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Series Code: TL
Program Code: TL018516A
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00:05 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ ♪ SPEND MY LIFE ♪
00:09 ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE ♪ ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE 00:18 REMOVING PAIN ♪ ♪ LORD, LET MY WORDS ♪ 00:25 ♪ LET MY WORDS ♪ ♪ HEAL UP HEARTS THAT HURT ♪ 00:33 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE ♪ 00:45 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE ♪ 00:58 ♪ 01:09 >> HELLO. I'M SHELLEY QUINN AND WELCOME 01:17 AGAIN TO 3ABN THURSDAY NIGHT LIVE. 01:20 WE ARE SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. AND WE WANT TO THANK YOU SO MUCH 01:23 FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND YOUR LOVE AND FINANCIAL SUPPORT OF THE 01:28 MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE NETWORK. IT'S GOING TO BE A COUPLE OF 01:33 HIGH-OCTANE HOURS, BECAUSE IF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH 3ABN, YOU 01:40 WILL KNOW HER WELL. LET ME JUST INTRODUCE HER, CHERI 01:45 PETERS. SO GOOD TO -- 01:46 >> SO GOOD TO BE BACK. >> SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK. 01:51 >> I DON'T THINK I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS. 01:55 >> THAT'S A SHAME. >> AND I HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH 02:00 YOU GUYS FOR 27 YEARS. EVEN FLYING IN, I WAS DRIVING 02:06 AROUND GOING IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG. 02:09 >> WELL, YOU ARE ONE OF THE ALL-TIME FAVORITE HOSTS OF THE 02:14 PROGRAM. AND IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 02:15 CELEBRATING LIFE IN RECOVERY, YOU NEED TO SEE THAT. 02:20 WE'RE COMING TO YOU LIVE, SO THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY 02:25 MISTAKES. [ LAUGHTER ] 02:26 >> NOW WE'RE IN TROUBLE. >> YEAH, WE ARE IN TROUBLE. 02:29 AND I HAVE TO SAY THIS, DANNY AND YVONNE WERE SO LOOKING 02:33 FORWARD TO DOING THIS INTERVIEW TONIGHT. 02:36 AND THE REASON I GOT TAPPED ON THE SHOULDER IS BECAUSE AN 02:42 ADVENTIST SURGEON GOT AHOLD OF DANNY A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO AND 02:47 REMOVED HIS GALLBLADDER. >> NO WAY. 02:49 >> YES, WAY. >> WE HAVE TO PRAY FOR HIM 02:53 TONIGHT. >> WE WILL PRAY FOR HIM TONIGHT. 02:56 BUT DANNY HAS DONE NOTHING BUT BRAG ON HIS SURGEON. 03:00 AND DANNY WAS DOWN THERE DOING THE NEW MUSIC PROJECT THAT WE 03:04 HAVE COMING UP FOR CAMP MEETING ON THE THREE ANGELS' MESSAGES, 03:13 AND DANNY SAID THAT THE DOCTOR PRAYED WITH HIM BEFORE THE 03:17 SURGERY, AND HE HAS JUST BRAGGED AND BRAGGED AND BRAGGED, SO I'M 03:23 GOING TO GO GOWN TO NASHVILLE IF I NEED ANYTHING DONE. 03:26 [ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT'S AMAZING. 03:28 >> TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO GET CAUGHT UP WITH CHERI ON WHAT IS 03:32 GOING ON IN HER LIFE AND HER MINISTRY, AND SHE WILL BE 03:35 TALKING TO US AND SHARING WITH US THE CHANGING FACE OF 03:39 ADDICTION, AND THIS IS GOING TO BE A LIVELY TWO HOURS, BUT IT'S 03:44 INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KNOW, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, SATAN -- IF 03:49 HE CAN'T TRAP US ONE WAY. SOME OF US MAY SAY I DON'T HAVE 03:53 DRUG ADDICTIONS, I DON'T HAVE ALCOHOL ADDICTIONS, I'M NOT AN 03:58 ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY, WELL, YOU ARE GOING TO FIND OUT TONIGHT, 04:01 ALMOST ALL OF US ARE, AND SOME OF US DON'T REALIZE THE DANGER 04:06 WE'RE IN ACTUALLY. BEFORE WE GET STARTED, THOUGH. 04:09 WE WERE GOING TO READ 1 CORINTHIANS 1:26. 04:15 AND YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED THIS. 04:19 PAUL SAYS YOU SEE YOUR CALLING, BRETHREN THAT NOT MANY WISE 04:25 ACCORDING TO THE FLESH, NOT MANY MIGHTY, NOT MANY NOBLE ARE 04:31 CALLED, BUT GOD HAS CHOSEN THE FOOLISH THINGS OF THE WORLD TO 04:35 PUT TO SHAME THE WISE. I THINK WE BOTH SIT IN THAT 04:40 CATEGORY. >> WELL, A LOT OF PEOPLE FIT IN 04:42 THAT CATEGORY, AND SOMETIMES WE STEP BACK AND WE'RE LIKE WHO AM 04:47 I TO DO ANYTHING, AND GOD SAYS JUST STAND UP, BE BRAVE AND 04:52 WATCH WHAT I CAN DO, AND SO THAT WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE VERSES 04:58 BECAUSE OF THAT, BECAUSE HE IS NOT LOOKING FOR US TO BE GREATER 05:01 OR WISER, HE IS SAYING JUST TRUST ME. 05:04 >> HE SAYS GOD HAS CHOSEN THE WEAK THINGS OF THE WORLD TO 05:11 SHAME THE THINGS THAT ARE MIGHTY. 05:12 THIS IS TRUE, BECAUSE I THINK THE REASON GOD CHOOSES THE WEEK 05:21 AND THE FOOLISH THINGS OF THE WORLD -- BECAUSE I OFTEN ASK 05:28 MYSELF WHO AM I TO SHARE THE GOSPEL. 05:36 AND REMEMBER, BLESSING IS ON THE GO! SO IF YOU JUST STAND UP AND 05:40 SAY, LORD, HERE I AM SIN ME, HE WILL DO GREAT THINGS THROUGH 05:48 YOU. BUT BEFORE WE GET ROCKING AND 05:50 ROLLING, LET'S HAVE SOME MUSIC FIRST. 05:53 WE KNOW HOW MUCH WE LOVE MUSIC, AND TONIGHT WE HAVE ONE OF MY 05:59 FAVORITES, RUDY MICELLI, SINGING ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS, "OH I 06:04 WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE." ♪ 06:33 ♪ ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE ♪ 07:20 ♪ DEEP WITHIN MY SOUL ♪ ♪ I WANT TO KNOW YOU ♪ 07:24 ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU ♪ ♪ FEEL YOUR HEART AND KNOW YOUR 07:32 MIND ♪ ♪ LOOK WITHIN YOUR EYES ♪ 07:42 ♪ I WANT TO KNOW YOU ♪ ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE ♪ 08:02 ♪ ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE ♪ 08:55 ♪ DEEP WITHIN MY SOUL ♪ ♪ I WANT TO KNOW YOU, OH, I WANT 09:02 TO KNOW YOU ♪ ♪ SEE YOUR HEART, AND KNOW YOUR 09:08 MINE ♪ ♪ LOOK WITHIN YOUR EYES ♪ 09:14 ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU ♪ ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU ♪ 09:20 ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU ♪ ♪ AND I WOULD GIVE MY FINAL 09:31 BREATH ♪ ♪ TO KNOW YOU IN YOUR DEATH AND 09:36 RESURRECTION ♪ ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE ♪ 09:41 ♪ OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU ♪ ♪ KNOW YOU MORE ♪ 09:54 ♪ LORD, I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE ♪ 10:20 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH, RUDY MICELLI, AND, YOU KNOW, THAT IS 10:25 A SINCERE HEART CRY FOR HIM. HE IS A WONDERFUL PERSON, AND 10:29 GOD HAS GIVEN HIM SUCH A GIFT. WE'RE SO GLAD HE USES IT FOR THE 10:35 GLORY OF THE LORD. OUR SPECIAL GUEST TONIGHT IS 10:39 CHERI PETERS WHO IS THE FOUNDER OF TRUE STEP MINISTRIES, MOST 10:42 WIDELY, KNOWN, I THINK, ON 3ABN AS THE HOST OF CELEBRATING LIFE 10:46 IN RECOVERY. A DEAR FRIEND. 10:49 A FRIEND OF 3ABN, AND A DEAR PERSONAL FRIEND, PRECIOUS PERSON 10:55 AND A WILD WOMAN IN A GOOD WAY. [ LAUGHTER ] 10:58 >> I GOT TO SAY WITH -- WITH RUDY THAT LAST TIME I WORKED 11:02 WITH HIM, HE GOT UP AND SANG, AND I WAS SPEECHLESS, AND I'M 11:07 NOT SPEECHLESS, BUT HE DOES HAVE -- HE IS THE REAL DEAL AS 11:11 FAR AS A MAN OF GOD, AND HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD. 11:14 >> AND HE MINISTERS THROUGH MUSIC. 11:17 >> YEAH YEAH. 11:18 I WAS DEFINITELY SPEECHLESS. >> IT'S NOT A PERFORMANCE, IT'S 11:22 A MINISTRY. >> YEAH. 11:25 AND I WANT TO SAY FOR DANNY -- AND I WOULD LIKE TO 11:28 PRAY FOR HIM -- >> ABSOLUTELY. 11:30 >> -- IF IT WASN'T FOR DANNY, I WOULDN'T BE DOING ANY MINISTRY, 11:37 BECAUSE WHAT YOU DO FOR A LO OF PEOPLE AND WHAT YOU DID FOR ME 11:40 IS YOU LOOKED AT ME LIKE, MAN, WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP WITH YOUR 11:48 CALLING? [ LAUGHTER ] 11:49 >> AND NO MATTER WHAT GOD CALLED ME TO DO, I HAD SUCH SUPPORT 11:54 FROM EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE, ESPECIALLY DANNY. 11:57 SO MY HEART GOES OUT TO HIM AND HIS SURGERY, AND I JUST PRAY FOR 12:02 A SPEEDY RECOVERY. >> WHY DON'T WE PRAY RIGHT NOW. 12:06 AND PRAY FOR OUR AUDIENCE AS WELL, BECAUSE WE STARTED BY 12:10 SAYING THAT GOD CHOOSES THE FOOLISH THINGS OF THE WORLD SO 12:15 HE CAN SHOW HIS MAG IF GANSZ THROUGH US. 12:26 SO SOME PEOPLE AT HOME FEELING YOU DON'T HAVE PURPOSE, GOD CAN 12:32 USE YOU. >> DEAR FATHER GOD, FIRST OF 12:34 ALL, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE YOUR 12:39 HAND ON US, THAT YOU USE ANY OF -pUS. I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR 12:43 THAT. AND RIGHT NOW WHILE DANNY IS 12:46 GOING THROUGH SURGERY, IT IS NEVER EASY TO HAVE SOMEBODY CUT 12:49 INTO YOU, AND I JUST PRAY AS HE IS GOING THROUGH THAT HELP HIM 12:54 REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE GOD AND YOU ARE GREAT, AND YOUR HAND IS 12:58 ON HIM, AND ANYBODY WATCHING IN THE AUDIENCE, THIS IS A TIME 13:02 THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FEARFUL, BUT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM 13:06 US. THIS IS A TIME RIGHT NOW THAT WE 13:08 CAN STAND UP AND SHOW THE CHARACTER AND GLORY OF GOD, AND 13:13 WE GET TO BE A PART OF THIS END TIME. 13:17 I PRAY FOR YOUR HOLY SPIRIT, ANOINT US, PUT YOUR HAND ON US, 13:24 AND ANYBODY WATCHING, WE HOPE WE HEAR YOUR STORIES. 13:29 >> AMEN. HAH AMEN. 13:31 AND I DO WANT TO REPORT SO THAT NO ONE IS OVERLY CONCERNED, 13:35 DANNY IS DOING EXTREMELY WELL. AND OF COURSE -- 13:39 >> HE IS A FIGHTER. >> HE IS. 13:41 HE IS. BUT THE STORY THAT YOU SHARED 13:45 ABOUT HOW DANNY AND 3ABN GAVE YOU A PLATFORM AND GOT YOU 13:51 STARTED AND HELP TRAIN YOU UP, WE HAR THAT STORY ALL THE TIME. 13:55 THAT'S WHAT 3ABN IS ABOUT. AS MUCH AS IT'S A MENDING BROKEN 14:00 PEOPLE NETWORK, IT HAS GIVEN SO MANY PEOPLE -- NOBODY KNEW DOUG 14:05 BATCHELOR BEFORE HE STARTED COMING HERE EITHER. 14:08 SO I WOULD LIKE TO DO ONE THING. MOST OF US KNOW YOUR STORY SO 14:13 WELL, AND SHE IS LITERALLY A MIRACLE FROM THE STREETS, BUT WE-HAVE SO MANY NEW VIEWERS, COULD 14:20 YOU GIVE US THE READER'S DIGEST VERSION OF WHERE GOD FOUND YOU 14:27 AND HOW HE BROUGHT YOU OUT? >> EVERY TIME I GET TO TELL THIS 14:31 STORY, IT VINDICATES GODS CHARACTER. 14:36 I WAS RAISED BY A COUPLE OF KIDS THAT WERE LOST IN ALL KINDS OF 14:41 THINGS, YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW, MY DAD EVENTUALLY DIED 14:44 IN A CRACK HOUSE, AND MY MOM HAD FIVE KIDS AND I WAS 14:49 PROBABLY -- YOU KNOW, I WAS THE SECOND CHILD, AND I WAS THE 14:54 CHILD THAT SHE FELT KIND OF RUINED HER LIFE. 14:57 IF SHE WASN'T PREGNANT SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE STUCK WHERE 15:02 SHE WAS AND ALL OF THAT KIND OF STUFF. 15:05 SO I DON'T THINK I HAD A MOM OR A DAD. 15:08 MY DAD MOLESTED ME FROM THE TIME I WAS THREE-MONTH-OLD, AND MY 15:13 MOM TRIED TO SELF ABORT A NUMBER OF TIMES. 15:16 SO ONE OF THE THINGS I SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE AS A KID IS 15:21 TRYING TO BE LOVED. I WANTED TO BE LOVED IN THE 15:24 WORST WAY. I TRIED TO BE FUNNY AND CUTE AND 15:27 DO THE RIGHT THING, AND BY THE AGE OF 8, I PROBABLY 15:31 HAD -- I -- I WOULD SAY MY FIRST REAL SUICIDE ATTEMPT. 15:36 I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF BY JUMPING OFF OF A HOUSE, AND BY 15:40 13 I WAS ON THE STREETS OF LOS ANGELES, AND WHEN I SAY THAT, IF 15:44 SOMEBODY KNOWS WHAT THAT IS ABOUT, THEY CAN GET A SENSE OF 15:48 THAT, BUT WHEN I ENDED UP ON THE STREETS HOMELESS BY 13, THERE 15:53 WERE ABOUT 80,000 KIDS LIKE ME IN ONE MAJOR CITY IN L.A. 15:58 SO YOU WERE PICKED UP AND FUNNELED INTO SOME PRETTY DARK 16:02 INDUSTRIES RIGHT AWAY. FOR ME WITHIN THE -- 24 HOURS. 16:09 AND I THOUGHT MY GROWING UP YEARS WERE TOUGH. 16:12 BUT WHAT I SAW ON THE STREETS AND WHAT WE'RE CAPABLE OF DOING, 16:17 AND WHEN WE TALK ABOUT ADDICTIONS THAT'S MY PASSION, 16:20 BUT WHAT I SAW WAS SO DARK AND SO UGLY, AND AT 23 YEARS OLD I 16:25 WAS DONE. SOMEBODY PUT A GUN TO MY FACE, 16:27 AND THEY WERE GOING TO BLOW MY HEAD OFF, AND I THOUGHT THANK 16:31 YOU SO MUCH, I'M SO DONE. AND THEN HE CHANGED HIS MIND AND 16:38 I'M LIKE PLEASE JUST SHOOT ME. AND SHORTLY AFTER THAT, HE LEFT, 16:43 AND OF COURSE WAS JUST TRYING TO SCARE ME. 16:46 AND I DID NOT WANT TO TAKE A BREATH. 16:50 I DID NOTING WANT TO BE THERE, AND SHORTLY AFTER THAT I ENDED 16:55 UP MEETING GOD IN A DRUG HOUSE STRUNG OUT ON HEROIN AND THE 17:02 ONLY THING I FELT WAS TOTALLY LOVED. 17:06 I FELT LIKE WHAT HE SAID WAS IF YOU TRUST ME I CAN CHANGE YOUR 17:11 LIFE. I HAD 42 WARRANTS FOR MY ARREST. 17:16 I WAS STRUNG OUT, I WAS FAIRLY ILLITERATE, AND I HOPE SOMEBODY 17:21 HEARS WHAT I SAY NEXT, BUT WHAT HE GAVE ME WAS A LITTLE BIT OF A 17:25 VISION OF WHO I AM THE DAY AFTER RESURRECTION. 17:29 NOT WHO AM I THE DAY AFTER I PULL A NEEDLE OUT OF MY ARM, BUT 17:36 I AM VERY MUCH A WANTED CHILD AND VERY MUCH INNOCENT. 17:39 AND I JUST WEPT, BECAUSE I THOUGHT I HAVE NEVER BEEN LOVED 17:43 OR BEAUTIFUL OR INNOCENT. AND GOD SAID I HAVE NEVER SEEN 17:47 YOU ANY OTHER WAY. AND I THINK THE DEVIL LIES TO US 17:51 AND SAYS THIS IS HOW HE SEES US. BUT HE KNOWS WHO WE ARE THE DAY 17:58 AFTER RESURRECTION. AND HE SAYS TRUST ME. 18:02 I'LL GET YOU HOME. AND I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO READ 18:05 AND GO TO SCHOOL AND FIGURE OUT, YOU KNOW, HOW DO I LIVE AROUND 18:10 NORMAL FOLKS WHEN NOTHING I HAVE EVER HAD HAPPEN WAS NORMAL, 18:15 AND -- AND THEN I FOUND OUT -- >> YOU MENTIONED ONCE TO ME 18:19 THAT -- WHAT PEOPLE DO YOU GO TO CHURCH, AND THEY ARE TALKING 18:22 ABOUT THE WEATHER, AND YOU ARE LIKE, ARE YOU KIDDING? 18:27 THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT WEATHER? >> AGAIN. 18:31 I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SOCIALIZE. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO READ -- I 18:35 JUST DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING. AND SO GOD HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY 18:39 INCREDIBLE. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. 18:40 AND PUT SOME PEOPLE IN MY LIFE THAT WERE INCEDIBLE. 18:43 I MET A WOMAN THAT LET ME DO RECOVERY AT HER HOUSE, AND SHE 18:49 WAS A VEGAN VEGETARIAN ADVENTIST, AND I THOUGHT I WAS 18:53 IN HELL. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SAY THAT, 18:56 BUT AS A DRUGGY YOU THINK THIS IS WHERE YOU GO FOR ETERNITY 19:02 WHEN YOU HAVE REALLY ACTED OUT.-BUT SHE SAVED MY LIFE. SHE IS TRYING TO GIVE ME 19:10 CANTALOUPE, AND I'M TRYING TO GET COFFEE OR DRUGS OR ANYTHING, 19:15 AND SHE SAID HOW ABOUT WATER? AND I THOUGHT I CAN'T STOMACH 19:19 THAT. AND SHE WAS SO PATIENT WITH ME 19:21 AND SO LOVING, THAT SHE LET ME SEE THE FACE OF GOD AS A PERSON, 19:26 WHICH I HAD NEVER SEEN, AND THEN SHE KIND OF MENTORED ME LIKE YOU 19:32 NEED TO LEARN HOW TO READ AND TURN YOUR LIFE OVER AND FIND A 19:39 CHURCH, AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE. AND THE FACT THAT GOD EVEN SEES 19:45 PEOPLE LIKE US. AND NOW I KNOW THAT WE'RE ALL 19:48 SUCH A MESS, BUT -- BUT I HAVE NEVER NOT FELT -- I HAVE NEVER 19:54 NOT FELT LOVED BY HIM. >> AMEN. 19:57 >> NEVER. >> WHAT A BLESSING, BECAUSE SOME 20:00 OF US GROW UP IN CHURCH -- I GREW UP IN THE CHURCH OF CHRIST, 20:04 AND I LOVED JESUS, BUT I DIDN'T THINK GOD LOVED ME. 20:08 I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO RECEIVE THAT LOVE UNTIL ONE DAY AS I WAS 20:12 PRAYING AS AN ADULT, AND JUST REALLY PUSHING INTO 20:17 THE -- PRESSING INTO THE PRESENCE OF GOD THAT ALL OF A 20:21 SUDDEN I'M JUST WORSHIPPING HIM, AND WHAT I HEARD HIM SAY TO ME 20:26 WAS, ALL OF THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WANTED A FATHER -- BECAUSE MY 20:33 DAD WAS KILLED WHEN I WAS SIX, AND SO I DIDN'T HAVE THAT 20:38 SECURITY. AND THE LORD JUST LET ME KNOW, I 20:40 HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE. I AM YOUR FATHER. 20:44 AND IT WAS LIKE, WOE. AND THEN I FOUND HEBREWS 1:3 20:49 THAT SAID THAT JESUS IS THE EXACT REPRESENTATION -- HERE I 20:54 LOVED JESUS, BUT I HAD SUCH A FEAR OF THE FATHER, BUT YOU TOLD 21:01 ME IN THE GREEN ROOM, AND I WANT YOU TO SHARE THIS STORY -- YOU 21:06 TOLD ME IN THE GREEN ROOM RECENTLY -- YOU HAVE BEEN 21:09 THROUGH A LOT. YOU WERE DIAGNOSED WITH 21:11 CANCER -- I'LL LET YOU TELL THE STORY, BUT YOU WENT TO THE 21:15 OKLAHOMA ACADEMY -- >> LET ME SET THAT UP, THOUGH. 21:20 >> ALL RIGHT. WHAT WAS REALLY INTERESTING TO 21:22 ME IS COMING FROM MEETING GOD AND GOING TO SCHOOL, AND I GOT A 21:27 NURSING DEGREE, AND GOT INTO MINISTRY, SO GOD HAS THE BLESSED 21:32 SINCE 1979 ALL THE WAY TO LIKE TODAY OR THE LAST FEW YEARS, HE 21:37 HAS BLESSED MORE THANK CAN EVEN IMAGINE. 21:40 I CAN'T -- I FEEL LIKE HE KISSES ME ON THE FACE EVERY DAY, AND 21:44 IT'S LIKE I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET UP. 21:46 I WAS MARRIED, AND I HAVE A CHILD AND ALL OF THAT STUFF -- 21:50 >> AND A GRANDCHILD. >> AND A LITTLE GRANNY, AND WHAT 21:55 IS REALLY INTERESTING ABOUT OUR WALK IS THAT -- THAT 21:59 I -- THERE'S A -- A THING I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU FROM MY 22:06 DEVOTIONAL THAT BRAD GAVE ME. AND WITH OUR WALK -- 22:10 >> AND BRAD IS YOUR HUSBAND. >> BRAD IS YOUR HUSBAND. 22:12 >> OKAY. >> AND HE SAID AT ONE POINT, HE 22:16 SAID SATAN DOESN'T -- SATAN DOESN'T -- SATAN DOESN'T CONCERN 22:25 HIMSELF WHEN WE'RE EATING CEREAL OR BUSHING OUR TEETH OR MAKING A 22:31 PIT STOP, THEY ARE PHYSICAL FUNCTIONS THAT DON'T EFFECT YOUR 22:36 RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD OR HIS PEOPLE. 22:38 HOWEVER, THE MOMENT YOU CROSS INTO THE WORLD WHERE YOUR 22:41 CHARACTER CAN BE EXPRESSED HE IS RIGHT THERE. 22:44 SATAN CRAFTS MORAL TEMPTATIONS TO CRAFT WITH YOU. 22:51 HE IS LOOKING TO SPECIFIC NEEDS OF HIS CUSTOMER. 22:54 HE PULLS OUT YOUR PASTS, HE RESEARCHES YOUR TRIGGERS AND 23:00 INVESTIGATES YOUR LESS-NOBLE WAYS OF DEALING WITH PRESSURE, 23:03 STRESS, AND RESPONSIBILITY. SATAN NEVER ACCIDENTALLY TEMPS 23:09 MAN. >> HUM. 23:11 >> THE MEANS OF HIS TIMING ALWAYSCOLESSES WITH WHAT IS 23:16 GOING ON INSIDE OF MAN AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. 23:20 SO IN MY YEARS OF MEETING GOD AND GETTING INTO THAT KIND OF 23:25 STUFF, WHAT WAS REALLY INTERESTING TO ME IS THE 23:30 DEVIL -- HE COULD HIT ME WITH A LOT OF THINGS, BUT NOT MUCH 23:35 ROCKED ME. I HAD MET GOD. 23:37 I COULD THINK, AND I HAD MY MIND. 23:41 HE RESTORED MY SANITY, AND I HAVE A HOME, AND SO HE COULDN'T 23:45 DO MUCH. BUT EVEN WITH JESUS WHEN HE WAS 23:48 TEMPTED IN THE WILDERNESS, SATAN LEFT HIM ALONE AND THEN CAME 23:53 BACK AT A MORE OPPORTUNE TIME. AND NOT THAT LONG AGO I 24:01 UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANT, AND I WAS GETTING HIT WITH ONE THING 24:06 AFTER ANOTHER AFTER ANOTHER AFTER ANOTHER, AND MY HUSBAND 24:09 WAS -- THERE WAS STUFF IN THE RELATIONSHIP. 24:12 HAYE KNOW AS A GOOD CHRISTIAN, THAT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT 24:16 STRUGGLES IN MARRIAGES, BUT THAT'S OVER TONIGHT, SO WE WERE 24:21 HAVING STRUGGLES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND IT WAS ONE 24:26 THING AFTER ANOTHER. AND MY MOTHER-IN-LAW MOVED IN, 24:31 AND THAT'S REALLY TOUGH, AND WHAT WAS HARD ABOUT MY 24:34 MOTHER-IN-LAW, IS YOU HEARD MY BACKGROUND THAT I'M NOT THE 24:39 FIRST CHOICE FOR ANY MOTHER WIH HER SON. 24:43 IF YOU WERE TO DRAW A NAME OUT OF A HAT, IT WOULDN'T BE A 24:49 HOMELESS HEROIN ADDICT THAT HAS THIS FAMILY. 24:52 >> YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW IS VERY SOPHISTICATED -- 24:56 >> VERY SOFT US -- SOPHISTICATED. 25:02 SO IT WAS TOUGH FORHER TO ACCEPT ME FOR YEARS, SO MOVING IN, ALL 25:09 OF THOSE TRIGGERS CAME UP, AND I THINK THE DEVIL REALLY TOOK 25:13 ADVANTAGE OF THAT, SO I STARTED LOOKING AT SOME THINGS, AND 25:17 SOMEBODY SAID YOU NEED TO STUDY DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS 25:20 AND -- AND -- AND I DID, AND ONE DAY, I WAS HAVING SUCH A TOUGH 25:28 TIME, REALLY TOUGH TIME, AND I CAME IN THE HOUSE, AND I SAID, 25:34 YOU KNOW, GOD, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS, 25:37 AND I REMEMBER GOING TO OKLAHOMA ACADEMY AND -- AND -- AND 25:41 I -- THEY GAVE ME A BIBLE AND ALL OF THE KIDS SIGNED IT, SO I 25:47 WENT AND FOUND THE BIBLE AND OPENED IT UP, AND GOD SAID I 25:50 WANT YOU TO READ EVERYTHING THAT THESE KIDS WROTE, AND WHAT WAS 25:54 INCREDIBLE TO ME ABOUT THIS BIBLE IS I HAD GONE TO DO A WEEK 25:58 OF PRAYER AT THE ACADEMY, AND I LOVE THEM. 26:02 I LOVE WORKING WITH YOUNG ADULTS OR YOUNG KIDS, AND -- AND -- SO 26:07 I WENT TO DO A WEEK OF PRAYER, AND I HAD JUST BEEN DIAGNOSED 26:11 WITH CANCER, SO IT WAS ANOTHER TIME THAT WAS REALLY TOUGH. 26:15 AND WHEN I SAID TO THESE KIDS -- THEY SAID, YOU KNOW, HOW 26:19 ARE YOU, AND WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON? 26:21 AND I WAS GOING TO SAY IT NONCHALANTLY THAT I JUST 26:29 DIAGNOSED WITH LEUKEMIA, AND WHEN I SAID IT, I TEARED UP. 26:33 AND YOU KNOW ME, I'M NOT A CRIER, I AM JUST NOT THAT 26:39 PERSON. AND ONE OF THE KIDS SAID TO 26:41 ANOTHER ONE, THEY WHISPERED SOMETHING, AND THEN THEY SAID, 26:45 WOULD YOU MIND IF I SANG A SONG FOR YOU? 26:48 AND I THOUGHT, YEAH. SO THEY PUT ME IN A CHAIR IN THE 26:52 MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, AND THEY GATHERED AROUND ME, AND THEY SAW 26:56 THE FEAR IN ME, AND THEY SAID I THINK YOU FORGOT HOW GOOD GOD 27:05 IS. AND THEY SANG THIS SONG THAT WAS 27:07 ABOUT THE GREATNESS OF GOD, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT WAS THERE, AND 27:11 IT WAS SO INCREDIBLE, AND I STARTED TO CRY, AND ONE BY ONE 27:15 THE KIDS STARTED TO CRY, AND WHEN THEY STARTED TO CRY, IT'S 27:20 HARD TO SING, SO THEY FELL ON THEIR KNEES, AND ONE BY ONE WE 27:25 WERE ON THE FLOOR SOBBING ABOUT THE GREATNESS OF GOD. 27:29 SO AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE, WHEN I'M LOOKING AT ALL OF THIS 27:35 DYSFUNCTION, I'M REMEMBERING THE GREATNESS OF GOD, AND BLAD H 27:39 BRAD HAH H H -- BRAD AND I HAD SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME, AND THERE 27:47 WAS ONE STRESS AFTER ANOTHER AFTER ANOTHER, AND I JUST WANT 27:51 TO SAY TO ANYBODY OUT THERE, BE CAREFUL HOW THE DEVIL LEADS YOU, 27:55 BECAUSE I THINK WHAT HE DID WITH ME, BECAUSE I WAS SO INSECURE, 28:00 AND ALL OF MY TRIGGERS WERE COMING OUT, AND I WAS DEALING 28:04 WITH THIS HOUSEHOLD WITH NOT KNOWING HOW TO ACT OR IF I'M 28:09 EVEN WANTED, THE DEVIL SAID YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE UPSET ABOUT 28:14 THIS, YOU KNOW? >> SOMETIMES READING A BOOK 28:19 ABOUT IT CAN MAKE IT WORSE? >> WELL, IT MADE IT WORSE. 28:24 AND I'M STUDYING ABOUT DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP, AND 28:29 I GOT SO GOOD AT THE STUDIES THAT SOME OF THE COUNSELORS FROM 28:34 THE VA HOSPITAL SAID WOULD YOU DO IN-SERVICES. 28:37 YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW HOW THAT IS. 28:39 YOU STUDY IN THAT SAME WAY, SO PRETTY SOON I THOUGHT YOU KNOW 28:46 WHAT, I THINK I JUST NEED TO -LEAVE, YOU KNOW? >> THAT'S PRETTY SERIOUS. 28:55 >> YEAH. AND ONE DAY SOMETHING HAPPENED 28:57 AND IT WAS HORRIBLE, AND IT WAS JUST SUCH AN INTENSE DAY, THAT I 29:03 THOUGHT, I'M JUT LEAVING. AND I GOT IN MY CAR, AND I'M 29:07 DRIVING AWAY -- AND I JUST HAVE TO SAY, I'M GOING TO KISS GOD ON 29:12 HIS FACE WHEN I SEE HIM.-SO I'M DRIVING AWAY AND THERE IS THIS HUGE ROADBLOCK, AND I TURN 29:21 THE CORNER AND THERE IS ANOTHER ROADBLOCK, AND I GET TO THIS 29:24 PLACE WHERE I'M GOING TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT AND GO TO THE 29:28 AIRPORT AND FLY OUT, AND MY CAR BREAKS DOWN. 29:31 AND I'M THINKING, I THINK THE DEVIL IS JUST STOPPING ME. 29:35 BUT IT WAS GOD. AND I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 29:38 SO FINALLY I CALL A RENT A CAR PLACE, AND I THOUGHT I'M GOING 29:43 TO RENT A CAR, WELL, IT WAS 5 MINUTES AFTER 6:00 AND THE PLACE 29:49 CLOSED AT 6:00. AND I'M THINKING THIS IS 29:52 RIDICULOUS SO NOW I HAVE TO CALL-pBRAD. AND ONE THING LEAD TO ANOTHER 29:58 AND A FRIEND OF MINE -- AND IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING, I LEFT 30:03 FOR THE WEEKEND, AND WITHIN A COUPLE OF DAYS BRAD AND HIS MOM 30:08 OFFERED TO BUY MY HOUSE AND PUT IT IN THEIR NAME, I MINE IT WAS 30:11 SO BIZARRE, IT JUST HAPPENED SO FAST AND IT WAS SO CRAZY, SO NOW 30:16 THE REJECTED KID IN ME IS VERY HURT, LIKE I CAN BE THROWN OUT, 30:23 AND I MEAN IT WAS JUST A REALLY TOUGH THING. 30:26 AND I RAN INTO A FRIEND OF MINE JOE, AND HE IS JUST A WISE 30:31 GUY -- NOT WISE GUY -- HE IS JUST A WISE COUNSELOR, MAN OF 30:36 GOD. AND HE SAID CHERI, YOU KNOW WHAT 30:39 I LOVE ABOUT YOU -- AND I THOUGHT WHY? 30:42 BECAUSE I'M NOT FEELING VERY LOVABLE AT ALL. 30:45 MY WHOLE WORLD IS FALLING APART. AND HE SAID I LOVE THE FACT THAT 30:50 YOU LISTENED FOR GOD TO LEAD YOU. 30:53 YOU HEAR HIS VOICE, AND I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED THAT ABOUT YOU, AND 30:57 I SAID -- YOU KNOW, I LOOKED AT HIM LIKE WHERE ARE YOU GOING 31:02 WITH THIS? AND WHEN I FIRST MET HIM, HE HAD 31:05 LEFT THE CHURCH, AND HE AND HIS WIFE DECIDED TO COME TO THE 31:10 CHURCH ONE MORE TIME. AND THEY SAID WE ARE GOING TO 31:17 SIT NEXT TO SOMEBODY AND SAY WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT GOD AND 31:21 IF THEY HAVE A LAME ANSWER, WE'RE OUT OF THERE. 31:25 AND HE SAID DID GOD SAY YOU COULD LEAVE BRAD? 31:29 AND HE JUST STOPPED TALKING. AND I WAS SO MAD BECAUSE I 31:33 WANTED TO LIE. BUT IT WASN'T TRUE. 31:36 AND HE SAID UNLESS GOD SAYS YOU NEED TO GO HOME. 31:42 AND IT WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER DID. 31:45 BUT I WENT HOME, AND NOW I HAVE TO STUDY GOD -- WHAT 31:49 HAPPENED -- WHAT HAPPENED THAT I COULD FEEL SO RIGHT, AND I HOPE 31:54 I AM TALKING TO SOMEBODY, BUT I CAN FEEL SO RIGHT, I GET ALL OF 31:57 THE BOOKS AND I'M SO RIGHT, EVERY ONE OF THEM BACKED ME UP, 32:02 I DIDN'T EXAGGERATION ON THE DISFUNCTION, AND HOW COULD I BE 32:07 SO RIGHT AND BE SO WRONG SPIRITUALLY. 32:11 AND I HAD TO ASK THAT QUESTION. AND GOD TOOK ME TO THE STORY OF 32:16 DAVID. >> UH-HUH. 32:18 >> AND SO I GO TO DAVID, AND HE TAKES ME TOO, THERE WAS A TIME 32:23 IN DAVID'S LIFE WHERE HE WAS SO TIRED AND -- AND HE WAS IN 32:28 BATTLE, AND HE LOOKED UP, AND HE IS FIGHTING, AND HE LOOKED UP 32:33 AND HE SEES GOLIATH, AND I THINK STUNS HIM, HE'S TIRED, HE IS 32:42 WEARY. HE IS LOOKING UP. 32:45 AND THE GUY BEHIND HIM ACTUALLY HAS TO KILL HIM, AND IT WAS THE 32:51 SON OF GOLIATH OR THE COUSIN OF GOLIATH. 32:57 IT'S IN 2 SAMUEL. SO DAVID RAN INTO A LOT OF 33:01 PEOPLE THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE GOLIATH. 33:07 BECAUSE HE KILLED THE GUY'S FATHER OR BROTHER OR COUSIN, AND 33:12 ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER, HE STARTED TO BELIEVE, I BELIEVE, 33:15 THAT AM I EVER GOING TO WIN THIS BATTLE? 33:21 AND HE HAD WON THE BATTLE. THIS WASN'T THE SAME BATTLE. 33:25 BUT IN 2 SAMUEL 11:1, EVERYBODY IS GOING TO GO OUT TO WAR -- HE 33:32 SENDS EVERYBODY OUT TO WAR, AND AS A KING, IT'S TIME TO 33:35 GO -- YOU KNOW, THE KING GOES, RIGHT? 33:38 BUT THIS TIME HE DOESN'T. HE STAYS BACK AND TAKES A NAP. 33:42 >> UH-HUH. INFORM 33:43 >> ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HE TAKES A NAP BECAUSE IT SAYS 33:48 IN THAT CHAPTER THAT HE GOT UP TOWARDS EVENING TIME. 33:52 SO HIS MAN ARE BEING KILLED AT WAR, AND HE IS TAKING A NAP. 33:57 SO GOD WAS TAKING ME TO THAT PLACE WHERE HE GOT DISCOURAGED 34:04 IN PROVERBS WHERE IT SAYS THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN WE GET SICK WHEN 34:09 WE GET DISCOURAGED AND WE LOSE HOPE. 34:11 SO I WAS READING THIS STORY, AND I WAS SO THERE, AND THE DEVIL IS 34:16 SO STRATEGIC, SO HE LITERALLY OPPRESSES IN SUCH A WAY THAT WE 34:24 THINK WE'RE FOLLOWING TRUTH WHEN WE START TO FOLLOW ERROR. 34:28 SO I END UP READING THIS STORY ABOUT DAVID. 34:32 HE SEES BATHSHEBA, HE GETS HER PREGNANT, AND ALL OF THE STUFF 34:38 THAT TURNS FOR HIM, BUT HE JUZ JUST TIRED AND -- WEARY, AND GOD 34:46 SAY DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED. YOU HAVE WON THESE BATTLES. 34:50 I HAVE WON BATTLE AFTER BATTLE AFTER BATTLE THROUGH CHRIST. 34:56 NOT BECAUSE I WAS SO SMART OR WISE, BUT GOD HAS BEEN SO 35:00 FAITHFUL, AND WHEN THE DEVIL TRIGGERS YOU AND SAYS YOU NEVER 35:05 WON, THAT IS A LIE. SO I HAD TO APOLOGIZE TO BRAD 35:10 THAT I JUST GOT SO LOST IN MY TRIGGERS, AND I WANTED RELIEF, 35:14 AND I STARTED TO FOLLOW WHAT THE WORLD SAID THIS IS THE ANSWER, 35:19 AND THE DEVIL LITERALLY GAVE ME AS MUCH FODDER AS I NEEDED TO 35:23 START THIS FIRE. SO I SAID TO BRAD, WOULD YOU 35:28 PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I ALSO HAD TO GO TO MY CHURCH, 35:31 BECAUSE WHEN WE LET OURSELVES GET DISCOURAGED AND PULL AWAY, 35:35 EVERYONE THAT LOVES YOU -- I HAVE AN INCREDIBLE CHURCH 35:39 FAMILY, INCREDIBLE, SO I STOOD IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH, AND I 35:43 SAID WOULD YOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME, FOR EVERYTHING I PUT YOU 35:47 THROUGH WITH ALL OF MY CRAZINESS FOR THAT YEAR, SO WE CRIED 35:51 TOGETHER AND HELD EACH OTHER, BUT WHAT I LEARNED IS THE BATTLE 35:54 IS VERY REAL, AND -- AND -- AND 3 NOT ONLY IS THE BATTLE REAL, BUT 36:00 SATAN SAYS IF -- IF YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO START TO RESCUE 36:05 YOURSELF, YOU IN TROUBLE, AND YOU HAVE GOD TO TURN -- GOT TO 36:11 TURN IT TO GOD. >> WHEN WE CAN COME TO THE LORD 36:14 WITH OPEN GAPING WOUNDS AND REJECTION AS A CHILD -- I HAD 36:18 THAT FEAR OF ABANDONMENT AND REJECTION AND ALL OF THAT. 36:22 THAT IS SOMETHING -- THAT IS A VERY LARGE OPEN GAPING WOUND, 36:27 AND GOD HEALS THAT, BUT YOU STILL HAVE THE SCAR THERE, AND 36:31 IT'S LIKE SATAN KNOWS HOW TO COME IN AND THE VERY THING THAT 36:40 WAS YOUR WORST FEAR AND AS YOU SAID WHEN YOU ARE TIRED, WHEN 36:44 YOU ARE DOWN, WHEN EVERYTHING STARTS PILING ON, THEN HE GOES 36:49 FOR THAT TRIGGER POINT, AND THERE'S ONLY ONE TIME IN MY LIFE 36:54 THAT I WAS AT THAT POINT, ONLY BEEN TO A COUNSELOR ONE TIME, 36:58 AND I READ THE BOOK, AND I WENT INTO THE COUNSELOR, AND I'M 37:02 SITTING THERE, I HAVE THE BOOK OUT, LINED AND EVERYTHING, AND 37:06 RIGHT AT THE END OF THE HOUR, I BURST -- I MEAN THE TEARS 37:14 STARTED, AND I'M GOING EXCUSE ME. 37:17 AND HE SAID FINALLY. HE SAID I FELT LIKE I WAS 37:21 SITTING HERE TALKING TO ANOTHER COUNSELOR, BUT IT WAS -- IT 37:24 WAS -- WHEN THINGS START PILING UP, AND JUST LISTEN -- THERE ARE 37:29 SO MANY OF US THAT WE HAVE HAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE 37:33 PAST, AND GOD HAS MADE US OVER COMERS, BUT DON'T EVER FEEL 37:40 LIKE -- SATAN KNOWS YOUR NUMBER, AND HE IS GOING TO COME -- THE 37:45 ONE PLACE THAT WAS THE MOST PAINFUL THING IN YOUR LIFE, HE 37:48 IS GOING TO COME, WHATEVER IT IS, THAT IS WHERE HE'LL GET YOU 37:54 IF YOU ARE NOT GIVING EVERYTHING TO GOD, IF YOU ARE HOLDING ON, 37:59 TRYING TO FIX IT YOURSELF, AND REA 38:03 READING SECULAR BOOKS TOO. >> THE KNOWLEDGE I GOT FROM 38:09 THESE BOOKS, IT WAS GOOD INFORMATION, BUT I FORGOT THE 38:13 GREATNESS OF GOD. >> AMEN. 38:16 >> LET'S SAY BRAD PUT ME UNDER THE SAME SCRUTINY I PUT HIM 38:24 UNDER, I WOULDN'T HAVE SURVIVED. THE DYSFUNCTION THAT I 38:29 PERSONALLY HAD, AND THE THINGS THAT BRAD HAS TO DEAL WIT ME IS 38:34 ALL TRUE, AND I DON'T THINK WE CAN HOLD UP UNDER THE SCRUTINY 38:39 THAT THE DEVIL CAN PUT US UNDER, AND IF WE START DOING THAT TO 38:44 EACH OTHER, NONE OF US WOULD STAND. 38:46 SO WHAT GOD SAID TO ME AFTER A YEAR -- BECAUSE THAT WAS A YEAR 38:50 OF MY LIFE IS THAT YOU HAVE TO -- INSTEAD OF STUDYING ABOUT 38:54 THE DYSFUNCTION OF THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE, STUDY THE BIBLE. 38:58 GET BACK INTO THE WORD OF GOD, AND WHAT WAS -- WHAT I WOULD 39:03 LOVE TO SAY -- I WOULD LOVE TO SAY, OH, NO, I WAS DOING 39:08 DEVOTIONS EVERY DAY, BUT I WASN'T. 39:11 I WAS EVEN LISTENING TO BOOK TAPES AS I WAS DRIVING. 39:14 I WAS MAKING SURE I WAS MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION, SO I WAS 39:18 REALLY LOOKING AT ALL OF THIS STUFF, AND THE DEVIL JUST HAD ME 39:23 RUNNING, AND I CAN'T -- I THINK FOR ME, BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH A 39:30 STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED IN SO 39:35 MANY WAYS, THAT I HAD NO IDEA HOW STRATEGIC THE ENEMY IS TO 39:40 FIND THOSE CRACKS. AND ONE OF THE THINGS ABOUT 39:44 ANSWERING TO ONE ANOTHER, AND REALLY HAVING, YOU KNOW, FRIENDS 39:48 AROUND, AND PEOPLE THAT KNOW YOU AROUND, AND PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE 39:52 ACCOUNTABLE TO, IS THAT PEOPLE CAN SAY, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, BE 39:57 CAREFUL WITH THIS? >> I WANT TO FINISH THE STORY. 40:01 I BROKE DOWN CRYING. HE GAVE ME AN QUESTIONNAIRE AND 40:07 SEND ME HOME. AND IT WAS ALL OF THE NEGATIVE 40:10 THINGS ABOUT YOUR PARENTS AND CHILDHOOD AND ALL OF THIS STUFF. 40:15 AND I WAS STARTING TO FILL THIS OUT, AND THESE ARE THINGS THAT 40:20 GOD HAD HEALED ME LONG BEFORE. AND I WAS -- I GUESS IN MY 30S, 40:25 BUT AS I STARTED FOCUSING AS YOU SAID ON ALL OF THE NEGATIVE 40:29 THINGS, IT WAS LIKE -- YOU KNOW, AT FIRST I WAS OKAY, AND PRETTY 40:37 SOON IT WAS LIKE YOU WERE OPENING THAT SCAR, AND ABOUT 40:40 HALFWAY THROUGH THIS, I'M GETTING INTO A GOOD PITY PARTY, 40:44 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS IS WHAT I HEAR FROM THE LORD IS, YOU 40:48 KNOW, TURN YOUR EYES TO ME, TRUSTING IN ME. 40:52 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU PERFECT PEACE. 40:55 THIS IS ALL FROM THE PAST. I HAVE DONE A NEW THING IN YOU. 41:00 DO YOU NOT PERCEIVE IT. AND THIS IS WHAT -- I THINK WE 41:04 HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL WHEN WE REHASH THE NEGATIVE OF THE PAST. 41:08 >> AND -- AND TO ME, I -- I HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. 41:11 I DON'T -- I'M RIGHT ON THE EDGE, BECAUSE I WORK WITH SO 41:15 MANY PEOPLE -- BECAUSE I WORK WITH AT-RISK FOLKS THAT HAVE 41:21 PASSIONS THAT ARE CRAZY, AND THEY HAVE TO GET OUT OUT. 41:24 AND I THINK THERE ARE TIMES THAT THROUGH CHRIST LOOKING AT THAT 41:29 STUFF AND SURRENTING THAT STUFF, AND FORGIVING THE PEOPLE THAT 41:34 HAVE INJURED YOU IN YOUR LIFE, THAT IS ALL GOOD -- 41:37 >> BUT I HAD DONE THAT. >> -- THE DEVIL IS VERY 41:42 STRATEGIC IN THAT WHEN HE SEES THAT YOU ARE -- THT HE HAS 41:46 HIJACKED YOU -- I WAS HIJACKED FOR A YEAR. 41:49 >> YOU WERE. FOR A WHOLE YEAR? 41:51 >> FOR A WHOLE YEAR BEFORE I WALKED OUT. 41:54 >> WOW. >> SO WHAT IS REALLY INTERESTING 41:56 WITH BRAD AND I BEING ABLE TO LOOK AT EACHOR AND REPENT TO 42:02 EACH OTHER AND TO GOD IS TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND REALIZE THT 42:06 WE ARE NOT -- WE CANNOT STAND OUTSIDE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH 42:12 CHRIST, ESPECIALLY DEALING WITH ANY KIND OF STRESS. 42:15 >> AMEN. >> SO IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE 42:19 LEARNING EXPERIENCE TO ME, AND LOOKING BACK ON DAVID AND THE 42:25 BATTLE -- AND I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT THOSE THINGS ARE THE BIBLE 42:31 THAT PEOPLE DIDN'T JUST TELL ALL OF THEIR GOOD STORIES, BECAUSE I 42:36 DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED THIS ONE. 42:38 >> THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOD INSPIRED. 42:42 BECAUSE HE LETS YOU SEE -- YOU SEE US HERE AT 3ABN, AND WE LIVE 42:47 IN A BUBBLE. -- WE WORK WITH GOOD CHRISTIAN 42:58 PEOPLE, BUT NONE OF US ARE PERFECT, AND EVERYBODY THINKS IF 43:02 YOU ARE MINISTERING, THAT YOU ARE PERFECT. 43:06 NO, YOU ARE NOT. WE ALL HAVE ISSUES. 43:09 >> I WOULD LIKE TO BE PERFECT FOR JUST 24 HOURS. 43:13 >> YOU WILL SOME DAY. >> THE DAY AFTER RESURRECTION. 43:18 >> YOU GOT A GLIMPSE OF THAT. >> YEAH. 43:22 >> HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING WITH YOUR CANCER? 43:24 >> I GOT DIAGNOSED IN 2006. I HAVE NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEMS 43:34 WITH IT. I SAW AN ONCOLOGIST EVERY THREE 43:41 MONTHS FOR TWO YEARS, AND FINALLY, I SAID DO WE HAVE TO 43:45 KEEP DOING THIS. SO I HAVE NEVER BEEN TREATED, OR 43:51 HAD ANY PROBLEMS WITH IT. >> OKAY. 43:53 WE HAVE ABOUT 13 MINUTES LEFT. DO YOU WANT TO GO AHEAD AND JUMP 43:59 RIGHT INTO THE CHANGING FACE OF ADDICTION SO WE CAN GIVE THEM OF 44:04 HINT OF WHAT IS COMING UP IN THE SECOND HOUR? 44:08 >> I DO. IN THE MINISTRY I HAVE, ONE OF 44:11 THE THINGS THEY LOVE IS THE FACT THAT EVERY TIME WE GET PULLED 44:15 INTO AREAS THAT REALLY ROCK US IS THAT WE ARE EITHER AFRAID, 44:22 ANGRY, LONELY, THOSE THINGS DRIVE US TO TAKE CARE OF 44:25 OURSELVES. YOU KNOW, WHETHER IT'S -- EVEN 44:27 WITH EATING DISORDERS, LIKE IF I'M HAVING A HAD TIME, AND I 44:31 THINK I THINK THERE'S A GALLON OF ICE CREAM IN THE FRIG, I 44:36 ALREADY FEEL BETTER, SO WE TRY TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES. 44:40 SO I REALY HAVE OVER THE YEARS LOOKED AT ADDICTION. 44:45 I WAS AN ADDICT, MY FAMILY ARE ADDICTS. 44:51 GRAND PARENTS DIED IN THEIR ADDICTION WITH ALCOHOL AND SO I 44:57 REALLY LOOKED AT ADDICTION -- YOU KNOW, WE HAVE 45:01 BEEN ALL OVER THE WORLD LOOKING AT HOW WE LIVE WITH OUR VARIOUS 45:07 ADDICTIONS, AND THIS LAST YEAR, WHAT I HAVE SEEN IS WE ARE 45:11 DEALING WITH A GENERATION NOW THAT IS THE MOST ADDICTED 45:14 GENERATION IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES, AND -- OR THE 45:18 WORLD, I THINK, AND THAT IS, THIS YOUNGER GENERATION X AND Y 45:35 AND NOW Z. >> JUST IN THEIR ADDICTION TO 45:39 THEIR DEVICES. I'M LOOKING AT A GENERATION AND 45:43 I GET TO SPEAK AT HIGH SCHOOLS, ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS, COLLEGES, 45:54 AND THESE KIDS ARE THE BEST. AND WE'RE NOT LOOKING AT IT IN 45:59 THE SAME WAY WE LOOK AT DRUG ADDICTIONS, AND YOU KNOW -- AND 46:04 I HOPE I HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO SAY THIS, BUT SIGMUND FREUD WHEN HE 46:12 FIRST DID COCAINE, HE JUST THOUGHT THIS IS THE BEST, YOU 46:16 KNOW. AND HE DEALT WITH DEPRESSION AND 46:23 SOME ANXIETY, AND HE DID A COUPLE OF SNORTS OF COCAINE, AND 46:28 ALL OF A SUDDEN LIFE WAS GREAT. AND HE WROTE PAPERS ON IT, AND 46:35 HE WROTE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND SAID THIS IS SUCH A GOOD THING. 46:40 WELL, A YEAR OR TWO LATER, HIS NOSE IS BLOWING OUT, HE IS 46:44 HAVING ADDICTION ISSUES THAT ARE OVER THE TOP, AND HE HAD TO SAY 46:49 THAT THIS IS A NIGHTMARE, AND THE ONLY WAY -- HE HAD A HOLE IN 46:53 HIS NOSE, AND THE ONLY WAY TO SMOOTH IT WAS TO SNORT MORE 47:02 COCAINE. AND WITH SOME OF OUR ADDICTIONS 47:06 IT'S CLEAR IT TRASHES US, BUT WITH OUR DEVICE ADDICTIONS IT'S 47:12 NOT QUITE THAT CLEAR, BUT THE NEUROCHEMICAL CHANGES ARE 47:17 EXACTLY THE SAME. AND SO WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL 47:21 TALK ABOUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN THAT THEY ARE THE SAME? 47:24 AND I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ALARMIST, AND I DON'T WANT TO 47:28 SAY THIS GENERATION IS LOST, BECAUSE IT'S NOT. 47:31 THEY ARE INCREDIBLE. BUT I WANT TO PUT A FLAG UP AND 47:34 SAY IT'S TIME TO LOOK AT THIS AND MAYBE REIGN IN ON SOME 47:41 STUFF. >> I WAS READING THE OTHER DAY 47:43 THAT THE YOUNG GENERATION IS THE LONELY ESTROGEN -- LONELIEST 47:53 GENERATION THAT EVER HAS BEEN. AND PERSONALLY -- WE WERE AT A 47:57 MALL -- I THINK IT WAS IN ASH CHRISTMASTIME, AND I WAS 48:04 WATCHING THREE PRETTY LITTLE GIRLS, AND THEY WERE T 48:10 TALK -- WALKING TOGETHER, AND TWO OF THEM WERE HAVING SO MUCH 48:19 FUN.-AND THE THIRD LITTLE GIRL WAS -- AND I MENTIONED TO J.D., 48:24 I SAID THESE TWO GIRLS ARE CONNECTING, BUT THIS OTHER GIRL 48:29 IS ARTIFICIALLY CONNECTED, AND I THINK THAT IS WHAT IS LEADING TO 48:33 ALL OF THIS LONELINESS IS THEY ARE GETTING SO HOOKED ON 48:37 FACEBOOK, TWITTER, AND IT'S MEANINGLESS JUNKY STUFF, THERE'S 48:43 NO PERSONAL ONE-ON-ONE RELATION. AND WE THINK THIS IS JUST THE 48:49 YOUNGER GENERATION -- >> IT'S ALL OF US. 48:51 >> -- WE HAD A PARTY A FEW YEARS AGO, AND WE HAD A BUNCH OF THE 48:58 YOUNG PEOPLE FROM 3ABN, WELL, UP TO 35 YEAR OLDS. 49:03 AND WE WERE SITTING AROUND TALKING, AND THE NEXT THING I 49:07 KNOW, FIVE OR SIX OF THEM HAVE GOT -- YOU KNOW. 49:09 AND WE'RE HAVING THIS WONDERFUL TIME AND LAUGHING, AND THEY 49:13 ARE -- SO THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I RESISTED THE SMARTPHONE WHEN 49:20 IT FIRST CAME OUT, NOW I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT, AND 49:26 EVERY TIME IT BINGES I'M LIKE PAVLOV'S DOG. 49:32 WHEN IT BINGES, YOU ARE RIGHT THERE. 49:35 >> YEAH. >> AND I KNOW WE'RE GOING TO 49:37 TALK ABOUT ALL OF THESE THINGS WHEN WE COME BACK. 49:40 BUT WHAT WOULD YOU SAY HAS BEEN -- SINCE THAT DAY THAT YOU 49:45 WERE AT OKLAHOMA UNIVERSITY, AND YOU WERE REMINDED OF THE 49:52 GREATNESS OF GOD, BESIDES THE RESTORATION -- I MEAN, THE 49:58 AMAZING RESTORATION OF YOUR MARRIAGE, WHAT HAS BEEN THE 50:02 GREATEST JOY THAT GOD HAS BROUGHT TO YOU? 50:05 >> WELL, MY DAUGHTER JUST HAD A BABY. 50:08 AND I -- I GOT TO BE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM, AND THIS CHILD 50:12 BEING BORN AND I FELT LIKE EVERY SINGLE THING I HAVE EVER 50:17 STRUGGLED WITH MADE SINCE WHEN I HELD THIS CHILD. 50:21 SO I THINK THAT IT'S THAT GOD PROMISED TO CHANGE NOT ONLY MY 50:25 LIFE BUT GENERATIONALLY. AND SATAN, I THINK IS VERY ANGRY 50:29 ABOUT THAT. BUT GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL. 50:32 AND I AM HOLDING MY DAUGHTER WHO HAS NOT DONE A DRUG, AND I'M 50:38 HOLDING HER DAUGHTER THAT WAS BORN BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY. 50:41 SO I THINK THE RESTORATION OF FAMILY IS JUST INCREDIBLE. 50:46 INCREDIBLE. AND THE FAITHFULNESS OF GOD. 50:48 >> HAVE YOU EVER RESTORED -- I KNOW YOUR DAD IS DEAD, BUT DID 50:53 YOU EVER RESTORE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER? 50:56 >> WE TRIED A COUPLE OF TIMES, BUT -- I WISH I COULD SAY YES TO 51:01 THAT, BUT I GOT ADOPTED WHEN I WAS 43 BY A WOMAN THAT ASKED ME 51:06 THE SAME QUESTION, AND THEN SHE SAID CAN I ADOPT YOU, BUT MY MOM 51:13 AND ME -- BECAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH DAMAGE, WE TRIED TO, BUT IT 51:18 HAS NEVER WORKED. IF ANYBODY HAS A PRYER LIST, 51:21 JUST PUT ME ON THERE, SO I WOULD SAY NO. 51:24 AND MY -- MY, I WAS ABLE TO FORGIVE HER AND LET IT GO, AND I 51:30 WAS ABLE TO -- THE PAIN OF THAT, BE ABLE TO GIVE THAT TO GOD, BUT 51:34 LIKE I SAID WHEN MY MOTHER-IN-LAW MOVED IN, AND ALL 51:39 OF THAT REJECTION STUFF, AND ALL OF THOSE WOUNDS, I ALLOWED, I 51:44 THINK, THE DEVIL TO OPEN THOSE WIDE OPEN. 51:47 >> AND THAT IS MY POINT. IT IS ABOUT GIVING IT TO GOD. 51:53 IF YOU ARE ONLY FOCUSING -- I KNOW BY THE TIME I GOT HALFWAY 51:57 THROUGH THAT, I HAD TO TEAR IT UP, BECAUSE IT WAS TAKING ME 52:01 BACK TO A PLACE THAT GOD HAD ALREADY HEALED, AND I JUST -- IT 52:06 WAS AT A TIME IN MY LIFE THAT I WASN'T AS CLOSE TO GOD AS I 52:10 NEEDED TO BE, I THINK. SO IT IS SOMETHING -- WHAT IS 52:13 THAT SCRIPTURE, ISAIAH -- IS 43:18 OR -- YOU TALK HERE FOR A 52:20 MINUTE, DON'T LEAVE ANY DEAD AIR SPACE. 52:23 >> WELL, THERE ARE TIMES YOU HAVE TO -- LOOK AT THAT -- WHEN 52:28 IT SAYS CONFESS YOUR SINS ONE TO ANOTHER SO YOU MAY BE HEALED. 52:33 I THINK THERE IS BENEFIT IN TALKING WITH EACH OTHER. 52:39 BUT I THINK WE HAVE AN ENEMY THAT SAYS I CAN ALSO USE IT. 52:44 >> YEAH, AND THIS IS THE SCRIPTURE THAT COMES TO MY MIND. 52:48 WHEN YOU ARE TIRED, WHEN YOU HAVE THINGS PILED UPON AND PILED 52:52 UPON, IT IS SO EASY TO GET INTO A PITY PARTY. 52:56 AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, SELF PITY IS STRAIGHT FROM THE 53:01 PITS OF HELL. >> FEAR IS TOO. 53:03 >> FEAR IS AS WELL. BUT WHEN YOU GET INTO THAT SELF 53:09 PITY, THAT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE PITS OF HELL. 53:11 IF YOU HAVE GOT TO GIVE IT OVER TO GOD, BUT WHAT HE BROUGHT TO 53:15 ME WAS ISAIAH 43:18-19, HE SAID DO NOT REMEMBER THE FORMER 53:22 THINGS NOR CONSIDER THE THINGS OF OLD, BEHOLD, I WILL DO A NEW 53:30 THING. NOW IT SHALL SPRING FORTH SHALL 53:33 YOU NOT KNOW IT, I WILL EVEN MAKE A ROAD IN THE WILDERNESS, 53:39 AND RIVERS IN THE DESERT. THE BEASTS ARE HONOR ME, AND THE 53:49 OSTRICHES, BECAUSE I GIVE DRINK TO MY PEOPLE, MY CHOSEN, AND THE 53:53 PEOPLE I HAVE FORMED FOR MYSELF, THEY SHALL DECLARE MY PRAISE. 53:58 AND I THINK SOMETIMES -- SEE, WE FORGET TH GREATNESS OF GOD. 54:03 IT'S -- IT'S LIKE -- WE'RE LIKE THE ONES WHO ARE WANDERING IN 54:07 THE WILDERNESS, SAYING, OH, WHY DID YOU BRING US OUT HERE TO 54:12 DIE? YOU KNOW? 54:14 AND, YOU KNOW, THE LORD TOLD THEM IN NUMBERS 14, I BELIEVE. 54:18 HE KEPT TELLING -- HE GAVE THEM MANNA. 54:21 HE OPENED THE RED SEA FOR THEM. HE GAVE THEM MANNA. 54:25 HE GAVE THEM WATER FROM THE ROCK. 54:27 HE KEPT MEETING THEIR NEEDS, AND THEY KEPT SAYING TO MOSES, YOU 54:32 BROUGHT US OUT HERE TO DIE. AND GOD FINALLY SAYS TO THEM, 54:36 HEY, IF YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT IT IS, FINE. 54:42 IT WILL BECOME A SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY. 54:45 >> THERE WAS A CLIP I SAW ON FACEBOOK ONE TIME, AND IT HAD 54:49 A -- YOU KNOW THAT WHACK-'EM GAME. 54:53 >> WHACK-A-MOLE. >> YEAH, WHERE YOU HIT THE 54:57 THINGS THAT COME UP. AND THE WOMAN SAID THERE WAS A 54:59 LITTLE BOY IN LINE, AND HE IS 4 YEARS OLD, AND HE SAYS I DON'T 55:04 WANT TO STAND IN LINE. I WANT TO GO AND PLAY. 55:07 NO, NO, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN. 55:09 I DON'T WAT TO HIT THOSE THINGS. 55:11 YOU JUST HIT ONE AND IT POPS UP AND WHAT IS THE POINT? 55:14 AND EVERYBODY IS LAUGHING AT THIS KID. 55:18 AND SO AT ONE POINT THE MOTHER IS JUST LIKE -- SHHH. 55:24 AND PEOPLE STARTED LAUGHING AND TALKING, AND THE KID RN AROUND 55:29 EVERYBODY AND PULLED THE TABLE CLOTH OFF OF THE GAME, AND THERE 55:33 WERE TWO ADULTS UNDER THE GAME PUTTING THESE PUPPETS UP. 55:38 AND HE SAID SEE, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 55:41 AND EVERYBODY LAUGHED. BUT I THINK THAT SATAN IS LIKE 55:48 THOSE PUPPETS. THAT HE'LL POP THINGS UP, AND 55:51 GOD SAYS DON'T PLAY. GET OFF OF THE GRID, BECAUSE 55:55 WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT IS BEING ABLE TO SAY, I BELIEVE 55:59 THAT GOD CAN RESTORE -- >> AMEN. 56:02 >> -- BRING WATER TO THE WILDERNESS, CAN LITERALLY MAKE 56:06 NEW, AND I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO -- IF GOD WANTS ME TO LOOK AT 56:12 SOMETHING, I WILL LOOK AT IT, BUT IF THE DEVIL DOES IT -- HE 56:17 NEVER HAS A GOOD REASON TO DO IT. 56:19 IT'S TO TRIP YOU UP. >> BUT WHEN WE FORGET THE 56:23 GOODNESS AND GREATNESS OF GOD, I WANT TO READ NUMBER 14:27, THEY 56:29 ARE JUST CONSTANTLY COMPLAINING, GOD DOES ONE MIRACLE AFTER 56:34 ANOTHER MIRACLE, AND THEY ARE CONSTANTLY COMPLAINING. 56:38 OH, WOE IS US. AND THEN FINALLY THE LORD SAYS, 56:43 NUMBERS 14:27. HOW LONG SHALL I BEAR WITH THIS 56:48 EVIL CON GRI GAGS WHO COMPLAINS AGAINST ME. 56:51 I HAVE HEARD THE COMPLAINTS, SAY TO THEM -- HE IS TELLING MOW 56:57 CUSS, AS I LIVE SAYS THE LORD, JUST AS YOU HAVE SPOKEN IN MY 57:03 HEARING, SO I WILL DO TO YOU. SO I THINK THERE COMES A TIME 57:07 WHEN WE FORGET THE GREATNESS OF GOD. 57:11 IT'S ALMOST LIKE GOD SAYS IF YOU KEEP SPEAKING THIS NEGATIVE, IT 57:15 WILL BECOME A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY. 57:20 BECAUSE WE PUT A CHAIN ON HIS WRISTS, AND HE CAN'T WORK IN OUR 57:24 HEARTS ANYMORE. DO YOU AGREE? 57:27 SAY YES OR NO. >> OKAY. 57:29 WE'LL COME BACK TO THAT. >> ALL RIGHT. 57:33 >> WE WANT TO INVITE YOU TO STAY TUNED FOR THE SECOND HOUR. 57:39 WE'RE GOING TO BE TALKING MORE ABOUT THE CHANGING FACES OF 57:47 ADDICTION. STAY TUNED. 57:48 ♪ |
Revised 2018-05-05