Participants: Pr. Marquis Johns (Host), Adam Snodgrass
Series Code: TNJ
Program Code: TNJ000018
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00:10 Welcome to the New Journey, a program about real life people
00:14 with real life testimonies doing real life ministry for Jesus 00:17 Christ. I'm your host, Pastor Marquis Johns. Join us on the 00:21 New Journey. ¤ ¤ 00:54 Could you imagine having everything that you have taken 00:58 from you because of decisions that you've made. Christ 01:02 promises us that he will restore the things that we've lost and 01:06 today we have in the studio a young man who we're praying that 01:10 God will restore those things to. Adam Snodgrass, how are you 01:14 doing today? Good, how are you? 01:15 Good, fantastic. Now what I want to do is first and foremost ask 01:19 you tell us who you are and then tell us where you're from. 01:26 My name is Adam Snodgrass. I'm from Frankfurt, Indiana. I'm 33 01:32 years old. I'm a drug addict, reformed, used drugs for a long 01:38 time. But I would say I'm a new person now. 01:42 Amen. New creature in Christ. 01:44 I'm definitely a new creature. 01:46 Amen. OK, so now. Young man, Indiana, you've grown up. 01:49 Any siblings? Yeah, I have an twin sister, an 01:52 older brother and a younger sister. 01:53 OK, OK. So you grow up in a home with a twin sister, Mom and Dad 01:58 both in the home? Uh-huh. So you turn eventually to a life 02:02 of drugs and alcohol. Tell us about that. I mean because 02:07 statistically they tell us that when you grow up with both 02:11 parents... Well they were divorced right 02:15 before I was a teenager. 02:17 OK, right before you were a teenager. So tell us about the 02:18 journey into a life of drugs and violence and so forth, tell us 02:23 about that. Ahh, Honestly, I mean, I've 02:27 thought about it and thought about it and tried to pinpoint 02:31 where it all started. You know it kind of boggles me really 02:36 just seems like my whole life I was always into never really 02:39 thinking about the consequences of my actions or anything like 02:44 that and just always ready to try anything. I guess through 02:48 living like that and not having the... 03:03 What we're basically saying is you don't know where this started. 03:06 Not really. I mean I know where my major addiction started with 03:09 heroin. That was in Fort Wayne when I became a professional 03:11 tattoo artist. OK, well tell us about that. 03:14 Is the tattoo industry... I mean I'm terrified of needles, 03:19 absolutely terrified. I remember trying to get a tattoo, right 03:25 with the motor, you know those. It was just so terrifying for 03:28 me that people typically when I tell them well I have this 03:32 sordid past, they say well where are you tattoos. I say well 03:37 I'm afraid of needles. So are those lifestyles linked in any 03:41 way, the heroin. Well I mean sometimes, not 03:43 always as a rule. I mean you always make your own decisions. 03:46 There are people, like I say, for the tattoo industry it's not 03:51 like hand in hand. But there are some places you know where drugs 03:56 are involved. Fortunately or unfortunately I happened to 04:01 land in one of those spots. 04:02 So tell us, you're in Fort Wayne how old are you? 04:04 I was 22. So you were in Fort Wayne, 04:07 you're 22 years old. Tell us about what happens that leads 04:12 a 22-year-old young man into a life of heroin addiction? 04:16 Like I said in the you know in the beginning I was always, I 04:19 don't know if you want to call it open minded or whatever, but 04:22 I was always willing to try anything ever since I drank a 04:27 beer or felt some sort of a mind-altering buzz or whatever, 04:31 it seemed like a liked it. You know, I walked into a room one 04:35 day and there was a guy doing it and I asked him if I could 04:39 try it. So I tried it and it stole my life. Just one time 04:46 and it just snowballed. 04:50 The way I understand it and from my days, in the African 04:52 American Community crack is a huge epidemic; it has been for a 04:57 while. But in the south I know that the African Americans have 05:01 been exposed to heroin and from my understanding this is the 05:06 most addictive drug. It is typically referred to as the 05:09 monkey on your back that you can't get off. So walk us 05:13 through a life of a heroin addict. You're 33 now, when did 05:17 you get clean? I got clean last year. 05:19 OK, last year so that's close to 10 years of heroin addiction. 05:24 Walk us through that journey man. 05:26 Of being a heroin addict? 05:28 Yeah, I mean because you've got to understand. Let me tell you 05:32 I've done cocaine, I've done LSD I've done mushrooms, I've done 05:37 marijuana, you know, those things, but because of my fear 05:40 of needles... I've even snorted, done cocaine, but because of my fear 05:43 of needles heroin in any of its forms was just like terrifying 05:49 to me. It's taboo to a lot of people 05:50 even if they do other drugs. 05:51 OK, so now walk us through that. 05:53 Well I guess being a heroin addict, you know, before you're 05:57 an addict you try it. I have an addictive personality. I do 06:03 everything extremely, good or bad. Once I tasted the heroin 06:09 as a drug it becomes attached to your DNA. So after so many 06:15 times of using it when your body starts to withdraw from it, when 06:18 the effects of the drugs to away you get flu-like symptoms. You 06:22 become achy and ill and you throw up and you can't eat and 06:26 it controls you. You'll do anything for it because you know 06:31 that your wellness, your feeling better, what you think is 06:36 feeling better is you know $50 away or whatever. So you just 06:41 do anything for it. Nothing matters but that. Then it 06:44 matters. Whatever your responsibilities are in the day 06:48 whatever it is. Literally there was a point in time where if I 06:51 didn't wake up with $100 in my pocket I couldn't eat breakfast. 06:56 So I mean it controls you. It takes everything away from you. 07:00 You know that's the only thing that's first and foremost in 07:04 your life. So here we have this young man, 07:06 Indiana-born, 22 years of age, gets hooked on heroin, living 07:12 the lifestyle of a tattoo artist heroin addict. How were you 07:18 able to function socially or were you able to? 07:22 Coming full circle now I've talked to people that knew me 07:27 then and know me now and they say that I was a completely 07:32 different person. Through my eyes I was able to function 07:37 socially because if I was sick, off of dope, if I didn't have 07:40 drugs, I was completely antisocial, mood swings very 07:45 like an emotional rollercoaster but as soon as I got the drug 07:49 it like brings a calm. So that's how I functioned socially was 07:56 to make sure that I always had drugs. I feel like I've always 08:01 been a leader, you know, I can talk, I can speak, so I use 08:07 those gifts which are gifts that I have and I harnessed them into 08:14 evil and into negativity. So I was always to get whatever I 08:19 wanted. So people knew that I was high and if it might have 08:24 been somebody else they probably wouldn't have accepted it but I 08:29 sell you a dream even when I'm on this stuff, so I would just 08:34 make people comfortable with myself, at least I thought. 08:38 So heroin addiction, does this lead to a life of violence, a 08:42 life of crime. It leads to whatever it takes to 08:45 get the drug. So what did it take for you to 08:48 get the drug that landed you quite possibly in jail? 08:54 Theft, deception, losing face, no respect, I mean, just 09:01 absolutely like I say it's a juggernaut. That drug is the 09:08 devil himself. It's an epidemic now. There's so much going on 09:13 with that drug in the United States right now it's ridiculous 09:20 At 33, I'm looking back, 22 to 33, how were relationships? 09:25 Did you have any relationships in that period of time? 09:30 Yes I had relationships. You mean like a significant other? 09:32 Yes, of course. Yeah, I was with a girl for like 09:35 10 years. We had five kids together. Ultimately in the end 09:41 we lost every single one of them 09:43 OK, and when you say we lost them did you lose them to her? 09:46 Was she also an addict? Yeah, she was also an addict. 09:50 So you lost them to the system? 09:52 To the state. How do you feel about that? 09:54 Well. I mean, that's tough man, that's tough to think about, my 10:04 addiction has caused me to forfeit the ability to be a 10:07 father to my children. Not just oh I can't see them some. 10:11 They are now wards of the state I'm assuming? 10:13 They've been adopted away for about four years. 10:16 How are you coping with that? Now, in your sobriety, as you 10:20 think back on this, how are you feeling about this? 10:22 In my sobriety? I feel terrible. I have a lot of regrets, um I 10:31 miss them. I would do anything to get them back. 10:32 You know, I pray a lot. Honestly in the height of my addiction 10:43 you know I never advocate suicide but there were times 10:49 for a long period of time that I would as soon swallowed a 10:53 shotgun barrel than face the day. So heroin keeps you so numb 10:58 I think when I hit bottom was then. 11:06 So during the addiction what was your relationship like with 11:10 their mother and your kids? 11:17 Horrible. It was completely turmoil, it was chaos, it was 11:26 violent you know. We're better off without each other in that 11:35 state. So you lose the kids, and I'm 11:44 painting the picture because I need the audience, I need those 11:46 of the viewers and even for myself to really get a full 11:48 understanding of what's happening here. A young man, 11:52 in Indiana, becomes a tattoo artist, leads to heroin 11:56 addiction, falls in love, obviously with a young lady, 12:02 produces a number of children, and the relationship is so 12:06 violent and so topsy turvy because of the addiction that 12:10 both of you guys share it compromises your ability to 12:14 raise this family. One hundred percent. 12:19 So that's who you are. That's who I was. 12:23 That's who you were, absolutely that's where you've been. How 12:28 did you get here to one year of sobriety. I mean, because... 12:33 Again the mythology around or what we know who don't 12:39 understand the life style of the heroin addict, from my 12:44 understanding it's impossible almost to break that addiction. 12:49 Yeah. A lot of people that know me that are actual drug users 12:53 themselves, when you're on that drug you don't want to be like 12:59 that. I quit it. I don't do it. And everybody that knows that 13:05 they're like man if you can quit I can quit. I have done nothing 13:11 to quit drugs. I gave it to God, man and he took it away from me. 13:17 So I want you to walk us through to how you got here, not 13:22 physically locationwise, but how you got here mentally, 13:28 emotionally clean. How did that happen? Tell us what happened. 13:33 Well I was in my hometown you know it had been years since I'd 13:38 been with the other woman that I was talking about and my wife 13:48 now before we were married, we were still using. One day she 13:55 said I love you but I can't be like this. She has a daughter 14:03 who is my daughter. She walked away and she said I'm going to 14:08 get clean and if you want to be with me then you'll do the same 14:13 thing. And I wanted to be clean for a long time and I love her 14:19 with everything that I am and it was worth it to me. It sounds so 14:25 bad and not saying it wasn't worth it to get clean then just 14:29 to not have my other children taken because it was worth it 14:33 then. I was just so blinded by the drugs you know. If I had to 14:36 do it all over again I would do it differently. But back to the 14:42 point is she left so I knew a guy named Rob Parker who I met 14:47 in prison and I knew that he had turned his life over the Christ. 14:50 We come from the same streets, the same gutter, you know the 14:54 same criminal mind set and he called me and told me that one 14:58 day out of the blue he had turned his life over to Christ. 15:02 We conversed for a few minutes and hung the phone up. I always 15:06 remembered that and that day that my wife just told me that 15:10 she was going to get clean, he was the first person that I 15:14 thought of because I knew that I wouldn't have any other choice 15:18 if I committed myself to do this he would help me. So I called 15:22 him. It was a Wednesday night and it was like 11:30 at night. 15:26 He lives two hours away. He was there in two hours and he picked 15:31 me up and took me to his house. The biggest thing about heroin 15:35 is you're so scared to withdraw off of it. I think a lot of 15:39 people that are hooked on it don't get off of it because it 15:42 hurts, the withdrawal off 15:43 of heroin and it can kill you. I prayed. I know you're not 15:48 supposed to tempt God but the words in my head were God if 15:53 you're real and you want me to serve you and you want me to 15:58 be your son, you know if you can part the seas, if you can 16:02 raise the dead then you can take this life and not let me 16:06 withdraw. And I did it. When I was at his house there was a 16:11 little bit of sweats. I went two or three days without the drug 16:16 and I feel like I do now. To me I chalk that up to nothing short 16:21 of a miracle. I want to go back to something. 16:26 Now what was the longest stint that you've done in prison? 16:28 Three and a half years. 16:29 Three and a half years. This was in the midst of your heroin 16:34 addiction? No I went to prison before I was 16:36 a heroin addict. OK, so before you were. OK, OK. 16:39 Because I was going to ask how does that affect... I remember 16:44 being in jail. You can get almost anything you want. And 16:47 most people don't know that. Most people don't know that. 16:50 Anything that you want you can find; liquor, drugs, I tell you. 16:54 You've got a lot more_. Well great. So we don't have to 17:00 go back there. So then Jessica gets clean. You decide hey I 17:06 want to get clean. We got clean simultaneously in 17:09 separate areas. She went to Kokomo, I went to Bluffton. We 17:14 both got clean, stayed in contact on the phone. I guess 17:18 it's a statistic that couples who are addicts together, they 17:23 try to get clean together have a very high failure rate. You 17:26 trump each other. One person wants to stop, the other one 17:30 doesn't, so the other one feeds into it, vice versa, it just 17:34 doesn't work. So we went out separate ways for about two 17:38 months and we got clean. And then once she felt that she was 17:42 strong enough to come back out and for us to be in proximity 17:46 together, she moved to where I was, we got married and 17:49 here I am. Wow, wow. So go through 17:55 withdrawal, sweats, whatever over by Rob's house. 17:58 Very little withdrawal. 17:59 Very little, that's important. 18:00 I went through withdrawal before and it almost killed me a couple 18:05 times. So that's the reason you 18:07 highlighted this had to have been a miracle. 18:11 I always knew that there was some kind of creator before I 18:15 knew it was Jesus Christ. I'm not so naive to think that 18:20 everybody's just kind of appeared here. I picked up a 18:25 Bible and I started reading it. God showed me he exists. When I 18:32 know that I can withdraw off the drug. I knew how much I was 18:37 doing that there's no way I should have had it that easy 18:42 when I came off of that drug. 18:49 And that's what's blowing me away. I wasn't in your shoes but 18:54 I understand exactly what you're saying. You're saying the shear 18:59 volume that I was doing, the life that I compromised in the 19:02 past, having gone through withdrawal in the past what 19:08 happened on this day was different. I'm sorry, but give 19:12 me a little bit more than outside a little shakes. Walk us 19:16 through that day. OK, so Rob shows up, two hours. And I can 19:19 so relate to that. I had a friend who brought me into the 19:22 faith. I called him. Whenever I would call him, one in the 19:25 morning, three in the morning, four in the morning, he'd get up 19:27 out of his bed. He'd come wherever I was. And so I can 19:30 relate to that. But walk us through. So you're at Rob's 19:33 walk us through that night, that day, walk us through that. 19:36 The night that Jessica decided to go get clean, we were 19:40 actually doing drugs that night. I mean it was within like five 19:44 minutes, she says hey I don't want to do this, I'm leaving. 19:48 This is your ultimatum. And she left. And I love her for that. 19:52 So I'm still high. As soon as she left my side I'm like I 19:59 can't do this, I have to get clean. So I called Rob and he 20:07 came and got me. So on the way to his house I was terrified man 20:10 You know I've never been so scared in my life because I knew 20:14 what was coming, the withdrawal. I didn't know if I was going to 20:18 commit to it. So I get to his house and I'm like kind of 20:22 waiting on the next morning when I wake up is usually when the 20:26 symptoms start, the runny nose, the achiness, you know. I woke 20:29 up with that. I was kind of achy. Didn't really eat so much. 20:35 From the first day he took me to a charity auction at Kingdom 20:41 Academy in Bluffton, Indiana. Just like from day one I was 20:48 around Christians and people that are in faith. I felt kind 20:53 of achy a little bit but nothing compared to the level of 20:59 withdrawal that I thought I was going to go through, that I had 21:06 been through before. So we leave the auction and go to his house. 21:12 I didn't eat for a day and a half or so. Had some cold sweats 21:16 and stuff throughout the nights for maybe three or four days, 21:21 maybe a week or so and then I just woke up and I seemed like 21:26 I was a human being again. 21:29 So what Rob did contributed significantly to your being 21:37 clean? Yeah. Is Rob still around? Yeah. OK. 21:41 He lives in Berne. I live in Bluffton, but it's about 15 21:45 minutes away. So still have contact with each other. We go 21:49 to the same church. Rob introduced me to my employer. 21:53 The first Sunday that I went to church with him he actually 21:57 introduced me to him and Rick my boss, he asked me if I was 22:02 all right to work and I said yes and this was about five months 22:09 or so. I work on a hog farm in the farrow to finish barn. 22:14 That's what I do every day now is go to work and work with the 22:18 hogs. So basically there are a few 22:24 people that have contributed to the new Adam that we see before 22:30 us. One of those is undoubtedly the number one is Jesus Christ. 22:36 For God put Jessica in your life and God put Rob in your 22:40 life. So now here's the segment of the program that this is your 22:45 opportunity to be the Jessica or the Rob for someone out there 22:49 right now struggling with heroin Someone who doesn't feel like 22:54 they can get clean, someone who is afraid of the withdrawals, 22:59 someone who is completely given to that lifestyle. I want you to 23:04 look in the camera over my shoulder and Adam I want you to 23:08 speak to the Adam you once were, the guy who was afraid to get 23:12 clean, the guy that you confessed, if you will, or you 23:17 said that it was worth it, your kids were worth it but you just 23:21 didn't do it, the guy who has two or three kids who won't 23:25 kick the habit. I want you now to speak to that gentleman, 23:29 speak to that lady, speak to the person who is where you were 23:34 18, 19, 24 months ago. Speak to them if you will. 23:38 OK. Well listen to me. I know you're scared and I know that 23:46 this seems impossible feat to overcome but if you put your 23:51 faith in God and you mean it and you want to change He will 23:57 work miracles in your life and you can beat the odds. I didn't 24:03 think I would ever beat them and when I got to know Jesus Christ 24:09 he told me that anything is possible through him and He's 24:14 shown me that daily. 24:16 Adam as I was listening to you talk about Jessica, the one word 24:23 that just jumped out at me was love. The Bible tells us in 24:30 I John 4 that God is love and the bond he was able to forge 24:37 between you and Jessica was what you needed, the tangible reality 24:43 of his love, if you understand what I'm saying. But friend let 24:49 me unpack this. God is love. God is always there, God is there, I 24:54 mean God is there, I think the wise man Solomon says when I make 24:59 my bed in hell He is there. Not that God is in hell but no 25:02 matter how low I sink God is still there for me but there are 25:06 times when we grope in the darkness looking for the 25:10 tangible reality that is God. Sure. And as Jessica turned to 25:17 walk away from you you said Oh my, Oh my, I can't be without 25:24 that love. That love as the Song of Solomon says was stronger 25:30 than the death you felt you would experience if you 25:33 withdrew, if you allowed withdrawal to set in. That love 25:36 was stronger than the yoke of the bondage that you were in to 25:40 heroin. So I'm thinking about Jesus saying in the book of Luke 25:44 I have come to set the captives free. I have come to liberate 25:48 the oppressed, I have come to break the prison houses and you 25:52 are a living testimony that Gad can step into your reality and 25:57 alter it in a moment and in the twinkling of an eye. Because you 26:02 said to us that the way a person kicks heroin, if you will, is 26:07 close to death. You were functional. You maybe didn't 26:12 eat a day and a half or so, but you were functional and you were 26:16 immediately around people and you were social whereas in the 26:22 past you had been antisocial. Were there moments Adam, a high 26:29 moment like hey wait it's been two or three days and I haven't 26:33 used. Tell us about a couple of those moments. 26:37 Yeah, you know it kind of hit me I'd say a couple times when 26:43 maybe not right so at the beginning. You know I had done 26:48 drugs for so long. I think it hits me more so now that 26:54 actually within just the past couple months I think back and 26:59 just think of where I came from and where Jessica has come from 27:04 and where we are now. Sometimes we'll just be walking down the 27:09 street to the store or something and just get to talking and be 27:14 like do you remember when we couldn't even do this; when we 27:19 couldn't even go outside and appreciate the day, when we 27:25 couldn't watch a sunset and magnify in its beauty. Now we 27:30 do that together. I'll speak for myself and her, 27:37 we just fell in love with Jesus 27:39 Christ. And through realizing how much 27:42 you love Jessica it shows you how much you love God and how 27:46 much He loves you and then He invited you and Jessica together 27:51 to walk hand in hand, basking in the sunshine, watching even the 27:56 sunset into a new journey. Brothers and sisters at home 28:00 my heart has been warmed. I pray that yours has. Dare to 28:05 dream. God bless you. |
Revised 2017-02-27