What effect has fatherlessness
have on our children?
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Stay tuned and find out just how
damaging and pervasive it is.
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My name is Yvonne
Lewis and you're watching
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Urban Report...
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Hello and welcome
to Urban Report...
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let me share a few
statistics with you...
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according to the
National Center for Fathering,
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in 72.2 percent of
the U.S. population
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fatherlessness is the
most significant family
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or social
problem facing America...
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an estimated 24.35
million children...
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that's 33.5 percent...
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live absent... from
their biological father...
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Of students in
Grades 1 through 12
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39 percent... that's
17.7 million of them...
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live in homes absent from
their biological fathers...
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63 percent of Black children,
34 percent of Hispanic children,
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and 28 percent of White
children are living in homes
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absent from their
biological fathers...
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Today on Urban
Report... we have some people...
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some guests... that are
familiar with this situation
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Dr. Blondel Senior...
the Founder and Director
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of the Advent
Home Learning Center
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and Aaron Penninger...
Aaron is a student and resident
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of the Advent Home...
Welcome to Urban Report...
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Thank you... Thank you...
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so nice to have you here...
I'm going to start with you
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Aaron... All right...
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how long have you
been at the Advent Home?
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Far too long... I've been there
about a year and three months
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almost a year and four months...
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Okay, and what
brought you there?
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Generally, it was disrespect
towards my grandmother
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who I live with... and
disrespect towards authority
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and basically the
path I was going down...
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Okay... so, you
live with your grandma...
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not your parents? Yes...
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Where's your dad? My
dad... I've never met...
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as far as I know...
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Okay... so... were
you ever with your mom?
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Yes... I lived off
and on between my mom
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and my grandmother...
for up until I was about
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3 years old... and
then I basically just
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lived with my
grandmother for the rest...
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Okay, okay... and how has
it been not having a dad...
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is your grandfather
there as well... or...?
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My grandfather was
there until about 2005,
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he passed away in
2005 of liver failure...
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Oh, I'm sorry...
That's all right...
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what kind of
relationship did you have
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with your grandfather?
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Me and my grandfather
had a very good relationship
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we would be together a lot
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enjoy each other's company,
he worked on the Naval Base
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actually... on computers
so, he would get home about
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4 or 5 in the
afternoon but up until that time
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until bedtime... we
would just be together a lot.
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Awww... and what
did that mean to you?
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It meant a lot to me actually,
my grandfather taught me
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how to play the role of a
father when I am a father...
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Oh... what does a
father do, what do you think...
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if you think of a good
father, what do you think about?
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When I think of a good
father, I think of a person
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who is not there just
because they have to be there,
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or because they know
it's their responsibility
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or anything... but
someone who is there
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because even if it
wasn't their responsibility
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they care enough to be there...
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Ah... oh... that is beautiful,
the way you just put that
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is beautiful... they
care enough to be there...
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that's so important...
so, how do you think...
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not having a dad now in the home
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how did that affect you?
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it affected me in multiple ways
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it's made... I
felt a lot of different
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emotions... it's made me feel
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anger towards my father
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sadness...
regret... wanting to meet him
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sometimes wanting to
meet him and not do some...
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very nice things
to him... Hmmm...
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but... a lot of
times it's made me
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have to fight my own battles
and a lot of the emotions
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that I feel... get ended
up... get trapped inside of me
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and it's kind of hard to
get them out sometimes...
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Hmmm... that's a very insightful
way to look at it, you know...
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very insightful...
how old are you again?
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I'm sixteen... Sixteen...
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what do you want
to do with your life?
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What I want to do with
my life is go to college...
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become a graphic
designer... Oh... okay...
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and, of course, get
married... have a family...
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nice home... nice
car... all of the above...
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and what kind of dad do
you think that you'd be?
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I do not really know what
type of dad I'm going to be
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it's yet to be decided
although I'm going to be there
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for my children...
I'm not going to be
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one of those
people who have a child
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then walk off... to have
a child with another parent
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Hmmm... so in other words
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you're not planning to
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have a baby over here
and then a baby over there
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and a baby over there
and just not be a dad...
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Yeah... even if I
were to have a baby...
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in all those places,
I would try my hardest
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to be there for all of them...
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I see... hopefully
you... hopefully you'll have
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only one wife right?
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this is a Christian Show
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so we want to, you
know, keep it that way...
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Yeah... Yeah,
yeah, so that's really
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good... would you say
that having your grandfather
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in your life...
what kind of difference
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did it make for
you... when you had him?
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It's kind of
harder to tell because
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there really wasn't a
time when I didn't have him
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except for after he
died... after he died...
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I kind of prolonged on it...
thought about it and everything
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for 3 or so days...
and I decided to go ahead
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with my life...
and when I decided
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to go ahead with my
life, I started turning more
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rebellious towards my
grandmother, towards authority,
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whether it be Law or just
authority in School and stuff...
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Okay... now let's
go back for a second...
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so, you actually thought about
not going on with your life
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after your grandpa died?
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I wouldn't exactly say
not going on with my life,
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but, I would say
more as... since my
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grandfather died...
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just not trying in life...
Oh, I see, kind of dropping out
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of life... Yeah...
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kind of dropping out not
really putting forth effort
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okay... okay... so you then...
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instead of doing that...
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you became rebellious...
is that what you're saying?
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Yes... and so, how did it
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escalate up to the point
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where you had to
go to the Advent Home?
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Well, as my
grandmother would put it...
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I was rebellious
since the time I was born...
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Hmmm... so, I was
a hyper-active child
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when I was born...
when I came to live with my
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grandmother... even at
the little age I was...
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I would go to...
when I was hungry
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I would go to the
fridge open it up...
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get whatever I wanted out...
I pretty much fended for myself
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but as I started getting
older it sort of escalated
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into wanting to
become more independent
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and the times I did
rely on my grandmother
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and grandfather...
though I liked what I saw
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and everything and I
wish I would have kept
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relying on them...
Hmmm... so what did you do?
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What I did is... I
just started to drift away
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from them... I
started hanging out with
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some wrong people, in School...
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I started treating my friends
I had... the wrong way...
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so I'd gradually
lose my friends Hmmm...
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and since I was kind of
abandoned from my father
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at an early age, I've
had abandonment issues
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while I've been growing up...
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What does that mean tell
us what that means to you.
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That means... is... I
feel abandoned by a person
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say I have a
really close friend...
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even if they are the
closest friend I ever had
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I'll end up
pushing them away sometimes
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without really
intending to... Okay...
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so it will be like...
I got to push you away
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before you push me
away... I see, I see...
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and did you learn
all of these things
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about yourself
at the Advent Home?
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I learned them before
I got to the Advent Home
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but Advent Home is
the place where I became
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more aware of
them... Very interesting...
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the Advent Home and
learning Center... Dr. Senior...
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and thank you so
much, thank you so much...
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I'm going to be talking
back to you as well... Aaron...
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The Advent Home
and Learning Center...
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how long has it been
in existence Dr. Senior...
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Yesterday was
our 26th birthday...
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Oh... My!
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Yeah, so we're
starting our 27th year...
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Tell us about
it... what is it exactly?
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We started in
1985... at that time
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children in conservative
families were becoming
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more rebellious... and
so to prevent adjudicating
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that is... going to
Court... kids getting arrested
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getting into drugs...
we provided an alternative
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for rebellion... so
kids were now becoming
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more rebellious at home and
parents couldn't control them
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and so we set up this
Home, so parents could send
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kids to us... so we
provided an alternative
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or it provides a
minimum distraction...
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minimum
distraction... Hmmm... hmmm...
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and that's what we set up...
it is a residential facility
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that provides counseling,
schooling, and outdoor education
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for children who do not
adjust well at home or in School
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or in the Community...
and so the parents have to
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more or less...
send them to us...
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get rid of these
kids... because they're creating
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problems... they
were rebelling...
00:11:03.37\00:11:04.95
they were dropping out...
they were hiding from School
00:11:04.98\00:11:07.47
they were breaking
curfew, they were experimenting
00:11:07.50\00:11:09.95
with drugs, alcohol, sex,
00:11:09.99\00:11:11.54
and most parents
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couldn't manage
these kids and they say
00:11:14.39\00:11:16.14
they need an alternative
they need an intervention...
00:11:16.18\00:11:18.94
they need help... and
Dr. Yvonne, most of these
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kids are from
homes... with single parents...
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Hmmm... hmmm...
hmmm... fatherless homes...
00:11:26.59\00:11:29.48
It's a huge issue...
it is such a huge issue
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I think that if the fathers knew
00:11:32.40\00:11:35.35
just how powerful their
affect or absence would be
00:11:35.39\00:11:41.95
perhaps they would
do better... Yeah...
00:11:41.99\00:11:44.62
because it's
just... it's appalling to me
00:11:44.65\00:11:47.54
what's
happening... with children...
00:11:47.58\00:11:50.40
they need their fathers...
they need their fathers...
00:11:50.43\00:11:53.76
the problem...
becomes compounded
00:11:53.80\00:11:56.20
for example... a
mother who's a single parent
00:11:56.23\00:11:59.27
has to work
longer... sometimes two jobs
00:11:59.30\00:12:02.05
so she goes to work at
6 o'clock in the morning
00:12:02.09\00:12:04.46
holds down a second
job and maybe work until
00:12:04.50\00:12:07.23
8:00 p. m. and so the
kids are left for long hours
00:12:07.26\00:12:10.52
unsupervised... Yes...
00:12:10.55\00:12:11.61
and then she comes
home she's burnt out...
00:12:11.65\00:12:13.59
tired and she can't give
the kids the attention they need
00:12:13.62\00:12:17.47
Yes... and so
they become rebellious
00:12:17.51\00:12:19.35
because they
didn't see mom all day...
00:12:19.39\00:12:20.91
she'd come home... she's
tired, she's having a headache
00:12:20.95\00:12:23.16
she's miserable... or
she has to do the third job
00:12:23.19\00:12:25.73
housework... you
know, laundry, kitchen...
00:12:25.77\00:12:28.88
supervise the kids... Yes...
00:12:28.92\00:12:30.45
and this goes on...
day in and day out...
00:12:30.48\00:12:32.35
week in and week
out... and people get tired...
00:12:32.39\00:12:34.10
Yes... It's almost impossible...
00:12:34.14\00:12:36.24
It's such a
complicated, complex situation
00:12:36.28\00:12:41.04
because it's not
just one layer...
00:12:41.08\00:12:43.58
it's several layers... I
mean the mom might be there
00:12:43.62\00:12:46.82
and bless her
heart... she might be absent
00:12:46.85\00:12:48.99
even though she's
physically there...
00:12:49.02\00:12:50.93
Yes... she can be
emotionally absent
00:12:50.96\00:12:52.80
from the
children... so, the children are
00:12:52.83\00:12:54.80
kind of left to
fend for themselves...
00:12:54.83\00:12:56.86
Right... right...
and in so doing...
00:12:56.89\00:12:58.85
they make poor
choices, and that kind of thing
00:12:58.88\00:13:01.86
Aaron, when you
went to the Advent Home,
00:13:01.90\00:13:05.13
was there
something that had happened
00:13:05.17\00:13:08.33
just before you went
that made your Grandma
00:13:08.36\00:13:11.18
decide that you
needed to go there?
00:13:11.22\00:13:14.29
Right before I
came to the Advent Home,
00:13:14.32\00:13:17.49
I had been living
with another family
00:13:17.52\00:13:20.62
because she could, honestly,
not physically take any more
00:13:20.66\00:13:25.31
physically and emotionally,
00:13:25.34\00:13:27.97
and so I was living
with the other family,
00:13:28.00\00:13:31.97
I got into some
things that I shouldn't have
00:13:32.01\00:13:35.25
not necessarily drugs
but... some other things...
00:13:35.29\00:13:39.15
Okay... and that family...
00:13:39.19\00:13:41.91
I was so
rebellious towards them...
00:13:41.94\00:13:44.55
that they couldn't
start taking care of me...
00:13:44.59\00:13:47.55
that well either...
since it was their first time
00:13:47.59\00:13:50.50
taking care of a
child... I see... so you kind of
00:13:50.53\00:13:53.35
went into Foster
Care... not really Foster Care
00:13:53.38\00:13:56.12
it was some family friends
we've known for a while...
00:13:56.16\00:14:00.28
Maybe you can
call it "Neighbor Care"
00:14:00.31\00:14:03.86
Okay... Neighbor Care...
all right... so some neighbors
00:14:03.89\00:14:08.71
decided to take you in and
have you as one of their own
00:14:08.74\00:14:13.52
and then you got
into some trouble
00:14:13.56\00:14:15.77
and... Yeah, and
then, I moved back
00:14:15.81\00:14:17.95
to live with my
Grandmother, because they just
00:14:17.98\00:14:20.52
wouldn't take me
anymore, after what I had done,
00:14:20.55\00:14:23.81
and since I had been
living with my Grandmother,
00:14:23.84\00:14:27.03
she submitted a lot of reports
to different Residential Care
00:14:27.06\00:14:30.40
Facilities... and
she says that she did not
00:14:30.43\00:14:35.80
submit a report at
all to Advent Home,
00:14:35.84\00:14:38.38
and yet she got a Letter of
Acceptance to Advent Home...
00:14:38.42\00:14:41.33
Wow! isn't that... now
that must be Providential
00:14:41.37\00:14:44.94
God stepped in on
that one, what happened?
00:14:44.97\00:14:47.57
The Grandmother
told me that she applied
00:14:47.60\00:14:50.08
to several other
Community Agencies...
00:14:50.11\00:14:52.52
Residential Facilities...
and they all turned her down...
00:14:52.55\00:14:55.54
she spoke to me on the phone,
unknown to her, I'm taking notes
00:14:55.57\00:14:59.68
I'm going through a Checklist,
but she doesn't know that
00:14:59.72\00:15:02.63
necessarily... but
we talked and when I'm
00:15:02.66\00:15:04.97
through with that child, we
know at least 60 to 80 things
00:15:05.00\00:15:09.71
about that child... you
know, divorce, adoption,
00:15:09.75\00:15:13.22
behavior, depression,
anger, school et cetera...
00:15:13.25\00:15:16.66
I'm talking using this schedule,
and so I can make a decision
00:15:16.69\00:15:21.37
right then and there
whether I'd take a child or not
00:15:21.41\00:15:23.26
Ah... so we sent her an
00:15:23.29\00:15:24.78
Acceptance Letter and she
was so surprised... so glad...
00:15:24.81\00:15:28.41
because she had come
to the end of her rope,
00:15:28.44\00:15:30.72
she said that she
couldn't take it any more
00:15:30.75\00:15:32.66
she didn't know
what she was going to do,
00:15:32.70\00:15:34.70
and so, she sent him
to the Advent Home...
00:15:34.73\00:15:36.70
we take kids who
are very serious...
00:15:36.74\00:15:38.83
very serious...
emotional behavior problems
00:15:38.86\00:15:41.69
so you do have some children...
00:15:41.73\00:15:44.28
do you have any...
for example that have
00:15:44.32\00:15:47.53
Childhood Schizophrenia
00:15:47.56\00:15:48.87
or anything
that... or Bi-polar...
00:15:48.91\00:15:51.65
Yes... yes... We have Bi-polar,
00:15:51.69\00:15:54.52
we have Schizophrenia,
we have Tourette's Syndrome
00:15:54.55\00:15:56.55
we have Asperger's...
00:15:56.59\00:15:57.88
we have ODD,
Oppositional Defiant Disorder,
00:15:57.91\00:16:01.28
we have Conduct
Disorder, ADHD... name it...
00:16:01.31\00:16:04.32
those kids come to
us... we get the kids
00:16:04.36\00:16:07.26
who have
exhausted the School System
00:16:07.29\00:16:10.13
the Church System...
the Community System...
00:16:10.16\00:16:12.73
and now they
don't know what to do
00:16:12.77\00:16:14.53
and they are about to drop out
00:16:14.56\00:16:16.57
or run away... or be abandoned,
00:16:16.60\00:16:18.54
or there's nothing
in the Community...
00:16:18.57\00:16:21.27
they've exhausted
their Psychiatrists...
00:16:21.30\00:16:23.15
they've exhausted
their Social Worker
00:16:23.18\00:16:24.95
and they're seeing their
Police Officer more often...
00:16:24.99\00:16:28.60
they are... might
be very violent at home
00:16:28.64\00:16:31.18
parents are threatened...
and they're not coming home
00:16:31.21\00:16:34.70
on weekends... and so
it's the last resort...
00:16:34.73\00:16:39.31
So, so, this is a great
thing... so walk me through
00:16:39.35\00:16:43.20
if you would... I
bring my son to you...
00:16:43.23\00:16:48.28
and he's been disrespectful,
he's been smoking weed,
00:16:48.32\00:16:55.17
he's been... not
doing his school...
00:16:55.21\00:16:58.48
he's just... Defiant..
00:16:58.51\00:16:59.71
defiant... failing on
all counts Hmmm... hmmm...
00:16:59.74\00:17:03.65
what do you do
from the outset...
00:17:03.68\00:17:06.26
when I bring him to
you and say, "I can't...
00:17:06.30\00:17:08.74
I can't do this
anymore... " what do you do?
00:17:08.78\00:17:11.06
Well, he does not
know... I don't talk with him
00:17:11.10\00:17:13.37
but I talk with the
parents or the grandparents
00:17:13.41\00:17:15.74
or the guardian... he
does not know... but I know
00:17:15.78\00:17:18.08
a lot about him...
00:17:18.11\00:17:19.82
When he first shows up...
00:17:19.85\00:17:21.07
the moment he walks
in, I know a lot about him,
00:17:21.10\00:17:23.90
and so, I would
say something like...
00:17:23.93\00:17:26.04
we're interviewing him,
we're orienting the child
00:17:26.08\00:17:28.54
Right... takes about three hours
00:17:28.58\00:17:30.06
to orient him to the Program,
and it's a very positive
00:17:30.10\00:17:32.84
experience... handshake,
"thank you for coming to
00:17:32.87\00:17:35.27
the Advent Home,
this is a good School...
00:17:35.30\00:17:37.28
I want you to know that we
turned down 39 kids to take you"
00:17:37.32\00:17:41.30
so we get about 40
applications, and we take one...
00:17:41.34\00:17:45.61
Wow... for different reasons...
00:17:45.65\00:17:47.42
So he knows that he's
wanted... Yes... he's special...
00:17:47.46\00:17:51.34
he's special, he's
chosen, by the School...
00:17:51.38\00:17:53.97
Yes, and I'd say, the
parents are sitting there
00:17:54.01\00:17:56.03
the parents are
there... the child is there...
00:17:56.07\00:17:58.06
and the child is
usually apprehensive...
00:17:58.09\00:18:01.80
or angry...
because he was not told
00:18:01.83\00:18:05.45
that he was going
to be brought there...
00:18:05.49\00:18:06.79
Right... so he's angry...
00:18:06.82\00:18:08.16
and then it's a surprise...
but it's a very disarming
00:18:08.19\00:18:10.41
environment...
and I would ask him,
00:18:10.45\00:18:13.30
"Tell me why did your
parents make the decision
00:18:13.34\00:18:15.72
to send you to the Advent
Home? and they would start out
00:18:15.76\00:18:19.55
by lying... "I don't know...
00:18:19.59\00:18:21.57
I don't have any problem
etc. " so, I'd say then...
00:18:21.61\00:18:24.42
"What about
stealing the car last week?"
00:18:24.45\00:18:26.24
"Oh, okay... okay yeah... "
00:18:26.27\00:18:28.97
Like "How did you know that?"
00:18:29.01\00:18:31.34
yes... how did I
know... we'd talk about that
00:18:31.37\00:18:33.14
then I'd ask, "How
are you doing in School?"
00:18:33.17\00:18:34.87
"I'm doing fine... "
"Why did you make 2 Fs and a D
00:18:34.90\00:18:39.25
in Math?" so I
begin to disarm him
00:18:39.29\00:18:42.41
that... I know a
lot about you guys...
00:18:42.44\00:18:45.49
don't lie to me...
so, they begin to change
00:18:45.53\00:18:47.93
and begin to be
truthful and be upfront...
00:18:47.97\00:18:49.98
because it's not dangerous,
it's okay to be truthful...
00:18:50.02\00:18:53.83
Hmmm... so, I'll walk him in...
00:18:53.87\00:18:55.08
and so they come
to the Advent Home
00:18:55.11\00:18:56.65
and we take their things
00:18:56.68\00:18:58.66
after about an
hour of Orientation
00:18:58.69\00:19:01.92
we tour the
campus... and staff comes
00:19:01.96\00:19:04.87
and take the child
to the Dormitory...
00:19:04.91\00:19:07.75
so, for the first time now,
he's separated from his parents
00:19:07.78\00:19:10.63
and I tell him...
"Your parents will come
00:19:10.67\00:19:12.76
in a few minutes... " and
I will talk with the parents
00:19:12.79\00:19:16.16
or inquire about certain
things, and the child has gone
00:19:16.19\00:19:19.52
to the Dorm... so
now there is a separation
00:19:19.56\00:19:21.57
and he's now
obeying other Staff...
00:19:21.61\00:19:24.24
we eventually get to the Dorm
and we go through his things
00:19:24.28\00:19:27.52
searching for
contrabands or things that are
00:19:27.56\00:19:30.68
inappropriate...
even a Cell Phone...
00:19:30.71\00:19:32.54
he can't keep a Cell
Phone... so we help him out
00:19:32.57\00:19:36.96
to develop what is called a
Minimum Distraction Environment
00:19:36.99\00:19:41.62
no cigarette... no drugs...
no knife... no cell phone...
00:19:41.65\00:19:47.16
no iPod... no technology...
that will make him be distracted
00:19:47.20\00:19:52.67
okay... and we take
him to the Advent Home
00:19:52.71\00:19:55.21
and we take away all
those things in his presence...
00:19:55.25\00:19:56.91
and you must
remember now... we take...
00:19:56.94\00:19:59.11
we have about 32 to 36 kids...
we have approximately 35 staff
00:19:59.15\00:20:04.65
so we're not
understaffed... in the least...
00:20:04.68\00:20:07.04
That's great... so the
kid might be surrounded
00:20:07.07\00:20:09.39
by three guys who
are all disarming...
00:20:09.43\00:20:12.47
very friendly... very helpful...
00:20:12.50\00:20:14.12
but you are not going
to mess around them...
00:20:14.15\00:20:16.54
in terms of being
physical... and it's rare
00:20:16.57\00:20:18.60
that the child will
be physical, it's rare...
00:20:18.63\00:20:20.59
one in five years... Now,
are they... in a Dormitory
00:20:20.63\00:20:25.10
situation... how
many to a room...
00:20:25.13\00:20:27.43
how many? Four to a room...
00:20:27.46\00:20:28.53
four to a room... And
the rooms are designed
00:20:28.57\00:20:30.78
where person one
cannot see person three
00:20:30.81\00:20:32.96
or person four... the
room is divided into cells
00:20:32.99\00:20:36.17
I see... but it's a room,
00:20:36.20\00:20:37.75
you have privacy they
have your own light switch,
00:20:37.79\00:20:40.21
there's a bathroom in the room,
00:20:40.24\00:20:41.65
in the same room... so there
are four kids and a bathroom
00:20:41.69\00:20:44.85
they have their own desk,
they have their own cubby,
00:20:44.89\00:20:47.71
they have place
to hang their clothes
00:20:47.75\00:20:49.71
it's four but it's very private,
one of the kids in the room
00:20:49.75\00:20:54.50
is called a Junior
Staff, or a Group Leader...
00:20:54.53\00:20:57.58
and a Group Leader is
an older, more mature kid
00:20:57.62\00:21:00.63
he's there a longer
time, he's more mature
00:21:00.66\00:21:03.29
and on the point
system... he's climbing up
00:21:03.32\00:21:05.88
and he is in charge of
the informality of the room
00:21:05.92\00:21:09.55
he will guide that
kid, he will counsel him,
00:21:09.59\00:21:12.24
he'll teach him the
ropes, Kind of mentoring...
00:21:12.28\00:21:14.90
Mentoring...
yes... yes... mentoring...
00:21:14.94\00:21:16.45
we let him find his way around
00:21:16.48\00:21:18.47
because once they get
there as soon as they get there,
00:21:18.51\00:21:21.04
they have to take
on responsibility...
00:21:21.08\00:21:22.90
has shifted... you
have to make up your bed
00:21:22.94\00:21:25.48
you have to
pick up your clothes,
00:21:25.51\00:21:27.03
you have to take your
clothes to the laundry...
00:21:27.07\00:21:28.97
you have to fold your clothes
00:21:29.00\00:21:30.27
and so forth... so the
responsibility has shifted
00:21:30.30\00:21:33.27
now you may ask these
kids or ask the parents,
00:21:33.30\00:21:35.70
"Does he keep his room clean?"
00:21:35.73\00:21:36.99
"Oh" the parents will
say, "his room is so messy...
00:21:37.03\00:21:41.52
it has four
inches of... you know"
00:21:41.56\00:21:43.95
I think that's a typical teen...
Yeah... typical teenager...
00:21:43.99\00:21:46.03
but the Advent Home
is... immaculately clean...
00:21:46.06\00:21:48.37
immaculately clean...
because cleanliness and order...
00:21:48.40\00:21:50.98
Great, so now we're
looking at discipline
00:21:51.02\00:21:53.10
I'm saying... we're
looking at discipline now
00:21:53.13\00:21:55.39
and keeping things in
order... Yes... neatness...
00:21:55.43\00:21:57.66
it's discipline...
work is discipline...
00:21:57.69\00:21:59.29
Yes... yes...
following instructions
00:21:59.33\00:22:01.16
is discipline... Hmmm... hmmm...
00:22:01.19\00:22:02.95
you know... listening to
the other boys is discipline...
00:22:02.99\00:22:05.16
working as a group
member is discipline...
00:22:05.19\00:22:07.68
working as a
team is discipline...
00:22:07.71\00:22:09.86
and then... if he comes
with an outlandish hairdo...
00:22:09.89\00:22:13.86
he gets it cut
within a few hours...
00:22:13.89\00:22:16.18
Okay... and no weird colors
like green and pink and blue
00:22:16.21\00:22:20.75
and all that... no
T-shirts that has outlandish
00:22:20.79\00:22:23.05
pictures or artwork
or anything like that...
00:22:23.09\00:22:25.82
Hmmm... hmmm...
00:22:25.86\00:22:27.01
we're asking him to
dress for success...
00:22:27.04\00:22:28.84
and that's what he begins to...
he begins dress for success...
00:22:28.88\00:22:32.02
behave for success...
and conform to behaviors
00:22:32.05\00:22:35.02
that will pay back...
make you successful...
00:22:35.06\00:22:37.96
That's great... now, where
does spirituality come in...
00:22:37.99\00:22:41.02
how do you bring...
how do you integrate
00:22:41.05\00:22:43.93
spirituality into your Program?
00:22:43.97\00:22:46.48
Throughout the whole
Program there's spirituality
00:22:46.51\00:22:49.82
but let me say something...
spirituality comes in
00:22:49.86\00:22:53.14
through health... we
teach health first...
00:22:53.18\00:22:56.25
okay... before we shift...
00:22:56.29\00:22:57.80
because kids like to be healthy
00:22:57.84\00:22:59.29
so now the kid is
taking a bath everyday...
00:22:59.32\00:23:01.66
and these kids tend not
to take baths everyday...
00:23:01.69\00:23:04.38
and to be rebellious... Okay...
00:23:04.42\00:23:05.75
his hair is cut...
he's nicely dressed...
00:23:05.79\00:23:08.31
and he's in uniform...
00:23:08.34\00:23:09.49
uniform is a Khaki
pant and a polo shirt...
00:23:09.53\00:23:12.23
Wow, so they're in uniform...
00:23:12.27\00:23:13.69
Uniform... yes...
but it's nice clothes
00:23:13.73\00:23:15.38
and he's nicely dressed...
he lives in a very nice Dorm...
00:23:15.42\00:23:19.30
and we have morning worship,
00:23:19.34\00:23:21.56
short but to the point,
00:23:21.59\00:23:23.06
we have evening
worship... short to the point...
00:23:23.10\00:23:25.17
we say grace at meal times,
so the Program has an overtone
00:23:25.21\00:23:29.07
of Christian
values... Hmmm... hmmm...
00:23:29.10\00:23:31.13
Okay... but health is
very, very important...
00:23:31.17\00:23:33.28
if you can reach a
child through health...
00:23:33.31\00:23:35.74
then it becomes the
avenue for other things...
00:23:35.77\00:23:38.92
it's not unusual for a
child if he's overweight
00:23:38.96\00:23:42.07
to lose a
hundred pounds... Wow...
00:23:42.10\00:23:44.61
it's not unusual to
lose 50 pounds... 40 pounds,
00:23:44.65\00:23:46.52
and what about
those who are underweight?
00:23:46.56\00:23:48.78
How do they fare? They
gain... because muscles...
00:23:48.81\00:23:51.38
how come? Because
flabbiness becomes
00:23:51.42\00:23:52.85
muscles... All right...
00:23:52.89\00:23:54.03
so they gain weight...
good... so they have a work
00:23:54.06\00:23:57.21
schedule as well...
Yes... the day starts at 6 a. m.
00:23:57.25\00:24:00.36
and by 6:40 or 6:45...
00:24:00.39\00:24:03.69
it's breakfast... and you
have a group of kids helping
00:24:03.73\00:24:06.74
by 7:45... 7:50...
they need to clean up
00:24:06.78\00:24:11.30
what is called
zones... there's a group of kids
00:24:11.34\00:24:13.11
in the kitchen for it...
00:24:13.14\00:24:14.57
there's a group of kids on
the outside of the building,
00:24:14.60\00:24:17.14
there's a group of kids on
the downstairs of the building
00:24:17.17\00:24:19.71
and there's a group of kids
on the upstairs of the building
00:24:19.75\00:24:22.25
and then they have
work like laundry...
00:24:22.29\00:24:24.63
you know... we might
wash 16 loads of clothes a day
00:24:24.67\00:24:27.86
and those need to be collected
need to be brought down
00:24:27.90\00:24:31.06
need to be folded...
need to be distributed...
00:24:31.10\00:24:33.43
so it's like a
large extended family...
00:24:33.47\00:24:36.31
and everyone is contributing...
then during the right season
00:24:36.35\00:24:40.00
you have grass to
cut... and the lawn to cut...
00:24:40.03\00:24:42.77
the building to be
painted, dishes to be washed,
00:24:42.80\00:24:45.50
so forth... so
they're in School by 8 o'clock
00:24:45.53\00:24:48.15
and worship is from 8:00 to 8:30
00:24:48.19\00:24:50.65
School is from 8:00 to 1:00
00:24:50.69\00:24:53.30
okay... so you have a little
spirituality there... built in
00:24:53.34\00:24:56.87
and it's a regular school...
we are a regular school
00:24:56.91\00:24:59.33
very beautiful building...
one of our parents and
00:24:59.36\00:25:02.31
grandparents...
built it for us...
00:25:02.35\00:25:03.50
because we helped her
grandson, so they go to school
00:25:03.54\00:25:07.61
and then from 1
to 2... it's lunch...
00:25:07.65\00:25:11.31
and so they come
over... and maybe 1 or 2 kids
00:25:11.35\00:25:16.17
were sent to the
cafeteria to prep...
00:25:16.21\00:25:18.71
put the utensils out...
00:25:18.75\00:25:20.43
put the napkins
out... Hmmm... hmmm...
00:25:20.46\00:25:22.07
and prepare for lunch...
00:25:22.10\00:25:24.01
so, lunch is 1 to 2...
00:25:24.04\00:25:25.92
from 2 to 5...
00:25:25.95\00:25:28.13
a student may
participate in 3 things...
00:25:28.17\00:25:30.76
Outdoor Education...
for example... gardening...
00:25:30.79\00:25:33.64
they learn to work in the
garden we have some of the most
00:25:33.68\00:25:36.43
beautiful vegetables...
you have ever seen...
00:25:36.47\00:25:38.82
Ah... and that
also helps the health...
00:25:38.86\00:25:40.73
very therapeutic... yes...
00:25:40.76\00:25:41.98
So, let me just
bring you down here...
00:25:42.02\00:25:45.94
toward the end here
00:25:45.97\00:25:47.35
because we're ending our Program
the time has just flown by
00:25:47.38\00:25:50.84
I mean... there's so
much more I could ask you...
00:25:50.87\00:25:53.24
Yes... but, in general,
00:25:53.27\00:25:55.07
how would you say, in one minute
00:25:55.11\00:25:59.21
fatherlessness has impacted
the students at the Advent Home?
00:25:59.24\00:26:06.53
Well, the child does
not know how to behave...
00:26:06.56\00:26:09.06
because he has not learned
those types of behaviors...
00:26:09.10\00:26:12.41
Hmmm... hmmm...
doesn't learn to be a man,
00:26:12.44\00:26:14.02
doesn't learn to be courageous,
00:26:14.05\00:26:16.05
we jokingly say,
00:26:16.08\00:26:18.34
"The kids come... and
they are allergic to work. "
00:26:18.37\00:26:21.24
Wow... they
don't know how to use
00:26:21.28\00:26:23.31
a broom... a dust
pan... a shovel...
00:26:23.34\00:26:25.46
because they do
not see that at home...
00:26:25.49\00:26:26.97
because they
haven't had a role model...
00:26:27.01\00:26:28.46
never had a role model...
00:26:28.49\00:26:29.58
we need to put up your
address so that people can know
00:26:29.62\00:26:33.38
how to contact you...
or how to reach you...
00:26:33.41\00:26:35.70
because so many
children really need
00:26:35.74\00:26:38.60
the services that you
have, so many families...
00:26:38.64\00:26:41.19
let's put up your
address right now...
00:26:41.23\00:26:43.66
the Advent Home
and Learning Center...
00:26:43.69\00:26:46.09
AdventHome. org
00:26:46.13\00:26:51.88
Thank you so much for
being with us today...
00:27:32.48\00:27:35.46
we really appreciate your
participation on our Program
00:27:35.49\00:27:38.50
As you've heard... the
problem of fatherlessness
00:27:38.54\00:27:41.64
has a profound
affect on the family unit...
00:27:41.67\00:27:43.91
while we're grateful
for the affects and efforts
00:27:43.94\00:27:46.66
of the Advent Home
and Learning Center...
00:27:46.70\00:27:48.53
we must ask ourselves,
"How can we stop the cycle?"
00:27:48.57\00:27:51.36
I believe that it's
only with the help of God
00:27:51.40\00:27:54.26
the Ultimate Father
that the situation can be
00:27:54.30\00:27:57.12
remedied... well,
that's all for today's
00:27:57.16\00:27:59.70
Urban Report...
thanks for joining us...
00:27:59.73\00:28:02.10
it just wouldn't be
the same without you...
00:28:02.14\00:28:04.47