The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Today, we'll meet a young woman
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who has been
through the trials of life,
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but now actively serves Jesus.
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Find out how on today's
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exciting episode
of The New journey.
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Welcome back to The New Journey.
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On today's program, we
have with us Amanda Scott.
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Amanda, welcome to the program.
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Thank you for having me.
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Okay.
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So those that don't know,
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where are you
from, how old are you,
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and give us a little
family history information.
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Well, I am from
Huntsville, Alabama.
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Okay.
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I am 37 years old, and I
am the oldest of 3 siblings.
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I have two other
sisters, and no brother, so...
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Okay.
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What was your early childhood
like growing up in Huntsville,
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Alabama?
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Well, truthfully to be honest,
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it was like a walking nightmare.
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Okay. Okay.
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And I endured a lot of things
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that I wouldn't
wish on my worst enemy.
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You know, but due to
the life I had to live,
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it's just how it was, so...
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Okay.
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Now as a young
child you had informed me
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before that you are
abused by your stepfather,
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give us a little
information about that.
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Well, he was,
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I don't know how to say it
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but, you know, how you are,
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I mean, you know you're
not sibling of a sibling.
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Okay. You know what I'm saying?
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That's how I was treated,
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and due to the
history behind it,
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you know, which I am
still learning to this day.
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Okay.
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Plays a big
part in it, you know.
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I don't know, it
just seemed like there's
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some type of vengeance
towards me or something.
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And I remember him telling me
a long time ago that the reason
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why he treated me
the way he treated me
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because I remind
him of my father.
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Well.
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But I lost my
father when he was 27,
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I was almost 2, you know.
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So I never got a chance
to know who he really was.
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But due to the
stories that I heard,
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he was a great man.
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Okay.
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Now what was it like
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growing up without your
biological father in your life,
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how did that make you feel?
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Empty. Okay.
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Because I never knew
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how would it feel to be
loved by your own father.
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Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
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So I looked at it as, you know,
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when God called
my father's name,
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he just replaced
himself with my father.
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Praise the
Lord, praise the Lord.
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Now at the age of
14, you were raped.
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Yes, I was.
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Give a little
information about that,
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and what went on
with you emotionally
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as a result of the rape?
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Actually, when I was
young and in high school,
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just getting started,
I thought I had friends
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that I could trust and I didn't.
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You know, when at
school, they'll let you go,
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get you something to eat
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but I tell they want to put
you in a whole another place.
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Okay. You know what I'm saying?
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And due to the
contrary of what happened,
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you know what I'm
saying, that's what it led into.
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You know, so it was horrific.
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Okay.
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And I felt like I was
lost, you know what I'm saying,
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like okay, this is
not happening to me,
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but actually in turn it did.
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You know what I'm saying?
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So I happen to be there
with those type of people
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because it
wasn't just one person.
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Okay. You know what I'm saying?
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It was more than one person.
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Now did you know the people? No.
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Or do you know some of them?
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No, I didn't know
them at all. Okay.
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They just taught
at high school. Okay.
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Now as a result of that,
your oldest son was born.
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Have you two ever sat down
and talked about the incident?
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And how does he
handle it even to this day
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if you have talked about?
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Well, when he was 13,
I have prayed about it
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'cause I really wanted
him to know how he got here.
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Okay.
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And, but I wanted him to know
the meaning of why he is here,
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you know.
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And so when he was
13, I sat him down,
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I told him, you
know what I'm saying,
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you know, 'cause he was
always asking about his father,
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and I used to always tell him,
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"Well, God's your
father, babe," you know.
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And when I told him
about what happened,
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you know, he tore my house up.
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I let him do it.
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He was angry, he
was mad, he was upset.
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And I told him, I said,
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"You have every
right to be upset."
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You know.
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And he told me
that he was more angry
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at what they did to me
versus how he got here.
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Okay.
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I said, "Well, son, you know,
the way, look it at like this,
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you know, I was 14 years old,
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and my mother bought a
pill for me to take for my..."
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For the pregnancy. You know.
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Right, to go ahead and abort it,
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but I kept hearing God
say, "No, don't do it."
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You know what I'm saying?
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And this at the
age of 14, you know.
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And so I told to my son, I said,
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"You know if God is telling me
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not to do this at the age of 14,
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son, you are
supposed to be in here."
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Yeah, exactly.
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Despite, however u got here,
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you know, due to the things
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that were going in my household,
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just like I told
him, "You saved my life."
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Which he did, you
know what I'm saying?
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We have a bond that
is never been broken,
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ever, you know what I am saying?
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And I'm so proud of
him because now he is 22.
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Okay.
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He's graduated from high school.
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Praise the lord. You
know what I'm saying?
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He's getting
ready to go college now.
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Okay.
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And he's just a great young man,
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and he's handsome,
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and that's just my baby,
you know what I'm saying?
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That's great.
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You know, and it's a joy that,
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you know, he could
have taken another route.
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You mentioned that
he's in college now,
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graduated at high school.
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And I am sure it could
have been easy for him to say,
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"Well, this and this happened."
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So it's this
built-up anger within him.
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Yes.
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And took a whole
different lifestyle.
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Yeah.
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But it's blessing
that he didn't, and he's,
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you know, in school
and things like that.
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Talk a little bit
about your mother.
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Growing up with your mother,
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her background,
and things like that.
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How was that?
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Well, my mom was, she
was a hardworking woman.
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Okay.
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And she worked all
the days of her life.
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And she wore hard on her sleeve.
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You know what I'm saying?
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And due to the
marriages that she was in,
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I see the advantage
that was taken over,
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you know what I'm saying?
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And how vulnerable she was,
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so due to her being
strung-out in drugs and stuff,
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it never turned me against
her, maybe I love her even more
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because I knew who my
mother was on the inside,
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you know, so...
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You know, she had
a lot of struggles
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that she had to go through
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but through
God's help and prayer,
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you know what I'm saying,
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she overcame all of those things
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of being in a
marriage for 20 years,
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been abused for
almost that along,
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you know what I'm saying.
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Just having to endure the life
that she had endure, you know,
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it was really hard on
her, but she's a strong women.
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Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
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Did you, as a young child,
did you look up to your mother?
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Actually, I
looked up to God for her.
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Okay.
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Because she wasn't
able to be the mother
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that she could have
been for us due to the things
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she was going through herself.
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Okay.
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And so that's what helped me
to understand her as a mother,
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you know what I'm saying?
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And until this day, I
still don't fodder for,
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you know, because
I've seen the reason
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why she couldn't, you
know what I am saying.
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But to me she taught me
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the inner strength
instead of outer strength.
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Okay.
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Now being that your
mother was in various things,
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how do you think that
affected you for negative
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or positive
throughout your life?
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It affected me
on the negative side
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to where that
people were saying,
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"You're gonna be
just like your mom,
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you're gonna be, you're
never gonna be nothing,"
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you know what I'm saying?
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In my eyes, my mother was
like, she's like Super Women,
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but better little bit.
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You know what I'm saying?
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You know, I
always looked them like,
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you know what, no I'm not,
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but I hope I have strength,
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you know what I'm saying?
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I hope I have her love
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as she as on her
sleeve and I did.
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You know, so I looked up to her
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on the positive aspect
of that note, you know.
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Okay.
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Now how did you deal with,
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'cause many young people
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deal with the fact
of somebody telling,
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"You ain't gonna be nothing,
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you ain't gonna
succeed in life," and for some,
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they accept that,
they believed that,
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because it
becomes engrained in them.
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But how did
that affect your life
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when someone or many people
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whoever said that
you're never gonna be anything,
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you're gonna be
like your mother.
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How did that affect you
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when people did say those words?
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That was cruel. Okay.
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It was heartbreaking
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because I already knew
what the situation was,
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I already knew the reason
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why they were treating me
like they were treating me.
00:08:43.42\00:08:44.75
I already knew the reason
why anything ever went on,
00:08:44.79\00:08:47.46
but to me I looked them
like, "Okay, you are lie."
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You know what I'm saying?
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The devil is a lie,
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you're not gonna to
speak to somebody me this way.
00:08:52.89\00:08:54.76
You know, and for
me to understand it,
00:08:54.80\00:08:57.67
I had to understand, "Okay, God,
00:08:57.70\00:08:59.20
I'm going through
this for a reason."
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Okay.
00:09:00.60\00:09:01.94
"I need you to tell
me what the reason is,
00:09:01.97\00:09:03.41
and I got to be your child
00:09:03.44\00:09:05.44
if you want me to be
treated me like this."
00:09:05.47\00:09:06.81
You know what I'm saying?
00:09:06.84\00:09:08.18
So I turned to God
more than I did anything.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Even as a child,
and not knowing that,
00:09:11.18\00:09:13.85
you know, that's
what was going on.
00:09:13.88\00:09:15.88
But when he
brought me back to it,
00:09:15.92\00:09:17.65
he reminded me he was calling
on me every time, you know?
00:09:17.69\00:09:20.92
Okay.
00:09:20.96\00:09:22.29
Now for the other
siblings in your household,
00:09:22.32\00:09:24.73
for your
siblings in the household,
00:09:24.76\00:09:26.29
how did they process
all of this information?
00:09:26.33\00:09:29.26
And how do they
process it even today?
00:09:29.30\00:09:32.77
They never actually went
through what I went through.
00:09:32.80\00:09:35.37
I thank God for that
but due to the history,
00:09:35.40\00:09:40.14
you know, they had a lot
of things put in their head.
00:09:40.18\00:09:42.58
You know what I'm saying?
00:09:42.61\00:09:43.95
I wish that me and
my sisters relationship
00:09:43.98\00:09:45.55
was tremendously
better than what it is,
00:09:45.58\00:09:47.78
but those are my
sisters, I love them death.
00:09:47.82\00:09:49.62
You know what I'm saying,
00:09:49.65\00:09:50.99
but due to the
things that said to them,
00:09:51.02\00:09:55.46
you know, really,
really just put a damper
00:09:55.49\00:09:58.19
in our relationship,
00:09:58.23\00:09:59.56
but to me,
00:09:59.59\00:10:00.93
it was just like I really
didn't know the reason why,
00:10:00.96\00:10:02.70
so it just made me a big
sister even harder for them.
00:10:02.73\00:10:05.43
Yeah. Okay, praise the Lord.
00:10:05.47\00:10:07.04
Now you eventually
withdrew from school.
00:10:07.07\00:10:09.80
What age did you
withdraw from school?
00:10:09.84\00:10:12.07
And why did you withdraw?
00:10:12.11\00:10:13.88
Actually, what happened was
00:10:13.91\00:10:15.48
due to that
something was going on my home
00:10:15.51\00:10:17.78
my teachers and everybody
knew what was going on at home.
00:10:17.81\00:10:21.22
And they tried
their best to help me,
00:10:21.25\00:10:22.78
and I thank God for all of them.
00:10:22.82\00:10:24.35
But there just wasn't
anything that they could do.
00:10:24.39\00:10:26.35
And my principal,
00:10:26.39\00:10:28.19
who was the
principle at the high school
00:10:28.22\00:10:29.92
I went to, had
called me to the office.
00:10:29.96\00:10:33.33
And he was crying, I
thought I was in trouble,
00:10:33.36\00:10:35.33
he was like, "Well, you
know, I never did this before,
00:10:35.36\00:10:40.64
but God has put it on me,
00:10:40.67\00:10:42.00
on my heart to
withdraw you from school
00:10:42.04\00:10:44.57
because you need to
take care of your kids."
00:10:44.61\00:10:47.38
You know what I'm saying?
00:10:47.41\00:10:48.74
"And I feel like
that once you go home,
00:10:48.78\00:10:52.45
and you take care of them,
00:10:52.48\00:10:53.82
that they're
gonna turn on just fine,
00:10:53.85\00:10:55.45
you know, and this is
what I need you to do.
00:10:55.48\00:10:58.35
And so I know you hit on me son,
00:10:58.39\00:11:00.39
and I know you want
to get you education,
00:11:00.42\00:11:01.76
and I know you want to
be something and believe me,
00:11:01.79\00:11:04.49
we all know this, but
you can't do it in here,
00:11:04.53\00:11:07.80
you're gonna have to go home
and take care of your kids."
00:11:07.83\00:11:09.23
Okay.
00:11:09.26\00:11:10.60
Now what age was
that when that happened?
00:11:10.63\00:11:13.13
I was 17. Seventeen years old.
00:11:13.17\00:11:15.04
Okay, what part,
let's backup a little bit.
00:11:15.07\00:11:17.64
What part of
Huntsville are you from?
00:11:17.67\00:11:20.51
Actually, from all over,
00:11:20.54\00:11:22.08
originally from
the Northford area.
00:11:22.11\00:11:25.15
Okay.
00:11:25.18\00:11:26.51
And just really I
was from all over really.
00:11:26.55\00:11:29.28
Okay, now I am familiar
00:11:29.32\00:11:30.65
with some of the
names the Northwood area,
00:11:30.69\00:11:32.02
Butler Harris, Patton Home
some of this various areas,
00:11:32.05\00:11:34.76
what is it like growing
up in those particular areas?
00:11:34.79\00:11:39.26
Actually, all of them
have different worlds in them.
00:11:39.29\00:11:41.66
You know what I'm saying?
00:11:41.70\00:11:43.03
Which you
probably know, you know.
00:11:43.06\00:11:44.40
But this is just
different worlds.
00:11:44.43\00:11:49.07
I didn't really
have too many friends,
00:11:49.10\00:11:51.17
but I knew a lot of people.
00:11:51.21\00:11:52.71
I was like the one
that always got picked on
00:11:52.74\00:11:54.38
'cause I didn't
have better clothes,
00:11:54.41\00:11:55.74
I didn't have
this and the other.
00:11:55.78\00:11:57.11
You know what I'm saying?
00:11:57.15\00:11:58.48
And so due to everybody knowing
what's going on at my house,
00:11:58.51\00:12:02.08
you know what I am saying,
that really made it worse.
00:12:02.12\00:12:04.45
But other than that, you know,
00:12:04.49\00:12:06.25
they were good people
out there too as well.
00:12:06.29\00:12:07.62
Okay.
00:12:07.66\00:12:08.99
How did you deal with
being picked one at young age?
00:12:09.02\00:12:12.16
You know the sad thing is
that that happens constantly.
00:12:12.19\00:12:16.60
Kids get around, they want
to joke one on each other about
00:12:16.63\00:12:18.80
what you have and
what you don't have.
00:12:18.83\00:12:21.14
And, you know, you
hear so many stories
00:12:21.17\00:12:23.47
with people that commit suicide
00:12:23.51\00:12:25.47
because of the fact
that they were bullied
00:12:25.51\00:12:27.28
or because they were
picked on consistently
00:12:27.31\00:12:29.34
about not having
the finer clothes
00:12:29.38\00:12:31.25
and things like that.
00:12:31.28\00:12:32.61
But how did you process that?
00:12:32.65\00:12:34.05
I processed it
as, you know, I must.
00:12:34.08\00:12:38.52
There must be something about me
00:12:38.55\00:12:40.29
for you to do which you do.
00:12:40.32\00:12:41.66
You know what I'm saying?
00:12:41.69\00:12:43.02
But in my eyes, no matter,
00:12:43.06\00:12:44.99
if as long as I am not doing it.
00:12:45.03\00:12:46.36
Yeah. I am fine. You
know what I'm saying?
00:12:46.39\00:12:47.86
But it helped me to not
to be a materliastic person.
00:12:47.90\00:12:50.80
So even though I didn't have it,
00:12:50.83\00:12:52.73
you know what I'm saying,
I appreciated what I had.
00:12:52.77\00:12:54.30
You know, even more, you know,
and so it was like, it was hard
00:12:54.34\00:13:01.04
because they know what
you do in the situation,
00:13:01.08\00:13:04.18
they know what's
going on, they know this,
00:13:04.21\00:13:06.45
but it just wasn't never,
00:13:06.48\00:13:08.08
they would never have me to,
00:13:08.12\00:13:09.45
to try in my life
or you think like that.
00:13:09.48\00:13:11.19
Praise the Lord.
00:13:11.22\00:13:12.55
Because I couldn't
see it, I couldn't see it.
00:13:12.59\00:13:14.26
Okay.
00:13:14.29\00:13:15.62
Now eventually
you are emancipated
00:13:15.66\00:13:17.06
from your mother.
00:13:17.09\00:13:18.96
First of all,
what is it mean to be
00:13:18.99\00:13:20.80
emancipated from a family member
00:13:20.83\00:13:23.50
and then what was
the emotional effect
00:13:23.53\00:13:25.80
upon your life
based on that situation?
00:13:25.83\00:13:29.47
It was very tremendous
00:13:29.50\00:13:32.47
and being emancipated means
00:13:32.51\00:13:34.08
you getting
divorce from your parents.
00:13:34.11\00:13:35.64
Wow. You know what I am saying?
00:13:35.68\00:13:38.75
It actually classified
me as an adult in early age
00:13:38.78\00:13:41.38
and all this
happened at the age of 17.
00:13:41.42\00:13:42.75
Wow.
00:13:42.78\00:13:44.12
And so, there are as you know,
00:13:44.15\00:13:46.62
okay, you're gonna have
to take care of yourself.
00:13:46.65\00:13:48.46
It even got to the point
to where they were trying to,
00:13:48.49\00:13:51.33
I had sit in
front of like 30 women,
00:13:51.36\00:13:53.50
just to see if one of them
00:13:53.53\00:13:55.03
was going to
adopt into their family
00:13:55.06\00:13:58.60
so I can take care of my family.
00:13:58.63\00:14:00.50
And I told to my
lawyer, I said I can't do this.
00:14:00.54\00:14:03.00
Yeah.
00:14:03.04\00:14:04.37
Just let me do it on my
own, you know what I'm saying?
00:14:04.41\00:14:06.37
And I promise you, I make sure
00:14:06.41\00:14:09.01
that I want you to take care of,
00:14:09.04\00:14:10.58
you know what I'm saying,
so I want to get my own place
00:14:10.61\00:14:12.51
which was against the
law but at the age of 17.
00:14:12.55\00:14:15.02
But due to the law
00:14:15.05\00:14:18.05
classifies me an
adult at that time,
00:14:18.09\00:14:19.99
it all worked out.
00:14:20.02\00:14:21.36
Okay.
00:14:21.39\00:14:22.72
Now at 17 years old
also you are charged
00:14:22.76\00:14:24.79
with the first-degree
assault/manslaughter.
00:14:24.83\00:14:28.66
Yes.
00:14:28.70\00:14:30.33
What caused that,
00:14:30.37\00:14:31.70
what led up to that
being charged with that crime?
00:14:31.73\00:14:34.80
Actually, how would it led up to
00:14:34.84\00:14:37.17
was that a
family member of mine,
00:14:37.21\00:14:41.61
I love her death, was
getting something done to her.
00:14:41.64\00:14:45.58
And the person that was there
with us was picking on her.
00:14:45.61\00:14:51.22
And he kept making
jokes, and I kept telling him,
00:14:51.25\00:14:53.72
"Look, you have to be quiet,
00:14:53.76\00:14:55.09
and I have my
son lying up in lap.
00:14:55.12\00:14:57.06
And so she was
really angry at him
00:14:57.09\00:15:01.46
but I am the one that
caught the lash of it,
00:15:01.50\00:15:02.83
you know what I'm saying?
00:15:02.86\00:15:04.20
So it was like in a
rock and hard place,
00:15:04.23\00:15:05.97
it's I'm like riding
between both of them,
00:15:06.00\00:15:07.47
you know what I'm saying?
00:15:07.50\00:15:08.84
And so she pretty
much just about to hit me,
00:15:08.87\00:15:10.71
you know what I'm saying?
00:15:10.74\00:15:12.07
And somehow she hit me so hard
00:15:12.11\00:15:13.48
so that the last was
00:15:13.51\00:15:14.88
when she hit she
came about like this much
00:15:14.91\00:15:17.21
from hitting my son in his face.
00:15:17.25\00:15:18.58
Wow!
00:15:18.61\00:15:19.95
And I've just snapped,
you know what I am saying.
00:15:19.98\00:15:21.32
And I got up and
we went fighting.
00:15:21.35\00:15:23.35
And due to the fight,
it was so excruciating
00:15:23.39\00:15:27.12
that I could have
actually killed her,
00:15:27.16\00:15:28.69
you know what I'm saying?
00:15:28.72\00:15:30.06
Just from fighting,
no weapons, no nothing.
00:15:30.09\00:15:31.43
Okay.
00:15:31.46\00:15:32.79
But how, this is how
I end up with the charge
00:15:32.83\00:15:34.36
is from someone else's,
00:15:34.40\00:15:36.87
you know what I
am saying, actions.
00:15:36.90\00:15:38.97
But they had, I'm in
front of the judge he,
00:15:39.00\00:15:42.87
they certified me,
he gave me 15 years.
00:15:42.90\00:15:45.77
He said, okay.
00:15:45.81\00:15:47.14
I'll tell you what...
00:15:47.18\00:15:48.78
'Cause he already had my
case in front of me anyway.
00:15:48.81\00:15:50.95
Just so everything
that's what's going on,
00:15:50.98\00:15:52.91
and so he told me, he said,
00:15:52.95\00:15:54.28
"Well, either
this is gonna help you
00:15:54.32\00:15:55.65
or it's gonna hurt you.
00:15:55.68\00:15:57.05
And you need to make
sure that no more fights,
00:15:57.09\00:16:00.16
you know what I'm saying?
00:16:00.19\00:16:01.52
And I feel like
this is gonna help you
00:16:01.56\00:16:03.29
because what you going through."
00:16:03.32\00:16:05.56
And so he told me if
I get into any trouble,
00:16:05.59\00:16:08.76
no matter when, you know,
00:16:08.80\00:16:10.87
I will be looking
at 15 years to life.
00:16:10.90\00:16:12.67
You know what I'm saying?
00:16:12.70\00:16:14.04
So no matter if I did 5 years
00:16:14.07\00:16:15.87
no matter, I
give up the fighting,
00:16:15.90\00:16:17.24
I'm gonna have to do the
same 5 years plus the 15,
00:16:17.27\00:16:19.21
and they are gonna
tell me how much lot more
00:16:19.24\00:16:20.58
you know what I'm
saying, behind that.
00:16:20.61\00:16:22.04
Because of that extent of
what happened in the fight,
00:16:22.08\00:16:26.01
you know, but until this day,
00:16:26.05\00:16:27.75
I apologize to her
until this day, you know, so.
00:16:27.78\00:16:30.75
So you didn't have to
go prison for the 15 years.
00:16:30.79\00:16:33.82
No.
00:16:33.86\00:16:35.19
And you eventually got
put on probation right?
00:16:35.22\00:16:37.96
Okay.
00:16:37.99\00:16:39.33
Now let's talk about after
that you eventually got married.
00:16:39.36\00:16:43.33
You're married
two different times
00:16:43.37\00:16:44.83
and then divorced both times.
00:16:44.87\00:16:46.97
What was going on in your life
00:16:47.00\00:16:48.34
and how were you feeling
emotionally after all this,
00:16:48.37\00:16:51.27
all this turmoil
in your life being
00:16:51.31\00:16:54.24
"divorced from your parents",
00:16:54.28\00:16:57.11
the rape
situation at a younger age,
00:16:57.15\00:16:59.81
this manslaughter charge,
00:16:59.85\00:17:02.58
now married two different times
00:17:02.62\00:17:04.29
and divorced
two different times.
00:17:04.32\00:17:06.25
What was going on emotionally
00:17:06.29\00:17:08.06
and transpiring
in these situations?
00:17:08.09\00:17:10.03
It's got to better than this.
00:17:10.06\00:17:12.23
You know, but for all of that
was a lesson learned for me.
00:17:12.26\00:17:16.50
You know what
I'm saying, for me.
00:17:16.53\00:17:18.10
And when I got
divorced the first time,
00:17:18.13\00:17:20.60
you know what I'm saying, I
married my children's father,
00:17:20.64\00:17:22.34
my son's father, and it
just didn't turn out right,
00:17:22.37\00:17:24.74
you know what I'm saying?
00:17:24.77\00:17:26.11
And so I winded up
in a woman's shelter
00:17:26.14\00:17:27.48
and coming back home.
00:17:27.51\00:17:29.11
And then, later on down the line
00:17:29.14\00:17:30.55
I got married again
to another gentleman,
00:17:30.58\00:17:32.95
which that didn't
turn out right either,
00:17:32.98\00:17:34.38
you know what I'm saying?
00:17:34.42\00:17:35.75
And we winded
up getting divorced
00:17:35.78\00:17:38.59
but I took it all
as a lesson learned.
00:17:38.62\00:17:41.92
Okay.
00:17:41.96\00:17:43.29
It actually built me
instead of destroying me.
00:17:43.32\00:17:45.19
You know what I'm saying?
00:17:45.23\00:17:46.56
Because I don't want to
look at it as my downfall.
00:17:46.59\00:17:49.53
I was trying to be a good wife
and you know what I'm saying?
00:17:49.56\00:17:52.20
And have a family of my own
00:17:52.23\00:17:54.97
and have better
foundation for my children
00:17:55.00\00:17:57.27
but just the
people that I was choosing
00:17:57.31\00:18:00.31
wasn't the right one's for me.
00:18:00.34\00:18:01.68
So I had to learn that, okay,
00:18:01.71\00:18:03.85
this is not it, you
know what I'm saying?
00:18:03.88\00:18:05.41
But due to I may
be a better person
00:18:05.45\00:18:07.55
as a women, as a
mother, and as being a wife
00:18:07.58\00:18:10.45
if I ever, ever, ever
chose to get married again.
00:18:10.49\00:18:12.99
But it built me
instead of destroying me.
00:18:13.02\00:18:16.73
Okay. Praise the Lord.
00:18:16.76\00:18:19.16
Now you mentioned you
were in women shelter.
00:18:19.19\00:18:21.66
First, how long you
were in that women shelter?
00:18:21.70\00:18:24.57
And what was your experience
like being in the shelter?
00:18:24.60\00:18:27.74
When I went into
that women shelter,
00:18:27.77\00:18:29.17
it was just like,
00:18:29.20\00:18:30.54
okay, we can
tell a lot from here
00:18:30.57\00:18:33.98
and this is me
and my children here,
00:18:34.01\00:18:35.88
something ain't right.
00:18:35.91\00:18:37.25
You know what I'm saying? Okay.
00:18:37.28\00:18:39.51
How many children
did u have this point?
00:18:39.55\00:18:41.38
I have my boys, three
boys. Okay, three boys. Okay.
00:18:41.42\00:18:43.55
This was with my first husband.
00:18:43.59\00:18:45.79
And so it was just
like this is not it,
00:18:45.82\00:18:49.79
you know what I'm saying.
00:18:49.82\00:18:51.16
I refused to sit there
and have my children, my boys.
00:18:51.19\00:18:53.53
Okay.
00:18:53.56\00:18:54.90
Being in a situation
00:18:54.93\00:18:56.26
to where they would
actually turn out this way,
00:18:56.30\00:18:57.63
you know what I'm saying.
00:18:57.67\00:18:59.00
So I used my
situation to teach to him
00:18:59.03\00:19:01.87
how to be a better man.
00:19:01.90\00:19:03.24
Okay.
00:19:03.27\00:19:04.61
Because, you know, I couldn't
do it in no other kind of way.
00:19:04.64\00:19:06.81
I didn't want them to just,
00:19:06.84\00:19:08.18
I didn't want to
show up them for nothing,
00:19:08.21\00:19:09.54
you know what I'm saying.
00:19:09.58\00:19:10.91
I need to them know, look,
this is what really goes on
00:19:10.95\00:19:12.28
you know what I'm saying.
00:19:12.31\00:19:13.65
When they ask me questions,
00:19:13.68\00:19:15.02
Momma, this, Momma, that.
00:19:15.05\00:19:16.38
You know I'm
giving straight answers
00:19:16.42\00:19:17.75
because they need to know.
00:19:17.79\00:19:19.12
You know what I'm saying.
00:19:19.15\00:19:20.49
And having to
raise them up by myself,
00:19:20.52\00:19:21.86
you know what I'm
saying, it was even more helpful
00:19:21.89\00:19:23.39
because they learned from me.
00:19:23.43\00:19:25.33
I loved how they
paid attention to it,
00:19:25.36\00:19:27.00
and you know what I'm saying?
00:19:27.03\00:19:28.36
And how they
grasped the fact that
00:19:28.40\00:19:30.63
"Okay, Momma don't
want me to be like this.
00:19:30.67\00:19:33.94
These are my mistakes,
00:19:33.97\00:19:35.44
I have to learn
from my mistakes.
00:19:35.47\00:19:36.81
But I need for you
all not to be this way."
00:19:36.84\00:19:38.97
You know what I'm saying.
00:19:39.01\00:19:40.34
You're all God's children,
00:19:40.38\00:19:41.71
when I had my
children, I gave them to Him.
00:19:41.74\00:19:43.08
Lord, these are you
kids, I need your help.
00:19:43.11\00:19:45.01
You know what I'm saying.
00:19:45.05\00:19:46.38
And He did, He helped me them.
00:19:46.41\00:19:48.08
Kept them constructive,
kept them into organizations,
00:19:48.12\00:19:51.35
going on trips, they
went to a more places
00:19:51.39\00:19:52.79
that I can never
imagine, you know.
00:19:52.82\00:19:54.26
Praise the Lord.
00:19:54.29\00:19:55.62
So they had a great
time growing up, you know.
00:19:55.66\00:19:58.53
How difficult was it,
00:19:58.56\00:20:00.50
as a young female,
raising three boys?
00:20:00.53\00:20:04.60
I mean, you know, it's difficult
00:20:04.63\00:20:06.40
because you are a
woman, they are boys,
00:20:06.43\00:20:08.07
and trying to
teach them how to be men.
00:20:08.10\00:20:09.94
Right. How difficult was that?
00:20:09.97\00:20:12.81
It wasn't difficult. Okay.
00:20:12.84\00:20:14.74
It was fun. Great.
00:20:14.78\00:20:16.11
Because not only...
00:20:16.14\00:20:17.75
I didn't have a childhood. Okay.
00:20:17.78\00:20:19.68
So I was able to
embrace the rest of my childhood
00:20:19.71\00:20:22.48
watching them grow.
00:20:22.52\00:20:23.85
Okay.
00:20:23.89\00:20:25.22
But also I knew how I
didn't want to be raised.
00:20:25.25\00:20:28.92
And I knew I heard my
momma suffer how I was raised.
00:20:28.96\00:20:30.93
Okay.
00:20:30.96\00:20:32.29
So it helped me to raise them
00:20:32.33\00:20:34.26
the way I didn't
wanted to be raised
00:20:34.30\00:20:35.76
or I should have been raised.
00:20:35.80\00:20:37.13
You know what I'm saying.
00:20:37.17\00:20:38.50
And so in the aspect of that,
it wasn't difficult at all,
00:20:38.53\00:20:44.14
it was fun, you know,
00:20:44.17\00:20:45.77
they gave me some hard,
they gave me little hard times.
00:20:45.81\00:20:48.01
But it wasn't something to were,
00:20:48.04\00:20:49.38
you know, I pull up
my hair or, oh, God.
00:20:49.41\00:20:51.71
You know what I'm saying.
00:20:51.75\00:20:53.08
But due to me raising them,
00:20:53.11\00:20:55.98
it was just like,
you know, that was fun.
00:20:56.02\00:20:58.12
Okay.
00:20:58.15\00:20:59.49
One of them was funny and silly,
00:20:59.52\00:21:00.86
the other ones, he is serious
00:21:00.89\00:21:02.22
but he could be funny sometimes,
00:21:02.26\00:21:03.59
and the other one, he
is quiet, and serious,
00:21:03.63\00:21:05.29
and he can be funny sometimes.
00:21:05.33\00:21:07.46
All of them my
care to raise somehow,
00:21:07.50\00:21:08.96
you know what I'm saying.
00:21:09.00\00:21:10.33
But each one of them was
their own individual person.
00:21:10.37\00:21:12.23
Okay.
00:21:12.27\00:21:13.60
Now you mentioned
00:21:13.64\00:21:15.60
to the two people
that you are married,
00:21:15.64\00:21:17.47
married to, that you were
choosing the wrong person.
00:21:17.51\00:21:22.14
And today, you know,
a lot of young females,
00:21:22.18\00:21:25.08
they may say, "Wow, I
want this, this tall guy,"
00:21:25.11\00:21:27.18
you know, they don't want
the one that "is a square,
00:21:27.22\00:21:30.59
making good grades in
school, and things like that".
00:21:30.62\00:21:33.32
Why do you think you
were choosing the wrong guy
00:21:33.36\00:21:35.66
in this two individual?
00:21:35.69\00:21:37.03
Well, actually they
weren't like the thug type.
00:21:37.06\00:21:40.16
They went to school, they
graduate from high school,
00:21:40.20\00:21:42.50
they, you know,
used to play sports.
00:21:42.53\00:21:43.90
They did those things
00:21:43.93\00:21:45.27
but the aspect of what
they choose to do was on them.
00:21:45.30\00:21:49.77
Okay.
00:21:49.80\00:21:51.14
But so it wasn't like, you know,
00:21:51.17\00:21:53.71
it didn't turn on
like that with me.
00:21:53.74\00:21:55.48
But as far as like, you know,
00:21:55.51\00:21:57.31
I didn't pray about
what I needed at that time.
00:21:57.35\00:22:00.22
Just basically acting. Yeah.
00:22:00.25\00:22:01.95
And so then thinking that,
00:22:01.98\00:22:03.65
okay, well, this is it,
you know what I'm saying.
00:22:03.69\00:22:05.79
But then when God told me
why you didn't ask me for this.
00:22:05.82\00:22:08.66
Okay. You know what I'm saying?
00:22:08.69\00:22:10.06
That's what made me
understand them more better.
00:22:10.09\00:22:13.33
'Cause when you try
for what you ask for,
00:22:13.36\00:22:14.90
that's what you get what
you need is that what you want.
00:22:14.93\00:22:16.83
You know what I'm
saying. Oh, yeah. Yes, indeed.
00:22:16.87\00:22:18.20
Yes, indeed.
00:22:18.23\00:22:19.57
Now let's transition
a little closer to now.
00:22:19.60\00:22:21.80
You didn't grow up
00:22:21.84\00:22:23.17
in the
Seventh-day Adventist Church.
00:22:23.20\00:22:24.91
What was your
religious background?
00:22:24.94\00:22:26.27
Baptist. Baptist.
00:22:26.31\00:22:27.64
Okay, how did you
become or how did you come
00:22:27.68\00:22:31.08
into the
Seventh-day Adventist Church?
00:22:31.11\00:22:32.61
Talk about that
whole the situation.
00:22:32.65\00:22:33.98
Wow. It's actually so exciting.
00:22:34.02\00:22:36.35
Praise the Lord.
00:22:36.38\00:22:38.29
After I got out of my
divorce from my last divorce,
00:22:38.32\00:22:42.29
I winded up losing,
leaving my home, my car,
00:22:42.32\00:22:45.39
I winded up getting stolen,
you know what I'm saying.
00:22:45.43\00:22:47.50
I wind up leaving my job.
00:22:47.53\00:22:48.86
I pretty much
has left everything.
00:22:48.90\00:22:50.23
'Cause I wasn't even
in the Huntsville area
00:22:50.27\00:22:52.07
at the time I
was somewhere else.
00:22:52.10\00:22:53.44
Okay.
00:22:53.47\00:22:54.80
And I've been going
for like six, seven years.
00:22:54.84\00:22:56.87
And the church that I was
in at the time before that,
00:22:56.91\00:23:00.61
you know, what I'm saying,
00:23:00.64\00:23:01.98
there was lot
going on in the church.
00:23:02.01\00:23:03.38
And I am like okay, and I
kept hearing the Lord saying
00:23:03.41\00:23:05.11
you're worshiping the wrong God.
00:23:05.15\00:23:06.82
And so I turned to god and said,
00:23:06.85\00:23:09.55
"Well, Lord,
put me where exactly
00:23:09.58\00:23:11.82
where I need to be."
00:23:11.85\00:23:13.25
And so I've
never been to revival,
00:23:13.29\00:23:15.52
every time I want
to go through revival,
00:23:15.56\00:23:17.73
I always had to
work on something.
00:23:17.76\00:23:19.46
And so I was like God.
00:23:19.49\00:23:21.03
But people used to
always come in and tell me,
00:23:21.06\00:23:22.53
"Well, you know,
we had a great time,
00:23:22.56\00:23:24.23
and you know what
was the sermon about,"
00:23:24.27\00:23:25.60
you know what I'm saying?
00:23:25.63\00:23:26.97
And stuff like that
and they used to always
00:23:27.00\00:23:28.34
keep me
informed with everything.
00:23:28.37\00:23:29.70
But I've never been.
00:23:29.74\00:23:31.07
So when I got back to
00:23:31.11\00:23:32.44
Huntsville
Oakwood Adventist Church
00:23:32.47\00:23:34.51
had a revival going on.
00:23:34.54\00:23:36.11
Okay.
00:23:36.14\00:23:37.48
And that was the first revival
I ever got a chance to make.
00:23:37.51\00:23:39.81
Was that you're first
time in an Adventist church?
00:23:39.85\00:23:41.98
That's the
first time ever. Okay.
00:23:42.02\00:23:43.55
And so I went the first
day, went the second day,
00:23:43.59\00:23:47.06
the third day, I went
every day that they had.
00:23:47.09\00:23:48.86
Praise the Lord.
00:23:48.89\00:23:50.23
And Pastor Bard
00:23:50.26\00:23:54.03
gave me the word
exactly how I needed it.
00:23:54.06\00:23:56.16
Yeah, okay. You
know, and I asked the Lord.
00:23:56.20\00:23:59.13
"Lord, please just
give me the truth I needed,
00:23:59.17\00:24:02.04
I am asking you for this,
00:24:02.07\00:24:03.61
you know what
I'm saying, for me."
00:24:03.64\00:24:05.14
So my children can be saved,
00:24:05.17\00:24:06.94
you know what I am
saying, we need to know.
00:24:06.98\00:24:08.31
Okay.
00:24:08.34\00:24:09.68
And due to all the
things that I have been through,
00:24:09.71\00:24:11.95
you know, I knew God
wasn't through me yet,
00:24:11.98\00:24:14.32
but I wanted to be
exactly where I need be
00:24:14.35\00:24:16.75
and I was tired of
going from church to church,
00:24:16.79\00:24:18.99
I was tired of, you
know what I am saying,
00:24:19.02\00:24:20.36
something wasn't right.
00:24:20.39\00:24:21.72
Yeah, okay.
00:24:21.76\00:24:23.09
And so when he broke
it down to me for real,
00:24:23.12\00:24:25.49
my daughter was
sitting there with me
00:24:25.53\00:24:26.86
and she is like,
"Mama, do you just say that?
00:24:26.90\00:24:31.97
You mean to tell me
00:24:32.00\00:24:33.34
that we been worshiping
God on the wrong day."
00:24:33.37\00:24:35.14
I said, yes, baby.
00:24:35.17\00:24:36.50
And we were angry,
you know what I am saying.
00:24:36.54\00:24:38.87
And so we hear Pastor Bard say,
"Well, if you wanna be baptized
00:24:38.91\00:24:43.55
just write it down
on a piece of paper."
00:24:43.58\00:24:44.91
Me and her, I don't know
00:24:44.95\00:24:46.28
if we were the
first ones writing,
00:24:46.31\00:24:47.65
but, you know,
00:24:47.68\00:24:49.02
my daughter actually
said "Mama, can we do this?"
00:24:49.05\00:24:50.39
I said, yes, we can.
00:24:50.42\00:24:51.75
And right when she
asked Pastor Bert said,
00:24:51.79\00:24:54.32
"You know you
can be reborn again."
00:24:54.36\00:24:56.09
You know what I'm saying?
00:24:56.12\00:24:57.46
And so to us
00:24:57.49\00:24:58.83
we were coming to the truest
form of worship with Lord,
00:24:58.86\00:25:02.20
you know what I am saying?
00:25:02.23\00:25:03.57
Never knew about Sabbath at all,
00:25:03.60\00:25:04.93
never knew about
anything about Sabbath.
00:25:04.97\00:25:09.00
I always went to
church with my aunts
00:25:09.04\00:25:11.24
and my grandparents
and stuff like that.
00:25:11.27\00:25:13.64
And I had that's
the only where I knew.
00:25:13.68\00:25:16.75
But then when I
came to the truth of it,
00:25:16.78\00:25:18.25
you know what I am saying,
00:25:18.28\00:25:19.61
it actually put me
where I wanted to be.
00:25:19.65\00:25:20.98
And I am like okay.
00:25:21.02\00:25:22.35
Then I heard the Lord
say, "You're home now."
00:25:22.38\00:25:23.72
Oh, wow, wow.
00:25:23.75\00:25:25.09
So we got
baptized on the same day.
00:25:25.12\00:25:27.86
And my daughter and I.
00:25:27.89\00:25:30.66
Actually it was on
the day my father died.
00:25:30.69\00:25:32.03
Okay.
00:25:32.06\00:25:33.40
And so that really
meant the world to me,
00:25:33.43\00:25:35.10
you know what I'm saying?
00:25:35.13\00:25:36.46
And ever since we got
baptized and we've been there,
00:25:36.50\00:25:39.93
God has just opened
up another side of me
00:25:39.97\00:25:43.67
that I did not know was there.
00:25:43.71\00:25:45.04
You know what I am saying?
00:25:45.07\00:25:46.41
And due to him
helping me with it,
00:25:46.44\00:25:49.21
it's like every
day when I go to,
00:25:49.24\00:25:50.58
every time I go to
Sabbath and prayer meetings,
00:25:50.61\00:25:53.58
I am actually getting
confirmed every time I go.
00:25:53.62\00:25:55.78
Oh, yeah, praise
the lord. You know.
00:25:55.82\00:25:57.32
Oh, Lord, thank you, Jesus.
00:25:57.35\00:25:58.69
You know, so I am
excited about going
00:25:58.72\00:26:00.52
because it's like
it was food for me,
00:26:00.56\00:26:02.59
I was hungry,
and I wanted to eat.
00:26:02.62\00:26:04.69
You know what I am saying? Okay.
00:26:04.73\00:26:06.06
But I wanted to
eat the right things
00:26:06.09\00:26:07.43
instead of wrong thing.
00:26:07.46\00:26:08.80
Talk briefly about how
in about 30 seconds or so,
00:26:08.83\00:26:12.13
how the Sabbath
has helped you overcome
00:26:12.17\00:26:14.64
many obstacles in your
life and help heal you.
00:26:14.67\00:26:17.67
The Sabbath
helped me to overcome
00:26:17.71\00:26:19.34
a lot of obstacles in my life
00:26:19.37\00:26:20.78
by confirming to me
that I was still with God,
00:26:20.81\00:26:24.95
I was just in the wrong area.
00:26:24.98\00:26:26.31
Yeah. You know what I am saying?
00:26:26.35\00:26:27.68
And the healing
of it all was that
00:26:27.72\00:26:32.55
just to confirm to me that,
00:26:32.59\00:26:34.06
"Okay, now you're
in the truest form
00:26:34.09\00:26:36.06
of worshiping
with me and for me,"
00:26:36.09\00:26:38.39
you know what I am saying.
00:26:38.43\00:26:39.76
And it just
changed me completely.
00:26:39.79\00:26:42.66
It was like the closed
circle that was open, you now.
00:26:42.70\00:26:45.87
I need the circle closed,
you know what I'm saying,
00:26:45.90\00:26:47.50
and it was like just, "Lord,
please just help me with this."
00:26:47.54\00:26:50.41
Yeah. I need
your help, you know.
00:26:50.44\00:26:51.77
Okay.
00:26:51.81\00:26:53.14
And when I came into
Sabbath Seventh-day SDA,
00:26:53.17\00:26:56.68
it was just like, okay,
I am where I need to be,
00:26:56.71\00:26:58.35
I am little fine now.
00:26:58.38\00:26:59.71
Praise the Lord.
00:26:59.75\00:27:01.08
Now I want you to
look into the camera
00:27:01.12\00:27:02.45
and I want you to talk
to the young female briefly,
00:27:02.48\00:27:04.95
that is in your
situation even now,
00:27:04.99\00:27:07.49
and that needs a way out,
00:27:07.52\00:27:09.22
give them a word
of encouragement.
00:27:09.26\00:27:11.79
My word of
encouragement to anyone
00:27:11.83\00:27:13.40
that's going through anything
00:27:13.43\00:27:14.76
that's going on in
their life, especially,
00:27:14.80\00:27:16.63
how I had it, remind
yourself to keep praying,
00:27:16.67\00:27:20.50
remind yourself that God
loves you more than anything,
00:27:20.54\00:27:23.14
and He will bring you through
just the same way he did me.
00:27:23.17\00:27:25.61
He could do the
same thing for you.
00:27:25.64\00:27:27.34
But you have to trust him in it.
00:27:27.38\00:27:28.81
You know, let Him be
your father, understand.
00:27:28.84\00:27:31.05
When I say that He raised me,
00:27:31.08\00:27:32.88
He legitimately raised
me, but just trust him.
00:27:32.91\00:27:36.42
Just because the things that
you're going through right now,
00:27:36.45\00:27:38.75
these are, just look at
it as a lesson to learn,
00:27:38.79\00:27:41.26
to build you and
to be someone better
00:27:41.29\00:27:43.12
than what you already are.
00:27:43.16\00:27:44.66
And know that no matter
what, you're just special to He.
00:27:44.69\00:27:48.46
You know what I am saying?
00:27:48.50\00:27:49.83
The reason why we suffer is
because you're special to He.
00:27:49.86\00:27:52.20
You know what I am saying?
00:27:52.23\00:27:53.57
God went through
tremendous things
00:27:53.60\00:27:55.07
about how he
wanted to worship his God
00:27:55.10\00:27:58.14
and he wanted to make sure
that he did what he had to do.
00:27:58.17\00:28:01.38
So just trust
Him, and keep praying,
00:28:01.41\00:28:03.51
and just stay in the word.
00:28:03.55\00:28:05.21
Just stay in the word.
00:28:05.25\00:28:06.58
Praise the
lord, praise the Lord.
00:28:06.61\00:28:07.95
Thank you so much, Amanda,
for being on the program.
00:28:07.98\00:28:09.52
Thank you for tuning in
00:28:09.55\00:28:10.89
into another exciting
episode of The New Journey.
00:28:10.92\00:28:12.99