Participants: Danny Shelton (Host), Yvonne Lewis (Host), Danielle Harrison, Michael Carducci, Ron Woolsey, Wayne Blakely
Series Code: TL
Program Code: TL017507A
|
00:05 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE, SPEND MY LIFE ♪
00:09 ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE. ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ 00:18 ♪ REMOVING PAIN ♪ ♪ LORD, LET ME WORDS ♪ 00:26 ♪ LET MY WORDS ♪ ♪ HEAL UP HEARTS THAT HURT ♪ 00:33 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE ♪ 00:46 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE ♪ 01:06 >> HELLO AND WELCOME TO 3ABN "TODAY LIVE." 01:09 MY NAME IS YVONNE LEWIS AND I AM WITH MY CO-HOSTS -- I CAN'T 01:14 BELIEVE HE IS CO-HOSTING. >> I'M THE CO-HOST, YES. 01:18 >> DANNY SHELTON, WHO IS OUR PRESIDENT AND FOUNDER. 01:21 >> WE HAVE SOME SPECIAL GUESTS TONIGHT. 01:23 THIS PROGRAM IS AN AMAZING PROGRAM. 01:25 WE WANT YOU TO CALL YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR ENEMIES, EVERYBODY 01:28 YOU CAN THINK OF -- [ LAUGHTER ] 01:29 >> AND SAY YOU NEED TO TUNE IN TO 3ABN TONIGHT, BECAUSE THIS IS 01:33 GOING TO BE, I PROMISE YOU, AN AMAZING PROGRAM. 01:36 I HAVE DONE THOUSANDS OF PROGRAMS, BUT THIS ONE IS 01:40 SPECIAL. AND YOU KNOW I DON'T SAY THAT 01:42 VERY OFTEN. SO WHY DON'T YOU INTRODUCE THE 01:45 GUESTS. AND WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO 01:48 WATCH A FILL THAT THEY MADE, WHICH IS INCREDIBLE. 01:54 BUT LET'S LET THEM GET TO KNOW THESE FOLKS. 01:59 >> AND WE SHOULD TELL YOU THAT 3ABN RECOGNIZES THE IMPORTANCE 02:02 OF SHARING THE TOOLS TO OVERCOME ALL TEMPTATION IN OUR LIFE IN 02:06 EVERY ARENA. SO THE CONTEND OF THIS PROGRAM 02:10 IS SENSITIVE, SO PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED. 02:13 WITH THAT BEING SAID, LET ME INTRODUCE THE MEMBERS OF COMING 02:19 OUT MINISTRIES, WE HAVE MICHAEL CARDUCCI, WAYNE BLAKELY, 02:29 DANIELLE HARRISON, AND PASTOR RON WOOLSEY. 02:34 >> I HAVE KNOWN RON FOR A LONG TIME, AND CLAUDIA, IF YOU ARE 02:39 WATCHING HELLO. [ LAUGHTER ] 02:41 >> NEXT TIME RON COMES HERE, YOU HAVE TO COME WITH HIM. 02:45 >> AMEN. >> FOR THOSE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW 02:47 ABOUT COMING OUT MINISTRIES, AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO BE WATCHING 02:50 A FILM THAT YOU ALL MADE, AND TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THAT, 02:54 SO WE'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE WATCHING. 02:57 >> GREAT. WELL, COMING OUT MINISTRIES IS 02:58 THE FOUR OF US INDIVIDUALS THAT HAVE COME TOGETHER THROUGH 03:03 DIVINE INTERVENTION, REALLY. WE'RE LOCATED ALL ACROSS THE 03:08 UNITED STATES. I'M IN TENNESSEE, WAYNE 03:12 WASHINGTON, DANIELLE GO -- GEORGIA, AND RON ARKANSAS. 03:21 BUT THIS REALLY SEEMS TO TELL THE FULLNESS OF JESUS CHRIST AND 03:26 HOW HE WORKS IN OUR LIVES. >> ALL RIGH. 03:29 RON, TELL US A LITTLE BIT. >> WELL, THE LAST-DAY MESSAGE 03:34 INVOLVES THE INVITATION, THE CALL COME OUT MY PEOPLE, SO I 03:41 THINK THAT'S A PART OF OUR MESSAGE IS TO GIVE THAT 03:44 INVITATION TO THE WORLD IS TO COME OUT OF SIN, THE ADDICTION 03:47 YOU ARE IN, COME OUT OF BABYLON. COME OUT OF CONFUSION. 03:51 AND WE'RE THRILLED TO PRESENT THE GOSPEL FROM OUR PERSPECTIVE 03:57 AND EXPERIENCE WHICH I CALL PRACTICAL THEOLOGY TO THE WORLD 04:03 AND HOPE WE CAN INSPIRE PEOPLE TO TRULY COME OUT OF THEIR 04:09 DARKNESS INTO GOD'S MARVELOUS LIGHT. 04:11 >> AMEN. >> WHAT ABOUT YOU DANIELLE, WHAT 04:14 DO YOU THINK ABOUT J"JOURNEY INTERRUPTED" WHICH IS THE NAME 04:20 OF THE FILM? >> I THINK IT MEETS HEAD ON A 04:24 CRISIS WE ARE FACING IN THE WORLD TODAY, THAT IS THIS 04:27 ELEMENT OF CONFUSION, WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUALITY AND GENDER, 04:31 AND WE WANTED TO MAKE OUR TESTIMONIES AVAILABLE, BECAUSE 04:34 GOD HAS GIVEN US SO MANY VICTORIES IN OUR LIVES. 04:38 HE HAS GIVEN US A CLEARER UNDERSTANDING OF HIS DESIRE, HIS 04:43 WILL FOR OUR SEXUALITY, AND FOR OUR MINISTRY, FOR HIM, AND SO 04:48 THAT WAS WHAT WE WANTED TO MAKE AVAILABLE THROUGH THIS FILM WAS 04:52 JUST THE STORIES OF WHAT GOD HAS REALLY DONE IN EACH OF OUR 04:58 LIVES, AND HOPEFULLY INSPIRE HOPE AND FAITH IN OTHER PEOPLE. 05:05 >> BEAUTIFULLY SAID. THANK YOU. 05:06 >> IT IS. AND THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS I 05:09 LOVE ABOUT THIS MINISTRY, THAT IS EVEN THOUGH YOU DEAL 05:13 PRIMARILY WITH SEXUALITY. WE ALL HAVE SIN IN OUR LIVES OF 05:18 SOME SORT, AND YOU GIVE THE TOOLS TO OVERCOME SIN, WHETHER 05:24 IT'S SEXUALITY OR WHATEVER, YOU GIVE THE TOOLS TO DEAL WITH 05:27 THAT, AND THAT'S WONDERFUL. AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO 05:30 PLAY A PART IN THIS EVENING TOO, BECAUSE WE HAVE QUESTIONS AND 05:35 ANSWERS. SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO 05:40 LIVE@3ABN.TV, OR -- YOU CAN EMAIL THEM, OR YOU MAY CALL, 05:46 618-627-4651. WE WILL BE ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR 05:48 QUESTIONS DURING THE SECOND HALF OF THE PROGRAM, SO THIS IS SO 05:52 EXCITING. I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS. 05:55 >> IT IS. ABSOLUTELY. 05:57 WAYNE GIVE US -- WE HAVE A MINUTE OR SO BEFORE WE GET INTO 06:01 IT. GIVE US YOUR PERSPECTIVE. 06:04 THIS WAS A BIG UNDERTAKING. SO I ASSUME YOU ALL ARE 06:12 MULTI-MILLIONAIRES AND YOU CAN DO WHATEVER. 06:14 >> RIGHT. RIGHT. 06:15 WE MADE A COUPLE OF ATTEMPTS IN THE PAST AT FILMING OUR 06:20 TESTIMONIES AND THEY DIDN'T PAN OUT, AND ONCE DAY I GOT A PHONE 06:23 CALL FROM ANN, WHO IS A BOARD MEMBER, AND SHE AND HER HUSBAND 06:27 BOTH SAID YOU GUYS -- YOU NEED A FILM TO SHARE WITH PEOPLE, WHAT 06:32 IS POSSIBLE THROUGH JESUS CHRIST, AND SHE KNEW A 06:38 FILMMAKER, DANNY WOODS, WHO IS THE AGAIN -- GENTLEMAN WHO 06:46 FILMED THIS. AND GOD JUST TOOK OVER AT THAT 06:49 POINT. >> I WANT TO SAY, THIS SUBJECT 06:51 THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT EVEN 20 YEARS AGO IN A CHURCH AS 06:55 CONSERVATIVE AS THE ADVENTIST CHURCH, I WOULD HAVE NEVER 06:59 THOUGHT WHAT IS HAPPENING, HAS HAPPENED TO FAST, AND PEOPLE'S 07:04 ATTITUDES ABOUT GENDER AND SEXUALITY AND THESE THINGS, AND 07:07 STILL -- I SIT HERE, AND IT TAKES A LOT, I'M AN OLD GUY, AND 07:12 IT TAKES A LOT TO SURPRISE ME AND SHOCK ME, BUT I HAVE LEARNED 07:16 SOME THINGS THAT IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE, BUT THIS IS A 07:20 MESSAGE THAT IS TRU. I LOVE THE COMING OUT -- YOU 07:23 SAID, AND THE LORD SAYS COE OUT OF HER MY PEOPLE, BABYLON HAS 07:28 FALLEN. AND BABYLON IS CONFUSION, SO 07:30 WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS HELPING THOSE OF US THAT -- IN THIS 07:34 PARTICULAR AREA. NOW WE ALL HAVE SIN. 07:37 I'M GLAD YOU SAID IT, BECAUSE NO ONE SHOULD BE JUDGING SOMEONE 07:40 ELSE. WE SEE PEOPLE. 07:41 AND I'M GUILTY. I DO IT ALL THE TIME, AND PEOPLE 07:45 JUDGE ME, AND I HAVE TO ASK GOD TO FORGIVE ME, SO WHAT WE'RE 07:51 GOING TO BE TALK ABOUT TONIGHT ARE NOT INDIVIDUALS -- GOD HATES 07:56 SIN, BUT HE LOVES THE SINNER. >> THAT'S RIGHT. 07:58 >> AND YOU KIND OF ALLUDED TO THAT. 08:02 SO THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF COMING OUT MINISTRIES IS NOT TO SAY 08:05 LOOK WHERE I AM, BUT IT'S TO SAY LOOK WHAT GOD CAN DO. 08:10 BECAUSE IT'S WHAT HE CAN DO -- WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR ME, 08:14 HE CAN DO FOR YOU. >> YES. 08:16 >> IT IS NO SECRET WHAT GOD CAN DO. 08:19 >> AMEN. >> AND SO I'M VERY THANKFUL THAT 08:22 YOU ALL ARE HERE, AND I HAVE BEEN EDUCATED A LOT, BUT YVONNE 08:26 HAS TALKED ABOUT YOU FOR QUITE A WHILE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE COME TO 08:30 DO A LOT WITH DARE TO DREAM, AND SHE CONSIDERS YOU ALL BROTHERS 08:33 AND SISTERS IN THE LORD, AND SO DO I. 08:39 SO YVONNE WITH YOUR PERMISSION, WE'LL GO TO THE FILM, AND THEN 08:44 WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS, AND THEN WE'LL TAKE QUESTIONS 08:48 AND ANSWERS THE SECOND HOUR. >> YES, IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY 08:52 GOOD. I'M EXCITED. 08:54 YAY! [ LAUGHTER ] 08:54 ♪ >> WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, I 09:01 NEVER FOUND ANYONE REALLY TALKING ABOUT THE GAY ISSUE. 09:04 IN FACT EVERY REFERENCE THAT WAS MADE ABOUT THE GAY ISSUE IN 09:08 THOSE DAYS WAS -- A SLUR. ♪ 09:14 >> I REMEMBER THINKING THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT 09:19 ABOUT ME, SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT, AND THE OTHER KIDS IN THE 09:22 NEIGHBORHOOD STARTED TO PICK UP ON IT TOO, SO THEY WOULD CALL 09:29 ME, SISSY, QUEER, FAGGOT, HOMO, AND YET I COULDN'T HELP WHAT I 09:36 WAS ATTRACTED TO. >> THERE'S SO MUCH CONFUSION 09:40 EVEN IN CHRISTIANITY ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY, BECAUSE FOR SO 09:44 LONG, NO ONE WANTED TO ADDRESS THE TOPIC. 09:48 ♪ >> THERE'S SOMETHING THAT I WAS 09:50 MISSING ALL THOSE YEARS IN MY STUDY AND IN MY STRUGGLE THAT I 09:55 CAME TO DISCOVER AS I STUDIED JESUS. 09:58 ♪->> I SHARE MY TESTIMONY TODAY, THERE'S MANY PEOPLE THAT COME 10:04 AND DENFY WITH THE FACT THAT, HEY, I'M NOT GAY, BUT YOU WERE 10:09 CERTAINLY TALKING TO ME. ♪ 10:26 ♪ 10:52 >> IN TELLING MY STORY, I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK IT'S ALL 10:56 DOOM AND GLOOM, AND A SAD STORY. THERE WERE MANY GOOD EXPERIENCES 11:00 IN MY LIFE. HOWEVER, THERE WERE THINGS THAT 11:05 HAPPENED IN MY EARLY CHILDHOOD THAT REALLY DERAILED ME. 11:08 >> WHEN I WAS BORN, MY DAD -- I'M SURE HAD GREAT PLANS 11:11 FOR ME. BEING HIS ONLY SON OF FOUR 11:15 CHILDREN, AND WHEN I CAME ALONG, MY DAD WAS SO PROUD THAT HE HAD 11:19 A SON THAT HE ACTUALLY NAMED ME JUNIOR. 11:23 SO I AM MICHAEL JAMES AFTER MY DAD. 11:26 IT'S INTERESTING BECAUSE EVEN TO THIS DAY, SOMETIMES I REALLY 11:29 REGRET MY NAME. >> MY NATURAL MOTHER'S RELATIVES 11:34 WERE AROUND HER WHILE SHE WAS CARRYING ME TO FULL TERM, AND 11:37 DURING THAT TIME, RELATIVES WOULD SAY, SO, JAN, ARE YOU 11:41 GOING TO HAVE A BOY OR A GIRL? AND SHE SAID WELL, THERE'S NO 11:46 WAY I'M HAVING A BOY. I'M ONLY GOING TO HAVE A GIRL. 11:50 THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT. THERE WAS NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE. 11:55 SHE WAS JUST PLAIN GOING TO HAVE A BABY GIRL. 11:58 SO MAY 6TH OF A CERTAIN YEAR -- [ LAUGHTER ] 12:03 >> -- I WAS BORN. A BABY BOY. 12:06 >> WHEN I WAS BORN, I CAME INTO A CHALLENGED FAMILY SITUATION. 12:11 MY SISTER AND BROTHER WERE ALREADY SIX AND EIGHT YEARS OLD. 12:15 MY PARENTS WERE STRUGGLES IN THEIR MARRIAGE, AND THEY REALLY 12:19 WEREN'T PLANNING ON HAVING ANYMORE CHILDREN. 12:22 >> AS A LITTLE GIRL, AFTER MY MOM INTRODUCED ME TO JESUS, I 12:27 WAS TOTALLY STOKED ABOUT IT. I MEMORIZED BOOKS OF THE BIBLE, 12:33 AND COULD FLIP THROUGH SCRIPTURE AND QUOTE OFF BIBLE VERSES TO 12:37 YOU WHEN I WAS LIKE, SIX. AND MY MOM WAS TRULY EXCITED. 12:42 AND SHE WAS LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO BECOME A MISSIONARY, AND 12:44 JESUS IS GOING TO WORK AMAZING THINGS THROUGH YOUR LIFE. 12:49 AND AREN'T YOU EXCITED? AND I WAS LIKE, I'M GOING TO BE 12:53 A MISSIONARY. >> I'M SURE MY DAD HAD EVERY 12:57 INTENTION OF PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH ME, AND DOING ALL OF THESE 13:00 MACHO THINGS THAT HE LIKED TO DO, AND EVERYTHING THAT MY DAD 13:04 LIKED, I HATED. I LIKED PLAYING WITH DOLLS. 13:08 I HAD THREE SISTERS, AND MY DAD WOULD BE GONE A LOT OF TIMES, SO 13:13 MOST OF THE TIME, I WOULD BE PLAYING WITH DOLLS OR DRESSING 13:17 UP IN MY SISTERS' CLOTHES OR MY MOM'S CLOTHES, AND I BEGAN 13:25 GENDER DISPHORIA AT AN EARLY AGE. 13:28 >> AS MY AUNT AND UNCLE ADOPTED ME, THEY BEGAN TO SEE THAT 13:32 THINGS WERE TAKING PLACE IN MY LIFE. 13:33 AT THE AGE OF THREE, I WAS RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE 13:37 SCREAMING I WANT TO BE A GIRL. I WAS PLAYING WITH SCARVES AND 13:42 DRESSES, AND I'M SURE THEY BEGAN TO THINK, WOW, WHAT DID WE GET -pOUR HANDS ON HERE? 13:49 PEOPLE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT SAME-SEX ATTRACTION THEN. 13:52 >> I KNEW THAT BECAUSE I WOULD GET PUNISHED IF I GOT CAUGHT 13:56 PLAYING DOLLS OR -- OR I WOULD BE TEASED OR RIDICULED BY MY 14:02 DAD, MAINLY IF I WAS PLAYING WITH MY SISTER'S BARBIES THAT I 14:07 KNEW SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT, AND YET, I COULDN'T HELP WHAT I WAS 14:11 ATTRACTED TO. AND I REMEMBER THINKING IF I WAS 14:15 A GIRL, I COULD DO IT BETTER THAN MY SISTERS. 14:18 >> I WENT TO SCHOOL AND THEY STARTED TEASING ME FROM THE VERY 14:21 FIRST DAY. I JUST SAW IT TO BE AMAZING TO 14:28 BE ABLE TO ENDURE THE TEASING AND THE HARASS THAT I GOT, EVEN 14:34 SOME OF MY TEACHERS, MOST NOTABLY, MY BIBLE TEACHER WOULD 14:44 ENCOURAGE AND LAUGH ALONG WITH THE GUYS WHO WERE TEASING ME. 14:48 I LOOKED TO TEACHERS FOR SHELTER. 14:52 FOR HOPE. PROTECTION. 14:55 I REMEMBER I WOULD GO HOME AND -- AND I WOULD GO INTO OUR 14:59 BATHROOM THAT HAD A DOOR ON EITHER SIDE, AND I WOULD LOCK 15:02 BOTH DOORS, AND I WAS LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND PUNCH MYSELF IN 15:06 THE FACE, AND I WOULD SCREAM AT GOD AND YELL AT HIM, AND SAY 15:11 WHY, GOD, WHY? WHY DID YOU CREATE A BOY WHEN I 15:14 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GIRL? >> I WAS ONLY FOUR YEARS OLD, 15:22 ONE OF SIX CHILDREN. WE LIVED IN THE COUNTRY. 15:25 MY PARENTS HAD MOVED TO THE COUNTRY. 15:28 THEY THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A SAFE PLACE TO RAISE THEIR 15:31 CHILDREN. AND MY DAD WAS A DAIRY FARMER, 15:34 AND SO WE LIVED ON THIS BIG FARM, AND IT WAS AT THAT TENDER 15:38 AGE OF FOUR THAT I WAS ACTUALLY SEXUALLY MOLESTED BY ONE OF THE 15:43 FARM HANDS, AND THAT REALLY CONFUSED ME. 15:47 >> SCHOOL WAS TOUGH, AND EXTENDED FAMILY, WE HAD A ROUGH 15:52 RELATIONSHIP WITH EXTENDED FAMILY, AND THEY GOT MORE 15:57 STRESSFUL WHEN MY OLDER COUSIN STARTED MOLEST AND RAPING ME, 16:03 BUT I DIDN'T TRUST ANYBODY, BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T 16:06 TELL ANYBODY, SO WE CONTINUED TO HAVE VACATIONS WITH THEM, AND GO 16:11 PLACES WITH THEM, AND HE LIVED AT OUR HOUSE FOR A WHILE, AND 16:15 NOBODY KNEW. IT WAS FROM THE TIME THAT I WAS 16:18 7 UNTIL I WAS 13, AND IT WAS EVERY TIME I SAW HIM. 16:22 SO MULTIPLE TIMES A YEAR. AND I THOUGHT I WOULD GET IN 16:25 TROUBLE IF I TOLD SOMEBODY, BECAUSE HE ALWAYS SAID IF YOU 16:28 TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS, YOU'LL BREAK THE FAMILY UP. 16:31 >> THERE WA A GIRL LIVING DOWN THE STREET. 16:34 SHE WAS THE SAME AGE AS ME, SEVEN. 16:37 SHE INTRODUCED ME TO SEXUAL EXPERIENCE, SO WE STARTED 16:42 EXPERIMENTING WITH EACH OTHER PHYSICALLY, AND IT BECAME AN 16:45 ADDICTION FOR ME VERY QUICKLY. ONE DAY FOR SOME REASON I ENDED 16:50 UP CON FIEZ -- CONFIDING WITH AN OLDER KID IN ANY NEIGHBORHOOD. 16:57 AND HE ENDED UP TELLING MY SISTER, AND MY SISTER TOLD MY 17:01 MOM. INSTEAD OF MY MOM USING IT AS AN 17:04 OCCASION TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO ME ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF 17:07 SEXUAL PURITY -- MAYBE SHE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO REACT TO IT, 17:12 BUT FOR SOME REASON HER AND MY SISTER USED IT AS AN OCCASION TO 17:18 POKE FUN OF ME, I THOUGHT REALLY THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN'T TALK 17:24 TO ANYONE ABOUT. >> MY DAD WAS SCARY. 17:28 WHEN HE WAS HOME HE WOULD BE LOUD. 17:31 HIS DISCIPLINE WAS ABUSIVE. HE WAS IN THE NAVY, AND HE WOULD 17:39 BE GONE TWO TO SIX MONTHS A TIME. 17:42 I WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. 17:45 IF THAT WAS MY GENDER, NO THANK YOU. 17:48 >> I THINK EVERY CHILD WANTS TO KNOW THAT THEY WERE PLANNED FOR; 17:52 THAT THEY WERE WANTED. MY MOTHER WAS DISTRAUGHT, 17:59 ANGERED, FULL OF GRIEF. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HOLD ME. 18:03 FROM THE TIME I WAS MOLESTED, FROM THAT DAY FORWARD, MY MIND 18:09 WAS CONFUSED. I HAD WILD IMAGINATIONS. 18:13 MY THOUGHTS WERE OUT OF CONTROL, AND MY IMAGINATIONS AND 18:18 FANTASIES WERE TOWARDS THE SAME TYPE OF PERSON THAT HAD MOLESTED 18:23 ME, WHICH WAS A MAN, BECAUSE THAT WAS MY INTRODUCTION TO 18:28 SEXUAL BEHAVIOR. I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE. 18:32 >> AS A SMALL CHILD, MY PARENTS HAD BEEN VERY GOOD AT INFORMING 18:39 US OF WHAT WAS RIGHT AND WRONG, AND SO FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE, MY 18:43 PARENTS BOTH TOLD ME IF ANYBODY EVER TOUCHES YOU 18:46 INAPPROPRIATELY, YOU TELL US, BUT WHEN IT STARTED HAPPENING, 18:50 AT FIRST I WAS SO YOUNG THAT I DIDN'T REALLY RECOGNIZE WHAT WAS 18:53 GOING ON, AND AS I GOT OLDER, IT WAS MORE GUILT THAT I HADN'T 19:01 TOLD THEM WHEN IT FIRST HAPPENED. 19:03 IT WAS MY FAULT, AND SO EVEN AFTER TELLING SOMEBODY, THERE 19:07 WASN'T REALLY LIKE CLOSURE TO IT. 19:11 THERE WASN'T ANY UNDERSTANDING, WE'RE SORRY. 19:14 WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP YOU? IT WAS WE FAILED AS PARENTS. 19:18 >> I DID KNOW AS A CHILD THAT THIS WAS WRONG, WHAT HAD 19:22 HAPPENED, BUT AS A VICTIM, I DID NOT WANT TO REVEAL WHAT HAD 19:27 HAPPENED, AND I FELT DIRTY. I FELT -- WELL, I HAD BEEN -- I 19:32 HAD BEEN TAINTED, AND I FELT VERY DIFFERENT FROM THAT DAY 19:38 FORWARD. >> NO ONE EVER MOLESTED ME. 19:40 I WAS NEVER -- I WAS NEVER BEATEN TO A PULP OR -- OR THAT 19:45 KIND OF THING, BUT THERE WERE MANY AREAS OF NEGLECT. 19:48 I WAS IN SEVENTH GRADE, SO I WAS ABOUT 13, AND WE WERE RUNNING 19:52 HOME, AND I TRIPPED AND FELL AND BROKE MY ARM. 19:56 SO WHEN MY MOM CAME HOME THAT NIGHT I WAS LAYING ON THE SOFA, 20:01 AND SHE SAID YOU WILL BE ALL RIGHT. 20:02 IT IS PROBABLY NOT BROKEN. SO MY MOTHER WENT OUT. 20:06 SHE HAD A DATE. LEFT ME ON THE SOFA, AND CAME 20:09 BACK SUNDAY, AND I WAS STILL ON THE SOFA. 20:13 I DON'T BLAME MY MOM. I REALLY -- I'M NOT EVEN ANGRY 20:17 AT HER ANYMORE. BUT I BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE OF 20:20 HER BROKENNESS, THERE WAS A LIMIT TO WHAT SHE WAS ABLE TO 20:23 GIVE ME. >> AT THE AGE OF 13, I WOULD 20:26 READ MY BIBLE, AND I BEGAN TO READ TEXTS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY, 20:31 AND THE DESCRIPTIONS ABOUT MEN WITH MEN, AND BY THIS 20:36 TIME -- WELL THERE WAS HARDLY A DAY THAT I DIDN'T KNOW SAME-SEX 20:44 ATTRACTION, BUT I FOUND OUT ACCORDING TO THE WORD OF GOD 20:47 THIS WASN'T ACCORDING TO HIS PLAN. 20:50 AND I THOUGHT, WOW, HOW CAN THAT BE? 20:53 I DIDN'T ASK TOBE LIKE THIS. >> I REMEMBER THIS ROOMMATE, WE 20:57 WOULD WRESTLE, AND ONE NIGHT THIS WRESTLING TURNED SEXUAL. 21:01 I DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT HAD HAPPENED THAT DAY. 21:03 I DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT GOT THAT FAR OR WENT THAT FAR, AND THE 21:07 MOMENT IT WAS OVER, LIKE ALL OF THIS GUILT CAME IN AND 21:13 CONDEMNATION AND -- AND THIS SHOCK THAT I NOW WAS THE REALITY 21:17 OF WHAT ALL OF THOSE BOYS SAID FOR ALL OF THOSE YEARS THAT I 21:21 WAS A SISSY, A FAGGOT, A HOMO, GAY. 21:26 >> GROWING UP WITH THESE ATTRACTIONS TOWARDS MEN INSTEAD 21:32 OF GIRLS, I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM. 21:37 I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I COULD TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT. 21:40 I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND MYSELF, AND YET I FELT ASHAMED TO SHARE WHAT 21:46 I WAS FEELING WITH ANYONE ELSE. >> I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY 21:53 PERSON IN THE WORLD THAT HAD THESE FEELINGS, I THINK A LOT OF 21:56 I GOES AND GIRLS TOO MY AGE AT THAT PARTICULAR TIME, THOUGHT 22:00 THEY WERE THE ONLY ONES IN THE WORLD THAT HAD THESE THINGS 22:03 GOING ON, BECAUSE WE DIDN'T DARE TALK ABOUT THEM. 22:06 >> I JUST GREW UP WITH THAT EMOTIONAL CONFUSION, AND IT 22:10 FESTERED, JUST LIKE -- LIKE A SPLINTER IN THE THUMB. 22:13 IT WILL HAVE TO COME OUT SOONER OR LATER, AND EVENTUALLY THAT'S 22:17 WHAT HAPPENED, BUT THAT WAS MANY YEARS LATER. 22:19 ♪ >> I MET A GUY WHO INTRODUCED 22:25 HIMSELF TO ME AND -- AND THE DEPTH -- IDENTIFIED ME AS BEING 22:31 GAY. AND I SAID WHAT DID YOU SAY I 22:32 WAS? HE SAID YOU ARE GAY. 22:34 AND I SAID WHAT IS THAT? IT WAS AT THE TIME WHEN THE TERM 22:38 GAY WAS ACTUALLY BEING DEVELOPED. 22:43 AND HE SAID, YOU LIKE GUYS, DON'T YOU? 22:48 YOU ARE GAY. I'M GAY. 22:49 I GO TO COLLEGE WITH OTHER GUYS WHO ARE GAY, AND THE CHURCH HAS 22:53 DONE A GOOD JOB AT TELLING US THAT HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR IS 22:58 SINFUL. AND THAT'S THE END OF THE 23:02 CONVERSATION. I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY. 23:05 >> AS I WAS A VERY ACTIVE MEMBER IN THE CHURCH GROWING UP, I 23:09 NOTICED THERE WAS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE GAY ISSUE, AND SO MY 23:13 FIRST INTRODUCTION TO THE GAY ISSUE THROUGH PUBLICATION 23:17 HAPPENED TO COME THROUGH A TIME MAGAZINE WHEN I WAS SITTING IN A 23:22 COLLEGE LIBRARY, WHERE I WAS STUDYING THEOLOGY, AND WHEN I 23:26 SAW THAT MAGAZINE, AND I SAW THAT THIS WAS A COVER STORY, I 23:30 WAS FASCINATED BY THE -- THE PHOTOGRAPH ON THE COVER OF THAT 23:35 MAGAZINE, BECAUSE UP TO THAT POINT, I FELT TOTALLY ALONE IN 23:40 MY MENTAL STRUGGLE, AND IN MY CONFUSION. 23:43 I DIDN'T KNOW A LIVING SOUL WHO WAS GAY. 23:46 >> I CAN REMEMBER MY PARENTS, YOU KNOW, SAYING SOMETHING -- OR 23:49 OTHER PEOPLE WOULD ALSO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT, YOU KNOW, WELL, 23:52 PEOPLE LIKE THAT, OR -- AND I KNEW THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT 23:55 SOMEONE THAT WAS DEALING WITH A HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCY OR 24:00 TEMPTATION, BUT NOBODY WOULD GO FURTHER. 24:03 I WOULD BE ALL EARS, BUT NO ONE WOULD SAY ANYTHING. 24:06 >> I THOUGHT I WAS JUST BORN BISEXUAL. 24:10 THAT I WAS BORN GAY. IN THAT THAT ATTRACTION HAD 24:13 ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME, SO I THOUGHT I CAN'T -- I THOUGHT I 24:17 COULDN'T BE A CHRISTIAN, AND -- AND IT PUSHED ME AWAY 24:21 FROM GOD. IF I'M A LESBIAN, YOU KNOW, 24:23 THAT'S SIN, AND SIN EQUALS DEATH, SO WHY WOULD I JOIN A 24:28 RELIGION THAT TELLS ME I'M JUST GOING TO DIE FOR BEING WHO I AM. 24:31 >> FINALLY CAME OUT TO MY PARENTS, AND THEY KICKED ME OUT 24:35 OF THE HOUE FOR A WEEK, AND THEN MY PARENTS CALLED ME AND 24:41 SAID WHERE ARE YOU IN AND I SAID CAN I COME BACK HOME? 24:46 DO I NEED TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO STAY? 24:50 AND THEY SAID NO, COME HOME. AND MY MOM STARTED CRYING AND 24:55 BEG BEGGING, AND BRINGING BIBLE 24:58 VERSES UP. AND SHE WAS LIKE YOU ARE NOT 25:02 GOING TO BE IN HEAVEN IF THIS IS WHAT YOU DO. 25:05 >> I HAD TO BE GOOD, SO I GOT A GIRLFRIEND. 25:08 AND I PRAYED FOR GOD TO MAKE ME STRAIGHT. 25:11 I DIDN'T WANT THIS. I WANTED TO BE MARRIED AND HAVE 25:14 A FAMILY AND A WIFE. >> ENDED UP BEING DRAFTED INTO 25:19 THE MILITARY, AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, AGAIN, I WAS MESSED WITH 25:22 WHEN I WAS IN THE MILITARY, AND HAD NO IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH 25:27 THAT AS WELL, BUT STILL MAINTAINING MY SPIRITUALITY. 25:31 I WAS A CHRISTIAN, I WANTED TO BE A CHRISTIAN, AND I WANTED TO 25:36 BE RIGHT WITH GOD. I THOUGHT IF I WERE JUST 25:39 MARRIED, IT WOULD TAKE CARE OF THE WHOLE THING. 25:42 AND YET MARRIAGE WORKED FOR A WHILE, AND THEN I REALIZED THAT 25:45 I HAD MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, AND THIS WOMAN, WHO LOVED ME 25:50 VERY MUCH, I REALIZED, I WAS -- I WAS GOING TO BE A BIG 25:55 DISAPPOINTMENT TO HER. SO I PRAYED, AND I SAID, I DON'T 25:58 WANT TO LIVE, LORD. IF I HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS, I 26:01 DON'T WANT TO LIVE, AND I PRAYED AND I SAID LORD, IF THIS IS THE 26:06 CLOSEST WE'RE GOING TO BE, I SAID TAKE ME NOW. 26:09 I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH WHAT IS COMING. 26:13 BUT GOD DIDN'T TAKE MY LIFE, AND I REMEMBER THE RESENTMENT THAT 26:18 CAME FEELING THAT GOD MUST BE LIKE MY DAD. 26:22 BECAUSE HE CALLS HIMSELF FATHER, AND I HAVE AT FAER, SO IF HE 26:26 DOESN'T HEAR OR ANSWER MY PRAYER, THEN BASICALLY HE MUST 26:30 BE LIKE MY DAD, INDIFFERENT, JUDGMENTAL ARBITRARY. 26:35 TODAY HE CARES AND TOMOROW HE DOESN'T, AND SO I DETERMINE 26:38 THAT -- THAT EITHER I WASN'T WORTHY OF HIS TIME, OR MAYBE HE 26:44 JUST DIDN'T CARE. >> AFTER I STARTED GETTING 26:47 ABUSED, IT TURNED FROM BEING TOTALLY STOKED ABOUT JESUS TO 26:52 WHY ISN'T JESUS HERE? WHY ISN'T HE STOPPING THIS? 26:57 I'M CRYING IN MY BED AT NIGHT, AND JESUS -- I CAN'T HEAR HIM 27:03 ANYMORE. LIKE WHERE DID HE GO IN AND I 27:05 THOUGHT IN MY LITTLE MIND, I HAD MADE JESUS MAD. 27:09 LIKE IS THIS A DIFFERENT GOD THAN I WAS ACQUAINTED WITH WHEN 27:14 I WAS LITTLE? LIKE, IT'S NOT AS SIMPLE AS 27:18 BUTTERFLIES ANYMORE. IT'S TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN. 27:21 THERE ARE TERRIBLE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. 27:24 AND IT'S STILL A STRUGGLE TO KNOW WHY HE WOULD LET THOSE 27:29 THINGS HAPPEN TO LIKE LITTLE SEVEN YEAR OLD KIDS. 27:32 >> I THOUGHT I NEEDED TO BE HONEST WITH MY WIFE, AND I TOLD 27:37 HER. OF COURSE SHE WAS DEVASTATED, 27:39 JUST BROKE HER HEART. AND WE HAD THESE TWO CHILDREN, 27:44 VERY YOUNG CHILDREN, AND -- BUT TO HER CREDIT, MY WIFE LOVED ME. 27:48 SHE WAS A CHRISTIAN. SHE WAS WILLING TO FORGIVE. 27:52 SHE WAS WILLING TO WORK THROUGH IT. 27:55 AND SHE WANTED TO STAY WITH ME. SHE WANTED TO GO THROUGH 28:01 COUNSELING AND SEE IF WE COULDN'T MAKE THIS WORK. 28:03 BUT WHEN PASTORS -- WE'RE TALKING ABOUT CHURCH 28:06 PEOPLE -- CHRISTIANS WOULD COUNSEL MY WIFE TO DIVORCE THIS 28:13 MAN AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE, THAT KIND CAN NEVER CHANGE, THAT 28:18 REALLY HURT ME AND ANGERED ME. TO HEAR IT COMING FROM 28:22 PROFESSIONALS WHO SHOULD HAVE ANSWERS, IT REALLY IMBITTERED ME 28:27 AGAINST THE CHURCH AND AGAINST GOD HIMSELF. 28:29 >> IN THE BIBLE WHERE IT TALKED ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY BEING AN 28:35 ABOMINATION. AND I THOUGHT THAT'S NOT FAIR. 28:37 I DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS THING. I DIDN'T WANT THIS THING, AND AS 28:41 HARD AS I FOUGHT TO NOT BE THSE THINGS, AND I PRAYED AND I ASKED 28:45 YOU TO CHANGE ME, YOU NEVER DID, AND SO THS IS WHO I AM. 28:49 TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. AND EVENTUALLY I JUST GAVE UP. 28:53 I FINALLY STOPPED FIGHTING MY INCLINATIONS. 28:57 I STOPPED PRAYING ABOUT IT. ALL OF THOSE YEARS I PRAYED, THE 29:02 LORD COULD JUST TAKE THS AWAY. HE DIDN'T JUST TAKE IT AWAY. 29:06 I FELT BECAUSE I CONTINUED HAVING THESE STRONG DESIRES, AND 29:10 THESE -- THESE UNCONTROLLABLE THOUGHTS THAT THAT'S JUST WH I 29:14 WAS, AND I FINALLY DECIDED TO JUST ACCEPT WHO I WAS AND GIVE 29:19 UP. AND I BROUGHT MY MARRIAGE TO A 29:23 DEVASTATING END. I FELL HEADLONG INTO THE GAY 29:27 LIFE, AND THEN FOR ME THERE WAS NO TURNING BACK. 29:29 I DID NOT WANT TO BE GAY. I FELT I HAD NO CHOICE. 29:34 I WAS JUST ACCEPTING WHO I WAS AND I NEEDED TO GET OVER IT, AND 29:39 SO DID EVERYONE ELSE, BECAUSE I HAD NO ANSWERS. 29:42 >> WHAT HAPPENS TO THE THINGS THAT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT -- WHAT 29:47 ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY, YOU KNOW? WHAT ABOUT OVEREATING? 29:51 WHAT ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS THAT SATAN HAS LAID OUT IN FRONT OF 29:55 US, AND HE HAS SOMETHING FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US. 29:58 AND WHEN YOU STOP AS THINK ABOUT IT, AS LONG AS HE HAS DERECEIVED 30:04 YOU WITH YOUR FEELINGS, YOU ARE DRAWN TO IT, AND SO I BELIEVED 30:10 MY FRIEND. I BELIEVED THAT I WAS GAY, AND 30:13 THAT IT DIDN'T MATCH UP WITH GOD'S WORD, AND I WAS LIKE, OH, 30:17 WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT. 30:19 SO I WAS DONE -- I WAS DONE WITH CHRISTIANITY, I WAS DONE WITH 30:24 GOD, AND I OPENLY EMBRACED THE GAY COMMUNITY. 30:28 AND THEY OPENLY EMBRACED ME. >> ONE DAY MY -- MY FATHER SAT 30:33 ME DOWN AND HE SAID DANIELLE, IF THERE ARE WAYS IN WHICH YOU ARE 30:38 DIFFERENT FROM MOST EVERYONE ELSE, IT'S OKAY, AND IF YOU CAN 30:43 YOU KNOW -- IF -- IT'S OKAY TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL, AND NO MATTER 30:47 WHO YOU ARE, I'M STILL GOING TO LOVE YOU. 30:50 AND HE DIDN'T COME OUT AND SAY DANIELLE, IT'S OKAY IF YOU ARE 30:54 GAY, BUT WE BOTH KNEW THAT THAT'S WHAT HE WAS GETTING AT. 30:58 SO I THOUGHT, WOW. OKAY. 31:00 I'M NOT GOING TO HOLD BACK ANYMORE. 31:03 NOT JUST SEXUALLY, BUT EXPRESSIVELY, IN -- IN ALL OF MY 31:08 LIFE. >> MY SISTER MOVED DOWN FROM 31:11 OHIO, AND SHE WAS LIVING WIT ME, AND I REMEMBER TELLING HER 31:14 THAT I WAS GAY. SHE HAD NO IDEA. 31:17 I WAS MYSTIFIED THAT THROUGH ALL OF THE YEARS OF PLAYING WITH 31:20 DOLLS, AND CROSS-DRESSING THAT IT NEVER OCCURRED TO HER THAT I 31:24 MIGHT BE GAY, AND SHE WAS PROFOUNDLY SHOCKED. 31:28 SHE WAS SO KIND. >> AS A SMALL CHILD, I WAS VERY 31:31 CLOSE TO MY MOTHER. SHE WAS WHAT I THOUGHT EVERY MOM 31:35 NEEDED TO BE. AS I STARTED GETTING OLDER, AND 31:42 STARTED CLOSING OFF TO PEOPLE, I JUST PUSHED EVERYBODY ASIDE, 31:46 INCLUDING MY MOM, EVEN THOUGH I REALLY HAD NO REASON TO. 31:49 I JUST FELT LIKE NOBODY ELSE HAS BEEN THERE, WHY WOULD SHE? 31:55 ♪ 32:01 >> I DECIDED TO ACTUALLY GIVE CHRISTIANITY A CHANCE. 32:05 I WOULD START READING INTO IT, AND, YOU KNOW, READING THE BIBLE 32:10 AND ACTUALLY GOING TO CHURCH WHEN THERE WAS SOMEONE THERE 32:13 THAT I TRUSTED. I WAS TRYING TO BALANCE GOING MY 32:20 OWN WAY WITH, ALSO, TRYING TO KEEP GOD IN THE PICTURE SOMEHOW, 32:24 BUT EVENTUALLY, I STARTED SAYING, I CAN'T DO THIS. 32:28 I CAN'T BE A CHRISTIAN. THIS MUST BE WHY I'M SO 32:32 DEPRESSED, BECAUSE THE BIBLE TELLS ME TO BE THIS PERSON, AND 32:35 LIVE THIS WAY, BUT I CAN'T. I TRY AND I FAIL, AND I CAN'T. 32:39 AND THAT'S WHY I'M SO DEPRESSED. AND I WANTED TO BE A GOOD PERSON 32:43 AND MAKE GOOD DECISIONS, BUT I ALWAYS MADE THE WRONG DECISIONS, 32:47 AND I WASN'T A GOOD PERSON. I WASN'T A GOOD FRIEND. 32:50 SO I WAS ENTERING INTO THIS STRUGGLE, WHO I AM? 32:54 WHO AM I INSIDE? SO I STARTED REALLY BECOMING 32:58 MORE AND MORE EXTRAVAGANT WITH MY DRESS AND MY MAKEUP. 33:02 IF I WOULD WALK DOWN THE STREET AND A LITTLE CHILD WOULD LOOK AT 33:05 ME AND LOOK SCARED, I THUGHT I LOOK GOOD TODAY. 33:09 >> IN A WAY, WHEN I WENT INTO THE GAY LIFE, I FELT GREAT 33:14 RELIEF, BECAUSE I WAS NO LONGER FIGHTING THIS THING, AND I KNEW 33:20 BIBLICALLY THAT THIS LIFE WAS WRONG. 33:21 I WAS VERY WELL AWARE OF ALL OF THE BIBLE TEXTS. 33:25 I JUST GAVE UP. AND SO FOR NEARLY 40 YEARS, I 33:31 WAS IMMERSED IN -- IN THE GAY CULTURE. 33:35 I TOLD MY PARENTS, AND I TOLD EVERYBODY ELSE, I'M GAY THERE IS 33:39 NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. I HAVE COME OUT. 33:41 I EDED UP IN A VERY PROMISCUOUS LIFE. 33:45 I KNOW THAT THERE ARE MANY TODAY OUT THERE THAT -- THAT DON'T, 33:49 AND MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE MAYBE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH ONE PERSON, 33:54 AND MAYBE THAT'S BEEN SOMEONE THEY HAVE BEEN WITH FOR 25 OR 30 33:58 YEARS, FROM ALL OF THE RELATIONSHIPS I KNW OF THAT 34:02 HAVE BEEN LIKE THAT, THEY WOULD SOMETIMES CLAIM TO BE 34:08 MONOGAMOUS, BUT I WAS SLEEPING WITH THEIR BOYFRIENDS. 34:11 >> I WOULD USE THE GYMS AS PROBABLY THE SOMEBODY ONE SPOT 34:15 WHERE I WOULD PICK UP MEN. WHERE I WAS ACTUALLY ACTING OUT 34:20 AS MANY AS THREE TIMES IN A DAY WITH PEOPLE. 34:23 AND AS MANY AS THREE OR FOUR TIMES A WEEK. 34:27 20 YEARS OF THAT. >> WELL, YOU KNOW, THIS WENT ON 34:33 FOR -- FOR YEARS, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN -- I MEAN, YOU KNOW, AT 34:38 FULL SPEED TOWARDS ME WAS KILLER SEX. 34:42 AIDS. AND SUDDENLY, MY CLOSEST FRIENDS 34:48 BEGAN TO START DIEING. ♪ 34:51 >> AND I WAS ONLY 30 YEARS OLD WHEN THIS BEGAN, AND I REMEMBER 34:56 CALLING MY PARENTS AND SAYING WHAT IS GOING ON? 34:59 WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? YOU ARE IN YOUR 50S, AND YOU 35:04 DON'T HAVE ANYBODY WHO HAS DIED YET. 35:07 WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? >> I WATCHED MY FRIENDS DROP 35:10 LIKE FLIES. I HAD UNPROTECTED SEX WITH MEN 35:14 AND THEY WOULD BE DEAD THREE MONTHS LATER. 35:17 AND YET I COULD NOT STOP. MY ADDICTIVE DRIVE JUST KEPT ME 35:21 MOVING MORE AND MORE AND MORE, AND NO MATTER HOW OFTEN I WOULD 35:25 FEEL AFTERWARDS, IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO STOP ME. 35:27 >> I'M NOT SHARING THIS TODAY TO SAY THAT THIS IS WHAT EVERY GAY 35:33 LIFE IS LIKE. I MEAN THERE ARE SO MANY 35:35 DIFFERENT WAYS -- HETEROSEXUALS ARE MESSED UP, WE'RE ALL MESSED 35:41 UP IF WE'E NOT LOOKING TO THE ONE WHO CAN BRING ABOUT THE 35:44 HEALING THAT WE NEED NO MATTER WHAT OUR MESS-UP IS. 35:47 I WANTED TO BE LOVED. I THOUGHT THAT THAT MATTER. 35:51 >> I MET A GREAT GUY. BIG ARMS. 35:55 BIG BLUE EYES. HE WAS A MILLIONAIRE. 35:57 HE DROVE A CONVERTIBLE MERCEDES. HAD A BIG HOUSE WITH A POOL. 36:02 I REMEMBER THINKING, WOW, I HIT PAY DIRT. 36:05 I HAVE ARRIVED. ANYTHING WE WANTED. 36:10 AND I REMEMBER THINKING TO MYSELF, IS THIS THE BEST IT IS 36:14 GOING TO BE? I REMEMBER LAYING WITH MY 36:15 BOYFRIEND ON THE WITHINS, AND HAVING THE POOL IN FRONT OF US, 36:19 AND THINKING TO MYSELF, I HAVE EVERYTHING THAT THE WORLD SAYS 36:22 IS VALUABLE, AND YET IS THAT IT? >> I THOUGHT THAT I WAS 36:27 EXPERIENCING A GREAT LEVEL OF FREEDOM, AND -- IN DOING WHAT I 36:32 WAS DOING, LIVING THE WAY THAT I WAS LIVING. 36:34 GOING OFF AND LIVING ON MY OWN, MAKING MY OWN CHOICES, AND I 36:39 ALWAYS HAD THIS DRIVE FOR SOMETHING MORE. 36:42 SOMETHING MORE EXPEOPLE, SOMETHING MORE FULFILLING, AND I 36:46 NEVER FELT LIKE I REACHED THAT PLACE OF CONTENTMENT. 36:49 >> IF I'M SEEKING FREEDOM FROM GOD'S LAW, BECAUSE -- OF COURSE 36:54 IT'S ALL OF THOSE THOU SHALT NOT, THOU SHALT NOT, AND BY 37:00 GIVING UP, AND GOING INTO THE WORLD, I WAS NOW FREE FROM THAT 37:05 LAW, AND YET THE BIBLE SAYS THE LAW OF GOD IS THE LAW OF 37:10 LIBERTY, SO IF I AM FREE FROM LIBERTY, WHAT IS MY REAL 37:13 SITUATION? ♪ 37:17 >> I HAD TWO SISTERS THAT WERE PRAYING FOR ME. 37:20 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG. I HAD A SISTER THAT WAS VERY 37:24 RELIGIOUS IN COLORADO, AND I HAD ANOTHER SISTER THAT WAS IN 37:28 FLORIDA, WHO WAS WORKING SIDE BY SIDE WITH ME IN -- IN MY SALON, 37:34 AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS INVITE MY LOVERS AND ME OVER TO HOLIDAY 37:39 MEALS. SHE NEVER KEPT ME FROM HOLDING 37:42 MY NEPHEW WHEN HE WAS A BABY. AND I KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT 37:46 SHE LOVED ME. BUT THEY WERE PRAYING FOR ME. 37:48 >> AND I THINK PRAYER IS A BIG PART OF THE ASPECT TO. 37:52 WE NEED TO PRAY FOR PEOPLE MORE THAN SHAKING OUR FINGER AT THEM, 37:58 AND THAT'S WHAT CHRIST DID. HE MINGLED WITH THE PEOPLE. 38:01 HE ADDRESSED THEIR NEEDS. HE WON THEIR CONFIDENCE, AND 38:05 THEN HE BID THEM FOLLOW ME. >> AND YET JESUS HAS BEEN ALL 38:09 ALONG TRYING TO SAY TO ME FROM DAY ONE, IS THAT WAYNE, YOU 38:14 MATTER, YOU BELONG, AND YOU ARE LOVED. 38:16 I COULDN'T SEE IT, AND I WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT. 38:19 I WOULDN'T STOP LONG ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO HIM. 38:22 I COULDN'T HEAR HIM BECAUSE I WAS DROWNING MYSELF WITH MY OWN 38:27 VOICE, SO HE WAS LIKE, ALL RIGHT, WAYNE, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT 38:30 TO DO THAT, BUT I'M TRYING TO REACH YOU, AND GUESS WHAT, THERE 38:34 ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU, AND THEY ARE ACTUALLY 38:37 PRAYING FOR YOU.->> AS I WAS SPENDING ALL OF THOSE YEARS IN THE GAY LIFE, 38:42 BLAMING GOD FOR EVERYTHING WRONG IN MY LIFE, GIVING HIM NO CREDIT 38:45 FOR ANYTHING GOOD, I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT MY PARENTS AND MY 38:51 FAMILY, AND SOME OF MY FORMER FRIENDS WERE PRAYING FOR ME. 38:54 THE WAY THE LORD ANSWERS THOSE PRAYERS, MANY TIMES, IS THAT HE 39:00 WILL LET A PERSON FALL SO LOW, AND -- AND REACH BOTTOM TO THE 39:05 POINT THAT THE ONLY WAY HE CAN LOOK IS UP. 39:08 >> IT TOOK A LONG TIME AFTER THINGS STOPPING [ INAUDIBLE ] 39:15 STOPPING TO COME TO TERMS THAT MAYBE SHE WAS STILL THAT MOM 39:20 THAT SHE WAS WHEN I WAS LITTLE; THAT MAYBE NOTHING CHANGED IN 39:26 HER; THAT JUST MAYBE I HAD CHANGED. 39:29 FINALLY ONE DAY I BROKE DOWN, AND SHE CAME IN AND SHE JUST 39:32 HUGGED ME, AND SHE SAID, CAN I PLEASE HELP YOU? 39:36 AND I SAID CAN YOU PLEASE PRAY WITH ME? 39:38 LIKE I NEED -- I NEED YOU TO HELP. 39:42 AND SHE SAID, YEAH. AND SHE JUST WRAPPED HER ARMS 39:49 AROUND ME AND STRTED PRAYING WITH ME, AND SHE SAID JESUS YOU 39:54 KNOW WHERE ANN IS, AND I REALLY DON'T, BUT SHE NEEDS YOU TO HELP 39:58 HER, BECAUSE I CAN'T. AND SHE JUST HELD ME AND I JUST 40:03 CRIED. AND SHE CRIED. 40:10 AND I STILL DIDN'T TRUST HER FULLY, BUT I KNEW I NEEDED 40:14 SOMEBODY TO PRAY, SHE STILL HAD MY BACK. 40:17 >> I STARTED TO -- TO DESIRE TO LEARN WHO AND WHAT GOD IS, AND 40:23 WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON BEHIND THE SCENES, BEHIND THE CLOUDS 40:26 KIND OF A THING, YOU KNOW? WHAT THE MARINING OF LIFE REALLY 40:30 WAS, AND SO I STARTED LOOKING INTO DIFFERENT RELIGIONS OF THE 40:34 WORLD, AND READING INTO -- ESPECIALLY INTO WI 40:39 WICC WICCANISM, BECAUSE I COULD 40:44 RELATE TO WOMEN BETTER, SO I PICTURED GOD AS A WOMAN MORE 40:52 EASILY. AND MY SISTER COULD SEE 40:54 SOMETHING WAS CHANGING. I STARTED FINDING COMMON GROUND 40:59 WITH HER, BECAUSE I HAD THIS NEWFOUND INTEREST IN -- IN 41:03 RECONNECTING TO MY FAMILY. WHENEVER I HAD CHOSEN TO REJECT 41:08 GOD IN A WAY ALSO JUST TO REJECT MY FAMILY IN A LARGE WAY, 41:12 BECAUSE MY SISTER AND MY MOTHER HAD BECOME CHRISTIANS. 41:16 >> HERE I AM THIS HOT SHOT HAIRDRESSER, AND MY SISTER CAME 41:19 UP TO ME -- AND THE LORD HAD TOLD HER, TERE WAS AN 41:23 EVANGELISTIC SERIES GOING ON. AND THE LORD SAID INVITE YOUR 41:28 BROTHER. AND SO SHE SAID HEY, THERE IS 41:32 THIS EVANGELISTIC THING GOING ON, DO YOU WANT TO GO? 41:35 AND I LOOKED AT HER -- AND OF COURSE I DIDN'T WANT TO 41:38 GO -- BUT I LOOKED AT HER AND I SAID ALL RIGHT. 41:43 I'LL GO. >> THERE WAS ONE PARTICULAR IN 41:46 PERSON THAT I REALLY SAW THE CHARACTERISTICS OF CHRIST, AND 41:49 WE WOULD CROSS PATHS, AND EXCHANGE WORS, AND THEN GO OUR 41:52 SEPARATE WAYS, AND I WOULD JUST THINK EVERY TIME, I DON'T KNOW 41:55 WHAT THAT MAN HAS, BUT I WANT IT TOO, AND EVENTUALLY I DECIDED I 41:59 WAS GOING TO GO TO CHURCH ONE WEEKEND, BECAUSE I KNEW HE WAS 42:03 SPEAKING, AND I WANTED TO HEAR WHAT WAS WORKING FOR HIM. 42:06 SO AS HE STARTED IN ON THAT MESSAGE, THE FIRST THING THAT HE 42:10 SAID WAS TODAY WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE CRUICIFIXION. 42:18 AND I THOUGHT ANYTHING BUT THAT. >> THE PREACHER WAS TAKING AN 42:24 ALTER CALL. AND AS I WAS SITTING IN MY 42:26 CHAIR, I KNEW I WANTED TO ACCEPT JESUS INTO MY HEART THAT NIGHT, 42:30 BUT WHEN I WAS THINKING ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND AND HOW MY LIFE WAS, 42:34 THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD GO UP THERE. 42:36 THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD CHANGE MY LIFE. 42:38 AND SO JUST THEN, AS I WAS SITTING IN THAT CHAIR, THE 42:42 PREACHER SAID, FOR SOME OF YOU TONIGHT, HE SAID YOU WILL NEVER 42:46 HAVE ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO ACCEPT THE HOLY SPIRIT IN YOUR 42:50 LIFE. AND I SAID LORD, I CAN'T GO UP 42:52 THERE, BUT I GIVE YOU MY HEART. >> YOU SEE WHENEVER I THOUGHT 42:56 ABOUT GOD, I THOUGHT ABOUT LIGHT AND LOVE AND JOY AND PEACE AND 43:02 GOODNESS, AND ALL OF THESE HAPPY THINGS, AND THAT WAS GOD TO ME. 43:05 BUT WHEN I PICKED UP THE BIBLE, AND I READ THE BIBLE, YOU KNOW, 43:09 I WOULD READ ABOUT TRIBULATION AND STRUGGLE AND SIN AND WAR AND 43:13 DEATH AND THE CRUCIFIXION, AND THERE WAS NO WAY IN MY MIND THAT 43:17 THOSE KIND OF STORIES COULD RESINATE WITH GOD. 43:21 SO WHEN HE SAID THAT, I THOUGHT ANYTHING BUT THE CRUCIFIXION. 43:26 AND THE NEXT THING HE SAID WAS, YOU ARE PROBABLY THINKING THE 43:32 CRUCIFIXION, WHY THAT? ANYTHING BUT THAT? 43:34 AND HE SAID EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT. 43:37 SO THAT GOT MY ATTENTION. AND I SAT UP AND I SAID GOD YOU 43:42 HAVE SOMETHING FOR ME TO HEAR TODAY, AND I'M GONG TO LISTEN. 43:45 >> ONE DAY I SAT DOWN IN MY BEDROOM, AND -- I DON'T KNOW, IT 43:56 WAS JUST -- I DON'T KNOW, THE HOLY SPIRIT WAS THERE. 44:04 ♪ >> AND I WAS SO INSPIRED AND 44:07 TROUBLED AND MOVED BY THAT MESSAGE, I JUST SPENT ME WHOLE 44:10 REST OF THE DAY WRESTLING WITH GOD. 44:13 I WAS SAYING, YOU KNOW -- I WAS JUST PRAYING. 44:16 I WAS SAYING THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. 44:18 I HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE THAT THERE ARE DECISIONS THAT 44:21 SEPARATED ME FROM THE LIGHT AND FORCED ME INTO THE DARKNESS. 44:24 THAT WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST LESSONS OF NATURE THAT I REALLY 44:30 RESINATED WITH AT THE TIME, WAS LIGHT AND DARKNESS. 44:33 >> WELL, I HAD THE CHRISTIAN UPBRINGING, AND I KNEW FROM THE 44:36 WORD OF GOD THAT I WASN'T PLEASING GOD, AND I KNEW THAT 44:40 THERE HAD TO BE A SOLUTION, BECAUSE GOD DIDN'T CREATE THIS 44:44 WORLD AND LEAVE ME WITH NO ANSWERS. 44:47 AND SO NOW, HE HAD A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE, AND I BEGAN TO 44:54 CONTEMPLATE THE FACT THAT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS WERE 45:00 DEAD, ALL OF MY GAY FRIENDS, AND I BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT MY 45:08 DESTINY, LIKE, OKAY, WAYNE WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU? 45:11 HOW DOES IT TURN OUT? HOW DOES THIS ALL END? 45:14 >> AND WHEN I STOPPED BLAMING AND STARTED USING LOGIC. 45:20 I JUST STARTED THINKING LOGICALLY. 45:22 HOW COULD I BE BORN GAY? AND I STARTED REVIEWING MY LIFE 45:27 TO SEE IF I COULD CONNECT THE DOTS. 45:30 AND THAT'S WHEN I REVIEWED MY MOLESTATION, AND I CAME THE 45:40 REA REALIZATION THAT I WAS DERAILED 45:46 IN MY LIFE. AND IF I COULD BE DERAILED, WHY 45:52 COULDN'T BE, RERAILED. >> THERE I WAS SITTING IN FRONT 45:56 OF GOD, AND I SIMPLY HEARD HIM SAY, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? 46:00 YOU HAVE BEEN BLAMING ME YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR HAVING CAUSED 46:05 THIS. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, WAYNE, SIN 46:10 CAUSED THIS, THE ENEMY. >> I WAS INVOLVED IN A COMMITTED 46:15 RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS FOR LIFE, AND WE LOVED EACH OTHER VERY 46:18 MUCH, BUT AS I STUDIED, I BEGAN TO LOVE JESUS MORE, AND I 46:24 REALIZED, I HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE BETWEEN THESE TWO MEN. 46:27 THIS MAN THAT I'M INVOLVED WITH, AND THEN THE RELATIONSHIP OF 46:32 WHICH GOD DOES NOT APPROVE, AND THE MAN, JESUS WHO GAVE HIS LIFE 46:35 FOR ME. THAT -- THAT NIGHT IN THE 46:38 PARKING LOT, MY SISTER SAID SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT 46:42 YOUR BOYFRIEND? AND I SAID NOTHING, I'M GAY. 46:45 THIS IS WHO I AM. I PRAYED THAT THE LORD COULD 46:48 TAKE THIS AWAY. I PRAYED THAT -- THAT -- THAT HE 46:53 WOULD HEAL ME AND HE NEVER DID. ALL I KNOW IS I'M GAY, AND I WAS 46:58 BORN THIS WAY, AND I KNOW JESUS LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM. 47:02 AND THE NEXT MORNING I WAS BAPTIZED. 47:04 GOD WAS BEGINNING A JOURNEY WITH ME. 47:07 I BELIEVE HE KNEW THAT HE HAD TO GET ME INTO THAT BAPTISMAL POOL 47:13 TO MAKE THIS COMMITMENT TO FOLLOW HIM AND WALK WITH HIM, 47:16 AND THAT HE WAS GOING TO BE WITH ME IN ALL OF THE CONFUSION, AND 47:20 THAT HE WAS GOING TO WALK WITH ME. 47:22 >> IT'S AS THOUGH THE DEVIL WAS NOT GOING TO LET ME GO, AND IF 47:27 HE COULD DO NOT ENTICE ME AND LURE ME, AND DECEIVE ME, HE 47:31 WOULD TURN TO VIOLENCE, AND THAT MAN THAT I WAS DEEPLY IN LOVE 47:36 WITH TURNED ON ME, AND BY THE TIME WE OT THROUGH WITH THAT 47:42 EPISODE, I LOOKED LIKE I HAD BEEN IN A CAR WRECK. 47:48 I WAS ALMOST KILLED IN THAT PROCESS. 47:50 THE LORD SPARED MY LIFE, BUT HE LET ME GO THROUGH THAT TRAUMA, 47:54 AND I THINK HE ALLOWED ME TO GO THROUGH THAT TRAUMA TO WAKE ME 48:00 UP TO SEE WHO I WAS REALLY DEALING WITH, AND THAT I WAS 48:03 REALLY IN BONDAGE, AND I DID NEED MIRACULOUS DELIVERANCE, AND 48:09 WHEN I WALKED AWAY FROM THAT RELATIONSHIP TO ACCEPT JESUS 48:13 CHRIST, I TURNED AWAY, AND NEVER WENT BACK 48:17 >> I WENT HOME AND ALL OF A SUDDEN A REALITY HIT ME THAT 48:21 WAIT A MINUTE, AM I NEVER GOING TO KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO LOVE -AGAIN? 48:25 AM I NEVER GOING TO HAVE SOMEBODY HOLD ME IN THEIR ARMS 48:30 AND TELL ME THEY LOVE ME? AM I NEVER GOING TO KNOW WHAT IT 48:34 IS LIKE TO HOLD SOMEBODY AND LOVISH THEM WITH LOVE TOO. 48:37 I LOVED JESUS AND I WANTED TO SERVE HIM WITH MY WHOLE HEART, 48:43 AND IT WAS LIKE HOW COULD YOU GIVE ME TO GIVE UP SOMETHING 48:47 THAT WAS SO GOOD. >> ONE OF MY FRIENDS TOLD 48:49 ME -- I SAID HOW COULD GOD -- IF HE REALLY WANTS ME TO GIVE UP 48:54 BEING A HOMOSEXUAL, HOW COULD HE ASK ME TO JUST GIVE THAT UP? 48:59 LIKE WHAT -- THAT'S LIKE WHO I AM. 49:01 HOW COULD HE ASK THAT OF ME? AND SHE SAID, HOW CAN YOU GIVE 49:07 UP ANYTHING FOR SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW? 49:12 AND I SAID I KNOW WHO GOD IS, AND SHE SAID, NO, YOU KNOW ABOT 49:18 GOD. SHE SAID YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE 49:20 IS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE 49:22 CHARACTER OF GOD IS. YOU DONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 49:25 HIM. YOU KNOW THAT HE CREATED THE 49:28 WORLD, WHICH YOU BELIEVE, AND YOU ARE COMING TO TERMS WITH THE 49:32 FACT THAT HE IS NOT GOING TO FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING YOU 49:35 DON'T WANT TO DO. AND SHE SAID THAT'S REALLY ALL 49:39 YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM, AND THAT JUST BLEW MY MIND. 49:43 LIKE THAT THERE WAS MORE TO GOD THAN I HAD EVER REALIZED; THAT 49:47 HE MAY POSSIBLY HAVE LIKE A WHOLE PERSONA ABOUT HIM, THAT I 49:51 WAS JUST COMPLETELY UNAWARE. AND THAT TOTALLY MADE SINCE, I 49:56 WOULD NEVER GIVE UP WHO I AM FOR SOMEONE I DIDN'T KNOW. 50:01 >> I THOUGHT ALL ALONG THAT GOD WANTED ME TO BE STRAIGHT, AND I 50:05 WAS PRAYING THAT PRAYER, GOD PLEASE, MAKE ME STRAIGHT. 50:08 AND I KNOW SO MANY OUT THERE THAT HAVE PRAYED THIS, LIKE, GOD 50:13 DIDN'T MAKE ME STRAIGHT, SO IT'S HIS FAULT, NOT MINE. 50:17 AND IT WAS LIKE A LIGHTNING BOLT EXPERIENCE TO ME. 50:22 GOD IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY. 50:26 THE ENEMY HAS CONVINCED YOU, HAS CONVINCED ME THAT MY IDENTITY 50:31 WAS IN SEX, IN MY PERSUASIONS AND MY QUESTS FOR WHERE I 50:37 MATCHED UP SEXUALLY RATHER THAN IN MY IDENTITY IN JESUS CHRIST. 50:43 THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEXUAL PERSUASION, BUT THIS IS SOMEBODY 50:49 FINDING OUT WHO I AM IN ACCORDANCE WITH GOD'S PLAN. 50:53 >> AND I REMEMBER GOING INTO MY KITCHEN AND MIXING MYSELF A 51:01 DOUBLE MARGARITA, AND I SAT DOWN IN THE LIVING ROOM AND I LIT UP 51:06 A CIGARETTE, AND OPENED THE WORD OF GOD AND STARTED READING. 51:10 I THINK THE LORD JUST MET ME WHERE I WAS. 51:13 AND I WENT INTO THIS TREMBLING, AND CERTAINLY NOT PERFECT, BUT I 51:19 BEGAN THIS COMMITMENT WITH JESUS, AND IT WAS MESSY, I WOULD 51:24 GO TO CHURCH AND FEEL JUST GO HOME AND SAY THIS IS WHO I AM. 51:38 THIS IS YOUR NEW LITTLE LAMB FOR YOUR FLOCK. 51:42 AND I WOULD -- YOU KNOW, JUST SAY, YOU STILL WANT ME? 51:45 BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE REJECTED ME AND TURNED THEIR BACK ON ME. 51:49 YOU WANT TO GO TOO NOW? AND EACH AND EVERY TIME, HIS 51:53 ANSWER WAS ALWAYS THE SAME. I STILL HEAR, GET BACK UP, WALK 52:04 WITH ME. LET'S GO THROUGH THIS TOGETHER. 52:07 >> IT WASN'T UNTIL I -- I FOUND THE ANSWER THEY WAS LOOKING FOR 52:11 IN THE FACE OF JESUS CHRIST, THAT I REALLY STARTED 52:15 EXPERIENCING CONTENTMENT; THAT LIFE WITH -- WITH CHRIST AND 52:20 BEING CLOSE TO GOD WAS ENOUGH. ♪ 52:30 >> I FOUND MYSELF ON MY KNEES AT THE END OF MY BED, AND I SAID, 52:36 GOD, HOW -- I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COULD FORGIVE ME FOR DOING SO 52:41 MANY THINGS THAT BROUGHT SHAME TO YOU, THAT HURT YOU, BECAUSE 52:45 THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU WANTED FROM ME. 52:46 I HAVE WASTED ALL OF THESE YEARS IN MY LIFE. 52:50 I HAVE DEDICATED MY LIFE TO SELF PLEASURE, WHETHER IT WAS THROUGH 52:55 DRUGS OR ALCOHOL OR SEX OR -- DOING ALL KINDS OF THINGS 52:59 TO GRATIFY ME, CERTAINLY NOT TO PLEASE GOD. 53:02 ♪ >> AND I HAD READ ENOUGH AT THAT 53:06 POINT WHERE I KNEW THAT -- THAT JESUS' WHOLE PURPOSE OF GOING TO 53:14 THE CROSS WAS TO PAY FOR WHAT I HAD DONE TO HIM. 53:19 ♪ 53:38 >> HE SAYS, YOU ARE MY SON. I DON'T CONDEMN YOU AS A SINNER. 53:44 I DIED FOR YOUR SINS. BUT I ASK FOR YOU TO GIVE 53:50 YOURSELF OVER TO ME, BECAUSE THERE'S A BETTER WAY THAN THE 53:53 WAY THAT YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED. I SHED MY BLOOD FOR OU SO THAT 53:59 YOU CAN CLAIM THIS VICTORY. IT'S FREELY YOURS. 54:03 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GIVE YOUR HEART TO ME. 54:08 ♪ 54:11 >> THIS IS SO POWERFUL. YOU KNOW, TO -- TO SEE THE 54:17 JOURNEY AND TO SEE HOW GOD HAS JUST HAD HIS HAND ON YOU, 54:22 THROUGH YOUR WHOLE LIVES; THAT HE DIDN'T LET YOU GUYS GO, EVER. 54:25 AND SO -- AND WE'RE STARTING TO GET QUESTIONS, AND -- BUT FOR 54:31 THOSE OF YOU WHO JUST TUNED IN. YOU ARE WATCHING "JOURNEY 54:36 INTERRUPTED" CAN COMING OUT MINISTRIES. 54:38 AND I NEGLECTED TO SAY, WELCOME TO DARE TO DREAM. 54:42 WE'RE SIMULCASTING WITH DARE TO DREAM. 54:45 HI DARE TO DREAM AUDIENCE! [ LAUGHTER ] 54:48 >> WELCOME TO THIS -- THIS IMPORTANT FILM -- THIS IMPORTANT 54:54 PROGRAM, "JOURNEY INTERRUPTED" WITH COMING OUT MINISTRIES. 54:57 >> AND THE BEST PART IS, WE'RE NOT THOUGH YET. 55:00 WE HAVE ANOTHER 15 MINUTES OR SO, THAT'S REALLY, I THINK, 55:03 GOING TO BRING THIS ALL TOGETHER. 55:04 WE ARE GETTING QUESTIONS ALREADY. 55:07 WHAT WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO AFTER -- WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A 55:10 BREAK IN A COUPLE OF MOMENTS, THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT, WE'RE 55:13 GOING TO SHOW YOU THE REST OF THIS FILM. 55:16 IT'S ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. WE KNOW IT'S ANOINTED. 55:20 GOD HAS PUT THIS THING TOGETHER THROUGH A SERIES OF MIRACES, 55:23 AND WE KNOW IT'S FOR A SEASON SUCH AS THIS, AN HOUR SUCH AS 55:28 THIS, CLOSING MOMENTS OF EARTH'S HISTORY, SO MUCH CONFUSION ABOUT 55:33 THIS. EVEN WITHIN CHURCH. 55:35 I HEARD SOMEONE IN LEADERSHIP SAID 49% OF OUR YOUNG PEOPLE IN 55:40 OUR UNIVERSITIES SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH SAME-SEX MARRIAGE. 55:44 >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> I'M OLD ENOUGH THAT THAT DOES 55:48 NOT COMPUTE. THAT'S LIKE ARE YOU SURE 55:50 SOMEBODY SAID THAT? I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYBODY, YOU 55:53 KNOW, SAYING THAT, BUT YET, THOSE ARE FIGURES FROM 55:59 UNIVE UNIVERSITIES, OURS INCLUDED, AND 56:02 THAT TO ME IS AMAZING. THAT'S WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT 56:05 THAT WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY. NOW WHAT WE WANT YOU TO DO IS 56:10 BEGIN TO CALL IN YOUR QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS. 56:13 WE JUST KIND OF TAKE THEM FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE. 56:18 618-627-4651 OR EMAIL US LIVE@3ABN.TV. 56:22 THE OTHER THING I'M GOING TO DO TOWARDS THE END -- I WANT YOU TO 56:26 THINK ABOUT IT AND PRAY IT ABOUT RIGHT NOW, WHAT THEY WOULD LIKE 56:29 TO DO, AND WHAT WE VERY MUCH SUPPORT IS TO BE ABLE TO PUT OUT 56:34 THIS DVD LIKE THE LEAVES OF AUTUMN. 56:37 I'M GOING TO BE ASKING YOU TO THINK ABOUT AND ASKING THE HOLY 56:42 SPIRIT WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO TO SUPPORT THIS MINISTRY, AND 56:46 THAT WILL ENABLE THEM TO BE ABLE TO PUT THESE THINGS OUT, WE HOPE 56:52 BY THE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS, BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALIZE THERE 56:56 IS SUCH A NEED FOR TRUTH EVEN WERE OUR OWN CHURCH. 57:00 SO MY EYES ARE BEING OPENED UP, AND I HOPE OF YOURS ARE TOO. 57:04 THE ANSWER IS WE SERVE A SAVIOR IN THE WORLD TODAY, AND THIS 57:08 SAVIOR DIED FOR YOU AND ME, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE. 57:14 WE ALL HAVE STRUGGLES AND DEAL WITH SIN. 57:16 BUT WHAT I'M HEARING FROM THESE FOLK, GOD GIVES YOU VICTORY. 57:21 SO I'M EXCITED, AND CAN'T WAIT UNTIL -- JUST A COUPLE OF MORE 57:27 MINUTES YVONNE. >> I KNOW. 57:29 I KNOW. I'M EXCITED TOO. 57:31 BECAUSE FOLKS NEED TO HEAR THIS. WE NEED TO HEAR THIS. 57:35 SO STAY TUNED. ♪ |
Revised 2018-02-24