Stay tuned to meet a couple
whose lives have been redeemed
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by the Power of God.
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My name is Yvonne Lewis
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and you're
watching Urban Report.
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Hello and
welcome to Urban Report.
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My guests today are
Xavier and Britanny Morales
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Panelists on D2D's
Program, Pure Choices,
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I went to their Set
to get their stories,
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take a peak...
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I'm so blessed to be here
on the Set of Pure Choices
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with two of the Panelists
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of one of my favorite
programs, Pure Choices.
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Xavier Morales and
Britanny Hill-Morales,
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welcome to Urban
Report on Pure Choices' Set.
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You both...
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have done a wonderful job,
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you've been on
Pure Choices for a while
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Britanny, you've been
on for... how many Seasons?
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This will be my third...
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we just finished
up our third Season.
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And you Xavier?
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This is my second Season.
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It's so great to have you,
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one of the things that I love
is to have married couples on...
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young married couples who
have been through struggles
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and God has
given you the victory
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and you both had a
very interesting courtship
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because, so many times
when people are courting,
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they fall into sexual sin,
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you guys were able to be
celibate during your courtship,
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praise God, how did you do that?
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Oh wow!
interesting... it was a struggle
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because we had to
learn what boundaries to set
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we had to have...
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like a no-kissing
clause in our relationship
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because we knew
how it would, I guess,
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get us more
interested or more wound up
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and want each other more,
so we had to set boundaries
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set certain timeframes
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for how long we'd
be around each other
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and how late we'd
be around each other
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and there was a
period when people thought
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maybe I didn't like kissing
or he didn't like kissing
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we're like, "No, we
just know each other
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and we're trying to
have a certain framework. "
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Yeah, I think it
was difficult for us too
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because of our
pasts, our different pasts,
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we wished... my
past and everything,
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you had to, we just
prayed and asked God
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about... individually...
individually, collectively
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we prayed asking
God, "What should we do,
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because not everything
that pertains to somebody
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might pertain to us,
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something might be a
stumbling block for them
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but it's not for
us and vice versa
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Hmmm... hmmm... so we
really had to hold down
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and sit down and both of
us communicated as to the
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boundaries to make sure
that we were one accord..
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Definitely. So,
what you're telling me
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is that you were
intentional about it.
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Hmmm... hmmm...
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It wasn't
something that you said,
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"I just want to do this... "
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no, you sought
God on how to do it,
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and then, God gave you
the insight to set boundaries,
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to set places that you
would go and wouldn't go
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in your relationship, I
think this is so important
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for young and old to
hear because it's so easy
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to fall into that
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and as we talk about
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or you guys talk
about on Pure Choices,
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you have to be intentional,
you have to seek God
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and you have to know
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that I'm not going
to do certain things
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because it's not part of
God's perfect plan for me.
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Hmmm... hmmm...
Yeah, and partially also,
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I had to do a prayer saying,
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"God, I'm attracted to
this person in this way,
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dear Lord, hide my
desires, take it away
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until our wedding day,
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dear Lord, kind of,
put on a control, like...
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make me not want him
at all, just remove it"
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and I had to do
that prayer like...
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over and over and over
again until one day I was like,
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"Okay, I can be
around you, it's all right. "
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It's kind of
neat too, like, for me
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as, you have to be self-aware
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and I know it sounds funny
talking about her sometimes
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but, like in my
family, on my Dad's side,
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we have a testosterone
issue where we overproduce
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and overproducing
testosterone you know like,
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you get that instinct
that urge and everything
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so it's hard,
it's very difficult,
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so you really, you know,
and again it sounds funny
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but it does
pertain to me and it worked
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I exercised a lot, I
did many different things
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and prayed and just asked God
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because I
generally wanted to show
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my future spouse that respect
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to her that she deserved.
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Even though it was difficult
at times because you know
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you're human,
that flesh kicks in
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you really want to be
conscientious of respecting
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and really, really, really
putting God in the middle.
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Look at, you know, for
me, I'm so impressed by this
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because, what
you're saying is that
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you even fought
your own physiology
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Hmmm... hmmm...
because there is that
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excessive testosterone,
it's a hormonal thing,
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you even, were
able, by the grace of God
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to subdue the
flesh, both of you,
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subdue the flesh and you said
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you wanted to respect her
and how beautiful is that?
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You wanted to
respect your future wife
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and you were
respecting your future husband.
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How do you think that
what you did in courtship
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impacted your marriage?
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Oooh, I think it
made our marriage better
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How?
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because we valued each other
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and for me what
was most important
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is valuing his
relationship with God
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I didn't want to
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be that
hindrance... that block...
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that caused him to stumble
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and not stay connected to Christ
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so because that
principle was there,
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before we got married,
it went into our marriage
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and that allowed us to say,
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"Okay God, what
do you want us to do,
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even now that we're married,
how... we keep Him first,
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so that was so crucial
that because we did that before,
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and we had that mindset,
it just allowed it to flow
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and it felt like our marriage
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was just taking
its natural course
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it seemed like it was
like a natural transition
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like for some
people, it's harder because
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you know, one
moment... you're not married
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and the next
moment... it just seemed natural
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it seemed like it was
just a perfect timing.
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I think, for me,
because again, my past,
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what I've been
through, I'd never taken my time
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and this forced
me to take my time
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and actually I was
enjoying it, you know,
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I got to see... I
got to build a friendship
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because my parents...
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they had been
married for 39 years,
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and they were going to
get divorced for a while,
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and I asked them
what was their secret
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and they said,
they were friends first,
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and for us, it's
like, we established
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a really strong
friendship foundation first,
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to really just
get to know each other
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and go with eyes wide open
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to other red flags
and things like that
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and also deal with our baggage,
because everybody brings baggage
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so really deal with our baggage
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before we got into the marriage.
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Hmmm... hmmm...
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That is so beautiful,
see, I want our Viewers to know
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that if they're
in a relationship,
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that is including sex
and they're not married yet
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and they're...
they're fornicating,
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that God can
deliver you from that,
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then you can stop, you
have to be equally yoked,
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so that your partner understands
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and wants to also
stop and do the right thing
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and you can, if
you have God in the mix
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at the center of a
relationship, you can stop
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and if you haven't
started, don't start,
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let God lead and
follow this example
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of being intentional and praying
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and asking God for the strength
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and it makes no sense for
God to withhold that from you
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if you ask Him for it.
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Definitely. Let's
talk a little bit about
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the baggage that you mentioned
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what did you... let's
hear a little bit about
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your testimonies,
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Britanny, tell us
where you came from
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and some of the
challenges that you had
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that made you a good
panelist for Pure Choices?
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Some of the... wow...
I guess it even started
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when I was a baby, not
really knowing my father
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my mom says he was always around
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but for me it
didn't seem that way
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and then when I was
four I viewed my first...
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it wasn't really a
pornographic movie,
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my Grandma was
just watching something
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and had a scene in
it, and from that moment
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like something was in
my head, like... for years,
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I think only now I
can say, I can firmly say,
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I don't remember it,
but for all those years,
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I could always
replay who was in it,
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what they were
doing, what place they were,
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and it just kept on progressing,
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and when I was
about six years old,
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a girl in my class
starting... was doing
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the exact thing that
was in the movie to me...
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and that... I had
no idea what this was,
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it was doing
something to my body
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and I had no idea
and I started acting out
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in sexual ways, I
didn't know it was sexual
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but I also knew I
shouldn't show my parents this
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so I was acting very...
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kind of like... a
little bit seductively
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and they didn't
really understand why
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and then as time progressed,
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I think I was
around eight or nine,
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more girls,
they... one day said,
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"Hey, let's just have some fun"
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I had no idea
what this "fun" was,
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we started seeing
videos on the computer,
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I had no idea
what this really is,
00:09:58.59\00:10:01.16
I knew it had to stay hidden,
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but I didn't know what it
really was until I was eleven,
00:10:03.20\00:10:08.47
and we did... in our school,
00:10:08.50\00:10:11.61
when you turned Grade
Six, they give you books,
00:10:11.64\00:10:13.64
they give you information,
they tell you about your body
00:10:13.68\00:10:16.71
and I was like, "Oh,
that's what that was"
00:10:16.75\00:10:19.21
but I thought it was okay
because it wasn't with a guy
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and it was okay
because I wasn't actually doing
00:10:22.85\00:10:26.92
hardcore stuff,
I was just looking,
00:10:26.96\00:10:29.16
I was just talking
to people, "it's okay"
00:10:29.19\00:10:32.43
I had no idea that
I was damaging myself
00:10:32.49\00:10:35.70
but I was so accustomed to it
00:10:35.73\00:10:38.60
that by the time I was 13 or 14,
00:10:38.63\00:10:41.44
and my uncle came
and he lived with us,
00:10:41.47\00:10:43.44
he was abusive in
how he spoke to me
00:10:43.47\00:10:45.81
and how he treated me,
00:10:45.84\00:10:47.58
he was my
favorite uncle for years,
00:10:47.64\00:10:49.34
and it was such a
switch to feel such...
00:10:49.38\00:10:52.25
like he clearly
told people he hated me
00:10:52.28\00:10:55.68
and it was so
hurtful, I felt so rejected
00:10:55.72\00:10:59.05
that I was
always hiding in my room
00:10:59.12\00:11:01.72
and because I was
hiding in my room,
00:11:01.76\00:11:04.33
I was watching pornography.
00:11:04.36\00:11:06.46
How old were you at this point?
00:11:06.49\00:11:08.56
Fourteen... thirteen...
I was hiding in my room
00:11:08.60\00:11:11.67
and probably my
parents just thought,
00:11:11.70\00:11:14.44
"Oh, she's just
there doing, you know,
00:11:14.47\00:11:16.44
whatever stuff
doing her schoolwork"
00:11:16.47\00:11:18.41
because I was
really a good student,
00:11:18.44\00:11:19.77
if you can go back a little bit,
00:11:19.81\00:11:22.58
that's kind of part
of my testimony too,
00:11:22.64\00:11:24.51
before I was a good
student and then I got baptized
00:11:24.55\00:11:27.98
and God
increased my intelligence
00:11:28.02\00:11:30.05
and I became First in my Class,
00:11:30.09\00:11:32.05
I was in the Top Ten in
the whole island of Antigua,
00:11:32.09\00:11:34.96
and God really increased it
00:11:34.99\00:11:36.56
but when this
abuse was happening
00:11:36.59\00:11:38.73
all these different
things were going on
00:11:38.76\00:11:40.66
and I was watching pornography,
sacrificing my schoolwork,
00:11:40.70\00:11:44.20
I kind of fell in my
academics and it was just
00:11:44.23\00:11:50.54
so crazy how
00:11:50.57\00:11:52.04
I started
talking to people online,
00:11:52.07\00:11:55.38
I wasn't sending them
any pictures of myself,
00:11:55.41\00:11:58.01
no video, no
nothing, but they were like...
00:11:58.05\00:12:00.72
I was like
sexting over the incident,
00:12:00.75\00:12:04.09
they were telling me what to do
00:12:04.19\00:12:05.59
and I was telling
them their responses,
00:12:05.62\00:12:07.56
and it was that
type of conversation
00:12:07.66\00:12:09.49
and then it turned
into more cyber sexting
00:12:09.52\00:12:11.66
and that's just what I was doing
00:12:11.69\00:12:14.30
to deal with
this abuse, hide away
00:12:14.30\00:12:16.87
and try to be okay.
00:12:16.93\00:12:18.97
Wow! that is so...
so, at what point did you
00:12:19.00\00:12:24.27
realize that, "Wait,
I'm being abused here"
00:12:24.31\00:12:28.64
did you ever realize
that this is not okay
00:12:28.68\00:12:33.05
there's something wrong here
00:12:33.08\00:12:34.52
and was it just verbal abuse
or did it become sexual abuse?
00:12:34.55\00:12:37.99
It was never
sexual, it was always verbal
00:12:38.02\00:12:41.49
and there were a few
cases where it was physical
00:12:41.52\00:12:44.29
where, if I was in the way,
00:12:44.33\00:12:46.33
I was being
pushed out of the way,
00:12:46.36\00:12:47.93
and if I was in the kitchen,
00:12:47.96\00:12:49.70
and I left like,
maybe just a fork,
00:12:49.73\00:12:51.43
"Oh why did you leave the
fork here, you're so nasty,
00:12:51.47\00:12:54.80
you're so this... " and
mainly if I was in the way,
00:12:54.87\00:12:58.07
I got the fridge
slammed on my hand
00:12:58.11\00:13:00.61
and because I was in the way
00:13:00.68\00:13:02.01
and it started
causing this tension
00:13:02.04\00:13:04.41
between my mom and her brother,
00:13:04.48\00:13:07.05
where there was a point
where he came in with a cutlass,
00:13:07.12\00:13:11.22
my mom pulled out her knife
and it seemed, for a moment,
00:13:11.25\00:13:14.66
there was going to be a...
like a really bloody fight,
00:13:14.69\00:13:18.06
and the police had
to... my mom and I...
00:13:18.09\00:13:20.40
my mom didn't do anything,
00:13:20.43\00:13:21.73
she said, "Honey get
dressed" we jumped in the car,
00:13:21.76\00:13:23.83
got the police, came back,
00:13:23.87\00:13:25.80
but because it
didn't escalate I guess,
00:13:25.83\00:13:29.24
to the way that they thought
it should have escalated,
00:13:29.27\00:13:31.21
they took him away, and I cried
00:13:31.24\00:13:33.94
but I was happy, but
then they brought him back
00:13:33.98\00:13:36.95
and in that
moment, my mom was like,
00:13:37.01\00:13:43.59
"We can't stay here anymore"
00:13:43.65\00:13:45.02
she was taking
care of my Grandma
00:13:45.05\00:13:46.39
she's like, "We
can't stay here anymore"
00:13:46.42\00:13:48.56
so, she had a land
00:13:48.59\00:13:50.63
and she started
building her house
00:13:50.69\00:13:52.03
and we moved out.
00:13:52.06\00:13:53.40
So, I knew it wasn't okay,
00:13:53.46\00:13:57.33
but that was also
my Grandma's favorite
00:13:57.40\00:13:59.27
so I know, he was
her only one and baby boy
00:13:59.30\00:14:01.74
so it was like,
00:14:01.77\00:14:03.61
"Okay, so I'm just
going to go to church,
00:14:03.64\00:14:05.17
smile, be happy,
get really active,
00:14:05.21\00:14:08.04
go to school, be really
active, be really happy,
00:14:08.08\00:14:11.88
and also because of
who my parents were,
00:14:11.91\00:14:15.35
I didn't really want anyone else
00:14:15.38\00:14:17.19
to really know what
was really happening
00:14:17.22\00:14:19.35
because I didn't want
them to look bad also.
00:14:19.39\00:14:21.49
Because your parents were
very prominent on the island?
00:14:21.56\00:14:24.73
Yes, they were, and
I didn't want anyone
00:14:24.76\00:14:27.66
to look down on our family,
00:14:27.73\00:14:29.03
so even though all of
these things were happening,
00:14:29.06\00:14:32.10
I said, I'm going to
make sure that people see us
00:14:32.13\00:14:35.17
as this great family,
00:14:35.20\00:14:36.91
Britanny is
this wonderful person
00:14:36.97\00:14:39.21
she was in the
Top Ten on the Island,
00:14:39.24\00:14:41.98
she was doing so
much things at church,
00:14:42.01\00:14:44.61
she's a singer, she
can probably preach,
00:14:44.65\00:14:47.18
she could get active, she
was Pathfinder of the Year,
00:14:47.22\00:14:49.92
she can do all
these different things
00:14:49.95\00:14:51.65
everything is great with
her, she's down-to-earth,
00:14:51.69\00:14:53.62
the guys think she's really cool
00:14:53.66\00:14:55.16
the girls think,
"Oh, she's nice too"
00:14:55.19\00:14:57.99
but I was hurting so much inside
00:14:58.03\00:15:00.83
that my place to
go to was pornography
00:15:00.86\00:15:03.26
and to be there and to,
what I thought was like,
00:15:03.37\00:15:07.17
coping with everything.
00:15:07.24\00:15:08.67
What impact does
pornography have on your spirit?
00:15:08.70\00:15:14.18
It makes you feel dirty,
00:15:14.21\00:15:18.41
it makes you wonder
what's wrong with you,
00:15:18.45\00:15:23.69
especially as a woman
00:15:23.72\00:15:25.49
because it's stated
that women don't really have
00:15:25.52\00:15:28.56
those sexual
desires so you're wondering,
00:15:28.59\00:15:31.83
"What's wrong with me, or,
00:15:31.86\00:15:33.19
maybe it's okay because
I'm not going all the way
00:15:33.23\00:15:35.73
so you start like trying
to rationalize it in your mind
00:15:35.76\00:15:39.63
but I think only as I got older
00:15:39.67\00:15:43.14
I realized how it
really truly affected me
00:15:43.17\00:15:45.81
where I'm looking around
and I'm looking at couples
00:15:45.87\00:15:48.68
and I'm wondering what
do they look like in bed,
00:15:48.71\00:15:51.51
that shouldn't even
be a thought in my mind
00:15:51.55\00:15:53.78
but I'm looking at people
and instead of hearing a sermon,
00:15:53.82\00:15:56.85
I'm wondering about this person,
00:15:56.89\00:15:58.49
and even started just hearing
a person saying, "I'm wondering"
00:15:58.52\00:16:01.96
so it kind of has that
00:16:01.99\00:16:03.76
hindrance on because
00:16:03.79\00:16:05.13
you can't fully
function in the way
00:16:05.16\00:16:07.60
that you're
supposed to fully function.
00:16:07.66\00:16:09.00
Very interesting, see I...
00:16:09.03\00:16:12.23
there are so many
young people, Britanny,
00:16:12.27\00:16:15.70
who are dealing
with similar situations
00:16:15.77\00:16:19.17
as far as
having drifted off into
00:16:19.21\00:16:22.38
pornography and also
having to keep up appearances
00:16:22.41\00:16:27.72
things are
going terribly at home
00:16:27.75\00:16:30.02
and yet, I've got to
act like it's all good,
00:16:30.09\00:16:33.76
and I've got to
put up that front
00:16:33.79\00:16:35.86
and so, if you don't have
anybody to talk to about it
00:16:35.89\00:16:40.20
and if your relationship
with Christ isn't...
00:16:40.23\00:16:42.13
if you're not centered in Him,
00:16:42.16\00:16:44.03
which, if you
were centered in Him,
00:16:44.07\00:16:45.57
you wouldn't
have the other issues
00:16:45.60\00:16:47.10
going on right... but if...
00:16:47.14\00:16:48.64
once you get centered
in Him, those issues can,
00:16:48.67\00:16:53.74
just kind of dissolve,
so how did you find Christ
00:16:53.78\00:16:58.68
and then I'm going
to talk to Xavier a bit.
00:16:58.75\00:17:00.65
The interesting thing is
Christ was always there with me
00:17:00.68\00:17:06.39
I was building a
relationship with Him
00:17:06.42\00:17:10.46
and kind of how
that kind of started was
00:17:10.49\00:17:14.36
I was suicidal for a
moment, and my friend told me
00:17:14.40\00:17:17.67
that if I get in
really, really good with God,
00:17:17.70\00:17:20.94
and I do it, then
I'll still be okay.
00:17:20.97\00:17:23.61
That was kind of the
philosophy, so I was like,
00:17:23.64\00:17:25.94
okay, I can get
really, really good with God,
00:17:26.01\00:17:28.14
and then when things
are really, really crazy
00:17:28.18\00:17:30.25
and I can't handle it
anymore, He'll still accept me
00:17:30.28\00:17:32.58
because I did this,
so there was that period
00:17:32.61\00:17:36.48
but as I was
getting to know God,
00:17:36.55\00:17:39.15
I was getting
to know God, Right.
00:17:39.19\00:17:41.72
and He was just comforting me
through the different situations
00:17:41.79\00:17:48.20
so... but I think what
most people don't understand
00:17:48.23\00:17:51.37
about porn addiction is
how it affects your mind
00:17:51.40\00:17:54.54
and how it's really a struggle
00:17:54.57\00:17:58.87
so even though I'm
in love with Christ,
00:17:58.91\00:18:02.98
I love Him, I'm
spending this time with Him,
00:18:03.01\00:18:05.21
I'm also fighting against myself
00:18:05.25\00:18:07.35
because sex is
something that's supposed to...
00:18:07.38\00:18:10.15
your sexuality is
natural but now it's perverted
00:18:10.22\00:18:12.92
to now, because I
don't have anyone to talk to,
00:18:12.95\00:18:15.66
I can't really tell anyone,
00:18:15.69\00:18:17.86
I'm trying to
figure out on my own
00:18:17.89\00:18:19.83
how do I figure out
00:18:19.86\00:18:22.43
the right form of
sexuality for myself,
00:18:22.46\00:18:25.67
and I've also
deluded myself into thinking
00:18:25.70\00:18:28.77
I can stop anytime,
so that was my period
00:18:28.80\00:18:31.81
I can stop
anytime, so, I stopped
00:18:31.84\00:18:34.48
and then for some
reason, three weeks later,
00:18:34.51\00:18:37.25
something happens and
I'm right back with it,
00:18:37.28\00:18:40.02
like... "Why am I
right back with it,
00:18:40.05\00:18:42.05
why did I just watch
this, what happened in my mind
00:18:42.08\00:18:46.59
to make me go straight
back?" and as time progressed,
00:18:46.62\00:18:50.73
I'd say Christ was my
own... He did a "rehab" with me
00:18:50.76\00:18:54.46
where He showed me all
the things that I repressed,
00:18:54.46\00:18:58.17
the abuse that happened
to me when I was a child
00:18:58.20\00:19:01.90
how I didn't
really think about it
00:19:01.94\00:19:03.74
and I tossed it to the
side, the issues with my father,
00:19:03.77\00:19:07.11
and how I felt like
he should have rescued me
00:19:07.14\00:19:10.88
through the abuse and how
I felt like he wasn't there
00:19:10.91\00:19:14.42
and He took me
through that process
00:19:14.45\00:19:17.05
where... and also He was
like, "Fall in love with me,
00:19:17.12\00:19:20.29
don't worry about, you know,
00:19:20.32\00:19:22.12
when you
stumble or when you fall
00:19:22.16\00:19:23.49
fall in love with
me, focus on that first,
00:19:23.56\00:19:25.59
and I was like,
"Okay, but I'm falling... "
00:19:25.63\00:19:27.66
but, "No, no, no,
focus on that first"
00:19:27.66\00:19:29.53
focus on my grace, and
I'm so grateful for that
00:19:29.56\00:19:33.47
because when I
truly was able to accept
00:19:33.54\00:19:37.21
that God loves me, for me,
00:19:37.24\00:19:41.24
He wants me and
because of that love
00:19:41.28\00:19:45.48
I grew for Him back,
00:19:45.51\00:19:47.32
it was a lot easier to say,
00:19:47.35\00:19:49.38
"I'm not going to
watch pornography right now"
00:19:49.42\00:19:51.65
yes, I really didn't want
to, my mind has all these sharps
00:19:51.69\00:19:54.36
"I'm not going to watch it
because it's going to hurt Him"
00:19:54.39\00:19:57.03
I had to truly learn
how to trust and love Him
00:19:57.06\00:20:00.50
so I was like, "Okay God,
00:20:00.53\00:20:01.83
I guess you did
have a perfect purpose
00:20:01.86\00:20:03.93
for you wanting me
to focus on you first,
00:20:03.97\00:20:06.00
instead of trying to
struggle with this on my own. "
00:20:06.07\00:20:09.70
That is so beautiful
because it's the grace of God
00:20:09.74\00:20:13.38
that leads us to Him,
00:20:13.44\00:20:16.34
it's the grace of
God that sustains us
00:20:16.38\00:20:18.65
that keeps us from going
back, falling back into it
00:20:18.71\00:20:23.55
because you... you love Him now
00:20:23.59\00:20:25.52
and you don't want to hurt
Him, that is so, so, so true
00:20:25.59\00:20:30.69
and so
beautiful. Hmmm... Hmmm...
00:20:30.73\00:20:32.23
What about you Xavier,
just give us like a synopsis
00:20:32.26\00:20:36.40
of your testimony
for those who never saw
00:20:36.43\00:20:38.33
that other Urban Report
where I interviewed you.
00:20:38.37\00:20:41.07
Sure, I grew up in the church
00:20:41.10\00:20:42.77
and did what every good
Adventist kid is supposed to do
00:20:42.80\00:20:46.04
vegetarian and
everything... the works...
00:20:46.07\00:20:47.64
I was a spick-and-span Christian
Pathfinders... all that,
00:20:47.68\00:20:51.31
through a series of
events in my early teens
00:20:51.35\00:20:55.08
I left the church,
along with my family and I
00:20:55.12\00:20:58.82
both... all three
of us left the church
00:20:58.85\00:21:01.52
and I sought out
rescue through Satanism
00:21:01.56\00:21:04.03
because I was a short, pudgy kid
00:21:04.06\00:21:07.10
that no girl wanted
00:21:07.13\00:21:08.86
so, in a mixture
between anger and hurt,
00:21:08.90\00:21:12.10
I just sought
out... I knew he existed...
00:21:12.13\00:21:15.27
I knew God existed, so
I knew the devil existed,
00:21:15.30\00:21:17.27
but God wasn't
giving me what I wanted so
00:21:17.31\00:21:19.51
I sought it out from elsewhere.
00:21:19.54\00:21:20.88
What did you want?
00:21:20.94\00:21:23.61
I wanted money, power
and girls, I mean, I was just
00:21:23.65\00:21:27.02
I didn't want to be
that short, pudgy kid
00:21:27.08\00:21:29.15
and then the
transformation began,
00:21:29.22\00:21:31.52
I wanted revenge, I wanted...
00:21:31.55\00:21:33.32
I didn't want sex, I
wanted to humiliate women,
00:21:33.36\00:21:37.13
I wanted to make
them pay, you know,
00:21:37.19\00:21:39.39
make them cry, like,
entice them and reel them in
00:21:39.43\00:21:42.33
and then, watch them cry
00:21:42.36\00:21:44.20
because I wasn't
that committed guy
00:21:44.23\00:21:46.23
I was just using them,
00:21:46.30\00:21:47.64
it was more
sadistic than anything else
00:21:47.67\00:21:50.54
and after that
00:21:50.57\00:21:52.27
in my 20s, I tried to be there
00:21:52.31\00:21:55.14
you know, tried to
come back and be good
00:21:55.18\00:21:57.38
and do the right thing, I
became a Police Officer too
00:21:57.41\00:22:00.62
and as a means to try to help
00:22:00.65\00:22:03.69
but the devil... I was
still with him, you know,
00:22:03.72\00:22:06.32
there was just no clear mind
00:22:06.35\00:22:09.02
I tried to commit
suicide with my gun
00:22:09.06\00:22:11.99
which obviously I'm
here so it never fired.
00:22:12.06\00:22:14.83
We're thankful for that.
00:22:14.83\00:22:17.17
So, it was
crazy but that baggage
00:22:17.23\00:22:21.04
and getting out
was... I ended up in jail,
00:22:21.07\00:22:24.27
that's where I met God
and then I got re-baptized
00:22:24.31\00:22:27.78
I started going back to church
00:22:27.81\00:22:29.48
after that I told God
I'd give Him one more try
00:22:29.51\00:22:33.01
and He revealed
Himself in various ways
00:22:33.05\00:22:36.28
and I just
established a relationship
00:22:36.32\00:22:38.69
the relationship
that I didn't have
00:22:38.72\00:22:40.96
I established a
relationship with Him
00:22:40.99\00:22:43.19
I didn't want to just
go through the motions
00:22:43.22\00:22:46.09
I wanted to be a
Christian for Him
00:22:46.13\00:22:48.10
not perfect, but I
was going to do better
00:22:48.13\00:22:50.33
than I did when I was a kid
00:22:50.40\00:22:51.73
and that's where... I
had watched pornography
00:22:51.77\00:22:55.40
during that time, even
when I became a Christian
00:22:55.44\00:22:59.01
I was still addicted,
that was a big show for me
00:22:59.04\00:23:02.64
it had a hold on
me that was just...
00:23:02.68\00:23:04.58
I gave up
alcohol, I gave up smoking,
00:23:04.61\00:23:06.61
but pornography
just had a hold on me
00:23:06.65\00:23:08.58
that would just not let
go, and I went through marriage
00:23:08.62\00:23:12.99
and divorce and it was just bad
00:23:13.02\00:23:15.72
I was so broken, I
have a little girl,
00:23:15.79\00:23:20.33
she's three years
old, I love her to death,
00:23:20.40\00:23:22.76
and God just asked me,
00:23:22.80\00:23:25.63
"Would you allow her to
marry somebody like you?"
00:23:25.67\00:23:28.24
and I said, "No God, help me"
00:23:28.27\00:23:30.47
and through a series
of events He helped me
00:23:30.51\00:23:33.74
he continued to help
me, I went to counseling,
00:23:33.78\00:23:37.01
I did everything...
every tool that God provided
00:23:37.05\00:23:40.18
I reached and used to be better
00:23:40.22\00:23:43.35
be different, and
really get in tune with God
00:23:43.75\00:23:48.26
and... not to be perfect but
00:23:48.29\00:23:50.03
to do better
than what I was doing
00:23:50.09\00:23:51.86
and that's when
God just really said,
00:23:51.93\00:23:53.66
"You know, I'm going to
keep helping you to grow"
00:23:53.70\00:23:56.46
and I'm totally different
now than what I was before.
00:23:56.53\00:23:59.30
Praise the Lord and look at you,
00:23:59.33\00:24:02.00
I mean, even the
way you're sitting
00:24:02.04\00:24:04.57
it's so precious, I
mean... you can tell...
00:24:04.61\00:24:07.74
sometimes you go to a restaurant
00:24:07.78\00:24:09.11
and you can tell,
00:24:09.14\00:24:10.48
who's been
married for a long time
00:24:10.55\00:24:11.88
and who's dating or
something, because the daters...
00:24:11.91\00:24:13.95
they're all looking into
each other's eyes and all that,
00:24:14.02\00:24:16.45
or if you look into
a car you can see...
00:24:16.48\00:24:20.16
like... if the people
are sitting at opposite ends,
00:24:20.19\00:24:22.92
they've probably
been married for years,
00:24:22.96\00:24:24.33
and if not... if
they're really into each other
00:24:24.36\00:24:26.90
they're sitting
closely, and you guys,
00:24:27.00\00:24:28.90
you have such great
stories, you have testimonies
00:24:28.93\00:24:34.97
rich testimonies
that show the powerful,
00:24:35.00\00:24:39.44
amazing
transforming ability of our God
00:24:39.47\00:24:43.91
and everybody has a testimony,
everybody has a story,
00:24:43.95\00:24:48.08
because our God has
shown Himself strong,
00:24:48.12\00:24:50.45
for all of us,
00:24:50.49\00:24:51.82
and so, I'm just so
grateful for what you have done
00:24:51.85\00:24:56.99
for what God has
done through you,
00:24:57.03\00:24:59.56
tell us what you're
doing now, what are you doing?
00:24:59.59\00:25:03.23
Right now, I started learning
more about family life ministry,
00:25:03.30\00:25:09.40
and that is my
passion... Family Life Ministry
00:25:09.47\00:25:12.07
because I realize so much
about how things happened to me
00:25:12.11\00:25:15.84
because of family,
and how it really affects
00:25:15.88\00:25:18.45
your growth and development
and being part of Pure Choices
00:25:18.48\00:25:21.55
I love this ministry,
because God revealed to me
00:25:21.58\00:25:24.75
when I started Andrews,
00:25:24.79\00:25:26.15
that He wanted to use
my addiction, my recovery,
00:25:26.22\00:25:30.73
as a testimony to help others
who are struggling with it
00:25:30.76\00:25:34.56
so I am doing that,
but in my other community
00:25:34.60\00:25:37.33
where it is a
fill of Christian women
00:25:37.37\00:25:39.30
who are
struggling with addiction.
00:25:39.33\00:25:41.20
That's tremendous
and we thank you so much
00:25:41.24\00:25:45.11
for all that you're doing,
00:25:45.14\00:25:46.68
what about you, Xavier?
00:25:46.74\00:25:48.18
I'm working with the
Youth, the Youth Leader,
00:25:48.21\00:25:50.51
I'm also the Outreach Leader,
I'm in charge of Outreach so
00:25:50.55\00:25:53.48
doing a lot with the Community,
00:25:53.52\00:25:54.85
Police Chaplaincy,
doing my Ph. D. in Psychology,
00:25:54.88\00:25:57.79
and working with a
lot of areas of 3ABN.
00:25:57.82\00:26:01.89
And that's a blessing
you know God has a way
00:26:01.92\00:26:05.89
of just sending who we need
00:26:05.93\00:26:08.63
and He has sent you to us
00:26:08.66\00:26:11.33
and we love you
and we're so grateful
00:26:11.37\00:26:14.17
that you are a part of
our Pure Choices Family
00:26:14.24\00:26:17.21
and we expect that you
will be doing a lot more
00:26:17.24\00:26:20.18
in the future,
00:26:20.21\00:26:22.01
and thank you so much
for watching this Segment
00:26:22.08\00:26:26.61
we know that someone
is going to be blessed
00:26:26.65\00:26:31.19
as a result of
watching this interview
00:26:31.22\00:26:34.29
whatever you're struggling with
00:26:34.32\00:26:36.09
know that God has
the answer for you
00:26:36.12\00:26:39.36
there is hope,
there is deliverance
00:26:39.39\00:26:42.56
and healing in our God.
00:26:42.60\00:26:49.40
Wow! powerful stories,
00:26:49.44\00:26:52.67
well join us
next time and remember
00:26:52.71\00:26:54.74
it just wouldn't be
the same without you.
00:26:54.78\00:26:56.91