Hello and welcome to 3ABN Live.
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This is our two hour
live program and we believe
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that we have, that
the Lord has something
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very special in
store for us tonight.
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I am Shelley Quinn, my
co-host Mollie Steenson
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and tonight
we'll be talking about
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actually how life
issues impact our spirituality
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and even though
we have three ladies
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on the program tonight
we'll be looking at things
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from a female
prospective and talking about
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how various issues
impact women in particular
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but men I want to encourage
you to please stay tuned
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because this
will give you an idea
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how you can
certainly minister to your wife
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or your daughter or your sister
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but also many of
these issues actually are--
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they effect both genders.
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Not just women
but men as well. Yes.
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And we just encourage you
to, uh, call your friends,
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get them to watch
tonight because we have
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Heather-Dawn Small with us.
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I want to introduce her to
you and I can just assure you
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what she has to
share tonight will touch
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every one of your hearts
and draw you closer to the Lord
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but also give
you some live tools
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to help you go
through difficult times.
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Amen, Amen. And let me do
introduce, Heather-Dawn Small.
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Heather, we're so
glad you are here.
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Thank you. You are the
director of Women's Ministries
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for the General conference
of the Seventh-Day Adventist.
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And you know what, I remember
the first time I met you,
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you and I just, it
was an immediate bond.
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We hit it off, that's
right, we did, we did.
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That was a God thing.
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It was, and we're so glad
that you are here tonight.
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Thank you, I am
really happy to be here.
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And you know we've
already have of course
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had an
opportunity to talk with you.
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So we know little bit
about what you're going to share
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and that's gonna be exciting.
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I do want to start
off with a scripture
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and its interesting
because this scripture
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I had not actually
thought about what scripture
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I was gonna
start the program with,
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Mollie mention how
about Isaiah Chapter 61,
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Heather-Dawn jumped in
and said that's a God thing.
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Why is this so
special, this scripture?
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Because that
scripture ties into the theme
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which we're using for Women's
Ministry for this five year
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as a matter of fact into
the next five years period.
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It is the scripture that
God gave us specifically to use.
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So when she said
that, I thought okay Lord,
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I am in the right
place. Amen, Amen.
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So let's look at Isaiah
61 and this is verse 1 to 3
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and it says, "The Spirit
of the Lord God is upon me,
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because the Lord has anointed me
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to preach good
tidings to the poor,
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he has sent me to
heal the broken hearted,
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to proclaim
liberty to the captives,
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and the opening of the
prison to those who are bound,
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To proclaim the
acceptable year of the Lord,
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and the day of
vengeance of our God,
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to comfort all who mourn,
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to console those
who mourn in Zion,
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to give them beauty for ashes,
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the oil of joy for mourning,
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the garment of praise
for the spirit of heaviness,
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that they might be called
trees of righteousness." Amen.
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And we're excited
that you are joining us
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no matter where you
tuning in from around the world.
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You know, it was a
beautiful day here today.
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We in the Northern
Hemisphere are looking forward
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to spring even
though summer-- excuse me,
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winter is not quite over with.
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Not over yet, but
today was a spring like day
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we got up to 68 degrees.
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And we know that
all of you down under
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in the Southern Hemisphere,
you're looking forward
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to Fall and may be
getting out of some of those
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hot temperatures
but its going to be
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a good year in
the Lord I know that.
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Yes, I know. Now
before we actually kick off
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into the interview,
we've got two things,
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first we have a song and
then we want to talk to you
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and get a little bit to
know about you personally
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but specifically I would
like to just take a moment
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and we'll talk about
the 'End it now' campaign.
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Yes. Okay. So Mollie, when you
want to introduce our singer?
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Yes, we have Emily
Felts Jones with us
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and Emily is going
to sing an absolutely
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beautiful song 'Down Under.'
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So appreciate
Emily now as she brings
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this beautiful song to us. Amen.
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When I was a child,
I spoke like a child
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And did all the
things children do.
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I laughed and I
played, worked and obeyed
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Learned about God as I grew.
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I learned I'm not worthy,
my life's stained with sin
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But it can be whiter than snow.
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For Jesus poured out
his own life to begin
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A river where sweet mercy flows.
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I want to go down,
down, down in the water
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I want to be clean, so clean.
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From this day
forward I want to go
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Under, under, under, the blood
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Plunged in his
mercy, washed in the blood.
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That day of my
birth, here on this earth
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Is only a story that's told.
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Today I begin
I'm born once again.
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And this is my moment to hold.
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So send down your
spirit and circle this place
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And let glory
alight like a dove.
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Cover my past with
the streams of your grace.
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And bury my life in your blood.
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Cause I want to go
down, down, down in the water
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I want to be clean, so clean
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From this day
forward I want to go
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Under, under, under, the blood
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Plunged in his
mercy, washed in the blood.
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Come down dear
father and stay for a while
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Say once again you are
pleased with your child.
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Cause I want to go
down, down, down in the water
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I want to be clean, so clean.
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From this day
forward I want to go
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Under, under,
under, under the blood
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Plunged in his mercy
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Oh, plunged in his
mercy and washed in the blood.
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Oh, thank you Emily.
That was Emily Felts Jones.
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Beautiful song and
just a beautiful voice
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and you know, for
good old Tennessee girl
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she can sing, can't she?
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She has a gracing
and an anointing of her--
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She does and she sings
for the glory of the Lord.
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If you're just
joining us, we're gonna have
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a very special evening
this tonight because I believe
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the Lord has--,
we know God has send
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Heather-Dawn
Small here to be with us
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and we're gonna be
talking about something's
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that really affect all of us.
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But we're gonna specifically
zero in on some issues
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that impact women's
life and their spirituality.
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So let me remind you
again this is a live program
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and in the second hour we're
gonna be taking your questions.
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So you can start
emailing those questions in to
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live@3abn.org
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or you can call 618-627-4651.
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And tonight will be somewhat
a round-robin discussion
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but we're gonna try to focus on,
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we don't get
Heather-Dawn here very often
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so we really want to
hear about you and your life
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and start right now,
before we get into a testimony,
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tell us just a little
bit about how you became
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Women's Ministries Director?
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How long and what you do
at the general conference?
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Well I've been
involved in Women's Ministries
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now since 1996.
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I was first at the
Caribbean union conference
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in my home country of
Trinidad and that's where
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I was first and I
worked there for five years
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and then I got call to
general conference in 2001
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and so I've been there since
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and Women's
Ministries has been my life.
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From the time I
left school I never knew
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what I was supposed to do,
I did a little bit of this,
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little bit of
that, went to college,
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had no idea
where my life was going
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until the Lord bought
Women's Ministries into my--
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Now you married a
pastor. Yes, I did.
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And did you become involved
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in Women's Ministries
after you were married?
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I did but back then we didn't
call it Women's Ministries,
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it was just ministering
to the women in the church
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and I think you
know, God does things
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in so many different
ways and just as I was saying
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that to you just
now, it was something
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just kind of hit me
because for all my married life
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I always said to my husband
I'll never work for the church,
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I'll never work for the church.
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We can only afford one of
us working for the church.
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One of us has to pay
the bills and you know
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we would laugh about
that but it was really only
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when I started
working for the church
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that I found my niche in
life in Women's Ministries.
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So may be if I had started
working for the church earlier,
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I would have known
where God wanted me earlier.
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Oh but you know what I believe
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is all those
experience is some times--
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I know Mollie and I
talked about this as well,
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we look back and some of
the experiences, not some,
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I believe all of the
experiences that the Lord
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has allowed us to go
through in our lives.
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Each moulds us and
shapes us and prepares us.
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It does. To do
the ministry causes.
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It does, its like a
connect the dots. Amen.
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But its only as you
look back then you see
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how these dots all connect to
the point that God has us now.
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Amen. Yes, yeah. Amen.
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Now please, I want to
take just a moment up front
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because right now
Women's Ministries
00:11:37.80\00:11:40.03
is combining
efforts with A.D.R.A.
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That's right. And
you're doing something
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that is very special, please
tell us about the 'End it Now.'
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Well, we've joined or
partnered with A.D.R.A.,
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which is Adventist
Development Relief Agency
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and we've started a
campaign called End it Now.
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And End It Now is a
campaign in which Adventists
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are saying no to
violence against women
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and the girl child also.
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This is something that has been,
00:12:06.37\00:12:07.83
oh we should have
done this a long time ago
00:12:07.84\00:12:10.74
because this is
such an important issue
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and its on the news all the time
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and this is not just
focusing on domestic violence,
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this is all forms of violence.
00:12:17.54\00:12:20.08
Its everything from female
genital mutilation to slavery
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to rape and the
statistics are mind boggling.
00:12:25.26\00:12:30.80
And you know, we're
talking to a world wide
00:12:30.81\00:12:33.63
audience right now but
what this End it Now campaign
00:12:33.64\00:12:36.84
is a world wide campaign.
00:12:36.85\00:12:39.08
We're going to show
you a little video clip
00:12:39.09\00:12:42.21
that you have a
little promo clip I believe.
00:12:42.22\00:12:44.22
Yes, yes. And its
something that this is living
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in developed
countries, I am not saying that
00:12:50.38\00:12:53.51
we don't have
violence against women here
00:12:53.52\00:12:56.05
but we don't
recognize or appreciate just
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how horrible it
is when it comes--
00:12:59.97\00:13:02.96
compared to say cultures,
00:13:02.97\00:13:04.81
who condone
violence against women.
00:13:04.82\00:13:08.30
That's right, that's
right, and so why don't we
00:13:08.31\00:13:10.05
show that little clip right now.
00:13:10.06\00:13:12.13
One in three
women around the world
00:13:21.28\00:13:23.21
are victims of physical
or physiological depression,
00:13:23.22\00:13:28.10
End It Now.
00:13:28.11\00:13:30.55
girls and women
00:13:30.56\00:13:33.31
have under gone
female genital mutilation
00:13:33.32\00:13:36.18
and an additional two
million girls and women
00:13:36.19\00:13:38.69
are at risk each year,
6000 every day, End it Now.
00:13:38.70\00:13:45.16
In United States,
one women is battered
00:13:45.17\00:13:48.03
every 15 seconds usually
by her husband or boyfriend,
00:13:48.04\00:13:52.94
End it Now.
00:13:56.11\00:13:58.65
One in five
women around the world
00:13:58.66\00:14:00.75
will be the victim of rape
00:14:00.76\00:14:02.75
or attempted
rape in her lifetime,
00:14:02.76\00:14:06.35
End It Now.
00:14:06.36\00:14:08.43
Why now? Because, we
00:14:08.44\00:14:11.72
can't wait.
00:14:15.01\00:14:16.56
Heather-Dawn that
just gave me chills
00:14:24.39\00:14:26.25
through out my body
and this is something
00:14:26.26\00:14:28.68
that you deal
with on a daily basis?
00:14:28.69\00:14:30.95
Yes, we do. The
reality of this is enormous.
00:14:30.96\00:14:34.70
When you think that one
in three women in the world
00:14:34.71\00:14:38.38
have been victims or
are victims of some form
00:14:38.39\00:14:42.00
of domestic violence,
some form of physical,
00:14:42.01\00:14:47.06
emotional-- when
you consider that
00:14:47.07\00:14:50.64
and that
doesn't say one in three
00:14:50.65\00:14:52.48
non-Christian women,
that says one in three women.
00:14:52.49\00:14:55.96
Yes. That brings it home.
00:14:55.97\00:14:57.85
And you traveled
all over the world,
00:14:57.86\00:14:59.85
don't you to different nations.
00:14:59.86\00:15:01.37
Yes. Speaking to ladies groups,
00:15:01.38\00:15:03.17
tell us some of the
nations that you've been to.
00:15:03.18\00:15:06.42
Oh, my. Yeah, we'll be
here all night, Mollie.
00:15:06.43\00:15:10.12
Well. I've been
to Russia and Latvia
00:15:10.13\00:15:12.77
and other European
countries, Germany, France.
00:15:12.78\00:15:15.07
I've been to just
about 12 African countries
00:15:15.08\00:15:18.67
and I'll add two
more later on this year.
00:15:18.68\00:15:20.59
I've been to
India, and Indonesia,
00:15:20.60\00:15:22.97
and Australia, and
New Zealand and all.
00:15:22.98\00:15:26.23
And you're not
finding any nations
00:15:26.24\00:15:27.89
that are exempt from these.
00:15:27.90\00:15:29.23
Not one, not one
and I think that thing
00:15:29.24\00:15:32.54
that really scares me
about this is those of us
00:15:32.55\00:15:35.01
who live in first world
think, think that we're exempt
00:15:35.02\00:15:39.20
some how from these issues
00:15:39.21\00:15:40.98
We hear it on the news
and we distance ourselves,
00:15:40.99\00:15:43.47
oh, that's in
Africa, that's in Asia,
00:15:43.48\00:15:45.74
that's in the middle
East and we fail to realize
00:15:45.75\00:15:48.28
that we live in this country
in a multi cultural country
00:15:48.29\00:15:52.51
and many of these things that
00:15:52.52\00:15:54.12
we're talking
about happen right here.
00:15:54.13\00:15:56.25
Yes. And for
example human trafficking,
00:15:56.26\00:15:59.58
I mean so many
women are trafficked
00:15:59.59\00:16:02.44
across international
lines and in this country
00:16:02.45\00:16:05.74
many women are bought here
00:16:05.75\00:16:07.01
and many women
are taken from here.
00:16:07.02\00:16:08.87
When I say many,
we're talking about
00:16:08.88\00:16:10.34
in the thousands every year.
00:16:10.35\00:16:11.76
See you know that
something that I often feel
00:16:11.77\00:16:14.80
that I live in this little
Christian bubble if you will,
00:16:14.81\00:16:18.49
not that working here
at 3ABN we have sometimes
00:16:18.50\00:16:24.72
it's almost overwhelming
00:16:24.73\00:16:26.43
the phone calls
that are coming in.
00:16:26.44\00:16:27.93
Yes. And the
testimonies that you hear
00:16:27.94\00:16:29.70
and it's you know
you have to do your best
00:16:29.71\00:16:33.89
to give it to the
Lord because as you pray
00:16:33.90\00:16:37.26
for these people
because it can be almost
00:16:37.27\00:16:39.64
an oppressive
thing, we-- you know
00:16:39.65\00:16:42.16
there are some days that we get
00:16:42.17\00:16:43.44
so many phone calls
like that, that it got be
00:16:43.45\00:16:45.28
able to impressive
and praise the Lord,
00:16:45.29\00:16:47.60
we hear the
victorious comments of people
00:16:47.61\00:16:53.39
who are coming up out of it,
00:16:53.40\00:16:54.71
people who had been
watching what the Lord
00:16:54.72\00:16:58.10
can do by watching 3ABN and
so that kind of balances it out
00:16:58.11\00:17:02.16
but that takes us and I
know that we've got a program
00:17:02.17\00:17:06.29
coming up that you
gonna be dedicating completely
00:17:06.30\00:17:09.42
to the End it Now campaign.
00:17:09.43\00:17:10.84
But lets go from
that to talk about
00:17:10.85\00:17:14.77
how these various
things, the abuse,
00:17:14.78\00:17:19.65
the illiteracy, the
things that are going on
00:17:19.66\00:17:22.09
around the world
here in United States,
00:17:22.10\00:17:24.17
how this impacts
women spiritually?
00:17:24.18\00:17:28.97
Yes. And I would like you--
00:17:28.98\00:17:31.34
Heather-Dawn, one
thing I love about you
00:17:31.35\00:17:33.45
is your transparency
and you went through
00:17:33.46\00:17:37.68
a dark period in your life,
tell us a little bit about that.
00:17:37.69\00:17:41.73
Well, one of the
things that I've discovered
00:17:41.74\00:17:44.23
through my own
experience and from
00:17:44.24\00:17:45.94
so many of my
sisters that I have met
00:17:45.95\00:17:48.36
is that life issues
impact on our spiritual life.
00:17:48.37\00:17:52.08
Amen. And one of
the ways that satan
00:17:52.09\00:17:54.20
uses for us women
especially is emotional
00:17:54.21\00:17:57.92
and when we look at
the issues of poverty
00:17:57.93\00:18:00.35
and women's health problems,
00:18:00.36\00:18:01.72
women's work loads
these things affect us
00:18:01.73\00:18:04.73
at the emotional level.
00:18:04.74\00:18:06.95
It begins in the mind
and when the mind begins
00:18:06.96\00:18:11.17
to get messed up
then our spiritual life
00:18:11.18\00:18:14.50
is definitely affected by it.
00:18:14.51\00:18:16.39
My own situation
happened and may be
00:18:16.40\00:18:19.62
I should just start with
now, I suffer from depression.
00:18:19.63\00:18:23.94
Okay. My depression came about
00:18:23.95\00:18:26.55
as a result of
life's experiences,
00:18:26.56\00:18:29.54
dealing with one
of life's big issues,
00:18:29.55\00:18:32.50
my first son died when he
was four years old back in 1985,
00:18:32.51\00:18:38.26
my depression
did not begin then.
00:18:38.27\00:18:40.13
And it was a tragic death.
00:18:40.14\00:18:41.70
It was a very tragic
death, it was my father's dog.
00:18:41.71\00:18:44.78
He had a Doberman dog,
he had two and one of them,
00:18:44.79\00:18:47.31
he attacked my son
and he died in hospital,
00:18:47.32\00:18:52.59
it all happened in
less than 60 minutes,
00:18:52.60\00:18:54.30
it was all over between
00:18:54.31\00:18:55.77
when he was
attacked and when he died.
00:18:55.78\00:18:58.80
I got a lot of good
advice from church members
00:18:58.81\00:19:01.13
and the thing that
really was said to me
00:19:01.14\00:19:03.12
was God gives-- he
gives and he takes away
00:19:03.13\00:19:07.43
praise the name of
the Lord and I did that.
00:19:07.44\00:19:10.54
My husband and I spiritually
grew closer to the Lord,
00:19:10.55\00:19:14.02
our marriage
which was on the verge
00:19:14.03\00:19:15.99
of collapsing at
that time, grew stronger.
00:19:16.00\00:19:19.46
Oh, that's-- that was God thing.
00:19:19.47\00:19:21.65
That was a God thing.
Actually it's the opposite.
00:19:21.66\00:19:23.87
No, this was, well, we
were on the other end of this
00:19:23.88\00:19:27.68
but I never did go
through the grieving process
00:19:27.69\00:19:31.26
and I just said, okay,
Lord you let this happen
00:19:31.27\00:19:37.43
for whatever reason and
I am just gonna leave it
00:19:37.44\00:19:39.49
in your hands and I am
gonna keep praising you.
00:19:39.50\00:19:41.49
Well 15 years later. 15 years.
00:19:41.50\00:19:45.03
No, 13 years later, I am sorry,
00:19:45.04\00:19:46.46
13 years later I was
working for the church
00:19:46.47\00:19:49.55
and like all good church workers
00:19:49.56\00:19:51.28
I was working my self to death.
00:19:51.29\00:19:52.94
I-- even though we don't
believe in salvation by works
00:19:52.95\00:19:57.74
I think there's
something inside of us that says
00:19:57.75\00:19:59.84
the harder you work
the easier it's gonna be
00:19:59.85\00:20:01.55
to get to the kingdom
00:20:01.56\00:20:02.64
and so I was really,
really killing myself.
00:20:02.65\00:20:05.07
I was not looking after myself,
00:20:05.08\00:20:06.91
I was busy looking
after everyone else
00:20:06.92\00:20:08.71
except me and I became ill.
00:20:08.72\00:20:12.39
My doctors didn't
know at first what it was,
00:20:12.40\00:20:14.52
I was tired all the
time, I was depressed
00:20:14.53\00:20:16.94
and then something
happened in my husband's church.
00:20:18.03\00:20:21.04
It was a 1998 New
Year's Eve service,
00:20:21.05\00:20:26.83
there was a
family in that church.
00:20:26.84\00:20:28.99
A mother and her little boy,
00:20:29.00\00:20:30.27
he had been involved
in a terrible accident
00:20:30.28\00:20:31.98
some six months
before and he had almost died
00:20:31.99\00:20:34.83
and the church had prayed,
00:20:34.84\00:20:36.13
we had prayed 24 hours
for this little boy's life
00:20:36.14\00:20:39.03
and God had saved him
00:20:39.04\00:20:40.17
and so that evening
at the new year service,
00:20:40.18\00:20:42.77
my husband invited people
00:20:42.78\00:20:44.32
who wanted to give
testimonies to come upfront.
00:20:44.33\00:20:46.87
Now I am the good
little pastor's wife
00:20:46.88\00:20:48.39
you know, I would
sit in the front row
00:20:48.40\00:20:49.61
so I could support my husband,
00:20:49.62\00:20:50.74
smile at him while he preached,
00:20:50.75\00:20:52.35
play the piano you
know, do all those things
00:20:52.36\00:20:53.76
that as good pastor's wives do
00:20:53.77\00:20:56.00
and so there I was sitting
00:20:56.01\00:20:57.63
and she passed to me
with this little boy,
00:20:57.64\00:21:00.07
he had a cap on his head
00:21:00.08\00:21:01.45
because his injury
had been to his head
00:21:01.46\00:21:04.70
and she was
praising God for him.
00:21:04.71\00:21:07.73
And as I sat there
with my very sick self
00:21:07.74\00:21:11.23
the devil leaned over and
whispered in my ear and said,
00:21:12.25\00:21:15.64
if God can save her son
why didn't he saved yours.
00:21:15.65\00:21:19.40
This was 13 years later,
00:21:19.41\00:21:21.97
I had never
thought of that question
00:21:21.98\00:21:24.77
and at that point in
time I was not physically,
00:21:24.78\00:21:30.04
spiritually,
emotionally prepared to deal
00:21:30.05\00:21:33.83
with the battle that
confronted me at that time.
00:21:33.84\00:21:37.05
And spiritually I say
because in my business
00:21:37.06\00:21:40.12
to do God's work I
wasn't spending time
00:21:40.13\00:21:42.84
with the God
whose work I was doing.
00:21:42.85\00:21:44.86
You're right, yes.
00:21:44.87\00:21:45.84
And it was the quick pray thing
00:21:45.85\00:21:48.36
not the deep bible
study commitment thing
00:21:48.37\00:21:52.22
and I remember sitting there
00:21:52.23\00:21:54.31
and an anger rose up within me
00:21:54.32\00:21:57.14
that I've never felt in my life.
00:21:57.15\00:21:58.97
I got so angry,
it was so instant,
00:21:58.98\00:22:01.71
well church service finished
00:22:01.72\00:22:05.08
and I slip through the side door
00:22:05.09\00:22:06.66
and I went to the car
and I sat down, I did--
00:22:06.67\00:22:08.68
Now let me ask you
this, you said you got angry,
00:22:08.69\00:22:12.10
who or what were you angry with?
00:22:12.11\00:22:13.42
I was angry with
God. Angry at God.
00:22:13.43\00:22:14.90
I was angry with God
00:22:14.91\00:22:15.94
because all of a sudden
it was so unfair, so unfair.
00:22:15.95\00:22:20.65
Her son lived and your's didn't.
00:22:20.66\00:22:22.25
Yeah, and its interesting
to note how satan set me up
00:22:22.26\00:22:26.13
because I would tell women
00:22:26.14\00:22:27.38
and I do tell them
satan will set you up. Amen.
00:22:27.39\00:22:30.76
He will use your weaknesses,
00:22:30.77\00:22:33.03
your lack of care for yourself
00:22:33.04\00:22:36.21
or external situations
and he will set you up
00:22:36.22\00:22:38.88
for the fall
and I've been set up
00:22:38.89\00:22:40.39
and I had actually given
him the tools to set me up.
00:22:40.40\00:22:43.38
But this little boy's
injury was to his head,
00:22:44.40\00:22:47.67
the dog bit my son
in his head, twice.
00:22:48.69\00:22:51.63
So the similarity between
the situation was uncanny
00:22:52.67\00:22:56.20
but I slipped out of church,
00:22:57.35\00:22:59.09
I went to the car and I sat down
00:22:59.10\00:23:00.44
and anger just kept building,
00:23:00.45\00:23:03.04
just building and I
kept thinking why Lord, why?
00:23:03.05\00:23:05.67
I didn't see this before,
why would you do this to me?
00:23:05.68\00:23:08.81
And thoughts of things
that people had said to me,
00:23:08.82\00:23:11.75
there was one
woman some years before
00:23:11.76\00:23:13.30
who had said to
me, Sister Small,
00:23:13.31\00:23:14.38
I know God has favorites
00:23:14.39\00:23:15.77
and I said of course
God doesn't have favorites,
00:23:15.78\00:23:17.49
he loves us all the same
00:23:17.50\00:23:19.61
but that night
that thought came back
00:23:19.62\00:23:21.20
and I thought well
yes, you do have favorites
00:23:21.21\00:23:23.25
because he's
alive and my sons dead.
00:23:23.26\00:23:26.34
And so after church was over
00:23:26.35\00:23:28.98
and my husband came to the car
00:23:28.99\00:23:30.26
when he finally got
away from the members,
00:23:30.27\00:23:32.48
he came and he
sat down in the car
00:23:32.49\00:23:34.16
and the kids were in the back
00:23:34.17\00:23:35.37
and he said, are you okay?
00:23:35.38\00:23:36.56
And I said, Uh-hmm,
00:23:36.57\00:23:38.53
because I was too
angry to even speak
00:23:38.54\00:23:41.20
And I remember all the
way home the car was quiet
00:23:41.21\00:23:43.30
and I heard my
kids in the back seat
00:23:43.31\00:23:45.10
whispering to each
other, what did you do?
00:23:45.11\00:23:47.83
I didn't do
anything, what did you do?
00:23:47.84\00:23:49.80
And my husband
finally said, kids, be quiet.
00:23:49.81\00:23:52.33
And so we drove home quietly,
00:23:52.34\00:23:53.78
I got into home,
went to the kitchen,
00:23:53.79\00:23:56.43
got dinner out, I
plunked everything on the table,
00:23:56.44\00:24:00.09
I mean I was
slamming kitchen doors
00:24:00.10\00:24:01.85
banging plates and pots.
00:24:01.86\00:24:03.72
I put everything on the table,
00:24:03.73\00:24:05.19
I didn't said a word to anyone,
00:24:05.20\00:24:06.64
I walked into the bedroom
and slammed my bedroom door
00:24:06.65\00:24:09.83
and I sat on the bed seething,
00:24:09.84\00:24:12.58
I've never been that
angry in my entire life
00:24:12.59\00:24:14.95
and it was a first time
00:24:14.96\00:24:15.96
I understood that word seething.
00:24:15.97\00:24:18.35
It's a boiling anger
that feels likes a volcano
00:24:18.36\00:24:21.21
just gonna erupt and my husband,
00:24:21.22\00:24:23.52
poor fellow decided he
was gonna come into the room
00:24:23.53\00:24:25.51
to see if he could
figure out what was going on
00:24:25.52\00:24:27.44
because he knew
there was something wrong
00:24:27.45\00:24:28.60
and he came into the
room and he sat next to me
00:24:28.61\00:24:31.26
and he touched my hand
00:24:31.27\00:24:32.29
and as he touched
my hand I pulled away.
00:24:32.30\00:24:34.62
And he said, honey what's wrong?
00:24:34.63\00:24:37.49
And I said nothing. He said no.
00:24:37.50\00:24:39.14
something's wrong,
tell me what's going on?
00:24:39.15\00:24:41.10
And I looked at him
and I remember I stood up
00:24:42.14\00:24:45.14
and I watched him and I
pointed my finger at him
00:24:45.15\00:24:47.58
and I okay,
Pastor Small you tell me,
00:24:47.59\00:24:50.77
why God saved that woman's
son and he let our son die?
00:24:50.78\00:24:54.79
And my husband was completely--
00:24:54.80\00:24:57.02
he was caught
off guard because--
00:24:57.03\00:24:58.45
Did he go through the grieving
process after your son died?
00:24:58.46\00:25:03.13
You know, he did and he
did it better than I did it
00:25:03.14\00:25:06.27
because he
collapsed after my son died,
00:25:06.28\00:25:08.79
he had to see the autopsy,
00:25:08.80\00:25:10.43
he had to because it
became a police case,
00:25:10.44\00:25:12.67
it was less than
60 minutes after death
00:25:12.68\00:25:16.00
and so he saw a
lot and he grieved.
00:25:16.01\00:25:18.28
I mean he fell apart,
00:25:18.29\00:25:19.91
I cried but It wasn't a
grieving sort of process,
00:25:19.92\00:25:24.13
I cried and then I stopped,
00:25:24.14\00:25:25.42
I made my self
stop and i said enough
00:25:25.43\00:25:28.23
and this was like one week
after he died. I said enough.
00:25:28.24\00:25:30.15
So you had all
of these unresolved
00:25:30.16\00:25:32.89
emotion in you there--
00:25:32.90\00:25:34.25
And I didn't even
know it was there.
00:25:34.26\00:25:36.06
Right, that was
the amazing thing,
00:25:36.07\00:25:37.79
it took just one
little thing to trigger it off
00:25:37.80\00:25:40.34
and so said
after I said out to him
00:25:40.35\00:25:43.06
and I said, you tell me why?
00:25:43.07\00:25:45.06
He kind of looked at
me and I said, you see,
00:25:45.07\00:25:46.99
you don't even
know, leave me alone.
00:25:47.00\00:25:48.53
And he got up
and he left the room.
00:25:49.54\00:25:52.35
And I remember I
fell asleep that night
00:25:52.36\00:25:54.99
and I woke up next morning
00:25:55.00\00:25:56.25
and I am a person of some,
00:25:56.26\00:25:58.23
I do some things in
the same way each day
00:25:59.44\00:26:02.85
and one of them is
doing my devotional life,
00:26:02.86\00:26:05.52
its first thing everyday.
00:26:05.53\00:26:06.62
So my bible is
always next to my bed
00:26:06.63\00:26:08.76
and I got up next morning,
00:26:08.80\00:26:10.15
didn't remember anything that
had happened the night before
00:26:10.16\00:26:12.33
and as my custom
was I picked up my Bible
00:26:12.34\00:26:14.89
and I opened it up
and I turned to the Psalms
00:26:14.90\00:26:17.08
because I love to
begin my devotional time
00:26:17.09\00:26:18.72
with praise and thanks giving
00:26:18.73\00:26:20.41
and I was
flipping though some Psalms
00:26:20.42\00:26:22.43
as this was my well marked Bible
00:26:22.44\00:26:24.50
so I knew just where to go,
00:26:24.51\00:26:25.69
its all color
coded and everything
00:26:25.70\00:26:27.35
and I was reading and
nothing seem to reach my heart
00:26:27.36\00:26:31.84
and so I thought,
let me go to the gospels
00:26:31.85\00:26:33.51
so I turned over to
the gospels and I thought,
00:26:33.52\00:26:35.34
let me read about Jesus
00:26:35.35\00:26:36.83
and as I began
to read something,
00:26:36.84\00:26:38.66
I remembered what
happened the night before.
00:26:38.67\00:26:42.13
And I looked at the
bible and I said to myself,
00:26:42.14\00:26:45.21
I am a third generation
Seventh-Day Adventist.
00:26:45.22\00:26:47.82
I've grown up in this church,
00:26:47.83\00:26:49.70
I've been in pathfinders,
I've been in master guides,
00:26:49.71\00:26:51.60
I know the word of God
00:26:51.61\00:26:52.68
and my son is still
dead, I don't want it. Amen.
00:26:52.69\00:26:56.11
And I closed that bible
and I put it back by my bed
00:26:56.12\00:26:58.53
and for three month I
didn't talk to the Lord.
00:26:59.64\00:27:01.56
I was so angry with
him, it was an anger
00:27:02.56\00:27:04.39
that I carried with me everyday,
00:27:04.40\00:27:06.19
it wasn't at the seething level
00:27:06.20\00:27:07.55
but it was just
under the surface
00:27:07.56\00:27:10.33
waiting to boil over and
I was still at that time--
00:27:10.34\00:27:14.09
Did your husband know that you--
00:27:14.10\00:27:15.79
He knew something
was wrong but he knew
00:27:15.80\00:27:17.35
I won't talk about it
00:27:17.36\00:27:18.35
because I wouldn't
give him any opportunity
00:27:18.36\00:27:20.16
and if he tried I
will shut him down.
00:27:20.17\00:27:21.84
So he didn't know that
you weren't in the word or--
00:27:21.85\00:27:23.76
No, no, he didn't realize that.
00:27:23.77\00:27:25.47
So on the surface
everything was just the same.
00:27:25.48\00:27:27.87
But you know how
good we are at pretending.
00:27:27.88\00:27:30.53
And at that time
besides being the pastor's wife
00:27:30.54\00:27:33.20
I was the Women's
Ministries director
00:27:33.21\00:27:35.36
for the union, Caribbean Union.
00:27:35.37\00:27:37.61
So you continued in
your ministry services.
00:27:37.62\00:27:39.64
Oh, I was
preaching, I was teaching,
00:27:39.65\00:27:43.30
I was traveling still, I
was still going to church
00:27:43.31\00:27:45.92
and smiling with the
members and hugging them
00:27:45.93\00:27:48.13
and doing everything
that I was acustomed doing
00:27:48.14\00:27:50.73
but in my heart
it was all an act.
00:27:50.74\00:27:53.40
I knew that God
and I were not talking
00:27:53.41\00:27:55.35
and I did not want
to talk to him. Wow.
00:27:55.36\00:27:58.43
Well my health
situation got worse
00:27:58.44\00:28:00.56
and one day at work
I actually passed out
00:28:00.57\00:28:04.04
and part of
that was from fatigue
00:28:04.05\00:28:06.21
because I wasn't sleeping
00:28:06.22\00:28:07.23
and my husband
didn't even know it.
00:28:07.24\00:28:08.61
I would spend
hours every night up
00:28:08.62\00:28:10.94
and sometimes I
would get back in bed
00:28:10.95\00:28:12.74
just before sunrise
so that he would think
00:28:12.75\00:28:16.71
that I had slept all night
00:28:16.72\00:28:17.86
when I had really
been up all night.
00:28:17.87\00:28:19.86
And so my body was
just completely worn out
00:28:19.87\00:28:22.18
and I passed out at work
and they took me to the hospital
00:28:22.19\00:28:25.33
and I remember
coming to in the E.R room
00:28:25.34\00:28:29.11
and all I remember saying was
00:28:29.12\00:28:32.06
and I could
picture it right now,
00:28:32.07\00:28:33.92
I was so fatigued, I
was so tired as lay there
00:28:33.93\00:28:38.84
and all I knew was that
I had been in a dark place
00:28:38.85\00:28:42.34
for a long time and
was I was tired of it.
00:28:42.35\00:28:45.69
And the only thing
I remember saying was,
00:28:45.70\00:28:48.45
please leave me
alone, let me die
00:28:48.46\00:28:50.45
just let me die, I want to die.
00:28:50.46\00:28:52.14
And the doctor, I
heard him said to my friend
00:28:53.18\00:28:57.66
who had come with
me from the office,
00:28:57.67\00:29:01.67
is she on drugs because
he didn't know who I was
00:29:01.68\00:29:03.99
and she said, no
she's not on drugs.
00:29:04.00\00:29:05.61
He said, then why is she
talking like this because
00:29:05.62\00:29:08.26
just the talk was so
exhausting and so I was--
00:29:08.27\00:29:11.38
I guess I was sounding slurred
00:29:11.39\00:29:13.22
but at that moment
in time I wanted to die.
00:29:13.23\00:29:17.28
Well, we went
form one thing to next,
00:29:17.29\00:29:18.93
I saw some
doctors, they tested me
00:29:18.94\00:29:20.57
and they finally said
that I was clinically depressed
00:29:20.58\00:29:24.22
and it had all
come about it seems
00:29:24.23\00:29:26.13
because of that event
that bought back so much stuff,
00:29:26.14\00:29:29.61
my husband decided
because my doctor said,
00:29:31.51\00:29:33.64
you need to take
time off and he said,
00:29:33.65\00:29:35.12
why don't you go out to
California by your sister,
00:29:35.13\00:29:37.80
now I am in Trinidad,
my sister is in California
00:29:37.81\00:29:40.55
and I said to him, No I
am not going by my sister
00:29:40.56\00:29:42.81
she's a psychologist and
if she knows I am depressed,
00:29:42.82\00:29:45.16
she will be
crawling through my brain,
00:29:45.17\00:29:46.61
she will be trying to
tell me about my childhood
00:29:46.62\00:29:49.52
and I am not
going and then he said,
00:29:49.53\00:29:51.35
no, you need to go
00:29:51.36\00:29:52.35
and I promise I
wont say a word to her.
00:29:52.36\00:29:54.78
And so I said, okay,
I finally was convinced
00:29:54.79\00:29:56.94
that I'll go because I
was too tired to do anything,
00:29:56.95\00:29:59.25
I was really tired
and so I packed my bags
00:29:59.26\00:30:02.28
and my custom was
as I packed my suitcase
00:30:02.29\00:30:05.84
the last thing I would do
was pick up my Bible from my bed
00:30:05.85\00:30:08.52
put it in my
suitcase and I did it,
00:30:08.53\00:30:10.60
it was automatic
action and then I realized
00:30:10.61\00:30:12.76
I am not even talking to you
00:30:13.60\00:30:14.70
and I out the
Bible back by the bed,
00:30:14.71\00:30:16.46
closed the
suitcase and off I went.
00:30:16.47\00:30:18.85
Well, I arrived in California
after a day of travel,
00:30:18.86\00:30:21.78
my sister and I hadn't seen
00:30:21.79\00:30:23.02
each other in about three years
00:30:23.03\00:30:24.10
so we were just
happy to see each other
00:30:24.11\00:30:26.04
and it was easy to
pretend to be happy
00:30:26.05\00:30:29.30
and so just before I went to bed
00:30:29.31\00:30:31.59
she came into the room
with a beautiful gift bag
00:30:31.60\00:30:34.46
and she said, this is for you,
00:30:34.47\00:30:36.33
I haven't seen you so long
00:30:36.34\00:30:38.46
that I just
bought you a few gifts
00:30:38.47\00:30:39.61
and I said, thank you so much
00:30:39.62\00:30:40.83
and I had some things
for her and I gave her
00:30:40.84\00:30:43.38
and I sat on the bed
00:30:43.39\00:30:44.38
and I took the
tissue out of that gift bag
00:30:44.39\00:30:46.27
and I pulled out three books.
00:30:46.28\00:30:47.80
Now I know till this
date that my sister didn't
00:30:49.48\00:30:51.21
know there was
anything wrong with me.
00:30:51.22\00:30:52.54
As a matter of fact when
she heard these testimonies
00:30:53.56\00:30:55.40
some years after
was really annoyed
00:30:55.41\00:30:57.15
that I had come to her
house in that condition
00:30:57.16\00:30:59.23
and had not told her.
00:30:59.24\00:31:00.95
So I pulled out
these three books
00:31:00.96\00:31:02.95
and the first book
was a book by Kay. Arthur
00:31:02.96\00:31:05.62
called Lord Heal My
Hurts and I was hurting.
00:31:05.63\00:31:09.49
The second book
was by Philip Yancy,
00:31:09.50\00:31:11.63
called Disappointment With God
00:31:11.64\00:31:13.26
and I was disappointed with God
00:31:13.27\00:31:15.83
and the third book was a Bible.
00:31:15.84\00:31:18.07
It sounds like
she knew everything
00:31:18.08\00:31:20.41
that you were going through.
00:31:20.42\00:31:21.69
The Lord was at
work. Yes he was--
00:31:21.70\00:31:23.07
And I remember, I
picked up that Bible
00:31:23.08\00:31:25.17
and I looked at it and I said,
00:31:25.18\00:31:27.00
okay Lord, I don't
want to talk to you
00:31:27.01\00:31:29.83
but you sure want to
talk to me so lets talk
00:31:29.84\00:31:32.33
and the next morning
when she went to work
00:31:33.36\00:31:35.35
and for the next two weeks,
00:31:35.36\00:31:36.50
everyday when she
would leave for work
00:31:36.51\00:31:38.01
I would wave a
good bye and smile,
00:31:38.02\00:31:40.73
lock the door,
go into my bedroom,
00:31:40.74\00:31:43.19
lock the door and sit on
the bed and scream at God,
00:31:43.20\00:31:47.44
I told him
everything that I felt
00:31:47.45\00:31:51.58
that I thought that
how much I hated him,
00:31:51.59\00:31:55.19
how much I was just hurting
00:31:55.20\00:31:57.90
and that he had done this to me
00:31:57.91\00:31:59.89
and I just let it all out
and day after day for two weeks
00:31:59.90\00:32:03.08
I would just sit
there every morning
00:32:03.09\00:32:05.32
for a period of
time and just tell him.
00:32:05.33\00:32:08.15
And I remember at
the end of the two weeks
00:32:09.20\00:32:10.80
I sat in the room and I thought
00:32:10.81\00:32:12.93
so what do I tell him today,
00:32:13.94\00:32:15.51
I didn't have anything
00:32:15.52\00:32:17.79
and I picked up
the Bible and I said,
00:32:17.80\00:32:19.56
okay, so you heard me
00:32:19.57\00:32:21.20
now its my turn to listen to you
00:32:22.20\00:32:25.31
and I began to read
from the Bible again.
00:32:25.32\00:32:27.76
And it was really because I
wanted God to prove himself,
00:32:27.77\00:32:31.16
I need you to prove
to me why you did this
00:32:31.17\00:32:33.66
but in the process of
doing that he began to heal me
00:32:33.67\00:32:36.85
and what I discovered
through that experience
00:32:36.86\00:32:39.04
was that so many
times we have so much stuff,
00:32:39.05\00:32:42.71
so much anger and depression
and disappointment with God
00:32:44.20\00:32:49.69
over a job that we've lost,
00:32:49.70\00:32:51.16
the situation
which we've gone through,
00:32:51.17\00:32:53.15
financial situations,
whatever it is we don't tell him
00:32:53.16\00:32:56.67
because somewhere in
our mind there is this thing
00:32:56.68\00:32:59.68
that you only praise God
00:32:59.69\00:33:01.12
and that why I love
the Book of Habakkuk
00:33:02.18\00:33:04.55
because Habakkuk was
really straight with God.
00:33:04.56\00:33:06.96
He just came out he said,
okay Lord, this is the case,
00:33:06.97\00:33:09.64
these are your
children what are you doing?
00:33:09.65\00:33:11.84
Why you let then go
through so much trouble
00:33:11.85\00:33:14.07
and so I learned then that
God can take my anger. Yes.
00:33:14.08\00:33:18.58
He can take my
pain and he takes it
00:33:18.59\00:33:21.44
because in return he
will give me something better.
00:33:21.45\00:33:23.82
Amen. That's true.
00:33:23.83\00:33:25.09
But if I don't give it to him
00:33:25.10\00:33:26.48
and I keep holding on to
it then he cant give it to me.
00:33:26.49\00:33:30.16
And you know sometime we--
00:33:30.17\00:33:32.05
you were expressing
your true emotions. Yes.
00:33:33.14\00:33:35.70
What you really
thought, how you really felt
00:33:35.71\00:33:38.32
and sometimes we have
those same feelings, emotions
00:33:38.33\00:33:41.89
and so forth but we
think we can never say
00:33:41.90\00:33:45.18
anything like that to God
00:33:45.19\00:33:46.52
like he doesn't
know how we really feel.
00:33:46.53\00:33:48.14
No, that's the truth.
It like it'll surprise God,
00:33:48.15\00:33:50.52
he will go, really.
00:33:50.53\00:33:52.01
But I think God knows that
there is healing in voicing.
00:33:52.02\00:33:55.87
In letting it out,
in talking to him. Amen.
00:33:55.88\00:33:59.71
And telling him
what's real, what's true
00:33:59.72\00:34:02.51
and at the same time
accept into ourselves
00:34:02.52\00:34:04.74
that I've been fooling myself
00:34:04.75\00:34:06.46
because really this
is how I feel about God.
00:34:06.47\00:34:09.82
And its only when I let it out,
00:34:09.83\00:34:12.85
when I speak it
and it's a letting go,
00:34:12.86\00:34:19.13
I am no longer
holding on to this pain,
00:34:20.14\00:34:22.30
I am letting it
go and to let it go
00:34:22.31\00:34:24.11
I need to speak it out. Right.
00:34:24.12\00:34:25.56
And when I do
that then that pipeline
00:34:25.57\00:34:28.41
between me and God is no longer
blocked, it's clear. Amen.
00:34:28.42\00:34:32.19
And His love and His
mercy and His compassion
00:34:32.20\00:34:36.09
can get through to me
00:34:36.10\00:34:37.36
and I could begin
that healing process
00:34:37.37\00:34:39.78
and I really
believe that God allowed me
00:34:39.79\00:34:43.44
to pass through one of the most,
00:34:43.45\00:34:46.00
if not the most
difficult time in my life
00:34:46.01\00:34:49.42
so that I would understand
how women are affected
00:34:49.43\00:34:54.98
by the issues that we deal with,
00:34:54.99\00:34:57.65
they effect us emotionally
00:34:57.66\00:34:59.68
and then they go
right to our spiritual side.
00:34:59.69\00:35:02.21
There are so many women
00:35:02.22\00:35:03.24
that I've met in so
many difficult situations
00:35:03.25\00:35:07.32
who said to me,
Sister Small, I can't pray.
00:35:07.33\00:35:09.35
Is that wrong, is that sinful?
00:35:09.36\00:35:11.92
And I said, no sweetie it's not,
00:35:11.93\00:35:14.22
its not, I understand. Right.
00:35:14.23\00:35:16.37
Because there is
that point in time
00:35:16.38\00:35:18.21
were you feel so
disconnected from God,
00:35:18.22\00:35:20.15
were you so
angry at your situation
00:35:20.16\00:35:22.45
or just so discouraged
that you can't voice a prayer.
00:35:22.46\00:35:27.02
Oh I know exactly what
you mean by that where--
00:35:27.03\00:35:30.40
and I would sit before the Lord
00:35:31.42\00:35:33.22
and couldn't get a word
out but I felt his presence
00:35:33.23\00:35:36.82
that's why he was there
00:35:36.83\00:35:38.27
but that's were we
need our sisters. Amen.
00:35:38.28\00:35:40.78
That's it. And
that are praying for us.
00:35:41.24\00:35:44.41
You know, when
you said that God,
00:35:44.42\00:35:47.48
he didn't cause it, he
allowed you to go through it,
00:35:47.49\00:35:49.53
it remind me of this scripture
00:35:49.54\00:35:50.83
and its one of my favorite
in second Corinthians chapter 1,
00:35:50.84\00:35:53.59
it says, "Blessed be God,
00:35:53.60\00:35:54.91
in Father of our
Lord Jesus Christ,
00:35:54.92\00:35:57.19
the Father of mercies,
and the God of all comfort;
00:35:57.20\00:36:00.73
Who comforts us in
all our tribulation,
00:36:00.74\00:36:03.13
that we may be
able to comfort those
00:36:03.14\00:36:05.40
who are in any
trouble, with the comfort
00:36:05.41\00:36:08.22
with which we
ourselves have receive
00:36:08.23\00:36:10.50
from the Lord." That's right.
00:36:10.51\00:36:11.86
And you know, what you
are saying I identify with,
00:36:11.87\00:36:15.81
I mean praise the
Lord that God got you
00:36:15.82\00:36:19.03
in such a quick turn
around if you will. Yes.
00:36:19.04\00:36:23.93
Because I went through,
not quite as horrific trauma
00:36:23.94\00:36:29.12
as you but I went
through a trauma in which
00:36:29.13\00:36:32.31
I was actually
enrolled in a ministry school
00:36:32.32\00:36:35.38
when I was very young
and my mother was bipolar
00:36:35.39\00:36:38.84
and she'd gone
off of her medication
00:36:38.85\00:36:40.73
and had a
terrible, terrible breakdown
00:36:40.74\00:36:45.04
and I came out of
school to attend to her,
00:36:45.05\00:36:48.96
I've been thought about faith
00:36:48.97\00:36:50.49
but I had received
erroneous teaching about faith
00:36:51.52\00:36:56.17
and I had developed faith
in faith not faith in God,
00:36:56.18\00:37:03.09
not trusting in God
but my faith was in faith,
00:37:03.10\00:37:06.50
that if I could just
have enough faith. Yes.
00:37:06.51\00:37:09.21
You could clock
yourself into it.
00:37:09.22\00:37:10.90
You know, God had to do
what I had faith to believe
00:37:10.91\00:37:14.06
and I prayed so hard
00:37:14.07\00:37:15.28
and it was a
very traumatic thing,
00:37:15.29\00:37:16.82
I may not go through
it all but my poor mother,
00:37:16.83\00:37:19.85
I allowed her to suffer her
00:37:19.86\00:37:21.07
for several months
before hospitalizing her
00:37:21.08\00:37:23.06
because I was
convinced was gonna--
00:37:23.07\00:37:25.42
To heal her up.
00:37:25.43\00:37:26.43
Yeah, He was gonna heal her,
00:37:26.44\00:37:27.57
he had to because
I had faith. Yeah.
00:37:27.58\00:37:29.74
And the bottom line is this,
00:37:29.75\00:37:31.89
it became a very
horrific situation,
00:37:33.95\00:37:36.62
I got so mad at the Lord
00:37:37.72\00:37:40.44
because it was such an
emotional trauma for me
00:37:40.45\00:37:42.91
to have to hospitalize her
00:37:42.92\00:37:44.09
because she always
hated me for doing that.
00:37:44.10\00:37:46.96
I got so mad at the Lord
00:37:46.97\00:37:49.72
that He didn't honor his
promises and honor my faith
00:37:49.73\00:37:53.87
that I remember
shaking my fist in his face
00:37:53.88\00:37:57.29
and saying it's a
lie you know, it's a lie.
00:37:57.30\00:38:01.61
All of this is a
lie and I walked away
00:38:01.62\00:38:04.62
from the Lord for nearly a year,
00:38:04.63\00:38:06.41
I mean I was a little
more rebellious than you were
00:38:06.42\00:38:09.63
and just empty inside but God--
00:38:09.64\00:38:13.89
you know, God does understand
00:38:13.90\00:38:15.60
and He never gave up on me,
00:38:15.61\00:38:17.34
I mean he was
constantly moving me.
00:38:17.35\00:38:20.66
Yeah, and to me one other things
00:38:20.67\00:38:22.94
that came out of that situation
00:38:22.95\00:38:24.92
was that God has thought to me
00:38:24.93\00:38:27.63
that just as out text says,
00:38:27.64\00:38:30.56
he will allows us to go
through difficult situations
00:38:30.57\00:38:33.89
because we live
in a world of pain.
00:38:33.90\00:38:36.93
Everywhere we look there
are people who are suffering,
00:38:36.94\00:38:40.01
there are women I mean--
00:38:40.02\00:38:42.92
I think my first introduction
to a suffering woman
00:38:42.93\00:38:46.79
was a young woman
I met in South Africa
00:38:46.80\00:38:49.18
when I first began to
work at general conference,
00:38:49.19\00:38:51.79
it was 2001 and I
had gone to South Africa
00:38:51.80\00:38:55.09
and this young woman came to me,
00:38:55.10\00:38:56.67
she must have been
23-24, she had a beautiful baby
00:38:56.68\00:39:00.57
and I love babies, I have
pictures of me with babies
00:39:00.58\00:39:02.78
all over the world, I
just love little babies.
00:39:02.79\00:39:05.19
And so I had taken
the baby and I was holding
00:39:05.20\00:39:07.09
while she was
sharing her story with me,
00:39:07.10\00:39:09.27
her husband, he
had contracted Aids
00:39:09.28\00:39:11.58
and hadn't told her
and he had given her Aids
00:39:11.59\00:39:15.40
and then she had become pregnant
00:39:15.41\00:39:17.63
and he died during her pregnancy
00:39:17.64\00:39:19.55
and this dear
little baby was born
00:39:19.56\00:39:21.09
and the baby praise God
00:39:21.10\00:39:22.60
was not born
with Aids. Praise God.
00:39:22.61\00:39:24.62
Had no H.I.V
virus but she was dying
00:39:24.63\00:39:29.39
and her question to me was,
00:39:29.40\00:39:31.24
Sister Small,
will you take my baby?
00:39:31.25\00:39:33.61
And my heart just broke,
00:39:35.02\00:39:37.05
I mean tear just began
coming began coming down my face
00:39:37.06\00:39:39.19
and I thought I would
love to take your baby
00:39:39.20\00:39:41.91
but I can't and it was my--
00:39:41.92\00:39:44.96
and I remember
standing there saying,
00:39:44.97\00:39:47.09
Lord what are you doing?
00:39:47.10\00:39:48.36
How could you put me
in a situation like this?
00:39:48.37\00:39:50.64
I don't know what to
say to this young women,
00:39:50.65\00:39:52.38
she's dying, she wants somebody
00:39:52.39\00:39:53.81
to look after her child,
she's looking for someone
00:39:53.82\00:39:56.12
that she think is gonna be
a good mother to her child,
00:39:56.13\00:39:59.44
what do I say to her?
00:39:59.45\00:40:00.89
And then I thought okay,
00:40:00.90\00:40:01.89
I need to find a social worker,
00:40:01.90\00:40:03.20
I need to find
someone and so I said,
00:40:03.21\00:40:05.40
stay right here and
I went with the baby,
00:40:05.41\00:40:07.20
I didn't realize I
was still holding the baby
00:40:07.21\00:40:08.75
and I went and I found
some and they found someone
00:40:08.76\00:40:11.16
and before you knew we had
a whole group of our sisters
00:40:11.17\00:40:13.70
who were there to
help her through this
00:40:13.71\00:40:15.84
and she did died
00:40:15.85\00:40:16.85
but her baby was
taken into a very good home.
00:40:16.86\00:40:19.41
But that was my first
introduction to the pain
00:40:19.42\00:40:22.55
that women
experience because of the issues
00:40:22.56\00:40:25.59
that we deal with
and its not only women,
00:40:25.60\00:40:28.34
its also our brothers. Yes.
00:40:28.35\00:40:30.34
And you know I want to
just interrupt for a second
00:40:30.35\00:40:32.43
because I do want to make
sure that we remind our viewers
00:40:32.44\00:40:36.17
that this is a live
program and we have a--
00:40:36.18\00:40:42.23
you can call in your
questions to live@3abn.org.
00:40:42.24\00:40:47.44
We have Heather-Dawn Small,
answers some will put you,
00:40:47.45\00:40:51.21
let the Lord speak
through you in the second hour
00:40:51.22\00:40:54.21
or you can call
us at 618-627-4651.
00:40:54.22\00:40:59.61
We also have a
free offer tonight
00:40:59.62\00:41:02.75
that goes along with this
00:41:02.76\00:41:03.97
and Mollie you want to
tell about the free offer.
00:41:03.98\00:41:06.18
Our free offer is 'Depression:
00:41:06.19\00:41:08.72
you're not alone'
and something that
00:41:08.73\00:41:11.59
Heather-Dawn
mentioned the little earlier
00:41:11.60\00:41:14.39
where she found
herself in a dark place
00:41:14.40\00:41:17.16
and the very first chapter
is the deep dark valley. Amen.
00:41:17.17\00:41:21.56
So if you find
yourself in a dark place
00:41:21.57\00:41:23.90
or you know someone
that's in that dark place,
00:41:23.91\00:41:26.25
just call us, freeoffer@3abn.org
is the email address
00:41:26.26\00:41:30.94
or again the phone
number is 618-627-4651,
00:41:30.95\00:41:35.56
ask for this little
book and I've read it
00:41:35.57\00:41:38.78
and I know it
will minister to you.
00:41:38.79\00:41:40.68
Yes, and don't forget
to get those questions
00:41:40.69\00:41:43.34
in to us at 618-627-4651
or send it to live@3abn.org
00:41:43.35\00:41:51.16
Heather-Dawn, there are a
lot of things that affects us,
00:41:51.69\00:41:56.23
you know I think I
shared with you earlier
00:41:56.24\00:41:58.24
now I will just share
this with our audience
00:41:58.25\00:42:01.08
that there's times--I was
generally a healthy person
00:42:01.09\00:42:05.47
and when I do
become ill, the first week
00:42:05.48\00:42:08.86
or so of that illness, I will
usually be praising the Lord
00:42:08.87\00:42:12.72
for allowing me to
be ill and to remember
00:42:12.73\00:42:17.00
because I think when I get sick
00:42:17.01\00:42:18.56
and you know
sometimes you forget
00:42:18.57\00:42:20.08
how miserable it is to be sick
00:42:20.09\00:42:22.77
and I'll be
saying Lord, thank you
00:42:22.78\00:42:24.16
that you allowed this
00:42:24.17\00:42:25.18
because now I will
be more compassionate
00:42:25.19\00:42:27.90
and I will
intercede more for people
00:42:27.91\00:42:30.55
who are sick but the
interesting thing is that
00:42:30.56\00:42:34.10
if you are sick for
say more than a week,
00:42:34.11\00:42:38.71
you know when
you're physically depressed
00:42:38.72\00:42:40.79
and you get down
then the next thing
00:42:40.80\00:42:43.29
that happens is it's
kind of like its tied,
00:42:43.30\00:42:46.83
the physical depression
it's like there this rope
00:42:46.84\00:42:49.43
and here is
your emotions up here
00:42:49.44\00:42:51.00
and after a while
you're sick and tired,
00:42:51.01\00:42:52.97
sick and tired and your
emotion start coming down.
00:42:52.98\00:42:56.12
Now you're emotionally depressed
00:42:56.13\00:42:58.65
and when I get emotionally
depressed guess what's next,
00:42:58.66\00:43:01.28
the spiritual life is just
like its been drugged down,
00:43:01.29\00:43:04.60
this is an anchor on you know,
00:43:04.61\00:43:06.12
dragging this thing down
and so all of these issues,
00:43:06.13\00:43:11.27
what are some of the main things
00:43:11.28\00:43:12.71
that you think are
problems around the world,
00:43:12.72\00:43:15.84
no matter where we go
that are effecting woman
00:43:15.85\00:43:19.48
either physically, emotionally
00:43:19.49\00:43:22.27
and then also it would
tie into the spiritual.
00:43:22.28\00:43:26.20
In Women's
Ministries, we have six issues,
00:43:26.21\00:43:28.57
which we focus on, six issues
00:43:28.58\00:43:30.92
that affect women globally
00:43:30.93\00:43:32.33
and this is not in some contries
00:43:32.34\00:43:34.72
but not others this
is in every country.
00:43:34.73\00:43:36.99
I am yet to go to a country
00:43:37.00\00:43:38.62
and not find any of these issues
00:43:38.63\00:43:41.14
they may be in
different percentages
00:43:41.15\00:43:43.04
but they are all there.
00:43:43.05\00:43:44.58
We have things like threats
to health, women's health,
00:43:44.59\00:43:47.71
we deal with so
many health issues
00:43:47.72\00:43:49.42
just too many is I
began to list them all
00:43:51.34\00:43:54.58
and again we don't
always look after ourselves,
00:43:54.59\00:43:57.19
we look after our families,
we look after the community,
00:43:57.20\00:44:01.29
we are the burden
bearers of society.
00:44:01.30\00:44:04.06
All the nurturer care
givers, we are-- That's right
00:44:04.07\00:44:05.90
And we feel like if we're
doing something for our self
00:44:05.91\00:44:08.42
that we're being selfish or so.
00:44:08.43\00:44:09.76
We feel little guilty. Right.
00:44:09.77\00:44:11.07
So the first one
that I would say is
00:44:11.08\00:44:12.93
women's health,
women's work load.
00:44:12.94\00:44:14.83
I am yet o meet one
women who will say to me,
00:44:14.84\00:44:17.01
I don't have enough
doing, give me something.
00:44:17.02\00:44:18.56
Oh, yeah. Who is this woman?
00:44:18.57\00:44:20.94
We're all over worked.
00:44:20.95\00:44:22.37
At some point in time we
want to get rid of stuff,
00:44:22.38\00:44:24.68
we don't want to take stuff on
00:44:24.69\00:44:25.92
but do keep taking stuff on,
00:44:25.93\00:44:27.77
so we have women's work load.
00:44:27.78\00:44:29.23
Than the issue of
poverty and that's a huge one.
00:44:29.24\00:44:32.85
I mean just thing
about a few years ago
00:44:32.86\00:44:34.91
in this country we
would have never thought
00:44:34.92\00:44:36.42
that poverty was a big
issue in the United States,
00:44:36.43\00:44:38.84
now we know
that's different. It is.
00:44:38.85\00:44:40.18
We know it's a huge issue here.
00:44:40.19\00:44:42.48
We have lack of
training, education is something
00:44:42.49\00:44:45.68
that we take for
granted. Yeah, that's--
00:44:45.69\00:44:47.41
But there are so many
women around the world
00:44:47.42\00:44:49.94
who would love to
be able to go to school
00:44:49.95\00:44:53.26
or to stay in
school or to progress
00:44:53.27\00:44:55.45
beyond the first
few years of school
00:44:55.46\00:44:57.95
who do not get that.
00:44:57.96\00:44:59.09
So may be who don't
even know how to read.
00:44:59.10\00:45:01.44
That's right and that's where
00:45:01.45\00:45:02.65
the next one comes
in, illiteracy. Okay.
00:45:02.66\00:45:05.30
How many people can not read?
00:45:05.31\00:45:06.49
I mean even in this country I--
00:45:06.50\00:45:09.22
and I know years ago
I used to be a teacher
00:45:09.23\00:45:12.10
and I could tell you
00:45:12.11\00:45:13.55
just from hearing
some of the young people
00:45:13.56\00:45:16.09
speak some listen to
some of my friend's sons,
00:45:16.10\00:45:19.42
sorry my son's friends speak,
00:45:19.43\00:45:21.53
some of these kids are
00:45:21.54\00:45:22.66
what I would term
functionally illiterate,
00:45:22.67\00:45:25.42
they've been in
school for all these years
00:45:25.43\00:45:27.23
but they've not
learned to read properly.
00:45:27.24\00:45:30.58
But they're
graduating from High School
00:45:30.59\00:45:32.96
and what's gonna happen to them.
00:45:32.97\00:45:35.09
So it's a
problem in third world,
00:45:35.10\00:45:37.72
it's a problem in first world
00:45:37.73\00:45:39.19
and then finally
the problem of abuse.
00:45:39.20\00:45:42.35
And all of these
issues impact women
00:45:43.44\00:45:47.22
on different
scales, at different times.
00:45:47.23\00:45:50.13
But you know, tonight we want to
00:45:50.14\00:45:52.60
not just discuss these problems,
00:45:52.61\00:45:53.90
we want to talk
about some of the solutions
00:45:53.91\00:45:55.80
and here's
something that's interesting.
00:45:55.81\00:45:58.41
I have always
maintained in my life
00:45:58.42\00:46:01.84
that if I have a problem
00:46:01.85\00:46:04.08
and I will say
this that you know,
00:46:04.09\00:46:05.98
if I have an emotional problem
00:46:05.99\00:46:07.47
that I am dealing with,
00:46:07.48\00:46:08.50
I'll say its
usually a spiritual issue
00:46:08.51\00:46:10.63
and typically if I get
back into the word and praying,
00:46:10.64\00:46:15.94
I can pray me self though that.
00:46:15.95\00:46:17.90
Most recently, I am beginning
to understand the deeper issue
00:46:17.91\00:46:24.46
because for the past year,
00:46:24.47\00:46:26.64
there were
something going on in my life
00:46:27.91\00:46:30.39
that everything
that I love to do,
00:46:30.40\00:46:33.29
I had to push myself.
00:46:34.30\00:46:35.40
I mean I wasn't motivated,
00:46:35.41\00:46:36.71
I had to push
myself to do everything
00:46:36.72\00:46:38.86
and I finally went to the doctor
00:46:38.87\00:46:40.83
and I went to an Endocrinologist
00:46:40.84\00:46:42.29
actually is where I ended up
00:46:42.30\00:46:43.84
and that's a doctor who
specializes in your hormones
00:46:43.85\00:46:47.84
and they did some
thyroid studies on me
00:46:47.85\00:46:51.42
and as I explained it to him,
00:46:51.43\00:46:52.76
I told him you know,
00:46:52.77\00:46:54.22
I am not a
depressed personality.
00:46:54.23\00:46:55.72
I don't feel sad,
00:46:55.73\00:46:56.82
I don't really
think I am depressed
00:46:56.83\00:46:58.53
but I am so unmotivated
and it's so unlike me,
00:46:58.54\00:47:02.39
its like I had to force
myself to get in the Bible,
00:47:02.40\00:47:04.90
and I love to
study the word of God
00:47:04.91\00:47:07.56
but it was something that
I had to just force myself
00:47:07.57\00:47:10.43
to really do and I don't
know what's wrong with me
00:47:10.44\00:47:15.22
and he came back
after looking at the studies
00:47:15.23\00:47:17.62
and everything and he said,
00:47:17.63\00:47:18.69
your thyroids
crashing, you know he said,
00:47:18.70\00:47:21.07
had you not
come in when you did,
00:47:21.08\00:47:23.51
you would have been
in a deep depression.
00:47:23.52\00:47:25.74
So the answer to--
00:47:25.75\00:47:29.38
we don't want to be
so light hearted tonight
00:47:29.39\00:47:32.38
or so--what I want to just--
00:47:32.39\00:47:35.35
what I am trying to say,
00:47:35.36\00:47:36.37
just to cover
things over and say that
00:47:36.38\00:47:38.66
just to speaking the
word or reading the word
00:47:38.67\00:47:41.58
or just praying is the answer--
00:47:41.59\00:47:43.75
I put the do
more trip on somebody,
00:47:43.76\00:47:46.21
if you would pray more if
you would read God's word more.
00:47:46.22\00:47:48.48
You wouldn't be
in this depression.
00:47:48.49\00:47:49.74
And I've heard
that so many times,
00:47:49.75\00:47:51.09
I mean there are times
when I shared my testimony
00:47:51.10\00:47:53.04
and some well meaning
sisters comes to me and says,
00:47:53.05\00:47:55.72
Oh Sister Small,
you just need to claim
00:47:55.73\00:47:57.11
the promises of God
more, you need to go into
00:47:57.12\00:47:59.26
the Psalms more,
you need to praise God
00:47:59.27\00:48:01.33
more or sing
your depression away.
00:48:01.34\00:48:03.55
Well you know that when
you're clinically depressed
00:48:03.56\00:48:05.79
that doesn't work
and it doesn't work
00:48:05.80\00:48:07.74
when your stomach is empty.
00:48:07.75\00:48:09.54
That's right and it doesn't work
00:48:09.55\00:48:10.96
when your husband
has just beaten you,
00:48:10.97\00:48:12.74
it doesn't work. Right.
00:48:12.75\00:48:14.39
What you need is love and care.
00:48:14.40\00:48:18.06
That's what you need
00:48:18.07\00:48:19.40
and when I think
about ministering,
00:48:19.41\00:48:23.74
serving because
like I said earlier,
00:48:23.75\00:48:26.23
ministry means to serve
00:48:26.24\00:48:27.33
that's why we call
it Women's Ministry
00:48:27.34\00:48:29.07
because the word
ministry means to serve
00:48:29.08\00:48:31.15
and that's why God has
called each of us to do,
00:48:31.16\00:48:32.98
to go into the community
and serve as Jesus served,
00:48:32.99\00:48:36.01
we read it here just at
the start of the program
00:48:36.02\00:48:40.44
Isaiah 61, Jesus came to serve
00:48:40.45\00:48:43.01
to heal those who was sick,
00:48:43.02\00:48:45.21
those who were mourning,
00:48:45.22\00:48:46.43
those who were in deep despair
00:48:46.44\00:48:48.94
but how do we
take the word of God,
00:48:49.97\00:48:51.79
how do we take this out
to world of people in pain
00:48:51.80\00:48:55.68
and that to me where
the rubber hits a road
00:48:55.69\00:48:58.80
because its more
than just a Bible study,
00:48:59.80\00:49:02.32
its more than just
evangelistic meetings,
00:49:02.33\00:49:04.64
its dealing with the
pain that people are facing.
00:49:04.65\00:49:08.15
Its doing what Jesus did,
00:49:08.16\00:49:09.72
he ministered to
the physical needs,
00:49:09.73\00:49:12.33
emotional needs first and then
00:49:12.34\00:49:14.63
brought them into the message.
00:49:14.64\00:49:15.67
Yeah, but somehow we
still haven't got that.
00:49:15.68\00:49:18.43
In Women's Ministries
we've really made our focus
00:49:19.72\00:49:22.45
over the past five
years to look at the issues
00:49:22.46\00:49:27.16
which we face and what can we do
00:49:27.17\00:49:30.60
to bring Jesus to people's life
00:49:30.61\00:49:33.88
who need him but
who don't want him
00:49:34.10\00:49:36.37
or who at that point in time
00:49:36.38\00:49:38.45
in their life's
cannot deal with it.
00:49:38.46\00:49:40.98
They are not mentally,
00:49:40.99\00:49:42.03
physically or
emotionally prepared.
00:49:42.04\00:49:44.28
And there a
little story that I tell
00:49:44.29\00:49:45.95
and I have to tell
you its not a true story,
00:49:45.96\00:49:48.71
it was years ago
when I had a sermon to do
00:49:48.72\00:49:50.98
and I wanted a story to fit
in with this particular thing
00:49:50.99\00:49:53.81
and I couldn't think of one
00:49:53.82\00:49:54.81
and so I made up
this little story
00:49:54.82\00:49:56.64
but where ever I tell it
just people's expressions
00:49:56.65\00:49:59.08
look like if they
really believe this happen
00:49:59.09\00:50:00.63
but it didn't
happen so I make it up,
00:50:00.64\00:50:02.78
this do not happen
00:50:02.79\00:50:04.03
but think about this,
00:50:04.04\00:50:05.47
your home it's a Sunday morning,
00:50:05.48\00:50:07.10
there was this lovely lady,
00:50:07.11\00:50:08.31
Sunday morning she's home
00:50:08.32\00:50:09.82
and she hears a voice
calling outside by her gate,
00:50:09.83\00:50:11.97
she looks through her kitchen
00:50:11.98\00:50:13.12
and she sees this old
beggar man outside by her gate,
00:50:13.13\00:50:15.76
all street,you
know he's obviously
00:50:15.77\00:50:18.76
in some kind of trouble,
his cloths are all raggedy
00:50:18.77\00:50:22.67
and she goes on by
the gate and she says,
00:50:22.68\00:50:24.46
can I help you
and he says to her,
00:50:24.47\00:50:25.94
please, lady please I
am so sick, can you help me
00:50:25.95\00:50:29.27
and she says yes I can
help you wait right there
00:50:29.28\00:50:31.51
and this is a
good Christian women,
00:50:31.52\00:50:33.23
she goes back into her
house, she grabs her bible,
00:50:33.24\00:50:35.33
she goes outside and
she says, let me tell you.
00:50:35.34\00:50:38.02
Let me share with
you the word of God
00:50:38.03\00:50:40.34
and she begins to
read him from the Psalm,
00:50:40.35\00:50:41.88
she said, the Psalms
have such comfort in words
00:50:41.89\00:50:43.98
and she begins to read from it,
00:50:43.99\00:50:45.33
"thou I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
00:50:46.54\00:50:48.43
I will feel no
evil" and beautiful words
00:50:48.44\00:50:50.52
but as reads he falls
down because he's so weak,
00:50:50.53\00:50:53.86
he's sick, he's dying
and she looks over him
00:50:53.87\00:50:57.18
and she says, wait let
me tell you about Jesus
00:50:57.19\00:50:59.35
and so she turns to the Gospels
00:50:59.36\00:51:00.78
and she starts tell
him about this Jesus
00:51:00.79\00:51:02.36
who came to the
world and died for his sins
00:51:02.37\00:51:04.65
and as she's
talking and telling him
00:51:04.66\00:51:06.15
and reading
from the word of God,
00:51:06.16\00:51:07.64
he dies and she
looks up from her reading
00:51:07.65\00:51:11.41
and she realizes that
this poor man has died
00:51:11.42\00:51:13.98
and she closes her bible
and she says thank you Lord,
00:51:13.99\00:51:16.78
that you allowed me to witness
to this man before he died.
00:51:16.79\00:51:19.75
Now put like that it seems
ludicrous, who would do that?
00:51:21.60\00:51:25.87
But we do it all the time.
00:51:25.88\00:51:28.33
We go into people's lives,
00:51:28.34\00:51:29.82
we knock on their doors,
00:51:29.83\00:51:31.03
we go into their
homes with our Bible
00:51:31.04\00:51:33.07
and our Bible lessons and
we give them beautiful lessons
00:51:33.08\00:51:36.62
and we never
consider what is the pain
00:51:36.63\00:51:39.38
that's going on in here,
00:51:39.39\00:51:40.71
what can I do to help
the process in this house,
00:51:40.72\00:51:44.99
what can I do?
00:51:45.00\00:51:46.23
Because I will
tell you something
00:51:46.24\00:51:47.49
and this happened to me years go
00:51:47.50\00:51:50.40
and you know its
different experiences like these
00:51:50.41\00:51:52.77
that God has put together
and said, okay this is it,
00:51:52.78\00:51:55.02
this is the real deal.
00:51:55.03\00:51:56.47
Sitting down with
this beautiful lady
00:51:56.48\00:51:58.61
one Sunday
morning, went to her home,
00:51:58.62\00:52:00.57
Bible in hand, Bible lessons,
00:52:00.58\00:52:02.15
knocked on her door,
00:52:02.16\00:52:03.30
she invited us in, we went in
00:52:03.31\00:52:04.50
and we sat down by
her dining room table
00:52:04.51\00:52:07.96
and of course open up my lesson
00:52:07.97\00:52:09.65
and began telling
her and she stopped me
00:52:09.66\00:52:11.64
and she said, I
don't want to hear that.
00:52:11.65\00:52:12.93
And I said, dont you
want to know about God.
00:52:13.95\00:52:16.80
She said, where was God,
00:52:16.81\00:52:17.82
last night when my
husband beat me? Right.
00:52:17.83\00:52:19.83
See now I wasn't ready for that,
00:52:21.19\00:52:22.50
nobody had trained me for that.
00:52:22.51\00:52:23.95
I don't know what
to say to this woman.
00:52:23.96\00:52:25.41
What should I
say, the God was there,
00:52:26.78\00:52:28.32
no that wouldn't sound right,
00:52:29.32\00:52:30.79
then why didn't he stop it?
00:52:30.80\00:52:32.67
What do you say?
00:52:32.68\00:52:34.32
And I left that
house that day knowing that
00:52:34.33\00:52:37.70
I had not
answered person's question
00:52:37.71\00:52:40.83
but also knowing that
00:52:40.84\00:52:41.95
I was lacking
something in my own self.
00:52:41.96\00:52:44.57
Realizing, I am thinking
about all the platitudes
00:52:44.58\00:52:47.85
that I've given
people, don't worry sister,
00:52:47.86\00:52:49.44
I will pray for you, God
will see you through this.
00:52:49.45\00:52:52.17
He--just be strong.
00:52:52.18\00:52:54.46
Those are nice words
00:52:54.47\00:52:55.94
but when you are
in that situation,
00:52:55.95\00:52:58.46
those words are just words.
00:52:58.47\00:53:01.66
What I wanted and what
that person need is someone
00:53:01.67\00:53:04.75
who's gonna come and say,
00:53:04.76\00:53:06.97
I know you are hurting
00:53:06.98\00:53:08.17
what can I do to
help? How can I be with--
00:53:08.18\00:53:10.48
Somebody that can listen to you
00:53:10.49\00:53:12.32
and they don't need
your pearls of wisdom,
00:53:12.33\00:53:14.45
they need your hearing
and they need your shoulder.
00:53:14.46\00:53:16.76
Sometimes they
need a plate of food,
00:53:16.77\00:53:18.73
sometimes they need
someone to go with them
00:53:18.74\00:53:20.37
to the doctor or someone to go
00:53:20.38\00:53:22.03
with them to the-- A shelter.
00:53:22.04\00:53:25.06
Yeah, they need real Christians
00:53:25.07\00:53:28.91
and I tell our church
members that the people
00:53:28.92\00:53:31.47
that we have to
minister outside of these walls
00:53:31.48\00:53:34.12
call the church
are real people. Right.
00:53:34.13\00:53:36.60
These are people
with real issues,
00:53:36.61\00:53:38.43
they don't want fake Christians,
00:53:38.44\00:53:40.12
they don't want
Christians who walk around
00:53:40.13\00:53:41.61
saying praise the lord
hallelujah every two seconds
00:53:41.62\00:53:44.22
because they need to know
that you understand my pain
00:53:44.23\00:53:47.56
and that is why I
thank God for my pain. Amen.
00:53:47.57\00:53:51.83
Because, it's
because of my son's death,
00:53:51.84\00:53:53.83
because of my
depression that I struggled
00:53:53.84\00:53:55.68
with everyday even
with my medication,
00:53:55.69\00:53:57.83
because of the issues
that I face in my life
00:53:57.84\00:54:00.77
that he has given me a heart
00:54:00.78\00:54:03.02
that has compassion
for someone else's pain.
00:54:03.03\00:54:06.44
You know, you
mention something there,
00:54:06.45\00:54:08.97
you take medication you mention
00:54:08.98\00:54:10.97
that to us earlier. Yes I do.
00:54:10.98\00:54:12.38
Some people are so ashamed
00:54:12.39\00:54:13.88
that they have
to take medication.
00:54:13.89\00:54:15.49
Well, we are very ashamed
to even talk about it. Right.
00:54:15.50\00:54:17.28
And in Women's
Ministries one other things
00:54:17.29\00:54:19.57
that we have been talking about
00:54:19.58\00:54:21.08
is the impact of these issues
00:54:21.09\00:54:24.04
on women's mental health. Yes.
00:54:24.05\00:54:26.52
You see, in the church
the word mental health,
00:54:26.53\00:54:28.85
we don't talk about that stuff.
00:54:29.85\00:54:31.39
We could talk about diabetics,
00:54:31.40\00:54:32.46
we can talk about heart disease,
00:54:32.47\00:54:33.50
we could talk
about anything else
00:54:33.51\00:54:35.97
but we don't talk
about mental health
00:54:35.98\00:54:37.80
because Christians
are not supposed to have
00:54:37.81\00:54:39.95
mental health problems.
00:54:39.96\00:54:41.51
Those are issues
that non Christians have,
00:54:41.52\00:54:43.66
we don't want to
deal with that stuff
00:54:43.67\00:54:44.86
but you know what
as I read my Bible,
00:54:44.87\00:54:47.67
I see some people who had
some mental health issues. Yes.
00:54:47.68\00:54:50.61
I look at Elijah, who
went from a mountain top
00:54:50.62\00:54:52.79
experience to a
depression. Amen. Right.
00:54:52.80\00:54:55.03
To the point
where he ran from God,
00:54:56.03\00:54:57.67
I mean he was just
running and he had no idea
00:54:57.68\00:54:59.97
where he was going but
he was so scared he ran
00:54:59.98\00:55:02.55
and I think about David,
00:55:02.56\00:55:03.93
when I read
some of David psalms,
00:55:03.94\00:55:05.98
talk about
bipolar you know the man
00:55:05.99\00:55:09.20
will go from one
high to an extreme low
00:55:09.21\00:55:12.70
but these were real
people who had real issues
00:55:12.71\00:55:16.93
and I meet with them--
00:55:16.94\00:55:18.04
And God loved them
and used them anyway.
00:55:18.05\00:55:20.10
And he used them
00:55:20.11\00:55:21.58
and I met so many
of my sisters who said,
00:55:21.59\00:55:25.09
Sister Small I am so
glad you shared that with us
00:55:25.10\00:55:28.26
because I didn't know
I could talk about that.
00:55:28.27\00:55:30.55
Do you mean I can
take some medication?
00:55:31.56\00:55:32.93
I said you better had. Yes.
00:55:32.94\00:55:35.03
Because the truth is
and not all depression
00:55:35.04\00:55:40.01
is from the same cause,
00:55:40.02\00:55:41.57
some of it is
chemical imbalance,
00:55:41.58\00:55:43.78
some of it is situational,
there are different causes
00:55:43.79\00:55:46.65
but until you can get
out of that dark place,
00:55:47.78\00:55:51.49
you cant pray, you
can't even function properly,
00:55:51.50\00:55:55.18
just functioning
because depression has
00:55:55.19\00:55:57.43
so many side
effects or symptoms,
00:55:57.44\00:56:01.11
tiredness, body
pain, just so many things
00:56:01.12\00:56:05.50
and so until you
can deal with life again
00:56:05.51\00:56:09.68
which is for many of
us get on some medication.
00:56:09.69\00:56:13.15
When you get on that
medication and your chemicals
00:56:13.16\00:56:16.24
are balanced off
all of the sudden
00:56:16.25\00:56:17.98
is that though you
stepped out of a dark closet.
00:56:17.99\00:56:21.01
Now I can go back into the word,
00:56:21.02\00:56:23.07
now I can look at my diet
00:56:23.08\00:56:24.75
and see how I can improve
my health nutritional ways,
00:56:24.76\00:56:28.52
now I can get on
that exercise program,
00:56:28.53\00:56:30.85
now I could make
good decisions for myself.
00:56:30.86\00:56:33.22
In that dark place
all I want to do is die.
00:56:33.23\00:56:35.65
You know, I want you
to hold on to that up
00:56:36.99\00:56:39.76
because I want to make certain--
00:56:39.77\00:56:41.86
Heather-Dawn, you are touching
on some very real places
00:56:41.87\00:56:47.62
of people's heart tonight
00:56:47.63\00:56:49.52
and that what I
appreciate so much about you
00:56:49.90\00:56:52.21
and we want to be
sure and give all of you
00:56:52.22\00:56:55.63
the opportunity to
call in your questions
00:56:55.64\00:57:00.12
at--or you can send your
questions to live@3abn.org
00:57:00.13\00:57:05.89
or you can call
us at 618-627-4651
00:57:05.90\00:57:13.48
and we're going to
take your questions
00:57:13.49\00:57:16.06
in the second hour, even
if you have prayer request,
00:57:16.07\00:57:18.69
you can send
your prayer request in
00:57:18.70\00:57:20.48
because we will
definitely pray for all of you
00:57:20.49\00:57:25.33
who send in your prayer request
00:57:25.34\00:57:27.39
but its important that you
get these questions answered
00:57:27.40\00:57:30.52
while you had someone here
who can really give you that
00:57:30.53\00:57:32.98
straight talk and
we're gonna come back
00:57:32.99\00:57:35.48
in just a few
moments and talk some more
00:57:35.49\00:57:38.98
with Heather-Dawn
Small, the Director of
00:57:38.99\00:57:41.65
the Women's Ministries
of the General Conference
00:57:41.66\00:57:44.41
of Seventh-day
Adventist. Thank you.
00:57:44.42\00:57:46.75