Stay tuned to meet a pair of twins that dared to dream 00:00:01.10\00:00:03.83 of a better life... and found it. 00:00:03.87\00:00:05.97 My name is Yvonne Lewis 00:00:06.10\00:00:07.40 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:00:07.54\00:00:09.44 Hello! And welcome to Urban Report. 00:00:29.92\00:00:32.16 My guests today are Wayne and Dwayne Caines: 00:00:32.49\00:00:35.70 authors, speakers, and entrepreneurs. 00:00:35.83\00:00:38.50 Wayne is presently the CEO of Digicel Bermuda, 00:00:38.53\00:00:41.97 the largest telecommunications company on the island. 00:00:42.00\00:00:44.94 And Dwyane is the public relations manager 00:00:45.17\00:00:47.64 for the Bermuda Police Service. 00:00:47.78\00:00:49.44 Welcome to Urban Report Wayne and Dwayne. 00:00:49.68\00:00:52.21 Welcome and thanks for having us. 00:00:52.55\00:00:54.05 Thank you for the opportunity. 00:00:54.08\00:00:55.48 It is so great to have you here. 00:00:55.65\00:00:57.49 You guys have such an interesting story. 00:00:57.72\00:01:01.79 And it's interesting because I met Wayne 00:01:02.02\00:01:05.29 at Oakwood University, and Wayne had his book - 00:01:05.53\00:01:09.36 you guys' book - Double Vision. 00:01:09.50\00:01:12.57 This book is so good. 00:01:12.90\00:01:15.80 I recommend it to everybody to read. 00:01:15.97\00:01:18.41 It's funny, it's insightful, it's inspiring. 00:01:18.54\00:01:23.28 You guys have had quite an interesting journey. 00:01:23.45\00:01:26.75 So I'd like to talk to both of you 00:01:26.88\00:01:29.22 about your journey together 00:01:29.35\00:01:32.52 as well as your different personalities and just how you 00:01:32.65\00:01:37.09 grew up. So let's talk a little bit first about how you grew up, 00:01:37.13\00:01:40.66 where you grew up, and some of the experiences that you had. 00:01:40.80\00:01:44.07 Let's start with Wayne. 00:01:45.07\00:01:47.34 We live and were raised on the beautiful island of Bermuda 00:01:47.50\00:01:52.64 that is nestled in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean 00:01:52.87\00:01:55.94 right on the balmy shores in a very peaceful and loving island. 00:01:56.08\00:02:01.12 Dwayne and I were raised 00:02:01.35\00:02:02.62 in a Seventh-day Adventist household. 00:02:02.65\00:02:04.92 Our mother is from Jamaica, 00:02:05.05\00:02:06.65 and growing up in Bermuda she instilled the values 00:02:06.89\00:02:10.26 of our faith and discipline. 00:02:10.29\00:02:12.16 As you can imagine, we were young men - young twins - 00:02:12.29\00:02:16.16 in an island. We were mischievous. 00:02:16.30\00:02:17.77 We had a lot of fun. We enjoyed a lot of mayhem 00:02:17.90\00:02:22.50 and causing trouble in our local church. 00:02:22.64\00:02:25.04 We had a very firm Christian foundation. 00:02:25.17\00:02:29.31 And the reason why this is important - 00:02:29.54\00:02:30.78 and I'd like to just spend a minute here - 00:02:30.91\00:02:32.38 is because oftentimes we have a very unique faith. 00:02:32.51\00:02:36.08 As Seventh-day Adventist Christians, we were raised to 00:02:36.32\00:02:39.85 understand the importance of our faith. 00:02:39.89\00:02:41.86 We were taught to respect the Sabbath. 00:02:41.99\00:02:43.89 We were taught the importance of loving those in your 00:02:44.03\00:02:46.76 immediate circle. We had a complete understanding 00:02:46.80\00:02:50.13 of the discipline of our faith. 00:02:50.17\00:02:51.70 On the things that we could do and what we couldn't do 00:02:51.83\00:02:54.00 and how our character and reflecting the character 00:02:54.14\00:02:56.40 of Christ was very important for us... not only in our household 00:02:56.44\00:03:00.04 but in our community. Excuse me a second. So your home, then, 00:03:00.08\00:03:05.95 set the tone for your behavior in a sense? 00:03:06.08\00:03:10.19 Because your parents... you had a two-parent household... 00:03:10.32\00:03:13.32 you came from a strong Christian background. 00:03:13.46\00:03:16.49 Did your home then set the tone for your perspective 00:03:16.73\00:03:22.76 on your faith and education? 00:03:23.00\00:03:25.23 Here is what's interesting. My father wasn't an Adventist 00:03:25.47\00:03:28.37 until I was 13, so growing up my father 00:03:28.50\00:03:32.24 who grew up in North America - who grew up in New York - 00:03:32.37\00:03:35.08 he was growing up in New York City during the time of 00:03:35.21\00:03:39.25 Malcolm X. He was a man that was deeply connected to his culture, 00:03:39.38\00:03:44.15 the black culture. And so when he came back to Bermuda 00:03:44.29\00:03:47.36 after university in the United States of America 00:03:47.49\00:03:49.29 he was raised an Anglican but he was not a SDA. 00:03:49.52\00:03:53.96 My mother was a Seventh-day Adventist. 00:03:54.20\00:03:56.23 Our grandparents lived with us. 00:03:56.36\00:03:58.03 And she ensured that we were raised as Seventh-day Adventist 00:03:58.17\00:04:01.60 young men. 00:04:01.64\00:04:02.80 The thing that is very important 00:04:02.94\00:04:05.54 is that our parents - including my father - 00:04:05.67\00:04:07.98 had a very strong structure around us. 00:04:08.11\00:04:11.11 They ensured that we under- stood what it was to be 00:04:11.25\00:04:13.98 Christian young men but more importantly to 00:04:14.12\00:04:16.08 respect those around us. 00:04:16.12\00:04:17.75 Dwayne? Wayne speaks of what actually 00:04:17.99\00:04:21.19 took place in our lives. We had an active Christian 00:04:21.22\00:04:23.76 and a healthy Adventist environment. 00:04:23.79\00:04:25.96 But one of the things that makes our testimony unique: 00:04:26.09\00:04:28.60 with all of that around us we still found it important 00:04:28.63\00:04:32.50 to find trouble. And so anywhere there was trouble 00:04:32.53\00:04:35.00 unfortunately you found Wayne and I. 00:04:35.14\00:04:37.44 And within that very sacred cocoon 00:04:37.57\00:04:39.87 we often found ourselves at the epicenter of things that 00:04:40.11\00:04:43.38 were not necessarily in our best interest. 00:04:43.51\00:04:45.81 So our testimony sometimes... You remember the story of the 00:04:46.05\00:04:48.68 Prodigal Son. And everybody focused on the son who left 00:04:48.72\00:04:52.09 but there was a son that was in the home and still was 00:04:52.22\00:04:55.39 struggling. And he almost was... Everybody forgot about him 00:04:55.42\00:04:59.76 because he actually did the proverbial right thing. 00:04:59.89\00:05:02.36 And Wayne and my testimony a lot of the times 00:05:02.60\00:05:05.07 are for Seventh-day Adventist young people who are in our 00:05:05.20\00:05:08.44 midst and they are still struggling with the critical 00:05:08.47\00:05:12.24 issues that affect youth all over the world. 00:05:12.27\00:05:14.98 They still are in our midst, 00:05:15.11\00:05:16.98 and if we don't focus on the critical issues that they're 00:05:17.11\00:05:20.28 facing, we think that they're OK just because they're around us, 00:05:20.45\00:05:25.29 just because they attend worship and they do everything 00:05:25.42\00:05:28.56 that we want to hear. So we had the morning watch. 00:05:28.59\00:05:32.19 We were members of Pathfinders. 00:05:32.43\00:05:34.83 Dwayne and I went from being pre-Pathfinders - Adventurers - 00:05:34.96\00:05:38.37 right up... Rangers. We did Youth Sabbath School. 00:05:38.50\00:05:43.51 Dwayne and I were very active in our faith 00:05:43.64\00:05:46.11 but we were still estranged from our faith. 00:05:46.14\00:05:49.14 We were very good in sports. 00:05:49.28\00:05:51.38 The majority... Yeah, finish your sentence. 00:05:51.61\00:05:54.28 The majority of the sports that we wanted to participate in 00:05:54.42\00:05:57.32 were held on Friday nights. 00:05:57.45\00:05:59.05 Our mother would not even consider it. 00:05:59.19\00:06:01.06 We were very good at what you would call soccer... 00:06:01.19\00:06:04.63 what we would call football here in Bermuda. 00:06:04.66\00:06:06.49 We couldn't be. We had our mother make sure 00:06:06.73\00:06:08.93 that we went to football training but guess what? 00:06:08.96\00:06:11.57 When it was for the match that was on a Sabbath morning 00:06:11.70\00:06:13.97 Dwayne and I could never play. 00:06:14.10\00:06:15.90 So here we were: two young men that were living in a community 00:06:16.14\00:06:18.51 a part of a faith, but we were being estranged from everything 00:06:18.64\00:06:21.74 and everyone because we were not able to be full participants. 00:06:21.88\00:06:25.75 And that has got to be a very frustrating thing 00:06:25.88\00:06:31.15 for young men who are active and successful in sports. 00:06:31.29\00:06:35.09 You know, if you're good at something and you can't 00:06:35.32\00:06:37.83 practice it, that's got to be very frustrating. 00:06:37.86\00:06:40.33 So I can imagine that now there's this dissonance here 00:06:40.46\00:06:43.87 between your faith and your ability in sports. 00:06:43.90\00:06:48.40 And I want to explore that, but I want to go back 00:06:48.64\00:06:51.34 for a second because you guys have given me 00:06:51.47\00:06:53.24 quite a bit of meat here to chew on. 00:06:53.38\00:06:55.68 First of all, you said that your dad 00:06:55.91\00:06:58.75 was a very strong man steeped in black culture 00:06:59.75\00:07:04.29 as a result of having been in New York 00:07:04.42\00:07:06.96 and Malcolm X and all of that. Sure. 00:07:07.09\00:07:09.59 Let's talk a little bit about the importance 00:07:09.62\00:07:13.93 of the father in the home. 00:07:14.03\00:07:16.13 What does that strong father give to his sons in the home? 00:07:16.36\00:07:22.34 When you look at some of the challenges that the African male 00:07:22.37\00:07:26.91 is having throughout the diaspora... not only in North 00:07:26.94\00:07:29.04 America but through the Caribbean and through Africa, 00:07:29.08\00:07:32.31 one thing that is clear is that the odds for a successful 00:07:32.45\00:07:36.22 and a thriving man are far greater if there is 00:07:36.25\00:07:39.12 a male in the home. If there is an emotionally-connected present 00:07:39.25\00:07:44.59 male in the home. We are... And we believe that a Christian 00:07:44.73\00:07:48.76 home - a two-parent home - is God's ideal. 00:07:48.90\00:07:51.37 We believe that having a Seventh-day Adventist father 00:07:51.50\00:07:54.47 in the home is a part of God's ideal plan. 00:07:54.50\00:07:56.57 So many times in the culture in the black community 00:07:56.91\00:08:00.08 we have men that are not active and present in our families. 00:08:00.11\00:08:04.15 And so oftentimes when a man wants to model 00:08:04.38\00:08:07.08 manhood, when we wants to see conflict resolved, 00:08:07.22\00:08:09.98 when we wants to be taught responsibility, 00:08:10.12\00:08:12.02 there are women that are teaching him those elements 00:08:12.15\00:08:15.26 of his past, of his future, and of his present. 00:08:15.29\00:08:18.69 And oftentimes when we see young men that are developing 00:08:18.73\00:08:22.16 spiritually they're looking for a model that is given to us 00:08:22.30\00:08:25.23 from a Biblical perspective. 00:08:25.37\00:08:26.70 If they cannot see the evi- dence in their immediate home, 00:08:26.84\00:08:29.84 they can see a chasm or a bit of a disconnect 00:08:29.97\00:08:33.54 in their lives. Oftentimes what was our saving grace: 00:08:33.68\00:08:37.45 in our faith in Bermuda we had a lot of elders, 00:08:37.58\00:08:40.32 we had a lot of deacons, we had a lot of Pathfinder 00:08:40.45\00:08:43.15 leaders, we had a lot of men including our father 00:08:43.18\00:08:46.29 that played a strong surrogate role. Now we realize 00:08:46.42\00:08:50.69 that was a good event. 00:08:50.73\00:08:53.73 As an Adventist, our system inadvertently 00:08:53.86\00:08:56.67 gave us our saving grace. 00:08:56.80\00:08:58.47 What does that mean? It allowed us to have men in our lives 00:08:58.60\00:09:03.54 that were Christian strong, grounded men 00:09:03.67\00:09:06.91 that were playing an active role in our lives. 00:09:06.94\00:09:09.54 And see... that is such a critical piece 00:09:09.78\00:09:12.21 because that is what's missing in our community today. 00:09:12.35\00:09:16.99 So many of our households are single-parent, female-run 00:09:17.12\00:09:21.92 households. And there are various reasons for that. 00:09:22.06\00:09:25.86 But it is so important for our men to know 00:09:26.09\00:09:30.77 that even if you don't have any children 00:09:30.90\00:09:33.87 our communities - our kids - need for active, engaged 00:09:34.10\00:09:39.31 men to step up to the plate and say: "Hey, I'm going to 00:09:39.44\00:09:42.64 mentor someone in church. " You just said you had 00:09:42.68\00:09:46.05 Pathfinder leaders and elders and deacons 00:09:46.08\00:09:48.75 that were there to help... to mentor you. 00:09:48.88\00:09:53.19 That's what we need in our churches. 00:09:53.32\00:09:55.69 Dwayne, how do you feel that that impacted your life? 00:09:55.92\00:09:59.23 Having a strong male figure in the home: how do you feel 00:09:59.36\00:10:02.80 that impacted you? Well I think one of the saving 00:10:02.83\00:10:05.57 graces to Wayne and my story is that we were undergirded by 00:10:05.60\00:10:09.24 men in our community who actually aided us 00:10:09.37\00:10:12.21 in our development. One of the things we talk about 00:10:12.24\00:10:14.91 in our faith a lot are men being present. 00:10:14.94\00:10:18.15 But there's one thing to be present and there is another 00:10:18.28\00:10:21.48 thing to be an active agent of change. 00:10:21.52\00:10:23.95 And in the generation that preceded us 00:10:24.19\00:10:26.15 yes there have been men that were present 00:10:26.19\00:10:28.72 but have you been actively open to watch your children 00:10:28.86\00:10:32.49 develop. Have you been emotionally vested? 00:10:32.53\00:10:35.36 Have you been a Christ-like representative of His love 00:10:35.60\00:10:39.30 in your home? So it's just not enough 00:10:39.43\00:10:42.27 to be present. We want you to be actively engaged in the 00:10:42.40\00:10:46.24 development of your children. 00:10:46.27\00:10:47.88 There was a generation of men who believed all they had to do 00:10:48.01\00:10:51.71 is be present and financially provide. 00:10:51.85\00:10:54.75 And we're now saying: "Gentlemen: right now 00:10:54.92\00:10:57.62 we need you to do more than just provide and more than just 00:10:57.75\00:11:00.89 tell our young people what they're doing wrong. " 00:11:00.92\00:11:03.26 We grew up in a generation of Adventist men 00:11:03.49\00:11:06.09 who... old-school Adventist: here are the rules. 00:11:06.23\00:11:08.83 Here's what you do and don't do. 00:11:08.96\00:11:10.47 This is a different generation 00:11:10.50\00:11:12.50 and while we do not want to sacrifice the beauty of our 00:11:12.63\00:11:15.77 faith and what we consider to be the foundation and the 00:11:15.80\00:11:18.61 bedrock of our faith... which are the guidelines that God has 00:11:18.64\00:11:21.61 given us. We believe relationship development 00:11:21.64\00:11:25.01 a. a relationship with God; 00:11:25.15\00:11:27.25 b. a relationship with your spouse 00:11:27.48\00:11:29.68 or the person... the significant representative of your love 00:11:29.82\00:11:33.09 in your family. And to pour into your children so they 00:11:33.22\00:11:36.09 actually like you and love you. 00:11:36.12\00:11:38.83 It is important to be firm; it is important to be fair. 00:11:39.06\00:11:42.26 But sometimes you just have to be a nice and pleasant person 00:11:42.40\00:11:46.47 to be around. That is so so good 00:11:46.60\00:11:50.81 and so true. You know, in listening to you guys... 00:11:50.94\00:11:54.54 First of all, like I said, I love this book. 00:11:54.68\00:11:57.58 And you give experiences and then at the end 00:11:57.81\00:12:02.68 of the chapter you kind of tie it in to a lesson 00:12:02.82\00:12:05.39 so that it's not just experience for experience' sake, 00:12:05.62\00:12:09.19 there is a lesson here for the reader. 00:12:09.36\00:12:12.59 There's a lesson here for the young person 00:12:12.73\00:12:14.83 to help to motive them on their journey to success. 00:12:14.93\00:12:18.40 So I really appreciate that about you. You guys express 00:12:18.63\00:12:21.87 yourselves so well. But in your book you talk about 00:12:21.90\00:12:25.64 how at first in your early years 00:12:25.77\00:12:29.14 you were not academically... 00:12:29.28\00:12:31.98 you weren't academically motivated 00:12:33.65\00:12:35.98 and so you guys were focusing on other things. 00:12:36.12\00:12:39.05 Tell us a little bit about those early years 00:12:39.19\00:12:41.49 and how you functioned academically. 00:12:41.52\00:12:43.89 The challenge that Dwayne and I had in school is that 00:12:44.83\00:12:48.76 we were full of energy. 00:12:48.80\00:12:51.00 We were undisciplined. We were much more focused on having fun 00:12:51.23\00:12:55.80 and enjoying ourselves than on our academic pursuits. 00:12:55.94\00:12:58.71 A lot of times when you look at the structure of the curriculum 00:12:58.94\00:13:01.74 and understanding where we were at that time 00:13:01.88\00:13:04.11 the teachers did not understand. 00:13:04.25\00:13:05.75 The classroom had about 20-25 young people in the classroom, 00:13:05.88\00:13:09.58 and so there were so many different factors that Dwayne 00:13:09.72\00:13:11.92 and I just found ourselves in a position that we were not 00:13:11.95\00:13:15.46 in an environment that was meeting our academic needs. 00:13:15.59\00:13:18.53 As a result of that, we started to struggle academically. 00:13:18.76\00:13:21.60 We looked at school as a place where we were not doing well 00:13:21.73\00:13:26.47 academically, so it was a place where we could show out, 00:13:26.50\00:13:28.94 have fun, and teachers found us very difficult to manage. 00:13:29.07\00:13:32.41 When we were in what is called middle school now 00:13:32.74\00:13:35.24 we were asked at the end of our first year in middle school 00:13:35.28\00:13:38.25 not to return to school. Can you imagine: 00:13:38.38\00:13:41.35 at 12 years old being formally asked not to return to school 00:13:41.48\00:13:45.42 in the fall? Our mother was besotted with grief. 00:13:45.45\00:13:48.69 She was at a turning point. 00:13:48.82\00:13:50.09 I would like to stop here for a second. 00:13:50.23\00:13:51.76 You have mothers that are doing their all, sacrificing, 00:13:52.19\00:13:55.60 working from can-see morning to can-see night 00:13:55.73\00:13:58.47 to make sure that the children get everything 00:13:58.60\00:14:00.70 and something like this happens. The teacher said to my mother 00:14:00.84\00:14:04.11 that not only did Dwayne and I not have the academic pedigree 00:14:04.24\00:14:07.68 to continue, that they ascribed the highest height that we would 00:14:07.71\00:14:11.01 achieve... She said that one of your sons would definitely 00:14:11.05\00:14:13.72 end up in prison and the highest that the other could go 00:14:13.75\00:14:16.55 he will be on the back of a trash truck. 00:14:16.69\00:14:18.89 Those were the... that was what my mother was told: 00:14:19.02\00:14:21.46 that's the most she should expect from Dwayne and I. 00:14:21.49\00:14:23.96 My... now can you? Oh... 00:14:24.19\00:14:26.49 Hearing those words had to pierce the heart of your mom, 00:14:27.03\00:14:32.33 number one, and also I'm sure it didn't do... 00:14:32.47\00:14:35.47 If you guys heard this, it didn't do much for your 00:14:35.60\00:14:38.27 self-esteem either. What we recognize now is that 00:14:38.31\00:14:41.71 life and death is in the power of our tongue and our actions. 00:14:41.84\00:14:45.55 Yes. And it's actually a responsibility of our teachers. 00:14:45.58\00:14:49.38 Teachers are called of God. 00:14:49.52\00:14:51.52 And just like we hear of ministers 00:14:51.65\00:14:53.49 not everyone can be a teacher. Teachers are there to inspire. 00:14:53.62\00:14:57.69 The beautiful thing about what transpired 00:14:57.83\00:14:59.89 in Wayne and my life was my mother took us out of 00:14:59.93\00:15:03.03 public school. And let's be very clear: 00:15:03.06\00:15:05.10 there are phenomenal teachers in the public schools. 00:15:05.13\00:15:07.70 The school that we were at was just not a good fit for us. 00:15:07.84\00:15:11.17 And what we recognize is my mother recognized 00:15:11.41\00:15:14.31 she had to get us in a smaller environment. 00:15:14.44\00:15:16.78 And she put us in the Christian school. It's called Bermuda 00:15:16.91\00:15:20.32 Institute. We affectionally call it BI... which is a SDA school. 00:15:20.35\00:15:24.89 Now what happened when we went to BI, it was a much 00:15:25.02\00:15:28.29 relaxed environment. We had teachers that we could 00:15:28.32\00:15:31.16 model our lives after. They had worship, 00:15:31.19\00:15:33.60 and we were able to relax and be ourselves. 00:15:33.73\00:15:36.40 And what took place over the next four years was 00:15:36.67\00:15:39.60 a slow transformation of confidence. 00:15:39.73\00:15:42.87 Now the confidence came, ironically, because we had 00:15:43.10\00:15:46.37 teachers in the school that believed in us. 00:15:46.54\00:15:48.78 One gentlemen - he's actually passed on now - 00:15:48.91\00:15:50.58 his name was Mandell Hill. 00:15:50.61\00:15:52.95 Mandell Hill was at the time 22 years old 00:15:53.08\00:15:55.95 and he had just graduated from Oakwood College. 00:15:55.98\00:15:59.25 And he came back as a history teacher. 00:15:59.49\00:16:02.22 And he was somebody that Wayne and I could relate to. 00:16:02.46\00:16:05.96 And in seeing him, we recognized that his success was something 00:16:06.09\00:16:11.07 that we could model. And watching his life, 00:16:11.10\00:16:14.90 watching his leadership, watching his spirituality 00:16:15.04\00:16:17.27 became a very key step in our development forward. 00:16:17.41\00:16:21.14 You know, excuse me one second Wayne. I'm going to bring you 00:16:21.28\00:16:23.88 back in, but what you said Dwayne. It's so important 00:16:23.91\00:16:27.92 for parents to know that the school that their children 00:16:28.05\00:16:31.82 or their child is in might be a great school 00:16:31.85\00:16:35.22 but it's not necessarily a good fit for that student, 00:16:35.36\00:16:40.33 for that child. And that's a really great point 00:16:40.50\00:16:43.16 because parents often... You know, you want your kid 00:16:43.20\00:16:45.83 to get a really good education so you put that child 00:16:45.87\00:16:48.84 into a certain environment. But it might not be the right 00:16:48.87\00:16:52.87 environment for that child. 00:16:52.91\00:16:55.11 And so you guys were taken from that Warwick School 00:16:55.34\00:16:59.21 if I recall correctly, Warwick School 00:16:59.35\00:17:01.38 and put into BI, and everything kind of changed 00:17:01.52\00:17:05.29 because it was a good fit for you. 00:17:05.42\00:17:08.16 Not just the religious aspects of it, which are critical, 00:17:08.39\00:17:12.79 but also academically. It sounds as though 00:17:12.93\00:17:15.70 it was... You said it was a more relaxed atmosphere. 00:17:15.83\00:17:19.10 It was... They had worship. 00:17:19.23\00:17:21.37 It just was a better fit. 00:17:21.50\00:17:23.54 And I think that's a very important point 00:17:23.67\00:17:25.84 for parents to hear. It's not that this is an indictment 00:17:25.97\00:17:29.98 on public school so much as it is this Adventist school 00:17:30.11\00:17:33.95 was a better fit for you. 00:17:34.08\00:17:35.88 Here's what we learned even about children today: 00:17:36.02\00:17:38.59 you have to be so in tune with God 00:17:39.02\00:17:43.06 that you become in tune with your child. 00:17:43.19\00:17:46.33 And we're advocating: be so in love with God and your child 00:17:46.46\00:17:51.10 that you understand the needs of your children. 00:17:51.23\00:17:55.00 Oftentimes we put our children in environments 00:17:55.14\00:17:58.17 that we think are the best for them, but we don't take 00:17:58.31\00:18:01.41 into consideration the specific needs, the learning styles, 00:18:01.44\00:18:06.35 the cultural nuances of an environment. 00:18:06.48\00:18:10.05 What we're saying is be so in tune with your child: 00:18:10.09\00:18:12.95 their learning style, their playing style, 00:18:13.09\00:18:15.82 everything around them, and then ask God to give you the wisdom 00:18:15.96\00:18:19.19 and the power and the discernment to create spaces... 00:18:19.23\00:18:23.63 safe spaces. That safe space is at church. 00:18:23.77\00:18:26.30 That safe space in the community. 00:18:26.43\00:18:28.47 The pen of inspiration - Ellen Gould Harmon White - 00:18:28.70\00:18:31.97 she says education is "the harmonious development 00:18:32.11\00:18:35.88 of the mental, the physical, and the spiritual. " 00:18:35.91\00:18:38.45 So that means that an institution is a school. 00:18:38.48\00:18:42.78 But when you envelop your child in a healthy 00:18:42.82\00:18:45.89 environment where they can be themselves 00:18:45.92\00:18:48.09 culturally, physically, spiritually, 00:18:48.22\00:18:50.29 then they have education. So we are advocates 00:18:50.43\00:18:54.23 of finding the best environment for your child to succeed, 00:18:54.36\00:18:59.40 to be a representation of Christ's love, mercy. 00:18:59.53\00:19:02.37 For them to be helpful in their community. 00:19:02.40\00:19:05.11 For them to be helpful in their environment. 00:19:05.24\00:19:07.38 And why this is real to us is that my brother Dwayne's 00:19:07.51\00:19:11.48 daughters go to Bermuda Institute 00:19:11.51\00:19:13.28 which is a Seventh-day Adventist school here in Bermuda. 00:19:13.42\00:19:16.15 My daughter goes to boarding school at Kingsway College 00:19:16.28\00:19:19.89 which is a SDA boarding school right outside of Toronto. 00:19:20.02\00:19:24.33 Now I realized that Bermuda Institute was not a perfect fit 00:19:24.46\00:19:29.53 for my daughter. I wanted her to be at this age - 00:19:29.56\00:19:32.37 17 years old - I wanted her to be in a Christian environment. 00:19:32.40\00:19:35.87 I want her to continue to develop. 00:19:36.00\00:19:37.54 My wife and I had to go outside of what we thought was our 00:19:37.87\00:19:40.51 comfort zone and find a school. 00:19:40.54\00:19:42.58 We looked in North America; we looked in the Caribbean. 00:19:42.61\00:19:44.85 We found a school. Kingsway College is an Adventist 00:19:44.98\00:19:48.48 high school in Toronto that was an excellent fit for her 00:19:48.62\00:19:52.39 so she can understand how... Something that I did share 00:19:52.52\00:19:57.56 and I want to just reiterate it now with your leave 00:19:57.59\00:19:59.56 is that I found out late in life that I had dyslexia. 00:19:59.69\00:20:04.03 And something that we have to understand is that 00:20:05.07\00:20:07.87 Dwayne and I later in life had to take responsibility 00:20:08.10\00:20:11.27 for our playing around... for us not being serious. 00:20:11.41\00:20:13.68 We couldn't blame the school. 00:20:13.91\00:20:15.24 We couldn't blame our parents. 00:20:15.38\00:20:16.64 There became a point in our personal and academic lives 00:20:16.78\00:20:20.52 where we were just shocking and jiving and playing the monkey. 00:20:20.55\00:20:24.35 We had to settle down and realize that if we were to 00:20:24.49\00:20:27.99 make a difference in the world that we had to get focused 00:20:28.02\00:20:31.53 academically. No father, no son, no school, 00:20:31.56\00:20:36.13 no element... No one could do that. 00:20:36.26\00:20:38.37 We had to do that, come to that realization on our own. 00:20:38.40\00:20:41.60 Wayne: this is so, so, so important because you 00:20:41.87\00:20:45.87 cannot live a life of blaming everybody else 00:20:46.01\00:20:50.55 for whatever... our issues. 00:20:50.68\00:20:55.15 Nobody denies that there are issues: 00:20:55.28\00:20:57.49 systemic racism... you know... disproportionate incarceration. 00:20:57.52\00:21:01.59 All of that stuff. We know that. 00:21:01.82\00:21:03.76 But what about our responsibility? 00:21:03.89\00:21:06.70 What about our personal responsibility? 00:21:06.93\00:21:09.00 This is so good because people need to understand 00:21:09.03\00:21:13.23 that it's not just about what somebody did to me. No! 00:21:13.37\00:21:17.67 What am I doing to make my life better? 00:21:17.91\00:21:20.91 How am I assuming responsibility for my life? 00:21:21.04\00:21:24.28 So that is so critical. At what point did you guys 00:21:24.51\00:21:27.28 decide that you had to do that? 00:21:27.42\00:21:30.02 It's a very important point. 00:21:30.35\00:21:32.55 We were at Oakwood University. Oakwood University is a small 00:21:32.69\00:21:35.99 Adventist university nestled in the awesome confines of 00:21:36.12\00:21:39.59 Huntsville, Alabama. 00:21:39.63\00:21:40.76 Dwayne and I left Bermuda undisciplined, but our parents 00:21:40.80\00:21:44.43 wanted us to go to university and we landed at Oakwood. 00:21:44.47\00:21:47.14 Once we landed at Oakwood it was a perfect environment 00:21:47.27\00:21:49.77 for us: small classrooms, dedicated teachers, 00:21:49.80\00:21:52.41 strong academic environment. 00:21:52.54\00:21:54.28 When we got to Oakwood something socially happened. 00:21:54.51\00:21:56.75 The guys around us and the girls around us 00:21:57.18\00:21:59.65 they loved to have fun just as much as us 00:21:59.78\00:22:02.18 but they were focused in school. 00:22:02.32\00:22:03.49 And so we wanted to take part of leadership and be in the... 00:22:03.62\00:22:06.99 I joined the Aeolians, and you couldn't be a part of 00:22:07.02\00:22:09.42 the Aeolians if you didn't have a certain GPA. 00:22:09.46\00:22:11.53 The girls that were gorgeous... they just didn't want to be 00:22:11.66\00:22:13.63 around a guy that was on academic probation. 00:22:13.66\00:22:15.63 And so... It always comes down to the woman. 00:22:15.86\00:22:19.13 I noticed that in the book... that women played a large role 00:22:21.67\00:22:25.41 when... with the way you guys were going. 00:22:25.44\00:22:28.08 The French say cherchez la femme. 00:22:28.31\00:22:31.25 Find a woman, yes? If you oftentimes... 00:22:31.38\00:22:34.18 Dwayne and I are no strangers so we don't want to tell 00:22:34.32\00:22:37.02 a disingenuous story. Dwayne and I were not angels. 00:22:37.05\00:22:40.36 We were not academically focused. But let me share 00:22:40.49\00:22:42.52 something with you. Two things that a person must 00:22:42.56\00:22:44.79 have if they're going to go and change the trajectory 00:22:44.83\00:22:47.56 of their life. Number 1: they have to have passion 00:22:47.60\00:22:50.17 about something and they have to find a purpose. 00:22:50.30\00:22:52.63 What is passion? What do we talk about when 00:22:52.77\00:22:54.20 we're talking about passion? We're talking about something... 00:22:54.24\00:22:56.44 we're talking about something that is God-seed in your life. 00:22:56.47\00:22:59.94 The French also call it the raison d'être: 00:23:00.21\00:23:02.38 the reason for being. 00:23:02.51\00:23:03.95 There has to be something that gets you and motivates you. 00:23:03.98\00:23:06.31 After you've found what you're passionate about 00:23:06.45\00:23:08.38 you have to ask God to show you a purpose. 00:23:08.52\00:23:10.92 What was I put on the planet to do? 00:23:11.15\00:23:14.49 Why am I on this earth? 00:23:14.62\00:23:16.09 So many times you find people that are passionless. 00:23:16.22\00:23:19.19 They do not have a purpose. 00:23:19.33\00:23:20.53 And so they go flailing and purposeless, aimlessly 00:23:20.66\00:23:24.10 walking through life. God has given us a spiritual purpose. 00:23:24.23\00:23:27.34 We know what is our ultimate responsibility 00:23:27.47\00:23:29.97 and that is to tell somebody else about Him. 00:23:30.11\00:23:32.31 How was Dwayne and I? How would we take our gifts? 00:23:32.44\00:23:37.51 Dwayne was very good with people, so he always could talk 00:23:37.68\00:23:40.38 and "Oh, you are a great speaker. " 00:23:40.42\00:23:41.85 I wanted to be a lawyer. 00:23:41.88\00:23:43.05 You ask: "How could I be a lawyer 00:23:43.08\00:23:44.79 if I didn't get good grades? " 00:23:44.92\00:23:46.65 I was very passionate about the community. 00:23:46.79\00:23:48.79 Rodney King... I think it was 1991 00:23:48.92\00:23:51.39 Rodney King had some difficulty in California 00:23:51.53\00:23:55.10 and they had a big unrest on our campus. 00:23:55.23\00:23:57.17 And I was one of the student leaders that brought the campus 00:23:57.40\00:24:00.14 together and we had a march. It was at that point 00:24:00.17\00:24:02.90 where He nitched me like the burning bush. 00:24:03.04\00:24:05.27 God showed me what He can do through Dwayne and I 00:24:05.41\00:24:08.48 if we got focused. If I, with laser-like focus, 00:24:08.51\00:24:11.95 started to dedicate myself not only to kingdom building - 00:24:11.98\00:24:16.42 i.e. getting myself and others ready for the kingdom - 00:24:16.58\00:24:18.85 but I had to be very serious about my academic studies. 00:24:18.99\00:24:21.79 I had to occupy the space that I was in 00:24:21.92\00:24:24.09 and give glory to God through my academics. 00:24:24.23\00:24:26.33 I had to be able to - after getting diagnosed with 00:24:26.46\00:24:29.00 dyslexia - stop feeling sorry for yourself. 00:24:29.03\00:24:31.20 So you have dyslexia... so what? 00:24:31.33\00:24:33.40 I had to find a passion of academics and a plan 00:24:33.54\00:24:37.14 and something that worked well for me and get over myself. 00:24:37.27\00:24:40.11 And get out of my way and stop making excuses 00:24:40.14\00:24:42.58 for myself so I could ultimately see my purpose fulfilled 00:24:42.61\00:24:46.08 through God's destiny. So... Oh, this is so good. 00:24:46.11\00:24:49.28 So: passion, and purpose, and a plan. 00:24:49.42\00:24:53.76 Yes. Three P's: passion, purpose, and a plan. 00:24:53.89\00:24:57.39 You had to have all of those to move forward. 00:24:57.53\00:25:00.50 Because it makes no sense to just have passion 00:25:00.63\00:25:04.03 when you don't know what you're passionate for. 00:25:04.17\00:25:06.33 What are you going to do with it? Where is it going to go? 00:25:06.47\00:25:08.94 But God will let you know. I call it... 00:25:08.97\00:25:11.17 Here on Dare to Dream we call it walking in your divine destiny. 00:25:11.51\00:25:14.78 I've seen it. When you know what you're supposed to do 00:25:14.91\00:25:17.85 and you're doing that, there's nothing better than that. 00:25:17.88\00:25:21.22 Do you agree, Dwayne? 00:25:21.25\00:25:22.75 I certainly second what he is saying. 00:25:22.92\00:25:25.42 I think right now we have a lot of young men, particularly 00:25:25.55\00:25:28.42 young black men around the world, who are just not walking 00:25:28.56\00:25:30.86 with a purpose and they feel sorry for themselves 00:25:30.89\00:25:33.90 and they are surrounded by individuals who are caught up 00:25:34.00\00:25:37.20 in that same position. And it breeds a level of despondency 00:25:37.33\00:25:41.20 which actually can be infectious 00:25:41.34\00:25:43.67 just like things that are positive are. 00:25:43.71\00:25:45.54 What we're saying is that you don't have to be a product 00:25:45.67\00:25:48.18 of your circumstances and that if you dare to dream 00:25:48.21\00:25:51.21 find a Christ-driven purpose. 00:25:51.35\00:25:53.88 Because some people have a purpose, but it's not 00:25:53.92\00:25:56.05 Christ-centered. Remember, if your motives are pure... 00:25:56.08\00:25:59.62 I was told to take advantage of opportunity 00:25:59.65\00:26:02.99 but never to take advantage of people. 00:26:03.12\00:26:05.19 Keep your motive pure; keep your divine purpose in step 00:26:05.33\00:26:09.40 with God's plan. The great Wintley Phipps said 00:26:09.43\00:26:13.44 "You don't have to compromise to be recognized. " 00:26:13.57\00:26:16.20 Stay within God's purpose. He can bless you if you stay 00:26:16.34\00:26:19.64 faithful to Him. Oftentimes we see what 00:26:19.67\00:26:23.48 the quick-fix brings. But God said if you stay 00:26:23.61\00:26:26.45 faithful to Me, He is faithful and just to do just what He says 00:26:26.58\00:26:30.02 and that is to provide you with the blessings of your heart. 00:26:30.15\00:26:34.32 But you must be faithful. Absolutely... absolutely. 00:26:34.36\00:26:37.69 I want to put up your website because 00:26:37.73\00:26:40.16 you guys are such an inspiration. 00:26:40.20\00:26:43.20 I know that there are different churches 00:26:43.43\00:26:46.43 around the country and actually around the world 00:26:46.57\00:26:49.44 that people will be watching and they're going to want to 00:26:49.57\00:26:52.67 invite you to come to their churches. Do you have? 00:26:52.71\00:26:55.78 In 30 seconds, do you both have 00:26:55.81\00:26:58.65 a thought for a young man that's struggling right now? 00:26:58.78\00:27:02.62 If you are a young man or a young woman and you find 00:27:02.85\00:27:06.39 yourself in a position where you feel as if 00:27:06.42\00:27:09.19 you don't matter, if you feel as if everything 00:27:09.42\00:27:12.73 is going against you, if you feel that you can't 00:27:12.76\00:27:14.86 talk to your parents and that being a SDA is actually a joke, 00:27:14.93\00:27:18.43 how can this church that was started in 1844 00:27:18.57\00:27:21.47 actually make a difference in my life? 00:27:21.60\00:27:23.77 Dwayne and I have been exactly where you have been. 00:27:23.91\00:27:26.41 We stopped depending on the church to change our lives. 00:27:26.64\00:27:31.65 We stopped blaming our elders and our deacons 00:27:31.81\00:27:34.52 and we realized that we had a responsibility 00:27:34.65\00:27:37.22 in developing ourselves and pushing ourselves 00:27:37.39\00:27:39.99 through God to make a difference in our life. 00:27:40.12\00:27:41.89 That's great. Dwayne, what do you think? 00:27:42.22\00:27:44.49 God wants men... He wants bold, strong men 00:27:44.73\00:27:48.13 who are ready for this time who are willing to stand. 00:27:48.16\00:27:51.60 He needs us to be a representative of His truth, 00:27:51.73\00:27:54.90 mercy, and love. 00:27:55.04\00:27:56.47 Praise the Lord! Thank you so much for being with us. 00:27:56.71\00:27:59.61 And thank you for joining us. 00:27:59.74\00:28:01.58 Join us next time... it just wouldn't be the same 00:28:01.71\00:28:03.88 without you. 00:28:03.91\00:28:05.65