Participants:
Series Code: TL
Program Code: TL018527B
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00:18 GUEST. ANGIE, HOPEFULLY YOU'RE ABLE TO
00:23 JOIN US FOR THE FIRST HOUR. LET ME JUST READ THIS TITLE TO 00:26 YOU. WITH TITLES. 00:31 TO HAVE AND TO HOLD ON. IT HAS TO DO WITH BUILDING THE 00:34 MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP. WE'RE ALL INVOLVED IN DIFFERENT 00:37 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS. BUT PASTOR AGAIN JUST GIVE US A 00:41 QUICK SUMMARY OF WHAT WE COVERED IN THE FIRST HOUR. 00:43 WE HAVE A LOT MORE TO AND YOU HAVE SOME GREAT PICTURES. 00:52 I TOLD YOU THAT I HAVE ONE HERE. WE'RE ASKD A QUESTION. 01:10 CALL US AT 618-627-4651. THE CALL CENTER IS OPEN TONIGHT. 01:14 618-627-4651 WE WANT TO KNOW HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED. 01:22 WE'RE GOING TO SEND A SPECIAL GIFT TO THE COUPLE WHO HAS BEEN 01:26 MARRIED THE LONG US OR E-MAIL US AT LIVE@3ABN.TV. 01:32 WONDERFUL A TIME HERE TONIGHT, BUT MAYBE YOU HAVE A SERIOUS 01:36 QUESTION REGARDING A RELATIONSHIP ISSUE THAT YOU'RE 01:40 ENCOUNTERING RIGHT NOW. OR YOU HAVE A MATTER FOR SPECIAL 01:43 PRAYER. >> WE'RE GETTING SOME OF THOSE 01:49 QUESTIONS WE HAVE AN OUTLINE THAT WE WANT TO CONTINUE WITH, 01:52 BUT WE WANT TO GET TO SOME OF THESE QUESTIONS. 01:56 THE CALL CENTER OR THE E-MAIL. >> ARE YOU GOING TO TELL US? 02:01 >> YES, YES. >> I HONESTLY DIDN'T LOSE IT ON 02:08 PURPOSE. RIGHT. 02:13 OH, GOOD. >> CELEBRATING THEIR 02:22 68TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY BY NEXT WEEK. 02:28 SO FOR 68 YEARS NEXT WEEK. >> THAT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY. 02:38 >> THEY HAVE 12 CHILDREN, A DOZEN CHILDREN. 02:43 >> ABRAHAM AND SARA? >> IT DOESN'T GIVE THE NAME 02:46 HERE, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M MISSING IT, BUT THEY'RE FROM 02:49 MISSOURI. SO PASTOR, A SUMMARY REALLY 02:56 QUICK AND THEN CONTINUATION. >> MARRIAGE IS A DIVINE 03:00 RELATIONSHIP IN HUMAN VESSELS AND MARRIAGE IS: 03:04 >> THE REFLECTION OF DIVINE LIVE FLU HUMAN VESSEL STRESS--THROUGH HUMAN 03:12 VESSEL AS SOON AS AND IT'S THROUGH ESTEEM. 03:17 FIRST HOUR. WE WANT TO SHOW A COUPLE OF 03:20 PICTURES. >> OH, GOOD. 03:42 >> THIS IS PICTURES MUCH US THROUGH THE YEARS. 03:45 HE WROTE A SONG CALLED "DESTINED TO BE ONE" AND THAT JUST TOUCHES 03:51 MY HEART. >> AND THEN A CD "NEVER ALONE," 03:56 THAT'S ON " "DESTINED TO BE ONE." THIS IS MY WIFE AND I. 04:03 THIS ISN'T TOO LONG AGO. THIS IS IN NEW YORK. 04:06 WE WERE INVITED THERE LAST YEAR. >> IT LOOKS LIKE A STUDIO 04:22 PICTURE. >> YOU'RE DOING A SEMINAR. 04:25 >> I WAS THERE TO SPEAK TO THE OAKWOOD ALUMNI. 04:29 BUT THIS IS SPECIAL FOR US. >> LET'S LOOK AT THAT. 04:44 >> ON THE RIGHT WHEN WE CELEBRATED OUR 25TH ANNIVERSARY. 04:49 >> A BEAUTIFUL COUPLE. >> I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT PICTURE 04:52 IS 10 YEARS AGO. >> NOW MARRIED 35 NOW. 04:57 >> 35 YEARS. LOT, AND EVERY DAY WE HAVE 05:02 LAUGH. >> OR SOMEBODY ELSE. 05:05 YEAH. WE STUDY RIGHT NOW WE'RE GOING 05:09 THROUGH-- AND KINGS. 05:14 >> AS WELL AS THE BIBLE. BUT WE STUDY TOGETHER. 05:17 IT'S SO IMPORTANT. >> THAT'S POWERFUL. 05:27 SO SHE GETS UP EARLIER THAN I DO. 05:32 DO MY CLOUDY EYES TO READ A DEVOTION WITH HER AND PRAY 05:35 BEFORE SHE RUNS OUT THE DOOR. AND THEN THE EVENING IS WHEN 05:38 WE-- WE HAVE A LAMP OVER OUR BED. 05:44 JUST NICE AND BRIGHT. AND WE READ THE BIBLE TOGETHER. 05:48 AND THEN SHE CARRIES ME THROUGH PROPHETS AND KINGS TOGETHER. 05:51 WE'RE GOING THROUGH OUR BIBLE TOGETHER FOR THE SECOND TIME. 05:54 I NEVER FORGOT WHEN WE--WE WERE IN PARADISE, CALIFORNIA, WHEN WE 05:58 WERE READING THE CHAPTER WHERE JOSEPH-- 06:03 >> OH, WHERE HE DIES. >> I LOOKED OVER TO ANGIE, AND I 06:08 SAID ARE YOU OKY? SHE SAID--I WANT TO MEET JOSEPH. 06:13 >> AAH. >> I WAS GOING TO ASK WHAT MAKES 06:27 A MARRIAGE STRONG. WE'VE TALKED ABOUT NOT 06:30 GOSSIPPING ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE OR THEIR FALSES WITH OTHER PEOPLE. 06:34 WHAT ARE SOME OTHER KEYS TO MAKE A MARRIAGE STRONG? 06:37 >> WELL, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE. 06:40 >> TO EACH OTHER. >> NOT TO ANYBODY ELSE. 06:54 >> SOMETIMES WE'LL GO TO RESTAURANTS AND THEY'RE JUST 06:56 SITTING THERE ON THEIR PHONE. DON'T THEY HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY 07:02 TO EACH OTHER? >> SOMETIMES THERE WILL BE 07:08 AND THEIR HUSBAND AND WIFE. AND THEY LOOK UP FOR THEIR FOOD 07:13 AND THEN BACK TO THEIR DEVICES. THERE ARE KEYS TO COMMUNICATE. 07:16 WE'VE LEARNED BECAUSE IN THE NINE YEARS OF DATING, ANGIE AND 07:21 I CAN TALK ABOUT THAT, WE WERE VERY YOUNG AND SELFISH. 07:24 >> VERY SELFISH. >> IT WAS ALL ABOUT ME, WHAT I 07:28 WANTED. >> OH, YEAH. 07:34 ARGUMENT? >> OH-- BELIEVE IT? 07:39 >> WE'RE PERFECTLY I AM PERFECT. I WON SOME TEDDY BEAR. 07:49 I SHE SAID, I WANT THEM ALL. I SAID, NO. 07:56 I WAS SO ANGRY. HAD AN UMBRELLA AND I THREW IT 08:00 IN THE WATERFALL. >> A BIG FOUNTAIN. 08:03 >> IN NEW YORK AND AFTER I THREW IT IN THERE, I REALIZED I WANTED 08:08 IT, BUT THE WATERFALL WAS TOO DEEP TO GET IT. 08:14 >> I LOST MY BEAUTIFUL GOLF UMBRELLA WHEN THEY FIRST CAME 08:18 OUT. BOW AND ARROW. 08:22 I CARRIED IT AROUND LIKE IT WAS A SHEATH SO THAT WHEN IT RAINED 08:27 I WOULD PULL IT OUT. AND THEN I THREW IT IN A 08:31 FOUNTAIN AT TIMES SQUARE. >> HOW DID YOU FEEL WITH 08:36 DIFFERENCES OF OPINION? >> WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, WE 08:40 LEARNED AND WE'RE GOING TO BOUNCE BACK AND FORTH ON THIS, 08:43 BUT WE LEARNED THAT YOU EITHER WIN TOGETHER. 08:50 >> I DON'T WIN AN ARGUMENT AND SHE LOSES AN ARGUMENT. 08:56 WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM. >> THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS US 09:04 TREMENDOUSLY. SEEN BASEBALL BEFORE. 09:10 AND PEOPLE, GETTING HITS OFF OF HIM OR THE CATCHER WALKS UP TO 09:13 THE PITCHER. HE DOESN'T GET ANGRY. 09:17 ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU TIRED? 09:19 WELL, LET'S BRING IN ANOTHER GUY. 09:24 TOGETHER AND THEY LOSE TOGETHER. I HAD A SEMINAR CALLED HOW TO 09:29 FIGHT FAIR. BUT WE WANT TO TAK ABOUT SOME 09:33 OF THE WAYS TO COMMUNICATE. THESE ARE SOME OF THE KEYS THAT 09:36 WE BROUGHT OUT. AS SO WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT 09:39 WAYS TO LISTEN. MY WIFE AND I ARE TOGETHER. 09:43 WAYS TO LISTEN. LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES. 09:49 >> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? >> HONEY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 09:53 YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT MEANS. 09:57 >> LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES. WHAT DO YOU TELL ME WHEN I'M NOT 10:00 LOOKING AT YOU. >> I SAY JOHN, LOOK AT ME. 10:03 BECAUSE YOU KNOW, YOU'LL BE DOING SOMETHING. 10:10 >> AND I FEEL LIKE HE'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION. 10:15 >> RIGHT. WHEN WE'RE TALKING. 10:18 THEN HE'LL LOOK AT ME AND I WILL SAY, WE NEED TO LOOK AT EACH 10:22 OTHER. DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING? 10:31 THEN WHAT DO YOU DO? >> I LOOK IN HER EYES. 10:38 >> IT MELTS MY HEART WHEN I KNOW HE'S LISTENING. 10:42 HE'S NOT DOING OTHER THINGS. HE'S LISTENING TO ME. 10:46 >> LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES. MAKE CONTACT WITH YOUR SPOUSE. 10:50 >> THE EYES ARE THE AVENUE TO THE SOUL. 10:54 THAT WE CANNOT LOOK AT EACH OTHER. 10:58 YOU'RE LOOKING OVER HERE OR LOOKING OVER THERE, SOMETHING IS 11:03 WRONG. SOUL. 11:08 WHAT YOU'LL NOTICE, EVE WHEN SHE SAID THAT, I NOTICED HER 11:12 EYES WOULD TEAR UP. I COULD LOOK IN HER EYES AND I 11:16 COULD TELL THAT SHE WAS NOT SPEAKING JUST WITH HER MOUTH BUT 11:19 HER HEART. EYE CONTACT. 11:22 IT'S SOMETHING THAT I HAD TO LEARN. 11:28 100 MPH. >> BUT WHEN I'M TALKING I LEARN 11:35 TO TURN IT OFF AND LISTEN. THE OTHER THING IS TO LISTEN 11:40 WITH YOUR MOUTH. >> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 11:43 >> TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. >> DON'T INTERRUPT. 11:51 INTERRUPTION ON CRITICAL THINGS IS A VERY SERIOUS ISSUE. 11:54 BUT WE NEED TO HAVE SERIOUS CONVERSATION AND SLIGHT 12:00 CONVERSATION. CONVERSATION, THE BIGGEST THING, 12:04 THE BIGGEST ACHILLES HEELS FOR COUPLES, THEY LISTEN LONG ENOUGH 12:11 AND THEN WAIT FOR AN OPEN SPOT TO SAY BUT OR HOWEVER, BUT 12:16 THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU MEANT. THE TRAINING TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH 12:21 SHUT WHILE YOUR SPOUSE IS POURING HER HEART OUT OR I'M 12:26 POURING MY HEART OUT, AND MAKES THAT EYE CONTACT. 12:29 YOU'RE REMEMBERING. IS BEING SAID IS STARTING TO BE 12:38 STORED. OR BELITTLE IT. 12:47 LISTEN WITH YOUR MOUTH, HOW? >> KEEP IT SHUT. 12:50 >> KEEP IT SHUT. >> MM-HMM. 12:56 THAT TAKES TASKS. >> SOMETIMES WOMEN JUST WANT TO 12:59 TALK, TALK, TALK, REALLY. I KNOW A LOT OF WOMEN. 13:02 THEY JUST WANT TO MAKE THEIR POINT. 13:06 SHUT SOMETIMES. LISTEN. 13:11 >> LISTEN WITH YOUR NECK. >> OH, OKAY. 13:13 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES. 13:16 LISTEN WITH YOUR MOUTH. LISTEN WITH YOUR NECK. 13:20 >> KEEP YOUR NECK STILL. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE-- 13:23 >> THE NECK IS WANDERING. >> OH, YEAH, WHATEVER. 13:34 >> DISINTERESTED, I DON'T WANT PLEASE TAKE A LONG WALK ON A 13:40 SHORT PIER, THAT SORT OF THING. IT'S CALLED NON-VERBAL 13:46 COMMUNICATION. LISTEN WITH YOUR NECK. 13:59 EYES ARE MOVING, MOUTH IS SHUT. YOU'RE ENGAGED. 14:03 THAT'S SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR NECK, WITH 14:09 YOUR EYES, AND WITH YOUR MOUTH. WE SHARE THIS, AND I WANT TO 14:16 SHARE MY WIFE'S ONLY THING. THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF LISTENERS 14:19 AND THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COMMUNICATORS. 14:26 COMMUNICATION THROUGH OUR SPOUSE'S EYES. 14:32 >> ECOCENTRIC. LISTENING THROUGH OUR EYES. 14:35 EMPATHETIC. I FEEL WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 14:39 >> YES. BUT YOU DON'T SEE MY PART. 14:44 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING. 14:53 TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD, THE EGOCENTRIC 14:57 COMMUNICATOR. DEFENDING RATHER THAN MENDING. 15:03 >> YES, THAT'S GOOD. >> A BIG DIFFERENCE. 15:05 BIG DIFFERENCE. >> LISTEN WITH YOUR HANDS. 15:11 >> HOW DO YOU DO THAT? >> KEEP YOUR HANDS STILL. 15:17 >> OKAY. >> ALMOST LIKE THEY'RE BORED. 15:25 GET IT OVER WITH. >> HURRY UP. 15:31 >> EXACTLY. HANDS. 15:38 COMMUNICATION IS AN ENTIRE THING. 15:42 COMMUNICATION. SPOKE TONIGHT, DID YOU NOTICE 15:48 HOW HE WAS FIDGETING WITH HIS HANDS. 15:54 PERSON WAS SAYING. HE WAS TOTALLY HE'S INTERESTED. 15:59 BUT WHEN--HE WAS TOTALLY DISINTERESTED. 16:07 FOCUSED. IN. 16:16 >> MM-HMM. IT SAYS TO HER. 16:19 >> I HAVE HIS UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. 16:25 YOUR WIFE COULD SHINE IF YOU GIVE HER YOUR UNDIVIDED 16:33 ATTENTION. >> ABSOLUTELY. 16:39 GREATEST GIFTS THAT GREG HAS GIVEN TO ME. 16:41 HE'S A FABULOUS LISTENER. >> OH. 16:46 DO THAT. MARRIED AND HE'LL ALWAYS SAY, 16:51 JILLY, WHEN I'M DONE, HE'LL SAY, JILLY, NOW IS THIS THE TIME THAT 16:56 I JUST WAT YOU JUST WANT ME TO HOLD YOU? 17:02 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ADVICE OR SOLUTIONS? 17:06 BECAUSE YOU KNOW MEN ARE SOLUTION-FOCUSED. 17:10 HE'LL THINK I NEED TO FIX THIS, I NEED TO HELP HER. 17:13 SO HE'LL SAY IS THIS A TIME TO HOLD YOU OR GIVE YO SOMETHING 17:17 BACK? >> AMEN. 17:21 THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. WHEN GO TO YOUR HUSBAND, AND YOU 17:27 FEEL SO EMPTY, YOU SAY TO HIM, MY LOVE CUP IS EMPTY. 17:33 I'VE DONE THAT. I'LL SAY MY LOVE CUP IS EMPTY 17:37 AND I NEED A HUG AND HE'LL GIVE ME A HUG AND THEN I'LL GO BACK 17:44 TO COOKING. >> WE DO THAT. 17:47 TO FIND A WAY TO SLOW THIS CLOCK DOWN- 17:55 >> OH, YES. >> OH? 17:58 >> LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE. [ CHUCKLING ] 18:06 ARE YOU DONE DOING THIS ALREADY? A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THAT. 18:12 THEY DON'T LISTEN WITH YOUR BACK. 18:16 EYES, MOUTH SHUT, POSITION, NECK, SITTING STRAIGHT UP. 18:20 THEY'RE REALLY LISTENING TO ME. THE OTHER ONE, LISTEN WITH YOUR 18:27 FEET. LISTEN FOR FEELINGS AND FACTS. 18:44 I HAD TO LEARN THAT FEELING REALLY DO MATTER. 18:57 MEN WOULD SAY, MY WIFE PLAYS ON ME THROUGH HER FEELINGS. 19:01 THROUGH THE YEARS THAT MADE ME THINK OF FEELINGS DIFFERENTLY. 19:05 BUT I HAD TO SAY WAIT A MINUTE. FEELINGS DO REALLY MATTER. 19:09 WIVES WILL COMMUNICATE THEIR FEELINGS EMOTIONALLY. 19:12 AND NOT ALL WOMEN WHO COMMUNICATE EMOTIONALLY ARE 19:15 TRYING TO MANIPULATE. THEY'LL SAY, YEAH, YOU'RE CRYING 19:21 BECAUSE YOU WANT TO GET ME TO DO SOMETHING. 19:26 IT SHUTS YOUR SPOUSE DOWN. I LEARNED THAT. 19:30 >> YES, YOU HAVE. >> AND I LOVE YOU, TOO. 19:38 >> SHOULD WE DO A FEW QUESTIONS? >> THIS ONE SAYS IS IT OKAY TO 19:43 MARRY MY EX-WIFE AFTER 40 YEARS? >> WHAT DO YOU THINK? 19:46 >> ABSOLUTELY. THAT THEY WERE DIVORCED FOR 20 19:51 YEARS. >> WOW. 19:55 THE CHILDREN. SHE NEVER MARRIED. 20:00 HE NEVER MARRIED--REMARRIED. AND THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER AFTER 20:05 20 YEARS. NOW. 20:09 AND SO IT'S OKAY TO GET BACK WITH YOUR SPOUSE. 20:15 >> MM-HMM. >> A LONG TIME. 20:19 >> I WAS LISTENING TO A COMEDIAN NOT TOO LONG AGO. 20:22 HE WAS SAYING, THIS IS FUNNY. HE SAID WHEN YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED 20:26 FOR THAT LONG, HE SAID YOU BOTH HAVE TRAINED EACH OTHER SO WELL 20:30 NOBODY ELSE WANTS YOU. THEN YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO EACH 20:35 OTHER. THIS SENSE. 20:41 I FINISH HER SENTENCES. SHE FINISHES MINE. 20:45 NOW I A THOUGHT COMES TO MY MIND AND SHE MENTIONS IT. 20:52 >> THAT HAPPENS OFTEN. WE'RE ON THE SAME TRACK. 20:55 >> I'VE TESTED THIS. I'LL BE THINKING OR VERBALIZING 20:59 SOMETHING AND I'LL WONDER IF SHE'S THINKING THE SAME THING. 21:02 SOMETIMES I DON'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO ASK HER. 21:05 SHE'LL COME OUT WITH THE SAME THING. 21:10 TO ASK THIS QUESTION, AND THEN HE'LL ASK IT. 21:14 >> THAT HAPPENED TO US EARLIER. >> YOU GUYS ARE MOVNG IN THE 21:16 RIGHT DIRECTION. WHEN I SOMETIMES HESITATE A 21:23 THOUGHT, SHE'LL SAY IT, LIKE A MINUTE LATER. 21:28 >> SURE. HOW LONG MUST ONE DATE BEFORE 21:34 GETTING MARRIED? YEARS TO KNOW SOMEONE WELL. 21:38 THEN AGAIN SOME JUST DATE FOR SIX MONTHS AND MARRY AND IT 21:41 WORKS OUT BY GOD'S GRACE. ONE COULD DATE FOR YEARS AND 21:45 STILL DON'T GET TO KNOW THEIR PARTNER UNTIL THEY MARRY AND 21:49 LIVE TOGETHER, AND THEN YOU SEE SOME UNDESIRABLE BEHAVIOR 21:55 REVEALED AND YOU THINK YOU MADE A MISTAKE. 21:59 YOU BE SURE THAT YOU'RE MARRYING THE ONE THAT GOD HAS CHOSEN FOR 22:03 YOU. FARING THE ONE GOD HAS FOR YOU. 22:07 I THANK YOU FOR COVERING THIS TOPIC, BEING REA AND USING YOUR 22:12 RELATIONSHIP TO DEMONSTRATE GOD'S LOVE AND MERCY. 22:15 IT'S REALLY NEEDED. >> I'M GOING TO HAVE THIS QUOTE 22:23 READ AFTER I SAY THIS. MARRIAGE IS NOT A MISTAKE. 22:26 BUT MARRIAGE WITHOUT GOD'S GUIDANCE IS A TERRIBLE MAKE. 22:31 FIRST, GOD SAYS DON'T MARRY A NON-BELIEVER. 22:38 MY WIFE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THE UNBELIEVER THING WHICH 22:41 IS VERY INSIGHT FORTUNATELYFUL WHICH THE LORD GAVE TO HER AND NOT TO ME. 22:49 >> YOU CAN BE IN THE SAME PLACE BUT STILL DIVIDED. 22:53 LORD. YOU LOVE THE LORD YOUR SPOUSE 22:58 WILL LOVE YOU OR EACH OTHER, BUT IT HAS TO BE MUTUAL. 23:02 YOU HAVE TO LOVE THE LORD IN ORDER TO REALLY HAVE A SOLID 23:06 RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE GOD IS, WHAT, LOVE. 23:10 HE IS LOVE. BUT THIS IS FROM A MINISTRY OF 23:13 HEALING, AND IT'S REALLY SHORT. PAGE 360. 23:17 IT SAYS THROUGH DIFFICULTIES PERPLEXITIES AND 23:24 DISCOURAGEMENTS, THOUGH DIFFICULTIES, PERPLEXITIES MAY 23:29 ARISE, LET NEITHER HUSBAND NOR WIFE HARBOR THE THOUGHT THAT 23:32 THEIR UNION IS A MISTAKE OR A DISAPPOINTMENT. 23:39 POSSIBLE TO BE TO EACH OTHER. CONTINUE THE EARLY ATTENTIONS IN 23:46 EVERY WAY, ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER IN FIGHTING THE BATTLES OF LIFE. 23:51 STUDY TO ADVANCE THE HAPPINESS OF EACH OTHER. 23:56 MEN MARRIAGE, INSTEAD OF BEING THE END OF LOVE WILL BE AS IT IS 24:01 WORTH THE VERY BEGINNING OF LOVE. 24:05 >> AMEN. BECAUSE IF YOU LIVED JUST--IF 24:08 YOUR MARRIAGE IS JUST TO MAKE YOU SATISFIED, THAT'S ONE SIDED. 24:12 >> THAT'S TRUE. HAPPY. 24:18 ME HAPPY AND WE DISCOVERED THAT WE'RE HAPPY. 24:22 WE DON'T AGREE ON EVERYTHING STILL, BUT WE STILL 24:25 UNDERSTAND--THIS IS A DANGEROUS PHRASE, I'VE HEARD A LOT OF GUYS 24:30 USE IT. HAPPY WIVES, HAPPY LIFE. 24:34 IF THE WIFE IS HAPPY EVERYBODY IS HAPPY. 24:37 THAT'S A DANGEROUS PHRASE BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE GIVE UP 24:40 INDIVIDUALITY BECAUSE THE OTHER PERSON BECOMES ANGRY IF THEY 24:44 DON'T GET THEIR WAY. IF YOU SAY UNHEAVY WIFE, UNHAPPY 24:49 LIFE, THAT'S AN UNBALANCED RELATIONSHIP. 24:56 LET ME ANSWER THE QUESTION. IT DEPENDS ON HOW OLD YOU ARE. 24:59 >> THAT'S TRUE. >> THAT'S A BIG QUESTION. 25:03 IF YOU'RE 16, YOU CAN DO WHAT WE DID, DATE FOR NINE YEARS. 25:08 ESPECIALLY IN THIS GENERATION BECAUSE TODAY THIS IS VERY 25:12 CORRUPT GENERATION. ISSUES THAT YOU COULD BE SETTING 25:16 YOURSELF UP FOR SO MANY DANGEROUS PLACES THAT YOU 25:19 SHOULDN'T GO. PERSON YOU HAVE MET IS THE 25:23 PERSON YOU'RE INTERESTED IN, GET GODLY COUNSEL. 25:29 LET THE BIBLE BE YOUR GUIDE, AND DON'T PARTICIPATE IN ACTIVITY 25:33 THAT'S RESERVED FOR MARRIAGE. >> THAT'S RIGHT. 25:37 DON'T LIVE TOGETHER EITHER. >> DON'T LIVE TOGETHER. 25:39 SOMEONE ONCE SAID TO ME, HOW DO I KNOW THAT IT'S GOING TO WORK 25:43 IF WE DON'T LIVE TOGETHER? WELL, THE LORD WILL BLESS YOU 25:48 WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED. YOU WON'T BE TUMBLING BECAUSE 25:51 HE'LL POUR BLESSINGS IN TO THAT RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU WON'T FIND 25:56 IF YOU'RE LIVING TOGETHER. IF YOU'RE OLDER, YOU'RE 50, YOUR 26:01 SPOUSE HAS PASSED AWAY. WE KNOW SOMEONE WHO MARRIED 26:04 RECENTLY, HOW LONG DID THEY KNOW EACH OTHER? 26:09 BUT THEY'RE OLDER PEOPLE. >> SURE. 26:14 YEARS BECAUSE ONE OF THEM MIGHT BE DEAD. 26:16 LET'S BE RESPECTFUL ABOUT IT. >> YES. 26:21 IN YOUR 30s, DON'T RUSH. BUT DO GET COUNSELING 26:26 BEFOREHAND. NEEDS COUNSELING BEFOREHAND IS 26:30 YOU'LL FIND OUT WHAT A MARRIAGE IS MADE OF, AND SOMETIMES 26:36 MARRIAGE REQUIRES SOMETHING AND THERE ARE SO MANY COMPONENTS TO 26:41 MARRIAGE THAT UNLESS YOU SEE IN A MARRIAGE COUNSELING HOW YOU 26:45 DEAL WITH CONFLICT RESOLUTION. YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS MONEY, 26:49 CHILDREN, PARENTING, THE ROLE OF THE HUSBAND, THE ROLE OF THE 26:52 WIFE, WHAT KIND OF PERSON--ARE YOU CONNECTED, DISCONNECTED, 26:56 OVERLY CONNECTED. DID YOU COME FROM A FAMILY WHERE 26:59 EVERYBODY MADE THE DECISION OR ONE PERSON MADE THE DECISION FOR 27:04 EVERYONE. SEE HOW YOU'RE GOING TO MESH AND 27:08 THEN YOU CAN DETERMINE IF YOU'RE READY FOR MARRIAGE. 27:11 YOU'RE READY FOR MARRIAGE, THEN COURT WITH MARRIAGE IN MIND. 27:15 OBVIOUSLY THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKED FOR ME. 27:21 FIRST HOUR SAID THAT I WAS DATING HER TOO LONG. 27:23 HE GAVE ME AN ULTIMATUM. HE SAID HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING 27:28 TO DATE HER? ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY HER? 27:32 YES, WHEN? >> WE'RE GETTING A LOT. 27:37 >> THERE IS A LITTLE TEASE. THERE IS ONE WHO HAS BEEN 27:41 MARRIED FO 68 YEARS. >> THIS IS FROM INDIANA. 27:49 THIS IS AFTER TALKING ABOUT EPHESIANS 5, THIS IS FROM 27:53 EPHESIANS 6, NOT RELATING SPECIFICALLY TO MARRIAGE BUT IT 27:57 IS TO FAMILY. IF YOU HAVE MEMBERS IN YOUR 28:00 FAMILY, PARENTS SPECIFICALLY, AND THERE IS ADDICTION, ABUSE OR 28:05 NEGLECT OF THE CHILDREN, DO THE PARENTS. 28:12 PARENTS IN THE LORD. WHEN A PARENT IS LEADING YOU 28:17 DOWN A PATH THAT IS UNGODLY, THE BIBLE DOESN'T REQUIRE 28:21 YOU--ESPECIALLY NOW I'M SPEAKING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE OF AGE. 28:27 SOMETIMES A MINOR CANNOT DISAGREE WITH A PARTICIPANT, AND 28:30 THAT'S A DIFFICULT SITUATION. WHEN A CHILD IS SUBJECT TO AN 28:33 ABUSIVE HOME, THE FATHER IS A DRINKER, DRUG ABUSER OR THERE IS 28:38 ARGUMENT IN THE HOUSES IT IS A DIFFICULT SITUATION TO SAY TING 28:42 A 11-YEAR-OLD OR 12-YEAR-OLD DISOBEY YOUR PARENTS BECAUSE 28:46 THEY MAY END UP WITHOUT A HOME. BUT IF YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE 28:50 RELATIONSHIP, PHYSICAL ABUSE. WE LISTEN LIVE IN A DAY AND AGE--SO 28:56 MUCH IS GOING ON IN MY MIND LIKE AN EXPLOSION. 28:59 SOMETIMES CHILDREN WILL SAY JUST TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, MY DAD 29:02 IS ABUSING ME AND IT'S FALSE. >> AS A WAY TO GET OUT. 29:07 AND IF YOU DO THAT, YOU COLD DESTROY YOUR FAMILY. 29:10 SOME FAMILIES WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM A FALSE ACCUSATION. 29:14 THE COURTS WILL STEP IN, SNATCH YOU OUT, AND YOU MAY SAY I'M 29:20 KIDDING. HIS REPUTATION IS DESTROYED. 29:24 BUT IF YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION, LET SOMEONE KNOW. 29:31 TELL A FAMILY MEMBER, A TEACHER PASTOR, BUT DON'T JUST TELL ALL 29:35 YOUR FRIENDS, BUT GET THE ATTENTION OF SOMEONE WHO CAN 29:38 HELP YOU. DID I ANSWER THAT? 29:41 >> YES, DID YOU. >> ABSOLUTELY. 29:45 >> OKAY, YES SO THIS ONE HERE, AND I THINK YOU HAVE ONE THAT IS 29:48 LONGER THAN THIS ONE BEING MARRIED, I'M JUST GOING TO READ 29:52 THIS. IT'S TAKEN BY ONE OF OUR CSRs 29:56 AT THE CALL CENTER. THEIR NAMES ARE AVADEL AND DAVID 30:01 DAVIDSON. OF MARRIAGE. 30:10 [CLAPPING] THEY NEVER LET THE DAY PASS 30:13 WITHOUT SAYING THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. 30:19 REPEATEDLY TO EACH OTHER. THEY NEVER GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT 30:23 SAYING IT. THEY'RE BOTH 90 YEARS OLD NOW. 30:27 THEY WERE ONLY 21 YEARS OLD WHEN THEY FOUND EACH OTHER. 30:30 WHAT A BLESSING. >> AMEN. 30:37 >> I JUST WANT TO SAY THIS, TOO. WE HAVE A NUMBER HERE THAT ARE 30:41 LESS THAN 70, BUT BEFORE WE END THE PROGRAM I THINK IT WOULD BE 30:44 GREAT TO MENTION THAT WE HAVE SOME THAT ARE 54 YEARS, 51, 30:48 WE'LL MENTION YOUR NAME AS WELL. >> ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL. 30:51 >> THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. MY WIFE AND I HAVE TAKEN ON A 30:55 YEAR AGO. TURN THE LIGHT OFF AND WE HUG TO 31:00 FALL ASLEEP, I SAY GOOD NIGHT, HONEY, GOOD NIGHT, SWEETHEART, I 31:06 LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT? 31:10 ANYBODY. AND IT'S THE REALITY OF LIFE. 31:13 >> THAT'S WHAT WE DO AS WELL. I LOVE YOU. 31:16 BEAUTIFUL. THINK. 31:22 TIME FOR THE GIFT OF GLORY DVD. WHEN WILL IT BE READY? 31:26 >> OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC. >> DO YOU HAVE AN ANSWER FOR 31:30 THAT? OF AUGUST OR FIRST PAR OF 31:34 SEPTEMBER TO HAVE IT HERE. WE ARE ALMOST THERE. 31:38 >> WE'RE ADDING BONUS FEATURES, THE "GIVE IT HIM GLORY" CONCERT. 31:49 WE'RE GIVING BACK STORIES TO THE SONGS BEING WRITTEN. 31:54 WE'RE ALMOST THERE. GOOD QUESTION. 31:59 ON THREE ANGELS MESSAGES ARE AVAILABLE TONIGHT. 32:02 WELL. COMMENTS AND REQUIRES REGARDING 32:08 MARRIAGE OR SHARING HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED. 32:14 IT'S $25 SUGGESTED DONATION. FILL FREE TO DO THAT. 32:18 618-627-4651. OR YOU CAN ALWAYS E-MAIL US 32:24 LIVE@3ABN.TV. >> THIS IS REALLY NEAT HERE. 32:28 THIS IS FROM BRIAN, AND HE'S IN WASHINGTON, BASICALLY SAYS 15 32:34 YEARS MARRIED, 4 CHILDREN, I'M 40 YEARS OLD, AND I'M LDS MORE 32:40 MONDAY, BUT I I LOVE YOUR CHURCH, AND YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT SUNDAY 32:45 BEING WRONG. >> WHAT? 32:49 CONGRATULATIONS AS WELL. >> WOW. 32:53 >> RAISED IN THE TRUTH OF THE GOD'S WORD AND ADMONITION OF THE 32:59 LORD. YEARS. 33:14 >> MARRIED 78 YEARS. >> ALMOST 80 YEARS--WOW. 33:17 THAT'S AMAZING. >> LET'S SEE HERE, . 33:23 >> LET ME SAYING IS HERE. >> PLEASE DO. 33:27 COVER. BUT SPENDING--DURING CONFLICT, 33:34 WAYS TO KEEP RELATIONSHIPS GOING. 33:39 >> YOU KNOW, WAYS TO KEEP RELATIONSHIPS GROWING. 33:43 SPEND QUANTITY AND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER. 33:48 >> YEAH, WE TRAVEL TOGETHER. >> YOU HEAR ABOUT QUANTITY TIME, 33:53 BUT YOU USED ANOTHER WORD, TOO, QUALITY. 34:00 HERE AT ABN. IF YOU THINK IT'S NOT BUSY, THEN 34:03 COME TO THE WEEK. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE HAVE GOING 34:06 ON UNTIL WE TAKE ALL OUR HATS OFF. 34:11 TOGETHER. YEARS AGO. 34:17 WITH ME. I SAID I WOULD RATHER TAKE THE 34:22 FINANCIAL IMPACT THAN RELATIONAL IMPACT. 34:26 WORLD. PAY FOR YOUR WIFE TO COME, WHAT 34:33 IS SHE GOING TO DO? >> I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP ME 34:37 SANE. ROOM, AT THE CONVENTION WHEN WE 34:44 DID A SERIES ONCE--I FORGOT--I CAN'T REMEMBER THE COUNTRY, BUT 34:49 WE DID IT ON RELATIONSHIP. THE PEOPLE SAID IT WASN'T WHAT 34:54 YOU SAID THAT IMPRESSED US. I LOVED HOW YOU LOOKED AT YOUR 34:59 WIFE. I LOOKED AT YOUR SPOUSE TO SEE 35:05 IF WHAT YOU SAID REALLY MATTERS. >> I WANT TO ADD TO THAT. 35:08 I THINK THAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT 35:11 WAYS OF A RELATIONSHIP GROWING IN A MARRIAGE AND YOUR SPOUSE 35:14 COMING ALONG WITH YOU, THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT. 35:19 COME TO YOU AND SAID PASTOR, I NEED YOU TO SHARE THAT WITH YOU. 35:24 AND THEN YOU CAN SAY, ANGIE COME OVER HERE. 35:28 HUSBAND IS NOT GOING TO RUN OFF OVER HERE. 35:32 BUT ANGIE, COME OVER HERE. THIS YOUNG LADY HAS SOMETHING 35:36 SHE NEEDS TO SHARE. THAT'S IMPORTANT AND IT HELPS 35:39 THE FIDELITY ASPECT, TOO. >> LET ME INCLUDE THAT. 35:44 THAT'S A SIGNIFICANT ASPECT OF MAINTAINING FIDELITY. 35:49 AND WHEN YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SAFETY POINTS BECAUSE YES, 35:58 WE'VE BEEN ON THE ROAD. PEOPLE WILL COME, THEY'RE 36:02 TRYING, AND GET THEY GET TO CRYING, AND WHAT DO I DO? 36:09 MY MARRIAGE IS--DON'T SPEND QUANTITY PRIVATE TIME WITH 36:14 ANOTHER PERSON OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE. 36:21 >> OH, IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY. AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS? 36:29 THEN THE KNICKS THING YOU KNOW THEY MIGHT MISINTERPRET THAT. 36:33 SO THE PRINCIPLES OF FIDELITY THAT WE SURROUND OUR 36:37 RELATIONSHIP, POINT NUMBER TWO. >> DON'T GET INVOLVED IN OTHER 36:41 PEOPLE'S PERSONAL MATTERS ABOUT THEIR SPOUSE. 37:02 >> IF YOU'RE FEELING SORRY FOR THE PERSON AND YOU ATTACH TO 37:05 THEM EMOTIONALLY, YOU'RE BEING DRAWN IN. 37:09 LEADS TO AN AFFAR, AND THEN IT'S WHAT HAPPENED? 37:13 JUST FROM LISTENING AND YOU JUST HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. 37:16 >> I LIKE THE POINT YOU BROUGHT UP ABOUT EMOTION. 37:19 EMOTIONAL, I BELIEVE THERE IS MUCH MORE THAN A SEXUAL OR 37:22 GETTING INVOLVED SEXUALLY IN AN AFFAIR. 37:26 AFFAIRS YOU CAN HAVE WITH SOMEONE. 37:30 EMOTIONALLY YOU CAN GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE AND NOT REALIZE IT, 37:33 AND YOU'RE BECOMING UNFAITHFUL TO YOUR SPOUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU 37:36 MAY NOT BE INVOLVED SEXUALLY. >> EMOTIONS STARTED. 37:41 >> THAT'S CORRECT. >> THERE IS A SONG FEELINGS CAN 37:48 OFTEN BE BETRAYED BY EMOTION. THE OTHER ONE WE PUT IN, 37:55 RECOGNIZE FEELINGS WHEN THEY BEGIN TO ARISE. 37:59 COMMUNICATION BRINGS OUT A FEELING OF EMPATHY--I HAD A LADY 38:05 ONCE SAY TO ME, I WISH MY HUSBAND WAS JUST LIKE YOU. 38:10 BUT NOW SHE WAS WAY OLDER LADY. AND THIS ONE LADY AT OUR CHURCH, 38:14 SHE WAS WAY OLDER, SHE ONCE TOLD MY WIFE AT FELLOWSHIP LUNCH. 38:18 >> SHE SAID IF I WAS YOUNGER I WOULD GIVE YOU A RUN FOR YOUR 38:22 HUSBAND. >> YEAH, LATE 70s. 38:31 >> BUT SHE VOICED IT. WHEN YOU MEET PEOPLE THAT YOU 38:34 DON'T KNOW, EVEN LIMIT THE KIND OF TOUCHY-FEELY KIND OF THING. 38:39 PEOPLE MAY SAY, THEY WANT TO HUG YOU, YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THEY 38:43 ARE, THEY WANT TO KISS YOU ON THE CHEEK--I'M A VERY 38:47 AFFECTIONATE PERSON, IN NEW YORK WE--BUT WE'RE LEARNING TO SHAKE 38:53 A HAND AND NOT TO ASSUME. I WAS AT A CAMP MEETING AND A 38:58 LADY SAID, I'M NOT A HANDSHAKER, JUST GIVE ME A HUG. 39:02 SHE WAS AN OLDER WOMAN, BUT LIMIT THOSE AND UNDERSTAND THE 39:06 PLACE WHERE THEY SHOULD ARRIVE AND SHOULD NOT ARISE. 39:11 NUMBER FOUR. ANYONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE. 39:16 >> THAT'S GOOD. LINES. 39:20 >> SAME LINES. >> BE OPEN WITH EACH OTHER ABOUT 39:26 UNDUE ATTENTION FROM OTHERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. 39:31 I WAS AWAY, AND THIS IS VERY GOOD. 39:36 EVERYWHERE. I WAS WITH PASTOR FINLEY, AND 39:42 WAITING AT THE AIRPORT FOR SOMEBODY TO PICK ME UP. 39:45 THERE WAS A LADY WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO PICK HER UP. 39:48 SHE SAID, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT HOTEL ARE YOU STAYING AT? 39:56 SHE SAID IF MY RIDE COMES FIRST, DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE A RIDE? 40:01 I SAID NO, I'LL WAIT. TO MY SHOCK TWO DAYS LATER I GET 40:06 A PHONE CALL. BUT IT'S THIS WOMAN CALLING ME. 40:11 I SAID HELLO? WHO IS THIS? 40:13 DO YOU REMEMBER, WE MET IN THE AIRPORT. 40:18 I VISIT THIS AREA SO OFTEN, THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY HOTELS 40:23 LIKE THAT. WELL, CAN WE TALK? 40:27 I'M LEAVING--NO, NO, WE CAN'T. NO. 40:34 YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED. 40:38 >> IMMEDIATELY. FOR NOW ON YOU'RE GOING 40:42 EVERYWHERE WITH ME. >> HE ALWAYS TELLS ME WHENEVER 40:45 THAT HAPPENS. >> THAT'S CALLED OPENNESS AND 40:49 TRANSPARENCY IN THE MARRIAGE. IF THERE IS ANY OUTSIDE FORCE, 40:55 IT'S BETTER TO BE OPEN. >> AND COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, 40:59 COMMUNICATE. FROM THIS SURPRISE CALL, YOU 41:05 CALL YOUR WIFE. YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT 41:07 HAPPENED. THE YEARS RECALIBRATED THROUGH 41:14 THE YEARS. THIS IS KIND OF FUNNY. 41:20 MY WIFE HAS A PERSONALITY THAT PEOPLE LOVE TO TALK TO HER. 41:24 AND SHE'S SUCH A LISTENER THAT GUYS LIKE TO TALK TO HER. 41:27 BUT SHE KNOWS HER BOUNDARIES. SHE KNOWS HER PERIMETERS. 41:34 THAT'S IMPORTANT FOR A MARRIAGE TO BE SUCCESSFUL OVER THE YEARS. 41:36 >> OH, YES. >> AND THIS CLOCK HAS GONE SO 41:41 FAST, JILL AND GREG. THIS IS SOMETHING ABOUT--DID 41:47 WE--OH, DID WE TALK ABOUT--WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT HOW TO KEEP 41:51 OUR RELATIONSHIP GROWING. TRAVELING. 41:58 KEEPING OUR RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS, TOO. 42:02 >> TRAVEL TOGETHER, VACATION TOGETHER. 42:06 DURING THE WEEK FOR EACH OTHER. A DATE NIGHT. 42:10 AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE HAVE THAT HERE, DATE NIGHT. 42:12 IT'S USUALLY THURSDAYS. >> YOU'RE DATING HERE ON THE SET 42:16 HERE ON LIVE TV. >> OUR DATE IS LIVE TV. 42:20 >> PASTOR JOHN AND ANGIE, THEY'RE ON DATE NIGHT. 42:25 >> THIS IS DATE NIGHT. >> OR SUNDAYS. 42:32 >> YOU HAVE TO BE FLEXIBLE. >> AND YOU DO THE SAME, DON'T 42:35 YOU. OUR SCHEDULES, LIKE PASTOR JOHN 42:41 MENTIONED, YOU HAVE TO BE BUT IT'S GOOD. 42:47 PUT MY CELL PHONE ASIDE, AND I DON'T ANSWER, I DONT DO E-MAILS 42:51 OR TEXT. JUST "US" TIME. 42:56 AND THAT'S IMPORTANT. WE PUT IT AWAY FROM US. 42:59 IF YOU HEAR IT YOUR PHONE AND YOUR BODY IS SAYING ANSWER IT. 43:06 AND IT SEEMS LIKE ITS GETTING LOUDER, BUT IT'S NOT. 43:09 WE JUST SHUT IT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT EASY AND TOUGH 43:13 ISSUES. TOUGH ISSUES IS SOMETIMES THE 43:18 HARDEST. THIS? 43:25 EVEN AS HARD AS IT IS TO TALK ABOUT, WE DO IT, DON'T WE. 43:29 >> THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT. >> AND WE BURY IT IN EACH 43:33 OTHER'S HEART. AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW WHAT 43:44 WE ARE WE TALKED ABOUT. 43:48 >> AND SOMETIMES YOU PRAY ON HOW TO APPROACH IT. 43:51 YOU DON'T WANT TO PRAY--WE'VE LEARNED THAT OKAY, WE ENTER THIS 43:56 TOPIC, WE'RE GOING TO EITHER LOSE TOGETHER OR WIN TOGETHER IF 44:00 WE HANDLE IT CORRECTLY IF WE TALK ABOUT TOUGH ISSUES. 44:05 WE DON'T ALLOW OTHERS TO STEAL OUR TIME. 44:10 BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE WILL INSIST ON YOUR TIME. 44:13 BUT IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY, AS A PASTOR-- 44:17 >> WE DON'T HAVE OFFICE HOURS. YOU CAN CALL ME ANY TIME THERE 44:20 IS AN EMERGENCY. BUT THERE IS A LADY THAT WE USED USED TO 44:26 CALL AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING TO SHARE BIBLE TEXT WITH ME. 44:30 I WOULD SAY IS THIS AN EMERGENCY? 44:35 MAYBE LATER BECAUSE AT THAT TIME OF THE MORNING I'M JUST TURNING 44:41 OVER. AS A PASTOR, AN I'VE HEARD 44:46 PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS. YOU HEARD OF THE PASTOR'S KIDS. 44:51 THAT'S THE KEY ISSUE. NOW WE DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. 44:54 WHAT DO WE HAVE? >> SHEEP. 44:59 >> THIS GOES ALONG WITH THE TIME ASPECT, AND I KNOW THE ANSWER TO 45:02 THIS, BUT PASTOR JOHN LOMACANG, DO YOU PUT GOD OR YOUR WIFE 45:11 FIRST IN YOUR LIFE. I KNOW THE ANSWER. 45:15 >> GOD--THE MINISTER ASKED ME THIS MANY YEARS AGO. 45:21 HE SAID, SIT DOWN, YOUNG MAN, BEFORE I GOT MY FIRST CHURCH IN 45:25 SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. HE WOULD SAY YOUNG MAN, TELL ME 45:28 THE ORDER OF YOUR LIFE IN THESE FIVE CATEGORIES. 45:32 I SAID GOD FIRST, MY WIFE NEXT AND THE CHURCH AFTER THAT. 45:35 >> YES. BECAUSE I CAME TO THE CHURCH 45:40 WITH MY WIFE. I'M LEAVING THE CHURCH WITH MY 45:43 WIFE. MORNING IS COMING AND SHE'S IN 45:50 THE HOSPITAL? I'LL BE IN THE HOSPITAL BY HER 45:54 SIDE. WIFE HAS BEEN THERE OH WITH ME. 46:00 I WANT TO BE THERE FOR HER. >> SO MEANS TIMES YOU HEAR FROM 46:11 PASTORS. >> THE CHURCH BEFORE THE WIFE. 46:14 >> AND THE CHILDREN? >> THE CHILDREN DOWN THERE. 46:17 >> THE CHILDREN WILL SAY HE SPENDS SO MUCH TIME FOR THE 46:19 CHURCH BUT NOT WITH US. >> ANY MORE? 46:28 >> WE SHOULD HAVE A PRAYER BEFORE WE CLOSE OUT. 46:30 WE HAVE 11 MINUTES LEFT. >> WE'LL JUST DO RAPID FIRE. 46:36 ROBERT AND DAISY, MARRIED 72 YEARS. 46:40 MARLEAU AND SHIRLEY MARRIED 54 YEARS LAST MONTH. 46:44 THEY'RE FROM MOSES LAKE, WASHINGTON. 46:46 AND. >> HONEY, WE'RE WAY BEHIND. 46:50 >> RICHARD AND DEBBY MARRIED 46 YEARS, AND SHE SAID, I ALWAYS 46:55 PRAYED THAT I WOULD FIND A HUSBAND WHO WAS RELIGIOUS. 46:58 MY HUSBAND WAS THE ANSWER TO MY PRAYERS. 47:05 TODAY, AND TODAY IS HIS 90TH BIRTHDAY. 47:11 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM 3ABN AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. 47:17 NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE TO GIVE A GIFT TO THE PERSON MARRIED THE 47:21 LONGEST. >> HIRE IS A COUPLE MARRIED 51 47:37 YEARS. FROM EUROPE, 36 YEARS THEY'VE 47:46 BEEN MARRIED AND GOD HAS BLESSED US. 47:51 EUROPE. THEY'RE HERE IN THE STATES. 47:55 46 YEARS. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU ALL. 47:58 PRAY THE LORD. WHAT A TESTAMENT. 48:00 >> I HAVE A QUESTION HERE. IT SAYS YOU SAID NOT TO TELL 48:04 OTHERS ABOUT TROUBLE IN A MARRIAGE. 48:08 UNFAITHFUL? FAMILY, FRIENDS OR A PASTOR? 48:13 >> START WITH YOUR PASTOR AND A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR. 48:19 IN, FAMILY--FAMILY IS ALWAYS BIASED. 48:27 BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS IS WHEN YOU RESOLVE THE ISSUE, YOU KNOW WHAT 48:30 HAPPENS? GIVE, YOU PUT ON THE SHOULDER OF 48:35 INDIVIDUALS SOMETHING THAT COUNSEL OR PASTOR OR SOMEONE WHO 48:39 CAN LEAD YOU BACK TO THAT PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND 48:43 RECONCILIATION, THEN YOUR FAMILY MEMBER WOULDN'T BE FOREVER 48:47 SAYING, THAT YOU DAMAGED MY SON OR YOU DAMAGED MY SISTER. 48:53 THEY WOULD NOT REMEMBER THAT ON YOU FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. 48:57 THAT'S SIMILAR TO THE PILLOW SITUATION. 49:01 THINGS THEY CAN'T RESOLVE. NOW IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE 49:06 RELATIONSHIP. THAT'S DIFFERENT ALL TOGETHER. 49:10 PHYSICAL ABUSE, CALL MOM, DAD, BROTHER, SISTER, COUSIN, IF IT 49:15 IS ABUSIVE, BUT DON'T MAKE THE FIRST PERIMETER FAMILY. 49:20 GO TO SOMEBODY THAT IS PROFESSIONAL, SOMEONE WHO CAN 49:23 HELP YOU. THAT WAS AN AMAZING--THOSE ARE 49:26 THINGS THAT AS A COACH I'VE SEEN PEOPLE DO THAT. 49:32 GOD'S GRACE IF THEY DECIDE TO WORK THROUGH IT, THEY GET IT ALL 49:36 FIXED, BUT FOREVER YOU'LL GO TO SOMEBODY'S HOUSE, YEAH, 49:39 CHEATER'S COMING OVER TODAY. AND YOU'LL SAY, THAT WAS FIVE 49:43 YEAR AGO. WE'RE TOGETHER. 49:46 YEAH, BUT I REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO MY DAUGHTER. 49:49 ENVIRONMENT WHERE PEOPLE CANNOT FORGET. 49:53 THAT YOU PLANTED THAT WILL ROOT AND GROW AND THEY'LL NEVER NOT 49:57 HAVE A PLANT. IS NOT GOING TO BE SWEET. 50:01 IT WILL BE SOUR. >> START WITH YOUR PASTOR OR 50:05 MARRIAGE COUNSELOR. THIS ONE, THEY WANT TO BE 50:08 ANONYMOUS, AND LOOKING FOR GOD'S WILL AND WISDOM. 50:11 I'LL READ SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS HERE OR SENTENCES. 50:14 I'M 49 AND HAVE DESIRE TO BE MARRIED AND TO HAVE A FAMILY 50:17 SINCE I WAS AT LEAST 16 YEARS OLD. 50:24 TO GOD AS I CAN, MAYBE IT HAS SCARED ALL THE MEN OFF. 50:29 I CAME CLOSE TO MARRIAGE ONCE, BUT AFTER PRAYER, AS SWEET AS MY 50:35 FRIEND WAS AND STILL IS, HE WAS NOT THE ONE FOR ME. 50:38 WHAT SHOULD I DO? WITHOUT GOING ON DATING 50:49 WEBSITES, WHICH I HAVE, BUT I'M IN A RUSH BUT I WANT TO BE IN 50:56 GOD'S WILL. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR 50:58 ANSWER. DO? 51:05 >> AND OBVIOUSLY IT SEEMS LIKE SHE'S A FEMALE. 51:09 >> YES, IT DOES. >> THAT'S A SITUATION THAT I 51:14 MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, SOMEBODY WHO CAN DEAL WITH THE ISSUES. 51:18 TO BE SINGLE FOR 49 YEARS, THEY SAID THEY MADE A STATEMENT THAT 51:23 I WON'T EVEN QUALIFY AND SAY MAYBE THAT'S TRUE BECAUSE 51:26 SOMETIMES PEOPLE CAN BE OVERLY ANALYZING THEMSELVES. 51:30 AND I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE--ON ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER, THE 51:34 PERIMETER, SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SO EXACT IN WHAT THEY WANT AND 51:39 EVERYBODY WHO COMES THER WAY IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 51:42 ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT, SOME PEOPLE WILL TAKE ANYTHING THAT 51:45 COMES THEIR WAY AND THEN DISCOVER THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT. 51:48 YOU CAN BE SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN THAT, BUT I THINK THE PHRASE SHE 51:51 MENTIONED, SOMETIMES--AND SHE DID NOT SAY THIS, BU SOMETIMES 51:56 YOU CAN BE SO HEAVENLY MINDED THAT NOT EARTHY GOOD. 52:00 BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO ATTRACT. 52:04 GODLY. YOUR PRINCIPLES. 52:09 >> BY THE WAY YOU DRESS OR ANY OF THAT. 52:15 GO HALF DRESSED, NO, DON'T DO THAT. 52:20 IN THAT SITUATION? >> IN THAT SITUATION? 52:22 I WOULD PRAY. A LOT. 52:28 COUNSEL FROM--I WOULD READ A LOT AND PRAY A LOT FOR THE LORD TO 52:35 GUIDE ME. HE WON'T DIAPPOINT YOU. 52:40 HE WILL GUIDE YOU. HE WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY. 52:42 HE WANTS YOU TO HAVE AN ABUNDANT LIFE AND HE WILL BLESS YOU AND 52:45 GUIDE YOU, BUT YOU HAVE TO GO TO HIM. 52:50 TALKING ABOUT PRAYER? ANGIE, DO YOU HAVE A SHORT 52:53 PRAYER AND PASTOR WITH A MINUTE OR SO LEFT SUMMARIZE EVERYTHING. 52:58 >> A SHORT PRAYER RIGHT NOW. OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN, WE COME TO 53:01 YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS. WE THANK YOU FOR THIS TOPIC OF 53:06 MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS. WE PRAY FOR THE PEOPLE OUT WHO 53:10 ARE SEEKING FOR THE RIGHT MATE. WE PRAY, LORD, THAT YOU'LL GUIDE 53:14 THEM AND LEAD THEM IN EVERY ASPECT OF THEIR LIVES SO THAT 53:19 THEY CAN FIND SOMEONE. WE KNOW THAT YOU WANT US TO BE 53:24 HAPPY. ARE CELEBRATING ANNIVERSARY. 53:29 BLESS THEM, LORD. THANK THEM FOR EACH AND EVERY 53:32 ONE. THANK YOU. 53:39 TOWARDS US. IN JEEZ' NAME. 53:44 AMEN. BEAUTIFUL. 53:50 YOUR SPOUSE. >> I HAVE LEARNED MY WIFE LOVE 53:57 HUGS. HUGS. 54:04 LEARN AFFIRMATION. I APPRECIATE THAT DINNER. 54:10 OUT. I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME HOME EARLY 54:14 TODAY. HOME EARLY. 54:25 COMPLIMENT YOUR WIFE. SOME PEOPLE DON'T AFFIRM EACH 54:28 OTHER. DISTRACTED IN THE WRONG 54:32 DIRECTION. WITH EACH OTHER AND MY HUSBAND 54:37 IS SUCH A GOOD HUSBAND TO ME. HE LOVES ME. 54:42 HE DOES THINGS FOR ME. I'M COMING OUT--I'M COMING 54:46 FROM THE GROCERY STORE WITH BAGS OF GROCERIES, HE'LL RUN TO THE 54:50 DOOR AND HELP WITH THE GROCERIES GROCERIES. 55:01 WATCHING--WHAT CAN I DO? >> MERCY, THANK YOU, LORD. 55:05 MY HUSBAND PICKED UP THE WHOLE BAG BECAUSE WE HAVE A-- 55:13 >> MY WATCH FELL BETWEEN THE BED. 55:21 COULDN'T FIND IT. HE GOT A FLASHLIGHT AND LOOKED 55:25 THROUGH EVERYTHING. HE LIFTED THE BED AND SAID LOOK 55:30 UNDER THERE. AND THERE WAS MY WATCH. 55:35 >> AFFIRMATION. DON'T GO CRAZY AND SPEND 55:39 YOURSELF IN OBLIVION. ACTS OF SERVICE. 55:43 AND FINALLY SOMETHING THAT FOCUS SPOUSES NEED PHYSICAL TOUCH. 55:55 THOSE ARE THE FIVE LANGUAGES. LEARN YOUR SPOUSE'S LOVE 56:03 GOING. >> ABSOLUTELY. 56:13 >> OUR TWO HOURS HAVE GONE BY QUICKLY. 56:18 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH PASTOR JOHN AND ANGIE. 56:22 HEART, YOUR EXPERIENCE BUT FROM THE WORD OF GOD. 56:24 TO ME YOU BOTH ARE SEASONED. IF YOU CAN SAY THAT IN GOD'S 56:29 WORK, I MEAN THAT WITH THE MOST RESPECT, YOU HAVE BEEN IN THE 56:33 TRENCHES. WITH PEOPLE AND THE FRUIT OF 56:37 YOUR MARRIAGE AND THAT EXPERIENCE HAS COME FORTH 56:39 TONIGHT. AND WE HOPE AND PRAY THAT IT'S 56:47 BEEN AN ENCOURAGEMENT FOR YOU. WE WANT TO THANK YOU FOR CALLING 56:50 IN AND E-MAIL LING IN WITH YOUR NEEDS. 56:55 DEPARTMENT WILL PRAY OVER YOU AND YOUR MARRIAGE IT'S. 56:57 WE HAVE THESE TWO COUPLES HERE WHO WILL BE GETTING A SPECIAL 57:02 GIFT. YEARS AND RAY AND MARGIE, THEIR 57:07 ANNIVERSARY TODAY. THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE. 57:10 KNOW THAT WE LOVE YOU AND PRAY FOR YOU. |
Revised 2018-11-12