What is the impact on the family when the father is absent? 00:00:01.06\00:00:04.15 Why should we even care? 00:00:04.19\00:00:05.92 Stay tuned to meet someone who's dedicated his life 00:00:05.96\00:00:09.39 to remedying the ramifications of "Father Absence" 00:00:09.43\00:00:12.41 My name is Yvonne Lewis and you're watching... 00:00:12.45\00:00:15.40 Urban Report... 00:00:15.43\00:00:16.64 Hello and welcome to Urban Report... 00:00:37.29\00:00:39.54 Today our guest is Ken Braswell, 00:00:39.57\00:00:41.76 Founder and Executive Director of Fathers Incorporated... 00:00:41.79\00:00:45.38 Fathers Incorporated... a not-for-profit Organization 00:00:45.41\00:00:48.97 serves as the Leader in the promotion of 00:00:49.00\00:00:51.37 responsible fatherhood and mentoring... 00:00:51.40\00:00:53.69 This international, national and local focus 00:00:53.73\00:00:57.16 will raise the awareness about, and combat the impact of, 00:00:57.19\00:01:00.95 "Father Absence" 00:01:00.99\00:01:02.48 Ken, welcome to Urban Report... 00:01:02.52\00:01:04.85 Dr. Lewis, thank you so much... it is a humbling pleasure 00:01:04.89\00:01:09.37 to be in your presence today... 00:01:09.40\00:01:10.93 Oh, well, that is so kind of you to say... 00:01:10.97\00:01:13.09 but we just praise the Lord for all that you're doing... 00:01:13.13\00:01:16.60 and I am so excited about your work and your Organization... 00:01:16.64\00:01:20.08 and you and I have talked for really, 00:01:20.11\00:01:22.74 probably for almost a year, 00:01:22.77\00:01:24.32 and this is the first time 00:01:24.36\00:01:25.84 that I've been able to have you on Urban Report... 00:01:25.87\00:01:28.34 so it is my honor to have you here... 00:01:28.37\00:01:30.44 Thank you for taking the time out to be with us... 00:01:30.48\00:01:32.58 No, thank you... 00:01:32.62\00:01:34.10 Tell us a little bit about you first of all... 00:01:34.14\00:01:38.06 Who is Ken Braswell? 00:01:38.09\00:01:39.59 You know, I'd like to start off by saying, "I'm a child of God" 00:01:39.63\00:01:44.51 I walk every moment of my life in obedience to my Lord... 00:01:44.54\00:01:51.29 I don't make any decisions, I don't take a step, 00:01:51.32\00:01:54.55 I don't utter a word, I don't think a thought 00:01:54.59\00:01:57.88 without asking the Father first whether or not 00:01:57.92\00:02:01.07 it is something that is in His will... 00:02:01.10\00:02:02.65 and then closely after that... I'm a loving husband, 00:02:02.68\00:02:06.09 I love my wife dearly... and then I'm a father... 00:02:06.13\00:02:10.15 of children and 00:02:10.19\00:02:11.37 a servant to my Community... 00:02:11.41\00:02:13.98 and I think that that describes me in a nutshell 00:02:14.02\00:02:16.24 and all of the other things that are laced in my 00:02:16.27\00:02:18.98 resume are good things to show 00:02:19.01\00:02:20.87 for people to get a sense of what I do... 00:02:20.90\00:02:23.00 if you ask me who I am... that's who I am... 00:02:23.04\00:02:25.61 That's wonderful... where did you grow up? 00:02:25.65\00:02:27.51 I grew up in Brooklyn, New York, Oh! 00:02:27.55\00:02:30.67 my mother, at the age of 18 years old, 00:02:30.71\00:02:33.71 left Pinetops, North Carolina, with me in tow... 00:02:33.75\00:02:38.36 I was about 2 or 3 years old when she came to Brooklyn... 00:02:38.40\00:02:41.85 she came with two of her cousins... 00:02:41.89\00:02:43.45 who also had children and you know, back in those days, 00:02:43.48\00:02:47.32 when young women had children, particularly in the south 00:02:47.36\00:02:51.16 of the United States... oftentimes, 00:02:51.20\00:02:53.75 they had to leave... and many of them went north 00:02:53.79\00:02:57.12 and my mother was one of those, and she struggled for the vast 00:02:57.15\00:03:00.53 majority of her life, raising myself as well as... 00:03:00.57\00:03:04.20 later on... some years later, my brother and sister, 00:03:04.23\00:03:07.70 and so, Brooklyn, New York, is where I call "Home" 00:03:07.74\00:03:11.18 but I live, currently in Albany, New York, 00:03:11.21\00:03:13.94 which is about 140 miles north of New York City... 00:03:13.97\00:03:16.63 Okay, so your mom was a single mother, then, 00:03:16.66\00:03:19.86 raising her children? 00:03:19.90\00:03:21.23 Yes, she was... 00:03:21.27\00:03:22.50 And is that what propelled you into this whole work 00:03:22.54\00:03:29.21 of the impact of "Father Absence" 00:03:29.24\00:03:31.80 what propelled you to do this... 00:03:31.83\00:03:34.25 this work? You know, I think, as I began 00:03:34.29\00:03:37.49 to do this work... I made the connection 00:03:37.52\00:03:40.54 between my mother being a single mother 00:03:40.58\00:03:43.73 but the genesis of me getting into this work 00:03:43.76\00:03:46.88 had to do with my own experiences 00:03:46.91\00:03:49.05 as a young boy... 00:03:49.09\00:03:50.96 struggling to be a man... 00:03:51.00\00:03:52.90 and trying to figure out 00:03:52.93\00:03:54.81 how to be a father... at a very young age... 00:03:54.85\00:03:56.58 I had my first child at 17 years old... 00:03:56.62\00:03:59.79 closely after that... I found myself in my first marriage... 00:03:59.83\00:04:04.17 that lasted... you know... shorter... 00:04:04.21\00:04:07.10 than the courtship did... 00:04:07.14\00:04:09.02 for many years when my daughter was born 00:04:09.05\00:04:12.71 her mother and I were like... oil and water... 00:04:12.74\00:04:15.23 and we could not find a way... to find ourselves together 00:04:15.26\00:04:18.60 and quickly became divorced and separated... 00:04:18.64\00:04:22.10 and I spent a large part of the early days 00:04:22.14\00:04:25.19 of my child's life... estranged from her... 00:04:25.22\00:04:28.25 and then it was the birth of my second child... 00:04:28.29\00:04:31.59 that, God placed in my life, to turn me around 00:04:31.63\00:04:34.90 and I believe, that was the emphasis for impetus 00:04:34.93\00:04:38.47 for the trajectory of my life because she literally 00:04:38.50\00:04:42.00 awoke the spirit in me that said that, 00:04:42.04\00:04:44.64 "You have to be a different kind of man... 00:04:44.68\00:04:47.21 you have to really figure out how you're going to 00:04:47.25\00:04:50.84 adhere to your responsibilities as a father 00:04:50.87\00:04:53.22 you can no longer be the selfish man that I was... 00:04:53.25\00:04:56.88 at the time... you now have a responsibility 00:04:56.92\00:04:59.61 that's not yours... that actually belongs to me 00:04:59.64\00:05:02.83 as my new-born child... " and that really changed, 00:05:02.86\00:05:06.02 my life... my daughter... who is now 13-years-old 00:05:06.05\00:05:10.60 really turned my life around, 00:05:10.63\00:05:12.66 she caused me to reconnect with my first child... 00:05:12.70\00:05:15.88 that has happened over time and that relationship is still 00:05:15.91\00:05:20.19 as I call, "under construction" 00:05:20.22\00:05:22.24 but we love each other dearly, 00:05:22.28\00:05:24.23 we talk more than we've ever talked... 00:05:24.27\00:05:26.52 she has given me an awesome grandchild... 00:05:26.56\00:05:28.78 and it was that experience... 00:05:28.82\00:05:31.87 and then finding myself in Family Court 00:05:31.90\00:05:34.95 with my second daughter and her mother 00:05:34.98\00:05:38.05 struggling to find a way 00:05:38.08\00:05:39.88 to parent our child effectively, 00:05:39.92\00:05:42.14 given that we weren't together anymore... 00:05:42.18\00:05:43.87 You have given some really interesting points here 00:05:43.90\00:05:48.14 because... I want to go back for a second 00:05:48.17\00:05:51.69 because there are so many young guys... like 17... 00:05:51.73\00:05:55.05 like you were... that find themselves 00:05:55.08\00:05:58.88 "Fathers" they have sired babies... 00:05:58.91\00:06:02.64 but they're not actually being fathers... 00:06:02.67\00:06:04.77 they're not parenting these children... 00:06:04.81\00:06:06.84 so, part of it... I think... and you tell me... 00:06:06.87\00:06:10.54 but part of it is because 00:06:10.57\00:06:12.39 they didn't have fathers, 00:06:12.43\00:06:14.18 so they don't really know what a father does... 00:06:14.22\00:06:16.53 what does a father really look like? 00:06:16.56\00:06:20.55 what is a part of the parenting process, 00:06:20.59\00:06:24.51 and I think it's because they don't know themselves... 00:06:24.54\00:06:28.56 how to be parents... so that's number one... 00:06:28.59\00:06:31.06 I think... everything in Society propels you towards sexuality... 00:06:31.10\00:06:35.68 but it doesn't propel you 00:06:35.71\00:06:37.94 toward the consequences of that sexuality... 00:06:37.97\00:06:41.42 so, you find yourself... 00:06:41.45\00:06:42.89 you're seventeen... and you've got a baby... 00:06:42.92\00:06:45.99 and a baby-mama that is on your case, 00:06:46.03\00:06:49.14 and so you find yourself really, trying to deal with that 00:06:49.17\00:06:53.27 would you speak to that for a second? 00:06:53.30\00:06:55.51 Yeah, I often tell young men, young boys when I'm talking 00:06:55.54\00:06:59.93 to them... that the measurement of manhood 00:06:59.97\00:07:02.56 is your ability to be able to be responsible and sustain 00:07:02.59\00:07:08.84 all of the acts that you have engaged in... 00:07:08.87\00:07:13.25 as a boy... and so, when you become 00:07:13.29\00:07:16.56 a father as a boy... your manhood is measured by 00:07:16.60\00:07:22.49 how well you adhere to the responsibilities 00:07:22.53\00:07:25.92 of being a father... and oftentimes, 00:07:25.96\00:07:28.77 when we are youth, and this is the consequence 00:07:28.81\00:07:31.50 you talk about consequence 00:07:31.53\00:07:33.16 and I speak a lot about this to them as well... 00:07:33.20\00:07:35.59 you know, when you, as a youth 00:07:35.63\00:07:39.38 engage in adult actions... 00:07:39.41\00:07:42.39 adult actions cause adult consequences... 00:07:42.43\00:07:45.68 Hmmm... hmmm... when you are a youth... 00:07:45.71\00:07:48.89 you don't have the ability and the wherewithal... 00:07:48.92\00:07:51.63 to match up with the adult consequences... 00:07:51.66\00:07:54.30 Having sex, having children, having to pay rent, 00:07:54.33\00:08:00.39 having to get a job, 00:08:00.43\00:08:02.13 those are adult activities that have consequences 00:08:02.16\00:08:06.25 and when you are a child... you are ill-equipped to do that 00:08:06.29\00:08:09.66 and that is the problem for many of our youth today... 00:08:09.69\00:08:12.70 they have engaged in adult activities 00:08:12.74\00:08:15.37 that have adult consequences, 00:08:15.41\00:08:17.50 and they are still youth and don't have 00:08:17.53\00:08:19.49 the resources and abilities to be able to adhere 00:08:19.52\00:08:22.29 to those responsibilities... 00:08:22.33\00:08:23.64 That is so true... and you know, when we look at the 00:08:23.68\00:08:26.22 the 10 Commandments... and we look at the commandment 00:08:26.25\00:08:28.80 that says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" 00:08:28.84\00:08:31.47 it's not because God is trying to... 00:08:31.51\00:08:33.79 to, you know, just kind of suppress your pleasure 00:08:33.83\00:08:37.62 it's a protection... it's a protective mechanism 00:08:37.65\00:08:42.34 set into place that actually protects you from doing 00:08:42.38\00:08:47.04 things that you're not prepared to do... 00:08:47.07\00:08:49.78 and so, you know, I think that that is such an important point 00:08:49.81\00:08:54.13 that you're doing adult activities 00:08:54.17\00:08:57.63 as a youth... as a child... and you're not prepared for 00:08:57.67\00:09:01.85 the adult consequences that is so true... 00:09:01.89\00:09:04.86 So... so... oh... go ahead... 00:09:04.90\00:09:07.72 It's... 00:09:07.76\00:09:09.05 If you just take the 00:09:09.08\00:09:10.52 story of Adam... as a footprint there was a reason 00:09:10.55\00:09:16.51 that God spent so much time with Adam... 00:09:16.55\00:09:19.24 in talking to him about his purpose... 00:09:19.27\00:09:21.82 and talking to him about his placement 00:09:21.85\00:09:24.01 and talking to him about his position 00:09:24.05\00:09:26.14 and talking about his... the work that he had to do 00:09:26.17\00:09:30.34 in Eden... 00:09:30.38\00:09:32.01 before He gave him Eve... 00:09:32.05\00:09:35.47 and all of that preparation... for Adam 00:09:35.50\00:09:38.50 was to get prepared for his helpmate... 00:09:38.54\00:09:41.47 which is the process... as a boy... you get prepared 00:09:41.50\00:09:47.11 by the image of a man who teaches you 00:09:47.14\00:09:49.96 how to do the things so that when you do engage... 00:09:50.00\00:09:52.97 you have the wherewithal to be able to attend 00:09:53.00\00:09:55.06 to those responsibilities 00:09:55.09\00:09:56.20 so it wasn't until he was clear in understanding that 00:09:56.24\00:09:59.82 that God gave him Eve... and it wasn't until after that 00:09:59.85\00:10:02.92 that... they have children, and we missed that point 00:10:02.96\00:10:05.99 in the process, you know, of being boys 00:10:06.03\00:10:09.07 and then being girls and then being husbands and wives... 00:10:09.10\00:10:12.39 and then having children... we jumped over the whole process 00:10:12.42\00:10:15.48 the rights of the children... and we expect for everything 00:10:15.51\00:10:18.54 to be right... Oh, come on now... 00:10:18.58\00:10:20.83 that's some wonderful stuff there... 00:10:20.86\00:10:23.80 you gave a lot of P's too... I love that, you know, that... 00:10:23.84\00:10:26.65 the alliteration... I love that... 00:10:26.68\00:10:28.16 Preparation on a... tell us the P's, 00:10:28.20\00:10:32.39 Preparation, Purpose, Yes... 00:10:32.43\00:10:37.21 Sex, Commitment, all of those things 00:10:37.25\00:10:41.38 God gave Adam, you know, before He gave him 00:10:41.42\00:10:44.32 the responsibility, you know, of being a "Papa" 00:10:44.35\00:10:48.38 Yes... and the process... it is a process... 00:10:48.41\00:10:52.27 that we tend to want to skip, you are so right... 00:10:52.30\00:10:57.24 we tend to want to skip the process 00:10:57.28\00:10:59.15 and go right to the pleasure, Right... right... 00:10:59.18\00:11:02.64 go right to the pleasure... 00:11:02.67\00:11:03.98 forget the preparation, forget the process, 00:11:04.01\00:11:06.94 let's just deal with the pleasure 00:11:06.97\00:11:08.60 and that... that is not God's 00:11:08.64\00:11:12.70 intention... again... what God has set into play... 00:11:12.74\00:11:16.83 here... it's for our protection, another P... 00:11:16.86\00:11:20.92 it's for our protection, so it's not just Him 00:11:20.95\00:11:24.06 trying to be arbitrary and saying... 00:11:24.09\00:11:26.70 "Well, don't do that... " No, don't do it because 00:11:26.74\00:11:29.61 you're not ready... for that, 00:11:29.65\00:11:32.31 it's not part of my plan for you... " 00:11:32.35\00:11:35.19 so all of these things are in place... 00:11:35.23\00:11:38.04 and I love that idea about Adam... 00:11:38.08\00:11:40.90 and God spending time with Adam preparing him for his mate, 00:11:40.93\00:11:45.15 that is so important because a lot of times... 00:11:45.18\00:11:48.94 a lot of the guys and women now... of today... 00:11:48.97\00:11:52.69 I have sons... and my sons tell me, 00:11:52.72\00:11:54.59 "Mom, women aren't like they used to be... 00:11:54.62\00:11:57.44 they're not really necessarily looking for commitment either" 00:11:57.47\00:12:00.39 Right... so, it's like... 00:12:00.42\00:12:01.45 there's a whole different mentality... 00:12:01.49\00:12:04.00 among a lot of young people... 00:12:04.04\00:12:06.32 and I'm not trying to indict all young people 00:12:06.36\00:12:08.42 but I'm saying that among a lot of people period... 00:12:08.46\00:12:12.70 there is this cavalier attitude toward sexuality 00:12:12.74\00:12:16.91 and toward having children and who are just being out there 00:12:16.95\00:12:21.82 and hanging out... doing what's fun 00:12:21.85\00:12:23.80 without dealing with the process 00:12:23.83\00:12:25.71 and the preparation... so, your mom... had you... 00:12:25.75\00:12:30.81 raised you... you had your child at 17... 00:12:30.85\00:12:34.93 and then you had this other child 00:12:34.97\00:12:36.97 and through his other child you became more aware 00:12:37.01\00:12:40.86 of what you were to do... as a parent... 00:12:40.89\00:12:43.68 She opened your eyes to the importance of parenting... 00:12:43.71\00:12:48.00 what is the outcome 00:12:48.03\00:12:52.39 of families... that you can see... 00:12:52.43\00:12:54.96 what are some of the consequences 00:12:54.99\00:12:57.49 of the absent father? 00:12:57.52\00:12:58.80 You know, it's different for 00:12:58.83\00:13:02.87 both boys and girls... 00:13:02.91\00:13:05.71 there are some similarities in terms of outcomes... 00:13:05.74\00:13:08.72 they don't fare so well in school... 00:13:08.76\00:13:11.55 they struggle with self-esteem, 00:13:11.59\00:13:13.97 they engage in, what Society calls... deviant behaviors... 00:13:14.00\00:13:18.60 either drug abuse or alcoholism and violence 00:13:18.63\00:13:23.34 children... tend to not have a grounded "Spirit Place" for 00:13:23.38\00:13:29.62 spirituality... to be a part of their lives, 00:13:29.65\00:13:32.66 I have a friend... that I'm going through with him now 00:13:32.69\00:13:36.45 in helping him understand how important it is 00:13:36.49\00:13:40.26 to have a relationship with God... 00:13:40.30\00:13:42.44 and I can give you all the statistics and research 00:13:42.48\00:13:47.00 in the world... but the reality is 00:13:47.04\00:13:48.73 when the father gets up on Sunday morning 00:13:48.76\00:13:51.62 or Saturday morning... whenever time 00:13:51.65\00:13:53.80 your faith calls you... to be obedient to God... 00:13:53.84\00:13:56.71 the family usually more than likely 00:13:56.75\00:13:58.85 gets up with him... and so, when you don't have 00:13:58.89\00:14:01.69 fathers in the household... primarily for these children 00:14:01.72\00:14:05.93 there is no guidance... there is no way 00:14:05.97\00:14:08.93 and no mechanism for them to really... 00:14:08.97\00:14:11.90 be able to trust God 00:14:11.94\00:14:14.12 my wife said to me... before we got married... 00:14:14.16\00:14:17.54 and I never understood this concept until she said so... 00:14:17.57\00:14:20.94 she said that 00:14:20.97\00:14:22.61 what helped her understand 00:14:22.65\00:14:26.04 how I was her husband is when she realized 00:14:26.08\00:14:30.48 she could follow God through me... 00:14:30.51\00:14:33.37 she said to me that that is the order 00:14:33.41\00:14:36.24 God, husband, wife... 00:14:36.27\00:14:38.71 but in order for the wife and family to be in alignment 00:14:38.75\00:14:42.33 and be in order with God's calling... 00:14:42.36\00:14:44.73 that the wife has to be able to see God through her husband, 00:14:44.77\00:14:48.90 All right... because if it's off path... 00:14:48.93\00:14:51.22 the wife and the families... are off path... 00:14:51.25\00:14:53.50 and so, that... therein lies 00:14:53.53\00:14:55.33 probably one of our biggest problems 00:14:55.37\00:14:57.83 when men... are not in their rightful place 00:14:57.86\00:15:00.80 with respect to their families... 00:15:00.83\00:15:03.27 Yes, there is a divine order 00:15:03.31\00:15:06.81 and we want... many times 00:15:06.84\00:15:10.27 the woman ends up being kind of the spiritual head 00:15:10.30\00:15:13.79 of the household... but the husband is to be that 00:15:13.82\00:15:17.24 priest of the household... he is the one that is to call 00:15:17.28\00:15:20.53 his family to worship... he is the one that is to 00:15:20.56\00:15:24.37 take them to Church on Sabbath morning 00:15:24.40\00:15:27.06 and make sure that that family is in alignment 00:15:27.10\00:15:31.68 with the divine plan... 00:15:31.71\00:15:33.37 so, that's a very interesting point 00:15:33.40\00:15:36.60 so your wife really brought to you... that concept 00:15:36.63\00:15:40.44 of that priesthood... 00:15:40.47\00:15:42.98 that the husband is to be the priest... 00:15:43.02\00:15:46.20 and to lead his family to the alter... 00:15:46.24\00:15:49.39 that's very, very important... 00:15:49.43\00:15:51.65 And what that did... at that moment 00:15:51.68\00:15:54.22 when I understood that... it laid upon my heart 00:15:54.25\00:15:58.23 a different kind of responsibility... 00:15:58.26\00:16:01.52 that if I wanted my wife and my children... 00:16:01.55\00:16:06.23 to follow, be obedient, be humble 00:16:06.26\00:16:09.51 to the calling of God... that the responsibility 00:16:09.55\00:16:13.14 of my life... to be in line and to have a relationship 00:16:13.18\00:16:16.67 with God was critically important 00:16:16.71\00:16:19.12 if I was the man... I said I was 00:16:19.16\00:16:21.50 and so it forces me to stay in like-step with my God 00:16:21.54\00:16:27.03 if I want my family to also be in like-step with Him as well... 00:16:27.06\00:16:30.82 how can I expect something of them 00:16:30.85\00:16:32.43 that I don't expect of myself... 00:16:32.47\00:16:33.92 Ah, excellent, excellent... so leading by example 00:16:33.96\00:16:37.98 Absolutely... that's the key... 00:16:38.01\00:16:39.84 that's the key... we have a video of you and 00:16:39.88\00:16:45.51 kind of your development... would you set it up for us 00:16:45.55\00:16:48.72 and tell us what it's about... 00:16:48.75\00:16:50.89 Yeah, you know, I was just... you know... 00:16:50.93\00:16:53.58 I often... I'm very reflective, I kind of... 00:16:53.61\00:16:56.50 I look at my life and I try to watch the steps 00:16:56.53\00:16:59.35 that God has ordered for me and sometimes I have to 00:16:59.38\00:17:02.50 motivate myself because I'm probably 00:17:02.54\00:17:05.46 my harshest critic with respect to... 00:17:05.50\00:17:08.35 am I doing as much as I can do? Can I do more? 00:17:08.38\00:17:11.70 And my wife often tells me... "Well, sometimes you got to 00:17:11.73\00:17:14.37 stop and sit back and look at what you've accomplished... " 00:17:14.40\00:17:17.37 you got to start telling people and showing people your walk 00:17:17.41\00:17:20.34 people have to see that you were at Place A 00:17:20.38\00:17:24.62 and now you're at Place B and you've been at C and D and E 00:17:24.66\00:17:28.53 and you can walk through those and so, 00:17:28.57\00:17:30.53 I love putting videos together, I have a heart 00:17:30.57\00:17:33.84 for the creative process... and something just said, 00:17:33.88\00:17:36.27 "You know what... you got a computer and a hard drive 00:17:36.30\00:17:38.65 full of those kinds of images... 00:17:38.69\00:17:40.02 put something together that will speak to your heart 00:17:40.05\00:17:43.29 when you're not feeling adequate with respect to 00:17:43.32\00:17:46.52 the purpose that God has laid on you... 00:17:46.56\00:17:47.93 Oh great... well let's take a look at this video right now. 00:17:47.96\00:17:51.26 Music... One Man's Journey 00:17:51.30\00:17:58.04 by Kenneth Braswell... music playing... 00:17:58.08\00:18:05.79 music playing... 00:18:05.83\00:18:09.98 with Hilary Clinton 00:18:10.01\00:18:15.75 Music playing... 00:18:15.79\00:18:21.49 The biggest question I had for myself was 00:18:21.53\00:18:23.60 whether I would call him "Dad" or Mr. Applewhite... 00:18:23.64\00:18:26.50 my internal conversation told me if I called him "Dad" 00:18:26.53\00:18:30.21 I would be giving up something of myself... 00:18:30.25\00:18:34.47 I'm not a perfect man... I don't subscribe 00:18:34.51\00:18:39.53 at any point in my life to be perfect, you know, 00:18:39.56\00:18:42.71 I've learned a lot from my mistakes... 00:18:42.75\00:18:44.72 I've got a lot of light... and I get a lot more... 00:18:44.76\00:18:47.61 but I continued to move forward and I'd get up every morning 00:18:47.64\00:18:51.27 I'm trying to be a better man, trying to be a better father, 00:18:51.30\00:18:54.43 trying to be a better partner, trying to be a better friend... 00:18:54.46\00:18:57.55 trying to be a better Christian 00:18:57.59\00:18:58.97 and that's all I have to give to the world 00:18:59.01\00:19:01.46 music playing... 00:19:01.49\00:19:14.67 Met His Father at Age 22... 00:19:22.65\00:19:26.30 as a child... and sometimes we make mistakes, 00:19:26.33\00:19:29.00 sometimes, we make big mistakes, you know... 00:19:29.04\00:19:31.56 sometimes women make mistakes, sometimes they make big mistakes 00:19:31.60\00:19:35.69 it is critical that fathers be placed back into the paradigm 00:19:35.73\00:19:39.79 of family development... you just have to make sure that 00:19:39.82\00:19:42.62 the family structure... that exists for our children 00:19:42.65\00:19:45.48 are safe for them... and that's first, foremost 00:19:45.51\00:19:48.69 and paramount in the work that... 00:19:48.72\00:19:50.40 in the work that we do... 00:19:50.44\00:19:52.00 NBA Star Dwayne Wade... White House Champion of change 00:19:52.04\00:19:54.92 in Orlando, Florida... 00:19:54.96\00:19:56.49 We want to be able to take this chance 00:19:56.52\00:19:58.96 to begin to build the capacity of these barbers 00:19:58.99\00:20:01.55 to be productive... information dissemination points 00:20:01.58\00:20:05.21 for the Communities that they serve in... 00:20:05.25\00:20:07.41 This work is about wanting to see the beauty... 00:20:07.44\00:20:10.69 but not wanting to deal with the thorns... 00:20:10.72\00:20:12.72 and for fathers... in this work, 00:20:12.75\00:20:15.28 we have become in essence the thorns... 00:20:15.32\00:20:17.98 It's very difficult to heal someone else 00:20:18.02\00:20:20.11 when you're wounded... 00:20:20.15\00:20:21.23 We have a situation where one third of US-born children 00:20:21.27\00:20:26.00 wake up each morning 00:20:26.03\00:20:27.31 without their biological fathers in their homes... 00:20:27.34\00:20:30.01 This is what you all just did... 00:20:30.04\00:20:32.24 this is the king of the freaking jungle... 00:20:32.28\00:20:35.23 he has dominion over everything, let the jungle hear you roar... 00:20:35.26\00:20:40.00 Roar... roar... roar... so get up off your seats... 00:20:40.04\00:20:47.03 and let me hear you roar... ROAR... 00:20:47.07\00:20:49.01 let me hear you roar... 00:20:49.04\00:20:50.77 And when they were asking Jesus what is it that 00:20:50.81\00:20:52.81 you're going to do... he kneeled down in the sand... 00:20:52.85\00:20:58.38 and he wrote something in the sand... 00:20:58.42\00:21:01.36 and the Bible doesn't tell us what he wrote in the sand... 00:21:01.39\00:21:06.84 but he raised up to say... 00:21:06.87\00:21:08.76 "Let anyone without sin... cast the first stone... " 00:21:08.80\00:21:12.80 and so... a lot of you... have done a lot of things 00:21:12.84\00:21:16.81 in your life... and you're waiting for 00:21:16.84\00:21:18.54 written confirmation... and for someone to sit down 00:21:18.57\00:21:21.71 and write something in the life of yours 00:21:21.74\00:21:24.69 in the sands of your life... to let you know as you said 00:21:24.73\00:21:29.10 that you're not alone... 00:21:29.14\00:21:30.21 and there's a place for you to go... 00:21:30.24\00:21:32.33 and the work continues... 00:21:32.37\00:21:36.81 music... 00:21:36.84\00:21:45.46 Wow! thank you so much for sharing that with us... 00:21:45.50\00:21:49.65 that is really... it kind of encapsulates 00:21:49.69\00:21:52.32 what you're doing... tell us before... 00:21:52.36\00:21:55.87 because the time has just really quickly gone by... 00:21:55.91\00:21:58.74 we have about five minutes left, tell us a bit about 00:21:58.77\00:22:02.36 Fathers Incorporated... what's your mission... 00:22:02.39\00:22:04.81 what's your vision... that kind of thing... 00:22:04.84\00:22:07.23 you know... we have... God set a new mission for us 00:22:07.26\00:22:11.03 about two years ago... and that was to become 00:22:11.06\00:22:14.16 the number one promoter of responsible fatherhood 00:22:14.19\00:22:17.30 and mentoring... around the world 00:22:17.34\00:22:19.40 and what that calls us to do is to really do the things 00:22:19.44\00:22:22.49 that elevate this conversation of the importance of 00:22:22.53\00:22:25.55 responsible fatherhood... and to eradicate 00:22:25.59\00:22:27.97 the outcome of "Father Absence" 00:22:28.00\00:22:30.00 and fatherlessness... we do that in 00:22:30.03\00:22:33.68 curriculum development and programming... public speaking 00:22:33.72\00:22:37.20 social media... I might do a lot of writing... 00:22:37.24\00:22:40.30 speaking, talking... whatever God sets on my heart to do 00:22:40.34\00:22:43.51 to elevate this conversation... 00:22:43.55\00:22:45.69 is the task of Fathers Incorporated... 00:22:45.72\00:22:49.01 just not too long ago... we kind of re-adjusted... 00:22:49.05\00:22:53.11 me and re-adjusted our Organization 00:22:53.15\00:22:55.80 and it has really put us on the path 00:22:55.84\00:22:57.73 to really begin to do this work in Faith-based Institutions... 00:22:57.76\00:23:02.57 He said to me... not too long ago... 00:23:02.60\00:23:05.65 "Kenny, people will see your work as the work of the world 00:23:05.69\00:23:10.90 the purpose that I've laid on your heart... 00:23:10.93\00:23:13.09 has absolutely nothing to do with the world... 00:23:13.13\00:23:15.31 it has to do with the building of the Kingdom... 00:23:15.35\00:23:17.67 and therefore... you have absolutely no boundaries 00:23:17.70\00:23:19.96 when it comes to this earth... " 00:23:19.99\00:23:21.15 and so, as you can imagine, 00:23:21.18\00:23:24.23 hearing that, from my Father, telling me that 00:23:24.27\00:23:27.76 this work that I do... is about Kingdom-building... 00:23:27.79\00:23:31.25 it's something that we are now in the process of 00:23:31.28\00:23:34.68 taking a step back and planning exactly how we're going to move 00:23:34.72\00:23:39.29 forward... to spread this word... 00:23:39.33\00:23:41.99 at every corner of the earth... 00:23:42.03\00:23:44.62 Wow! that is absolutely wonderful... 00:23:44.66\00:23:47.77 this is a work... that is so critical... 00:23:47.81\00:23:50.76 one of the things that I see and it's just so disheartening 00:23:50.80\00:23:55.48 is the erosion of the family... 00:23:55.51\00:23:58.52 there is not that central... that figure... 00:23:58.56\00:24:03.55 that father-head of the home 00:24:03.59\00:24:06.06 of the household... it's so often absent... 00:24:06.09\00:24:08.71 and so... if we don't address that 00:24:08.75\00:24:11.65 and address it with the spiritual paradigm... 00:24:11.68\00:24:15.58 we are really, just, floundering so your work... 00:24:15.61\00:24:19.51 in getting this word out... is critical... 00:24:19.55\00:24:22.31 tell us a little bit about the mentoring... 00:24:22.34\00:24:25.11 that Fathers Incorporated does... 00:24:25.15\00:24:27.47 We are engaged 00:24:27.51\00:24:33.15 in a couple of things right now 00:24:33.19\00:24:34.54 I said a few minutes ago... we are developing 00:24:34.57\00:24:38.17 what we're describing as a Fatherhood Ministry Curriculum 00:24:38.20\00:24:41.99 and that is to go into churches 00:24:42.02\00:24:44.05 to begin to help them establish a work that points directly 00:24:44.08\00:24:48.67 at fathers... oftentimes, in many churches 00:24:48.71\00:24:51.59 you'll see Men's Ministries... 00:24:51.63\00:24:52.81 but Men's Ministries don't directly 00:24:52.85\00:24:54.94 deal with the issue of Fatherhood... 00:24:54.97\00:24:57.00 and all men's ministries don't, all men aren't fathers 00:24:57.03\00:25:00.29 and so, in our churches, we have to begin to start 00:25:00.33\00:25:03.56 focusing our Leaders and our Congregations 00:25:03.59\00:25:06.17 on this issue of Fatherhood... and it's not just about 00:25:06.21\00:25:09.59 talking to the fathers about their responsibility 00:25:09.63\00:25:12.27 of fatherhood... but it's also talking to our mothers 00:25:12.31\00:25:14.92 about the critical importance that they have... 00:25:14.95\00:25:17.81 in bringing fathers to their children... 00:25:17.84\00:25:20.14 whether they live together or not... 00:25:20.18\00:25:22.83 and then the last piece of it is 00:25:22.87\00:25:25.46 ensuring that we connect our earthly responsibility 00:25:25.49\00:25:29.32 of being fathers to the spiritual reality... 00:25:29.35\00:25:33.07 that we all have a Father... 00:25:33.11\00:25:35.30 and that He has said that even in the midst of not 00:25:35.34\00:25:37.95 having a father... I am your father... 00:25:37.98\00:25:40.34 and that is something... and a connection that we must 00:25:40.37\00:25:42.99 make to people so that when a biological father 00:25:43.03\00:25:46.82 is not in your lives nor is a positive role model... 00:25:46.85\00:25:49.76 they know enough to get down on their knees and pray 00:25:49.79\00:25:52.62 to the heavenly father for answers to their circumstances. 00:25:52.66\00:25:55.56 Oh, that's wonderful... that is wonderful... 00:25:55.60\00:25:58.37 In 30 seconds... what would you say 00:25:58.40\00:26:02.30 what would you say to that young man 00:26:02.34\00:26:06.17 that wants to be a better father but just doesn't know 00:26:06.21\00:26:09.30 where to start... what would you say? 00:26:09.34\00:26:11.30 I would say, "Start with your heart... 00:26:11.33\00:26:13.23 listen to your heart... put yourself in the shoes of 00:26:13.26\00:26:19.05 that child and say to yourself 00:26:19.09\00:26:20.67 'what would you want me to do in the same situation' 00:26:20.71\00:26:23.89 and then if you can't get an answer from that question, 00:26:23.93\00:26:27.08 the next question should be one that we hear often 00:26:27.12\00:26:30.40 but we don't pay enough attention to... and that is... 00:26:30.44\00:26:33.02 'what would Jesus do in the same situation. '" 00:26:33.06\00:26:35.94 That's wonderful... 00:26:35.98\00:26:37.47 thank you so much for being with us... 00:26:37.50\00:26:40.09 we didn't even get to touch on what happened 00:26:40.13\00:26:43.34 when you met your dad... at age 22... 00:26:43.38\00:26:45.83 and I'm sure that our Viewers would like to know that... 00:26:45.86\00:26:48.09 plus I know that there are going to be 00:26:48.13\00:26:50.00 on-going activities and events that Fathers Incorporated 00:26:50.04\00:26:55.60 is sponsoring with love... 00:26:55.63\00:26:57.87 for our Viewers to know more about that... 00:26:57.91\00:27:00.25 your website again... 00:27:00.29\00:27:01.76 give us your website... 00:27:01.79\00:27:03.11 Our website is www. Fathersincorporated. com 00:27:03.14\00:27:08.88 we are on Facebook... 00:27:08.92\00:27:10.79 our Twitter handle is Fathersincorp 00:27:10.83\00:27:14.08 if you Google us... you will find us... 00:27:14.11\00:27:17.29 I think when you Google Fathers Incorporated 00:27:17.32\00:27:19.37 you'll probably load it up on the first 10 or 15 pages... 00:27:19.41\00:27:22.66 so you have no excuse for not finding us... 00:27:22.69\00:27:25.14 That's wonderful... thank you so much 00:27:25.17\00:27:27.54 and we hope to have you back again... 00:27:27.57\00:27:29.72 Thank you Dr. Lewis and God bless you... 00:27:29.75\00:27:31.86 God bless you too Brother Ken... 00:27:31.90\00:27:34.09 Thank you so much for tuning in, 00:27:34.13\00:27:36.32 we are just so blessed to have you 00:27:36.36\00:27:38.48 and we just pray that 00:27:38.51\00:27:39.63 this information will be of use to you... 00:27:39.66\00:27:42.02 share it with people that you know... 00:27:42.06\00:27:44.41 let them know that there are Organizations 00:27:44.44\00:27:47.47 out there that can really help them 00:27:47.50\00:27:49.51 with parenting and being good fathers and good mothers 00:27:49.54\00:27:53.79 because we need that desperately... 00:27:53.82\00:27:56.11 Join us next time... 00:27:56.14\00:27:57.78 we know... it just wouldn't be the same... 00:27:57.81\00:28:00.12 without you... 00:28:00.16\00:28:02.14