Hello, and welcome
to The Missing Piece,
00:00:34.36\00:00:36.43
my name is Jason Bradley.
00:00:36.46\00:00:37.80
And our primary
host for this program
00:00:37.83\00:00:39.60
is Dr. Nadine Joseph-Collins.
00:00:39.63\00:00:42.04
Nadine enjoys sharing
her experiences of faith
00:00:42.07\00:00:44.67
and answered prayer with others
00:00:44.71\00:00:46.14
with the sole aim of
empowering and inspiring them
00:00:46.17\00:00:50.05
to want to have a
more effective prayer life.
00:00:50.08\00:00:53.05
Before we jump
into today's topic,
00:00:53.08\00:00:55.32
let's have a word of prayer.
00:00:55.35\00:00:57.22
Dear heavenly
Father, we thank You
00:00:57.25\00:00:58.82
for the opportunity we
have to commune with You.
00:00:58.85\00:01:02.89
We ask for Your
presence to be with us.
00:01:02.92\00:01:05.19
We asked for the
presence of the Holy Spirit
00:01:05.23\00:01:07.30
to lead, guide, and
direct our conversation.
00:01:07.33\00:01:10.53
And please help this program
to be a blessing to all those
00:01:10.57\00:01:13.97
who are viewing it.
00:01:14.00\00:01:15.34
In Jesus name we pray, amen.
What is our topic for today?
00:01:15.37\00:01:20.58
Our topic for
today is why God says no?
00:01:20.61\00:01:25.21
I remember I had a
little problem saying no.
00:01:25.25\00:01:28.82
When others
would come to me with
00:01:28.85\00:01:30.49
what they brought to
me as a perceived need,
00:01:30.52\00:01:33.86
it was a little challenging
for me to say no to them.
00:01:33.89\00:01:36.49
And at some
point, at one of my jobs
00:01:36.52\00:01:39.46
we had resident psychologist,
00:01:39.49\00:01:41.16
who was also a very good friend.
00:01:41.20\00:01:43.10
And one day we
had a little session,
00:01:43.13\00:01:45.33
and the whole
aim of that session
00:01:45.37\00:01:46.90
was the help me to learn to say
00:01:46.94\00:01:48.30
these two words effectively, no.
00:01:48.34\00:01:50.94
Later on when I was in college
00:01:50.97\00:01:52.74
one of my colleagues said to me,
00:01:52.77\00:01:54.38
"You know,
Nadine, no is the word
00:01:54.41\00:01:55.84
in the English
vocabulary, you know."
00:01:55.88\00:01:58.55
And so no is a response
that most people dread hearing.
00:01:58.58\00:02:04.29
I would recall in
my own experiences,
00:02:04.32\00:02:06.49
times when I would
have gone to friends
00:02:06.52\00:02:08.76
or present a need to
somebody that I had at the time
00:02:08.79\00:02:13.06
and I would either
get that no response
00:02:13.09\00:02:15.20
or get no response
at all in terms of them
00:02:15.23\00:02:18.10
not saying no,
00:02:18.13\00:02:19.47
but they just not
replying to your requests.
00:02:19.50\00:02:22.17
In either of these cases to
me is the same thing, it's a no.
00:02:22.20\00:02:25.44
And I remember the
hurts and the embarrassment,
00:02:25.47\00:02:27.68
sometimes even
feelings of rejections
00:02:27.71\00:02:29.74
associated with
getting that no response.
00:02:29.78\00:02:33.31
So it is something that
00:02:33.35\00:02:34.92
most people really
do not like to hear.
00:02:34.95\00:02:37.72
But here today, we
are going to be examining
00:02:37.75\00:02:39.62
why God actually
says no to our prayers.
00:02:39.65\00:02:43.46
And because there are
only three recorded instances
00:02:43.49\00:02:46.73
in the Bible
00:02:46.76\00:02:48.40
where God actually
answered no to people.
00:02:48.43\00:02:51.80
So there were like
two in the Old Testament
00:02:51.83\00:02:53.97
and one in the New Testament.
00:02:54.00\00:02:55.34
And the first one is
when David's baby died,
00:02:55.37\00:02:57.41
and that's
recorded in 2 Samuel 12.
00:02:57.44\00:03:00.38
Then we see in 2 Chronicles
28, when David had asked
00:03:00.41\00:03:04.45
God permission
to build the temple.
00:03:04.48\00:03:06.82
And God said to him,
"No, you won't build a temple,
00:03:06.85\00:03:08.98
your son will do it."
00:03:09.02\00:03:10.49
And then in the New Testament,
we see the story of Paul
00:03:10.52\00:03:15.59
requesting for God to
remove that thorn in his flesh.
00:03:15.62\00:03:19.26
Whatever that
thorn was we don't know.
00:03:19.29\00:03:21.26
But in 2 Corinthians 12:8,
00:03:21.30\00:03:23.83
he asked God to
remove the thorn in his flesh
00:03:23.87\00:03:25.60
and God did not remove
the thorn in his flesh.
00:03:25.63\00:03:27.80
So here we are seeing
that the majority of the times,
00:03:27.84\00:03:31.17
God would have answered people,
00:03:31.21\00:03:33.34
that's about 3
times out of 100 times.
00:03:33.38\00:03:36.58
And there we have
seen God answering
00:03:36.61\00:03:38.81
these prayer requests
with a yes most of the time
00:03:38.85\00:03:41.28
because we see these exceptions.
00:03:41.32\00:03:43.55
And so we want to
know, "Hey, how can I get
00:03:43.59\00:03:46.12
a better track
record in my prayer life?
00:03:46.15\00:03:47.69
How can I get a track
record where God answers me,
00:03:47.72\00:03:50.16
you know, with
more yes's than no's?
00:03:50.19\00:03:52.56
But before we
could even get there,
00:03:52.59\00:03:54.30
we need to examine why He
says no in the first place
00:03:54.33\00:03:57.20
and that's what the purpose
of this program is today.
00:03:57.23\00:04:00.00
So in as much as we hate
to be told no when we pray,
00:04:00.04\00:04:03.64
I believe to an
extent that God Himself
00:04:03.67\00:04:06.71
would prefer to
answer us with a yes,
00:04:06.74\00:04:09.81
and we need to see
why we get these no's.
00:04:09.84\00:04:12.38
And when we
look at Matthew 7:11,
00:04:12.41\00:04:15.12
the Bible says, "If
you, then were evil,
00:04:15.15\00:04:17.79
know how to give good
gifts to your children,
00:04:17.82\00:04:20.66
how much more will your Father
00:04:20.69\00:04:22.76
who is in
heaven give good things
00:04:22.79\00:04:24.56
to those who ask of him!"
00:04:24.59\00:04:26.93
So He does not
really like to say
00:04:26.96\00:04:29.20
no to His
children unless of course,
00:04:29.23\00:04:31.73
when He does tell us no,
He knows what's best for us.
00:04:31.77\00:04:34.60
But then why do we have a
track record that is not like
00:04:34.64\00:04:37.94
what we see in the Bible.
00:04:37.97\00:04:39.97
What are we doing "wrong"
or what can we do better.
00:04:40.01\00:04:44.11
These are some of the
things will be examined
00:04:44.15\00:04:46.28
in this program
and future programs.
00:04:46.31\00:04:48.52
So EM Bounds a
prolific writer on prayer,
00:04:48.55\00:04:51.35
he puts it this
way, and I like that,
00:04:51.39\00:04:53.05
he says, "God's willingness
to answer our prayers
00:04:53.09\00:04:56.46
exceeds our
willingness to give good
00:04:56.49\00:04:59.06
and necessary
things to our children,
00:04:59.09\00:05:01.96
just as far as God's ability,
goodness, and perfection
00:05:02.00\00:05:06.00
exceed our
infirmities and evil."
00:05:06.03\00:05:09.27
So we know for sure that
God does not take pleasure
00:05:09.30\00:05:12.17
in a sense to be
telling His children
00:05:12.21\00:05:14.61
no when we present
this request to Him.
00:05:14.64\00:05:16.75
It is His desire
to say yes to us,
00:05:16.78\00:05:19.41
but obviously there is something
00:05:19.45\00:05:20.78
that we are not
doing right in order for us
00:05:20.82\00:05:22.48
to be able to pray in a way
00:05:22.52\00:05:24.25
that will have
Him say yes to us.
00:05:24.29\00:05:26.59
And, you know, when
He says no sometimes like
00:05:26.62\00:05:29.72
you're saying
it's for our benefit.
00:05:29.76\00:05:31.59
like if I say we
pray for the certain car
00:05:31.63\00:05:35.13
like the super fast sports car,
00:05:35.16\00:05:37.90
me personally I
want to Maserati,
00:05:37.93\00:05:40.14
but we pray for this
super fast sports car,
00:05:40.17\00:05:44.37
and God knows
that if we get that car
00:05:44.41\00:05:47.84
we're going to step on that gas
00:05:47.88\00:05:49.58
and put that gas or
accelerator all the way down
00:05:49.61\00:05:54.02
and we might
get into an accident
00:05:54.05\00:05:55.52
and kill ourselves.
00:05:55.55\00:05:57.19
Well, that's not
what He has for us,
00:05:57.22\00:06:01.19
and so He might
say no to that plan.
00:06:01.22\00:06:03.83
Or we might pray for something
00:06:03.86\00:06:06.36
and it might end up leading
us outside of the ark of safety,
00:06:06.39\00:06:11.70
meaning we will be
lost as a result of it.
00:06:11.73\00:06:14.00
We pray for a
couple million dollars,
00:06:14.04\00:06:17.07
and then we lose
our dependence on God,
00:06:17.11\00:06:19.31
and we end up lost.
00:06:19.34\00:06:20.71
So like you're saying He
knows the bigger picture,
00:06:20.74\00:06:23.75
so those no's can be a blessing.
00:06:23.78\00:06:25.31
And that is why we need
to understand the principle
00:06:25.35\00:06:28.02
of why He says no.
00:06:28.05\00:06:29.45
And that's what we're
going to discuss today,
00:06:29.48\00:06:30.82
the principle.
00:06:30.85\00:06:32.19
What is it in
principle that causes God
00:06:32.22\00:06:35.39
to not respond to us in the way
we desire Him to respond to us?
00:06:35.42\00:06:38.76
There's a principle in the Bible
00:06:38.79\00:06:40.13
that we're
going to examine today
00:06:40.16\00:06:41.60
because God presents
Himself as approachable.
00:06:41.63\00:06:45.57
He wants us to feel
comfortable coming to Him.
00:06:45.60\00:06:48.37
And He assures us
no uncertain terms
00:06:48.40\00:06:50.41
that He really want to
answer us when we call.
00:06:50.44\00:06:53.17
And we can look at
that in Matthew 7:7-10,
00:06:53.21\00:06:56.71
you see because
there the Bible says
00:06:56.75\00:06:58.38
from the New Living Translation,
00:06:58.41\00:07:00.18
"Keep on asking,
and you will receive
00:07:00.22\00:07:03.25
what you ask for.
00:07:03.28\00:07:04.62
Keep on seeking,
and you will find.
00:07:04.65\00:07:06.49
Keep on knocking, and the
door will be open to you."
00:07:06.52\00:07:09.12
It goes on to say,
"For everyone who asks,
00:07:09.16\00:07:11.23
receives.
00:07:11.26\00:07:12.79
Everyone who seeks, finds,
and to everyone who knocks,
00:07:12.83\00:07:16.36
the door will be opened.
00:07:16.40\00:07:18.10
You parents, if
your children ask
00:07:18.13\00:07:19.80
for a loaf of bread,
00:07:19.83\00:07:21.17
do you give
them a stone instead.
00:07:21.20\00:07:23.37
Or if they ask for fish,
do you give them a snake."
00:07:23.41\00:07:25.54
Of course, not, so I
like that translation
00:07:25.57\00:07:28.21
because it makes it so real.
00:07:28.24\00:07:30.21
So here we are
given assurance from God,
00:07:30.25\00:07:32.58
a reiterated assurance
00:07:32.61\00:07:34.25
that God really does
want to answer us with yes,
00:07:34.28\00:07:36.99
yes responses.
00:07:37.02\00:07:38.35
God does the want
to set us up for no's.
00:07:38.39\00:07:40.79
He takes no pleasure
in that kind of thing,
00:07:40.82\00:07:43.02
in our sufferings, in our pains,
00:07:43.06\00:07:44.69
in our disappointments.
00:07:44.73\00:07:46.06
When we believe,
"Oh, I went to Father
00:07:46.09\00:07:47.43
and ask Him something
and He didn't respond to me,"
00:07:47.46\00:07:49.43
there's no pleasure in that.
00:07:49.46\00:07:50.93
So why are we
getting all of these no's?
00:07:50.97\00:07:53.90
And that's where
we need to head today.
00:07:53.94\00:07:57.07
So the biggest reason,
or the fundamental reason,
00:07:57.11\00:08:02.64
or the principle
upon which we need
00:08:02.68\00:08:05.01
to examine our prayer lives
00:08:05.05\00:08:06.65
and that no
track record is for us
00:08:06.68\00:08:09.32
to look at the issue of self.
00:08:09.35\00:08:13.15
Somewhere we
really do not like to go
00:08:13.19\00:08:15.96
because surely God
does not have to say yes
00:08:15.99\00:08:18.46
to our prayers
every time we pray.
00:08:18.49\00:08:21.53
And the occasional no's
are really for our good.
00:08:21.56\00:08:25.30
So He really does
want to set us up.
00:08:25.33\00:08:27.30
But there is a problem,
the problem is simply self,
00:08:27.34\00:08:30.81
the premise upon which we can
00:08:30.84\00:08:32.17
begin to change
our track record.
00:08:32.21\00:08:35.94
In our prayer lives
00:08:35.98\00:08:37.31
is to have a
deeper understanding
00:08:37.35\00:08:38.71
of Galatians 2:20.
00:08:38.75\00:08:40.98
Okay.
00:08:41.02\00:08:42.35
So you see there
in Galatians 2:20,
00:08:42.38\00:08:43.72
the Bible says, "My old
self has been crucified.
00:08:43.75\00:08:47.79
It is no longer I who
live, but Christ lives in me.
00:08:47.82\00:08:52.06
So I live in this earthly body
00:08:52.09\00:08:54.16
by trusting in the
Son of God who loved me
00:08:54.20\00:08:56.67
and gave Himself for me."
00:08:56.70\00:08:58.50
This here, that
text Galatians 2:20,
00:08:58.53\00:09:02.47
is what needs to transform
00:09:02.50\00:09:04.67
the prayer life
of every Christian,
00:09:04.71\00:09:07.41
the issue of self.
00:09:07.44\00:09:08.91
Clearly here when
we look at this text,
00:09:08.94\00:09:11.01
an operation is taking place.
00:09:11.05\00:09:13.58
I, Nadine, I am
crucified with Christ.
00:09:13.62\00:09:17.15
It is no longer I who live.
00:09:17.19\00:09:19.55
So if I am dead,
Christ is now living in me.
00:09:19.59\00:09:23.79
So when I go to
pray, who's praying?
00:09:23.83\00:09:27.66
Is it Nadine or is it the
Spirit of God living in me?
00:09:27.70\00:09:33.13
And that's where the
operation needs to take place
00:09:33.17\00:09:37.51
because the thing is self seems
to be the biggest hindrance
00:09:37.54\00:09:40.44
that we have in
having our prayers answered.
00:09:40.48\00:09:43.98
Self is the biggest
hindrance that we have
00:09:44.01\00:09:46.65
in getting more yes
answers to our prayers.
00:09:46.68\00:09:48.78
It is the very tool that
the enemy uses against us
00:09:48.82\00:09:52.52
when we go to pray
00:09:52.55\00:09:53.99
because the truth
is self can never pray
00:09:54.02\00:09:57.26
in the will of God.
00:09:57.29\00:10:00.73
You know, we have a tendency
to block our own blessings.
00:10:00.76\00:10:04.43
You know, we pray for
things but we're not living
00:10:04.47\00:10:08.10
according to the Word of God.
00:10:08.14\00:10:10.24
You know, it's
like, and I'm not saying
00:10:10.27\00:10:12.47
we as in you and me
00:10:12.51\00:10:13.94
but just people in
general will pray for something
00:10:13.98\00:10:18.41
but can block
their own blessings.
00:10:18.45\00:10:20.68
I remember when
I was in the world,
00:10:20.72\00:10:22.22
like if I prayed for
something or whatever
00:10:22.25\00:10:27.46
where I wasn't really
having that walk with God,
00:10:27.49\00:10:30.39
like that
because I was out there,
00:10:30.43\00:10:33.03
I was seeking to do my own will,
00:10:33.06\00:10:35.16
and when I would do
so like, a lot of things
00:10:35.20\00:10:38.67
weren't going right for me.
00:10:38.70\00:10:40.57
And that's because I was
blocking my own blessings.
00:10:40.60\00:10:42.87
I was serving
myself as opposed to God.
00:10:42.90\00:10:45.07
Yes. And that's what self...
00:10:45.11\00:10:47.51
When we go into God with self,
00:10:47.54\00:10:50.75
our track record
will look a lot like
00:10:50.78\00:10:52.98
what many of us
experiencing sometimes,
00:10:53.01\00:10:54.85
all of these no's, and
these no's and these no's
00:10:54.88\00:10:57.12
because we are praying in self.
00:10:57.15\00:10:59.25
And that's why
Paul says in Roman 6:6,
00:10:59.29\00:11:01.79
"That old self was crucified.
00:11:01.82\00:11:04.86
For we know that
old self was crucified,"
00:11:04.89\00:11:06.66
he said, "So our
bodies no longer ruled by sin
00:11:06.70\00:11:10.03
because it's done away with
00:11:10.07\00:11:12.00
that we are no
longer slaves to sin."
00:11:12.03\00:11:14.44
And when we are praying in
self we are really praying,
00:11:14.47\00:11:17.41
really on to our own
selves or not unto God.
00:11:17.44\00:11:20.31
Because Roman 6:6 is clear,
00:11:20.34\00:11:21.81
"It is no longer
ruled by the flesh,"
00:11:21.84\00:11:23.75
because self is really
the desires of the flesh,
00:11:23.78\00:11:26.92
the desires of our
hearts, the things that we think
00:11:26.95\00:11:29.45
that we want, right?
00:11:29.48\00:11:31.59
So we are no
longer ruled by that,
00:11:31.62\00:11:33.49
so the desires and
wants are no longer
00:11:33.52\00:11:35.49
ruled by the
things of the flesh,
00:11:35.52\00:11:37.33
the lust of the eye.
00:11:37.36\00:11:38.69
And to break it
down for our viewers,
00:11:38.73\00:11:40.43
it will be these things
that we believe to be needs
00:11:40.46\00:11:43.20
and wants, and these things
00:11:43.23\00:11:45.07
that we think
would be good for us
00:11:45.10\00:11:46.80
and we are praying in accordance
00:11:46.84\00:11:48.17
with those things.
00:11:48.20\00:11:49.54
The text really
commands every Christian
00:11:49.57\00:11:51.37
to really examine this
self so that we can see that
00:11:51.41\00:11:55.61
when we go to God in self.
00:11:55.64\00:11:58.41
Our prayers cannot be answered
00:11:58.45\00:12:00.65
because self is always
going to be at odd with God.
00:12:00.68\00:12:04.29
Now we are going
to look at that more,
00:12:04.32\00:12:05.65
self is a dangerous problem.
00:12:05.69\00:12:07.69
You see even on
a personal level,
00:12:07.72\00:12:09.26
just you and I,
00:12:09.29\00:12:10.63
and let's see we have
a few other friends here,
00:12:10.66\00:12:12.13
and each of us come
here clothed in self.
00:12:12.16\00:12:14.33
We go to church,
let's go to church now.
00:12:14.36\00:12:16.77
So I come to
church clothed in self,
00:12:16.80\00:12:18.70
you come to
church clothed in self,
00:12:18.73\00:12:20.27
other people come.
00:12:20.30\00:12:21.64
We are always going to clash
00:12:21.67\00:12:23.17
because the self in me
will clash with the self
00:12:23.20\00:12:25.14
in you will clash with
the self in somebody else.
00:12:25.17\00:12:27.38
And that's how we
continue to have problems
00:12:27.41\00:12:29.04
in our
churches, in our families,
00:12:29.08\00:12:30.88
in our marriages,
in our relationships
00:12:30.91\00:12:33.52
because self is
clashing with self.
00:12:33.55\00:12:36.58
But if we look at
a different picture,
00:12:36.62\00:12:38.79
where I am dead
00:12:38.82\00:12:40.16
and the Spirit of
God is living in me
00:12:40.19\00:12:42.39
and you are dead and
despite of God is living in you,
00:12:42.42\00:12:44.69
and if we look at
every other person,
00:12:44.73\00:12:47.40
talk about church members,
00:12:47.43\00:12:48.83
family members, and so
on, and we are all dead,
00:12:48.86\00:12:50.67
and the Spirit of
God is living in us,
00:12:50.70\00:12:52.80
when we come together
we are going to get along
00:12:52.83\00:12:55.34
because the spirit of God
00:12:55.37\00:12:56.71
will get along
with the Spirit of God.
00:12:56.74\00:12:59.17
So if self is
causing these problems
00:12:59.21\00:13:00.78
in our personal relationships,
you could imagine the havoc
00:13:00.81\00:13:03.61
it's causing in
our prayer lives.
00:13:03.65\00:13:05.98
Because we are going to God,
00:13:06.01\00:13:07.35
asking Him to
bless and sanction things
00:13:07.38\00:13:10.52
that are inconsistent
with what He wants for us,
00:13:10.55\00:13:15.86
and that's really
where we really want
00:13:15.89\00:13:18.06
to look at going today,
00:13:18.09\00:13:19.66
so we cannot go to
God clothed in self.
00:13:19.69\00:13:22.16
When you think
about the day you wake up
00:13:22.20\00:13:24.77
and you have not
consecrated yourself to God,
00:13:24.80\00:13:27.44
sometimes you
look back on that day
00:13:27.47\00:13:29.17
and you say, "Did
I behave that way?"
00:13:29.20\00:13:32.11
And that is because
I was clothed in self
00:13:32.14\00:13:35.04
or you were clothed in self.
00:13:35.08\00:13:36.58
But the days
when we are in Christ
00:13:36.61\00:13:38.45
and we look back, we can see
00:13:38.48\00:13:40.08
how our behavior
didn't reflect Him
00:13:40.12\00:13:42.05
because it was just self
being edified on the days
00:13:42.08\00:13:45.09
when we have not given.
00:13:45.12\00:13:46.45
And I'm saying on the
days because we realize that
00:13:46.49\00:13:48.72
if I pray to die to self today,
00:13:48.76\00:13:50.99
it's not going to cover
me for later or tomorrow,
00:13:51.03\00:13:54.00
it is a daily thing,
00:13:54.03\00:13:55.36
every day we have to die to self
00:13:55.40\00:13:57.97
and allow the Spirit
of God to live in us.
00:13:58.00\00:13:59.87
Yeah, and when we look at
God and we look at Christ,
00:13:59.90\00:14:04.34
I mean, He's selfless,
00:14:04.37\00:14:06.78
like everything
about Him is selfless.
00:14:06.81\00:14:08.31
He came into this world
00:14:08.34\00:14:10.75
and devoted His life to service.
00:14:10.78\00:14:13.45
You know, He
sacrificed His life.
00:14:13.48\00:14:16.18
When you look at
the cross and the things
00:14:16.22\00:14:17.75
that He endured for us,
00:14:17.79\00:14:20.59
that was self
sacrificing, selfless love.
00:14:20.62\00:14:24.43
Now the devil on the
other hand is selfish
00:14:24.46\00:14:27.83
and he seeks to exalt himself.
00:14:27.86\00:14:29.73
You know, he
wanted to be above God,
00:14:29.76\00:14:32.83
he wanted to be worshipped
and everything like that.
00:14:32.87\00:14:35.77
So I like what
you're saying about
00:14:35.80\00:14:37.21
how we have to die to self
00:14:37.24\00:14:40.54
because even in our prayers
00:14:40.58\00:14:42.71
we can pray selfish
prayers with those motives,
00:14:42.74\00:14:47.12
you know, with
messed up motives.
00:14:47.15\00:14:48.68
And that's
exactly where I was going
00:14:48.72\00:14:50.05
because you see the thing is
00:14:50.09\00:14:51.62
when we go to
God praying in self,
00:14:51.65\00:14:53.19
we pray the
most selfish prayers.
00:14:53.22\00:14:55.29
For example, we will say to God,
00:14:55.32\00:14:57.03
"Bless this relationship."
00:14:57.06\00:14:59.36
Even though I know for example
00:14:59.39\00:15:01.16
that you said I should
not be unequally yoked.
00:15:01.20\00:15:03.67
So we want to go
ahead and marry somebody
00:15:03.70\00:15:05.30
who is not of the same faith
00:15:05.33\00:15:06.67
and then we ask
God to bless that.
00:15:06.70\00:15:08.40
I like that, so basically
it's like we pray and say,
00:15:08.44\00:15:13.24
"God, I'm seeking your will,
00:15:13.27\00:15:17.45
really here's
what I want is this."
00:15:17.48\00:15:19.95
Okay, if your will
disagrees with mine
00:15:19.98\00:15:22.18
I'm going to go
with this, I want this,
00:15:22.22\00:15:24.39
I want You to accept my will.
00:15:24.42\00:15:26.05
Basically is what
those selfish prayers are,
00:15:26.09\00:15:29.52
that's the wrong way to pray.
00:15:29.56\00:15:31.36
Yeah, and we're
going to touch on that.
00:15:31.39\00:15:33.63
What we're really
doing is asking God to bless
00:15:33.66\00:15:36.90
or confirm to our will.
00:15:36.93\00:15:39.07
So this selfish
person is saying,
00:15:39.10\00:15:40.44
"Lord," it's almost like saying,
00:15:40.47\00:15:41.80
"Father, I'm
going to have this pork,
00:15:41.84\00:15:43.17
so bless it, so I can eat it."
00:15:43.20\00:15:45.11
So we ask him to bless jobs
even though we work on Sabbath
00:15:45.14\00:15:49.01
and we have not had the
courage to tell our bosses,
00:15:49.04\00:15:50.85
"Hey, I'm a Seventh-day
Adventist Christian."
00:15:50.88\00:15:53.11
We ask Him to bless our kids
00:15:53.15\00:15:54.82
even when they're living outside
00:15:54.85\00:15:56.79
of what we have
taught them and what we want,
00:15:56.82\00:15:59.09
know that God wants them to
do, but we want them to prosper
00:15:59.12\00:16:02.39
even in the thing
that doesn't honor God.
00:16:02.42\00:16:04.59
And sometimes we even
go as far as asking Him,
00:16:04.63\00:16:07.66
and it's the weirdest thing,
because I said it one day,
00:16:07.70\00:16:10.50
presented in the
church on prayer,
00:16:10.53\00:16:12.07
and I apologized after
00:16:12.10\00:16:14.00
but got confirmation about that.
00:16:14.04\00:16:16.10
I was presenting and I'm saying
00:16:16.14\00:16:17.91
you know sometimes we
go as far as asking God
00:16:17.94\00:16:21.14
to breakup somebody's marriage
00:16:21.18\00:16:23.91
so that we can be
blessed with their spouse.
00:16:23.95\00:16:26.38
And I thought
where did that come from?
00:16:26.41\00:16:28.58
And then after when the
pastor and I was praying,
00:16:28.62\00:16:30.49
you know, we
broke out into sessions.
00:16:30.52\00:16:32.42
And I said to pastor,
00:16:32.45\00:16:33.79
"I apologize, I have no
idea where that come from."
00:16:33.82\00:16:35.92
He said to me, "Don't
worry," I'm Dr. Nadine,
00:16:35.96\00:16:38.59
"It's okay, because right
now we're dealing with a case
00:16:38.63\00:16:41.30
right here in this church
00:16:41.33\00:16:42.80
where somebody
is asking us to pray
00:16:42.83\00:16:44.87
that God would break
up somebody's marriage
00:16:44.90\00:16:46.53
so that she can
get the husband."
00:16:46.57\00:16:48.37
And so the thing is
these are selfish prayers,
00:16:48.40\00:16:50.44
and we literally go to God
00:16:50.47\00:16:52.51
asking God to do
these crazy things.
00:16:52.54\00:16:54.58
So could you imagine
if God had to conform
00:16:54.61\00:16:56.44
to the will of
our selfish nature,
00:16:56.48\00:16:58.61
what our prayer
lives would be like?
00:16:58.65\00:17:01.08
And so these selfish
prayers are the prayers
00:17:01.12\00:17:03.85
that we do not want to pray,
00:17:03.89\00:17:05.45
that's why we need to ask God
00:17:05.49\00:17:07.22
to remove self
from us every day.
00:17:07.26\00:17:10.26
And when we are about to
pray, definitely we do not need
00:17:10.29\00:17:14.06
to be praying in our own will,
00:17:14.10\00:17:15.90
that is why the spirit
of God needs to be imposed.
00:17:15.93\00:17:18.23
The Spirit of God
needs to be living in us.
00:17:18.27\00:17:21.27
And that is the fundamental upon
00:17:21.30\00:17:23.14
which we need to
really build our prayer life
00:17:23.17\00:17:25.84
because selfish
prayers will always be against
00:17:25.87\00:17:30.48
what God wants for us
because the Bible says
00:17:30.51\00:17:34.22
that we are enemies of
God, we are at enmity with God.
00:17:34.25\00:17:37.19
In fact Romans 8:5 says,
00:17:37.22\00:17:39.12
"Those who live
according to the flesh
00:17:39.15\00:17:42.02
have their mind set on
what the flesh desires,
00:17:42.06\00:17:45.73
but those who live in
accordance with the Spirit
00:17:45.76\00:17:48.13
have their minds set on
what the Spirit desires."
00:17:48.16\00:17:51.77
So that is why we
kind of pray in self
00:17:51.80\00:17:53.70
because self will pray to
want the things of the flesh.
00:17:53.74\00:17:57.74
Self will pray
to want the things
00:17:57.77\00:17:59.11
that are not of God,
00:17:59.14\00:18:00.68
but when the Spirit
of God is living in us,
00:18:00.71\00:18:03.71
we are going to be
praying in accordance
00:18:03.75\00:18:06.01
with the Spirit of
God that is living in us.
00:18:06.05\00:18:09.42
Because Romans 8:6-8 says,
00:18:09.45\00:18:11.65
"The mind set on
the flesh is death,
00:18:11.69\00:18:15.12
but the mind set on the
Spirit is life and peace,
00:18:15.16\00:18:17.96
because the
mind set on the flesh
00:18:17.99\00:18:19.69
is hostile toward God
00:18:19.73\00:18:21.53
for it does not
subject itself to a law of God,
00:18:21.56\00:18:24.83
for it is not
even able to do so."
00:18:24.87\00:18:26.90
This is powerful.
00:18:26.94\00:18:28.27
It says, "It is
not even able to do so
00:18:28.30\00:18:32.11
but those who are in the flesh,"
00:18:32.14\00:18:34.94
and those who are in the
flesh, "cannot please God."
00:18:34.98\00:18:37.55
So when we are going
to pray, if self is alive,
00:18:37.58\00:18:40.98
we cannot pray in the way
that God would want us to pray
00:18:41.02\00:18:45.22
because we are not even able.
00:18:45.25\00:18:46.86
The Bible says, the
mind set on the flesh
00:18:46.89\00:18:49.89
is not even able to do otherwise
00:18:49.92\00:18:52.33
because all we
are going to be seeing
00:18:52.36\00:18:54.13
is the things that we want.
00:18:54.16\00:18:55.66
Our selfish motives
will be pushed there
00:18:55.70\00:18:58.03
because our minds are
set on the wrong thing,
00:18:58.07\00:19:00.20
but when the Spirit
of God is living in us,
00:19:00.24\00:19:02.10
of course, our prayers
are going to be different.
00:19:02.14\00:19:04.64
And so this is what we
need to really focus on
00:19:04.67\00:19:06.94
when we talking
about developing that
00:19:06.98\00:19:08.38
wow prayer life.
00:19:08.41\00:19:09.84
We cannot
develop a wow prayer life
00:19:09.88\00:19:11.81
if we want to hold on to self.
00:19:11.85\00:19:14.05
We can't develop
a wow prayer life
00:19:14.08\00:19:15.68
if we want to hold on
to the things of the flesh.
00:19:15.72\00:19:18.52
We want to hold
on to our own ways.
00:19:18.55\00:19:20.22
We are not willing to
allow God to live in us,
00:19:20.26\00:19:22.76
it cannot work like that.
00:19:22.79\00:19:24.13
We can't serve two
masters. No we cannot.
00:19:24.16\00:19:27.16
That's why Paul
says in Romans 7:18,
00:19:27.20\00:19:29.40
"For I know that
nothing good dwells in me,"
00:19:29.43\00:19:33.47
remember that text?
00:19:33.50\00:19:34.84
"That is in my flesh
00:19:34.87\00:19:36.20
for I desire to
do what is right,
00:19:36.24\00:19:37.91
but I am not
able to carry it out."
00:19:37.94\00:19:40.71
So just imagine if
we translate these texts
00:19:40.74\00:19:43.21
into our prayer life,
00:19:43.24\00:19:44.85
we cannot trust
ourselves to pray
00:19:44.88\00:19:46.88
because the sinful nature
wants to do evil all the time.
00:19:46.92\00:19:50.45
That's our nature
which is just the opposite
00:19:50.49\00:19:53.36
of what the Spirit wants.
00:19:53.39\00:19:55.09
And that's what Romans,
00:19:55.12\00:19:56.46
in fact
Galatians 5:17 talks about.
00:19:56.49\00:19:59.76
"The Spirit gives us desires
to do things that are opposite
00:19:59.79\00:20:03.00
of what our
sinful nature desires,"
00:20:03.03\00:20:06.00
and that's why we need
the Spirit of God living us
00:20:06.03\00:20:08.77
so that our
desires can be different,
00:20:08.80\00:20:10.74
so our taste
buds can be different,
00:20:10.77\00:20:12.97
because our natural inclination
00:20:13.01\00:20:14.78
is to want things
that are not of God.
00:20:14.81\00:20:16.78
Our taste buds are marred,
they are messed up by sin.
00:20:16.81\00:20:21.25
But now when the
spirit of God is living in us,
00:20:21.28\00:20:23.15
He gives us new
tastes, He gives us new desires
00:20:23.18\00:20:26.82
so that when we come
to Him what we are asking
00:20:26.86\00:20:29.02
for will be totally opposite
00:20:29.06\00:20:30.53
to what naturally we would
like or naturally we would want.
00:20:30.56\00:20:33.90
We need to love the
things that He loves
00:20:33.93\00:20:36.03
and despise the
things that He despises.
00:20:36.06\00:20:38.10
Yes.
00:20:38.13\00:20:39.47
And so many
times I see, you know,
00:20:39.50\00:20:40.84
it's just the
mercy and grace of God
00:20:40.87\00:20:42.64
that sometimes
answers or seem to answer
00:20:42.67\00:20:45.37
what seems to be
prayers that did not go with,
00:20:45.41\00:20:47.61
inline with what
God wanted us to do.
00:20:47.64\00:20:50.75
I remember one time I
was dating a young man,
00:20:50.78\00:20:54.15
and I know you
like these stories,
00:20:54.18\00:20:57.25
besides it's a young
man, and I remember, at first,
00:20:57.29\00:21:01.12
generally I
would go to God first.
00:21:01.16\00:21:03.53
And when we started
to date, he says to me,
00:21:03.56\00:21:06.06
"You know, God has given you,
00:21:06.09\00:21:07.43
you know, mind to
think for yourself.
00:21:07.46\00:21:09.30
So if you see something good
and you can ask Him for it."
00:21:09.33\00:21:11.87
So I went and I
started dating him.
00:21:11.90\00:21:13.94
But a few months into it,
I found it to be too perfect,
00:21:13.97\00:21:16.50
so I decided to fast and pray.
00:21:16.54\00:21:18.84
And so when I fast
and I prayed, I told God,
00:21:18.87\00:21:21.14
you know what is His
will for this situation?
00:21:21.18\00:21:24.78
And He said, "Get out."
00:21:24.81\00:21:26.78
And I thought to
myself, "Really?"
00:21:26.82\00:21:28.55
Now at that time, I wasn't
in love of the guy or anything,
00:21:28.58\00:21:31.02
but because I don't know
somehow when God had told me,
00:21:31.05\00:21:34.56
you know, get out,
00:21:34.59\00:21:35.92
then I began to
pursue Him more like,
00:21:35.96\00:21:37.33
"Lord, what are
you talking about?
00:21:37.36\00:21:38.86
Why I shouldn't have this?"
00:21:38.89\00:21:40.23
And then I began
to fight with God
00:21:40.26\00:21:41.60
about our relationship.
00:21:41.63\00:21:43.00
And I fasted and
prayed a few months later
00:21:43.03\00:21:44.67
and He gave me the same
message again, "Get out."
00:21:44.70\00:21:48.00
And I remember one day
when I was going to church
00:21:48.04\00:21:51.54
and a pastor is
preaching and he said,
00:21:51.57\00:21:53.74
"If God tells you to give
up something, give it up,"
00:21:53.78\00:21:57.25
and it was right on point.
00:21:57.28\00:21:58.65
And I still continued dating him
00:21:58.68\00:22:00.38
until one day a friend called...
00:22:00.42\00:22:02.12
I had fasted for
whole week and I said,
00:22:02.15\00:22:03.75
"Lord," I was asking
Him to change His mind
00:22:03.79\00:22:06.35
because I'm seeing this guy
00:22:06.39\00:22:07.72
seemed to be an
outstanding person and so on.
00:22:07.76\00:22:10.36
And Friday morning,
at the end of that week,
00:22:10.39\00:22:12.69
my friend called and says...
00:22:12.73\00:22:14.30
My middle name Ana, so she said,
00:22:14.33\00:22:16.43
"Ana, I was just praying for you
00:22:16.46\00:22:18.03
and God said to tell you,
00:22:18.07\00:22:19.50
He's not going
to change His mind."
00:22:19.53\00:22:21.60
So the thing about it
00:22:21.64\00:22:22.97
is sometimes we
continue need God for things.
00:22:23.00\00:22:25.14
We are fighting
with Him for things
00:22:25.17\00:22:26.94
that He wants us to give
up because the flesh wants it,
00:22:26.98\00:22:30.18
but He knows best for us.
00:22:30.21\00:22:32.08
And basically, like
that no one in that situation
00:22:32.11\00:22:36.15
or that give this person up,
00:22:36.18\00:22:38.42
and that situation
was still a blessing.
00:22:38.45\00:22:40.32
You know, your
courtship wasn't a failure,
00:22:40.36\00:22:42.56
it was a success.
00:22:42.59\00:22:43.93
You found out that
you guys weren't meant
00:22:43.96\00:22:45.73
to be together for a marriage.
00:22:45.76\00:22:47.30
You know, He could've
saved you from something
00:22:47.33\00:22:48.83
that you didn't
see down the road.
00:22:48.86\00:22:50.53
Exactly, and that's why
00:22:50.57\00:22:51.90
we cannot trust
ourselves to pray
00:22:51.93\00:22:54.57
without the Spirit
of God living in us
00:22:54.60\00:22:57.01
because we'll be
contending and fighting with God
00:22:57.04\00:22:59.24
for things that really
He does not want for us.
00:22:59.27\00:23:03.38
So when Jesus is living
in us we do not ask things
00:23:03.41\00:23:06.51
according to the flesh,
we'll not ask him things
00:23:06.55\00:23:09.68
that will please the flesh,
00:23:09.72\00:23:11.29
but we are asking Him for things
00:23:11.32\00:23:12.85
according to the
Spirit that is living in us.
00:23:12.89\00:23:16.46
And that is really what
we really want to focus on
00:23:16.49\00:23:19.43
as believers.
00:23:19.46\00:23:20.80
That's the
direction that we really want
00:23:20.83\00:23:22.16
to take our prayer lives in,
00:23:22.20\00:23:24.00
you see, so we
need to die to self.
00:23:24.03\00:23:27.24
We need to realize that we
need to be dependent on God.
00:23:27.27\00:23:31.11
And the only
way that we can have
00:23:31.14\00:23:32.57
that dependence as we
looked at in the life of Jesus,
00:23:32.61\00:23:35.21
the only way that
we can pray prayers
00:23:35.24\00:23:36.95
that in accordance with
what God would want us to do
00:23:36.98\00:23:39.75
is when His Spirit
is actually living in us
00:23:39.78\00:23:43.72
because self will
always be at war with God.
00:23:43.75\00:23:46.39
We are enemies
acquainted by enemies of God
00:23:46.42\00:23:48.79
and anything that
we ask in our flesh
00:23:48.82\00:23:50.99
will be something that
will be naturally opposing
00:23:51.03\00:23:55.20
to what God
Himself would want us
00:23:55.23\00:23:57.40
to actually ask of Him. Yes.
00:23:57.43\00:24:00.10
And we have to spend
time with the Lord like
00:24:00.14\00:24:02.17
we have to carve out that
time, that time is so important.
00:24:02.20\00:24:05.57
And you know like we
had a program on intimacy,
00:24:05.61\00:24:10.65
and prayer and intimacy.
00:24:10.68\00:24:12.11
And I mean in
order to have that,
00:24:12.15\00:24:14.78
how do you
develop a relationship?
00:24:14.82\00:24:16.65
How do you cultivate a
relationship with somebody?
00:24:16.69\00:24:19.12
By spending time,
and getting to know them,
00:24:19.15\00:24:21.29
getting to know their
likes and their dislikes.
00:24:21.32\00:24:23.83
Well, all that stuff can
be found in the Word of God.
00:24:23.86\00:24:26.73
But if you're not opening it up,
00:24:26.76\00:24:28.23
if it's just sitting
there collecting dust,
00:24:28.26\00:24:31.23
you're not going to
know what God wants.
00:24:31.27\00:24:33.94
Exactly, and the thing is,
00:24:33.97\00:24:37.14
the reason why we do
not spend time with Him
00:24:37.17\00:24:40.88
is because we trust
ourselves more than Him,
00:24:40.91\00:24:43.81
because we believe
that we know what's right.
00:24:43.85\00:24:46.51
Sometimes we weigh the pros
and cons and we make decisions
00:24:46.55\00:24:50.12
and we think you know
00:24:50.15\00:24:51.49
that's a good way
to make decisions.
00:24:51.52\00:24:53.32
And I think that
the best way for us
00:24:53.36\00:24:54.72
to make decisions is
to really be seeking God,
00:24:54.76\00:24:58.16
being at His feet, "Lord,
what do you want me to do?
00:24:58.19\00:25:01.20
What will you have me to do?"
00:25:01.23\00:25:02.83
And we're going
to focus more on that
00:25:02.86\00:25:04.20
in another program
00:25:04.23\00:25:05.57
because at the end of the day
00:25:05.60\00:25:06.94
anything that
I'm going to ask Him,
00:25:06.97\00:25:08.30
as we have already established,
00:25:08.34\00:25:09.67
will be what I want
unless I spend time with Him
00:25:09.70\00:25:13.21
to know what He wants. Yes.
00:25:13.24\00:25:15.11
So when you're dating somebody,
00:25:15.14\00:25:16.48
like when we discussed intimacy,
00:25:16.51\00:25:17.85
unless you spend time with them
00:25:17.88\00:25:20.22
you will not know what
that person really like.
00:25:20.25\00:25:22.22
You will not
know the proclivities.
00:25:22.25\00:25:23.59
You will not know, you
know, their preferences,
00:25:23.62\00:25:25.69
their favorite colors,
and these different things.
00:25:25.72\00:25:28.12
So when we spend time with God,
00:25:28.16\00:25:30.39
obviously we will
know that we need to die
00:25:30.43\00:25:33.09
because we will see that
we are so opposed with Him
00:25:33.13\00:25:36.36
that we have
nothing in common in a sense
00:25:36.40\00:25:38.80
because I'm sinful
and He's all righteous.
00:25:38.83\00:25:41.44
So now we will
want to be more like Him
00:25:41.47\00:25:44.31
and we will be desiring to
die because we are knowing that,
00:25:44.34\00:25:48.38
"Hey, this
relationship can't work
00:25:48.41\00:25:49.78
if I hold on to self,"
00:25:49.81\00:25:52.05
because the two cannot
walk together unless they agree.
00:25:52.08\00:25:55.45
And so in order for me
to be able to have that
00:25:55.48\00:25:57.62
nice relationship,
00:25:57.65\00:25:58.99
that awesome
relationship with God,
00:25:59.02\00:26:00.36
I need to die
because we need to agree.
00:26:00.39\00:26:02.86
And I know for sure
that if I die to self
00:26:02.89\00:26:05.26
and He's living in me,
00:26:05.29\00:26:06.66
then you know things
are going to be better
00:26:06.70\00:26:08.53
so that is why we need
00:26:08.56\00:26:10.67
to really allow
the life of Jesus.
00:26:10.70\00:26:13.34
We need to allow, you
know His perfect example,
00:26:13.37\00:26:15.47
in addition to the
fact that we need for sure,
00:26:15.50\00:26:18.14
we need to die to self
00:26:18.17\00:26:19.77
so that we can
ask things to God.
00:26:19.81\00:26:22.51
We need to go to God in
accordance with the spirit.
00:26:22.54\00:26:25.68
And so the take away
points we can have is that
00:26:25.71\00:26:27.55
there are times when we
cannot trust ourselves to pray,
00:26:27.58\00:26:30.62
that's for sure.
00:26:30.65\00:26:31.99
You know there are times
00:26:32.02\00:26:33.36
when we are even
too wounded to pray,
00:26:33.39\00:26:34.79
you know that is when we
really need to die to self.
00:26:34.82\00:26:37.53
And when we are
too wounded to pray,
00:26:37.56\00:26:39.49
it's a good thing
knowing for sure that,
00:26:39.53\00:26:41.60
"Hey, the Spirit of
God will pray for me
00:26:41.63\00:26:44.10
because the Spirit
of God is living in me."
00:26:44.13\00:26:46.77
And it can be a blessing
because we are depending
00:26:46.80\00:26:48.84
on the Spirit of God
to actually pray for us.
00:26:48.87\00:26:51.44
And we need to also
remember that we cannot depend
00:26:51.47\00:26:54.34
on the Holy Spirit to
pray for us if self is alive.
00:26:54.38\00:26:57.18
The Holy Spirit will not
pray our selfish prayers,
00:26:57.21\00:27:00.52
it cannot prayer
our selfish prayers.
00:27:00.55\00:27:02.35
That will go totally opposite
to what God would want us
00:27:02.38\00:27:05.49
to pray for,
00:27:05.52\00:27:06.86
so we need to
remember these points.
00:27:06.89\00:27:09.09
And I would like us
to just say a prayer
00:27:09.12\00:27:10.86
as you know we've spoken
about this topic about self.
00:27:10.89\00:27:13.90
Lord, teach us how to die daily.
00:27:13.93\00:27:16.87
May we allow ourselves to live
00:27:16.90\00:27:19.77
and work so that
you can live in us,
00:27:19.80\00:27:22.44
that we can remain dead to self.
00:27:22.47\00:27:24.14
Father, we ask that You would
keep self under subjection,
00:27:24.17\00:27:27.74
so we can
experience a prayer life
00:27:27.78\00:27:29.48
that is effective.
00:27:29.51\00:27:31.01
May we continue to
allow You to live in us
00:27:31.05\00:27:33.75
so that our prayer life
can take a different flight.
00:27:33.78\00:27:36.89
And the experience
and the testimonies
00:27:36.92\00:27:38.85
that the God can
be a blessing to us
00:27:38.89\00:27:40.49
and to others we
pray, in the name of Jesus.
00:27:40.52\00:27:43.02
Amen. Amen.
00:27:43.06\00:27:44.39
Thank you for that insight that
you've provided us with today.
00:27:44.43\00:27:47.96
We pray that you were
blessed by today's program.
00:27:48.00\00:27:51.33
Remember that even when God says
00:27:51.37\00:27:52.87
no to some of
our prayer requests,
00:27:52.90\00:27:54.90
it's a blessing.
00:27:54.94\00:27:56.30
Be sure to tune in next
time when Dr. Nadine shares
00:27:56.34\00:27:59.34
more information to
supply The Missing Piece.
00:27:59.37\00:28:02.81