The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome to The New Journey,
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a program about real life people
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with real life testimonies
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doing real life
ministry for Jesus Christ.
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I'm your host,
Pastor Marquis John.
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Join us on The New Journey.
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In the Bible, many
of the Bible characters
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struggle with
all manner of things.
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David killing a
man to take his wife,
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Abraham, polygamy,
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but uniquely we find that
Noah struggled with drunkenness.
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On today's show we have someone
who has not only struggled,
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but by the
grace and power of God
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has overcome alcoholism.
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Thank you for being
with us today, Darren.
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How are you doing? I'm
doing well, how about you.
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Mr. Darren
Cumberbatch, how are you?
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I'm doing well, Pastor John.
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Good, good, good.
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I want to get right
into your upbringing
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and tell us a little bit
about your family history
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and your interfacing if
you will with the church?
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My family, I was born in Guyana.
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We came over in
the 80s to New York
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and my aunt and
my grandmother...
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Well, aunt
first, Sandra Sam was,
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she became Seventh-day Adventist
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and eventually my grandmother,
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and it trickled in to
the rest of the family
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but for the most part we were
brought up with a religious...
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Religious background.
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So your aunty became Adventist,
your grandma became Adventist
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but what about
your side of the family?
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Your mom because
Sister Sam is your aunty
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through your father
or through your mother?
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My mom. Through your mom.
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So did your family
also embrace Adventism?
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Your mom and your siblings,
did you guys embrace Adventism?
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No, no.
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Unfortunately, my
mom was a single parent
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so in New York at the time,
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she had to work two jobs.
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So we were too busy basically.
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And so basically
what you're saying is,
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so a good portion of
the family becomes Adventist
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but your side of the family,
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your mom, she doesn't embrace it
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and so you guys
kind of grow up just,
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you know, moving
through the streets
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the way brothers
move through the streets,
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so tell us
about your growing up,
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mom, single parent, working,
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are you spending a
lot of time by yourself?
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Tell us about that?
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Well, my aunt and
my grandmother lived
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actually right
across the street from us,
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so because my mom
was at work all the time,
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I would go back and
forth across the street.
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So I knew about them being,
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I can't say the word
Seventh-day Adventist
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but I knew that they
did something different.
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I just knew that, you
know, they couldn't eat this,
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they couldn't do that
and I used to sit there
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and be like,
"Why I can't do that?
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I can do this," you know,
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and so I knew
something was always different.
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So we just...
That's what I know.
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Okay, so you are
noticing a difference between
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your family and
your aunt's family,
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but now you're
growing up where, in Brooklyn?
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Were you in
Brooklyn? Yes, Brooklyn.
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So you're in Brooklyn.
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Tell us about young Darren
in the streets of Brooklyn.
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Mom is single,
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even though aunty and
grandma live across the street,
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tell us about what
you're getting into in life
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for you in Brooklyn?
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My mom was so busy.
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I'm in the street and that's it.
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Stole from my mom's
purse every chance I got,
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went to the corner store,
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Puerto Rican store
playing video games,
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just running around.
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Whenever I got
suspended from school
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whatever like that they
will call my grandmother
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and she will come and
rescue me from church...
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I mean, I'm sorry, from school.
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She would come and
rescue me from school
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and wait till my mom come in
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and then the
hammer will come down.
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Hammer will come
down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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That's basically it.
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So tell us about your
introduction to alcohol.
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When did you
first start drinking?
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When were you
introduced to alcohol?
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I didn't have my
first drink until about 13.
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Well, let me
backtrack real quick.
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I was getting in so
much trouble in New York
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that my mother could not
take care of me to the point,
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not necessarily financially,
but she was at work,
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I was in too much trouble.
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I had an incident at school
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where my best friend's
girlfriend and her friend
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followed us home from school,
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just playing around,
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and she pulled out a
little kitchen knife,
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a little two or three inch knife
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and was, you know,
playing around jokingly
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and chasing us
back, you know, home,
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so, of course, Darren being
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the very smart
intelligent brother that he is,
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I decided to bring
my mom's meat cleaver
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in my book bag to
school the next day.
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So she was going to play,
so I was going to play too.
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That incident, I got caught
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and got suspended for
about two three weeks,
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so I'm like actually,
either I was like nine,
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eight or nine at the time,
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so that was like the last
straw but there was many straws,
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you know, there was
many straw before that,
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so my mom sent
me down to Georgia
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to live with my uncle.
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Okay.
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This is her brother
or your dad's brother?
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Her brother. Okay.
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My father was
never in the picture.
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Never in the picture.
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I didn't meet
him until I was 23.
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Okay, so you get in trouble
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for bringing a meat
cleaver to the school.
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Okay, so again,
let's paint the picture.
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You and your family
come over from Guyana.
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Part of your family embraces
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the Seventh-day
Adventist message
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but your mom because
of her busy work schedule,
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she doesn't
embrace this message.
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She doesn't begin to practice
or doesn't practice Adventism,
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so you grow up recognizing
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there is a difference
between you and your cousins
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and so forth and so on
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and it wasn't such a
big deal to you initially
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but now you're in
school and mom is not around,
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so you're getting
into a little trouble,
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the climactic moment
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is you taking a
meat cleaver to school,
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although in jest,
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nonetheless taking a
meat cleaver to school,
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this is found out, boom,
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kicked out of
school for three weeks,
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mom says, okay,
enough is enough,
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I can't handle you,
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I'm sending you to
Atlanta with your uncle.
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Pick up the story from there?
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So while I'm down
there, it gets even...
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My mind at the time,
of course, like I said
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I hadn't seen
my father until 23,
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but now I'm away from my mom,
so now I'm really angry now.
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I'm upset. Okay.
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When I say I'm
upset, I'm to the point
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where I will go
to a birthday party
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and walk in, and if
I don't like the cake,
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I'm throwing the
cake on the floor.
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At anybody,
random birthday party.
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It didn't matter. It
didn't matter who it is.
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This is not
exaggeration, this is who I was.
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So tell me about that party.
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So somebody invites
you to a birthday party.
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You're in Atlanta,
you're living with the uncle.
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Someone invites you
over to a birthday party,
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you walk in and the first thing
you do is turn over the cake
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or somebody said
something that you didn't like?
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I didn't like the situation.
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They had a mom, they had a dad.
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I'm all here by
myself so it was chaos.
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That was, I mean I'm
speaking presently of my past...
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Yeah, in
hindsight, yeah, yeah, right.
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You understand so.
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So just any little
thing could set you off
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and in this particular instance
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seeing what was
the picture-perfect
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or ideal family
just didn't gel well,
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didn't sit well with you.
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No, no, no.
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When the holidays came
around and stuff like that,
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I had to, I would get,
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you know, I was
still blessed to get stuff
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through the mail
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but, you know, at the same time
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I'm getting
stuff through the mail,
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and folks are upset about
their parents not behind them
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these Jordans or
that, and I'm like...
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I didn't even see my parents.
I didn't even see my parents.
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I don't know my dad
and I don't see my mom.
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Yes, so it was a situation
where I was just in trouble
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just to be in trouble,
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like I didn't
like peace and quiet
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like it was just reckless.
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Right.
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So okay, so now
you're a young kid,
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you're angry,
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your mom is in New York,
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you're now in
Atlanta with your uncle,
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no one can really control you,
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so again you were walking us
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through your
introduction to alcohol?
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Okay, so while I'm in Atlanta,
00:08:48.49\00:08:51.09
again, I'm from the islands,
00:08:51.13\00:08:53.36
and we would have
parties all the time.
00:08:53.40\00:08:55.90
So our parents
would, uncles and aunts
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would have massive
amount of friends come over,
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so I had my
first drink around 13.
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Thirteen.
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Sneaking down the
stairs to sneak a wine cooler,
00:09:07.11\00:09:08.78
covert mission, black ops,
00:09:08.81\00:09:11.35
steal one of
those bottles with James
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and come back and open
it and take two, three sips.
00:09:13.31\00:09:15.88
Not drunk, not
kind of that nature
00:09:15.92\00:09:17.55
but it did make the
stomach a little wheezy
00:09:17.59\00:09:19.85
but that was my
first taste of alcohol.
00:09:19.89\00:09:23.76
Not necessarily for a feeling
00:09:23.79\00:09:25.59
but that's just
what, you know...
00:09:25.63\00:09:27.23
So again acting on this
rebellious nature is like,
00:09:27.26\00:09:32.07
okay I want to do something,
00:09:32.10\00:09:33.54
I'm going to sneak
down and get a wine cooler.
00:09:33.57\00:09:35.54
And so you began
sneaking quite often
00:09:35.57\00:09:38.17
to get wine coolers?
00:09:38.21\00:09:40.44
Yeah. Whenever
there was a party.
00:09:40.48\00:09:45.11
For me, I ended up
to speed up the process,
00:09:45.15\00:09:48.88
I ended up graduating
from high school at 16.
00:09:48.92\00:09:52.62
Okay.
00:09:52.65\00:09:53.99
So were you drinking
heavily from 13 to 16
00:09:54.02\00:09:57.69
or you were just
again occasional sneaker
00:09:57.73\00:10:00.20
whenever it was available?
00:10:00.23\00:10:01.56
It was the occasional. Okay.
00:10:01.60\00:10:02.93
But I'm about to
bring it to the story.
00:10:02.96\00:10:04.57
Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
00:10:04.60\00:10:05.93
So it was just
regular, I would say
00:10:05.97\00:10:09.17
in the category of what kids do,
00:10:09.20\00:10:11.07
sneaking when their
parents aren't looking,
00:10:11.11\00:10:13.34
get a cookie, you
know, they didn't see it.
00:10:13.38\00:10:15.31
Except your
cookie was a wine cooler.
00:10:15.34\00:10:16.75
Yes, So when I graduated at 16
00:10:16.78\00:10:20.68
and I got engaged at 17.
00:10:20.72\00:10:24.65
So I'm on my own. Okay.
00:10:24.69\00:10:26.02
Still in Atlanta
00:10:26.05\00:10:27.39
and my mom is still in New York.
00:10:27.42\00:10:28.76
Still haven't seen my father.
00:10:28.79\00:10:31.39
And I'm engaged at 17,
00:10:31.43\00:10:32.99
so I'm working, of
course, drinking...
00:10:33.03\00:10:39.20
Hennessy.
00:10:39.23\00:10:40.70
So you've graduated to
stronger and harder drinks.
00:10:40.74\00:10:43.04
Yes, I'm not
even old enough to buy
00:10:43.07\00:10:46.78
but, you know,
because our family
00:10:46.81\00:10:48.84
just kept alcohol
around all the time,
00:10:48.88\00:10:50.68
so I'm an adult now.
00:10:50.71\00:10:54.42
Now, for clarification.
00:10:54.45\00:10:55.78
This is your uncle in Atlanta
who also was not Adventist?
00:10:55.82\00:11:00.02
Not at the
time. Not at the time.
00:11:00.06\00:11:01.49
Okay, so 'cause I
just wanted to clarify
00:11:01.52\00:11:03.26
because you
already has pointed out
00:11:03.29\00:11:04.63
that part of your
family is Adventist
00:11:04.66\00:11:06.33
and then as you said,
well, the family always had it,
00:11:06.36\00:11:08.40
this is not the
Adventist section,
00:11:08.43\00:11:09.80
this is the non-Adventist
section of your family
00:11:09.83\00:11:11.83
that is making
alcohol accessible to you.
00:11:11.87\00:11:14.70
Yeah, but they
still believed in God
00:11:14.74\00:11:18.97
but wasn't
necessarily Adventist.
00:11:19.01\00:11:22.88
You know, but of
course, being so young,
00:11:22.91\00:11:24.55
you just did
what your parents did.
00:11:24.58\00:11:25.91
They say, if it was time to
go to church you go to church.
00:11:25.95\00:11:27.65
Whatever day it was.
00:11:27.68\00:11:29.02
Yeah, of course, you don't
know what, why, and who so...
00:11:29.05\00:11:31.55
Right, right, right.
00:11:31.59\00:11:32.92
But again, I'm on my own now 17,
00:11:32.95\00:11:34.79
so of course, grown man,
engaged, having a beer...
00:11:34.82\00:11:40.03
Not even a beer now.
00:11:40.06\00:11:41.70
I'm drinking Hennessy,
you know, stuff like that.
00:11:41.73\00:11:45.73
Speeding up the process,
00:11:45.77\00:11:47.64
we ended up
getting married at 19.
00:11:47.67\00:11:50.27
Okay.
00:11:50.31\00:11:51.64
How I ended up
graduating to beer
00:11:51.67\00:11:55.98
was at my bachelor party
00:11:56.01\00:11:59.51
which I'm 19, I'm still
not old enough to drink.
00:11:59.55\00:12:02.25
Right.
00:12:02.28\00:12:03.62
Still not old enough to drink,
00:12:03.65\00:12:04.99
still not old
enough to purchase,
00:12:05.02\00:12:06.35
but you've already moved
00:12:06.39\00:12:07.72
from wine coolers
to stronger things
00:12:07.76\00:12:10.36
and here's the
introduction to beer.
00:12:10.39\00:12:12.29
Yes.
00:12:12.33\00:12:13.66
My bachelor party
was at a strip club.
00:12:13.70\00:12:16.80
So after partying for a while
00:12:16.83\00:12:19.27
we ran out of
money for the Hennessey
00:12:19.30\00:12:21.70
so I never did like beer.
00:12:21.74\00:12:24.24
So I didn't care,
I just wanted a beer.
00:12:24.27\00:12:26.61
So once I had the taste
of beer in that environment,
00:12:26.64\00:12:29.68
I loved it...
00:12:29.71\00:12:31.05
And that was that.
00:12:31.08\00:12:32.91
So that set into
motion a chain of events
00:12:32.95\00:12:35.02
to where you began to
frequent these type of clubs
00:12:35.05\00:12:39.22
and indulge in drinking beer.
00:12:39.25\00:12:42.56
Oh, yeah. Okay.
00:12:42.59\00:12:43.93
It was cheaper than
Hennessey. Okay. Of course.
00:12:43.96\00:12:45.53
It was cheaper than Hennessey,
so it isn't about love,
00:12:45.56\00:12:47.70
but it was definitely
cheaper than Hennessey.
00:12:47.73\00:12:50.10
Okay, so now
you're 19 years old.
00:12:50.13\00:12:52.97
You are drinking...
00:12:53.00\00:12:54.57
you've been introduced to beer.
00:12:54.60\00:12:55.97
How many beers a day
would you say you were drinking?
00:12:56.00\00:12:59.74
At that time,
00:12:59.77\00:13:02.04
I would say may be a six-pack.
00:13:02.08\00:13:06.82
A six-pack a day at 19?
00:13:06.85\00:13:09.65
I mean at that time
you have to understand
00:13:09.68\00:13:11.52
it's regular life to me.
00:13:11.55\00:13:14.16
You understand, so it was like
00:13:14.19\00:13:15.52
if someone may have a
couple of bottles of water
00:13:15.56\00:13:17.76
throughout the day,
00:13:17.79\00:13:19.13
you know, it's just,
you know, it was regular.
00:13:19.16\00:13:20.96
In my mind, it was you
went to work, you came home...
00:13:21.00\00:13:24.70
You had a beer. There
was a beer. That was it.
00:13:24.73\00:13:27.54
And it's almost
like honestly, Darren,
00:13:27.57\00:13:29.04
I mean to kind of
defend that mindset,
00:13:29.07\00:13:33.17
it's what America promotes.
00:13:33.21\00:13:35.24
When you sit down and watch TV,
00:13:35.28\00:13:36.78
I mean, you're getting
bombarded with all manner,
00:13:36.81\00:13:39.68
you know, all
different brands of alcohol
00:13:39.71\00:13:42.85
and more specifically beer.
00:13:42.88\00:13:44.35
I mean if it's a
football game, what do you do?
00:13:44.39\00:13:46.86
You go and get a Miller.
00:13:46.89\00:13:48.22
You know, I
mean, it's Miller time
00:13:48.26\00:13:49.59
and it's things like that
00:13:49.62\00:13:50.96
and so in American
society as you pointed out,
00:13:50.99\00:13:53.09
it's not that
this is some big deal,
00:13:53.13\00:13:54.96
this is just what you do.
00:13:55.00\00:13:56.53
This is a part of being an adult
00:13:56.56\00:13:58.77
and hanging out with friends.
00:13:58.80\00:14:00.14
You crack open a cold one. Yes.
00:14:00.17\00:14:02.94
That's exactly what it was.
00:14:02.97\00:14:04.31
So then what I want to ask is
00:14:04.34\00:14:06.11
so that is what America promotes
00:14:06.14\00:14:09.04
but when did you realize,
00:14:09.08\00:14:10.98
or did you realize that
you had progressed so far
00:14:11.01\00:14:13.95
that now it was
causing trouble in your life?
00:14:13.98\00:14:16.45
Your desire to drink was
now causing some trouble...
00:14:16.48\00:14:21.32
I mean, 19, you're married.
00:14:21.36\00:14:23.02
You're married at this point.
00:14:23.06\00:14:24.39
Is the alcohol causing
trouble in your life at all?
00:14:24.43\00:14:28.46
Looking back, it was.
00:14:28.50\00:14:31.03
But at the time
this is normal. Right.
00:14:31.07\00:14:33.77
Again, this is normal.
00:14:33.80\00:14:35.14
I'm 19, I'm
married now, I'm a father.
00:14:35.17\00:14:40.31
A father and you're
drinking a six-pack a day.
00:14:40.34\00:14:42.61
Drinking a six-pack.
00:14:42.64\00:14:43.98
Things got really drastic
00:14:44.01\00:14:46.51
when I found out that I
was going to have a child.
00:14:46.55\00:14:50.79
My mentality changed.
00:14:50.82\00:14:52.55
And this is a key, right?
00:14:52.59\00:14:54.29
This is the key component.
00:14:54.32\00:14:56.36
At the sheer thought
00:14:56.39\00:14:57.96
of the
responsibility quite possibly,
00:14:57.99\00:15:00.33
I don't know if you've
ever looked at it this way,
00:15:00.36\00:15:01.90
that your father,
00:15:01.93\00:15:04.37
the
responsibility that he shirked,
00:15:04.40\00:15:06.30
you approached and realized
this may be your responsibility
00:15:06.33\00:15:09.10
that caused you to reach out
for some way to deal with this.
00:15:09.14\00:15:13.17
Oh, of course, of course.
00:15:13.21\00:15:16.64
My mentality
growing up as a teenager
00:15:16.68\00:15:19.35
was even if I had a
child with a ugly person,
00:15:19.38\00:15:24.72
I was never
going to leave my child
00:15:24.75\00:15:27.36
because of what my father did.
00:15:27.39\00:15:31.29
Here I'm 19,
married, I have a child at 19,
00:15:31.33\00:15:35.90
my whole mentality changed.
00:15:35.93\00:15:37.27
Okay, how did it change?
00:15:37.30\00:15:38.63
It changed with... It got real.
00:15:38.67\00:15:40.44
Okay.
00:15:40.47\00:15:41.97
It really got real.
00:15:42.00\00:15:43.34
It was, you know,
diapers and daycare
00:15:43.37\00:15:45.37
is not something to play with.
00:15:45.41\00:15:47.81
You know, while
others aspire for Mercedes,
00:15:47.84\00:15:49.98
you're paying $600,
$700, $800 for daycare,
00:15:50.01\00:15:54.02
you know, and
again at 19 years old...
00:15:54.05\00:15:57.32
Again at that time
it still seemed normal.
00:15:57.35\00:16:00.26
It still seemed normal.
00:16:00.29\00:16:02.42
Again but, so my
drinking was still to me
00:16:02.46\00:16:05.06
on a normal pace.
00:16:05.09\00:16:06.49
And tell me what is normal
drinking for you at this point?
00:16:06.53\00:16:09.40
Normal drinking
again is a six-pack.
00:16:09.43\00:16:11.33
You know, Hennessy, it's...
00:16:11.37\00:16:13.77
You can't go
anywhere without drinking.
00:16:13.80\00:16:16.81
This is regular.
00:16:16.84\00:16:18.44
You know, this is regular.
00:16:18.47\00:16:19.97
So progressing in a
few, after being with my...
00:16:20.01\00:16:24.91
I was engaged
for about two years.
00:16:24.95\00:16:26.78
I got engaged at
17, got married at 19,
00:16:26.82\00:16:29.15
had my first child at 19.
00:16:29.18\00:16:33.15
Six months later,
I move out, right?
00:16:33.19\00:16:37.53
Our relationship, as soon
as we got married, it got ugly.
00:16:37.56\00:16:39.49
Why?
00:16:39.53\00:16:41.36
Or better yet, I
want to kind of guide you,
00:16:41.40\00:16:44.53
did the drinking have
anything to do with it?
00:16:44.57\00:16:47.24
Again, at the time
it didn't seem much.
00:16:47.27\00:16:48.94
At the time it
didn't but looking back...?
00:16:48.97\00:16:51.04
Looking back,
there were some decisions
00:16:51.07\00:16:52.87
that definitely could
have been made differently.
00:16:52.91\00:16:56.71
There were a lot of things.
00:16:56.75\00:16:58.08
Okay, so now, a young
kid comes into the States
00:16:58.11\00:17:01.48
with his
parents, with his family,
00:17:01.52\00:17:03.79
with his mother, single mother,
00:17:03.82\00:17:05.59
living in New York,
gets out of control,
00:17:05.62\00:17:07.16
mom can't handle him,
sends him down to Atlanta,
00:17:07.19\00:17:10.16
he begins to sneak
and grab a wine cooler
00:17:10.19\00:17:12.36
whenever that's a viable option,
00:17:12.39\00:17:15.30
and then he
graduates school at 16,
00:17:15.33\00:17:17.87
progresses from wine
coolers, to the strongest of...
00:17:17.90\00:17:22.34
To drinking a six-pack a day,
00:17:22.37\00:17:24.11
19, he's married, he has a baby,
00:17:24.14\00:17:27.04
and the alcohol problem,
00:17:27.08\00:17:29.58
which you don't
see as a problem then
00:17:29.61\00:17:31.31
is contributing to some
issues in this marriage,
00:17:31.35\00:17:34.22
and I'm sure there are
a lot of periphery things
00:17:34.25\00:17:35.78
that are also
contributing you guys
00:17:35.82\00:17:37.29
are youth and inexperience,
00:17:37.32\00:17:39.05
the responsibilities
now, and so you move out
00:17:39.09\00:17:42.42
and what happens
when you move out?
00:17:42.46\00:17:44.43
Oh, man.
00:17:44.46\00:17:46.63
I got wild.
00:17:46.66\00:17:49.30
'Cause I want to
clarify and unpack
00:17:49.33\00:17:51.53
why because like you've said,
wine cooler is a six-pack a day
00:17:51.57\00:17:55.34
and maybe a fifth or
so of Hennessy a day,
00:17:55.37\00:17:57.14
that's not wild,
00:17:57.17\00:17:58.51
so tell us what was wild
now that you've moved out.
00:17:58.54\00:18:00.58
Oh, man.
00:18:00.61\00:18:01.94
When I moved out it was,
all we had in the fridge,
00:18:01.98\00:18:05.11
my cousin and I, we
got our own apartment,
00:18:05.15\00:18:07.98
Ramen noodles and
beer. That was all.
00:18:08.02\00:18:10.05
Ketchup and maybe a
cup of packets of mustard,
00:18:10.09\00:18:12.45
that was it.
00:18:12.49\00:18:14.16
Different girl every day.
00:18:14.19\00:18:16.62
And you're still married?
00:18:16.66\00:18:18.46
Technically, yes.
00:18:18.49\00:18:19.83
Yes, there is no technically.
00:18:19.86\00:18:21.33
You haven't divorced yet.
00:18:21.36\00:18:23.13
So you're
married, you're drinking,
00:18:23.16\00:18:25.70
I mean, and I now remember,
00:18:25.73\00:18:27.40
I remember that phase in my life
00:18:27.44\00:18:29.27
where it was just
popular at one point
00:18:29.30\00:18:31.34
to drink a 40-ounce.
00:18:31.37\00:18:32.84
You wasn't hanging out
00:18:32.87\00:18:34.24
unless you was on the
street with a 40 in your hand.
00:18:34.28\00:18:37.41
And then it really got bad.
00:18:37.45\00:18:38.98
When it really got
bad was when they came out
00:18:39.01\00:18:43.89
and this was
probably, I don't even know,
00:18:43.92\00:18:46.15
when they came out with the 22,
00:18:46.19\00:18:48.76
and you can go and
get one for like a dollar?
00:18:48.79\00:18:50.39
That's the baby.
00:18:50.43\00:18:51.76
And it was like we
don't realize at that time
00:18:51.79\00:18:54.23
how America is
fostering alcoholism.
00:18:54.26\00:18:57.53
Of course.
00:18:57.57\00:18:58.90
So now you're out on your own,
00:18:58.93\00:19:01.14
I mean, all you're eating
00:19:01.17\00:19:02.50
is Ramen noodles
and drinking beer.
00:19:02.54\00:19:04.04
That's breakfast,
that's lunch, that's dinner
00:19:04.07\00:19:06.61
and so now, of
course, the strip clubs
00:19:06.64\00:19:10.51
probably became
more frequent here?
00:19:10.55\00:19:12.01
Of course.
00:19:12.05\00:19:13.38
You have women even
though you're married,
00:19:13.42\00:19:14.75
you're having
illicit affairs with women
00:19:14.78\00:19:17.42
and so when does or did alcohol
00:19:17.45\00:19:22.12
and your problem bring you
into conflict with the law?
00:19:22.16\00:19:24.96
Not until...
00:19:28.20\00:19:30.70
Now this is like 1999...
00:19:30.73\00:19:34.07
Not until...
00:19:34.10\00:19:35.64
I got my first DUI in 2007.
00:19:35.67\00:19:39.91
So again, this is just normal.
00:19:39.94\00:19:42.98
What I would consume
would probably kill somebody
00:19:43.01\00:19:48.88
but to me this is
just normal here, okay?
00:19:48.92\00:19:53.72
So the first time I got...
00:19:53.76\00:19:55.79
That was when I got arrested
but there was a lot of things
00:19:55.82\00:19:58.13
that happened
before then per se.
00:19:58.16\00:20:01.66
Yes, like you
said, had some affairs
00:20:01.70\00:20:05.20
while I was still married,
00:20:05.23\00:20:06.57
didn't technically
get divorced until 2003.
00:20:06.60\00:20:09.50
I had some trauma...
00:20:13.54\00:20:16.01
Her mom had got
sick and we actually...
00:20:16.04\00:20:20.12
I was actually there in the room
00:20:20.15\00:20:21.52
when her mom passed away,
00:20:21.55\00:20:23.05
took her last breath.
00:20:23.08\00:20:24.42
And I'm sure and I
want to accelerate this
00:20:24.45\00:20:27.49
and I'm sure that caused
the drinking to accelerate.
00:20:27.52\00:20:30.93
Oh, that caused the drinking
to accelerate drastically.
00:20:30.96\00:20:34.70
So about how old
were you in 2000...
00:20:34.73\00:20:38.23
When you get the
divorce, how old are you?
00:20:38.27\00:20:40.04
I'm probably
twenty-two. Twenty-two.
00:20:40.07\00:20:44.14
So you married at
19, divorced at 22?
00:20:44.17\00:20:46.04
Yeah. How many kids?
00:20:46.07\00:20:47.78
At this point two.
00:20:47.81\00:20:49.14
Two kids.
00:20:49.18\00:20:50.51
Twenty-two, married, divorced,
00:20:50.55\00:20:53.11
two kids, drinking heavily,
00:20:53.15\00:20:57.19
what I want to ask now is
00:20:57.22\00:21:00.02
when does or when
do you start to...
00:21:00.06\00:21:04.36
you know, in 2007
you said you got a DUI.
00:21:04.39\00:21:05.99
Yes.
00:21:06.03\00:21:07.36
Okay, when do you
start thinking or crying
00:21:07.40\00:21:10.83
or hearing God
say anything to you?
00:21:10.87\00:21:13.57
When I got my
second DUI. Second DUI.
00:21:19.34\00:21:22.91
I got my second DUI two
months after I got my first one.
00:21:22.94\00:21:26.95
Mercy.
00:21:26.98\00:21:28.32
So I had my
first one July 4, 2007,
00:21:28.35\00:21:34.19
I had my second one September...
00:21:34.22\00:21:36.62
Labor Day 2007.
00:21:36.66\00:21:39.33
So that was when I
realized that I had a problem...
00:21:39.36\00:21:45.43
Not even to say I had a problem.
00:21:45.47\00:21:47.10
I just was like well, I'm not
going out on holidays anymore.
00:21:47.14\00:21:50.34
So I just stayed in
the house and was drinking.
00:21:50.37\00:21:53.17
So when you decided after
you received the second DUI
00:21:53.21\00:21:57.25
when God begins to speak to you,
00:21:57.28\00:21:58.61
how do you act on what
you're hearing from God?
00:21:58.65\00:22:01.72
What is it, do you
reach out to someone,
00:22:01.75\00:22:03.62
did someone reach out to you?
00:22:03.65\00:22:05.12
Give me a series of events
00:22:05.15\00:22:06.49
that led you to
reaching out to God
00:22:06.52\00:22:09.62
or allowing God to
reach in to you if you will?
00:22:09.66\00:22:13.33
As far as with the
alcohol, to be honest,
00:22:13.36\00:22:16.93
none of that happened
00:22:16.97\00:22:18.30
until about 2010
00:22:18.33\00:22:24.94
but I always told
myself I was going to stop.
00:22:24.97\00:22:28.34
Okay. I had made a list.
00:22:28.38\00:22:29.91
We had made a list of,
you know, things you do by 30?
00:22:29.94\00:22:32.51
And stop drinking
was on my list by 30.
00:22:32.55\00:22:35.78
Because I knew I did
drink, so that was on my list,
00:22:35.82\00:22:40.56
but again, had a
whole bunch of events
00:22:40.59\00:22:42.16
that happened before then.
00:22:42.19\00:22:43.79
I ended up getting back
married to the same woman again.
00:22:43.83\00:22:47.63
That right there
graduated to a gallon of alcohol
00:22:47.66\00:22:52.37
like every day and a half now.
00:22:52.40\00:22:53.94
So because I
don't want to be married
00:22:53.97\00:22:56.27
but I had these kids so...
00:22:56.30\00:22:57.91
Right, and so you're
trying to do the right thing
00:22:57.94\00:22:59.27
because you made the decision
00:22:59.31\00:23:00.64
that you
wouldn't leave your kids.
00:23:00.68\00:23:02.01
Okay, Darren, so
2010, I want you to...
00:23:02.04\00:23:07.02
because I know
that one of your cousins
00:23:07.05\00:23:09.02
was instrumental
00:23:09.05\00:23:10.39
in reaching out
to you spiritually,
00:23:10.42\00:23:13.25
tell us about that?
00:23:13.29\00:23:14.62
Okay.
00:23:14.66\00:23:15.99
So with that
situation, before we get there,
00:23:16.02\00:23:19.59
just a couple of seconds here.
00:23:19.63\00:23:21.40
What was instrumental was
00:23:21.43\00:23:23.16
I was so broken inside
00:23:23.20\00:23:28.04
in my drunken stupors,
I would still pray to God
00:23:28.07\00:23:31.67
and I just
started asking Him for,
00:23:31.71\00:23:36.01
again in my mind at the time
00:23:36.04\00:23:37.88
I was like, I can't do
this without the right female,
00:23:37.91\00:23:41.32
I cannot, like because of how
I grew up, I wanted a family.
00:23:41.35\00:23:45.39
I honestly like, you
know, I had to have one,
00:23:45.42\00:23:50.63
and I met my current wife now
00:23:50.66\00:23:53.36
and she was heaven sent,
00:23:53.40\00:23:55.56
so this is how the path starts
00:23:55.60\00:23:56.93
before we even get
to what my cousin did,
00:23:56.97\00:24:00.27
met her, three weeks
later we got married,
00:24:00.30\00:24:02.80
I wouldn't suggest you do that.
00:24:02.84\00:24:04.21
Okay.
00:24:04.24\00:24:05.57
I wouldn't
suggest anybody do that.
00:24:05.61\00:24:06.94
But what happened was I
told her exactly who I was.
00:24:06.98\00:24:09.68
Right.
00:24:09.71\00:24:11.05
At this point that's why I said
2007 was very important to me
00:24:11.08\00:24:12.81
because I was
honest with myself.
00:24:12.85\00:24:16.58
So I'm like,
hey, I'm an alcoholic,
00:24:16.62\00:24:19.02
I'm a pornographer,
00:24:19.05\00:24:20.99
I do this, I do that, I go
to the strip club, you know,
00:24:21.02\00:24:24.13
but I'm going to stop.
00:24:24.16\00:24:26.53
I don't know when
00:24:26.56\00:24:27.90
but, you know, if you
take me like this we're good.
00:24:27.93\00:24:30.97
So we got married
00:24:31.00\00:24:32.77
and we went through
our regular struggle
00:24:32.80\00:24:37.81
and my cousin calls, he's like,
00:24:37.84\00:24:40.08
you know, I got
this prayer line,
00:24:40.11\00:24:41.91
get on this prayer line,
00:24:41.94\00:24:43.28
it's like 6:30 in the morning.
00:24:43.31\00:24:44.65
I'm like, "Dude, I'm not
trying to hear a prayer line
00:24:44.68\00:24:46.45
at 6:30 in the morning."
00:24:46.48\00:24:47.88
Very well knowing that I'm
up at 6 o'clock in the morning
00:24:47.92\00:24:51.85
because there is a
beer that I fell asleep
00:24:51.89\00:24:54.22
that's right near my bed
00:24:54.26\00:24:55.59
so I'm waking up
to finish the drink.
00:24:55.62\00:24:58.03
So I'm making up every excuse
00:24:58.06\00:25:00.70
and what happened was
I got so drunk one night
00:25:00.73\00:25:04.17
I forgot my phone
outside of the house
00:25:04.20\00:25:06.70
and I woke up and
couldn't find my phone,
00:25:06.74\00:25:10.14
went outside,
00:25:10.17\00:25:11.51
and I got my phone, it was dead,
00:25:11.54\00:25:12.87
I charged it up
and I had a voicemail.
00:25:12.91\00:25:14.58
I'm like, who is
leaving me a voicemail
00:25:14.61\00:25:16.51
at 6 o'clock in the morning,
00:25:16.54\00:25:18.31
so I checked my voicemail
00:25:18.35\00:25:19.68
and then all of a
sudden I hear these voices.
00:25:19.71\00:25:22.42
And when you hear it
00:25:22.45\00:25:23.89
they are like in the
middle of conversation
00:25:23.92\00:25:25.69
and I have no
idea who this voice is.
00:25:25.72\00:25:27.82
And as I'm listening
00:25:27.86\00:25:30.09
I realized that
they were praying
00:25:30.13\00:25:31.96
and then I hear my name.
00:25:31.99\00:25:33.50
So now I'm like
really intrigued.
00:25:33.53\00:25:35.23
I keep reminding
now I'm still drunk.
00:25:35.26\00:25:37.03
I woke up drunk.
00:25:37.07\00:25:38.40
So I'm just like,
yeah, what's going on.
00:25:38.43\00:25:40.00
And then I hear
my cousin's voice,
00:25:40.04\00:25:41.57
so I'm like "Do they know
that there are voicemail?"
00:25:41.60\00:25:45.81
You know, I'm like
okay, so what are they doing?
00:25:45.84\00:25:48.74
So you're
listening to a voicemail?
00:25:48.78\00:25:50.75
I'm listening,
they called my phone,
00:25:50.78\00:25:53.88
they called my phone...
00:25:53.92\00:25:55.35
Left this message.
00:25:55.38\00:25:56.72
And while on the prayer line,
00:25:56.75\00:25:59.22
they just
started praying for me.
00:25:59.25\00:26:00.76
Wow. Right?
00:26:00.79\00:26:02.12
So I'm like, I got
this beer in my hand
00:26:02.16\00:26:03.79
and I'm looking
at the phone like
00:26:03.83\00:26:05.99
do they know their own voicemail
00:26:06.03\00:26:07.36
and I'm like, so I'm listening
00:26:07.40\00:26:09.13
and the voice who I was hearing
00:26:09.16\00:26:10.50
praying for me was Anderson
00:26:10.53\00:26:14.14
and I didn't even
know who this guy was
00:26:14.17\00:26:17.01
but then I heard
my cousin's voice.
00:26:17.04\00:26:19.27
So after that I was
like you know, what?
00:26:19.31\00:26:21.54
Let me just go ahead
and get on this prayer line.
00:26:21.58\00:26:23.11
That's it. This is crazy.
00:26:23.14\00:26:24.48
It blew my mind
00:26:24.51\00:26:25.85
because I'm
hearing someone praying
00:26:25.88\00:26:27.68
then I hear praying for me.
00:26:27.72\00:26:30.05
So I started
getting on the prayer line
00:26:30.09\00:26:32.02
and I still got
my beer on my hand,
00:26:32.05\00:26:34.92
I'm getting up,
the next thing I know
00:26:34.96\00:26:36.59
like one day,
00:26:36.62\00:26:38.33
like the next
day or two days later
00:26:38.36\00:26:40.53
I had my beer in my
hand and they were talking
00:26:40.56\00:26:44.07
and then they just
say something that hit me.
00:26:44.10\00:26:46.33
I can't even
remember what it was
00:26:46.37\00:26:47.87
but it just
related so much to life.
00:26:47.90\00:26:51.07
I want to kind of
move this story ahead so,
00:26:51.11\00:26:54.58
you make a decision to get clean
00:26:54.61\00:26:56.81
and the trail of events,
00:26:56.85\00:26:59.58
new wife who
accepts you as you are
00:26:59.61\00:27:02.12
but wants you to be better,
00:27:02.15\00:27:03.72
a cousin, a prayer
line, and eventually baptism.
00:27:03.75\00:27:07.52
Now, this is probably
not the usual journey.
00:27:07.56\00:27:10.66
This is something
completely different
00:27:10.69\00:27:12.03
but what I want
you to do right now is
00:27:12.06\00:27:13.40
I want you to take
about the next 30 seconds,
00:27:13.43\00:27:15.03
I want you to
look into this camera
00:27:15.06\00:27:16.40
and I want you
to talk to someone
00:27:16.43\00:27:17.77
who may think that
alcoholism is a way of life,
00:27:17.80\00:27:19.83
who may think it's okay
to drink a gallon of vodka
00:27:19.87\00:27:23.07
and I want you to
talk to that person
00:27:23.10\00:27:25.44
as though you're
talking to Darren.
00:27:25.47\00:27:28.88
This Darren is
talking to that Darren.
00:27:28.91\00:27:31.98
What I would say to myself
00:27:32.01\00:27:34.48
or whoever is
struggling with alcoholism
00:27:34.52\00:27:36.02
or anything of that nature
00:27:36.05\00:27:37.89
is to think past your nose.
00:27:37.92\00:27:41.36
By yourself I mean,
sit down and write down
00:27:41.39\00:27:45.06
what you want on one side
00:27:45.09\00:27:47.10
and write down what you're doing
00:27:47.13\00:27:48.96
and look at it
00:27:49.00\00:27:50.63
and see if what you're
doing as up to what you want.
00:27:50.67\00:27:55.50
And you're going to be
very surprised with that
00:27:55.54\00:27:58.07
because when you look at it
00:27:58.11\00:27:59.44
you're going to see
that you've tried everything,
00:27:59.47\00:28:03.28
you've done
everything except for one thing
00:28:03.31\00:28:05.68
and that is you have
not tried God at all.
00:28:05.71\00:28:08.88
And that's what I did.
00:28:08.92\00:28:12.12
I literally sat
down and I wrote down
00:28:12.15\00:28:14.46
every place I've been
00:28:14.49\00:28:15.96
whatever I did
00:28:15.99\00:28:17.33
and I realized the only
thing I did not do was try God.
00:28:17.36\00:28:20.83
Amen.
00:28:20.86\00:28:22.20
Darren, thank you so much.
00:28:22.23\00:28:23.97
I just want the viewers to know
00:28:24.00\00:28:26.67
that you have
not sunk to the point
00:28:26.70\00:28:30.07
that God cannot
reach and save you
00:28:30.11\00:28:33.24
and even take
you from alcoholism
00:28:33.27\00:28:36.28
on to a new journey.
00:28:36.31\00:28:37.81
Thank you for being with us.
00:28:37.85\00:28:39.25
God bless you.
00:28:39.28\00:28:40.62