Welcome back to our 3ABM Thursday Night Live. 00:00:10.81\00:00:14.11 This is our Woman's Live. 00:00:14.21\00:00:15.94 We've been talking about helper, not lesser. 00:00:16.28\00:00:19.08 God's purpose for woman. 00:00:19.55\00:00:21.45 If you missed the first hour, you can always go on YouTube or 00:00:21.75\00:00:25.99 3ABM Plus and you can watch it on demand later. 00:00:25.99\00:00:29.09 It was a powerful hour we heard from Sister Angela Vandervalk 00:00:29.39\00:00:32.76 as she shared about the helpmate in marriage. 00:00:32.76\00:00:35.30 Right now we're talking with Fotini. 00:00:35.56\00:00:37.23 Martinez and her story as far as being a helpmate as a single 00:00:37.90\00:00:42.57 mom and her daughter being autistic and that journey and 00:00:42.57\00:00:46.27 what that looks like. 00:00:46.27\00:00:47.38 And then of course we have Sasha Thomas with us and Sasha 00:00:47.58\00:00:51.45 is going to be sharing about helpmate as a mom with your 00:00:51.45\00:00:54.58 children and then Sister Terri Stanley in the middle here is 00:00:54.58\00:00:58.92 going to be sharing as well about helpmate as a mentor and 00:00:58.92\00:01:02.82 then I'm going to be talking about ministries. 00:01:02.82\00:01:04.63 So just a blessing to be together and to share. 00:01:04.63\00:01:07.23 And we left off last hour right in the middle of Fotini's 00:01:07.23\00:01:12.43 testimony talking about Artemis. 00:01:12.43\00:01:14.30 So you want to pick back up? 00:01:14.34\00:01:16.07 Sure. 00:01:16.60\00:01:22.58 child with autism and allowing room for growth is something 00:01:22.58\00:01:29.12 that you want to keep at the forefront of your mind if 00:01:29.12\00:01:31.95 you're a parent of a child with autism because what comes to my 00:01:31.95\00:01:35.99 mind is Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly 00:01:35.99\00:01:41.36 above all that we ask or think and add that to your prayer 00:01:41.36\00:01:46.97 life, add that to the way you interact with your child. 00:01:46.97\00:01:51.41 And I don't want to give a false hope because I know 00:01:51.41\00:01:53.78 sometimes things go a different way, sometimes they don't. 00:01:53.78\00:01:56.95 But especially in those early years when you receive a 00:01:56.95\00:02:00.25 diagnosis, it can seem so grim. 00:02:00.25\00:02:02.48 But just keep that in mind that God can work good things out of 00:02:02.85\00:02:06.82 every situation. 00:02:06.82\00:02:07.79 And I wanted to make sure to point that out. 00:02:07.82\00:02:09.52 That's beautiful. 00:02:09.99\00:02:10.79 I love that. 00:02:11.03\00:02:11.96 Yeah. 00:02:12.86\00:02:19.67 being a helpmate outside of being a mom, because I know we 00:02:19.67\00:02:23.24 spoke about identity and being a helper. 00:02:23.24\00:02:25.91 And one of those ways would be understanding submission as a 00:02:25.91\00:02:33.42 Christian virtue at large, right, because we all strive to 00:02:33.42\00:02:37.22 be more Christ-like. 00:02:37.22\00:02:38.52 Well, Christ was a very submissive person while he was 00:02:38.75\00:02:41.59 here and still is. 00:02:41.59\00:02:42.59 And we even hear in Ephesians 521 that we need to submit to 00:02:43.06\00:02:47.86 one another. 00:02:47.86\00:02:54.70 understanding that very practical. 00:02:55.30\00:02:57.54 Yeah, I was going to bring that out as how it works in the 00:02:58.01\00:03:01.24 friendship circle, too. 00:03:01.24\00:03:02.28 And that's the word that came to mind. 00:03:02.28\00:03:03.85 I'm a very practical helper because, one, I don't have a 00:03:03.85\00:03:06.98 lot of time to sit there and think about or plan grand 00:03:06.98\00:03:11.59 gestures for somebody. 00:03:11.59\00:03:13.05 And I don't want that to also fall astray and not be what the 00:03:13.05\00:03:17.36 person really wanted, because I understand helping is actually 00:03:17.36\00:03:20.63 advancing the cause or doing something that assists the 00:03:20.63\00:03:23.63 person instead of just doing stuff. 00:03:23.63\00:03:26.13 And so one way that I do that is helping in a very practical 00:03:26.77\00:03:30.47 way, like for a Sister Lenny, it will be helping with her 00:03:30.47\00:03:35.11 with her son, either that picking him up from school or 00:03:35.11\00:03:37.98 watching him for a couple of hours or things like that. 00:03:37.98\00:03:40.62 And that's how I try to be help made both in the church and in 00:03:40.62\00:03:45.79 friendship circles. 00:03:45.79\00:03:46.59 Now, mind you, I do consider myself an introvert, which 00:03:47.19\00:03:51.03 means I can only handle about one or two friends at a time. 00:03:51.03\00:03:53.96 So this is maxed out. 00:03:55.73\00:03:56.83 This is super maxed out. 00:03:57.00\00:03:59.00 Could I just share a thought real briefly about you saying 00:04:02.17\00:04:06.01 aside from being a parent and how you help in the community, 00:04:06.01\00:04:09.54 I would just like to say that as you are helping, you are 00:04:10.01\00:04:13.65 helping your child because you're teaching her to serve. 00:04:13.65\00:04:17.09 And that's something that I've put a big emphasis on with my 00:04:17.09\00:04:20.02 girls is I don't want them to be self, just always looking at 00:04:20.02\00:04:25.33 themselves and wanting everybody to serve them. 00:04:25.33\00:04:27.93 But I want them to have the spirit of service. 00:04:28.10\00:04:29.80 And so as you're doing that, Artemis is seeing you and she 00:04:29.93\00:04:33.67 will develop that same thing, because that's what she's 00:04:33.67\00:04:35.80 growing up watching. 00:04:35.80\00:04:36.94 See, I love what you have to say. 00:04:37.31\00:04:39.11 Your role is so perfect. 00:04:41.14\00:04:43.11 And so while I'm doing that, you mentioned like your 00:04:44.95\00:04:49.45 daughter sees you grow, right? 00:04:49.45\00:04:51.49 That's kind of what I'm hoping for, I guess now. 00:04:51.49\00:04:53.69 Thank you for wording that that way for me. 00:04:53.79\00:04:55.76 She's seeing me grow. 00:04:56.52\00:04:57.93 And so I see it as part of my responsibility to be able to 00:04:58.03\00:05:01.16 foster skills that are actually helpful, right? 00:05:01.16\00:05:04.27 And teaching her how to serve and training up a child in the 00:05:04.27\00:05:07.37 way she should go. 00:05:07.37\00:05:14.04 every so often. 00:05:14.04\00:05:14.98 And I wonder if you guys can figure it out. 00:05:14.98\00:05:16.91 So let me give you a scenario and then I'll ask you a 00:05:17.38\00:05:20.12 question. 00:05:20.12\00:05:24.89 Well, it's a mug, really, like, or dainty as mothers say, so 00:05:24.89\00:05:24.92 it's teacup. 00:05:28.39\00:05:29.52 It's really pretty teacup. 00:05:31.36\00:05:32.83 And I put some nice tea in it and I'm walking around going to 00:05:33.16\00:05:37.93 go sit down on the couch and set it down on the table with 00:05:37.93\00:05:41.27 my Bible study. 00:05:41.27\00:05:42.10 And then Artemis comes and runs into me slightly and the tea 00:05:42.57\00:05:46.47 falls out or some of the tea spills out. 00:05:46.47\00:05:48.54 So now why did the tea spill out? 00:05:49.08\00:05:50.71 Because she ran into it. 00:05:52.11\00:05:53.95 Because it was full. 00:05:54.42\00:05:55.15 It has something to do with what was in it. 00:05:56.12\00:05:58.25 Tea came out because tea was in it. 00:05:58.29\00:06:01.39 And so I try to think of filling my heart, filling my 00:06:02.89\00:06:07.50 mind, filling my spirit with godly virtues. 00:06:07.50\00:06:11.73 I don't want to come across as complaining, as whining, as 00:06:12.00\00:06:18.71 thinking that she's not good enough, you know, because she 00:06:18.71\00:06:22.71 can't do something a certain way. 00:06:22.71\00:06:24.65 And so I want what's in my heart to come out when she 00:06:24.65\00:06:29.75 bumps into me and some spills out of her, right? 00:06:29.75\00:06:32.52 So in a spontaneous moment, I want more joy and cheerfulness 00:06:32.55\00:06:36.56 and support to come out. 00:06:36.56\00:06:39.76 And that's something that I keep in my mind. 00:06:40.20\00:06:42.10 And it's not that sounds very lovey-dovey. 00:06:42.36\00:06:44.70 That's not always what happens. 00:06:44.73\00:06:45.87 That's just the analogy that I keep in my mind. 00:06:46.27\00:06:48.84 Even after the fact, I'm like, oh, remember your teacup, 00:06:49.70\00:06:52.57 remember your teacup. 00:06:52.64\00:06:53.68 And then so then I go back and I have that conversation with 00:06:54.28\00:06:57.41 Artemis. 00:06:57.41\00:06:58.21 And I think that that helps her to understand things too. 00:06:58.58\00:07:02.18 That's so important to have those conversations with our 00:07:02.62\00:07:05.35 kids because I grew up in a household where your parents 00:07:05.35\00:07:08.12 did not apologize to you when they were impatient or said 00:07:08.12\00:07:12.56 something unkind. 00:07:12.56\00:07:13.70 And so that's something I've tried to cultivate with my 00:07:13.70\00:07:16.20 grandchildren is to let them know that grandma's not 00:07:16.20\00:07:19.20 perfect. 00:07:19.20\00:07:19.97 Grandma's growing too. 00:07:21.50\00:07:22.64 Absolutely. 00:07:23.87\00:07:30.58 child because I feel, you know, when you when you look at your 00:07:30.58\00:07:36.08 parents, and I'll come into this in a second, they they're 00:07:36.08\00:07:39.59 supposed to know everything. 00:07:39.59\00:07:40.52 Right. 00:07:40.52\00:07:44.23 support. 00:07:44.23\00:07:44.63 Right. 00:07:44.86\00:07:46.43 They've got a plan. 00:07:46.53\00:07:47.36 They know how to do stuff. 00:07:47.46\00:07:48.70 And along with being a single parent comes the fact of not 00:07:49.63\00:07:54.47 wanting to show weakness in front of your child because, 00:07:54.47\00:07:57.17 you know, you're their only guard. 00:07:57.41\00:08:01.91 Right. 00:08:02.18\00:08:05.01 And, of course, they've got extended family and things like 00:08:05.28\00:08:07.78 that, but they view their parents differently. 00:08:07.78\00:08:09.58 And that's something that I really struggle with, 00:08:11.72\00:08:14.32 especially when it comes to the point of being a helpmate is 00:08:14.32\00:08:14.36 being vulnerable also in certain ways and acknowledging 00:08:17.49\00:08:21.56 where you can grow because you need to be real and vulnerable 00:08:21.56\00:08:25.60 with yourself too. 00:08:25.60\00:08:26.80 And when you have that guard up of, oh, no, I can't cry. 00:08:27.10\00:08:30.27 That's weak. 00:08:30.37\00:08:33.54 scare them, you know. 00:08:33.54\00:08:34.78 And along with that autonomy, like I said, it's really hard 00:08:34.78\00:08:39.55 to work on being submissive and putting others before you when 00:08:39.55\00:08:46.39 you're used to being the person in charge. 00:08:46.39\00:08:49.16 So and I'm sure you can attest to that. 00:08:50.03\00:08:51.79 That's powerful. 00:08:53.03\00:08:53.90 I think, and I don't know, maybe it's just a human thing. 00:08:54.20\00:08:57.03 I was going to say maybe it's a female thing, but maybe it's 00:08:57.10\00:08:59.43 just humanity. 00:08:59.43\00:09:00.40 It's difficult to let those walls down. 00:09:00.94\00:09:02.70 I love what you said about being vulnerable or not feeling 00:09:02.70\00:09:06.37 like you have to be the one always in control or in, you 00:09:06.37\00:09:10.08 know, I've got this. 00:09:10.08\00:09:11.11 I'm the good Christian, as you mentioned before, Angela, you 00:09:11.35\00:09:13.72 know, not bringing up those negative emotions because a 00:09:13.72\00:09:16.72 good Christian wouldn't feel that way or wouldn't whatever. 00:09:16.72\00:09:18.82 But it's hard to let that down and to let yourself cry or to 00:09:18.89\00:09:22.56 let yourself whatever. 00:09:22.56\00:09:23.69 But in a safe place with sisters or a spouse where you 00:09:23.69\00:09:29.26 can be vulnerable. 00:09:29.26\00:09:30.67 Hey, I'm struggling today. 00:09:31.00\00:09:32.27 Can we pray? 00:09:32.27\00:09:33.17 That's a beautiful thing. 00:09:33.44\00:09:35.07 I think it's very important, you know, when you find that 00:09:36.07\00:09:38.81 one person that you can relate to, that you can be yourself 00:09:38.81\00:09:41.54 and that helped you just make sure that person is Christlike. 00:09:41.54\00:09:45.15 Because I have friends that they go and they get advice 00:09:45.51\00:09:48.18 from people that are not Christlike. 00:09:48.18\00:09:49.85 And then they're like, why didn't this work out? 00:09:49.85\00:09:53.29 It's very important. 00:09:53.49\00:09:54.39 And I know I always had my cousin Suzanne. 00:09:54.46\00:09:57.03 She was always there whenever I had trouble in my house or I 00:09:57.13\00:10:01.56 wanted somebody just to cry or talk to. 00:10:01.56\00:10:03.70 I'll always call her and she would just always open up the 00:10:03.97\00:10:06.53 Bible and just help me all the time. 00:10:06.53\00:10:08.87 I was just I am so thankful for her. 00:10:09.04\00:10:11.84 Amen. 00:10:14.21\00:10:14.81 And then considering submission as a greater Christian virtue, 00:10:15.44\00:10:19.88 First Corinthians 1227 also comes to mind. 00:10:20.12\00:10:23.72 It's like now you are the body of Christ, but you're also 00:10:23.89\00:10:25.89 members individually. 00:10:25.89\00:10:27.09 Yes. 00:10:27.26\00:10:28.09 And so that's how I try to find which member I am. 00:10:28.29\00:10:35.66 Because you don't always know, especially if you're a young 00:10:36.50\00:10:39.67 Christian. 00:10:39.67\00:10:40.20 You're like, OK, I'm here. 00:10:40.80\00:10:41.87 What do I do? 00:10:41.87\00:10:43.20 And they're like, well, you could be the pinky toe. 00:10:44.04\00:10:45.94 I don't know. 00:10:46.14\00:10:47.14 You're trying to figure that out. 00:10:48.24\00:10:49.64 You might try to do it all and just be overwhelmed. 00:10:49.64\00:10:52.58 Oh, or that. 00:10:53.58\00:10:55.22 Yeah, I feel that. 00:10:56.45\00:10:57.85 And so that's something that I'm still trying to figure out 00:10:58.52\00:11:04.36 is how to use the gifts that the Lord has given me to be 00:11:04.36\00:11:10.17 part of the body. 00:11:10.17\00:11:11.50 And we can't all be the head, right? 00:11:11.50\00:11:14.57 We can't all be the brain. 00:11:14.57\00:11:15.94 I understand that, which means I'm somewhere down here, 00:11:16.30\00:11:20.08 possibly. 00:11:20.21\00:11:20.88 You know, I could be the pinky toe. 00:11:21.04\00:11:22.34 I could be the left nostril. 00:11:22.41\00:11:23.61 Like, I don't know. 00:11:23.61\00:11:24.55 OK, I'm still working on it. 00:11:24.91\00:11:27.35 So it depends on on what God would have me do. 00:11:27.72\00:11:30.79 But I do kind of have this understanding or communication 00:11:30.82\00:11:36.32 with God, if you will. 00:11:36.32\00:11:37.53 Because if I'm asked, I will do my best to do what I'm asked, 00:11:37.53\00:11:41.56 even if I can't figure it out on my own or step up to the 00:11:42.23\00:11:45.83 plate or volunteer for things. 00:11:45.83\00:11:47.60 If I'm asked and if it comes in front of my eyes often enough, 00:11:48.10\00:11:51.37 I will say something. 00:11:51.44\00:11:52.54 And that is pretty much the only way that I found to be 00:11:54.24\00:11:58.21 able to be submissive in a church environment, if you 00:11:58.21\00:12:01.25 will. 00:12:01.25\00:12:03.72 super structured. 00:12:03.72\00:12:04.39 There's definitely a hierarchy there. 00:12:04.82\00:12:06.62 But understanding my role in that as a single woman in the 00:12:06.62\00:12:10.49 church, and I understand the elders give good advice. 00:12:10.49\00:12:13.66 And I would likely go to an elder for more life important 00:12:15.33\00:12:21.27 advice. 00:12:21.27\00:12:22.47 I'm not sure if that's the way to say it. 00:12:22.64\00:12:24.54 But then overall understanding my place in how everything 00:12:24.97\00:12:29.38 works in the big machine that is called church. 00:12:29.38\00:12:31.91 Amen. 00:12:32.18\00:12:32.65 That's beautiful. 00:12:32.65\00:12:33.88 Thank you so much for sharing. 00:12:34.05\00:12:35.18 I mean, I love the analogy of the body and we each are 00:12:35.18\00:12:38.05 members and we each have that role in that part. 00:12:38.05\00:12:40.32 That's beautiful. 00:12:40.36\00:12:41.09 Thank you for sharing, Sasha. 00:12:41.62\00:12:42.89 Let's come to you and the role of mom. 00:12:42.99\00:12:45.83 And I know she was talking about a mom from a single mom 00:12:45.99\00:12:48.00 perspective, but you have the married mom perspective. 00:12:48.00\00:12:50.93 Well, as a mom, I would say I would label my role as helping 00:12:51.93\00:12:55.70 to build characters fit for eternity. 00:12:55.70\00:12:58.07 And one of the first things that we need to do is to know 00:12:58.51\00:13:00.94 God for ourselves. 00:13:00.94\00:13:02.01 And there's a quote in Adventist home that says the 00:13:02.01\00:13:05.98 Christian mother has her God appointed work, which she will 00:13:05.98\00:13:09.68 not neglect if she is closely connected with God and imbued 00:13:09.68\00:13:13.69 with his spirit. 00:13:13.69\00:13:14.66 And I look at Hannah as an example, like she clearly had a 00:13:14.86\00:13:18.66 relationship with God individually in her marriage. 00:13:18.66\00:13:22.26 So she was able to go and talk to God. 00:13:22.33\00:13:23.90 And because of that, her prayer was answered. 00:13:23.93\00:13:26.17 So it's important to have a relationship with God yourself 00:13:26.23\00:13:28.97 prior to getting married even. 00:13:28.97\00:13:31.04 And it sets you up for success, especially when the trials come 00:13:31.77\00:13:35.91 and many trials will come. 00:13:35.91\00:13:37.11 And we're able to handle it better, like Hannah did, if we 00:13:37.45\00:13:40.72 have that relationship with God. 00:13:40.72\00:13:42.08 And also, there's a quote that says the mother is the queen of 00:13:42.92\00:13:46.29 the home and the children are her subjects. 00:13:46.29\00:13:48.89 And at immediate thought, people might think, oh, is 00:13:50.19\00:13:52.89 mother supposed to be a tyrant? 00:13:52.89\00:13:54.13 She is in charge. 00:13:54.20\00:13:55.10 But no, that's not what it means at all. 00:13:55.40\00:13:57.30 But it is our job to acquaint children with Jesus and lead by 00:13:57.30\00:14:01.70 example. 00:14:01.70\00:14:02.30 It's the mother's duty to create a pleasant and orderly 00:14:02.90\00:14:05.94 atmosphere and teach children to do the same. 00:14:05.94\00:14:09.11 A quote from Letters and Manuscripts says, 00:14:09.44\00:14:11.55 So as the queen of the home, you're doing your duties, but 00:14:21.02\00:14:23.99 you have your children to help you if you're leading them in 00:14:23.99\00:14:26.43 the way that God would have them to go. 00:14:26.43\00:14:28.03 And my next point is to be a help and not a hindrance. 00:14:29.16\00:14:32.53 And I think of Moses and Zipporah. 00:14:33.07\00:14:34.77 Moses was commanded to circumcise his son by God and 00:14:36.00\00:14:39.74 Zipporah didn't want that. 00:14:39.74\00:14:41.01 And she ended up being a hindrance. 00:14:41.18\00:14:43.11 But as women, we have to recognize that there's a heavy 00:14:43.31\00:14:46.75 weight resting on the husband and the father to ensure that 00:14:46.75\00:14:49.48 his family is following where God would have them to go and 00:14:49.48\00:14:53.29 following God's instruction. 00:14:53.29\00:14:54.39 And as a mother, we can't get in the way, which is easy to do 00:14:54.79\00:14:57.69 sometimes, but it's important that we don't. 00:14:57.69\00:15:01.10 And sometimes moms can be ruled by our emotions and not by a 00:15:01.46\00:15:06.33 thus say of the Lord. 00:15:06.33\00:15:07.27 So that's when we can defer to our husbands as the priest of 00:15:07.60\00:15:10.81 the home. 00:15:10.81\00:15:11.27 Okay, what does God say? 00:15:11.37\00:15:12.17 And we can come together. 00:15:12.17\00:15:12.21 What does God say? 00:15:13.17\00:15:14.08 And not be fooled by those heartstrings that sometimes we 00:15:14.38\00:15:17.85 think, well, I'm a nurturer, so I have to do this as a mom. 00:15:17.85\00:15:20.48 Sometimes we have to go straight to the word and say, 00:15:20.48\00:15:23.12 well, God doesn't say to do that. 00:15:23.28\00:15:24.59 So you might have to go against what we feel in our heart to 00:15:24.59\00:15:27.72 do. 00:15:27.72\00:15:27.96 But can we pause a second on that? 00:15:28.92\00:15:30.69 I love that thought about emotions because we are 00:15:31.06\00:15:33.83 emotional creatures. 00:15:33.83\00:15:35.80 I don't know if that's the right word, but women can be 00:15:35.90\00:15:38.30 emotional and men can too. 00:15:38.30\00:15:39.53 Of course, emotion is a human thing. 00:15:39.77\00:15:41.54 But what do we do with that? 00:15:41.97\00:15:43.71 I love what you said about going to the word of God. 00:15:43.74\00:15:45.87 But any thoughts on that with emotion as far as as a woman 00:15:45.87\00:15:49.28 and as a mom from anyone? 00:15:49.28\00:15:50.95 Well, I think it's hard, especially when you're seeing 00:15:52.08\00:15:54.28 your child struggle with something, to not want to do it 00:15:54.28\00:15:58.02 for them. 00:15:58.02\00:16:02.56 way. 00:16:02.56\00:16:05.56 child grow is a hindrance to their development as well. 00:16:05.56\00:16:10.67 And that's one thing that I really appreciated about what 00:16:10.97\00:16:14.37 you said right now. 00:16:14.37\00:16:18.64 emotions leaning in the direction of not wanting to 00:16:18.64\00:16:23.48 discipline children. 00:16:23.48\00:16:24.55 And it's important that we do discipline our children because 00:16:25.35\00:16:28.55 it's our responsibility to teach them the difference 00:16:28.55\00:16:31.32 between right and wrong, the power of choice, but also that 00:16:31.32\00:16:34.96 when they make the wrong choice, there are consequences. 00:16:34.96\00:16:37.29 And so when we're allowing our children, because of our 00:16:37.86\00:16:40.56 emotions, or they'll think I don't love them or whatever 00:16:40.56\00:16:45.13 emotion comes up when it's time to discipline, we have to 00:16:45.13\00:16:48.37 remember that we're doing what's best for that child. 00:16:48.37\00:16:50.97 And we're not doing them any service by allowing them to 00:16:51.21\00:16:54.88 make poor choices without having some kind of 00:16:54.88\00:16:56.98 consequences. 00:16:56.98\00:16:58.61 I'm like, there's parents out there that don't even care. 00:16:58.81\00:17:01.38 I care. 00:17:01.45\00:17:02.25 That's why you're getting in trouble. 00:17:02.32\00:17:03.28 That's why you're going in your room or something. 00:17:03.45\00:17:05.52 I'm like, I'm disciplining you because I love you. 00:17:05.85\00:17:08.32 Honey, sorry about Angela. 00:17:09.46\00:17:10.99 It was cute. 00:17:11.86\00:17:17.37 must have fallen off his bike at some point. 00:17:17.37\00:17:19.07 Something happened with her. 00:17:19.13\00:17:20.20 It was Emma. 00:17:20.37\00:17:21.07 It was Emma. 00:17:21.37\00:17:22.17 Well, Angela goes running across the field and she said, 00:17:22.74\00:17:25.04 Mommy's coming! 00:17:25.31\00:17:26.01 Mommy's coming! 00:17:26.17\00:17:26.88 He's a teenager. 00:17:28.14\00:17:29.34 Poor son. 00:17:29.94\00:17:30.45 He will always be my baby. 00:17:32.51\00:17:34.02 It was cute. 00:17:35.35\00:17:36.32 He actually got off his bike to help his cousin. 00:17:36.32\00:17:39.59 But I thought it was him because he was sitting on the 00:17:40.29\00:17:42.42 floor. 00:17:42.42\00:17:42.69 So I was like, oh, no. 00:17:42.99\00:17:44.23 And other times she would call him to say, all right, Liam, 00:17:45.63\00:17:48.53 it's time to get some water. 00:17:48.63\00:17:49.66 And he's like, Mom. 00:17:49.70\00:17:50.70 So it is important to have those emotions. 00:17:52.77\00:17:55.17 They are important. 00:17:55.24\00:17:56.07 And Alan White says, even when your children are bothering you 00:17:56.47\00:17:59.21 or coming to you with some small thing that really you 00:17:59.21\00:18:02.98 think is not important, you take time and you show that 00:18:02.98\00:18:05.28 emotion. 00:18:05.28\00:18:07.68 But especially when it comes to discipline is important that 00:18:08.08\00:18:11.02 you are unified in purpose with your husband. 00:18:11.02\00:18:13.92 Because I could be studying Adventist Herm all I want. 00:18:15.46\00:18:18.76 But if he hasn't studied with me, we're not going to be on 00:18:18.79\00:18:21.60 the same page about what God expects of us as parents. 00:18:21.60\00:18:25.13 So he could be looking at child guidance and learn a principle 00:18:25.17\00:18:28.30 that I haven't looked at. 00:18:28.30\00:18:29.54 But if we're not studying together, it's not going to 00:18:29.60\00:18:31.61 make much difference. 00:18:31.61\00:18:35.18 to disciplining our children. 00:18:35.18\00:18:36.51 So what we can do is pray and study together, especially 00:18:36.95\00:18:40.25 about our children and the government of the home and what 00:18:40.25\00:18:43.32 God requires of us. 00:18:43.32\00:18:44.52 Because we both had, Doral and I had two different upbringing. 00:18:45.39\00:18:48.62 So the ideas of raising children are going to be 00:18:49.09\00:18:51.29 different. 00:18:51.29\00:18:54.93 together and see what God wants and exercise that in our home. 00:18:54.93\00:18:58.80 And to be a help and not a hindrance when differences do 00:19:00.24\00:19:04.51 arise, especially with discipline, it's important that 00:19:04.51\00:19:08.04 you don't discuss these things in front of your children. 00:19:08.04\00:19:10.81 That's good. 00:19:10.88\00:19:11.81 Because that can cause a breakdown with your children 00:19:12.01\00:19:15.48 and your children can then minimize the authority of your 00:19:15.48\00:19:19.79 husband. 00:19:19.79\00:19:22.52 right in front of your children. 00:19:22.52\00:19:23.76 I'll be honest, I struggle with that still sometimes. 00:19:23.89\00:19:26.76 But it's in those moments that silence is eloquent. 00:19:26.76\00:19:29.96 And really, if there is a problem, you go behind closed 00:19:30.47\00:19:33.87 doors and discuss those things and then work together to 00:19:33.87\00:19:37.77 fulfill what God would have you to do. 00:19:37.77\00:19:39.64 And my third point is to carry out your household duties with 00:19:40.84\00:19:45.68 joy. 00:19:45.68\00:19:46.05 It's not always easy. 00:19:46.78\00:19:48.35 And many times women may complain about the laundry, 00:19:49.28\00:19:51.89 like you were saying earlier, the laundry and the dishes. 00:19:51.99\00:19:54.22 And a lot of times I am included in this will say, I 00:19:54.22\00:19:57.56 wish my husband would help more in this. 00:19:57.56\00:19:59.63 Doesn't he see that the laundry is piled up? 00:19:59.69\00:20:02.60 Doesn't he want to help? 00:20:02.80\00:20:03.90 But just my husband is doing audio for this program and he 00:20:04.47\00:20:08.27 will probably be thrilled with what I'm about to say. 00:20:08.27\00:20:10.97 That's great. 00:20:13.78\00:20:14.74 In Titus 2, 3 through 5, it gives some attributes of a 00:20:15.38\00:20:20.15 woman that we should learn from the older women. 00:20:20.15\00:20:22.32 It says we should be discreet, that is of a sound mind and 00:20:22.32\00:20:26.25 self -control. 00:20:26.25\00:20:27.19 Chaste, which is pure, modest and clean. 00:20:27.42\00:20:29.76 Homemakers, which is to take care of the household. 00:20:30.59\00:20:33.36 Be good, which is pleasant, joyful is what we're talking 00:20:33.73\00:20:36.67 about, having joy in these household duties. 00:20:36.67\00:20:39.13 Obedient to your husband, which really means to yield to one's 00:20:40.20\00:20:44.04 admonition or advice that the word of God may not be 00:20:44.04\00:20:47.41 blasphemed. 00:20:47.41\00:20:51.51 It is our duty as women to be a homemaker. 00:20:51.51\00:20:53.72 As much as we complain and want our husbands to help with it, 00:20:53.82\00:20:57.12 it's our duty. 00:20:57.12\00:20:58.02 And this is not an excuse for husbands to not help because it 00:20:58.72\00:21:03.09 is your God-given duty to ease the burden of your wife. 00:21:03.09\00:21:05.79 Because this is what Jesus did for the church and they should 00:21:05.96\00:21:10.30 love their wives as Christ loved the church. 00:21:10.30\00:21:11.97 But since it's our duties to be the homemakers, if there's 00:21:12.67\00:21:15.84 anything standing in the way of doing that, we might have to 00:21:15.84\00:21:19.14 let it go. 00:21:19.14\00:21:19.81 Because this is our first work. 00:21:19.81\00:21:22.51 And there's a quote that says this work of molding, refining 00:21:22.98\00:21:28.52 and polishing is the mother's. 00:21:28.52\00:21:30.32 The character of the child is to be developed. 00:21:30.72\00:21:32.62 The mother must engrave upon the tablet of the heart lessons 00:21:34.02\00:21:37.36 as enduring as eternity. 00:21:37.36\00:21:39.19 And she will surely meet the displeasure of the Lord if she 00:21:39.53\00:21:42.60 neglects the sacred work or allows anything to interfere 00:21:42.60\00:21:46.10 with it. 00:21:46.10\00:21:51.01 have to rest on just us. 00:21:51.01\00:21:52.41 We're training our children to also take care of the home. 00:21:52.47\00:21:55.54 So as they get older, they will also take on that burden of 00:21:55.68\00:21:59.68 taking care of the home and being homemakers themselves. 00:21:59.68\00:22:02.78 And I also want to discuss self -care versus home care. 00:22:04.02\00:22:08.32 There's a movement for women to make sure you have self-care. 00:22:08.86\00:22:13.03 And I don't want you to think that is not important. 00:22:13.33\00:22:16.20 It is very important that you take care of yourself, you 00:22:16.20\00:22:18.77 exercise. 00:22:18.77\00:22:19.47 But if you have a home that is not a well-ordered, well 00:22:20.04\00:22:23.94 -disciplined, clean home in which your children love to 00:22:23.94\00:22:27.51 obey, you can go and have all the self-care that you want. 00:22:27.51\00:22:30.18 It's only going to be a temporary fix. 00:22:30.25\00:22:32.05 So you're going to get a manicure, get a massage to 00:22:32.35\00:22:35.65 escape this chaotic household. 00:22:35.65\00:22:37.72 And when you come back, you still have to deal with it. 00:22:38.25\00:22:40.56 So how much better would it be to have a peaceful, well 00:22:40.56\00:22:44.89 -ordered home so that there is where you can find joy. 00:22:44.89\00:22:48.66 And then if you have time to do the manicures and pedicures, 00:22:48.70\00:22:50.93 then you can do that. 00:22:51.17\00:22:52.17 And finally, my final point is to redeem the time that may 00:22:55.14\00:22:59.84 have been lost. 00:22:59.84\00:23:00.74 Many times we have discord between our spouses, but we can 00:23:01.61\00:23:05.45 redeem that time and try to make right those wrongs and the 00:23:05.45\00:23:11.39 areas that we disagree and come to God, bring it to prayer, and 00:23:11.39\00:23:14.92 we can make them better. 00:23:14.92\00:23:16.06 And also the mistakes that we have made in raising our 00:23:16.26\00:23:19.83 children, we can also do better in that. 00:23:19.83\00:23:22.50 My personal testimony is that I went through a period of great 00:23:22.56\00:23:27.20 depression. 00:23:27.20\00:23:31.31 lives of my children. 00:23:31.31\00:23:32.14 I had a baby. 00:23:33.04\00:23:34.38 I moved away from my home. 00:23:34.71\00:23:36.04 Sickness struck my husband and my son, and it caused a great 00:23:37.28\00:23:41.82 depression. 00:23:41.82\00:23:42.68 And I can liken myself to Rachel as she was given birth 00:23:43.02\00:23:46.86 to Benjamin. 00:23:46.86\00:23:47.46 She decided to call his name Benoni, I think, Benoni, which 00:23:48.36\00:23:53.63 means son of my sorrow. 00:23:53.63\00:23:55.16 And so I felt after my children in my household, I felt as 00:23:55.50\00:23:58.93 though my life was slipping from me. 00:23:58.93\00:24:00.40 I just wasn't the person that I was. 00:24:00.47\00:24:01.87 I was dying and I was depressed. 00:24:01.87\00:24:04.31 But it doesn't have to be that way if you would follow God's 00:24:04.31\00:24:08.14 counsel, because Rachel's husband, Jacob, then went and 00:24:08.14\00:24:15.15 called his son Benjamin instead, which means son of the 00:24:15.15\00:24:18.72 right hand or strength. 00:24:18.72\00:24:20.02 So even though having children can bring those trials that 00:24:20.96\00:24:24.73 sometimes feel as though your life is slipping away, I'm just 00:24:24.73\00:24:27.13 not the same woman that I was before. 00:24:27.13\00:24:29.66 But it can, if you would follow God's advice, you raise your 00:24:29.66\00:24:33.97 children to take on the burdens of the home with you, then they 00:24:33.97\00:24:37.54 can be the children that bring strength to you. 00:24:37.54\00:24:39.57 They can be your right hand. 00:24:39.57\00:24:40.98 And I'll finish with this quote. 00:24:41.48\00:24:43.14 That's beautiful. 00:25:04.40\00:25:05.43 I like you sharing that. 00:25:06.47\00:25:07.87 That's a personal testimony about the depression, because I 00:25:07.97\00:25:11.07 think people in general struggle with that. 00:25:11.07\00:25:14.54 And women can deal with that. 00:25:15.84\00:25:17.21 Depression is a real thing. 00:25:17.25\00:25:18.58 So let's talk just a moment about that before we switch to 00:25:18.68\00:25:21.75 Terri. 00:25:21.75\00:25:21.95 Any thoughts or ideas? 00:25:22.95\00:25:24.39 Because you at home could be struggling with depression 00:25:24.45\00:25:27.26 right now. 00:25:27.26\00:25:27.99 And we say, be a ray of sunshine. 00:25:27.99\00:25:29.99 And you say, but I can't, but I don't know how to get out of 00:25:30.09\00:25:33.83 what I'm in right now. 00:25:33.83\00:25:35.13 And I understand there's biological reasons. 00:25:35.13\00:25:37.20 There could be a chemical imbalance in the brain 00:25:37.43\00:25:39.97 contributing to that. 00:25:39.97\00:25:41.17 We know that. 00:25:41.37\00:25:42.34 But there could also be other factors that could play into 00:25:42.60\00:25:46.01 that or other factors that play into healing from that. 00:25:46.01\00:25:49.08 Any thoughts on that? 00:25:49.11\00:25:50.18 What really jumped out at me that she shared was that our 00:25:50.51\00:25:53.01 children are our first work. 00:25:53.01\00:25:55.02 And back around, I think it was in the 1960s, I was a baby, but 00:25:55.02\00:25:59.79 I know that there was a women's lib movement. 00:25:59.79\00:26:02.12 And women were, from that point on to this very day, taught 00:26:02.92\00:26:06.06 that, oh, I can do anything a man can do. 00:26:06.06\00:26:08.13 I can be out there working all day and then come home and take 00:26:08.23\00:26:13.80 care of the family. 00:26:13.80\00:26:14.54 We put such high expectations on ourselves. 00:26:14.80\00:26:17.11 And I think sometimes that's what brings on the depression 00:26:17.24\00:26:20.51 is that we have these high expectations of what our life 00:26:20.51\00:26:23.81 should be like. 00:26:23.81\00:26:26.35 And then when we find ourselves struggling and doing too much, 00:26:26.65\00:26:29.65 it becomes very depressing. 00:26:30.05\00:26:31.49 Yeah, I agree with that. 00:26:32.39\00:26:34.22 Absolutely. 00:26:34.59\00:26:34.69 Because it's not possible. 00:26:35.22\00:26:37.79 And a lot of times the goals that are part of movements like 00:26:37.99\00:26:42.53 that, they're not even realistic. 00:26:42.53\00:26:44.03 They're just fiction. 00:26:44.80\00:26:45.83 There's something that's made up. 00:26:46.07\00:26:48.24 And yeah, you could probably maintain something like that 00:26:48.24\00:26:51.44 for a year or two, maybe longer. 00:26:51.44\00:26:53.51 It probably is possible. 00:26:53.84\00:26:55.18 But then once you start adding more things to the equation, 00:26:55.64\00:26:58.91 like, oh, now you have, I don't know, a pet. 00:26:59.11\00:27:00.92 Or now you have children that you need to take care of. 00:27:00.98\00:27:03.75 And you're noticing, oh, the spouse is more like a child now 00:27:03.79\00:27:09.02 because now I have to go to work. 00:27:09.02\00:27:10.93 I have to take care of the home. 00:27:10.99\00:27:13.36 I have to take care of the children. 00:27:13.46\00:27:15.10 I have to take care of the husband. 00:27:15.16\00:27:16.83 I have to take care of myself. 00:27:16.83\00:27:18.43 And you're supposed to be very happy while doing that. 00:27:18.93\00:27:21.24 That's not real. 00:27:21.24\00:27:22.20 It's not real. 00:27:22.90\00:27:24.01 No one can sustain that. 00:27:24.54\00:27:26.64 And I think that has kind of taken the place of the biblical 00:27:27.14\00:27:32.11 role, of biblical womanhood, right? 00:27:32.11\00:27:34.62 Of being submissive, of being able, yes, to put others above 00:27:34.62\00:27:39.05 yourself, right, or before yourself. 00:27:39.05\00:27:41.69 But also recognizing for what purpose. 00:27:42.02\00:27:44.29 It's not to clean up after them. 00:27:44.29\00:27:45.96 It's not to make sure that they're successful in life. 00:27:46.13\00:27:48.83 It's to speak life into them because you're rooted and 00:27:48.86\00:27:52.27 grounded in the word and not trying to chase behind every 00:27:52.27\00:27:55.57 fashion and, you know, whatever it is that the world puts 00:27:55.57\00:28:00.51 before our eyes. 00:28:00.51\00:28:01.58 You walked that journey, Sasha. 00:28:04.05\00:28:05.81 Anything that helped you specifically come out? 00:28:06.08\00:28:08.08 Well, for me personally, I don't know that I could advise 00:28:08.72\00:28:12.25 anyone else to do this. 00:28:12.25\00:28:13.66 But I had to step away from the situation. 00:28:13.66\00:28:17.09 We had moved to Michigan and I was isolated. 00:28:17.23\00:28:20.33 So I went back home, even though it meant separating 00:28:20.66\00:28:24.13 physically from Doral for a time. 00:28:24.13\00:28:26.20 I don't know, really, if it's what God wanted. 00:28:26.60\00:28:29.57 But at that time, I just needed that familial support and the 00:28:29.67\00:28:32.77 raising of my children. 00:28:32.77\00:28:33.54 He worked long hours. 00:28:33.61\00:28:34.71 He was away from home. 00:28:34.74\00:28:35.61 I didn't drive. 00:28:35.64\00:28:36.64 So I was stuck inside all day with these children. 00:28:36.85\00:28:39.25 So it was depressing. 00:28:39.28\00:28:40.35 So I had to step away from the situation, just get my 00:28:40.42\00:28:42.88 bearings. 00:28:42.88\00:28:45.85 And another example is I desperately wanted to 00:28:46.42\00:28:50.89 homeschool my children. 00:28:50.89\00:28:52.46 But when I got moved out here, I was still getting my bearings 00:28:52.86\00:28:56.93 and trying to get back on my feet. 00:28:56.93\00:28:59.63 So I had to send my children to school for a time. 00:28:59.67\00:29:02.70 And I'm considering homeschooling again. 00:29:02.80\00:29:04.67 And I have no problems with the school. 00:29:04.67\00:29:04.71 But it's just I want to kind of have that firsthand role in 00:29:06.64\00:29:10.18 raising my children and developing their characters. 00:29:10.18\00:29:12.61 But I had to send them to school for a time. 00:29:13.05\00:29:15.45 And like Hannah, I had to put them in the hands of someone 00:29:15.92\00:29:18.55 else. 00:29:18.55\00:29:23.89 And I pray that if I do go back to homeschooling, I now have 00:29:24.06\00:29:27.93 that strength built back up again and that faith in God and 00:29:27.93\00:29:30.90 that relationship with God to help me overcome. 00:29:30.90\00:29:33.37 That's beautiful. 00:29:33.57\00:29:34.27 You all talked about expectations. 00:29:34.40\00:29:36.07 And sometimes we put expectations even on recovering 00:29:36.44\00:29:39.21 from depression or the things that we, the challenges that we 00:29:39.21\00:29:42.34 deal with. 00:29:42.34\00:29:42.84 Well, it needs to look this way. 00:29:43.14\00:29:44.41 But everyone's situation is different. 00:29:44.81\00:29:46.92 And we incorporate those biblical principles. 00:29:46.92\00:29:49.25 But yet the expectation, oh, I want to homeschool. 00:29:49.88\00:29:52.12 But maybe right now the right thing is in school, you know. 00:29:52.29\00:29:54.76 So I like that. 00:29:54.76\00:29:55.96 That's good. 00:29:55.99\00:29:56.49 Absolutely. 00:29:56.83\00:29:57.39 Terri, I know we're running out of time here. 00:29:57.79\00:29:59.06 So let's transition the role of a mentor. 00:29:59.06\00:30:01.63 Yeah. 00:30:02.20\00:30:04.37 And I'm here to represent the older women. 00:30:04.37\00:30:04.40 And so God has blessed us all with gifts. 00:30:06.67\00:30:10.47 And no matter what age we are, we can use those gifts for his 00:30:10.67\00:30:13.17 glory. 00:30:13.17\00:30:13.84 And so I've already shared a little bit about my background. 00:30:14.38\00:30:16.61 But I'll just start by saying I was married to a wonderful man 00:30:16.68\00:30:19.58 for 33 years. 00:30:19.58\00:30:20.85 We had a wonderful marriage. 00:30:21.12\00:30:22.25 We had a lot of growth together. 00:30:22.38\00:30:23.99 And we had one daughter together. 00:30:24.62\00:30:26.86 Unfortunately, when my husband was only 53, he died from an 00:30:27.82\00:30:31.86 autoimmune disease. 00:30:31.86\00:30:32.76 And that was very difficult. 00:30:33.66\00:30:35.66 And so I became a widow at 51 years old, unexpectedly. 00:30:35.66\00:30:39.77 And around the same time, my daughter gave birth to our 00:30:40.77\00:30:44.61 first grandchild. 00:30:44.61\00:30:45.61 And under some other circumstances, I ended up with 00:30:46.11\00:30:48.18 that child. 00:30:48.18\00:30:48.81 And a year later, I ended up with another child. 00:30:49.24\00:30:51.65 And so I'm raising my two grandchildren by myself. 00:30:51.75\00:30:55.12 But it's been a tremendous blessing. 00:30:55.38\00:30:56.95 I will say God has a way of speaking to you. 00:30:57.09\00:31:00.89 And my first grandchild was born on my husband's last 00:31:00.92\00:31:03.26 birthday. 00:31:03.26\00:31:03.93 So that was a beautiful gift. 00:31:03.93\00:31:06.26 And he was able to see her. 00:31:06.33\00:31:07.73 And then our second one is what I will call his heavenly 00:31:07.76\00:31:10.13 surprise. 00:31:10.13\00:31:10.83 But I wanted to share with our viewers at home that we can 00:31:12.00\00:31:18.04 relate our experiences to a lot of the experiences in the 00:31:18.04\00:31:21.98 Bible. 00:31:21.98\00:31:25.61 in there? 00:31:25.61\00:31:29.12 the things in the stories to your own life. 00:31:29.12\00:31:30.72 And so the one that I relate to is found in the book of Ruth. 00:31:30.72\00:31:34.02 And I love the story in the book of Ruth because it 00:31:34.89\00:31:38.79 includes a lady by the name of Naomi. 00:31:38.79\00:31:41.16 And so Naomi's situation was very similar to mine in many 00:31:42.56\00:31:46.30 ways. 00:31:46.30\00:31:46.90 She was married to a man named Elimelech. 00:31:47.24\00:31:50.91 And they had two sons. 00:31:51.01\00:31:52.54 And as a result of a famine, they had to go to Moab and just 00:31:52.64\00:31:58.58 to survive and have food. 00:31:58.58\00:31:59.91 And so they go to Moab. 00:31:59.91\00:32:02.48 And unfortunately, the Bible doesn't tell us what happened. 00:32:03.55\00:32:05.59 It just says that her husband died. 00:32:05.72\00:32:07.36 And so here she is in Moab by herself with her two sons. 00:32:07.49\00:32:12.56 And after the husband's death, her two sons married two 00:32:14.46\00:32:18.30 Moabite women, one named Orpah and one named Ruth. 00:32:18.30\00:32:22.10 And so, you know, everything she still had a family and 00:32:22.70\00:32:26.21 everything, everything was probably going OK at that 00:32:26.21\00:32:28.81 point. 00:32:28.81\00:32:32.91 And again, the Bible doesn't say what happened, why they 00:32:33.21\00:32:36.12 died. 00:32:36.12\00:32:36.58 But here she is now in a foreign country. 00:32:36.99\00:32:39.39 And she's with her two daughters-in-law. 00:32:39.79\00:32:42.32 And she decides that she's going to go back to her home 00:32:42.59\00:32:46.09 country because she heard that they now were doing better with 00:32:46.09\00:32:49.10 food and she could go back there. 00:32:49.10\00:32:50.50 So she decides to go back to Bethlehem Judah. 00:32:50.53\00:32:53.50 And this is where I love where the story picks up because the 00:32:54.44\00:32:58.51 character of Naomi really shines here. 00:32:58.51\00:33:00.88 And her two daughter-in-laws want to go with her, which, I 00:33:02.31\00:33:06.08 mean, speaking in general, it doesn't always work out where 00:33:06.08\00:33:09.45 the mother-in-law is someone that you're really close to. 00:33:09.45\00:33:11.59 But these two women, they wanted to leave their home 00:33:11.62\00:33:14.26 country and go back to Bethlehem Judah to be with 00:33:14.26\00:33:18.03 their mother-in-law. 00:33:18.03\00:33:23.23 kind of person she was. 00:33:23.23\00:33:24.47 And so she encourages them not to go with her to stay back in 00:33:24.93\00:33:29.87 their own country because she wants them to be remarried and 00:33:29.87\00:33:33.04 have a productive life and be able to have children and all 00:33:33.04\00:33:35.31 that. 00:33:35.31\00:33:35.58 They didn't really want to. 00:33:36.68\00:33:38.21 In the end, Orpa decides that she'll go back. 00:33:38.68\00:33:41.12 She will not stay with her mother-in-law. 00:33:41.15\00:33:43.45 But Ruth says, No, I'm not going. 00:33:43.89\00:33:45.72 She says, I want to be with you where you die. 00:33:45.72\00:33:48.96 I will die and your God will be my God. 00:33:48.96\00:33:51.36 And so I just thought that here's a here's an older woman. 00:33:52.83\00:33:56.16 She is ministering to these two younger women, one for a time 00:33:56.97\00:34:02.47 and one for a lifetime. 00:34:02.47\00:34:03.91 And so as women, God will bring other women across our pathway. 00:34:04.41\00:34:08.41 And sometimes we'll just minister to them for a short 00:34:08.64\00:34:11.65 time. 00:34:11.65\00:34:15.15 that it's meant to be for a lifetime that we're going to 00:34:15.15\00:34:18.19 mentor them and we're going to be there for them. 00:34:18.19\00:34:21.02 So Ruth goes back with her and they they get back to town. 00:34:23.29\00:34:30.33 And it's really interesting what happens when they get back 00:34:30.37\00:34:33.40 to town. 00:34:33.40\00:34:34.80 Naomi's everybody comes out and they're like happy, so happy 00:34:36.54\00:34:39.47 that she's back. 00:34:39.47\00:34:40.11 Oh, you're back. 00:34:40.11\00:34:40.71 You're back. 00:34:40.78\00:34:43.78 She says, I don't want to be called Naomi anymore. 00:34:44.78\00:34:46.61 And they're like, Well, what do you want to be called? 00:34:46.75\00:34:48.28 And she says, Just call me Mara, which translates as 00:34:48.28\00:34:51.82 bitter. 00:34:51.82\00:34:52.35 And so I thought about that and I thought, Well, you know, she 00:34:53.05\00:34:55.52 had a loving character. 00:34:55.52\00:34:56.66 She had these two women that wanted to follow her. 00:34:56.79\00:34:58.73 She couldn't have been that bitter. 00:34:58.73\00:35:00.53 But I looked more into it. 00:35:00.53\00:35:01.70 And it's the same word that was used in Job's situation and in 00:35:01.70\00:35:06.27 Jeremiah's situation for two examples. 00:35:06.27\00:35:08.57 It was bitterness of soul. 00:35:09.10\00:35:10.57 It was more of a grief over the loss of her loved ones. 00:35:10.71\00:35:13.81 But it wasn't like a bitter, an angry bitter. 00:35:14.04\00:35:16.85 And so there's a difference there. 00:35:17.35\00:35:18.91 And so I think it's important for us as women to remember 00:35:18.95\00:35:21.75 that we can have a situation that can be bitter. 00:35:21.75\00:35:25.35 The grief of the loss of a loved one. 00:35:25.35\00:35:28.36 But we don't have to allow it to make us bitter. 00:35:28.66\00:35:30.86 And that's so important for me to really reflect on that 00:35:31.73\00:35:34.36 because after I lost my husband, I can honestly say 00:35:34.36\00:35:37.60 that I wasn't bitter about his death because he died in 00:35:37.60\00:35:41.84 Christ. 00:35:41.84\00:35:47.44 relationship with him. 00:35:47.44\00:35:48.41 And I knew how he related with God. 00:35:48.41\00:35:50.51 And so I was secure in that. 00:35:50.65\00:35:52.15 But what I was bitter about was the fact that my daughter was 00:35:52.15\00:35:55.02 not living up to her responsibilities as a mother. 00:35:55.02\00:35:57.65 And so now here I was with this baby at 51 years old. 00:35:58.12\00:36:01.52 And so I was still going to church and I was still doing 00:36:01.96\00:36:04.46 all of those things. 00:36:04.46\00:36:05.56 But I was bitter because now it had disrupted my life. 00:36:06.16\00:36:09.50 But also I knew that my grandchild was growing up 00:36:09.50\00:36:09.53 without her mother. 00:36:12.47\00:36:13.27 And so I would just encourage all of us as women, your 00:36:13.77\00:36:18.81 situation can be bitter, but you don't have to allow it to 00:36:18.81\00:36:21.74 make you bitter. 00:36:21.74\00:36:22.38 But praise God, he doesn't give up on us. 00:36:22.91\00:36:25.55 And so Ruth went back and her and Naomi were back in town. 00:36:26.68\00:36:30.19 And what I see here now is that Naomi is guiding Ruth on her 00:36:30.79\00:36:35.69 journey because now Ruth is in a foreign country. 00:36:35.69\00:36:39.19 And Naomi has an understanding of all the customs and 00:36:39.56\00:36:42.40 traditions and things like that. 00:36:42.40\00:36:43.83 And so she's guiding her on where she can work and the 00:36:43.83\00:36:47.84 things that she can do. 00:36:47.84\00:36:48.94 And of course, we know Boaz comes into the picture. 00:36:48.94\00:36:51.34 And so what I see there is Naomi steps out of the role as 00:36:54.58\00:37:00.62 mother and wife. 00:37:00.62\00:37:02.75 And now she's become a mentor to this young woman who doesn't 00:37:02.98\00:37:06.86 have an understanding of that culture or that religion. 00:37:06.86\00:37:11.43 But she had the desire to follow that. 00:37:11.46\00:37:14.46 And so Naomi is leading her step by step. 00:37:14.76\00:37:17.40 And what I think is beautiful is that through the course of 00:37:17.40\00:37:21.57 events, God allows Ruth to marry into Naomi's family 00:37:21.57\00:37:26.01 again. 00:37:26.01\00:37:26.61 And so I encourage everyone at home to go and read that story. 00:37:27.24\00:37:30.05 There's so much more that could be said. 00:37:30.15\00:37:31.81 And so as a result of Ruth marrying into the family again, 00:37:32.58\00:37:37.19 she gives birth to a child. 00:37:37.52\00:37:39.19 And Naomi has the privilege of becoming what the Bible calls a 00:37:39.82\00:37:43.79 nurse. 00:37:43.79\00:37:46.49 She becomes the nanny for that child. 00:37:46.49\00:37:48.53 And I saw a similarity in my situation where I was a wife 00:37:48.56\00:37:53.13 and a mother. 00:37:53.13\00:37:53.70 My husband dies. 00:37:53.97\00:37:54.94 My daughter steps out of the situation by choice. 00:37:55.04\00:37:57.27 God gives me these two beautiful grandchildren to take 00:37:57.67\00:38:00.44 care of. 00:38:00.44\00:38:01.28 And then I have a new role in life. 00:38:01.28\00:38:03.28 And so something else that you wanted me to speak to was 00:38:03.45\00:38:07.02 figuring out who you are after you lose your husband. 00:38:07.02\00:38:10.79 Because when you've been married to somebody for 33 00:38:10.82\00:38:13.05 years and then they're gone all of a sudden. 00:38:13.05\00:38:15.66 It's like, wow, now what do I do? 00:38:15.66\00:38:18.19 But thank God that he's a faithful husband. 00:38:18.83\00:38:21.43 And so it even tells us in the book of Isaiah, thy maker is 00:38:21.56\00:38:24.67 thy husband. 00:38:24.67\00:38:25.13 And so I leaned heavily on that. 00:38:25.47\00:38:27.37 And I remember my sister saying to me, sis, how are you going 00:38:27.60\00:38:30.77 to live by yourself? 00:38:30.77\00:38:31.71 I married him when I was 18 and now here I am alone. 00:38:31.84\00:38:34.24 And I said, well, you know, I'm not going to do anything but 00:38:34.38\00:38:37.25 live by myself because I didn't want to be a burden to anybody 00:38:37.25\00:38:39.38 else. 00:38:39.38\00:38:39.78 And I was going through a heavy time of grief. 00:38:40.35\00:38:43.15 And I couldn't hardly really study or pray. 00:38:43.15\00:38:46.25 But I read through the book of Psalms because the book of 00:38:46.42\00:38:49.22 Psalms just has such rich meaning and prayers. 00:38:49.22\00:38:52.93 And it's just real. 00:38:52.96\00:38:53.86 It's what I would call raw. 00:38:54.20\00:38:55.50 And so as I was reading through the Psalms and then into 00:38:56.13\00:38:58.67 Proverbs, God brought me to a beautiful verse. 00:38:58.67\00:39:00.80 And it just simply says that God establishes the border of 00:39:00.80\00:39:04.01 the widow. 00:39:04.01\00:39:09.28 And he says, you can come here to anybody else. 00:39:09.28\00:39:11.58 You can come here, but you can't come any further. 00:39:11.61\00:39:13.78 And that brought me such comfort and such peace. 00:39:13.82\00:39:16.32 And so I was able to live by myself and not worry about 00:39:16.38\00:39:19.65 anybody coming in the house to this day. 00:39:19.65\00:39:21.22 I still don't worry about anybody coming into the house 00:39:21.26\00:39:23.83 because I know that God has established the border of the 00:39:23.83\00:39:26.76 widow. 00:39:26.76\00:39:27.03 And so that's been that's brought me such peace. 00:39:28.03\00:39:30.27 But back to finding out who we are, something else that the 00:39:30.27\00:39:34.17 Lord has shown me. 00:39:34.17\00:39:35.14 Did somebody else have a comment? 00:39:35.67\00:39:36.67 Go ahead. 00:39:36.67\00:39:37.94 I'm sorry. 00:39:38.07\00:39:38.41 About the being in a bitter situation, but not allowing it 00:39:39.77\00:39:42.84 to make you bitter. 00:39:42.84\00:39:43.71 That made me think of Abigail and in the Bible, right, where 00:39:44.11\00:39:48.65 her marriage was likely arranged or whatever. 00:39:48.65\00:39:50.85 And Nabal was a drunkard. 00:39:51.25\00:39:52.32 So I'm sure if anybody had reason to be disappointed in 00:39:52.42\00:39:55.02 their marriage, it was Abigail was right up there on the list. 00:39:55.02\00:39:59.03 But still, you know, later on, when we see her interaction 00:39:59.46\00:40:02.63 with David, who's coming to kill her husband, she's still 00:40:02.63\00:40:06.10 submissive to Nabal. 00:40:06.10\00:40:08.44 She takes the responsibility for him. 00:40:09.04\00:40:11.34 She still doesn't blame him or talk poorly of him. 00:40:11.47\00:40:16.18 You know, so she didn't allow that to make her bitter because 00:40:16.41\00:40:18.51 she could have very easily been like, yeah, this is great. 00:40:18.51\00:40:20.75 Come kill him. 00:40:20.85\00:40:21.72 You know, I'll be I'll be rid of him. 00:40:21.75\00:40:23.62 But she still takes on that role and honors her husband in 00:40:23.92\00:40:27.72 that biblical way because she she loved the Lord. 00:40:27.72\00:40:30.89 And I absolutely saw that and how you were describing the 00:40:30.89\00:40:35.33 situation with Naomi and her daughters-in-law. 00:40:35.33\00:40:38.07 So that was beautiful. 00:40:38.13\00:40:38.90 I just wanted to point that out. 00:40:38.93\00:40:40.10 Thank you. 00:40:40.34\00:40:40.77 Thank you. 00:40:41.30\00:40:41.60 Did anyone else have a thought? 00:40:42.00\00:40:43.07 I thought it was amazing how you know, God gave you courage 00:40:44.27\00:40:47.54 and living with your husband for 33 years. 00:40:47.54\00:40:49.64 So that's like more than half your life. 00:40:49.64\00:40:52.21 It was like and everything you knew. 00:40:52.25\00:40:54.48 Yeah. 00:40:54.72\00:40:55.22 And we grew up together. 00:40:55.28\00:40:56.12 And everything you've learned. 00:40:56.95\00:40:58.79 Yeah. 00:40:59.15\00:40:59.52 So it took time. 00:41:01.06\00:41:02.29 It wasn't something that happened overnight, but it took 00:41:02.46\00:41:05.33 time for me to settle into my new role as a single mom and as 00:41:05.33\00:41:10.00 an unmarried woman. 00:41:10.00\00:41:11.00 I still have times that I miss him. 00:41:11.33\00:41:13.30 But something the Lord has been showing me lately is that 00:41:13.64\00:41:16.34 everything is for a season. 00:41:16.34\00:41:17.51 Yes. 00:41:17.67\00:41:21.98 and verses 1 and then 11. 00:41:21.98\00:41:24.58 So Ecclesiastes 3 verses 1 and 11. 00:41:24.68\00:41:27.05 And the Bible says to everything, there's a season, a 00:41:27.52\00:41:31.35 time for every purpose under heaven. 00:41:31.35\00:41:33.56 I love verse 11 because it says he has made everything 00:41:34.09\00:41:37.76 beautiful in its time. 00:41:37.76\00:41:39.73 Also, he has put eternity in our hearts, except that no one 00:41:40.33\00:41:45.07 can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. 00:41:45.07\00:41:48.04 But what I just want to point out is yes, everything is for a 00:41:48.04\00:41:50.91 season. 00:41:50.91\00:41:53.98 Now I have a season of the privilege of raising my 00:41:54.01\00:41:56.68 granddaughters. 00:41:56.68\00:42:00.28 like this. 00:42:00.28\00:42:01.05 And it's just a beautiful thing. 00:42:01.05\00:42:02.28 But what I wanted to point out in verse 11 is that he's made 00:42:02.55\00:42:05.75 everything beautiful in its time. 00:42:05.75\00:42:07.69 And sometimes we want to rush things. 00:42:08.22\00:42:09.56 So if you're going through a time right now where you're 00:42:09.56\00:42:09.59 grieving the loss of your husband, just know that this 00:42:12.39\00:42:14.73 too shall pass. 00:42:14.73\00:42:18.90 or forget about him because that won't happen, but you will 00:42:18.90\00:42:22.77 get better. 00:42:22.77\00:42:23.44 So just hold on to the Lord. 00:42:23.64\00:42:25.24 And when it says that he has put eternity in our hearts, we 00:42:25.61\00:42:29.51 can look past the here and now to the season that we're in and 00:42:29.51\00:42:32.45 know that God has a greater plan for us. 00:42:32.45\00:42:35.05 And he has given us eternal life through his son. 00:42:35.32\00:42:37.92 And so we can hold on to that as our blessed hope. 00:42:37.92\00:42:40.72 So we need to look past our present circumstances. 00:42:41.46\00:42:44.69 And what I love about the life of Jesus is that he lived in an 00:42:44.69\00:42:48.80 atmosphere of heaven. 00:42:48.80\00:42:49.90 Even though he was surrounded by people that were finding 00:42:50.47\00:42:52.83 fault with him and persecuting him, he still kept his peace 00:42:52.83\00:42:57.71 about him. 00:42:57.71\00:42:58.51 And I love Hebrews 12 verses 1 through 3. 00:42:58.84\00:43:02.41 It says that therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so 00:43:02.41\00:43:07.35 great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and 00:43:07.35\00:43:11.49 the sin which does so easily beset us and let us run with 00:43:11.49\00:43:15.12 endurance the race that is set before us. 00:43:15.12\00:43:18.29 Now, how do we run with endurance? 00:43:18.29\00:43:19.73 The Bible tells us looking unto Jesus, the author and the 00:43:20.46\00:43:24.87 finisher of our faith. 00:43:24.87\00:43:25.93 And here's the example that Jesus gave us. 00:43:25.93\00:43:28.44 It says, 00:43:28.64\00:43:28.94 And so Jesus was able to endure the cross because he was 00:43:37.68\00:43:41.48 looking at the joy that was set before him. 00:43:41.48\00:43:43.39 He was looking at the souls that would be saved as a result 00:43:43.62\00:43:46.42 of his sacrifice. 00:43:46.42\00:43:47.62 And so my sisters out there listening to the conversation 00:43:47.62\00:43:51.46 today, just know that you can dwell in the presence of God 00:43:51.46\00:43:55.90 each day. 00:43:55.90\00:43:56.53 You don't have to wait just for the coming of Christ. 00:43:57.00\00:43:59.23 You can dwell in his presence today knowing that he has 00:43:59.57\00:44:02.94 promised you eternal life and you can live in that joy now. 00:44:02.94\00:44:05.97 And like I said, I do miss my husband, but knowing that he 00:44:06.71\00:44:11.15 died in Christ, I have that hope of seeing him again. 00:44:11.15\00:44:14.48 And I know right after he died, 1 Thessalonians chapter 4 just 00:44:14.48\00:44:19.22 really came alive to me where it says, The Lord himself shall 00:44:19.22\00:44:21.82 descend from heaven with a shout with the voice of the 00:44:21.82\00:44:23.96 archangel and with the trump of God and the dead in Christ 00:44:23.96\00:44:26.66 shall rise first. 00:44:26.66\00:44:27.60 And I got so excited and I'm like, OK, I'm going to see him 00:44:28.13\00:44:30.83 again. 00:44:30.83\00:44:35.84 because he said, you know what, your husband didn't die for 00:44:35.84\00:44:38.31 you. 00:44:38.31\00:44:42.08 Christ before he died? 00:44:42.08\00:44:44.31 And so it's not that he was rebuking me for being excited 00:44:44.58\00:44:47.22 to see my husband, but more so to be excited to see the face 00:44:47.22\00:44:51.19 of our Redeemer. 00:44:51.19\00:44:52.15 And so the last thing that I really want to share is that 00:44:52.85\00:44:56.89 God can do a new thing in your life. 00:44:56.89\00:44:58.59 When you go through the seasons of life, when you've had 00:44:59.09\00:45:02.36 different experiences, no matter what you're going 00:45:02.36\00:45:06.53 through, God can bring you out of it. 00:45:06.53\00:45:08.40 And I love what he says in Isaiah 43, 18 and 19, Do not 00:45:08.40\00:45:13.54 remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. 00:45:13.54\00:45:17.45 Behold, I will do a new thing. 00:45:17.85\00:45:19.98 Now it shall spring forth. 00:45:20.45\00:45:21.95 Shall you not know it? 00:45:22.05\00:45:23.15 I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the 00:45:23.59\00:45:27.72 desert. 00:45:27.72\00:45:31.43 matter what you're going through, God can do a new 00:45:31.43\00:45:33.23 thing. 00:45:33.23\00:45:36.10 to him in prayer. 00:45:36.10\00:45:37.07 And he hears you. 00:45:37.37\00:45:38.93 And so I have the testimony now that God has done a new thing. 00:45:39.23\00:45:42.64 After my husband died and I ended up having my two 00:45:43.81\00:45:46.71 grandchildren, the Lord was putting a heavy burden on my 00:45:46.71\00:45:49.88 heart that I needed to raise those kids in a different 00:45:49.88\00:45:52.28 atmosphere. 00:45:52.28\00:45:56.85 System. 00:45:56.85\00:45:57.69 And I was working in their maintenance department as a 00:45:58.02\00:46:00.12 senior bookkeeper. 00:46:00.12\00:46:03.53 my window in my office and saying, Lord, I just need 00:46:03.53\00:46:07.66 something different. 00:46:07.66\00:46:08.73 If you don't get me out of here, I just don't know what's 00:46:08.83\00:46:10.43 going to happen. 00:46:10.43\00:46:11.27 And so I just had this heavy burden to move away. 00:46:11.50\00:46:14.64 And I started looking online for different places that I 00:46:14.67\00:46:17.57 could move to. 00:46:17.57\00:46:18.77 And the last place on earth I ever thought I would move to 00:46:18.77\00:46:21.44 would be Thompsonville, Illinois. 00:46:21.44\00:46:22.98 But God brought me here. 00:46:24.48\00:46:26.11 And so through a course of events, I moved my girls 1,100 00:46:26.15\00:46:29.72 miles away. 00:46:29.72\00:46:30.49 Was it easy? 00:46:31.39\00:46:32.15 No, it was not. 00:46:32.15\00:46:32.19 And I just remember after I made an offer on a home here 00:46:33.66\00:46:36.46 that I had not seen, by the way, which people at home are 00:46:36.46\00:46:38.86 probably going to say, are you crazy? 00:46:38.86\00:46:40.13 You bought a house you didn't see. 00:46:40.30\00:46:41.60 But I said to the Lord, Lord, if this is really what you want 00:46:42.20\00:46:45.77 me to do, you're going to have to give me faith. 00:46:45.77\00:46:47.64 And you're going to have to give me the courage to do this. 00:46:47.64\00:46:50.54 Because, mind you, my sisters, you need to know that when I 00:46:50.84\00:46:54.08 first gave my heart to Christ, I was afraid to go out of the 00:46:54.08\00:46:56.88 house at night by myself. 00:46:56.88\00:46:57.98 I married my husband at 18 years old. 00:46:58.08\00:46:59.91 He took me everywhere. 00:46:59.91\00:47:00.88 I didn't drive at night. 00:47:01.22\00:47:02.45 So to pack up a six by 12 U -Haul and two little girls and 00:47:02.68\00:47:06.79 drive 1,100 miles by myself and even through the Smoky 00:47:06.79\00:47:10.33 Mountains because we took a little detour to go to the camp 00:47:10.33\00:47:12.63 meeting in North Carolina, that was an amazing feat of God. 00:47:12.63\00:47:15.53 It wasn't me. 00:47:15.53\00:47:16.63 But anyway, the Lord brought me here and I have a wonderful 00:47:17.67\00:47:20.57 church family. 00:47:20.57\00:47:21.74 I have a wonderful 3ABN family. 00:47:21.77\00:47:23.77 And it's just been such a blessing. 00:47:24.07\00:47:25.61 God has done a new thing in my life. 00:47:25.77\00:47:28.71 And so my encouragement to those of you watching is that 00:47:28.84\00:47:33.25 God makes everything beautiful in His time. 00:47:33.25\00:47:36.45 You look past your present circumstances and hold on to 00:47:36.69\00:47:40.22 Him. 00:47:40.22\00:47:40.69 Don't let Him go. 00:47:40.69\00:47:45.13 way. 00:47:45.13\00:47:45.79 But Lord, I'm taking you at your word. 00:47:46.03\00:47:47.40 And just know that you're going to go through times. 00:47:47.73\00:47:50.07 I went through times where I was very bitter and things were 00:47:50.20\00:47:52.53 very dark. 00:47:52.53\00:47:53.37 But I just kept holding on to the Lord. 00:47:53.67\00:47:56.04 And it wasn't that I was faithful. 00:47:56.27\00:47:57.97 It was that God was faithful. 00:47:58.21\00:47:59.61 And now that I look back on my past journey, I can see that 00:47:59.64\00:48:03.85 His hand was always with me. 00:48:03.85\00:48:05.61 So just know that He's a loving God. 00:48:05.75\00:48:07.55 He loves you and you can trust Him. 00:48:07.88\00:48:10.59 Amen. 00:48:10.59\00:48:11.25 That's powerful. 00:48:11.65\00:48:12.22 Praise the Lord. 00:48:12.45\00:48:12.99 Makes my heart so happy. 00:48:12.99\00:48:13.02 Thank you for sharing that. 00:48:14.02\00:48:15.16 Yes! 00:48:15.59\00:48:16.06 Yes, Terri, yes! 00:48:16.12\00:48:17.19 I just think how God has handpicked each one of you and 00:48:17.29\00:48:21.10 our camera people and people at 3ABN to come here for such a 00:48:21.10\00:48:24.83 time as this. 00:48:24.83\00:48:25.93 You know, to be able to proclaim the gospel message. 00:48:25.97\00:48:27.90 We are sisters in Jesus. 00:48:28.04\00:48:29.30 I'm so grateful for that. 00:48:29.34\00:48:30.67 And God is your husband. 00:48:30.94\00:48:31.91 That's just a powerful testimony. 00:48:32.11\00:48:33.81 It encouraged my heart in our few moments here. 00:48:34.24\00:48:36.44 Just share just a little bit. 00:48:36.75\00:48:38.65 And then we'll have a time of prayer at the end. 00:48:38.65\00:48:40.75 I want to make sure we have that as well. 00:48:40.78\00:48:42.25 But just a little bit about when your spouse is in 00:48:42.28\00:48:45.92 ministry. 00:48:45.92\00:48:46.76 And when your spouse is in ministry, you're in ministry, 00:48:47.12\00:48:49.59 too. 00:48:49.82\00:48:50.13 That's just an automatic given. 00:48:50.53\00:48:51.99 But I have three keys to be a helpmate in ministry. 00:48:52.09\00:48:55.63 Key number one, be sold out for ministry yourself. 00:48:55.93\00:48:59.93 So very important. 00:49:00.47\00:49:01.90 You know, say your husband's a pastor and you're at home 00:49:02.47\00:49:06.64 saying, Well, why do you have to go visit so-and-so? 00:49:06.64\00:49:08.81 Well, why are you preparing sermons? 00:49:09.08\00:49:10.55 Why do you spend so much time at the church? 00:49:10.88\00:49:12.78 If you are, as the wife, sold out for ministry yourself, if 00:49:13.58\00:49:19.72 you know God, if you love God, then you will encourage your 00:49:19.72\00:49:25.03 husband in that ministry. 00:49:25.03\00:49:27.60 You know, sometimes we can just think about ourselves. 00:49:27.76\00:49:30.17 Sometimes we can be selfish, be sold out for ministry yourself. 00:49:30.37\00:49:35.20 Love God, love other people, seek to serve Jesus. 00:49:35.20\00:49:40.01 I remember a ministry spouse talking to me. 00:49:40.04\00:49:43.18 This was a few years ago. 00:49:43.18\00:49:43.21 And her husband's a leader in a ministry. 00:49:45.05\00:49:46.88 And she said, When they got married, they were on their 00:49:47.35\00:49:51.09 honeymoon. 00:49:51.09\00:49:51.89 And he said, Let's go visit this project that the ministry 00:49:52.32\00:49:55.99 was associated with. 00:49:55.99\00:49:57.09 And she said, Honey, we're on our honeymoon. 00:49:57.19\00:49:59.43 You know, this is us time. 00:50:00.23\00:50:01.70 This is whatever. 00:50:01.96\00:50:03.10 And he said, Oh, but we got to see the progress of the 00:50:03.10\00:50:06.27 project. 00:50:06.27\00:50:06.94 We need to see what's happening. 00:50:07.07\00:50:08.27 She said, I learned right then, Jill. 00:50:08.64\00:50:10.77 I need to give up my selfishness and myself. 00:50:11.34\00:50:16.68 And I need to be able to think of things beyond me and things 00:50:16.78\00:50:21.78 beyond the marriage. 00:50:21.78\00:50:23.02 And so that's a beautiful thing. 00:50:23.35\00:50:25.15 Be sold out for ministry yourself. 00:50:25.35\00:50:28.09 And that leads us to key number two, be balanced. 00:50:28.36\00:50:31.39 It's so important because we could overbalance that and we 00:50:31.39\00:50:37.27 could always give and always serve others and never make 00:50:37.27\00:50:42.44 time for your own walk with Jesus. 00:50:42.44\00:50:44.51 Never make time for your own relationship with your spouse. 00:50:45.34\00:50:49.84 So there's a balance in that. 00:50:50.28\00:50:52.08 Yes, we don't want to be selfish because ministry is 00:50:52.18\00:50:54.92 about serving other people. 00:50:54.92\00:50:56.12 Ministry here at 3ABN is about proclaiming the gospel. 00:50:56.22\00:50:59.32 But at the same time, you can't give what you don't have 00:50:59.32\00:51:02.09 inside. 00:51:02.09\00:51:02.82 And so if you don't have your own time with Jesus, if you 00:51:03.32\00:51:08.20 don't do that, if you don't take time as a marriage with 00:51:08.20\00:51:12.73 your relationship, that's important too. 00:51:12.73\00:51:15.67 So that's kind of boundaries around the marriage and around 00:51:15.94\00:51:19.04 the relationship. 00:51:19.04\00:51:19.84 For Greg and I, that boundary is suppertime for us. 00:51:20.44\00:51:25.28 So ministry here is 24-7. 00:51:26.11\00:51:28.32 And middle of the night, we have phone calls. 00:51:29.62\00:51:32.42 It's constant. 00:51:32.82\00:51:33.86 It never goes away. 00:51:33.96\00:51:35.12 And so for us, we put our phones aside and we won't pick 00:51:35.76\00:51:40.00 up a text. 00:51:40.00\00:51:40.70 We won't answer the phone. 00:51:40.73\00:51:42.10 And it's just he and I to talk and have that time together. 00:51:42.26\00:51:45.53 It's so vitally important. 00:51:45.87\00:51:47.24 As we look at, yes, we want to serve others. 00:51:48.00\00:51:50.61 And yes, we need to be sold out for ministry. 00:51:50.71\00:51:52.77 But you need balance in that and have time for your own walk 00:51:52.77\00:51:57.35 with God and your own relationship. 00:51:57.35\00:51:59.38 Number three, be an example. 00:52:00.35\00:52:03.49 You know, like it or not, when you're in ministry, people 00:52:04.49\00:52:07.59 look. 00:52:07.59\00:52:08.12 People say, oh, well, is this the way to do it? 00:52:08.66\00:52:12.09 Or is this, oh, I didn't recognize. 00:52:12.09\00:52:13.96 You know, you look at other people. 00:52:14.50\00:52:16.00 Are they a true Christian or are they hypocritical? 00:52:16.33\00:52:19.13 Are they fake? 00:52:19.33\00:52:20.40 Are they real? 00:52:20.40\00:52:21.40 I'll never forget. 00:52:23.04\00:52:24.31 We were at it was camp meeting here, 3 p.m. 00:52:24.67\00:52:28.11 And a man came up and he said, my wife always says you can 00:52:28.11\00:52:31.51 tell the health of a marriage by watching the wife. 00:52:31.51\00:52:34.58 Now, that's an interesting comment. 00:52:35.52\00:52:37.02 And he said, you can tell the health of a marriage. 00:52:37.22\00:52:39.35 Just look at the wife. 00:52:39.45\00:52:40.26 Is she free? 00:52:40.76\00:52:42.26 Does she have joy? 00:52:42.46\00:52:44.16 Does she seek to serve? 00:52:44.63\00:52:46.86 And when you look at that, it gives an indication of what's 00:52:46.86\00:52:50.90 actually happening behind closed doors, you know, in that 00:52:50.90\00:52:53.64 relationship. 00:52:53.64\00:52:58.71 ministry and be balanced. 00:52:58.71\00:53:00.08 Be an example. 00:53:00.24\00:53:00.64 Be prayerful. 00:53:00.68\00:53:01.78 Pray for your spouse when they're involved in ministry. 00:53:01.88\00:53:05.28 Be real, be authentic. 00:53:05.61\00:53:07.15 Don't be afraid to be honest about your own battles and 00:53:08.02\00:53:11.95 struggles because we can share together and encourage each 00:53:11.95\00:53:15.46 other as well. 00:53:15.46\00:53:16.69 The last thing I want to touch on before a time of prayer is 00:53:16.69\00:53:21.23 leading with spiritual gifts yourself because sometimes your 00:53:21.23\00:53:25.73 spouse can be involved in ministry and you say, well, my 00:53:25.73\00:53:28.74 role is just to sit here and I'm going to pray and do my 00:53:28.74\00:53:32.64 thing. 00:53:32.64\00:53:36.58 Greg and I, it's interesting. 00:53:37.25\00:53:39.25 We don't really have time to unpack this, but in marriage or 00:53:39.28\00:53:44.12 I should back up from a woman's perspective. 00:53:44.12\00:53:47.99 I used to think, okay, the gifts of a woman are to have 00:53:48.26\00:53:52.39 grace and humility and serve and compassion and nurturing. 00:53:52.39\00:53:58.37 But what about teaching? 00:53:59.53\00:54:00.74 What about sharing the word? 00:54:01.34\00:54:02.60 And I used to think, well, maybe I'm not supposed to do 00:54:03.00\00:54:05.67 that, but I love to study the word and I love to read the 00:54:05.67\00:54:09.64 word. 00:54:09.64\00:54:13.58 would say, don't you want to teach Sabbath school? 00:54:13.58\00:54:15.68 Because then we can teach together. 00:54:15.78\00:54:16.99 This was years ago because I thought, well, maybe I 00:54:17.05\00:54:20.09 shouldn't be the one teaching and my husband should be the 00:54:20.09\00:54:22.22 one doing that and I shouldn't be doing that. 00:54:22.22\00:54:24.66 And he would say, okay, Julie. 00:54:24.83\00:54:26.73 And so he would prepare and we would team teach together. 00:54:27.23\00:54:30.23 And then he said, Julie, why don't you share what God has 00:54:31.20\00:54:35.50 given you? 00:54:35.50\00:54:36.10 Why don't you step forward in that? 00:54:36.57\00:54:39.07 Now, I'm not ordained. 00:54:39.44\00:54:41.21 We're not stepping over into, you know, I'm not a pastor, 00:54:41.21\00:54:44.41 nothing like that. 00:54:44.58\00:54:45.61 But we do women's events and conferences. 00:54:45.88\00:54:49.22 And Greg always says, Jill, I love to sit back and watch you 00:54:49.35\00:54:52.65 share and operate in what God has given to you. 00:54:52.65\00:54:55.69 So that means as women, if God has given you spiritual gifts, 00:54:56.29\00:55:00.70 operate within the gifts that God has given to you. 00:55:01.50\00:55:06.13 I think of Deborah in the Old Testament. 00:55:06.47\00:55:08.14 She was a judge and she was a prophetess. 00:55:08.20\00:55:11.14 And she led the woman in battle. 00:55:11.14\00:55:13.31 Now, that's incredible. 00:55:13.34\00:55:14.61 You could spend a long time on that. 00:55:14.61\00:55:14.64 But operate within the gifts that God has given to you. 00:55:16.95\00:55:21.18 We're at the end of our time. 00:55:21.58\00:55:22.45 I can't believe it. 00:55:22.55\00:55:23.49 Thank you for being our family. 00:55:23.69\00:55:25.15 Know that we love you and pray for you. 00:55:25.45\00:55:27.26 And let's have some time of prayer. 00:55:27.26\00:55:27.29 Sasha, you want to pray for us and pray for our sisters at 00:55:30.03\00:55:33.29 home and maybe the battles and things that they're dealing 00:55:33.29\00:55:35.43 with. 00:55:35.43\00:55:35.80 Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this time that we have 00:55:36.93\00:55:39.60 had together to discuss you and how you can help us in our 00:55:39.60\00:55:42.94 roles as a helpmate in our various areas. 00:55:42.94\00:55:46.57 We pray for each woman that is listening. 00:55:47.14\00:55:49.08 We have single moms. 00:55:49.28\00:55:50.28 We have moms who may be battling depression. 00:55:50.51\00:55:52.01 We have women who are in ministry. 00:55:52.98\00:55:56.05 We have women who may be taken on the role of a mother who are 00:55:56.25\00:56:01.06 grandmothers. 00:56:01.06\00:56:01.69 We have women who are single mothers. 00:56:02.49\00:56:05.03 We pray for each and every situation that you will be by 00:56:05.03\00:56:07.86 them. 00:56:07.86\00:56:08.36 Come in every household. 00:56:08.66\00:56:10.13 We pray that each household will seek after you and any 00:56:10.97\00:56:14.97 struggles that they may be going through. 00:56:14.97\00:56:16.37 We pray that you would help them. 00:56:16.57\00:56:17.64 You said, Lord, that our homes can be a little heaven on earth 00:56:18.14\00:56:21.08 whether we're a single mother household or a married 00:56:21.08\00:56:23.65 household or household with children. 00:56:23.65\00:56:25.25 And so we ask that you would help us to look to you for that 00:56:25.68\00:56:28.78 strength. 00:56:28.78\00:56:29.45 Look to you to be our burden bearer when we feel 00:56:29.85\00:56:32.49 overwhelmed. 00:56:32.49\00:56:37.09 you care for us as mothers, as women, and as wives. 00:56:37.09\00:56:41.33 We pray that every listener will be blessed by this program 00:56:41.76\00:56:46.33 and that we will also take a hold of this blessing, take the 00:56:46.33\00:56:49.97 things that we have learned here and go on to make our 00:56:49.97\00:56:52.77 homes a little heaven on earth as we seek that better home, a 00:56:52.77\00:56:56.31 heaven up with you. 00:56:56.31\00:56:57.18 In Jesus' name we pray. 00:56:57.31\00:56:58.21 Amen. 00:56:58.25\00:56:58.61 Sasha, Fotini, Terri, and Angela, thank you for being 00:56:59.41\00:57:02.28 sisters in Jesus, for sharing tonight, and we thank you for 00:57:02.28\00:57:05.69 joining us as well. 00:57:05.69\00:57:06.89 We will see you next time. 00:57:07.16\00:57:08.82