Stay tuned to meet one of
the most respected figures
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in American Education.
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My name is Yvonne
Lewis and you're watching
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Urban Report.
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Hello, and
welcome to Urban Report.
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My guest today
is Dr. James Comer,
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Professor of
Psychiatry at Yale University
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and author of
"Maggie's American Dream,"
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"What I Learned in School,"
"Raising Black Children,"
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and other scholarly works.
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Welcome to Urban
Report Dr. Comer...
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Thank you... good to be here...
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Yeah... I'm so happy
you're here you know,
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before I ask you about
education for our children,
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I just want to tell
you how impressed I was
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as I read your books,
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I just felt your authenticity,
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your compassion, your
desire to make a difference
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it's just so compelling,
so, I want to publicly thank you
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for your
diligence and hard work.
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Thank you so much.
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Well, thank you for
your kind compliments.
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Absolutely... absolutely...
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You know, it
seems to me as though
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you got your work
ethic from your mom
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and in your memoire,
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"Maggie's American Dream"
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you share a lot
about your mother, Maggie.
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Tell us about her and her
impact on you and your siblings.
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Well, it was mom and dad,
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my dad was just as
hardworking and dedicated,
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he died early, and
she really had to carry on
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but she was terrific
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and I would say that
I won the real lottery
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in having parents
that were so great.
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My mom was born
in rural Mississippi,
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Woodland, Mississippi and
she was one of 12 children
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and her father died...
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he was killed by lightening
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when she was 6 years of
age, and as a result of that
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a cruel stepfather
came into their lives
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and he was abusive in every way,
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and would not allow the
children to go to school,
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and he was just a difficult
man that they wanted to kill,
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she ran away when
she was 16 years of age,
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to East Chicago, Indiana,
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and told her sister there
that she wanted to go to school
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because she always felt
that education was the way
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but her sister wouldn't
allow her to go to school,
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and she had to drop out
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and she took a job
as a domestic worker
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and that she did... for 12
years until she married my dad
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and it was an
interesting story, you know,
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she ran away to
her sister's house
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and my father was
her Sunday School teacher
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and he was 12 years older,
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and nobody wanted
them to get married
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her family didn't want her
to get married but she did,
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and they were married for
12 years before we were born,
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and the two of them,
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my mother with
no real education,
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less than two
years of going to school,
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my father had about
6 years of education
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she worked as a Domestic,
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he worked as a Steel
Mill Laborer and Janitor,
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and the two of them
sent the 5 of us to college
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for a total of 13 degrees,
and so they sent that family,
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they gave us a family experience
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that really make that possible.
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You know, from the beginning,
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they would take
us out to the park
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and interact with us,
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and they always
believed in education,
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and they always believed...
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they believed
in the Country also
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because they believed
that if you worked hard,
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you could get
wherever you wanted to go,
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and so they prepared...
but the others did also
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that they had to
prepare us to work hard
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and so, everything they did,
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was to prepare us to
be successful in school
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and to be successful in life.
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That is so tremendous because
one of the things that I noticed
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from what you had
said about your mom,
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was that she... it was her story
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when she was giving... in
the first part of Maggie's book
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the book about
Maggie... Right...
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and she was telling
that she was a cook at 9
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for over 20 people,
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and so she
developed a strong work ethic
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your dad had a
strong work ethic,
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and they imparted that
to you, they imparted...
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even without education,
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they imparted a
standard of excellence,
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Right... so, what
you show, Dr. Jim,
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if I may call you Dr. Jim,
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what you show is that
you don't have to be educated
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to provide the
environment for your children
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to get an education.
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That's right, that's right,
when we were little children
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my mother... and I still think
she probably couldn't read,
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she was probably illiterate,
but she used to sit with us,
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every Sunday evening
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and read the Funnies...
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now, the Funnies
are not great literature
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but it was sitting with her
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and being close to her
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and her warmth and her
reading what she could to us,
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and that just
made learning important
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and the warmth and
the learning activity...
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that made it important,
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and that's the way they conveyed
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the importance
of learning to us.
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Yes, what I hear
you saying is that...
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there was a combined
activity here of the warmth,
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the emotional nurturing along
with the learning experience
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so the learning got
connected to the warmth
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and that created
that desire for learning
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in you and your
siblings. That's right.
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That's the motivating factor,
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if there's
anything we're missing
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today in what we do,
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we focus too much on
learning, on academics alone,
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in isolation and not
with the kind of environment
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the warm,
supportive environment,
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we have to give
children to help motivate them
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while learning, after
all, we can't learn for them,
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they must learn for themselves,
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and the only way you
create a desire to learn
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is to have the
interactions with them,
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in activities
you're engaged in together,
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that makes them want to learn,
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and want to
learn for themselves,
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Yes... that's so true,
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in your book, "What
I Learned in School,"
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you talked about the
developmental experience
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that you and your
siblings had at home,
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unpack that a little bit
more for us, if you would.
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Well, you know, you have
to grow in a number of ways,
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not just academically,
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you have to grow
psychologically, socially,
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you have to learn to
feel good about yourself,
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but the only way you
could feel good about yourself,
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is to gain capacity
that will allow you to read,
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write, talk to
others, interact with others,
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when you could
do all those things,
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you get good
feedback from other people,
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that helps you begin to
feel good about yourself,
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and so, social interaction,
the psycho-emotional,
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being able to
handle your emotions,
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and feelings
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and interact with other people,
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negotiate, work things out,
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rather than fight,
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all of those
capacities that you need to have
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so that you elicit
a positive feedback
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from all of the
people around you.
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That in turn makes you
feel good about yourself again
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and you can interact with
people, empathize with people,
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want to
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care about people,
you do care about people
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because you care about
them... they care about you,
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again, you feel
good about yourself
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and that's the
way we grow along,
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what we call, the
developmental pathways
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the six... the Psycho-emotional,
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Moral, Ethical,
Linguistic. Electro-Cognitive,
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you have to grow
in all of those areas
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and then elicit the feedback
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that makes you feel
like a whole and good person.
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Yes, it is the development
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along all of those
parameters that you mentioned
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that really makes
the child whole and so,
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it's so important to
provide an environment
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that is going to
stimulate that development
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holistically,
and so, in your book,
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again, the same book I
alluded to a little while ago,
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"What I Learned in School"
you talked about three friends
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that you said were
probably as intelligent as you
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but they had a different
school experience from you.
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Would you unpack
that a little bit for us?
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They had a
different school experience
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because they had a different
home experience before school.
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You know, their
parents were good people,
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they worked hard,
same kind of background,
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and they cared about the kids,
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and the kids were
great young people,
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except that the
parents did not appreciate
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how you had to intentionally
give your kids experiences
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that help them grow and
learn and express themselves
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and interact,
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and learn to
interact with each other.
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You know, we
all... in my family,
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we all sat around the
table at the same time,
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we were expected to talk
about what went on in school,
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you were expected to
share, we joked with each other,
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we had lots of fun,
that wasn't emphasized,
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the... having fun,
having a good environment,
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talking, arguing, making jokes,
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all those things were
emphasized in my family
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supported in my family,
my friends didn't have that,
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we also thought
about serious matters,
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and how to handle yourself,
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appropriate things to
do in certain situations,
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that's what all kids need,
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some get it...
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even poor kids get it.
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We were poor, but
we got that experience
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from the parents promoting
it and my friends didn't
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and that was the difference,
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they could not go in
and present themselves
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in ways that
elicited a positive feedback,
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from the school people,
they got negative feedback
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even though
they were great kids.
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That is... the whole idea
of stimulating conversation
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again, you're talking about
things that don't require a lot,
00:11:28.72\00:11:35.42
you mentioned a
word that is critical,
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"intentional" you
have to be intentional
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about how you're
working with your children
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and you don't have
to be well educated,
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you don't have to be wealthy,
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but you have to
provide an environment at home
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that gets your child to talk,
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that gets your
child to think critically,
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that gets your
child stimulated to learn,
00:11:58.81\00:12:02.55
you mentioned in the book that
00:12:02.58\00:12:04.82
your mother took you
to get a library card,
00:12:04.85\00:12:08.89
library cards are free,
00:12:08.92\00:12:10.66
you got books from the
library and you read them
00:12:10.73\00:12:13.80
but your friends...
didn't go to the library.
00:12:13.83\00:12:16.83
They didn't know how it worked,
00:12:16.87\00:12:19.10
their parents
didn't know how it worked,
00:12:19.13\00:12:22.47
and so, it just was a
different environment,
00:12:22.50\00:12:26.34
and I think that if
we can share with parents
00:12:26.37\00:12:30.21
that you can
provide an environment
00:12:30.25\00:12:34.58
that is going to make
your child want to learn
00:12:34.62\00:12:37.49
and want to be successful,
or you can... just not do that
00:12:37.55\00:12:42.46
and then the child is left
00:12:42.49\00:12:44.63
kind of on its own
00:12:44.66\00:12:46.29
to kind of... try to
figure out what's going on
00:12:46.33\00:12:48.23
and then the teachers don't know
00:12:48.26\00:12:50.10
and you brought
that out in the book too,
00:12:50.13\00:12:51.83
and I thought that
was really profound.
00:12:51.87\00:12:53.90
The teachers
don't know, sometimes,
00:12:53.97\00:12:55.94
what the environment is at home,
00:12:55.97\00:12:57.97
so, they didn't know
00:12:58.01\00:12:59.74
that this child
didn't go to the library,
00:12:59.77\00:13:02.51
didn't go, not
because they didn't want to,
00:13:02.54\00:13:04.95
but because the parent
didn't even know how to do that.
00:13:04.98\00:13:08.15
So we have so many
things to consider, am I right?
00:13:08.22\00:13:11.19
That's right, and the school
is a mainstream experience
00:13:11.22\00:13:15.49
that's the way
most of the people
00:13:15.52\00:13:17.69
who operate in the mainstream
00:13:17.73\00:13:20.10
of Society, go to school,
and go to school successfully.
00:13:20.13\00:13:23.67
Many non-mainstream families,
00:13:23.73\00:13:27.60
they are intimidated
by the school environment.
00:13:27.64\00:13:31.54
It's different from
their own home environment
00:13:31.57\00:13:35.48
and so the school has to
work to create an environment
00:13:35.51\00:13:38.78
in which they feel
welcome and supported,
00:13:38.81\00:13:42.85
and the things they do
that are considered bad,
00:13:42.88\00:13:47.02
or... they're considered,
00:13:47.06\00:13:49.16
they're not smart
because they do them,
00:13:49.19\00:13:52.06
the school has to understand
00:13:52.09\00:13:54.30
that they often do
00:13:54.36\00:13:57.20
inappropriate,
unacceptable things,
00:13:57.23\00:14:00.07
because they
haven't been helped at home
00:14:00.14\00:14:02.07
to understand that that's
inappropriate and unacceptable,
00:14:02.14\00:14:05.44
and what is
acceptable and appropriate.
00:14:05.51\00:14:10.15
So, if it's not taught at home,
it has to be taught at school,
00:14:10.18\00:14:15.52
and if you can teach it
with the parents involved,
00:14:15.55\00:14:18.99
the parents themselves then
begin to support it at home,
00:14:19.02\00:14:22.46
and that's what we
really did in our school program
00:14:22.49\00:14:25.53
that made the difference.
00:14:25.56\00:14:26.90
And let's talk a bit about
your school development program
00:14:26.93\00:14:31.03
because it's
just an amazing effort
00:14:31.07\00:14:34.84
on your part and
the part of your team,
00:14:34.87\00:14:37.27
tell us about the team,
00:14:37.31\00:14:38.97
tell us about what you
did and how you implemented
00:14:39.01\00:14:43.45
this new
environment for students.
00:14:43.51\00:14:46.68
I led the team in 1968,
we went into two schools
00:14:46.72\00:14:54.02
that were the worst
schools in the city,
00:14:54.06\00:14:56.32
they had like the
worst academic achievement,
00:14:56.36\00:14:58.33
worst
attendance, worst behavior,
00:14:58.36\00:15:00.13
and there were five of us,
00:15:00.16\00:15:02.50
Psychologist, Social Worker,
Special Education Teacher,
00:15:02.53\00:15:05.97
and what we
did, essentially, was
00:15:06.00\00:15:09.54
to apply all of the knowledge
00:15:09.57\00:15:12.01
of child, adolescent development
and schools and school functions
00:15:12.04\00:15:17.48
to everything that
went on in the school,
00:15:17.55\00:15:20.42
and all the behaviors
and the way they structured
00:15:20.45\00:15:23.72
and set up the school
00:15:23.79\00:15:25.12
and the activities
they had in the school
00:15:25.15\00:15:27.66
and how they planned
them, we set it all up
00:15:27.69\00:15:30.43
so that they can plan
and create an environment
00:15:30.46\00:15:33.60
that first
allowed all the adults
00:15:33.63\00:15:35.83
to get along well together,
00:15:35.86\00:15:37.70
once the adults could
get along well together,
00:15:37.73\00:15:41.50
they could plan
and think and talk
00:15:41.54\00:15:43.67
about what they
wanted for the children
00:15:43.71\00:15:45.47
and then what kind of
conditions they had to create
00:15:45.51\00:15:48.08
in order to make that happen,
00:15:48.11\00:15:49.88
and then carry out
the kinds of activities,
00:15:49.91\00:15:54.68
actually, the same kind of
activities that I had at home,
00:15:54.72\00:15:58.89
we carried them
out in the school.
00:15:58.92\00:16:01.59
Interesting
story but, my mother,
00:16:01.62\00:16:04.16
after the program
began to get attention
00:16:04.19\00:16:06.19
because we were
turning schools around,
00:16:06.23\00:16:08.16
I would travel...
00:16:08.23\00:16:10.17
my mother wanted to
know what it was that we did
00:16:10.20\00:16:14.74
because she couldn't imagine...
00:16:14.77\00:16:17.21
so I described all of the
activities that we created
00:16:17.24\00:16:22.08
and having children feel
warm and accepted and valued,
00:16:22.11\00:16:26.92
and teaching them
basic skills and stuff,
00:16:26.95\00:16:29.58
she looked at me and she said,
"But that's common sense. "
00:16:29.62\00:16:32.85
And then, she looked
at me again and she said,
00:16:32.89\00:16:38.56
"and they pay you for that?"
00:16:38.59\00:16:40.50
Because what I described,
00:16:40.60\00:16:44.43
my father did that for us,
00:16:44.47\00:16:48.30
when we were growing up,
so that... the big problem,
00:16:48.34\00:16:54.14
one of the
biggest problems is that
00:16:54.18\00:16:57.01
the school and education itself,
00:16:57.05\00:16:59.75
the Education
Enterprise, is managed by people
00:16:59.78\00:17:04.32
who are from the
mainstream, Hmmm...
00:17:04.35\00:17:08.36
they grew up in the mainstream,
and their assumption is that...
00:17:08.39\00:17:13.13
that the children
have what they had,
00:17:13.16\00:17:15.30
Yes. many of the children
00:17:15.33\00:17:18.97
did not have it.
00:17:19.00\00:17:21.14
Now in years past,
00:17:21.17\00:17:23.27
those children would have
just done badly in school,
00:17:23.30\00:17:26.04
dropped out, and
gone in the farm,
00:17:26.07\00:17:29.88
the factory, a
whole variety of places,
00:17:29.91\00:17:32.25
but they would earn a living,
00:17:32.28\00:17:34.22
take care of
themselves and their family,
00:17:34.25\00:17:35.58
and they'd be okay.
00:17:35.62\00:17:36.99
Today you can't do that,
00:17:37.02\00:17:39.39
that same group of children
who would have dropped out,
00:17:39.42\00:17:42.99
are now in school
because they must be in school
00:17:43.02\00:17:46.56
and yet they still don't
have the skills necessary
00:17:46.59\00:17:50.13
to be successful in school,
00:17:50.17\00:17:51.50
and it means that the
school must provide those skills
00:17:51.53\00:17:55.97
along with their parents,
00:17:56.00\00:17:57.37
and involve their
parents in the process.
00:17:57.41\00:18:01.71
And it's so amazing
that, and a blessing that
00:18:01.74\00:18:06.15
you would analyze it
down to those components
00:18:06.18\00:18:10.55
and realize
what needs to be done
00:18:10.62\00:18:12.92
to bring that
student up to grade level
00:18:12.95\00:18:15.66
to provide that
kind of environment
00:18:15.69\00:18:18.39
that's going to approach
the student holistically
00:18:18.43\00:18:22.00
and so, I mean, that is
just... that's a real blessing,
00:18:22.03\00:18:27.34
I mean, I know that
you had a lot of success
00:18:27.37\00:18:31.04
in these schools,
what would you say
00:18:31.07\00:18:36.38
was one of the most challenging
situations that you had
00:18:36.41\00:18:41.52
in terms of
bringing everybody together
00:18:41.55\00:18:45.02
and helping
everybody to work together
00:18:45.05\00:18:48.52
toward that common goal
00:18:48.56\00:18:50.23
of the holistic
development of that child?
00:18:50.26\00:18:52.63
Well, the focus is so much
on curriculum and structure
00:18:52.66\00:18:59.03
and assessment, now, that...
00:18:59.07\00:19:03.47
when we started,
nobody thought we could
00:19:03.54\00:19:07.11
do it anyway so
they left us alone.
00:19:07.14\00:19:09.61
They didn't
think you could do it
00:19:09.64\00:19:12.11
so they just said, "Oh,
go ahead, just go for it. "
00:19:12.15\00:19:15.48
And when it happened,
00:19:15.52\00:19:20.39
then a lot of
people began to do it.
00:19:20.42\00:19:22.06
And now, the focus on children
they once said "couldn't learn"
00:19:22.09\00:19:27.60
now they're
insisting that they learn
00:19:27.66\00:19:30.20
and so, everything is
on curriculum instruction
00:19:30.27\00:19:34.40
and assessment,
without understanding
00:19:34.44\00:19:37.74
that those rich family
experiences and interactions
00:19:37.77\00:19:42.71
provide children
with what they need
00:19:42.74\00:19:45.61
to be available
for the instruction
00:19:45.65\00:19:48.48
that they're trying to provide,
00:19:48.52\00:19:50.79
and that's the
basic point right now.
00:19:50.82\00:19:53.66
And also, many of the
preparatory institutions,
00:19:53.69\00:19:58.49
schools of education and others,
00:19:58.53\00:20:00.96
did not provide teachers and
administrators with knowledge
00:20:01.00\00:20:05.57
of what they have to create
in the way of their environment.
00:20:05.63\00:20:10.17
Good
environment, good experiences,
00:20:10.21\00:20:12.34
good relationships that allow
00:20:12.37\00:20:15.04
teachers, administrators,
00:20:15.08\00:20:17.65
to become important
people in the lives of children
00:20:17.68\00:20:20.72
and because
they're important people,
00:20:20.78\00:20:23.35
they can motivate
the children to learn
00:20:23.39\00:20:25.82
and they can engage them
in the kinds of conversations,
00:20:25.85\00:20:29.19
discussions,
activities that we had
00:20:29.22\00:20:31.46
that allowed us to
be successful in school.
00:20:31.49\00:20:33.70
That's what they're
going to have to do.
00:20:33.76\00:20:36.70
Yes, yes... how
and why did you decide
00:20:36.73\00:20:39.60
to blend
psychiatry and education...
00:20:39.63\00:20:42.44
where did that come from?
00:20:42.47\00:20:44.31
Well, you know, I
was planning to become a
00:20:44.37\00:20:46.71
General Practitioner of
Medicine in my hometown,
00:20:46.74\00:20:49.78
and it was during that time,
when I was doing my internship,
00:20:49.81\00:20:53.95
that I had
learned about the problems
00:20:53.98\00:20:56.72
my 3 friends were
having, who were just as bright
00:20:56.75\00:21:00.46
just as able as
anybody in my family,
00:21:00.49\00:21:03.53
anybody in my
school, and we went to a
00:21:03.56\00:21:07.40
racially integrated
upper-income school,
00:21:07.40\00:21:11.23
and they were bright as anybody,
00:21:11.27\00:21:13.13
and yet they were going
on a downhill course in life
00:21:13.17\00:21:16.71
and it was there that I
began to think about... why?
00:21:16.77\00:21:20.24
and what can I do about it.
00:21:20.28\00:21:22.81
And that led me
away from that desire
00:21:22.88\00:21:27.28
to be a General
Practitioner and to work...
00:21:27.32\00:21:31.49
volunteer work in
poor neighborhoods
00:21:31.52\00:21:33.92
and eventually,
thinking about public health
00:21:33.96\00:21:38.79
Psychiatry, Child Psychiatry,
and then to work in schools
00:21:38.83\00:21:43.80
and it was in
Psychiatry... Child Psychiatry
00:21:43.83\00:21:47.37
that I began to
think about development
00:21:47.40\00:21:49.20
and then really realize
that it was my family experience
00:21:49.24\00:21:55.21
that provided us
with the development
00:21:55.24\00:21:57.38
that made it possible,
then I argued to myself,
00:21:57.41\00:22:01.32
we ought to be able to
approximate that environment
00:22:01.35\00:22:05.15
in schools and
that's what we did.
00:22:05.19\00:22:08.19
That's
tremendous, that's tremendous,
00:22:08.22\00:22:11.23
would you say
that... you wrote a book,
00:22:11.26\00:22:16.16
"Raising Black Children"
00:22:16.20\00:22:18.47
what would you say are
some of the differences...
00:22:18.50\00:22:23.77
I mean there are some
common universal needs
00:22:23.81\00:22:27.34
that transcend
culture and race and all that,
00:22:27.38\00:22:30.91
but what are some
of the differences
00:22:30.95\00:22:32.55
in raising Black and Minority
children versus White children?
00:22:32.61\00:22:37.79
Well, most of all, you
have to help Black children
00:22:37.82\00:22:43.39
understand that they're okay,
00:22:43.43\00:22:45.53
as long as
they're performing well,
00:22:45.59\00:22:47.83
trying well, making the effort
00:22:47.86\00:22:50.13
and being
responsible, they're okay.
00:22:50.20\00:22:52.37
It's the other person
and it's the environment
00:22:52.40\00:22:57.97
that discriminates
against them, or dislikes them
00:22:58.01\00:23:03.65
or has negative
things to say about them,
00:23:03.68\00:23:06.82
the problem is out
there, not with the "self"
00:23:06.85\00:23:10.62
and as long as you're
a positive, contributing
00:23:10.69\00:23:15.56
person... then... that
you're not the problem,
00:23:15.59\00:23:20.50
and you're an adequate person.
00:23:20.53\00:23:23.10
Yeah, it takes many
experiences, it takes help,
00:23:23.16\00:23:27.94
it took me... the
fact that I was in church
00:23:28.00\00:23:32.71
experiencing positive
feedback, but also in school,
00:23:32.77\00:23:39.25
where I had good White friends,
and was treated well and fair
00:23:39.31\00:23:44.92
most of the time,
teachers and all the like,
00:23:44.95\00:23:48.52
so there was a
combination of experiences...
00:23:48.56\00:23:52.06
on which I had
positive feedback,
00:23:52.09\00:23:54.83
and I was taught how
to handle racial problems
00:23:54.86\00:24:00.24
so that when I got
through confronting somebody
00:24:00.27\00:24:03.91
or dealing with a racial issue,
things were better off for me,
00:24:03.94\00:24:07.61
after... than they were before,
00:24:07.64\00:24:09.38
and that doesn't always happen,
when you confront a problem,
00:24:09.41\00:24:13.55
and you don't
confront it in a way
00:24:13.62\00:24:15.98
that is useful to
you or anybody else.
00:24:16.02\00:24:18.35
An example, I had a teacher
00:24:18.39\00:24:21.79
and this is rare,
00:24:21.82\00:24:23.96
most of my
teachers were very fair,
00:24:24.03\00:24:27.13
but I had a
teacher who gave me a grade
00:24:27.20\00:24:30.23
that was below
what it should be,
00:24:30.27\00:24:33.00
given that it was
almost what... the top...
00:24:33.03\00:24:35.94
it was one point behind
the top student's grade...
00:24:35.97\00:24:38.41
two students' grades,
00:24:38.44\00:24:39.77
30 points ahead
of the next student,
00:24:39.81\00:24:41.68
I started talking with her,
00:24:41.71\00:24:43.91
she started convincing me
00:24:43.95\00:24:46.08
she tried to convince me
that a "B" was a good grade,
00:24:46.11\00:24:48.28
and finally she said,
00:24:48.32\00:24:51.12
"Well, you know, I just
don't think you're capable
00:24:51.15\00:24:53.92
of making an 'A'"
00:24:53.96\00:24:55.72
and that was the
end of the discussion
00:24:55.76\00:24:57.63
because I knew what
that meant. Hmmm... hmmm...
00:24:57.66\00:24:59.79
I went out and in
the next 10 weeks,
00:24:59.83\00:25:02.83
I made the
highest score in the room.
00:25:02.86\00:25:06.17
I didn't get in her
face, I didn't argue,
00:25:06.20\00:25:09.44
I just went out and
demonstrated that I could do it
00:25:09.47\00:25:13.48
and that I deserved that grade.
00:25:13.51\00:25:15.21
Now, that's what you
have to help your kids...
00:25:15.24\00:25:18.75
the black
kids... understand. Yes.
00:25:18.78\00:25:21.65
You demonstrate your excellence
00:25:21.68\00:25:24.45
and you don't
"mouth" your excellence.
00:25:24.49\00:25:27.26
Yes... that is so profound,
00:25:27.36\00:25:33.70
"you
demonstrate your excellence"
00:25:33.73\00:25:36.83
and what you needed...
see... you could have gone
00:25:36.87\00:25:42.27
two routes with it,
you could have shrunk
00:25:42.30\00:25:45.51
like... shrunk back,
and you could have said,
00:25:45.54\00:25:48.58
you know, "Whoa, okay,
I guess I just can't. "
00:25:48.61\00:25:51.65
Or you could do what you did,
00:25:51.68\00:25:54.18
and say, "I will show you,
I don't have to say anything,
00:25:54.22\00:25:58.32
I will just show you,
00:25:58.35\00:25:59.72
I will make the top
mark in the class... "
00:25:59.79\00:26:02.72
And this just
negated the whole argument.
00:26:02.76\00:26:05.63
It just negated
the whole argument
00:26:05.69\00:26:07.76
and what you got at
home, gave you that foundation
00:26:07.76\00:26:12.83
to approach the
situation that way.
00:26:12.90\00:26:15.34
That's right, that's right,
00:26:15.37\00:26:17.44
now, actually I have
seen my mother, especially,
00:26:17.51\00:26:21.48
handle
situations... just like that.
00:26:21.51\00:26:26.05
But, always handled it in a way
00:26:26.08\00:26:29.72
that she helped people
look at what they were doing
00:26:29.75\00:26:32.92
that was not right,
and not fair, and not just,
00:26:32.95\00:26:36.09
and often without saying a word,
00:26:36.12\00:26:38.16
just through
demonstrating her excellence
00:26:38.23\00:26:40.80
so that we learned how
to handle racial problems
00:26:40.83\00:26:46.30
and all kinds of problems
through interactions at home.
00:26:46.37\00:26:49.30
And that is key,
that we as parents
00:26:49.34\00:26:54.84
provide an environment
at home for our children
00:26:54.88\00:26:59.78
that shows them, it
demonstrates how to perform
00:26:59.85\00:27:04.75
in times of crisis and conflicts
00:27:04.79\00:27:08.59
and your parents did that.
00:27:08.62\00:27:10.56
We've got about 30 seconds,
Doc, give us a closing thought,
00:27:10.59\00:27:14.50
whatever you want a
parent out there to know about
00:27:14.56\00:27:17.17
how they can help
their child, 30 seconds...
00:27:17.20\00:27:20.74
Well, I think
"caring" is most important
00:27:20.77\00:27:24.21
and you don't have to
worry about making a mistake
00:27:24.24\00:27:28.61
because they love
you and you love them
00:27:28.64\00:27:32.25
and they will know that,
and if you do make a mistake,
00:27:32.28\00:27:35.52
you apologize for
the things that you did
00:27:35.55\00:27:40.06
and let them know
that the reason was because
00:27:40.09\00:27:44.03
you are trying to have
them do their very best,
00:27:44.06\00:27:47.86
and you want them
to do their very best.
00:27:47.86\00:27:50.17
Yes... Thank
you so much Dr. Jim,
00:27:50.23\00:27:54.00
you have provided
such great information,
00:27:54.04\00:27:57.07
please come back
and bless us again.
00:27:57.11\00:27:59.14
Well, thank you.
00:27:59.17\00:28:00.61
Thank you so much for joining us
00:28:00.64\00:28:02.58
this is the end of our
Program, join us next time
00:28:02.61\00:28:04.78
it just wouldn't be
the same without you.
00:28:04.81\00:28:06.38