Stay tuned to meet a man
who's been fired 13 times,
00:00:01.86\00:00:05.93
never ever
received a job promotion,
00:00:05.97\00:00:08.10
and 39 years of employment
00:00:08.14\00:00:10.41
and has been
employed in most jobs
00:00:10.44\00:00:12.47
only for a total of 3 years.
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You'll find out how
his life has changed
00:00:14.81\00:00:17.21
and how you can
change yours as well.
00:00:17.25\00:00:19.58
My name is Yvonne Lewis
00:00:19.61\00:00:21.18
and you're
watching Urban Report.
00:00:21.22\00:00:23.28
Hello and
welcome to Urban Report.
00:00:46.78\00:00:49.04
My guest today is Tim Allston,
he's an author, speaker,
00:00:49.08\00:00:54.65
and he wrote Introduction
to Ego Holistic Recovering.
00:00:54.68\00:00:59.82
Welcome again to Urban Report.
00:00:59.85\00:01:02.06
Thanks, Yvonne. Thank you.
00:01:02.09\00:01:03.53
I say again because you've
been on Urban Report before.
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I think you were on with Jason
and he interviewed you at ASI.
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And you interviewed me at
ASI in 2012 in Cincinnati.
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That's when I worked for Oakwood
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before it fired me
for the third time,
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but I'm getting ahead of myself.
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Well, see we can
laugh about that now,
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but I'm sure as
it was happening,
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it wasn't funny.
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Let's talk about you
for a minute, your journey.
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You have been this
remarkable PR person.
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I mean, I met you years
ago and I had heard about you
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through my cousin
Patti Conwell, who...
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My mentor. Oh, was she? Oh, wow.
00:01:44.13\00:01:46.20
Is she your
mentor? She is my mentor.
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Yeah, she likes to
say that I'm her mentor,
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but she's really my mentor.
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She's
incredible. She's incredible.
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She had told me
about you years ago.
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And then I met you for myself
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and I just have
been so impressed.
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And I think this
is probably not good
00:02:00.48\00:02:03.45
given the fact that you
wrote a bit on the egotism,
00:02:03.49\00:02:08.59
but anyway, I just have
to say the gifts that God
00:02:08.62\00:02:11.39
has given you
have been enormous,
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and yet, you call yourself
a celebrated serial failure.
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Yes. Explain why?
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Surely.
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Like you,
Yvonne, I had everything.
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I was raised in
a Christian home,
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loving Christian parents,
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raised us in church school,
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Seventh-day
Adventist church school,
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but I did not
appreciate the wealth that I had
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and so after going
through years of church school,
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going through
all of that process,
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at the end of ninth grade,
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when I was in
Greater Boston Academy,
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I got tired of being good,
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I got tired of being a good boy.
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I wanted to go out and to
see what the world had to offer
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and I begged my parents
00:02:58.51\00:02:59.84
in that summer
of 1969 at age 14,
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"Please let me leave
church school to go to see
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if all of this
background you've given me
00:03:06.48\00:03:09.02
can stand the test of time."
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And so reluctantly,
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Thursday morning, July 24, 1969,
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my father and I
were riding in the car
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and he said, "Tim," he said,
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"you've never really
given us any real problems.
00:03:19.89\00:03:22.06
You want to go to
public high school,
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to a local public high school,
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Everett High School,
Everett, Massachusetts.
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He said, "For this first
year, we will, Mommy and I,
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your mother and I will allow you
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to go to public school."
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I was stunned
00:03:32.71\00:03:34.04
because my parents
believe in SDA education
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and then there's nothing.
00:03:36.54\00:03:37.95
They believe in
the three braided cord
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and that is church at home,
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church at
school, church at church.
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And so for them to
have made that decision,
00:03:44.79\00:03:47.92
I was stunned
and what I did was,
00:03:47.96\00:03:49.62
sitting in my car,
in my parent's car,
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in a 1961 Chevy
Parkwood station wagon,
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sitting in the passenger seat,
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I looked down at
the dashboard clock,
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it was 11:38 in the morning.
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And I said, "Remember
this, is a red letter day."
00:04:01.14\00:04:02.97
I was stunned.
00:04:03.00\00:04:04.34
But then my
father said something
00:04:04.37\00:04:05.71
that was very prophetic.
00:04:05.74\00:04:07.08
He said "Timmy,"
that's what they called me,
00:04:07.11\00:04:08.51
"we know what's going to happen,
00:04:08.54\00:04:11.11
but you need to
experience it for yourself."
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Looking back now,
00:04:13.72\00:04:15.18
it was arguably
the worst decision
00:04:15.22\00:04:17.95
I had ever made.
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There's nothing
wrong with public school,
00:04:19.69\00:04:21.86
however, I had been
in faith-based school
00:04:21.89\00:04:24.13
all that formal education.
00:04:24.16\00:04:26.46
In faith-based institutions,
whether Seventh-day Adventist,
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Baptist,
Presbyterian, Episcopal,
00:04:28.76\00:04:30.87
the focus is on Jesus.
00:04:30.90\00:04:33.07
Everything is
measured up to Jesus.
00:04:33.10\00:04:36.00
So it is Christ
centered or Christocentric.
00:04:36.04\00:04:39.17
When you leave a
faith-based environment,
00:04:39.21\00:04:41.14
and for me, going to a
public, even a private school,
00:04:41.18\00:04:44.45
the emphasis is
about you, developing you,
00:04:44.48\00:04:47.98
be all that you
can be, be the best,
00:04:48.02\00:04:49.85
so the focus is
not Christ centered,
00:04:49.88\00:04:53.56
it's self
centered, or egocentric,
00:04:53.59\00:04:56.73
and what began then was
a slow imperceptible slide.
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What I did was,
00:05:01.40\00:05:02.73
and it resembled
the prodigal son story.
00:05:02.76\00:05:05.43
I said to my parents,
"Give me my inheritance.
00:05:05.47\00:05:09.54
Give me my space."
00:05:09.57\00:05:10.94
So they gave me my S, my smarts,
00:05:10.97\00:05:13.58
they gave me my
P, my principles,
00:05:13.61\00:05:15.91
they gave me my A, my
sense of articulation,
00:05:15.94\00:05:18.55
they gave me my C,
my charm and charisma,
00:05:18.58\00:05:21.02
and they gave me that E,
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which to some say
00:05:22.42\00:05:23.75
I was probably easy on the eyes.
00:05:23.79\00:05:25.12
So I took that
S-P-A-C-E and went out there,
00:05:25.15\00:05:28.76
but because I had
no spiritual moorings,
00:05:28.79\00:05:30.96
I became the
S-P-A-C-E, space cadet.
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It's not funny.
00:05:35.13\00:05:36.46
Is it, is it,
00:05:36.50\00:05:37.83
looking back on
it now is very funny.
00:05:37.87\00:05:39.20
I mean, I
achieved all kinds things.
00:05:39.23\00:05:41.40
I was the state
oratorical champion.
00:05:41.44\00:05:43.41
I lettered in sports,
you know, I got scholarships
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but little by little by little
00:05:47.01\00:05:49.81
my spiritual
moorings began to slip away.
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Went into college,
the same kind of things,
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became involved
in my fraternity,
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became student body president,
00:05:56.92\00:05:58.42
had job offers,
00:05:58.45\00:05:59.79
but I began to slip
away little by little.
00:05:59.82\00:06:03.22
So that three-braided cord
00:06:03.26\00:06:04.59
first got broken by
me leaving church school.
00:06:04.63\00:06:07.43
And then when I
went away to college
00:06:07.46\00:06:08.80
and didn't go to a
faith-based college,
00:06:08.83\00:06:10.53
that was
another cord that broke,
00:06:10.57\00:06:12.73
and not being home,
00:06:12.77\00:06:14.10
so all three
chords were broken up.
00:06:14.14\00:06:16.14
I was drifting,
00:06:16.17\00:06:18.17
but I was pimping off of
the values and experiences
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and exposures
from a Christian home,
00:06:22.78\00:06:25.28
a Christian school,
and a Christian church,
00:06:25.31\00:06:27.88
but little by
little, it was eroding.
00:06:27.92\00:06:30.72
So you saw...
00:06:30.75\00:06:33.05
When you made that decision,
00:06:33.09\00:06:36.32
you had no idea
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that your persona
was going to change?
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No. My parents knew.
00:06:42.20\00:06:44.13
That's why my father made
that prophetic statement to me,
00:06:44.17\00:06:46.37
"Timmy, we know
what's going to happen,
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but you need to
experience it for yourself."
00:06:47.90\00:06:49.80
No, I had no idea
because I was living that life,
00:06:49.84\00:06:53.64
I was enjoying it, I
was getting attention,
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acclaim, awards,
speaking engagements,
00:06:55.98\00:06:59.48
all types of
different kinds of things
00:06:59.51\00:07:01.55
that meant a lot to me
00:07:01.58\00:07:03.52
as a young man, a
young teenager, young adult,
00:07:03.55\00:07:06.25
but my spiritual underpinnings
were slipping away.
00:07:06.29\00:07:09.99
And so as your
parents saw this happening,
00:07:10.03\00:07:13.83
were they saying to you, like,
"We see that you're changing,"
00:07:13.86\00:07:18.27
or did they just kind of let you
00:07:18.30\00:07:21.00
see for yourself
that you were changing
00:07:21.04\00:07:23.27
and just kind of not
sweep it under the rug
00:07:23.30\00:07:27.28
but they might not have
brought it to your attention?
00:07:27.31\00:07:30.91
In hindsight
now, it grieved them,
00:07:30.95\00:07:33.95
it pained them, and
I'll give you an example,
00:07:33.98\00:07:36.65
but they also
understood that "He's an adult,
00:07:36.69\00:07:39.75
he's got to make
his own adult decisions,
00:07:39.79\00:07:44.53
we can tell him what to do,
00:07:44.56\00:07:46.33
but he needs to
experience it for himself."
00:07:46.36\00:07:48.06
But the other part
00:07:48.10\00:07:49.43
where they sit and
sincerely believed,
00:07:49.46\00:07:52.00
train up a child in
the way he should go
00:07:52.03\00:07:53.67
and when he gets old,
he will not depart from it,
00:07:53.70\00:07:55.70
even though it took this
person 40 years to get it.
00:07:55.74\00:07:58.17
Let me give you an
example, when I was in college,
00:07:58.21\00:08:01.54
my grades started slipping,
slipping, slipping, slipping,
00:08:01.58\00:08:04.81
yet the school was
still sending me out
00:08:04.85\00:08:06.18
on speaking engagements
to alumni, to this, that,
00:08:06.21\00:08:07.82
and the other until my
mother who was an academic,
00:08:07.85\00:08:12.22
working at Oakwood College,
00:08:12.25\00:08:13.59
sent a letter to the school
00:08:13.62\00:08:14.96
and forbade them from sending me
00:08:14.99\00:08:16.32
on any more trips
00:08:16.36\00:08:17.69
because she said
00:08:17.73\00:08:19.06
I was not academically
representing them, reluctantly,
00:08:19.09\00:08:22.73
they went along with it,
00:08:22.76\00:08:24.10
but they knew that I
was representing them
00:08:24.13\00:08:27.24
on the surface of things.
00:08:27.27\00:08:30.74
So they in their own way
00:08:30.77\00:08:32.37
were allowing me a
level of independence,
00:08:32.41\00:08:35.24
but they never stopped praying.
00:08:35.28\00:08:38.78
Any time I would call
home which was few and far
00:08:38.81\00:08:40.78
between because I
was living that life,
00:08:40.82\00:08:42.98
phone conversations were always
punctuated with the statement,
00:08:43.02\00:08:45.45
"Timmy, we love you
and we're praying for you."
00:08:45.49\00:08:49.52
And that is the...
00:08:49.56\00:08:51.93
That was the
chewing gum and bailing wire
00:08:51.96\00:08:54.06
that held me together
against my own wishes.
00:08:54.10\00:08:57.57
Did you continue to go to church
00:08:57.60\00:08:59.53
when you went away to college?
00:08:59.57\00:09:01.40
See that's an ugly question.
That's an ugly question.
00:09:01.44\00:09:03.64
Especially since
your mom is sitting
00:09:03.67\00:09:05.14
in the audience
right here, right?
00:09:05.17\00:09:06.51
Yeah, that's an ugly question.
Let me tell you what I did do.
00:09:06.54\00:09:09.04
If I knew I was going back home,
00:09:09.08\00:09:10.41
and by this time my
parents and family had moved
00:09:10.45\00:09:12.35
from Greater Boston
to Huntsville, Alabama,
00:09:12.38\00:09:14.72
where Mom and Dad
accepted administrative
00:09:14.75\00:09:16.22
staff positions
at Oakwood College,
00:09:16.25\00:09:17.92
which is my mother's alma mater.
00:09:17.95\00:09:19.95
Whenever I would
go home to visit,
00:09:19.99\00:09:24.23
shame on me,
00:09:24.26\00:09:26.19
I would attend
church the Sabbath
00:09:26.23\00:09:28.40
before so that I
could at least be up
00:09:28.43\00:09:31.23
on whatever the
issues were in the church.
00:09:31.27\00:09:33.17
So whenever I rolled home,
00:09:33.20\00:09:35.04
I would at least
be somewhat conversant
00:09:35.07\00:09:36.67
if something came up.
00:09:36.71\00:09:38.04
I mean, I can remember...
00:09:38.07\00:09:39.41
You're really
pulling a scab off now.
00:09:39.44\00:09:42.08
I mean, I can remember
times when I would call home
00:09:42.11\00:09:45.78
and Mom would say,
00:09:45.81\00:09:47.15
she would wait till
the end of the conversation
00:09:47.18\00:09:48.52
and she would say,
"Have you been to church?"
00:09:48.55\00:09:50.85
And I would say, "Mom," I said,
00:09:50.89\00:09:52.55
"I was just too
tired to go to church,
00:09:52.59\00:09:54.56
or if I go to church,
00:09:54.59\00:09:55.92
I'm gonna fall
asleep and I know it,
00:09:55.96\00:09:57.29
in service you."
00:09:57.33\00:09:58.66
And so, she would say,
00:09:58.69\00:10:00.03
"Well, typically, you
fall asleep on Sabbath
00:10:00.06\00:10:02.56
if you're too
busy on Friday night."
00:10:02.60\00:10:04.93
Oh, Mom!
00:10:04.97\00:10:09.10
But she was the
first one to bust me.
00:10:09.14\00:10:11.67
She was the one,
when they had decided,
00:10:11.71\00:10:14.68
we're not
paying any more tuition
00:10:14.71\00:10:16.61
to that good school
00:10:16.64\00:10:18.08
when we have a school
that's training people
00:10:18.11\00:10:19.98
for the kingdom.
00:10:20.02\00:10:21.35
And I made a
decision, "I'm not coming."
00:10:21.38\00:10:23.18
My mother said to
me, she said, "Yeah,
00:10:23.22\00:10:24.89
we don't have all the things
00:10:24.92\00:10:26.32
that your alma mater
has, all young ladies,
00:10:26.35\00:10:29.26
they were long
skirts, they carry big Bibles,
00:10:29.29\00:10:30.79
they wear no make up.
00:10:30.83\00:10:32.16
We don't have
all the allurements
00:10:32.19\00:10:33.53
of that at the school."
00:10:33.56\00:10:34.90
She said, "Hampton",
which was my school, Hampton,
00:10:34.93\00:10:37.07
"This is not your problem,
your ego is your problem.
00:10:37.10\00:10:39.63
You can't see yourself
coming to little bitty Oakwood."
00:10:39.67\00:10:42.87
And I dismissed it,
00:10:42.90\00:10:44.47
but it came back to
bite me some 32 years later.
00:10:44.51\00:10:48.61
So you never did go to Oakwood?
00:10:48.64\00:10:50.45
Never attended Oakwood.
00:10:50.48\00:10:51.81
Because you thought
that Oakwood was not...
00:10:51.85\00:10:55.22
it didn't measure up for you.
00:10:55.25\00:10:56.69
Didn't have all
the horns and whistles,
00:10:56.72\00:10:58.69
you know, I regret it now.
00:10:58.72\00:11:01.02
I mean, when I finally married,
00:11:01.06\00:11:02.89
ultimately married and
my wife was an Oakwood grad,
00:11:02.92\00:11:05.36
we went back to her
first alumni weekend
00:11:05.39\00:11:08.86
in 1995 as a husband and wife.
00:11:08.90\00:11:12.17
She introduced me to her friends
00:11:12.20\00:11:13.54
and my wife is
very much unlike me.
00:11:13.57\00:11:15.60
She's very unpretentious,
very, very unpretentious,
00:11:15.64\00:11:18.21
very much a wallflower,
00:11:18.24\00:11:19.57
very much in the
shadows, unlike me.
00:11:19.61\00:11:22.71
But she would introduce me
00:11:22.74\00:11:24.08
to some of her
best friends in school,
00:11:24.11\00:11:25.45
some people who were real close,
00:11:25.48\00:11:26.82
people who played
softball with here,
00:11:26.85\00:11:28.18
people, you know.
00:11:28.22\00:11:29.55
As we're driving back,
00:11:29.58\00:11:30.92
I was working at
Hampton during that time,
00:11:30.95\00:11:32.75
I began to think
about recap the weekend.
00:11:32.79\00:11:35.89
And there was
something that I noticed
00:11:35.92\00:11:38.36
about the
majority of her friends.
00:11:38.39\00:11:40.93
The majority of her friends
00:11:40.96\00:11:42.40
had all had the
same first name, Doctor.
00:11:42.43\00:11:47.04
Dr. Reggie Coupwood,
00:11:47.07\00:11:48.94
Dr. Dwayne
Harrison, Dr. Kathy Arthur.
00:11:48.97\00:11:52.97
And I said to myself, I
could have been like that,
00:11:53.01\00:11:58.25
but I went to
school, went to college
00:11:58.28\00:12:01.25
not for the
pursuit of happiness,
00:12:01.28\00:12:04.19
I went for the
happiness of pursuit.
00:12:04.22\00:12:05.92
And when I look back on it now,
00:12:09.16\00:12:12.16
you know, I should
have a granddaughter
00:12:12.19\00:12:16.53
or grandson in
college if I had been focused,
00:12:16.56\00:12:21.74
but I was so busy
trying to run away
00:12:21.77\00:12:23.41
from all of those basics
00:12:23.44\00:12:25.01
my parents instilled
and embedded within me,
00:12:25.04\00:12:27.41
I was running in
the opposite direction.
00:12:27.44\00:12:29.78
You know, I should
have been more focused,
00:12:29.81\00:12:32.01
but I was trying
my best not to be,
00:12:32.05\00:12:33.92
but God allowed
me down this path
00:12:33.95\00:12:36.65
until I hit rock
bottom and woke up.
00:12:36.69\00:12:39.62
And let's talk about that.
00:12:39.65\00:12:41.42
Before we get there though,
00:12:41.46\00:12:42.79
let's talk about
00:12:42.82\00:12:44.16
where God had taken you
to hit rock bottom from?
00:12:44.19\00:12:48.30
God had allowed me
to, upon graduation,
00:12:48.33\00:12:52.73
even though I
graduated with a 2.2 average,
00:12:52.77\00:12:56.54
which was
basically a C minor. C.
00:12:56.57\00:12:59.04
Yeah. I had seven job offers.
00:12:59.07\00:13:02.31
Why did I have seven job offers?
00:13:02.34\00:13:04.08
Because I was
pimping that SDA culture,
00:13:04.11\00:13:08.38
from all of those
years in Sabbath school,
00:13:08.42\00:13:12.55
learning memory versus,
00:13:12.59\00:13:14.32
reciting all of
them for 13th Sabbath,
00:13:14.36\00:13:17.29
for whenever there
was a Youth Day program,
00:13:17.33\00:13:19.19
being that speaker.
00:13:19.23\00:13:20.76
And from growing up in
church and church school,
00:13:20.80\00:13:23.80
where everything boiled
down to principles, as a result,
00:13:23.83\00:13:28.57
I went to college and I
became an English major.
00:13:28.60\00:13:32.07
And I became an
English literature major.
00:13:32.11\00:13:33.44
and the reason I became
00:13:33.48\00:13:34.81
that is because I
would go into class,
00:13:34.84\00:13:38.71
had not read the literature,
00:13:38.75\00:13:40.82
could not answer
who said what to whom,
00:13:40.85\00:13:42.95
but any question that
was philosophic in nature,
00:13:42.98\00:13:47.72
because they're all
boiled down to principles.
00:13:47.76\00:13:49.79
So I was pimping the
culture of being an Adventist,
00:13:49.82\00:13:54.90
I was pimping that culture.
00:13:54.93\00:13:56.36
So as a result of
that, I ended up working
00:13:56.40\00:13:58.20
for the world's
largest public relations firm
00:13:58.23\00:14:00.74
in New York,
Burson-Marsteller 1977,
00:14:00.77\00:14:03.41
received the top award,
00:14:03.44\00:14:04.77
the Silver Anvil
Award part of my team
00:14:04.81\00:14:06.34
which is the Oscar.
00:14:06.37\00:14:07.71
The next month I got fired.
00:14:07.74\00:14:09.54
Why did you get fired?
00:14:09.58\00:14:11.85
You got the Oscar. Yes.
00:14:11.88\00:14:13.48
The Oscar, for public relations.
00:14:13.52\00:14:18.32
Why did you get fired?
00:14:18.35\00:14:19.85
As my mentor told
me who recruited me,
00:14:19.89\00:14:22.86
"Tim, you are
more of a personality
00:14:22.89\00:14:26.06
than a professional."
00:14:26.09\00:14:29.00
Unpack that for us.
00:14:29.03\00:14:31.73
I was the good times guy.
00:14:31.77\00:14:33.77
I mean, I was the one
who was leading the parties
00:14:33.80\00:14:36.40
whenever we had parties.
00:14:36.44\00:14:37.81
I was the
socialite at the receptions.
00:14:37.84\00:14:40.24
You know, I had just
enough writing skills to get by.
00:14:40.28\00:14:43.85
I was in media relations.
00:14:43.88\00:14:45.21
I was one who would book
Media for different clients,
00:14:45.25\00:14:48.45
book different shows
like Good Morning America.
00:14:48.48\00:14:50.62
So I knew how to sell.
00:14:50.65\00:14:52.89
But in terms of
being a marathon runner,
00:14:52.92\00:14:56.59
a long-distance person,
00:14:56.62\00:14:58.26
I was so busy
skimming off of the top.
00:14:58.29\00:15:01.76
After a while in 1978,
00:15:01.80\00:15:03.93
when we had an
economic recession,
00:15:03.97\00:15:06.13
the economy swung down.
00:15:06.17\00:15:08.10
I was not
necessary. I got swung out.
00:15:08.14\00:15:12.87
That happened again
some six years later
00:15:12.91\00:15:15.91
when I went to work
for Hill and Knowlton,
00:15:15.94\00:15:18.31
which was then
the world's largest
00:15:18.35\00:15:19.68
public relations firm
headquartered in Chicago.
00:15:19.71\00:15:23.08
I had just, in 1986,
won the John Hill Award,
00:15:23.12\00:15:26.32
the top award for the company.
00:15:26.35\00:15:28.46
Five months later, I
was fired, the same thing.
00:15:28.49\00:15:32.79
And what I learned was the fact
I was good enough to get in,
00:15:32.83\00:15:38.30
but not excellent
enough to move up.
00:15:38.33\00:15:40.67
But how did you get those awards
00:15:40.70\00:15:42.74
if you weren't
performing adequately?
00:15:42.77\00:15:45.87
How did you get
awards for performance
00:15:45.91\00:15:48.11
and then get fired?
00:15:48.14\00:15:50.05
My belief is this,
I'm glad you asked,
00:15:50.08\00:15:53.85
God always had a plan for me
00:15:53.88\00:15:57.29
whether I could see it or not.
00:15:57.32\00:16:00.46
I had an experience in
1977 with my college fraternity,
00:16:00.49\00:16:03.56
Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity.
00:16:03.59\00:16:04.93
I was a national officer,
00:16:04.96\00:16:06.29
I was on the board of directors,
00:16:06.33\00:16:07.66
I was speaking
around the country,
00:16:07.70\00:16:09.03
and I watched the final banquet
that your new president came in
00:16:09.06\00:16:11.80
and he gave an award to
the director of conventions
00:16:11.83\00:16:14.90
who had been director
00:16:14.94\00:16:16.27
of commission
for 30 years or so.
00:16:16.30\00:16:17.87
I think much around,
I was 22, hotshot kid.
00:16:17.91\00:16:20.41
I'm sitting next to my mentor
00:16:20.44\00:16:21.78
who was the legal
counsel for the fraternity.
00:16:21.81\00:16:23.14
He said, "This
is interesting, Tim,
00:16:23.18\00:16:24.51
I said, "Why?"
00:16:24.55\00:16:25.88
He says, "Typically,
00:16:25.91\00:16:27.25
when you get an
award for doing your job,
00:16:27.28\00:16:29.32
it's the way the
corporations learn
00:16:29.35\00:16:31.19
how to get rid of you."
00:16:31.22\00:16:34.32
I said, "Whoa, I didn't
think a lot of it then."
00:16:34.36\00:16:37.36
But as I began to watch
the trajectory of my life,
00:16:37.39\00:16:41.13
whenever I would get an award,
00:16:41.16\00:16:43.73
as I look back on
it now in hindsight,
00:16:43.77\00:16:46.37
that was the way to move me out.
00:16:46.40\00:16:49.44
It was God's way to say,
00:16:49.47\00:16:51.27
"You've gotten as much
as you can get from here.
00:16:51.31\00:16:53.41
I'm moving you out
to get you ultimately
00:16:53.44\00:16:56.08
to where I want you
to be for my glory."
00:16:56.11\00:16:58.41
This message that I've
been able to put together,
00:16:58.45\00:17:00.12
this book that I've been able
to write is God's gift to me
00:17:00.15\00:17:05.55
and my gift back to God
to be able to tell people
00:17:05.59\00:17:08.32
about a problem
that affects all of us.
00:17:08.36\00:17:10.96
And as I look at the
trajectory of my life,
00:17:10.99\00:17:12.69
I go back to John 9
when Jesus of the disciples,
00:17:12.73\00:17:16.87
I'm a walking down the road
and they run into a blind man.
00:17:16.90\00:17:20.20
And the disciples
say, "Jesus, who sinned?
00:17:20.24\00:17:22.40
Was it this man
00:17:22.44\00:17:23.77
or was it his parents
the caused him to be blind."
00:17:23.81\00:17:26.71
Jesus said "Neither."
00:17:26.74\00:17:28.24
He said "But he is
blind averse they neither,
00:17:28.28\00:17:30.51
but that the works of God
could be displayed in him."
00:17:30.55\00:17:33.42
And then God healed him.
00:17:33.45\00:17:35.05
I believe sincerely, Yvonne,
00:17:35.08\00:17:37.15
God has allowed this ego-holism,
00:17:37.19\00:17:41.42
which is an
addiction to self in me
00:17:41.46\00:17:44.13
to be exposed to people
00:17:44.16\00:17:46.09
to be that first mouthpiece
to be the poster child for it
00:17:46.13\00:17:50.13
in an effort to help
to heal other people.
00:17:50.17\00:17:53.17
It is my blindness
00:17:53.20\00:17:54.54
that God has
healed or is healing.
00:17:54.57\00:17:56.91
So the question
I asked people is,
00:17:56.94\00:17:58.51
"What is the blindness in you
00:17:58.54\00:18:00.54
that God has put in
you that allowed in you
00:18:00.58\00:18:04.61
so that once you give
yourself and get broken down
00:18:04.65\00:18:07.78
and get humble before God,
00:18:07.82\00:18:09.15
he can reveal it
00:18:09.18\00:18:10.52
and you can help
to save mankind."
00:18:10.55\00:18:12.62
That's my story
about all the firings.
00:18:12.65\00:18:14.76
Yes, yes, yes.
00:18:14.79\00:18:16.12
The book...
00:18:16.16\00:18:17.49
And we have the cover
00:18:17.53\00:18:18.86
so that people
can take a look at it.
00:18:18.89\00:18:21.53
Tell us a bit about the book.
00:18:21.56\00:18:23.50
What led you to write this book?
00:18:23.53\00:18:26.20
And by the way,
when you see your name,
00:18:26.23\00:18:29.00
you want your
name in all lower caps,
00:18:29.04\00:18:31.44
you don't want it in uppercase,
you want it all lowercase.
00:18:31.47\00:18:35.11
That's right, that's right.
00:18:35.14\00:18:36.48
What led you to write this book?
00:18:36.51\00:18:41.45
I left Oakwood.
00:18:41.48\00:18:42.82
Well, Oakwood fired
me for the first time,
00:18:42.85\00:18:44.19
first of three firings.
00:18:44.22\00:18:45.55
Okay.
00:18:45.59\00:18:46.92
Let's unpack that a
minute and then go to the book.
00:18:46.96\00:18:49.22
Okay.
00:18:49.26\00:18:51.89
Because of my
experience in higher education,
00:18:51.93\00:18:55.06
technically, chronologically,
I had more experience,
00:18:55.10\00:18:59.00
more exposure
than the president,
00:18:59.03\00:19:01.70
and I let him know
that on a regular basis.
00:19:01.74\00:19:06.14
I did not learn
the first rule of thumb
00:19:06.17\00:19:08.11
in terms of power,
00:19:08.14\00:19:09.48
which is you never
out shine your master.
00:19:09.51\00:19:13.01
And so that was a
bitter pill for me to swallow.
00:19:13.05\00:19:16.38
But it led me
into entrepreneurship
00:19:16.42\00:19:20.16
because I learned
from a mentor of mine
00:19:20.19\00:19:21.89
that entrepreneurship
00:19:21.92\00:19:23.26
is one of the
closest ways to get to God
00:19:23.29\00:19:25.59
because when
you're an entrepreneur,
00:19:25.63\00:19:27.20
you have no safety net.
00:19:27.23\00:19:28.56
That's right.
00:19:28.60\00:19:29.93
You have no
institutional budget,
00:19:29.96\00:19:31.30
you have no staff,
it's just you alone.
00:19:31.33\00:19:32.93
And in that alone
time that wilderness,
00:19:32.97\00:19:36.14
that's when God
speaks to us many times,
00:19:36.17\00:19:38.57
it's not for
everybody but for those of us
00:19:38.61\00:19:41.11
who can and do,
00:19:41.14\00:19:42.48
that's where God
works through us.
00:19:42.51\00:19:43.85
So I went on
grabbed my first contract,
00:19:43.88\00:19:46.38
I had never seen
that much money before
00:19:46.41\00:19:47.75
and I said,
00:19:47.78\00:19:49.12
"Finally
someone's gonna appreciate
00:19:49.15\00:19:50.49
my worth and value."
00:19:50.52\00:19:51.85
I lost the
contract in six weeks.
00:19:51.89\00:19:53.86
Oh. Ouch. Yeah.
00:19:53.89\00:19:56.62
At the Dear John
meeting, the client said to me,
00:19:56.66\00:20:01.26
"Tim, you needed help and
you wouldn't ask for any."
00:20:01.30\00:20:07.07
Firing you was
one of the best things
00:20:07.10\00:20:08.60
that could happen
to you as a first time,
00:20:08.64\00:20:10.51
early stage entrepreneur.
00:20:10.54\00:20:12.31
He said because
talent is not your problem.
00:20:12.34\00:20:16.38
Some say, "Well, if
talent ain't problem,
00:20:16.41\00:20:18.75
then what is my problem?
00:20:18.78\00:20:21.12
At the same time,
00:20:21.15\00:20:22.48
I had gotten a
letter in the mail
00:20:22.52\00:20:23.85
"Dear servant leader."
00:20:23.89\00:20:25.22
That caught my
attention because,
00:20:25.25\00:20:26.59
you know, as I said
00:20:26.62\00:20:27.96
I was in a servant
leader reading group.
00:20:27.99\00:20:29.32
The woman wrote about,
00:20:29.36\00:20:30.69
she was a
professional speech coach
00:20:30.73\00:20:32.83
and my thing was to
become a professional speaker.
00:20:32.86\00:20:35.66
And in reading the letter
and getting in touch with her,
00:20:35.70\00:20:38.40
I decided to go meet with her.
00:20:38.43\00:20:41.54
And in meeting with her,
we began to talk out things.
00:20:41.57\00:20:44.97
She her name is
Vanalti out of Dallas, Texas.
00:20:45.01\00:20:47.51
She wrote the
book on Zig Ziglar,
00:20:47.54\00:20:50.71
who was probably
the most phenomenal
00:20:50.75\00:20:53.95
public speaker,
motivational speaker
00:20:53.98\00:20:55.32
of the 20th century.
00:20:55.35\00:20:57.75
In meeting with her
and talking with her,
00:20:57.79\00:20:59.62
she's a Christian
business counselor.
00:20:59.65\00:21:02.79
We were talking about
different kinds of things,
00:21:02.82\00:21:04.53
different kinds of experiences,
and she said something to me.
00:21:04.56\00:21:08.26
She said,
00:21:08.30\00:21:10.60
"Tim, you are so articulate,
00:21:10.63\00:21:15.00
you are so charismatic.
00:21:15.04\00:21:16.81
When you walked in the room,
your presence fills the room."
00:21:16.84\00:21:21.01
And I stopped her, I said "Yes,"
00:21:21.04\00:21:23.51
I said "I am articulate,
00:21:23.55\00:21:25.61
I am charismatic, I do have
a persona that fills the room,
00:21:25.65\00:21:29.28
I've gotten away
00:21:29.32\00:21:30.65
with that all of my
life until I got married
00:21:30.69\00:21:34.02
and my wife lets me
get away with nothing."
00:21:34.06\00:21:37.89
And then God sent
this word through me.
00:21:37.93\00:21:41.16
I said "I guess I am an egoholic
00:21:41.20\00:21:45.23
who needs to recover."
00:21:45.27\00:21:47.17
And she stopped me,
00:21:47.20\00:21:48.54
she said "Tim, let
me tell you something."
00:21:48.57\00:21:51.37
She said, "I've
heard every kind of speech
00:21:51.41\00:21:55.28
there is to hear,
00:21:55.31\00:21:57.71
nobody is addressing that topic,
00:21:57.75\00:22:01.88
that's in your
spiritual DNA, run with it."
00:22:01.92\00:22:06.12
So I was writing on this topic
00:22:06.15\00:22:09.02
for some 14 years, 17 drafts,
00:22:09.06\00:22:14.06
4 different editors,
trying to get this message out,
00:22:14.10\00:22:17.97
they couldn't
figure out why I couldn't.
00:22:18.00\00:22:19.90
You know, through all
different findings I'm saying,
00:22:19.93\00:22:21.40
surely the Lord
is calling me now
00:22:21.44\00:22:23.07
to go out of here to
get this book out of here,
00:22:23.10\00:22:25.24
to write this
book, to save the world.
00:22:25.27\00:22:28.44
When I got fired
from DIRECTV in 2010,
00:22:28.48\00:22:31.25
I just knew that was the moment.
00:22:31.28\00:22:33.21
But I tried to get it designed,
I tried, you know, I couldn't.
00:22:33.25\00:22:35.88
I went to my
pastor at my church,
00:22:35.92\00:22:37.65
Pastor Benjamin Jone.
00:22:37.69\00:22:39.35
I said "What?"
00:22:39.39\00:22:40.72
He said "Tim,
God always prepares
00:22:40.76\00:22:43.63
the minister
before the ministry."
00:22:43.66\00:22:47.40
I said "Whoa!"
00:22:47.43\00:22:49.43
That's when I just
backed up, backed up.
00:22:49.46\00:22:54.14
Then I was asked to
come back to Oakwood to work.
00:22:54.17\00:22:57.47
Then new president come
on Board Dr. Leslie Pollard
00:22:57.51\00:23:00.24
had worked very well,
00:23:00.28\00:23:01.61
famously well for
good two years or so.
00:23:01.64\00:23:04.11
And then got canned.
00:23:04.15\00:23:08.22
He called me to into the office,
00:23:08.25\00:23:09.58
I will never forget i.,
00:23:09.62\00:23:11.02
It was on Monday,
December 16, 2013.
00:23:11.05\00:23:15.09
A few hours after that,
00:23:15.12\00:23:16.49
we getting ready to
have the annual Christmas,
00:23:16.52\00:23:18.89
people give us
bonuses, so this ego said,
00:23:18.93\00:23:21.46
"Well, he must be
calling me in to reward me
00:23:21.50\00:23:23.16
because we just won
the home depot campaign.
00:23:23.20\00:23:25.57
I was the architect of that.
00:23:25.60\00:23:27.14
You know, I've out distanced
any other PR person here
00:23:27.17\00:23:29.84
which was Tim
Allston before that.
00:23:29.87\00:23:31.67
You know, he
called me in to fire me.
00:23:31.71\00:23:35.61
He said to me, he
says "Tim, on my campus,
00:23:35.64\00:23:38.81
I've got two
geniuses with problems,
00:23:38.85\00:23:41.75
you're one of them.
00:23:41.78\00:23:43.59
Get help now."
00:23:43.62\00:23:47.29
I'm like whoa!
00:23:47.32\00:23:49.36
His body of work
I've been working on stuff
00:23:49.39\00:23:51.09
I've been writing
for all this years,
00:23:51.13\00:23:52.46
I said, "That's
probably the signal from God."
00:23:52.49\00:23:57.17
So I went to see
professional counseling to deal
00:23:57.20\00:23:59.77
with the issue
that he had suggested.
00:23:59.80\00:24:01.17
He said, "Tim, I'm
not a medical doctor.
00:24:01.20\00:24:03.34
He said but you may
want to look at the issue
00:24:03.37\00:24:05.24
of the narcissistic
personality disorder.
00:24:05.27\00:24:09.41
I was like, that sounds severe.
00:24:09.44\00:24:10.85
So I met with the counselor,
00:24:10.88\00:24:12.21
we worked through some things
and I begin to then write,
00:24:12.25\00:24:14.28
and write, and
write, and write, and write.
00:24:14.32\00:24:17.05
As it turned out,
00:24:17.09\00:24:19.95
the Presidential
Campaign of 2016 rolled around,
00:24:19.99\00:24:23.83
and a mentor of
mine, a friend of ours,
00:24:23.86\00:24:26.09
attorney Shirma
Rogers said to me.
00:24:26.13\00:24:27.46
Oh, yeah.
00:24:27.50\00:24:28.83
Said to me October 1, he said,
00:24:28.86\00:24:30.20
"Tim, you've been
writing this book for 14 years.
00:24:30.23\00:24:36.87
Writing it, writing it."
00:24:36.91\00:24:38.54
He says, "I'm
giving you an ultimatum.
00:24:38.57\00:24:41.64
October 31st, this
books needs to be out.
00:24:41.68\00:24:44.18
It's need to be
out before the election
00:24:44.21\00:24:46.11
for the obvious reasons."
00:24:46.15\00:24:48.35
I said, "Okay, yes sir.
00:24:48.38\00:24:51.99
Right on way, counselor."
00:24:52.02\00:24:53.36
And so with the
run for the presidency,
00:24:53.39\00:24:58.03
and ultimate
election of the Donald Trump,
00:24:58.06\00:25:01.83
I began to see the
perfect timing of God.
00:25:01.86\00:25:07.17
And I say that because
to the casual observer,
00:25:07.20\00:25:11.24
they say, "Oh,
Donald Trump has a big ego."
00:25:11.27\00:25:14.38
But upon closer observation,
he's got a very thin frail ego.
00:25:14.41\00:25:19.65
The question that I pose,
00:25:19.68\00:25:21.02
I'm about to write
a piece now entitled
00:25:21.05\00:25:22.62
"The American ego has landed."
00:25:22.65\00:25:26.05
And then my
subtitle is going to be,
00:25:26.09\00:25:27.69
But the disciples
asked, "Lord, is it I?"
00:25:27.72\00:25:30.33
About the last
supper, Jesus said,
00:25:30.36\00:25:32.19
"One of you all will betray me."
00:25:32.23\00:25:34.10
Eleven of the
disciples were startled,
00:25:34.13\00:25:37.10
"Lord, is it I?"
00:25:37.13\00:25:38.57
Although, initially
Jesus was talking about Judas,
00:25:38.60\00:25:42.57
ultimately, all the
other 11 did betray Him.
00:25:42.60\00:25:46.17
So the question that I
will pose to my readers is
00:25:46.21\00:25:48.88
"For the all the things
00:25:48.91\00:25:50.25
you dislike about
this man, Lord, is it I?
00:25:50.28\00:25:54.38
Are you guilty of being brash?
00:25:54.42\00:25:56.72
Are you guilty of
being nationalistic?
00:25:56.75\00:25:59.15
Are you guilty of
being chauvinistic?
00:25:59.19\00:26:01.49
Are you guilty of saying
things that you can't back up?"
00:26:01.52\00:26:05.29
As a recovering ego-holic,
00:26:05.33\00:26:07.13
I was asked
myself "Lord, is it I?"
00:26:07.16\00:26:09.63
And unfortunately, Yvonne,
00:26:09.66\00:26:11.60
I am guilty of
all of those crimes.
00:26:11.63\00:26:14.80
Now earlier this year,
00:26:14.84\00:26:16.17
I teach a Bible
study class at my church,
00:26:16.20\00:26:17.81
first SDA in
Huntsville, Alabama.
00:26:17.84\00:26:19.84
And we were
studying the life of Peter.
00:26:19.87\00:26:21.64
So I asked my class,
00:26:21.68\00:26:23.01
I said "What do
you know about Peter?"
00:26:23.04\00:26:24.75
They said, he was brash,
nationalistic, hot tempered,
00:26:24.78\00:26:29.22
running of with the
mouth, I said "Hmm."
00:26:29.25\00:26:32.35
Who does that remind you of?
00:26:32.39\00:26:34.52
And someone said
"Trump." I said, "Okay."
00:26:34.56\00:26:36.56
I said, "Nationalistic,
chauvinistic, brash,
00:26:36.59\00:26:39.33
making promises
he couldn't keep."
00:26:39.36\00:26:40.93
I said, "What is the difference
00:26:40.96\00:26:42.30
between Peter and Donald Trump?"
00:26:42.33\00:26:47.17
And he said, "He
humbled us." I said "Yes."
00:26:47.20\00:26:49.94
I said "Could all
of this be God's effort
00:26:49.97\00:26:53.38
to humble this man."
00:26:53.41\00:26:55.71
I said "Have you been brash?
00:26:55.74\00:26:58.11
Have you been nationalistic?
00:26:58.15\00:27:00.02
Have you been chauvinistic
whether by word or by deed?
00:27:00.05\00:27:03.99
Does Peter speak to you?
00:27:04.02\00:27:06.22
Did you see what
God did with the Peter?"
00:27:06.25\00:27:08.62
Peter developed
the spirit of humility
00:27:08.66\00:27:10.53
and teach-ability.
00:27:10.56\00:27:11.89
So as I understand Peter
00:27:11.93\00:27:13.73
and as I understand our
new President Donald Trump,
00:27:13.76\00:27:16.56
God has also helped me
to understand Tim Allston.
00:27:16.60\00:27:18.83
And I asked the
question every day painfully,
00:27:18.87\00:27:21.40
"Lord, is it I?"
00:27:21.44\00:27:22.77
The answer is not
a comfortable one.
00:27:22.80\00:27:27.04
At what point
did you realize that,
00:27:27.08\00:27:30.58
I need to...
00:27:30.61\00:27:32.55
I know you've been working
on this book for 14 years,
00:27:32.58\00:27:34.82
but at what
point did you realize
00:27:34.85\00:27:37.92
that I have got to give
00:27:37.95\00:27:41.32
God total control of my life?
00:27:41.36\00:27:44.59
What was the precipitating event
00:27:44.63\00:27:47.46
that made you decide to
turn over your life to Lord?
00:27:47.50\00:27:52.07
I don't think it
was any single event,
00:27:52.10\00:27:54.74
like the hymn that
we sang as children
00:27:54.77\00:27:56.37
each victory will
help you some other to win.
00:27:56.40\00:27:59.14
I believe it's been a series
of events in every single way
00:27:59.17\00:28:02.31
I watch God impact
in terms of my marriage,
00:28:02.34\00:28:05.81
in terms of our daughter,
in terms of our upbringing,
00:28:05.85\00:28:08.32
in terms of
everything I was doing.
00:28:08.35\00:28:09.78
I begin to see
00:28:09.82\00:28:11.39
how my egoholism
was draining them.
00:28:11.42\00:28:15.99
That they were not
being all that they could be
00:28:16.02\00:28:19.59
and that I was an
impediment to them.
00:28:19.63\00:28:22.00
And so, I reached the point now,
00:28:22.03\00:28:25.90
I don't trust Tim Allston.
00:28:25.93\00:28:30.91
I don't trust him.
I know that rascal.
00:28:30.94\00:28:34.14
I know what he will
and what he won't do.
00:28:34.18\00:28:36.95
So therefore, I've
gotten very deliberate,
00:28:36.98\00:28:39.45
almost mechanical.
00:28:39.48\00:28:41.32
I pray about everything.
00:28:41.35\00:28:44.02
I pray when I
get up in the morning
00:28:44.05\00:28:45.55
to wake our daughter up.
00:28:45.59\00:28:46.92
I pray when I
fix family breakfast,
00:28:46.96\00:28:49.06
I pray before I
have family worship.
00:28:49.09\00:28:51.59
You know, all the time,
00:28:51.63\00:28:52.96
because I know that
I'm exceedingly evil.
00:28:52.99\00:28:55.70
the Apostle Paul
says in Romans 7:15,
00:28:55.73\00:28:59.47
you know, "I'm full of sin,
00:28:59.50\00:29:02.24
I know what I can do,
00:29:02.27\00:29:03.74
I want to do right
but I can't do right.
00:29:03.77\00:29:05.61
When I try to do
right, I do wrong.
00:29:05.64\00:29:07.41
And when I want to do wrong,
He pushing me to try to do it."
00:29:07.44\00:29:09.91
I'm in a world to
trouble and I understand this.
00:29:09.94\00:29:12.48
One of things about
being egoholic was not caring,
00:29:12.51\00:29:16.38
was thinking
that I was all that.
00:29:16.42\00:29:18.32
But one of the things about
being a recovering egoholic
00:29:18.35\00:29:21.02
is I become exceedingly
aware of how sinful I am
00:29:21.06\00:29:26.36
and how small I am to God.
00:29:26.39\00:29:28.36
That's why when you
see my name written,
00:29:28.40\00:29:31.40
it's written in
all lowercase letters.
00:29:31.43\00:29:33.64
I don't feel worthy to
be capital about anything.
00:29:33.67\00:29:39.51
So what would say
00:29:39.54\00:29:41.94
are the symptoms of egoholism?
00:29:41.98\00:29:45.28
How do you know?
00:29:45.31\00:29:46.65
How does one know
that one is an egoholic?
00:29:46.68\00:29:49.65
Okay, well, first of all,
00:29:49.68\00:29:52.72
there is nothing
wrong with having an ego.
00:29:52.75\00:29:55.29
Every dictionary defines
an ego as a sense of self.
00:29:55.32\00:30:00.36
So therefore, every
person, every organization,
00:30:00.40\00:30:04.03
every event, every
activity has a sense of self.
00:30:04.07\00:30:09.10
Where the egoholism comes in
00:30:09.14\00:30:11.87
is when we put too
much of our self in.
00:30:11.91\00:30:13.88
For example, when God
made us, He made us perfect.
00:30:13.91\00:30:18.75
But in that perfection,
our perfection was tied to Him.
00:30:18.78\00:30:24.05
When we sinned, we broke that,
00:30:24.09\00:30:28.46
and so everything we do,
00:30:28.49\00:30:30.53
everything you
do, everything I do,
00:30:30.56\00:30:32.16
there's always a
sense of incompleteness.
00:30:32.19\00:30:36.26
What happens is
we are incomplete
00:30:36.30\00:30:40.67
and the completion can only come
00:30:40.70\00:30:43.14
when we team
00:30:43.17\00:30:44.51
with the
undefeated partner, God.
00:30:44.54\00:30:47.21
Our problem comes in
00:30:47.24\00:30:48.58
when we come into any situation,
00:30:48.61\00:30:50.45
we try to fill our self
with what has to happen.
00:30:50.48\00:30:55.45
We need to partner with God.
00:30:55.48\00:30:57.25
But only God knows the
exact divine calibrations
00:30:57.29\00:31:01.69
of what to put in
more of Him or less of us,
00:31:01.72\00:31:04.89
only God know that.
00:31:04.93\00:31:06.56
Egoholism comes about
00:31:06.59\00:31:07.93
when either we put
too much of our self in,
00:31:07.96\00:31:10.07
which is big ego,
00:31:10.10\00:31:11.43
or to put little of
us, which is little ego.
00:31:11.47\00:31:14.14
We try to do that.
00:31:14.17\00:31:15.50
And God dispenses Himself to us
00:31:15.54\00:31:18.51
in a measure
proportion to our faith.
00:31:18.54\00:31:21.08
So what God has shown me,
00:31:21.11\00:31:23.61
you know, first of
all, through the Bible.
00:31:23.65\00:31:26.25
The Bible is that mirror,
00:31:26.28\00:31:27.62
actually, it's a two-way mirror.
00:31:27.65\00:31:29.12
It really shows me
my exuding sinfulness,
00:31:29.15\00:31:32.45
and what the Bible
is showing Tim Allston
00:31:32.49\00:31:34.72
is my major egoholisms
00:31:34.76\00:31:36.86
are the acronym
spaides, S-P-A-I-D-E-S,
00:31:36.89\00:31:41.50
selfishness, procrastination,
00:31:41.53\00:31:46.27
arrogance,
00:31:46.30\00:31:48.17
I is called
impression mismanagement,
00:31:48.20\00:31:52.34
I'll come back to that.
00:31:52.37\00:31:53.71
D' is disorganization.
E is poor eye contact.
00:31:53.74\00:31:57.01
And S is selfishness.
00:31:57.05\00:31:58.38
I am "bracketed" by selfishness.
00:31:58.41\00:32:00.48
When I talk about
impression mismanagement,
00:32:00.52\00:32:01.85
for example.
00:32:01.88\00:32:03.22
I once saw a sign
on a teacher's wall
00:32:03.25\00:32:04.59
when I was in college.
00:32:04.62\00:32:05.95
And it said prosperity,
00:32:05.99\00:32:07.32
spending money you don't have
00:32:07.36\00:32:09.02
to buy things you
don't need to impress people
00:32:09.06\00:32:11.96
you don't even like.
00:32:11.99\00:32:15.33
I like that.
00:32:15.36\00:32:16.70
That clearly a
sign of low esteem,
00:32:16.73\00:32:18.90
low or no esteem.
00:32:18.93\00:32:20.77
So when I read my Bible
to answer your question.
00:32:20.80\00:32:25.31
It points me to,
00:32:25.34\00:32:27.24
it pulls the cover
off of Bible characters
00:32:27.28\00:32:31.51
which force me to
say, "Lord, is it I?"
00:32:31.55\00:32:34.38
I got little
Judas Iscariot in me.
00:32:34.42\00:32:36.55
I have a little
Saul of Tarsus in me.
00:32:36.58\00:32:39.05
I have little
Saul, King Saul in me,
00:32:39.09\00:32:41.42
I have a little Adam and Eve,
I have a little Moses in me.
00:32:41.46\00:32:44.19
You begin to see
yourself in Bible characters.
00:32:44.23\00:32:47.40
And thank God that He
has given us the Bible,
00:32:47.43\00:32:50.67
which is His love
letter to the human race
00:32:50.70\00:32:53.37
to point out those.
00:32:53.40\00:32:54.87
That's the first truth teller
I talk about book number one,
00:32:54.90\00:32:57.67
but the other truth
tellers are people, events,
00:32:57.71\00:32:59.97
and activities
that reveal us to us,
00:33:00.01\00:33:02.38
typically in a painful way.
00:33:02.41\00:33:04.25
You know, the
decisions that we make,
00:33:04.28\00:33:06.31
they reveal us to us.
00:33:06.35\00:33:08.55
Our job is to
make the corrections.
00:33:08.58\00:33:11.42
Our job is to
look at our history,
00:33:11.45\00:33:13.22
to glance at our history,
00:33:13.25\00:33:14.59
there's nothing you can
do about what's in the past
00:33:14.62\00:33:16.12
other than to look at it,
00:33:16.16\00:33:17.49
either decide to
repeat it or to repulse it.
00:33:17.53\00:33:21.00
And that's the
beauty of history.
00:33:21.03\00:33:22.36
So step one of my book says,
"To change lanes effectively,
00:33:22.40\00:33:25.93
glance back quickly
before driving forward.
00:33:25.97\00:33:28.00
Don't leer, don't
spend all your time
00:33:28.04\00:33:29.37
looking backwards,
00:33:29.40\00:33:30.74
living in the past is
like living with the dead."
00:33:30.77\00:33:32.21
And that's the essence of step
one of the recovering process.
00:33:32.24\00:33:34.88
And in fact that was
going to be my next question.
00:33:34.91\00:33:37.28
What are the steps in recovery?
00:33:37.31\00:33:42.18
Okay, well. Step
one, you just gave us.
00:33:42.22\00:33:44.45
I'm still recovering,
00:33:44.49\00:33:45.82
so those steps I
call the Tim Commandments.
00:33:45.85\00:33:49.02
The Tim Commandments.
00:33:49.06\00:33:50.39
Okay. All right.
00:33:50.43\00:33:51.76
There are 7 steps,
00:33:51.79\00:33:53.13
but there are 3
that precede that,
00:33:53.16\00:33:54.76
it's called T-O-P,
top, take it to the top.
00:33:54.80\00:33:57.33
"T" target the problem.
00:33:57.37\00:33:59.63
It's not a problem
until you are willing to admit
00:33:59.67\00:34:01.30
that it is the problem.
00:34:01.34\00:34:02.67
The example I use
00:34:02.70\00:34:04.04
is of the retired veteran anchor
00:34:04.07\00:34:06.37
for Face the
Nation, Bob Schieffer.
00:34:06.41\00:34:09.48
In 2003, he was
diagnosed with having cancer
00:34:09.51\00:34:11.55
and he said the
toughest part of having cancer
00:34:11.58\00:34:13.62
was being able to say to
him by himself, "I have cancer."
00:34:13.65\00:34:17.89
We've got to learn
as Ellen White says
00:34:17.92\00:34:19.39
to call sin by its right name.
00:34:19.42\00:34:21.16
So we got to call it out.
00:34:21.19\00:34:23.22
James Baldwin says,
00:34:23.26\00:34:24.59
"You can't fix
what you won't face."
00:34:24.63\00:34:26.80
So we have to
call it what it is.
00:34:26.83\00:34:28.50
So "T", target that,
put a bull's eye on it.
00:34:28.53\00:34:31.87
You know, "Selfishness
is a problem for me.
00:34:31.90\00:34:33.90
So I'm very, very aware of it.
Procrastination is the problem.
00:34:33.94\00:34:37.04
I'm very, very well aware of it.
00:34:37.07\00:34:39.01
Arrogance that,
that over sense of self,
00:34:39.04\00:34:41.41
I'm aware of that.
00:34:41.44\00:34:42.78
Impression mismanagement,
you know, being disorganized,
00:34:42.81\00:34:45.85
my wife can talk about that.
00:34:45.88\00:34:47.48
Poor eye contact
and selfishness again.
00:34:47.52\00:34:49.85
I'm aware and so therefore,
00:34:49.88\00:34:51.69
God has been able
to show those to me."
00:34:51.72\00:34:54.09
That's step one.
00:34:54.12\00:34:55.46
Step two talks about...
00:34:55.49\00:35:00.23
Uncover buried,
00:35:00.26\00:35:02.46
hidden treasures in your life
00:35:02.50\00:35:03.83
by digging deeper
below the surface.
00:35:03.87\00:35:05.70
I use the example
here of Michelangelo
00:35:05.73\00:35:08.10
the Italian sculptor.
00:35:08.14\00:35:09.47
And someone once asked him,
00:35:09.50\00:35:10.84
"How did you create
00:35:10.87\00:35:12.21
this magnificent
structured sculptor of David
00:35:12.24\00:35:15.11
out of this
large piece f marble?"
00:35:15.14\00:35:17.01
Michelangelo said,
00:35:17.05\00:35:18.38
"David was always in
that piece of marble,
00:35:18.41\00:35:21.25
my job was to chip
away the excess rock."
00:35:21.28\00:35:24.55
I like that.
00:35:24.59\00:35:25.92
When we allow God to chip away
the excess rock in our life,
00:35:25.95\00:35:29.12
we will find
00:35:29.16\00:35:30.49
the beauty within it and
also some of the ugliness.
00:35:30.53\00:35:33.09
Step three says
that we will fast forward
00:35:33.13\00:35:36.03
our success by
homework listening."
00:35:36.06\00:35:38.17
In this, I point
out the fact that,
00:35:38.20\00:35:40.17
listening is
something that we learn.
00:35:40.20\00:35:41.64
None of us were born...
00:35:41.67\00:35:43.00
Most of us are poor listeners.
00:35:43.04\00:35:44.61
And the reason for
that is very, very simple.
00:35:44.64\00:35:46.84
In school, we
had to take courses
00:35:46.88\00:35:48.91
in reading, writing,
00:35:48.94\00:35:51.01
speaking, but never once...
00:35:51.05\00:35:52.41
I don't if a school
in the country, college,
00:35:52.45\00:35:55.22
or university, high school,
00:35:55.25\00:35:56.62
anywhere that teaches listening.
00:35:56.65\00:36:01.09
It is the
foundation of what we do.
00:36:01.12\00:36:03.26
We learn nothing by talking.
00:36:03.29\00:36:05.46
We learn
everything by listening.
00:36:05.49\00:36:07.26
My roommates told me in
my freshman year in college.
00:36:07.30\00:36:09.16
They said "Tim,
you're a good speaker,
00:36:09.20\00:36:11.03
but you're a poor listener."
00:36:11.07\00:36:12.83
When you become
a better listener,
00:36:12.87\00:36:14.77
you'll become a better speaker."
00:36:14.80\00:36:16.40
It took me 30 years to learn,
listening requires humility.
00:36:16.44\00:36:21.88
You have to know
00:36:21.91\00:36:23.24
that you don't
know something and ask.
00:36:23.28\00:36:26.05
And therefore,
00:36:26.08\00:36:27.42
people then can
give that to you,
00:36:27.45\00:36:28.78
that's step three.
00:36:28.82\00:36:30.15
Step four...
00:36:30.19\00:36:31.52
Before you go there. Go ahead.
00:36:31.55\00:36:32.89
It's interesting
that you would say that
00:36:32.92\00:36:34.46
because there
is active listening
00:36:34.49\00:36:37.36
and passive listening.
00:36:37.39\00:36:39.03
You know, you can just
like, even in this situation...
00:36:39.06\00:36:43.30
Mm-hm.
00:36:43.33\00:36:44.67
We have to listen to each other.
00:36:44.70\00:36:46.27
I have to listen
to what you're saying,
00:36:46.30\00:36:47.64
you have to listen
to what I am saying
00:36:47.67\00:36:49.07
so that you can
respond and vice versa.
00:36:49.10\00:36:51.87
And yet people
can go through a day
00:36:51.91\00:36:55.78
and not really hear each other.
00:36:55.81\00:36:57.81
Family members
can go through life
00:36:57.85\00:37:00.38
not really
listening to each other.
00:37:00.42\00:37:02.48
I'm guilty.
00:37:02.52\00:37:03.85
So it's, it's a
critical thing that we listen
00:37:03.89\00:37:06.86
and that we listen actively
to what someone is saying.
00:37:06.89\00:37:10.03
And as you just said,
if your ego was involved,
00:37:10.06\00:37:14.26
you're not gonna really listen
00:37:14.30\00:37:15.86
to what somebody else has to say
00:37:15.90\00:37:17.23
because you don't
really see the value
00:37:17.27\00:37:18.60
in what
somebody else has to say.
00:37:18.63\00:37:20.40
Not you, but I'm
talking in general.
00:37:20.44\00:37:21.77
No, no, no, you're
right. It is me, it's me.
00:37:21.80\00:37:23.87
I'm just saying,
you know, in general,
00:37:23.91\00:37:25.77
if you don't see the value
in what someone else has to say
00:37:25.81\00:37:29.01
and you feel that you have
00:37:29.04\00:37:31.15
the most important
thing to contribute,
00:37:31.18\00:37:34.22
you're not going
to really listen,
00:37:34.25\00:37:36.28
and that's a huge
mistake that people make.
00:37:36.32\00:37:37.95
It's huge.
00:37:37.99\00:37:40.02
I remember an example
that happened back in 1988
00:37:40.06\00:37:42.66
when George H. W. Bush
was running for President.
00:37:42.69\00:37:45.66
Barbara Bush was on the road
00:37:45.69\00:37:47.03
and she helped him to walk here
to speak to group of educators,
00:37:47.06\00:37:49.56
but for some strange reason,
her speech didn't go with her.
00:37:49.60\00:37:54.57
She didn't have speech to give
00:37:54.60\00:37:56.00
and so she was able
to pivot on her own,
00:37:56.04\00:37:59.07
as she turned to these educators
00:37:59.11\00:38:00.44
'cause she was talking about
00:38:00.48\00:38:01.81
an educational
initiative of her husband,
00:38:01.84\00:38:03.18
and she turned to them and said,
00:38:03.21\00:38:04.95
"What are the
educational issues here
00:38:04.98\00:38:07.65
in the state of Wisconsin?"
00:38:07.68\00:38:10.19
And they were more than
happy to feed her information
00:38:10.22\00:38:12.45
that ultimately
became a part of the platform
00:38:12.49\00:38:14.69
because a small
thing that I've learned,
00:38:14.72\00:38:17.23
when you talk, you
immobilize yourself.
00:38:17.26\00:38:22.46
What do you mean?
00:38:22.50\00:38:23.83
When you talk,
you're giving out.
00:38:23.87\00:38:25.77
We learn nothing by talking.
00:38:25.80\00:38:28.10
We learn
everything by listening.
00:38:28.14\00:38:29.47
So while I'm
talking to you right now,
00:38:29.50\00:38:31.44
I'm immobilizing myself
00:38:31.47\00:38:33.34
and you're
mobilizing yourself against me.
00:38:33.38\00:38:37.05
I mean, you're
coming up with questions
00:38:37.08\00:38:38.41
based on what I've said,
00:38:38.45\00:38:39.78
what kind of
cues I may have given.
00:38:39.81\00:38:41.28
And so the more we listen,
00:38:41.32\00:38:46.39
the more we learn.
00:38:46.42\00:38:48.22
You know, we
think we learn a lot
00:38:48.26\00:38:49.66
but we learn nothing by talking.
00:38:49.69\00:38:51.29
When Ruth Simmons became
00:38:51.33\00:38:52.66
the President of
Brown University,
00:38:52.69\00:38:54.13
the first African
American President
00:38:54.16\00:38:55.90
of an Ivy League school.
00:38:55.93\00:38:57.40
Story says that she
spent the first six months
00:38:57.43\00:38:59.40
just walking around
00:38:59.43\00:39:00.77
office to office to
office just listening.
00:39:00.80\00:39:04.24
And then she put
together her program
00:39:04.27\00:39:07.21
for leading the school
00:39:07.24\00:39:08.64
because she
listened to the people,
00:39:08.68\00:39:10.51
listened to the little people
00:39:10.55\00:39:11.98
who were more than happy
00:39:12.01\00:39:13.35
because they've never
been listened to before.
00:39:13.38\00:39:16.28
And she listened actively
00:39:16.32\00:39:18.49
and put that
information together.
00:39:18.52\00:39:20.02
And so I am recovering
00:39:20.06\00:39:23.83
because I'm a speaker
00:39:23.86\00:39:25.39
and speakers have a bad habit
of speaking and not listening.
00:39:25.43\00:39:30.53
And we need to learn
00:39:30.57\00:39:31.90
to develop
greater listening skills.
00:39:31.93\00:39:34.57
Last point, the same letters
that make up the word "Listen"
00:39:34.60\00:39:39.04
are the same letters that
make up the word "Silent."
00:39:39.07\00:39:42.31
Um, interesting, yeah.
00:39:42.34\00:39:45.61
Yeah.
00:39:45.65\00:39:47.22
And see the joy,
but here is the joy,
00:39:47.25\00:39:50.49
we learned how to listen
00:39:50.52\00:39:53.69
and we learned how
to be poor listeners.
00:39:53.72\00:39:56.09
We can learn now how to
become better listeners.
00:39:56.12\00:39:58.99
Right, right.
00:39:59.03\00:40:00.36
Step number four says
00:40:00.40\00:40:01.76
that we need to
restart our engines
00:40:01.80\00:40:04.27
for better mileage.
00:40:04.30\00:40:05.63
And here I talk about
00:40:05.67\00:40:07.00
we all need to
grow up to be children.
00:40:07.04\00:40:09.97
Okay, explain that. Okay.
00:40:10.01\00:40:13.17
There is an
honesty and an innocence
00:40:13.21\00:40:15.38
in a
transparency about children.
00:40:15.41\00:40:17.95
They will let you
know when they're hurt,
00:40:17.98\00:40:19.91
they'll let you know
when you've got bad breath,
00:40:19.95\00:40:22.18
they'll let you
know when someone
00:40:22.22\00:40:24.35
is not treating them right.
00:40:24.39\00:40:25.95
You know, they have little
to no pretence about them.
00:40:25.99\00:40:30.06
We will develop and we will grow
00:40:30.09\00:40:33.43
when we can get rid of
all the pretence that we have.
00:40:33.46\00:40:36.03
And we've got lots of it.
00:40:36.06\00:40:37.40
I've got it, we all have it.
00:40:37.43\00:40:38.93
But if we can ever
learn to start over again,
00:40:38.97\00:40:42.54
be willing to start
over again, it's not easy.
00:40:42.57\00:40:46.21
But here is the key.
00:40:46.24\00:40:47.58
We don't have to do it alone.
00:40:47.61\00:40:50.55
That's the key to
egoholism recovering.
00:40:50.58\00:40:54.48
You can't cure
it, you can solve it,
00:40:54.52\00:40:55.85
you can't eliminate
it, but with God's help,
00:40:55.88\00:40:57.52
God will help you to manage it.
00:40:57.55\00:40:59.39
I talk about
management just like
00:40:59.42\00:41:01.16
when I came here
to 3ABN building,
00:41:01.19\00:41:02.79
the grass was
very well manicured.
00:41:02.82\00:41:05.73
It didn't just get like that.
00:41:05.76\00:41:07.96
And just because it got
cut maybe earlier this week,
00:41:08.00\00:41:10.43
it's not going to be like
that the next week this time.
00:41:10.47\00:41:14.20
It has to be cut or managed.
00:41:14.24\00:41:17.11
You know, your
hair looks very pretty.
00:41:17.14\00:41:18.47
I love the flow
of it and everything.
00:41:18.51\00:41:20.18
Thank you.
00:41:20.21\00:41:21.54
You didn't just wake
up this morning with it,
00:41:21.58\00:41:23.48
boom, like that.
00:41:23.51\00:41:24.85
No.
00:41:24.88\00:41:26.21
You had to work with that.
00:41:26.25\00:41:27.58
You know, unlike mine,
you had to work with it.
00:41:27.62\00:41:30.79
That's management.
00:41:30.82\00:41:32.89
Well, God works with us.
00:41:32.92\00:41:35.49
I will always,
Yvonne, be selfish.
00:41:35.52\00:41:39.19
I will always be
a procrastinator.
00:41:39.23\00:41:42.20
I will always,
because it's in my DNA.
00:41:42.23\00:41:45.47
And it's like, Paul
with the thorn in his flesh.
00:41:45.50\00:41:48.14
God said, "No,
you need to keep that
00:41:48.17\00:41:49.54
so that you will stay humble."
00:41:49.57\00:41:51.84
I will always have that
those problems, that spaides.
00:41:51.87\00:41:55.78
But through recovering,
00:41:55.81\00:41:57.48
God is shown me
how to manage it.
00:41:57.51\00:41:59.91
It's the way I talk
about the common cold,
00:41:59.95\00:42:01.45
the way I talk about cancer.
00:42:01.48\00:42:04.35
We hear people in
church, saying I'm cancer free,
00:42:04.39\00:42:06.12
well, Hallelujah.
00:42:06.15\00:42:07.72
Reality is all of us
have cancer cells in us,
00:42:07.76\00:42:12.16
all of us.
00:42:12.19\00:42:13.53
"So all of us have cancer."
00:42:13.56\00:42:15.36
When it gets to
an excessive level,
00:42:15.40\00:42:17.20
that's it's says,
"We've got cancer."
00:42:17.23\00:42:19.13
And then we go to hospital,
00:42:19.17\00:42:20.50
get treatment
and get things down
00:42:20.54\00:42:22.00
to bring it down
to a certain level
00:42:22.04\00:42:23.97
so that we're
not in a danger zone.
00:42:24.01\00:42:27.08
It's same with the common cold.
00:42:27.11\00:42:28.44
We hear someone talk about
some pharmaceutical company
00:42:28.48\00:42:30.55
that's invented something
to cure the common cold.
00:42:30.58\00:42:32.61
No.
00:42:32.65\00:42:33.98
The common cold
is gonna be here,
00:42:34.02\00:42:35.35
but we learned
to do is manage it,
00:42:35.38\00:42:37.52
'cause it's gonna
come back next year.
00:42:37.55\00:42:38.89
Weeds in your garden,
00:42:38.92\00:42:40.26
they're gonna
come back next year.
00:42:40.29\00:42:41.62
We learned to manage
it the same with the ego.
00:42:41.66\00:42:43.83
God will help us to manage it.
00:42:43.86\00:42:46.46
Step five talks about...
00:42:46.49\00:42:48.36
I love step 5.
00:42:48.40\00:42:49.96
It says turn your
lemons into lemonade.
00:42:50.00\00:42:54.80
In this, I talk about.
00:42:54.84\00:42:56.30
I have a piece of it entitled
00:42:56.34\00:42:57.97
"How he went from Barack
bottom to the White House?"
00:42:58.01\00:43:02.01
You know, when he
lost the congressional race
00:43:02.04\00:43:04.05
to the Bobby Rush
back in 2000, I think 2000.
00:43:04.08\00:43:08.78
The seeds of that loss became
the foundation for his win.
00:43:08.82\00:43:14.86
When he looked
through that race,
00:43:14.89\00:43:16.46
he begin to notice
the fundraising acumen
00:43:16.49\00:43:22.16
of little black
churches in Chicago,
00:43:22.20\00:43:24.70
how older women
00:43:24.73\00:43:26.27
and people would
just give small donations
00:43:26.30\00:43:28.24
on a regular basis.
00:43:28.27\00:43:29.60
We at Seventh-day
Adventist call that
00:43:29.64\00:43:30.97
systematic benevolence,
00:43:31.01\00:43:32.84
and he learned
that and he became
00:43:32.87\00:43:34.38
the greatest
fundraiser in political history,
00:43:34.41\00:43:36.44
and the rest is history.
00:43:36.48\00:43:37.81
So we've got learn to
turn our lemons into lemonade.
00:43:37.85\00:43:41.12
One example I love
to use is what I call
00:43:41.15\00:43:42.68
"Your Mount Moriah moments."
00:43:42.72\00:43:44.62
Taken out of the
story of Abraham and Isaac,
00:43:44.65\00:43:47.29
bottom line,
everything is a test.
00:43:47.32\00:43:50.23
Everything is a test.
00:43:50.26\00:43:51.73
The beauty of the test is
that God is the test maker,
00:43:51.76\00:43:56.56
God is the test giver,
God administers the test.
00:43:56.60\00:44:00.60
And when you and I
fail, as we often do,
00:44:00.64\00:44:03.14
God gives us a make-up exam.
00:44:03.17\00:44:06.31
And God surrounds us
00:44:06.34\00:44:07.68
with people
become that study group.
00:44:07.71\00:44:10.05
And He is such a good test maker
00:44:10.08\00:44:12.55
that He gives us
the answers in advance.
00:44:12.58\00:44:16.82
That's the beauty. Nice, nice.
00:44:16.85\00:44:18.59
Step six says our
healing is in our revealing.
00:44:18.62\00:44:22.39
In this I talk about
Hilary Clinton for example
00:44:22.42\00:44:24.59
and how in her
first autobiography,
00:44:24.63\00:44:27.96
everybody wanted to
reads about Monica Lewinsky.
00:44:28.00\00:44:30.47
The biggest part of the book
was in pager 764 when she said,
00:44:30.50\00:44:35.07
"I insist that Bill
00:44:35.10\00:44:36.57
and I go to counseling
to save our marriage."
00:44:36.60\00:44:41.44
She became a heroine to
about 700,000 couples a year
00:44:41.48\00:44:45.38
in America that
go to counseling.
00:44:45.41\00:44:47.25
So in her revealing,
she began to heal people.
00:44:47.28\00:44:49.52
And I say in the book,
00:44:49.55\00:44:50.89
you begin to heal people
when you tell your story.
00:44:50.92\00:44:54.59
And step seven...
00:44:54.62\00:44:55.96
Wait before you go there.
00:44:55.99\00:44:57.33
It's important
to tell your story
00:44:57.36\00:45:01.46
not just to heal
people but it also heals you.
00:45:01.50\00:45:05.03
Oh, yes.
00:45:05.07\00:45:06.40
Because you become,
when you're transparent
00:45:06.43\00:45:10.04
and you tell what
God has done for you,
00:45:10.07\00:45:12.14
it all goes back to
what has God done for you.
00:45:12.17\00:45:15.54
So it's not even you per
se, but it's what God has done,
00:45:15.58\00:45:19.88
it's how in this situation,
00:45:19.91\00:45:22.28
how He has
shined a light on areas
00:45:22.32\00:45:26.05
that you need work in,
areas that I need work on.
00:45:26.09\00:45:28.82
That's what He does.
00:45:28.86\00:45:30.19
That's the Holy Spirit's
job to convict us of sin.
00:45:30.23\00:45:33.46
And so what is sin? It's self.
00:45:33.50\00:45:38.10
And so we all are
egoholics. Yes, we are.
00:45:38.13\00:45:41.50
That's the bottom
line, we're all ego-holics,
00:45:41.54\00:45:44.61
we're all sinners
in need of the Savior.
00:45:44.64\00:45:47.41
So He has enabled you to write
00:45:47.44\00:45:52.51
these books with these steps
00:45:52.55\00:45:54.82
to help to get
victory over self.
00:45:54.85\00:45:57.59
Yes.
00:45:57.62\00:45:58.95
And the first
victory is right here
00:45:58.99\00:46:01.29
because as I become transparent,
00:46:01.32\00:46:03.83
as God shines through
me, I can't help but share.
00:46:03.86\00:46:08.70
It's not pretty, it's not easy.
00:46:08.73\00:46:11.40
It's very, very self condemning,
00:46:11.43\00:46:13.90
but it will help to heal people.
00:46:13.94\00:46:15.27
And the comments that
I get from the people,
00:46:15.30\00:46:17.51
you know, but you're right.
00:46:17.54\00:46:19.17
And step seven,
the final step says,
00:46:19.21\00:46:21.31
now that you know,
go elevate and grow.
00:46:21.34\00:46:25.68
Write your
story, write your story,
00:46:25.71\00:46:28.12
thoughts disentangle themselves
00:46:28.15\00:46:29.75
when they pass
through your fingertips.
00:46:29.78\00:46:31.65
You have a story to tell.
00:46:31.69\00:46:33.02
And I throw a bonus in
there, it's a eight book series,
00:46:33.05\00:46:35.79
book number seven is entitled
00:46:35.82\00:46:37.66
"What happened
to Dr. Tim Allston."
00:46:37.69\00:46:41.23
I was working on my doctorate.
00:46:41.26\00:46:43.13
I had just got my
dissertation topic approved.
00:46:43.16\00:46:46.23
I had 99 average in my class.
00:46:46.27\00:46:48.54
I had one more class
to go, I was rolling.
00:46:48.57\00:46:51.81
You had one class
left? And one class left.
00:46:51.84\00:46:54.84
I had just gotten the
dissertation approved,
00:46:54.88\00:46:57.25
had a 99 average in the class.
00:46:57.28\00:46:58.95
I was on the fast track.
00:46:58.98\00:47:01.32
And on Tuesday,
February 24, 2015,
00:47:01.35\00:47:05.95
Oakwood fired me for
third and final time.
00:47:05.99\00:47:09.82
And my wife
said, I told my wife,
00:47:09.86\00:47:12.29
she said, "Well,
00:47:12.33\00:47:13.73
since that money
is not coming in,
00:47:13.76\00:47:15.10
would you consider sitting
out a semester from school?"
00:47:15.13\00:47:19.03
I mean, I'm right
at the end of the line,
00:47:19.07\00:47:20.40
I don't want to hear that,
00:47:20.44\00:47:21.77
but I said "Let
me pray about it,"
00:47:21.80\00:47:23.34
'cause I stopped,
00:47:23.37\00:47:24.71
I began to stop trusting myself.
00:47:24.74\00:47:26.61
That was on
Tuesday, February 24.
00:47:26.64\00:47:28.64
On Wednesday,
00:47:28.68\00:47:30.08
we had a
snowstorm in Huntsville.
00:47:30.11\00:47:31.71
Not like snowstorms
here in Downstate Illinois.
00:47:31.75\00:47:34.55
I mean, we had an inch
and that shutdown Huntsville.
00:47:34.58\00:47:37.89
Yeah, yeah. So
that was Wednesday.
00:47:37.92\00:47:39.72
Thursday morning, I get up
to shovel out our driveway.
00:47:39.75\00:47:42.02
You know, my wife and I
are from Maryland in Virginia.
00:47:42.06\00:47:44.63
So we had the only shovel
00:47:44.66\00:47:46.43
on the whole
block in Huntsville.
00:47:46.46\00:47:48.03
So there's a couple,
00:47:48.06\00:47:49.40
there's a lady and her
daughter across the street
00:47:49.43\00:47:51.47
and they don't
have an adult male,
00:47:51.50\00:47:52.90
so I shovel out my
driveway, I shovel theirs out.
00:47:52.93\00:47:55.14
So I'm having this conversation
with God, I'm going like,
00:47:55.17\00:47:57.01
"What's up?
00:47:57.04\00:47:58.37
You know, I'm at the
end of this doctoral program
00:47:58.41\00:48:00.84
and all of a sudden
you just yank the carpet."
00:48:00.88\00:48:02.34
God said, "Why were
you in the doctoral program
00:48:02.38\00:48:04.35
in the first place?"
00:48:04.38\00:48:05.71
I was like, "What?"
00:48:05.75\00:48:07.95
I said, "I'm in
higher education,
00:48:07.98\00:48:09.95
in a higher education, the
doctorate is a union card."
00:48:09.98\00:48:12.05
He said "Mm-hm."
00:48:12.09\00:48:13.42
He said, "What are you
gonna do your dissertation on?"
00:48:13.46\00:48:15.36
I said, "I thought
about initially doing
00:48:15.39\00:48:16.73
on this egoholism."
00:48:16.76\00:48:18.09
He said, "But you changed."
"Yes, I see, I changed."
00:48:18.13\00:48:19.53
He said, "Why?"
00:48:19.56\00:48:20.90
I said, "I didn't want
a dissertation committee
00:48:20.93\00:48:24.47
of atheist chopping, slicing,
and dicing on your word."
00:48:24.50\00:48:27.60
He said, "You're smart."
00:48:27.64\00:48:28.97
He said, "What did you
then choose to do it on?"
00:48:29.00\00:48:30.34
I said, "I want to do it on
how to market adult education
00:48:30.37\00:48:33.84
to faith-based historically
black college and universities,
00:48:33.88\00:48:36.44
which are the most
financially starved schools
00:48:36.48\00:48:38.18
in the country."
00:48:38.21\00:48:39.55
He said, "And
what were you gonna do
00:48:39.58\00:48:40.92
with that dissertation?"
00:48:40.95\00:48:42.28
I said, "I was gonna
roll that into a book
00:48:42.32\00:48:44.19
and then use that as a
marketing tool to consult
00:48:44.22\00:48:47.42
with all these
different schools."
00:48:47.46\00:48:49.22
He said, "Mm-hm."
00:48:49.26\00:48:50.63
He said, "I see."
00:48:50.66\00:48:51.99
He said, "Let me
ask you a question, Tim.
00:48:52.03\00:48:53.96
If you had done
all of those things
00:48:54.00\00:48:57.53
and put that book out
and condemn this consulting,
00:48:57.57\00:49:00.20
who would have
gotten the credit?
00:49:00.24\00:49:01.57
The doctorate or Me?"
00:49:01.60\00:49:03.71
I said, "Whoa!"
00:49:03.74\00:49:06.81
I said, "But wait a minute,
Lord," I said, "you got me in.
00:49:06.84\00:49:09.61
You allowed me to get
into this doctoral program."
00:49:09.64\00:49:11.61
And I said, "And..."
00:49:11.65\00:49:12.98
I'm getting mad
with the Lord now.
00:49:13.01\00:49:15.55
I said, "I'm shoveling and mad."
00:49:15.58\00:49:17.85
I said, "I've
just kicked out $26,460
00:49:17.89\00:49:21.52
in this doctoral program.
00:49:21.56\00:49:23.02
Don't you want me to
be a good steward, Lord?"
00:49:23.06\00:49:25.69
You know, and the God said
"Let me ask you a question,
00:49:25.73\00:49:29.56
what was your work
experience at the institution?"
00:49:29.60\00:49:32.13
I said "It was terrible."
00:49:32.17\00:49:33.50
I said "I would do proposals
I wouldn't get answer to,
00:49:33.54\00:49:36.57
this, that, and the other."
00:49:36.60\00:49:37.94
He said "Was it
frustrating?" I said "Yes."
00:49:37.97\00:49:40.74
He said "People that
get as frustrated as you,
00:49:40.78\00:49:42.91
what do they do?"
00:49:42.94\00:49:44.28
I said "They smoke, they drink,
they get high, they gamble,
00:49:44.31\00:49:47.52
they have affairs."
00:49:47.55\00:49:48.88
He said "Did you?" I said "No."
00:49:48.92\00:49:50.25
He said "What did you do?
00:49:50.29\00:49:51.62
I said, "I talked
about that institution
00:49:51.65\00:49:53.56
like a dog on those papers
00:49:53.59\00:49:55.26
that I was
writing because I knew
00:49:55.29\00:49:56.62
they'd never see them."
00:49:56.66\00:49:57.99
He said, you
know, "How did you do?"
00:49:58.03\00:49:59.36
I said, "I got
As on those papers."
00:49:59.39\00:50:00.96
He said, "Okay."
00:50:01.00\00:50:03.63
I said, "But, God, you took away
00:50:03.67\00:50:06.33
the research site,
00:50:06.37\00:50:10.54
which is the gas station,
you took away the vehicle,
00:50:10.57\00:50:14.08
the car and you've
taken away the gas."
00:50:14.11\00:50:16.95
He said Mm-hm.
00:50:16.98\00:50:18.48
He said "The
purpose of you doing
00:50:18.51\00:50:20.82
that doctorate was not
for you to get a doctorate.
00:50:20.85\00:50:23.12
It was for you
to amicably work out
00:50:23.15\00:50:25.62
your frustrations."
00:50:25.65\00:50:28.06
And now that the
frustration is gone,
00:50:28.09\00:50:30.79
you don't need
the doctorate anymore.
00:50:30.83\00:50:33.26
He said, "When I send
the message through you
00:50:33.29\00:50:35.73
and that message is not
that doctoral dissertation,
00:50:35.76\00:50:38.80
it's the egoholism
recovering message,
00:50:38.83\00:50:41.10
I don't want anything
or anybody getting credit
00:50:41.14\00:50:44.87
for you but Me, not a doctorate,
00:50:44.91\00:50:47.71
not an institution not
100 black men of America,
00:50:47.74\00:50:52.28
not Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity,
00:50:52.31\00:50:53.75
not Hampton, not Oakwood,
I only want the credit."
00:50:53.78\00:50:56.32
I said, "Oh."
00:50:56.35\00:50:58.92
And God said,
00:50:58.95\00:51:00.29
"One last
question for you, Tim."
00:51:00.32\00:51:01.76
He said "If you had
smoked, if you had drunk,
00:51:01.79\00:51:03.53
if you had gotten
high, if you had gamble,
00:51:03.56\00:51:05.03
if you had had an affair,
00:51:05.06\00:51:07.03
how much money
would you have spent?"
00:51:07.06\00:51:09.03
And I said,
00:51:09.06\00:51:10.40
"Oh, my word,
00:51:10.43\00:51:12.87
26,460 bucks."
00:51:12.90\00:51:16.87
I said "I get it."
00:51:16.91\00:51:18.34
I finished shoveling, went in,
00:51:18.37\00:51:20.21
and withdrew from
Capella University
00:51:20.24\00:51:21.88
and never looked back.
00:51:21.91\00:51:24.78
So that book is entitled,
00:51:24.81\00:51:27.08
"Whatever Happened
to Dr. Tim Allston."
00:51:27.12\00:51:29.25
And God showed me
I am a jealous God,
00:51:29.28\00:51:33.15
mine is the divine jealousy,
00:51:33.19\00:51:34.79
and only I will get
credit for your recovery.
00:51:34.82\00:51:38.76
Wow.
00:51:38.79\00:51:40.86
And so after you had had
that dialogue with the Lord,
00:51:40.90\00:51:44.67
were you at total peace about it
00:51:44.70\00:51:46.77
or were you still feeling like,
00:51:46.80\00:51:48.77
"Well, could we
just revisit this?"
00:51:48.80\00:51:51.54
Shoveling snow that day
was a wilderness experience,
00:51:54.84\00:51:57.78
just Him, the snow, and me.
00:51:57.81\00:52:00.82
And I've learned about
the wilderness experience
00:52:00.85\00:52:02.72
of Dr. John Maxwell
that in the wilderness
00:52:02.75\00:52:04.79
is where your
backbone gets solidified,
00:52:04.82\00:52:06.99
your calling gets clarified,
and your motives get purified.
00:52:07.02\00:52:11.19
In that short
two-hour wilderness experience
00:52:11.23\00:52:16.16
when God dropped that on me,
00:52:16.20\00:52:17.73
and it was almost as
audible an conversation,
00:52:17.77\00:52:21.94
I had never had
a second thought.
00:52:21.97\00:52:24.07
It was like boom,
00:52:24.11\00:52:26.57
never regretted not
having that doctorate
00:52:26.61\00:52:29.58
because I
understood that that doctorate,
00:52:29.61\00:52:32.05
for some that's fine.
00:52:32.08\00:52:33.58
You know, I'm glad
that you've got a doctorate
00:52:33.62\00:52:35.22
in natural therapy,
00:52:35.25\00:52:37.32
but for me, it would
have been a distraction
00:52:37.35\00:52:42.72
from doing expressly
00:52:42.76\00:52:44.79
God wanted me to be
totally stripped down
00:52:44.83\00:52:48.23
so that all I
could do was look at Him,
00:52:48.26\00:52:51.07
not a doctorate,
not an organization,
00:52:51.10\00:52:53.44
not a guaranteed check,
00:52:53.47\00:52:54.87
He wanted me to be His
broker at Ten Commandments
00:52:54.90\00:52:57.74
and simply serve Him.
00:52:57.77\00:53:00.64
I get it. Wow, wow.
00:53:00.68\00:53:03.75
So where are you
now in your journey?
00:53:03.78\00:53:08.62
What does God have
you doing at this point?
00:53:08.65\00:53:11.65
Right now I have produced
the book, self published,
00:53:11.69\00:53:16.29
and I have
launched it as a free book.
00:53:16.32\00:53:18.53
How can people get it?
00:53:18.56\00:53:20.10
They simply go to
my website which is,
00:53:20.13\00:53:22.53
www.GetEgoHelpNow.org.
00:53:22.56\00:53:27.94
And there
they're able to download
00:53:27.97\00:53:29.54
their free copy of the book.
00:53:29.57\00:53:32.01
www.GetEgoHelpNow.org,
and it's free.
00:53:32.04\00:53:35.28
It's free, it's free.
00:53:35.31\00:53:36.64
You can't get
any better than free.
00:53:36.68\00:53:38.01
You really can't.
You really, really can't.
00:53:38.05\00:53:40.45
And the reason
it's free, Yvonne,
00:53:40.48\00:53:42.38
is that I'm dealing
with a brand new concept.
00:53:42.42\00:53:46.12
See if you were to write a book
00:53:46.15\00:53:47.79
from your background as
a vocalist, as a teacher,
00:53:47.82\00:53:50.66
you know, as a
hostess of a show,
00:53:50.69\00:53:53.06
as a manager of this network,
00:53:53.09\00:53:55.26
your book would be
written about success
00:53:55.30\00:53:57.87
and people would buy your
book because you're successful.
00:53:57.90\00:54:01.17
I'm a serial failure,
00:54:01.20\00:54:04.54
no-one wants to buy
a book about a failure,
00:54:04.57\00:54:08.51
so therefore because
00:54:08.54\00:54:09.88
we don't value
failures in the society,
00:54:09.91\00:54:13.72
but it is a concept
that is very, very applicable
00:54:13.75\00:54:17.12
and intimate to everybody,
00:54:17.15\00:54:19.12
I give it to people free
because I want them to...
00:54:19.15\00:54:23.36
It's my seed sowing.
00:54:23.39\00:54:25.06
I want them to chew
on and let the idea,
00:54:25.09\00:54:28.90
the concept, marinate with them,
00:54:28.93\00:54:30.87
and I don't want a
cost to be a prohibition
00:54:30.90\00:54:35.74
or to be an impediment.
00:54:35.77\00:54:37.54
Now the eight book series
00:54:37.57\00:54:39.87
that is coming after
that will not be free.
00:54:39.91\00:54:42.01
And as I said I'll move
people from free to shining fee.
00:54:42.04\00:54:44.61
From free...
00:54:48.35\00:54:49.92
From free to
shining fee. Shining fee.
00:54:49.95\00:54:52.45
Okay, but this
initial book is free.
00:54:52.49\00:54:54.76
It is free, it is totally
free. And it's an e-book.
00:54:54.79\00:54:56.12
It's an e-book.
00:54:56.16\00:54:57.49
So...
00:54:57.53\00:54:58.86
And it's a one-sitting read.
00:54:58.89\00:55:00.23
You can read the
book in 30 minutes.
00:55:00.26\00:55:01.63
Yes. It's a 27-page book.
00:55:01.66\00:55:03.33
Now let me just throw this in.
00:55:03.37\00:55:05.73
Because most people
are gonna read it on
00:55:05.77\00:55:07.34
a mobile device or
an electronic device,
00:55:07.37\00:55:09.54
I have taking this 27-page
book and I have stretched it.
00:55:09.57\00:55:12.17
Some pages only
have one paragraph on it,
00:55:12.21\00:55:14.71
you know,
00:55:14.74\00:55:16.08
but I want people
to be able to read it,
00:55:16.11\00:55:18.21
to pray on it,
00:55:18.25\00:55:19.58
to see if it
relates them for them
00:55:19.61\00:55:20.95
to ask
themselves some penetrating,
00:55:20.98\00:55:22.82
some searing
questions, and to go from there.
00:55:22.85\00:55:25.45
And I knew, I knew
that I needed to remove
00:55:25.49\00:55:30.26
and get past the gatekeeper
00:55:30.29\00:55:32.33
and the gatekeeper
00:55:32.36\00:55:33.70
was my biggest
competitor is tradition.
00:55:33.73\00:55:37.67
How so?
00:55:37.70\00:55:39.03
Well, first of all,
00:55:39.07\00:55:41.10
people don't believe
they have ego problems,
00:55:41.14\00:55:43.34
first of all.
00:55:43.37\00:55:44.71
Number two, people think
00:55:44.74\00:55:46.51
that if you talk
about a ego problem,
00:55:46.54\00:55:49.41
if it's gonna be discussed,
it's got to be with a doctor,
00:55:49.44\00:55:53.21
a clinical therapist,
an academic professor,
00:55:53.25\00:55:56.99
an ordained minister,
even possibly a lawyer.
00:55:57.02\00:55:59.95
As I say in the
book, I'm not a doctor,
00:55:59.99\00:56:02.69
I'm the patient, I'm
not an ordained pastor,
00:56:02.72\00:56:05.96
I'm the sinner in the pew.
00:56:05.99\00:56:07.83
I'm not a clinical
therapist, I'm the client.
00:56:07.86\00:56:11.33
You know, I'm not the professor,
00:56:11.37\00:56:13.57
I'm the student
who need advisement.
00:56:13.60\00:56:15.50
I'm not the
lawyer, I'm the victim.
00:56:15.54\00:56:17.41
And unfortunately,
00:56:17.44\00:56:18.77
I also have
been the perpetrator.
00:56:18.81\00:56:20.98
So this book is
about Tim Allston
00:56:21.01\00:56:23.45
without deodorant,
00:56:23.48\00:56:26.61
Tim Allston without mouthwash.
00:56:26.65\00:56:29.32
It is raw honesty.
00:56:29.35\00:56:33.36
And it is unique
because it's told
00:56:33.39\00:56:35.06
from the other side of the desk.
00:56:35.09\00:56:39.23
So many people...
00:56:39.26\00:56:40.60
I mean,
everybody has experienced
00:56:40.63\00:56:43.16
on some level,
some kind of failure.
00:56:43.20\00:56:45.97
That's how you learn,
00:56:46.00\00:56:47.47
but we're so
thankful with you, Tim,
00:56:47.50\00:56:50.31
that you've taken
these areas of life
00:56:50.34\00:56:53.54
that have been
challenges for you
00:56:53.58\00:56:55.54
and God has
given you this desire
00:56:55.58\00:56:58.81
to share with others the
places in which you failed
00:56:58.85\00:57:03.28
and yet it just
brings inspiration and hope.
00:57:03.32\00:57:07.79
I read the book
00:57:07.82\00:57:09.16
and I was blessed by it
and appreciate your journey.
00:57:09.19\00:57:12.39
Thank you. So we appreciate.
00:57:12.43\00:57:13.76
What is it...
00:57:13.80\00:57:16.53
Well, I can't
believe our time is up.
00:57:16.56\00:57:19.17
I just looked at the
clock, and it's like...
00:57:19.20\00:57:20.74
Let me say this quickly.
00:57:20.77\00:57:22.54
Thank you. Thank you.
00:57:22.57\00:57:23.94
My wife Elaine will tell
you that I'm not recovered.
00:57:23.97\00:57:26.78
Okay, you're on the
road. I am on the road.
00:57:26.81\00:57:29.04
You're on the road though.
00:57:29.08\00:57:30.41
And my daughter will tell
you that I'm not out the woods,
00:57:30.45\00:57:32.75
but thanks be to God,
00:57:32.78\00:57:34.25
I am escaping
00:57:34.28\00:57:35.62
and I ask everybody
to join me in my getaway.
00:57:35.65\00:57:37.49
All right.
00:57:37.52\00:57:38.85
Well, thank you so
much for joining us.
00:57:38.89\00:57:40.29
Thank you.
00:57:40.32\00:57:41.66
And make sure you
order that book go to...
00:57:41.69\00:57:44.73
www.GetEgoHelpNow.org.
00:57:44.76\00:57:49.30
It's been a blessing.
And thank you for joining us.
00:57:49.33\00:57:52.97
Make sure that
you order this book.
00:57:53.00\00:57:54.70
It's going to be a blessing
for you and inspirational too.
00:57:54.74\00:57:59.21
I can't believe
00:57:59.24\00:58:00.58
that we've reached the
end of another program.
00:58:00.61\00:58:02.04
Join us next time
00:58:02.08\00:58:03.41
because it just wouldn't
be the same without you.
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