Wouldn't it be great to
have some bite-sized portions
00:00:01.36\00:00:03.70
of love prescriptions?
00:00:03.73\00:00:05.27
Well, stay
tuned to meet a couple
00:00:05.33\00:00:06.97
that has the answers you need
00:00:07.04\00:00:08.60
to make your
relationship special.
00:00:08.64\00:00:10.51
My name is Yvonne Lewis
00:00:10.54\00:00:12.11
and you're
watching Urban Report.
00:00:12.14\00:00:14.11
Hello and
welcome to Urban Report.
00:00:37.80\00:00:39.60
My guests today are
Claude and Jocelyn Thomas
00:00:39.63\00:00:42.50
Authors and Family Counselors
00:00:42.54\00:00:44.74
and in the
interest of full disclosure,
00:00:44.77\00:00:47.48
my aunt and uncle.
00:00:47.51\00:00:48.84
Welcome to Urban Report, yeah...
00:00:48.88\00:00:50.95
Thank you
Yvonne. Glad to be here.
00:00:51.01\00:00:52.58
Good to see you darling.
00:00:52.61\00:00:54.32
You guys are here...
00:00:54.35\00:00:55.68
my whole life... ever since...
00:00:55.72\00:00:58.79
well I've know Uncle Jackie
longer than I've known Aunt Jo
00:00:58.82\00:01:03.76
but you guys have
been such an example to me
00:01:03.79\00:01:08.40
of what a real, Godly
marriage should look like,
00:01:08.43\00:01:12.90
I mean... and
everybody who knows you
00:01:12.93\00:01:15.97
like... when you
think about great marriages,
00:01:16.00\00:01:19.17
you guys...
00:01:19.21\00:01:20.54
you guys really
do praise the Lord.
00:01:20.58\00:01:22.24
Amen, amen... Praise the Lord.
00:01:22.28\00:01:24.18
An epitome of a great marriage
and that has turned into...
00:01:24.21\00:01:28.55
your marriage and your
knowledge about relationships
00:01:28.58\00:01:33.82
has turned into a ministry...
00:01:33.86\00:01:35.72
tell us about that
journey how did that happen?
00:01:35.79\00:01:38.56
Well it happened
when I went to Andrews
00:01:38.59\00:01:43.77
to work on my
Master's and Doctoral studies,
00:01:43.80\00:01:48.34
and I just found that
00:01:48.37\00:01:53.21
the thing that I
had been studying
00:01:53.27\00:01:56.44
during the '70s...
study really began seriously
00:01:56.51\00:02:03.18
on marriage and
family relationships
00:02:03.22\00:02:07.62
and I picked up
on that at Andrews,
00:02:07.66\00:02:11.96
I took courses in Family
Life, Marriage and Family life,
00:02:11.99\00:02:15.53
well, I was studying
00:02:15.56\00:02:18.63
Educational Psychology and
Counseling and what have you...
00:02:18.67\00:02:21.97
and that just became my groove.
00:02:22.00\00:02:24.24
Okay, all right...
00:02:24.27\00:02:26.04
And I began to
look at it seriously
00:02:26.07\00:02:29.71
especially when I discovered
00:02:29.74\00:02:33.42
that the
conclusions that I was reading
00:02:33.45\00:02:37.09
in the studies
that were going on
00:02:37.12\00:02:38.69
really fit well
00:02:38.72\00:02:46.90
with what I was
reading in the Bible
00:02:46.93\00:02:49.10
about love, you know...
00:02:49.13\00:02:54.17
and when I read in Ellen White
that love is not a feeling,
00:02:54.20\00:03:01.88
it's a
principle, a way of behaving
00:03:01.91\00:03:06.18
that one has to come
to learn and practice
00:03:06.21\00:03:10.02
to understand how to really
relate to the opposite sex
00:03:10.09\00:03:16.69
and that intrigued me
00:03:16.73\00:03:19.56
and one of my professors that
was on the verge of retiring
00:03:19.59\00:03:28.00
had a group
that he was mentoring
00:03:28.04\00:03:34.58
Jo and I joined the group
and listened to his Seminars
00:03:34.61\00:03:41.25
and we discussed what
was going on in the Bible
00:03:41.28\00:03:43.89
and so forth... and that
got more and more intriguing
00:03:43.92\00:03:48.22
and I said to Jo,
"We'd like to do that"
00:03:48.26\00:03:53.03
We like to do
that... you know... and...
00:03:53.09\00:03:57.77
Doing the Seminars...
conducting the Seminars.
00:03:57.83\00:04:01.27
Oh, okay, okay, and
so you brought Aunt Jo
00:04:01.30\00:04:04.71
into the mix and
got her involved...
00:04:04.77\00:04:07.31
Into the mix... right...
00:04:07.34\00:04:09.31
It was awkward at first
00:04:09.34\00:04:11.25
because he is the
professor... and the teacher...
00:04:11.28\00:04:13.15
it was a little awkward at first
as we stand before the group
00:04:13.18\00:04:16.28
but I had my good
practice with my family at home
00:04:16.32\00:04:20.66
so, after a while it
became natural for me
00:04:20.69\00:04:23.56
standing up and
talking and sharing about it.
00:04:23.59\00:04:26.39
We really got good at that...
00:04:26.43\00:04:28.33
that sharing... really...
00:04:28.36\00:04:30.17
incidences that
occurred within our family
00:04:30.20\00:04:32.23
to help people to
know that they're normal
00:04:32.27\00:04:34.14
and we're normal, it's a
work in progress, I guess
00:04:34.17\00:04:38.17
a work in progress... family...
00:04:38.21\00:04:40.41
What a great thing to do because
00:04:40.44\00:04:42.41
so many times people wonder,
00:04:42.44\00:04:44.35
"Is my situation the
only one of its kind,
00:04:44.38\00:04:47.75
am I unique, are we unique,
00:04:47.92\00:04:50.69
are we kind of sick,"
sometimes it's kind of sick,
00:04:50.72\00:04:54.02
but then, with you
guys, you were able to say,
00:04:54.06\00:04:57.33
"This is what goes on...
00:04:57.36\00:04:58.69
some of these things
go on in a normal family"
00:04:58.73\00:05:01.66
and so you were able
to help people to know
00:05:01.70\00:05:04.67
that they're okay.
00:05:04.70\00:05:06.03
Well, the big thing about it was
00:05:06.07\00:05:08.14
that the problems that
you have... can be fixed.
00:05:08.17\00:05:12.77
All right, all right.
00:05:12.81\00:05:14.44
And of course,
people enjoy that, you know,
00:05:14.48\00:05:18.75
I said, "But you
got to work at it"
00:05:18.78\00:05:20.95
they have to work hard at it,
00:05:20.98\00:05:22.58
which is where this idea of
being a professional lover came.
00:05:22.62\00:05:26.72
Come on now, I love that
00:05:26.76\00:05:28.22
now... is that the name...
00:05:28.26\00:05:29.69
you are writing a
devotional book, correct?
00:05:29.72\00:05:33.50
Right, right.
00:05:33.53\00:05:34.86
What's the title?
00:05:34.90\00:05:36.23
Becoming a professional lover.
00:05:36.26\00:05:39.17
Becoming a professional lover...
00:05:39.20\00:05:41.40
now you know...
that's kind of...
00:05:41.47\00:05:43.61
I like that... I
like that, it sounds very,
00:05:43.64\00:05:46.51
what's the word? Assured...
00:05:46.54\00:05:49.68
Yvonne, Yvonne, let me
share something with you
00:05:49.71\00:05:52.95
one of my tools that I use
when I'm reading and studying
00:05:52.98\00:05:57.29
is the dictionary... Okay...
00:05:57.32\00:05:58.85
and I actually looked
up what a "profession" is
00:05:58.89\00:06:02.49
before we get to "professional"
00:06:02.52\00:06:04.36
"a profession is a calling
requiring specialized knowledge
00:06:04.39\00:06:09.46
and often requiring specialized
academic preparation"
00:06:09.50\00:06:14.20
keep in mind now, we're
talking about the family
00:06:14.24\00:06:17.04
so when Claude says that
he is a "professional lover"
00:06:17.07\00:06:20.24
"a professional is
one that engages in
00:06:20.28\00:06:23.24
activity professionally"
so now, husband and wife,
00:06:23.28\00:06:28.45
marriage and
family, it's a profession.
00:06:28.48\00:06:31.35
It's something that
you need to go to school,
00:06:31.39\00:06:33.99
learn... not
necessarily a school building
00:06:34.02\00:06:36.46
but you're
learning from God's Word,
00:06:36.49\00:06:39.36
who is the
pattern of family life,
00:06:39.39\00:06:41.96
He created it, so that,
00:06:42.00\00:06:44.03
if I want to be a
"professional lover"
00:06:44.07\00:06:46.20
like the profession,
00:06:46.23\00:06:47.57
like the
professor... who is God...
00:06:47.60\00:06:49.70
then I must study His Word
00:06:49.74\00:06:51.51
and He has given us the pattern,
00:06:51.54\00:06:54.31
as to how to be like Him,
00:06:54.34\00:06:55.91
I love that...
00:06:55.94\00:06:57.28
so it really
becomes... it's beautiful,
00:06:57.31\00:06:59.05
it's a beautiful thing,
00:06:59.08\00:07:00.42
and you're not
out there by yourself,
00:07:00.45\00:07:02.32
or by yourselves.
00:07:02.35\00:07:04.29
So there are...
then these principles
00:07:04.32\00:07:07.72
for family life
that can be pulled
00:07:07.76\00:07:11.09
or extrapolated from the Word,
from the Spirit of Prophecy
00:07:11.13\00:07:14.03
and applied to make
a family successful.
00:07:14.06\00:07:16.53
Yes. Exactly.
00:07:16.56\00:07:18.27
And you guys have been
married for how many years?
00:07:18.30\00:07:21.07
Fifty years...
00:07:21.10\00:07:22.44
He'd like to say 51 now
because we are in our 51st year.
00:07:22.47\00:07:26.17
So what would you say to someone
00:07:26.21\00:07:33.08
who has either been
married several times
00:07:33.11\00:07:37.09
or has not been
successful in one marriage,
00:07:37.12\00:07:41.42
what would you say
to them about how...
00:07:41.49\00:07:44.93
what is it that
keeps you guys together,
00:07:44.99\00:07:48.40
what makes a
marriage successful?
00:07:48.46\00:07:50.40
When basic needs are met,
00:07:50.43\00:07:55.00
when I said that
marriage is not a feeling
00:07:55.04\00:07:58.51
love is not a
feeling, it's a way of behaving
00:07:58.54\00:08:02.41
and the operational
definition of that for me
00:08:02.44\00:08:06.88
came from the story
of the Good Samaritan
00:08:06.92\00:08:11.19
and knowing that
00:08:11.22\00:08:16.76
there was not a
whole lot of good feeling
00:08:16.79\00:08:20.06
between them the
Good Samaritan came along
00:08:20.10\00:08:23.30
and saw this
wounded man by the road
00:08:23.33\00:08:25.50
and was prompted to
go over and help him out,
00:08:25.53\00:08:29.54
stayed with him, fixed him up,
00:08:29.57\00:08:32.04
when that didn't work
00:08:32.07\00:08:34.58
during this little
time they had together
00:08:34.61\00:08:37.65
took him to an Inn,
00:08:37.68\00:08:39.81
stayed with him
overnight kept working with him
00:08:39.85\00:08:43.05
and when he found
that he needed more help,
00:08:43.08\00:08:46.39
then he went and
said to the Innkeeper,
00:08:46.42\00:08:49.22
"I want you to just
keep working with him
00:08:49.26\00:08:52.03
until he is fully healed
00:08:52.06\00:08:55.96
and when I come
back from my journey,
00:08:56.00\00:08:59.43
I'll pay you
whatever it costs to do it"
00:08:59.47\00:09:02.84
so out of that,
00:09:02.87\00:09:04.54
I learned that
from God's perspective
00:09:04.57\00:09:08.21
an operation or
definition of love
00:09:08.24\00:09:11.81
would be using my
time, energy and resources
00:09:11.85\00:09:15.58
to satisfy the legitimate
needs of another human being
00:09:15.65\00:09:21.09
and minister to their happiness
and personal well-being.
00:09:21.12\00:09:25.86
I love that...
00:09:25.89\00:09:27.90
And then I discovered,
00:09:27.93\00:09:29.66
reading through 1 Corinthians 13
00:09:29.70\00:09:33.34
that love... not
only has meaning,
00:09:33.40\00:09:36.20
it has structure,
00:09:36.24\00:09:37.57
and all those
principles that are listed there
00:09:37.61\00:09:40.51
in 1st Corinthians 13,
was a part of that structure.
00:09:40.54\00:09:43.95
Unpack that for us
a little bit for us.
00:09:43.98\00:09:47.35
Well, you know, it
starts off by saying
00:09:47.38\00:09:52.99
that if you just say
the words, talk love...
00:09:53.02\00:09:58.36
you're like a sounding
gong in a tinkling cymbal.
00:09:58.39\00:10:02.96
Nothing's really going on.
00:10:03.00\00:10:06.03
I don't feel loved,
you're saying nice things
00:10:06.10\00:10:09.44
but I know the real deal.
00:10:09.47\00:10:11.47
But if you deal with the
principles related to that
00:10:11.51\00:10:17.38
that they list in
1st Corinthians 13,
00:10:17.41\00:10:20.45
then, you're not
just talking about it,
00:10:20.48\00:10:24.85
you're actually dealing
with those necessary elements
00:10:24.89\00:10:29.82
that make love... love...
00:10:29.86\00:10:32.33
Hmmm... hmm... hmmm...
00:10:32.36\00:10:34.56
And then of course, when
it comes to relationships,
00:10:34.60\00:10:39.37
you know, the chapter ends
00:10:39.40\00:10:41.44
by saying there are
three primary principles
00:10:41.47\00:10:45.67
faith, hope and love,
but the greatest of these
00:10:45.71\00:10:49.88
is love. Hmmm... hmmm...
00:10:49.91\00:10:52.81
And of course, when
you think about God...
00:10:52.85\00:10:54.55
that's how He defines Himself,
00:10:54.58\00:10:57.75
in 1st John it
says, "God is love. "
00:10:57.82\00:11:02.19
Hmmm... hmmm...
00:11:02.22\00:11:03.63
And those that love,
the way God says to love,
00:11:03.66\00:11:09.36
right... can meet those needs
00:11:09.40\00:11:18.01
and produce happiness and
joy in their relationships.
00:11:18.04\00:11:23.01
So how does that play out
in... in your relationship,
00:11:23.04\00:11:27.98
how do you
apply those principles
00:11:28.02\00:11:31.12
to your relationship?
00:11:31.15\00:11:32.55
That's what I wanted
to share and that is that
00:11:32.59\00:11:36.42
my goal... before I
even met "a husband,"
00:11:36.46\00:11:40.80
anybody... my
goal was to satisfy...
00:11:40.83\00:11:45.07
to love someone so well
the way God said to love them
00:11:45.13\00:11:49.20
that nobody else would want them
00:11:49.24\00:11:51.17
they would just be that spoiled,
they'd be totally mine...
00:11:51.21\00:11:54.04
And I am spoiled indeed...
00:11:54.08\00:11:57.31
I know you are... so precious...
00:11:57.35\00:11:59.68
and I made it a
study, I really did,
00:11:59.71\00:12:04.39
it's... professionally I went
to school to become a nurse,
00:12:04.42\00:12:09.32
which I did become,
but I had to go to school,
00:12:09.39\00:12:12.29
I had to practice,
I had to take tests,
00:12:12.33\00:12:14.66
it was a profession that I was
seeking to become involved with,
00:12:14.70\00:12:18.83
and to do that for a husband,
00:12:18.87\00:12:22.27
for a man that I chose to love,
00:12:22.30\00:12:26.51
I put forth all
that same effort,
00:12:26.54\00:12:29.28
that was just my personal goal.
00:12:29.31\00:12:31.58
I think that's so beautiful,
00:12:31.61\00:12:33.85
I wish more women
and men would do that.
00:12:33.88\00:12:36.42
I think today, we think of...
00:12:36.45\00:12:38.32
we don't think about
marriage as something
00:12:38.35\00:12:40.32
that you have to
study or prepare for.
00:12:40.36\00:12:42.32
You grow up, you get married,
00:12:42.36\00:12:45.59
you go to
school, you get married,
00:12:45.63\00:12:47.20
you have children, you get old,
00:12:47.23\00:12:48.60
it starts all over again...
00:12:48.63\00:12:50.00
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
00:12:50.03\00:12:51.63
But it is something
that calls for effort,
00:12:51.67\00:12:55.47
for studying, for understanding,
00:12:55.50\00:12:57.67
and, of course, if you
want to learn the right way,
00:12:57.74\00:13:00.88
go to the source...
I can't say that enough
00:13:00.91\00:13:03.95
and we want to help people
00:13:03.98\00:13:07.02
to achieve the
happiness that we have achieved.
00:13:07.05\00:13:09.78
It's so evident,
when people know you
00:13:09.82\00:13:14.16
and they meet you
00:13:14.19\00:13:15.52
that you have a
special relationship,
00:13:15.56\00:13:17.86
you still hold hands,
00:13:17.89\00:13:19.26
you're still very
loving toward each other,
00:13:19.29\00:13:21.90
and affectionate
toward each other,
00:13:21.93\00:13:23.47
and it's just... to me...
00:13:23.50\00:13:25.57
it's such a
beautiful thing to see
00:13:25.63\00:13:27.44
because it's so rare,
it's just such a rarity,
00:13:27.50\00:13:30.87
let's go back for a second
and talk a little bit about
00:13:30.91\00:13:33.91
how you two met, because,
00:13:33.98\00:13:36.08
the whole thing was
just so God-ordained...
00:13:36.11\00:13:39.51
It was God ordained...
00:13:39.55\00:13:41.48
tell me how you met,
let's hear a little bit of
00:13:41.52\00:13:43.72
each of your
perceptions of each other.
00:13:43.75\00:13:45.69
Well, I could
begin with saying that
00:13:45.72\00:13:47.76
when I was 14 years old, I
was visiting an aunt and uncle
00:13:47.79\00:13:51.66
for the summer, and as
my habit, at nighttime,
00:13:51.69\00:13:54.96
I was kneeling
by my bed to pray...
00:13:55.03\00:13:57.97
and my uncle came
in, he was a big teaser,
00:13:58.00\00:14:00.44
he said, "Jo, are you
praying for a husband?"
00:14:00.50\00:14:03.47
I said, "Uncle George,
I'm only 14 years old,"
00:14:03.51\00:14:06.47
he said, "no...
" he got serious,
00:14:06.51\00:14:08.28
he said, "Begin
now to ask the Lord,
00:14:08.31\00:14:10.05
should you get a husband,
for Him to choose your husband"
00:14:10.08\00:14:13.18
and that stayed with me,
so all through high school,
00:14:13.21\00:14:16.82
college and et
cetera, I enjoyed myself
00:14:16.89\00:14:19.95
dating and whatever because
00:14:19.99\00:14:21.72
when I would get ready to marry,
00:14:21.76\00:14:23.79
should there be
marriage in my future,
00:14:23.83\00:14:26.29
that God would do the choosing,
00:14:26.33\00:14:27.96
and I already
told... I always told God
00:14:28.00\00:14:29.50
that He would be
the one to choose,
00:14:29.56\00:14:31.93
so that's...
that's how I met this man.
00:14:31.97\00:14:34.34
I was the Youth Leader...
00:14:34.37\00:14:38.74
Let me tell the
story from there.
00:14:38.77\00:14:42.08
I was at a
critical point in my life,
00:14:42.11\00:14:45.31
I had lost a
wife, had three children
00:14:45.38\00:14:48.52
and there was a
grieving for about six months
00:14:48.55\00:14:55.22
and my aunt and uncle who
were very avid youth leaders
00:14:55.26\00:15:02.23
in the church...
there was a Youth Convention
00:15:02.26\00:15:07.27
going on in Atlantic City
00:15:07.30\00:15:08.80
and they asked me to
drive them to this convention,
00:15:08.84\00:15:14.31
of course, reluctantly,
00:15:14.34\00:15:15.68
I didn't really
want to go because
00:15:15.71\00:15:17.35
I would meet folks that
I knew and they'd be asking
00:15:17.41\00:15:21.12
how I'm doing since the
loss of my wife and everything
00:15:21.15\00:15:24.85
but I agreed finally to go,
00:15:24.89\00:15:27.92
I was sitting
at the last Sabbath
00:15:27.96\00:15:31.46
of that Conference and
a young man was preaching
00:15:31.49\00:15:37.17
talking about his
conversion, his redevelopment
00:15:37.20\00:15:42.00
and what have you, and
I heard a voice in my mind
00:15:42.07\00:15:46.88
that said,
"Claude, are you ready
00:15:46.91\00:15:51.91
to give your life to me fully
00:15:51.95\00:15:55.85
so that I can help
you continue to develop
00:15:55.88\00:16:00.02
and become the
man I want you to be?"
00:16:00.06\00:16:04.39
And with tears
streaming down my face
00:16:04.43\00:16:08.70
I said, "Yes, Lord,
I'm ready, I'm ready...
00:16:08.73\00:16:15.00
you saved my wife,
now save me, save me"
00:16:15.07\00:16:21.28
and from there...
after the sermon was over
00:16:21.31\00:16:26.98
and we were sitting around,
00:16:27.02\00:16:28.68
an aunt in the
family came rushing up to me
00:16:28.72\00:16:33.62
and grabbed me
by my hand and said,
00:16:33.66\00:16:37.13
"I want you to meet Jo. "
00:16:37.16\00:16:38.49
Meanwhile, before I got to
him, knowing that another aunt
00:16:38.53\00:16:44.57
see... these older aunts,
00:16:44.60\00:16:46.20
they're working
on things for him,
00:16:46.23\00:16:48.30
his family is involved...
00:16:48.34\00:16:50.01
but this aunt
grabbed me and she said,
00:16:50.04\00:16:52.44
"I want you to meet
Jackie, have you met Jackie?
00:16:52.47\00:16:54.54
That's his nickname. Yeah, yes.
00:16:54.58\00:16:55.91
And I said, "No"
and I was shy about it
00:16:55.94\00:16:59.61
and I must say that I
had gone to this Conference
00:16:59.65\00:17:03.05
looking good
because I'm on the hunt.
00:17:03.08\00:17:06.59
At 26... you look ready...
00:17:06.62\00:17:10.89
So if you go shopping,
look nice, play the role,
00:17:10.93\00:17:14.70
so, as I was
approaching him though, Yvonne,
00:17:14.73\00:17:18.10
the thing that really sticks
out in my mind is that I heard,
00:17:18.13\00:17:21.37
"Jo, this is the man
that you're going to marry"
00:17:21.40\00:17:25.44
and no one's
around, no one heard that,
00:17:25.47\00:17:28.28
but I knew, God was telling me,
00:17:28.31\00:17:30.35
"Jo, this is the man
that you're going to marry"
00:17:30.38\00:17:33.25
That was the answer to
the 14-year-old prayer.
00:17:33.28\00:17:36.28
Yes, yes, yes.
00:17:36.35\00:17:37.69
So when I got to
him, I didn't know him,
00:17:37.72\00:17:39.79
I'd never met him,
I'd heard about him
00:17:39.82\00:17:42.09
in the loss of his wife and
I felt very sorry about that
00:17:42.12\00:17:45.49
and I was so sad
when I heard about it
00:17:45.53\00:17:49.06
but when I got
to him, he stood up,
00:17:49.10\00:17:52.63
just very debonair,
00:17:52.67\00:17:55.50
and I don't know
what his voice was before,
00:17:55.57\00:17:59.41
but his voice was very deep.
00:17:59.44\00:18:00.84
He probably took it
down a couple of octaves.
00:18:00.88\00:18:04.28
He said, "Well,
hello... " I was so impressed.
00:18:04.31\00:18:07.68
Oh, that's so good.
00:18:07.72\00:18:10.32
And then when I
got to him, Yvonne,
00:18:10.39\00:18:11.92
he was sitting
next to a young lady,
00:18:11.95\00:18:13.46
because he was a good
catch at this point in life,
00:18:13.49\00:18:17.53
and his aunt just
grabbed her and took her away
00:18:17.56\00:18:21.53
and he offered me a seat...
00:18:21.56\00:18:23.87
Oh, she got the old bum's rush
like, "Okay, away from here... "
00:18:23.90\00:18:29.67
It's really funny
but that's the beginning,
00:18:29.70\00:18:34.28
that was the beginning
and things went very rapidly,
00:18:34.31\00:18:39.91
I mean, when God does
something, He doesn't...
00:18:39.95\00:18:42.08
it's God doing it, you know.
00:18:42.12\00:18:44.85
One of the unique
things about that meeting,
00:18:44.89\00:18:47.26
my little daughter, who
was just going on three...
00:18:47.29\00:18:52.03
No, she was four.
00:18:52.06\00:18:53.40
going on four... she
just kept looking at Jo
00:18:53.43\00:18:58.93
and took her by the hand.
00:18:58.97\00:19:03.81
And, you know, your grandmother,
"Mama" as we called her,
00:19:03.84\00:19:08.98
wanted to take her and
take her to the restroom,
00:19:09.04\00:19:11.25
she said, "No,"
and she held my hand,
00:19:11.28\00:19:12.91
she said, "this
is our new mommy"
00:19:12.95\00:19:15.38
I mean, it was the Holy Spirit.
00:19:15.42\00:19:17.75
Oh, you're going
to make me cry now.
00:19:17.82\00:19:19.79
"This is our new
mommy" what is there to say?
00:19:19.82\00:19:23.53
It is so amazing that God...
00:19:23.56\00:19:25.29
we serve a God who,
from 14, heard your prayer
00:19:25.33\00:19:30.70
who saved you that day
00:19:30.73\00:19:33.34
because you
became converted that day
00:19:33.37\00:19:36.24
and was fitting you,
Uncle Jackie, to be her husband.
00:19:36.27\00:19:41.48
After the Conference
was over and she went home,
00:19:41.51\00:19:44.95
now, He didn't talk to
me like He talked to her,
00:19:44.98\00:19:48.38
saying, "this is your wife"
00:19:48.42\00:19:49.78
but I couldn't get
her out of my mind.
00:19:49.82\00:19:52.55
So, finally I said,
"I need to call her"
00:19:52.59\00:19:55.32
which I did, she
had given me her number,
00:19:55.36\00:19:58.03
and... went on from there.
00:19:58.06\00:20:04.27
That is
tremendous, really, tremendous.
00:20:04.30\00:20:08.20
I think, Yvonne,
I would like to say
00:20:08.24\00:20:12.07
that when I made a decision
at 14... that's very important
00:20:12.14\00:20:16.08
that you make a decision
who's going to lead in your life
00:20:16.11\00:20:20.02
I made a decision
00:20:20.05\00:20:21.88
and then God followed
through on my decision.
00:20:21.92\00:20:24.35
God doesn't make us do anything,
He gives us the choice,
00:20:24.39\00:20:27.49
the power of choice,
00:20:27.52\00:20:28.86
and He gave me
the power of choice,
00:20:28.89\00:20:30.99
and I made a
decision when I get married,
00:20:31.03\00:20:34.40
if I should get married,
00:20:34.46\00:20:35.80
that God would do
the choosing for me
00:20:35.83\00:20:38.27
and He followed
through, He is awesome.
00:20:38.30\00:20:40.60
He's awesome.
00:20:40.64\00:20:41.97
Oh yeah, I would
have no other friend.
00:20:42.00\00:20:43.54
Yes, yes, yes.
00:20:43.57\00:20:44.97
Another element in that story is
00:20:45.01\00:20:46.54
meeting her again,
she lived in Buffalo,
00:20:46.57\00:20:52.58
near Niagara Falls, and
during our communication,
00:20:52.61\00:21:00.56
I said, "How about
us getting together?"
00:21:00.59\00:21:04.93
So I went to visit them,
they invited me to their home
00:21:04.96\00:21:08.93
to spend a weekend, now
get this now, a weekend,
00:21:08.96\00:21:12.93
three days,
Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
00:21:12.97\00:21:15.54
Now, we had met...
we had seen each other
00:21:15.57\00:21:18.11
once or twice, just once?
00:21:18.14\00:21:20.91
We had not seen each
other since we had met,
00:21:20.94\00:21:23.68
Lord have mercy.
00:21:23.75\00:21:25.21
But what an intense three days!
00:21:25.25\00:21:28.68
We got to
talking about everything.
00:21:28.72\00:21:32.79
We drove over from Buffalo
00:21:32.82\00:21:35.16
over to the
Niagara side of the Falls,
00:21:35.19\00:21:37.09
and it was just...
we went from A to Z.
00:21:37.13\00:21:40.73
A to Z...
00:21:40.76\00:21:42.36
I mean, we just were
in it about children...
00:21:42.40\00:21:44.30
About life and goals and
children and what have you...
00:21:44.33\00:21:49.80
and on the second day,
I'm standing up at the Falls
00:21:49.84\00:21:54.84
looking at the Falls,
and I kept looking at her
00:21:54.88\00:21:59.41
I don't know really
going on in my mind,
00:21:59.45\00:22:02.92
but I kept looking at
her, we got home that night
00:22:02.98\00:22:07.86
Well, I said to
myself, "This feels good. "
00:22:07.89\00:22:13.60
Hmmm...
00:22:13.63\00:22:15.26
When he says "Home," we
were at my parents' home
00:22:15.30\00:22:19.00
because we were
staying with my parents.
00:22:19.03\00:22:21.54
And there we were continuing
to talk and what have you
00:22:21.57\00:22:24.97
and by that time I
was preparing to leave
00:22:25.01\00:22:28.01
the second day now and
she was fixing me lunch
00:22:28.04\00:22:31.85
and she and her
mother were chatting about
00:22:31.88\00:22:35.65
what was going on.
00:22:35.68\00:22:37.02
While I was fixing lunch,
my mom was fixing the lunch,
00:22:37.05\00:22:43.46
she came by and whispered,
00:22:43.49\00:22:45.16
"Put a little
letter in his lunch"
00:22:45.19\00:22:47.76
Oh, she's too
much, she's too much!
00:22:47.80\00:22:50.33
She got everybody involved...
00:22:50.37\00:22:51.70
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:51.73\00:22:54.04
That he would read on his way
home while traveling, you know.
00:22:54.07\00:22:58.14
So she took me to the bus stop
and I was preparing to leave
00:22:58.17\00:23:02.21
we had about a
30-minute to an hour wait
00:23:02.24\00:23:06.38
for the bus to get going
00:23:06.41\00:23:07.85
and I sat there
and looked at her.
00:23:07.88\00:23:10.49
I could feel him
staring at me, I just felt it,
00:23:10.52\00:23:13.76
I said, "Stop looking at me. "
00:23:13.79\00:23:15.16
You were slaying... you
were slaying, I love it.
00:23:15.19\00:23:18.16
So what happened at the bus?
00:23:18.19\00:23:19.66
The next words
out of my mouth were,
00:23:19.69\00:23:22.86
"Would you be
willing to marry me?"
00:23:22.90\00:23:26.03
And you had just gotten
together for the first date?
00:23:26.07\00:23:29.50
This was the second time.
00:23:29.54\00:23:31.61
And my answer was, "Yes. "
00:23:31.67\00:23:33.68
Oh! now, would you
recommend that to other people?
00:23:33.71\00:23:38.91
No... no...
00:23:38.95\00:23:41.85
Well, you see, it's...
00:23:41.88\00:23:43.22
we can't go into
that at this time
00:23:43.25\00:23:44.95
but God's in charge,
00:23:45.02\00:23:46.35
you have to allow Him to do
what He does and you will know.
00:23:46.39\00:23:51.43
And you knew that
it was a "God thing. "
00:23:51.46\00:23:53.90
I knew, yeah... right.
00:23:53.93\00:23:55.26
So, that brings us to what
you've done with this book,
00:23:55.30\00:23:58.60
tell us about the book that's
coming out, this devotional...
00:23:58.63\00:24:01.24
and what kinds of things
you're going to talk about.
00:24:01.30\00:24:04.77
Well, quickly... our children
gave us a big celebration
00:24:04.81\00:24:08.24
for our 50th
Anniversary and out of that,
00:24:08.28\00:24:12.25
our daughter
created a little bookmark
00:24:12.28\00:24:16.15
with 50 tips on
becoming a professional lover.
00:24:16.18\00:24:22.22
Give us a few of
those tips real quick.
00:24:22.26\00:24:26.16
One was, to
follow God's pattern...
00:24:26.19\00:24:29.83
Okay.
00:24:29.86\00:24:31.20
the other was "A woman
needs to know how a man thinks"
00:24:31.23\00:24:36.60
"A man needs to
know how a woman thinks"
00:24:36.64\00:24:40.08
I don't have the
bookmark in front of me.
00:24:40.11\00:24:43.45
I have the... well,
from the book itself,
00:24:43.48\00:24:46.45
you have: Pattern your love
after Christ and His church,
00:24:46.51\00:24:49.85
structure your love
around all the principles
00:24:49.88\00:24:52.59
of 1st Corinthians 13,
doing things God's way,
00:24:52.62\00:24:55.29
love is a
commitment not a feeling,
00:24:55.32\00:24:57.19
choose to be happy,
00:24:57.23\00:24:58.56
so each of
these... is like a week.
00:24:58.59\00:25:01.73
Yeah, one a
week, and the idea is,
00:25:01.76\00:25:04.83
you read your
information for that week,
00:25:04.87\00:25:07.07
then you have some
work to do for that week,
00:25:07.10\00:25:09.24
you and your spouse will
work on these things together
00:25:09.27\00:25:11.81
for the week by trial and error,
00:25:11.84\00:25:15.04
And remember
that love is not love
00:25:15.08\00:25:18.21
until the loved one says so.
00:25:18.25\00:25:20.75
Hmmm...
00:25:20.78\00:25:22.18
People think
they're loving one another
00:25:22.22\00:25:24.19
but they're really doing
it their way, their style...
00:25:24.25\00:25:27.82
Their perception of
love and that's quite natural
00:25:27.86\00:25:30.83
but we're learning now
how to love professionally.
00:25:30.86\00:25:33.76
All right, all right.
00:25:33.80\00:25:35.13
That's the difference.
00:25:35.16\00:25:36.50
All right... and let's
put your website up too
00:25:36.53\00:25:37.87
so that we have that website
it's going to be on the screen
00:25:37.90\00:25:41.10
so that people can
go to that and find out
00:25:41.14\00:25:43.54
and doing Webinars as
well, because traveling is a lot
00:25:43.57\00:25:48.01
but now people can just
call in and have a Webinar,
00:25:48.04\00:25:52.48
tell us a little
bit about the Webinar,
00:25:52.51\00:25:54.72
what are you going to
talk about during the Webinar.
00:25:54.75\00:25:57.39
The kinds of things
that are on the bookmark
00:25:57.42\00:26:00.09
and one a week...
one a month and...
00:26:00.12\00:26:05.33
The point is to have
people have an opportunity
00:26:05.36\00:26:09.80
to interact with us, to
gain from our experience
00:26:09.86\00:26:14.27
or we'll gain
from theirs, you know,
00:26:14.30\00:26:16.50
you're always learning,
you never reach the top
00:26:16.54\00:26:19.64
you're always
climbing toward the top
00:26:19.67\00:26:22.11
that's got us at
the top as a Leader.
00:26:22.14\00:26:24.51
And this 50 years of
marriage also includes
00:26:24.55\00:26:28.78
over 40 years of
teaching "Marriage and Family"
00:26:28.82\00:26:32.39
at the Oakwood University
00:26:32.42\00:26:34.89
and Seminars
all over the Country
00:26:34.92\00:26:39.46
and throughout the Caribbean.
00:26:39.49\00:26:41.00
So with the Webinars,
we'll be able to do it
00:26:41.03\00:26:45.10
without the traveling.
00:26:45.13\00:26:48.40
And I'm a Cancer
survivor, going to my third year
00:26:48.44\00:26:52.64
wondering what I'm going to do
00:26:52.67\00:26:55.44
and my children said to me,
00:26:55.51\00:26:58.11
"Why not revive your work,
00:26:58.15\00:27:00.58
you've been
teaching new Seminars
00:27:00.62\00:27:05.45
for over 40 years
00:27:05.49\00:27:08.46
get back to work... "
00:27:08.49\00:27:11.39
And you can do
it right from there.
00:27:11.43\00:27:13.86
I mean, that's awesome.
00:27:13.90\00:27:15.66
"Get back to work, you
don't have to travel anymore. "
00:27:15.70\00:27:17.73
Will you come back
when you've done the book?
00:27:17.77\00:27:21.07
Oh, we'd be
delighted to come back,
00:27:21.10\00:27:23.44
my son will drive us,
if Al will drive us back.
00:27:23.47\00:27:26.31
That would be so wonderful
00:27:26.34\00:27:30.01
and if you want to get
touch with the Thomases,
00:27:30.05\00:27:32.08
go to their website,
TheProfessionalLover. net
00:27:32.11\00:27:34.12
check it out, find out...
there are going to be a lot of
00:27:34.15\00:27:36.15
holiday-specific
types of Webinars,
00:27:36.18\00:27:38.99
so check that... that Website,
00:27:39.02\00:27:41.72
go there and
check out their love...
00:27:41.76\00:27:45.59
be a professional lover.
00:27:45.63\00:27:47.40
I love that, I
think that is too cute,
00:27:47.46\00:27:50.17
I love that,
00:27:50.20\00:27:51.53
thank you so much
for being with us.
00:27:51.57\00:27:53.13
Thank you. Thank
you for having us come.
00:27:53.17\00:27:54.94
And thank you so
much for tuning in
00:27:54.97\00:27:56.84
we're so blessed
that you're here,
00:27:56.91\00:27:58.67
make sure you tune in next
time because you know what?
00:27:58.71\00:28:01.28
It just wouldn't be
the same without you.
00:28:01.31\00:28:03.71