Hi! Welcome to Teen Pathways. I'm Reggie Dupard, 00:00:19.96\00:00:23.56 and today we have another very interesting topic, 00:00:23.59\00:00:26.69 I believe. 00:00:26.72\00:00:27.79 Today we are going to deal with, hopefully by God's grace, 00:00:27.82\00:00:30.82 we are going to discuss, the issues of 00:00:30.85\00:00:33.34 being a part of the world, 00:00:33.37\00:00:35.60 and how part of the world being in this world 00:00:35.63\00:00:38.57 we are I guess led to dress and to feel insecure 00:00:38.60\00:00:43.21 about who we are and what we should be focused on 00:00:43.24\00:00:46.30 is what Jesus wants us to be, and to be thankful, 00:00:46.33\00:00:49.26 for how God has made us. 00:00:49.29\00:00:51.16 We have some interesting individuals here 00:00:51.19\00:00:54.37 some young people who are going to give us their perspective, 00:00:54.40\00:00:57.13 and they are going to share how God 00:00:57.16\00:00:59.35 had led them to be the kind of individuals that 00:00:59.38\00:01:02.29 God wants us to be today in this world, 00:01:02.32\00:01:04.74 'cause we are not of the world, 00:01:04.77\00:01:06.41 but we have to live in this world and not succumbing 00:01:06.44\00:01:08.88 to the pressures of the world. 00:01:08.91\00:01:10.27 But before we began I just like everyone to introduce 00:01:10.30\00:01:12.71 themselves, and I would like to begin with my left, James! 00:01:12.74\00:01:15.59 Hello, my name is James Black I am from Dallas, Texas 00:01:15.62\00:01:17.85 and one of my goals in life is to help others to see God 00:01:17.88\00:01:20.07 be saved myself. 00:01:20.10\00:01:21.23 Amen. 00:01:21.26\00:01:22.23 Hi, I am LaChanda Dupard I am the help meet of brother Dupard, 00:01:22.24\00:01:25.91 and I am here because I want to win souls for the Lord, 00:01:25.94\00:01:29.65 and just being with the young people. 00:01:29.68\00:01:32.47 Hi, I'm Ashley Rachie, I attend Dallas Academy, 00:01:32.50\00:01:35.28 and I'm from Dallas, Texas. 00:01:35.31\00:01:37.03 Hi my name is Claudette Prieto, 00:01:37.06\00:01:39.01 and I go to South Western Adventist University, 00:01:39.04\00:01:41.46 and I am a Theology major and I like to work with youth. 00:01:41.49\00:01:45.05 Hello, my name is Rachel Black, I live in Dallas, Texas 00:01:45.08\00:01:48.39 my goals in life are to go to heaven and see God. 00:01:48.42\00:01:51.70 Hi, my name is Esther Alonso, 00:01:51.73\00:01:53.60 and I'm from Riverside California, 00:01:53.63\00:01:56.12 my goal is to work with youth, and wake us all up. 00:01:56.15\00:02:00.74 And again I'm Reggie Dupard, I believe it's an interesting 00:02:00.77\00:02:03.97 topic and we've been very prayerful an discussing 00:02:04.00\00:02:07.73 this topic, because as I attended school, 00:02:07.76\00:02:11.52 I am a psychology major, and even in the church, 00:02:11.55\00:02:15.66 we find that sometimes we want to conform with the things 00:02:15.69\00:02:19.51 of the world. When you look at magazines, 00:02:19.54\00:02:22.56 the world tells us that a female needs to be a certain size, 00:02:22.59\00:02:26.33 and if she is not, she is not accepted. 00:02:26.36\00:02:28.62 Our hair color needs to be a certain way, our hair style 00:02:28.65\00:02:31.94 and all these things, I believe, it is a side track, 00:02:31.97\00:02:34.94 the bottom line, issue is: Who are you in Jesus Christ? 00:02:34.97\00:02:38.99 I don't believe everyone suppose to be 5 foot 10, and 100 pounds. 00:02:39.02\00:02:43.56 or something like that, that was just an exaggeration. 00:02:43.59\00:02:46.36 Actually it is not exaggeration at all, 00:02:46.39\00:02:48.35 regardless if you have a subscription to any type of 00:02:48.38\00:02:52.11 cosmopolitan magazines, or whatever, 00:02:52.14\00:02:54.43 you still see the billboards everywhere, and they portray 00:02:54.46\00:02:57.61 women, tall and slim, with this certain type of hair style, 00:02:57.64\00:03:04.43 and they have this image of how we're suppose to look, 00:03:04.82\00:03:09.64 - By the way I just want to cut you off, 00:03:09.67\00:03:11.94 my wife is expressing herself today, 00:03:11.97\00:03:13.94 Amen! 00:03:13.97\00:03:14.94 She has a new hairstyle today 00:03:14.95\00:03:16.13 I do have a new hair style, because I am happy, 00:03:17.49\00:03:20.27 it's actually not a new hairstyle, 00:03:20.30\00:03:22.70 it's probably a new hairstyle for the 3ABN viewers, 00:03:22.73\00:03:25.69 but in my everyday life, this is who I am, 00:03:25.72\00:03:28.44 Amen! 00:03:28.47\00:03:29.44 and I guess this is one of the reasons why we chose, 00:03:29.45\00:03:31.54 to talk last night while we were sitting around, 00:03:31.57\00:03:34.16 and we were saying: If you are not happy with who you are, 00:03:34.19\00:03:37.44 than how in the world are you going to ever be able 00:03:37.47\00:03:41.22 to do anything, how are you going to be able to go to class, 00:03:41.25\00:03:44.77 and to be confident with who you are, and God wants us 00:03:44.80\00:03:47.10 to have confidence, and I am not talking about a self confidence, 00:03:47.13\00:03:50.13 where you feel proud and boastful, 00:03:50.16\00:03:53.13 I mean God talks about virtuous woman, 00:03:53.16\00:03:55.13 and I believe that a virtuous woman is one who is confident 00:03:55.16\00:03:58.15 with who she is. Who believes that the way God made us is OK. 00:03:58.18\00:04:03.19 God made me with extra curly hair, OK, that's fine 00:04:03.22\00:04:06.16 I'm happy with that, I accept that. 00:04:06.19\00:04:08.61 Unless we come to a point where we don't want 00:04:08.64\00:04:11.36 to just go out there and looking like the world. 00:04:11.39\00:04:13.63 I could be messed up, and I have people that I know, 00:04:13.66\00:04:16.25 even in my life, it is just so much... 00:04:16.28\00:04:19.19 every time they turn some magazine, and look at 00:04:19.22\00:04:21.56 that billboard they want to be like that individual. 00:04:21.59\00:04:23.93 I had an interesting experience, I was in school, 00:04:23.96\00:04:27.27 of course I told you before I am a psychology major, 00:04:27.30\00:04:29.62 they did a program on anorexia and bulimia, 00:04:29.65\00:04:36.91 they had these young girls that were getting victory over 00:04:37.15\00:04:40.65 the problem. They weren't Christians, 00:04:40.68\00:04:42.36 but they went to counseling, they were having problems, 00:04:42.39\00:04:44.72 as a man and being new to that experience, 00:04:44.75\00:04:49.55 I found it hard to believe, but one girl, 00:04:49.60\00:04:51.32 she said she became anorexic because, 00:04:51.35\00:04:53.41 before she left to college her boyfriend told her: 00:04:53.44\00:04:56.05 Don't go to college, and come back fat, 00:04:56.08\00:04:58.70 because that's what happens to most freshmen 00:04:58.73\00:05:00.64 when they attend college. 00:05:00.67\00:05:01.64 That's true! 00:05:01.67\00:05:02.85 That had an effect on her life. 00:05:02.88\00:05:05.22 Now, if we love God, and we have a relationship with God, 00:05:05.25\00:05:11.51 - we should put God where God wants us to be, that's how 00:05:11.54\00:05:15.28 it would be in a perfect world - 00:05:15.31\00:05:17.72 As human beings, when people tell us something, 00:05:17.75\00:05:21.35 we want them to say nice things, and I believe that has an effect 00:05:21.38\00:05:24.48 on young girls, and young boys, but particularly we are dealing 00:05:24.51\00:05:27.22 with the girls. 00:05:27.25\00:05:28.93 Particularly, we deal with young people on a real large scale, 00:05:29.36\00:05:34.22 that is one of the main things that young people 00:05:34.25\00:05:38.03 are dealing with. Anorexic and Bulimia, 00:05:38.06\00:05:40.39 so many I've met since the Lord has brought us 00:05:40.42\00:05:43.71 into this message, that actually saying: 00:05:43.74\00:05:46.05 I have a problem! I don't want to eat, 00:05:46.08\00:05:48.04 because I don't want to get fat, I don't want to gain weight, 00:05:48.07\00:05:50.71 I don't want to look like this, I don't want to look like that. 00:05:50.74\00:05:53.34 You are saying the reason, that they are looking at the 00:05:53.37\00:05:56.55 magazines and at the billboard, that's just one of the reasons, 00:05:56.58\00:06:00.51 One of the few reasons like he mentioned, 00:06:00.54\00:06:02.31 like this girl's boyfriend that did not want her 00:06:02.34\00:06:04.33 to gain weight, I think the first thing we need to do is 00:06:04.36\00:06:07.60 realize that Christ accepts us just the way we are, 00:06:07.63\00:06:10.54 Amen. 00:06:10.57\00:06:11.54 He made us special, that is what is happening to a lot of us, 00:06:11.73\00:06:16.24 we are forgetting that, and we want to be accepted by the world 00:06:16.27\00:06:19.75 but we forget that God has already accepted us. 00:06:19.78\00:06:22.68 Many-many years ago when Christ died on the cross He said: 00:06:22.71\00:06:26.50 I love you just the way you are, I think it is very important. 00:06:26.53\00:06:30.44 I have a lot of friends and even family, who are going through 00:06:30.47\00:06:33.95 Anorexia, and they are going through this mentality, 00:06:33.98\00:06:37.27 that is just like: I've got to look like the CK models, 00:06:37.30\00:06:41.34 I've got to be really thin, that is not the point. 00:06:41.37\00:06:45.55 Well, maybe you want to be thin because you want to be healthier 00:06:45.58\00:06:48.29 or because you want to be accepted like the whole world 00:06:48.32\00:06:51.83 thinks that you "look" good. 00:06:51.86\00:06:53.72 Amen. That's a good point! 00:06:53.75\00:06:55.23 A lot of those models are not happy, think about if you watch 00:06:55.26\00:06:59.49 some of the specials that they have on TV, 00:06:59.52\00:07:02.48 A lot of those women, and some guys aren't even happy with 00:07:02.51\00:07:05.24 who they are and whatever, I mean if you take away the wig, 00:07:05.27\00:07:08.57 and take away the contact, no seriously though, 00:07:08.60\00:07:11.55 That's right! I agree! 00:07:11.58\00:07:14.06 the grey hair, wrinkles, you know what I mean? 00:07:14.64\00:07:17.89 It's not real! 00:07:17.92\00:07:19.31 I think you're not happy because you're always struggling with it 00:07:19.34\00:07:23.22 it's a battle inside of you, you are going against what your 00:07:23.25\00:07:26.96 body wants, and your body needs and you are always trying to... 00:07:26.99\00:07:30.84 I need to loose weight, or whatever is it, look like this, 00:07:30.87\00:07:35.11 you are totally out of focus, and that affects 00:07:35.14\00:07:37.52 your relationship with Christ. 00:07:37.55\00:07:39.59 Amen! 00:07:39.62\00:07:41.45 I really believe what you are saying, at the same time 00:07:41.49\00:07:44.81 I believe that God wants us to be healthy, 00:07:44.84\00:07:47.32 we need to get our exercise, you may have people 00:07:47.35\00:07:49.94 that they are vegetarians, they don't eat any meat, 00:07:49.97\00:07:52.75 but they don't get any exercise, so we need to balance our lives, 00:07:52.78\00:07:56.58 and our relationship with God. 00:07:56.61\00:07:58.16 Not everybody is going to be 110 Ibs. 00:07:58.19\00:08:01.46 You can do all you can, exercise and then do what you can, 00:08:01.49\00:08:05.37 and the rest is up to God, because He made us. 00:08:05.40\00:08:07.77 He made us, He did not make us all to be a 110 Lbs, 00:08:07.80\00:08:11.04 and my mother, she... take her for example. 00:08:11.07\00:08:13.48 She is a big boned woman, she was not made to be 110 Lbs, 00:08:13.51\00:08:16.83 she was made to actually literary to be a big woman. 00:08:16.86\00:08:19.37 If we accept ourselves the way God made us, 00:08:19.40\00:08:21.91 and not try to enhance our bodies, 00:08:21.94\00:08:24.14 or make it changed in some way, that other people will except us 00:08:24.17\00:08:28.51 and know that we are acceptable in God's sight because He really 00:08:28.54\00:08:31.47 is the only one that matters, other than our spouses... 00:08:31.50\00:08:34.02 on occasion you can't go too far to an extreme with that either, 00:08:34.05\00:08:37.92 because if you are constantly trying to satisfy and please 00:08:37.95\00:08:40.46 other people, than you are not happy with that. 00:08:40.49\00:08:42.75 You have to be happy with who you are, 00:08:42.78\00:08:44.72 once you are happy with who you are, than God is with you, 00:08:44.75\00:08:47.91 and you have that personal relationship, 00:08:47.94\00:08:49.96 the sky is the limit. 00:08:49.99\00:08:51.51 Amen! 00:08:51.54\00:08:52.51 The sky is the limit, you can go wherever you want. 00:08:52.52\00:08:54.60 You had a remark you wanted to make? 00:08:54.63\00:08:56.94 Well I have a remark to the anorexia part. 00:08:56.97\00:09:00.89 When you're anorexic, your body changes, 00:09:00.92\00:09:05.23 when you aren't eating, you condition yourself to not eating 00:09:05.53\00:09:10.14 so when you try to eat again than that turns to fat 00:09:10.17\00:09:15.40 on your body it wouldn't matter. What's the purpose 00:09:15.43\00:09:23.07 of being anorexic, when you try to eat again, 00:09:23.32\00:09:27.20 you will get bigger than you were in the first place! 00:09:27.23\00:09:29.82 I found out that this thing is a very psychological thing. 00:09:29.85\00:09:33.33 Some of the people well they even realize, 00:09:33.36\00:09:38.64 that in that way it is difficult in that state of mind, 00:09:38.90\00:09:43.86 it is just difficult, I believe, only through Christ, 00:09:43.89\00:09:47.53 the Bible says, we can do all things through Christ, 00:09:47.56\00:09:50.77 if anyone that's out there that has experienced that, 00:09:50.80\00:09:54.35 the first thing you need to do, is go to Jesus. 00:09:54.38\00:09:56.85 And when you go to Him and you will put the individual 00:09:56.88\00:09:59.63 in your life, and He will lead you, how to get to a proper 00:09:59.66\00:10:02.54 treatment, because it is not a healthy lifestyle. 00:10:02.57\00:10:05.37 This is an illness, that people are dealing and suffering with. 00:10:05.40\00:10:09.16 Once you admit that and understand it, 00:10:09.19\00:10:11.94 than you can go for help with the problem. 00:10:11.97\00:10:14.39 I think that the point of this discussion is: 00:10:14.42\00:10:17.28 Just be happy with who you are! 00:10:17.31\00:10:19.49 We discussed with Chanda, she is very pleased with who she is... 00:10:19.52\00:10:23.16 I have a very confident wife, 00:10:23.19\00:10:26.55 You know: I like who I am, I like this hair that God gave me. 00:10:26.65\00:10:31.79 I keep talking about the hair thing, because 00:10:31.82\00:10:34.75 the world says that we look so much better with strait hair. 00:10:34.78\00:10:38.42 In our culture, a lot of women in our culture, 00:10:38.45\00:10:41.57 I am not speaking for everybody, but many women in our culture, 00:10:41.60\00:10:45.69 who want to straighten their hair, or ant hair. 00:10:45.72\00:10:49.55 so that their hair would look straight, but I am saying, 00:10:49.58\00:10:53.23 we can be happy with who we are, let's just accept ourselves, 00:10:53.26\00:10:57.13 the way God made us, we can work with that. 00:10:57.16\00:10:59.96 I'm like this if the world tells me that I have to be this way, 00:10:59.99\00:11:03.74 I am going the opposite way, you are not the one to tell me 00:11:03.77\00:11:07.08 how I'm suppose to look. 00:11:07.11\00:11:08.56 There's lots of people out there who don't feel that way. 00:11:08.59\00:11:11.10 I think she is just keeping natural, 00:11:11.13\00:11:13.53 as far as I think, that makeup, and everything, 00:11:13.56\00:11:20.79 because me, myself, I love the natural girl. 00:11:20.89\00:11:23.95 And that is how God made us, 00:11:23.98\00:11:27.10 and this is Biblical 00:11:27.13\00:11:29.51 - it should be plain - let's put it like this: 00:11:29.61\00:11:32.80 if a guy is looking for a helpmeet, or someone to marry, 00:11:32.83\00:11:37.79 he's not going to look for the most glamorous girl in school. 00:11:37.82\00:11:42.17 He's gonna look for a girl with a long skirt, the girl who is 00:11:42.20\00:11:44.66 just plain and respectful, that's what he's looking for, 00:11:44.69\00:11:47.10 right? 00:11:47.13\00:11:48.11 That's what they look for to marry, 00:11:48.15\00:11:49.83 but guys also want to date the other ones. 00:11:49.86\00:11:52.99 Well that's why I wish not to marry them! 00:11:53.02\00:11:54.94 That's why they have different reason, 00:11:54.97\00:11:56.67 If you carry yourself in in a modest way, 00:11:56.70\00:12:02.51 than the guys will respect you a different way. 00:12:02.54\00:12:07.00 And they don't see you like the other type. 00:12:07.03\00:12:11.55 I understand the way James and Rachel are saying, 00:12:11.58\00:12:16.10 I like my wife just the way God made her. 00:12:16.13\00:12:20.64 She don't have to wear any makeup, 00:12:20.67\00:12:22.63 but she needs to comb her hair, brush her teeth, 00:12:22.66\00:12:25.73 and all those things, but I like her the way God made her, 00:12:25.76\00:12:29.22 I don't need her skirt to be climbing up I like it long 00:12:29.25\00:12:32.54 enough, because everything is between her, me and the Lord. 00:12:32.57\00:12:38.29 But sometimes young ladies think 00:12:38.34\00:12:41.42 that they have to look a certain way, 00:12:41.45\00:12:43.51 but God wants, the guys and myself, 00:12:43.54\00:12:46.66 I couldn't love my wife until she became a spiritual woman. 00:12:46.69\00:12:50.67 When she became a Christian woman, and I saw Jesus in her, 00:12:50.70\00:12:54.07 then I was able to fall in love with her 00:12:54.10\00:12:59.04 because, when she has Jesus, I have to respect God. 00:12:59.09\00:13:02.41 I'm not going to disrespect Christ, while Christ is in her! 00:13:02.44\00:13:05.99 No matter how worldly I was when we met Amen? 00:13:06.02\00:13:08.94 Amen! Amen! 00:13:08.97\00:13:10.99 ...but that's what drew me! 00:13:11.04\00:13:13.08 Jesus drew me! 00:13:13.11\00:13:14.54 There are all kinds of different women out there in the world, 00:13:14.57\00:13:17.50 I think that girls, or young ladies need to keep in mind, 00:13:17.53\00:13:20.57 that they need to be Christian women, first. 00:13:20.60\00:13:23.73 I understand I've not been always been this way. 00:13:23.76\00:13:26.59 I've gone through all that, insecurity and all that, 00:13:26.62\00:13:29.80 It wasn't until I had a personal relationship with the Lord. 00:13:29.83\00:13:33.70 Actually having that foundation set with the Lord, 00:13:33.73\00:13:37.02 that I was able to express myself, 00:13:37.05\00:13:39.84 to accept the way my Lord made me, and accept me, 00:13:39.87\00:13:42.76 the way God made me, and in Isaiah 3:16, it speaks 00:13:42.79\00:13:45.64 specifically of that it says "Moreover the Lord" Isaiah 3:16 00:13:45.67\00:13:49.75 Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, 00:13:49.80\00:13:52.73 and walk with stretched forth neck, 00:13:52.76\00:13:54.50 and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, 00:13:54.53\00:13:57.25 and tinkling with their feet " this is describing 00:13:57.28\00:14:00.13 a woman who is trying to draw attention to herself. 00:14:00.16\00:14:02.73 What kind of woman is that? 00:14:02.76\00:14:04.36 She is almost like a harlot, she's trying to get attention, 00:14:04.39\00:14:07.96 so she can have all these type of men, 00:14:07.99\00:14:10.69 that she wants. She walks with wanton eyes and everything. 00:14:10.72\00:14:13.24 - ... but they cannot have Jesus and be very glamorous, 00:14:13.27\00:14:16.47 dress like this, and... Who are you trying to show off? 00:14:16.50\00:14:19.98 Well we have some women in the church as well... 00:14:20.01\00:14:22.35 Oh... Brother James, you went deep! 00:14:22.38\00:14:25.77 It is very true, where they stand and seek now, 00:14:25.80\00:14:28.90 I can't judge now, but I do see that. 00:14:28.93\00:14:32.62 I've been there, done that, and I know what you are saying. 00:14:32.65\00:14:35.73 That's a symptom... 00:14:35.76\00:14:38.48 It says who you are, Exactly! 00:14:38.53\00:14:40.34 And this a symptom of insecurity when you dress, 00:14:40.37\00:14:42.74 and you wear certain things, just to look like the world, 00:14:42.77\00:14:46.48 That's a symptom of the problem, that is really not the problem! 00:14:46.51\00:14:49.50 It shows that you don't have that personal relationship, 00:14:49.53\00:14:52.12 that you should! 00:14:52.15\00:14:53.46 I'll get you all's opinion, 00:14:53.49\00:14:56.00 As a father I have little babies, 00:14:56.03\00:14:58.06 and I don't have the pressures of my daughter, 00:14:58.09\00:15:00.10 wanting to do that, 00:15:00.13\00:15:01.15 to dress a certain way, but 00:15:01.18\00:15:02.66 I can't help but think that, 00:15:02.69\00:15:04.87 if you are the man of the house, 00:15:04.90\00:15:07.40 and you are led by God, and God is leading you, 00:15:07.43\00:15:11.10 I believe that it is the fathers responsibility, 00:15:11.13\00:15:14.08 there's a home with two parents, 00:15:14.11\00:15:16.78 and the big brothers, and the big brothers responsibility, 00:15:16.81\00:15:19.72 Oh yeah, the big brothers' to a extent. That's right! 00:15:19.75\00:15:22.38 As long as he is following God, Amen? Amen! 00:15:22.41\00:15:25.31 You have your sister Rachel and you tell her how to dress, 00:15:25.34\00:15:29.21 Well... I won't tell her how to dress, 00:15:29.24\00:15:31.95 I don't like to tell her how to dress, 00:15:31.98\00:15:34.13 I just make sure when my sister goes out, that she looks decent, 00:15:34.16\00:15:37.67 because I know how 00:15:37.70\00:15:38.91 I might look at another woman, right? 00:15:38.94\00:15:41.19 or a girl, that's what I meant! 00:15:41.22\00:15:43.25 That's right! 00:15:43.28\00:15:44.75 When I walk out and I see a lady that is dressed 00:15:44.78\00:15:46.91 that her skirt is high, 00:15:46.94\00:15:49.22 sleeves have, you know, cleavage on it? 00:15:49.25\00:15:51.52 That's not good! That's not modest! 00:15:51.55\00:15:54.30 That's not Christian, so when my sister goes out she can look, 00:15:54.33\00:15:57.92 I don't want to say "sexy" or anything like that, 00:15:57.95\00:16:00.36 because that is not the right word, but more like nice! 00:16:00.39\00:16:03.09 Just nice! She looks nice... 00:16:03.12\00:16:04.81 Like she looks now, very nice! 00:16:04.84\00:16:06.37 Ok! So let's go back to the telling part! 00:16:06.40\00:16:10.15 When you tell a person something, 00:16:10.18\00:16:12.67 you demand something, they don't respect you. 00:16:12.70\00:16:15.03 That's a good point! They look at it: 00:16:15.06\00:16:17.23 Well he tells me this, but I do what I want! 00:16:17.26\00:16:19.50 No seriously, that's the way I feel! 00:16:19.53\00:16:22.14 But if you come and say: 00:16:22.17\00:16:23.59 Rachel that doesn't look right, I don't think you look modest! 00:16:23.62\00:16:26.83 Than I would respect, and wouldn't go behind your back, 00:16:26.86\00:16:29.71 and do something else! 00:16:29.74\00:16:30.97 That's how I am! 00:16:31.00\00:16:32.91 So even as a father you shouldn't talk to your 00:16:32.96\00:16:36.16 children like: 00:16:36.19\00:16:37.80 Can I use Ashley as the example? 00:16:37.84\00:16:39.81 Ashley, I don't like what you are wearing, go take it off now! 00:16:39.84\00:16:42.25 You have to tell in love, you have to show, what God says! 00:16:42.28\00:16:46.08 Take them to the WORD! 00:16:46.13\00:16:47.58 That's what convicts us of what we are, 00:16:47.61\00:16:49.78 because when your parents are not around, 00:16:49.81\00:16:51.37 what are you going to do if you are not convicted? 00:16:51.40\00:16:53.88 I would like to add to that conviction part. 00:16:53.91\00:16:56.23 I didn't always grow up in the church, 00:16:56.26\00:16:58.82 I wore different things, like: 00:16:58.85\00:17:01.56 adornments, and people were telling me: 00:17:01.59\00:17:05.35 No, you are not to wear those things! 00:17:05.38\00:17:07.52 I never really paid attention to them, 00:17:07.55\00:17:10.53 and I slowly was able letting go of a lot of things, 00:17:10.56\00:17:14.10 on my own, because I felt convicted of it! 00:17:14.13\00:17:16.75 Because I fell in love with Him, my Savior, 00:17:16.78\00:17:19.93 and once you love somebody, you start 00:17:19.96\00:17:22.70 leaving those things because you want to please Him! 00:17:22.73\00:17:25.28 I imagine that it is the same thing, with marriage! 00:17:25.31\00:17:28.55 You are doing things for each other, because 00:17:28.58\00:17:31.61 you love each other, and that's the way it is with God, 00:17:31.64\00:17:34.61 I love Him, and if He wants me to be modest, 00:17:34.64\00:17:40.92 and I'm sure if He says that it is for some reason! 00:17:40.97\00:17:44.20 A modest woman keeps herself out of a lot of trouble. 00:17:44.23\00:17:48.00 That's right, and that is the whole line of the virtuous woman 00:17:48.03\00:17:50.43 and all that boils down to: 00:17:50.46\00:17:52.14 If you keep yourself founded, rooted in the Word of God, 00:17:52.17\00:17:55.07 You can't go wrong! 00:17:55.10\00:17:56.49 There were some thing's that Reggie and I didn't agree on, 00:17:56.52\00:17:59.71 he has told me in love, and I accepted that and said: 00:17:59.74\00:18:02.60 OK, honey I understand that you would not like this, 00:18:02.63\00:18:05.73 it could be a color of something that I'm wearing! 00:18:05.76\00:18:07.69 The point is how you talk to somebody! 00:18:07.72\00:18:10.16 Especially in a relationship, you have to be extra careful, 00:18:10.19\00:18:13.12 because the person can easily rebel, they feel like 00:18:13.15\00:18:15.69 somebody is trying to tell them what to do. 00:18:15.72\00:18:17.51 Reggie's voiced many things to me, 00:18:17.54\00:18:19.76 and being a humble, submissive wife... 00:18:19.79\00:18:22.10 But we are still working on that, by God's grace! 00:18:22.15\00:18:24.90 But, lets see what God has to say: 00:18:24.93\00:18:29.41 It says in 1 Corinthians 2:14. 00:18:29.44\00:18:34.11 "But the natural man receiveth not the things, 00:18:34.16\00:18:36.76 of the Spirit of God: 00:18:36.79\00:18:39.17 for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, 00:18:39.59\00:18:42.82 because they are spiritually discerned. " 00:18:42.85\00:18:44.76 So when we have a certain dress, 00:18:44.79\00:18:46.36 God will show us, 00:18:46.39\00:18:47.90 if we are spiritual, He would tell us what we need to know. 00:18:47.93\00:18:50.61 but in 15 of chapter 2, 00:18:50.64\00:18:53.78 "But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, 00:18:53.83\00:18:56.98 yet he himself is judged of no man. " 00:18:57.01\00:18:59.45 It doesn't matter what a man or a woman says, 00:18:59.48\00:19:01.59 "For who hath known the mind of the Lord, 00:19:01.62\00:19:04.10 that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Jesus Christ. " 00:19:04.13\00:19:08.14 At some point, young people, 00:19:08.17\00:19:09.50 when your parents are not around, 00:19:09.53\00:19:11.08 you need to be convicted by God! 00:19:11.11\00:19:12.82 And your parents are not gonna always be there. 00:19:12.85\00:19:15.99 And even in my life, 00:19:16.02\00:19:18.24 I need to have a relationship with God, 00:19:18.27\00:19:20.73 that's the only way that we can be submissive wives. 00:19:20.76\00:19:25.46 Husbands that don't do things that we're not supposed to do, 00:19:25.49\00:19:29.31 faithful husbands, Amen? Is because Jesus Christ, 00:19:29.34\00:19:31.76 in His power gives us strength, 00:19:31.79\00:19:33.70 to overcome, you can't watch a husband 24 hours, 00:19:33.73\00:19:37.65 you can't watch your child 24 hours, 00:19:37.68\00:19:39.13 you have to pray for them. 00:19:39.17\00:19:41.05 And back to the dress issue, we are not picking on the women, 00:19:41.08\00:19:45.74 but what about us fellows! 00:19:45.77\00:19:47.90 All right! Good! 00:19:47.93\00:19:48.95 Some guys... their pants are hanging half way... 00:19:48.98\00:19:51.81 That's the new way of the world. 00:19:51.84\00:19:53.81 Thank you James, we don't have a lot of time to discuss this, 00:19:53.84\00:19:58.38 but you young guys, my wife knows this, 00:19:58.41\00:20:01.43 I hate it when I see young men, pants so big, 00:20:01.46\00:20:05.16 no belt, it's falling off of them... 00:20:05.19\00:20:07.12 That Sag look! 00:20:07.15\00:20:08.26 But do you know where it started from? 00:20:08.29\00:20:11.17 That started from the jails, 00:20:11.20\00:20:14.01 they didn't have belts, so... 00:20:14.04\00:20:16.54 it sagged, and society picked up on it, 00:20:16.57\00:20:20.08 and it started from there. And they think it look's good. 00:20:20.11\00:20:22.75 If you are trying to tell them something, 00:20:22.78\00:20:24.62 they won't listen! 00:20:24.65\00:20:26.27 Because they think it's cool! 00:20:26.30\00:20:28.98 And you know people wear different ear rings and jewelry. 00:20:29.01\00:20:32.91 I always ask myself: 00:20:32.94\00:20:35.43 If I am going to do something, why am I doing it. 00:20:35.48\00:20:37.88 If you are going to wear ear ring, 00:20:37.91\00:20:39.61 if you are going to wear your pants baggy, 00:20:39.64\00:20:41.84 why are you doing it, because Bob down the street does it? 00:20:41.87\00:20:45.37 Or you are doing it because God wants you to do it. 00:20:45.40\00:20:47.93 Influence has a lot to do with it! 00:20:47.96\00:20:50.09 Peer pressure, exactly, because my friends, 00:20:50.12\00:20:53.05 my buddies are doing it, and I want to do it. 00:20:53.08\00:20:55.42 They don't want to be a leader, they want to follow. 00:20:55.45\00:20:58.36 But James, you are a young male, 00:20:58.39\00:21:00.74 and of course the young guys are wearing their pants like that. 00:21:00.77\00:21:04.15 Could you please tell me why they do that? 00:21:04.18\00:21:06.53 I don't know why they are doing that! 00:21:06.56\00:21:09.29 They are probably doing it because they like it, 00:21:09.32\00:21:11.30 or because this is the style, or I don't know! 00:21:11.33\00:21:15.22 I don't like if my pants are hanging off of my torso 00:21:15.25\00:21:20.60 I don't dress like that, 00:21:20.63\00:21:21.93 just a little baggy, or what ever you call it... 00:21:21.96\00:21:25.32 my belt is at my waist, my belt is tight. 00:21:25.35\00:21:27.77 I look decent, I look nice! 00:21:27.80\00:21:29.83 I think I know why you are not doing that... 00:21:29.86\00:21:32.42 I know your father wouldn't allow that! 00:21:32.45\00:21:34.62 And because I choose not to... 00:21:34.65\00:21:36.96 Because when my father is not with me, 00:21:36.99\00:21:39.48 I'm on my own! 00:21:39.51\00:21:40.73 That's true! They trained you well! 00:21:40.76\00:21:42.68 That's right brother Dupard, his got a good point! 00:21:42.71\00:21:45.33 There's a verse in Proverbs 22:6 00:21:45.36\00:21:48.24 "Train up a child in the way he should go: 00:21:48.27\00:21:50.48 and when he is old, he will not depart from it!" 00:21:50.51\00:21:54.28 And even if a child do stray a little bit, 00:21:54.31\00:21:56.84 I've found that they always come back to Jesus, 00:21:56.87\00:21:59.86 you have to lay down the principles in the house. 00:21:59.89\00:22:02.43 We don't have a lot of time. 00:22:02.46\00:22:04.15 We need to do what God is asking us to do. 00:22:04.18\00:22:06.28 Unfortunately if we would live in a "perfect world", 00:22:06.31\00:22:11.14 if we'd live in a perfect world, 00:22:11.17\00:22:13.15 it wouldn't be like this. 00:22:13.18\00:22:14.40 People judge the way you look! 00:22:14.43\00:22:16.23 When you are dressed like that, and you are looking for a job, 00:22:16.26\00:22:19.29 or you are trying to take care of a business, 00:22:19.32\00:22:21.62 people automatically look at you and say: 00:22:21.65\00:22:23.71 that's right they stereotype you, in a certain profile. 00:22:23.74\00:22:27.62 Especially for African Americans. 00:22:27.65\00:22:29.92 in some situations like: 00:22:29.95\00:22:31.58 James was just sharing a experience, 00:22:31.61\00:22:33.39 that happened to him, when he walked into the store, 00:22:33.42\00:22:35.92 won't say the name of the store, but 00:22:35.95\00:22:37.77 the store you walked into, would you share that? 00:22:37.80\00:22:40.12 I walked into the store to get a job, try to work, 00:22:40.15\00:22:42.56 get some money in my pocket. 00:22:42.59\00:22:44.33 I was dressed decent. 00:22:44.36\00:22:46.32 Soon as I walked into the store: 00:22:46.35\00:22:47.95 "All cameras on, cameras on, 00:22:47.98\00:22:50.70 security, security!" 00:22:50.73\00:22:52.97 And now it was like, OK... 00:22:53.02\00:22:55.47 I'm coming here to get a job, 00:22:55.50\00:22:56.96 as soon as I walk in, you guys are calling the security, 00:22:56.99\00:22:59.63 talking about the camera's on, now my whole attitude is changed 00:22:59.66\00:23:02.75 I'm upset now... 00:23:02.78\00:23:04.58 That's how it is... 00:23:04.61\00:23:06.08 It can discourage you. 00:23:06.11\00:23:07.65 I think we need to pray, because a lot of us, and 00:23:07.68\00:23:10.92 this is stereotype, and that's just the way of the world. 00:23:10.95\00:23:15.14 Don't let them get you down, 00:23:15.17\00:23:17.11 That's when God comes in! Keep moving! 00:23:17.14\00:23:19.42 And that's when you need a personal relationship with God. 00:23:19.45\00:23:22.12 God will give us the strength to overcome any trial, 00:23:22.15\00:23:24.77 and tribulation that we are going to live in these days. 00:23:24.80\00:23:27.63 I just want to add, on behalf of... 00:23:27.66\00:23:30.72 I would like to include myself and those of us, 00:23:30.75\00:23:34.70 where times are, 00:23:34.73\00:23:36.99 fearful of how we look and will try to do things, 00:23:37.04\00:23:41.35 I still believe that the Holy Spirit can work on anyone, 00:23:41.38\00:23:44.40 and through anyone, and I believe that, 00:23:44.43\00:23:46.66 taking that approach, 00:23:46.69\00:23:48.52 We can include youth in our church, without 00:23:48.55\00:23:52.99 pushing them away and making they feel like: 00:23:53.02\00:23:54.98 You are not dressed properly to come to our worship. 00:23:55.01\00:23:59.72 I would like to say that, 00:23:59.75\00:24:01.08 We might not see it in us, but God sees our potential. 00:24:01.11\00:24:04.61 And in our own time, He is going to work in us, 00:24:04.64\00:24:08.38 to make the changes that we need, that is where we need 00:24:08.41\00:24:11.90 to encourage each other. 00:24:11.93\00:24:13.54 Youth through compliments 00:24:13.57\00:24:16.38 let them know what their potentials are, 00:24:16.43\00:24:18.57 God will take care of those little details. 00:24:18.60\00:24:20.93 Amen! 00:24:20.96\00:24:21.93 That's just what happened to me, 00:24:21.98\00:24:26.09 I didn't care what the people said, 00:24:26.14\00:24:27.96 I wasn't going to do it because they said that, 00:24:27.99\00:24:30.05 But I was welcome in the church family, 00:24:30.08\00:24:33.45 they welcomed me just the way I was, and God worked 00:24:33.48\00:24:35.91 in His own timing. 00:24:35.94\00:24:37.52 and going back through all those things, 00:24:37.55\00:24:40.15 we need to remember that God accepted us, just how we are. 00:24:40.18\00:24:43.73 He will work with our insecurities, 00:24:43.76\00:24:46.31 with whatever that needs to be changed, 00:24:46.34\00:24:48.38 He will always do that. 00:24:48.41\00:24:49.95 It is important for us to have that relationship with Him. 00:24:49.98\00:24:52.38 so we allow Him to do that. 00:24:52.41\00:24:53.86 Esther, everything is clear what you are saying 00:24:53.89\00:24:56.87 as Esther and Claudette said it, 00:24:56.90\00:24:59.60 if you see a young person, maybe they've got gold teeth in the 00:24:59.63\00:25:05.38 mouth or their pants are hanging off of them, 00:25:05.41\00:25:07.57 the spirit we go to them is very important... 00:25:07.60\00:25:10.37 I had it happen to me, it's hard to hurt my feelings 00:25:10.40\00:25:14.83 but I've had people say and hurt my feelings: 00:25:14.86\00:25:18.09 your child should not wear that thing... or whatever, 00:25:18.12\00:25:21.20 or she should cover her arms, things like that... 00:25:21.23\00:25:23.77 And they mean well... 00:25:23.80\00:25:25.01 But I believe that it's the spirit, that James need to go 00:25:25.04\00:25:27.74 to her sister and tell her that she shouldn't wear that outfit. 00:25:27.77\00:25:30.85 And I think that's what draws people when they see Jesus, 00:25:30.88\00:25:34.21 Jesus always met people where they are, 00:25:34.24\00:25:36.78 He was truthful now, but He told them with love! 00:25:36.81\00:25:39.74 In my experience, I wore all that when I was even with, 00:25:39.77\00:25:44.31 when I began to be witnessed to in the Adventist church, 00:25:44.34\00:25:46.65 I was Jezebel! 00:25:46.68\00:25:47.94 There is nothing about it I was up there, 00:25:47.97\00:25:51.12 When I went to those people, 00:25:51.15\00:25:53.02 they only showed me Jesus Christ, 00:25:53.05\00:25:55.96 they never once told me, you can't wear this, or that 00:25:55.99\00:25:58.58 you can't wear that red lipstick, take off your 00:25:58.61\00:26:01.03 ear ring's can't wear them going to church, and it was because, 00:26:01.06\00:26:03.61 of them showing me Christ, 00:26:03.64\00:26:05.22 and the Holy Spirit began to take off those thing's. 00:26:05.25\00:26:07.41 I wasn't focusing on taking these things off first, 00:26:07.44\00:26:10.67 before I went to Jesus. 00:26:10.70\00:26:12.00 If you go to Jesus He cleanses you off... 00:26:12.03\00:26:14.61 He does all the washing! We are not doing the washing. 00:26:14.64\00:26:18.44 We leave all that to Jesus Christ. 00:26:18.47\00:26:20.33 That's the beauty of the word of God! 00:26:20.36\00:26:22.82 The Bible teaches us, 00:26:22.85\00:26:24.89 once we had that light, 00:26:24.92\00:26:26.17 It says to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth not 00:26:26.20\00:26:28.50 to him is sin. Once we find out the truth, 00:26:28.54\00:26:31.49 and we continue to walk in it, 00:26:31.54\00:26:34.32 I think there the danger comes in, at the same time 00:26:34.35\00:26:36.69 I think what we all are trying to say that, 00:26:36.72\00:26:39.78 we know that young people are going through insecurities, 00:26:39.81\00:26:43.84 some challenges, 00:26:43.87\00:26:45.46 if we have a church that can come together with love, 00:26:45.49\00:26:49.91 we'll be able to bring them in, in the right perspective, 00:26:49.94\00:26:53.36 and give them Jesus! 00:26:53.39\00:26:55.61 I believe that is what we need to do, Amen? 00:26:55.67\00:26:59.57 Because it is only the potential that He sees in us, 00:26:59.60\00:27:02.74 that is going to get us through every stage, 00:27:02.77\00:27:07.05 that we go through. That's what's awesome! 00:27:07.08\00:27:08.96 Praise God! Aunt LaChanda turned her life around we've got 00:27:09.00\00:27:12.31 a lot more work to do. Amen! 00:27:12.34\00:27:14.89 Thanks Rachel, thank you... 00:27:14.92\00:27:17.44 We all have things in our lives that we are trying to... 00:27:17.47\00:27:22.25 Ask God to... 00:27:22.28\00:27:23.67 I guess, let God cleanse our lives and by God's grace, 00:27:23.70\00:27:26.42 we continue to strive in Christ and continue to do His will. 00:27:26.45\00:27:30.84 We may fall short 00:27:30.87\00:27:32.41 but we can rely on that Jesus died on the cross, 00:27:32.44\00:27:36.18 that we may have life, because of His death, 00:27:36.21\00:27:40.01 it doesn't matter what you do, young people and older people, 00:27:40.04\00:27:43.15 if you trust in God, 00:27:43.18\00:27:44.27 He will never leave you, nor forsake you! 00:27:44.30\00:27:46.28 Thank you for joining us! 00:27:46.31\00:27:49.08 Captioning by: Christian Media Services www. chms. ro 00:27:56.98\00:28:03.63