.
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I want to spend my
life mending broken people.
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I want to spend my life.
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I want to spend my life.
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Mending broken.
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I want to spend my life.
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Hello, family.
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I'm Jill Morikone.
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We welcome you to our
Thursday Night Live program.
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Now, you might have seen on the
jib shot coming in here, we're
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not around the island,
as we call it, in Studio A.
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We're in Studio B
tonight because I'm here with my
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sisters, and tonight is
our Women's Live program.
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We're coming up this weekend
as Mother's Day, and we always
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like to do something extra
special for all of our sisters
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at home.
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And if you're a man, this
program might apply to you
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because, Lord willing,
you would be interacting with
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women.
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it's always better for
that understanding as well.
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But this program tonight is
especially for the ladies, for
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our sisters.
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And if you're a man,
you're welcome to listen in, but
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especially it's for the woman.
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Our title is Helper, Not
Lesser, God's Purpose for
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Woman.
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So we're going to be
talking tonight about biblical
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definition of a helpmate.
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What does that look like in the
life of marriage or family, or
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what if you're single?
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What does that look like in the
job, in the church, when you're
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mentoring others?
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And do we lose our identity
when we become a helpmate?
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Can we still have spiritual
gifts that God has given to us
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to utilize?
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And how do we balance
family and work and all of that?
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So we're going
to pack all of that.
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I want to introduce you to
my family, my sisters on the set
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here this evening.
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To my left, sis
Angela Vander Valk.
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And you work in our
production department.
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So glad to have you here.
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I'm so happy to be here
with my sisters in Christ.
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Thank you for having me.
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Amen.
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Now, you and you've
been here over four years.
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Yeah, by fast.
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God called you guys here.
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Not a doubt in our mind.
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And it's kind of the
whole tribe moved up.
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Yes, that was a blessing.
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And my mom, my
sister, my family, everyone.
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It's a blessing.
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Amen.
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And then God made us family.
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Yes, which is a beautiful thing.
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You know, we can
be sisters in Jesus.
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Now we're jumping over
here to Sister Fotini Martinez.
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And we're so
glad to have you here.
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Sister Fotini works in
our accounting department.
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You might not always see her,
but she's accounts receivable
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and accounting analyst.
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Is that right?
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Yes.
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Yes, that is.
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Thank you very much, Jill.
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I'm really excited to be here.
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This is my first program.
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And I hope it doesn't
show that I'm too nervous.
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But I'm very excited to see
what God will do through this
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program today.
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Amen.
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Each one of the women here on
the set tonight, they're women
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of God, women of faith, women
of prayer, and women of the
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word.
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And Fotini, when did you come?
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How long have you been here?
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In September, it'll be about
two years for my daughter and
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myself.
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Okay.
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Wonderful.
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And we should
have said this before.
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Angela, what's
your topic tonight?
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What are you
talking about specifically?
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It's about marriage.
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It's about your husband and
supporting your husband, being
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that helpmate for your husband.
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Okay, so if you're a wife,
you've got to especially listen
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to Angela's portion.
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Yes.
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I am speaking of biblical
womanhood as a single woman, as
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a single parent, and blending
in some aspects of being the
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spiritual household of
not only your child, but also
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specifically to a special needs
child, because my daughter has
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autism.
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Okay, that'll be so insightful.
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Thank you for
being willing to share.
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And I know we have many single
moms out there, many single
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parents who can really resonate
and identify with what Fotini
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is going to be sharing tonight.
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This is Sasha Thomas,
you and your husband Darrell.
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Now, you work for us sometimes
at 3ABN, but you're the
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administrative assistant
for the Thompsonville Christian
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Junior Academy.
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I hope I got that right.
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Yeah.
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That's It'll be
four years in November.
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Yeah, it's
really been a pleasure.
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Never imagined
that we would be here.
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Never imagined I would be
sitting next to Joe Morricone
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and these lovely ladies,
but it's really been a pleasure.
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Amen.
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Amen.
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So glad to have you.
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And what are you talking about?
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What's you're talking about?
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how that can relate to the
husband and, you know, without
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overstepping bounds.
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So looking forward to that.
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Amen.
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Yes, two children, one ten
and one going seven next week.
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Yay.
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That's wonderful.
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Last but not least in the
middle, we have sister Terri
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Stanley and Terri
is a woman of God.
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You have a lot of titles here.
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I'm trying to think of
everything she does because she
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works in several different
departments, but you work as a
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3ABN call center representative.
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She also answers
calls and pastoral.
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You help in production and
she's radio host for a brand
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new program on prayer that will
be coming out for 3ABN radio.
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So Terri, we're
so glad you're here.
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Jill, thank you for inviting me.
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I'm so happy to be here and
be a part of this discussion
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tonight.
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we become a widow and
specifically how we can become
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mentors to the younger women.
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Yeah, that's powerful.
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We need mentors.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And what I'm talking about,
I've got to look and see what
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am I talking about?
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Ah, the role of a
helpmate in ministry.
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What about if your spouse is
involved in ministry and what
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does that look like?
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And we're going
to have three keys.
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You know, I like lists.
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Three keys for the
helpmate in ministry.
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So before we jump in and kind
of unpack this and talk more,
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we want to go to
the Lord in prayer.
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We want any time when we
open up the word of God, it's
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important to pray.
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And Foltini,
would you pray for us?
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Dear Heavenly Father, Lord, we
thank you for all the ways that
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you care for us, all the ways
that you provide for us, that
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being both in physical
nourishment or clothing or
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homes.
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and give us courage to fill
the roles that you have for us.
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And we pray that blessing over
today's Lord, we pray that you
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calm our nerves.
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We pray that you help us to
fall into the background, Lord,
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and stay focused
on you and your word.
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And we pray, Lord, that this
is a blessing to those watching,
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but also for us as
well, Lord, help us grow.
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And we pray this
in the name of Jesus.
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Amen.
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Amen.
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I love something you said
in the prayer, help us grow.
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You know, that's beautiful,
you know, and I think as we are
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here tonight, we want to be
open and transparent about our
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own journeys.
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And we want to grow in the word
and knowledge and as Christian
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women.
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So let's just start.
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What is a biblical
definition of a help me?
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What does a help me mean?
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And where do we
get that in Scripture?
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Well, we can start with Genesis
2 18, which says, And the Lord
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God said, it is not good
that man should be alone.
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I will make him a
helper comparable to him.
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So you're a helper to your
husband, not as a lesser, like
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you said, but someone who helps
him to fulfill his role and he
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should help you to
fulfill your role too.
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I love that.
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I love that someone
to stand by their side.
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And I'm no longer married.
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I was married for 33 years,
but my husband and I had a
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beautiful relationship and we
had our responsibilities in the
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home.
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together to make things smooth.
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So yeah, a help mate to me
is when times are hard, your
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husband's there to help you
and just lift each other up to
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bring, you know, encourage
each other, help each other and
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whatever life throws at you,
you have someone next to you by
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your side, which I'm
missing my help mate right now.
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If I'm on, I'm with Ian.
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So I usually miss him because
he always, he helped me when
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I'm on programs.
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So I miss him.
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Biblically, how I
would understand that is also
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providing help and support in a
way that the other person can't
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do for themselves.
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Otherwise you're not helping
really if it's something that
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they can do on their own.
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So comparable to Adam, yes,
because they were both created
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in God's image, right?
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So you can definitely see
equality running throughout
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that as a golden thread, but
also providing support and help
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something that's missing,
that's lacking in the man where
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the woman needs to fill
in that role as a helper.
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That's beautiful.
00:10:15.78\00:10:16.58
You know, in Genesis, God says,
let us make man in our image,
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right?
00:10:21.18\00:10:25.12
How do you think marriage gives
us that showcases or analogy of
00:10:25.32\00:10:31.46
the Godhead?
00:10:31.46\00:10:32.06
Do you see that or not?
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Definitely yes.
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I'd have to, I'm giving
it some thought as I speak.
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Good.
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Well, as I was stating about
my husband and I, each member of
00:10:46.91\00:10:50.31
the Godhead has its specific
role, has his specific role.
00:10:50.31\00:10:55.48
The Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit.
00:10:55.48\00:10:58.72
But their goal and their
purpose in life is the same.
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It's like when you're
married, you have the same goal.
00:11:05.49\00:11:07.96
You can go up with
Christ as he's the head.
00:11:08.06\00:11:11.17
We serve a God of order, right?
00:11:14.34\00:11:16.94
So naturally there should
be, or it could be expected that
00:11:16.94\00:11:20.68
also the family unit has a
particular order that helps it
00:11:20.68\00:11:24.58
function its best.
00:11:24.58\00:11:25.75
And that would be the
wife being a help mate.
00:11:26.21\00:11:29.18
And the other thing that comes
to my mind about the Godhead is
00:11:30.62\00:11:32.99
they're not
focused on themselves.
00:11:32.99\00:11:34.62
Christ points to the Father,
the Father points to the Son,
00:11:35.29\00:11:38.16
the Holy Spirit points
to the Son and the Father.
00:11:38.23\00:11:40.76
So it's lifting each other
up rather than having that self
00:11:42.03\00:11:46.07
-focus.
00:11:46.07\00:11:46.57
That's beautiful.
00:11:47.50\00:11:48.14
It reminds me of Ephesians 5.
00:11:48.20\00:11:49.70
You know Ephesians 5 says the
husband should love the wife as
00:11:49.97\00:11:53.31
Christ loves the church.
00:11:53.31\00:11:54.38
And then it says the wife
needs to submit to the husband.
00:11:54.48\00:11:58.41
But if you go back a couple
of verses, Ephesians 5.21 says
00:11:59.25\00:12:02.72
submitting to one
another in the fear of the Lord.
00:12:02.72\00:12:05.12
So what does that look like?
00:12:05.65\00:12:07.62
Because some people say the
husband is always the top and
00:12:07.79\00:12:11.59
the wife can never
even express a viewpoint.
00:12:11.59\00:12:14.56
Is that what we're
saying here tonight?
00:12:14.86\00:12:16.36
Or what does that look like?
00:12:16.73\00:12:18.17
My testimony as far as marriage
goes is that the best ideal
00:12:19.97\00:12:24.51
marriage is when Christ is
at the center of the marriage.
00:12:24.51\00:12:26.84
Because when my husband and I
got married, I was very young.
00:12:27.48\00:12:29.61
I was only 18 years old and
neither one of us were walking
00:12:29.61\00:12:29.64
with the Lord.
00:12:33.31\00:12:33.92
We were doing the party thing.
00:12:34.02\00:12:35.32
We had a great relationship
but I realized something was
00:12:35.68\00:12:39.19
missing and then I decided, you
know, I need to have God in my
00:12:39.19\00:12:43.32
life.
00:12:43.32\00:12:46.13
through a time period where
I was walking with the Lord but
00:12:46.13\00:12:49.13
he was still in the world.
00:12:49.13\00:12:50.23
That was a very
strange relationship.
00:12:50.23\00:12:52.53
Prayed for him for about three
and a half years and then he
00:12:53.37\00:12:56.00
gave his heart to Christ and
became grounded in the gospel
00:12:56.00\00:12:59.87
of Jesus.
00:12:59.87\00:13:00.64
And that was the best part
of our marriage ever because we
00:13:01.18\00:13:03.88
spent time in prayer.
00:13:03.88\00:13:04.95
When we had questions about
anything we were going through,
00:13:05.18\00:13:07.85
we would go to the Lord
in prayer and that was the
00:13:07.85\00:13:10.72
sweetest relationship that
we experienced in our marriage.
00:13:10.72\00:13:14.59
I like that you
brought up Ephesians 525.
00:13:16.66\00:13:19.29
That was something that came
to my mind as well because it
00:13:19.29\00:13:23.57
explains the role
of the husband as well.
00:13:23.57\00:13:25.77
When we think of submission and
I speak Greek and I don't know
00:13:25.97\00:13:30.14
if I'm pronouncing this the
same way that university Greek
00:13:30.14\00:13:33.51
would sound but submission
is actually a military term in
00:13:33.51\00:13:38.58
Greek.
00:13:38.58\00:13:38.85
And it's a voluntary act
of putting yourself under
00:13:41.15\00:13:46.72
leadership.
00:13:46.72\00:13:47.86
Right?
00:13:48.36\00:13:48.92
So it's not becoming a doormat
because the leader obviously
00:13:49.59\00:13:52.59
has a role or a goal
that he's trying to fulfill.
00:13:52.59\00:13:55.80
And we need to think of well
what is the mission that I'm
00:13:56.63\00:14:00.40
supposed to be submitting to
and that's what God tells us in
00:14:00.40\00:14:03.47
Ephesians 525.
00:14:03.47\00:14:04.87
The man's mission is or the
husband's mission is to love
00:14:05.27\00:14:08.44
his wife the way love the
way Jesus loved the church.
00:14:08.44\00:14:11.91
And so we see this kind of
wonderful go around right where
00:14:12.05\00:14:17.12
the wife is submitted and
she's submitted to the husband's
00:14:17.12\00:14:21.79
mission which is to love her
and then it kind of goes around
00:14:21.79\00:14:24.99
like that and that's just
a beautiful way that the Lord
00:14:24.99\00:14:28.50
illustrates that
for us in his word.
00:14:28.50\00:14:30.57
Yeah, it's beautiful.
00:14:31.10\00:14:35.77
is under him have to say.
00:14:35.77\00:14:37.74
So a good husband will listen
to and care about the viewpoint
00:14:38.01\00:14:40.81
of his wife and not try to
force his viewpoint into the
00:14:40.81\00:14:44.81
relationship.
00:14:44.81\00:14:45.38
I love that.
00:14:46.38\00:14:49.92
wife's aspect does this mean
since the husband is the head
00:14:49.92\00:14:53.99
we're talking in marriage
here does that mean that if you
00:14:53.99\00:14:57.76
disagree on something the
husband is the tiebreaker?
00:14:57.76\00:15:00.80
In my house, yes.
00:15:01.80\00:15:03.37
Okay, see this is where...
00:15:04.33\00:15:06.00
Yes, because there was a
time in my life where I was a
00:15:06.50\00:15:10.47
spiritual leader and so
it depends on what it was.
00:15:10.47\00:15:14.48
So if it wasn't going against
God my husband had to last but
00:15:14.48\00:15:18.91
if it was going against
God then I had to step in and I
00:15:18.91\00:15:23.05
guess put my foot down
but since my husband's now the
00:15:23.05\00:15:26.25
leader of our home yes he's...
00:15:26.25\00:15:27.72
Daddy said it that's what it is.
00:15:28.86\00:15:30.66
And there are some things that
they just have more knowledge
00:15:31.09\00:15:34.03
about.
00:15:34.03\00:15:38.03
after he died I called his best
friend and I'm like I'm looking
00:15:38.03\00:15:40.70
at this vehicle can you
please come check it out?
00:15:40.70\00:15:42.77
So you have to realize that
we don't know everything and we
00:15:43.00\00:15:46.14
have to be able to surrender to
their knowledge that they know
00:15:46.14\00:15:51.18
what's best and so I think
it just depends again like you
00:15:51.18\00:15:54.78
said on the
situation and what it is.
00:15:54.78\00:15:56.58
Is that always
easy for you guys?
00:15:57.09\00:15:59.25
Okay.
00:15:59.52\00:15:59.82
I remember this is going back
several years but I remember
00:16:03.16\00:16:06.93
Greg and I having a discussion
on two different issues and we
00:16:06.93\00:16:10.77
disagreed on both of them and
I held one opinion on issue one
00:16:10.77\00:16:15.47
just say and he held an
opinion on issue two and we just
00:16:15.47\00:16:20.14
couldn't come to an agreement
and I remember he said we need
00:16:20.14\00:16:25.35
to pray about it.
00:16:25.35\00:16:26.45
That's beautiful and so when
I come to God in prayer the Holy
00:16:26.61\00:16:32.19
Spirit works to soften Jill's
pride and Jill's stubbornness
00:16:32.19\00:16:35.86
and my all of that that's not
godly and so we prayed said we
00:16:35.86\00:16:41.56
need to pray individually first
and we took 24 hours that we
00:16:41.56\00:16:44.70
would just really pray
over this and then we would come
00:16:44.70\00:16:47.64
together and I'll never forget
so we had these two issues God
00:16:47.64\00:16:52.01
changed my mind on issue one to
Greg's viewpoint but issue two
00:16:52.01\00:16:57.05
in my mind still needed
to be the way I thought okay?
00:16:57.05\00:17:00.65
When we came back together and
I understand that the husband
00:17:01.65\00:17:04.55
is a tiebreaker as far as
that goes but in my heart I just
00:17:04.55\00:17:08.36
felt like it was wrong we
should do this other thing so
00:17:08.36\00:17:11.09
when we came back together
God changed Greg's mind on the
00:17:11.09\00:17:15.80
other issue where I was
inflexible if you call it that
00:17:15.80\00:17:18.97
and then he anyway so our two
I'm not explaining it well if I
00:17:18.97\00:17:24.07
told you the whole situation
then it would make sense in
00:17:24.07\00:17:26.57
fact we're not going into
that so but in issue one my mind
00:17:26.57\00:17:30.58
changed to Greg's viewpoint and
in issue two his mind changed
00:17:30.58\00:17:33.82
to my viewpoint that's what I'm
trying to say and so both of us
00:17:33.82\00:17:37.85
changed and adjusted But I
do think, as long as it's not a
00:17:37.85\00:17:41.89
matter of principle,
that the husband would be the
00:17:41.89\00:17:44.16
tiebreaker.
00:17:44.16\00:17:44.69
So, yeah, it was hard though.
00:17:44.86\00:17:45.96
I remember those 24 hours
like, Oh, please God, can you
00:17:45.99\00:17:49.16
convince my husband?
00:17:49.16\00:17:50.37
Just convince him, you know,
because we struggle with that.
00:17:50.80\00:17:53.87
And God said, Jill, I
want to work in your heart.
00:17:54.07\00:17:56.44
And over the years, you
know, I've encountered married
00:17:57.34\00:18:04.15
couples where the man
tends to be more mild-mannered.
00:18:04.15\00:18:07.65
And you see the woman just
takes advantage and walks all
00:18:07.65\00:18:11.02
over him.
00:18:11.02\00:18:14.52
know, just because your husband
is soft-spoken or something
00:18:14.52\00:18:17.83
like that doesn't give you
the permission and authority to
00:18:17.83\00:18:21.23
belittle him in public or
overstep your boundaries as a
00:18:21.23\00:18:25.00
wife as well.
00:18:25.00\00:18:25.53
You have to respect him.
00:18:25.53\00:18:26.70
And I think that's what
men want more than anything, is
00:18:26.70\00:18:29.34
just to know that
they're respected by their wife.
00:18:29.34\00:18:31.44
Absolutely.
00:18:33.07\00:18:33.58
That's good.
00:18:33.64\00:18:38.45
who are strong women of faith
and independent, that that's
00:18:38.45\00:18:42.45
important not to overstep,
you know, that's beautiful.
00:18:42.45\00:18:45.15
And it's a struggle to, even
with everyday interactions, to
00:18:45.82\00:18:50.99
give, and I understand that
women are not called to submit
00:18:50.99\00:18:54.46
to men in general,
it's wives to husbands.
00:18:54.46\00:18:56.63
But you still, as a single
person, want to practice that
00:18:56.63\00:19:01.14
in your life, kind of adapting
to a submissive role, because
00:19:01.14\00:19:07.11
we're called to do that over
a general ledger to begin with.
00:19:07.11\00:19:11.31
And it's hard sometimes,
especially when you're used to
00:19:12.01\00:19:15.35
making all of the decisions,
when all of the responsibility
00:19:15.35\00:19:18.79
lies on you.
00:19:18.79\00:19:19.72
So it's a good thing to keep
in the back of your mind to just
00:19:20.36\00:19:24.23
try and find that middle ground
with other individuals or other
00:19:24.23\00:19:29.86
men at church or elders, for
example, just to kind of have
00:19:29.86\00:19:35.67
the Lord work
on you in that way.
00:19:35.67\00:19:37.54
That's very respectful.
00:19:38.21\00:19:39.17
Oh, that's good.
00:19:39.97\00:19:40.58
Absolutely.
00:19:40.84\00:19:41.28
Yeah.
00:19:41.88\00:19:45.61
never seen before.
00:19:45.61\00:19:46.72
So I just wanted to share
briefly on the verse you read,
00:19:46.98\00:19:50.25
Sasha, where it says, So the
Hebrew word there for helper or
00:19:50.45\00:19:58.56
helpmate or whatever is azer.
00:19:58.56\00:20:03.16
I don't pronounce Hebrew,
but that's just my phonetic
00:20:03.40\00:20:06.94
definition.
00:20:06.94\00:20:08.10
It occurs 21 times in the Old
Testament, 15 of the 21 times
00:20:08.30\00:20:13.51
it's God being a helper.
00:20:13.51\00:20:15.11
Now that is super
fascinating to me.
00:20:15.94\00:20:19.75
It refers to, you know, in
Psalm 121, I will lift up my
00:20:20.42\00:20:24.09
eyes to the hills
from whence comes my help.
00:20:24.09\00:20:26.02
It's the same word.
00:20:26.09\00:20:26.69
Comes from Lord.
00:20:27.09\00:20:27.62
My help.
00:20:27.62\00:20:28.39
My help comes from the word.
00:20:28.62\00:20:30.19
Lord is the same word.
00:20:30.26\00:20:31.59
Psalm 70, it says, Lord,
you are my help and my deliver.
00:20:32.76\00:20:36.90
It's the same word.
00:20:36.97\00:20:38.07
So what was interesting to me,
the only two times it's applied
00:20:38.67\00:20:41.70
to women is
right here in Genesis.
00:20:41.70\00:20:43.27
The other times it was applied
to men or even in battle.
00:20:43.71\00:20:46.91
And then the rest is referring
to God and the help God brings.
00:20:46.91\00:20:51.51
So to me, and it's derived
from another Hebrew word, azer,
00:20:51.78\00:20:56.79
which is
pronounced very similarly.
00:20:56.85\00:20:58.42
And that one, the root of it
means to surround, to protect
00:20:58.65\00:21:04.16
or aid.
00:21:04.16\00:21:05.09
And so I was telling Greg
about it last night as we were
00:21:05.46\00:21:08.73
talking about it.
00:21:08.73\00:21:09.93
And I just said, I wonder if
that means God calls woman to
00:21:09.93\00:21:14.34
surround their
husband with prayer.
00:21:14.34\00:21:16.54
To surround them with
compassion and love, to
00:21:17.41\00:21:22.74
surround them with respect,
to surround them with, I don't
00:21:22.74\00:21:28.78
know, lifting them up
instead of tearing them down.
00:21:28.78\00:21:30.99
Like all those godly
things we talk about.
00:21:31.09\00:21:33.02
To me, it was a brand new
way of looking at it because we
00:21:33.19\00:21:37.33
often think, help me.
00:21:37.33\00:21:38.46
Okay, I'm just here
and I'm helping you here.
00:21:38.73\00:21:42.06
But God actually helps as well.
00:21:42.56\00:21:45.53
And I think of when you said
praying, I think of my husband,
00:21:46.20\00:21:50.11
like his family isn't
Christian or Adventist.
00:21:50.17\00:21:53.91
So I'm like, I have
to pray for my husband.
00:21:53.91\00:21:55.84
Who else is going
to pray for my husband?
00:21:55.91\00:21:57.71
So it's so important with
prayer, you know, how powerful
00:21:58.08\00:22:01.45
it is.
00:22:01.45\00:22:01.98
Prayer is so powerful.
00:22:01.98\00:22:03.05
I love that.
00:22:04.45\00:22:06.96
Any thoughts on
that before we move on?
00:22:07.02\00:22:08.56
Well, what came to my mind
is that God gave us the Holy
00:22:08.59\00:22:11.19
Spirit to be the helper and how
he guides us through our life
00:22:11.19\00:22:15.43
and corrects us
and that kind of thing.
00:22:15.43\00:22:16.97
And so as a helper to our
husband, you know, he can take
00:22:17.13\00:22:21.84
what we have to
say into consideration.
00:22:21.84\00:22:23.47
It can help guide him, too.
00:22:23.54\00:22:25.34
Amen.
00:22:25.87\00:22:26.41
And I think it speaks to the
strength of the helper as well,
00:22:27.08\00:22:30.98
because the same word, as you
brought out, is mentioned or is
00:22:31.05\00:22:35.78
used to describe our ultimate
helper, our ultimate guide,
00:22:35.78\00:22:39.72
both God and the Holy Spirit.
00:22:39.82\00:22:41.66
And you need to have a strong
biblical foundation in order to
00:22:42.69\00:22:47.66
do that.
00:22:47.66\00:22:52.07
to provide that support, both
for your family in general, if
00:22:52.07\00:22:56.17
you're, you know, a single mom
like I am, or for your husband.
00:22:56.17\00:22:59.77
Absolutely.
00:23:00.54\00:23:03.81
In relation to submitting, that
also requires strength because
00:23:04.51\00:23:07.78
it's so much easier to not
submit and just assert your
00:23:07.78\00:23:11.65
opinion.
00:23:11.65\00:23:15.59
submissive wife
that He calls you to be.
00:23:15.59\00:23:17.33
Yes.
00:23:18.06\00:23:18.49
No, that's a good point.
00:23:18.89\00:23:19.96
It takes a lot of strength.
00:23:20.26\00:23:21.23
Yeah, absolutely.
00:23:21.66\00:23:22.50
I love that.
00:23:23.37\00:23:23.87
Great insight, ladies.
00:23:24.10\00:23:25.10
So let's move in.
00:23:25.57\00:23:26.67
Angela, let's start with you.
00:23:26.87\00:23:28.04
Can you talk to us about
the role of a helpmate as a wife
00:23:28.04\00:23:31.24
and what God calls you?
00:23:31.24\00:23:33.01
Okay.
00:23:33.11\00:23:36.34
you want me to say?
00:23:36.34\00:23:37.38
I never know what to say.
00:23:37.98\00:23:39.48
So I was like, God.
00:23:39.75\00:23:40.55
So I was looking
through my Bible.
00:23:40.55\00:23:42.98
I was looking through Ellen
White and God put in my heart
00:23:43.02\00:23:45.72
to say this.
00:23:45.72\00:23:46.52
It's with a
Venice Homes, page 107.
00:23:46.52\00:23:49.02
It says, neither husband
nor wife is to make a plea for
00:23:49.22\00:23:52.73
rulership.
00:23:52.73\00:23:57.47
this matter.
00:23:57.47\00:24:03.94
church.
00:24:03.94\00:24:04.57
And the wife is to
respect and love her husband.
00:24:05.01\00:24:08.21
Both are to cultivate
the spirit of kindness, being
00:24:08.71\00:24:12.18
determined never to
grieve or injure the other.
00:24:12.18\00:24:14.85
Kind of like what
we were talking about.
00:24:15.15\00:24:16.75
It's beautiful.
00:24:17.15\00:24:17.79
Do not try to compel
each other to do as you wish.
00:24:18.19\00:24:21.12
You cannot do this and
retain each other's love.
00:24:21.56\00:24:24.69
Manifestations of self-will
destroy the peace and happiness
00:24:26.06\00:24:29.56
of the home.
00:24:29.56\00:24:30.30
Let not your marriage life, let
not your married life be one of
00:24:30.97\00:24:35.84
contention.
00:24:35.84\00:24:36.71
If you do, you
will be both be unhappy.
00:24:36.71\00:24:39.41
Be kind in speech
and gentle in action.
00:24:39.74\00:24:43.55
Give up your own wishes.
00:24:43.98\00:24:45.55
Watch well your words, watch
well your words for they have
00:24:46.15\00:24:50.02
powerful influence
for good or for ill.
00:24:50.02\00:24:52.72
Allow no sharpness to
come into your voices.
00:24:53.29\00:24:56.32
Bring into the unity life
of fragrance of Christ like
00:24:56.42\00:25:01.00
-listen, like-listeness,
Christ like-listeness.
00:25:01.00\00:25:04.50
Did I say that right?
00:25:04.73\00:25:07.14
-listeness.
00:25:07.14\00:25:07.40
Okay.
00:25:08.70\00:25:09.24
So I have, I came up with some
focus points from reading that.
00:25:11.07\00:25:14.98
And the first one was
no fighting for control.
00:25:15.04\00:25:17.38
Like marriage is a partnership,
not a power struggle.
00:25:17.91\00:25:21.35
Neither the husband nor the
wife should try to determine to
00:25:22.42\00:25:25.49
be the ruler or the
boss in the marriage.
00:25:25.49\00:25:27.66
And that's something
like we were talking about.
00:25:27.79\00:25:29.56
We need to lead in
love, respect each other.
00:25:29.66\00:25:32.59
And you know what that
makes me think of, Angel?
00:25:33.03\00:25:34.56
Is that God is
not a God of force.
00:25:34.63\00:25:36.20
He gives us free will.
00:25:36.40\00:25:38.07
And so in all our
relationships, we need to
00:25:38.27\00:25:40.47
respect the other
person's freedom of choice.
00:25:40.47\00:25:42.40
Yes, absolutely.
00:25:42.70\00:25:43.44
Yes.
00:25:45.07\00:25:49.41
before I was spiritual leader
in my home, when my husband
00:25:50.18\00:25:54.68
came, gave his heart to God,
it was hard for me to let go of
00:25:54.68\00:25:59.29
that, you know, you know,
before I was trying to make
00:25:59.29\00:26:02.72
sure the house and everything
we did was like to honor Christ
00:26:02.72\00:26:06.46
and then my husband was like,
you know, basically taking my
00:26:06.46\00:26:10.30
hand saying, you can let go now.
00:26:10.30\00:26:12.10
I got this.
00:26:12.13\00:26:13.13
And he would be
like, let's have worship.
00:26:13.20\00:26:14.67
And it's so nice when you
have a husband that leads and
00:26:14.97\00:26:18.37
encourages you and, you know,
when he's like, let's like how
00:26:18.37\00:26:21.84
you said, Greg, let's
pray about this, you know, and
00:26:21.84\00:26:24.38
before you're trying to pray
and talk to God, but now you
00:26:24.38\00:26:27.05
have this helpmate
that just, it's wonderful.
00:26:27.05\00:26:29.65
Man, I can't agree with that.
00:26:30.25\00:26:30.92
I went through the same thing.
00:26:30.92\00:26:31.95
So for single people, you
know, God calls us to not be
00:26:33.59\00:26:37.96
unequally yoke with unbelievers.
00:26:37.96\00:26:39.96
So I praise God my marriage
worked out, but did I have to
00:26:40.96\00:26:44.27
go through all that struggle?
00:26:44.27\00:26:45.43
Cause my
marriage was really hard.
00:26:45.43\00:26:47.20
And my Ian's
actually my second marriage.
00:26:48.27\00:26:50.64
My first
marriage was even harder.
00:26:50.74\00:26:52.34
It was very abusive.
00:26:52.34\00:26:53.44
So, and I was both
times unequally yoke.
00:26:53.71\00:26:56.54
So for single people, God
instructs us to be with people
00:26:56.54\00:27:00.88
that are our spouses
or whoever you're dating.
00:27:00.88\00:27:03.85
Don't date unless you're
planning on marrying them.
00:27:03.85\00:27:06.22
And if you're planning on
marrying them, make sure it's
00:27:06.25\00:27:09.19
someone that loves God, that
loves God more than they love
00:27:09.19\00:27:13.80
you.
00:27:13.80\00:27:14.30
That's my prayer for y'all.
00:27:15.33\00:27:16.77
Can I ask a question?
00:27:17.03\00:27:18.27
Absolutely.
00:27:18.53\00:27:24.11
you're in an
abusive relationship.
00:27:24.11\00:27:25.61
How do you even find identity
of who you are as a woman?
00:27:25.87\00:27:29.58
Whew, that took a long time,
but praise God I was raised in
00:27:30.71\00:27:33.75
a Christian home.
00:27:33.75\00:27:34.58
So as I was being abused and
basically, he left me with no
00:27:35.25\00:27:40.26
car, nowhere,
like not even food.
00:27:40.26\00:27:43.29
Like my mom once in a while
would bring me food and stuff.
00:27:43.56\00:27:46.16
So I moved so many
times, it was very abusive.
00:27:46.80\00:27:49.40
And so I looked to
God for my strength.
00:27:49.40\00:27:53.97
And I remember just being
in a little tiny room, I mean,
00:27:54.50\00:27:58.24
probably not bigger than
this, no, the stage is probably
00:27:58.37\00:28:01.38
bigger.
00:28:01.38\00:28:06.21
would just open the word
and just find comfort in him.
00:28:06.21\00:28:08.92
And then over time, God
was healing me through that.
00:28:09.02\00:28:12.39
So he was, and then he was
giving me the strength, praise
00:28:12.59\00:28:14.76
God, to leave him.
00:28:14.76\00:28:15.92
Yes.
00:28:15.99\00:28:19.89
but when he went to go hit my
daughter, that's when God said
00:28:19.93\00:28:23.33
enough.
00:28:23.33\00:28:24.00
And he gave me
the strength to leave.
00:28:24.93\00:28:26.50
Absolutely.
00:28:27.54\00:28:27.57
Let's, this is unusual, but
let's pause a moment because I
00:28:29.54\00:28:32.01
think there's people right now
watching who are in an abusive
00:28:32.01\00:28:34.54
relationship.
00:28:34.54\00:28:35.34
God does not want you to
be in an abusive relationship.
00:28:35.71\00:28:38.51
You need to be in a safe place.
00:28:38.81\00:28:41.12
That's very important.
00:28:41.15\00:28:42.45
Forgiveness is powerful in a
marriage and in a relationship,
00:28:42.45\00:28:45.89
but abuse is not acceptable.
00:28:46.22\00:28:48.16
So let's pray for someone
right now who's in that battle.
00:28:48.52\00:28:51.79
Terri, you want to
pray for our sisters?
00:28:51.86\00:28:53.36
Heavenly father, Lord, you hear
our conversation taking place
00:28:54.93\00:29:00.04
right now.
00:29:00.04\00:29:04.17
listening to this, this talk
and so Lord, we pray for them
00:29:04.21\00:29:07.71
in the name of Jesus.
00:29:07.71\00:29:09.31
We ask that you would just send
your sweet Holy spirit to bring
00:29:09.61\00:29:12.08
comfort to them, give them the
strength that they need, Lord,
00:29:12.08\00:29:15.68
to walk away from any physical
abuse that is taking place.
00:29:16.05\00:29:20.49
We pray that you would send
Holy angels to just surround
00:29:20.96\00:29:23.63
them and just draw them
close to you, Lord, and set them
00:29:23.63\00:29:27.36
free.
00:29:27.36\00:29:27.86
And we thank
thee in Jesus' name.
00:29:28.16\00:29:29.86
Amen.
00:29:30.07\00:29:30.40
Thank you.
00:29:31.23\00:29:32.43
Sorry.
00:29:32.60\00:29:32.77
No, thank you.
00:29:33.03\00:29:34.07
So my next focus point is in
God's plan for marriage roles.
00:29:34.54\00:29:39.24
So the husband should
love and care for the wife.
00:29:39.24\00:29:42.21
Like Jesus loves the church
and the wife should respect and
00:29:42.44\00:29:45.91
love her husband.
00:29:45.91\00:29:50.35
earlier, that, you know, as
married couples, you know, you
00:29:50.35\00:29:54.09
may not, this is a verse in
the Bible in Ephesians 5, 25
00:29:54.09\00:29:57.49
through 28, that I think we
need to read and look at more
00:29:57.49\00:30:00.96
often as our role as a married
couple, as a husband and wife.
00:30:00.96\00:30:05.60
And for the husband, you
should be the loving leadership.
00:30:06.23\00:30:10.54
And the Bible says husbands
love your wives just as Christ
00:30:10.71\00:30:14.64
loved the church and gave
himself for her to make her
00:30:14.64\00:30:18.35
holy in this same way.
00:30:18.35\00:30:19.98
Husband ought to love
their wives as their own bodies.
00:30:20.38\00:30:24.12
He who loves his
wife loves himself.
00:30:24.59\00:30:27.49
And as for wives, we are
to respect and support our
00:30:28.16\00:30:32.29
husbands.
00:30:32.29\00:30:37.37
your own husband,
as you do to the Lord.
00:30:37.37\00:30:40.07
For the husband is the head of
the wife as Christ is the head
00:30:40.54\00:30:44.34
of the church.
00:30:44.34\00:30:45.21
However, each one of you also
must love his wife as he loves
00:30:45.81\00:30:49.88
himself.
00:30:49.88\00:30:50.75
And the wife must
respect her husband.
00:30:50.78\00:30:53.31
And these verses
reflect a mutual Christ centered
00:30:53.52\00:30:56.72
relationship marked by
sacrificial love for the
00:30:56.72\00:30:59.79
husband and respect
and support for the wife.
00:30:59.79\00:31:03.46
And in Venice Home, I
love this quote that it says,
00:31:04.03\00:31:08.90
deeper and stronger.
00:31:28.68\00:31:29.98
And this actually sets home
with me because, like I said
00:31:30.32\00:31:35.39
before, my husband, him and
I were, you know, we weren't
00:31:35.39\00:31:39.76
always walking hand to hand and
our love, we loved each other,
00:31:39.76\00:31:44.40
but we didn't have
the love we have now.
00:31:44.43\00:31:46.47
Now, you know, when I'm running
late, I'm sitting down doing my
00:31:46.87\00:31:51.37
makeup and here comes my sweet
husband with breakfast for me.
00:31:51.37\00:31:54.91
And like, we just care so much.
00:31:55.34\00:31:57.15
It's a deeper love.
00:31:57.15\00:31:58.68
And I think we would never have
reached that deeper love if we
00:31:59.18\00:32:02.52
never had Christ in our
home and as a leadership in our
00:32:02.52\00:32:06.29
home.
00:32:06.29\00:32:10.69
for our children as well.
00:32:10.69\00:32:11.86
You don't, you
stop being selfish.
00:32:12.29\00:32:14.30
You stop, it's
not about you anymore.
00:32:14.50\00:32:16.80
It's about
serving the other person.
00:32:16.90\00:32:18.90
And that's why this verse right
here, I just love, and I need
00:32:19.07\00:32:22.77
to actually look more and more,
like go back once in a while
00:32:22.77\00:32:25.84
and look at this verse.
00:32:25.84\00:32:27.01
You know, what really jumps
out at me is that the man is to
00:32:27.01\00:32:30.01
love his wife as
Christ loved the church.
00:32:30.01\00:32:31.71
When we come to Christ, we
have not arrived to a state of
00:32:32.08\00:32:36.12
perfection.
00:32:36.12\00:32:36.62
He accepts us as we are.
00:32:36.85\00:32:38.32
He justifies us through
his own blood, but then the
00:32:38.52\00:32:41.26
sanctification process begins.
00:32:41.26\00:32:42.96
And so when we come together as
man and wife, neither party has
00:32:43.06\00:32:46.86
attained to perfection and so
they're going to grow together.
00:32:46.86\00:32:49.83
And what I'm hearing is that
you and Ian have experienced so
00:32:49.83\00:32:49.86
many things throughout
the years of your marriage and
00:32:52.70\00:32:54.94
you're growing into that
love relationship that Christ
00:32:54.94\00:32:57.81
intended for you.
00:32:57.81\00:32:58.64
We are, yes.
00:32:58.64\00:32:59.57
It's only been five
years actually that we've been
00:32:59.74\00:33:02.58
together as he gave his
heart to God and we've just been
00:33:02.58\00:33:05.98
growing together in Christ
and do everything, and this is
00:33:05.98\00:33:09.35
another verse I need
for myself, I don't know.
00:33:09.35\00:33:11.72
Guy gave me this topic not
only for y'all, but for me too.
00:33:11.89\00:33:14.92
In Philippians 2, 14 it
says, do everything without
00:33:16.49\00:33:18.99
complaining and arguing.
00:33:18.99\00:33:20.33
Sometimes, you know, as a
wife, we need to not complain.
00:33:20.86\00:33:24.37
Even though sometimes a lot of
the load is on us, we should be
00:33:25.00\00:33:28.87
happy that we have a house,
we have a roof overhead, we have
00:33:28.87\00:33:32.37
dishes to clean, you know?
00:33:32.37\00:33:34.24
And in a lot of countries, they
don't have what we have here.
00:33:34.61\00:33:37.55
And I'm just, you know,
God's teaching me, you know, be
00:33:37.91\00:33:40.98
thankful you're clean and
be thankful you have this.
00:33:40.98\00:33:43.32
I gave you this, you know,
don't complain so much about
00:33:43.39\00:33:46.42
it.
00:33:46.42\00:33:46.92
Love to, you know, do that.
00:33:47.09\00:33:48.52
Be thankful you have a husband
that you can clean for and how
00:33:48.72\00:33:52.63
he loves you and how he,
you know, is thankful for that.
00:33:52.63\00:33:55.53
And we share our
role as a couple.
00:33:55.60\00:33:58.00
Sometimes I do the dishes and
sometimes he does the dishes.
00:33:58.40\00:34:01.00
And I learned not to
complain about how he loads the
00:34:01.20\00:34:05.44
dishwasher.
00:34:05.44\00:34:05.61
So pick your battles.
00:34:07.64\00:34:09.21
Me too.
00:34:09.98\00:34:10.71
I just say, oh, that's
how you want to do it, Stevie.
00:34:11.11\00:34:13.18
That's wonderful.
00:34:13.18\00:34:13.21
matter to him.
00:34:18.42\00:34:19.22
So then it shouldn't,
it doesn't matter to me.
00:34:19.59\00:34:21.52
At least he's helping.
00:34:22.06\00:34:22.79
Praise the Lord.
00:34:22.79\00:34:23.86
It's good, sorry.
00:34:25.69\00:34:26.93
And it's good to acknowledge
the underlying reason for
00:34:27.00\00:34:29.80
complaining, right?
00:34:29.80\00:34:30.97
Because a lot of times that
comes from a place of not being
00:34:30.97\00:34:34.30
content, right?
00:34:34.30\00:34:35.34
You don't like the way
the dishwasher is loaded.
00:34:35.34\00:34:38.17
You don't like the way your
husband made the bed or even
00:34:38.27\00:34:41.58
your child, right?
00:34:41.58\00:34:42.68
And so you start grumbling, you
start complaining and not being
00:34:42.94\00:34:45.95
really comes from a deeper,
a deeper place of covetousness
00:34:46.51\00:34:54.06
because you're comparing what
you have to something else and
00:34:54.06\00:34:56.96
it's not that other thing.
00:34:56.96\00:34:58.46
And so I really like how
you brought out earlier that you
00:34:58.93\00:35:01.50
need to stay
focused on Christ, right?
00:35:01.50\00:35:03.90
When you're both trying to
attain the same thing, you're
00:35:03.90\00:35:06.97
not looking at other couples,
you're not looking at even
00:35:06.97\00:35:10.57
reality TV shows or anything.
00:35:10.57\00:35:12.44
You're just focusing on Jesus
and together you're growing and
00:35:12.44\00:35:16.81
there's no reason to complain.
00:35:16.81\00:35:18.21
At least you try to
have a reason to complain.
00:35:18.35\00:35:22.62
I like how you brought that
up with not looking at other
00:35:22.85\00:35:25.62
couples and comparing because,
you know, before I'd be like,
00:35:25.62\00:35:29.29
oh, if I had a husband that
loved the Lord, it would just
00:35:29.42\00:35:32.69
be, my life would be perfect.
00:35:32.69\00:35:34.46
But, you know, I had a good
husband, you know, God was just
00:35:34.76\00:35:38.00
working on him.
00:35:38.00\00:35:42.24
the perfect marriage and stuff.
00:35:42.24\00:35:43.81
And it's like, no, just work
on, pray for God to fix what
00:35:44.04\00:35:46.94
you have.
00:35:46.94\00:35:47.68
The grass is not
greener on the other side.
00:35:47.88\00:35:49.98
And I tell couples that my
husband, I counsel, I'm like,
00:35:50.05\00:35:53.08
if your house is broken,
do you just throw it away?
00:35:53.38\00:35:55.92
No, you go and you fix it.
00:35:56.12\00:35:57.59
You fix what God has given you
and you need to be thankful for
00:35:57.79\00:36:01.39
what God has given you
and work together to fix that.
00:36:01.39\00:36:04.99
And, you know, sometimes when
we point always at the other
00:36:04.99\00:36:08.53
person, it's us that we need
to be praying, what's wrong with
00:36:08.53\00:36:12.33
us, that's causing maybe
my husband to be like that.
00:36:12.33\00:36:15.40
And that honestly, ladies,
when I started doing that, my
00:36:15.67\00:36:20.54
marriage became better because
I was always pointing at my
00:36:20.54\00:36:23.01
husband, oh, you know, he
drinks too much and, you know,
00:36:23.01\00:36:26.58
why is he doing
all these things?
00:36:26.58\00:36:28.45
Am I being a helpmate?
00:36:28.75\00:36:30.05
Am I doing what
God's calling me to do?
00:36:30.15\00:36:31.95
And honestly, I wasn't,
even though I was calling myself
00:36:31.95\00:36:34.69
Christian, I wasn't being that
helpmate and support person for
00:36:34.69\00:36:38.96
my husband.
00:36:38.96\00:36:39.73
So when I started doing that,
our marriage, you know, started
00:36:40.20\00:36:43.13
changing.
00:36:43.13\00:36:43.77
So don't be so
quick to point the finger.
00:36:44.10\00:36:47.00
And I would like
that you pointed that out.
00:36:47.10\00:36:48.60
Right.
00:36:48.87\00:36:53.78
or a situation that I was
in, I would have all of these
00:36:54.11\00:36:58.75
biblical concepts of what a
man needs to be like, what a
00:36:58.75\00:37:01.65
husband needs to be like, and
see like, oh, I don't see that
00:37:01.65\00:37:04.39
in him.
00:37:04.39\00:37:04.82
I don't see that in him.
00:37:04.95\00:37:05.69
I don't see that in him.
00:37:05.82\00:37:06.72
Well, we're all growing.
00:37:07.09\00:37:08.49
So I'm sure they look at me and
we're like, you're not Proverbs
00:37:10.23\00:37:13.26
31 either.
00:37:13.26\00:37:14.00
You know, so we got to both
kind of like find that middle
00:37:16.67\00:37:21.40
ground.
00:37:21.40\00:37:24.57
okay?
00:37:24.57\00:37:25.07
Absolutely.
00:37:26.68\00:37:29.88
shows, because I think as a
woman, we can over romanticize
00:37:29.88\00:37:35.58
relationships and we say,
Oh, but my husband's not as
00:37:35.58\00:37:39.29
handsome as this actor or my
husband doesn't treat me like
00:37:39.29\00:37:42.49
whatever.
00:37:42.49\00:37:49.20
sorry, we're diverging.
00:37:49.20\00:37:50.27
For men, men can struggle with
pornography, not all men, but
00:37:53.20\00:37:57.14
some men can struggle with that
because they might be visually,
00:37:57.14\00:37:59.51
but for women, in my opinion,
it's romance novels and soap
00:38:00.11\00:38:05.48
operas and romance TV
programs where we idolize that.
00:38:05.48\00:38:10.72
And that's not biblical.
00:38:10.79\00:38:12.45
And it makes you discontent,
as you said, with what God has
00:38:12.72\00:38:16.89
blessed you with
instead of focusing on God.
00:38:16.89\00:38:18.69
Can I just add, a lot of
times we see people and compare
00:38:18.69\00:38:22.00
ourselves to them,
but that's what we see.
00:38:22.00\00:38:24.10
We don't see what
happens behind closed doors.
00:38:24.13\00:38:26.13
So we're romanticizing
this idea, Oh, I wish my
00:38:26.20\00:38:28.94
relationship was like that.
00:38:28.94\00:38:29.94
But behind closed doors,
it might not be that way.
00:38:30.04\00:38:32.11
That's true.
00:38:32.77\00:38:33.58
It likely isn't, right?
00:38:33.98\00:38:35.08
Yes.
00:38:35.08\00:38:35.54
Yeah, that is so true.
00:38:36.08\00:38:37.51
And I have another focus
point is be kind and gentle.
00:38:37.88\00:38:40.92
Don't force each
other to do things your way.
00:38:41.28\00:38:43.89
Forcing your will leads to
unhappiness and loss of love.
00:38:44.05\00:38:48.32
And another thing that
Ellen White says is all should
00:38:48.66\00:38:51.59
cultivate patience
by practicing patience.
00:38:51.59\00:38:54.66
And that's something I know
I need to practice is patience.
00:38:55.10\00:38:58.70
And I have animals, so
that, that I know that may not
00:38:58.97\00:39:03.64
pertain to that, but that's
where my patience loses my, my
00:39:03.64\00:39:07.18
puppies, um, by being kind
and forbearant, true love may be
00:39:07.18\00:39:11.11
kept warm and the heart
and qualities will be developed
00:39:11.11\00:39:14.92
that heaven will approve.
00:39:14.92\00:39:17.09
I love that, that we need to
practice patience and that if
00:39:17.09\00:39:20.79
we do, God's the qualities will
be developed that heaven will
00:39:20.79\00:39:25.69
approve.
00:39:25.69\00:39:25.99
I love that.
00:39:26.23\00:39:26.66
Anybody has anything to say
about gentleness and kindness?
00:39:28.83\00:39:31.33
I just think that
it starts in the home.
00:39:32.37\00:39:34.40
And so we can come to work
and be kind and patient with
00:39:35.27\00:39:38.37
everybody, but what
are we like at home?
00:39:38.37\00:39:39.87
It's kind of easy to do that.
00:39:39.94\00:39:41.58
Easy to be kind with people who
you don't live with, but once
00:39:41.64\00:39:45.61
you get him, because you know,
your husband always loves you
00:39:45.61\00:39:48.58
or your spouse.
00:39:48.58\00:39:49.35
You know, and even children.
00:39:49.52\00:39:50.62
Yeah, yes, but you know, they
love you and you can, but yes.
00:39:51.29\00:39:54.52
If I think the way we are at
home, we need to be even, you
00:39:55.29\00:39:58.66
know, better at home
because home is where everything
00:39:58.66\00:40:01.23
starts.
00:40:01.23\00:40:01.76
That's where everything begins.
00:40:02.03\00:40:03.83
I think it's important to note
too, that we can't do it in our
00:40:04.40\00:40:06.87
own strength.
00:40:06.87\00:40:07.54
It's only as we
stay connected to Christ.
00:40:07.80\00:40:09.80
And so that personal devotion
time as a woman is so important
00:40:09.87\00:40:13.81
to have that connection
with God and to ask him for the
00:40:13.81\00:40:17.11
strength that he has promised
to give us to overcome these
00:40:17.11\00:40:20.68
poor character traits and
become more like him, you know,
00:40:20.68\00:40:23.39
day by day.
00:40:23.52\00:40:24.25
Yep.
00:40:24.89\00:40:25.42
It's not a run, it's a walk.
00:40:25.55\00:40:26.69
I find that a personal struggle
because I need to, as head of
00:40:26.79\00:40:31.09
the household, I'm responsible
for being the breadwinner and
00:40:31.09\00:40:35.40
also being the feminine part
or filling the motherly role at
00:40:35.40\00:40:40.40
home.
00:40:40.40\00:40:45.34
you know, however many hours
and you go home, then you have
00:40:45.34\00:40:47.68
to make supper and then
you clean up and all of these
00:40:47.68\00:40:49.61
things to still have that
kindness just pour out of you.
00:40:49.61\00:40:55.25
And I'm not saying I'm
deliberately mean to my kid,
00:40:55.25\00:40:57.25
that kind of sounds wrong,
but definitely a little short, I
00:40:57.32\00:41:03.32
guess I would say.
00:41:03.32\00:41:04.39
I struggle with
that particularly.
00:41:04.53\00:41:06.16
I don't know if, I know
we're all working women.
00:41:06.46\00:41:08.96
It can be challenging,
especially if you have a child
00:41:09.40\00:41:12.70
who can't do much for
themselves at home and that air
00:41:12.70\00:41:15.44
in you and you're like, I have
to do everything and then, you
00:41:15.44\00:41:17.51
know, you're running behind.
00:41:17.51\00:41:18.34
So that's something that I know
I particularly need to grow in
00:41:18.74\00:41:22.01
is kind of exuding the
kindness when I go home.
00:41:22.01\00:41:26.92
I can identify
with what you're saying.
00:41:27.55\00:41:29.22
Even though I'm a widow, I'm
raising my two grandchildren by
00:41:29.92\00:41:33.05
myself and they're
eight and nine years old.
00:41:33.05\00:41:35.56
And so there's a lot to take
care of in the course of a day.
00:41:35.82\00:41:38.73
And I relate with you saying
sometimes you're not always,
00:41:38.73\00:41:41.93
you don't feel impatient,
but you're just rushed.
00:41:42.30\00:41:44.97
So it comes out short because
you're just trying to get A to
00:41:45.27\00:41:48.97
Z done in the
time that you have.
00:41:48.97\00:41:50.67
Excuse me.
00:41:51.94\00:41:52.57
And so I'm just trying to put
little things around the house
00:41:53.21\00:41:55.74
to help me to
remember about my speech.
00:41:55.74\00:41:57.81
So I found this little thing
that I put over my stove and
00:41:57.81\00:41:57.85
it's a little bumblebee
and it just says, be kind.
00:42:00.62\00:42:03.02
So when I'm cooking, I
can remember to be kind.
00:42:03.35\00:42:05.25
And over my sink, I put a
little stone that I found at a
00:42:05.32\00:42:07.79
store and it just
says, love is patient.
00:42:07.79\00:42:09.89
And so I'm putting little
reminders around the house to
00:42:10.36\00:42:13.46
help me to remember how
I'm speaking to the children.
00:42:13.46\00:42:15.96
I'm going to try that.
00:42:16.40\00:42:17.30
I need that.
00:42:18.37\00:42:19.17
You're fulfilling
your role as the mentor.
00:42:19.77\00:42:21.54
See, that's beautiful.
00:42:23.74\00:42:24.64
I love that.
00:42:24.81\00:42:25.37
I think for me often, because
we don't have children in the
00:42:26.07\00:42:30.45
home, but
sometimes work is intense.
00:42:30.45\00:42:33.15
You know, you have a lot of
meetings or you have a lot of
00:42:33.45\00:42:35.38
responsibility or a
lot of things going on.
00:42:35.38\00:42:37.22
And sometimes what I find is
when I interact with Greg, it
00:42:37.22\00:42:40.79
has nothing to do with Greg and
it's me, my frustration or my
00:42:40.79\00:42:45.26
whatever, coming out
from a previous situation.
00:42:45.26\00:42:47.66
So I think learning to
recognize that and acknowledge
00:42:48.03\00:42:50.83
that.
00:42:50.83\00:42:54.10
irritated right now, but
it has nothing to do with you.
00:42:54.10\00:42:56.47
I think it's coming out from
something before and just being
00:42:56.64\00:42:59.87
open about, you know, that.
00:42:59.87\00:43:01.14
I say that to Ian all the time.
00:43:01.14\00:43:02.98
Yes.
00:43:04.11\00:43:04.58
And then going back to God.
00:43:04.78\00:43:06.38
God, I want to be fixed
here, as you talked about.
00:43:06.38\00:43:08.48
I want to grow here.
00:43:08.58\00:43:10.05
And sometimes as a Christian
woman, you're like, you know,
00:43:10.52\00:43:13.59
you're not supposed
to have those feelings.
00:43:13.66\00:43:14.92
So you're, you feel so bad.
00:43:14.96\00:43:16.36
You have them.
00:43:16.36\00:43:17.26
I'm just like, God, help me.
00:43:17.29\00:43:18.49
I'm so sorry.
00:43:18.56\00:43:19.23
I feel like this.
00:43:19.26\00:43:20.20
And it's just a growth
that we go through every day.
00:43:20.40\00:43:22.70
And I think, you know, that
just helps us to lean on Christ
00:43:22.73\00:43:26.77
that we need him.
00:43:26.77\00:43:27.60
And speaking about that, my
last focus point was be Christ
00:43:29.30\00:43:33.58
like in your marriage, show
character of Jesus through your
00:43:33.58\00:43:37.15
actions and words.
00:43:37.15\00:43:38.48
Think more about each
other's happiness than your own
00:43:39.01\00:43:42.18
desires.
00:43:42.18\00:43:42.82
And I think that's so true.
00:43:42.95\00:43:44.59
Um, when we think of each
other, you know, when we think
00:43:45.85\00:43:48.59
of, like my husband, he
knew I was going to be late or
00:43:48.59\00:43:51.96
whenever I'm late in the
morning, he's, he goes and
00:43:51.96\00:43:54.96
he'll make me breakfast or
he'll get the lunch and take
00:43:54.96\00:43:58.23
care of the animals.
00:43:58.23\00:43:59.13
And, you know, we think of each
other and then same thing with
00:43:59.47\00:44:02.20
him when he has to study, I
give him his quiet time, you
00:44:02.20\00:44:05.44
know, as married couples,
sometimes we need that alone
00:44:05.44\00:44:08.78
time together and just,
you know, just think, you know,
00:44:08.78\00:44:12.51
don't be there, you know,
just help your husband be, give
00:44:12.58\00:44:16.99
them, you know, that space they
need and just think of their
00:44:16.99\00:44:20.76
feelings, you know, instead
of your own is what I get out of
00:44:20.76\00:44:23.56
this.
00:44:23.56\00:44:24.03
And any thoughts on that?
00:44:25.03\00:44:26.16
Absolutely.
00:44:28.36\00:44:32.97
Mind, Personality, Mind,
Character and Personality,
00:44:32.97\00:44:36.71
Volume One, pretty much in
the beginning where she talks
00:44:36.87\00:44:41.51
about, it's evangelizing in
general, but understanding the
00:44:41.51\00:44:45.98
different ways that
people think, you know, being
00:44:45.98\00:44:49.18
considerate of that.
00:44:49.18\00:44:50.49
And so I see that's what you're
saying, like understanding what
00:44:50.69\00:44:53.82
the husband has gone through
or what he's going through, what
00:44:53.82\00:44:56.73
he needs to do and being
mindful of that instead of
00:44:56.73\00:45:00.63
understanding everything
as a reaction to yourself.
00:45:00.63\00:45:02.90
And when you do that,
they do it back to you.
00:45:03.20\00:45:05.33
They're like, Oh,
that was so sweet of you.
00:45:05.47\00:45:06.87
And then they
want to do something.
00:45:06.97\00:45:08.10
Same thing with your kids.
00:45:08.27\00:45:09.40
It's just a circle that, you
know, just share the love and
00:45:09.50\00:45:12.17
the kindness in the house.
00:45:12.17\00:45:13.54
That's beautiful.
00:45:14.28\00:45:15.11
You know, we talk
about negative cycles, right?
00:45:15.28\00:45:17.65
And the downward spiral, but
you can have a positive cycle
00:45:17.65\00:45:20.78
and a positive spiral.
00:45:20.78\00:45:22.45
It goes toward Jesus, but each,
Oh, what can I do to help you
00:45:22.45\00:45:26.39
today, honey?
00:45:26.39\00:45:27.16
And what can I do?
00:45:27.22\00:45:28.29
How can I support
you and encourage you?
00:45:28.36\00:45:30.16
And then that makes
him want to support you.
00:45:30.19\00:45:32.46
And then it's back and forth,
but it gets better and better.
00:45:32.46\00:45:32.49
Yeah.
00:45:35.66\00:45:36.10
Praise God.
00:45:36.80\00:45:41.94
wish my husband would support
me in this and that, but if we
00:45:41.94\00:45:45.57
would just take our time to do
it and think about their needs,
00:45:45.57\00:45:48.34
then it would be reciprocated.
00:45:48.48\00:45:49.88
It's true.
00:45:49.98\00:45:50.58
It's very true.
00:45:50.78\00:45:51.38
I love that.
00:45:51.55\00:45:52.08
Thank you, sis Angela.
00:45:52.08\00:45:53.62
Oh, thank you.
00:45:53.68\00:45:54.48
Powerful.
00:45:54.48\00:45:58.79
unwise, but understand
what the will of the Lord is.
00:45:58.79\00:46:02.06
And then my final, my
last thought I have is through
00:46:02.06\00:46:02.09
difficulties, perplexities
and discouragement may arise.
00:46:06.86\00:46:10.83
Let neither husband nor wife
harbor the thought that their
00:46:10.97\00:46:15.44
union is a mistake.
00:46:15.44\00:46:17.27
So God brought you together for
a reason or a disappointment,
00:46:17.41\00:46:21.08
determined to be all that
is, it is possible to be to each
00:46:21.54\00:46:26.95
other, continue the
early attention in every way,
00:46:26.95\00:46:30.65
encourage each other in
fighting and battles of life,
00:46:30.79\00:46:34.39
study to advance the
happiness of each other.
00:46:35.46\00:46:38.46
And that's in
counsels for the church.
00:46:38.49\00:46:40.40
So I really like that.
00:46:40.86\00:46:42.46
Some people are like, I don't
know if we should be together
00:46:42.56\00:46:45.27
if, you know, and then I always
pull this out, you know, no
00:46:45.27\00:46:48.17
marriage is a mistake.
00:46:48.17\00:46:49.37
Absolutely.
00:46:50.81\00:46:53.64
And when I was a new bride, I
asked my grandma, what was the
00:46:54.61\00:46:57.88
secret of their happy marriage?
00:46:57.88\00:46:59.08
And she said,
divorce was never an option.
00:46:59.08\00:47:01.78
That's so important.
00:47:03.49\00:47:04.35
They just worked at it.
00:47:04.49\00:47:05.62
Yes, absolutely.
00:47:06.25\00:47:07.02
Forgiveness, love,
Christ's work in the heart makes
00:47:08.12\00:47:11.73
tremendous
difference in the home.
00:47:11.73\00:47:14.10
I want to be clear, we're
not talking about abuse though.
00:47:14.23\00:47:16.60
If there's abuse in the home
and you're physically hurt, you
00:47:16.77\00:47:20.27
need to get out
and be in a safe place.
00:47:20.27\00:47:22.54
But beyond that, it's amazing
what God can do in marriages.
00:47:23.07\00:47:26.74
We're going to switch
to Sister Fotini here.
00:47:27.18\00:47:29.48
And I know we're coming down
to the end of the first hour.
00:47:29.68\00:47:31.88
So if we don't get to all of
it in this hour, we can always
00:47:31.91\00:47:34.68
pick up with it at the start
of the second hour as well.
00:47:34.68\00:47:36.95
But go ahead and share.
00:47:37.22\00:47:38.42
So my topic is on the role
of a single mom and the helpmate
00:47:39.19\00:47:44.69
spirit.
00:47:44.69\00:47:45.46
Clearly there is no husband
in the picture to bring that
00:47:45.89\00:47:49.83
towards.
00:47:49.83\00:47:50.27
But as a mom, especially
since I've been blessed with a
00:47:51.00\00:47:56.07
differently abled child who
I say raises me well, it's more
00:47:56.07\00:48:01.41
of a strategic planning because
like I mentioned earlier, I
00:48:01.41\00:48:06.45
have to take care of
everything and that fosters
00:48:06.45\00:48:09.88
characteristics that are good
like resilience and I wish more
00:48:09.88\00:48:15.66
patience, but I'm
still working on that.
00:48:15.66\00:48:17.59
But it brings along with it
a lot of autonomy and a lot of
00:48:17.59\00:48:22.30
taking charge on your own.
00:48:22.30\00:48:24.47
So it's a bit of a challenge
to marry that concept with being
00:48:25.47\00:48:30.14
submissive and being a helpmate.
00:48:30.14\00:48:32.47
And the most immediate or yeah,
I guess the most immediate way
00:48:34.54\00:48:39.68
that I could do that or that
I practice doing that is with my
00:48:39.68\00:48:43.25
child, right?
00:48:43.25\00:48:43.99
I help my child.
00:48:43.99\00:48:44.99
I know I'm going to be,
I'm going to need to be in the
00:48:45.15\00:48:47.62
position to help my child
for likely the rest of her life.
00:48:47.62\00:48:51.09
And that takes on
mainly strategic planning.
00:48:52.16\00:48:56.87
I think I
mentioned that earlier.
00:48:57.07\00:48:58.30
So that is making sure that she
has the skills that she needs
00:48:58.77\00:49:03.87
to be successful the
way that she can in life.
00:49:03.87\00:49:08.38
Praise the Lord.
00:49:09.28\00:49:10.21
I like to say we're on
the better side of autism.
00:49:10.35\00:49:12.85
I know things can be a
lot more struggling than we've
00:49:13.05\00:49:17.59
experienced so far.
00:49:17.59\00:49:18.85
But in that context, I provide
a lot of social reinforcement
00:49:20.06\00:49:25.86
for her.
00:49:25.86\00:49:26.63
She doesn't do well with
navigating social interactions.
00:49:28.60\00:49:32.70
And a lot of times people
will say, oh, you know, we can't
00:49:32.87\00:49:35.84
even tell she has autism.
00:49:35.84\00:49:37.04
Praise the Lord because
she's learned how to carry on a
00:49:37.67\00:49:40.31
conversation through
scripts and things like that.
00:49:40.31\00:49:42.94
And so it's good to let
her know, you know, what you're
00:49:42.94\00:49:46.58
doing now is appropriate
or, you know, look at the other
00:49:46.58\00:49:49.95
person.
00:49:49.95\00:49:50.59
They don't seem interested.
00:49:50.62\00:49:51.55
You need to say
excuse me and maybe leave.
00:49:51.59\00:49:53.99
I also don't want her to be in
the position where people make
00:49:54.59\00:49:57.13
fun of her, where
kids make fun of her.
00:49:57.13\00:49:59.36
And so unfortunately that's
an area I have to touch on in
00:49:59.39\00:50:03.06
helping her.
00:50:03.06\00:50:03.83
But overall, the way I practice
being help made as a single mom
00:50:04.33\00:50:10.34
is to my child.
00:50:10.34\00:50:11.74
And, well, I brought out the
shielding and protecting aspect
00:50:14.34\00:50:19.11
of that.
00:50:19.11\00:50:19.75
Another way that I'm a
help mate to her is not paying
00:50:20.28\00:50:25.29
attention to the advice of
other people that I get for
00:50:25.29\00:50:29.02
raising her.
00:50:29.02\00:50:29.82
And a lot of parents with
children on the autism spectrum
00:50:30.19\00:50:33.43
will relate to this because
everybody has a good opinion of
00:50:33.43\00:50:37.63
what your child should be doing
or what they shouldn't be doing
00:50:37.63\00:50:39.93
at that moment.
00:50:39.93\00:50:40.74
And even doctors.
00:50:41.14\00:50:43.04
I remember when we first got
our diagnosis, Artemis was, I
00:50:43.51\00:50:50.01
think, two and a half years
old and she was still in diapers
00:50:50.01\00:50:54.52
and she was growing out of the
sizes that we could find in the
00:50:54.52\00:50:58.52
supermarket.
00:50:58.52\00:51:02.66
would we find
bigger size diapers?
00:51:02.66\00:51:05.06
And also, did he have any
advice for potty training?
00:51:05.46\00:51:09.16
I'm sorry, this is TMI
probably for some people.
00:51:09.23\00:51:11.33
And he looked at me and still
to this day, almost 12 years
00:51:12.50\00:51:16.74
later, or over 12 years later,
I see him looking at me and
00:51:16.74\00:51:20.21
saying, don't worry about that.
00:51:20.21\00:51:22.18
That'll be the
least of your concerns.
00:51:22.18\00:51:24.31
And that's just so crushing
to hear as a parent, you know,
00:51:25.31\00:51:29.48
when you're just thinking of
something very basic as using
00:51:29.48\00:51:33.69
the restroom, teaching your
child how to use the restroom.
00:51:33.69\00:51:36.19
And so one way that I help her
grow is to not limit her by not
00:51:36.62\00:51:44.57
even my own opinion, let alone
something that we were advised
00:51:44.57\00:51:48.04
by, advised to as, what's
the word, someone gave us the
00:51:48.04\00:51:54.11
advice 12 and a half years ago.
00:51:54.11\00:51:56.58
And who you would
consider superior, right?
00:51:57.95\00:52:00.18
A doctor told me this.
00:52:00.18\00:52:01.72
And so I think one way of being
a good help me to her is not
00:52:02.08\00:52:06.09
limiting her ability.
00:52:06.09\00:52:07.96
Can I jump in here?
00:52:08.46\00:52:09.89
You mentioned something I think
is super important as woman.
00:52:09.96\00:52:12.76
That is, what is
helpful comments?
00:52:14.10\00:52:16.43
And what is hurtful comments?
00:52:16.87\00:52:18.47
In other words, what is
helpful in your situation?
00:52:18.77\00:52:21.67
What could we say?
00:52:21.77\00:52:22.94
What could we do
that would be helpful?
00:52:23.30\00:52:25.04
And then what are comments that
we need to keep our mouth shut
00:52:25.54\00:52:29.01
or need to learn how to be more
tactful or, because it seems
00:52:29.01\00:52:33.05
like no matter what the
situation, we all have good
00:52:33.05\00:52:35.48
advice that we want to give.
00:52:35.48\00:52:37.59
And so any perspectives on that?
00:52:37.59\00:52:40.09
Well, I agree with Fottini that
you don't always have to take
00:52:40.59\00:52:43.89
everything everybody
says to you to heart.
00:52:43.89\00:52:45.83
You have to evaluate it,
pray about it, and move forward
00:52:46.23\00:52:49.16
based on your situation.
00:52:49.16\00:52:50.23
Because the bottom line
is nobody has walked in your
00:52:50.30\00:52:52.87
identical shoes.
00:52:52.87\00:52:53.87
So they don't really know.
00:52:53.87\00:52:55.34
They don't really understand.
00:52:55.37\00:52:56.47
But it's important also to
not hold it against that person
00:52:56.87\00:52:59.44
because often we just say
things without thinking we've
00:52:59.44\00:53:02.34
all done that.
00:53:02.34\00:53:03.24
And so, yeah, we just move
forward and let God be our our
00:53:03.55\00:53:08.02
ultimate guide.
00:53:08.02\00:53:09.05
And like that?
00:53:10.29\00:53:11.42
I would agree with that.
00:53:11.75\00:53:13.09
People are going to give their
advice, but just say thank you
00:53:13.42\00:53:16.76
and take it to God in prayer
if you think it's something that
00:53:16.76\00:53:19.76
needs prayer or maybe it's
something that you've battled
00:53:19.76\00:53:22.13
with already with God and
you already know the answer.
00:53:22.13\00:53:24.57
But, you know, be polite and
And sometimes he will use other
00:53:24.70\00:53:27.87
people to teach you things.
00:53:27.87\00:53:29.20
So it's important
to at least listen.
00:53:29.30\00:53:30.91
So what is helpful, like in
your situation, Fottini, what
00:53:32.21\00:53:35.04
would be helpful
for someone to say?
00:53:35.04\00:53:36.75
Or would it be like Fottini,
we're just praying for you and
00:53:38.25\00:53:41.38
we're here for you?
00:53:41.38\00:53:42.58
Or would it be like, have
you researched this on YouTube?
00:53:42.62\00:53:44.92
And have you listened to this?
00:53:45.25\00:53:46.72
Like, what is helpful?
00:53:47.06\00:53:48.19
I don't know if that's
putting you on the spot.
00:53:49.39\00:53:50.69
No, no, not at all.
00:53:50.69\00:53:51.86
One thing that it wouldn't
necessarily be something that
00:53:52.33\00:53:55.13
one says, more so what one does.
00:53:55.13\00:53:57.40
I think one thing that I never
really appreciated was people
00:53:58.20\00:54:01.70
talking to me about
Artemis while she was there.
00:54:01.70\00:54:06.11
So if you're going to interact
with the person, interact with
00:54:06.78\00:54:11.11
the person.
00:54:11.11\00:54:14.88
included and
treated like anybody else.
00:54:14.88\00:54:20.02
So that's good that I would
have found that helpful from a
00:54:21.42\00:54:25.66
lot of people.
00:54:25.66\00:54:26.33
And even, you know, parents
with children on the spectrum,
00:54:27.20\00:54:33.07
they know, they see
what their kid is doing.
00:54:33.50\00:54:36.20
Don't point out to them that
their kid is having a tantrum.
00:54:38.01\00:54:41.31
They know that.
00:54:41.51\00:54:42.34
And the best thing that you can
do at the time is just nothing.
00:54:43.41\00:54:50.22
Well, since we're talking about
it, sometimes specifically in
00:54:51.42\00:54:55.29
your situation, Artemis
would do something and I would
00:54:55.29\00:54:58.56
chuckle.
00:54:58.56\00:54:59.36
And a lot of people would
chuckle because it's funny, but
00:54:59.83\00:55:03.03
I don't know if
that's offensive to you.
00:55:03.03\00:55:05.73
No, no, no, not at all.
00:55:05.73\00:55:08.40
No, that's a good question.
00:55:08.74\00:55:09.84
She's so sweet.
00:55:10.14\00:55:10.97
Yeah, she is.
00:55:11.17\00:55:11.87
She's very kind and loving.
00:55:12.27\00:55:13.44
And you're
doing a wonderful job.
00:55:13.68\00:55:15.08
You are.
00:55:15.08\00:55:16.08
Yeah, I love her.
00:55:16.34\00:55:17.48
She's so sweet.
00:55:17.51\00:55:21.15
always so smiling and happy.
00:55:21.15\00:55:22.85
I never see her sad.
00:55:23.12\00:55:24.89
She's very sweet and happy.
00:55:25.12\00:55:26.82
And then the ones that
nothing's wrong, they're all
00:55:27.06\00:55:28.96
miserable.
00:55:28.96\00:55:29.26
She always comes
over and says hi to me.
00:55:32.16\00:55:34.46
She's precious.
00:55:34.46\00:55:35.56
She really is.
00:55:35.83\00:55:36.46
You're doing a good job.
00:55:36.67\00:55:37.37
You see how I say
she raises me well.
00:55:37.77\00:55:39.37
I look at that and I'm
like, I need to do that.
00:55:39.97\00:55:42.30
And she loves God.
00:55:43.27\00:55:44.34
You can see that in her.
00:55:44.44\00:55:45.51
Amen.
00:55:45.54\00:55:46.31
I actually have a
testimony to that.
00:55:46.41\00:55:48.24
I'm not sure if
this is the right time.
00:55:48.34\00:55:50.68
But so Artemis has had to
struggle with like gluten and
00:55:51.61\00:55:57.32
dairy intolerance for most
of her life and also that and
00:55:57.32\00:56:02.49
given her and struggled to
understand abstract concepts
00:56:02.49\00:56:06.73
like God and spirituality
and all of that stuff.
00:56:06.73\00:56:10.03
God has really demonstrated his
existence and love and care for
00:56:11.13\00:56:15.04
her through very tangible ways.
00:56:15.04\00:56:16.91
And one of them is curing her
of something that she struggled
00:56:16.97\00:56:21.34
with healthwise
for a very long time.
00:56:21.34\00:56:23.98
And that was very immediate
to her where she understood God
00:56:24.01\00:56:27.75
helps.
00:56:27.75\00:56:28.38
And it was just
changed her after that.
00:56:29.02\00:56:31.85
So I hope I
didn't go too off topic.
00:56:31.85\00:56:34.02
That's beautiful.
00:56:35.06\00:56:36.12
We're coming down to
the end of this hour.
00:56:36.52\00:56:38.46
And so then we're going to put
a pause on your story here and
00:56:38.69\00:56:42.43
pick it up at the start of
the second hour because there's
00:56:42.43\00:56:44.80
still so much more
to share about that.
00:56:44.80\00:56:46.77
I so appreciate all of
you ladies for sharing.
00:56:47.20\00:56:49.57
And it's so insightful just
to see how it looks in someone
00:56:49.57\00:56:53.78
else's world, you know,
and what we can do as Christian
00:56:53.78\00:56:57.45
women to support each other,
to pray for each other, to take
00:56:57.45\00:57:02.35
that time, to truly
understand each other.
00:57:02.35\00:57:05.32
You know, sometimes we get
involved in our own world and
00:57:05.42\00:57:08.39
our own things.
00:57:08.39\00:57:09.29
At least I do that sometimes.
00:57:09.59\00:57:10.76
And you forget, you know, to
reach outside of yourself and
00:57:10.83\00:57:14.76
to reach into someone else's
world and offer that support or
00:57:14.76\00:57:17.73
that prayer.
00:57:17.73\00:57:18.30
So it's really powerful.
00:57:18.50\00:57:20.14
I've been
blessed this first hour.
00:57:20.20\00:57:21.54
We have a whole bunch
more coming up the second hour.
00:57:21.84\00:57:24.87
More from Fottini.
00:57:25.14\00:57:26.37
We're going to hear from Sasha
on parenting as well as Terri
00:57:26.37\00:57:26.41
and mentoring younger woman
and then what it looks like in
00:57:30.75\00:57:35.42
ministry.
00:57:35.42\00:57:35.82
So don't go anywhere.
00:57:36.08\00:57:36.89
We will be right back
with your 3ABN Ladies Night.
00:57:37.25\00:57:40.62