Wouldn't it be great to
have some bite-sized portions
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of love prescriptions?
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Well, stay
tuned to meet a couple
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that has the answers you need
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to make your
relationship special.
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My name is Yvonne Lewis
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and you're
watching Urban Report.
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Hello and
welcome to Urban Report.
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My guests today are
Claude and Jocelyn Thomas
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Authors and Family Counselors
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and in the
interest of full disclosure,
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my aunt and uncle.
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Welcome to Urban Report, yeah...
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Thank you
Yvonne. Glad to be here.
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Good to see you darling.
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You guys are here...
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my whole life... ever since...
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well I've know Uncle Jackie
longer than I've known Aunt Jo
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but you guys have
been such an example to me
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of what a real, Godly
marriage should look like,
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I mean... and
everybody who knows you
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like... when you
think about great marriages,
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you guys...
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you guys really
do praise the Lord.
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Amen, amen... Praise the Lord.
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An epitome of a great marriage
and that has turned into...
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your marriage and your
knowledge about relationships
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has turned into a ministry...
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tell us about that
journey how did that happen?
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Well it happened
when I went to Andrews
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to work on my
Master's and Doctoral studies,
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and I just found that
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the thing that I
had been studying
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during the '70s...
study really began seriously
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on marriage and
family relationships
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and I picked up
on that at Andrews,
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I took courses in Family
Life, Marriage and Family life,
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well, I was studying
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Educational Psychology and
Counseling and what have you...
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and that just became my groove.
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Okay, all right...
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And I began to
look at it seriously
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especially when I discovered
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that the
conclusions that I was reading
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in the studies
that were going on
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really fit well
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with what I was
reading in the Bible
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about love, you know...
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and when I read in Ellen White
that love is not a feeling,
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it's a
principle, a way of behaving
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that one has to come
to learn and practice
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to understand how to really
relate to the opposite sex
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and that intrigued me
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and one of my professors that
was on the verge of retiring
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had a group
that he was mentoring
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Jo and I joined the group
and listened to his Seminars
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and we discussed what
was going on in the Bible
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and so forth... and that
got more and more intriguing
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and I said to Jo,
"We'd like to do that"
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We like to do
that... you know... and...
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Doing the Seminars...
conducting the Seminars.
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Oh, okay, okay, and
so you brought Aunt Jo
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into the mix and
got her involved...
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Into the mix... right...
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It was awkward at first
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because he is the
professor... and the teacher...
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it was a little awkward at first
as we stand before the group
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but I had my good
practice with my family at home
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so, after a while it
became natural for me
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standing up and
talking and sharing about it.
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We really got good at that...
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that sharing... really...
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incidences that
occurred within our family
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to help people to
know that they're normal
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and we're normal, it's a
work in progress, I guess
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a work in progress... family...
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What a great thing to do because
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so many times people wonder,
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"Is my situation the
only one of its kind,
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am I unique, are we unique,
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are we kind of sick,"
sometimes it's kind of sick,
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but then, with you
guys, you were able to say,
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"This is what goes on...
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some of these things
go on in a normal family"
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and so you were able
to help people to know
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that they're okay.
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Well, the big thing about it was
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that the problems that
you have... can be fixed.
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All right, all right.
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And of course,
people enjoy that, you know,
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I said, "But you
got to work at it"
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they have to work hard at it,
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which is where this idea of
being a professional lover came.
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Come on now, I love that
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now... is that the name...
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you are writing a
devotional book, correct?
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Right, right.
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What's the title?
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Becoming a professional lover.
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Becoming a professional lover...
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now you know...
that's kind of...
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I like that... I
like that, it sounds very,
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what's the word? Assured...
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Yvonne, Yvonne, let me
share something with you
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one of my tools that I use
when I'm reading and studying
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is the dictionary... Okay...
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and I actually looked
up what a "profession" is
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before we get to "professional"
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"a profession is a calling
requiring specialized knowledge
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and often requiring specialized
academic preparation"
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keep in mind now, we're
talking about the family
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so when Claude says that
he is a "professional lover"
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"a professional is
one that engages in
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activity professionally"
so now, husband and wife,
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marriage and
family, it's a profession.
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It's something that
you need to go to school,
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learn... not
necessarily a school building
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but you're
learning from God's Word,
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who is the
pattern of family life,
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He created it, so that,
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if I want to be a
"professional lover"
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like the profession,
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like the
professor... who is God...
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then I must study His Word
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and He has given us the pattern,
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as to how to be like Him,
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I love that...
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so it really
becomes... it's beautiful,
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it's a beautiful thing,
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and you're not
out there by yourself,
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or by yourselves.
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So there are...
then these principles
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for family life
that can be pulled
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or extrapolated from the Word,
from the Spirit of Prophecy
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and applied to make
a family successful.
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Yes. Exactly.
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And you guys have been
married for how many years?
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Fifty years...
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He'd like to say 51 now
because we are in our 51st year.
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So what would you say to someone
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who has either been
married several times
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or has not been
successful in one marriage,
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what would you say
to them about how...
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what is it that
keeps you guys together,
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what makes a
marriage successful?
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When basic needs are met,
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when I said that
marriage is not a feeling
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love is not a
feeling, it's a way of behaving
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and the operational
definition of that for me
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came from the story
of the Good Samaritan
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and knowing that
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there was not a
whole lot of good feeling
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between them the
Good Samaritan came along
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and saw this
wounded man by the road
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and was prompted to
go over and help him out,
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stayed with him, fixed him up,
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when that didn't work
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during this little
time they had together
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took him to an Inn,
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stayed with him
overnight kept working with him
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and when he found
that he needed more help,
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then he went and
said to the Innkeeper,
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"I want you to just
keep working with him
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until he is fully healed
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and when I come
back from my journey,
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I'll pay you
whatever it costs to do it"
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so out of that,
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I learned that
from God's perspective
00:09:04.57\00:09:08.21
an operation or
definition of love
00:09:08.24\00:09:11.81
would be using my
time, energy and resources
00:09:11.85\00:09:15.58
to satisfy the legitimate
needs of another human being
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and minister to their happiness
and personal well-being.
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I love that...
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And then I discovered,
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reading through 1 Corinthians 13
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that love... not
only has meaning,
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it has structure,
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and all those
principles that are listed there
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in 1st Corinthians 13,
was a part of that structure.
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Unpack that for us
a little bit for us.
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Well, you know, it
starts off by saying
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that if you just say
the words, talk love...
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you're like a sounding
gong in a tinkling cymbal.
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Nothing's really going on.
00:10:02.93\00:10:05.97
I don't feel loved,
you're saying nice things
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but I know the real deal.
00:10:09.40\00:10:11.41
But if you deal with the
principles related to that
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that they list in
1st Corinthians 13,
00:10:17.35\00:10:20.38
then, you're not
just talking about it,
00:10:20.42\00:10:24.79
you're actually dealing
with those necessary elements
00:10:24.82\00:10:29.76
that make love... love...
00:10:29.79\00:10:32.26
Hmmm... hmm... hmmm...
00:10:32.29\00:10:34.46
And then of course, when
it comes to relationships,
00:10:34.50\00:10:39.27
you know, the chapter ends
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by saying there are
three primary principles
00:10:41.37\00:10:45.57
faith, hope and love,
but the greatest of these
00:10:45.61\00:10:49.78
is love. Hmmm... hmmm...
00:10:49.81\00:10:52.71
And of course, when
you think about God...
00:10:52.75\00:10:54.45
that's how He defines Himself,
00:10:54.48\00:10:57.65
in 1st John it
says, "God is love. "
00:10:57.72\00:11:02.16
Hmmm... hmmm...
00:11:02.19\00:11:03.63
And those that love,
the way God says to love,
00:11:03.66\00:11:09.30
right... can meet those needs
00:11:09.33\00:11:17.94
and produce happiness and
joy in their relationships.
00:11:17.97\00:11:22.94
So how does that play out
in... in your relationship,
00:11:22.98\00:11:27.92
how do you
apply those principles
00:11:27.95\00:11:31.05
to your relationship?
00:11:31.09\00:11:32.49
That's what I wanted
to share and that is that
00:11:32.52\00:11:36.36
my goal... before I
even met "a husband,"
00:11:36.39\00:11:40.76
anybody... my
goal was to satisfy...
00:11:40.80\00:11:44.97
to love someone so well
the way God said to love them
00:11:45.03\00:11:49.10
that nobody else would want them
00:11:49.14\00:11:51.07
they would just be that spoiled,
they'd be totally mine...
00:11:51.11\00:11:53.94
And I am spoiled indeed...
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I know you are... so precious...
00:11:57.28\00:11:59.58
and I made it a
study, I really did,
00:11:59.61\00:12:04.35
it's... professionally I went
to school to become a nurse,
00:12:04.39\00:12:09.29
which I did become,
but I had to go to school,
00:12:09.36\00:12:12.26
I had to practice,
I had to take tests,
00:12:12.29\00:12:14.60
it was a profession that I was
seeking to become involved with,
00:12:14.63\00:12:18.77
and to do that for a husband,
00:12:18.80\00:12:22.20
for a man that I chose to love,
00:12:22.24\00:12:26.44
I put forth all
that same effort,
00:12:26.47\00:12:29.21
that was just my personal goal.
00:12:29.24\00:12:31.51
I think that's so beautiful,
00:12:31.55\00:12:33.78
I wish more women
and men would do that.
00:12:33.82\00:12:36.35
I think today, we think of...
00:12:36.38\00:12:38.25
we don't think about
marriage as something
00:12:38.29\00:12:40.26
that you have to
study or prepare for.
00:12:40.32\00:12:42.26
You grow up, you get married,
00:12:42.29\00:12:45.53
you go to
school, you get married,
00:12:45.56\00:12:47.13
you have children, you get old,
00:12:47.20\00:12:48.50
it starts all over again...
00:12:48.53\00:12:49.90
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
00:12:49.93\00:12:51.53
But it is something
that calls for effort,
00:12:51.57\00:12:55.37
for studying, for understanding,
00:12:55.40\00:12:57.57
and, of course, if you
want to learn the right way,
00:12:57.64\00:13:00.88
go to the source...
I can't say that enough
00:13:00.91\00:13:03.95
and we want to help people
00:13:03.98\00:13:07.02
to achieve the
happiness that we have achieved.
00:13:07.05\00:13:09.75
It's so evident,
when people know you
00:13:09.78\00:13:14.16
and they meet you
00:13:14.19\00:13:15.52
that you have a
special relationship,
00:13:15.56\00:13:17.83
you still hold hands,
00:13:17.86\00:13:19.23
you're still very
loving toward each other,
00:13:19.26\00:13:21.83
and affectionate
toward each other,
00:13:21.86\00:13:23.43
and it's just... to me...
00:13:23.47\00:13:25.50
it's such a
beautiful thing to see
00:13:25.57\00:13:27.40
because it's so rare,
it's just such a rarity,
00:13:27.44\00:13:30.81
let's go back for a second
and talk a little bit about
00:13:30.87\00:13:33.84
how you two met, because,
00:13:33.94\00:13:36.01
the whole thing was
just so God-ordained...
00:13:36.04\00:13:39.45
It was God ordained...
00:13:39.48\00:13:41.42
tell me how you met,
let's hear a little bit of
00:13:41.45\00:13:43.65
each of your
perceptions of each other.
00:13:43.69\00:13:45.62
Well, I could
begin with saying that
00:13:45.65\00:13:47.69
when I was 14 years old, I
was visiting an aunt and uncle
00:13:47.72\00:13:51.59
for the summer, and as
my habit, at nighttime,
00:13:51.63\00:13:54.86
I was kneeling
by my bed to pray...
00:13:54.93\00:13:57.87
and my uncle came
in, he was a big teaser,
00:13:57.90\00:14:00.44
he said, "Jo, are you
praying for a husband?"
00:14:00.47\00:14:03.44
I said, "Uncle George,
I'm only 14 years old,"
00:14:03.51\00:14:06.44
he said, "no...
" he got serious,
00:14:06.47\00:14:08.24
he said, "Begin
now to ask the Lord,
00:14:08.28\00:14:10.05
should you get a husband,
for Him to choose your husband"
00:14:10.08\00:14:13.15
and that stayed with me,
so all through high school,
00:14:13.18\00:14:16.79
college and et
cetera, I enjoyed myself
00:14:16.89\00:14:19.92
dating and whatever because
00:14:19.95\00:14:21.69
when I would get ready to marry,
00:14:21.72\00:14:23.76
should there be
marriage in my future,
00:14:23.83\00:14:26.26
that God would do the choosing,
00:14:26.29\00:14:27.93
and I already
told... I always told God
00:14:27.96\00:14:29.43
that He would be
the one to choose,
00:14:29.50\00:14:31.87
so that's...
that's how I met this man.
00:14:31.90\00:14:34.27
I was the Youth Leader...
00:14:34.30\00:14:38.67
Let me tell the
story from there.
00:14:38.71\00:14:42.01
I was at a
critical point in my life,
00:14:42.04\00:14:45.25
I had lost a
wife, had three children
00:14:45.31\00:14:48.45
and there was a
grieving for about six months
00:14:48.48\00:14:55.16
and my aunt and uncle who
were very avid youth leaders
00:14:55.19\00:15:02.20
in the church...
there was a Youth Convention
00:15:02.23\00:15:07.24
going on in Atlantic City
00:15:07.27\00:15:08.77
and they asked me to
drive them to this convention,
00:15:08.80\00:15:14.28
of course, reluctantly,
00:15:14.31\00:15:15.64
I didn't really
want to go because
00:15:15.68\00:15:17.35
I would meet folks that
I knew and they'd be asking
00:15:17.38\00:15:21.08
how I'm doing since the
loss of my wife and everything
00:15:21.12\00:15:24.82
but I agreed finally to go,
00:15:24.85\00:15:27.89
I was sitting
at the last Sabbath
00:15:27.92\00:15:31.43
of that Conference and
a young man was preaching
00:15:31.46\00:15:37.13
talking about his
conversion, his redevelopment
00:15:37.17\00:15:41.94
and what have you, and
I heard a voice in my mind
00:15:42.00\00:15:46.84
that said,
"Claude, are you ready
00:15:46.88\00:15:51.85
to give your life to me fully
00:15:51.88\00:15:55.78
so that I can help
you continue to develop
00:15:55.82\00:15:59.95
and become the
man I want you to be?"
00:16:00.09\00:16:04.39
And with tears
streaming down my face
00:16:04.43\00:16:08.66
I said, "Yes, Lord,
I'm ready, I'm ready...
00:16:08.70\00:16:14.97
you saved my wife,
now save me, save me"
00:16:15.04\00:16:21.24
and from there...
after the sermon was over
00:16:21.28\00:16:26.95
and we were sitting around,
00:16:27.02\00:16:28.65
an aunt in the
family came rushing up to me
00:16:28.68\00:16:33.59
and grabbed me
by my hand and said,
00:16:33.66\00:16:37.13
"I want you to meet Jo. "
00:16:37.16\00:16:38.49
Meanwhile, before I got to
him, knowing that another aunt
00:16:38.53\00:16:44.50
see... these older aunts,
00:16:44.53\00:16:46.13
they're working
on things for him,
00:16:46.17\00:16:48.24
his family is involved...
00:16:48.27\00:16:49.97
but this aunt
grabbed me and she said,
00:16:50.01\00:16:52.37
"I want you to meet
Jackie, have you met Jackie?
00:16:52.41\00:16:54.48
That's his nickname. Yeah, yes.
00:16:54.51\00:16:55.84
And I said, "No"
and I was shy about it
00:16:55.88\00:16:59.55
and I must say that I
had gone to this Conference
00:16:59.58\00:17:03.05
looking good
because I'm on the hunt.
00:17:03.08\00:17:06.59
At 26... you look ready...
00:17:06.62\00:17:10.89
So if you go shopping,
look nice, play the role,
00:17:10.96\00:17:14.66
so, as I was
approaching him though, Yvonne,
00:17:14.73\00:17:18.07
the thing that really sticks
out in my mind is that I heard,
00:17:18.10\00:17:21.34
"Jo, this is the man
that you're going to marry"
00:17:21.37\00:17:25.41
and no one's
around, no one heard that,
00:17:25.44\00:17:28.24
but I knew, God was telling me,
00:17:28.28\00:17:30.35
"Jo, this is the man
that you're going to marry"
00:17:30.38\00:17:33.21
That was the answer to
the 14-year-old prayer.
00:17:33.25\00:17:36.25
Yes, yes, yes.
00:17:36.32\00:17:37.65
So when I got to
him, I didn't know him,
00:17:37.69\00:17:39.75
I'd never met him,
I'd heard about him
00:17:39.79\00:17:42.06
in the loss of his wife and
I felt very sorry about that
00:17:42.09\00:17:45.46
and I was so sad
when I heard about it
00:17:45.49\00:17:49.00
but when I got
to him, he stood up,
00:17:49.03\00:17:52.57
just very debonair,
00:17:52.60\00:17:55.44
and I don't know
what his voice was before,
00:17:55.50\00:17:59.34
but his voice was very deep.
00:17:59.37\00:18:00.84
He probably took it
down a couple of octaves.
00:18:00.91\00:18:04.28
He said, "Well,
hello... " I was so impressed.
00:18:04.31\00:18:07.68
Oh, that's so good.
00:18:07.72\00:18:10.32
And then when I
got to him, Yvonne,
00:18:10.42\00:18:11.92
he was sitting
next to a young lady,
00:18:11.95\00:18:13.49
because he was a good
catch at this point in life,
00:18:13.52\00:18:17.56
and his aunt just
grabbed her and took her away
00:18:17.59\00:18:21.50
and he offered me a seat...
00:18:21.53\00:18:23.87
Oh, she got the old bum's rush
like, "Okay, away from here... "
00:18:23.90\00:18:29.64
It's really funny
but that's the beginning,
00:18:29.67\00:18:34.28
that was the beginning
and things went very rapidly,
00:18:34.31\00:18:39.88
I mean, when God does
something, He doesn't...
00:18:39.91\00:18:42.05
it's God doing it, you know.
00:18:42.08\00:18:44.82
One of the unique
things about that meeting,
00:18:44.85\00:18:47.26
my little daughter, who
was just going on three...
00:18:47.29\00:18:51.99
No, she was four.
00:18:52.03\00:18:53.40
going on four... she
just kept looking at Jo
00:18:53.43\00:18:58.87
and took her by the hand.
00:18:58.90\00:19:03.84
And, you know, your grandmother,
"Mama" as we called her,
00:19:03.87\00:19:08.98
wanted to take her and
take her to the restroom,
00:19:09.04\00:19:11.25
she said, "No,"
and she held my hand,
00:19:11.28\00:19:12.91
she said, "this
is our new mommy"
00:19:12.95\00:19:15.38
I mean, it was the Holy Spirit.
00:19:15.42\00:19:17.75
Oh, you're going
to make me cry now.
00:19:17.82\00:19:19.79
"This is our new
mommy" what is there to say?
00:19:19.82\00:19:23.56
It is so amazing that God...
00:19:23.59\00:19:25.29
we serve a God who,
from 14, heard your prayer
00:19:25.33\00:19:30.67
who saved you that day
00:19:30.70\00:19:33.34
because you
became converted that day
00:19:33.37\00:19:36.20
and was fitting you,
Uncle Jackie, to be her husband.
00:19:36.24\00:19:41.44
After the Conference
was over and she went home,
00:19:41.48\00:19:44.91
now, He didn't talk to
me like He talked to her,
00:19:44.95\00:19:48.35
saying, "this is your wife"
00:19:48.38\00:19:49.75
but I couldn't get
her out of my mind.
00:19:49.78\00:19:52.52
So, finally I said,
"I need to call her"
00:19:52.55\00:19:55.29
which I did, she
had given me her number,
00:19:55.32\00:19:57.99
and... went on from there.
00:19:58.03\00:20:04.23
That is
tremendous, really, tremendous.
00:20:04.27\00:20:08.14
I think, Yvonne,
I would like to say
00:20:08.17\00:20:12.01
that when I made a decision
at 14... that's very important
00:20:12.07\00:20:16.01
that you make a decision
who's going to lead in your life
00:20:16.04\00:20:19.98
I made a decision
00:20:20.02\00:20:21.82
and then God followed
through on my decision.
00:20:21.85\00:20:24.29
God doesn't make us do anything,
He gives us the choice,
00:20:24.32\00:20:27.42
the power of choice,
00:20:27.46\00:20:28.79
and He gave me
the power of choice,
00:20:28.82\00:20:30.93
and I made a
decision when I get married,
00:20:30.96\00:20:34.30
if I should get married,
00:20:34.36\00:20:35.70
that God would do
the choosing for me
00:20:35.73\00:20:38.17
and He followed
through, He is awesome.
00:20:38.20\00:20:40.50
He's awesome.
00:20:40.57\00:20:41.90
Oh yeah, I would
have no other friend.
00:20:41.94\00:20:43.44
Yes, yes, yes.
00:20:43.47\00:20:44.87
Another element in that story is
00:20:44.91\00:20:46.44
meeting her again,
she lived in Buffalo,
00:20:46.47\00:20:52.48
near Niagara Falls, and
during our communication,
00:20:52.51\00:21:00.56
I said, "How about
us getting together?"
00:21:00.59\00:21:04.89
So I went to visit them,
they invited me to their home
00:21:04.93\00:21:08.86
to spend a weekend, now
get this now, a weekend,
00:21:08.90\00:21:12.87
three days,
Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
00:21:12.90\00:21:15.47
Now, we had met...
we had seen each other
00:21:15.50\00:21:18.04
once or twice, just once?
00:21:18.07\00:21:20.84
We had not seen each
other since we had met,
00:21:20.88\00:21:23.61
Lord have mercy.
00:21:23.71\00:21:25.15
But what an intense three days!
00:21:25.18\00:21:28.62
We got to
talking about everything.
00:21:28.65\00:21:32.72
We drove over from Buffalo
00:21:32.75\00:21:35.09
over to the
Niagara side of the Falls,
00:21:35.12\00:21:37.03
and it was just...
we went from A to Z.
00:21:37.09\00:21:40.66
A to Z...
00:21:40.70\00:21:42.26
I mean, we just were
in it about children...
00:21:42.30\00:21:44.20
About life and goals and
children and what have you...
00:21:44.23\00:21:49.70
and on the second day,
I'm standing up at the Falls
00:21:49.74\00:21:54.74
looking at the Falls,
and I kept looking at her
00:21:54.78\00:21:59.31
I don't know really
going on in my mind,
00:21:59.35\00:22:02.88
but I kept looking at
her, we got home that night
00:22:02.95\00:22:07.82
Well, I said to
myself, "This feels good. "
00:22:07.86\00:22:13.60
Hmmm...
00:22:13.63\00:22:15.20
When he says "Home," we
were at my parents' home
00:22:15.23\00:22:18.93
because we were
staying with my parents.
00:22:18.97\00:22:21.47
And there we were continuing
to talk and what have you
00:22:21.50\00:22:24.91
and by that time I
was preparing to leave
00:22:24.94\00:22:27.94
the second day now and
she was fixing me lunch
00:22:27.98\00:22:31.78
and she and her
mother were chatting about
00:22:31.81\00:22:35.58
what was going on.
00:22:35.62\00:22:36.95
While I was fixing lunch,
my mom was fixing the lunch,
00:22:36.99\00:22:43.39
she came by and whispered,
00:22:43.43\00:22:45.09
"Put a little
letter in his lunch"
00:22:45.13\00:22:47.66
Oh, she's too
much, she's too much!
00:22:47.73\00:22:50.23
She got everybody involved...
00:22:50.30\00:22:51.63
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:51.67\00:22:53.97
That he would read on his way
home while traveling, you know.
00:22:54.00\00:22:58.04
So she took me to the bus stop
and I was preparing to leave
00:22:58.07\00:23:02.18
we had about a
30-minute to an hour wait
00:23:02.21\00:23:06.35
for the bus to get going
00:23:06.38\00:23:07.82
and I sat there
and looked at her.
00:23:07.85\00:23:10.49
I could feel him
staring at me, I just felt it,
00:23:10.52\00:23:13.76
I said, "Stop looking at me. "
00:23:13.79\00:23:15.12
You were slaying... you
were slaying, I love it.
00:23:15.16\00:23:18.13
So what happened at the bus?
00:23:18.16\00:23:19.63
The next words
out of my mouth were,
00:23:19.66\00:23:22.80
"Would you be
willing to marry me?"
00:23:22.83\00:23:25.97
And you had just gotten
together for the first date?
00:23:26.00\00:23:29.44
This was the second time.
00:23:29.47\00:23:31.54
And my answer was, "Yes. "
00:23:31.61\00:23:33.64
Oh! now, would you
recommend that to other people?
00:23:33.68\00:23:38.85
No... no...
00:23:38.88\00:23:41.78
Well, you see, it's...
00:23:41.82\00:23:43.15
we can't go into
that at this time
00:23:43.18\00:23:44.89
but God's in charge,
00:23:44.95\00:23:46.29
you have to allow Him to do
what He does and you will know.
00:23:46.32\00:23:51.36
And you knew that
it was a "God thing. "
00:23:51.39\00:23:53.86
I knew, yeah... right.
00:23:53.90\00:23:55.20
So, that brings us to what
you've done with this book,
00:23:55.23\00:23:58.50
tell us about the book that's
coming out, this devotional...
00:23:58.53\00:24:01.20
and what kinds of things
you're going to talk about.
00:24:01.27\00:24:04.74
Well, quickly... our children
gave us a big celebration
00:24:04.77\00:24:08.21
for our 50th
Anniversary and out of that,
00:24:08.24\00:24:12.21
our daughter
created a little bookmark
00:24:12.25\00:24:16.12
with 50 tips on
becoming a professional lover.
00:24:16.15\00:24:22.19
Give us a few of
those tips real quick.
00:24:22.22\00:24:26.13
One was, to
follow God's pattern...
00:24:26.16\00:24:29.76
Okay.
00:24:29.80\00:24:31.13
the other was "A woman
needs to know how a man thinks"
00:24:31.17\00:24:36.54
"A man needs to
know how a woman thinks"
00:24:36.57\00:24:40.04
I don't have the
bookmark in front of me.
00:24:40.08\00:24:43.41
I have the... well,
from the book itself,
00:24:43.45\00:24:46.38
you have: Pattern your love
after Christ and His church,
00:24:46.45\00:24:49.78
structure your love
around all the principles
00:24:49.82\00:24:52.52
of 1st Corinthians 13,
doing things God's way,
00:24:52.55\00:24:55.22
love is a
commitment not a feeling,
00:24:55.26\00:24:57.13
choose to be happy,
00:24:57.19\00:24:58.53
so each of
these... is like a week.
00:24:58.56\00:25:01.70
Yeah, one a
week, and the idea is,
00:25:01.73\00:25:04.80
you read your
information for that week,
00:25:04.83\00:25:07.04
then you have some
work to do for that week,
00:25:07.07\00:25:09.20
you and your spouse will
work on these things together
00:25:09.24\00:25:11.77
for the week by trial and error,
00:25:11.81\00:25:15.01
And remember
that love is not love
00:25:15.04\00:25:18.18
until the loved one says so.
00:25:18.21\00:25:20.72
Hmmm...
00:25:20.75\00:25:22.15
People think
they're loving one another
00:25:22.18\00:25:24.19
but they're really doing
it their way, their style...
00:25:24.22\00:25:27.79
Their perception of
love and that's quite natural
00:25:27.82\00:25:30.83
but we're learning now
how to love professionally.
00:25:30.86\00:25:33.73
All right, all right.
00:25:33.80\00:25:35.10
That's the difference.
00:25:35.13\00:25:36.46
All right... and let's
put your website up too
00:25:36.50\00:25:37.83
so that we have that website
it's going to be on the screen
00:25:37.87\00:25:41.04
so that people can
go to that and find out
00:25:41.07\00:25:43.47
and doing Webinars as
well, because traveling is a lot
00:25:43.51\00:25:47.94
but now people can just
call in and have a Webinar,
00:25:47.98\00:25:52.41
tell us a little
bit about the Webinar,
00:25:52.45\00:25:54.65
what are you going to
talk about during the Webinar.
00:25:54.68\00:25:57.35
The kinds of things
that are on the bookmark
00:25:57.39\00:26:00.09
and one a week...
one a month and...
00:26:00.12\00:26:05.33
The point is to have
people have an opportunity
00:26:05.36\00:26:09.76
to interact with us, to
gain from our experience
00:26:09.83\00:26:14.24
or we'll gain
from theirs, you know,
00:26:14.27\00:26:16.47
you're always learning,
you never reach the top
00:26:16.50\00:26:19.61
you're always
climbing toward the top
00:26:19.64\00:26:22.08
that's got us at
the top as a Leader.
00:26:22.11\00:26:24.48
And this 50 years of
marriage also includes
00:26:24.51\00:26:28.75
over 40 years of
teaching "Marriage and Family"
00:26:28.78\00:26:32.35
at the Oakwood University
00:26:32.39\00:26:34.86
and Seminars
all over the Country
00:26:34.89\00:26:39.43
and throughout the Caribbean.
00:26:39.46\00:26:40.96
So with the Webinars,
we'll be able to do it
00:26:40.96\00:26:45.03
without the traveling.
00:26:45.07\00:26:48.34
And I'm a Cancer
survivor, going to my third year
00:26:48.37\00:26:52.57
wondering what I'm going to do
00:26:52.61\00:26:55.38
and my children said to me,
00:26:55.44\00:26:58.05
"Why not revive your work,
00:26:58.08\00:27:00.58
you've been
teaching new Seminars
00:27:00.65\00:27:05.45
for over 40 years
00:27:05.49\00:27:08.46
get back to work... "
00:27:08.49\00:27:11.39
And you can do
it right from there.
00:27:11.43\00:27:13.86
I mean, that's awesome.
00:27:13.93\00:27:15.63
"Get back to work, you
don't have to travel anymore. "
00:27:15.66\00:27:17.70
Will you come back
when you've done the book?
00:27:17.73\00:27:21.04
Oh, we'd be
delighted to come back,
00:27:21.07\00:27:23.41
my son will drive us,
if Al will drive us back.
00:27:23.44\00:27:26.27
That would be so wonderful
00:27:26.31\00:27:29.98
and if you want to get
touch with the Thomases,
00:27:30.05\00:27:32.05
go to their website,
TheProfessionalLover. net
00:27:32.08\00:27:34.12
check it out, find out...
there are going to be a lot of
00:27:34.15\00:27:36.12
holiday-specific
types of Webinars,
00:27:36.15\00:27:38.95
so check that... that Website,
00:27:38.99\00:27:41.69
go there and
check out their love...
00:27:41.72\00:27:45.56
be a professional lover.
00:27:45.59\00:27:47.40
I love that, I
think that is too cute,
00:27:47.40\00:27:50.13
I love that,
00:27:50.17\00:27:51.50
thank you so much
for being with us.
00:27:51.53\00:27:53.07
Thank you. Thank
you for having us come.
00:27:53.10\00:27:54.87
And thank you so
much for tuning in
00:27:54.90\00:27:56.77
we're so blessed
that you're here,
00:27:56.87\00:27:58.61
make sure you tune in next
time because you know what?
00:27:58.64\00:28:01.28
It just wouldn't be
the same without you.
00:28:01.31\00:28:03.71