Welcome to Teen Pathways,
and we want to invite you all
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to spend the next half an hour
with us. We have a very exciting
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subject that we want to talk
about and it's during a time
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that's really
critical to a youth's life
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and one of the most, could be
the most, difficult time because
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young people are being
pressured by other young people,
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there's different
things that are going on.
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You see people doing things
you want to do and you know
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that it's not right, but
the battle that goes within.
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So we want to talk about
that with our group that we have
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here today, but before we get
started I'll go ahead and let
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everyone introduce
themselves, starting to my left.
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Hi, I'm Larissa
Chapman. I'm a 17 year senior
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at Duncanville High.
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Hi, I'm Reggie Dupard. I won't
tell my age, but I'm in my 40's.
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[Everyone laughs]
Hi, Calvin Johnson,
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I'm a 17 year old senior at
Lakeview Centennial High School.
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Hi. My name is Nicollet
Jones, I'm 14 and I live
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in the Dallas Area District.
Hi, my name is Amber Cheatham,
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I'm 15 years old, and
I live in Dallas, Texas.
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Hi, my name is Jonathan
Dupard, I'm 13 and I go to [?].
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My name is Andressa Battles,
I'm 18 years old and I'm
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a sophomore in college
and I reside in Tyler, Texas.
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I'm a member of the SDA church.
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Very good, thank you
all so much for that.
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So one of the
things that we talked about
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in terms of a group,
and things that you're going
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through now; junior high,
Reggie, you know for us was
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a long time ago. Yes. And
probably we didn't go through
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the same things that the
young people are experiencing
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these days, but more
specifically, I want to say,
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and maybe by starting off with
my son because first of all,
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we've been doing Teen
Pathways for quite some time
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and he's been dying for ever,
since he's been a little kid:
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"When am I going to get
to go on Teen Pathways?"
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So this is his first year that
he actually became a teenager
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and he was able to join us, and
he's been trying to talk about
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different things. So... Jonathan
I'm going to start off with you,
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so you're in the 7th grade.
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Tell us some things
that you experienced in
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junior high school that you may
not like, and how God is kind
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of helped you get through it.
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Well, I've experienced
different kinds of kids,
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different problems with them,
different kinds of mood swings,
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very short
tempers [Everybody laughs]
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and God's just
delivered me through that
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because He helped me not to
do the stuff that they're doing.
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Well, what are some of
the things that they do?
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Do they actually do things like
leave the campus, or anything?
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Yes, some of the kids
skip school sometimes,
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most of the time
it's the 8th graders.
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Not the 7th graders
right? You're all perfect.
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Well, I can talk
about the 7th graders too;
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the 7th graders, they have
more attitude, mostly the girls,
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but sometimes the
boys. When you say attitude,
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and of course you were
raised in a Christian home
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and you were taught
to respect your elders,
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so tell us what
you mean by attitude.
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Some may not
understand what attitude means.
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Well what I mean by attitude
is that kids that don't respect
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other people, don't
respect their property,
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and don't give them the 2
feet of space. [Everyone laughs]
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That's a rule? 2 feet rule?
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I thought 50 feet.
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Okay, so these are some things,
because you know, as parents
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we're so overprotective
of you guys, I mean,
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we really love you, we
don't want anybody messing
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with our children, and the Lord
helps us through this as well,
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so one particularly, and I
want Jonathan to talk about
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this more recent experience
that we had where some,
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of your property was stolen,
and how you handled that,
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not only the first
time, but the second time.
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Well, in gym, we have
to wear uniforms in gym,
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the boys have a gym day
and the girls have a gym day,
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so we switch up every other day.
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So, somebody steals my stuff,
I don't know when they did it
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and I didn't happen to
have a lock in my locker,
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so they stole it the first time.
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What did they steal?
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They stole my gym
shorts, and they stole my shirt.
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The shirt, they never
stole that again because I never
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brought the shirt to school,
but the shorts, I thought nobody
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was going to steal them because
[incomprehensible speech],
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but it didn't trick anybody,
and they ended up stealing that.
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How did you handle it?
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I was all up into the boy's face
trying to get my stuff back.
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So you fit the description
of how you said the kids are.
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2 feet of space, they
provoked you to anger, right?
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So what we have to is, we have
to learn that even when things
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like this happen to us, we
just have to learn from it,
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move on, and just say:
"Okay, I got my stuff stolen. "
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"I can't trust people and I'm
not going to allow myself to be"
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"put into this situation
again. " So we had to drill this
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into his head for weeks
because he was so angry.
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He couldn't understand
why do people have to steal,
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why do you have to be a thief.
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Well I think a lot of it, being
raised in a Christian home,
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and the world is
changing and I just think that
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in Christian homes
and in Christian schools,
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I'm not saying
that they're doing
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a lot of stealing, but we
have to prepare our children to,
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in light of negative things,
to always not take out their
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frustrations on one
another, but to pray and trust
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in God in all
that they do. Exactly.
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So Nicollet, thank you
for sharing that Jonathan,
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Nicollet you're
also in Junior High.
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Can you tell us about
some of your experiences?
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Well, my friends, they know
that I'm not able to get tattoos
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or piercings in my body,
so they always ask me to go
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to the store with them so
they can get my ears pierced
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and I'm like: "No, I can't
go and get my ears pierced"
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"because my body is the temple
of God, and He doesn't want"
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"any piercings or
any drawings on me. "
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Okay, so they want to
take you to the store?
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Yeah, they want me to go to
the mall with them so I can get
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my ears pierced with
them. That's very interesting.
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And what do you tell
them? I say no. - Oh really?
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Your mother has raised you
to make your own decisions at,
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you're 13 now? 14. So, at 14
years old you're able to make
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a stand for what your
mother has taught you.
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Yeah, and from reading
the Bible, and Bible studies,
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and everything, and
from the church too. Amen.
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That's good, it seems like you
understand that you can't get
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piercings and tattoos,
not because you're parents
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say you can't, but because
you understand from reading
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the Bible that that's
not what God wants for you,
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because sometimes people
say: "Oh, my mum says I can't,"
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"and my dad says I
can't" but they don't know that
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God says you can't. That's
right. So I'm glad that you can.
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And so, Andressa,
at what age did you,
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because you're talking
to her like just a grown up?
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No! [Everybody Laughs]
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And so, at what age
did it click for you that:
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"Hey, I'm going to
stand for the principles"
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"that my mother
has instilled in me. "
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When did it click for you?
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Are you still dealing with peer
pressures on different levels?
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I'm still dealing with peer
pressure. It doesn't go away,
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it's just changes because
in the High School it was,
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you know, the parties,
or... - lots of little stuff -
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Yeah, little stuff,
but now in college it's,
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the biggest issue with
me is keeping the Sabbath.
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That's the peer pressure
now because when you're trying
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to find a job, I'm trying
to find a job, and I was doing
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interviews and I thought
I had this one in the bag
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and he was telling me: "Okay,
we're going to come back,"
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"we're going to do the
drugs test and then orientation"
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"is on Saturday. "
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And I was like: "No,
that's not going to work. "
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"I'm a Sabbath
keeper, and I can't go. "
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And he said that's the
only way I can have the job
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- if I do the orientation
on Saturday. He was like:
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"I'm sorry" and I'm
like: "I'm sorry too. "
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Well sweetheart, let me
tell you, that particular one,
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that doesn't change.
I'm still experiencing it,
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well I didn't say my age,
good, thank you God, but...
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- you're in your 40's - ...
I'm in my 40's, that is correct,
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and you, might I tell... -
OK OK, we won't go into that -
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but no matter what age you
are you still look good to me.
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OK, thank you.
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But, you know, even at
our ages, even as adults,
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we experience peer
pressure because, you know,
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the Bible says we are
to live in the world but
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not be of the world. And
so, you're going to always have
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that temptation that the
Devil will put before us,
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but we have to stand
for God's principles.
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You do, and I think what's a
little bit better for you almost
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because for you to be in college
at the ages that you are,
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and have a job, you need a job
right now, so to actually say:
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"I'm not going to do
it" is very rewarding,
00:09:09.80\00:09:15.65
because the Lord
is going to bless you.
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I've learnt that when
you make a stand for Jesus,
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He comes back double
time and you may not know
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when it's going to
happen, you may be thinking:
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"Man, is it
going to happen soon?"
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"Is it going to be 2 months?",
but the timing will be when
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it's just right for you.
That may have looked good,
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you know "I had that
job, I had the job!",
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but as Mrs. Dupard said,
everything is going to work out
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because there's going
to be a way better job.
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Amber, what is your situation
with, your a sophomore now
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in high school -
right? correct about that? -,
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what is your experience
with dealing with things that
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are a little different from
what you're being raised to do?
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Well, at my school
people are always doing stuff,
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some people steal, some
people even drink at school.
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At school? Yeah, they
have little cups, the red cups
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or the yellow cups and stuff is
in it. It's just very horrible,
00:10:05.69\00:10:09.19
and some girl got
caught smoking in the bathroom,
00:10:10.15\00:10:12.59
smelling up the whole
school. And they just know that
00:10:12.63\00:10:15.68
I don't do certain stuff,
but all that stuff is around me
00:10:15.72\00:10:18.74
and I just try to keep
to my studies and move on.
00:10:19.12\00:10:22.61
I understand and I know
I like to talk to you guys
00:10:22.94\00:10:25.84
because the early
teens, Reggie's over the class,
00:10:25.87\00:10:29.04
but I come in and sit
sometimes, what we want to know
00:10:29.07\00:10:32.05
is how did you get to such
a point where you're so mature
00:10:32.09\00:10:35.04
and making such good decisions
on not running with the crowd,
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or not smoking and not being
in a bathroom with these girls.
00:10:40.08\00:10:43.15
And I know your
attitude, you're always like:
00:10:43.43\00:10:45.35
"They are so dumb. Why
do they do that stuff?"
00:10:45.39\00:10:47.28
So how do you get
to that? I don't know,
00:10:47.31\00:10:49.75
I just learnt it from my mother.
00:10:49.78\00:10:52.59
My mother's always been
strong and she just raised me
00:10:52.63\00:10:55.78
knowing right from wrong, and
I can look at things and say:
00:10:55.82\00:10:58.89
"Why are they doing that?
You know you're going to get
00:10:58.97\00:11:01.07
"caught" or whatever.
00:11:01.10\00:11:03.08
I really commend you on
that because a lot of kids,
00:11:04.10\00:11:07.15
they're smart enough,
00:11:07.18\00:11:09.06
I think every kid is smart
enough to know right from wrong,
00:11:09.37\00:11:12.17
it's just dealing with
the pressure, they'd be like:
00:11:12.20\00:11:15.76
"It's wrong, but maybe if
I just do it this one time.
00:11:15.95\00:11:19.59
"It's wrong, but I'll just
ask God for forgiveness later".
00:11:20.59\00:11:24.05
And then it winds up being a
habit, so I commend you on that.
00:11:24.09\00:11:27.52
Like you said Narissa, what
we need to be mindful of is that
00:11:28.30\00:11:32.11
that's the Devil that's
encouraging young people
00:11:32.14\00:11:34.82
to do things, and they
don't realize that when you go
00:11:34.86\00:11:37.59
against what your
parents have instilled in you,
00:11:37.62\00:11:39.53
and the principles of God
because God is in all of us,
00:11:39.57\00:11:42.39
and we all know through
the Holy Spirit what is right
00:11:42.43\00:11:45.18
and what is wrong. And
so, when they allow the Devil
00:11:45.22\00:11:47.72
to use them, they don't
understand the repercussions
00:11:47.75\00:11:50.22
that it can have
much later in your life.
00:11:50.25\00:11:52.12
You know the Devil
doesn't tell you that he's going
00:11:52.16\00:11:53.64
to allow drugs to take over
you life and so that's the trick
00:11:53.68\00:11:56.90
and we need to be very
prayerful. I feel blessed,
00:11:56.93\00:12:00.14
personally, because me
being an older brother,
00:12:00.18\00:12:03.56
I have a sister in
middle school, so it's almost
00:12:03.59\00:12:06.90
like I could feel both
sides. I could almost feel like
00:12:06.94\00:12:09.27
a parent because I
worry sometimes because I see
00:12:09.30\00:12:13.33
things in my sister that,
me personally, I went through,
00:12:13.37\00:12:16.60
and I'm worried about the kind
of choices she's going to make.
00:12:16.64\00:12:19.62
So I've been through it myself
and I almost feel like a parent
00:12:19.77\00:12:22.60
myself because I want to look
out for my sister and I want
00:12:22.63\00:12:25.02
to make sure that she
makes the right kind of choices.
00:12:25.06\00:12:27.42
So do you sit and talk
to her? What do you do?
00:12:27.45\00:12:29.48
Do you talk to her
and go: "what's going on?"
00:12:29.51\00:12:31.51
How are you dealing with it?
00:12:31.54\00:12:32.51
Well, it seems that
mostly, when it started off,
00:12:32.52\00:12:35.97
I would just be on the outside
looking in, but it's lately,
00:12:36.01\00:12:38.93
sometimes I just have to put
my 2 cents in, I've got to say
00:12:38.97\00:12:41.87
a few things just to make sure
... just to keep it in her mind.
00:12:41.90\00:12:44.77
I'm not in a position to tell
her what to do, but I can try
00:12:45.37\00:12:48.32
to lay some advice and tell her:
"You know I've been through"
00:12:48.35\00:12:51.18
"this, and it wasn't too long
ago, so I know what it's like. "
00:12:51.22\00:12:54.02
So sometimes I just try to
keep it instilled in her mind.
00:12:54.05\00:12:56.81
I have a question
for the group, or whoever
00:12:57.52\00:12:59.36
wants to answer, at some
point when you're dealing
00:12:59.40\00:13:01.79
with these things that
young people go through
00:13:01.83\00:13:04.19
but at some point do you
all say: "I pray God that You"
00:13:05.56\00:13:09.14
"help me and show me what
to do". Yeah. All the time.
00:13:09.18\00:13:13.37
Because the Bible says in
James 4:7: "Submit yourselves,"
00:13:13.40\00:13:16.95
"then, to God. Resist the devil,
and he will flee from you. "
00:13:16.98\00:13:20.50
"Come near to God and
He will come near to you. "
00:13:20.53\00:13:22.93
And so, when being in
high school and going through
00:13:23.09\00:13:26.52
the peer pressure, and junior
high, Jonathan and Nicolette
00:13:26.56\00:13:30.29
have gone through, I just didn't
do it. And eventually that
00:13:30.32\00:13:33.79
went away. Sooner or later my
friends got tired of asking me
00:13:33.82\00:13:37.26
to go to the movies
with them on Friday nights.
00:13:37.29\00:13:39.16
They just said: "She's not going
to go, so don't even ask her. "
00:13:39.20\00:13:41.94
So eventually it just
stops. If you just be strong
00:13:41.97\00:13:45.99
and you just pray, God
will help you, the Devil
00:13:46.02\00:13:50.01
will flee from
you. That's right.
00:13:50.04\00:13:51.50
So there's hope for
my son and my daughter.
00:13:51.54\00:13:53.67
Jonathan, you're going to
want to do it, you're going
00:13:53.71\00:13:55.52
to want to do it all the
time because they're always
00:13:55.55\00:13:57.33
going to ask you
and it's always come up:
00:13:57.36\00:13:59.00
"Dad, can I go to this? Man it's
a Friday night, I can't go. "
00:13:59.04\00:14:03.67
And you're going to see
them smoking, they're going
00:14:03.70\00:14:05.71
to be doing drugs,
they're going to be drinking.
00:14:05.75\00:14:07.69
Well I hope they're not going
to be doing all those things.
00:14:07.73\00:14:10.10
No matter where you go, you're
always going to have people
00:14:11.83\00:14:13.45
doing those kind of
things, no matter where you go.
00:14:13.48\00:14:15.89
You're always going to be
like: "I want to do it, but... "
00:14:17.77\00:14:20.58
it's always "No", just forget
about it because you're going
00:14:20.61\00:14:23.15
to get offered along, but those
are going to be the alcoholics,
00:14:23.18\00:14:25.28
the drug addicts. You're going
to be like: "I went to school"
00:14:25.31\00:14:27.38
"with that kid. Damn, I'm
glad I didn't hang with him".
00:14:27.41\00:14:29.69
What do you say babe?
I'm going to stand because
00:14:31.08\00:14:34.42
I run track and some of the
track races are on Saturdays,
00:14:35.39\00:14:39.52
and I also have recently played
football, and some of my games
00:14:39.56\00:14:44.44
are on Saturdays and some
Fridays, and I'm not able to go.
00:14:44.47\00:14:49.32
I tell my coaches that
I'm not able to go, which,
00:14:50.19\00:14:54.06
I'm not thinking is really good
00:14:54.26\00:14:56.25
because this is my first year.
00:14:56.66\00:14:58.77
I meant that because I
haven't played for a long time.
00:14:58.87\00:15:01.73
But that's one thing
that we haven't had to really
00:15:01.77\00:15:04.60
say and step up:
"Well Jonathan, you can't!".
00:15:04.63\00:15:06.28
He usually handles it before we
get to it, so that's a blessing
00:15:06.32\00:15:09.26
...well baby, you are going
to be good now, you are going
00:15:09.99\00:15:13.10
to be alright, just hang
on tough. So the other thing
00:15:13.13\00:15:16.00
is that I want to say is
that even though you other guys
00:15:16.04\00:15:18.84
are fleeing from the Devil,
that's great, but you're going
00:15:18.87\00:15:21.64
to be tempted because I
was tempted as a youngster
00:15:21.67\00:15:23.85
and I remember, I was
just sitting here thinking,
00:15:23.88\00:15:26.03
the time that my parents
went out of town and I thought:
00:15:26.84\00:15:30.46
"Ok, they're going out of
town. Let's see what I can do. "
00:15:30.58\00:15:33.97
I was a rebellious child, so
I pushed my limits a little bit,
00:15:34.47\00:15:37.87
but Genevieve wasn't
having it, that's my mother,
00:15:37.99\00:15:41.30
and what I did was that
I invited some friends over
00:15:41.33\00:15:44.11
and I told my sister: "You
just stay in the back room"
00:15:44.15\00:15:46.90
"and I'm going to
have my friends over and"
00:15:46.93\00:15:48.27
"we're just going to have a
little party and get together"
00:15:48.31\00:15:50.49
"and we're just going to
hang out. " And my mother
00:15:50.52\00:15:52.95
specifically told me: "Do
NOT have anybody in the house"
00:15:52.99\00:15:57.09
"while I'm away. ",
my mother and father.
00:15:57.12\00:15:59.19
And I said: "Ok, I
won't". And I thought I'd gotten
00:15:59.49\00:16:02.85
away with it. Well, I
didn't know that Mrs. Clementine
00:16:02.89\00:16:06.22
who lives across the
street [everybody laughs],
00:16:06.25\00:16:09.09
and she was peeping
out the window, she saw
00:16:11.89\00:16:15.48
every car that drove up,
the time it drove up and she saw
00:16:15.52\00:16:21.14
the time it left, and
she saw the time the lights
00:16:21.17\00:16:24.17
went out in my house. So
when my mother got back home,
00:16:24.21\00:16:27.05
she was like: "Oh, how
did you all do?". I was like:
00:16:27.09\00:16:30.10
"Oh, we did fine mom, my
sister was good, we did great,"
00:16:30.13\00:16:32.83
"we hung out here at the house",
which we did, we hung out
00:16:32.86\00:16:35.53
at the house, I didn't
tell her who we hung out with;
00:16:35.56\00:16:38.06
and so she goes:
"Erm, what did you all do?".
00:16:38.09\00:16:40.88
I said: "We hung
out at the house. "
00:16:41.90\00:16:43.14
She said: "No! What did
you all do?" And when she said:
00:16:43.18\00:16:45.68
"No! What did you all do?"
and she gave me those eyes,
00:16:45.71\00:16:48.18
you all know how your
parents give you the eyes
00:16:48.21\00:16:50.15
[unanimous agreement], I was
like: "Oh my Lord, help me. "
00:16:50.19\00:16:53.02
"She knows! She
knows!" And so she said:
00:16:53.05\00:16:56.87
"You know I know, don't you.
" I said: "What do you know?"
00:16:56.91\00:16:59.20
And when she's said that, I
didn't even let her tell me,
00:16:59.23\00:17:01.49
I said: "I'm sorry, I
had everybody at the house. "
00:17:01.52\00:17:03.21
"I had this, this, this person."
I just rattled off everybody
00:17:03.25\00:17:06.44
I had at the house. And she
was like: "I told you I did not"
00:17:06.48\00:17:09.41
"want you to have anybody in
this house. You disobeyed me,"
00:17:09.44\00:17:12.34
"and you will be punished. "That
was the most severe punishment.
00:17:12.59\00:17:15.90
I was an athlete. I loved
to play ball, I loved to go
00:17:15.93\00:17:18.17
on weekends and I was
shut down for 2 months.
00:17:18.20\00:17:22.55
2 months! Confined to a house.
00:17:23.99\00:17:26.74
That's when I realized I
didn't want to go to jail.
00:17:26.78\00:17:28.82
So I said I am never ever going
to disobey my parents again.
00:17:28.86\00:17:33.27
It's true when it says: "Surely
your sins will find you out. "
00:17:34.05\00:17:36.88
It may not be immediately,
but God has instilled in us
00:17:38.16\00:17:41.84
His principles and
our parents will instill
00:17:41.87\00:17:44.33
those in us as well.
And if we don't obey Him,
00:17:44.37\00:17:46.80
it could be
hazardous to your health.
00:17:46.83\00:17:48.69
It comes back all the time.
You see a whole bunch of people
00:17:48.73\00:17:52.02
and you always say:
"You always got to obey"
00:17:52.05\00:17:54.35
"your parents or it'll
always come back on you. "
00:17:54.38\00:17:56.65
Well back in New Orleans,
everyday I saw a whole bunch
00:17:58.00\00:18:00.62
of people on the street, a
whole bunch of homeless people.
00:18:00.65\00:18:03.24
They'd be like: "If I had
just listened to my parents. "
00:18:03.28\00:18:05.84
"I wish I just did this. " And
I'm like: "Well, I'm just going"
00:18:06.49\00:18:09.05
"to grow up not
saying: I wish I did this,"
00:18:09.08\00:18:11.17
"I wish I'd done that.
I'm just going to do it now"
00:18:11.21\00:18:13.52
"so I can tell my
kids: don't wish, do!"
00:18:13.82\00:18:15.93
And it's all about decisions,
every decision you make
00:18:15.97\00:18:20.03
is critical to your life path.
If you make a good decision,
00:18:20.07\00:18:24.01
or a bad decision.
Something is going to spark
00:18:24.56\00:18:26.75
something in your life.
Nicolette, I have a question:
00:18:26.79\00:18:29.46
do your parents still talk to
you about making good decisions?
00:18:30.70\00:18:34.60
Are you at the age now,
where they've already said it
00:18:34.63\00:18:38.22
enough and you're on your
own? They tell me sometimes,
00:18:38.25\00:18:41.77
they tell me: "You should do
this, but I don't have to tell"
00:18:41.81\00:18:44.73
"you every time to do
something. " So I have
00:18:44.76\00:18:47.32
to take it upon myself to
do something, but sometimes
00:18:47.36\00:18:49.80
they may have to tell me
to do it. So as a parent,
00:18:49.84\00:18:52.25
I tell my kids every day to
listen to the things that I've
00:18:52.71\00:18:57.08
taught you in the past and
to focus on the things that
00:18:57.11\00:19:01.65
I've taught you. Now, should
I tell my kids to follow me
00:19:01.69\00:19:06.16
as I've told them, or should
I just let them go on and try to
00:19:06.20\00:19:10.11
remember some of the
things they were taught earlier.
00:19:10.14\00:19:14.29
Well, in my opinion, you
should be able to remind them
00:19:14.33\00:19:17.70
sometimes, but not that
often because they should know
00:19:17.73\00:19:21.03
what they should do or should
not do. - So I'm over parenting,
00:19:21.07\00:19:24.29
that's what you're telling
me? - No, I'm saying that
00:19:24.32\00:19:27.96
you should not remind them
as much as you're supposed to
00:19:27.99\00:19:31.60
but just remind them a
little so they'll know that
00:19:31.63\00:19:35.09
they need to do
this and not to do that.
00:19:35.39\00:19:37.38
That makes sense, you
kind of let them see and make
00:19:37.42\00:19:40.30
the decision on their
own. Yeah, because I have a lot
00:19:40.34\00:19:43.18
of friends who's
parents are so strict on them,
00:19:43.21\00:19:46.02
they can't do
anything. Like, 17 years old,
00:19:46.05\00:19:48.31
can't even go to the
movies. They are the friends
00:19:48.35\00:19:52.30
that I have now, that once
their parents are letting them
00:19:52.34\00:19:54.84
do stuff and didn't tell them
anything like: "Ok, you can't"
00:19:54.88\00:19:57.37
"do this at all!" and then the
next when they're finally free,
00:19:57.40\00:19:59.86
they'll be like: "Ok,
well you can go out. "
00:19:59.98\00:20:01.60
So when they get out and
they see things that they've
00:20:01.64\00:20:03.38
never seen before, they're
just going to go and just
00:20:03.41\00:20:05.95
do everything. Yeah,
they go all [?"butt wild"?].
00:20:05.99\00:20:08.50
You tell them, not drill it,
but tell them so they'll know.
00:20:09.14\00:20:13.76
You tell them it's so
serious, but then you dwindle
00:20:13.79\00:20:16.74
down a little bit. Keep
telling them, because you were
00:20:16.77\00:20:19.15
at a point when you were
drilling it, and then you're
00:20:19.18\00:20:21.76
kind of going less and
less, you're letting them do it
00:20:21.80\00:20:24.35
on their own; kind
of many it feel like:
00:20:24.38\00:20:26.06
"Well daddy, told me
this many times today,"
00:20:26.10\00:20:27.71
"maybe he's letting
me... " kind of making it look
00:20:27.75\00:20:29.90
like you're letting
them do it on their own.
00:20:29.93\00:20:31.95
Well I think that
sometimes what young people,
00:20:31.99\00:20:33.98
especially teens, need to
understand is that your parents
00:20:34.36\00:20:36.47
love you so much and
by telling you so often,
00:20:36.50\00:20:39.31
maybe they do overdo it,
but by telling you so often
00:20:39.35\00:20:42.32
they just really don't want
you to make the mistakes that,
00:20:42.36\00:20:44.47
perhaps, they made. So,
Calvin do you think that
00:20:44.50\00:20:47.15
there should be a
certain balance, or are you OK
00:20:47.18\00:20:49.33
with being reminded of
some of the things that
00:20:49.36\00:20:52.01
you shouldn't do. I'm
perfectly fine with it.
00:20:52.04\00:20:54.72
I mean, I really
wouldn't want to be drilled,
00:20:54.76\00:20:57.20
because I know if I
get told too many times,
00:20:57.23\00:20:59.60
it's like a switch in your mind,
it's like: "If they tell me"
00:20:59.64\00:21:02.61
"too many time, maybe
I might want to do it".
00:21:02.64\00:21:05.64
I don't know, it's just not
too much and not too little,
00:21:06.10\00:21:10.21
you know? Just
keep good balance of it.
00:21:10.24\00:21:12.69
So Andressa, have you ever had
an experience where you think
00:21:12.73\00:21:15.43
a parent, not particularly your
parents, but really over did it
00:21:16.35\00:21:19.50
and tried to shelter their
children, and just make sure
00:21:19.65\00:21:22.89
they don't make any
mistakes in their lives?
00:21:22.92\00:21:27.28
I have seen that in
parenting with family members
00:21:27.70\00:21:31.54
who grow up extremely
sheltered and I just really
00:21:33.11\00:21:36.13
have to pray for
them because, you know,
00:21:36.16\00:21:38.69
when someone is
brought up that way,
00:21:38.72\00:21:41.22
it's only cause for destruction.
00:21:41.25\00:21:43.67
Later on in life
they're just going to rebel,
00:21:43.84\00:21:46.36
but I love my parents and
my mother, and the way she
00:21:46.77\00:21:52.06
raised her 5 children,
I think was outstanding.
00:21:52.09\00:21:55.23
I don't blame her for
anything she did, my parents,
00:21:55.94\00:21:59.87
my father, the way we would
be punished. I agree with it.
00:21:59.91\00:22:04.42
You would raise your
children the way your
00:22:04.45\00:22:05.71
parents raised you? Yes I would.
00:22:05.74\00:22:06.87
Can I get just a few
experiences of what you would
00:22:06.91\00:22:10.09
call sheltered,
because sometimes sheltered
00:22:10.12\00:22:13.91
could be a good thing. So,
anybody can briefly tell me
00:22:13.95\00:22:17.86
a few things? Go ahead Jonathan;
00:22:17.89\00:22:20.31
well don't you get me in trouble
young man. [everybody laughs]
00:22:20.35\00:22:23.55
What is sheltered?
00:22:23.58\00:22:24.55
Well my idea of sheltered, is
parents just pushing their kids,
00:22:24.56\00:22:29.11
being really strict,
00:22:30.15\00:22:32.82
keeping them away from life
00:22:33.02\00:22:34.85
and eventually they're
going to be in the world,
00:22:34.89\00:22:37.56
and the world is cool. When
they get into the world they'll
00:22:37.60\00:22:43.14
start jumping everywhere,
like when they get to college,
00:22:43.17\00:22:48.68
and their parents won't
be there to help them out.
00:22:48.79\00:22:50.91
All they want to
do is try everything.
00:22:52.85\00:22:55.11
So, I like this
Jonathan. So I'm going to keep
00:22:55.15\00:22:58.37
this whole little show
here because I think you're
00:22:58.41\00:23:01.56
on to something, you're going
to just really be the perfect
00:23:01.60\00:23:03.99
child for us, aren't you?
00:23:04.02\00:23:06.02
That's some good advice, I like
that. Some of the other ones,
00:23:06.76\00:23:08.50
what do you see as
sheltered for a teenager?
00:23:08.53\00:23:12.19
Well, overbearing
parents, your parents are always
00:23:12.63\00:23:15.47
up asking you questions,
repetitively telling you stuff
00:23:15.51\00:23:20.02
over and over again and
you know. Because parents,
00:23:20.05\00:23:23.09
they should let you
figure things out by yourself.
00:23:23.13\00:23:26.14
And, you know, they
can just figure things out
00:23:27.46\00:23:31.73
because one day your
parents aren't going to be there
00:23:31.77\00:23:34.22
to keep on drilling you to be
doing stuff, and they have to be
00:23:34.26\00:23:37.67
able to prepare and
think for themselves.
00:23:37.70\00:23:40.11
We talked previously
about the people that influence
00:23:43.83\00:23:47.89
you in your life, and
they are what kind of people?
00:23:48.60\00:23:51.39
What age group of
people? They're about my age.
00:23:51.42\00:23:54.18
But I'm talking about the people
in Mississippi that we were
00:23:54.74\00:23:57.82
talking about earlier,
the older people, the elderly.
00:23:57.85\00:24:00.77
What do you learn
from these older people?
00:24:01.66\00:24:03.30
You say you like to be around
them, they're in your life,
00:24:03.34\00:24:06.76
so tell us a little bit about
them. - I love my grandparents
00:24:06.80\00:24:10.19
and their friends,
and they like me like
00:24:10.22\00:24:12.29
their own granddaughter,
and I help them and they teach
00:24:13.23\00:24:16.84
me things, and they
talk to me about their life.
00:24:16.87\00:24:19.69
I like learning about
things that happened way back
00:24:19.90\00:24:21.87
in the past when they were
growing up, it's interesting.
00:24:21.91\00:24:24.72
Well you can get a lot
of wisdom from older people.
00:24:24.75\00:24:27.08
I'm still
learning from older people.
00:24:27.11\00:24:28.77
And Narissa has older
parents. - Very older parents.
00:24:28.81\00:24:32.77
I didn't mean it
like that. Right, right,
00:24:32.95\00:24:35.68
very experienced
and wise. Right. Amen.
00:24:35.72\00:24:38.42
Yeah, and I'm blessed to have
parents that are older of age,
00:24:38.45\00:24:41.69
that can teach me things. Like
she said, I like to know things
00:24:41.99\00:24:46.60
that happened in the
past, especially like racism
00:24:46.63\00:24:48.83
and how we've come,
well, you know it still exists,
00:24:48.93\00:24:51.54
but how we've come so
far and I don't have to live
00:24:51.80\00:24:55.23
in a world where I have to
drink from this water fountain,
00:24:55.27\00:24:57.35
have to go to there... you know.
00:24:57.38\00:24:58.55
And they remember a lot
of the things that went on
00:25:00.45\00:25:02.56
in The Depression. You
learn so much from older people.
00:25:02.60\00:25:05.52
Well, Reggie one story
his father always tell us is
00:25:05.56\00:25:08.45
that they were so
poor back in the older days
00:25:08.48\00:25:12.01
during The Depression that they
didn't have anything to eat.
00:25:12.63\00:25:15.58
And God would send a miracle:
after the rain would fall down,
00:25:15.84\00:25:19.93
he says, "and the rain
would go away and there would"
00:25:20.34\00:25:22.87
"be fish in the yard, just
flapping around in the yard,"
00:25:22.91\00:25:25.41
and they would go get the fish
and that would be their meal.
00:25:25.48\00:25:27.66
And it would happen
when the did not have a meal.
00:25:27.69\00:25:30.20
And so, it's just
those those experiences.
00:25:30.33\00:25:32.06
He used to tell us all
this stuff and I've learned
00:25:32.10\00:25:34.78
and it has increased my
faith just to know that God
00:25:35.27\00:25:37.48
took care of them
during those times so,
00:25:37.51\00:25:39.36
when we're obedient and
we do, and listen to the
00:25:39.40\00:25:41.79
experiences of our parents,
it just helps strengthen us
00:25:41.83\00:25:44.23
and I think we need to do
it more. And you know what I
00:25:44.27\00:25:46.64
think listening to
what everyone's saying,
00:25:46.67\00:25:48.87
sometimes you can
listen to your parents,
00:25:49.06\00:25:50.95
and as teenagers you think your
parents don't know everything,
00:25:50.99\00:25:54.95
but you could actually
learn things from older people,
00:25:54.98\00:25:57.94
isn't that amazing? My
mum says there's nothing new
00:25:57.98\00:26:00.87
under the sun. That's true.
Just a different way of doing it
00:26:00.91\00:26:03.69
sometimes, that's all. Hearing
the stories from old people
00:26:03.72\00:26:06.47
and they're amazed, because
growing up with their mom
00:26:06.50\00:26:09.72
and with their dad, how it
was different: "You've got to be
00:26:09.76\00:26:12.72
"home before the street
lights come on. " And I'm like:
00:26:12.75\00:26:15.68
"You've never told me
that. " And she was like:
00:26:16.45\00:26:17.70
"[?] got to be home
before the street lights. "
00:26:17.73\00:26:18.91
I was like: "Mom, be for real,
do I really have to come home?"
00:26:18.95\00:26:21.95
It's like new now, you
never see that happening now.
00:26:21.98\00:26:24.34
So do you all get tired,
because drill our kids when
00:26:24.37\00:26:26.38
they get home from
school: "What happened today?"
00:26:26.41\00:26:28.35
That's right, "How was your
day today? So, what did you do?"
00:26:28.39\00:26:30.85
I think that's
awesome, because it's showing
00:26:30.88\00:26:32.93
that you care. A lot of
kids don't have parents, they
00:26:32.97\00:26:35.83
come home and they're tired,
they don't feel like talking,
00:26:35.87\00:26:38.46
and you're just
kids, kids just want to [?]
00:26:38.49\00:26:40.93
that's why it's
great when parents
00:26:40.96\00:26:43.35
talk to their kids because
they're going to grow up,
00:26:43.39\00:26:45.69
like, if you're going to
shelter your kids, tell them,
00:26:45.72\00:26:47.86
let them know, because once
you let them out they're not
00:26:47.90\00:26:50.01
going to know anything
and they're going to get
00:26:50.04\00:26:51.99
from their peers what
they're doing, and the peers
00:26:52.03\00:26:53.91
that they meet might be
doing the things that we talked
00:26:53.95\00:26:55.68
about today: drinking, and
smoking, and they'd be like:
00:26:55.71\00:26:57.41
"Well they didn't
tell me nothing about it"
00:26:57.44\00:26:58.45
"so it might be cool. "
So we need open communication
00:26:58.49\00:27:00.92
with our family. Right. I
think it's good that parents
00:27:00.96\00:27:07.66
ask their kids: "What
did you do at school today?"
00:27:08.01\00:27:10.60
Because I tell my mom,
me and my mom are very close
00:27:11.47\00:27:13.96
and I tell her a lot of things,
and she's one of my best friends
00:27:14.00\00:27:17.60
on a certain level, I
can honestly say that.
00:27:17.63\00:27:20.77
Because some people, their
parents are just so in the dark
00:27:21.62\00:27:24.40
about what they are
doing, and you know,
00:27:24.43\00:27:26.77
if something were to
happen they would be missing,
00:27:26.81\00:27:28.93
you know, about their friends
and things like that they
00:27:29.19\00:27:31.18
wouldn't be able to tell
the police anything about
00:27:31.21\00:27:34.28
their friends because
they don't know. That's right.
00:27:34.31\00:27:37.35
Well Jonathan I don't have
enough time to get back to you,
00:27:37.60\00:27:39.66
can you believe that
our time is up already?
00:27:39.69\00:27:41.72
So, I think it was a great
conversation, I think we did
00:27:41.76\00:27:44.71
a great job of discussing
and getting the point across
00:27:44.74\00:27:47.52
to some of our viewers of
what we need to do to be more
00:27:47.56\00:27:50.54
obedient to our parents.
So we'd like to thank you all
00:27:50.57\00:27:53.52
for joining us and
hopefully you'll join us again
00:27:53.55\00:27:56.46
for our next
gathering here on Teen Pathways.
00:27:56.49\00:27:59.37
Thank you.
00:27:59.40\00:28:02.19