Hello 00:00:02.66\00:00:03.23 and welcome to the second hour of 3ABN Live. 00:00:10.24\00:00:13.11 I'm Shelley Quinn. 00:00:13.31\00:00:14.01 And I'm JD Quinn. 00:00:14.24\00:00:19.48 Peters. 00:00:19.48\00:00:19.91 And Cherie, if you've been watching 3ABN over the last 20 00:00:20.68\00:00:24.55 years, you saw her on Teen Pathways celebrating life and 00:00:24.55\00:00:28.06 recovery, and now we are going to do a new series with her 00:00:28.06\00:00:32.36 that's going to be recorded soon, and it is going to be an 00:00:32.36\00:00:36.16 amazing series. 00:00:36.16\00:00:37.00 Celebrating life, colon, healing after, beyond trauma, 00:00:38.93\00:00:44.17 healing beyond trauma. 00:00:44.41\00:00:46.21 Cherie, tell us very quickly. 00:00:46.74\00:00:48.31 I mean, the first hour just flew. 00:00:48.44\00:00:50.08 Your story is so poignant, it's so emotional. 00:00:50.31\00:00:55.42 But we're talking tonight about drowning in dopamine, how the 00:00:55.42\00:01:01.56 whole world, there's so many things. 00:01:01.56\00:01:04.03 Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that affects the pain and 00:01:04.06\00:01:10.30 pleasure or reward sides of our brain. 00:01:10.30\00:01:13.40 God intended us, we saw like the seesaw, if you're taking 00:01:13.40\00:01:18.37 drugs, oh man, you get a dopamine surge, but then the 00:01:18.37\00:01:23.04 body wants to bring you back into balance. 00:01:23.04\00:01:25.61 And so this seesaw, instead of when you come off of those 00:01:25.95\00:01:30.59 drugs or shopping or you're gaming, whatever it is, then 00:01:30.59\00:01:34.52 all of a sudden you have a dopamine crash and you're in 00:01:34.52\00:01:38.66 pain, you're withdrawals. 00:01:38.66\00:01:40.33 God wants you to stay in balance, and we're going to 00:01:40.33\00:01:44.43 talk about that. 00:01:44.43\00:01:45.63 Even what some countries have figured out with research, like 00:01:45.63\00:01:50.54 France especially, that if you give devices to kids too young, 00:01:50.54\00:01:55.28 that their brain will not develop normally, and to have a 00:01:55.88\00:01:59.55 normal response to joy or pleasure, they will be on drugs 00:01:59.55\00:02:03.49 the rest of their life. 00:02:03.49\00:02:04.59 So that it doesn't correct itself if you start these 00:02:04.59\00:02:08.09 devices too early because of that pleasure center and that 00:02:08.09\00:02:11.06 pleasure pathway. 00:02:11.06\00:02:11.83 So it's like they've passed laws, you cannot program gaming 00:02:12.26\00:02:16.56 or devices to children 6 years old and under because of that 00:02:16.56\00:02:20.34 research. 00:02:20.34\00:02:25.31 and most of us have the ability to find pleasure again. 00:02:25.31\00:02:28.28 Like there's a book that I love, it's called Thrill to 00:02:28.58\00:02:32.35 Death and Archibald Hart. 00:02:32.35\00:02:33.98 It was an amazing book. 00:02:34.02\00:02:35.18 And what he says is that you get dopamine rushes too much 00:02:35.22\00:02:38.92 and you chase them and you get them higher and higher and 00:02:38.92\00:02:41.12 higher. 00:02:41.12\00:02:44.56 more, is that your pleasure center gets so exhausted that 00:02:44.56\00:02:48.53 it flatlines. 00:02:48.53\00:02:53.80 melatonin, all the stuff that comes off of that stops coming 00:02:53.80\00:02:57.67 off of that and you don't feel anything and you don't get to 00:02:57.67\00:03:00.81 the frontal lobe. 00:03:00.81\00:03:03.98 So you're not using self -control, common sense, you're 00:03:04.01\00:03:07.22 not going to your spiritual part of your brain. 00:03:07.22\00:03:09.28 And so the brain is really tied up in what we do with our 00:03:09.28\00:03:14.62 pleasure seeking and we end up with what's called an 00:03:14.62\00:03:17.86 anhedonistic disorder. 00:03:17.86\00:03:19.29 So hedonism is a seeker after pleasure. 00:03:19.83\00:03:21.96 I'm doing everything to find that pleasure, to chase the 00:03:22.30\00:03:25.10 dopamine, to chase that. 00:03:25.10\00:03:26.60 And all of a sudden I'm bored. 00:03:26.80\00:03:28.27 If I don't have a game, if I don't have something to go to, 00:03:28.27\00:03:32.01 I am bored to the point where I might as well kill myself. 00:03:32.31\00:03:36.04 Not because I'm depressed, but because I'm bored. 00:03:36.14\00:03:39.18 This life is just not worth it. 00:03:39.28\00:03:41.12 And we don't realize that there's something we can do, 00:03:41.28\00:03:44.12 but we cannot ignore the fact that you can't keep pushing 00:03:44.12\00:03:47.86 that pleasure center up. 00:03:47.86\00:03:48.92 You can't keep pushing that dopamine up because your body 00:03:49.19\00:03:52.36 will come into a balance and crash. 00:03:52.36\00:03:54.86 And we're all at risk because it's all around us and we don't 00:03:54.86\00:03:59.13 realize. 00:03:59.13\00:04:02.44 some trauma and still going through some physical trauma. 00:04:02.44\00:04:06.78 And there's one thing that I found that at the end of the 00:04:07.31\00:04:12.35 day, I'll sit down and I play this little word game. 00:04:12.35\00:04:15.65 And it just thrills me because sometimes I feel like with 00:04:15.65\00:04:21.76 what's going on that am I even functioning normally? 00:04:21.76\00:04:25.06 And I'm very good at it, very fast. 00:04:25.13\00:04:26.90 You almost feel normal. 00:04:26.90\00:04:27.76 And you know what? 00:04:27.93\00:04:32.00 you go through it so fast. 00:04:32.00\00:04:33.17 And it's like, mm-hmm. 00:04:33.57\00:04:34.60 And then sometimes I have to cheat and can't find the last 00:04:34.80\00:04:37.61 word. 00:04:37.61\00:04:39.07 And I'm going, no, I'm not good. 00:04:39.11\00:04:40.44 You know, that was bad. 00:04:40.58\00:04:47.45 important to me. 00:04:47.45\00:04:48.42 And so we're all at risk for this. 00:04:49.48\00:04:52.09 Don't think that you're not. 00:04:52.22\00:04:53.89 Remember, in this day and age, and we can't forget this, that 00:04:54.16\00:04:57.49 dopamine is the new currency. 00:04:57.49\00:04:59.83 So literally people are getting paid marketers, people that are 00:05:00.66\00:05:04.80 inventing ways to have food taste or ways to have games. 00:05:04.80\00:05:08.94 Hook us in or the lights and all of that kind of dopamine 00:05:08.94\00:05:13.24 inducing things are the new currency. 00:05:13.24\00:05:14.98 Once people realize they can make money by keeping somebody 00:05:15.18\00:05:19.61 geared towards whatever it is that they're seeking by 00:05:19.61\00:05:23.89 increasing their dopamine and not increasing the dopamine 00:05:23.89\00:05:26.72 straight up. 00:05:26.72\00:05:31.86 flashing of light will do something and your body 00:05:31.86\00:05:34.60 increases the dopamine. 00:05:34.60\00:05:35.83 So it's like that that it is a new currency. 00:05:35.83\00:05:38.30 It is what they're using, but people are using in order to 00:05:38.57\00:05:42.00 make money. 00:05:42.00\00:05:42.94 We want to take just a moment because this is a live program. 00:05:43.24\00:05:46.07 You want to tell them how they can. 00:05:46.14\00:05:47.88 Yes. 00:05:48.38\00:05:48.41 Yes. 00:05:49.11\00:05:55.15 Once again, live at three ABN dot TV. 00:05:55.58\00:05:58.22 It'll be at the bottom of your number. 00:05:58.32\00:05:59.62 And if you don't send something in, I just want to say hi. 00:05:59.72\00:06:02.89 Or if you want to text it is 618-228-3975 and send those 00:06:03.59\00:06:10.70 questions in. 00:06:10.70\00:06:11.67 And while we're taking a pause, let's talk about your before we 00:06:12.50\00:06:16.94 get any deeper and get into the questions. 00:06:16.94\00:06:18.61 Tell us about some of the resources that we have here at 00:06:18.77\00:06:22.24 three ABN. 00:06:22.24\00:06:25.41 Once is somebody asked me to write the story up in a book. 00:06:25.78\00:06:30.15 And so that's Miracle from the Street. 00:06:30.15\00:06:31.89 And so we wrote that up. 00:06:32.32\00:06:33.42 And it was a blessing to do. 00:06:33.46\00:06:35.29 Even though when I did the motorcycle scene where I got 00:06:35.39\00:06:39.39 kidnapped by the motorcycle gang, I went into a trauma 00:06:39.39\00:06:43.10 response for four months. 00:06:43.10\00:06:44.40 I couldn't feel my skin, literally out Marvin Moore. 00:06:44.60\00:06:48.30 I don't know if you remember him. 00:06:48.44\00:06:49.54 He was the editor of Signs of the Times. 00:06:49.64\00:06:51.17 He and a group got around me and just said, you're going to 00:06:51.44\00:06:54.98 get through this. 00:06:54.98\00:06:55.84 But so the Miracle from the Street book, if you. 00:06:56.04\00:06:58.75 So that was post traumatic stress syndrome. 00:06:58.75\00:07:01.18 I got retraumatized by just writing of it. 00:07:02.12\00:07:05.05 But what's really interesting to me is if you have someone 00:07:05.35\00:07:07.89 that's struggling in any way, it is just watching. 00:07:07.89\00:07:11.63 I think when you watch God work with anybody and God being so 00:07:12.09\00:07:15.50 faithful with that journey, this is really, I think, God's 00:07:15.50\00:07:18.73 story. 00:07:18.73\00:07:20.90 Then I saw Steps to Christ was amazing to me. 00:07:21.44\00:07:24.77 And I loved it. 00:07:24.77\00:07:27.34 But I couldn't give it to a lot of my friends that were not in 00:07:27.61\00:07:30.71 the church and they really didn't have a background to 00:07:30.71\00:07:33.92 understand the language that it was originally in. 00:07:33.92\00:07:36.42 So I got a number of addicts and we rewrote the entire 00:07:36.82\00:07:41.06 thing. 00:07:41.06\00:07:41.79 And we rewrote it by trying to keep it true to every line. 00:07:42.29\00:07:45.99 Because Ellen White, I believe, wrote Steps to Christ for a 00:07:46.29\00:07:48.96 temperance group. 00:07:48.96\00:07:52.37 And so we wrote it in that way. 00:07:52.53\00:07:54.14 So the first chapter, instead of being God is love, we put 00:07:54.14\00:07:57.21 God is crazy about you and can restore you to sanity. 00:07:57.21\00:08:00.28 So we rewrote it. 00:08:00.61\00:08:02.54 It has been accepted well into the people around. 00:08:03.21\00:08:06.95 And I put a girl covered with tattoos on the cover. 00:08:07.48\00:08:11.59 And the text is from Zephaniah. 00:08:11.95\00:08:13.82 And the text says that this person in heaven looks at 00:08:13.86\00:08:19.49 Jesus' hand, which is the only one with a mark on it, in all 00:08:19.49\00:08:23.16 of heaven. 00:08:23.16\00:08:25.90 And she said, What happened to your hand? 00:08:26.23\00:08:28.04 And he says, I was wounded in the house of my friends. 00:08:28.30\00:08:30.74 But he talks about the whole gospel story to somebody in 00:08:31.07\00:08:34.84 heaven. 00:08:34.84\00:08:38.48 you or God doesn't see you, that is not true. 00:08:38.48\00:08:40.85 So all of these are available at the call center. 00:08:41.52\00:08:44.52 God is crazy about you. 00:08:44.89\00:08:46.15 Can I say something? 00:08:46.19\00:08:47.39 Yes. 00:08:47.42\00:08:47.86 Before you go to God is crazy about you, when you were 00:08:48.69\00:08:51.36 talking about the vocabulary. 00:08:51.36\00:08:52.43 I remember when you were first doing Celebrating Life in 00:08:52.56\00:08:55.00 Recovery. 00:08:55.00\00:08:55.33 And this little lady called me from one of the coasts. 00:08:56.30\00:09:00.54 I won't say where, but anyway. 00:09:00.57\00:09:01.70 And she said, Honey, the material on Celebrating Life in 00:09:02.40\00:09:10.01 Recovery, she said, I can see where it's needed, but couldn't 00:09:10.01\00:09:13.42 you host it? 00:09:13.42\00:09:14.85 And I said, What? 00:09:14.85\00:09:16.99 You could tell me. 00:09:17.59\00:09:18.82 Yeah, but you know, because you had said, like you were telling 00:09:18.82\00:09:22.89 God, shut up. 00:09:22.89\00:09:25.19 So she said, she said, shut up to God. 00:09:25.53\00:09:28.23 And I said, you know, you're right. 00:09:28.50\00:09:30.43 I could host it. 00:09:30.47\00:09:32.03 And I said, and it would minister to you. 00:09:32.87\00:09:35.37 She was calling for her prayer group. 00:09:35.37\00:09:36.81 I said, it would minister to your prayer group, but it would 00:09:37.14\00:09:39.87 never reach the people on the streets we're trying to reach. 00:09:39.87\00:09:42.54 Because the vocabulary that we use in the Christian church, in 00:09:42.81\00:09:46.75 the vocabulary, you have always talked about when you started 00:09:46.75\00:09:49.85 coming to church, it shocked you that people talked about 00:09:49.85\00:09:52.35 the weather, you know. 00:09:52.35\00:09:53.46 All the time. 00:09:53.46\00:09:59.26 vernacular that they understand. 00:09:59.26\00:10:01.43 And that I understand. 00:10:02.23\00:10:03.37 So, you know, it literally is. 00:10:03.90\00:10:05.50 Even a lot of times I'll go out and present and I'll dress 00:10:05.87\00:10:09.84 pretty casual and somebody will say, you should dress up. 00:10:09.84\00:10:12.24 And I say, go to the mall and just see how many people are 00:10:12.37\00:10:15.48 dressed up. 00:10:15.48\00:10:19.05 just got to remember that. 00:10:19.05\00:10:20.08 And I think that as I grow up and as I mature in Christ, I 00:10:20.38\00:10:26.69 look cuter. 00:10:26.69\00:10:27.19 I dress better. 00:10:29.36\00:10:30.76 But you know, but it was important to me for that. 00:10:31.06\00:10:34.00 So that God is crazy about you is another one. 00:10:34.13\00:10:36.46 And this one I just got to say a little bit too is that I did 00:10:36.56\00:10:41.67 not think that God would use somebody like me ever. 00:10:41.67\00:10:44.87 And all of a sudden I get an invitation to Alaska. 00:10:44.87\00:10:48.04 And I remember feeling like I thought it was a friend 00:10:48.34\00:10:50.95 pranking me. 00:10:50.95\00:10:55.55 speak. 00:10:55.55\00:10:55.78 And it was. 00:10:56.08\00:10:56.72 And so they said, you know, how much do you charge to speak? 00:10:57.39\00:11:01.29 And I thought, are you kidding me? 00:11:01.36\00:11:02.42 They're going to pay me to talk about God? 00:11:02.42\00:11:04.96 Like I was so over the moon with that. 00:11:04.96\00:11:04.99 And I said, like a hundred bucks? 00:11:07.30\00:11:08.90 And they said, well, how much do you speak for a hundred 00:11:09.23\00:11:11.33 bucks? 00:11:11.33\00:11:11.83 And I said, I'm ADD. 00:11:11.87\00:11:12.77 I never shut up. 00:11:12.87\00:11:14.00 So at that point, they, of course, sent me a hundred bucks 00:11:14.00\00:11:16.57 right away and a contract. 00:11:16.57\00:11:17.84 And I go over there and I speak 16 times in four days. 00:11:18.24\00:11:21.51 It was overwhelming. 00:11:21.54\00:11:22.61 It was too much. 00:11:22.61\00:11:23.45 But at the very last of that time, I end up in a little 00:11:23.78\00:11:27.02 place called the Leknegik, Alaska. 00:11:27.02\00:11:28.88 And I meet a little girl that was 12. 00:11:29.22\00:11:31.22 She looked nine because she was so little. 00:11:31.29\00:11:33.36 And I meet a little girl that was in an abusive situation. 00:11:33.66\00:11:38.33 Her parents were in rehab. 00:11:38.76\00:11:39.69 Grandparents had Alzheimer's. 00:11:40.13\00:11:42.16 And she just came up to me and hugged me. 00:11:42.16\00:11:44.33 And she said, my life is like yours. 00:11:44.33\00:11:46.94 And I couldn't believe when she said that because I thought, no 00:11:47.17\00:11:50.17 way. 00:11:50.17\00:11:50.57 And she just held me for the longest time. 00:11:51.31\00:11:53.68 And I couldn't figure out what to say to her about that. 00:11:53.68\00:11:53.71 She was being sexually abused and all kinds of stuff was 00:11:56.98\00:11:59.55 happening. 00:11:59.55\00:12:00.12 And I said to her, you know, do you know everybody on this 00:12:00.78\00:12:05.22 island? 00:12:05.22\00:12:05.65 And she said, yes. 00:12:05.72\00:12:06.59 And I said, would you be my assistant? 00:12:06.62\00:12:08.79 And she said, I would. 00:12:09.46\00:12:10.83 And so we got to spend the whole time just ministering to 00:12:10.83\00:12:14.66 each other. 00:12:14.66\00:12:16.93 You can't adopt somebody. 00:12:16.97\00:12:17.97 You can't take them out of the situation. 00:12:18.03\00:12:19.67 And so I just wanted her to know that sometimes we're in a 00:12:20.07\00:12:26.37 situation where the abuse is horrendous, but you're going to 00:12:26.37\00:12:30.25 survive. 00:12:30.25\00:12:30.91 And sometimes that's the best we can say to somebody. 00:12:31.41\00:12:33.48 You're going to survive. 00:12:33.75\00:12:34.72 And there is a God. 00:12:34.78\00:12:35.75 And I am sorry for what you're going through. 00:12:35.78\00:12:38.29 I even remember yelling at God one time, like how did my dad 00:12:38.29\00:12:42.52 molested me from the time I was like a baby on, right? 00:12:42.52\00:12:46.39 And until I was four when he was kicked out. 00:12:46.46\00:12:48.33 So I was molested really early on. 00:12:48.36\00:12:50.83 And I said, God, how did you let that happen? 00:12:50.90\00:12:53.07 And He quietly said to me, I tried to convince your dad to 00:12:53.47\00:12:58.21 do anything else every day. 00:12:58.21\00:13:00.04 I stood in front of him every day. 00:13:00.44\00:13:02.54 The only way I could have stopped him is if I would have 00:13:02.78\00:13:05.41 killed him. 00:13:05.41\00:13:08.95 here. 00:13:08.95\00:13:13.36 recovery. 00:13:13.36\00:13:16.12 I tried to get him to deal with his drinking. 00:13:16.19\00:13:18.06 And so all of a sudden I realized that God was the only 00:13:18.33\00:13:20.70 innocent party there. 00:13:20.70\00:13:21.70 And I can't stay angry at God for what my dad did. 00:13:21.86\00:13:25.53 I have to put the blame on my father. 00:13:25.67\00:13:28.34 Amen. 00:13:28.60\00:13:31.07 I think that God has, with the heavenly counsels, allowed 00:13:31.07\00:13:37.85 Satan a short time. 00:13:37.85\00:13:39.71 And God will not cross over the boundaries of free will. 00:13:40.18\00:13:44.12 Like He said, He would have to kill your daddy. 00:13:44.32\00:13:46.89 You know, I don't know. 00:13:47.42\00:13:49.09 If you've been sexually abused, to me this is a big one. 00:13:49.59\00:13:54.63 It's a big one. 00:13:54.86\00:13:55.76 It's a big one. 00:13:55.86\00:13:57.07 But let me, you know, the Bible says that Christ was a man of 00:13:57.07\00:14:03.94 sorrows. 00:14:03.94\00:14:07.24 He suffered every temptation. 00:14:07.38\00:14:08.88 And you know, I used to think about that when He talks about 00:14:09.41\00:14:12.61 He's afflicted with our afflicted. 00:14:12.61\00:14:14.45 He understands. 00:14:14.55\00:14:15.52 He's a high priest who understands and sympathizes 00:14:15.65\00:14:19.52 with us. 00:14:19.52\00:14:20.36 And I thought, well, what about the sexual addiction? 00:14:20.62\00:14:22.89 You know, when somebody violates your innocence because 00:14:22.89\00:14:26.96 they thrust their sin upon you, Christ understands He hung on a 00:14:26.96\00:14:35.24 cross naked. 00:14:35.24\00:14:36.24 He was sinless. 00:14:37.01\00:14:38.31 His innocence was violated when the sins of the world were 00:14:39.04\00:14:46.25 thrust upon Him. 00:14:46.25\00:14:47.45 So He does understand. 00:14:47.82\00:14:49.48 And He's going to make it. 00:14:49.48\00:14:51.79 It's all going to be different. 00:14:51.79\00:14:53.32 Well, even when I remember like processing through some of that 00:14:53.79\00:14:58.59 trauma as a woman, and when all of a sudden God allowed me, He 00:14:58.59\00:15:03.90 said, I'll restore what the locust has destroyed. 00:15:03.90\00:15:06.43 Like I'll bring back to you what has been ripped from you. 00:15:06.53\00:15:10.81 And one day I remember just standing there. 00:15:11.07\00:15:13.14 I was standing I think in Moscow on Red Square going to 00:15:13.21\00:15:15.81 Nizhny Novgorod. 00:15:15.81\00:15:19.21 And so I'm standing in Red Square, this homeless kid out 00:15:19.21\00:15:22.55 of L.A. 00:15:22.55\00:15:23.45 and watching the sunset behind Onion Dome churches. 00:15:23.65\00:15:26.09 And God reminded me of all of the different things and not 00:15:26.22\00:15:29.46 everything. 00:15:29.46\00:15:32.99 here and I love you. 00:15:32.99\00:15:35.00 And so even for that what He says, I'll restore all of that. 00:15:35.26\00:15:38.33 So there is a thing that saying to God, I believe in those 00:15:38.37\00:15:43.94 promises and I believe that you will do that. 00:15:43.94\00:15:46.44 But the only way He can't do that is if we hold on to our 00:15:46.44\00:15:51.55 grief, if we hold on to our anger, our unforgiveness, our 00:15:51.55\00:15:55.22 resentments, because He just can't get through it. 00:15:55.22\00:15:57.59 It's almost like it's too dark. 00:15:57.62\00:15:59.19 Then I've got a question for you that's anonymous. 00:15:59.59\00:16:02.52 It's sent in. 00:16:02.79\00:16:03.69 Can talking about your expenses, experiences, thank 00:16:05.16\00:16:10.10 you, while healing help or hinder you? 00:16:10.10\00:16:14.97 You know what's really interesting about that? 00:16:14.97\00:16:16.97 Because research says, especially if you're a trauma 00:16:17.14\00:16:20.64 victim, especially CPTSC or childhood trauma, that talk 00:16:20.64\00:16:25.41 therapy actually is hurtful. 00:16:25.41\00:16:28.22 Not all therapies are hurtful, but some people that have been 00:16:28.95\00:16:32.72 through a lot of trauma, to relive those, we relive those 00:16:32.72\00:16:36.19 on such a significant level that it's hurtful. 00:16:36.19\00:16:39.36 I don't know if that's true for you, but it's true for a lot of 00:16:39.89\00:16:42.50 people. 00:16:42.50\00:16:47.84 today, figure out when I emotionally dysregulate, what 00:16:47.84\00:16:51.64 can I do to get myself back? 00:16:51.64\00:16:53.21 Explain that to people when you say that's just the come-apart. 00:16:53.21\00:16:56.18 When I emotionally dysregulate, all of a sudden I get 00:16:56.58\00:16:59.28 triggered, and everything feels like it's thrown into a fan and 00:16:59.28\00:17:03.59 it's all over the room. 00:17:03.59\00:17:04.95 I don't know where my feet are, I'm not making sense, my 00:17:05.15\00:17:09.82 writing changes, I feel numb. 00:17:09.82\00:17:11.76 When that happens, and I feel crazy, I feel irritable, I'm 00:17:11.76\00:17:17.50 irrational at times, I'm maybe even feeling like somebody is 00:17:17.50\00:17:21.50 actually trying to hurt me when they may not be, but all of 00:17:21.50\00:17:25.34 that happens and it's very real. 00:17:25.34\00:17:26.78 When I emotionally dysregulate, there's things that I can do 00:17:27.08\00:17:30.11 that's different than talk therapy. 00:17:30.11\00:17:31.91 The things I can do is ask myself what my feet are doing 00:17:32.11\00:17:36.42 right now. 00:17:36.42\00:17:36.99 Can I feel my feet on the chair? 00:17:37.45\00:17:39.25 Can I see the lights on the camera? 00:17:39.25\00:17:43.06 Can I hear somebody moving over here? 00:17:43.39\00:17:46.53 Can I hear the fan going and the air conditioning? 00:17:46.59\00:17:48.86 I start to get myself present in the room, and that literally 00:17:49.13\00:17:54.44 pulls the emotional dysregulation back, and I can 00:17:54.44\00:17:58.24 actually get back in my own skin. 00:17:58.24\00:17:59.84 There's things that I can learn to do that I can get a hold of 00:18:00.08\00:18:04.45 that dysregulation quicker, and there's all kinds of different 00:18:04.45\00:18:07.78 hacks that you can do, and talk therapy may not be one of them. 00:18:07.78\00:18:11.25 Some people go to talk therapy with a lot of trauma, and they 00:18:11.29\00:18:14.52 come out feeling worse, like they can come out and even kill 00:18:14.52\00:18:18.36 themselves. 00:18:18.36\00:18:23.23 there's not something you can do because there's things that 00:18:23.23\00:18:25.80 you can do. 00:18:25.80\00:18:26.53 Support groups, sometimes going... 00:18:27.10\00:18:29.87 We wrote a 14-week program from our last program just teaching 00:18:29.87\00:18:36.61 people how to connect because sometimes connection and coming 00:18:36.61\00:18:40.65 out of hiding is actually more healing than anything else. 00:18:40.65\00:18:44.72 I can come out to connect with a group and hear what they've 00:18:44.82\00:18:47.96 been through, and even though it's different than what I've 00:18:47.96\00:18:51.29 been through, my heart says, man, I understand that. 00:18:51.29\00:18:54.56 It resonates. 00:18:54.76\00:18:56.00 So it resonates with me, and so sometimes getting into a group, 00:18:56.00\00:18:59.40 the first group I got into, Shelley, was a knitting group 00:19:00.07\00:19:03.27 because I just didn't feel like I could go to a support group, 00:19:03.27\00:19:08.14 but God was telling me, you've got to get around people, and I 00:19:08.44\00:19:11.35 didn't read well enough to do a Bible study, so I just went to 00:19:11.35\00:19:15.35 a knitting group, and I remember listening to these 00:19:15.35\00:19:17.55 women laugh and hang out with each other, and that was 00:19:17.55\00:19:20.92 healing to me. 00:19:20.92\00:19:21.79 So it's just connection. 00:19:21.96\00:19:23.19 We've disconnected in our trauma, and we've got the 00:19:23.19\00:19:27.10 privilege of reconnecting in our recovery, and I promise 00:19:27.10\00:19:30.97 you, this next program that we're doing every week, we're 00:19:30.97\00:19:34.87 going to cover an aspect of trauma and definitely that 00:19:34.87\00:19:37.91 reconnecting or being able to see each other and have value 00:19:37.91\00:19:42.01 in just the seeing of each other, not so much that I'm 00:19:42.01\00:19:45.68 going to have an answer for you because some of the... 00:19:45.68\00:19:48.02 I've been molested since I was three months old. 00:19:48.02\00:19:50.15 Who has an answer to that? 00:19:50.22\00:19:51.52 There's no answer to that, and even though some people may 00:19:51.52\00:19:54.76 want to give me an answer, the only thing I can say is, God, 00:19:54.76\00:19:58.29 please cover this. 00:19:59.16\00:20:01.06 Now, you held up this resource, but for people who are 00:20:01.26\00:20:05.00 listening on the radio, talk about the recorded group 00:20:05.00\00:20:11.21 resource kit. 00:20:11.21\00:20:12.14 So the group... 00:20:12.34\00:20:13.71 In fact, they just did it out of... 00:20:13.71\00:20:15.94 They did the 14-week program from Trinidad, Tobago, and 00:20:15.94\00:20:20.28 Florida, and I think had, at one point, had 90 baptisms 00:20:20.28\00:20:24.02 because all it does is literally every week, you go in 00:20:24.02\00:20:27.86 and you watch a small clip of the program that we did on 00:20:27.86\00:20:30.83 somebody that we interviewed that had a trauma story that 00:20:30.83\00:20:35.86 really walked through that, and then we break into a small 00:20:35.86\00:20:39.27 group. 00:20:39.27\00:20:39.77 If there's 30 people in your group, we break into small 00:20:40.44\00:20:43.30 groups of five to seven, and then we talk about what we just 00:20:43.30\00:20:46.68 saw and has that interfered, like has anybody robbed you and 00:20:46.68\00:20:51.11 has anybody interfered with your ability to recover now, 00:20:51.11\00:20:54.15 and we talk about that with each other, and in the sharing 00:20:54.18\00:20:57.35 with each other and seeing each other and looking at each 00:20:57.35\00:21:00.36 other, it is amazing the healing that happens. 00:21:00.36\00:21:03.22 It's unbelievable, and so it's not that it's not a therapy 00:21:03.39\00:21:07.40 group, it's not a group where somebody's going to give you an 00:21:07.40\00:21:10.33 answer, even a biblical answer, it's just a group where you're 00:21:10.33\00:21:13.80 going to do... 00:21:13.80\00:21:14.57 It's called friendship ministry. 00:21:14.57\00:21:15.80 You're going to form friendships with people that 00:21:15.80\00:21:19.01 are walking in a recovery journey, and it's powerful. 00:21:19.01\00:21:22.48 The program is being used in different parts of the world. 00:21:23.18\00:21:26.95 If you want a copy of it, man, just call the call center, and 00:21:27.25\00:21:31.39 it's an easy one to run, but what's really interesting to me 00:21:31.39\00:21:35.22 is the reason I did this is most people were doing recovery 00:21:35.22\00:21:38.43 groups where you were talking about heroin or sexual 00:21:38.43\00:21:42.03 addictions or alcohol, but my problem, even though I was in a 00:21:42.03\00:21:46.63 heroin addict, my problem was I didn't know how to connect. 00:21:46.63\00:21:49.50 I didn't understand what friendship was, and I so longed 00:21:49.80\00:21:52.51 for it, and so this program is based on being able to talk 00:21:52.51\00:21:57.15 about those things, but being able to connect and friendship 00:21:57.15\00:22:00.35 on that journey, and it's just powerful. 00:22:00.35\00:22:03.25 It's powerful. 00:22:03.42\00:22:04.49 And let me mention this real quick because you did mention 00:22:04.65\00:22:06.69 the call center. 00:22:06.69\00:22:10.36 like to recovery group resource kit, I know that we've used it 00:22:10.36\00:22:14.56 here at our church at Thompsonville. 00:22:14.56\00:22:16.00 It was very successful, but if you want to call the call 00:22:16.10\00:22:19.47 center, it's 618-627-4651. 00:22:19.47\00:22:25.04 Now, that'll get you to the call center. 00:22:25.84\00:22:27.48 Not tonight, though. 00:22:28.14\00:22:29.18 They're closed in the morning. 00:22:29.48\00:22:30.61 Yes, but if you want to text us, it's 618-228-3975, and 00:22:30.61\00:22:37.99 perhaps you'd like to e-mail it live at 3ABN.tv. 00:22:37.99\00:22:41.56 That's the last time. 00:22:42.66\00:22:43.32 And if you do the steps to Christ, make sure you e-mail 00:22:44.13\00:22:48.76 3ABN and let me know what you think. 00:22:48.76\00:22:50.53 I'm so...I just was... 00:22:50.83\00:22:52.83 Or e-mail you at TrueStepOffice at gmail.com. 00:22:52.83\00:22:59.64 TrueStepOffice at gmail.com. 00:23:01.68\00:23:03.48 It was the coolest thing I've ever done, and even at one 00:23:03.51\00:23:06.78 point when I was working with the General Conference, because 00:23:06.78\00:23:09.52 they hired me with Mission for the Cities, that the Ellen 00:23:09.52\00:23:12.55 White Estates read this and then asked me if they could put 00:23:12.55\00:23:15.39 it right next to the original in the Ellen White Estates. 00:23:15.39\00:23:17.83 Tell them what. 00:23:17.83\00:23:17.86 So, to me, at first, when I called and said, Can I do this? 00:23:19.06\00:23:23.26 And they said, Who is this? 00:23:23.30\00:23:24.37 And I said, Well, I'm a heroin addict in recovery. 00:23:24.40\00:23:26.07 They went, I don't know. 00:23:26.17\00:23:28.90 Make sure you put your name on it. 00:23:29.54\00:23:31.47 But after it was read, it was very much received well. 00:23:31.64\00:23:35.61 Let me read this. 00:23:35.94\00:23:36.54 Hi, Cherie, I love your programs. 00:23:36.95\00:23:38.48 They're synonymous. 00:23:38.81\00:23:39.65 Another one is, Kent, what was the title of the book on 00:23:40.25\00:23:44.45 dopamine that Cherie mentioned? 00:23:44.45\00:23:46.29 Dopamine Nation. 00:23:46.79\00:23:47.62 That's Dopamine Nation. 00:23:48.46\00:23:49.99 Yeah, Dopamine Nation, and it is... 00:23:50.23\00:23:52.46 And tell us about Dr. Limke, who... 00:23:52.46\00:23:54.63 So, Dr. Limke is... 00:23:54.63\00:23:56.73 She is somebody that has done a lot of research on dopamine in 00:23:56.73\00:24:01.47 the brain and what it does. 00:24:01.47\00:24:02.94 And I think for a lot of people, over the years, we felt 00:24:03.24\00:24:05.97 talk therapy is going to be the answer. 00:24:05.97\00:24:07.84 We thought that we didn't understand what happens to the 00:24:08.51\00:24:12.65 brain when you over-stimulate it with dopamine, when you 00:24:12.65\00:24:15.25 chase pleasure, and then what happens to the crash that 00:24:15.25\00:24:18.65 happens when all of a sudden pain is what you feel and 00:24:18.65\00:24:21.52 withdraw. 00:24:21.52\00:24:26.23 happens. 00:24:26.23\00:24:26.53 And her research is incredible. 00:24:28.16\00:24:31.30 The book, Dopamine Nation, is incredible in that it will take 00:24:31.87\00:24:35.30 you through healing in a very real way. 00:24:35.30\00:24:37.61 And there's even... 00:24:37.84\00:24:38.97 What happens in the brain is incredible, but we have a 00:24:38.97\00:24:41.64 diagram that I want you to look at. 00:24:41.64\00:24:43.24 It's a nerve that runs from the base of your brain through your 00:24:43.88\00:24:48.68 ears, through your neck, through your heart, and to your 00:24:48.68\00:24:52.12 gut. 00:24:52.12\00:24:52.65 And it's called the vagal nerve. 00:24:52.92\00:24:54.29 And that nerve, if we're damaged, it gets all messed up. 00:24:54.52\00:25:00.13 And so your gut's messed up. 00:25:00.50\00:25:01.93 And in your gut, your gut makes serotonin, not your brain. 00:25:02.03\00:25:05.13 A lot of people don't know that. 00:25:05.23\00:25:06.53 So the very thing that is going to make you feel good, some of 00:25:06.77\00:25:10.47 the antidepressants, the very thing is made in your gut and 00:25:10.47\00:25:13.78 then passes into the brain. 00:25:13.78\00:25:16.11 And so all of that vagal nerve makes a difference. 00:25:16.51\00:25:20.02 And so when somebody says, I want to heal from trauma, but 00:25:20.12\00:25:22.85 they don't take care of these things, the homeostatic thing 00:25:22.85\00:25:26.72 with the dopamine and the vagal nerve reset, is what they call 00:25:26.72\00:25:30.39 it, that you're fighting against your own body because 00:25:30.39\00:25:33.23 your own body remembers the trauma, holds onto the trauma, 00:25:33.23\00:25:36.80 and there's things that you can do to actually relax a little 00:25:37.07\00:25:40.57 bit, have that vagal nerve relax, and your gut then 00:25:40.57\00:25:44.14 relaxes, of course your heart relaxes, and all of those 00:25:44.14\00:25:47.71 organs they're finding communicate with each other. 00:25:47.71\00:25:50.98 You know? 00:25:52.08\00:25:56.72 well published, about the second brain is the gut. 00:25:56.72\00:26:01.26 Yeah. 00:26:01.26\00:26:03.63 You know, you've heard people say, well, I just got a gut 00:26:03.76\00:26:09.13 feeling about something. 00:26:09.13\00:26:10.43 Well, pay attention to your gut feelings because it sometimes, 00:26:10.90\00:26:14.54 the vagal nerve is picking up signals that maybe the frontal 00:26:14.70\00:26:19.11 lobe didn't pick up. 00:26:19.11\00:26:20.78 And even the Bible says in some places, the heart feels, or the 00:26:20.78\00:26:24.68 heart says. 00:26:24.68\00:26:25.28 We think it's just a nice same. 00:26:26.15\00:26:28.18 I think when we find God, when we actually are sitting with 00:26:28.32\00:26:31.02 Him, I think He's like, no, they communicate. 00:26:31.02\00:26:35.06 And that's what the newest research is, is that the heart 00:26:35.49\00:26:38.89 is the third, they're finding out heart has memory, so the 00:26:38.89\00:26:42.10 heart is the third brain. 00:26:42.10\00:26:43.83 So when we forget those things, like when somebody says, how do 00:26:44.17\00:26:48.94 I reset? 00:26:48.94\00:26:49.77 If I've been chasing dopamine, I've been drowning in dopamine, 00:26:50.17\00:26:52.91 I've been so afraid to deal with this other stuff, how do I 00:26:53.17\00:26:56.04 reset? 00:26:56.04\00:27:00.72 breaths, get outside, take a walk without your phone. 00:27:00.72\00:27:03.85 You know, people say, without my phone, are you kidding me? 00:27:05.19\00:27:07.66 But without your phone, get into some art, like I am really 00:27:07.82\00:27:12.73 getting into art and watercolor stuff. 00:27:12.73\00:27:14.56 When I go home this summer, I'm learning to sail, like you 00:27:14.56\00:27:18.50 can't take your phone with you. 00:27:18.50\00:27:19.83 So it's like being able to say, if I'm getting too much 00:27:20.10\00:27:23.71 dopamine here, how can I get it naturally and how can I get it 00:27:23.71\00:27:27.94 without having that rush? 00:27:27.94\00:27:29.61 And we're going to tie this back into the God of the Bible 00:27:30.01\00:27:33.72 here in a moment, but first, Dr. Limke makes a suggestion in 00:27:33.72\00:27:40.16 her book that you've got to go for abstinence. 00:27:40.16\00:27:45.49 Talk about the abstinence process. 00:27:45.56\00:27:47.76 So let's say that I am online all the time, like I'm 00:27:47.93\00:27:53.47 scrolling, I'm on Facebook, I'm on Instagram, I'm on all of 00:27:53.47\00:27:59.27 those kind of things all the time, and that's where I'm 00:27:59.27\00:28:01.38 getting all my dopamine from, because you can get a severe 00:28:01.38\00:28:04.35 depression if you're doing that. 00:28:04.35\00:28:06.15 I don't know if anybody else has felt that, I'm sure they 00:28:07.92\00:28:11.42 have, but it's like the crash on those and that sense of when 00:28:11.42\00:28:14.96 you're away from that, that sense of being disconnected, I 00:28:14.96\00:28:19.13 mean, that's very real. 00:28:19.13\00:28:19.89 So what she says is 30 days, go abstinence. 00:28:20.06\00:28:23.87 So like 30 days, don't go online at all. 00:28:24.00\00:28:27.84 And some people say, there's no way I can do that. 00:28:28.20\00:28:30.41 How about two weeks? 00:28:30.54\00:28:32.87 I can't do that, how about a week? 00:28:33.01\00:28:34.44 And then she will tell people even 24 hours, but if you go 30 00:28:34.48\00:28:38.41 days, you get your frontal lobes back, you get those 00:28:38.41\00:28:41.92 pleasure centers operating not fully yet, because that takes a 00:28:41.92\00:28:45.55 little bit more time, but you get that operating, and you 00:28:45.55\00:28:49.06 start to feel joy, you start to feel hope, you start to feel 00:28:49.06\00:28:52.76 connected again, and so what you have to do is whatever is 00:28:52.76\00:28:56.46 hijacking you and hijacking your pleasure centers, you step 00:28:56.46\00:29:00.14 away from that. 00:29:00.14\00:29:05.47 religion addictively, and even religion that can be done 00:29:05.47\00:29:08.84 addictively, and you can't step away from God, but you can ask 00:29:08.84\00:29:12.41 God to bring it into a balance. 00:29:12.41\00:29:14.08 So you really have to say, what has hijacked me, and how do I 00:29:14.32\00:29:17.85 get a good balance? 00:29:17.85\00:29:18.79 And am I willing, and that's the thing, am I willing to 00:29:19.02\00:29:23.59 fight for myself? 00:29:23.59\00:29:24.83 Am I willing to fight for myself to just get in my own 00:29:25.23\00:29:28.70 skin again? 00:29:28.70\00:29:33.20 doing this, it's so worth it. 00:29:33.20\00:29:34.64 It is so worth it. 00:29:34.70\00:29:35.97 We want to get to a few more questions, and thank you for 00:29:36.94\00:29:39.74 the questions you're sending in, and I want to tell you that 00:29:39.74\00:29:42.11 these, your names will be brought up in the prayer, in 00:29:42.11\00:29:46.18 our pastoral department, and prayed over these, this coming 00:29:46.18\00:29:49.78 week, but here's AJ saying, what is the best self-care to 00:29:49.78\00:29:56.06 take after narcissistic abuse? 00:29:56.06\00:29:58.76 My heart just goes out, AJ, narcissistic abuse is so crazy 00:30:00.16\00:30:05.50 -making, because everything in you starts to doubt everything 00:30:05.50\00:30:11.24 in you. 00:30:11.24\00:30:16.04 abuse, you're always fighting to kind of prove yourself, or 00:30:16.04\00:30:19.55 to, you over-explain, you know, there's so many different 00:30:19.55\00:30:23.18 things that happen. 00:30:23.18\00:30:23.95 So my feeling with narcissistic abuse is definitely a support 00:30:24.42\00:30:31.09 group, therapy, for sure, but I think a support group is 00:30:31.09\00:30:37.17 actually even better than therapy, is that somebody that 00:30:37.17\00:30:39.87 has those relationship addictions, or relationship 00:30:39.87\00:30:43.30 abuses, and that can, you can hear one story after another 00:30:43.30\00:30:46.71 after another, and with narcissism, a good narcissist, 00:30:46.71\00:30:51.35 and I've met them, a good narcissist will have you 00:30:51.55\00:30:55.02 question everything about you. 00:30:55.02\00:30:56.38 It's gaslighting. 00:30:56.38\00:30:58.19 You'll be gaslit. 00:30:58.65\00:30:59.79 There's no empathy. 00:31:00.12\00:31:01.82 I remember just, I hate, I won't even story-tell, because 00:31:03.26\00:31:07.66 I could tell lots of stories, but even we're at the end of 00:31:07.66\00:31:12.07 those relationships, you are even asking yourself, am I the 00:31:12.07\00:31:16.20 narcissist, and a good therapist will say if you're 00:31:16.20\00:31:18.74 asking that, more than likely you are not, but everything is 00:31:18.74\00:31:22.98 questioned. 00:31:22.98\00:31:26.58 perception, you begin to be defensive, over-explaining is 00:31:26.58\00:31:32.49 something that you will try to kind of defend yourself, and 00:31:32.49\00:31:36.32 you over-explain, instead of just yes or no, you've got to 00:31:36.32\00:31:39.19 explain why, and that takes a while to get back in your own 00:31:39.19\00:31:43.00 skin. 00:31:43.00\00:31:46.97 don't do it on your own. 00:31:46.97\00:31:47.94 There's many people, even like me, that will totally 00:31:48.20\00:31:51.17 understand what you're saying. 00:31:51.17\00:31:52.27 Don't get your advice from somebody that's never been 00:31:52.27\00:31:55.64 around a narcissist, because they will maybe place the blame 00:31:55.64\00:31:59.58 back on you, and you don't need that right now. 00:31:59.58\00:32:02.12 And here's what I want to say, if you think that you may be in 00:32:02.25\00:32:09.32 a narcissistic relationship, do your research, educate 00:32:09.32\00:32:14.03 yourself, if you even have a little hint, and then, like you 00:32:14.03\00:32:17.63 said, you can go on, because I have a friend who's been 00:32:17.63\00:32:20.97 through this, and it's the talk, the group sessions that 00:32:20.97\00:32:25.74 she keeps hearing these women who've been through it for so 00:32:25.74\00:32:29.94 many more years than she has, and she recognizes her own 00:32:29.94\00:32:34.05 behavior. 00:32:34.05\00:32:37.72 powerful woman, but she lost herself completely. 00:32:37.72\00:32:40.29 Literally, I remember seeing her at the end of that 00:32:40.96\00:32:43.46 relationship, and I thought she was a shell of a person, and 00:32:43.46\00:32:46.59 now she's gaining all of that back, but it's really tough, 00:32:46.59\00:32:50.00 because you can, in those relationships, feel like you 00:32:50.13\00:32:53.67 lose yourself completely. 00:32:53.67\00:32:54.90 But you don't. 00:32:55.94\00:32:57.07 I mean, it's a feeling that you have, you've been gaslit, your 00:32:57.31\00:33:02.18 confidence is gone, your ability to even do the same 00:33:02.18\00:33:04.88 work that you've done your whole life, all of that kind of 00:33:04.88\00:33:07.02 stuff, but I promise you, step into a group, step into 00:33:07.02\00:33:10.35 recovery, see a therapist that deals with people with 00:33:10.35\00:33:14.02 narcissistic abuse, and one step at a time. 00:33:14.02\00:33:17.39 There's incredible YouTube videos, even, with people that 00:33:17.66\00:33:20.90 specialize in that with women, so literally go online and 00:33:20.90\00:33:24.87 start educating yourself, because it is the hardest one. 00:33:24.87\00:33:28.17 I shouldn't say that, I'm sorry. 00:33:28.60\00:33:30.37 They're all hard, but it is a very difficult one. 00:33:30.74\00:33:34.18 Let me read, here's two here where I want to read. 00:33:34.91\00:33:37.48 This is so needed. 00:33:38.88\00:33:40.08 Thank you for sharing with us, or with me, says. 00:33:40.18\00:33:43.62 And then this is a wonderful question. 00:33:43.62\00:33:47.32 What coping mechanism can you develop to avoid flashbacks 00:33:48.12\00:33:51.93 from your trauma? 00:33:51.93\00:33:53.40 You know, what's really interesting is the biggest 00:33:54.20\00:33:58.17 thing for me was when I realized that even the 00:33:58.17\00:34:02.04 flashback is not life threatening, that I'm no longer 00:34:02.04\00:34:06.54 a child, and I had to tell myself the truth about that. 00:34:06.54\00:34:09.51 There's the abuse, and then there's a cardiac strip that 00:34:11.68\00:34:15.02 comes off the abuse of all the things that we believe about 00:34:15.02\00:34:17.82 ourselves and about the world and about what happened. 00:34:17.82\00:34:20.16 And I have to start letting God challenge every one of those, 00:34:20.52\00:34:23.63 because it's not true. 00:34:24.09\00:34:25.29 The flashbacks are horrendous. 00:34:25.79\00:34:28.00 The flashbacks are in the past. 00:34:28.06\00:34:31.10 I'm not being abused today. 00:34:31.57\00:34:33.70 I'm no longer five or three or whatever the age of that 00:34:33.97\00:34:37.91 particular flashback is. 00:34:37.91\00:34:39.24 And so in the moment telling yourself the truth, and I know 00:34:39.51\00:34:42.11 that that's not helpful to some of these flashbacks, but the 00:34:42.11\00:34:47.25 truth is going to set you free. 00:34:47.25\00:34:48.65 Be with somebody again that has the same kind of abuses where 00:34:49.55\00:34:53.69 you can kind of be able to call each other like, this is not a 00:34:53.69\00:34:57.03 good day. 00:34:57.03\00:34:57.76 I am really struggling with these flashbacks. 00:34:58.06\00:35:00.20 This is, I feel in my skin. 00:35:00.40\00:35:03.00 Remember I said when I was writing the book, I felt numb. 00:35:03.13\00:35:06.43 I couldn't feel my skin. 00:35:06.50\00:35:07.84 And it took four months to kind of cycle out of that. 00:35:07.84\00:35:11.21 My flashbacks now take minutes where they would take months, 00:35:11.57\00:35:16.24 sometimes even years. 00:35:16.31\00:35:17.58 Being stuck in one of those things where you can't feel 00:35:17.85\00:35:20.52 your skin is pretty serious. 00:35:20.52\00:35:21.95 But I, counseling support groups, the truth, the truth is 00:35:22.62\00:35:28.89 powerful. 00:35:28.89\00:35:29.59 You are no longer in that situation. 00:35:29.99\00:35:32.73 You are no longer that age. 00:35:32.89\00:35:34.56 You no longer are not able to take care of yourself. 00:35:34.93\00:35:38.47 All of those things will get you a little bit more strength 00:35:38.57\00:35:42.00 and a little bit more strength. 00:35:42.00\00:35:43.30 And I had to realize that I'm no longer three years old. 00:35:43.34\00:35:47.21 I'm no longer unsafe. 00:35:49.14\00:35:50.41 People around me are safe. 00:35:50.58\00:35:52.11 man, if somebody comes up and they say I want to hug you and 00:35:54.98\00:35:58.15 they don't feel safe to me, I don't hug. 00:35:58.15\00:36:00.92 I put my hand out. 00:36:01.29\00:36:02.42 And so I have the right to do that. 00:36:02.62\00:36:04.29 Even if that person gets offended or people around me 00:36:04.29\00:36:07.10 get offended, is I've learned to even monitor what feels 00:36:07.10\00:36:11.33 safe. 00:36:11.33\00:36:14.64 is so safe. 00:36:14.64\00:36:16.10 Right? 00:36:16.67\00:36:20.08 have people that I run across that don't feel safe. 00:36:20.08\00:36:22.48 But I am now able. 00:36:22.71\00:36:24.38 Boundaries. 00:36:26.48\00:36:27.02 I love the fact that I'm able to set those boundaries. 00:36:27.65\00:36:30.52 I went to a Celebrate Recovery group, a CR group, and did it 00:36:30.52\00:36:35.99 on codependency and boundaries. 00:36:35.99\00:36:37.63 And what was really interesting is I was so afraid to set a 00:36:38.19\00:36:41.30 boundary like they're not going to like me. 00:36:41.30\00:36:44.00 If I set a boundary with my mom, she would just tell me you 00:36:44.17\00:36:47.27 could leave. 00:36:47.27\00:36:47.90 I don't have to see you ever again. 00:36:48.10\00:36:49.70 But you know what I mean is I just didn't know I could do 00:36:50.01\00:36:53.11 that. 00:36:53.11\00:36:55.91 I don't have to be angry. 00:36:55.98\00:36:57.05 I just have to say yes or no. 00:36:57.21\00:36:58.61 I just have to know when I show up. 00:36:58.61\00:37:01.58 And I want to say one thing. 00:37:02.02\00:37:03.42 When we don't know that, my daughter one time said, Mom, 00:37:03.75\00:37:09.26 you've lied to me my whole life. 00:37:09.26\00:37:11.16 And I thought, I have not. 00:37:11.43\00:37:13.56 Like, you know, I couldn't even understand that. 00:37:14.20\00:37:17.73 And she said, because I was so beaten down, I would never 00:37:18.03\00:37:22.87 voice my opinion. 00:37:22.87\00:37:23.87 I would never say what I felt. 00:37:24.41\00:37:26.11 And so I showed up and said what everybody else felt or 00:37:26.37\00:37:28.88 what everybody else wanted me to say. 00:37:28.88\00:37:30.58 And she said, that's lie. 00:37:30.91\00:37:32.21 That's a lie. 00:37:32.45\00:37:33.25 You never told the truth. 00:37:33.58\00:37:35.08 And so when I made my amends, I made my amends to her and said, 00:37:35.35\00:37:39.62 I'm sorry that I've lied to you your whole life. 00:37:39.85\00:37:42.89 I just didn't feel like I had it in me to show up and be 00:37:43.19\00:37:46.33 myself. 00:37:46.33\00:37:46.90 And that's not her issue. 00:37:47.13\00:37:48.46 That's my issue. 00:37:48.50\00:37:49.46 But even when we don't show up and take care of ourself, it is 00:37:49.73\00:37:53.27 we're living a lie in a way that doesn't feel good to them. 00:37:53.27\00:37:58.14 And it definitely doesn't help us. 00:37:58.14\00:37:59.77 So when you learn to set boundaries and to show up and 00:38:00.18\00:38:03.81 be in your own skin, it's amazing. 00:38:03.81\00:38:05.85 It is absolutely amazing, but it's hard work. 00:38:06.51\00:38:09.18 And you know, this is something that when we do premarital 00:38:09.42\00:38:12.82 counseling, we always talk about boundaries because 00:38:12.82\00:38:15.46 boundaries define who you are. 00:38:15.46\00:38:17.56 And it's amazing how difficult it was, it is. 00:38:17.93\00:38:24.20 I'm still learning to set boundaries because if you've 00:38:24.57\00:38:28.34 grown up in that abandonment issues and all of these things, 00:38:28.34\00:38:31.87 it's like scary. 00:38:32.54\00:38:33.94 It is scary. 00:38:34.31\00:38:35.14 But boundaries are quite necessary for any healthy 00:38:35.58\00:38:39.21 relationship. 00:38:39.21\00:38:40.02 I have to say this, God is a boundary setting, boundary 00:38:40.92\00:38:45.05 keeping God. 00:38:45.05\00:38:45.95 That's what the Ten Commandments are. 00:38:46.12\00:38:48.42 He's a God of love and the Ten Commandments are boundaries to 00:38:48.82\00:38:54.20 show us how we can live an abundant life and love 00:38:54.20\00:38:57.97 vertically, love horizontally. 00:38:57.97\00:38:59.87 It's beautiful. 00:39:00.27\00:39:01.44 Ten promises. 00:39:01.84\00:39:02.77 I got to read this. 00:39:03.17\00:39:04.14 Dear Sri, I am so blessed by this program tonight. 00:39:04.27\00:39:07.61 Will this specific program be available through YouTube or 00:39:08.18\00:39:12.61 3ABN -TV anytime soon? 00:39:12.61\00:39:15.48 You bet it will. 00:39:15.78\00:39:16.95 And you can watch it on the 3ABN Plus app at anytime you 00:39:17.25\00:39:21.12 want streaming it. 00:39:21.12\00:39:22.19 It needs to be seen. 00:39:22.39\00:39:23.73 It is priceless. 00:39:23.89\00:39:24.96 And here's the comment that I hear quite often. 00:39:25.39\00:39:30.37 I find the Church can be one of the loneliest places on Earth 00:39:31.10\00:39:34.40 because we are afraid to admit our trauma because we can be 00:39:34.40\00:39:40.34 judged. 00:39:40.34\00:39:40.94 I want to say something. 00:39:41.58\00:39:42.88 Be careful who you talk with at church. 00:39:43.85\00:39:47.52 Just be sure that you're talking to someone who is 00:39:48.15\00:39:53.36 mature in the Lord and who isn't going to... 00:39:53.36\00:39:58.06 Sometimes people can talk to someone and then that person's 00:39:58.06\00:40:02.16 going, Oh, you need to pray for someone, so did you know? 00:40:02.16\00:40:05.07 And they're doing it under the guise of a prayer request. 00:40:05.07\00:40:08.27 And it's gossip. 00:40:08.90\00:40:10.01 Yeah, but even with that, what I've learned over the years is 00:40:10.41\00:40:14.44 I don't want to live that careful. 00:40:14.44\00:40:16.71 So, heal so that will not cause further injury. 00:40:17.41\00:40:22.05 So, do your healing. 00:40:22.88\00:40:24.02 Be careful who you talk to. 00:40:24.09\00:40:25.22 That's incredible. 00:40:25.42\00:40:26.49 But literally, I've been careful my whole life. 00:40:27.36\00:40:29.52 I've been careful my whole life. 00:40:29.72\00:40:31.09 I've not showed up in my own skin my whole life. 00:40:31.16\00:40:33.36 And so, sometimes I think if I walk in the Church and someone 00:40:33.80\00:40:37.73 decides to gossip about me, there's a new book that I love. 00:40:37.73\00:40:41.67 It's called Let Them. 00:40:41.87\00:40:42.90 Let Them. 00:40:44.27\00:40:44.94 It's not my business. 00:40:45.47\00:40:46.57 Right? 00:40:47.24\00:40:50.01 And at the end of the book, the last chapter in the book, it 00:40:50.35\00:40:53.15 says let me just enjoy my life. 00:40:53.15\00:40:54.82 So, there's something that I can't monitor what other people 00:40:55.12\00:41:00.46 do. 00:41:00.46\00:41:04.99 trauma. 00:41:04.99\00:41:05.43 I am you know I'm a little flaky, Shelley. 00:41:05.96\00:41:08.66 And I used to try to not be. 00:41:09.30\00:41:11.77 And it just was too overwhelming. 00:41:12.00\00:41:13.80 It's too much work. 00:41:14.27\00:41:15.04 But even that is that I just have to say that there are 00:41:15.44\00:41:20.01 people that I absolutely love that love me for exactly who I 00:41:20.01\00:41:24.01 am. 00:41:24.01\00:41:25.78 So, be careful about who you open up to, especially 00:41:26.01\00:41:28.48 initially. 00:41:28.48\00:41:29.12 But after a while, enjoy walking in the Church and be a 00:41:29.65\00:41:33.29 blessing to them. 00:41:33.29\00:41:34.02 And don't worry about it. 00:41:34.19\00:41:35.32 Amen. 00:41:35.46\00:41:35.89 And I hope that makes sense. 00:41:36.12\00:41:37.66 It does. 00:41:37.83\00:41:38.36 It does. 00:41:38.36\00:41:39.06 You have a question, honey? 00:41:39.46\00:41:40.46 Yes. 00:41:40.93\00:41:41.33 Comment. 00:41:42.03\00:41:42.53 Hello, Sheree. 00:41:43.16\00:41:44.47 I love you. 00:41:44.77\00:41:46.17 Virtual hugs to you, sister. 00:41:46.67\00:41:48.47 I take them. 00:41:48.74\00:41:49.64 May God continue to bless you and your ministry of educating 00:41:50.01\00:41:52.91 the public about trauma. 00:41:52.91\00:41:54.31 There's one more here. 00:41:56.01\00:41:57.68 Has Sheree used equine therapy? 00:41:58.55\00:42:01.52 Did she really ask that or he asked that? 00:42:03.82\00:42:05.65 Nope. 00:42:05.65\00:42:05.92 That's what it is. 00:42:06.25\00:42:10.19 years ago, 20 years ago, and they would not trust me for 00:42:10.19\00:42:14.03 anything. 00:42:14.03\00:42:17.20 And I laughed because I thought I'd never been on a horse. 00:42:18.10\00:42:20.47 I don't know anything about horses. 00:42:20.50\00:42:22.40 And they said, no, the vet is going to bring a horse for you 00:42:22.70\00:42:25.41 and teach you how to ride. 00:42:25.41\00:42:26.54 So I thought, oh, cool. 00:42:26.94\00:42:29.18 And so I went and they gave me a cowboy hat. 00:42:29.61\00:42:32.25 And I said, oh, I have a cowboy hat, but I don't have any 00:42:32.25\00:42:32.28 horses. 00:42:34.58\00:42:38.89 And I didn't have a place for the horses. 00:42:39.12\00:42:41.19 And this woman said, I'll keep the horses until you get a 00:42:41.29\00:42:43.99 place. 00:42:43.99\00:42:44.53 God gave me a place in three months. 00:42:44.86\00:42:46.43 I was driving down the street. 00:42:46.46\00:42:47.86 This is a place. 00:42:48.40\00:42:49.33 The guy said, I own this place outright. 00:42:49.96\00:42:51.83 I can do whatever I want to. 00:42:51.87\00:42:53.17 And pretty soon I'm living in that place. 00:42:53.27\00:42:55.07 And the nine horses were shipped there before I got 00:42:55.34\00:42:58.27 there. 00:42:58.27\00:43:01.08 we figure out how to do this. 00:43:01.08\00:43:02.44 But anyhow, so I started doing equine therapy with children. 00:43:02.44\00:43:06.72 And it was the most amazing thing. 00:43:07.08\00:43:09.35 And then with veterans with PTSD and CPTSD with children. 00:43:09.45\00:43:14.02 And within And somebody's out there going, what's equine 00:43:14.62\00:43:18.06 therapy? 00:43:18.06\00:43:22.56 how to ride, even though that's part of it. 00:43:22.56\00:43:24.37 But you use horses as therapy. 00:43:24.53\00:43:26.77 As when somebody learns to trust an animal that that's 00:43:27.50\00:43:30.91 that big, they actually learn to trust in a way that will go 00:43:30.91\00:43:36.34 over to the people around them or to their lives or whatever. 00:43:36.34\00:43:38.98 And so you just teach trust and you teach patience. 00:43:39.08\00:43:42.28 And you teach ADHD kids not to run up to the animal and how to 00:43:42.58\00:43:46.35 be aware of their own body. 00:43:46.35\00:43:47.52 And so it's using horses is therapy. 00:43:47.92\00:43:50.36 And we use Pirelli, which is a friendship kind of thing where 00:43:50.39\00:43:53.73 you actually connect with the horse in friendship. 00:43:53.73\00:43:57.43 And it's so healing. 00:43:57.73\00:43:59.30 It's unbelievably healing. 00:43:59.50\00:44:00.84 And so one day I'm out there. 00:44:01.20\00:44:02.47 I'm out in six acres that God gave us on this ranch. 00:44:02.47\00:44:06.01 And I'm out there and I said, God, what you're doing for 00:44:06.41\00:44:09.64 these kids is absolutely amazing. 00:44:09.64\00:44:11.95 And I hear the Holy Spirit say, oh, you think I did it for 00:44:12.21\00:44:15.75 them. 00:44:15.75\00:44:16.15 And I thought, no way. 00:44:17.22\00:44:18.99 And so God reminded me when I was a little girl, I dreamt of 00:44:19.22\00:44:22.96 horses. 00:44:22.96\00:44:23.46 But I lived in a drug. 00:44:23.89\00:44:25.19 You know, my house was a mess. 00:44:25.36\00:44:27.66 And so I dreamt of horses. 00:44:27.96\00:44:29.00 And now I'm in a place that's my own home. 00:44:29.16\00:44:33.20 And I have nine horses and I get to walk out and hear them 00:44:33.47\00:44:36.27 eat and walk around. 00:44:36.27\00:44:37.91 And I had one horse that was so intuitive with people that he 00:44:38.11\00:44:41.68 would literally walk up and put his head in their chest and let 00:44:41.68\00:44:45.35 them just breathe. 00:44:45.35\00:44:46.78 I mean, horses are amazing in therapy. 00:44:47.52\00:44:49.78 So thank you for asking that. 00:44:49.92\00:44:51.55 It's absolutely amazing. 00:44:51.59\00:44:53.39 And studies say that if you can form a relationship with a 00:44:53.89\00:44:58.46 horse in about 15 weeks, you actually will start to heal all 00:44:58.46\00:45:03.60 of that stuff because you just get in a space where you start 00:45:03.60\00:45:07.84 to trust. 00:45:07.84\00:45:12.64 that God is close to those who are broken in spirit, those who 00:45:12.64\00:45:17.35 are brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. 00:45:17.35\00:45:19.68 And just remember that God is intimately present in your 00:45:20.85\00:45:26.59 pain. 00:45:26.59\00:45:27.22 He understands your pain and he wants to heal the 00:45:27.62\00:45:31.03 brokenhearted. 00:45:31.03\00:45:31.66 He says and find up their wounds. 00:45:32.03\00:45:34.83 Yeah. 00:45:35.33\00:45:39.77 11 minutes and I just have to say something that's really 00:45:39.77\00:45:42.84 important to me for people that are learning to trust God with 00:45:42.84\00:45:46.04 this kind of stuff because it's hard to trust God that you 00:45:46.04\00:45:50.11 can't see. 00:45:50.11\00:45:50.41 But God two times intervened in ways that were unbelievable. 00:45:51.31\00:45:56.05 One of the ways I was saying, yeah, I keep feeling like not 00:45:56.48\00:46:01.99 enough or less than the people around me and we're all doing 00:46:01.99\00:46:04.93 speaking and doing different events and I said, is that ever 00:46:04.93\00:46:09.06 going to go away? 00:46:09.06\00:46:09.86 And he shows me an image where I was in the bathtub as a three 00:46:10.47\00:46:14.57 -year -old waiting for my dad to come in and molest me. 00:46:14.57\00:46:16.81 And so, I mean, it wasn't a time at all and my sisters were 00:46:16.94\00:46:20.98 there and we were all waiting and the water was freezing cold 00:46:20.98\00:46:23.68 and then all of a sudden I feel like God kind of walked into 00:46:23.68\00:46:29.28 that image and put his hand out and said, can I get you out of 00:46:29.28\00:46:32.42 the tub because you're no longer waiting to be molested 00:46:32.42\00:46:36.76 or abused and I want to pull you out of the tub. 00:46:36.76\00:46:39.26 And I just remember that sense of the invitation was extended 00:46:39.29\00:46:43.63 that God said, I want to pull you out of all that. 00:46:43.63\00:46:46.37 I can't change the past but I can definitely give you 00:46:46.37\00:46:51.34 everything that you need to survive it. 00:46:51.34\00:46:53.01 And so, I think that we've got to let God and so there's 00:46:53.38\00:46:55.84 another time that he showed me I was a three-year-old dancing 00:46:55.84\00:46:58.35 in my parents' house was a mess and dancing and just kind of 00:46:58.35\00:47:03.08 twirling around and my mom was laying on the couch and my 00:47:03.08\00:47:07.29 stepdad was smoking weed marching at a football game or 00:47:07.29\00:47:09.79 something and I was trying to get anybody's attention and I 00:47:09.79\00:47:12.59 was just a little kid. 00:47:12.59\00:47:13.56 But what I saw in the image without seeing anything I don't 00:47:13.80\00:47:17.23 know how God does that but what I saw was this beautiful three 00:47:17.23\00:47:20.20 -year -old and I was shocked. 00:47:20.20\00:47:21.94 I thought I didn't think I was cute I didn't think I was 00:47:22.50\00:47:25.61 beautiful because I wasn't loved at all so I didn't think 00:47:25.61\00:47:30.71 that and God said you've always been beautiful in this abnormal 00:47:30.71\00:47:34.62 place. 00:47:34.62\00:47:35.32 So he didn't shame my parents he just said in this place that 00:47:35.85\00:47:40.06 was difficult and then the next thing I felt like I saw was me 00:47:40.06\00:47:44.69 dancing in the most holy place in front of God. 00:47:44.69\00:47:47.13 He said if you want to dance for anybody if you want to come 00:47:47.20\00:47:50.00 and run around and laugh with anybody come here. 00:47:50.00\00:47:52.33 The curtain was ripped for you to come here and so we think we 00:47:52.53\00:47:57.44 make it into something that it's not. 00:47:57.44\00:47:59.31 It's my father's saying the curtain was ripped for you this 00:47:59.44\00:48:03.71 was done for you I want healing beyond what you can imagine 00:48:03.71\00:48:06.98 abundantly. 00:48:06.98\00:48:07.92 I want you to enjoy your life but we can't because we're 00:48:08.18\00:48:10.92 afraid to heal we're afraid to say to somebody what our trauma 00:48:10.92\00:48:15.46 was or who we are and that kind of stuff and God says don't be 00:48:15.46\00:48:19.16 afraid. 00:48:19.16\00:48:22.83 sitting in the church afraid to say to their seat mate man I'm 00:48:22.83\00:48:28.04 scared today. 00:48:28.04\00:48:28.84 So it's like being able to not be afraid. 00:48:31.04\00:48:33.27 We've got to rip off the mask. 00:48:33.34\00:48:35.18 And even rip off the mask in order to see who the person is. 00:48:35.88\00:48:40.32 I want to know you. 00:48:40.32\00:48:41.65 I want to have you know me. 00:48:41.85\00:48:43.99 I am a woman of God and I love that. 00:48:44.22\00:48:47.29 Some days I'm going to get hit with something hard. 00:48:47.76\00:48:49.96 I'll deal with it I'll grieve with you and then let's go to 00:48:50.09\00:48:53.36 the beach or something. 00:48:53.36\00:48:57.10 everybody is so silent in their secrets. 00:48:57.10\00:49:00.44 And this ties into this question that came in what role 00:49:00.60\00:49:03.61 does the church community play in someone's long term 00:49:03.61\00:49:07.11 recovery? 00:49:07.11\00:49:07.98 You know it only plays if we're willing to be real enough with 00:49:09.01\00:49:12.15 each other. 00:49:12.15\00:49:12.68 I am the church. 00:49:12.98\00:49:13.98 You are the church. 00:49:14.05\00:49:15.15 And so we're looking for this kind of hypothetical group that 00:49:15.38\00:49:19.25 is going to do something. 00:49:19.25\00:49:20.22 No we are going to do it. 00:49:20.39\00:49:22.32 And so that as we heal and we can look at each other we're 00:49:22.56\00:49:26.39 going to be there for each other. 00:49:26.39\00:49:27.60 But I think there is a change that has to happen in the way 00:49:27.66\00:49:31.10 we speak on trauma. 00:49:31.10\00:49:32.20 The way we how informed we are with trauma and what we decide 00:49:32.37\00:49:37.44 the energy that we bring to the building because I am not 00:49:37.44\00:49:41.01 waiting any longer for the pastor to do it because 00:49:41.01\00:49:43.31 sometimes a pastor doesn't know how. 00:49:43.31\00:49:45.68 Right? 00:49:46.11\00:49:46.75 But I'm going to walk in and do it. 00:49:46.92\00:49:48.65 Like I I'm just going to walk in. 00:49:48.65\00:49:50.55 Like I found a new church because I just moved to 00:49:50.55\00:49:54.16 Huntington Beach but I found a church and I walked in and 00:49:54.16\00:49:57.39 about five or six people I just put my hand out and I said it's 00:49:57.39\00:50:00.00 really nice to meet you. 00:50:00.00\00:50:01.16 And I think it surprised them. 00:50:01.43\00:50:02.86 Well later on that day I'm invited to a Passover feast at 00:50:02.86\00:50:06.23 this Hebrew couple's house. 00:50:06.23\00:50:07.57 It was the most magical thing I've been through in my life I 00:50:07.87\00:50:10.87 think. 00:50:10.87\00:50:14.58 because sometimes they don't. 00:50:14.58\00:50:16.58 Right? 00:50:16.85\00:50:19.11 Nice to meet you. 00:50:19.45\00:50:20.42 And so my sister said did they know you were Sherri Peters? 00:50:20.68\00:50:23.65 Is that why? 00:50:23.79\00:50:24.32 No. 00:50:24.32\00:50:24.72 Nobody knew me. 00:50:24.75\00:50:25.49 They didn't know me. 00:50:25.69\00:50:27.02 They just knew I was friendly. 00:50:27.42\00:50:29.39 Amen. 00:50:30.06\00:50:31.46 This is a great scripture, Galatians 5.1. 00:50:31.66\00:50:34.20 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. 00:50:34.93\00:50:38.03 Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened 00:50:38.80\00:50:42.64 again by the yoke of slavery. 00:50:42.64\00:50:44.64 Powerful. 00:50:45.97\00:50:46.51 Powerful by that yoke of slavery. 00:50:46.71\00:50:48.74 So even in Ephesians, one of the things that got me in 00:50:49.08\00:50:52.21 Ephesians when who wrote it? 00:50:52.21\00:50:55.98 Was it Paul? 00:50:55.98\00:50:56.02 When he said to fight against the schemes of the devil. 00:50:57.22\00:51:00.16 And I thought to myself what are the schemes of the devil? 00:51:00.92\00:51:03.83 He didn't fight against the devil. 00:51:03.83\00:51:03.86 Fight against the schemes. 00:51:05.59\00:51:06.76 So the schemes in my life is to say you're a bad seed. 00:51:06.80\00:51:10.07 You're not lovable. 00:51:10.33\00:51:11.27 You're never going to have anyone respond. 00:51:11.57\00:51:13.27 Somebody else, the scheme would be something else. 00:51:13.30\00:51:15.50 Right? 00:51:15.70\00:51:16.14 And so each of us has schemes. 00:51:16.40\00:51:17.81 And literally when God says take every thought captive, 00:51:18.11\00:51:21.24 fight against the schemes that the devil throws at you because 00:51:21.58\00:51:24.11 they are lies and they will keep us in bondage. 00:51:24.11\00:51:26.55 And the blood of Christ really did happen in Passover. 00:51:26.61\00:51:30.82 It says to bring us out of Egypt or bring us out of these 00:51:31.02\00:51:33.59 lies and these traumas. 00:51:33.59\00:51:34.82 But we can't even see them if we believe lies. 00:51:34.99\00:51:38.29 We just can't see them. 00:51:38.43\00:51:39.56 So I'm saying to my brothers and sisters, everybody that's 00:51:39.76\00:51:42.96 asked these questions, stop believing lies. 00:51:42.96\00:51:46.03 You are an incredible man or woman of God and loved with an 00:51:46.23\00:51:50.07 everlasting love. 00:51:50.07\00:51:50.94 And that is healing in and of itself. 00:51:50.94\00:51:50.97 And it's tough to walk into that because for one, I thought 00:51:53.31\00:51:56.64 I was a bad seed. 00:51:56.64\00:51:57.85 But you know, here's what I say is that you you're not who you 00:51:58.31\00:52:02.92 think you are. 00:52:02.92\00:52:03.59 You're not who others say you are. 00:52:04.22\00:52:06.02 You are who God says you are. 00:52:06.09\00:52:07.62 And anything that you believe about yourself that doesn't 00:52:07.66\00:52:11.03 line up with what God says about who you are in Christ, 00:52:11.03\00:52:15.06 that's a lie of the devil. 00:52:15.36\00:52:16.77 Amen. 00:52:16.77\00:52:21.17 after resurrection, he didn't say this is who you are in this 00:52:21.17\00:52:24.84 journey here the day after resurrection. 00:52:24.84\00:52:27.11 That's who I've always seen. 00:52:27.34\00:52:28.64 The world has lied to you. 00:52:28.91\00:52:30.51 I've always seen you here. 00:52:30.78\00:52:32.21 And so to me, we have to believe him. 00:52:32.78\00:52:34.85 Real quick. 00:52:34.92\00:52:35.45 We got to get this one out. 00:52:35.58\00:52:36.62 What do I do when I feel stuck? 00:52:37.82\00:52:39.85 You're talking about standing firm. 00:52:39.99\00:52:41.62 What do I do when I feel stuck in a cycle of relapse even 00:52:41.96\00:52:45.83 though I want freedom? 00:52:45.83\00:52:47.13 Amen. 00:52:47.50\00:52:48.00 That's the hardest place to be. 00:52:48.33\00:52:49.60 And it really is like I don't want to discount that place at 00:52:49.70\00:52:53.64 all. 00:52:53.64\00:52:59.11 support group around you. 00:52:59.11\00:53:00.28 I have friends that if I'm getting hit with something I 00:53:00.54\00:53:03.68 can call and I can call and say, Hey, Joe, please pray for 00:53:03.68\00:53:09.42 me. 00:53:09.42\00:53:10.05 Or this is what's happening. 00:53:10.09\00:53:11.29 And so you've got to start opening up. 00:53:11.49\00:53:13.96 And some people have no one. 00:53:14.06\00:53:15.39 Some people have not opened up honestly to anyone. 00:53:15.42\00:53:18.36 And I don't blame you because it is really tough. 00:53:18.66\00:53:20.83 Our traumas are tough. 00:53:20.93\00:53:21.96 But that's what you have to say. 00:53:22.36\00:53:24.87 God help me to confront that in myself. 00:53:24.90\00:53:27.74 Sometimes recovery groups will allow you to come. 00:53:28.97\00:53:31.21 They don't care if you come high, come high but come so 00:53:31.27\00:53:34.61 that you can start those support groups for when you 00:53:34.61\00:53:36.81 need them. 00:53:36.81\00:53:37.28 Go to a Bible study. 00:53:37.35\00:53:38.18 Go to a knitting class. 00:53:38.21\00:53:39.31 Do a bowling team. 00:53:39.38\00:53:40.45 You know, I don't care what it is. 00:53:40.68\00:53:42.12 Pick a ball. 00:53:42.32\00:53:42.92 I love it. 00:53:42.95\00:53:47.26 you that you can connect with and call when you're struggling 00:53:47.26\00:53:50.09 because you will not be able to pull your own bootstraps up. 00:53:50.09\00:53:54.50 I know that that's a popular saying, but man, I don't see 00:53:54.56\00:53:57.80 anybody doing it well. 00:53:57.80\00:53:58.87 Well, let me read this one right here. 00:53:59.10\00:54:00.60 This is from Terry in Ohio. 00:54:00.64\00:54:02.30 Hi, Terry. 00:54:03.00\00:54:03.47 Hi. 00:54:04.24\00:54:07.14 your work. 00:54:07.14\00:54:08.01 You have touched thousands and we're all crazy about you. 00:54:08.34\00:54:11.55 Again, thank you for being open, true, and being someone 00:54:12.08\00:54:15.25 willing to be God's hand walking us through a valley. 00:54:15.25\00:54:18.12 Thank you, Terry. 00:54:18.49\00:54:19.15 Beautiful. 00:54:20.16\00:54:25.29 someone out there who's hurting because they can't open up or 00:54:25.29\00:54:29.03 they haven't opened up. 00:54:29.03\00:54:30.33 I like what you talk about. 00:54:30.60\00:54:32.10 You know, it was very difficult for me and I think emotionally, 00:54:32.30\00:54:38.51 I've always seemed really even -keeled, but I hid a lot in my 00:54:39.31\00:54:43.38 heart for a long time and it was hard to open up. 00:54:43.38\00:54:46.38 You know, I want to say for anybody that feels like they 00:54:46.98\00:54:49.28 are stuck and it's difficult to open up. 00:54:49.28\00:54:52.59 Man, I get that. 00:54:52.85\00:54:53.86 But it's difficult to stay where you're at. 00:54:54.06\00:54:56.39 Do you know what I mean? 00:54:56.83\00:54:57.56 And so you have to pick your heart. 00:54:57.66\00:54:58.73 Which is going to be harder for me to five years from now say 00:54:59.53\00:55:03.06 the same thing and be in the same place or for me to say, 00:55:03.06\00:55:06.23 here's some steps that other people have made before me. 00:55:06.30\00:55:09.04 They are difficult. 00:55:09.24\00:55:10.14 They scare me to death. 00:55:10.37\00:55:11.27 My palms sweat. 00:55:11.41\00:55:12.37 I don't know if I can do it and do it anyway. 00:55:12.54\00:55:15.18 Do it anyway. 00:55:15.48\00:55:16.44 Because right now I was stuck for so many years in a place 00:55:16.71\00:55:21.35 that I didn't belong. 00:55:21.35\00:55:22.38 I did not belong in a place where I was not loved, not 00:55:22.52\00:55:25.95 lovable, surrounded myself with people that couldn't love me 00:55:25.95\00:55:30.26 and then I just got more and more stuck and more and more 00:55:30.26\00:55:33.29 discouraged. 00:55:33.29\00:55:36.50 Here are the steps and follow them. 00:55:36.97\00:55:39.73 And so that's why support groups are so incredible. 00:55:40.04\00:55:43.81 Bible study groups, if you have somebody around you that has 00:55:44.41\00:55:47.44 done the journey before you, ask them, what did you do? 00:55:47.44\00:55:50.75 And then do it. 00:55:50.91\00:55:52.08 And it's horribly hard. 00:55:52.25\00:55:54.08 But it's horribly hard to stay where you're at. 00:55:54.98\00:55:56.99 Pick your heart. 00:55:57.79\00:55:58.72 I promise you every step that you make you do the step and 00:55:59.02\00:56:04.26 God will do the blessing. 00:56:04.26\00:56:05.39 You do the step and God will do the blessing. 00:56:05.73\00:56:07.86 What he showed me is I am an incredible woman of God. 00:56:08.26\00:56:11.33 And I don't say that to brag. 00:56:12.53\00:56:14.50 I say that because it's just the truth. 00:56:14.60\00:56:16.24 Do you know what I mean? 00:56:16.94\00:56:17.84 And I know it's the truth for you. 00:56:18.01\00:56:19.64 And I just pray that you get there. 00:56:19.67\00:56:22.04 You don't have to reinvent the wheel. 00:56:23.08\00:56:24.78 Other people have done the steps. 00:56:25.71\00:56:27.08 They know what to do. 00:56:27.28\00:56:28.28 Read it. 00:56:28.52\00:56:29.48 Listen to it on YouTube. 00:56:29.52\00:56:30.72 Ask somebody in the recovery community and do it. 00:56:31.05\00:56:34.22 Sherrie Peters, we love you so much. 00:56:35.22\00:56:37.79 Thank you for being here. 00:56:37.89\00:56:39.16 And if you want to get in touch with Sherrie, you can email her 00:56:39.36\00:56:43.26 at truestepofficeat gmail.com. 00:56:43.26\00:56:47.87 Thank you for being here. 00:56:48.47\00:56:49.74 Our prayer for you, thank you for being with us. 00:56:49.87\00:56:52.27 And our prayer for you is that the grace of our Lord and 00:56:52.31\00:56:55.64 Savior Jesus Christ, the love of the Father and the 00:56:55.64\00:56:58.78 fellowship of the Holy Spirit will walk you through this and 00:56:58.78\00:57:02.95 be with you always. 00:57:02.95\00:57:04.45 God bless you. 00:57:04.82\00:57:05.69