Stay tuned to meet a pair of twins that dared to dream 00:00:01.06\00:00:03.88 of a better life... and found it. 00:00:03.98\00:00:06.00 My name is Yvonne Lewis 00:00:06.20\00:00:07.44 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:00:07.64\00:00:09.48 Hello! And welcome to Urban Report. 00:00:30.03\00:00:32.17 My guests today are Wayne and Dwayne Caines: 00:00:32.57\00:00:35.74 authors, speakers, and entrepreneurs. 00:00:35.94\00:00:38.56 Wayne is presently the CEO of Digicel Bermuda, 00:00:38.66\00:00:42.03 the largest telecommunications company on the island. 00:00:42.13\00:00:44.99 And Dwyane is the public relations manager 00:00:45.29\00:00:47.67 for the Bermuda Police Service. 00:00:47.87\00:00:49.47 Welcome to Urban Report Wayne and Dwayne. 00:00:49.77\00:00:52.24 Welcome and thanks for having us. 00:00:52.65\00:00:54.09 Thank you for the opportunity. 00:00:54.19\00:00:55.52 It is so great to have you here. 00:00:55.74\00:00:57.53 You guys have such an interesting story. 00:00:57.83\00:01:01.81 And it's interesting because I met Wayne 00:01:02.11\00:01:05.31 at Oakwood University, and Wayne had his book - 00:01:05.61\00:01:09.40 you guys' book - Double Vision. 00:01:09.61\00:01:12.60 This book is so good. 00:01:13.00\00:01:15.86 I recommend it to everybody to read. 00:01:16.07\00:01:18.45 It's funny, it's insightful, it's inspiring. 00:01:18.65\00:01:23.31 You guys have had quite an interesting journey. 00:01:23.55\00:01:26.79 So I'd like to talk to both of you 00:01:26.99\00:01:29.24 about your journey together 00:01:29.44\00:01:32.56 as well as your different personalities and just how you 00:01:32.76\00:01:37.13 grew up. So let's talk a little bit first about how you grew up, 00:01:37.23\00:01:40.69 where you grew up, and some of the experiences that you had. 00:01:40.89\00:01:44.12 Let's start with Wayne. 00:01:45.19\00:01:47.39 We live and were raised on the beautiful island of Bermuda 00:01:47.60\00:01:52.67 that is nestled in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean 00:01:52.97\00:01:55.97 right on the balmy shores in a very peaceful and loving island. 00:01:56.17\00:02:01.15 Dwayne and I were raised 00:02:01.45\00:02:02.64 in a Seventh-day Adventist household. 00:02:02.74\00:02:04.95 Our mother is from Jamaica, 00:02:05.15\00:02:06.67 and growing up in Bermuda she instilled the values 00:02:06.97\00:02:10.28 of our faith and discipline. 00:02:10.38\00:02:12.18 As you can imagine, we were young men - young twins - 00:02:12.38\00:02:16.21 in an island. We were mischievous. 00:02:16.41\00:02:17.82 We had a lot of fun. We enjoyed a lot of mayhem 00:02:18.02\00:02:22.54 and causing trouble in our local church. 00:02:22.74\00:02:25.08 We had a very firm Christian foundation. 00:02:25.28\00:02:29.34 And the reason why this is important - 00:02:29.64\00:02:30.81 and I'd like to just spend a minute here - 00:02:31.02\00:02:32.42 is because oftentimes we have a very unique faith. 00:02:32.62\00:02:36.13 As Seventh-day Adventist Christians, we were raised to 00:02:36.43\00:02:39.87 understand the importance of our faith. 00:02:39.97\00:02:41.88 We were taught to respect the Sabbath. 00:02:42.08\00:02:43.90 We were taught the importance of loving those in your 00:02:44.10\00:02:46.79 immediate circle. We had a complete understanding 00:02:46.89\00:02:50.19 of the discipline of our faith. 00:02:50.29\00:02:51.74 On the things that we could do and what we couldn't do 00:02:51.94\00:02:54.06 and how our character and reflecting the character 00:02:54.26\00:02:56.46 of Christ was very important for us... not only in our household 00:02:56.56\00:03:00.15 but in our community. Excuse me a second. So your home, then, 00:03:00.18\00:03:05.98 set the tone for your behavior in a sense? 00:03:06.18\00:03:10.21 Because your parents... you had a two-parent household... 00:03:10.42\00:03:13.36 you came from a strong Christian background. 00:03:13.56\00:03:16.52 Did your home then set the tone for your perspective 00:03:16.82\00:03:22.80 on your faith and education? 00:03:23.10\00:03:25.27 Here is what's interesting. My father wasn't an Adventist 00:03:25.57\00:03:28.43 until I was 13, so growing up my father 00:03:28.63\00:03:32.27 who grew up in North America - who grew up in New York - 00:03:32.47\00:03:35.13 he was growing up in New York City during the time of 00:03:35.33\00:03:39.27 Malcolm X. He was a man that was deeply connected to his culture, 00:03:39.47\00:03:44.18 the black culture. And so when he came back to Bermuda 00:03:44.38\00:03:47.37 after university in the United States of America 00:03:47.57\00:03:49.33 he was raised an Anglican but he was not a SDA. 00:03:49.63\00:03:53.97 My mother was a Seventh-day Adventist. 00:03:54.28\00:03:56.27 Our grandparents lived with us. 00:03:56.47\00:03:58.07 And she ensured that we were raised as Seventh-day Adventist 00:03:58.27\00:04:01.65 young men. 00:04:01.75\00:04:02.85 The thing that is very important 00:04:03.05\00:04:05.59 is that our parents - including my father - 00:04:05.79\00:04:08.00 had a very strong structure around us. 00:04:08.20\00:04:11.14 They ensured that we under- stood what it was to be 00:04:11.34\00:04:14.03 Christian young men but more importantly to 00:04:14.23\00:04:16.10 respect those around us. 00:04:16.20\00:04:17.78 Dwayne? Wayne speaks of what actually 00:04:18.08\00:04:21.23 took place in our lives. We had an active Christian 00:04:21.33\00:04:23.79 and a healthy Adventist environment. 00:04:23.89\00:04:25.97 But one of the things that makes our testimony unique: 00:04:26.17\00:04:28.66 with all of that around us we still found it important 00:04:28.76\00:04:32.55 to find trouble. And so anywhere there was trouble 00:04:32.65\00:04:35.06 unfortunately you found Wayne and I. 00:04:35.26\00:04:37.49 And within that very sacred cocoon 00:04:37.69\00:04:39.93 we often found ourselves at the epicenter of things that 00:04:40.23\00:04:43.41 were not necessarily in our best interest. 00:04:43.61\00:04:45.86 So our testimony sometimes... You remember the story of the 00:04:46.16\00:04:48.71 Prodigal Son. And everybody focused on the son who left 00:04:48.81\00:04:52.12 but there was a son that was in the home and still was 00:04:52.32\00:04:55.43 struggling. And he almost was... Everybody forgot about him 00:04:55.53\00:04:59.77 because he actually did the proverbial right thing. 00:04:59.97\00:05:02.40 And Wayne and my testimony a lot of the times 00:05:02.70\00:05:05.12 are for Seventh-day Adventist young people who are in our 00:05:05.32\00:05:08.49 midst and they are still struggling with the critical 00:05:08.59\00:05:12.28 issues that affect youth all over the world. 00:05:12.38\00:05:15.02 They still are in our midst, 00:05:15.22\00:05:17.02 and if we don't focus on the critical issues that they're 00:05:17.22\00:05:20.33 facing, we think that they're OK just because they're around us, 00:05:20.54\00:05:25.30 just because they attend worship and they do everything 00:05:25.50\00:05:28.57 that we want to hear. So we had the morning watch. 00:05:28.67\00:05:32.22 We were members of Pathfinders. 00:05:32.52\00:05:34.89 Dwayne and I went from being pre-Pathfinders - Adventurers - 00:05:35.09\00:05:38.41 right up... Rangers. We did Youth Sabbath School. 00:05:38.61\00:05:43.55 Dwayne and I were very active in our faith 00:05:43.75\00:05:46.16 but we were still estranged from our faith. 00:05:46.26\00:05:49.19 We were very good in sports. 00:05:49.39\00:05:51.42 The majority... Yeah, finish your sentence. 00:05:51.72\00:05:54.32 The majority of the sports that we wanted to participate in 00:05:54.52\00:05:57.36 were held on Friday nights. 00:05:57.56\00:05:59.08 Our mother would not even consider it. 00:05:59.29\00:06:01.07 We were very good at what you would call soccer... 00:06:01.27\00:06:04.65 what we would call football here in Bermuda. 00:06:04.75\00:06:06.52 We couldn't be. We had our mother make sure 00:06:06.82\00:06:08.99 that we went to football training but guess what? 00:06:09.09\00:06:11.61 When it was for the match that was on a Sabbath morning 00:06:11.81\00:06:14.00 Dwayne and I could never play. 00:06:14.20\00:06:15.94 So here we were: two young men that were living in a community 00:06:16.24\00:06:18.56 a part of a faith, but we were being estranged from everything 00:06:18.76\00:06:21.79 and everyone because we were not able to be full participants. 00:06:21.99\00:06:25.79 And that has got to be a very frustrating thing 00:06:25.99\00:06:31.17 for young men who are active and successful in sports. 00:06:31.38\00:06:35.12 You know, if you're good at something and you can't 00:06:35.42\00:06:37.84 practice it, that's got to be very frustrating. 00:06:37.95\00:06:40.36 So I can imagine that now there's this dissonance here 00:06:40.56\00:06:43.92 between your faith and your ability in sports. 00:06:44.02\00:06:48.44 And I want to explore that, but I want to go back 00:06:48.74\00:06:51.39 for a second because you guys have given me 00:06:51.59\00:06:53.29 quite a bit of meat here to chew on. 00:06:53.49\00:06:55.72 First of all, you said that your dad 00:06:56.02\00:06:58.78 was a very strong man steeped in black culture 00:06:59.84\00:07:04.31 as a result of having been in New York 00:07:04.51\00:07:06.99 and Malcolm X and all of that. Sure. 00:07:07.19\00:07:09.56 Let's talk a little bit about the importance 00:07:09.70\00:07:13.95 of the father in the home. 00:07:14.15\00:07:16.19 What does that strong father give to his sons in the home? 00:07:16.49\00:07:22.35 When you look at some of the challenges that the African male 00:07:22.48\00:07:26.95 is having throughout the diaspora... not only in North 00:07:27.05\00:07:29.09 America but through the Caribbean and through Africa, 00:07:29.19\00:07:32.34 one thing that is clear is that the odds for a successful 00:07:32.54\00:07:36.24 and a thriving man are far greater if there is 00:07:36.34\00:07:39.16 a male in the home. If there is an emotionally-connected present 00:07:39.35\00:07:44.60 male in the home. We are... And we believe that a Christian 00:07:44.80\00:07:48.82 home - a two-parent home - is God's ideal. 00:07:49.03\00:07:51.40 We believe that having a Seventh-day Adventist father 00:07:51.60\00:07:54.51 in the home is a part of God's ideal plan. 00:07:54.61\00:07:56.60 So many times in the culture in the black community 00:07:57.00\00:08:00.03 we have men that are not active and present in our families. 00:08:00.23\00:08:04.17 And so oftentimes when a man wants to model 00:08:04.47\00:08:07.12 manhood, when we wants to see conflict resolved, 00:08:07.32\00:08:10.03 when we wants to be taught responsibility, 00:08:10.23\00:08:12.05 there are women that are teaching him those elements 00:08:12.26\00:08:15.28 of his past, of his future, and of his present. 00:08:15.38\00:08:18.77 And oftentimes when we see young men that are developing 00:08:18.80\00:08:22.22 spiritually they're looking for a model that is given to us 00:08:22.42\00:08:25.27 from a Biblical perspective. 00:08:25.47\00:08:26.75 If they cannot see the evi- dence in their immediate home, 00:08:26.96\00:08:29.89 they can see a chasm or a bit of a disconnect 00:08:30.09\00:08:33.58 in their lives. Oftentimes what was our saving grace: 00:08:33.79\00:08:37.49 in our faith in Bermuda we had a lot of elders, 00:08:37.69\00:08:40.34 we had a lot of deacons, we had a lot of Pathfinder 00:08:40.54\00:08:43.18 leaders, we had a lot of men including our father 00:08:43.28\00:08:46.32 that played a strong surrogate role. Now we realize 00:08:46.52\00:08:50.70 that was a good event. 00:08:50.80\00:08:53.74 As an Adventist, our system inadvertently 00:08:53.94\00:08:56.70 gave us our saving grace. 00:08:56.90\00:08:58.50 What does that mean? It allowed us to have men in our lives 00:08:58.70\00:09:03.58 that were Christian strong, grounded men 00:09:03.78\00:09:06.94 that were playing an active role in our lives. 00:09:07.04\00:09:09.59 And see... that is such a critical piece 00:09:09.89\00:09:12.26 because that is what's missing in our community today. 00:09:12.46\00:09:17.02 So many of our households are single-parent, female-run 00:09:17.22\00:09:21.95 households. And there are various reasons for that. 00:09:22.16\00:09:25.87 But it is so important for our men to know 00:09:26.18\00:09:30.82 that even if you don't have any children 00:09:31.02\00:09:33.90 our communities - our kids - need for active, engaged 00:09:34.20\00:09:39.34 men to step up to the plate and say: "Hey, I'm going to 00:09:39.54\00:09:42.69 mentor someone in church. " You just said you had 00:09:42.79\00:09:46.07 Pathfinder leaders and elders and deacons 00:09:46.17\00:09:48.79 that were there to help... to mentor you. 00:09:48.99\00:09:53.21 That's what we need in our churches. 00:09:53.41\00:09:55.73 Dwayne, how do you feel that that impacted your life? 00:09:56.03\00:09:59.24 Having a strong male figure in the home: how do you feel 00:09:59.44\00:10:02.85 that impacted you? Well I think one of the saving 00:10:02.95\00:10:05.62 graces to Wayne and my story is that we were undergirded by 00:10:05.72\00:10:09.29 men in our community who actually aided us 00:10:09.49\00:10:12.25 in our development. One of the things we talk about 00:10:12.35\00:10:14.94 in our faith a lot are men being present. 00:10:15.04\00:10:18.19 But there's one thing to be present and there is another 00:10:18.39\00:10:21.50 thing to be an active agent of change. 00:10:21.60\00:10:23.97 And in the generation that preceded us 00:10:24.27\00:10:26.18 yes there have been men that were present 00:10:26.28\00:10:28.74 but have you been actively open to watch your children 00:10:28.95\00:10:32.50 develop. Have you been emotionally vested? 00:10:32.60\00:10:35.40 Have you been a Christ-like representative of His love 00:10:35.70\00:10:39.35 in your home? So it's just not enough 00:10:39.55\00:10:42.31 to be present. We want you to be actively engaged in the 00:10:42.51\00:10:46.29 development of your children. 00:10:46.39\00:10:47.92 There was a generation of men who believed all they had to do 00:10:48.12\00:10:51.75 is be present and financially provide. 00:10:51.95\00:10:54.79 And we're now saying: "Gentlemen: right now 00:10:55.00\00:10:57.64 we need you to do more than just provide and more than just 00:10:57.84\00:11:00.90 tell our young people what they're doing wrong. " 00:11:01.00\00:11:03.27 We grew up in a generation of Adventist men 00:11:03.57\00:11:06.12 who... old-school Adventist: here are the rules. 00:11:06.32\00:11:08.88 Here's what you do and don't do. 00:11:09.08\00:11:10.50 This is a different generation 00:11:10.60\00:11:12.55 and while we do not want to sacrifice the beauty of our 00:11:12.75\00:11:15.81 faith and what we consider to be the foundation and the 00:11:15.91\00:11:18.64 bedrock of our faith... which are the guidelines that God has 00:11:18.74\00:11:21.64 given us. We believe relationship development 00:11:21.74\00:11:25.04 a. a relationship with God; 00:11:25.24\00:11:27.27 b. a relationship with your spouse 00:11:27.57\00:11:29.71 or the person... the significant representative of your love 00:11:29.91\00:11:33.13 in your family. And to pour into your children so they 00:11:33.33\00:11:36.13 actually like you and love you. 00:11:36.23\00:11:38.84 It is important to be firm; it is important to be fair. 00:11:39.15\00:11:42.33 But sometimes you just have to be a nice and pleasant person 00:11:42.53\00:11:46.52 to be around. That is so so good 00:11:46.72\00:11:50.85 and so true. You know, in listening to you guys... 00:11:51.06\00:11:54.58 First of all, like I said, I love this book. 00:11:54.78\00:11:57.62 And you give experiences and then at the end 00:11:57.92\00:12:02.70 of the chapter you kind of tie it in to a lesson 00:12:02.90\00:12:05.42 so that it's not just experience for experience' sake, 00:12:05.72\00:12:09.23 there is a lesson here for the reader. 00:12:09.46\00:12:12.63 There's a lesson here for the young person 00:12:12.83\00:12:14.84 to help to motive them on their journey to success. 00:12:15.04\00:12:18.44 So I really appreciate that about you. You guys express 00:12:18.74\00:12:21.93 yourselves so well. But in your book you talk about 00:12:22.03\00:12:25.68 how at first in your early years 00:12:25.88\00:12:29.18 you were not academically... 00:12:29.38\00:12:32.00 you weren't academically motivated 00:12:33.75\00:12:36.00 and so you guys were focusing on other things. 00:12:36.20\00:12:39.08 Tell us a little bit about those early years 00:12:39.28\00:12:41.52 and how you functioned academically. 00:12:41.62\00:12:43.90 The challenge that Dwayne and I had in school is that 00:12:44.90\00:12:48.80 we were full of energy. 00:12:48.90\00:12:51.05 We were undisciplined. We were much more focused on having fun 00:12:51.35\00:12:55.86 and enjoying ourselves than on our academic pursuits. 00:12:56.06\00:12:58.75 A lot of times when you look at the structure of the curriculum 00:12:59.05\00:13:01.79 and understanding where we were at that time 00:13:01.99\00:13:04.15 the teachers did not understand. 00:13:04.35\00:13:05.77 The classroom had about 20-25 young people in the classroom, 00:13:05.97\00:13:09.63 and so there were so many different factors that Dwayne 00:13:09.83\00:13:11.95 and I just found ourselves in a position that we were not 00:13:12.05\00:13:15.47 in an environment that was meeting our academic needs. 00:13:15.68\00:13:18.56 As a result of that, we started to struggle academically. 00:13:18.86\00:13:21.66 We looked at school as a place where we were not doing well 00:13:21.86\00:13:26.50 academically, so it was a place where we could show out, 00:13:26.60\00:13:28.99 have fun, and teachers found us very difficult to manage. 00:13:29.19\00:13:32.44 When we were in what is called middle school now 00:13:32.84\00:13:35.27 we were asked at the end of our first year in middle school 00:13:35.37\00:13:38.27 not to return to school. Can you imagine: 00:13:38.47\00:13:41.39 at 12 years old being formally asked not to return to school 00:13:41.59\00:13:45.44 in the fall? Our mother was besotted with grief. 00:13:45.54\00:13:48.70 She was at a turning point. 00:13:48.90\00:13:50.13 I would like to stop here for a second. 00:13:50.33\00:13:51.78 You have mothers that are doing their all, sacrificing, 00:13:52.29\00:13:55.64 working from can-see morning to can-see night 00:13:55.84\00:13:58.51 to make sure that the children get everything 00:13:58.71\00:14:00.75 and something like this happens. The teacher said to my mother 00:14:00.95\00:14:04.15 that not only did Dwayne and I not have the academic pedigree 00:14:04.35\00:14:07.71 to continue, that they ascribed the highest height that we would 00:14:07.81\00:14:11.04 achieve... She said that one of your sons would definitely 00:14:11.14\00:14:13.76 end up in prison and the highest that the other could go 00:14:13.86\00:14:16.57 he will be on the back of a trash truck. 00:14:16.77\00:14:18.93 Those were the... that was what my mother was told: 00:14:19.13\00:14:21.47 that's the most she should expect from Dwayne and I. 00:14:21.57\00:14:23.98 My... now can you? Oh... 00:14:24.28\00:14:26.53 Hearing those words had to pierce the heart of your mom, 00:14:27.13\00:14:32.38 number one, and also I'm sure it didn't do... 00:14:32.58\00:14:35.52 If you guys heard this, it didn't do much for your 00:14:35.72\00:14:38.31 self-esteem either. What we recognize now is that 00:14:38.41\00:14:41.75 life and death is in the power of our tongue and our actions. 00:14:41.95\00:14:45.58 Yes. And it's actually a responsibility of our teachers. 00:14:45.68\00:14:49.40 Teachers are called of God. 00:14:49.60\00:14:51.55 And just like we hear of ministers 00:14:51.75\00:14:53.53 not everyone can be a teacher. Teachers are there to inspire. 00:14:53.73\00:14:57.70 The beautiful thing about what transpired 00:14:57.90\00:14:59.95 in Wayne and my life was my mother took us out of 00:15:00.05\00:15:03.09 public school. And let's be very clear: 00:15:03.19\00:15:05.14 there are phenomenal teachers in the public schools. 00:15:05.24\00:15:07.74 The school that we were at was just not a good fit for us. 00:15:07.94\00:15:11.21 And what we recognize is my mother recognized 00:15:11.51\00:15:14.34 she had to get us in a smaller environment. 00:15:14.54\00:15:16.81 And she put us in the Christian school. It's called Bermuda 00:15:17.01\00:15:20.34 Institute. We affectionally call it BI... which is a SDA school. 00:15:20.44\00:15:24.90 Now what happened when we went to BI, it was a much 00:15:25.11\00:15:28.30 relaxed environment. We had teachers that we could 00:15:28.40\00:15:31.18 model our lives after. They had worship, 00:15:31.29\00:15:33.62 and we were able to relax and be ourselves. 00:15:33.83\00:15:36.46 And what took place over the next four years was 00:15:36.77\00:15:39.64 a slow transformation of confidence. 00:15:39.84\00:15:42.92 Now the confidence came, ironically, because we had 00:15:43.22\00:15:46.43 teachers in the school that believed in us. 00:15:46.64\00:15:48.82 One gentlemen - he's actually passed on now - 00:15:49.02\00:15:50.63 his name was Mandell Hill. 00:15:50.73\00:15:52.99 Mandell Hill was at the time 22 years old 00:15:53.19\00:15:55.97 and he had just graduated from Oakwood College. 00:15:56.07\00:15:59.27 And he came back as a history teacher. 00:15:59.57\00:16:02.25 And he was somebody that Wayne and I could relate to. 00:16:02.56\00:16:05.97 And in seeing him, we recognized that his success was something 00:16:06.17\00:16:11.13 that we could model. And watching his life, 00:16:11.23\00:16:14.95 watching his leadership, watching his spirituality 00:16:15.16\00:16:17.33 became a very key step in our development forward. 00:16:17.53\00:16:21.19 You know, excuse me one second Wayne. I'm going to bring you 00:16:21.39\00:16:23.90 back in, but what you said Dwayne. It's so important 00:16:24.00\00:16:27.95 for parents to know that the school that their children 00:16:28.16\00:16:31.85 or their child is in might be a great school 00:16:31.95\00:16:35.24 but it's not necessarily a good fit for that student, 00:16:35.44\00:16:40.35 for that child. And that's a really great point 00:16:40.59\00:16:43.20 because parents often... You know, you want your kid 00:16:43.31\00:16:45.89 to get a really good education so you put that child 00:16:45.99\00:16:48.87 into a certain environment. But it might not be the right 00:16:48.98\00:16:52.91 environment for that child. 00:16:53.01\00:16:55.15 And so you guys were taken from that Warwick School 00:16:55.45\00:16:59.26 if I recall correctly, Warwick School 00:16:59.46\00:17:01.42 and put into BI, and everything kind of changed 00:17:01.63\00:17:05.31 because it was a good fit for you. 00:17:05.51\00:17:08.19 Not just the religious aspects of it, which are critical, 00:17:08.49\00:17:12.83 but also academically. It sounds as though 00:17:13.03\00:17:15.76 it was... You said it was a more relaxed atmosphere. 00:17:15.96\00:17:19.15 It was... They had worship. 00:17:19.35\00:17:21.40 It just was a better fit. 00:17:21.60\00:17:23.58 And I think that's a very important point 00:17:23.78\00:17:25.88 for parents to hear. It's not that this is an indictment 00:17:26.08\00:17:30.03 on public school so much as it is this Adventist school 00:17:30.23\00:17:33.97 was a better fit for you. 00:17:34.17\00:17:35.91 Here's what we learned even about children today: 00:17:36.11\00:17:38.62 you have to be so in tune with God 00:17:39.12\00:17:43.08 that you become in tune with your child. 00:17:43.28\00:17:46.36 And we're advocating: be so in love with God and your child 00:17:46.56\00:17:51.16 that you understand the needs of your children. 00:17:51.36\00:17:55.05 Oftentimes we put our children in environments 00:17:55.25\00:17:58.20 that we think are the best for them, but we don't take 00:17:58.40\00:18:01.45 into consideration the specific needs, the learning styles, 00:18:01.55\00:18:06.37 the cultural nuances of an environment. 00:18:06.57\00:18:10.07 What we're saying is be so in tune with your child: 00:18:10.17\00:18:12.99 their learning style, their playing style, 00:18:13.19\00:18:15.84 everything around them, and then ask God to give you the wisdom 00:18:16.05\00:18:19.21 and the power and the discernment to create spaces... 00:18:19.31\00:18:23.69 safe spaces. That safe space is at church. 00:18:23.89\00:18:26.34 That safe space in the community. 00:18:26.54\00:18:28.51 The pen of inspiration - Ellen Gould Harmon White - 00:18:28.82\00:18:32.03 she says education is "the harmonious development 00:18:32.23\00:18:35.89 of the mental, the physical, and the spiritual. " 00:18:36.03\00:18:38.53 So that means that an institution is a school. 00:18:38.57\00:18:42.80 But when you envelop your child in a healthy 00:18:42.93\00:18:45.90 environment where they can be themselves 00:18:46.00\00:18:48.13 culturally, physically, spiritually, 00:18:48.33\00:18:50.33 then they have education. So we are advocates 00:18:50.53\00:18:54.29 of finding the best environment for your child to succeed, 00:18:54.49\00:18:59.46 to be a representation of Christ's love, mercy. 00:18:59.66\00:19:02.41 For them to be helpful in their community. 00:19:02.52\00:19:05.16 For them to be helpful in their environment. 00:19:05.36\00:19:07.40 And why this is real to us is that my brother Dwayne's 00:19:07.60\00:19:11.53 daughters go to Bermuda Institute 00:19:11.63\00:19:13.31 which is a Seventh-day Adventist school here in Bermuda. 00:19:13.51\00:19:16.19 My daughter goes to boarding school at Kingsway College 00:19:16.39\00:19:19.91 which is a SDA boarding school right outside of Toronto. 00:19:20.11\00:19:24.34 Now I realized that Bermuda Institute was not a perfect fit 00:19:24.54\00:19:29.58 for my daughter. I wanted her to be at this age - 00:19:29.68\00:19:32.41 17 years old - I wanted her to be in a Christian environment. 00:19:32.51\00:19:35.92 I want her to continue to develop. 00:19:36.12\00:19:37.58 My wife and I had to go outside of what we thought was our 00:19:37.98\00:19:40.54 comfort zone and find a school. 00:19:40.64\00:19:42.60 We looked in North America; we looked in the Caribbean. 00:19:42.70\00:19:44.89 We found a school. Kingsway College is an Adventist 00:19:45.09\00:19:48.51 high school in Toronto that was an excellent fit for her 00:19:48.71\00:19:52.40 so she can understand how... Something that I did share 00:19:52.60\00:19:57.57 and I want to just reiterate it now with your leave 00:19:57.67\00:19:59.59 is that I found out late in life that I had dyslexia. 00:19:59.79\00:20:04.07 And something that we have to understand is that 00:20:05.19\00:20:07.92 Dwayne and I later in life had to take responsibility 00:20:08.22\00:20:11.31 for our playing around... for us not being serious. 00:20:11.51\00:20:13.72 We couldn't blame the school. 00:20:14.02\00:20:15.28 We couldn't blame our parents. 00:20:15.48\00:20:16.69 There became a point in our personal and academic lives 00:20:16.89\00:20:20.63 where we were just shocking and jiving and playing the monkey. 00:20:20.66\00:20:24.37 We had to settle down and realize that if we were to 00:20:24.57\00:20:28.00 make a difference in the world that we had to get focused 00:20:28.10\00:20:31.55 academically. No father, no son, no school, 00:20:31.65\00:20:36.18 no element... No one could do that. 00:20:36.38\00:20:38.40 We had to do that, come to that realization on our own. 00:20:38.50\00:20:41.66 Wayne: this is so, so, so important because you 00:20:41.97\00:20:45.93 cannot live a life of blaming everybody else 00:20:46.13\00:20:50.59 for whatever... our issues. 00:20:50.79\00:20:55.18 Nobody denies that there are issues: 00:20:55.38\00:20:57.52 systemic racism... you know... disproportionate incarceration. 00:20:57.62\00:21:01.62 All of that stuff. We know that. 00:21:01.92\00:21:03.77 But what about our responsibility? 00:21:03.97\00:21:06.73 What about our personal responsibility? 00:21:07.03\00:21:09.06 This is so good because people need to understand 00:21:09.16\00:21:13.28 that it's not just about what somebody did to me. No! 00:21:13.48\00:21:17.70 What am I doing to make my life better? 00:21:18.00\00:21:20.96 How am I assuming responsibility for my life? 00:21:21.16\00:21:24.31 So that is so critical. At what point did you guys 00:21:24.62\00:21:27.32 decide that you had to do that? 00:21:27.52\00:21:30.04 It's a very important point. 00:21:30.44\00:21:32.57 We were at Oakwood University. Oakwood University is a small 00:21:32.77\00:21:36.00 Adventist university nestled in the awesome confines of 00:21:36.20\00:21:39.59 Huntsville, Alabama. 00:21:39.70\00:21:40.73 Dwayne and I left Bermuda undisciplined, but our parents 00:21:40.87\00:21:44.47 wanted us to go to university and we landed at Oakwood. 00:21:44.57\00:21:47.19 Once we landed at Oakwood it was a perfect environment 00:21:47.39\00:21:49.81 for us: small classrooms, dedicated teachers, 00:21:49.91\00:21:52.46 strong academic environment. 00:21:52.66\00:21:54.33 When we got to Oakwood something socially happened. 00:21:54.63\00:21:56.77 The guys around us and the girls around us 00:21:57.27\00:21:59.67 they loved to have fun just as much as us 00:21:59.87\00:22:02.21 but they were focused in school. 00:22:02.41\00:22:03.64 And so we wanted to take part of leadership and be in the... 00:22:03.84\00:22:07.00 I joined the Aeolians, and you couldn't be a part of 00:22:07.10\00:22:09.45 the Aeolians if you didn't have a certain GPA. 00:22:09.55\00:22:11.54 The girls that were gorgeous... they just didn't want to be 00:22:11.74\00:22:13.65 around a guy that was on academic probation. 00:22:13.75\00:22:15.67 And so... It always comes down to the woman. 00:22:15.97\00:22:19.19 I noticed that in the book... that women played a large role 00:22:21.79\00:22:25.44 when... with the way you guys were going. 00:22:25.54\00:22:28.12 The French say cherchez la femme. 00:22:28.42\00:22:31.29 Find a woman, yes? If you oftentimes... 00:22:31.49\00:22:34.20 Dwayne and I are no strangers so we don't want to tell 00:22:34.40\00:22:37.05 a disingenuous story. Dwayne and I were not angels. 00:22:37.15\00:22:40.38 We were not academically focused. But let me share 00:22:40.58\00:22:42.54 something with you. Two things that a person must 00:22:42.64\00:22:44.82 have if they're going to go and change the trajectory 00:22:44.92\00:22:47.59 of their life. Number 1: they have to have passion 00:22:47.69\00:22:50.22 about something and they have to find a purpose. 00:22:50.42\00:22:52.68 What is passion? What do we talk about when 00:22:52.88\00:22:54.26 we're talking about passion? We're talking about something... 00:22:54.36\00:22:56.56 we're talking about something that is God-seed in your life. 00:22:56.59\00:22:59.99 The French also call it the raison d'être: 00:23:00.30\00:23:02.40 the reason for being. 00:23:02.60\00:23:03.98 There has to be something that gets you and motivates you. 00:23:04.08\00:23:06.36 After you've found what you're passionate about 00:23:06.56\00:23:08.42 you have to ask God to show you a purpose. 00:23:08.62\00:23:10.94 What was I put on the planet to do? 00:23:11.24\00:23:14.51 Why am I on this earth? 00:23:14.71\00:23:16.12 So many times you find people that are passionless. 00:23:16.32\00:23:19.20 They do not have a purpose. 00:23:19.40\00:23:20.55 And so they go flailing and purposeless, aimlessly 00:23:20.76\00:23:24.16 walking through life. God has given us a spiritual purpose. 00:23:24.36\00:23:27.39 We know what is our ultimate responsibility 00:23:27.59\00:23:30.02 and that is to tell somebody else about Him. 00:23:30.22\00:23:32.36 How was Dwayne and I? How would we take our gifts? 00:23:32.56\00:23:37.54 Dwayne was very good with people, so he always could talk 00:23:37.78\00:23:40.43 and "Oh, you are a great speaker. " 00:23:40.53\00:23:41.88 I wanted to be a lawyer. 00:23:41.98\00:23:43.01 You ask: "How could I be a lawyer 00:23:43.18\00:23:44.82 if I didn't get good grades? " 00:23:45.02\00:23:46.68 I was very passionate about the community. 00:23:46.88\00:23:48.81 Rodney King... I think it was 1991 00:23:49.01\00:23:51.42 Rodney King had some difficulty in California 00:23:51.62\00:23:55.14 and they had a big unrest on our campus. 00:23:55.34\00:23:57.23 And I was one of the student leaders that brought the campus 00:23:57.53\00:24:00.18 together and we had a march. It was at that point 00:24:00.29\00:24:02.94 where He nitched me like the burning bush. 00:24:03.14\00:24:05.30 God showed me what He can do through Dwayne and I 00:24:05.50\00:24:08.52 if we got focused. If I, with laser-like focus, 00:24:08.62\00:24:11.98 started to dedicate myself not only to kingdom building - 00:24:12.08\00:24:16.46 i.e. getting myself and others ready for the kingdom - 00:24:16.67\00:24:18.87 but I had to be very serious about my academic studies. 00:24:19.07\00:24:21.82 I had to occupy the space that I was in 00:24:22.02\00:24:24.13 and give glory to God through my academics. 00:24:24.33\00:24:26.34 I had to be able to - after getting diagnosed with 00:24:26.54\00:24:29.04 dyslexia - stop feeling sorry for yourself. 00:24:29.14\00:24:31.24 So you have dyslexia... so what? 00:24:31.44\00:24:33.45 I had to find a passion of academics and a plan 00:24:33.65\00:24:37.19 and something that worked well for me and get over myself. 00:24:37.39\00:24:40.16 And get out of my way and stop making excuses 00:24:40.26\00:24:42.62 for myself so I could ultimately see my purpose fulfilled 00:24:42.72\00:24:46.12 through God's destiny. So... Oh, this is so good. 00:24:46.22\00:24:49.33 So: passion, and purpose, and a plan. 00:24:49.53\00:24:53.79 Yes. Three P's: passion, purpose, and a plan. 00:24:53.99\00:24:57.40 You had to have all of those to move forward. 00:24:57.60\00:25:00.53 Because it makes no sense to just have passion 00:25:00.73\00:25:04.07 when you don't know what you're passionate for. 00:25:04.28\00:25:06.38 What are you going to do with it? Where is it going to go? 00:25:06.58\00:25:08.93 But God will let you know. I call it... 00:25:09.07\00:25:11.22 Here on Dare to Dream we call it walking in your divine destiny. 00:25:11.62\00:25:14.80 I've seen it. When you know what you're supposed to do 00:25:15.00\00:25:17.87 and you're doing that, there's nothing better than that. 00:25:17.97\00:25:21.32 Do you agree, Dwayne? 00:25:21.35\00:25:22.79 I certainly second what he is saying. 00:25:23.00\00:25:25.45 I think right now we have a lot of young men, particularly 00:25:25.65\00:25:28.45 young black men around the world, who are just not walking 00:25:28.65\00:25:30.89 with a purpose and they feel sorry for themselves 00:25:30.99\00:25:33.91 and they are surrounded by individuals who are caught up 00:25:34.11\00:25:37.25 in that same position. And it breeds a level of despondency 00:25:37.45\00:25:41.24 which actually can be infectious 00:25:41.44\00:25:43.72 just like things that are positive are. 00:25:43.82\00:25:45.57 What we're saying is that you don't have to be a product 00:25:45.77\00:25:48.23 of your circumstances and that if you dare to dream 00:25:48.33\00:25:51.26 find a Christ-driven purpose. 00:25:51.46\00:25:53.92 Because some people have a purpose, but it's not 00:25:54.02\00:25:56.08 Christ-centered. Remember, if your motives are pure... 00:25:56.18\00:25:59.66 I was told to take advantage of opportunity 00:25:59.76\00:26:03.00 but never to take advantage of people. 00:26:03.20\00:26:05.22 Keep your motive pure; keep your divine purpose in step 00:26:05.42\00:26:09.45 with God's plan. The great Wintley Phipps said 00:26:09.55\00:26:13.48 "You don't have to compromise to be recognized. " 00:26:13.68\00:26:16.24 Stay within God's purpose. He can bless you if you stay 00:26:16.44\00:26:19.67 faithful to Him. Oftentimes we see what 00:26:19.78\00:26:23.50 the quick-fix brings. But God said if you stay 00:26:23.71\00:26:26.47 faithful to Me, He is faithful and just to do just what He says 00:26:26.67\00:26:30.04 and that is to provide you with the blessings of your heart. 00:26:30.24\00:26:34.34 But you must be faithful. Absolutely... absolutely. 00:26:34.44\00:26:37.69 I want to put up your website because 00:26:37.80\00:26:40.18 you guys are such an inspiration. 00:26:40.28\00:26:43.24 I know that there are different churches 00:26:43.54\00:26:46.49 around the country and actually around the world 00:26:46.69\00:26:49.47 that people will be watching and they're going to want to 00:26:49.67\00:26:52.73 invite you to come to their churches. Do you have? 00:26:52.83\00:26:55.83 In 30 seconds, do you both have 00:26:55.93\00:26:58.69 a thought for a young man that's struggling right now? 00:26:58.89\00:27:02.64 If you are a young man or a young woman and you find 00:27:02.94\00:27:06.41 yourself in a position where you feel as if 00:27:06.51\00:27:09.23 you don't matter, if you feel as if everything 00:27:09.53\00:27:12.76 is going against you, if you feel that you can't 00:27:12.86\00:27:14.91 talk to your parents and that being a SDA is actually a joke, 00:27:15.01\00:27:18.47 how can this church that was started in 1844 00:27:18.67\00:27:21.52 actually make a difference in my life? 00:27:21.72\00:27:23.80 Dwayne and I have been exactly where you have been. 00:27:24.00\00:27:26.45 We stopped depending on the church to change our lives. 00:27:26.75\00:27:31.69 We stopped blaming our elders and our deacons 00:27:31.90\00:27:34.56 and we realized that we had a responsibility 00:27:34.76\00:27:37.26 in developing ourselves and pushing ourselves 00:27:37.47\00:27:40.01 through God to make a difference in our life. 00:27:40.21\00:27:41.93 That's great. Dwayne, what do you think? 00:27:42.33\00:27:44.53 God wants men... He wants bold, strong men 00:27:44.83\00:27:48.17 who are ready for this time who are willing to stand. 00:27:48.27\00:27:51.66 He needs us to be a representative of His truth, 00:27:51.86\00:27:54.96 mercy, and love. 00:27:55.16\00:27:56.52 Praise the Lord! Thank you so much for being with us. 00:27:56.82\00:27:59.66 And thank you for joining us. 00:27:59.86\00:28:01.60 Join us next time... it just wouldn't be the same 00:28:01.80\00:28:03.93 without you. 00:28:04.03\00:28:05.68