I want to spend my life. 00:00:02.33\00:00:08.97 Mending broken, 00:00:09.00\00:00:10.81 I want to spend my life. 00:00:14.51\00:00:17.55 I want to spend my life. 00:00:35.43\00:00:40.30 Mending broken, 00:00:41.00\00:00:42.60 I want to spend my life. 00:00:46.11\00:00:50.61 Hello, I'm Shelly Quinn. 00:01:04.89\00:01:06.66 I'm J.D. 00:01:06.83\00:01:07.36 Quinn. 00:01:07.40\00:01:11.67 We're going to have a lively time tonight because our 00:01:12.87\00:01:18.34 special guest. 00:01:18.34\00:01:19.17 So let me go ahead and introduce her without ado. 00:01:19.41\00:01:23.65 This is someone, if you've been watching 3ABN for years, you've 00:01:24.18\00:01:28.62 seen her on 3ABN. 00:01:28.62\00:01:30.35 Over 20 years she's been on 3ABN. 00:01:30.59\00:01:33.25 And just my dear, dear friend, I love you dearly, Cherie 00:01:33.25\00:01:38.79 Peters, who is an author, a speaker, and the host of 00:01:38.79\00:01:44.27 Celebrating Life, Enrique. 00:01:44.27\00:01:46.87 Healing Beyond Trauma. 00:01:47.34\00:01:48.44 Healing, Celebrating Life, Healing Beyond Trauma. 00:01:48.84\00:01:51.37 And that is a brand new program. 00:01:51.41\00:01:52.94 And so I've got to say thank you for the introduction 00:01:53.04\00:01:55.21 because you know I love you both. 00:01:55.21\00:01:57.21 Amen. 00:01:57.31\00:01:57.91 And it feels like family. 00:01:57.91\00:01:58.95 I feel like every time I come back I get to just hang out 00:01:59.15\00:02:01.78 with family. 00:02:01.78\00:02:02.28 And so it is a blessing. 00:02:02.35\00:02:03.52 I'm so glad to be here. 00:02:03.75\00:02:04.95 Your series Celebrating Life and Recovery was incredibly 00:02:05.42\00:02:09.56 popular and we did many seasons of that. 00:02:09.56\00:02:12.13 We're going to come back and get just a Reader's Digest 00:02:12.43\00:02:15.43 version of Cherie's life and how the Lord led her into this 00:02:15.43\00:02:21.27 ministry. 00:02:21.27\00:02:26.94 and tell you what tonight's program is going to be about. 00:02:26.94\00:02:29.54 The scripture is Hebrews 11 and it's at verse 25. 00:02:30.01\00:02:35.62 It says that Moses chose to suffer affliction with the 00:02:36.08\00:02:41.39 people of God rather than to enjoy the passing pleasures of 00:02:41.39\00:02:47.40 sin. 00:02:47.40\00:02:52.40 talking about is dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter and 00:02:52.40\00:02:58.97 it has to do with the pain and the pleasure side of the brain. 00:02:58.97\00:03:03.68 It's a chemical in the brain. 00:03:04.21\00:03:06.31 God created us to experience reward, the pleasure and pain 00:03:06.41\00:03:12.89 and they're both beneficial to us. 00:03:12.89\00:03:15.12 But this chemical, God wants to keep it in homeostasis, a 00:03:15.12\00:03:21.03 balanced state and this is interesting. 00:03:21.03\00:03:23.77 I've been talking with a dear friend who's going for her 00:03:24.93\00:03:28.47 master's in trauma recovery and she just keeps telling me about 00:03:28.47\00:03:33.17 all of these studies that they've been doing that show 00:03:33.17\00:03:38.15 that this neurotransmitter, dopamine, is activated through 00:03:38.15\00:03:44.65 spiritual exercises like praying and reading the Word 00:03:44.65\00:03:50.39 and drawing near to God and meditation. 00:03:50.39\00:03:53.09 So it activates the reward system of the brain and 00:03:53.70\00:03:57.83 increases dopamine that stays at a level that isn't going to 00:03:57.83\00:04:03.71 excite the body to crash, I'll put it that way. 00:04:03.71\00:04:07.84 But anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. 00:04:07.84\00:04:10.21 I just want you to stay tuned because this is going to be a 00:04:10.31\00:04:15.28 program that we're going to see how addicted our world is to 00:04:15.28\00:04:21.66 dopamine. 00:04:21.66\00:04:28.30 and the Drive to Numb, Healing in a World Drowning in 00:04:28.30\00:04:34.64 Dopamine. 00:04:34.64\00:04:35.27 Whoa, that's a long title, but that tells you what's coming 00:04:35.87\00:04:39.24 up. 00:04:39.24\00:04:39.61 I can just dumb it down. 00:04:39.97\00:04:41.28 This is good stuff that you're going to be hearing. 00:04:41.28\00:04:43.28 This is PhD stuff that's bringing it down so that we 00:04:45.05\00:04:50.75 understand. 00:04:50.75\00:04:51.49 So this is going to be a special program. 00:04:52.05\00:04:53.72 It will be. 00:04:53.76\00:04:54.86 And everybody loves music and we love our pastor, John 00:04:55.49\00:04:59.59 Lomacane. 00:04:59.59\00:05:03.97 Be still and know that he is God. 00:05:23.99\00:05:29.96 Be still and know that he is holy. 00:05:32.89\00:05:37.67 Be still, O rest, O soul of mine. 00:05:40.34\00:05:45.17 Bow before the Prince of Peace. 00:05:45.17\00:05:49.18 Let the noise and clamor cease. 00:05:49.58\00:05:54.02 Be still and know that he is God. 00:05:56.72\00:06:01.96 Be still and know that he is faithful. 00:06:04.73\00:06:09.80 Consider all that he has done. 00:06:12.60\00:06:16.91 Stand in awe and be amazed. 00:06:18.04\00:06:21.11 And know that he will never change. 00:06:21.51\00:06:25.51 Be still. 00:06:28.68\00:06:31.22 Be still and know that he is God. 00:06:35.76\00:06:42.73 Be still. 00:06:42.73\00:06:47.24 And know that he is God. 00:06:47.70\00:06:50.67 Be still. 00:06:51.77\00:06:55.28 And know that he is God. 00:06:55.81\00:06:58.98 Be still. 00:06:59.78\00:07:02.68 Be speechless. 00:07:04.25\00:07:06.05 Be still and know that he is God. 00:07:08.96\00:07:15.63 Be still and know he is our Father. 00:07:17.90\00:07:23.84 Come rest your head upon his breast. 00:07:26.24\00:07:31.08 Listen to the rhythm of his unfailing heart of love. 00:07:31.08\00:07:38.89 Beating for his little ones, calling each of us to come. 00:07:39.35\00:07:47.93 Be still. 00:07:51.83\00:07:55.07 Be still. 00:08:00.74\00:08:03.98 That's touching, very, very touching. 00:08:19.43\00:08:21.76 It's beautiful and it is so true. 00:08:22.23\00:08:23.60 Sheree, let's just kick this off. 00:08:24.20\00:08:25.77 Tell us about the trauma in your life that brought you into 00:08:26.74\00:08:33.21 ministry of celebrating life and recovery and celebrating 00:08:33.21\00:08:37.51 life, and that is Healing Beyond Trauma, which is a new 00:08:37.51\00:08:41.65 series that will be coming up soon. 00:08:41.65\00:08:43.59 You know what's interesting, whenever I think about that is 00:08:43.95\00:08:47.02 that I was raised by a mother who, when she had me, I was her 00:08:47.02\00:08:54.93 second child, she was a kid, and my dad was an abuser, so my 00:08:54.93\00:08:58.93 dad was a perpetrator, and so my mom was crashing, she didn't 00:08:58.93\00:09:05.64 know how to love any of us, especially me as her second 00:09:05.64\00:09:09.68 child, and I was born into that, so I didn't get touched, 00:09:09.68\00:09:13.78 held, barely, I don't even think that she was responsible 00:09:14.05\00:09:17.95 for, like, feeding any of that stuff. 00:09:17.95\00:09:19.72 I remember just not being loved at all, and when other kids 00:09:20.06\00:09:23.83 came along, because my mom had five kids before she was in her 00:09:23.83\00:09:26.43 early twenties, I was the second. 00:09:26.43\00:09:28.36 She says 15, the dates add up to about 14 years old in my 00:09:28.76\00:09:34.17 mind, but she was young. 00:09:34.17\00:09:35.14 So I was born, and she just didn't know how to love. 00:09:35.57\00:09:39.87 She was being abused by my dad. 00:09:39.94\00:09:41.74 She was a kid. 00:09:42.04\00:09:43.01 She was already married. 00:09:43.14\00:09:44.35 She had five kids, like I said, before she was of age at all, 00:09:44.35\00:09:47.68 and so I grew up just desperately wanting to be 00:09:48.05\00:09:50.59 loved. 00:09:50.59\00:09:54.72 like, sometimes standing when I was three or so, standing in 00:09:54.76\00:09:57.63 front of a mirror and saying, like, what is wrong with me 00:09:57.63\00:10:00.63 that she can't touch me? 00:10:00.63\00:10:02.43 And I would have given anything just for her to touch my face. 00:10:02.43\00:10:06.23 Like, I just wanted to sit next to her and feel her, and the 00:10:06.37\00:10:10.57 other kids would run up to her, and she would not have a 00:10:10.57\00:10:12.71 problem. 00:10:12.71\00:10:17.01 hang on me? 00:10:17.01\00:10:17.65 I mean, like, I just remember that. 00:10:17.88\00:10:19.91 I remember probably the time that I felt like my life 00:10:20.65\00:10:24.49 changed is I was six years old. 00:10:24.49\00:10:26.86 We were watching a movie, and the TVs were on the floor at 00:10:26.99\00:10:30.76 the time, and we were watching a movie, and I shouldn't have 00:10:30.76\00:10:33.26 been watching it. 00:10:33.26\00:10:35.76 everybody. 00:10:35.76\00:10:36.67 It was called The Bad Seed, and I remember watching this movie 00:10:37.00\00:10:40.24 thinking, I was scared. 00:10:40.24\00:10:41.70 I knew she was going to kill someone else, and she was a 00:10:41.70\00:10:44.24 little blonde kid, and she was just killing everybody. 00:10:44.24\00:10:48.28 And so somebody got a medal at her school, and she thought she 00:10:48.64\00:10:52.71 should have got the medal, so she killed him and got the 00:10:52.71\00:10:54.92 medal. 00:10:54.92\00:10:59.02 the landlord died that night, and she got the parakeet. 00:10:59.02\00:11:01.42 So I mean, it was like this was a horrendous movie. 00:11:01.49\00:11:03.83 And towards the end of the movie, the mother was going to 00:11:04.33\00:11:07.03 kill the little girl and then commit suicide. 00:11:07.03\00:11:09.73 And my mom simply said to me, I was petrified watching this 00:11:09.73\00:11:14.14 movie, and my mom said, You're the bad seed. 00:11:14.14\00:11:17.01 And I remember being six, and I remember thinking, that's why 00:11:17.47\00:11:21.58 you don't love me. 00:11:21.58\00:11:22.41 And I believed it so much that I then went into hiding. 00:11:22.74\00:11:28.05 Like, I didn't want anyone to know that I was actually just a 00:11:28.25\00:11:31.35 bad seed. 00:11:31.35\00:11:31.89 And so I kind of hid that. 00:11:32.22\00:11:33.89 I ended up getting moved to Canada to live with an aunt. 00:11:33.89\00:11:40.63 I tried to commit suicide a number of times. 00:11:40.96\00:11:43.03 I ended up homeless by the age of 13. 00:11:43.13\00:11:45.23 And everything kind of changed. 00:11:46.13\00:11:47.50 But even in the back of my mind, I always knew that I was 00:11:47.64\00:11:51.01 a bad seed. 00:11:51.01\00:11:51.64 And I always ran from that. 00:11:51.64\00:11:53.07 I didn't want anyone to know. 00:11:53.17\00:11:54.58 I ran from that. 00:11:54.68\00:11:55.68 I tried to hide. 00:11:56.21\00:11:57.01 The first time I did drugs, I felt like I could survive. 00:11:57.41\00:12:00.68 And I just stayed high for the next 10 years. 00:12:00.68\00:12:04.49 And on the streets of Los Angeles is where I ended up. 00:12:05.79\00:12:09.19 There was probably 80,000 kids like me. 00:12:09.19\00:12:09.22 So I wasn't the only runaway or the only homeless kid on the 00:12:11.53\00:12:15.33 streets of L.A. 00:12:15.33\00:12:16.33 But I always felt desperately broken, desperately broken. 00:12:16.56\00:12:23.77 And so when I was 23, I was done. 00:12:24.81\00:12:28.28 I was tired. 00:12:28.41\00:12:29.54 I had seen, you know, I was kidnapped by bikers at one 00:12:29.54\00:12:32.85 point. 00:12:32.85\00:12:36.52 for new members. 00:12:36.52\00:12:37.72 I mean, all of that kind of stuff. 00:12:38.05\00:12:39.32 Because living on the street as a kid, you are funneled into 00:12:39.45\00:12:42.66 industries that are very dark. 00:12:42.66\00:12:44.33 So I saw all of the darker parts of, I think, humanity. 00:12:44.66\00:12:48.20 And by the time I was 23, I was just done. 00:12:49.26\00:12:51.37 Like, I don't want to do this anymore. 00:12:51.40\00:12:52.73 And a guy came over to put a gun to my head and he said, I'm 00:12:53.07\00:12:56.87 going to blow your head off. 00:12:56.87\00:12:58.11 He thought I stole money from him and nobody steals from me. 00:12:58.11\00:13:01.04 And I was so grateful. 00:13:01.28\00:13:02.58 Like, I just remember feeling so grateful because I haven't 00:13:02.71\00:13:05.78 been successful at killing myself. 00:13:05.78\00:13:08.08 And so I just thought, you know, pull the trigger. 00:13:08.48\00:13:11.89 Thank you. 00:13:12.22\00:13:12.75 Like, pull the trigger. 00:13:12.75\00:13:12.79 And then I realized he was just trying to scare me. 00:13:13.99\00:13:16.26 And I've said this a lot of times, but I wanted to scream. 00:13:16.29\00:13:18.89 My next breath scares me. 00:13:19.39\00:13:21.13 I don't want to be here. 00:13:21.50\00:13:22.60 I don't want to do this anymore. 00:13:22.70\00:13:23.90 I don't belong here. 00:13:23.97\00:13:24.97 I am not good. 00:13:25.03\00:13:26.13 And so I just remember just wanting him to pull the 00:13:26.13\00:13:29.14 trigger. 00:13:29.14\00:13:29.30 And he didn't. 00:13:29.57\00:13:33.91 money. 00:13:33.91\00:13:37.08 I don't know how to do life. 00:13:37.11\00:13:39.08 I don't know how. 00:13:39.25\00:13:40.12 I don't belong anywhere. 00:13:41.05\00:13:42.05 I had, you know, 42 warrants for my arrest. 00:13:42.85\00:13:45.25 I lived in a drug house. 00:13:45.32\00:13:46.86 I was strung out on heroin by that time. 00:13:46.86\00:13:48.96 When I got kidnapped by the motorcycle gang, I got hit in 00:13:49.22\00:13:52.16 the mouth and, you know, a couple of teeth missing. 00:13:52.16\00:13:54.30 I mean, it was just a really horribly dark time. 00:13:54.30\00:13:58.53 And so I thought I need to go somewhere where somebody will 00:13:58.80\00:14:02.67 say, you know, they love me. 00:14:02.67\00:14:05.21 I mean, and this sounds crazy, but my heart's cry was I wanted 00:14:05.37\00:14:09.68 someone to say, I'm sorry and I love you. 00:14:09.68\00:14:13.01 So I went back to my mom's house. 00:14:13.01\00:14:13.05 I don't know why, but I went back to my mom's house and 00:14:15.98\00:14:19.59 everything was kind of the normal thing. 00:14:19.59\00:14:21.22 My dad was then moved out. 00:14:21.36\00:14:23.02 My mom had a boyfriend there and everything was normal. 00:14:23.02\00:14:27.13 It was dark. 00:14:27.23\00:14:28.53 The house is dirty. 00:14:28.60\00:14:30.97 And I remember walking in and everybody saying, well, how are 00:14:31.93\00:14:35.44 you doing? 00:14:35.44\00:14:40.04 But I said, it's verbal camouflage. 00:14:40.61\00:14:42.41 You're screaming. 00:14:44.55\00:14:45.71 Your heart is screaming on the inside, but you have to smile 00:14:45.81\00:14:49.75 and put forward. 00:14:49.75\00:14:50.75 I wanted to throw myself in front of a train. 00:14:50.79\00:14:52.75 I literally and to sit through, I just remember sitting there 00:14:52.75\00:14:57.36 as long as I could. 00:14:57.36\00:14:58.06 And then I said nothing had changed. 00:14:58.23\00:15:00.06 And I said, you know, I got to go. 00:15:00.06\00:15:01.70 And I got ready to leave. 00:15:02.53\00:15:04.07 And my mom said that she had something for me and she went 00:15:04.17\00:15:08.40 in the bedroom and got a Manila envelope and she handed it to 00:15:08.40\00:15:11.47 me. 00:15:11.47\00:15:14.64 with you. 00:15:14.64\00:15:18.05 saw you. 00:15:18.05\00:15:18.68 And my mom's life is horrendous. 00:15:18.85\00:15:21.55 Right. 00:15:21.65\00:15:24.72 And she said, yes. 00:15:24.79\00:15:25.69 I said, what are you taking in school? 00:15:26.02\00:15:27.66 And she said social work. 00:15:27.99\00:15:29.46 And I wanted to scream like, are you kidding me? 00:15:29.59\00:15:32.26 Social work? 00:15:32.63\00:15:33.53 You're going to teach another kid how to be loved? 00:15:33.73\00:15:35.70 I mean, I was my whole inside. 00:15:36.06\00:15:38.53 I remember feeling furious like I didn't say anything because 00:15:38.80\00:15:43.24 in those days we didn't talk back to our parents. 00:15:43.24\00:15:45.31 But you know what? 00:15:46.14\00:15:48.88 I understood every crime where somebody gets stabbed like 300 00:15:48.88\00:15:52.95 times. 00:15:52.95\00:15:57.92 And all I said was good luck with that. 00:15:58.02\00:16:00.72 And I walked away, went back to the drug house, wanted to kill 00:16:00.92\00:16:04.46 myself, looking for something to use. 00:16:04.46\00:16:06.39 And I had just done a major drug deal that that's where 00:16:06.63\00:16:10.43 this guy thought I sold his money. 00:16:10.43\00:16:11.97 And I just did a major drug deal and I didn't have enough 00:16:12.30\00:16:15.47 drugs that would kill me. 00:16:15.47\00:16:16.47 And I thought, what am I going to do? 00:16:16.71\00:16:18.27 And I didn't have anything like I'm not a cutter. 00:16:18.27\00:16:21.71 I don't like pain. 00:16:21.91\00:16:23.01 In fact, when I was eight years old, I tried to kill myself. 00:16:23.11\00:16:25.48 I jumped off the roof of my house and put a mattress down 00:16:25.61\00:16:28.78 so I wouldn't get hurt. 00:16:28.78\00:16:29.88 I mean, like, I just don't do this well. 00:16:29.88\00:16:31.85 And so I was looking for anything and I found some 00:16:32.09\00:16:35.89 syringes and I was going to pump air into my veins until my 00:16:35.89\00:16:39.39 heart exploded. 00:16:39.39\00:16:40.26 I don't know why, but that's what I was going to do. 00:16:40.53\00:16:43.50 And I turned around and I had thrown the manila envelope on 00:16:43.83\00:16:47.24 the bed. 00:16:47.24\00:16:51.27 I thought nobody has ever loved me. 00:16:51.57\00:16:53.41 I mean, I've not been loved. 00:16:53.61\00:16:54.88 My dad is a molester. 00:16:54.91\00:16:56.01 I've been molested since I was three months old. 00:16:56.11\00:16:58.11 So I don't know a mother or a father. 00:16:58.11\00:16:58.15 And now I'm on the streets being used by perpetrators, by 00:17:00.92\00:17:04.75 being used by people in industries that use kids. 00:17:04.75\00:17:07.56 And so I'm looking at this thing and I just want to rip it 00:17:07.99\00:17:10.53 into my hands bleed. 00:17:10.53\00:17:11.56 I'm so angry, like I don't want to just rip it in half. 00:17:11.66\00:17:14.36 I'm just so angry and I go over and I pick it up and I feel 00:17:14.36\00:17:19.43 God's presence for the first time ever. 00:17:19.43\00:17:21.54 And even to this day when I think about that for the first 00:17:21.87\00:17:24.71 time ever, somebody said, How did you know it was God? 00:17:24.71\00:17:26.84 I don't know. 00:17:26.94\00:17:27.81 I wasn't raised a Christian. 00:17:28.01\00:17:29.24 I don't have that kind of background, but I felt loved 00:17:29.44\00:17:32.68 and at peace for the first time. 00:17:32.68\00:17:36.08 And I just thought, what is going on? 00:17:36.08\00:17:38.25 And I felt like the Holy Spirit said, not a voice, but the Holy 00:17:38.25\00:17:38.29 Spirit said, open the envelope. 00:17:41.79\00:17:43.12 And I opened it and took it out. 00:17:43.12\00:17:45.73 I could barely read. 00:17:45.93\00:17:47.10 I wasn't a proficient reader, but I went through it the best 00:17:47.20\00:17:50.70 I could. 00:17:50.70\00:17:53.97 My mom had an abusive background. 00:17:54.07\00:17:57.77 She was passed on to aunties while her mom was, I hate to 00:17:58.54\00:18:02.54 say partying, but that's what she was doing. 00:18:02.54\00:18:04.08 And then her mom got pregnant and moved her to the United 00:18:04.18\00:18:06.92 States from Canada. 00:18:06.92\00:18:07.78 And, you know, her whole life was uprooted and talked about 00:18:08.28\00:18:11.19 that, talked about meeting my father. 00:18:11.19\00:18:13.05 Who was a perpetrator and was abusive to her. 00:18:13.15\00:18:16.59 And then my stepfather, who was an alcoholic and smoked weed. 00:18:16.86\00:18:20.40 And so it talked about all that stuff. 00:18:20.93\00:18:22.53 And on the third page, I turned to the third page and before I 00:18:22.73\00:18:27.14 turned, I remember thinking, I wish she would have told me 00:18:27.14\00:18:30.04 this because I would have told her I love her. 00:18:30.04\00:18:32.61 I would have told her it's okay. 00:18:32.61\00:18:34.91 But I turned to the third page and she said, the only reason I 00:18:35.31\00:18:38.08 survived any of this, I took my anger and hatred on my second 00:18:38.08\00:18:41.58 child and I ruined her life. 00:18:41.58\00:18:42.92 And I couldn't hardly breathe. 00:18:43.12\00:18:45.12 I've been screaming my whole life. 00:18:45.55\00:18:47.29 What is wrong with me? 00:18:47.62\00:18:48.89 And God said it was never about you. 00:18:49.22\00:18:51.13 And I felt like I heard him clearly say it was never about 00:18:51.16\00:18:54.40 you. 00:18:54.40\00:18:58.77 And I just cried. 00:18:58.93\00:19:00.20 I thought not even God can help me. 00:19:00.40\00:19:03.10 Like, look at me. 00:19:03.20\00:19:04.17 I am not loved. 00:19:04.17\00:19:04.21 I'm in my mind, the bad seed. 00:19:05.77\00:19:07.98 And I'm thinking, God can't do this. 00:19:08.11\00:19:11.91 God can't do anything. 00:19:12.15\00:19:13.08 I have all these warrants. 00:19:13.08\00:19:14.12 I'm living in a drug house. 00:19:14.22\00:19:15.18 I can barely read. 00:19:15.32\00:19:16.22 And what he said is, I said, look at me. 00:19:16.92\00:19:19.12 And I remember in my mind saying, look at me. 00:19:19.25\00:19:21.29 And he's like, can I show you who I see when I look at you? 00:19:21.46\00:19:24.69 And I thought I was afraid because what if he sees 00:19:25.76\00:19:28.26 something darker than what I see? 00:19:28.26\00:19:30.53 And what he showed me is who I am the day after resurrection. 00:19:30.93\00:19:33.67 Wow. 00:19:34.30\00:19:35.00 Not the day I pull a needle out of my arm. 00:19:35.20\00:19:36.71 Not the day that I figure out how to be good. 00:19:36.97\00:19:39.24 The day after resurrection, I am loved with an everlasting 00:19:39.74\00:19:43.91 love. 00:19:43.91\00:19:49.35 and beauty of the image he showed me, even though I 00:19:49.35\00:19:51.72 couldn't see the whole thing. 00:19:51.72\00:19:52.82 I just felt like I couldn't see the whole thing. 00:19:53.02\00:19:55.42 But I saw innocence and beauty. 00:19:55.69\00:19:57.23 And that's where he said, I'll get you home. 00:19:57.46\00:19:59.43 And so not I'll get you clean. 00:19:59.89\00:20:01.43 I'll get you home. 00:20:01.83\00:20:02.80 He never said, I will love you if you stop lying. 00:20:03.03\00:20:05.83 I will love you if you stop using drugs. 00:20:05.93\00:20:07.84 I will love you if you... 00:20:07.84\00:20:09.84 He didn't say any of that. 00:20:09.84\00:20:10.87 He said, I love you and I will get you home. 00:20:10.94\00:20:13.31 And that was life-changing for me. 00:20:13.54\00:20:15.58 And when we're talking about even this whole thing on 00:20:15.81\00:20:19.75 trauma, when we're talking about that, I remember having 00:20:19.75\00:20:24.05 to figure out where I'm going to go now. 00:20:24.05\00:20:27.29 Because I mean, my whole life until that point has been 00:20:27.96\00:20:31.86 trauma. 00:20:31.86\00:20:32.69 Even what I saw on the streets, what happened to me on the 00:20:33.33\00:20:36.00 streets, what happened to me at home, like all of it has been 00:20:36.00\00:20:39.73 trauma. 00:20:39.73\00:20:40.17 And so now God is saying, trust me. 00:20:40.54\00:20:42.70 And even when he says that, like, trust what? 00:20:43.04\00:20:45.97 Like, are you kidding me? 00:20:46.57\00:20:47.71 I don't trust anybody. 00:20:47.71\00:20:49.08 I don't even know how to trust. 00:20:49.24\00:20:51.15 I have never. 00:20:51.48\00:20:52.41 And I don't think even when I say it now, I don't think 00:20:52.68\00:20:55.82 people can imagine what it feels like to never be loved, 00:20:55.82\00:21:00.09 ever be loved. 00:21:00.82\00:21:01.72 And that's what I felt like. 00:21:01.72\00:21:03.43 I didn't have anything to bring to the table. 00:21:04.03\00:21:06.56 And I called the people I knew, which were drug addicts and 00:21:07.03\00:21:10.33 prostitutes and club owners. 00:21:10.33\00:21:12.97 I mean, I didn't know any normal people. 00:21:13.23\00:21:15.14 And I said, I need to go somewhere to do recovery. 00:21:15.40\00:21:18.21 And so some guy said, I called my sister and she said, you can 00:21:18.91\00:21:22.38 go to her house. 00:21:22.38\00:21:23.31 Well, I get to her house, which was seven, eight hours away 00:21:23.98\00:21:26.85 from Los Angeles. 00:21:26.85\00:21:27.82 It was Placerville, California, drive all the way there. 00:21:27.98\00:21:30.99 I don't take any drugs, right? 00:21:30.99\00:21:32.55 I just because I think God didn't say I want you to stop 00:21:32.69\00:21:35.22 doing drugs. 00:21:35.22\00:21:35.69 He never said that. 00:21:35.76\00:21:36.76 But when he said, I love you, I wanted to stop doing 00:21:37.13\00:21:39.43 everything. 00:21:39.43\00:21:39.89 I wanted to be the image that he showed me. 00:21:40.43\00:21:44.43 I wanted to be innocent and beautiful. 00:21:44.43\00:21:44.47 And I just wanted to be all that. 00:21:47.44\00:21:49.50 So I didn't take anything with me. 00:21:49.50\00:21:49.54 I get to her house and I'm going to withdraw. 00:21:51.21\00:21:53.61 I was like, crazy. 00:21:53.74\00:21:54.74 I can't even I can't even tell you. 00:21:54.98\00:21:56.88 I can't imagine even like I didn't know what to say. 00:21:56.98\00:22:01.22 I'm at the door. 00:22:01.38\00:22:01.98 She says, I love you. 00:22:02.15\00:22:03.39 Come on in. 00:22:03.52\00:22:04.25 I'm just thinking you don't even know me. 00:22:04.49\00:22:06.39 How do you say you love me? 00:22:07.49\00:22:09.12 My mama doesn't even love me. 00:22:09.22\00:22:10.43 And I remember just being so angry that I just didn't know 00:22:10.43\00:22:10.46 how to act. 00:22:15.10\00:22:15.70 And I'm going to withdraw. 00:22:15.70\00:22:15.73 And she was getting ready for the Sabbath. 00:22:17.20\00:22:19.37 Does that mean she's getting ready for the Sabbath? 00:22:21.00\00:22:23.84 And I'm asking her like, do you have any coffee? 00:22:23.87\00:22:27.04 Do you have any tea? 00:22:27.21\00:22:28.08 Do you have any anything? 00:22:28.18\00:22:29.44 And she says, I have lentils. 00:22:29.44\00:22:32.08 And I remember just thinking, that looks terrible. 00:22:32.28\00:22:35.55 Who wants that? 00:22:36.25\00:22:37.45 And then she even said, do you want some water? 00:22:38.09\00:22:40.89 And I said, I just can't stomach water. 00:22:40.96\00:22:43.09 Like, you know, she's really kind. 00:22:44.06\00:22:45.89 She says, do you drink alcohol? 00:22:46.06\00:22:47.83 And I think, yeah. 00:22:47.93\00:22:49.06 And she says, did it take you a while to get used to the taste 00:22:49.13\00:22:51.90 of that? 00:22:51.90\00:22:52.30 And I said, yes. 00:22:52.30\00:22:53.07 And she said, water's like that. 00:22:53.07\00:22:54.40 You'll get used to it. 00:22:55.24\00:22:56.50 And I remember she said, I'm a vegan vegetarian. 00:22:56.50\00:23:00.14 And I thought, am I in hell? 00:23:00.94\00:23:03.11 Because is this where you go when you misbehave your entire 00:23:03.85\00:23:06.88 life? 00:23:06.88\00:23:08.62 And I remember just thinking that this is crazy. 00:23:08.78\00:23:12.09 But to this day, I know that God put me in the safest place 00:23:13.12\00:23:17.43 I could be in. 00:23:17.43\00:23:18.53 To do withdraws, to have somebody that says, here's some 00:23:18.53\00:23:18.56 water. 00:23:21.53\00:23:21.83 Here's some cantaloupe. 00:23:22.10\00:23:23.10 Go take a shower and shower the drugs off your skin. 00:23:23.16\00:23:26.17 It was the most amazing journey to say that there's a God that 00:23:26.53\00:23:31.51 sees me and will literally walk me into everything from that 00:23:31.51\00:23:36.28 point on. 00:23:36.28\00:23:41.58 he said, can I fix your teeth? 00:23:41.62\00:23:43.62 Right? 00:23:44.89\00:23:48.39 And I said, I don't have insurance. 00:23:49.52\00:23:51.63 I know that was a shock to him. 00:23:51.69\00:23:53.36 I don't have insurance. 00:23:54.36\00:23:55.50 I don't have anything. 00:23:55.50\00:23:56.40 And he said, I know, I know. 00:23:56.43\00:23:57.57 So he took me in to the dentist's office. 00:23:57.70\00:23:59.87 He was a dentist and literally said that your face is rotted. 00:23:59.87\00:24:06.44 Like not my teeth are rotted. 00:24:06.94\00:24:08.71 Because when you do a lot of drugs and when you got 00:24:08.88\00:24:11.08 malnutrition and we haven't taken care of yourself, your 00:24:11.08\00:24:13.65 teeth rot from the bone down. 00:24:13.65\00:24:15.35 I mean, it literally is not something you're going to see 00:24:15.55\00:24:17.95 on the outside for a while. 00:24:17.95\00:24:19.39 And so what he said is, I don't know how many I can save. 00:24:19.42\00:24:22.36 I don't know what I can do. 00:24:22.56\00:24:23.66 I'm 23 years old at this time and I wanted to sweep. 00:24:23.66\00:24:26.93 And he said, I will do whatever I can. 00:24:27.36\00:24:29.60 When he said that, I said, can I watch? 00:24:31.20\00:24:34.44 And he said, it's going to be intense. 00:24:35.30\00:24:36.91 Like I'm going to have to cut on the inside of your gums all 00:24:37.47\00:24:40.31 the way across and literally kind of scrape the bone. 00:24:40.31\00:24:42.98 And I thought, I just wanted to see everything that God was 00:24:43.11\00:24:46.55 going to do. 00:24:46.55\00:24:47.18 Because I was so, how does God do that? 00:24:47.45\00:24:50.22 I know people hear stories like this. 00:24:50.25\00:24:52.49 But when you're nothing and God says, let me get your teeth 00:24:52.49\00:24:58.53 fixed and a place to live and a place to do recovery, it is 00:24:58.53\00:25:02.16 unbelievably mind blowing. 00:25:02.16\00:25:03.87 And so he said, yes. 00:25:04.17\00:25:05.30 And so he sets up. 00:25:05.37\00:25:06.53 He's got this whole big balloon thing over my mouth and he's 00:25:06.53\00:25:10.31 getting ready to do the surgery. 00:25:10.31\00:25:11.47 And I've got a mirror right there that he set up so I could 00:25:11.47\00:25:11.51 watch. 00:25:13.94\00:25:14.58 And I remember watching and then all of a sudden I thought, 00:25:15.14\00:25:17.71 that's my face and I almost passed out. 00:25:18.31\00:25:22.02 But you know, all of those things, every step from the 00:25:22.55\00:25:26.35 time that I met God to the next day, to the next day, to the 00:25:26.35\00:25:30.89 next day, I felt like I had a father that said, I can't wait. 00:25:30.89\00:25:34.83 I can't wait to love you. 00:25:35.13\00:25:37.03 I can't wait to show you this. 00:25:37.20\00:25:38.77 I can't wait to help you with this. 00:25:38.87\00:25:41.87 So I think that that was amazing to me to come out of 00:25:42.17\00:25:46.61 all of that trauma and meet God. 00:25:46.61\00:25:49.48 Unfortunately, what I think happened, even I did the 00:25:50.01\00:25:53.72 recovery. 00:25:53.72\00:25:54.15 I worked with Donna. 00:25:54.58\00:25:55.58 She taught me. 00:25:55.85\00:25:56.99 Soon as she realized that I was trusting her, she went like 00:25:57.05\00:26:00.96 this and a Bible slid out of her sleeve. 00:26:00.96\00:26:02.86 We're in the middle of Bible study. 00:26:03.39\00:26:04.83 I don't know how you guys do that, but it was like pretty 00:26:04.93\00:26:07.20 slick, you know? 00:26:07.20\00:26:08.23 And so she's like teaching me the Bible and I'm thinking that 00:26:08.40\00:26:11.43 is a funniest thing. 00:26:11.43\00:26:12.57 And from that, she literally says, now you got to go find 00:26:13.07\00:26:16.60 your church, right? 00:26:16.60\00:26:17.71 A church. 00:26:17.71\00:26:25.41 thought they were saying was don't talk about any of this. 00:26:25.41\00:26:29.18 All you have to do is pray and God will fix everything. 00:26:29.52\00:26:32.25 So don't deal with your trauma. 00:26:32.69\00:26:34.79 Don't talk about it. 00:26:34.92\00:26:36.42 Pray harder and all of those things. 00:26:36.59\00:26:39.23 And I did that for years and years and years. 00:26:39.23\00:26:39.26 And I got some recovery. 00:26:42.23\00:26:44.13 I mean, I got blessed. 00:26:44.33\00:26:46.17 I changed lives. 00:26:46.47\00:26:47.94 I went back to school and got a nursing degree and all of that 00:26:47.94\00:26:50.54 kind of stuff was amazing. 00:26:50.54\00:26:52.87 But I think we can't tell people that. 00:26:53.74\00:26:56.95 We can't be afraid of our trauma and our grief. 00:26:56.98\00:26:59.71 Grief will not be denied. 00:27:01.38\00:27:03.02 And when people try to tell others just don't think about 00:27:03.82\00:27:08.42 it, you've just got to forgive and forget and all of this. 00:27:08.42\00:27:13.93 We don't forgive and forget because if we forgot, we'd 00:27:14.30\00:27:17.73 never learn by experience. 00:27:17.73\00:27:19.30 They said the body keeps score. 00:27:19.37\00:27:20.80 Yes, it does. 00:27:21.00\00:27:21.84 And that I think is an incredible thing. 00:27:21.94\00:27:23.51 But this is just to tell you how much I didn't deal with any 00:27:23.87\00:27:27.71 of this is that I like working with Special Olympics and I 00:27:27.71\00:27:32.38 work with neurodiverse kids at times and that kind of thing. 00:27:32.38\00:27:35.68 So I'm working with this girl Hope and this was not too long 00:27:35.72\00:27:38.52 ago, a few years ago. 00:27:38.52\00:27:40.39 And I'm working with her and I take her to a hot air balloon 00:27:40.86\00:27:44.36 festival. 00:27:44.36\00:27:44.96 She is amazing. 00:27:44.96\00:27:47.66 She's a savant as far as artwork goes. 00:27:47.93\00:27:49.80 But in her head, I don't know what age she is or what she 00:27:50.20\00:27:52.57 understands. 00:27:52.57\00:27:53.10 But she loves me and I love her. 00:27:53.64\00:27:55.70 So we go to see these hot air balloons and there's like a 00:27:55.77\00:27:59.61 million people there. 00:27:59.61\00:28:00.44 I mean, it's a huge festival. 00:28:00.54\00:28:01.91 And on the way out, I knew she's going to get lost and if 00:28:02.28\00:28:05.05 she gets lost, she's going to panic. 00:28:05.05\00:28:07.32 It's confusing. 00:28:08.52\00:28:09.48 So I said to her, hold my jacket. 00:28:09.92\00:28:12.22 And she held it. 00:28:12.95\00:28:14.32 And then I started to walk away and she let go. 00:28:14.32\00:28:16.39 And I did that a number of times, realized that's not 00:28:16.46\00:28:18.86 going to work. 00:28:18.86\00:28:19.43 So I said, can I hold your jacket? 00:28:19.69\00:28:21.00 And we did that a few times and that wasn't going to work. 00:28:21.16\00:28:24.17 And so I said, oh, have you ever skipped with someone 00:28:24.20\00:28:28.30 before? 00:28:28.30\00:28:28.87 And she said, no. 00:28:29.24\00:28:30.37 And I said, when you skip, you hold hands and it's so fun. 00:28:30.71\00:28:33.38 Let's skip all the way out. 00:28:33.44\00:28:34.91 And so she just grabbed my hand and we laughed and sang and 00:28:35.34\00:28:38.45 skipped all the way out like probably a half a mile out of 00:28:38.45\00:28:41.72 this park across the street. 00:28:41.72\00:28:43.45 Now we're going to wait for our Uber ride, right? 00:28:43.45\00:28:46.35 Because I didn't bring my car. 00:28:46.35\00:28:47.69 It was too much traffic. 00:28:47.79\00:28:48.69 And so I let go of her hand and all of a sudden she says, Miss 00:28:49.19\00:28:54.36 Cherie? 00:28:54.36\00:28:54.60 And I said, what? 00:28:55.33\00:28:56.13 And she said, can we still hold hands? 00:28:56.16\00:28:57.53 And I said, oh, yes. 00:28:57.90\00:28:59.37 And so we held hands and just laughed. 00:28:59.43\00:29:01.14 And I took her home and got my car and I went home. 00:29:01.54\00:29:05.17 And in the middle of the night, like 3.30 in the morning, 4 o 00:29:05.24\00:29:09.18 'clock in the morning, I woke up and I'm sobbing. 00:29:09.18\00:29:12.21 I mean, I am sobbing. 00:29:12.21\00:29:13.75 And I said, I'm not a crier. 00:29:14.12\00:29:15.68 So I'm like, God, what's up? 00:29:15.72\00:29:17.42 I mean, sobbing where your pillow is wet kind of thing. 00:29:17.69\00:29:20.36 And I heard the Holy Spirit said, nobody held your hand 00:29:20.66\00:29:24.23 ever. 00:29:24.23\00:29:24.86 And I just cried because I thought I never realized the 00:29:26.59\00:29:30.67 pain of that is those intimate moments that some people get. 00:29:30.67\00:29:34.54 I just have never gotten. 00:29:34.80\00:29:36.17 And I've never gotten as an adult because people don't 00:29:36.47\00:29:38.71 think you need it, right? 00:29:38.71\00:29:39.91 I mean, you just don't. 00:29:39.97\00:29:41.34 But I just wept and wept. 00:29:41.34\00:29:43.75 And I remember God saying, don't be afraid to weep. 00:29:44.28\00:29:47.15 There's more dopamine in tears than there is in laughter. 00:29:48.12\00:29:52.12 And like I found out later in research, but tears and grief 00:29:52.32\00:29:56.62 and the work that we do when we just admit that maybe that 00:29:56.62\00:30:01.10 grief needs to be shared or needs to be cried out or needs 00:30:01.10\00:30:05.87 to be acknowledged. 00:30:05.87\00:30:07.14 And I think acknowledging that was so healing for me. 00:30:07.54\00:30:10.47 I can't wait for your series. 00:30:10.47\00:30:12.74 I have to tell you, first of all, every time I hear you 00:30:12.81\00:30:16.41 talk, even though I've heard your story so many times, I 00:30:16.41\00:30:20.08 always there's something a little different that I pick 00:30:20.08\00:30:22.82 up. 00:30:22.82\00:30:23.18 I just want you to know. 00:30:23.72\00:30:24.69 I mean, I know I came from a dysfunctional background, but I 00:30:24.92\00:30:28.89 can't imagine what you went through. 00:30:28.89\00:30:31.69 I really can't. 00:30:31.79\00:30:32.59 Let me take just this one second real quick, and then 00:30:33.33\00:30:35.76 let's pick up here. 00:30:35.76\00:30:36.70 This is a live program. 00:30:37.23\00:30:38.93 And what information this is. 00:30:39.90\00:30:42.00 I mean, this brings tears to our eyes. 00:30:42.07\00:30:43.47 But we are taking questions. 00:30:43.64\00:30:45.21 So if something's catching your attention here, please send 00:30:46.47\00:30:48.94 those questions in. 00:30:48.94\00:30:49.88 It's live at 3ABN.TV. 00:30:50.78\00:30:53.92 Once again, live at 3ABN.TV. 00:30:54.22\00:30:57.02 Or if you'd like to send them in, it's 618-228-3975. 00:30:57.35\00:31:04.33 I hate to break that moment. 00:31:05.13\00:31:06.09 And send it in even if you just want to say hi. 00:31:06.09\00:31:08.50 Because we are family. 00:31:08.50\00:31:10.43 That's exactly right. 00:31:10.97\00:31:12.07 But what I wanted to say was, I'm sorry that you went through 00:31:12.20\00:31:17.64 that. 00:31:17.64\00:31:17.94 I am. 00:31:18.91\00:31:19.51 I mean, it's just, and I love you. 00:31:19.74\00:31:22.08 I do want you to know I love you so much. 00:31:22.44\00:31:25.05 I do know that. 00:31:25.45\00:31:26.35 And it's something that we could spend the whole two hours 00:31:27.22\00:31:30.55 talking about your life story. 00:31:30.55\00:31:32.35 Hold on though, JD, I don't want to miss you, because I 00:31:32.35\00:31:36.06 have felt loved and accepted by you since the day we met. 00:31:36.06\00:31:38.83 And so just know there are people in my life that even 00:31:39.46\00:31:42.40 though we don't remember the depth of our pain sometimes, 00:31:42.40\00:31:46.10 that the realness of our relationship is there. 00:31:46.90\00:31:49.17 So thank you for that. 00:31:49.57\00:31:50.54 And I think that ditto is a real word. 00:31:50.74\00:31:53.04 And I'm saying ditto, ditto, ditto. 00:31:53.41\00:31:55.48 Thank you. 00:31:55.58\00:31:56.24 Thank you. 00:31:56.24\00:31:57.18 So let's talk about trauma and how does trauma affect the 00:31:57.75\00:32:07.62 brain with, you know, God created us in such an amazing 00:32:07.62\00:32:11.63 way with these brain chemicals. 00:32:11.63\00:32:13.36 But particularly, let's talk about dopamine. 00:32:13.96\00:32:15.90 Well, let me first, there's a graphic that we have that I'd 00:32:16.43\00:32:19.97 like to bring up. 00:32:19.97\00:32:20.94 And that's just all the things that we chase. 00:32:20.97\00:32:22.57 So when I became a Christian and when I literally started to 00:32:23.34\00:32:27.61 come into my relationship with God, I started chasing 00:32:27.61\00:32:30.95 everything. 00:32:30.95\00:32:34.52 the trauma background. 00:32:34.52\00:32:35.92 But I chase. 00:32:36.38\00:32:40.29 To numb the pain. 00:32:40.36\00:32:40.76 And that's the dopamine. 00:32:40.92\00:32:41.52 And so the dopamine, let me make sure we're saying this 00:32:42.22\00:32:46.56 right. 00:32:46.56\00:32:52.53 dopamine. 00:32:52.53\00:32:53.00 You feel a reward. 00:32:53.00\00:32:54.70 You feel pleasure. 00:32:54.90\00:32:55.74 But then there's that crash. 00:32:56.30\00:32:57.61 So people are chasing after something to numb the pain. 00:32:58.21\00:33:01.81 But even in the U.S. 00:33:01.84\00:33:03.11 and the U.K. 00:33:03.21\00:33:08.15 medications that increase their dopamine, right? 00:33:08.15\00:33:10.95 One in six. 00:33:11.19\00:33:12.09 I mean, that's huge worldwide. 00:33:12.19\00:33:14.36 And so we're chasing dopamine. 00:33:15.02\00:33:18.76 So with the Prozax and the different drugs that we have, 00:33:18.99\00:33:21.93 that increases our dopamine, let's say, by 6-10 percent, 00:33:21.93\00:33:25.13 right? 00:33:25.23\00:33:25.87 We get into a drug like amphetamines. 00:33:26.07\00:33:29.47 It increases our dopamine by a thousand percent, right? 00:33:29.70\00:33:33.04 So we've got these drugs that do a little bit. 00:33:33.27\00:33:35.81 And then we've got these drugs here that will increase it by 00:33:35.98\00:33:39.15 tons, right? 00:33:39.15\00:33:40.25 And so that if I'm lacking dopamine because of abuse or 00:33:40.32\00:33:44.05 trauma or childhood stuff or neglect, and I find something 00:33:44.05\00:33:48.06 that's going to increase my dopamine by a thousand percent, 00:33:48.06\00:33:50.93 I will kill you rather than give it up, right? 00:33:50.93\00:33:53.83 So because I feel so deficient and I found something that 00:33:54.00\00:33:59.03 works, the first time I took a drug when I was 12 years old 00:33:59.03\00:34:02.17 and I didn't feel like killing myself, it was like a miracle 00:34:02.17\00:34:05.34 to me. 00:34:05.34\00:34:08.91 this drug for the rest of my life. 00:34:08.91\00:34:11.08 So I chased after whatever stopped the pain, whatever 00:34:11.25\00:34:14.85 actually numbed that. 00:34:14.85\00:34:16.92 And some people chase after sex, some people gambling, some 00:34:17.22\00:34:21.02 people religion, some people chase after whatever. 00:34:21.02\00:34:26.70 Alcohol, you know, we'll chase after whatever works because 00:34:27.03\00:34:29.90 what increases your dopamine may not increase mine, but 00:34:29.90\00:34:33.54 that's what we're looking for is that hit. 00:34:33.54\00:34:35.37 Some people get a hit from their likes on Facebook, I mean 00:34:35.37\00:34:41.04 scrolling, so that would be a dopamine thing. 00:34:41.04\00:34:44.11 So are you saying that most of us are addicted? 00:34:44.38\00:34:46.55 Yeah, in this world, from the 60s or 70s on, when marketers 00:34:46.55\00:34:53.52 realized that dopamine was really a driving force for a 00:34:53.52\00:34:57.29 lot of us, dopamine became currency. 00:34:57.29\00:34:59.69 So now marketers, especially online stuff, especially like 00:35:01.10\00:35:05.00 when I can't stop scrolling, when I can't stop watching 00:35:05.00\00:35:08.67 YouTube stuff, when I can't stop gaming, there are people 00:35:08.67\00:35:12.11 that get paid big bucks to make sure that I get those hits 00:35:12.11\00:35:16.78 because they know that that hit is so addictive that a rat will 00:35:16.78\00:35:20.98 die rather than not get his dopamine fix. 00:35:20.98\00:35:23.99 So I mean, when they found that out, they started using 00:35:24.22\00:35:27.09 dopamine in all kinds of ways and so now we're chasing 00:35:27.09\00:35:31.49 dopamine, not realizing that we're just not made to be 00:35:31.49\00:35:36.23 flooded. 00:35:36.23\00:35:36.63 We are drowning in dopamine. 00:35:36.90\00:35:38.10 We literally are going for the next fix and the next fix and 00:35:38.17\00:35:41.74 the next fix because I don't want to be alone with myself. 00:35:41.74\00:35:44.57 I don't want to have those thoughts. 00:35:44.74\00:35:45.91 I don't want to deal with the sadness of not having my hand 00:35:46.01\00:35:49.21 held. 00:35:49.21\00:35:54.08 feel them, I will chase this over here and this never works. 00:35:54.08\00:35:58.35 It never works for a lot of different reasons. 00:35:58.65\00:36:00.86 So really when we're sitting here thinking, well, it 00:36:01.06\00:36:04.43 doesn't, and I don't even know what I'm talking about here. 00:36:04.43\00:36:07.13 I want to clarify that, but some people you'd think that 00:36:07.13\00:36:10.17 methamphetamines would be the worst thing you could take. 00:36:10.17\00:36:13.87 That's not necessarily the thing at all because we're 00:36:14.17\00:36:17.11 dealing with this dopamine, which is a natural product that 00:36:17.11\00:36:21.31 we're finding a weak area in our makeup. 00:36:21.31\00:36:25.08 So it's not just drugs per se. 00:36:26.95\00:36:30.69 I mean, this could be our lifestyle. 00:36:30.79\00:36:32.35 As we go through, we're going to find out that they are a 00:36:33.12\00:36:36.69 temporary pleasure like Moses. 00:36:36.69\00:36:38.43 Even when you said that what we're finding out is that you 00:36:38.43\00:36:43.10 talk about we live in a world that has a lot of trauma in it, 00:36:43.10\00:36:48.27 but instead of learning how to deal with that trauma in a 00:36:48.54\00:36:51.74 healthy way, we are marketed to. 00:36:51.74\00:36:54.34 We get another gallon of ice cream. 00:36:54.61\00:36:56.85 We go buy some outfit. 00:36:57.15\00:36:58.78 We take a couple shots of tequila. 00:36:59.45\00:37:01.58 I fall in love with somebody on Tinder. 00:37:02.12\00:37:04.22 You know what I mean? 00:37:04.49\00:37:09.39 chase, and I'm chasing it because I am dealing with 00:37:09.39\00:37:14.23 whatever, whatever, whatever trauma. 00:37:14.23\00:37:16.56 Okay, so some people... 00:37:16.73\00:37:18.40 The whole reason that we wanted to do this new series with 00:37:19.30\00:37:24.31 Cherie, most of the world, this is a saying, treat everybody as 00:37:24.31\00:37:31.45 if their heart is breaking because it probably is. 00:37:31.45\00:37:34.42 Most people are dealing or not dealing with their trauma, and 00:37:34.42\00:37:43.59 we wanted to make... 00:37:43.59\00:37:46.23 We want to become not just trauma aware, but trauma 00:37:46.23\00:37:51.70 responsive because we do a lot of things wrong in the church 00:37:51.70\00:37:55.97 for people who are in trauma. 00:37:55.97\00:37:58.67 Talk to us, explain the fine trauma and what it does to the 00:37:59.31\00:38:03.61 brain. 00:38:03.61\00:38:05.58 There's complex trauma, and that's childhood stuff that 00:38:05.81\00:38:09.02 I've talked about in my own life, and that's where it's a 00:38:09.02\00:38:12.25 constant, a constant thing like a drip, that you're getting 00:38:12.25\00:38:17.53 abused in a number of different ways. 00:38:17.53\00:38:19.06 I have... 00:38:19.39\00:38:19.69 I thought I had... 00:38:20.96\00:38:22.50 I think God has healed this, but I had a chaotic, chaotic 00:38:23.26\00:38:27.10 attachment disorder, meaning that as a kid, I would try to 00:38:27.10\00:38:30.57 fix it doing this, and it didn't work, so I would do 00:38:30.57\00:38:33.41 this, and do this, and do this, so that was very chaotic in the 00:38:33.41\00:38:36.91 way I would respond to trauma, and so I think that that kind 00:38:36.91\00:38:40.38 of complex PTSD or complex trauma is that constant trauma 00:38:40.38\00:38:45.25 that some kids experience. 00:38:45.25\00:38:46.92 Then there's just that trauma that is just a sudden thing. 00:38:47.22\00:38:51.23 You get in a car accident or there's a natural disaster, and 00:38:51.43\00:38:54.93 so those traumas, it's once, it's sudden, and I don't want 00:38:54.93\00:38:58.20 to discount it that it's not constant because trauma is 00:38:58.20\00:39:00.67 trauma, and then you get into traumas where you are, you are 00:39:00.67\00:39:06.94 almost viciously attacked in some way, and your life 00:39:06.94\00:39:11.61 changes, so those, there's so many different things. 00:39:11.61\00:39:14.22 Politically, I think we are traumatized as a nation, not 00:39:14.55\00:39:17.99 because any one side, and I don't want to get into that at 00:39:17.99\00:39:20.59 all, but I mean, we're living, we're constantly, if you turn 00:39:20.59\00:39:24.26 on the news, or if you turn on, you know, there's a meteor, 00:39:24.26\00:39:27.00 right, that's coming to the Earth, or, you know, so, you 00:39:27.10\00:39:29.36 know, there's all... 00:39:29.36\00:39:30.50 whiplash, you know, there's something new every night. 00:39:30.50\00:39:32.83 You just get whiplash, and so it's really a sense of, we're 00:39:32.83\00:39:32.87 getting hit in so many different ways, and so anything 00:39:39.34\00:39:41.98 that actually takes us from that trauma is going to be 00:39:41.98\00:39:45.61 rewarding, right, and so anything, I could take some 00:39:45.61\00:39:49.08 sugar, I can take a good strawberry shortcake, I could 00:39:49.08\00:39:52.42 take a gallon of ice cream, I could take a drug, I can, you 00:39:52.42\00:39:56.99 know what I mean, it's like anything that gives us that 00:39:56.99\00:39:59.63 break, I can get online in school, I can get a like, I can 00:39:59.63\00:40:03.20 do a game. 00:40:03.20\00:40:04.80 You know what I mean is that we have access to things in a way 00:40:05.10\00:40:09.30 that we've not had access. 00:40:09.30\00:40:10.64 This is a whole different time, worldwide, we've never been 00:40:10.67\00:40:14.21 here. 00:40:14.21\00:40:17.58 available. 00:40:17.58\00:40:18.11 Everything's available, and boy, Sodom and Gomorrah just 00:40:19.15\00:40:22.18 came to my mind, you know, I don't know what it was like 00:40:22.18\00:40:26.92 then, maybe everything was available, but I mean, this is 00:40:26.92\00:40:33.16 very complex. 00:40:33.16\00:40:35.30 Even in Dopamine Nation, which is a book that I love, but in 00:40:35.36\00:40:38.90 that book, it talks about drowning in dopamine, that we 00:40:38.90\00:40:42.04 are drowning in dopamine, but unfortunately, can I just show 00:40:42.04\00:40:45.71 you something? 00:40:45.71\00:40:46.24 Unfortunately, our bodies don't respond well to that, so I'm 00:40:46.91\00:40:50.65 going to show it to you by just an example. 00:40:50.65\00:40:52.41 So this is a scale, and our bodies, God made us in such an 00:40:52.81\00:40:56.28 amazing way, and so our body says, dopamine is good, it's 00:40:56.28\00:41:00.19 how we were made, and it's how we really are motivated to get 00:41:00.19\00:41:04.69 up and go to work. 00:41:04.69\00:41:06.16 And dopamine is a good thing. 00:41:06.46\00:41:07.50 It's a good thing. 00:41:07.66\00:41:08.43 So let's say that I do something, and I say, oh man, 00:41:08.76\00:41:11.83 that is good, and I get a little dopamine, so I'm going 00:41:12.33\00:41:15.07 to do it again. 00:41:15.07\00:41:16.60 Oh wait, so your body says, oops, wait a minute, because 00:41:17.01\00:41:20.91 your body has to have, your body has a natural balance, so 00:41:20.91\00:41:24.61 the dopamine coming out here, your body says, oh too much, so 00:41:24.61\00:41:29.15 I'd like to balance over here, and what balance is over here 00:41:29.15\00:41:32.19 is discomfort or pain, right? 00:41:32.19\00:41:34.26 And we're afraid of that. 00:41:34.66\00:41:36.02 We don't want to deal with pain or discomfort, but your body 00:41:36.09\00:41:38.83 says, there's too much here, so I would like to balance, and so 00:41:38.83\00:41:42.40 somebody, this one author that I love said, it's like little 00:41:42.40\00:41:46.94 gremlins want to get on this side and just balance it out 00:41:46.94\00:41:49.67 for you a little bit, and so that doesn't balance. 00:41:49.67\00:41:52.04 You get a little bit more, when you get through withdraws with 00:41:52.11\00:41:55.18 a drug, like if I do too much drugs and my body gets 00:41:55.18\00:41:58.38 inundated with dopamine, what your brain does is that you 00:41:58.38\00:42:01.95 have synapses like here and the dopamine goes across these 00:42:01.95\00:42:04.69 synapses, right? 00:42:04.69\00:42:05.85 And your brain has receptors that will take the dopamine 00:42:05.99\00:42:09.96 here and take it through your body. 00:42:09.96\00:42:11.59 Your body sucks in those receptors if you get too much. 00:42:12.23\00:42:15.93 Wow. 00:42:16.50\00:42:20.37 that area waiting to be sucked in, but it cannot be anymore 00:42:20.37\00:42:23.34 because your body says it's too much, so you start going 00:42:23.34\00:42:27.08 through a natural withdrawal, doesn't feel comfortable, and 00:42:27.08\00:42:30.98 so you start watching the scales, just not balance, and 00:42:30.98\00:42:33.78 so the scales go right here, but the scales don't go even 00:42:33.78\00:42:37.12 when this happens. 00:42:37.12\00:42:38.25 The scale goes to the same extent that the pleasure went, 00:42:38.79\00:42:42.49 so your pain or your discomfort, your withdraws, 00:42:42.86\00:42:46.56 your agitation, your irritability actually comes up 00:42:46.56\00:42:46.59 more, and so it lasts that way for a little bit, and then 00:42:50.60\00:42:54.94 those gremlins literally start to jump off, let me get one at 00:42:54.94\00:43:00.08 a time, so they jump off, and it becomes balanced, so your 00:43:00.08\00:43:03.65 body naturally goes back into balance. 00:43:03.65\00:43:06.75 It doesn't happen if you do the dopamine naturally, that 00:43:07.68\00:43:11.69 doesn't happen, but if you do it artificially, Okay, so hang 00:43:11.69\00:43:17.19 on just a second, so that's what these studies are showing 00:43:17.19\00:43:19.93 that God created us. 00:43:19.93\00:43:21.93 You know, pain is not a bad thing. 00:43:22.00\00:43:23.87 I remember when my sister broke her leg, and she was up and 00:43:23.87\00:43:23.90 around on it, and she came from a drug background, and she got 00:43:28.00\00:43:33.58 out of drugs, but prescription meds, she had a tendency to 00:43:33.58\00:43:38.21 abuse, and so she was taking these pain pills, and she's up 00:43:38.21\00:43:44.72 doing everything, and I'm going, you know, pain is a gift 00:43:44.72\00:43:48.56 from God to let us know what needs to be changed in our 00:43:48.56\00:43:52.49 life, or what we shouldn't be doing it. 00:43:52.49\00:43:54.30 Sometimes we're so afraid of pain. 00:43:54.30\00:43:56.33 We're so afraid of that, and even when I had to look at the 00:43:56.73\00:44:01.10 pain of not being loved or not having my hand held, is God, I 00:44:01.10\00:44:05.41 believe, held me during that moment where I had to look at 00:44:05.41\00:44:08.48 that, and he said, don't be afraid of that, and he actually 00:44:08.48\00:44:11.11 brought a scripture from the Bible that says, don't back 00:44:11.11\00:44:13.85 away from pain or tribulation too fast, because it develops 00:44:13.85\00:44:17.82 character. 00:44:17.82\00:44:18.72 There's dopamine in our tears as much as in our laughter, so 00:44:19.09\00:44:22.49 I mean, literally, we are made to feel both, but if we always 00:44:22.49\00:44:26.63 run from insight or pain or grief, we will never have these 00:44:26.63\00:44:30.80 scales balanced, that one is not good and one is not bad. 00:44:30.80\00:44:33.57 It feels better to laugh than it does to cry at times, but 00:44:33.94\00:44:38.64 they're both good for us. 00:44:38.64\00:44:39.94 They're both necessary for us. 00:44:39.97\00:44:42.08 So the way I'm looking at this, it's kind of like when you are 00:44:42.28\00:44:46.65 doing something to get rid of the pain, it's like you're 00:44:46.65\00:44:50.09 stepping on the accelerator, your dopamine is through the 00:44:50.09\00:44:54.59 roof, but as soon as you let your foot up, it's like you're 00:44:54.59\00:44:57.86 a tank that just stops and then you've got this imbalance. 00:44:57.86\00:45:02.03 You've got to dive. 00:45:02.23\00:45:03.16 Okay, but that doesn't happen with the Lord, the way he 00:45:03.97\00:45:07.67 intended for us to be is staying in homeostasis to stay 00:45:07.67\00:45:12.37 level. 00:45:12.37\00:45:15.28 crashes, which is amazing. 00:45:15.28\00:45:16.85 I think it's an amazing quote that you had in here from Dr. 00:45:17.05\00:45:21.58 Limke. 00:45:22.18\00:45:29.12 we can never recover from her trauma. 00:45:29.39\00:45:32.09 And what's really crazy, we run from everything. 00:45:32.93\00:45:35.43 We run from aging. 00:45:35.60\00:45:36.53 We run from trauma. 00:45:36.93\00:45:38.03 We run from the pain of a loss of a job. 00:45:38.23\00:45:42.47 We run from all that. 00:45:42.64\00:45:46.51 as possible, which is fine, but do it in a way that you 00:45:46.51\00:45:50.58 acknowledge. 00:45:50.58\00:45:51.35 Like I had to acknowledge the sadness of what I didn't get. 00:45:51.85\00:45:55.55 And when I started doing my own grief work, I was amazed at the 00:45:57.12\00:46:01.19 healing of that and the sense of being in my own skin, like 00:46:01.19\00:46:04.73 all of a sudden knowing that I'm in my own skin and I don't 00:46:04.73\00:46:07.96 have to hide. 00:46:07.96\00:46:08.80 When I was seeing a therapist and she said, I told her the 00:46:09.16\00:46:12.07 bad seed story and I started weeping. 00:46:12.07\00:46:14.20 And she said, you believe that still, don't you? 00:46:14.57\00:46:17.57 And I thought, you know, I do. 00:46:17.57\00:46:20.38 And she said, it's a lie. 00:46:20.81\00:46:22.24 You know, like I can't even understand. 00:46:22.51\00:46:24.95 Like she looked at me as an adult woman, knowing what I do 00:46:25.45\00:46:28.55 in my life, knowing how my life has been. 00:46:28.55\00:46:31.15 And she's like, she was shocked. 00:46:31.22\00:46:33.36 You still believe that. 00:46:33.39\00:46:34.39 But I had to look at the sadness of hearing that from my 00:46:34.52\00:46:38.09 mom at six years old. 00:46:38.09\00:46:40.36 That six-year-old shut off, didn't grow, literally got 00:46:40.66\00:46:46.23 wounded to the point where I hid for until I was 33, when I 00:46:46.23\00:46:50.27 finally dealt with that. 00:46:50.27\00:46:51.27 So I think that that we're so afraid of pain and sometimes 00:46:51.51\00:46:54.58 we're so young and vulnerable. 00:46:54.58\00:46:56.18 We don't even know how to deal with it. 00:46:56.34\00:46:58.78 But, you know, God says, I promise you, I will walk you 00:46:59.05\00:47:02.25 through the valley. 00:47:02.25\00:47:03.25 Yeah, Psalm 23, Amen. 00:47:04.29\00:47:05.92 And even with mine is that, you know, I'll walk you through the 00:47:05.99\00:47:09.79 shadow of death and you fear no evil, all of that kind of 00:47:09.79\00:47:12.79 stuff. 00:47:12.79\00:47:15.46 me all the days of my life. 00:47:15.46\00:47:17.27 And I would dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 00:47:17.40\00:47:19.27 So, like, even as I'm dealing with some pretty horrendous 00:47:19.57\00:47:22.70 things, is God is showing me more and more who I am and more 00:47:22.70\00:47:26.81 and more of the grief work that needs to be done. 00:47:26.81\00:47:30.65 And I avoided grief work like the plague, like just didn't 00:47:30.85\00:47:35.58 understand how we're made, didn't understand that that you 00:47:35.58\00:47:40.22 can't, you can't not look at the sadnesses of your life and 00:47:40.22\00:47:44.63 the sadnesses of your life are not going to kill you. 00:47:44.63\00:47:47.40 Get with somebody that you love, get with somebody that 00:47:47.76\00:47:50.40 can take you to God, get with somebody that has survived 00:47:50.40\00:47:54.17 something that you disrespect how they did it and say out 00:47:54.17\00:47:58.64 loud, this is what I'm dealing with. 00:47:58.64\00:48:00.44 And I promise you, when that happens, if I get to get with 00:48:00.54\00:48:03.65 somebody or somebody gets with me, I just feel like God is 00:48:03.65\00:48:07.42 able to then walk us out of that valley into a place where 00:48:07.42\00:48:11.85 we are in our own skin and we can be, yeah. 00:48:11.85\00:48:15.56 So let me share this real quick. 00:48:16.32\00:48:18.69 Enoch walked with God. 00:48:20.26\00:48:21.76 So I would imagine the scales were quite level right there. 00:48:23.57\00:48:28.67 Amen. 00:48:28.67\00:48:28.70 beginning? 00:48:32.97\00:48:36.95 looked at Moses and the fact that he didn't get to go to the 00:48:36.95\00:48:39.38 promised land and all that stuff and I felt bad for him. 00:48:39.38\00:48:41.68 But he got to minister to Jesus when he was going through that. 00:48:41.88\00:48:46.69 And I thought, did he know? 00:48:46.79\00:48:47.69 He got to be resurrected. 00:48:47.69\00:48:49.12 He got to be resurrected and right there with Jesus. 00:48:49.19\00:48:52.16 And I thought, did he know at the time where God said, I'm 00:48:52.23\00:48:55.03 sorry, but I can't take you here. 00:48:55.03\00:48:56.43 He had no idea that God was going to use him to comfort 00:48:56.70\00:49:01.30 Christ. 00:49:01.30\00:49:02.20 And I thought, man, I have to just trust God that even when 00:49:02.57\00:49:06.88 I'm dealing with trauma, I have a God that has my best 00:49:06.88\00:49:11.15 interests in his heart always. 00:49:11.15\00:49:13.92 So let me ask this question because we're getting only 00:49:14.45\00:49:18.22 eight minutes left. 00:49:18.22\00:49:19.42 If somebody is watching and they've been through some 00:49:21.06\00:49:24.86 trauma and you know, sometimes trauma, the body keeps a score 00:49:24.86\00:49:30.00 and it's the story of epigenetics that when you are 00:49:30.00\00:49:34.67 going through trauma, it doesn't change your DNA, but it 00:49:34.67\00:49:39.14 changes your gene expression. 00:49:39.14\00:49:41.21 So think of your genes here and they're going through trauma 00:49:41.21\00:49:44.58 and they've got this red flag up and it can be passed down. 00:49:44.58\00:49:48.28 It's just amazing that it can be passed down from generation 00:49:48.68\00:49:52.95 to generation. 00:49:52.95\00:49:53.99 But there are people out there. 00:49:54.49\00:49:56.83 What are some of the symptoms of being dopamine deficient? 00:49:57.03\00:50:05.37 If there's somebody that's watching and we're going to 00:50:05.70\00:50:09.17 talk about how to increase this, but what are some of the 00:50:09.17\00:50:13.44 symptoms? 00:50:13.44\00:50:14.08 What's really interesting is that for me, the biggest 00:50:14.58\00:50:18.05 symptom that I had is when I emotionally dysregulated. 00:50:18.05\00:50:21.95 So like all of a sudden I would get triggered and my 00:50:22.52\00:50:25.32 handwriting changes. 00:50:25.32\00:50:26.45 My skin feels numb. 00:50:26.96\00:50:28.69 I feel like I've got brain fog. 00:50:29.06\00:50:31.19 There's all of this stuff that I feel like totally detached. 00:50:31.59\00:50:36.00 So trauma sometimes will make you feel like you're not able 00:50:36.50\00:50:41.04 to connect with the things around you or the people around 00:50:41.04\00:50:43.30 you. 00:50:43.30\00:50:43.74 Some people feel agitated. 00:50:43.94\00:50:45.17 They feel angry. 00:50:45.21\00:50:46.34 All of a sudden their emotions are all over the place and 00:50:46.41\00:50:49.04 that's a trauma response or a trigger. 00:50:49.04\00:50:51.78 Some folks are depressed. 00:50:52.58\00:50:55.38 They're taking anti-depressants which cause you to be numb 00:50:55.68\00:51:00.19 anyway. 00:51:00.19\00:51:00.79 So now you're numb with sexually. 00:51:00.96\00:51:02.72 It interferes with all of that. 00:51:02.89\00:51:04.09 And so some of the things that we do to help ourselves 00:51:04.23\00:51:07.00 actually cause more trauma. 00:51:07.00\00:51:08.60 That trauma, depending on who you are, really changes. 00:51:08.90\00:51:12.30 And when you talk about epigenetics and gene expression 00:51:12.67\00:51:16.27 that it's almost like when I emotionally dysregulate 00:51:16.27\00:51:20.08 literally I can write something and I think that my handwriting 00:51:21.21\00:51:24.91 is different. 00:51:24.91\00:51:25.55 Like I feel like that has changed. 00:51:25.75\00:51:27.35 And so a lot of things change but that's how your mind is 00:51:27.85\00:51:31.25 actually now talking to itself is that you're not able to make 00:51:31.25\00:51:35.76 sense. 00:51:35.76\00:51:36.36 Somebody may feel like they did that on purpose. 00:51:36.76\00:51:39.79 You're just trying to make me feel bad and they have no idea 00:51:40.23\00:51:43.30 your trauma. 00:51:43.30\00:51:46.37 Right. 00:51:47.04\00:51:50.31 it's like when I go into that trauma response all of the 00:51:50.31\00:51:53.64 stuff from my childhood comes up. 00:51:53.64\00:51:55.08 I'm not loved. 00:51:55.08\00:51:55.81 I'll never be loved. 00:51:55.94\00:51:56.88 This is sad. 00:51:57.35\00:51:58.38 I'm gonna... 00:51:58.55\00:52:01.95 seed. 00:52:01.95\00:52:05.39 up the world isn't safe. 00:52:05.39\00:52:08.09 I'm not safe. 00:52:08.49\00:52:09.82 Men are not safe. 00:52:10.99\00:52:11.93 Women are not safe. 00:52:11.96\00:52:12.99 I mean whatever you tell yourself all of those lies will 00:52:13.09\00:52:16.03 then start coming up in a trauma response. 00:52:16.03\00:52:18.10 So what happens when somebody says just pray harder. 00:52:18.40\00:52:21.44 You know that is so sad because then you think I'm not praying 00:52:22.60\00:52:26.01 hard enough. 00:52:26.01\00:52:26.57 I'm not a good Christian. 00:52:26.88\00:52:28.01 Maybe I never was a Christian. 00:52:28.11\00:52:29.58 So all of it just confuses everything and I think when God 00:52:29.61\00:52:33.35 says please come sit with me just come sit with a while and 00:52:33.35\00:52:37.42 the song that we heard at the beginning be still be still and 00:52:37.42\00:52:40.66 know that I am God. 00:52:40.66\00:52:46.13 each other in our trauma that is going to bring us to a place 00:52:46.13\00:52:49.40 of recovery. 00:52:49.40\00:52:50.37 And I would just want to remind people right now we're getting 00:52:51.93\00:52:54.44 ready to get up close to taking a break. 00:52:54.44\00:52:57.37 We are taking questions. 00:52:57.71\00:52:59.01 This is a live program. 00:52:59.07\00:53:00.31 So if you'd like to submit a question or a comment live at 00:53:00.38\00:53:05.05 3ABN.TV or by phone 618-228 -3975. 00:53:05.05\00:53:12.52 Anyway. 00:53:13.22\00:53:17.46 therapist off and on through the years but until I found 00:53:17.46\00:53:21.30 somebody that allowed me to process my grief work there's a 00:53:21.30\00:53:25.50 lot of sadness of what I didn't get and I had to say that out 00:53:25.50\00:53:29.24 loud to someone and I had to like even with what you did 00:53:29.24\00:53:32.07 Shelley just a little while ago your eyes were filled with 00:53:32.07\00:53:34.51 tears and you said I'm sorry. 00:53:34.51\00:53:36.41 Something about that is healing to somebody in trauma just not 00:53:36.98\00:53:41.78 even an explanation I can't make it right but just that I'm 00:53:41.78\00:53:45.29 sorry and I see you. 00:53:45.29\00:53:46.35 So I think that the grief work was probably the most important 00:53:46.52\00:53:49.52 thing for me even though I did a lot of work along the way. 00:53:49.52\00:53:52.39 So see a therapist talk to somebody when the Bible says 00:53:52.63\00:53:56.56 confess to one another and not our sins in the sense that 00:53:56.56\00:54:00.30 you're doing something even though some of us do sinful 00:54:00.30\00:54:03.77 things in our trauma but he says confess your sins one to 00:54:03.77\00:54:06.81 another pray for each other so that you may be healed. 00:54:06.81\00:54:09.34 There's something about just saying to another human being 00:54:09.61\00:54:12.55 man this hurt this was hard. 00:54:14.08\00:54:17.05 And you know something the worst thing that we can do when 00:54:17.69\00:54:21.02 someone is having a difficult time is to tell them you know 00:54:21.02\00:54:26.39 pull yourself up by the boot act like we understand. 00:54:26.39\00:54:30.17 You know well I know what you're going through I've been 00:54:30.40\00:54:32.43 there before or something. 00:54:32.43\00:54:33.44 None of us nobody knows but God but the good news is God does 00:54:34.64\00:54:39.24 know because it says in Isaiah 63 9 I believe it is that all 00:54:39.24\00:54:44.68 all of our afflictions he is afflicted with he feels all of 00:54:44.68\00:54:50.32 our discomfort and only God really knows. 00:54:50.32\00:54:52.85 So we need to learn as a people as a church as a Christian to 00:54:53.09\00:55:00.13 give people permission and not shame them. 00:55:00.13\00:55:05.70 You know when we tell them oh just pray harder you're shaming 00:55:05.77\00:55:09.50 them. 00:55:09.50\00:55:14.51 are told to go you're just not loving him you know enough you 00:55:14.51\00:55:19.95 got to be a better wife or something and they're living in 00:55:19.95\00:55:22.98 that and God doesn't want you to be in that but I'm so glad 00:55:22.98\00:55:27.22 that you're open about the therapy because that's quite 00:55:27.22\00:55:30.46 needed in cases. 00:55:30.46\00:55:31.56 I was really lucky and found some incredible therapists and 00:55:32.09\00:55:35.13 friends and I don't know and I've said this before but I 00:55:35.13\00:55:41.04 don't know if people at 3ABN realize how important you were 00:55:41.04\00:55:45.07 in my life because I walked in and was accepted. 00:55:45.07\00:55:48.78 I walked in and was given a seat. 00:55:48.98\00:55:51.15 I walked in and somebody said hey sit here and I hadn't had 00:55:51.21\00:55:55.75 that in my life and so the fact that that was so easy and it 00:55:55.75\00:55:59.32 was done I felt in such a real way that even though I didn't 00:55:59.32\00:56:04.76 say out loud man I need that I didn't run over and sit on 00:56:04.76\00:56:07.46 everybody's lap which I wanted to but you know what I mean 00:56:07.46\00:56:11.87 it's like I think that sometimes just loving each 00:56:11.87\00:56:14.20 other and that's what God wants us to do so you said something 00:56:14.20\00:56:18.64 earlier we've only got one minute we're gonna get to this 00:56:18.64\00:56:21.94 and we'll come hold that thought and we'll come back to 00:56:21.94\00:56:24.38 it this is a live program you can send your questions we're 00:56:24.38\00:56:28.62 gonna get into little more of dopamine regulation and what 00:56:28.62\00:56:33.19 you can do for healing, how God can heal you, and you can go to 00:56:33.19\00:56:38.16 him, but send your questions to email or to email them to live 00:56:38.16\00:56:44.20 at 3ABN.tv, that's live at 3ABN .tv, or text at 618-228-3975. 00:56:44.20\00:56:54.88 And before we go out, in case you can't join us for this 00:56:54.88\00:57:00.32 second hour, I wanted to put up Cherise, how you can contact 00:57:00.32\00:57:06.19 her by email, because you may want to invite her to come 00:57:06.19\00:57:09.96 speak at your church or come lead a seminar, and her email 00:57:09.96\00:57:14.23 is truestep, T-R-U-E, truestep, S-T-E-P, true step office at 00:57:14.23\00:57:22.37 gmail.com and that's how you can get in touch with Sheree. 00:57:22.37\00:57:27.71 We're going to come back in just a moment and she's got 00:57:27.91\00:57:31.21 some resources that we carry here at 3ABN that we want to 00:57:31.21\00:57:35.05 tell you about and we're going to get a little deeper into how 00:57:35.05\00:57:41.52 healing can happen through the grace of our Lord and Savior 00:57:41.52\00:57:45.89