Stay tuned to meet one of
the most respected figures
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in American Education.
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My name is Yvonne
Lewis and you're watching
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Urban Report.
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Hello, and
welcome to Urban Report.
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My guest today
is Dr. James Comer,
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Professor of
Psychiatry at Yale University
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and author of
"Maggie's American Dream,"
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"What I Learned in School,"
"Raising Black Children,"
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and other scholarly works.
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Welcome to Urban
Report Dr. Comer...
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Thank you... good to be here...
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Yeah... I'm so happy
you're here you know,
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before I ask you about
education for our children,
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I just want to tell
you how impressed I was
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as I read your books,
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I just felt your authenticity,
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your compassion, your
desire to make a difference
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it's just so compelling,
so, I want to publicly thank you
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for your
diligence and hard work.
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Thank you so much.
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Well, thank you for
your kind compliments.
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Absolutely... absolutely...
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You know, it
seems to me as though
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you got your work
ethic from your mom
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and in your memoire,
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"Maggie's American Dream"
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you share a lot
about your mother, Maggie.
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Tell us about her and her
impact on you and your siblings.
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Well, it was mom and dad,
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my dad was just as
hardworking and dedicated,
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he died early, and
she really had to carry on
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but she was terrific
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and I would say that
I won the real lottery
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in having parents
that were so great.
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My mom was born
in rural Mississippi,
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Woodland, Mississippi and
she was one of 12 children
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and her father died...
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he was killed by lightening
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when she was 6 years of
age, and as a result of that
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a cruel stepfather
came into their lives
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and he was abusive in every way,
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and would not allow the
children to go to school,
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and he was just a difficult
man that they wanted to kill,
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she ran away when
she was 16 years of age,
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to East Chicago, Indiana,
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and told her sister there
that she wanted to go to school
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because she always felt
that education was the way
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but her sister wouldn't
allow her to go to school,
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and she had to drop out
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and she took a job
as a domestic worker
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and that she did... for 12
years until she married my dad
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and it was an
interesting story, you know,
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she ran away to
her sister's house
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and my father was
her Sunday School teacher
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and he was 12 years older,
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and nobody wanted
them to get married
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her family didn't want her
to get married but she did,
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and they were married for
12 years before we were born,
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and the two of them,
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my mother with
no real education,
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less than two
years of going to school,
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my father had about
6 years of education
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she worked as a Domestic,
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he worked as a Steel
Mill Laborer and Janitor,
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and the two of them
sent the 5 of us to college
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for a total of 13 degrees,
and so they sent that family,
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they gave us a family experience
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that really make that possible.
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You know, from the beginning,
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they would take
us out to the park
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and interact with us,
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and they always
believed in education,
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and they always believed...
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they believed
in the Country also
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because they believed
that if you worked hard,
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you could get
wherever you wanted to go,
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and so they prepared...
but the others did also
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that they had to
prepare us to work hard
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and so, everything they did,
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was to prepare us to
be successful in school
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and to be successful in life.
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That is so tremendous because
one of the things that I noticed
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from what you had
said about your mom,
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was that she... it was her story
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when she was giving... in
the first part of Maggie's book
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the book about
Maggie... Right...
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and she was telling
that she was a cook at 9
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for over 20 people,
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and so she
developed a strong work ethic
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your dad had a
strong work ethic,
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and they imparted that
to you, they imparted...
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even without education,
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they imparted a
standard of excellence,
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Right... so, what
you show, Dr. Jim,
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if I may call you Dr. Jim,
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what you show is that
you don't have to be educated
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to provide the
environment for your children
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to get an education.
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That's right, that's right,
when we were little children
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my mother... and I still think
she probably couldn't read,
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she was probably illiterate,
but she used to sit with us,
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every Sunday evening
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and read the Funnies...
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now, the Funnies
are not great literature
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but it was sitting with her
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and being close to her
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and her warmth and her
reading what she could to us,
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and that just
made learning important
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and the warmth and
the learning activity...
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that made it important,
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and that's the way they conveyed
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the importance
of learning to us.
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Yes, what I hear
you saying is that...
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there was a combined
activity here of the warmth,
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the emotional nurturing along
with the learning experience
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so the learning got
connected to the warmth
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and that created
that desire for learning
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in you and your
siblings. That's right.
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That's the motivating factor,
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if there's
anything we're missing
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today in what we do,
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we focus too much on
learning, on academics alone,
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in isolation and not
with the kind of environment
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the warm,
supportive environment,
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we have to give
children to help motivate them
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while learning, after
all, we can't learn for them,
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they must learn for themselves,
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and the only way you
create a desire to learn
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is to have the
interactions with them,
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in activities
you're engaged in together,
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that makes them want to learn,
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and want to
learn for themselves,
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Yes... that's so true,
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in your book, "What
I Learned in School,"
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you talked about the
developmental experience
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that you and your
siblings had at home,
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unpack that a little bit
more for us, if you would.
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Well, you know, you have
to grow in a number of ways,
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not just academically,
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you have to grow
psychologically, socially,
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you have to learn to
feel good about yourself,
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but the only way you
could feel good about yourself,
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is to gain capacity
that will allow you to read,
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write, talk to
others, interact with others,
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when you could
do all those things,
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you get good
feedback from other people,
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that helps you begin to
feel good about yourself,
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and so, social interaction,
the psycho-emotional,
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being able to
handle your emotions,
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and feelings
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and interact with other people,
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negotiate, work things out,
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rather than fight,
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all of those
capacities that you need to have
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so that you elicit
a positive feedback
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from all of the
people around you.
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That in turn makes you
feel good about yourself again
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and you can interact with
people, empathize with people,
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want to
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care about people,
you do care about people
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because you care about
them... they care about you,
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again, you feel
good about yourself
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and that's the
way we grow along,
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what we call, the
developmental pathways
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the six... the Psycho-emotional,
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Moral, Ethical,
Linguistic. Electro-Cognitive,
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you have to grow
in all of those areas
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and then elicit the feedback
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that makes you feel
like a whole and good person.
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Yes, it is the development
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along all of those
parameters that you mentioned
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that really makes
the child whole and so,
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it's so important to
provide an environment
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that is going to
stimulate that development
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holistically,
and so, in your book,
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again, the same book I
alluded to a little while ago,
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"What I Learned in School"
you talked about three friends
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that you said were
probably as intelligent as you
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but they had a different
school experience from you.
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Would you unpack
that a little bit for us?
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They had a
different school experience
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because they had a different
home experience before school.
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You know, their
parents were good people,
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they worked hard,
same kind of background,
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and they cared about the kids,
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and the kids were
great young people,
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except that the
parents did not appreciate
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how you had to intentionally
give your kids experiences
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that help them grow and
learn and express themselves
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and interact,
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and learn to
interact with each other.
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You know, we
all... in my family,
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we all sat around the
table at the same time,
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we were expected to talk
about what went on in school,
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you were expected to
share, we joked with each other,
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we had lots of fun,
that wasn't emphasized,
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the... having fun,
having a good environment,
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talking, arguing, making jokes,
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all those things were
emphasized in my family
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supported in my family,
my friends didn't have that,
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we also thought
about serious matters,
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and how to handle yourself,
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appropriate things to
do in certain situations,
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that's what all kids need,
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some get it...
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even poor kids get it.
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We were poor, but
we got that experience
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from the parents promoting
it and my friends didn't
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and that was the difference,
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they could not go in
and present themselves
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in ways that
elicited a positive feedback,
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from the school people,
they got negative feedback
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even though
they were great kids.
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That is... the whole idea
of stimulating conversation
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again, you're talking about
things that don't require a lot,
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you mentioned a
word that is critical,
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"intentional" you
have to be intentional
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about how you're
working with your children
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and you don't have
to be well educated,
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you don't have to be wealthy,
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but you have to
provide an environment at home
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that gets your child to talk,
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that gets your
child to think critically,
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that gets your
child stimulated to learn,
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you mentioned in the book that
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your mother took you
to get a library card,
00:12:04.89\00:12:08.92
library cards are free,
00:12:08.96\00:12:10.69
you got books from the
library and you read them
00:12:10.73\00:12:13.80
but your friends...
didn't go to the library.
00:12:13.83\00:12:16.90
They didn't know how it worked,
00:12:16.93\00:12:19.17
their parents
didn't know how it worked,
00:12:19.20\00:12:22.54
and so, it just was a
different environment,
00:12:22.57\00:12:26.41
and I think that if
we can share with parents
00:12:26.44\00:12:30.25
that you can
provide an environment
00:12:30.28\00:12:34.65
that is going to make
your child want to learn
00:12:34.68\00:12:37.55
and want to be successful,
or you can... just not do that
00:12:37.59\00:12:42.52
and then the child is left
00:12:42.56\00:12:44.69
kind of on its own
00:12:44.73\00:12:46.36
to kind of... try to
figure out what's going on
00:12:46.39\00:12:48.33
and then the teachers don't know
00:12:48.36\00:12:50.17
and you brought
that out in the book too,
00:12:50.20\00:12:51.93
and I thought that
was really profound.
00:12:51.97\00:12:54.00
The teachers
don't know, sometimes,
00:12:54.04\00:12:56.04
what the environment is at home,
00:12:56.07\00:12:58.07
so, they didn't know
00:12:58.11\00:12:59.84
that this child
didn't go to the library,
00:12:59.87\00:13:02.54
didn't go, not
because they didn't want to,
00:13:02.58\00:13:04.98
but because the parent
didn't even know how to do that.
00:13:05.01\00:13:08.18
So we have so many
things to consider, am I right?
00:13:08.25\00:13:11.22
That's right, and the school
is a mainstream experience
00:13:11.25\00:13:15.52
that's the way
most of the people
00:13:15.56\00:13:17.73
who operate in the mainstream
00:13:17.76\00:13:20.10
of Society, go to school,
and go to school successfully.
00:13:20.13\00:13:23.73
Many non-mainstream families,
00:13:23.77\00:13:27.64
they are intimidated
by the school environment.
00:13:27.67\00:13:31.61
It's different from
their own home environment
00:13:31.64\00:13:35.54
and so the school has to
work to create an environment
00:13:35.58\00:13:38.85
in which they feel
welcome and supported,
00:13:38.88\00:13:42.92
and the things they do
that are considered bad,
00:13:42.95\00:13:47.06
or... they're considered,
00:13:47.09\00:13:49.22
they're not smart
because they do them,
00:13:49.26\00:13:52.13
the school has to understand
00:13:52.16\00:13:54.40
that they often do
00:13:54.43\00:13:57.30
inappropriate,
unacceptable things,
00:13:57.33\00:14:00.10
because they
haven't been helped at home
00:14:00.14\00:14:02.10
to understand that that's
inappropriate and unacceptable,
00:14:02.17\00:14:05.47
and what is
acceptable and appropriate.
00:14:05.54\00:14:10.15
So, if it's not taught at home,
it has to be taught at school,
00:14:10.18\00:14:15.55
and if you can teach it
with the parents involved,
00:14:15.58\00:14:19.02
the parents themselves then
begin to support it at home,
00:14:19.05\00:14:22.49
and that's what we
really did in our school program
00:14:22.52\00:14:25.56
that made the difference.
00:14:25.59\00:14:26.93
And let's talk a bit about
your school development program
00:14:26.96\00:14:31.10
because it's
just an amazing effort
00:14:31.13\00:14:34.90
on your part and
the part of your team,
00:14:34.94\00:14:37.34
tell us about the team,
00:14:37.37\00:14:39.04
tell us about what you
did and how you implemented
00:14:39.07\00:14:43.51
this new
environment for students.
00:14:43.55\00:14:46.72
I led the team in 1968,
we went into two schools
00:14:46.75\00:14:54.09
that were the worst
schools in the city,
00:14:54.12\00:14:56.39
they had like the
worst academic achievement,
00:14:56.42\00:14:58.39
worst
attendance, worst behavior,
00:14:58.43\00:15:00.10
and there were five of us,
00:15:00.13\00:15:02.53
Psychologist, Social Worker,
Special Education Teacher,
00:15:02.56\00:15:06.00
and what we
did, essentially, was
00:15:06.03\00:15:09.57
to apply all of the knowledge
00:15:09.60\00:15:12.04
of child, adolescent development
and schools and school functions
00:15:12.07\00:15:17.51
to everything that
went on in the school,
00:15:17.55\00:15:20.45
and all the behaviors
and the way they structured
00:15:20.48\00:15:23.75
and set up the school
00:15:23.79\00:15:25.12
and the activities
they had in the school
00:15:25.15\00:15:27.69
and how they planned
them, we set it all up
00:15:27.72\00:15:30.43
so that they can plan
and create an environment
00:15:30.46\00:15:33.60
that first
allowed all the adults
00:15:33.63\00:15:35.90
to get along well together,
00:15:35.93\00:15:37.77
once the adults could
get along well together,
00:15:37.80\00:15:41.57
they could plan
and think and talk
00:15:41.60\00:15:43.74
about what they
wanted for the children
00:15:43.77\00:15:45.54
and then what kind of
conditions they had to create
00:15:45.57\00:15:48.14
in order to make that happen,
00:15:48.18\00:15:49.94
and then carry out
the kinds of activities,
00:15:49.98\00:15:54.75
actually, the same kind of
activities that I had at home,
00:15:54.78\00:15:58.95
we carried them
out in the school.
00:15:58.99\00:16:01.59
Interesting
story but, my mother,
00:16:01.62\00:16:04.13
after the program
began to get attention
00:16:04.19\00:16:06.19
because we were
turning schools around,
00:16:06.23\00:16:08.20
I would travel...
00:16:08.26\00:16:10.17
my mother wanted to
know what it was that we did
00:16:10.23\00:16:14.77
because she couldn't imagine...
00:16:14.80\00:16:17.24
so I described all of the
activities that we created
00:16:17.27\00:16:22.11
and having children feel
warm and accepted and valued,
00:16:22.14\00:16:26.95
and teaching them
basic skills and stuff,
00:16:26.98\00:16:29.62
she looked at me and she said,
"But that's common sense. "
00:16:29.65\00:16:32.89
And then, she looked
at me again and she said,
00:16:32.92\00:16:38.59
"and they pay you for that?"
00:16:38.63\00:16:40.53
Because what I described,
00:16:40.60\00:16:44.50
my father did that for us,
00:16:44.53\00:16:48.37
when we were growing up,
so that... the big problem,
00:16:48.40\00:16:54.18
one of the
biggest problems is that
00:16:54.24\00:16:57.05
the school and education itself,
00:16:57.08\00:16:59.81
the Education
Enterprise, is managed by people
00:16:59.85\00:17:04.32
who are from the
mainstream, Hmmm...
00:17:04.35\00:17:08.36
they grew up in the mainstream,
and their assumption is that...
00:17:08.39\00:17:13.13
that the children
have what they had,
00:17:13.16\00:17:15.33
Yes. many of the children
00:17:15.36\00:17:19.00
did not have it.
00:17:19.03\00:17:21.17
Now in years past,
00:17:21.20\00:17:23.30
those children would have
just done badly in school,
00:17:23.34\00:17:26.07
dropped out, and
gone in the farm,
00:17:26.11\00:17:29.91
the factory, a
whole variety of places,
00:17:29.94\00:17:32.28
but they would earn a living,
00:17:32.31\00:17:34.22
take care of
themselves and their family,
00:17:34.28\00:17:35.62
and they'd be okay.
00:17:35.65\00:17:36.99
Today you can't do that,
00:17:37.02\00:17:39.42
that same group of children
who would have dropped out,
00:17:39.45\00:17:43.02
are now in school
because they must be in school
00:17:43.06\00:17:46.59
and yet they still don't
have the skills necessary
00:17:46.63\00:17:50.17
to be successful in school,
00:17:50.20\00:17:51.53
and it means that the
school must provide those skills
00:17:51.57\00:17:56.04
along with their parents,
00:17:56.07\00:17:57.41
and involve their
parents in the process.
00:17:57.44\00:18:01.71
And it's so amazing
that, and a blessing that
00:18:01.74\00:18:06.15
you would analyze it
down to those components
00:18:06.18\00:18:10.55
and realize
what needs to be done
00:18:10.59\00:18:12.92
to bring that
student up to grade level
00:18:12.95\00:18:15.66
to provide that
kind of environment
00:18:15.69\00:18:18.39
that's going to approach
the student holistically
00:18:18.43\00:18:22.03
and so, I mean, that is
just... that's a real blessing,
00:18:22.06\00:18:27.37
I mean, I know that
you had a lot of success
00:18:27.40\00:18:31.07
in these schools,
what would you say
00:18:31.11\00:18:36.41
was one of the most challenging
situations that you had
00:18:36.44\00:18:41.55
in terms of
bringing everybody together
00:18:41.58\00:18:45.05
and helping
everybody to work together
00:18:45.09\00:18:48.56
toward that common goal
00:18:48.59\00:18:50.23
of the holistic
development of that child?
00:18:50.26\00:18:52.66
Well, the focus is so much
on curriculum and structure
00:18:52.69\00:18:59.10
and assessment, now, that...
00:18:59.13\00:19:03.47
when we started,
nobody thought we could
00:19:03.51\00:19:07.08
do it anyway so
they left us alone.
00:19:07.11\00:19:09.61
They didn't
think you could do it
00:19:09.64\00:19:12.11
so they just said, "Oh,
go ahead, just go for it. "
00:19:12.15\00:19:15.48
And when it happened,
00:19:15.52\00:19:20.39
then a lot of
people began to do it.
00:19:20.42\00:19:22.06
And now, the focus on children
they once said "couldn't learn"
00:19:22.09\00:19:27.63
now they're
insisting that they learn
00:19:27.66\00:19:30.23
and so, everything is
on curriculum instruction
00:19:30.27\00:19:34.44
and assessment,
without understanding
00:19:34.47\00:19:37.77
that those rich family
experiences and interactions
00:19:37.81\00:19:42.74
provide children
with what they need
00:19:42.78\00:19:45.65
to be available
for the instruction
00:19:45.68\00:19:48.52
that they're trying to provide,
00:19:48.55\00:19:50.79
and that's the
basic point right now.
00:19:50.82\00:19:53.69
And also, many of the
preparatory institutions,
00:19:53.72\00:19:58.53
schools of education and others,
00:19:58.56\00:20:01.03
did not provide teachers and
administrators with knowledge
00:20:01.06\00:20:05.63
of what they have to create
in the way of their environment.
00:20:05.70\00:20:10.24
Good
environment, good experiences,
00:20:10.27\00:20:12.41
good relationships that allow
00:20:12.44\00:20:15.11
teachers, administrators,
00:20:15.14\00:20:17.71
to become important
people in the lives of children
00:20:17.75\00:20:20.78
and because
they're important people,
00:20:20.82\00:20:23.39
they can motivate
the children to learn
00:20:23.42\00:20:25.89
and they can engage them
in the kinds of conversations,
00:20:25.92\00:20:29.26
discussions,
activities that we had
00:20:29.29\00:20:31.53
that allowed us to
be successful in school.
00:20:31.56\00:20:33.76
That's what they're
going to have to do.
00:20:33.80\00:20:36.80
Yes, yes... how
and why did you decide
00:20:36.83\00:20:39.70
to blend
psychiatry and education...
00:20:39.73\00:20:42.54
where did that come from?
00:20:42.57\00:20:44.41
Well, you know, I
was planning to become a
00:20:44.47\00:20:46.78
General Practitioner of
Medicine in my hometown,
00:20:46.84\00:20:49.88
and it was during that time,
when I was doing my internship,
00:20:49.91\00:20:54.05
that I had
learned about the problems
00:20:54.08\00:20:56.79
my 3 friends were
having, who were just as bright
00:20:56.82\00:21:00.46
just as able as
anybody in my family,
00:21:00.49\00:21:03.53
anybody in my
school, and we went to a
00:21:03.56\00:21:07.43
racially integrated
upper-income school,
00:21:07.46\00:21:11.30
and they were bright as anybody,
00:21:11.33\00:21:13.20
and yet they were going
on a downhill course in life
00:21:13.23\00:21:16.77
and it was there that I
began to think about... why?
00:21:16.81\00:21:20.28
and what can I do about it.
00:21:20.31\00:21:22.88
And that led me
away from that desire
00:21:22.94\00:21:27.35
to be a General
Practitioner and to work...
00:21:27.38\00:21:31.55
volunteer work in
poor neighborhoods
00:21:31.59\00:21:33.99
and eventually,
thinking about public health
00:21:34.02\00:21:38.86
Psychiatry, Child Psychiatry,
and then to work in schools
00:21:38.89\00:21:43.87
and it was in
Psychiatry... Child Psychiatry
00:21:43.90\00:21:47.44
that I began to
think about development
00:21:47.47\00:21:49.30
and then really realize
that it was my family experience
00:21:49.34\00:21:55.31
that provided us
with the development
00:21:55.34\00:21:57.45
that made it possible,
then I argued to myself,
00:21:57.48\00:22:01.35
we ought to be able to
approximate that environment
00:22:01.38\00:22:05.19
in schools and
that's what we did.
00:22:05.22\00:22:08.22
That's
tremendous, that's tremendous,
00:22:08.26\00:22:11.26
would you say
that... you wrote a book,
00:22:11.29\00:22:16.23
"Raising Black Children"
00:22:16.26\00:22:18.53
what would you say are
some of the differences...
00:22:18.57\00:22:23.81
I mean there are some
common universal needs
00:22:23.84\00:22:27.41
that transcend
culture and race and all that,
00:22:27.44\00:22:30.98
but what are some
of the differences
00:22:31.01\00:22:32.61
in raising Black and Minority
children versus White children?
00:22:32.68\00:22:37.85
Well, most of all, you
have to help Black children
00:22:37.89\00:22:43.46
understand that they're okay,
00:22:43.49\00:22:45.59
as long as
they're performing well,
00:22:45.66\00:22:47.90
trying well, making the effort
00:22:47.93\00:22:50.23
and being
responsible, they're okay.
00:22:50.27\00:22:52.47
It's the other person
and it's the environment
00:22:52.50\00:22:58.07
that discriminates
against them, or dislikes them
00:22:58.11\00:23:03.65
or has negative
things to say about them,
00:23:03.68\00:23:06.85
the problem is out
there, not with the "self"
00:23:06.88\00:23:10.65
and as long as you're
a positive, contributing
00:23:10.69\00:23:15.59
person... then... that
you're not the problem,
00:23:15.62\00:23:20.53
and you're an adequate person.
00:23:20.56\00:23:23.16
Yeah, it takes many
experiences, it takes help,
00:23:23.23\00:23:28.00
it took me... the
fact that I was in church
00:23:28.07\00:23:32.77
experiencing positive
feedback, but also in school,
00:23:32.84\00:23:39.31
where I had good White friends,
and was treated well and fair
00:23:39.38\00:23:44.99
most of the time,
teachers and all the like,
00:23:45.02\00:23:48.59
so there was a
combination of experiences...
00:23:48.62\00:23:52.13
on which I had
positive feedback,
00:23:52.16\00:23:54.90
and I was taught how
to handle racial problems
00:23:54.96\00:24:00.24
so that when I got
through confronting somebody
00:24:00.27\00:24:03.91
or dealing with a racial issue,
things were better off for me,
00:24:03.94\00:24:07.64
after... than they were before,
00:24:07.68\00:24:09.41
and that doesn't always happen,
when you confront a problem,
00:24:09.44\00:24:13.58
and you don't
confront it in a way
00:24:13.62\00:24:16.02
that is useful to
you or anybody else.
00:24:16.05\00:24:18.39
An example, I had a teacher
00:24:18.42\00:24:21.82
and this is rare,
00:24:21.86\00:24:23.99
most of my
teachers were very fair,
00:24:24.03\00:24:27.16
but I had a
teacher who gave me a grade
00:24:27.20\00:24:30.27
that was below
what it should be,
00:24:30.30\00:24:33.07
given that it was
almost what... the top...
00:24:33.10\00:24:36.00
it was one point behind
the top student's grade...
00:24:36.04\00:24:38.47
two students' grades,
00:24:38.51\00:24:39.84
30 points ahead
of the next student,
00:24:39.87\00:24:41.74
I started talking with her,
00:24:41.78\00:24:43.98
she started convincing me
00:24:44.01\00:24:46.15
she tried to convince me
that a "B" was a good grade,
00:24:46.18\00:24:48.35
and finally she said,
00:24:48.38\00:24:51.19
"Well, you know, I just
don't think you're capable
00:24:51.22\00:24:53.96
of making an 'A'"
00:24:53.99\00:24:55.79
and that was the
end of the discussion
00:24:55.82\00:24:57.69
because I knew what
that meant. Hmmm... hmmm...
00:24:57.73\00:24:59.86
I went out and in
the next 10 weeks,
00:24:59.89\00:25:02.86
I made the
highest score in the room.
00:25:02.90\00:25:06.20
I didn't get in her
face, I didn't argue,
00:25:06.23\00:25:09.47
I just went out and
demonstrated that I could do it
00:25:09.50\00:25:13.48
and that I deserved that grade.
00:25:13.51\00:25:15.24
Now, that's what you
have to help your kids...
00:25:15.28\00:25:18.78
the black
kids... understand. Yes.
00:25:18.81\00:25:21.68
You demonstrate your excellence
00:25:21.72\00:25:24.49
and you don't
"mouth" your excellence.
00:25:24.52\00:25:27.29
Yes... that is so profound,
00:25:27.36\00:25:33.70
"you
demonstrate your excellence"
00:25:33.73\00:25:36.87
and what you needed...
see... you could have gone
00:25:36.90\00:25:42.34
two routes with it,
you could have shrunk
00:25:42.37\00:25:45.57
like... shrunk back,
and you could have said,
00:25:45.61\00:25:48.64
you know, "Whoa, okay,
I guess I just can't. "
00:25:48.68\00:25:51.71
Or you could do what you did,
00:25:51.75\00:25:54.22
and say, "I will show you,
I don't have to say anything,
00:25:54.25\00:25:58.39
I will just show you,
00:25:58.42\00:25:59.79
I will make the top
mark in the class... "
00:25:59.85\00:26:02.72
And this just
negated the whole argument.
00:26:02.76\00:26:05.63
It just negated
the whole argument
00:26:05.69\00:26:07.76
and what you got at
home, gave you that foundation
00:26:07.80\00:26:12.87
to approach the
situation that way.
00:26:12.93\00:26:15.37
That's right, that's right,
00:26:15.40\00:26:17.47
now, actually I have
seen my mother, especially,
00:26:17.51\00:26:21.51
handle
situations... just like that.
00:26:21.54\00:26:26.08
But, always handled it in a way
00:26:26.11\00:26:29.75
that she helped people
look at what they were doing
00:26:29.78\00:26:32.95
that was not right,
and not fair, and not just,
00:26:32.99\00:26:36.12
and often without saying a word,
00:26:36.16\00:26:38.19
just through
demonstrating her excellence
00:26:38.26\00:26:40.83
so that we learned how
to handle racial problems
00:26:40.86\00:26:46.37
and all kinds of problems
through interactions at home.
00:26:46.43\00:26:49.37
And that is key,
that we as parents
00:26:49.40\00:26:54.91
provide an environment
at home for our children
00:26:54.94\00:26:59.85
that shows them, it
demonstrates how to perform
00:26:59.91\00:27:04.75
in times of crisis and conflicts
00:27:04.79\00:27:08.59
and your parents did that.
00:27:08.62\00:27:10.56
We've got about 30 seconds,
Doc, give us a closing thought,
00:27:10.59\00:27:14.53
whatever you want a
parent out there to know about
00:27:14.56\00:27:17.17
how they can help
their child, 30 seconds...
00:27:17.20\00:27:20.74
Well, I think
"caring" is most important
00:27:20.77\00:27:24.24
and you don't have to
worry about making a mistake
00:27:24.27\00:27:28.64
because they love
you and you love them
00:27:28.68\00:27:32.28
and they will know that,
and if you do make a mistake,
00:27:32.31\00:27:35.55
you apologize for
the things that you did
00:27:35.58\00:27:40.09
and let them know
that the reason was because
00:27:40.12\00:27:44.03
you are trying to have
them do their very best,
00:27:44.06\00:27:47.90
and you want them
to do their very best.
00:27:47.93\00:27:50.23
Yes... Thank
you so much Dr. Jim,
00:27:50.27\00:27:54.04
you have provided
such great information,
00:27:54.07\00:27:57.11
please come back
and bless us again.
00:27:57.14\00:27:59.21
Well, thank you.
00:27:59.24\00:28:00.58
Thank you so much for joining us
00:28:00.61\00:28:02.58
this is the end of our
Program, join us next time
00:28:02.61\00:28:04.78
it just wouldn't be
the same without you.
00:28:04.81\00:28:06.38