If you're serious about
having a successful child...
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you won't want to
miss this Program...
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My name is Yvonne
Lewis and you're watching
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Urban Report...
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Hello, and
welcome to Urban Report...
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My guest today is
Paul Tough author of
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"How Children
Succeed" and Speaker...
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Welcome to Urban
Report... Paul...
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Thank you... great to be here...
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Yeah... it's so
good to have you here...
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I'm so glad that you
could take the time out
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to be with us today...
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Yeah, thrilled to be
here thanks for inviting me...
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Oh, sure, sure... so, I
have to tell our viewers
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that a few months
ago, I was in an airport
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and I was just browsing
through the book section
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and I came across this
book "How Children Succeed"
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and I thought...
"Hmmm... that sounds great"
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because I'm always
trying to find some things
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to share with our viewers...
on tips and strategies
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to help our kids
in the inner cities...
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to be more successful...
so, I looked at this book
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and I thought, "Wow,
this looks great... "
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and I took it home
well, I bought it, of course,
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this is a Christian
Network... we don't want people
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to think that I
just took it home...
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I bought it... and,
Paul, this book is so
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powerful... the tips
and strategies that you have
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and the Science
and the information
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and it's not boring...
you know, it's not so heavy
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that a person can't read
it and digest what's in it...
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I want to thank you
for writing this book
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and all that you've done to
help children in the inner city,
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so, let's talk
a little bit first
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about your background
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tell us a little bit about
you and where you come from...
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Sure, I'm a journalist,
I grew up in Canada...
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but have lived in the
United States for a long time
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since College and I
have mostly been an Editor
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with magazines
and about 10 years ago
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I started writing...
first off, I started writing
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magazine articles...
then I wrote an article
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about a man
named Geoffrey Canada
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who's the Head of
Harlem Children Zone...
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and the book that
I wrote about him...
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"Whatever it
Takes" came out in 2008
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and then after
that book was done
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I started working on this
one on "How Children Succeed"
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so these are the two books
that I've written... so far...
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And why are you interested
in the inner city children?
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Well, I think that I lived
for a long time in New York City
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and I think, you can't
live anywhere in New York City
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without understanding that
the inequities and the gaps
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in our big cities right now
are really significant problems
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and they are
significant problems
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I think, no
matter where you live...
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but I didn't really get
tuned in to the importance of
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these questions until I started
writing about Geoffrey Canada
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and the Harlem
Children's Zone which he runs
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is... as I'm guessing a
lot of your viewers will know,
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is this 97th Block neighborhood
in Central Harlem...
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what Geoff and
his team are doing
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is trying to help children
succeed in that neighborhood
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in all sorts of
ways... so they run schools
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but they're also combining
those educational supports
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with social supports
and psychological supports
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and emotional supports...
and working with him...
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writing about him...
really made me think about
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the questions of what it
takes to help every child
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in the United States succeed,
and I really don't think
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there's any more
important question
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when you think about...
the sort of questions of
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social justice in our society
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and also the economic
health of the United States
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if we want to
succeed in the long term...
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these are questions we
really need to solve...
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Absolutely... you know, I was in
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New York not too long
ago and I stopped by the
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Harlem Children's Zone
because I'd heard so much about
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it and I wanted to
kind of see first hand
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what it was all
about... I love the idea...
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as you mentioned...
it's just not an academic
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environment... it's also...
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it's a holistic
kind of environment
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where there's a lot
of parental involvement
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in fact, your
child can't go there
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from what I understand
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unless the parent is
going to be involved as well...
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it that correct?
They don't have that kind
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of restriction because
they certainly want parental
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involvement... but
they also want to serve
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children whose parents
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might not be
willing to be involved...
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they feel like...
those kids need more help
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not less help... in a
lot of circumstances...
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Ah... so they do allow
the children of parents
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who are not that involved
or don't want to be involved
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or whatever... to
attend the School...
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They do... but they do
also have a lot of Programs
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to try to engage
and involve parents
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and I think...
one of the most ones
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is something they
call "Baby College"
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which is this 9- week Program
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for new parents...
expecting parents...
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parents of children up to
age 5, that, over the course of
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several weeks tries
to... give them the sort of
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information and support
that I think... every parent
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is really looking
for... in terms of
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how to deal with
issues of disciplining them
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brain development...
safety in the home...
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and that
Program... especially...
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since it starts sometimes
with parents of infants
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it really engages
parents for the long haul...
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so that... by the time
their kids get to school...
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they're tightly woven in
with the Harlem Children's Zone
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that is so... incredible...
I so would love to see
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more schools like the
Harlem Children's Zone
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around the Country...
because as you know, I'm sure,
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there's such a misconception
about inner-city kids
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"Oh, they can't
learn" or "they're slow"
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or whatever...
but this School...
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and others like it... really...
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these schools show that
these children can learn
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and they can be successful...
but they have to have
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the support that's necessary...
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Yeah... I think it's
such an important message
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and there are...
and it's a good thing
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that there are now
a lot of communities
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a lot of schools
around the Country
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that are trying to
replicate it and emulate
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what the Harlem
Children's Zone is doing...
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but I think you're
right... it's that message
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that, absolutely,
these children can succeed...
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even when they come from
very difficult circumstances...
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but they need more
help than other children...
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and that help, I
think, ideally, should come...
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just not in the classroom
but from the whole Community
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it has to go... well beyond
the walls of the school...
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Absolutely... absolutely...
so, tell us then...
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how did writing that
story impact and influence
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your writing...
"How Children Succeed"
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It's a great question...
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so it took 5 years to report
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and write that first book...
and when I got to the end...
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even after all that reporting...
I felt like I still had some
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big questions about...
how children succeed...
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about why some
children can seem to come
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from similar
backgrounds from other children
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and that some will succeed
and others will lose their way
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and in the process
of doing that first book
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I've connected with a lot
of Scientists and Researchers,
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Economists and Neuroscientists
and Psychologists
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and as I started talking to
them as that book was coming out
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I realized that
there was more to the story
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than I was able to get
in whatever it takes...
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and a big part of
the idea that went into
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"How Children Succeed"
is there's a difference
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in different kinds of
skills that children develop
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as they grow...
Economists divide these skills
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into what they
call... cognitive skills and
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non-cognitive skills
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but really it's
about the kind of skills
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that got measured on
standardized tests...
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your IQ and
Reading and Math abilities
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all of which are very
important but which, I think,
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we've overly emphasized
in some of our educational
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projects as of the
couple of decades...
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and on the other side we
have non-cognitive skills
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character strengths... things
like grit and perseverance
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curiosity,
optimism, self-control,
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and then those skills...
these researchers were finding
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turned out to be
extremely important
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in terms of which children
succeed and which ones don't...
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but the way to teach them...
the way to develop them...
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in our children...
is very different...
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you can't use the
same sort of strategies
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that worked to teach
reading and math skills
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if you want to help
children develop their grit,
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perseverance and curiosity,
it's a very different process...
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What you said...
is so rich because...
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up until the
time I read your book
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I subscribed too...
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to that whole
cognitive hypothesis
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that you mentioned...
it's the idea that we need to
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give our inner-city kids more...
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they need to
start reading earlier
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they need to be
exposed to words earlier...
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we need more verbal
interaction with them...
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and yet... what
you're saying is that
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this is important... but
and correct me if I'm wrong
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this is important but
also on the other side
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there are some non-cognitive
kinds of skills that
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we as parents can
teach our children...
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that they need to
know... to be successful...
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it's just not about
cognition... correct?
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Absolutely... and I appreciate
your emphasizing that...
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it's not that we're
saying... don't worry about your
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children's
reading and math ability
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it's just that...
that alone is not enough
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and I think... one of
the interesting things
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that we're finding...
and that these researchers
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are finding... is
some of the things
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that the parents are
sometimes encouraged to do
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to help develop... say
their children's verbal ability
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things like having
more conversations...
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one-on-one
conversations with your kids
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reading aloud to
them every night...
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those things certainly
help with vocabulary development
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but part of the reason I
think why that's so important
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because that they
encourage a connection...
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and closeness between
a parent and a child...
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just the experience of
sitting with your child
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every night and
reading them a book or two
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what the kids are
getting out of that
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the neuroscientists now tell us
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is not just
vocabulary development
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it's the warmth of
sitting with the parent
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or another
caregiver and having you know,
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having their
parent's arm around them
00:10:01.90\00:10:04.12
and just speaking
in those quiet voices
00:10:04.16\00:10:06.31
all of those things act
as an important antidote
00:10:06.35\00:10:11.16
to a lot of the
stresses of daily life...
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especially for kids, I
think, who are growing up
00:10:13.64\00:10:15.32
in difficult circumstances
00:10:15.36\00:10:16.55
when there are a
lot of stresses...
00:10:16.59\00:10:17.89
but one of the
big messages for me
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is the neuroscience
that I read about in the book
00:10:19.68\00:10:22.11
is that... parents can
help to protect their kids
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from a lot of the
pressures of daily life
00:10:24.58\00:10:27.29
How so... how so...?
00:10:27.33\00:10:29.59
Well, by forming a
kind of connection with them
00:10:29.63\00:10:32.17
by helping them
learn how to manage stress
00:10:32.20\00:10:34.20
there's one
neuroscientist that I talked to
00:10:34.24\00:10:35.90
said that... "One of
the most important things
00:10:35.93\00:10:37.56
that parents can
do for their kids
00:10:37.59\00:10:38.94
is in how they help
them deal with stress... "
00:10:38.97\00:10:42.14
and there are some parents...
and we all know these parents
00:10:42.17\00:10:45.50
who really don't help
their kids to relieve stress
00:10:45.53\00:10:48.06
in fact they make
their lives more stressful...
00:10:48.10\00:10:50.29
they add more stress
to their children's lives
00:10:50.32\00:10:52.31
whether that's by putting
pressure on them to succeed
00:10:52.35\00:10:54.89
or by yelling or
having a chaotic home
00:10:54.93\00:10:57.94
but then there are other
parents I think every parent
00:10:57.97\00:11:01.35
aspires to be like that...
who really help their kids
00:11:01.38\00:11:04.72
learn how to deal
with stressful situations
00:11:04.75\00:11:06.74
so, when... something happens...
00:11:06.77\00:11:08.99
when they fall down or
get stressed out early on
00:11:09.03\00:11:11.40
they help to comfort
them and to calm them down...
00:11:11.44\00:11:13.76
and then... as
their kids get older...
00:11:13.80\00:11:15.80
you know, it's not
justified coddling them
00:11:15.84\00:11:17.77
and comforting them...
it's also about helping them
00:11:17.81\00:11:20.36
learn that they can deal
with stressful situations
00:11:20.40\00:11:22.58
on their own... you
know, that when they fall down,
00:11:22.62\00:11:24.77
they can help
themselves back up...
00:11:24.80\00:11:26.30
they can deal with
problems, and as kids get older
00:11:26.34\00:11:28.76
I think the job of
parents in terms of stress
00:11:28.79\00:11:31.65
is to help your children
learn that they can deal with
00:11:31.69\00:11:34.32
increasingly
difficult problems you know,
00:11:34.35\00:11:36.47
to push them a little
bit... still supporting them
00:11:36.51\00:11:38.53
but to push them a little...
Absolutely... and you have to
00:11:38.56\00:11:41.06
kind of walk that
line of knowing how far
00:11:41.09\00:11:45.27
to push and yet...
being there to support them...
00:11:45.30\00:11:49.09
as well... and I think
that that comes with experience
00:11:49.12\00:11:52.53
and time and prayer and
reading and all of that...
00:11:52.57\00:11:55.90
I think, you kind of learn
that, but the important thing is
00:11:55.94\00:11:59.76
to help them... to deal
with the stressful situation...
00:11:59.79\00:12:03.17
one of the things that you
talked about... in the book
00:12:03.21\00:12:06.55
were the ACEs or
Adverse Childhood Experiences
00:12:06.59\00:12:10.00
and I thought this was
very, very deep because
00:12:10.03\00:12:13.40
so often... in
a lot of our homes
00:12:13.44\00:12:16.95
there's such
chaos and such stress
00:12:16.98\00:12:20.43
that the children are
just tossed and turned
00:12:20.46\00:12:24.02
with all these
chaotic experiences...
00:12:24.05\00:12:26.23
can you talk a little
bit about the ACEs and how
00:12:26.27\00:12:29.85
those things impact the children
and their outcomes success-wise
00:12:29.88\00:12:34.89
Sure... so the Adverse
Childhood Experience Study
00:12:34.93\00:12:38.70
was the study
done about 20 years ago
00:12:38.74\00:12:40.55
by a couple of doctors
00:12:40.59\00:12:42.07
they took a
large group of adults
00:12:42.10\00:12:44.55
and then asked them
questions about stressful,
00:12:44.58\00:12:47.31
traumatic events
they've had in childhood...
00:12:47.34\00:12:49.67
and these were
pretty big ones things like
00:12:49.71\00:12:51.96
having parents split up...
having someone in your family
00:12:52.00\00:12:55.51
who was addicted
to drugs or alcohol...
00:12:55.55\00:12:57.73
someone in the family
who was incarcerated...
00:12:57.77\00:12:59.83
being abused...
sexually or physically
00:12:59.87\00:13:01.97
or neglected as a
child, you know...
00:13:02.00\00:13:04.04
some pretty bad things...
that can happen to kids...
00:13:04.07\00:13:06.08
and what they found was that...
00:13:06.11\00:13:07.74
the number of those experiences
that these adults had had
00:13:07.78\00:13:12.22
as children...
had a direct impact
00:13:12.26\00:13:14.65
on their physical
health... so that people who had
00:13:14.69\00:13:17.81
experienced more of
these adverse experiences
00:13:17.85\00:13:20.08
in childhood...
they had cancer rates
00:13:20.11\00:13:21.93
that were twice
as high as normal...
00:13:21.97\00:13:23.71
and heart disease rates that
were twice as high as normal
00:13:23.75\00:13:27.31
and what scientists have
come to understand over time...
00:13:27.35\00:13:30.88
is that it is the
stress of experiencing
00:13:30.92\00:13:33.76
those traumatic
events that has an effect
00:13:33.80\00:13:36.56
on our physical
development, on our system...
00:13:36.59\00:13:39.44
and we can see its
effects on our physical health
00:13:39.48\00:13:41.97
and on our mental
health, and on the development
00:13:42.00\00:13:44.78
of the kind of tension
and concentration skills
00:13:44.81\00:13:47.56
that matter so much in school...
00:13:47.59\00:13:48.90
so I think the message
to parents and to teachers
00:13:48.93\00:13:52.16
is really two
things... one is...
00:13:52.20\00:13:53.48
that we really need to
try to protect our kids
00:13:53.52\00:13:57.00
from these serious...
from these big stresses
00:13:57.04\00:14:00.46
as they're growing up...
that you know... I think...
00:14:00.49\00:14:02.81
some of us think,
"Well, they're just kids...
00:14:02.85\00:14:04.39
they bounce back...
they're resilient, and they are,
00:14:04.43\00:14:06.93
they're resilient and
they do recover, I think,
00:14:06.97\00:14:09.67
from difficult experiences,
but they're affected
00:14:09.70\00:14:12.37
by all of them...
especially living through
00:14:12.40\00:14:14.79
really intense traumas...
like being a victim of violence
00:14:14.82\00:14:18.20
that has a big effect
on kids and they need help
00:14:18.23\00:14:20.57
dealing with
that... and then I think,
00:14:20.60\00:14:22.13
the other thing
that it tells us...
00:14:22.17\00:14:23.67
as both parents and teachers
00:14:23.71\00:14:25.36
is that as kids get older
we need to be really aware
00:14:25.40\00:14:29.36
of the experiences
that they've gone through
00:14:29.39\00:14:31.46
as if they've
experience these traumas
00:14:31.50\00:14:33.00
and they're acting out in
school or acting out at home,
00:14:33.03\00:14:35.88
there's a reason
for that... you know...
00:14:35.92\00:14:37.29
they're not just being bad
kids, they're dealing with all
00:14:37.32\00:14:40.17
of the trauma that
they've experienced...
00:14:40.21\00:14:41.56
so they need an
additional kind of help
00:14:41.59\00:14:43.79
whether that's
counseling or mentoring
00:14:43.82\00:14:45.94
or psychological help sometimes,
medical help sometimes,
00:14:45.98\00:14:50.34
but these are things
that are really, I think,
00:14:50.37\00:14:52.30
important for
parents to take seriously...
00:14:52.33\00:14:54.22
Absolutely... I think sometimes
00:14:54.26\00:14:56.35
parents, as you said,
sometimes parents say,
00:14:56.39\00:14:59.73
"Oh the kid will bounce
back, children are resilient,
00:14:59.77\00:15:03.11
they can, you know, they
can just make it through"
00:15:03.14\00:15:06.28
but actually there is a
certain level of support
00:15:06.32\00:15:10.32
that is necessary to
help the child to navigate
00:15:10.35\00:15:13.65
basically... through
life... and through these
00:15:13.68\00:15:16.98
chaotic experiences...
and so what you're saying
00:15:17.02\00:15:20.28
is that... now
science is showing that
00:15:20.32\00:15:23.39
actually physical problems
can emerge as a result of
00:15:23.43\00:15:28.03
these adverse
childhood experiences
00:15:28.07\00:15:30.19
and I would imagine that,
in addition to the physical
00:15:30.22\00:15:34.29
of course, there's
the emotional and also
00:15:34.33\00:15:37.53
the outcome
success-wise is not as high
00:15:37.57\00:15:40.70
for children who have had these
adverse childhood experiences...
00:15:40.74\00:15:44.90
Absolutely, the
physical outcomes
00:15:44.94\00:15:48.49
are just the ones that we
can measure most clearly...
00:15:48.52\00:15:52.01
you can tell when someone gets
cancer or doesn't get cancer
00:15:52.05\00:15:54.41
we can really measure...
00:15:54.44\00:15:56.12
and these scientists can
measure the level of certain
00:15:56.15\00:15:59.00
stress hormones in the body...
and measure the number of
00:15:59.03\00:16:02.01
antibodies that help us fight
off colds and things like that
00:16:02.04\00:16:04.98
so, the data there is
really clear and the connections
00:16:05.02\00:16:08.06
between those
adverse experiences
00:16:08.09\00:16:09.63
and poor outcomes
00:16:09.67\00:16:11.03
in terms of health
have been well documented...
00:16:11.07\00:16:14.13
but I think
you're absolutely right
00:16:14.17\00:16:15.58
in some ways the
psychological and emotional
00:16:15.61\00:16:19.47
outcomes are
more... they're more serious
00:16:19.51\00:16:23.30
and they're more intense...
they're just a little harder
00:16:23.34\00:16:26.12
to measure... this child
sort of goes astray somehow
00:16:26.15\00:16:28.69
and they had traumatic
experiences growing up...
00:16:28.73\00:16:31.09
it's harder for us to
see that cause and effect
00:16:31.12\00:16:33.69
but it's very real...
and I think it's happening
00:16:33.73\00:16:36.23
all the time and in lots of
different sorts of families.
00:16:36.26\00:16:39.74
Absolutely... absolutely...
you talk also about the concept
00:16:39.78\00:16:43.22
of attachment... and I thought
00:16:43.26\00:16:45.54
that was very interesting
would you explain that to us?
00:16:45.57\00:16:48.05
Sure, so the psychology
of attachment is something
00:16:48.08\00:16:50.81
I didn't know much
about before I started work
00:16:50.84\00:16:53.59
on this book... but there's
a long history going back
00:16:53.63\00:16:56.31
several decades of psychologists
who've studied the connection
00:16:56.34\00:16:59.92
the emotional and
psychological connection between
00:16:59.95\00:17:02.07
parents and children... and
it's especially about infants
00:17:02.10\00:17:05.94
about the first 12
or 18 months of life
00:17:05.98\00:17:08.00
and what they find
is that there's a test
00:17:08.03\00:17:10.50
that you can do that
measures at age 12 months or
00:17:10.53\00:17:14.03
18 months whether
children are securely attached
00:17:14.06\00:17:17.51
to their parents or
insecurely attached...
00:17:17.54\00:17:20.24
anxiously attached...
and most kids are securely
00:17:20.28\00:17:24.04
attached... about
60 percent of all...
00:17:24.08\00:17:26.18
What's that test...
tell us about that test...
00:17:26.22\00:17:27.43
if you would...
00:17:27.46\00:17:28.68
Oh, the test... so
it's a bit of a strange test
00:17:28.71\00:17:30.72
it's called "The
Strange-Situation Test"
00:17:30.76\00:17:32.59
and so the way they do it...
they do it in the laboratory
00:17:32.62\00:17:35.06
that just looks like a
playroom and a parent...
00:17:35.09\00:17:38.46
usually a mother and
a child, an infant...
00:17:38.50\00:17:41.30
play together for a
while, and then the parent
00:17:41.34\00:17:44.10
leaves the room...
and often children...
00:17:44.14\00:17:46.69
babies cry for a little while...
they don't like being abandoned
00:17:46.73\00:17:50.24
and especially at 12 months,
and then the parent comes back
00:17:50.28\00:17:53.14
and the test is actually
not about what the infant
00:17:53.17\00:17:56.32
does when the parent leaves,
it's about what the infant
00:17:56.35\00:17:58.51
does when the parent comes back,
00:17:58.55\00:17:59.60
and when infants
are securely attached,
00:17:59.64\00:18:02.81
the baby, when the mom comes
back, will usually run to her
00:18:02.85\00:18:07.41
and grab her... and
sometimes they'll cry and
00:18:07.44\00:18:09.43
sometimes they won't cry,
they'll be happy to be reunited
00:18:09.47\00:18:11.42
anxiously-attached
babies will do
00:18:11.46\00:18:14.35
all sorts of different things,
sometimes, they'll run over
00:18:14.38\00:18:16.55
they'll hit the parent...
sometimes they'll ignore them
00:18:16.58\00:18:19.11
or pretend they
didn't care that they left...
00:18:19.15\00:18:21.75
sometimes they'll just
sort of curl up in a ball
00:18:21.78\00:18:24.35
and cry and be
unable to be comforted
00:18:24.39\00:18:26.81
it's all of these
sort of extreme reactions
00:18:26.84\00:18:30.23
that come from not
trusting that their parent
00:18:30.26\00:18:33.61
is there for
them... not feeling secure
00:18:33.65\00:18:35.68
in their relationship
with their parent...
00:18:35.71\00:18:37.32
and that can happen
for all sorts of reasons...
00:18:37.36\00:18:39.17
it certainly happens
when there is abuse or neglect
00:18:39.20\00:18:41.91
but it also can happen
when there's not enough
00:18:41.94\00:18:44.61
face-to-face connection
00:18:44.65\00:18:46.61
and presence between
a parent and a child...
00:18:46.64\00:18:48.85
and one of the things
that I find most interesting
00:18:48.89\00:18:52.28
in the research is that
00:18:52.32\00:18:53.49
this sort of connection,
this sort of attachment
00:18:53.52\00:18:56.72
is something that
parents can learn...
00:18:56.76\00:18:58.88
it's not just...
you're the sort of parent who
00:18:58.91\00:19:01.62
is securely attached or not
00:19:01.66\00:19:03.04
if you get the right kind
of support and instruction
00:19:03.08\00:19:06.29
as a parent... even
if you're not someone
00:19:06.32\00:19:08.35
who tends to have that kind of
connection with your babies...
00:19:08.38\00:19:11.21
you can change
a few small things
00:19:11.25\00:19:13.57
in terms of the way
you connect with them...
00:19:13.60\00:19:15.22
and you can do much better...
and the reality is, you know,
00:19:15.26\00:19:18.20
it's hard for some
parents, you grew up yourself
00:19:18.23\00:19:20.58
without having a
secure attachment
00:19:20.61\00:19:22.72
with your own parents
it's hard to be the sort of
00:19:22.76\00:19:25.76
mother or father who
has a secure attachment
00:19:25.79\00:19:28.23
with your babies... but
when adults... when parents
00:19:28.26\00:19:31.13
get that right kind of support,
help from those around them,
00:19:31.17\00:19:34.65
it makes it a
lot easier for them
00:19:34.68\00:19:36.26
to have that kind
of close connection
00:19:36.30\00:19:37.92
and once they
get that connection,
00:19:37.95\00:19:39.50
it makes parenting so much
more pleasant and rewarding
00:19:39.54\00:19:43.60
and happier because
everyone in the home
00:19:43.63\00:19:45.32
is a lot happier...
00:19:45.36\00:19:46.85
Yes... that is
great... can you tell us
00:19:46.88\00:19:49.02
a few of the
things that parents can do
00:19:49.05\00:19:51.56
to connect with their children?
00:19:51.59\00:19:54.09
Sure... so... some of
it is just about warmth...
00:19:54.13\00:19:57.05
it's about holding and singing
to... and caring for babies...
00:19:57.09\00:20:01.55
it's a lot of
face-to-face connection
00:20:01.58\00:20:04.12
skin-to-skin connection,
but it is also, I think,
00:20:04.15\00:20:07.65
about having...
something I think
00:20:07.68\00:20:09.87
some parents don't think it's
important in the early months
00:20:09.91\00:20:12.61
is having
conversations with your baby...
00:20:12.64\00:20:14.77
looking them in the eye...
and talking back and forth
00:20:14.81\00:20:17.90
even when the babies can't talk
and are just sometimes listening
00:20:17.93\00:20:21.32
and sometimes gurgling
and making strange sounds
00:20:21.36\00:20:24.64
their brains develop
because of this face-to-face
00:20:24.67\00:20:27.92
connection... and
that is a big part of
00:20:27.96\00:20:30.50
what develops
the secure attachment
00:20:30.54\00:20:33.01
it gives babies the
message, there's someone
00:20:33.05\00:20:35.98
looking out for them,
someone is focused on me...
00:20:36.02\00:20:38.17
someone who is
responding to my cues...
00:20:38.20\00:20:41.52
to the things that I
say, so, little things like
00:20:41.55\00:20:44.26
you know, just
looking babies in the eye,
00:20:44.30\00:20:46.58
and responding to
the sounds that they make
00:20:46.62\00:20:48.87
those cues...
those little actions,
00:20:48.91\00:20:52.18
have a big effect on how
00:20:52.21\00:20:53.70
children's brains develop and
how that relationship evolves.
00:20:53.74\00:20:57.21
That is so true...
and it's so important
00:20:57.25\00:21:00.61
it's not just
taking the baby and sitting
00:21:00.65\00:21:03.98
the baby in
front of Sesame Street
00:21:04.02\00:21:05.69
and hoping that the baby
gets something from it...
00:21:05.73\00:21:08.15
Sure... It's
interacting and reading
00:21:08.19\00:21:10.73
to the baby and singing
songs and teaching the baby,
00:21:10.76\00:21:14.58
it's that close
interaction and as you said,
00:21:14.61\00:21:19.03
skin-to-skin hugging the baby
and having that verbal exchange
00:21:19.06\00:21:24.04
even if the baby can't talk well
00:21:24.07\00:21:26.01
Right... I think
that's all so important
00:21:26.04\00:21:28.02
and that creates that
sense of attachment... correct?
00:21:28.05\00:21:30.80
It does absolutely...
00:21:30.83\00:21:32.24
and I think... you're
talking about Sesame Street
00:21:32.27\00:21:34.30
I think a lot of
parents part of this
00:21:34.34\00:21:36.01
cognitive hypothesis idea...
00:21:36.05\00:21:37.47
I think a lot of parents...
out of the last couple
00:21:37.50\00:21:39.79
of decades have heard
this message from all over
00:21:39.82\00:21:42.07
that what matters is, you
know, vocabulary development
00:21:42.10\00:21:45.12
and getting the right kind
of sort of cognitive influence
00:21:45.15\00:21:48.13
and so a lot of them are fine
00:21:48.16\00:21:49.23
"Okay, I'm going to
give the baby this video game
00:21:49.27\00:21:53.07
that builds vocabularies or
I'll let them watch this TV show
00:21:53.11\00:21:55.66
that develops
vocabularies," and in fact,
00:21:55.70\00:21:57.90
what we're find is
that's not how children
00:21:57.93\00:22:00.10
either develop the
sort of character strengths
00:22:00.14\00:22:03.15
that matter or
develop their vocabulary
00:22:03.18\00:22:04.82
they way that they develop
is in face-to-face contact
00:22:04.85\00:22:07.49
with an adult and
ideally... with a parent.
00:22:07.52\00:22:10.76
Yes, yes, let's talk a bit
about character development
00:22:10.80\00:22:14.69
because that is such a key
00:22:14.73\00:22:16.62
a key component in
being successful...
00:22:16.65\00:22:20.03
tools of the mind...
those strategies with
00:22:20.06\00:22:22.55
tools of the mind...
tell us about that...
00:22:22.59\00:22:25.05
sure, so... the way that I read,
00:22:25.08\00:22:28.82
I want to talk for a second
about the word "character"
00:22:28.85\00:22:30.93
so, character, I think,
is a complicated word...
00:22:30.96\00:22:33.87
it's also sometimes
a controversial word...
00:22:33.91\00:22:35.90
there's a way...
that at certain points
00:22:35.93\00:22:38.24
in history...
we've used it as a way to
00:22:38.28\00:22:40.55
I think, try to impose
different values on people...
00:22:40.59\00:22:43.26
and so a I think
a lot of people...
00:22:43.29\00:22:44.48
resist... someone
telling them, you know,
00:22:44.52\00:22:46.29
"Your child does not have the
right character strengths... "
00:22:46.33\00:22:48.75
but I think that in the
research that I'm writing about
00:22:48.79\00:22:51.95
in how children succeed,
character is just another word
00:22:51.99\00:22:55.12
for this kind of
non-cognitive brain development
00:22:55.15\00:22:59.09
it's things like being able
to persist at a difficult task
00:22:59.12\00:23:02.64
dealing very well
with a confrontation...
00:23:02.68\00:23:04.35
all of those... I think...
are the character strengths
00:23:04.39\00:23:07.04
that matter most... in
terms of how children succeed
00:23:07.08\00:23:09.69
and so, what
researchers are finding is that
00:23:09.73\00:23:12.63
at different stages
of a child's development
00:23:12.67\00:23:15.50
there are different things
that help develop these skills
00:23:15.54\00:23:17.57
early on... as
we've been talking about
00:23:17.61\00:23:19.68
things like attachment...
things like close connection
00:23:19.72\00:23:22.25
between a parent and a child,
that makes a big difference
00:23:22.29\00:23:24.76
in terms of... the development
of these character strengths...
00:23:24.79\00:23:27.55
tools of the mind is
this pre-Kindergarten and
00:23:27.59\00:23:29.87
Kindergarten
Program that uses... "play"
00:23:29.90\00:23:32.06
uses make-believe play
with 4- and 5-year-olds...
00:23:32.10\00:23:35.24
to develop self-control,
another very important
00:23:35.27\00:23:38.38
character
strength... their theory is
00:23:38.42\00:23:40.45
when kids do make-believe,
they learn how to follow rules
00:23:40.48\00:23:44.03
and then that's a
more effective way
00:23:44.06\00:23:45.92
of getting kids
to learn self-control
00:23:45.96\00:23:47.75
than just lecturing
them and telling them...
00:23:47.78\00:23:49.70
"You have to be
more self-controlled"
00:23:49.74\00:23:51.47
make-believe play helps
them learn those sorts of skills
00:23:51.50\00:23:55.23
on their own... and
then when kids get older,
00:23:55.26\00:23:57.09
I think it's much more
about the way we talk with kids
00:23:57.12\00:24:00.88
there's this psychological
idea called "metacognition"
00:24:00.92\00:24:04.64
which just means...
thinking about "thinking"
00:24:04.68\00:24:06.64
and when kids get older...
when kids become adolescents
00:24:06.67\00:24:09.70
for the first time,
they are really able to
00:24:09.73\00:24:11.73
reflect on their
own thought processes...
00:24:11.77\00:24:13.74
and some of the
best interventions
00:24:13.77\00:24:15.22
that I have read about
on how children succeed...
00:24:15.26\00:24:16.88
encourage conversations,
encourage kids to really reflect
00:24:16.91\00:24:20.01
on themselves... why am I
not being more self-controlled?
00:24:20.05\00:24:23.08
why do I always react to this
kind of provocation in this way?
00:24:23.12\00:24:26.37
and when we can talk to our kids
00:24:26.40\00:24:28.24
or when mentors or
community members can talk
00:24:28.28\00:24:30.70
to our kids...
it's about these skills
00:24:30.73\00:24:33.27
I think they
really respond well...
00:24:33.31\00:24:35.41
they like
understanding themselves
00:24:35.45\00:24:37.48
and in understanding themselves
they can often develop
00:24:37.52\00:24:40.41
better habits
and better patterns
00:24:40.44\00:24:42.16
and really change
their whole character...
00:24:42.19\00:24:44.09
Wow! that is amazing,
you know, that's such...
00:24:44.12\00:24:48.88
those areas of perseverance
and optimism and self-control
00:24:48.92\00:24:53.44
and curiosity... these
things are aspects that
00:24:53.47\00:24:57.81
we have not really
emphasized in the past...
00:24:57.85\00:25:00.81
and you're telling us that
Science really had shown that
00:25:00.85\00:25:04.36
we really do need
to look at these things
00:25:04.39\00:25:06.29
a bit more thoroughly
because that is the other side
00:25:06.32\00:25:09.97
of the success piece...
You're right... and... I mean...
00:25:10.00\00:25:13.19
there's a way, I think,
that every parent knows this...
00:25:13.23\00:25:16.38
and knows that
these skills are important
00:25:16.42\00:25:18.38
and want their
kids to be able to
00:25:18.42\00:25:19.80
exercise self-control...
00:25:19.84\00:25:21.13
they want their
children to be optimistic...
00:25:21.17\00:25:22.90
but I think there are lots
of ways... that the messages
00:25:22.93\00:25:26.41
that we've
received from Society...
00:25:26.45\00:25:28.76
especially over
the last 10 or 15 years
00:25:28.80\00:25:31.04
have been oriented in a
very different direction...
00:25:31.08\00:25:33.59
it's sort of telling us
it's all about your test scores
00:25:33.63\00:25:36.07
that's what's going to matter
that's what we need to focus on
00:25:36.11\00:25:38.42
and again... while
those things important
00:25:38.46\00:25:40.88
there is this much
broader set of skills
00:25:40.92\00:25:43.27
that parents can do a whole lot
to affect in their children...
00:25:43.31\00:25:45.88
and that... that
Science is not telling us
00:25:45.91\00:25:48.61
matter a great deal... in
terms of the long-term success
00:25:48.64\00:25:52.07
of any individual...
certainly any child...
00:25:52.11\00:25:54.02
Thank you so much... for
telling us these things...
00:25:54.06\00:25:58.47
do you have a closing thought...
00:25:58.50\00:25:59.88
our time is up... I
cannot believe it...
00:25:59.92\00:26:01.36
do you have a closing
thought for our viewers...
00:26:01.39\00:26:03.49
anything that
you'd like to share
00:26:03.52\00:26:05.37
in like 30 seconds or less?
00:26:05.40\00:26:07.03
Sure, I think, especially
for the parents in the audience
00:26:07.06\00:26:10.21
I think it's really
useful to understand
00:26:10.24\00:26:12.41
how much power we
have... as parents
00:26:12.45\00:26:14.55
you know, we can't control
everything about our children
00:26:14.58\00:26:17.03
in our children's lives,
but I think the fact that
00:26:17.07\00:26:19.85
that making a few changes
00:26:19.89\00:26:21.44
in how we deal with our kids
00:26:21.48\00:26:22.96
thinking a little bit
differently about them
00:26:22.99\00:26:24.43
connecting with
them a little bit more
00:26:24.46\00:26:25.94
can have this huge impact...
not just on how things go
00:26:25.97\00:26:29.34
in the family right away,
but also can affect things like
00:26:29.37\00:26:32.70
their High School
graduation rate...
00:26:32.74\00:26:34.73
you know, how likely they
are going to be successful
00:26:34.76\00:26:36.57
for the long
term... so there's a lot
00:26:36.60\00:26:38.16
that we can do as parents...
even when we're dealing with
00:26:38.20\00:26:41.24
pretty stressful
situations around us...
00:26:41.27\00:26:43.88
Thank you so much
Paul for being with us
00:26:43.91\00:26:46.45
and thank you for the
insight that you've shared...
00:26:46.48\00:26:48.80
and thank you for this book,
I recommend it to everybody,
00:26:48.84\00:26:52.41
get "How Children
Succeed" it's a crucial book...
00:26:52.45\00:26:55.46
Thanks so much Yvonne,
it was great to be here...
00:26:55.50\00:26:58.47
I enjoyed the conversation.
00:26:58.51\00:26:59.70
The Bible says,
"Train up a child...
00:26:59.74\00:27:02.47
in the way he should
go... and when he's old...
00:27:02.50\00:27:05.17
he will not depart from
it. " What does that mean?
00:27:05.20\00:27:07.83
Besides teaching our
children about Jesus...
00:27:07.86\00:27:10.56
we should help them
in character building...
00:27:10.60\00:27:13.26
Paul Tough made
some great points
00:27:13.29\00:27:15.84
about how Science is supporting
the idea of character building
00:27:15.87\00:27:20.32
we can endow our children with
the skills-set of perseverance,
00:27:20.36\00:27:24.78
curiosity,
optimism and self-control...
00:27:24.81\00:27:27.72
you don't have to
be rich to do that...
00:27:27.75\00:27:30.59
you just have to
parent... I pray that today...
00:27:30.62\00:27:34.60
you got some tips
and some strategies
00:27:34.64\00:27:37.32
that you can instantly apply
to your children in their lives
00:27:37.36\00:27:40.83
and if not to your own
children, to your grandchildren,
00:27:40.87\00:27:43.82
to your neighbors,
share this information
00:27:43.86\00:27:46.79
it's so critical...
00:27:46.83\00:27:47.90
Well, that's it for
our Program today...
00:27:47.93\00:27:50.54
Thanks so much for joining us...
00:27:50.57\00:27:52.26
Tune in next time...
because you know what?
00:27:52.30\00:27:55.05
It just wouldn't be
the same without you.
00:27:55.08\00:27:57.80