The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome to the New Journey,
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a program where
you'll meet real life people,
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with real life testimonies,
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doing real life
ministry for Jesus Christ.
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I'm your host Aaron Chancy.
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Come join us on The New Journey.
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Welcome back to The New Journey.
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On today's broadcast we
have with us Mr. Donald Owen.
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Mr. Owen, we like to thank you
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for being on
the broadcast today.
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I'm honored, it's privilege.
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All right, all right.
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Just for some
general information,
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could you tell us
where you're from,
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where you're born and raised?
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I originally born and
raised in Lapeer, Michigan.
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Okay.
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And few years ago, I
tell you about 16 years ago,
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moved down to Indiana.
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And now reside
in Benton, Illinois.
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Okay. Okay.
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What was your early
home life like growing up?
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I might say, we were...
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My mother was tried to
raise up the best she could.
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She took us to Baptist churches.
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My father, kind of,
he fell away from church
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at a younger
age, in his early 20s.
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So he really didn't
have much to come to church,
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he didn't come.
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But my mom, she would take
us to the Baptist churches,
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different
churches we bounce around.
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She was actually raised Catholic
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but since she married
from outside her faith,
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they excommunicated her
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and so then she
had become Baptist.
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Wow. Okay.
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You eventually got into
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drinking and
smoking a little bit.
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At what age did you
get involved in that
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as well as what motivated that
to lead to drinking as well?
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I think it was
more of a social thing.
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I was always an
introvert as a kid.
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So I had a hard time
connecting with people.
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I think alcohol
tends to obviously kind of,
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in a sense numb you
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where you can be
more socially interactive
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and you can talk to
people you feel more open.
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So I started probably
about the age of 19, 20,
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it happened more college years.
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Okay. Okay.
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You eventually, though you
got addicted to pornography,
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what led you to get
involved in pornography
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or be addicted to it?
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Well, I think it's
about the age of 14 or 15,
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my brother decided to
go down to a local store,
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he shoved a few pornography
magazines on his pants,
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came back to our house,
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we had this little
shed in the backyard.
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We're about five of us,
and our neighborhood boys
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and of course he
takes out the magazine
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and here we go, he opens up
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and, you know,
the rest is history.
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Pornography
started about that point.
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Okay, well, so you're about
14 years old when it started?
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Fourteen, fifteen
somewhere at that time, yeah.
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Okay, now talk about
how pornography at that age
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had such a strong
pull upon your life?
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Well, I saw the
road I was going down,
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realizing how addictive
it was for me personally.
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Like I said my neighbor,
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there's a young
lady as my neighbor
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and I peeked in
the windows at times.
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We're talking about the idea of,
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I broke into the home
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and took some
things from her drawer
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and that really let
me down on wrong path,
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I knew pornography had
a really good hold on me
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and also lead me
into adult chats,
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talking to women.
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Well, I think of
women and adult chats
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and just in progress
and getting into the movies,
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watching the movies and toys
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and different things
of that nature, so...
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How did you see this addiction
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take over your
life in its totality?
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I think it really
just kind of destroyed
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my idea of what love truly is.
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Okay.
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I really had a...
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I kind of a low, I guess esteem,
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and also it caused me to
see women in a different way.
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Yeah, it was kind of
degrading, very degrading to me,
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I mean, I go to strip
clubs and watch women dance.
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I mean, it
really, just the idea that
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you know,
degrading, demoralizing,
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just not really having a full
concept of what really love is
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and you get
distorted view on what love is.
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Have you found over
a period of your life
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while you were involved in
or attracted to pornography,
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that this is an addiction
that a lot of people have,
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not only males because you
hear males talk about it more
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so than females.
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Is this an
addiction that you find
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a lot of people suffer from
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but may be just
not telling anybody,
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may be because they are ashamed,
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what have you found?
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I would agree with you
and that a great question.
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Yeah, I believe that a
lot of people had hidden.
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It's easy to hide.
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I mean, you can
do it in your house
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and, you know,
internet even more
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and this is prevalent,
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what I mean,
it's a hidden thing,
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you know, we even like, we're
talking about the other day
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the idea of my wife and I
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were partaking of
this pornography together.
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You know, women too,
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I know that they also
partake of pornography,
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so it's pretty prevalent.
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Now you mention that
it's hidden a lot of times.
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Why do you think it's such,
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it's so hidden
as opposed to people
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just coming out and saying,
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"I'm addicted to pornography."
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Why is it such a hidden thing?
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And the reason I ask...
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Pornography was not
necessarily my thing
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that I was addicted to,
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mine was more drugs,
the street things like that,
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and I was pretty
open about what I did.
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I don't believe number one,
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in like fake it till
you make it type thing,
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and I didn't
believe in showing myself
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as one type of
person to some people
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and then to others
I'm this type of person.
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If I'm gonna be this,
I'm going to be, this a 100%.
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You're going to know about it
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and there's really
nothing you can do about it.
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There was nothing hidden for me.
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Why do you think it's
so hidden among people
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as opposed to
people just coming outside
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and, "Look, I'm
addicted to this,"
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instead of keeping it
like hush, hush or whatever?
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I think it boils down again
to the idea of self esteem.
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Really hits on it because
some people in my perspective,
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you know, for me
personally it was,
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I didn't felt like
I was very attractive
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I didn't feel like I could,
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you know, have women in my life
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so it was more easy for
me to do that to have this,
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you know, fake
fantasy in my house,
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in my room, you know.
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So it's really
easy to get to that.
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And I think a lot of
people have ashamed too,
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there's a shame involved
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and that they
don't want to be exposed
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for getting involved in
this type of pornography.
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And I think to again,
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it boils down to degradation of,
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not only women but men.
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Yeah, definitely.
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And God made
us, you know, to be,
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you know, respect our
bodies, respect who we are
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and here we are, you know,
watching this adult material
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that's just really I mean,
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it just destroys your concept...
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Oh, yeah, definitely.
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What love is. Definitely.
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How much of an
impact do you think
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your early years
of life had upon you,
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even before you said
you got the porn magazine
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during the 14 years old,
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but how much of an impact
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do you think
growing up in your household
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particularly had an
impact on later on in life
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dealing with pornography?
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I think dealing with my father,
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he really never had a
role father, role model.
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Actually my
grandfather used to run around
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with women all over and used to,
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you know, leave his wife behind.
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And so I think that
kind of stem from my dad
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and not having a good
role model in his life
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and not knowing how to,
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you know, be a
good role model for us.
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He did the best he
could what he knew,
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but both, him and my mom
both worked full time jobs,
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they're never home
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so we're kind of
left to do what we could
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whatever at the house
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and I think that kind
of, you know, like it says,
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you know, when David,
he stayed back for more,
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I don't mind, do
you know what I mean?
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I don't mind and...
Yeah, devil workshop.
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There you go.
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Yeah, and you can go
right down the wrong path.
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I think a lot of it too
back then we'd had a satellite,
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I think with the
invention of MTV just came out,
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you know, I remember Madonna
and one of the thing she wore
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and, you know, all
these things kind of...
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The media really
infiltrated my mind.
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It just kind of
hook, line, and sinker,
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I just brought into it.
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So you think media
had a big part to play?
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Mm-hmm. Okay.
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And I think that also because,
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you know,
various people I talk to,
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especially some
younger teenagers
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they'll say constantly,
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and I used to say the same thing
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that I didn't think that media
had such a powerful effect.
00:08:04.95\00:08:07.12
I mean, after all it
just "entertainment".
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You know, we tend to
say, "It's just entertainment.
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How harmful can it be?"
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And like you said MTV,
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I used to watch a program on BET
00:08:14.92\00:08:17.49
that used to come on
at 2, 3 in the morning.
00:08:17.53\00:08:19.19
It was called BET uncut
and it's where at this time
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and it was on for certain reason
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at 2 or 3'o clock in the morning
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because you would
see things no one hear
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that you wouldn't see
regularly during the day time.
00:08:28.47\00:08:31.41
And it had such a
powerful affect upon my life
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and as you stated you
look at love differently,
00:08:34.98\00:08:37.61
I looked at
relationships differently.
00:08:37.65\00:08:39.58
You know, you look at...
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You almost look at
women like they're less than,
00:08:40.98\00:08:44.05
you start to
treat them less than,
00:08:44.09\00:08:45.69
you know, because it's
amazing what people will do
00:08:45.72\00:08:48.69
for that mighty
dollar like people say.
00:08:48.72\00:08:50.53
You know, willing to
sell their own soul basically.
00:08:50.56\00:08:53.83
How much of an
impact on your life
00:08:53.86\00:08:55.93
or how much
finances do you think
00:08:55.96\00:08:58.60
that you've used in
the pornography industry?
00:08:58.63\00:09:01.24
And I see how you cut
me, so it must be a lot.
00:09:01.27\00:09:03.20
I didn't wanna...
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I don't know, I
never had it all up.
00:09:04.61\00:09:05.94
I know like just
going to the strip clubs
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and buying, you know,
the pornography material.
00:09:08.94\00:09:11.61
I didn't buy a
whole lot of magazines
00:09:11.65\00:09:12.98
but I mean I had some,
00:09:13.01\00:09:15.55
you know, my
wife and I would read
00:09:15.58\00:09:16.92
pornography material on weekends
00:09:16.95\00:09:18.52
and I used to watch the others.
00:09:18.55\00:09:20.42
So it was a quite a
bit I couldn't add up
00:09:20.46\00:09:22.12
on that total monetary
value but it's up there.
00:09:22.16\00:09:25.36
It was a lot, it was a lot.
00:09:25.39\00:09:26.83
And I'm sure it was
because I know even with,
00:09:26.86\00:09:29.60
if you calculate just
like a pack of cigarettes,
00:09:29.63\00:09:32.43
I used to smoke
about a pack a day.
00:09:32.47\00:09:34.14
And cigarettes
would... when I was buying them,
00:09:34.17\00:09:36.30
they were like $5
and some change a pack.
00:09:36.34\00:09:39.14
So you count that up.
00:09:39.17\00:09:40.68
And if I'm smoking a pack a day
00:09:40.71\00:09:42.48
you count that of seven
days and we got $35 right there,
00:09:42.51\00:09:46.28
over a course of a
month, over a course of a year.
00:09:46.31\00:09:48.85
So I know any type of addiction
you're going to need it,
00:09:48.88\00:09:51.95
it something that
00:09:51.99\00:09:53.32
it's like a beast
within you that has to be fed.
00:09:53.36\00:09:55.42
You know, and you
have to do something.
00:09:55.46\00:09:57.33
And so when you...
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What point brought
you to the realization
00:09:58.89\00:10:01.20
that you needed to break away
00:10:01.23\00:10:02.56
from that
stronghold in your life?
00:10:02.60\00:10:03.93
That's interesting you asked me.
00:10:03.97\00:10:05.30
I was going to just
add too also the time.
00:10:05.33\00:10:07.54
We're taking up our time,
00:10:07.57\00:10:08.90
we're using our time with things
00:10:08.94\00:10:10.27
that are negative influences
that are going in our life.
00:10:10.31\00:10:11.87
And that time is
you can't get that back.
00:10:11.91\00:10:13.81
Yeah. You can't get that
time. You can't, you can't.
00:10:13.84\00:10:15.64
But the breaking point for me
00:10:15.68\00:10:17.05
was when I was gonna
get married to my wife.
00:10:17.08\00:10:20.12
I was still
dabbling in internet chats,
00:10:20.15\00:10:23.15
actually got fired from a
job for internet chatting.
00:10:23.18\00:10:25.75
They realized
what I was doing there
00:10:25.79\00:10:27.12
and took cover of my tracks,
00:10:27.16\00:10:28.56
I actually tried to
delete some stuff in my computer
00:10:28.59\00:10:30.26
and destroyed the computer.
00:10:30.29\00:10:31.69
So I came back and
they're really like,
00:10:31.73\00:10:33.06
"Sorry, this isn't
working out, you're fired."
00:10:33.09\00:10:34.73
So I lost a job because of that.
00:10:34.76\00:10:36.67
Still continued in
my next job doing that
00:10:36.70\00:10:38.47
but when my wife and
I are really seriously
00:10:38.50\00:10:40.64
getting into the
topic of getting married,
00:10:40.67\00:10:43.17
I knew I had to change.
00:10:43.20\00:10:44.81
I know there's some
things I'm doing wrong.
00:10:44.84\00:10:47.01
For a person that's
struggling with porn addiction
00:10:47.04\00:10:49.41
just as you did,
00:10:49.44\00:10:51.21
what can a person do
to break away from that
00:10:51.25\00:10:54.68
or what realization do
they need to come to say,
00:10:54.72\00:10:58.49
"You know what,
enough is enough,
00:10:58.52\00:10:59.85
I need to break it."
00:10:59.89\00:11:01.22
Because in my life,
00:11:01.26\00:11:02.82
it's kind of like
I hit rock bottom.
00:11:02.86\00:11:04.43
We're not actually kind
of, I did, I hit rock bottom
00:11:04.46\00:11:07.40
to where there was
no looking to the right,
00:11:07.43\00:11:09.56
looking to the
left, looking behind me,
00:11:09.60\00:11:10.93
all I could do is look up.
00:11:10.97\00:11:12.30
But what does a
person need to do
00:11:12.33\00:11:14.57
with a porn addiction to
realize enough is enough?
00:11:14.60\00:11:17.74
What do you think?
00:11:17.77\00:11:19.37
I think personally for
me it was desiring something
00:11:19.41\00:11:23.04
greater, a greater
hope, a greater need.
00:11:23.08\00:11:25.81
And that came
through in February of 2008,
00:11:25.85\00:11:29.25
I actually had a dream
and the Lord spoke to me,
00:11:29.28\00:11:31.49
and I was
crying out, I was like,
00:11:31.52\00:11:32.85
"Lord, I can't quit this.
00:11:32.89\00:11:34.22
I keep get drawn into
it deeper and deeper."
00:11:34.26\00:11:36.56
And I realize that
every time I tried on my own,
00:11:36.59\00:11:39.23
I get further into it.
00:11:39.26\00:11:40.60
So then I call out
to the Lord, and I said,
00:11:40.63\00:11:41.96
"Lord, I need help," and
then in February of 2008,
00:11:42.00\00:11:44.53
I had a dream and
the Lord had told me
00:11:44.57\00:11:46.07
specifically in this dream,
00:11:46.10\00:11:47.64
I was in a bar with
some friends drinking
00:11:47.67\00:11:49.90
'cause we party
at that time too.
00:11:49.94\00:11:51.64
And this old man
walked in this bar,
00:11:51.67\00:11:53.58
double doors to this
bar, had long white beard,
00:11:53.61\00:11:56.48
long white hair, did
not fit the bar scene
00:11:56.51\00:11:58.88
and he walked in and he
locked eyes with me literally
00:11:58.91\00:12:01.22
and he said, "God is coming."
00:12:01.25\00:12:03.99
And I just
merely sharp on my bed,
00:12:04.02\00:12:06.02
I said something was
different about that dream.
00:12:06.05\00:12:08.66
And from that point on,
00:12:08.69\00:12:10.03
I knew that I had
to get myself right.
00:12:10.06\00:12:11.49
I knew there was a change
and I desired a new desire.
00:12:11.53\00:12:15.06
So I desired to
read the Bible actually
00:12:15.10\00:12:16.83
sort of shifting
while I was at work
00:12:16.87\00:12:18.80
instead of looking at porn
00:12:18.83\00:12:20.17
I was trying to
read Bible book now so.
00:12:20.20\00:12:23.07
Okay. Wow.
00:12:23.10\00:12:24.44
Now, your wife who
you're married to now,
00:12:24.47\00:12:26.27
she grew up
Seventh-day Adventist
00:12:26.31\00:12:28.38
but eventually kind of
left the church for a while
00:12:28.41\00:12:30.31
as a lot of us tend to do.
00:12:30.35\00:12:32.38
You did not grow up
Seventh-day Adventist.
00:12:32.41\00:12:34.45
Talk about how y'all
meet and how y'all met
00:12:34.48\00:12:36.62
and how both of y'all ended up
00:12:36.65\00:12:37.99
getting involved in pornography?
00:12:38.02\00:12:39.72
Do we have enough time?
00:12:39.75\00:12:41.19
Well, let's see
how much we have.
00:12:41.22\00:12:42.99
Oh, well, I met her at a bank,
00:12:43.02\00:12:45.53
I used to do Y2K inventory
00:12:45.56\00:12:47.50
when we had the whole Y2K scare.
00:12:47.53\00:12:49.66
Well, I went to a bank and
the guys I was working with
00:12:49.70\00:12:52.57
they said, they're
kind of tired of seeing
00:12:52.60\00:12:54.37
just older women
that worked at the banks
00:12:54.40\00:12:55.80
and so we went to
this particular bank
00:12:55.84\00:12:57.61
and she was young
and very attractive.
00:12:57.64\00:12:59.67
And the men came in
and they're sure enough
00:12:59.71\00:13:01.64
they're really shocked
and pleased but so we...
00:13:01.68\00:13:04.38
She end up asking
us to start a club,
00:13:04.41\00:13:06.28
one thing went to other
and we end up hooking up
00:13:06.31\00:13:07.75
and so I end up
moving in with her.
00:13:07.78\00:13:10.19
Okay.
00:13:10.22\00:13:11.55
My company did not
like that too much,
00:13:11.59\00:13:12.92
almost fired me
but I was just thankful
00:13:12.95\00:13:15.09
that the Lord
worked through that.
00:13:15.12\00:13:16.93
But what happen is,
00:13:16.96\00:13:18.29
I realized that she
was a Sabbath keeper
00:13:18.33\00:13:20.60
and the Lord had called me
00:13:20.63\00:13:22.13
and spoke to me and
then I started thinking
00:13:22.16\00:13:23.73
well, I know language
00:13:23.77\00:13:25.33
and language spoke to me sabado
00:13:25.37\00:13:26.74
and I thought well,
sabado is close to Sabbath
00:13:26.77\00:13:29.80
and I studied from that
perspective through language
00:13:29.84\00:13:31.74
and that's what
drew me into the truth
00:13:31.77\00:13:33.58
and knowing that
she's Seventh-day Adventist.
00:13:33.61\00:13:35.18
But the great thing about us,
00:13:35.21\00:13:36.91
we did a study
together called Steps to Christ.
00:13:36.95\00:13:38.85
Okay. Okay.
00:13:38.88\00:13:40.22
And that, you
know, really solidify
00:13:40.25\00:13:41.95
not only our
relationship with God
00:13:41.98\00:13:44.25
but also our relationship
together as a husband and wife.
00:13:44.29\00:13:46.39
Yeah, definitely, definitely.
00:13:46.42\00:13:47.76
So how did you two
after meeting, you know,
00:13:47.79\00:13:50.43
how did you two get
involved in porn together
00:13:50.46\00:13:52.79
because you're already in it.
00:13:52.83\00:13:54.36
Was your wife
already involved in it?
00:13:54.40\00:13:56.67
How do you both
y'all get into it together?
00:13:56.70\00:13:59.47
My wife and I, Janelle,
00:13:59.50\00:14:01.24
she kind of went
along with what I did,
00:14:01.27\00:14:04.04
as far as
pornography is concerned.
00:14:04.07\00:14:05.97
I think it was
more of a respect issue,
00:14:06.01\00:14:07.71
so she kind of
followed me in that.
00:14:07.74\00:14:09.21
Okay, Okay.
00:14:09.24\00:14:10.65
How much of a demonic pull,
00:14:10.68\00:14:13.52
strong demonic pull do
you see that pornography has?
00:14:13.55\00:14:17.09
Not just over your
life and your wife's life
00:14:17.12\00:14:19.25
but in general?
00:14:19.29\00:14:20.99
I see the whole
degradation of not only women
00:14:21.02\00:14:24.59
as it is concerns the whole,
00:14:24.63\00:14:26.03
you know, the strip
club and things like that
00:14:26.06\00:14:27.40
but I see it
even now on magazines,
00:14:27.43\00:14:29.03
on TV and radio like,
you know, the idea of rap
00:14:29.06\00:14:32.87
and the idea of
some of these music,
00:14:32.90\00:14:35.17
it's all over to
being infiltrate,
00:14:35.20\00:14:36.74
I mean, you don't
hear some of these
00:14:36.77\00:14:38.11
country tunes anymore.
00:14:38.14\00:14:39.47
I mean, you speak, oh,
like you know, it's just,
00:14:39.51\00:14:41.81
it's crazy and you go
into the grocery stores,
00:14:41.84\00:14:43.58
you look and
they've got magazines
00:14:43.61\00:14:46.01
with women have
popping all the things
00:14:46.05\00:14:47.58
at children's eye level,
00:14:47.62\00:14:49.02
I mean, starting at a young age
00:14:49.05\00:14:50.79
and you think about to now
the idea of some of the things
00:14:50.82\00:14:53.32
we get into as far as
00:14:53.36\00:14:55.36
kids are growing
up much quicker now.
00:14:55.39\00:14:56.73
Yeah, definitely.
Through the internet.
00:14:56.76\00:14:58.59
I mean, their eyes
are being able to see
00:14:58.63\00:15:00.50
so much more when I was a kid.
00:15:00.53\00:15:01.96
Yeah, definitely.
00:15:02.00\00:15:03.33
I know you remember
watching TV growing up
00:15:03.37\00:15:05.90
and just seeing how TV shows
were compared to TV shows now,
00:15:05.93\00:15:09.54
where back then,
let's say the 80s or so,
00:15:09.57\00:15:14.04
people seem to wear more clothes
00:15:14.08\00:15:15.91
but now a lot of
nudity is shown on TV.
00:15:15.94\00:15:18.85
I mean people are
almost wearing nothing.
00:15:18.88\00:15:21.28
Homosexuality
is prevalent on TV.
00:15:21.32\00:15:23.89
How much an impact do you think
00:15:23.92\00:15:25.49
what people are
watching, just regular?
00:15:25.52\00:15:27.76
May not even BET or
MTV but just TV in general,
00:15:27.79\00:15:30.86
how much of an
impact do you think
00:15:30.89\00:15:32.23
what people watch has
upon what they do in life?
00:15:32.26\00:15:35.26
I would say, the
vast majority of,
00:15:35.30\00:15:38.07
I mean that we're
so infiltrated by media
00:15:38.10\00:15:39.83
and everywhere,
it's even on billboards.
00:15:39.87\00:15:41.50
Yeah, definitely.
00:15:41.54\00:15:42.87
I mean, it's on billboards,
radio, it's just everywhere.
00:15:42.90\00:15:45.37
It's constantly being bombarded
in our minds, our faces,
00:15:45.41\00:15:48.64
our eyes, our ears, this is
by beholding we become changed.
00:15:48.68\00:15:50.85
Yeah, definitely.
00:15:50.88\00:15:52.21
And we keep seeing these things
00:15:52.25\00:15:53.58
and it's constant,
it's a constant reminder
00:15:53.62\00:15:55.32
just like you're
talking about the homosexuality,
00:15:55.35\00:15:57.29
the idea of a nudity all
over, It's just people...
00:15:57.32\00:16:02.09
even when you watch, you know,
the Emmy Awards, Grammy Awards
00:16:02.12\00:16:04.69
people are just, I
mean, it's all about self
00:16:04.73\00:16:06.66
and trying to glorify self
00:16:06.70\00:16:08.80
and getting more and
more down to bare nothing,
00:16:08.83\00:16:11.97
you know, to appeal
to people to get ratings
00:16:12.00\00:16:14.50
or whatever it is, I
mean, it's constant, so.
00:16:14.54\00:16:16.30
Definitely. Definitely.
00:16:16.34\00:16:17.67
You know the
Bible says in Revelation
00:16:17.71\00:16:19.47
that the devil knows
that he has but a short time.
00:16:19.51\00:16:21.64
That's right.
00:16:21.68\00:16:23.01
And I think that, you know,
00:16:23.04\00:16:25.28
what we see here
is a direct result
00:16:25.31\00:16:28.18
of him knowing that
he has a short time.
00:16:28.22\00:16:30.19
So he's doing all that he can
00:16:30.22\00:16:32.62
to draw people's
attention away from God.
00:16:32.65\00:16:35.49
How do you feel about that?
00:16:35.52\00:16:36.93
I would agree with that
totally, the idea that...
00:16:36.96\00:16:40.26
Satan knows his time is short,
00:16:40.30\00:16:41.96
and again it talks in the
Bible about the time of Noah,
00:16:42.00\00:16:44.07
you know, man's mind
is continuously wicked.
00:16:44.10\00:16:45.83
We see that
taking place right now
00:16:45.87\00:16:47.50
and realizing that all
these things, it's sin.
00:16:47.54\00:16:51.41
And we all are, you know,
00:16:51.44\00:16:52.77
it says we all fall short
of the glory but it is sin.
00:16:52.81\00:16:54.94
And Satan has such a
captive audience right now
00:16:54.98\00:16:58.08
through media...
00:16:58.11\00:16:59.61
I mean, it's
infiltrated so many people
00:16:59.65\00:17:01.55
and we don't realize how deep
it actually gets into the mind
00:17:01.58\00:17:04.92
and how its seeded in
there, seats itself, so.
00:17:04.95\00:17:07.66
What are some things
looking back on your life
00:17:07.69\00:17:10.09
that you getting
involved with pornography
00:17:10.13\00:17:13.26
and various other
things, drinking, smoking.
00:17:13.29\00:17:16.13
What are some
things that you regret
00:17:16.16\00:17:18.30
because I know for myself
00:17:18.33\00:17:20.04
where even though
I learned from them
00:17:20.07\00:17:21.90
and they make me into
the man that I am today.
00:17:21.94\00:17:23.91
There's a lot of
things that I do regret
00:17:23.94\00:17:26.01
which if I could
do things over again,
00:17:26.04\00:17:28.21
I would do things over.
00:17:28.24\00:17:30.11
I would have listened
just like for instance,
00:17:30.15\00:17:32.65
where I'm in school now
and I'm almost 32 years old
00:17:32.68\00:17:36.22
and I'm in school
with a lot of people
00:17:36.25\00:17:38.05
who are 18, 19, 20 years old
00:17:38.09\00:17:40.36
and I say to
myself a lot of times,
00:17:40.39\00:17:41.99
"Wow, if I would
have just listened,
00:17:42.02\00:17:43.86
I would have been where I
was supposed to be already now
00:17:43.89\00:17:46.70
versus in school where I could
have completed that years ago."
00:17:46.73\00:17:50.90
So how much of a regret
00:17:50.93\00:17:53.03
or what are some of the
things that you would change
00:17:53.07\00:17:55.37
from past to the present?
00:17:55.40\00:17:58.97
Oh, man, the
idea of trust. Okay.
00:17:59.01\00:18:02.68
Trust is huge
00:18:02.71\00:18:04.05
and with my wife and
I, actually at one point
00:18:04.08\00:18:06.31
I had conferred to
her what I was doing.
00:18:06.35\00:18:09.12
I told her I was
online chatting with...
00:18:09.15\00:18:10.59
I didn't go into total detail
00:18:10.62\00:18:12.02
but because I knew some
of the stuff was so deep,
00:18:12.05\00:18:14.96
I knew how much
it hurt her rather.
00:18:14.99\00:18:16.32
At one point she said,
00:18:16.36\00:18:17.69
basically I want nothing to
do with you, I want to leave.
00:18:17.73\00:18:19.26
And that's what I
would like to take back
00:18:19.29\00:18:20.73
as I totally, I mean, I can...
00:18:20.76\00:18:23.06
you destroy trust.
00:18:23.10\00:18:24.43
Yeah, definitely. And
another thing too is time.
00:18:24.47\00:18:26.43
I mean, I wasted so much time,
00:18:26.47\00:18:27.80
I realize now that when
God had called me out of this,
00:18:27.84\00:18:31.17
how much time I really
wasted spending with Him
00:18:31.21\00:18:32.94
and building
relationship with Him.
00:18:32.97\00:18:34.84
And now I'm so
thankful I have that,
00:18:34.88\00:18:36.51
but I wish I had that
even prior to all this...
00:18:36.54\00:18:38.58
Yeah, definitely. And
that's a huge thing for me.
00:18:38.61\00:18:40.62
And again, that I get
that trust and being faithful
00:18:40.65\00:18:43.89
and it's hard for a woman to
want to be faithful to a man,
00:18:43.92\00:18:47.02
if he's looking at some
other women in magazines,
00:18:47.06\00:18:49.19
like, "Oh she's beautiful,"
00:18:49.22\00:18:50.56
then the woman is
like, "Well, am I attractive?
00:18:50.59\00:18:52.83
I mean, do I..."
00:18:52.86\00:18:54.20
Yeah, it makes the
woman feel like she's less.
00:18:54.23\00:18:55.76
Yeah, exactly.
00:18:55.80\00:18:57.13
So it's like you
know, that trust is huge.
00:18:57.17\00:18:59.53
So the addiction
started at around 14 years old.
00:18:59.57\00:19:03.47
And about how long did
that addiction last for you?
00:19:03.51\00:19:07.14
About 2008. Okay.
00:19:07.18\00:19:09.88
That's when we got married.
00:19:09.91\00:19:11.25
And I had that dream,
ever since then it changed.
00:19:11.28\00:19:15.25
My life is so, you're
a new creature in Christ
00:19:15.28\00:19:16.95
and He changed me,
00:19:16.99\00:19:19.15
and I'm so thankful
that I had that you know,
00:19:19.19\00:19:21.29
Him waking me up, literally
waking me up to get out of this
00:19:21.32\00:19:25.19
because I mean, I was
clearly struggling with it
00:19:25.23\00:19:27.63
and it does help
to have support too.
00:19:27.66\00:19:29.63
You need support and I
didn't have that support.
00:19:29.66\00:19:31.63
Yeah. I really
think support is key.
00:19:31.67\00:19:33.60
I remember, you know,
00:19:33.64\00:19:35.24
as I was going through the
different things in my life
00:19:35.27\00:19:37.67
that I always, I could always
seem to return to my parents.
00:19:37.71\00:19:41.51
No matter if we
got into it constantly,
00:19:41.54\00:19:43.78
I could, I could always
count on them to be there,
00:19:43.81\00:19:47.42
which you know a lot
of people don't have that.
00:19:47.45\00:19:49.78
And one thing that
I know was powerful
00:19:49.82\00:19:51.95
was the fact that my parents
constantly prayed for me.
00:19:51.99\00:19:55.36
So I think, to have
that support number one for,
00:19:55.39\00:19:57.59
if somebody to
be able to went to,
00:19:57.63\00:19:59.19
because a lot of
times we say to people that,
00:19:59.23\00:20:00.80
you know, keep it real,
keep it real, what do you say.
00:20:00.83\00:20:02.66
But a lot of times
we don't keep it real,
00:20:02.70\00:20:04.43
we don't say really
what's deep down in us,
00:20:04.47\00:20:06.97
what's affecting us
00:20:07.00\00:20:08.34
and we find generally
that there's things within us
00:20:08.37\00:20:11.27
that are
motivating us to do something
00:20:11.31\00:20:13.21
that we're not dealing
with, that we're not telling it,
00:20:13.24\00:20:15.34
voicing it to somebody else,
so that somebody can help us.
00:20:15.38\00:20:18.11
And I think a lot of
that has to do with shame,
00:20:18.15\00:20:20.45
embarrassment, how
people gonna view us,
00:20:20.48\00:20:23.55
why are you thinking
these kind of thoughts,
00:20:23.59\00:20:25.15
different things like that.
00:20:25.19\00:20:26.52
What do you think
about that? I think too.
00:20:26.55\00:20:28.02
You're hitting
on a nerve to pride.
00:20:28.06\00:20:30.13
A lot of us carry that
pride we don't want to share it,
00:20:30.16\00:20:32.36
like you know, I
don't want people to know
00:20:32.39\00:20:33.73
what's inside of me because...
00:20:33.76\00:20:35.10
And you feel too
00:20:35.13\00:20:36.46
that some people
might not want to hear it.
00:20:36.50\00:20:37.83
And that's a lot of
things people don't want to hear
00:20:37.87\00:20:39.57
but there are people
out there who want to hear,
00:20:39.60\00:20:41.37
that want to listen, I mean,
00:20:41.40\00:20:42.74
you got to find
that chain of support,
00:20:42.77\00:20:45.17
in order to come out.
00:20:45.21\00:20:46.54
And for me, I
just praise the Lord,
00:20:46.57\00:20:47.91
that God had taken that
opportunity to direct me, so...
00:20:47.94\00:20:50.71
Yeah, I think, I think
voicing it plays a big part
00:20:50.75\00:20:53.28
because as we know from
Revelation also, chapter 12,
00:20:53.31\00:20:56.85
it talks about two
ways to overcome the devil
00:20:56.89\00:20:59.15
which is by the
blood of the Lamb
00:20:59.19\00:21:00.52
and by the word
of our testimony.
00:21:00.56\00:21:01.89
Testimony, yes.
00:21:01.92\00:21:03.26
So speaking to others about
things what we're dealing with
00:21:03.29\00:21:05.79
and how we overcome these things
00:21:05.83\00:21:07.66
help a lot of other people.
00:21:07.70\00:21:09.16
See one thing that
we have to understand
00:21:09.20\00:21:10.53
that this thing is a...
00:21:10.57\00:21:11.90
It's more than just
you and I. That's right.
00:21:11.93\00:21:13.34
It's more than just
me, it's a big picture.
00:21:13.37\00:21:15.57
So one, something that I
do doesn't just affect me,
00:21:15.60\00:21:19.17
it affects a
host of other people.
00:21:19.21\00:21:21.54
And I think that we have to,
00:21:21.58\00:21:22.91
we have to come
to that realization
00:21:22.94\00:21:24.31
whether we do right
or whether we do wrong,
00:21:24.35\00:21:26.15
it's affecting
more than just me.
00:21:26.18\00:21:27.95
A lot of times I
think we have this...
00:21:27.98\00:21:30.19
We're very selfish,
00:21:30.22\00:21:31.62
a lot of us are
very selfish people.
00:21:31.65\00:21:33.99
But I want you to talk about
how the Book of Hebrews 11,
00:21:34.02\00:21:37.53
talks about the
pleasures of sin for a season.
00:21:37.56\00:21:41.06
Talk about how thou
was pleasurable for season
00:21:41.10\00:21:44.30
eventually it came to an end
because sometimes people think,
00:21:44.33\00:21:48.47
"Man, this is pleasurable,
00:21:48.50\00:21:49.84
I don't want this
to end, I love this."
00:21:49.87\00:21:51.21
But talk about
that comparison for me?
00:21:51.24\00:21:53.07
I think, that pleasure of
sin can lead to destruction
00:21:53.11\00:21:58.05
and eventually it's
gonna ruin or destroy you.
00:21:58.08\00:21:59.58
I mean, like you're talking
00:21:59.61\00:22:00.95
about the idea of relationships,
00:22:00.98\00:22:02.32
I mean, it was so detrimental,
00:22:02.35\00:22:03.95
how that
pornography was so entrenched
00:22:03.99\00:22:06.49
that I was having a hard
time communicating with people
00:22:06.52\00:22:09.02
because I was
keeping it all to myself
00:22:09.06\00:22:11.13
and I didn't know
how to talk to people.
00:22:11.16\00:22:13.40
And it was
destroying my, you know,
00:22:13.43\00:22:15.30
my relationship to people
00:22:15.33\00:22:17.00
and that those around me,
they didn't know how to help.
00:22:17.03\00:22:18.73
My mom was like
something's wrong with you,
00:22:18.77\00:22:20.40
you need to get, you
know, psychiatric help.
00:22:20.44\00:22:22.57
And I did even
said, "No I don't want it.
00:22:22.60\00:22:24.41
I just want to be left alone."
00:22:24.44\00:22:25.77
And I kind of want to
cower in my own corner
00:22:25.81\00:22:27.64
and actually at one
point want to commit suicide.
00:22:27.68\00:22:29.34
Yeah, wow.
00:22:29.38\00:22:30.71
And that's how far it gets to
00:22:30.75\00:22:32.08
where you are
dislocated from people.
00:22:32.11\00:22:33.75
You've got to realize
that there are people out there
00:22:33.78\00:22:35.12
that love and care for
you and want to help you.
00:22:35.15\00:22:37.85
And you've got to want
to cry out for that help.
00:22:37.89\00:22:39.65
Now you mentioned something key,
00:22:39.69\00:22:41.02
you mentioned suicide.
00:22:41.06\00:22:42.39
I want to just
talk about that briefly
00:22:42.42\00:22:43.76
because that's one of the things
00:22:43.79\00:22:45.13
that I was
dealing with for a minute.
00:22:45.16\00:22:47.10
You know, I grew up
00:22:47.13\00:22:48.46
in a
Seventh-day Adventist Church
00:22:48.50\00:22:50.17
and I had left
for a number of years,
00:22:50.20\00:22:52.50
I was just fed up with things.
00:22:52.53\00:22:54.10
And I wanted to see basically
what the world had to offer.
00:22:54.14\00:22:57.07
And you know, as
you go through life,
00:22:57.11\00:22:59.37
I got involved in a
number of different things,
00:22:59.41\00:23:01.44
drugs, drinking,
incarcerated a number of times
00:23:01.48\00:23:05.18
and it's kind of
like I got in this circle.
00:23:05.21\00:23:06.92
This circle of mess where
it's like, you can't get out.
00:23:06.95\00:23:08.88
It's almost like,
you're just chasing your tail.
00:23:08.92\00:23:11.05
And I came to the
point where I was fed up,
00:23:11.09\00:23:14.42
just fed up with
life, fed up with everything
00:23:14.46\00:23:16.66
and I wanted to commit suicide.
00:23:16.69\00:23:18.79
And it just stemmed
from like I'm fed up with.
00:23:18.83\00:23:20.76
I didn't want to yield to God,
00:23:20.80\00:23:23.06
I just didn't, I just
didn't want to deal with that
00:23:23.10\00:23:25.33
and there was no fulfillment,
no joy in life, nothing.
00:23:25.37\00:23:29.24
And instead of
taking the messy way out
00:23:29.27\00:23:31.31
which I thought of
either jumping off a building
00:23:31.34\00:23:33.31
or something or
shooting myself in the head,
00:23:33.34\00:23:35.74
I decided to try
to overdose on drugs
00:23:35.78\00:23:37.98
which praise the
Lord, for it didn't work
00:23:38.01\00:23:39.61
because I'm sitting
here and talking right now.
00:23:39.65\00:23:42.15
But the suicide thoughts for
me came just from a fedupness,
00:23:42.18\00:23:46.09
a emptiness, a
lost feeling like,
00:23:46.12\00:23:48.66
"Man, I'm at the
bottom of the barrel
00:23:48.69\00:23:50.23
and I can't take it."
00:23:50.26\00:23:51.59
So what was the
feeling within you
00:23:51.63\00:23:53.50
that brought you to
the thoughts of suicide
00:23:53.53\00:23:55.86
because there's a
lot of people that,
00:23:55.90\00:23:57.73
you know, constantly on
the news you hear about,
00:23:57.77\00:24:00.24
a person who was bullied
and they committed suicide.
00:24:00.27\00:24:02.80
So suicide is a major,
a major thing these days.
00:24:02.84\00:24:06.84
What was that point in your life
00:24:06.88\00:24:08.34
that brought you
to those thoughts?
00:24:08.38\00:24:09.81
Again, like you
said, the bullying.
00:24:09.84\00:24:11.61
I was a small boy
in school, you know,
00:24:11.65\00:24:14.48
had several kids
that harassed me,
00:24:14.52\00:24:15.85
actually I don't know if
you ever heard of this term
00:24:15.88\00:24:17.22
but swirly?
00:24:17.25\00:24:18.59
No, no, I
haven't heard it, okay.
00:24:18.62\00:24:19.95
I can go
graphic, it's where the...
00:24:19.99\00:24:21.82
A person tries to
push your head in a toilet,
00:24:21.86\00:24:23.53
and they're flushing as,
you know, stuff in the toilet.
00:24:23.56\00:24:26.26
Wow.
00:24:26.29\00:24:27.63
And I had three
boys try that to me,
00:24:27.66\00:24:29.00
one actually shoved
my head in the toilet,
00:24:29.03\00:24:30.37
another one kind of
barred away from the stall
00:24:30.40\00:24:32.10
and the one barred the way
to the exit of the bathroom.
00:24:32.13\00:24:35.20
And I just got bullied a
lot and it drove me to a point
00:24:35.24\00:24:38.14
where I just, I want
nothing to do with, people,
00:24:38.17\00:24:40.44
I just want to
be away from people.
00:24:40.48\00:24:42.08
I thought nobody cared, I
just felt like just giving up
00:24:42.11\00:24:45.25
even my own
brothers would sometimes,
00:24:45.28\00:24:46.82
you know harass and ridicule me
00:24:46.85\00:24:48.92
to the point where I
just said that's enough,
00:24:48.95\00:24:51.22
I just want to go
downstairs and slit my wrists
00:24:51.25\00:24:53.05
and get it over with.
00:24:53.09\00:24:54.42
As I had felt that nobody cared
00:24:54.46\00:24:55.79
and that Satan likes to whisper
those things in your head.
00:24:55.82\00:24:57.93
Yeah, definitely.
00:24:57.96\00:24:59.29
Put those little
things in your life
00:24:59.33\00:25:00.66
to just come in
and try to destroy you,
00:25:00.70\00:25:02.56
he comes to
steal, kill and destroy.
00:25:02.60\00:25:04.83
Talk about for us the joys that
you have now working with 3ABN
00:25:04.87\00:25:08.57
versus the life that
you were living before,
00:25:08.60\00:25:11.27
as well as what
you do with 3ABN?
00:25:11.31\00:25:13.88
Right now, I'm a studio manager
for what they call studio E.
00:25:13.91\00:25:17.01
Okay.
00:25:17.05\00:25:18.38
But the joy is just
again it's the peace,
00:25:18.41\00:25:21.08
the assurance of
knowing and knowing God
00:25:21.12\00:25:24.15
and having a
relationship with Him
00:25:24.19\00:25:25.52
and working with such
a wonderful staff here.
00:25:25.55\00:25:27.26
Definitely.
00:25:27.29\00:25:28.99
Nothing against
the secular world
00:25:29.02\00:25:30.36
but working out
in the secular world
00:25:30.39\00:25:31.73
is just that
there is a difference
00:25:31.76\00:25:33.09
in coming here there
is such a camaraderie
00:25:33.13\00:25:35.36
of brother, sister relationship,
00:25:35.40\00:25:38.13
just feeling that peace and joy
00:25:38.17\00:25:39.87
and having a relationship
with Jesus Christ ultimately,
00:25:39.90\00:25:42.84
but also with
those you work with.
00:25:42.87\00:25:44.67
And it's such a
blessing to be here
00:25:44.71\00:25:46.64
and also to be in the fold
00:25:46.68\00:25:48.81
and be called back,
you're good shepherd.
00:25:48.84\00:25:51.08
So I'm very thankful
for that and to overcome,
00:25:51.11\00:25:53.72
as you know, being
overcomer through Christ.
00:25:53.75\00:25:56.05
So thankful for
that peace. Definitely.
00:25:56.08\00:25:57.89
It's interesting how the
Bible states in Revelation 2:3,
00:25:57.92\00:26:02.42
where you're reading
about the seven churches
00:26:02.46\00:26:04.13
and in each of those churches
says to him that overcometh,
00:26:04.16\00:26:06.73
to him that overcometh,
00:26:06.76\00:26:08.10
and we realize to
spend eternity with Jesus,
00:26:08.13\00:26:10.13
we have to overcome.
00:26:10.17\00:26:11.50
And a beautiful thing is that
we don't have to overcome alone
00:26:11.53\00:26:14.00
that Jesus helps us to overcome
all those trials in our life.
00:26:14.04\00:26:18.57
What I want you to do right now,
00:26:18.61\00:26:20.01
is I want you to
look into the camera
00:26:20.04\00:26:21.38
and I want you to
take a few moments
00:26:21.41\00:26:22.94
to talk to that young
person that is struggling
00:26:22.98\00:26:24.85
with pornography addiction
00:26:24.88\00:26:26.31
or whatever addiction it may be,
00:26:26.35\00:26:27.98
talk about how you realize
00:26:28.02\00:26:30.75
that they need to
break away from it
00:26:30.79\00:26:32.55
and follow Jesus for
the rest of their life.
00:26:32.59\00:26:36.12
What I would say to the young,
00:26:36.16\00:26:37.93
young minds out there
listening to this program is
00:26:37.96\00:26:41.43
you need someone to look to
00:26:41.46\00:26:43.06
and there's a song says,
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
00:26:43.10\00:26:47.34
Revelations 3:20,
tells us you know,
00:26:47.37\00:26:49.97
He stands at the
door and He knocks
00:26:50.01\00:26:52.44
and if any man hears His
voice, ye open that door to him,
00:26:52.47\00:26:55.98
He'll come in and sup with
you and He will sup with you.
00:26:56.01\00:26:59.68
But it's just so important
that we open that door,
00:26:59.71\00:27:01.82
that's the first
for me personally
00:27:01.85\00:27:03.52
is the idea of
opening your heart to Jesus,
00:27:03.55\00:27:05.55
He can come and He
can shape and mold you.
00:27:05.59\00:27:07.72
He's called the
potter and we are the clay,
00:27:07.76\00:27:10.06
so important.
00:27:10.09\00:27:11.43
And also to
find a support group,
00:27:11.46\00:27:14.03
somebody you can turn
to, somebody that you trust,
00:27:14.06\00:27:16.33
somebody you know,
that won't condemn you
00:27:16.36\00:27:18.33
or who'll make fun of you
00:27:18.37\00:27:19.70
but somebody that you
can speak to and open up to
00:27:19.73\00:27:22.24
and share this with
this pain, this hurt,
00:27:22.27\00:27:26.01
this journey that
you're on currently
00:27:26.04\00:27:27.98
and you want to make a change,
00:27:28.01\00:27:29.34
it can be possible,
you just need support
00:27:29.38\00:27:31.81
but ultimately you need
Jesus Christ in your life.
00:27:31.85\00:27:34.12
He can make that
difference in your life,
00:27:34.15\00:27:35.62
He made in my life,
I know from experience,
00:27:35.65\00:27:39.99
so just pray out
Him, cry out to Him,
00:27:40.02\00:27:42.39
He says, broken
and contrite spirit,
00:27:42.42\00:27:44.39
he does not despise.
00:27:44.43\00:27:46.06
So just reach out
to Him and He's there.
00:27:46.09\00:27:49.26
He says, He never leaves
nor forsake you either, so...
00:27:49.30\00:27:51.00
Amen.
00:27:51.03\00:27:52.37
Well, Donald, we
want to thank you
00:27:52.40\00:27:53.74
for being on the program.
00:27:53.77\00:27:55.10
Thank you for tuning
into The New Journey.
00:27:55.14\00:27:56.77
Be sure to tune in next
time for an exciting program.
00:27:56.81\00:27:59.54