:45:25.91\00:45:28.79
and that is the only text
book that stays up to date, and
00:45:28.82\00:45:31.51
it says " Traditional forms
of psychotherapy have never been
00:45:31.54\00:45:34.61
proven to help depression
anymore then a placebo does. "
00:45:34.64\00:45:38.74
Those are traditional forms of
psychotherapy and that's what's
00:45:39.92\00:45:42.21
being utilized
largely to a great degree
00:45:42.24\00:45:45.11
so that means all these
theories that sound good,
00:45:45.14\00:45:48.56
that you might have
learned in psychology class
00:45:48.59\00:45:50.72
when put into
practice, actually don't work!
00:45:50.75\00:45:52.87
At least in many settings now
placebos can work some and so
00:45:53.66\00:45:57.27
that little bit of success has
led them to think that this is
00:45:57.30\00:46:00.48
actually helpful but when
they have tested against the
00:46:01.24\00:46:03.20
scientific method,
it has not been helpful.
00:46:03.23\00:46:05.10
That is the reason that I
got Kelly involved because Kelly
00:46:05.13\00:46:08.29
involves, because Kelly
involves a type of therapy
00:46:08.32\00:46:11.11
that actually is been shown
scientifically to be helpful.
00:46:11.65\00:46:15.57
It is actually where we
talk about the frontal lobe,
00:46:15.82\00:46:18.24
we talk about cognitive
behavioral therapy by the way,
00:46:18.27\00:46:20.98
frontal lobe is kind of
left out of the picture in most
00:46:21.01\00:46:23.90
psychology classes
it's left alone because
00:46:23.93\00:46:25.94
it is the spiritual part
of things and moral things
00:46:25.97\00:46:28.84
and psychologists aren't
supposed to talk about morals
00:46:28.87\00:46:31.15
or believes and
so, they leave it out.
00:46:31.18\00:46:33.46
But Kelly actually takes a
vehement position against much
00:46:34.35\00:46:39.31
of the past
standards psychology world,
00:46:39.34\00:46:42.03
fortunately a much of it have
started to catch up with Kelly
00:46:42.61\00:46:44.91
now and I think it will
eventually, but I don't think
00:46:44.94\00:46:49.36
we need to be ashamed to
say that our program does not
00:46:49.39\00:46:53.34
utilize much of what is
there in standard psychology.
00:46:53.37\00:46:57.74
What it led me to work the way
that I do it's seeing people,
00:46:58.88\00:47:04.25
seeing people and the power of
the brain and what God gave us
00:47:04.28\00:47:09.62
really what we have in
our hands, it is so powerful
00:47:09.65\00:47:12.69
there is nothing that should
withstand from our success or
00:47:12.72\00:47:17.39
to be what God wants us to be.
00:47:17.42\00:47:19.32
What I found out it's
people we use as an excuse to
00:47:20.32\00:47:25.23
manipulate or to do
whatever we want circumstances,
00:47:25.26\00:47:29.34
or our pains and wounds, we
use it as an excuse and I take
00:47:29.37\00:47:34.39
those excuses out and I leave
everything up to the person
00:47:34.42\00:47:38.99
and the results are amazing!
00:47:39.76\00:47:41.72
I am amazed, with the results,
I am still being amazed,
00:47:41.75\00:47:45.97
there are no excuses.
00:47:46.00\00:47:49.44
Animals can be trained, can you
imagine, animals can be trained,
00:47:49.48\00:47:52.73
wild animals can be
trained, there's impossible that
00:47:52.76\00:47:58.10
a human brain can not change
and be healed and be marvelous
00:48:02.33\00:48:03.30
people in this earth and to be
a blessing, regardless what we
00:48:03.31\00:48:08.61
went through, regardless!
00:48:08.64\00:48:10.44
Really every day I'm more
certain of this truth, really.
00:48:10.47\00:48:17.08
Your name and your question.
00:48:18.70\00:48:20.12
My name is Douglas, and
this is quite a long question.
00:48:20.15\00:48:24.73
How does one stop realizing
that they need to change and
00:48:25.50\00:48:27.97
just do so when they keep
falling back into the same pit
00:48:29.74\00:48:31.31
that after being delivered
by the Saviour continuously
00:48:31.34\00:48:34.04
and how does one truly take
responsibility, and come out of
00:48:34.07\00:48:37.78
that stage and stay out?
00:48:37.81\00:48:39.44
How they can
come out of a stage...
00:48:42.00\00:48:43.68
- They keep following back in.
00:48:43.71\00:48:46.63
Ok, that is a very good question
00:48:48.21\00:48:51.64
Sometimes we're trying to change
just that thing it's like,
00:48:52.23\00:48:56.70
if you can give me an
example, or any of you can
00:48:56.74\00:48:59.15
give me an example.
00:48:59.18\00:49:00.22
Well a good example is,
00:49:01.54\00:49:03.10
I have a tendency of assuming
and jumping to conclusions
00:49:09.12\00:49:14.84
continuously or hearing things
that aren't said and the enemy
00:49:14.87\00:49:20.64
takes and twists something
that was said and gets me to
00:49:20.67\00:49:23.83
believe something that
wasn't said and then I get upset
00:49:23.86\00:49:27.44
and get mad and say that the
person is trying to make me out
00:49:27.47\00:49:31.02
to be a liar.
00:49:31.05\00:49:32.32
Ok, that is a
fantastic question!
00:49:32.35\00:49:35.07
We are going to understand now.
00:49:35.11\00:49:37.88
If you think that, is because
the information that you have
00:49:37.91\00:49:42.14
already in your brain, things
that had been while you were,
00:49:42.17\00:49:43.91
you know growing up
and make you believe,
00:49:43.94\00:49:47.19
because of the information
that he has already his brain
00:49:47.22\00:49:50.90
then you see the world that way.
00:49:50.93\00:49:53.21
Now if you try to
change that part of your life,
00:49:53.24\00:49:57.21
it is going to be so though.
00:49:57.24\00:49:58.56
You are going to be dealing all
the time but what you have to do
00:49:58.91\00:50:02.02
is to pour new
information in your brain,
00:50:02.05\00:50:05.03
change all your lifestyle, and
read good stuff, see good stuff,
00:50:05.25\00:50:11.03
your process of thinking has
to be not only in those things
00:50:11.06\00:50:15.29
but you have to feed your brain
with the best that you can feed
00:50:15.32\00:50:20.41
your brain.
00:50:20.44\00:50:21.41
Sometimes we want to change
in one area, but the rest of
00:50:21.42\00:50:24.86
our areas are feeding
the brain with what is bad
00:50:24.89\00:50:28.57
and that is almost as
trying to go against the current
00:50:29.11\00:50:32.62
and the more things you bring
into your brain that is bad,
00:50:33.93\00:50:41.63
the current it's stronger
but if you put into your brain,
00:50:41.66\00:50:44.08
you make the
decisions and you say:
00:50:44.11\00:50:45.61
" Ok, this problem that
I have, it is in my brain,
00:50:45.64\00:50:49.34
I will help my brain "
and then you start putting
00:50:49.37\00:50:51.74
new information into your brain
and being consistent in that
00:50:51.78\00:50:57.68
and then go jogging, and eat
well and rest well, and be aware
00:50:57.71\00:51:03.42
of your thinking, because of
what you think is the problem,
00:51:03.45\00:51:06.79
and go to God
and read the Bible.
00:51:06.82\00:51:11.02
You are just putting new
information, your reaction is
00:51:12.23\00:51:15.94
because of the bad information
that is in your brain.
00:51:15.97\00:51:18.57
Ok. That is fascinating,
what you are saying then is
00:51:19.05\00:51:22.71
that sometimes people
would just fixate on one thing
00:51:22.75\00:51:25.78
and you really that is not
so helpful you need to have a
00:51:25.81\00:51:29.00
broader approach to all
kinds of things, addressing the
00:51:29.03\00:51:33.05
same thing, have you
found the same Dr. Nedley?
00:51:33.08\00:51:36.28
Yes, absolutely.
00:51:36.85\00:51:37.82
It takes a
comprehensive approach,
00:51:37.83\00:51:39.98
that's why the Lifestyle
Center Program works so well,
00:51:40.01\00:51:42.45
cause we can change
everything at one time.
00:51:42.48\00:51:45.43
When I do the community programs
in Ardmore and other places,
00:51:46.03\00:51:50.88
we work on a hit category every
week and so that means there's
00:51:50.98\00:51:55.62
8 hit categories we can work on
00:51:55.65\00:51:57.50
and so it takes 8
weeks to go through it.
00:51:58.11\00:52:00.14
It is a longer process, but for
those who go through it can be
00:52:00.17\00:52:04.44
just as successful but
when we can change everything
00:52:04.47\00:52:07.59
up front, together,
we are given a head start
00:52:07.63\00:52:11.49
that produces a powerful
before and after experience,
00:52:11.57\00:52:14.77
as we've seen
demonstrated here with Zulan.
00:52:14.80\00:52:16.76
Your name and
your question please?
00:52:18.56\00:52:20.37
My name is Joel and my question
is: If you are trying to stop an
00:52:20.40\00:52:23.50
addiction should you completely
abstain from it or stop it
00:52:23.53\00:52:26.54
slowly by slowly.
00:52:26.57\00:52:27.70
That is a good question, and
actually if you are trying to
00:52:29.16\00:52:32.75
overcome an addiction
the cold turkey method
00:52:34.22\00:52:35.24
is the method that
works, and it sounds cruel,
00:52:35.27\00:52:39.34
total abstinence for
life and some people say,
00:52:39.37\00:52:44.15
well you know what
about just once a month?
00:52:44.18\00:52:47.17
I was asked that about smoking
recently one time a month.
00:52:47.20\00:52:51.37
That is not going to harm
me is it, if I smoke just one
00:52:51.40\00:52:54.38
And of course that is a
lot better than everyday,
00:52:55.93\00:52:58.49
it is a lot better than
multiple packs a day but when we
00:52:58.52\00:53:02.60
reward ourselves periodically,
with a habit like that,
00:53:02.63\00:53:06.54
we undermine our ability to ever
over come it and it is only by
00:53:07.05\00:53:10.64
being free of that addiction,
that we will actually learn
00:53:10.67\00:53:13.68
enjoyment of life,
that is separated from that,
00:53:13.72\00:53:16.86
and then we know
that our joys in life
00:53:16.90\00:53:19.09
are not connected with it
at all, and soon the addiction
00:53:19.12\00:53:21.80
And if the addiction is
not missed that's when we are
00:53:23.14\00:53:26.64
unconsciously competent and
we have reached an important
00:53:26.67\00:53:30.54
stage for, that is why
the taper back method is met
00:53:30.57\00:53:35.41
with failure often.
00:53:35.44\00:53:36.52
I want to ask Kelly to just
share with us her final thoughts
00:53:38.36\00:53:41.39
we have a couple of minutes
to share those final thoughts
00:53:41.88\00:53:43.68
with us today, give us
that pearl of great price.
00:53:43.71\00:53:50.23
There are so many
thoughts that I have, really
00:53:52.22\00:53:55.54
I work with addictions
a lot and we're trying to,
00:53:57.80\00:54:03.93
like the doctor said,
we're trying to deal just not
00:54:03.96\00:54:09.01
you seen whatever addiction
it is though, but again
00:54:09.69\00:54:16.68
my final thought is God
has given us 2 messages,
00:54:16.72\00:54:20.70
power messages, the
power of the Message of Health.
00:54:20.73\00:54:25.57
When I started to work in
Lifestyle Center over there
00:54:26.14\00:54:28.88
in Montemorelos I thought that
I knew this I was an Adventist
00:54:28.91\00:54:33.48
since I was a kid, I was a
runner and I didn't eat meat
00:54:33.51\00:54:38.78
all my life that is sad you
know, I was good for the job
00:54:38.81\00:54:44.11
and the message of health is
so profound and it is so simple,
00:54:44.86\00:54:50.54
and it gives us the
power the energy, the aiming
00:54:50.57\00:54:53.52
and the message of
health is not to have health,
00:54:53.55\00:54:56.45
can you imagine that?
00:54:56.48\00:54:57.62
When I heard that from my
husband I said: " Wait a minute,
00:54:57.81\00:55:00.10
what are you saying? "
00:55:00.13\00:55:01.30
The message of heath
is not to be healthy?
00:55:01.33\00:55:03.34
The primary reason is not
to be healthy it's to be clean
00:55:03.37\00:55:10.57
in our mind in our body to
be able to be connected to God,
00:55:10.60\00:55:15.28
and to understand His message.
00:55:15.31\00:55:18.07
When we are healthy, when this
machine this brain is working
00:55:18.10\00:55:23.31
well I can understand
the message of the Gospel,
00:55:23.34\00:55:26.84
and it is so powerful,
and you want to overcome
00:55:26.87\00:55:32.14
addiction you want to overcome
all kinds of bad behaviors
00:55:32.17\00:55:36.20
Get into the message of health!
00:55:36.23\00:55:38.21
Go jogging, breathe in the
morning, rest well, eat well,
00:55:38.24\00:55:41.58
have a good attitude, trust
in God, you'll see how that is
00:55:41.64\00:55:46.01
going to shake your
life, really is going to
00:55:46.04\00:55:48.71
shake your life.
00:55:48.74\00:55:50.54
Christians we are in the mode
that we shouldn't be, really
00:55:50.58\00:55:55.03
it's like God has given...
00:55:55.06\00:55:57.94
Dr. Nedley do you think
that she is almost too excited
00:55:57.97\00:56:00.22
about this, or you
can't be get to excited?
00:56:00.25\00:56:02.43
No you can't be too
excited about this subject.
00:56:02.46\00:56:04.72
It is almost like God has
given us a banquet, and He says:
00:56:05.81\00:56:08.79
" Eat from here " and we
say:" No, I prefer to eat dirt"
00:56:08.82\00:56:12.75
It is something so beautiful
for our lives and we just
00:56:16.14\00:56:20.11
put that in our lives
you are going to see it
00:56:20.14\00:56:22.87
and you're going
to be so excited!
00:56:22.90\00:56:24.00
Our churches should
change with these 2 messages:
00:56:24.73\00:56:27.46
The Message of the Health and
the sweet message of the Gospel
00:56:27.49\00:56:31.81
with the huge waffle, Dr.
Nedley cherry right on top,
00:56:31.84\00:56:35.54
Just your closing thoughts
00:56:35.57\00:56:37.23
My closing thoughts are:
00:56:38.31\00:56:39.28
No matter who you are and no
matter what your circumstances
00:56:39.29\00:56:43.29
are and no matter what your
genetics are, YOU CAN CHANGE!
00:56:43.32\00:56:48.52
I would implore you now,
to prepare for great changes
00:56:49.32\00:56:56.52
in your life, put this
principles to heart If you
00:56:56.55\00:56:59.41
haven't heard them all order
the DVD or the Video from 3ABN.
00:56:59.44\00:57:05.31
Put these changes to heart and
God will do wonderful things,
00:57:05.41\00:57:10.34
beyond what your
expectations are!
00:57:10.37\00:57:14.34
We want to thank our
guests today: Zulan Collis,
00:57:14.38\00:57:17.24
Kelly Dulac, and Dr.
Neil Nedley for being
00:57:17.27\00:57:20.89
with us and you know it's
really a blessing that Change
00:57:20.92\00:57:24.63
is in fact Possible!
00:57:24.66\00:57:26.34
We have had a message of
hope today a message of healing
00:57:27.10\00:57:30.68
and we're thankful that all
of you, are now in one of those
00:57:30.71\00:57:34.63
stages, maybe consciously
competent at this point
00:57:34.66\00:57:39.34
and we welcome you
to the world of change,
00:57:39.37\00:57:41.85
it is not that scary after all!
00:57:41.89\00:57:43.36
it can be
accomplished with God's help!
00:57:43.39\00:57:46.32
Thank you for joining us!
00:57:46.35\00:57:48.18