Stay tuned to meet a man whose journey through hardship 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.06 and abuse will inspire you, 00:00:03.10\00:00:04.67 he is an overcomer and you can be too. 00:00:04.70\00:00:07.60 My name is Yvonne Lewis 00:00:07.64\00:00:09.17 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:00:09.20\00:00:11.07 Hello and welcome to Urban Report. 00:00:34.70\00:00:36.83 My guest today is Christian Berdahl, 00:00:36.87\00:00:38.93 President and Founder of Shepherd's Call Ministry. 00:00:38.97\00:00:41.87 Shepherd's Call Ministry is an Evangelistic, 00:00:41.90\00:00:44.91 Singing, Speaking and Video Production Ministry 00:00:44.94\00:00:47.91 dedicated to sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ 00:00:47.94\00:00:50.85 throughout the world, in ways that challenge 00:00:50.88\00:00:53.75 and inspire souls to connect with him. 00:00:53.78\00:00:56.02 Welcome to Urban Report Christian. 00:00:56.05\00:00:57.75 Thank you... thank you for having me... 00:00:57.79\00:00:59.12 it's so good to be here. 00:00:59.15\00:01:00.49 Oh, it's so great to have you, 00:01:00.52\00:01:01.86 you know, I've seen you on 3ABN before, 00:01:01.89\00:01:05.56 I've heard some of your music and I was in the D.C. area 00:01:05.59\00:01:10.67 when you were there with 00:01:10.73\00:01:12.13 Yolanda Palmer and the Ten Commandments... 00:01:12.20\00:01:16.54 what a beautiful project, what an amazing project... 00:01:16.57\00:01:20.74 It was a blessing to be a part of it. 00:01:20.78\00:01:22.11 Yes, yes, yes, yes, and the testimony that you gave 00:01:22.14\00:01:26.01 was mind-boggling... 00:01:26.05\00:01:28.32 I had no idea that you had gone through all of that... 00:01:28.35\00:01:31.85 and I thought, "Wow, I really want to have you on Urban Report 00:01:31.89\00:01:35.82 to talk about your journey. " 00:01:35.86\00:01:37.19 Sure... 00:01:37.23\00:01:38.56 So let's talk about your journey... 00:01:38.59\00:01:39.96 tell us about your family, 00:01:40.00\00:01:42.13 what kind of upbringing did you have? 00:01:42.16\00:01:44.33 were you born into a Christian family? 00:01:44.37\00:01:46.47 No, actually I was born into the absolute opposite, 00:01:46.50\00:01:49.04 my mother was 16 years old, 00:01:49.07\00:01:50.91 my father... when she got pregnant with me, 00:01:50.94\00:01:53.61 my father was 18... 00:01:53.64\00:01:54.98 and my mom just turned 17 when she had me, 00:01:55.01\00:01:57.65 by that time, my father was already a daily drinker at 19, 00:01:57.68\00:02:01.65 he was addicted to prescription drugs... 00:02:01.68\00:02:04.32 that he would steal from his parents and neighbor adults 00:02:04.35\00:02:08.46 and so, the addiction started very early 00:02:08.49\00:02:11.36 and my parents stayed together, had two more children 00:02:11.39\00:02:14.96 and when I was about 7 years old, 00:02:15.03\00:02:18.83 my mother got tired of moving around from place to place... 00:02:18.90\00:02:22.24 by the time I was seven, we had moved 13 different times 00:02:22.27\00:02:25.41 so an average of two times a year we were moving out 00:02:25.47\00:02:28.01 because when you don't pay the rent, you get kicked out 00:02:28.04\00:02:30.58 and so, my dad wasn't coming home, 00:02:30.61\00:02:33.08 he was an alcoholic, a drug addict and unfortunately 00:02:33.11\00:02:40.06 he was not faithful in his vows to my mother 00:02:40.09\00:02:42.39 and finally my mom had had enough and she divorced him. 00:02:42.42\00:02:45.33 And so... the beginning start of our life 00:02:45.36\00:02:48.76 was quite turbulent. 00:02:48.80\00:02:51.03 Yeah, so, your mom and your dad were kids... 00:02:51.07\00:02:53.84 Yes... 00:02:53.90\00:02:55.24 That's really the bottom line 00:02:55.27\00:02:56.60 they had not been developed, they had not... 00:02:56.64\00:02:58.67 they were just kids when they got together 00:02:58.74\00:03:01.01 kind of putting the cart before the horse 00:03:01.04\00:03:03.28 right, and so, they got together 00:03:03.31\00:03:05.58 and they weren't ready to be parents. 00:03:05.61\00:03:08.25 No, I mean, how does a child raise a child? 00:03:08.28\00:03:10.95 Exactly... babies having babies, right? 00:03:10.99\00:03:12.45 So, they were together for awhile... 00:03:12.49\00:03:15.59 but then, your mom just couldn't deal with it anymore 00:03:15.62\00:03:18.93 and she... they divorced. 00:03:18.96\00:03:20.53 What really broke the... 00:03:20.56\00:03:22.06 the straw that broke the camel's back, to use a phrase, was... 00:03:22.13\00:03:26.53 we were at a friend's house for a Sunday cookout and barbeque 00:03:26.57\00:03:30.94 and he got drunk as he always would 00:03:30.97\00:03:34.68 and it was time to go home 00:03:34.71\00:03:36.44 and he wouldn't give my mother the keys 00:03:36.48\00:03:37.91 and he drove all of us home 00:03:37.95\00:03:40.12 and he was just all over the road 00:03:40.15\00:03:41.98 and she was begging and pleading for him to stop... 00:03:42.02\00:03:44.49 and to pull over... and when we got home, 00:03:44.55\00:03:49.19 thank God... she said, "That's it... I'm leaving" 00:03:49.22\00:03:53.06 and she divorced him. 00:03:53.09\00:03:55.13 And they never reconciled, they never... 00:03:55.16\00:03:58.00 No, I mean... you can't reconcile 00:03:58.03\00:04:00.50 when one party doesn't see their issues and doesn't change. 00:04:00.54\00:04:03.57 Hmmm... hmmm... 00:04:03.61\00:04:04.94 And that was the state of mind that my father was in. 00:04:04.97\00:04:07.58 So, was your family like many others 00:04:07.61\00:04:10.11 when the father and mother divorce, 00:04:10.15\00:04:12.95 children are out of the dad's life too 00:04:12.98\00:04:15.78 or did you still have contact with him? 00:04:15.82\00:04:17.92 Well, we did have contact with him, 00:04:17.95\00:04:19.99 my mother was careful that the contact we had 00:04:20.02\00:04:23.26 was supervised and that was Court ordered, in fact, 00:04:23.29\00:04:26.19 because he was a danger to us. 00:04:26.23\00:04:27.56 I remember one of those weekends, 00:04:27.60\00:04:30.93 when... he had been doing pretty good... 00:04:30.97\00:04:33.44 he was in the Military, he thought, 00:04:33.47\00:04:35.30 "I'll join the Military... I'll get clean, I'll get sober there" 00:04:35.34\00:04:37.64 he found drugs and alcohol in the Military, unfortunately, 00:04:37.67\00:04:40.88 and so, now, he's just partying with his Commanding Officers 00:04:40.94\00:04:44.05 and he just went deeper into his addiction, 00:04:44.08\00:04:47.35 on one weekend, 00:04:47.38\00:04:49.75 he seemed like he was doing better, so my mom said, 00:04:49.78\00:04:51.72 "You can have the kids over at your mom's house... " 00:04:51.75\00:04:53.66 at my Nana's and unfortunately 00:04:53.69\00:04:56.96 she didn't realize he fell off the bandwagon 00:04:56.99\00:04:59.46 and he was even deeper into his addictions than ever 00:04:59.49\00:05:02.36 and on my tenth birthday on one of those visiting sessions 00:05:02.40\00:05:07.54 his bright idea was to give me my first beer 00:05:07.57\00:05:10.14 and go to the store and rent a couple of pornographic movies 00:05:10.21\00:05:15.34 and we three little boys sat there watching this... 00:05:15.38\00:05:18.88 going... "What is this?" 00:05:18.91\00:05:20.32 and unfortunately, later that night 00:05:20.35\00:05:23.22 my father, just being jacked up on those drugs 00:05:23.25\00:05:28.36 and on that alcohol... 00:05:28.39\00:05:29.86 molested myself and my middle brother Aaron so... 00:05:29.89\00:05:33.80 And this was the first time 00:05:33.83\00:05:35.83 that that had ever happened, he hadn't molested you before? 00:05:35.86\00:05:38.40 It's the first time that I remember 00:05:38.43\00:05:39.77 and I have no reason to believe it happened before. 00:05:39.80\00:05:42.84 Right... man! Christian... I mean that is so... 00:05:42.90\00:05:46.14 that's so painful... it wasn't even your step-dad, 00:05:46.17\00:05:49.68 it was your dad... 00:05:49.71\00:05:51.58 Yeah, and it became a big secret, frankly, 00:05:51.61\00:05:54.32 and my brother and I... we never talked about it.. 00:05:54.35\00:05:56.92 even when we were little, we never... 00:05:56.95\00:05:58.65 we just never said anything until we were adults 00:05:58.69\00:06:00.92 and we told my mother 00:06:00.96\00:06:02.32 and, of course, my mom just fell apart. 00:06:02.36\00:06:03.69 Yeah... yeah... so... you saw your dad this time 00:06:03.73\00:06:08.86 and that happened... 00:06:08.90\00:06:10.40 were you put back into his care ever again, did it happen again? 00:06:10.43\00:06:14.90 It was never without my grandparents around... 00:06:14.94\00:06:17.87 and that's just because it naturally happened that way, 00:06:17.91\00:06:21.11 there's a weird thing that happens in a little boy's mind 00:06:21.14\00:06:24.31 when you want your dad... 00:06:24.35\00:06:27.38 and so I was afraid if I told anybody, 00:06:27.42\00:06:30.02 I'd never be able to see him again 00:06:30.05\00:06:32.59 and I just had this deep desire to have my father in my life. 00:06:32.62\00:06:37.03 Sure, well, it's natural... that's your daddy... 00:06:37.06\00:06:39.36 Yeah, that's right... 00:06:39.39\00:06:40.73 And... and the confusion that must ensue 00:06:40.76\00:06:43.57 as a result of that because it's something 00:06:43.60\00:06:46.57 that... it's an intimate act... but you know it's not... 00:06:46.60\00:06:50.74 Christian: No, you know it's not right. 00:06:50.77\00:06:52.47 Yvonne: There's something wrong with it, when it's your dad... 00:06:52.51\00:06:54.01 and you don't want to get him in trouble. 00:06:54.04\00:06:55.54 Right. 00:06:55.58\00:06:56.91 Because you want to see him again 00:06:56.95\00:06:58.28 because that's your dad 00:06:58.31\00:06:59.65 so it's got to give you a lot of confusion. 00:06:59.68\00:07:01.32 Yeah, and it did... for both myself and my brother. 00:07:01.35\00:07:04.72 Hmmm... hmmm... so, what happened after... 00:07:04.75\00:07:07.42 after that happened, did you have any confusion 00:07:07.46\00:07:10.79 when you went to High School 00:07:10.83\00:07:12.16 did you have any kind of confusion... sexual confusion 00:07:12.19\00:07:16.83 when you went to High School? 00:07:16.87\00:07:18.20 Yeah, I didn't have any necessarily... 00:07:18.23\00:07:19.90 I do remember wondering why I never said anything 00:07:19.93\00:07:23.81 and then several other things began to happen 00:07:23.84\00:07:27.64 unfortunately, when my mother divorced, 00:07:27.68\00:07:29.84 when I was seven years old, she put us in daycare 00:07:29.88\00:07:33.48 and I had a babysitter's teenage son... 00:07:33.52\00:07:38.35 when it was time for naptime, 00:07:38.39\00:07:39.82 he was molesting about six of us little boys, 00:07:39.85\00:07:41.92 so this wasn't the first time it happened, 00:07:41.96\00:07:43.93 it happened at seven and then at ten... 00:07:43.96\00:07:47.03 and so, I've got these two massive secrets 00:07:47.06\00:07:49.90 and you do start to wonder, 00:07:49.93\00:07:51.87 "Maybe I didn't tell because I like boys... " 00:07:51.90\00:07:54.84 maybe... so you start wondering about this... 00:07:54.87\00:07:58.37 and indeed there wasn't anything there about that 00:07:58.41\00:08:01.21 but why didn't you say anything, why didn't you tell? 00:08:01.24\00:08:04.01 See the victimization of children 00:08:04.05\00:08:07.78 is so impactful... it's like... 00:08:07.82\00:08:11.49 the child takes it on himself, like, "What did I do?" 00:08:11.52\00:08:16.26 Like... because I've heard this story time after time, 00:08:16.29\00:08:20.96 and to me it bespeaks of the great controversy 00:08:21.00\00:08:25.83 because God... Satan is trying to destroy you. 00:08:25.87\00:08:30.64 He sees the potential that you have 00:08:30.71\00:08:33.11 and he wants to destroy you, 00:08:33.17\00:08:34.81 so he plants that seed in you through that molestation 00:08:34.84\00:08:39.78 and the confusion begins, not... 00:08:39.81\00:08:42.98 you're a victim and you don't even know 00:08:43.02\00:08:45.75 like, how does it happen to me here 00:08:45.79\00:08:48.46 and then here and then here? 00:08:48.49\00:08:50.69 So, oh... my heart just goes out to kids who are victimized 00:08:50.73\00:08:58.00 who, thank God... you grew up 00:08:58.03\00:09:01.07 and the healing power of God has taken over your life, but... 00:09:01.10\00:09:03.30 Amen... 00:09:03.34\00:09:04.67 So, so... how did you deal with that? 00:09:04.71\00:09:07.88 The molestation attempt, were you able to tell 00:09:07.91\00:09:10.88 did you... what did you do? 00:09:10.95\00:09:12.61 I didn't... we never told anybody, 00:09:12.65\00:09:13.98 both my brother and myself 00:09:14.02\00:09:15.42 and so we just kept these secrets 00:09:15.45\00:09:17.69 but you have to understand 00:09:17.72\00:09:19.05 a year after my mother divorced my biological father, 00:09:19.09\00:09:22.92 she married my step-father 00:09:22.96\00:09:24.93 who turned out to be our worst nightmare, 00:09:24.96\00:09:27.56 I mean, he was physically abusive, mentally abusive, 00:09:27.60\00:09:31.03 had emotionally... and he was just... 00:09:31.07\00:09:34.20 he was... just a very evil man, 00:09:34.24\00:09:37.91 I don't know any other way to describe it 00:09:37.94\00:09:40.31 than "he was just an evil man" 00:09:40.34\00:09:41.74 and we learned how to put on this facade 00:09:41.81\00:09:46.82 and act like everything was okay 00:09:46.85\00:09:48.72 when everything was absolutely falling apart 00:09:48.75\00:09:51.39 and a disaster in the privacy of our own home 00:09:51.42\00:09:54.02 or at my step-father's business 00:09:54.06\00:09:56.32 so, I had learned how to basically live a lie... 00:09:56.36\00:10:01.36 Hmmm... 00:10:01.40\00:10:02.73 And so, that was just one more lie 00:10:02.76\00:10:04.10 I had to live that everything was fine, 00:10:04.13\00:10:05.80 and if I told anybody then we'd be in trouble, 00:10:05.83\00:10:08.80 I'd be in trouble, my step-dad held it against us 00:10:08.84\00:10:11.24 and said that if we ever said anything to anybody 00:10:11.27\00:10:13.68 he'd kill our mother 00:10:13.71\00:10:15.04 and if my mother ever said anything, 00:10:15.08\00:10:17.38 he would kill her children and so, 00:10:17.41\00:10:19.41 we were all stuck and we were all trapped 00:10:19.45\00:10:21.42 so, you just don't tell anybody and that was part of that, 00:10:21.48\00:10:25.19 you just don't tell anybody. 00:10:25.22\00:10:26.55 And that's part of the whole survival thing, 00:10:26.59\00:10:29.79 like, "I can't survive... if I tell... " 00:10:29.82\00:10:33.09 or "my mom won't survive if I tell. " 00:10:33.13\00:10:35.86 Right... so you have to do what you have to do. 00:10:35.93\00:10:37.27 Right, right, so how did you negotiate 00:10:37.30\00:10:40.74 through all of that and what was happening to you... 00:10:40.77\00:10:44.07 spiritually... did you realize that there was a need, 00:10:44.11\00:10:47.41 did you not realize it yet? 00:10:47.44\00:10:49.31 No, when you're raised in such an oppressive environment, 00:10:49.34\00:10:53.85 it's like, "Kill or be killed" almost... 00:10:53.92\00:10:56.89 it's like... you have this survival instinct 00:10:56.92\00:10:58.52 and you learn... kind of where the parameters are, 00:10:58.55\00:11:01.62 and how to operate within that and unfortunately, 00:11:01.66\00:11:04.33 as demonic and as inappropriate and unhealthy as it was, 00:11:04.36\00:11:08.26 that's just your "normal. " 00:11:08.30\00:11:10.30 Yes, yes, that's right. 00:11:10.33\00:11:12.13 That's just what it is... you know... 00:11:12.17\00:11:14.20 I would see other people 00:11:14.24\00:11:15.94 who were being affectionate with their children 00:11:15.97\00:11:18.31 and my heart would go out and I'd think, 00:11:18.34\00:11:20.48 "Oh, I just want that too... " and then, 00:11:20.54\00:11:22.78 the next thought would come, 00:11:22.81\00:11:24.15 "I wonder if he's molesting him?" 00:11:24.18\00:11:25.51 you know, so there was this massive... 00:11:25.55\00:11:27.15 like you say, great controversy going on inside of my... 00:11:27.18\00:11:29.78 my mind and in my heart and so, 00:11:29.82\00:11:32.22 I just wanted to be a healthy, obedient son 00:11:32.25\00:11:36.06 and have a great healthy father 00:11:36.09\00:11:38.09 and that just was not what I was dealt. 00:11:38.13\00:11:39.79 Yvonne: Right... 00:11:39.83\00:11:41.16 And how do I negotiate it? 00:11:41.20\00:11:42.53 You just... you just pack it down and you pack it down... 00:11:42.56\00:11:45.53 that's not what I recommend now but that's what I was doing then 00:11:45.57\00:11:48.60 and I didn't feel like I had anybody I could go to... 00:11:48.67\00:11:52.54 that I could trust because I knew they weren't... 00:11:52.57\00:11:55.78 I didn't know these terms... they weren't "equipped," 00:11:55.84\00:11:59.08 they didn't have the tools in their toolbox to help me. 00:11:59.11\00:12:02.35 Right, right, so at school, there wasn't a Counselor? 00:12:02.38\00:12:05.45 Eventually, at... 00:12:05.49\00:12:07.56 in my Sophomore year of High School, 00:12:07.59\00:12:09.19 so, this is almost ten years now 00:12:09.22\00:12:11.33 that we lived through this tyranny 00:12:11.36\00:12:13.36 and the oppression and... 00:12:13.40\00:12:15.03 I mean... horrible physical abuse, 00:12:15.06\00:12:17.83 for my mother and for us boys, we've been beaten, 00:12:17.87\00:12:21.74 we've been whipped, we've been tied up... 00:12:21.77\00:12:24.01 my mother covered her black-and-blue bruising 00:12:24.07\00:12:26.14 with her clothing and it was just horrible 00:12:26.17\00:12:28.58 you know, so, finally, I went to a Counselor 00:12:28.61\00:12:30.95 and I started talking about my neighbor 00:12:30.98\00:12:33.92 that has these problems and how can we help him, 00:12:33.95\00:12:36.69 what would happen and... I was just sending up 00:12:36.72\00:12:38.92 like a weather balloon and just finding out... 00:12:38.95\00:12:41.09 what... the last thing I needed was, 00:12:41.12\00:12:42.99 her to call my step-dad and say, 00:12:43.02\00:12:44.83 "Hey, Christian's telling us some stories here... " 00:12:44.86\00:12:46.80 Exactly... 00:12:46.83\00:12:48.16 And then I knew we'd really be in trouble 00:12:48.20\00:12:51.23 so, basically, we came up with a plan 00:12:51.27\00:12:54.27 and I sat my parents down... 00:12:54.30\00:12:56.71 they do it a lot differently today but, you know, 00:12:56.74\00:12:58.87 30-something years... 35 years ago... 00:12:58.91\00:13:02.14 and I sat them both down and I told them, 00:13:02.18\00:13:04.48 "I've been talking to a Counselor at school 00:13:04.51\00:13:06.82 and I have a phone number 00:13:06.85\00:13:09.48 and if you touch any hair on any of our heads again... 00:13:09.52\00:13:13.62 there will be investigations 00:13:13.66\00:13:15.79 and there'll be convictions... there'll be jail time. " 00:13:15.82\00:13:18.86 Now, I didn't say it like I was so amazing and strong, 00:13:18.89\00:13:21.90 that type of thing, I mean, I was... 00:13:21.93\00:13:23.77 I was just a teenager. 00:13:23.80\00:13:25.13 Yvonne: I'd be scared to death. 00:13:25.17\00:13:26.50 I was absolutely scared... I am meeting 00:13:26.53\00:13:29.10 and I'm looking at the man that held us captive 00:13:29.17\00:13:32.14 for all those years and finally saying, 00:13:32.17\00:13:34.71 not what he wants to hear... 00:13:34.74\00:13:36.78 he lights up like a... like a missile, 00:13:36.81\00:13:38.65 he goes back to the back of the house 00:13:38.71\00:13:40.75 just yelling and screaming expletives... 00:13:40.78\00:13:42.82 that was our normal way of life... 00:13:42.85\00:13:44.22 and my mother... I'm sitting here thinking, 00:13:44.29\00:13:46.72 "I did it... I did it... " and I was like... 00:13:46.76\00:13:49.19 "Oh... " inside I'm still shaking... 00:13:49.22\00:13:51.53 I'm sick to my stomach and I look at my mom 00:13:51.56\00:13:53.93 and I'm like... I know... my mom... and... 00:13:54.00\00:13:56.20 and then... she gets up and I'm thinking, 00:13:56.23\00:13:57.93 she's going to come over and go, "Okay... " 00:13:58.00\00:14:00.70 and she goes after him... and she... I mean... 00:14:00.74\00:14:03.37 she went after him... and a couple of moments later, 00:14:03.41\00:14:06.64 she comes out and she's like, all crying and all upset... 00:14:06.68\00:14:09.64 he had just flipped her little brain again, 00:14:09.68\00:14:11.91 and she comes out and says, 00:14:11.95\00:14:14.18 "Why are you doing this to us? 00:14:14.22\00:14:16.35 I spank you too, I'll be in trouble too... " 00:14:16.38\00:14:19.52 and the reality was, my mother didn't beat us... 00:14:19.55\00:14:22.69 she didn't use torture... she... 00:14:22.72\00:14:24.99 the things he would do was... 00:14:25.03\00:14:27.26 it's things you would see in a bad movie, 00:14:27.30\00:14:30.67 you know, and... and... fortunately though 00:14:30.70\00:14:33.94 it finally started a process where she began to wake up 00:14:34.00\00:14:37.31 and she... it was at a class at her job 00:14:37.34\00:14:40.88 and at this point, she was involved in 00:14:40.91\00:14:44.41 Human Resources at her Bank 00:14:44.45\00:14:45.78 and they invited a guest speaker to come in 00:14:45.81\00:14:49.25 and they asked a question, "What's important in your life?" 00:14:49.28\00:14:53.42 Yvonne: Hmmm... 00:14:53.46\00:14:54.79 And my mom had to stop and think... 00:14:54.82\00:14:56.16 which I don't think she had done for almost ten years, 00:14:56.19\00:14:59.13 "my children... " was the one... 00:14:59.16\00:15:03.00 and then number two... "my children... " 00:15:03.03\00:15:06.20 and number three as she just broke down, 00:15:06.23\00:15:09.37 she wrote, "my children... " 00:15:09.40\00:15:11.21 and she realized we were no... 00:15:11.24\00:15:13.34 we were not in a safe place again 00:15:13.38\00:15:15.48 and she had put us there... again, 00:15:15.51\00:15:17.55 she woke up... and she went to the Police Department 00:15:17.58\00:15:22.45 and said, "I'm living with a dangerous man, 00:15:22.48\00:15:25.12 how do we get out because we have guns 00:15:25.15\00:15:28.96 and rifles and shot guns in the house... " 00:15:28.99\00:15:32.73 we were hunters... and they said, 00:15:32.76\00:15:36.26 "You need to get all the ammunition out of the guns 00:15:36.30\00:15:39.43 and when do you want to do this?" 00:15:39.47\00:15:41.24 She said, "Let's do it on Saturday... " 00:15:41.27\00:15:43.30 and she had arranged for her family 00:15:43.34\00:15:45.31 to come with moving trucks to move us out, 00:15:45.34\00:15:47.04 the police were there, and she told him... 00:15:47.08\00:15:50.15 and the police said, "You need to go... " 00:15:50.18\00:15:53.21 Yvonne: She told him while the police were still there? 00:15:53.25\00:15:55.92 Christian: Oh yeah, yeah, 00:15:55.95\00:15:57.29 we weren't going to take any chances, 00:15:57.32\00:15:59.32 he just didn't have everything together 00:15:59.35\00:16:01.56 emotionally and mentally and so, 00:16:01.62\00:16:06.06 we escaped... we were free... 00:16:06.09\00:16:10.47 Yes... yes... you know... the whole mentality 00:16:10.50\00:16:14.44 of the "battered woman" people will say, 00:16:14.47\00:16:16.77 "Why didn't she just leave, why did...?" 00:16:16.81\00:16:19.07 it's not that simple. 00:16:19.11\00:16:21.04 Christian: It's not that simple. 00:16:21.08\00:16:22.41 Yvonne: It's so complicated. 00:16:22.44\00:16:23.78 Christian: Because I asked my mom that for years, 00:16:23.81\00:16:25.45 "Why did you stay so long, 00:16:25.48\00:16:27.42 didn't you see what we were going through?" 00:16:27.45\00:16:29.48 And she knew it... and many times she would step in 00:16:29.52\00:16:32.39 and take the brunt... when we were younger 00:16:32.42\00:16:34.89 but as we got older... it landed all on us 00:16:34.92\00:16:37.36 and so she... she... 00:16:37.39\00:16:40.40 I have a DVD Series that we did on the whole story, 00:16:40.43\00:16:44.13 a three-hour documentary on this story 00:16:44.17\00:16:46.67 and I interviewed my mother and I said, 00:16:46.70\00:16:49.14 "Why did you stay so long?" 00:16:49.17\00:16:50.67 I asked her the question again, and she... you see her eyes... 00:16:50.71\00:16:53.78 she was like... "I thought I was going to die" 00:16:53.81\00:16:55.91 and you can just see it in her eyes... 00:16:55.94\00:16:58.21 that is what she believed to her core 00:16:58.25\00:17:00.45 and she was protecting us... 00:17:00.52\00:17:02.18 this is... a strange way of thinking... 00:17:02.22\00:17:04.35 she was protecting us by staying... 00:17:04.42\00:17:06.82 because she was afraid of our lives 00:17:06.86\00:17:09.22 being in danger as well 00:17:09.29\00:17:10.63 and he had said that that would happen. 00:17:10.66\00:17:12.03 Yes, I... it's to me... 00:17:12.06\00:17:15.10 when you're involved in that whole chaotic thing... 00:17:15.13\00:17:18.67 you can't... sometimes you can't think clearly... 00:17:18.70\00:17:22.17 and praise God that... that Speaker came to the job that day 00:17:22.20\00:17:26.91 Christian: Absolutely. 00:17:26.94\00:17:28.28 And something triggered in her brain and she realized 00:17:28.31\00:17:31.58 she had put her children in jeopardy... 00:17:31.61\00:17:33.98 well, what an amazing story and how can people get that... 00:17:34.02\00:17:37.42 how can people... because this documentary sounds amazing. 00:17:37.45\00:17:40.66 It is truly amazing... 00:17:40.69\00:17:42.26 I believe God really put His fingerprint on it 00:17:42.29\00:17:45.43 and we go over the story but not only that... 00:17:45.46\00:17:48.53 but learning points... 00:17:48.56\00:17:49.90 what should children do if they have been touched 00:17:49.93\00:17:52.70 and those things are happening 00:17:52.73\00:17:54.64 because I don't want to just talk about my story 00:17:54.70\00:17:56.04 if we don't give them some tools 00:17:56.07\00:17:57.41 so, it's entitled, "Broken to Breakthrough" 00:17:57.44\00:17:59.77 and it's a journey of faith, hope and forgiveness. 00:17:59.81\00:18:04.01 Yvonne: Hmmm... 00:18:04.05\00:18:05.38 And it's available at our website: shepherdscall. com 00:18:05.41\00:18:09.92 and our goal, frankly, is to... to use this 00:18:09.95\00:18:14.29 and have people use this in their churches... 00:18:14.32\00:18:19.19 in Christian Schools... to where they can create 00:18:19.23\00:18:24.07 an environment of safety and trust 00:18:24.10\00:18:26.43 that perhaps a young person could say, 00:18:26.47\00:18:28.74 "Perhaps I really need to talk to somebody. " 00:18:28.77\00:18:31.27 Oh, that's so good because people need to know 00:18:31.31\00:18:33.78 that there is a way out. 00:18:33.81\00:18:35.84 And there is... amen... there is... 00:18:35.91\00:18:38.45 There is a way out, how did you find the Lord? 00:18:38.48\00:18:41.05 That's an amazing story, it really is, 00:18:41.08\00:18:43.79 it started out with my... 00:18:43.82\00:18:48.32 actually I would like to say this first, if you don't mind. 00:18:48.36\00:18:49.69 Yvonne: Yeah... yeah. 00:18:49.72\00:18:51.06 Christian: My brothers went from 00:18:51.09\00:18:52.96 us escaping... and following in my father's footsteps, 00:18:52.99\00:18:57.93 they got involved in drugs and alcohol, 00:18:57.97\00:19:00.24 drug manufacturing, jail, prison... you name it... 00:19:00.27\00:19:03.54 and I went a different way, I just... I decided... 00:19:03.57\00:19:06.44 I made a choice and there's a lot of power in a choice 00:19:06.47\00:19:09.81 and I made this choice to put the past behind me... 00:19:09.84\00:19:13.18 I didn't do it healthfully in the sense of... 00:19:13.21\00:19:14.82 I learned how to deal with this and how to give it to God 00:19:14.85\00:19:17.55 and let God start to fix my heart and my life 00:19:17.59\00:19:20.22 but I got involved in Theatre 00:19:20.26\00:19:22.92 and I got involved in singing, dancing and acting, 00:19:22.96\00:19:26.19 and that was my way of escape... 00:19:26.23\00:19:28.66 my brothers' way of escape 00:19:28.70\00:19:30.03 was through the drugs and alcohol. 00:19:30.07\00:19:31.40 Fast forward a long time... 00:19:31.43\00:19:33.60 I'm in TV Production 00:19:33.64\00:19:37.44 and I had started Companies with some friends 00:19:37.47\00:19:41.21 and we were wildly successful and then one of my Partners 00:19:41.24\00:19:44.78 had just destroyed the Companies financially, 00:19:44.81\00:19:47.32 embezzling from the Company and I lost everything 00:19:47.35\00:19:49.78 so I got my foot back into TV Production 00:19:49.82\00:19:52.55 and I let every Producer I knew out there, 00:19:52.59\00:19:55.12 "I'm going to work as a freelance Director... 00:19:55.16\00:19:57.66 I'm good to go... " 00:19:57.69\00:19:59.66 I had already done professional sports, Nickelodeon, PBS, ESPN, 00:19:59.69\00:20:02.96 so, I was ready to go... I... 00:20:03.00\00:20:04.63 Yvonne: Right, you had a résumé. 00:20:04.67\00:20:06.27 Yeah, and I'm comfortable at the Switcher frankly, 00:20:06.30\00:20:08.47 I'm much more comfortable back there than up here 00:20:08.50\00:20:10.67 and so, I was hired by a Producer 00:20:10.71\00:20:14.28 to go and shoot a Camping Meeting... 00:20:14.31\00:20:17.81 and so, I said, "Okay, great, what's it about?" 00:20:17.85\00:20:20.68 he goes, "I don't know Camping... " 00:20:20.72\00:20:22.05 so, I went to Lodi Grape Festival Grounds 00:20:22.08\00:20:25.62 there in California looking for a man named Danny Vierra... 00:20:25.65\00:20:29.09 who is a health teacher in the Seventh-day Adventist Church, 00:20:29.12\00:20:32.56 I didn't know all this... but little did I know 00:20:32.59\00:20:35.66 that I was going to be shooting four days of religious material 00:20:35.70\00:20:38.73 and I was just hating my life, I thought, 00:20:38.77\00:20:41.90 "How much lower can my Production career get?" 00:20:41.94\00:20:44.77 I mean seriously... I was... I was like, 00:20:44.81\00:20:48.38 "Whatever... I guess my whole life is ending now... " 00:20:48.41\00:20:51.55 but the reality is... as I was sitting there 00:20:51.58\00:20:55.28 learning more and more, I was realizing... 00:20:55.32\00:20:58.92 at first I'm switching... "okay, ready one... take one... 00:20:58.95\00:21:01.66 one... you're live... two... go... " 00:21:01.72\00:21:03.12 but you know... I'm doing all the stuff that I would do 00:21:03.16\00:21:05.79 and then I'm starting to get drawn in as I'm listening 00:21:05.83\00:21:08.40 and I'm like, "Wow! I never knew that... 00:21:08.43\00:21:11.03 now, I never knew that... " 00:21:11.07\00:21:12.73 and so, that was the beginning 00:21:12.77\00:21:14.40 but it would be a process of a number of years, 00:21:14.44\00:21:19.57 Danny befriended me and my fiancé and myself... 00:21:19.61\00:21:24.78 we had moved away... I was going to go to Film School 00:21:24.81\00:21:27.02 to become a Hollywood Film Director, 00:21:27.05\00:21:28.48 is really what I wanted to do and I got her pregnant, 00:21:28.52\00:21:32.45 kind of following in the tracks of my parents, 00:21:32.49\00:21:35.39 I was much older but nonetheless I was not prepared and ready 00:21:35.42\00:21:39.16 long story short... we lose the baby at 4 and 1/2 months, 00:21:39.19\00:21:42.80 it's a trying time, 00:21:42.83\00:21:44.30 life's spiraling out of control 00:21:44.33\00:21:47.54 we moved to Arizona to be where her parents were, 00:21:47.60\00:21:49.90 I couldn't find a job in Production 00:21:49.94\00:21:51.47 which had never happened before, 00:21:51.51\00:21:52.94 but God said, "Okay Angels... watch this... " 00:21:52.97\00:21:55.98 Yvonne: Yes, yes, yes, come on... come on... 00:21:56.01\00:21:58.11 Christian: Yes, amen, So all of a sudden, 00:21:58.15\00:22:00.15 I'm sitting here and I have this overwhelming desire 00:22:00.22\00:22:03.18 to go see my friend, Danny, 00:22:03.22\00:22:04.55 well, my whole life is falling apart 00:22:04.59\00:22:06.05 and as I'm sitting there telling him what's going on, 00:22:06.09\00:22:08.49 he's like... "This is great... " 00:22:08.52\00:22:09.86 and I was like, "This is not great, 00:22:09.89\00:22:12.06 I'm no longer intimate with my girlfriend... " 00:22:12.09\00:22:13.70 because God had impressed me not to be... 00:22:13.73\00:22:16.67 I was already a healthy guy because I was... 00:22:16.73\00:22:20.10 I embraced his health laws that he taught, 00:22:20.14\00:22:23.17 because I was a pretty sick guy and so, 00:22:23.20\00:22:26.17 it was a lot of things, I can't say, "It happened here" 00:22:26.21\00:22:29.74 it took me like... three solid years to finally go, 00:22:29.78\00:22:33.25 "I give up Uncle... " 00:22:33.28\00:22:35.48 Yvonne: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's interesting to me that 00:22:35.52\00:22:39.52 you had begun this journey like, 00:22:39.55\00:22:43.22 people in the world are not thinking about abstinence, 00:22:43.26\00:22:47.06 Christian: No... not at all. 00:22:47.10\00:22:48.43 Yvonne: They're not... some are thinking about... 00:22:48.46\00:22:50.37 Christian: And that was nowhere in my mind either. 00:22:50.40\00:22:52.67 Yvonne: Yeah, but the fact that the Lord impressed you 00:22:52.70\00:22:54.90 with that... even when you were out there... that's amazing. 00:22:54.94\00:22:59.17 Christian: That is amazing... yeah. 00:22:59.21\00:23:00.54 Yvonne: And then... He had brought you to Danny... 00:23:00.58\00:23:03.08 Danny Vierra and of course, Danny is saying, "This is great" 00:23:03.11\00:23:06.85 you're like, "What? Like, how could this be great?" 00:23:06.88\00:23:09.88 Because he saw what God was doing in your life. 00:23:09.92\00:23:12.49 Christian: He saw it because spiritual things 00:23:12.52\00:23:14.19 are spiritually discerned. Yvonne: Yes. 00:23:14.22\00:23:15.62 Christian: And so I went on this journey with Danny 00:23:15.66\00:23:17.99 and we started studying and before you know it, 00:23:18.03\00:23:19.89 I said to him, "Is everything you believe 00:23:19.93\00:23:22.76 that clear in the Bible?" 00:23:22.83\00:23:24.17 When we studied about the Sabbath truth. 00:23:24.20\00:23:25.63 And he was like, "Everything... " 00:23:25.67\00:23:27.60 and I went, "I'll probably become 00:23:27.64\00:23:30.01 a Seventh-day Adventist, huh... " 00:23:30.04\00:23:32.47 he goes, "You will... " seriously... 00:23:32.51\00:23:34.91 and here's what I discovered was... if you study the Bible 00:23:34.94\00:23:38.05 and the Bible alone... let the Bible interpret itself 00:23:38.08\00:23:40.08 and you start to see prophecy and you can tell that God knew 00:23:40.12\00:23:43.82 the end from the beginning 00:23:43.85\00:23:45.19 and He tells you all these things that are going to happen, 00:23:45.22\00:23:47.36 I didn't even know that there was such a thing 00:23:47.39\00:23:48.72 as prophecy in the Bible, 00:23:48.76\00:23:50.09 and I'm sitting here... learning... 00:23:50.13\00:23:51.46 and if you let the Bible interpret itself... 00:23:51.49\00:23:52.83 not tradition, not what you think, 00:23:52.86\00:23:54.30 not your preconceived ideas 00:23:54.33\00:23:55.66 but let the Bible be your teacher, 00:23:55.70\00:23:57.53 with the Holy Spirit teaching you, 00:23:57.57\00:23:59.47 I think the most logical thing to become 00:23:59.50\00:24:01.50 is Seventh-day Adventist... I honestly... I do. 00:24:01.54\00:24:03.71 Yvonne: Well, I agree. 00:24:03.74\00:24:05.07 Christian: Yeah, at least if you're an honest skeptic. 00:24:05.11\00:24:07.14 Yvonne: And if it weren't... what are we doing here? 00:24:07.18\00:24:09.54 Christian: Yeah, what's this all about? 00:24:09.58\00:24:11.58 Right, right, yeah, so, how old were you 00:24:11.61\00:24:13.58 when you decided to surrender your life to Christ? 00:24:13.62\00:24:16.69 Yeah, I finally surrendered when I was about 26 years old. 00:24:16.72\00:24:18.79 Yvonne: Okay... 00:24:18.82\00:24:20.16 And I went on that studying quest, 00:24:20.19\00:24:21.52 I couldn't get enough, before you know it, 00:24:21.56\00:24:23.63 I'm asking Danny, "I want to give my heart to Jesus Christ" 00:24:23.66\00:24:26.29 and here's the key for me, 00:24:26.33\00:24:27.76 when my picture got big enough of Jesus Christ, 00:24:27.80\00:24:33.03 when I really saw who He was and what He wanted for me 00:24:33.07\00:24:36.24 and God the Father... 00:24:36.27\00:24:38.37 you see, I never trusted a father before. 00:24:38.41\00:24:41.14 Hmmm... 00:24:41.18\00:24:42.51 I never trusted a father before... 00:24:42.54\00:24:44.35 and now I have God the Father and... and I... 00:24:44.38\00:24:47.52 my picture of Him is big enough to where I saw 00:24:47.55\00:24:50.62 He could help me with my big problems. 00:24:50.65\00:24:53.02 Hmmm... 00:24:53.05\00:24:54.39 And He began to help me and I began to break, 00:24:54.42\00:24:58.06 and I began to weep like I had never wept before 00:24:58.09\00:25:01.70 and it's like this... it was like this purging 00:25:01.73\00:25:05.30 that began to happen in me 00:25:05.33\00:25:06.67 and then God gave me these gifts eventually, over the years, 00:25:06.70\00:25:09.50 it didn't happen quickly but where I started to see my... 00:25:09.54\00:25:12.51 my parents through God's eyes, 00:25:12.54\00:25:14.54 as sinners and as His children 00:25:14.58\00:25:16.54 who had been not treated with and dealt with properly 00:25:16.58\00:25:18.65 when they were young 00:25:18.68\00:25:20.02 and all these things and God gave me this new perspective 00:25:20.05\00:25:23.15 where I could say, "Wow! I hate what happened to me 00:25:23.18\00:25:27.72 it doesn't excuse it but it explained why things happened" 00:25:27.76\00:25:31.49 and eventually what began to well up in my heart was 00:25:31.53\00:25:34.86 this amazing thing called forgiveness. 00:25:34.90\00:25:37.60 I was going to ask you that. 00:25:37.63\00:25:39.17 And even empathy... 00:25:39.20\00:25:40.54 You were able to forgive your dad and your step-father. 00:25:40.57\00:25:43.34 Yeah, absolutely, the hardest things for me 00:25:43.37\00:25:45.21 were to forgive my mother and my biological father, 00:25:45.24\00:25:48.61 it was even easier to forgive my step-dad 00:25:48.64\00:25:50.58 on all the evil things that he did... than those two 00:25:50.61\00:25:52.91 because my mother kept us there and every time she'd apologize, 00:25:52.95\00:25:57.32 I'm like, "Okay, how many times do you have to apologize, 00:25:57.35\00:26:00.32 five, ten, twenty and then finally... you believe it?" 00:26:00.36\00:26:03.26 What I didn't realize was 00:26:03.29\00:26:04.99 the apology doesn't fix anything in the past, 00:26:05.03\00:26:07.20 it creates an opportunity 00:26:07.23\00:26:09.56 to perhaps go forward in the future. 00:26:09.60\00:26:11.37 Hmmm... 00:26:11.40\00:26:12.73 And my mom had repented and said she was sorry 00:26:12.77\00:26:15.40 and so we built this beautiful relationship, 00:26:15.44\00:26:17.94 she is a Christian... she now ministers to... 00:26:17.97\00:26:20.98 to ladies that are abused with their children. 00:26:21.04\00:26:23.45 Hmmm... 00:26:23.48\00:26:24.85 My brothers got clean and they've been clean... 00:26:24.88\00:26:27.92 my youngest brother for eight years, 00:26:27.98\00:26:29.82 my brother... my middle brother that was abused with me, 00:26:29.85\00:26:34.09 he's been clean five years, 00:26:34.12\00:26:36.12 they both have ministries of their own now. 00:26:36.16\00:26:37.79 Oh... praise God. 00:26:37.83\00:26:39.73 And so, God gave us all forgiveness in our hearts 00:26:39.76\00:26:42.16 and it's something that only comes from heaven 00:26:42.20\00:26:44.70 because I can literally, honestly say today, 00:26:44.73\00:26:47.14 "If my evil step-father were to be in heaven as my neighbor, 00:26:47.17\00:26:53.78 I'd be okay with that. " 00:26:53.81\00:26:55.14 And my biological father found Christ... 00:26:55.18\00:26:57.28 in fact, through a 3ABN Program and I wish I could tell you that 00:26:57.35\00:27:01.48 but we're running out of time. 00:27:01.52\00:27:02.85 I can't believe this! 00:27:02.88\00:27:04.32 It's amazing... it's absolutely amazing... 00:27:04.35\00:27:05.69 and he's now a Christian and our relationship has been healed 00:27:05.72\00:27:10.16 so everybody in my family are now Christians, 00:27:10.19\00:27:12.63 we're all healed, and there is hope, 00:27:12.69\00:27:14.96 no question, there's hope. 00:27:15.03\00:27:16.36 Praise God, what a beautiful ending, even though, 00:27:16.40\00:27:20.10 your life is still evolving, so to speak, 00:27:20.14\00:27:23.34 but what a beautiful ending to such a tragic beginning! 00:27:23.37\00:27:27.18 Yeah, and you know what? I wouldn't change it 00:27:27.21\00:27:29.84 because it gave me some tools that I have 00:27:29.91\00:27:32.51 resilience... and in God's work you need to have that, 00:27:32.55\00:27:34.65 and just stick-to-itivness... and all those types of things. 00:27:34.68\00:27:36.79 Yes... 00:27:36.82\00:27:38.15 And so, I change it 00:27:38.19\00:27:39.52 but I wouldn't wish it on anybody either. 00:27:39.55\00:27:40.96 Exactly, exactly, I know... I know what you're saying 00:27:40.99\00:27:43.46 you... you... yeah... it's been a journey 00:27:43.49\00:27:46.03 but you're thankful that God brought you through 00:27:46.06\00:27:49.33 and we're thankful for you. 00:27:49.36\00:27:51.00 Thank you so much for being with us. 00:27:51.03\00:27:53.10 Well, we've reached the end of another Program, 00:27:53.13\00:27:55.90 join us next time because you know what? 00:27:55.94\00:27:57.87 It just wouldn't be the same... without you. 00:27:57.91\00:27:59.81