The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Stay tuned to meet a
young woman who was in darkness
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and is now walking in
God's marvelous light...
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My name is Yvonne
Lewis and you're watching
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Urban Report...
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Hello and welcome
to Urban Report...
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My guest today
is Danielle Harrison
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Founder of Into
His Light Ministry...
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Welcome to Urban
Report Danielle...
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Thank you for having me Yvonne,
it's really a privilege...
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It's a blessing for
us to have you here...
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I'm so thankful that
you're going to share your story
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with us because
there are so many people
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that need to hear it...
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and they're struggling
with the same kind of bondage
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and so, I just really
appreciate your being here...
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thank you... Thank
you for having me...
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So, give us a little bit of
history into your background
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let's hear some
of your background
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and get into your testimony...
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Okay, well,
growing up as a child...
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my first love was music...
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when I asked my
mom about my character
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as a baby and a young girl
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she says I was
always singing and dancing
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everywhere that I
went... and also that
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that I liked to be
outdoors out in nature...
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and that I was
always very happy...
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unfortunately, my parents were
struggling in their marriage
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by the time I came around
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they weren't planning
on having another child...
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and so... my parents separated
when I was only 6 years old...
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and as a result
of that separation...
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we moved into a neighboring town
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we chose some low-income housing
my mother and my siblings and I,
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and it was actually
in that apartment complex
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where I made friends
with a girl down the street...
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and through that friendship
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her and I started having
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sexual interactions...
when I was only seven...
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when we started
interacting sexually...
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So, you were 7 years
old... when you actually had
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your first sexual
experience, Hmmm... hmmm...
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and it was with
a female... Yes...
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we have a picture of you
when you were about that age
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and this is you
when you were seven?
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Yes... This is
how... young you were
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when you had that
first experience...
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Yeah, that's right...
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So, what happened after that?
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What did that
experience do to you?
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Well, I think that,
you know, it really...
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it colored... to a large degree
my thoughts towards sexuality
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because I was only...
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I was so young when I started
having these experiences,
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and so, I
mean... later on in life
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I just really
thought that I was born gay
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because those things
started happening so early...
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and I look back
and I acknowledge
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that there are other
things that kind of shape
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that view in my
life... but I think...
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to a large extent...
it was that interaction...
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And how old was she...
how old was the female?
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She was the same age... Okay...
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So she was a
playmate? She was... yeah...
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and so, as a result
of those interactions...
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I was learning
things about my body
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that I shouldn't have known...
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and so masturbation
became an addiction for me
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very early on in life...
and because it was... you know
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I continued
having these interactions
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with her and then other girls
came and went in my life...
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and because it was easy for me
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to interact sexually
with my girlfriends...
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I was probably only about 14
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when I started interacting
sexually with guy friends too...
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and so I became very
flirtatious in High School...
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and I was only 16 years
old when I lost my virginity...
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you know, at that
point I had lost all sight of
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staying "pure" because
I had shared sexual things
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with so many different people.
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What was your home life like...
I mean, your dad was gone now
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it was just your
mom as a single parent
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what was going on in the home...
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and do you feel that
that was contributing
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to your sexual expression?
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Well, I think the fact
that dad was out of the picture,
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kind of left a
vacancy... in my heart...
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and in my life... as
far as, how, you know,
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to react with men
on a healthy level...
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I remember that my
mother and my sister found out
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about my
interactions with this girl
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through another young
man in the neighborhood...
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he was probably about 12...
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so, "another kid" is a
more accurate term for him...
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but for them, they...
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I think that they
just didn't really know
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how to address the
situation, and maybe they were
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a little bit
intimidated by that fact...
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but they just kind of
started poking fun at me...
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for kissing girls and so,
that caused even more confusion
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about my sexuality...
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and about my
attractions to the same sex...
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and so, I thought that this
was something that I had to hide
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and so, because of those
dynamics I think that it was...
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it was hard for me to
understand how to relate to
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to femininity and to
masculinity at a young age
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and I never really had...
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I never really
had Gender Dysphoria
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where I wanted to be a boy...
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but I think that I didn't really
know how to relate to the sexes
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in a healthy way...
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that God would have
us relate to them...
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Right... and so... at that
point when you were 13 or 14...
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you weren't
comfortable talking to your mom
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about your sexuality?
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Well, we moved in
with my father probably...
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a few years after the separation
maybe 3 years or so...
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2 or 3... and
that was mostly because
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it was easier for dad to
support us financially...
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and so, my mother moved...
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back to where most
of her family lived...
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not very long after we
moved back in with our dad so...
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as I got older and, you know,
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I always knew that mom would
call and ask me about my grades
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and asked me how I was
doing and well, by this age,
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being distracted more by
boyfriends and making friends
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and fitting in
and stuff like that...
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I wasn't doing as good in School
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and I really didn't
want to call and tell her
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that I was flunking my classes,
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I didn't want to tell her
that I was addicted to marijuana
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and doing these things
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that I knew she
would disapprove of
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and so... it was
easier for me just not to...
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not to talk to her and
I really distanced myself
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from her through my teen years
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and my early-twenties years...
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my father on the other
hand, he's not a Christian
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and I remember
being 16 years old
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when he came and told
me, "You know, Danielle... "
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he could see the
posters I had on my wall...
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and he said,
"Danielle, if there are ways
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in which you're different
from most everybody else...
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that's okay... no
matter who you are,
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I'm still going to love
you... " so, he never came out
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and said, "it's
okay if you're gay"
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well, we basically both
knew what he was talking about
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and so, for me there was
a greater level of freedom
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in my father's home,
and I think that he was just
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trying to nurture me
into being who I was...
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so, I didn't talk to
my mother about it a lot
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but the conversations
that I did have with my father
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which were limited at
that, he was very accepting
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and it was okay to be who I was
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Now, let me ask
you something Danielle,
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because we often hear about
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kids that "come
out" to their parents
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and there's not acceptance,
or there's hostility...
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or there's...
what would you say to
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a Christian parent...
whose child "comes out" to them?
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how should the Christian...
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it's a different thing
from a parent in the world
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but how should a
Christian parent respond
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to a young person
that "comes out" to them?
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I appreciate your asking
that question because I think
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that's it's important
for the child's benefit
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and for the
parent's benefit to kind of
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know a perspective like mine...
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I think that a lot of
the times as Christians...
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we feel like... we can't
accept that part of their life
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in any way, shape or form...
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or that means that
we're saying that "it's okay"
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so a lot of the times
Christian parents will
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as far as what I've
heard, other people say
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that happened to
them when they "came out"
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often, Christian parents will
emotionally distance themselves
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from that child or
they will kick them
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out of the house or...
you know things like this
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that end up only
injuring the person even more...
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I think that... kicking
a person out of the house
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is only going to thrust
them into that "lifestyle"
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or culture that is so
prevalent in homosexuality today
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and it's just going to further
that rejection that they...
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that a lot of people are
really struggling against...
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when you're coming of age...
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and you want to
find "who you are"
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and you want to fit in...
rejection is really a hard thing
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to experience...
well, for all of us
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no matter where we are in life
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so, I would encourage them
not to emotionally reject them
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or physically reject them,
but to express clearly to them
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that you don't approve of
the choice that they've made,
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and explain to them Biblically
why God doesn't approve
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of the choice that they've
made and then at that point
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do your best...
not to reform them...
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but to love them...
and to be there for them
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and continue to be
a parent for them...
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and that doesn't mean
making compromises in your home
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that allow that kind of behavior
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but still being a
parent for them and continuing,
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continuing,
continuing to pray for them...
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because myself and
all of my colleagues
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in 'Coming Out'
Ministries know that...
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we're in the
Church today because
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people were praying for
us, our mothers, our fathers,
00:11:06.83\00:11:10.30
our siblings
continued to pray for us...
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and sometimes we look at
prayer as our "last resort"
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instead of our "first defense"
but really... you know...
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if a person isn't
coming to you with an open hand
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asking for
information, then they're not...
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chances are...
they're not going to be ready
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for it... but if
you just pray the
00:11:27.88\00:11:29.25
Holy Spirit into their lives...
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then, when they're
looking for answers,
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they'll know that
they can come to you
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that you're a safe place
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for them... to come to
you... for those answers
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and then their hand will be open
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and they'll be
able to receive it...
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I think that's a
great answer but you know...
00:11:40.43\00:11:43.80
as I was listening
to you talk about...
00:11:43.87\00:11:46.17
what your dad did... so your dad
00:11:46.20\00:11:48.84
had a piece of it... correct...
00:11:48.87\00:11:51.44
he showed that he
loved you no matter what...
00:11:51.47\00:11:54.71
he loved you...
no matter what...
00:11:54.74\00:11:56.75
and he did not, however,
express concern about the choice
00:11:56.78\00:12:02.18
and he did not have a
Biblical basis... you know...
00:12:02.22\00:12:05.79
that foundation for you,
but he did show you love,
00:12:05.85\00:12:09.32
and I think... that
is a very important thing
00:12:09.36\00:12:11.93
because there's
so much rejection
00:12:11.96\00:12:14.40
and hostility
that's shown to people
00:12:14.46\00:12:16.90
who are in that
lifestyle... that... you know...
00:12:16.93\00:12:20.94
you have to have a
safe place to be...
00:12:20.97\00:12:23.61
and if your parents
would say, "I love you"
00:12:23.64\00:12:26.78
even if you're
making this choice...
00:12:26.81\00:12:28.44
I still love you... but I
don't approve of the choice
00:12:28.51\00:12:31.15
I think that's a
healthy response...
00:12:31.18\00:12:33.78
versus kicking them out...
and abusing them further...
00:12:33.85\00:12:38.42
I think that can just lead to
00:12:38.45\00:12:40.46
suicide and all
kinds of negative things...
00:12:40.52\00:12:43.49
Yes... so, I
think that's really,
00:12:43.56\00:12:45.86
really good...
so your dad then...
00:12:45.93\00:12:48.16
and we have a picture
of you in your teens...
00:12:48.20\00:12:51.17
we want to show...
when you had actually begun
00:12:51.20\00:12:54.54
living that whole lifestyle...
your dad showed you love,
00:12:54.60\00:13:02.24
but he still didn't
lay a foundation for you...
00:13:02.28\00:13:06.98
so, where was God
in this whole thing...
00:13:07.02\00:13:09.98
where was your...
spiritual life during this time?
00:13:10.02\00:13:14.42
Sure, well when I was 9
years old I had been baptized
00:13:14.46\00:13:18.59
I had just been infrequently
attending a Baptist Church and
00:13:18.66\00:13:21.93
and they sat myself
00:13:21.96\00:13:23.47
and a friend down... and said,
00:13:23.50\00:13:25.70
"Do you love Jesus, and
do you believe that He exists
00:13:25.73\00:13:29.87
and that you want
him to be your Savior?"
00:13:29.90\00:13:31.44
and we did... so
we were baptized...
00:13:31.47\00:13:32.81
but... it wasn't that I
had a relationship with Jesus
00:13:32.84\00:13:36.61
I didn't have a
prayer life or read the Bible
00:13:36.64\00:13:39.58
so I didn't have that
foundation in Christ...
00:13:39.61\00:13:42.02
so I didn't have His
hand to hold on to...
00:13:42.05\00:13:44.42
around this time... as I
was kind of transitioning
00:13:44.45\00:13:48.92
towards the world...
what was happening was
00:13:48.96\00:13:51.26
we had moved next door
to an Adventist family...
00:13:51.29\00:13:55.36
and my sister had started
00:13:55.40\00:13:57.07
to study the Bible
with one of their sons...
00:13:57.10\00:13:59.67
but for me it was like
00:13:59.70\00:14:02.14
my sister was
accepting the truth
00:14:02.17\00:14:03.84
that she was receiving
and she was being baptized...
00:14:03.87\00:14:06.47
but for me... it was like I
was sitting down and thinking,
00:14:06.54\00:14:10.58
"You know what...
I don't have to do
00:14:10.65\00:14:12.35
what everybody
tells me I need to do...
00:14:12.38\00:14:14.05
I can make my own decisions,
00:14:14.12\00:14:15.62
I know the difference
between right and wrong
00:14:15.68\00:14:17.32
and what's the
worst that can happen?
00:14:17.35\00:14:18.69
I can be crazy and
at the end of the day...
00:14:18.72\00:14:21.92
everything will be fine...
00:14:21.99\00:14:23.32
what's the worst thing
that can happen... so...
00:14:23.36\00:14:25.66
for me... as I was transitioning
turning away from God
00:14:25.69\00:14:30.10
and kind of rejecting the light
that I had been receiving...
00:14:30.13\00:14:32.73
of course, a lot of
depression and anxiety
00:14:32.77\00:14:35.64
and uneasiness
came... settling in on me
00:14:35.67\00:14:38.44
because I was turning
away from those convictions...
00:14:38.47\00:14:41.04
and then I started blaming God
00:14:41.08\00:14:44.31
for that depression
00:14:44.35\00:14:48.45
for those things and I
thought "I can't be the person
00:14:48.48\00:14:51.12
that the Bible tells
me that I need to be... "
00:14:51.19\00:14:52.75
so I just kind of
left it all behind...
00:14:52.82\00:14:54.79
and I just really went
headstrong out into the world
00:14:54.82\00:15:00.23
at that point...
and extravagant hair,
00:15:00.26\00:15:03.43
make up and dress
became a big part of my life
00:15:03.47\00:15:06.40
because art and music
were really the only things
00:15:06.43\00:15:09.30
that made sense to me anymore,
00:15:09.34\00:15:10.77
they were my solace and my
comfort that I could run to...
00:15:10.81\00:15:13.78
What kind of music...
00:15:13.81\00:15:15.14
what kind of music
were you listening to?
00:15:15.18\00:15:16.81
Well, you know, at
first... in my teenage years
00:15:16.85\00:15:20.35
it was just kind
of... the popular music
00:15:20.38\00:15:23.92
that was on the radio
00:15:23.95\00:15:25.29
which is really... I mean,
when I look back at the music
00:15:25.32\00:15:27.42
I was listening
to... even the "tame stuff"
00:15:27.46\00:15:30.03
that they play on
the radio it's very...
00:15:30.09\00:15:32.49
it's very sensual...
00:15:32.53\00:15:35.46
it's very rebellious and so I
just kind of started with that
00:15:35.50\00:15:40.14
but as I had moved to
the Pacific Northwest...
00:15:40.17\00:15:42.67
there was such a huge local
music scene out there in Seattle
00:15:42.70\00:15:47.31
and I started getting into
that and I think to the world
00:15:47.34\00:15:52.11
to a great extent... God
and Satan are just, you know
00:15:52.15\00:15:56.89
characters in a Fairy Tale
and so, it's almost something
00:15:56.92\00:16:01.66
to joke about... and
so I even got to the point
00:16:01.69\00:16:04.86
where I was listening to very
openly rebellious, blasphemous
00:16:04.89\00:16:09.16
and even Satanic
music at that time
00:16:09.20\00:16:12.73
and I say Satanic because...
you know, in some of their songs
00:16:12.77\00:16:16.47
they would even
talk about the devil...
00:16:16.50\00:16:18.87
"The following one... he
always gets what he wants
00:16:18.94\00:16:21.21
this is your time to repent... "
is one of the lyrics I remember
00:16:21.24\00:16:24.25
from my favorite
band and they said,
00:16:24.28\00:16:28.02
"I am the devil and I've
come to do the devil's work...
00:16:28.05\00:16:30.59
death seduces
generations... " you know,
00:16:30.62\00:16:33.19
so I first
started out listening to
00:16:33.22\00:16:35.72
some of the more
risqué music on the radio
00:16:35.76\00:16:38.56
but this was where I
ended up in the end...
00:16:38.59\00:16:40.96
listening to this kind of music
00:16:40.96\00:16:42.63
that was very
dark and very scary
00:16:42.66\00:16:44.90
and I think that... that music
00:16:44.93\00:16:47.07
it tells us in
"The Great Controversy"
00:16:47.10\00:16:49.34
that by beholding...
we become changed...
00:16:49.37\00:16:51.61
the mind gradually adapts itself
00:16:51.64\00:16:53.68
to the subjects upon
which it is allowed to dwell...
00:16:53.74\00:16:56.28
and at this point...
00:16:56.31\00:16:57.81
the music that I was
listening to... really reflected
00:16:57.85\00:17:00.65
what was going on in my
heart, and had changed me
00:17:00.68\00:17:03.35
and I was... at this point,
I was talking about the very
00:17:03.39\00:17:07.72
extravagant
hair, makeup and dress
00:17:07.76\00:17:09.39
but now I would draw
stitches across my face,
00:17:09.42\00:17:12.99
with sharpie pens...
write song lyrics up and down my
00:17:13.03\00:17:15.70
arms and legs and
even wear devil horns...
00:17:15.73\00:17:18.37
I had a few different
sets of devil horns that I...
00:17:18.40\00:17:20.44
at first was wearing
to concerts and raves
00:17:20.47\00:17:22.87
but then eventually...
just out to the store...
00:17:22.90\00:17:25.31
on a Tuesday afternoon...
00:17:25.34\00:17:26.78
this was just
kind of who I became
00:17:26.81\00:17:28.94
I was a
billboard for the enemy...
00:17:29.01\00:17:31.08
You know... that's
wow! you gave us some really
00:17:31.11\00:17:35.38
interesting points here because
00:17:35.42\00:17:38.75
each scene reinforced the other
00:17:38.79\00:17:42.06
so, the music was
reinforcing of the rebellion...
00:17:42.12\00:17:48.00
and the
lifestyle was reinforcing
00:17:48.03\00:17:51.00
and the music was
reinforcing the lifestyle...
00:17:51.03\00:17:53.80
so it all kind of
worked together...
00:17:53.87\00:17:55.97
as we know the enemy does...
00:17:56.00\00:17:57.71
he just piles some
things up on each other...
00:17:57.74\00:18:02.48
to further cement his
ways into our psyche...
00:18:02.51\00:18:07.15
and so, what you're saying is...
00:18:07.18\00:18:09.12
you started doing all
these different things
00:18:09.15\00:18:11.09
even putting
things on your cheek...
00:18:11.12\00:18:12.85
I think we have a picture of you
00:18:12.89\00:18:15.32
with some markings on your cheek
00:18:15.36\00:18:17.69
was this when you were
at the peak, so to speak,
00:18:17.73\00:18:21.50
or at the depths... depending
on how you want to look at it...
00:18:21.53\00:18:25.33
of your lifestyle...
where were you in this picture?
00:18:25.37\00:18:29.40
Yeah, so that photo, I
think I was probably around
00:18:29.44\00:18:32.97
22 years old... so
that would have been
00:18:33.01\00:18:36.11
the darkest
place... in my journey...
00:18:36.14\00:18:39.11
so, you had...
you had the music...
00:18:39.15\00:18:42.08
you had the bisexual lifestyle,
00:18:42.12\00:18:44.65
and you also got into the
New Age Movement at bit...
00:18:44.72\00:18:50.43
tell us a bit about that...
00:18:50.46\00:18:51.79
Yeah, so, as I was...
00:18:51.83\00:18:54.66
as I was in that deep,
dark place in my life...
00:18:54.73\00:18:58.47
one morning I woke up
00:18:58.50\00:19:00.07
and I just couldn't even
look in the mirror anymore...
00:19:00.10\00:19:03.94
I was so struggling with
anxiety attacks and depression
00:19:03.97\00:19:07.78
and even hearing voices...
00:19:07.81\00:19:10.01
I was really
just... going insane
00:19:10.08\00:19:12.51
and I woke up one morning
and I was just contemplating
00:19:12.55\00:19:15.15
my life... and I heard
this thought in my mind...
00:19:15.18\00:19:17.49
and it was clearer and
stronger than any other thought
00:19:17.52\00:19:20.96
that I had heard
thought before... and it said,
00:19:20.99\00:19:22.32
"Danielle, you've got to change
or you are going to die... "
00:19:22.36\00:19:24.19
and that was when I knew
00:19:24.23\00:19:25.93
I had an
important decision to make
00:19:25.96\00:19:27.66
whether I was going to stay
on the path that I was in...
00:19:27.66\00:19:30.27
or I was going to
turn away from it...
00:19:30.30\00:19:32.30
and I answered that call
00:19:32.33\00:19:34.64
and I moved back
in with my father...
00:19:34.67\00:19:36.10
and I decided that I was
going to try to get off of...
00:19:36.14\00:19:38.81
all of the drugs... get
myself out of this scene
00:19:38.84\00:19:42.74
completely... in the city...
00:19:42.81\00:19:44.15
and just really
try and find God...
00:19:44.18\00:19:47.32
because Christianity hadn't
worked for me... I thought...
00:19:47.35\00:19:51.05
I would search into
different religions of the world
00:19:51.09\00:19:53.82
I was looking
especially into Wiccanism...
00:19:53.86\00:19:56.96
and Native American Spirituality
00:19:56.99\00:19:58.79
eventually
Buddhism and then Hinduism
00:19:58.83\00:20:01.43
and as I was doing my studies
00:20:01.46\00:20:03.33
I found the New Age
Spirituality Movement
00:20:03.37\00:20:05.90
and I related to God...
as a "woman" more in my mind
00:20:05.97\00:20:11.41
because I naturally
related more to women...
00:20:11.44\00:20:13.78
and so, these spiritualities
were so intriguing for me
00:20:13.81\00:20:18.78
and I felt at home
there... in those beliefs
00:20:18.81\00:20:21.65
and as I
continued to read into them
00:20:21.72\00:20:25.85
I think that a lot of lesbians
00:20:25.89\00:20:28.92
gravitate to
those kinds of religions
00:20:28.99\00:20:31.56
because... they can
relate easier to women in it
00:20:31.59\00:20:34.93
so they relate to
God... easier that way...
00:20:34.93\00:20:37.43
and as I was reading
into these different religions
00:20:37.50\00:20:40.50
I found that a lot of lesbians
00:20:40.54\00:20:43.44
had that kind of mentality...
00:20:43.47\00:20:46.31
and so, as I was
stepping out of the world...
00:20:46.34\00:20:48.31
I was kind of stepping also
out of this chapter in my life
00:20:48.34\00:20:51.85
where I was very promiscuous...
00:20:51.88\00:20:53.21
having a lot of different
relationships in and out...
00:20:53.25\00:20:56.35
with men and
women... and I was kind of...
00:20:56.38\00:20:59.52
I'm stepping into this
more subtled spiritual place
00:20:59.55\00:21:05.33
in my life and I
was also trying...
00:21:05.36\00:21:07.20
I was wrestling
between these two decisions
00:21:07.23\00:21:09.40
whether or not I was
going to be celibate because
00:21:09.43\00:21:14.27
I just had this
calling on my heart...
00:21:14.30\00:21:16.17
that in order to grow
spiritually the way I decided to
00:21:16.20\00:21:19.44
I needed to be celibate...
00:21:19.47\00:21:20.81
or on the other hand...
I was thinking, you know,
00:21:20.84\00:21:23.91
I'm usually in
relationships with guys because
00:21:23.95\00:21:26.92
it's easier for me...
00:21:26.95\00:21:28.65
even though I
related to women easier,
00:21:28.72\00:21:31.45
I was more awkward and shy
around girls that I liked...
00:21:31.49\00:21:34.86
so, it was easier for me
to stumble into relationships
00:21:34.89\00:21:38.19
with the guys... so
I thought you know...
00:21:38.23\00:21:39.93
"maybe if I just found a
woman to commit myself to...
00:21:39.96\00:21:42.66
I could actually have a
healthy relationship... "
00:21:42.70\00:21:45.23
so, I was battling between
the decision to be celibate
00:21:45.27\00:21:47.77
or to be a
lesbian... and so that's kind of
00:21:47.84\00:21:50.84
the place that I was
at... spiritually and sexually
00:21:50.87\00:21:55.34
when God saw that my
heart was softening...
00:21:55.38\00:21:59.01
and He decided that He was going
to... kind of "re-place" me
00:21:59.05\00:22:03.18
in a new setting where I can
00:22:03.22\00:22:04.89
"be still and
know that He was God"
00:22:04.92\00:22:06.86
and learn of Him... and
that was a whole new chapter
00:22:06.89\00:22:10.43
in life that God was getting
ready to start me out on.
00:22:10.46\00:22:14.13
So, how did He do it...
what did He do... tell us...
00:22:14.20\00:22:17.83
Well, my sister and her husband
00:22:17.90\00:22:21.27
so that gentleman that she
was studying the Bible with
00:22:21.34\00:22:25.14
that neighbor boy...
she ended up marrying him...
00:22:25.17\00:22:27.88
and this specific summer...
00:22:27.91\00:22:32.01
they were going to
go out to South Dakota
00:22:32.05\00:22:35.92
to go to the Black Hills
Health and Education Center...
00:22:35.95\00:22:38.42
for her husband to do an
internship on the farm...
00:22:38.45\00:22:41.96
and my sister, I think,
she could see that my heart was
00:22:41.99\00:22:44.59
kind of softening because before
00:22:44.63\00:22:46.39
when I was
wearing the devil horns...
00:22:46.43\00:22:47.86
I didn't want to
talk about God at all...
00:22:47.93\00:22:49.83
but now I was
searching and opening up
00:22:49.86\00:22:51.70
and so she invited me
to go out there with them
00:22:51.77\00:22:54.10
for the summer... and
that was kind of a decision
00:22:54.17\00:22:56.57
that I really wrestled with...
and in the end I decided to go
00:22:56.60\00:23:00.18
and it was while I was out there
for volunteering on the farm
00:23:00.21\00:23:03.01
for six months that...
00:23:03.04\00:23:05.05
I was learning
spiritual object lessons
00:23:05.08\00:23:08.15
about my Creator
through His nature...
00:23:08.18\00:23:11.22
out there on the farm
and that was really softening
00:23:11.25\00:23:17.66
my heart more and
more to a Creator God...
00:23:17.69\00:23:19.89
and really understanding that
00:23:19.93\00:23:22.46
kind of worshipping
these things around me as gods
00:23:22.50\00:23:25.10
but there must be something
more to the equation...
00:23:25.13\00:23:29.17
and so... then as I
continued to develop friendships
00:23:29.24\00:23:33.17
with the Christians
out there on campus...
00:23:33.21\00:23:35.48
I started to see
that... you know...
00:23:35.51\00:23:37.65
I was in the struggle between
the person that I wanted to be
00:23:37.68\00:23:41.05
the good person
that I wanted to be
00:23:41.08\00:23:43.15
and the person
that I naturally was...
00:23:43.22\00:23:45.25
and as I had
looked at Christians
00:23:45.29\00:23:47.56
to a large degree before
00:23:47.59\00:23:48.92
as just hypocrites and robots...
00:23:48.96\00:23:50.69
I started to see...
00:23:50.73\00:23:52.29
through these Christian lives
00:23:52.33\00:23:53.70
that they were in the
same battle that I was...
00:23:53.73\00:23:55.66
and they were all
trying to be good people...
00:23:55.70\00:23:57.97
and it kind of softened my
heart towards Christians...
00:23:58.00\00:24:01.54
and then God was
showing me other truths
00:24:01.57\00:24:04.54
gently... as I was
opened to hear them
00:24:04.57\00:24:07.48
more and more truths
about Christianity as well...
00:24:07.54\00:24:11.01
and so my heart was really,
really starting to change
00:24:11.05\00:24:14.48
towards God... and
then the most amazing
00:24:14.52\00:24:17.25
part to me was that...
00:24:17.29\00:24:18.62
He brought
something into my life
00:24:18.65\00:24:20.32
that was so humble... that
I wasn't expecting it to be
00:24:20.36\00:24:24.33
an earth-shattering truth for me
00:24:24.36\00:24:26.39
and that was
when I got my hands on
00:24:26.43\00:24:28.86
five documentaries
and presentations by
00:24:28.93\00:24:31.37
"Little Light Studios"
00:24:31.40\00:24:32.83
and when I watched
the "Magic Kingdom" DVD
00:24:32.87\00:24:37.91
that they put together...
00:24:37.94\00:24:39.31
kind of disclosing the
dangers of Disney movies...
00:24:39.34\00:24:43.24
I started to see that
my mind had been programmed
00:24:43.28\00:24:47.12
from a young age... to
view life the way that I did
00:24:47.15\00:24:50.25
to view sexuality
the way that I did,
00:24:50.29\00:24:52.82
and to view spirituality
the way that I did...
00:24:52.85\00:24:54.56
I saw the kind of
great controversy...
00:24:54.59\00:24:57.39
kind of blossom open...
and see the truth of it...
00:24:57.43\00:25:00.53
through this documentary
and as I started to realize that
00:25:00.60\00:25:04.47
I couldn't trust my own
heart and my own mind...
00:25:04.50\00:25:06.37
to find God and
figure out the universe...
00:25:06.43\00:25:09.67
then I started to also realize
that it wasn't God's plan for me
00:25:09.70\00:25:16.31
to be a lesbian and that was
00:25:16.34\00:25:20.08
namely, I mean, through a
Disney documentary... right...
00:25:20.12\00:25:22.72
mainly I was impressed of that
by how they were talking about
00:25:22.75\00:25:27.99
how Disney
portrays the woman's body...
00:25:28.02\00:25:29.99
with a... you know...
00:25:30.03\00:25:31.39
whether you're watching an
old Disney movie or new one...
00:25:31.43\00:25:33.90
they have that...
very hourglass figure
00:25:33.93\00:25:36.13
that coy and
seductive facial expression
00:25:36.16\00:25:38.37
and very sensual body language
00:25:38.40\00:25:40.50
and they were just talking
about how this is dangerous
00:25:40.54\00:25:43.24
for young girls to learn to
00:25:43.27\00:25:44.67
relate to the
woman's body that way...
00:25:44.74\00:25:46.47
but that was what really...
00:25:46.51\00:25:49.24
the Holy Spirit
spoke to me and said...
00:25:49.28\00:25:51.08
"You know... this
has programmed you
00:25:51.11\00:25:52.71
to view the
woman's body this way... "
00:25:52.75\00:25:54.32
and that was really a point
of kind of surrender for me
00:25:54.35\00:25:57.45
because I realized that I
couldn't cling to my desires
00:25:57.49\00:26:00.62
anymore but that I had
to invite God to lead me
00:26:00.66\00:26:03.89
in His will for my life...
00:26:03.93\00:26:05.73
And praise the Lord for
that... so did the attractions
00:26:05.76\00:26:10.80
the same-sex attraction...
00:26:10.83\00:26:12.93
did they just
immediately go away
00:26:13.00\00:26:14.74
or... what happened with
that... we have about one minute
00:26:14.77\00:26:17.61
I can't believe
our time is about up...
00:26:17.64\00:26:20.21
What happened to
the same-sex attraction?
00:26:20.24\00:26:22.78
Sure, you know,
00:26:22.81\00:26:24.28
those attractions
didn't just melt away...
00:26:24.31\00:26:27.68
I think in God's
mercy and love for me...
00:26:27.72\00:26:31.02
what He did was, He
took my desire for the things
00:26:31.05\00:26:34.29
that go against His
expressed will away...
00:26:34.32\00:26:37.43
and so I didn't... my
mind wasn't so focused
00:26:37.46\00:26:40.46
towards that anymore...
but I did realize very quickly
00:26:40.50\00:26:44.03
that I had to guard
the avenues of my soul
00:26:44.07\00:26:46.10
I had to become mindful of
where I was looking at... and
00:26:46.13\00:26:49.44
what I was thinking...
otherwise, those attractions
00:26:49.47\00:26:53.34
would start to come up
again... and so, even today,
00:26:53.38\00:26:57.18
I might look at
a woman and think,
00:26:57.21\00:26:58.98
"She's really beautiful...
" but then I just think
00:26:59.01\00:27:01.65
"God created beauty and it's
okay for her to be beautiful...
00:27:01.68\00:27:05.15
and I'm not going to
indulge in that thought
00:27:05.19\00:27:07.09
and continue in that thought
00:27:07.12\00:27:08.69
but I'm just going to
thank God for the beauty
00:27:08.72\00:27:10.83
and move on... " and
so, that's kind of where
00:27:10.86\00:27:12.89
I had to come in my life to
realize that I don't have to
00:27:12.93\00:27:15.96
identify myself by my temptation
but what I identify in now is
00:27:16.00\00:27:22.64
that I'm a new
creature in Christ
00:27:22.70\00:27:24.47
and that He's able to keep
me if I would just continue
00:27:24.51\00:27:27.34
to submit it to Him...
00:27:27.38\00:27:28.71
every time the
temptation comes in.
00:27:28.74\00:27:30.08
That is wonderful...
00:27:30.11\00:27:32.08
and that is wonderful advice
for someone who is battling
00:27:32.11\00:27:36.58
with the same issues...
00:27:36.62\00:27:37.99
now you're with
'Coming Out' Ministries
00:27:38.02\00:27:40.16
and I recommend that our
Viewers go to that website
00:27:40.19\00:27:45.26
check them out
00:27:45.29\00:27:46.63
and I want to thank you so much
Danielle... for being with us...
00:27:46.66\00:27:49.83
Thank you... may God bless
you and continue to bless you...
00:27:49.86\00:27:53.03
thank you so
much... Thank you...
00:27:53.07\00:27:55.54
All of us have been in
some kind of darkness...
00:27:55.57\00:27:58.84
that's why we need a Savior...
Jesus Christ the righteous...
00:27:58.91\00:28:02.44
If you're still in a dark place
00:28:02.48\00:28:04.38
ask Jesus to
come into your heart
00:28:04.41\00:28:06.28
and watch how your life...
your life will just change...
00:28:06.31\00:28:10.15
Thank you so much
for being with us...
00:28:10.19\00:28:12.02
join us next time...
because it wouldn't be the same
00:28:12.05\00:28:14.09
without you...
00:28:14.12\00:28:15.69