Participants: Kay Kuzma (Host)<\br> 01. Donna Teat<\br> 02. Cassandra Thomson
Series Code: UC
Program Code: UC000404
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00:24 - Hello everyone, I'm Kay Kuzma. Welcome to another 3ABN Up Close
00:29 We're coming to you today from Patmos Chapel Seventh Day 00:34 Adventist Church in Winter Park, Florida. 00:36 And we would like to thank our live audience who has joined us 00:39 today for this very, very special program. 00:43 It's always special when we have a live audience. 00:47 And today we're going to be talking about teenage pregnancy 00:51 which effects 900,000 teens each year in the United States alone. 00:55 In fact, the United States has one of the highest rates 00:59 of teen pregnancy of all the industrialized nations. 01:03 Studies show that teen pregnancy has a significant effect 01:08 on the teenager whose pregnant, the father of the baby 01:12 and the parental support system and perhaps most important 01:16 on that baby that is to be born. 01:18 Today, we're going to be exploring how we can 01:21 not only help those who are teenage parents, 01:24 but also how we can help other teens to avoid the problem 01:28 of teen pregnancy. 01:31 Our first guest is Cassandra Thomson, 01:34 from Fort Lauderdale Florida. 01:36 And although she could not be with us today we did tape 01:40 an interview with her. Cassandra was 17 years old 01:45 and had been dating someone from her church for a year. 01:49 Getting pregnant was not something that she 01:52 had planned on, but it happened and it changed 01:55 the entire course of her life. 01:58 And here's what she has to say: 02:00 - When I was 17 years old I had a boyfriend. 02:04 We were together for almost a year and we were in love 02:09 we did things together, we went out, 02:14 we were on the top of the world. 02:18 We were also having protected 02:21 sex, but I found myself pregnant. 02:26 I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to do. 02:31 I'm sure my parents were gonna be upset. 02:35 They had always told me not to have a boyfriend 02:40 and just wait till later on in life when I have my education 02:45 and I build a life for myself. 02:50 I didn't listen. 02:52 I didn't know how to tell them so I told my closest friend 02:57 which was his sister. She told her parents 03:03 and they told my parents. 03:06 I wish I had told my parents myself because I think 03:10 it hurt them more that they had to hear it from 03:14 someone else and not me. 03:16 But I didn't think that I could go to them and speak to them. 03:21 It stressed me a lot, I used to cry everyday, 03:26 not knowing how I would provide for this baby. 03:29 Little did I know the next day after my mom found out 03:34 that I was pregnant she went out and started buying baby clothes 03:39 and bottles and food and diapers and she was just storing 03:44 them away for me. 03:46 When my dad found me one day crying in my room 03:50 he snuck me into the closet into their closet and 03:55 he showed me this big bassinet with all this stuff in it 03:59 and he told me not to worry that my mom did love me 04:04 and she was just disappointed and that everything 04:09 would be taken care of. 04:18 It takes courage you know to speak about your experience 04:22 and I think is interesting that Cassandra said that 04:25 she had a boyfriend dating for a year, 04:27 they had fun together, went places together 04:31 and they were sure they were in love. 04:34 But what happened when she got pregnant? 04:38 The boyfriend continued to be a vital part in her life? 04:43 Did their love relationship grow? 04:45 Pregnancy is a challenging stage of life, 04:49 regardless of how old you are or how many babies you've had. 04:53 But being young and not married can add 04:56 lot of extra challenges to a pregnancy. 04:59 Here's what Cassandra experienced during that time: 05:04 During my pregnancy I felt very alone, 05:09 I went to all my prenatal visits alone. 05:13 I went to a lot of... my pregnancy alone and 05:18 my parents, they were there for me and my family 05:23 and close friends, but the father of the baby 05:27 and his family, they were still in denial and 05:31 they hadn't come around until my daughter was born. 05:36 Previously we hadn't had any real good communication 05:42 until then and when she was born I guess they started to accept 05:49 the fact that the baby was his and is just a new innocent life 05:56 in the world that they need to learn to accept and 05:59 love this baby because she was their grandchild. 06:03 After I realized that I had done something wrong 06:06 and I needed to ask for forgiveness. 06:09 I did, and... 06:12 It was really hard, I turned to God for a lot of things, 06:17 for help on what I was going to do 06:20 as far as taking care of this baby. 06:24 I wanted to know how He was gonna help me, 06:28 'cause I didn't see any physical signs until 06:32 I spoke with my father. 06:36 So this was a big step on, how He was gonna pull me 06:42 through this one. 06:44 And He did, He gave me two wonderful parents 06:48 that helped me through this whole situation. 06:54 And I thanked Him for that. 06:58 - It's not easy to talk about these things and I think 07:02 the thing that hit me the most is... as I listened to this 07:05 is when Cassandra said: "- I felt so alone. 07:09 I was going through this without ... how I perhaps imagined it 07:13 when I was young girl, growing up before 17." 07:17 And now she's alone. 07:19 But what did she do? She turned to her Father 07:23 in Heaven, the best support system 07:25 and did you catch that suddenly she kind of felt 07:30 that support that she needed. 07:33 And then she went to her father, the father of course showed her 07:37 the things that mom was getting and although Cassandra felt 07:42 she didn't want to disappoint her parents. 07:46 Once pregnancy happened they just turned around 07:51 even though perhaps disappointed they turned around and 07:56 accepted her and gave her the love and support she needed. 08:05 Well, coming up next: 08:07 We're gonna be talking to Donna Teat who worked 08:11 for many years as a medical social worker 08:14 dealing with these problems. 08:16 So, stay with us and we'll be right back. 08:28 - Next week on Up Close 08:30 - Our topic is how to find a way out of depression 08:34 that leads to suicide. 08:36 - The despair of the time, I had two children at the time 08:38 and in that moment I became very suicidal. 08:42 - One of the most common is depression 08:45 You know, Proverb: 17:22 says that: 08:48 "A broken Spirit dries the bones". 08:51 - He said: "Never hurt yourselves over me" 08:54 He said that "It wasn't worth it. " 08:56 - Your are going to praise God no matter what, 08:59 you are going to turn your negative thoughts 09:01 to the power source of strength. 09:05 Now what happens: rejoice. 09:08 - Next Week on Up Close: Is suicide a way out? 09:12 Don't miss it. 09:21 - Welcome back to Up Close 09:23 Today we're talking about the problem of teen pregnancy, 09:26 and our special guest is Donna Teat 09:29 from South Ban, Indiana. 09:32 Dona worked for many years as a medical social worker 09:35 and she is lectured extensively on this topic. 09:39 And currently she is a high school teacher where 09:42 she deals with many problems including teen pregnancy 09:46 and we've had the chance to talk a little bit together 09:50 and those teenagers in your high school classes, 09:53 Dona I think are very lucky. 09:56 We wanna welcome Donna. This is really great. 09:59 - Thank you. 10:07 - Well, our problem is a big one. 10:09 We can't solve everything, but I'd really like to ask you 10:12 just to get things started, why do you think 10:16 so many teenagers today are sexually active? 10:22 - Looking for love in all the wrong places. 10:26 They don't get the love or the attention at home 10:28 and they feel, hey, I can get it from 10:31 my friends or from pears, or a boyfriend, 10:33 or a boy will give me what I need. 10:35 And so we have a lot of ... to that teenagers, 10:38 I'm sorry... I see a lot of teens who 10:39 were looking for love, looking for any kind of attention 10:42 from anybody who will give it to them 10:45 and unfortunately who they look for is the wrong person. 10:50 - And what kind of behaviors do you see in these kids 10:53 when they are kind of at risk for teenage pregnancy, 10:56 when they are looking for love in all the wrong places? 11:00 - In my classroom especially, as well as at the public 11:04 high school the behaviors that we see are not only... 11:07 there's a lack of supervision in the home, but we see 11:10 their behavior acting out in the way they dress, 11:13 the way they talk, in the way they... 11:15 - Ok, give me an example: the way they dress. 11:17 Some of us haven't been in the classroom recently. 11:21 - Well, you'll be surprised, the way they dress 11:24 isn't appropriate. I'm considered the most 11:26 old fashion teacher at my school. 11:29 Often times, even if I were to dress down and a wear suit 11:35 my teenagers treat me differently. 11:38 What we do, we see a lot of the young men wearing sagging pants, 11:43 showing, exposing their boxer shorts, 11:45 we see the girls exposing the navels... 11:48 - So they don't put a belt on. - Don't put a belt on... 11:49 And we see the young ladies exposing their navels, 11:52 everything is getting lower and lower, 11:56 skirts are getting shorter and shorter. 11:59 We can see a lot of young people that don't know how to sit. 12:01 - So what other behaviors do you see? 12:04 The clothing you mentioned, the way they sit, you mentioned. 12:10 - There's a pre-occupation with trying to please, 12:15 or trying to... please someone else 12:20 and get that level of acceptance from someone else. 12:24 The young girls feel that: I'm a woman 12:28 if I have a boyfriend. 12:30 I'm ok if I have a boyfriend, if I don't have a boyfriend 12:34 something's wrong with me. Or the other kids 12:36 may think that I'm a lesbian. 12:38 We are not going out like that Ms Teat, 12:40 I have a man, you know. 12:41 They look to get their self esteem and who 12:44 and what they are in a man. 12:46 And the guys also feel the same way: 12:49 "I have to have this girl, this girl, this girl, this girl, 12:51 this girl... I want to make sure 12:54 that I'm stuff and I'm all of that with my friends 12:56 and that kind of thing. 12:57 - But it's not just having a boyfriend 13:00 it's the sexual activity. 13:02 - Having multiple partners, anywhere, any time. 13:06 - That's kind of become an accepted thing 13:08 in the culture. 13:09 - And it's peer pressure. If you're... 13:12 None of my students would openly in the middle of class 13:16 say: "Hello Ms Teat, I'm a virgin". 13:18 No, you don't wanna go out like that. 13:22 You don't wanna go out with like that. 13:23 And the students one and one will come up to you and say: 13:26 "Ms Teat you know I haven't done anything like that" 13:29 But receiving acceptance from their peers is so important, 13:34 wanting to fit in is so important that giving up 13:38 for the sake of who and what I am and what I stand for 13:42 it's ok as long as I fit in. 13:45 - And you wonder where they have gotten this, because 13:48 a generation or two ago we didn't see this 13:52 at least so openly. 13:53 What do you think about television and the media? 13:56 Are we feeding our kids this trash? 13:58 - We're feeding our kids a lot of stuff, 14:01 but I wanna save them before we go there. 14:03 There's no supervision in the home. 14:05 Often times for the students that I see I'm the first adult 14:08 that has the nerve to say anything to them during 14:11 that 24 hour period. 14:13 So a lot of times at 7:45 in the morning when we start class 14:16 the bells rings at 7:30, 7:35, we have morning bells 14:20 I'm the first adult for many of my students 14:22 to tell them what they gonna do and what they not gonna do, 14:25 because mom or dad, depending on what 14:28 the home situation is, they are not there. 14:31 Often times a lot of my students are the parents within 14:35 their home. You know, they're taking 14:37 care of younger brothers and sisters, they're going up 14:39 and making sure that their younger brother and sister 14:42 are getting up in the morning, they're going 14:44 getting them dressed, to get them on the school bus 14:47 then they themselves are coming to school. 14:49 - In think a lot of parents, are sometimes afraid 14:52 to put those boundaries like pull up you pants 14:55 and get a decent blouse on. Because they want to be 14:59 liked, loved by their kids and they're afraid 15:02 if they put those boundaries on their kids, 15:05 they will loose a relationship with their kids. 15:07 Or, even a lot of it, and I want to get to the media point 15:10 that you brought out, it's we don't have time. 15:12 The devil would have us to believe that we have to have 15:16 a two parent, two working, we have to keep up 15:18 with the Jones', we have to have the latest car 15:20 we have to have the latest clothes. 15:22 You know my two year old kid can't walk around unless 15:25 he has Tommy Hilfiger and what ever. 15:26 I remember at 2, at 6, at 7, at 8 I didn't care about clothes 15:31 I didn't know nothing about was it Guess, was it Louis Vuitton 15:36 was it this or that. I just wore clothes 'cause 15:39 that's what my mama told me and if I didn't do what my mama 15:41 told me then you just didn't go there. 15:45 I didn't worry about clothes, I didn't worry 15:47 about electric bill, I didn't worry about... 15:49 I don't ever remember a time where the phone was disconnected 15:51 or there was no heat, or there was no food or... 15:54 We knew this is what you are going to do. 15:58 Times have changed, we live in a fast pace society 16:01 we want it quick, we want it now. 16:03 That parents are so cut up and trying to make a living 16:07 that we somehow lost... We've lost track of what God's 16:11 ideal is for us. We don't depend on Him enough. 16:14 - Yeah. - We don't... 16:17 We don't give Him our family, our children, our finances 16:21 Lord listen: I don't know how I'm gonna... 16:24 There's more month, than money. 16:26 And I don't know how I'm gonna do this, but I need 16:30 to be home with my children. 16:31 Between the time they get home from school and 7 o'clock 16:34 at night, I need... there needs to be somebody in the home. 16:37 If I can't do it I need church help, I need friends, 16:40 I need somebody. 16:41 But we don't trust Him enough and what we're finding is that 16:44 most inappropriate activity among teenagers 16:46 is happening during those hours and during those times. 16:50 Now you mentioned the media. - Yeah. 16:52 You know, I could name off stores right now 16:56 and one of the things that I talk to the students about 16:59 is... you know, I bring them pictures, 17:01 in fact when I do these talks, I bring in copies of magazines, 17:04 I make the kids go through magazines. 17:05 I want you to pick out all the advertisements that depict 17:10 sexual anything; and there's a commercial 17:12 "Got milk" 17:14 We know he has milk, 'cause he's got milk 17:17 on his moustache, but why he has no clothes on? 17:21 you know, when I go to get a bowl of cereal and milk 17:24 why do I need, oh I'm gonna get some milk 17:27 with no clothes on. 17:28 Oh... You know, these images 17:29 are there, all over and we talked to the kids 17:32 we'll say to parents and to young people 17:35 talk to your parents about these images. 17:37 What does this... There's certain individuals 17:40 that I will not buy or wear their clothing, 17:43 because when I found out, you know, I used to... 17:45 There's a lady that I love her clothing, she's got some 17:49 fine clothing, but when I found out that 60% of the money she 17:53 gets from this clothing, she came on National TV 17:57 and she said that she gives it to the devil. 17:58 Why would I wanna support that? 18:00 So if I'm gonna buy clothes, I want who ever I'm buying 18:04 that label from to represent the values that I have. 18:08 If they're going to... you know, depict women 18:10 in an inappropriate way, to try to sell something, 18:13 or they gonna call women in an inappropriate name, 18:16 or they're going to... you know, I got to have sex, 18:18 and I got to do this. I mean you never hear rappers 18:21 talk about boom, boom 18:24 It's crabs or whatever it may be. 18:28 You never hear them talk about 18:29 those things, but when you start talking to young people 18:32 and say: listen, look at clothing, what does it represent 18:35 what's the history behind the clothing. 18:36 'Cause if you found out the history behind... you know, 18:39 sagging pants, you don't go in any jail, 18:43 and have your pants sagging. 18:44 So are you doing it in this environment? 18:47 You know, and when kids understand that, they can make 18:51 a better decision, a better informed decision. 18:54 - Wow. And I'm taking also the movies 18:58 our kids watch, the sit-coms?, I mean 19:02 they're saying hello one minute they're kissing the next bit 19:06 and they are in bed. - Right. 19:08 You never ever see that it was painful 19:12 or that it hurt the first time someone had intercourse, 19:14 you never see that the person 19:17 ended up getting cervical cancer, 19:20 you never see anything about that this relationship 19:24 ruined possible future relationships because it wasn't 19:28 all like it was cracked up to be. 19:30 One of the things that Cassandra talked about was she was in love 19:34 You know, we dated for a year, but I dare say, 19:38 those feelings of in love and that feeling that they had 19:42 between each other is that the same now, 19:45 like it was then? You don't see that on movies, 19:48 you don't see that in the soap operas. 19:49 I mean people are getting in bed, out of bed, in the bed, 19:53 out of bed. There's so many beds. 19:58 I mean, there are so many beds, I'm telling you. 20:01 - So... - Wow. 20:02 - The problem of teenage pregnancy basically is kids 20:07 are sexually active. This is a part 20:09 of their life style. 20:12 - Well, the culture would make you or want you to believe 20:15 that all the teenagers are having sex, that's not true. 20:19 - Good. 20:20 - It's just... 20:25 It is nothing but the devil's lies. 20:28 If he can lie to you and if he kind of just 20:32 change your... I love how Steven Covey 20:34 talks about a paradigm shift. 20:37 If he can present something in such a way 20:40 to get you to think that everybody else is doing it 20:44 then you think. As a man thinks as so is he. 20:47 But what you need to understand, not everybody 20:49 is having sex. There are lot of young people 20:52 who aren't having sex, who have made a stand 20:54 and say: You know what? I'm gonna save myself 20:56 for the kind of relationship that God wants me to have. 21:00 Sex is a wonderful thing and it is supposed to be 21:03 a wonderful thing under the right circumstances. 21:06 - All right. Now, here we are 21:08 we have a high school teacher who's... 21:15 got to hold her kids to be responsible, but what about 21:19 the parents, what can parents do to help. 21:22 What about the boundaries that we should be setting or 21:26 encourage our kids to set and so that they make responsible 21:29 decisions in this area. 21:31 - One of the things I talk about is boundaries. 21:33 I not only talk about when I do workshops, 21:35 I talk about with the kids, but I also make the parents 21:38 go through boundaries. It is fun. 21:41 It is funny to see what parents think are 21:45 appropriate boundaries. Maybe the mom thinks is 21:48 an appropriate boundary and what the dad 21:50 thinks is an appropriate boundary. 21:51 - Give us some examples. - Let me give you some examples 21:53 of boundaries. - Yeah, let's do that. 21:54 - Let me give you some examples of boundaries. 21:55 Some of the examples of boundaries 21:57 that we are talking about. - Now, you have a whole... 22:00 - Yeah. - A whole textbook, here. 22:01 - Friendly, smiling and looking. That's one boundary. 22:04 Yeah, I'm just checking you out, Kay? 22:06 I'm not into you, just example everybody. 22:08 That's friendly, looking, smile. 22:10 - Well, this is a friendship thing, this is a friendship 22:13 it has nothing really to do with... 22:15 - You Know, when you give somebody... oh, ok, you look 22:17 kind of good over there in that blue shirt. 22:19 Just giving an example, sir. Ok. 22:22 Talking on the phone is another boundary, 22:24 writing letters, yeah well back in the day we used to 22:28 write notes. 22:29 I got a spanking in the second grade for 22:31 writing notes, I don't think kids do that... 22:33 You know what I'm taking about. 22:35 Oh, I love you. I don't like you. 22:38 You are not my friend. Ok. 22:40 Writing letters. Spending time with 22:42 his or her family, holding hands, putting 22:45 your hands around each other, cuddling and kissing, 22:49 keeping late hours, touching above the waist 22:52 touching below the waist and then having sex. 22:55 So we talk about boundaries. 22:57 And what I wanna know is I want the kids to figure out 23:01 what it is inappropriate, stopping place for you? 23:05 Now, I make the parents go through it, too. 23:07 Actually, I make the parents go through it first, 23:08 and it's interesting that when one of these are sharing 23:11 with you is when we have... Let's for example, 23:15 hypothetical, we have a mom and a dad, 23:17 and lets say they have a son, a teenage son. 23:20 It's interesting that the father will be 23:23 at a different stopping point than the mother, 23:25 for their son. 23:29 But if it is a girl, the father will be at some place 23:33 and the mother will be at some place too, and it tends to be 23:35 the first boundary, which is friendly, smiling and looking. 23:38 If not I don't what you doing that. 23:40 - The dad becomes very protective. 23:42 - Oh, yeah. - Very protective... 23:43 - Even in my house, my father... 23:45 There's things that my brothers could do, 23:47 I'm the only girl, I have three brothers, 23:48 that I couldn't do. 23:50 My brothers could go and see young ladies, 23:53 and they would take my things, and give them to their... 23:56 you know, these little girls. 23:58 You know, I would make stuff in pathfinders and the next 24:00 thing I know my brothers, this little girl that he thought 24:03 was so cute, she'd come with my stuff from pathfinders. 24:07 Oh, you need to give me that back honey, that's mine. 24:09 But then if I was interested in a boy, oh no 24:12 Donna, you are not going out of this house, 24:14 you are not... You cannot date until 24:16 you are 33. 24:19 You know... It's difference, but what we're 24:22 talking about is trying to get parents and children 24:25 in a dialogue, communicating, because if you don't establish 24:29 your boundaries somebody else will. 24:32 And what I do in my classrooms we role play. 24:35 You know, you start... take a young man sitting there 24:39 put my arm around him; I don't know about you, 24:41 but that happened to me actually on a date of mine... 24:46 Ups... 24:47 Where did that come from, get your hand... 24:49 Where did this come from? 24:51 But one of the things that we realized is that 24:54 if kids have the information that they need in the situation 24:59 they'll make a better choice. 25:00 If they don't have the information, then somebody else 25:03 makes that choice for them. - Ok. 25:05 We're gonna do a little role play here. 25:06 - Ok. 25:08 You got to get close to me. - Oh... ok, hear... 25:12 Oh, Donna, it's so good to be with you. 25:15 - Ok. - Ok. 25:16 - Can we take this up to 2004? 25:19 - Can we take this up to 2004? 25:21 - Oh, Donna... 25:23 Ok. 25:24 - Let's take it up to 2004. 25:27 Ok, you look so good, hm, hm, hm... 25:33 - Ok. 25:34 - You wear that outfit well. 25:36 That's the first thing. No boy or girl has the right 25:40 to look you up and down. 25:42 They need to know NO. - Ok. 25:47 I had a student of mine, came from juvenile jail... 25:52 he was out of school... came like the very end, 25:57 like the last month of school. 25:59 He wasn't gonna get any credits from me, I mean, there's no way 26:01 You can't show up a month before school's out. 26:04 And he came in and he's like ok, here's this teacher 26:07 and he came and did one of these and he walked around me. 26:11 I said, walk around me again and I'm gonna send your 26:14 behind home and you'll be suspended for 5 days. 26:17 Don't you ever look at me like that and don't you ever hm, hm.. 26:22 You don't do that, that's inappropriate. 26:24 In what I'm talking about, that's how it gets started, 26:28 but if you don't say anything and you say: Oh... 26:32 You send the wrong message, that is ok. 26:35 So then it goes from ok, you look so good, 26:39 let me get... uh... and they'll get close. 26:43 Now, used to be that there was a personal space, 26:47 between... I mean this is personal space, 26:51 and you had to get permission to come into that personal space. 26:55 Now, young men and even young girls, they'll take it. 27:00 They'll take it. 27:01 I gonna get in your face, I'm gonna take what I want 27:05 and they may even put their hands on you. 27:07 And they think that that's ok. 27:09 And like I said, one thing leads to another, 27:11 leads to another, I think that's a song, 27:14 leads to another, and if you don't stop it, 27:17 when it starts you're gonna find yourself in situations, 27:22 or positions that you never dreamed yourself to be in. 27:26 You never dreamed... How did this guy... 27:28 His hands are all over me and I didn't... 27:31 - Ok, let us take that. Hands all over you, 27:33 what do you say? What do you tell these kids? 27:35 - You get that boy or that girl off of you, 27:38 you do what you have to do, but get them off of you. 27:41 - Words, give me if you were a girl... 27:43 - If you have to hit them, kick them whatever, 27:44 get them off of you. 27:47 I'm... I'm... Sometimes, unfortunately 27:50 you know, words don't mean everything. 27:53 I don't wear a wedding ring and the first day of school, 27:56 because I don't look my age, I got approached 27:59 by a security guard. 28:01 Hey, you good looking... Excuse me, I'm married! 28:04 In fact this past Wednesday, I was at McDonald's, 28:08 I was coming from an appointment and I couldn't make it home and 28:11 I said I got to get something in my stomach, 28:13 I can't make it home from the doctor's appointment 28:15 'cause we're gonna just have an accident here. 28:17 An older gentleman said: Oh, let me talk to this fine 28:21 young thing... And I'm like, oh Lord... 28:23 I'm here throwing up, I got to address this. 28:27 I told him, excuse me Sir you might not want to dialogue 28:30 with me like that because I don't dialogue with 28:32 anybody like that and I'm happily married, 28:34 which is none of his business, but I said I'm happily married. 28:36 He said: Well, since your husband had you, 28:39 why don't let me have you. 28:41 And I told him, I said, that's inappropriate, you do not talk 28:45 to me that way. I spoke to the manager, 28:48 and he's kind of been terminated. 28:50 But you know, those were the things that 28:52 that's inappropriate. And if you walk the walk, 28:56 you've got to talk the talk, all the time. 28:58 You don't have to... A ring is not gonna stop 29:01 somebody from approaching you, even if you could put on 29:04 a dress that covers from here to here. 29:06 It's not gonna stop somebody if they want talk to you, 29:09 or try to get... see how far they can go. 29:12 But you've got set the standard for what is gonna happen 29:16 in my personal sphere. 29:18 - Hey, I got to take you to kissing 29:21 because that's the big one. 29:23 You go out one day, you kiss what is the boundary...? 29:29 - The kids understand... Kids need to understand 29:31 The young people need to understand, the adults need 29:33 to understand: kissing is a part of foreplay. 29:36 Kissing, holding hands, putting the arms around 29:40 somebody, whispering things in your ears, kissing on your neck, 29:43 all of it is leading and preparing the body for sex. 29:48 When you understand in that concept then it's like: 29:52 Oh, well yeah, I may still wanna kiss this boy 29:54 and I may still wanna hold his hands, but you know what? 29:58 We need to talk about this and we can wait. 30:00 You know, you can still kiss me on the hand. 30:02 - Here... 30:03 Wrap your lips right there. 30:05 Ok. Feels good, thank you. 30:07 You know, move on. 30:08 But I mean, when you understand what this is for 30:12 and the meaning behind this it changes your whole paradigm. 30:15 And what we're talking about is we want young people to have 30:19 a paradigm shift. 30:20 I don't expect every kid that I ever talked to, 30:23 whether in the church or out of the church, 30:25 or in the school, or in the community to be a virgin. 30:28 I don't expect every kid, after they hear me: 30:31 I'm never having sex again because of Donna Teat. 30:34 That's not my job. My job is to plant the seed, 30:37 and it's the Holy Spirit's job is to convert and convict. 30:42 And what I want young people to understand is that 30:46 when they find themselves in those situations, 30:50 that the Lord will bring back to remember something, 30:53 anything. You know, I've changed 30:55 the way a pray. I used to... 30:57 Dear Heavenly Father be with my students 30:59 and put a hedge of pro... 31:00 NO. Dear Heavenly Father, 31:01 would this young man is planning to do this 31:03 to this young lady, or this young lady 31:05 is planning to do this to this young man 31:06 at 6 o'clock tonight, cause you know, my students 31:09 tell me everything. They're planning to do this 31:11 or this weekend. I ask that You intercede 31:15 some ways, somehow. Stop it, yank it off, 31:18 whatever, I mean whatever You got to do, You do. 31:21 And when I tell the kids, I tell the kids 31:23 when I'm praying for them and they are like: 31:25 Miss Teat, you're messing up my groove. 31:27 That's my job, I'm supposed to mess up 31:29 your groove. 31:30 You know, cause you're not gonna ever, 31:33 you're not gonna ever hear me tell you 31:35 I don't care what your mom says, I don't care what 31:37 your father says, I don't care if you have condoms 31:39 in your pocket right now. In fact, give me your wallet. 31:42 Oh, Miss Teat... I don't care, 31:44 but I do care about you and I wanna see you 31:47 next year or five years from now, 31:49 and I want you to be healthy, I want you to be prosperous, 31:52 I want you to be in a loving relationship, 31:55 the one that God has for you. You may not believe in God 31:57 oh well, I do, you don't that's ok. 32:00 I still pray for you too. 32:01 But, you know, this is what I want for you because 32:04 what the world has for you? 32:06 There's nothing else there for you. 32:08 - And parents sometimes send double messages. 32:12 I don't want you to have sex, but if you are going to 32:17 then maybe you should have some protection. 32:19 - One of the things... Parents. 32:21 If you decide you're going to have sex let me know. 32:25 No, you don't wanna know. 32:27 I mean... let me know. When you've decided that 32:30 let me know. No, you want to know before 32:32 they made that decision. 32:33 You know, you don't want them to decide, 32:35 then do, then let you know. That's not what you're saying. 32:38 That's not what you're saying. 32:40 We don't send information clearly. 32:43 We don't send the right signal. 32:46 I remember when I came home from Oakwood College, 32:51 and my first year I came back on home leave, 32:53 it was a break or something like that. 32:56 And I had... people tell me: 32:58 so when do you getting married? 33:00 So, you got a man? You got a boyfriend? 33:02 What's wrong with you? 33:03 And I really... I would hear this all the time, 33:06 every time I'm getting home. 33:07 That before I graduated from the school, 33:09 I was supposed to have been married, I was supposed 33:12 to have done this, and do that, and everything, 33:14 and I thought something, is something wrong with me? 33:16 'Cause I'm not doing this. 33:17 We say we want you to wait but then you turn around 33:20 and we put the pressure on in other ways. 33:23 Or we don't create an environment which celebrates 33:27 waiting for Christ. 33:28 - Oh, Donna we'd be talking so much about preventing 33:32 teenage pregnancy, but I mean we've got 33:35 900,000 girls who are pregnant in U.S alone. 33:42 Once you are pregnant, it's too late talk about 33:46 what I wish I would have done. 33:47 Now, how are we going to respond to these girls 33:51 that are pregnant? What is society... 33:53 How are they treating them? 33:54 - Twofold. One, it's not too late 33:57 to talk about how to prevent it because statistics 34:00 will tell you that if a child, if a teenager has had 34:03 one pregnancy the likelihood of them repeating and having 34:07 another pregnancy is high within another year. 34:11 It's high. 34:13 So, it's good to talk about hey, we don't want 34:16 to go down that road. 34:17 The second thing... What was the second part 34:19 of your question? 34:20 - How should we respond to the girl who's pregnant? 34:23 - We should... One thing that I heard 34:27 at a Christian radio is how a church responded. 34:32 And I think that's the wonderful model that schools, 34:35 communities, churches, families need to take. 34:38 And this young lady, in this particular congregation 34:41 got pregnant and the pastor found about it. 34:45 In the following Sunday, immediately he brought her 34:49 in front of everybody, and from of the pulpit and he said: 34:53 This young lady is pregnant. 34:55 We're not gonna talk about her, we're not gonna whisper behind 34:59 her back, I don't like what she did, we don't like the choices 35:02 that she made, but we're gonna surround 35:05 this young lady and we're gonna put 35:07 a hedge of protection about her. 35:08 We're gonna take care of the child, we're gonna do whatever 35:12 we need to do to give her the support and the love 35:15 that she needs. And that's redemption. 35:18 That's redemption. - That's redemption. 35:19 - And it sends a clear message, it gets the roomers 35:24 and the gossiping and all that stuff out of the way 35:27 and it tells, it sends a clear message to the other 35:31 young people, this is an unacceptable 35:33 behavior, but it also... we can surround this person 35:37 and bring them back into the fold. 35:39 And that's a wonderful thing. Do you think she'll still be 35:41 in church, do you think that she'll be attending, 35:44 do you think that she we'll form closer relationships 35:46 with more adults than what she had before? 35:49 Now she's got aunts and uncles, fictive or pretend cousins 35:53 and relatives who care about her and care about her welfare. 35:58 And when you find out that somebody cares about 36:01 your welfare, you aim to please. 36:03 You do whatever it takes to please them. 36:05 - Cassandra kind of said something like that 36:09 in her testimony, that the importance of God 36:13 in her life, parents in her life and how her parents 36:17 came through and really loved her, 36:19 even though she did disappoint them. 36:22 - Right, and it's ok to tell young people: 36:24 You disappointed me. 36:26 You disappointed me. And it's not easy. 36:30 You talked about some other things that people's response 36:33 or communities' response. 36:34 One of the challenges that I see while I was pregnant 36:37 with my first pregnancy, I had some of my teenagers 36:40 in my classes were pregnant at the same time. 36:44 And absentees in the school is a big thing. 36:47 Because there's no day care, there's no child care 36:50 there's nobody to take care of them while you go to school 36:55 all day and you need that extra support. 36:58 Typically is a challenge for young people to be pregnant 37:01 and have a baby in? school and finish 37:03 their education. And it messes up 37:05 your education. It takes you a little bit longer 37:08 or there are programs that you can go to night school, 37:11 you can pursue this or whatever and a lot of people think 37:14 Oh, I'm gonna get my GED. 37:16 I looked at the GED. The GED is harder I think 37:20 than completing four years of high school. 37:23 The GED is no joke, it's not an easy out 37:26 or out droop out of school. 37:27 That's not an option either. 37:30 Now, young girls, of course Cassandra was 17 37:33 but kids of 14, 15 maybe even 13 are having... 37:39 -9, 10, 11, 12... yes... - Are having babies. 37:44 - Yes. 37:46 - Now, these are children having children 37:49 and many of course think oh, I'm gonna have a baby 37:52 at last somebody will love me. 37:54 I'm going to have something, somebody that will love me. 37:58 How do you deal with this? 38:00 - One of the things in the school, 38:01 there's been an initiative of 38:03 baby think it over doll and I don't know how many 38:05 people are familiar with this baby think it over doll. 38:08 The doll comes... The doll was actually designed. 38:12 The father, he's a mechanical engineer and his daughter 38:16 was coming home pretending that a sack of flowers 38:19 was her baby and she had to love this thing. 38:22 He said: ah, that's not a true representation of a baby 38:26 and he came up with this baby think it over doll 38:28 and one of the things that the schools have done is 38:30 that this baby can be programmed by the classroom teacher 38:34 to have different responses: cry extremely all night long, 38:37 or whatever; and what happens is 38:39 there's a computer chip in the back of this doll. 38:43 What it does is, it records everything you do. 38:47 If you allowed the child to cry too long, 38:50 you forcibly... stop crying and you did this. 38:52 Because it's been a wonderful avenue to find out if kids 38:56 have the propensity to be abusers. 39:00 Because it's programmed, crying non stop 39:03 and it's supposed to simulate 39:06 what it would be to have a child. 39:08 Children to have a child, because you think, 39:11 that's a myth, that you think this child 39:14 is a turn-around and say I love you. 39:16 No, feed me, clean me, change my diaper and leave me alone. 39:22 We have a clip, one more clip from Cassandra, 39:26 where she talks about being a teenage mother, 39:30 and it's not easy. Let's take a look. 39:34 - Being a mother was very hard for me, is very hard 39:39 You have to worry about where the next meal 39:43 is coming from, a roof over your head, 39:48 just all the financial and emotional responsibilities 39:52 that come along with it. 39:54 And... along with being a mother I was a teenage mom. 40:00 So was more hard than I really expected it to be, 40:05 because I wasn't mature yet I didn't expect a lot of... 40:10 that emotional distress that I had. 40:15 Through all of these things, my parents were there for me. 40:20 I was able to go to a special school for teen mums, 40:23 that took care of my baby while I went to school. 40:27 And I did walk closer with God and He helped me through 40:34 all these things also. I was able to get back 40:38 into church and be baptized again and I became choir leader 40:45 and I just took more involvement 40:49 in church and my daughter's life. 40:53 - I think is so important to have that support from others 40:57 during this time because it's difficult to have children 41:01 and be a young mother anyway. - True. 41:04 And one of the things that Cassandra brought out 41:08 teens who have, teens who decide to play grownup. 41:12 That's not really how I wanna word it, but teens who do 41:16 adult behavior. They need to live with 41:18 adult consequences 41:20 - And responsibilities. - And responsibilities. 41:22 In a lot of times in our society we say as parents: 41:25 I don't want my child to go through what I went through. 41:28 I don't want my child to have to walk 3 miles to school, 41:31 I don't want my child to have to suffer or do this. 41:34 As if all the experiences that we went through, 41:37 we turned out that bad?! 41:39 No, kids need to assume those responsibilities, they need 41:42 to know how it feels like a 2 o'clock in the morning, 41:44 that child cries and at 3 o'clock and at 4 o'clock 41:47 and at 5 o'clock. - You can't go out 41:48 with your friends, because you have a baby. 41:50 - But if you take all the consequences away from them 41:53 how, will then they expect to do differently? 41:57 Because now I got an instant babysitter and I can still be 42:01 and do what I wanna do. 42:03 Yes, you can still accomplish and do your... 42:05 Accomplish goals and live your dreams, 42:09 but you also have a responsibility 42:11 to that child first. 42:13 - Yes, yes. Well, in just a moment 42:16 we're gonna find out what our live audience 42:20 thinks about this, and we're also going to 42:23 take their questions, so stay with us 42:26 and we'll be right back. 42:37 - Are you a teen struggling to grasp the fact 42:40 that you're pregnant or do you know a pregnant 42:42 teen and you're wondering how you can help? 42:44 If so we have just the material for you. 42:46 Find information and help in four brochures, 42:49 that deal with issues surrounding a teen pregnancy. 42:51 For your free gift just write to us today at: 42:58 or call us during regular business hours at: 43:06 Ask the Up Close offer number 4. 43:23 - Welcome back to Up Close. Our topic today 43:27 is teen pregnancy and we've taken a look 43:30 at problems teens face when they discover 43:33 that they're pregnant, we've also looked 43:35 at how we can support and be supportive, 43:37 and how we can prevent the situation from happening. 43:41 But we want to open up the program now for questions, 43:45 from our wonderful audience and Donna I think they 43:49 are going to have some great questions. 43:51 Are you ready? 43:53 - We're ready. - Ok. 43:54 Please tell us your name and your question. 43:58 - My name is Clarene and I'm a nurse at OB4, 44:01 I've worked with obstetrical nursing for almost 13 years. 44:04 So one of the comments I want to make before 44:06 I ask my question is one of the things 44:08 this topic is dear to my heart that I have noticed 44:10 that the obstetrical nursing is that teens model 44:13 the parents' behavior. 44:14 You cannot ask your teen to be abstinent if you as an adult 44:18 whether you're married or single can't do that yourself. 44:21 So that's one thing that I've noticed. 44:24 The second thing is now you talked about tools 44:27 that you can give your teen. 44:28 One of the tools that we have done with my teenage daughter 44:32 is that we've done, we call it key talk 44:34 and there is when you take an evening with your daughter 44:37 if it's the mother or the father with the son 44:40 and talk about sex, talk about STDES, 44:42 any questions that they can they can open themselves up 44:45 and get them to commit to what it means to be pure 44:48 and that they want that because it's beneficial to them. 44:51 And then you give them a memento of that evening. 44:54 We did a watch so that when they're away from you 44:58 daily to daily reminder of what they have committed to. 45:02 Now, you've done all that and your teen comes to you and says: 45:06 I'm gonna have sex. Then what do you do? 45:09 That's my question. 45:10 - No you are not gonna have sex. 45:13 I'm gonna lock you up, we're gonna pray over you tonight 45:17 we're gonna lay hands, we're gonna call in all the elders 45:21 you said: what? 45:22 Your mom, your dad, everybody... you need help. 45:25 And you know what? If a child is determined 45:29 the more you tell them no, they're determined to do it, 45:33 you need the Holy Spirit. 45:34 And you know what there's nothing wrong. 45:36 Kids need to see you on your knees in prayer, 45:39 laboring over them. 45:41 And if you have a kid who's determined to... 45:46 I used to be a knuckleheaded. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, 45:50 when I'm gonna do it. 45:51 And sometimes, unfortunately there are groups of individuals 45:55 who have to learn the hard way. 45:57 But that does mean that we stop laboring 45:59 and lingering over them. 46:01 There's nothing wrong in bringing people together 46:04 who have invested interest in that child and say: 46:07 we're gonna pray, we're gonna pray you through this 46:10 and we're gonna pray over you and we're gonna... 46:12 maybe we need to increase the amount of the time 46:15 that you're spending with mom and dad. 46:17 We're going on a vacation today. 46:19 You do whatever... That's your child, 46:21 that's your baby, you do whatever it is 46:24 you have to do to stop them from making that course. 46:28 There's a wonderful book, wonderful author that is quoted 46:33 by Mohamed Ali? and everything and they even call her 46:36 Doctor White. But she talks about, 46:38 if you saw your child getting ready to walk over a precipice 46:44 wouldn't you do everything to pull them back? 46:46 And that's our job, to pull them back. 46:49 One of the things that I wanted to say and congratulate you 46:52 on, is that fact that you're spending time with 46:55 your teenagers and you have a special day or time 46:57 that you have, and I've started to do that with my 47:00 a year and a half old son. 47:02 I take him out to eat, him and I. 47:04 What better way for him to learn how a young lady should 47:08 treat him, then him spending time with me. 47:12 And if this child happens to be a girl my husband will do 47:15 the same thing. They need that personal time. 47:18 That's a wonderful time. - Good. 47:20 - Well, I think we have another question, your name? 47:23 - Yes, my name in Derrick and my question was how do you 47:27 successfully advise a pre-teen who's already engaging in 47:30 premarital sex not to even though you're so far 47:34 away from them? 47:35 - Number one: tell them what they're doing 47:37 is wrong. Tell them what they're doing 47:39 there are consequences. Number two: 47:42 pray with them, pray for them. 47:45 Number three: Find out whoever their parents, 47:50 you need to talk to somebody. 47:51 Because you're not there on a day to day basis and 47:55 this whole, you know the devil, your secrecy, and not talking 48:00 and not sharing, but you need to tell someone. 48:04 Tell someone, listen this is some information 48:07 and I am concerned for your life. 48:10 I rate that on the same level as somebody saying: 48:13 life is not worth living, I wanna kill myself. 48:15 I'm gonna tell someone, because I love you 48:18 that much. They may be angry with you, 48:20 they may call you every name in the book, but that's 48:22 ok, 'cause I still love you from a distance. 48:26 - I was thinking, as the question came. 48:28 What about a Spiritual virginity that you were talking about, 48:32 before we came on the program? You mentioned that to me: 48:37 secondary virginity. 48:38 - What I tell young people is that you can become a virgin 48:42 again, Spiritual virgin again. 48:44 The Lord says: "I will remember your sin 48:46 no more. " I tell the young people, 48:49 in my... I run a youth group and I tell them, who do you call 48:53 in an emergency, what number do you dial? 48:55 911. Well, put it backwards: 119, 48:59 First John 1, verse 9: "If you confess our sins, 49:04 He is faithful in just". And that's what I tell 49:08 my young people. 49:09 I don't care, I tell my young people in school 49:11 if you confess, He is faithful in just to remove it 49:15 and cleanse it. You can start again. 49:17 He says you can start again, He adopts us into his family. 49:21 - And that needs to be a message. 49:23 - And that's the message 49:25 that you can become a Spiritual virgin again. 49:27 - Beautiful. Hey, we got another question. 49:30 Your name? - Hey my name is Janette 49:32 and I used to work for the Orange County Public Schools 49:35 and there I was a Para- professional, children would 49:38 come up to me, you know, give me information or secrets. 49:42 Well, they want things to be confidential. 49:44 What do you do in that... as the question before me. 49:48 You almost answered it but this is where you don't know 49:51 the parent, you're working in a public school so where 49:54 do you say stop, between confidentiality and trying 49:58 to save that child. 50:00 - Confidentiality is very, very important, anything 50:04 that is going harm, risk that child it's your duty to tell. 50:10 One of the things that I have, I work with 50:12 a Para-professional, as well. 50:14 I'm special education so, we appreciate you. 50:19 I have kids who would tell my Para-professional 50:21 things that they won't tell me, 'cause... 50:24 Miss Teat, if she finds out, she's gonna be mad at me, 50:27 she's gonna... oh she's gonna kill me if she finds out. 50:30 My Para-professional tells me everything. 50:33 We established that from the get-go. 50:35 In that classroom, whatever teacher you're working with 50:38 ideally, you should have a close enough working relationship. 50:41 You need to tell them because that teacher should have been 50:44 trained and equipped to be able to handle those 50:47 kind of situations. If not, there's a school 50:50 social worker, there are behavioral... 50:55 now in this day and age 50:57 we have a lot of behavioral medical individuals 51:01 who are coming into our school, case managers, therapists, 51:06 those kind of things. We have that kind of a crisis 51:08 team within our school building. 51:10 And, my Para-professional she tells me everything 51:13 and I go and I confront that student, I will find 51:16 the student before they leave home that day, 51:19 they will hear from Miss Teat, whatever, and we'll talk 51:23 about it. I had in the same situation, 51:26 occurred this past year, I had a student who 51:29 was pregnant and did not tell their parents. 51:31 We went... I called that mom and we told the parents, 51:35 because I don't want the kids to think that I'm an adult 51:39 who's going to keep secrets from their parents. 51:41 Parents need to be involved with this process and they need 51:44 to know what's going on and most of the time they have 51:46 no idea. 51:48 - And I think they probably respect you when you take that 51:51 stand, I mean they may not like it first, but... 51:54 - Well, they wanna know that they're gonna be loved, 51:56 that you're gonna still be there and you're gonna work 51:59 through this situation with them, you're not leaving them. 52:01 - You care enough, - You care enough, 52:03 you're gonna stick it out with them. 52:05 - Very good, very good. 52:06 We have another question, your name? 52:08 - Hey, my name is Wanda and I have a nine and a half year old 52:11 and since the time she was young we've had a good relationship, 52:15 I've talked to her about the differences between 52:17 boys and girls and when I was pregnant with my three year old 52:20 we talked about, feel development, 52:23 and so she has a good understanding of that. 52:25 I was wanting to wait to get into the specific, 52:28 until she was a little older wanting to keep her innocent 52:33 as long as possible, but I'm wondering maybe... 52:36 I don't want to hear from her friends... 52:38 What is the ideal age to start talking about 52:41 the particulars of this? 52:42 First of all continue that close relationship with your child, 52:46 and tell your daughter: do you have any questions? 52:48 If she goes to a public school, private school, whatever 52:51 what are your friends are talking about? 52:52 In fact, invite her friends over your house and listen 52:55 what they're talking about. You've find out quickly what 52:57 they're talking about. Now the other thing is 53:01 right now at 9 years of age, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2. 53:05 Kids need to know that people do not touch you 53:08 in certain places. They don't put your hands 53:11 on you. And if anybody, 53:13 she may not be ready for a whole big discussion on the 53:17 birds and the bees and you don't have to do 53:18 a whole big discussion. I think that's what scares 53:20 parents: Oh Lord, have mercy. 53:23 What am I gonna say, but let her know 53:25 what's appropriate and what's inappropriate, 53:28 for adults, churchmen, anybody. 53:30 And if that happens come and you can ask her 53:34 did anybody or anything and that's ok. 53:39 - Well, Donna we have just about came to the end. 53:42 But before we close I want your final thoughts, words of wisdom 53:48 that are really gonna help us, really speak to us 53:52 maybe speak to the young teenager who's 53:55 pregnant right now. 53:56 - For the young teenager who's pregnant, you know 53:59 you're not alone, God is so faithful, He's right 54:02 there in the situation with you. 54:04 Don't give up, don't loose despair and if it may seem like 54:08 everything around you is dark and there's no glimmering light, 54:12 but you hang on to the Lord. Read and immerse yourself 54:16 in everything that you possibly can, Lord... 54:19 Encouraging text: Lord, I'm not gonna leave you 54:22 until you bless me, kind of like Jacob, 54:23 I'm holding on to you. You do whatever it takes. 54:26 Lord, I'm not gonna go through this situation 54:28 until you bless me. 54:29 And for the teen who's thinking about it, I pray that whatever 54:34 I said, if you remember nothing else that you remember 54:37 one thing; that God has something so special 54:41 for you, you have no idea. 54:43 And if you wanna have the best sex, the best relationship 54:47 the best... hook up with God. 54:50 In fact, if you wanna read about sex just open the Bible. 54:54 You wanna read about... That's the best novel, 54:59 fast action, drama, whatever it is you're into, 55:05 it's in the Bible. 55:06 Somebody did it, done it, been there, been there, 55:09 you know, that king of thing. 55:10 But immerse yourself with what God wants you to, 55:13 because He says: "If you honor Me, 55:15 I'm gonna honor you. " 55:17 And I'm gonna cause you to ride upon the high places. 55:20 We don't know what that ride is like, 'cause we keep trying 55:24 to help God out, quit helping Him out. 55:26 He knows what you need and He... make a list. 55:29 Lord this is what I want in my life, 55:32 by age 20, by age 26, whatever, whatever. 55:35 And the Lord honor those, when you immerse yourself with Him. 55:39 He immerses yourself with you. 55:41 - Wow. Thank you so much. 55:51 We've all learned so much, so much... 55:53 We want to thank you for being with us and we want to thank 55:57 Cassandra Thomson too for sharing with us, even though she 56:01 couldn't be with us personally. 56:03 I think that's very special what she shared with us. 56:07 You know, God didn't give sex to single people. 56:11 He gave it to husbands and wives for procreation, 56:15 for enjoyment, and most of all as a symbol 56:19 of life time one flesh commitment. 56:23 This is a symbol of commitment. 56:27 And God says in Jeremiah 29:11: 56:30 "I know the plans that I have for you, plans for good 56:34 and not for evil. 56:35 To give you a future and a hope. " 56:38 Pregnancy should be the most exciting, wonderful time 56:42 in a girl's life as she feels her body change, 56:45 as she's bringing that new life into being. 56:49 But getting pregnant too soon without life time commitment 56:55 between the single mother and the single father, 57:00 it can be devastating. It can change a whole course 57:04 of a person's life. But God can redeem, 57:08 and I think that's what we've learned from this program 57:10 today: God can redeem. 57:12 Because of the choices we make God sometimes has to go 57:16 to plan B for our lives. But regardless, 57:19 of the circumstances you find yourself in God can teach you, 57:23 He can help you become a kind, loving and wise mother, 57:27 or a kind and loving father. He can give you the desires 57:31 of your heart, if you'll just commit your life to Him. 57:36 If you happen to find yourself pregnant too soon, 57:40 I'd suggest reading Psalms 37, at least you can start 57:44 there and I believe you will find courage. |
Revised 2014-12-17