I want to spend my life.
00:00:04.17\00:00:10.24
Mending broken people.
00:00:10.41\00:00:12.64
I want to spend my life.
00:00:15.78\00:00:19.01
I want to spend my life.
00:00:36.83\00:00:40.24
I want to spend my life.
00:00:47.64\00:00:51.35
Hello and welcome
to 3ABN Today Live.
00:01:06.80\00:01:09.23
We are so glad that you
have joined us this evening.
00:01:09.33\00:01:12.13
And yes, it is a live
program, just like I said.
00:01:12.13\00:01:15.14
It's Thursday evening
here in Southern Illinois.
00:01:15.57\00:01:17.41
And you know, Jill, we decided
to do this program as a live
00:01:17.87\00:01:21.31
because of the topic and
because we want to engage with
00:01:21.31\00:01:24.55
you.
00:01:24.55\00:01:28.52
of us, including you, are
either dealing with or have
00:01:28.52\00:01:32.35
dealt with.
00:01:32.35\00:01:36.09
with.
00:01:36.09\00:01:36.76
And that has to do with grief.
00:01:36.76\00:01:36.79
And it's not just grief and the
loss of maybe a family member
00:01:37.99\00:01:41.80
or a friend.
00:01:41.80\00:01:46.03
didn't work out
as you would plan.
00:01:46.03\00:01:47.24
Maybe you lost your job.
00:01:47.30\00:01:48.57
You're going
through a season of grief.
00:01:48.74\00:01:50.07
So many
different aspects of grief.
00:01:50.37\00:01:52.44
And so, Jill, we have a really
special, I'm going to call them
00:01:52.94\00:01:55.64
family member here, right?
00:01:55.64\00:01:56.64
3ABN.
00:01:57.25\00:01:57.71
Absolutely.
00:01:58.18\00:01:58.91
Tonight's topic is
grief, grace and gratitude.
00:01:59.15\00:02:03.02
And you might think, what does
gratitude have to do with grief
00:02:03.02\00:02:06.32
and grace?
00:02:06.32\00:02:07.09
We will unpack and
discover that tonight before we
00:02:07.42\00:02:11.56
introduce our
family here on the set.
00:02:11.56\00:02:14.10
I just want to let you
know this is a live program.
00:02:14.36\00:02:16.60
If you're dealing with grief
in your life, if you're walking
00:02:16.73\00:02:20.17
through a season where you're
wondering, where are you, God?
00:02:20.17\00:02:23.77
And you're
struggling in your walk.
00:02:23.94\00:02:26.21
We want to pray for you.
00:02:26.41\00:02:28.04
Call us right now with either
your questions on grief or your
00:02:28.04\00:02:32.95
prayer needs
and prayer requests.
00:02:32.95\00:02:34.65
The call center is open and
the sooner you get those in, the
00:02:34.95\00:02:38.45
sooner we make sure we can read
those and pray over them and
00:02:38.45\00:02:41.69
answer those
questions here tonight.
00:02:41.69\00:02:43.16
So you can call
us at 618-627 -4651.
00:02:43.53\00:02:48.00
That number is 618-627-4651.
00:02:48.86\00:02:52.40
You can pick up your cell phone
and text in your questions at
00:02:52.60\00:02:56.97
618 -228-3975.
00:02:56.97\00:03:00.78
That's 618-228-3975.
00:03:01.28\00:03:04.18
Or you can email your
questions live at 3ABN.TV.
00:03:04.35\00:03:10.05
That's L-I-V-E at 3ABN.TV.
00:03:10.39\00:03:14.09
So our family member on the
set with us tonight is Dr. Frank
00:03:14.52\00:03:19.26
Hasel.
00:03:19.26\00:03:19.76
Good to be here with you.
00:03:19.89\00:03:23.53
Research Institute.
00:03:23.53\00:03:25.47
And I know you've been on
before and we were so blessed
00:03:25.47\00:03:29.54
by your own journey.
00:03:29.54\00:03:31.57
You've written this book, Love
Is a Journey of Grief, Grace,
00:03:32.41\00:03:37.15
and Gratitude.
00:03:37.31\00:03:38.11
And we'll be
talking about your journey.
00:03:38.18\00:03:39.51
But tell us in a nutshell what
happened in your life back in
00:03:40.15\00:03:44.32
2009.
00:03:44.32\00:03:44.92
Well, in 2009, something
happened that I never wished
00:03:45.99\00:03:48.89
would happen.
00:03:48.89\00:03:50.26
And that is, my wife
got sick with breast cancer.
00:03:50.26\00:03:55.30
And within just not even a
year, she died and left me and
00:03:56.43\00:04:03.00
our three
children basically alone.
00:04:03.00\00:04:05.97
And that completely changed
my life and turned everything
00:04:06.78\00:04:11.78
upside down.
00:04:11.78\00:04:12.98
And I have learned to live with
that and arrange with that and
00:04:12.98\00:04:18.52
cope with that in
various ways since then.
00:04:18.52\00:04:22.09
Up until now, it's
still a learning experience.
00:04:22.66\00:04:25.56
Yeah, I think when we talk
about these topics, sometimes
00:04:26.73\00:04:30.80
we can say, okay,
they're just talking about it.
00:04:30.80\00:04:33.23
They don't know about it.
00:04:33.23\00:04:34.30
But Dr. Hasel has been through
this and is going through this.
00:04:34.47\00:04:37.14
And we can unpack this a little
bit further in the program.
00:04:37.67\00:04:40.31
But I know you say that
grief is an expression of love,
00:04:40.31\00:04:49.62
correct?
00:04:49.78\00:04:53.32
look at it.
00:04:53.32\00:04:54.19
So if you didn't
love, you wouldn't grieve.
00:04:54.29\00:04:55.86
That's something that I learned
new, really, that I didn't see
00:04:55.86\00:04:59.46
like that before.
00:04:59.46\00:05:00.76
But if you start to understand
that the reason why you grieve
00:05:00.76\00:05:07.27
is because you loved the
person in the first place.
00:05:07.27\00:05:10.51
You would not grieve if you
had some love experience with a
00:05:10.84\00:05:15.41
person.
00:05:15.41\00:05:18.75
seen, never heard, where you
don't have any close connection
00:05:18.75\00:05:23.25
with, you don't grieve.
00:05:23.25\00:05:24.45
But the closer you are with the
person, the more you've loved
00:05:24.45\00:05:28.42
the person, the more intense
that relationship was, the more
00:05:28.42\00:05:31.63
intense the grief is.
00:05:31.63\00:05:32.83
So grief really is an
expression of our love for the
00:05:33.23\00:05:36.30
person.
00:05:36.30\00:05:36.90
And that helped me to
understand why grief can be so
00:05:37.43\00:05:40.24
intense, why grief can come
up at the most unexpected little
00:05:40.24\00:05:46.34
circumstances that you
don't even think about.
00:05:46.34\00:05:49.61
You know, just like love
permeates everything in your
00:05:49.61\00:05:52.71
life, from the cooking to the
vacation to the work life and
00:05:52.71\00:05:59.12
everything in between, all of
a sudden a little something that
00:05:59.12\00:06:03.06
you read, the music that you
hear, the smell that you smell,
00:06:03.06\00:06:08.00
and all of a sudden you're
reminded of the other person
00:06:08.33\00:06:11.37
and it brings back memories.
00:06:11.37\00:06:13.60
Yeah, yeah.
00:06:13.60\00:06:15.17
We're going to unpack this
story, his story, his journey
00:06:15.74\00:06:19.04
of grief and grace in the
midst of that and gratitude.
00:06:19.04\00:06:22.94
And where is God
in the midst of that?
00:06:23.08\00:06:25.25
The art of biblical
lament and many more things.
00:06:25.28\00:06:28.92
But first we're
going to go to some music.
00:06:29.22\00:06:31.29
Reggie and Lady Love Smith are
with us and the song they'll be
00:06:31.69\00:06:35.29
ministering is I Will Serve You.
00:06:35.29\00:06:38.33
I will serve thee
because I love thee.
00:06:53.61\00:07:02.98
You have given life.
00:07:04.49\00:07:09.76
There was nothing
before you found me.
00:07:16.03\00:07:25.57
You have given
00:07:25.57\00:07:30.21
to me
00:07:34.18\00:07:36.55
heartaches and broken pieces.
00:07:41.09\00:07:49.23
Waves are why you
00:07:52.90\00:07:56.87
is what I long for.
00:08:07.22\00:08:12.12
You have given life.
00:08:14.69\00:08:19.53
I will serve thee
00:08:27.20\00:08:31.64
because I love thee.
00:08:36.08\00:08:38.61
To me
00:08:44.15\00:08:47.12
before you found me.
00:08:56.80\00:09:03.20
You have given life to me.
00:09:03.20\00:09:17.39
Broken pieces.
00:09:24.99\00:09:30.97
Ruined lives are
why you died all three.
00:09:31.87\00:09:44.91
Your touch was what I long
00:09:45.51\00:09:52.85
for.
00:09:56.26\00:09:56.86
You have given life to me.
00:09:56.86\00:10:06.60
You have given
00:10:11.41\00:10:15.38
to me.
00:10:19.25\00:10:24.52
Thank you so very much
Reggie and Lady Love Smith.
00:10:42.14\00:10:45.24
I will serve thee.
00:10:45.71\00:10:47.61
Praise God for that.
00:10:47.61\00:10:48.78
No matter what we are going
through in life, God wants us
00:10:48.84\00:10:52.98
to praise Him and to serve Him.
00:10:52.98\00:10:55.62
We're here this
evening with Dr. Frank Hasel.
00:10:56.02\00:10:59.05
He of course has an important
role at the Biblical Research
00:10:59.22\00:11:03.19
Institute.
00:11:03.19\00:11:03.76
He's the Associate Director.
00:11:03.86\00:11:04.66
But this evening he's
here talking to us about grief.
00:11:04.99\00:11:08.40
And we titled the program,
Grief, Grace and Gratitude,
00:11:08.50\00:11:11.90
which really is
the title of his book.
00:11:12.23\00:11:13.87
And the title of his book is
we have it here this evening and
00:11:13.94\00:11:16.14
we have something really
special to tell you about this
00:11:16.14\00:11:18.07
book too.
00:11:18.07\00:11:18.97
It's Love is a Journey of
Grief, Grace and Gratitude.
00:11:19.24\00:11:24.45
A very powerful book.
00:11:24.55\00:11:26.38
Several months ago we had the
privilege of having Dr. Frank
00:11:26.72\00:11:29.55
Hasel here at 3ABN
for today's program.
00:11:29.55\00:11:32.65
And the response was
absolutely tremendous, Jules.
00:11:33.09\00:11:35.39
So we decided, you know what,
let's bring him back for an
00:11:35.39\00:11:37.73
actual live program.
00:11:37.73\00:11:38.69
So yes, this is a live program.
00:11:38.89\00:11:40.96
And you may say,
well, why is that?
00:11:40.96\00:11:42.26
Well, because we are opening
up the phone lines for any
00:11:42.26\00:11:45.90
questions,
comments or prayer requests.
00:11:45.90\00:11:49.44
We want to pray over your
prayer requests this evening.
00:11:49.50\00:11:52.07
And so the phone number for
the call center, they're down
00:11:52.37\00:11:54.84
there, I think Marilyn or
Rachel and the team are down at
00:11:54.84\00:11:56.88
the call center this evening
just waiting for your phone
00:11:56.88\00:11:58.88
call.
00:11:58.88\00:12:00.78
If you're listening on
radio, here it is, 618-627-4651.
00:12:00.85\00:12:06.55
And you may have an actual
cell phone and want to text.
00:12:07.12\00:12:10.09
So you can text 3ABN.
00:12:10.39\00:12:11.96
Isn't that amazing?
00:12:11.96\00:12:12.73
Technology.
00:12:12.86\00:12:13.26
It's 618-228-3975.
00:12:14.60\00:12:19.17
So you can take your cell phone
out and text us your question,
00:12:19.57\00:12:22.24
comment, prayer
request, 618 -228-3975.
00:12:22.44\00:12:26.11
And Jill, let me
look at my notes.
00:12:26.54\00:12:27.78
You can also email, if you
like to email, live at 3ABN.tv.
00:12:27.88\00:12:32.68
And I want to
just mention this too.
00:12:33.08\00:12:34.35
Thank you so much, Dr.
Frank, because you have actually
00:12:34.42\00:12:36.82
provided this book to 3ABN.
00:12:36.82\00:12:38.82
I know we have a
hundred of them coming here.
00:12:38.82\00:12:38.85
And so you can
order this book tonight.
00:12:40.49\00:12:42.89
It's a
suggested donation of $19.
00:12:43.06\00:12:45.19
And that's postage
paid to you here in the U.S.
00:12:45.89\00:12:48.76
So kind of first
come, first serve.
00:12:48.83\00:12:50.10
The call center is open.
00:12:50.20\00:12:51.07
Is it available online?
00:12:51.57\00:12:52.43
It is online as well.
00:12:52.70\00:12:53.77
This just happened like today.
00:12:53.77\00:12:53.80
This is a live
program here Thursday night.
00:12:55.40\00:12:57.24
So I believe they have
this up on the website.
00:12:57.54\00:12:59.61
So you can
quickly go to the website.
00:12:59.77\00:13:00.78
Hey, thank you so
much, Ian and the team there.
00:13:00.84\00:13:02.74
3ABNstore.com.
00:13:04.48\00:13:05.28
And that's the website you
can go to to order it online.
00:13:05.68\00:13:07.88
Or just call the call center,
order the book, suggested
00:13:07.92\00:13:10.35
donation, $19, postage
paid to you here in the U.S.
00:13:10.35\00:13:13.19
And then also give us your
prayer request, your question
00:13:13.42\00:13:15.32
or comment for Dr.
Hossel this evening.
00:13:15.32\00:13:17.89
But looking forward to
this evening's program.
00:13:18.16\00:13:20.63
And again, it's about grief.
00:13:20.73\00:13:21.70
And it's not just
about losing a loved one.
00:13:22.13\00:13:24.47
We're going to unpack
his story a little bit more.
00:13:24.57\00:13:26.33
But it's actually anything
in life that you had planned on
00:13:26.37\00:13:29.30
and something happened and
you're going through a grieving
00:13:29.30\00:13:30.94
process.
00:13:30.94\00:13:31.61
So stay tuned for
all two hours tonight.
00:13:31.81\00:13:34.01
And here's a prayer request,
the first one that came in.
00:13:34.41\00:13:36.68
So we'll read this
one now from Marinda.
00:13:36.68\00:13:38.35
Well, when you send in
your prayer requests, we want to
00:13:38.35\00:13:42.12
pray over them or your
questions for Dr. Hossel
00:13:42.12\00:13:45.05
regarding grief.
00:13:45.05\00:13:46.12
Tell us where you're from.
00:13:46.29\00:13:47.56
You might say just give us
the state where you live or the
00:13:48.02\00:13:51.13
country where you live because
we'd like to give a shout out
00:13:51.13\00:13:54.10
to that as well.
00:13:54.10\00:13:57.80
prayer for her friend who went
into the hospital this evening.
00:13:57.80\00:14:01.04
Oh, wow, just this evening.
00:14:01.04\00:14:01.07
So let's stop and just have
a quick prayer when we get an
00:14:03.51\00:14:07.44
accumulation,
we'll pray over more.
00:14:07.44\00:14:08.94
But let's have a quick prayer
for Marinda's friend Karen
00:14:09.08\00:14:12.21
right now.
00:14:12.21\00:14:12.78
Holy Father, we come before
you in the name of Jesus and we
00:14:14.28\00:14:16.92
lift up Karen before you.
00:14:16.92\00:14:18.49
Lord, we ask right now you work
with the doctors and the nurses
00:14:18.79\00:14:22.16
who are working with her.
00:14:22.16\00:14:23.29
We don't know what her physical
condition is, but you do.
00:14:23.43\00:14:26.63
You are the great physician
and we commit her to you.
00:14:26.90\00:14:30.00
We're asking for grace,
for peace, for your special
00:14:30.07\00:14:33.44
presence to be with her.
00:14:33.44\00:14:35.17
And Lord, we pray for Marinda
that you would bring comfort to
00:14:35.17\00:14:38.21
her heart at this time as
well and we thank you in Jesus'
00:14:38.21\00:14:41.48
name.
00:14:41.74\00:14:41.98
Amen.
00:14:42.34\00:14:42.81
So Dr. Frank, tell us, you were
telling us just before we went
00:14:44.61\00:14:48.45
to the music, your wife
diagnosed with breast cancer in
00:14:48.45\00:14:53.69
2009.
00:14:53.69\00:14:54.62
Thank you.
00:14:55.19\00:14:55.69
What went through
your mind at that time?
00:14:57.26\00:14:58.93
What emotions were you dealing
with when you discovered that
00:14:59.03\00:15:02.20
diagnosis?
00:15:02.20\00:15:02.80
You know, this is
something that you don't expect.
00:15:04.57\00:15:08.17
Especially if you live a
healthy lifestyle, if there's
00:15:10.31\00:15:15.64
no indication whatsoever
that this might happen.
00:15:15.64\00:15:18.88
But since we live in a sinful
world, even those who have the
00:15:19.58\00:15:24.52
most healthiest lifestyle
are affected by negative things
00:15:24.52\00:15:28.29
that are part of this world
and part of our experience.
00:15:28.29\00:15:32.36
So when we first heard
about the news, it was a shock.
00:15:33.66\00:15:38.63
Yeah.
00:15:40.14\00:15:40.34
And we had to process that.
00:15:41.30\00:15:42.94
And with the shock
comes a sense of fear.
00:15:44.87\00:15:47.98
Because even today, you
know, with all the advances in
00:15:48.91\00:15:53.11
medicine and
science, cancer is a disease.
00:15:53.11\00:15:58.59
It's a scary word.
00:15:58.59\00:15:59.72
That is not easy to handle
because it is so unpredictable.
00:15:59.72\00:16:07.66
If I have a cold, if I
have a fever, I'll take a little
00:16:08.16\00:16:10.53
medicine and the thing is done.
00:16:10.53\00:16:11.90
But here we are dealing with
something that nobody has the
00:16:12.70\00:16:17.01
final control over.
00:16:17.01\00:16:18.81
And you have to learn that
there are some things in life
00:16:19.51\00:16:22.54
that are just not in your power
to control as you would like
00:16:22.54\00:16:27.08
to.
00:16:27.08\00:16:32.82
all the open questions
that come along with it and the
00:16:32.82\00:16:36.09
fears, you know, and the not
knowing how will this end, will
00:16:36.09\00:16:40.20
she make it, will the
treatments be, you know,
00:16:40.20\00:16:43.63
helpful or not, and what will
be the outcome and all these
00:16:44.47\00:16:49.17
things.
00:16:49.17\00:16:55.01
the uncertainty, the in-between
of not knowing how things will
00:16:55.01\00:17:01.32
end.
00:17:01.32\00:17:01.62
This, I think, is draining.
00:17:02.72\00:17:05.09
It's draining your energies
and is even affecting your
00:17:05.25\00:17:08.76
spiritual life.
00:17:08.76\00:17:09.46
And not only was it you and
your wife dealing with this,
00:17:10.76\00:17:13.70
but you also have three sons.
00:17:14.00\00:17:16.77
How old were they
at the time in 2009?
00:17:17.13\00:17:19.77
Well, the youngest was
just 11 and the oldest was 19.
00:17:20.30\00:17:25.44
16.
00:17:26.34\00:17:26.88
So, yeah, you have to deal with
all these questions as well,
00:17:27.54\00:17:35.05
and then I'm working full-time.
00:17:35.12\00:17:37.62
And she was working full-time,
not full-time, but part-time.
00:17:38.59\00:17:43.63
But, you know, you have to
adjust your life to so many
00:17:44.59\00:17:49.26
things.
00:17:49.26\00:17:51.47
family picture of you guys back
in, I think, 2009, or close to
00:17:51.47\00:17:54.34
that time there.
00:17:54.34\00:17:55.10
Yes.
00:17:55.34\00:17:57.71
What year was this?
00:17:57.81\00:17:58.67
Was this 2009?
00:17:58.71\00:17:59.77
I cannot tell you, but it
was a little earlier than that.
00:17:59.87\00:18:02.78
Yeah, beautiful family.
00:18:03.48\00:18:04.41
You were two earlier.
00:18:04.45\00:18:05.78
Yeah, wow.
00:18:06.11\00:18:07.02
How do you deal with that?
00:18:08.58\00:18:09.68
Because I'm sure someone
tonight is saying, you know,
00:18:09.72\00:18:11.42
hey, I'm in this situation.
00:18:11.42\00:18:11.45
How do I even talk to my
children about this, that
00:18:12.72\00:18:15.26
something may
happen to mommy or daddy?
00:18:15.26\00:18:17.13
Or how do you even process
or communicate that with your
00:18:17.23\00:18:20.30
children?
00:18:20.30\00:18:24.47
succeeded in doing that
well, you know, because for one
00:18:24.47\00:18:29.07
thing, when you are afraid
of some things, you're not in a
00:18:29.07\00:18:32.14
position to communicate well.
00:18:32.14\00:18:33.74
Yeah.
00:18:33.94\00:18:34.48
Wow.
00:18:34.58\00:18:34.88
That's a deep statement.
00:18:35.81\00:18:37.01
Mm-hmm.
00:18:37.25\00:18:37.78
That is.
00:18:37.78\00:18:38.58
That's so true.
00:18:38.71\00:18:39.65
And you have to learn to deal
with your own uncertainties and
00:18:39.95\00:18:43.69
questions and
fears in the first place.
00:18:43.69\00:18:46.72
But I was fortunate enough
to have a partner with whom I
00:18:46.82\00:18:51.93
could speak honestly, and she
did the same with me, and so we
00:18:51.93\00:18:57.23
could talk about these things
and even talk about our fears.
00:18:57.23\00:19:01.44
Yeah.
00:19:02.60\00:19:07.81
perhaps it could be
that she would not make it.
00:19:07.81\00:19:14.42
You know, if you're still not
saying that she will die, this
00:19:14.42\00:19:17.69
is too raw to even articulate
as a word, and it takes some
00:19:17.69\00:19:23.39
time even after the event until
you're able to specifically
00:19:23.39\00:19:29.06
name the thing that happened.
00:19:29.06\00:19:31.03
But on the other hand, the
moment you're able to do that,
00:19:32.20\00:19:35.34
it's the start, I think, of a
healing process, because at the
00:19:35.47\00:19:39.67
beginning, you're not even able
to mention it because it hurts
00:19:39.67\00:19:44.98
so much, you know, and you
don't want to admit it in the
00:19:44.98\00:19:49.08
first place.
00:19:49.08\00:19:53.59
in your mind or in discussions
with your wife, like if she
00:19:53.59\00:19:57.49
were not to make it, does that
feel like I'm not possessing
00:19:57.49\00:20:00.56
enough faith or...?
00:20:00.56\00:20:02.33
No, actually, to be quite
honest, this is not how we ever
00:20:02.33\00:20:07.04
felt.
00:20:07.04\00:20:07.44
Okay.
00:20:07.57\00:20:08.40
Some people have that
experience or that feeling, but
00:20:08.67\00:20:14.04
with us, this was never a
matter of having enough faith
00:20:14.04\00:20:19.41
or not enough faith because
we knew full well that God is
00:20:19.41\00:20:24.09
capable of doing miracles.
00:20:24.09\00:20:25.49
I've worked as a
pastor for many years.
00:20:26.55\00:20:28.76
I have seen people who had
cancer and were healed in a
00:20:29.49\00:20:35.50
miraculous way.
00:20:35.50\00:20:36.20
So I know God is alive.
00:20:36.36\00:20:39.13
He's still alive today.
00:20:39.17\00:20:40.40
He is capable of doing
remarkable things, miracles
00:20:40.40\00:20:44.77
indeed, and yet this is not a
guarantee that this will happen
00:20:44.77\00:20:49.01
all the time.
00:20:49.01\00:20:50.05
So the real challenge is not
that you believe that God can
00:20:50.48\00:20:56.58
make a miracle, but the real
challenge is to trust God fully
00:20:56.58\00:21:01.89
enough even if He
does not make the miracle.
00:21:01.89\00:21:05.19
Wow.
00:21:06.86\00:21:06.90
Yes.
00:21:07.46\00:21:07.83
That's good.
00:21:07.83\00:21:07.86
you don't see the immediate
result or the hope for a
00:21:14.27\00:21:19.61
miracle in your life.
00:21:19.61\00:21:20.78
And I think that is something
that we need to learn as
00:21:21.08\00:21:24.08
Christians.
00:21:24.08\00:21:24.65
We all want to see the miracle.
00:21:25.15\00:21:26.75
We all...
00:21:26.92\00:21:27.35
True.
00:21:28.02\00:21:28.32
That's understandable.
00:21:28.58\00:21:29.52
And yet at the same time,
I think we have to learn with
00:21:30.45\00:21:35.36
open questions.
00:21:35.36\00:21:36.59
We have to learn to trust God
despite and even if our wishes
00:21:36.59\00:21:43.30
are not fulfilled as we
desire them or want to see them.
00:21:43.30\00:21:48.67
I like the question as far
as Jill was asking about you and
00:21:50.31\00:21:52.94
your wife.
00:21:52.94\00:21:55.58
again.
00:21:55.58\00:21:56.34
It just keeps coming back in my
mind that you've got an 11-year
00:21:56.85\00:22:00.35
-old.
00:22:00.35\00:22:01.32
Yes.
00:22:01.32\00:22:01.35
Right?
00:22:01.65\00:22:05.69
Right?
00:22:06.12\00:22:06.59
So when it comes that she
passes, I know He's not here on
00:22:07.29\00:22:11.63
the set tonight that
we can ask Him directly.
00:22:11.63\00:22:13.86
But still that process of like,
okay, so we pray to find the
00:22:14.10\00:22:18.37
car keys and God
shows us the car keys.
00:22:18.37\00:22:20.20
We pray for Mommy who's to
me much more valuable than car
00:22:20.30\00:22:23.67
keys.
00:22:23.67\00:22:24.07
And we find the car
keys, but Mommy's not healed.
00:22:24.77\00:22:28.11
Those are difficult questions
and I don't know that we even
00:22:29.18\00:22:32.05
know all the answers to
eternity maybe, but those are
00:22:32.05\00:22:35.12
tough things that people,
especially kids, even adults,
00:22:35.12\00:22:38.29
ask.
00:22:38.79\00:22:39.59
You know, absolutely, and there
are no easy answers to those
00:22:39.99\00:22:43.89
questions.
00:22:43.89\00:22:44.39
But I think it is important
to remember two things.
00:22:45.43\00:22:49.83
Okay.
00:22:49.90\00:22:55.30
and I'm not saying that
I succeeded in that or we
00:22:55.34\00:22:58.04
succeeded in that sometimes,
you know, you learn after the
00:22:58.04\00:23:02.61
event.
00:23:02.61\00:23:02.88
Of course.
00:23:02.98\00:23:03.51
Yeah, of course.
00:23:03.61\00:23:04.21
But even then, you know, it
is important not just to portray
00:23:05.81\00:23:09.68
God as a God who is always
fulfilling our prayers in the
00:23:09.68\00:23:13.79
way we desire, because He knows
more and He knows better and He
00:23:13.79\00:23:17.06
knows things that
we are not aware of.
00:23:17.06\00:23:18.93
And yet to talk about God
in such a way that our trust in
00:23:19.53\00:23:23.47
God is not
diminished, but is strengthened.
00:23:23.47\00:23:26.43
So that is the first challenge.
00:23:26.63\00:23:28.67
Yes.
00:23:28.67\00:23:31.44
especially with children who
are younger is that often these
00:23:31.44\00:23:36.58
children, young children for
that matter, are not even able
00:23:36.58\00:23:40.98
to articulate what
they think about this.
00:23:40.98\00:23:43.69
Yes.
00:23:43.72\00:23:48.79
that I went to our family
doctor who had helped us in the
00:23:49.52\00:23:53.33
final stages of her sickness
and knew our family very well.
00:23:53.33\00:23:57.20
And so I was with him
for some other reason.
00:23:57.20\00:24:00.67
And he just asked, you
know, Frank, how are you doing?
00:24:01.37\00:24:03.77
You know, how is
the family doing?
00:24:03.87\00:24:05.01
And so I told him and I said,
well, I try to talk about it,
00:24:05.71\00:24:10.18
to give them an opportunity to
speak about their feelings, to
00:24:10.25\00:24:14.28
articulate.
00:24:14.28\00:24:14.85
But I said, my
youngest never says a word.
00:24:15.98\00:24:19.59
Wow.
00:24:20.09\00:24:20.59
You know?
00:24:20.72\00:24:21.39
And then the doctor,
you know, you learn things.
00:24:21.79\00:24:25.53
Yeah, sure.
00:24:25.76\00:24:26.03
Right?
00:24:26.03\00:24:31.43
11 -year-old to say?
00:24:31.43\00:24:33.03
He has no words
for that experience.
00:24:33.64\00:24:35.60
He has never experienced that.
00:24:35.94\00:24:37.37
He cannot even find the words
to articulate what he is going
00:24:37.67\00:24:42.41
through.
00:24:42.41\00:24:50.19
children even with the
inability to express things.
00:24:50.19\00:24:53.89
Or even, you know, even in
their anger or even in their
00:24:53.89\00:24:58.86
not understanding or their
tough questions about God and
00:24:58.86\00:25:04.03
His justice and
His love and His mercy.
00:25:04.03\00:25:06.20
This is not that they are
denying everything, but you
00:25:07.14\00:25:09.97
know, everything is in turmoil.
00:25:09.97\00:25:11.97
Everything is upside down.
00:25:12.14\00:25:14.11
And so you just have to accept
that not everybody is in a
00:25:14.38\00:25:18.68
position to react the way
you would like them to react.
00:25:18.68\00:25:23.39
And be understanding
and accept that too, right?
00:25:23.39\00:25:27.32
Because each of your children
probably process that grief
00:25:27.39\00:25:29.89
differently.
00:25:29.89\00:25:30.76
Everyone processes
it very differently.
00:25:30.76\00:25:30.79
That's a good point.
00:25:32.69\00:25:33.46
And there is a reason for
that because everyone has a
00:25:34.56\00:25:38.97
different
relationship to that person.
00:25:38.97\00:25:41.07
That's good.
00:25:41.27\00:25:48.04
husband and friend.
00:25:48.04\00:25:49.04
That's right.
00:25:49.04\00:25:49.08
The relationship of my oldest
is a different relationship
00:25:50.31\00:25:53.25
from the youngest.
00:25:53.25\00:25:54.15
Of course.
00:25:54.45\00:25:54.95
Even though
it's the same mother.
00:25:55.28\00:25:56.32
That's right.
00:25:56.42\00:25:57.22
There's a
different relationship.
00:25:57.25\00:25:58.42
And that's why every person
relates even to the same person
00:25:58.42\00:25:58.45
in different ways.
00:26:02.09\00:26:03.22
Yeah.
00:26:03.22\00:26:07.13
handle this
situation, you should also.
00:26:07.13\00:26:09.53
Right.
00:26:09.53\00:26:13.87
relationship to that person.
00:26:13.87\00:26:15.47
And you need to take
that into consideration.
00:26:15.47\00:26:17.47
Thank you all for
sending in your prayer requests.
00:26:18.54\00:26:21.74
You can call us 618-627-4651.
00:26:22.78\00:26:28.35
Greg distracted me over here.
00:26:28.48\00:26:29.78
Yes, sir.
00:26:29.78\00:26:30.29
He had a mic issue.
00:26:30.29\00:26:30.89
618-627-4651.
00:26:31.29\00:26:35.32
Call in those prayer requests
or those questions on grief
00:26:35.62\00:26:38.96
specifically for Dr.
Frank Haslow here this evening.
00:26:38.96\00:26:42.53
We're hearing his journey of
grief and grace and gratitude
00:26:42.86\00:26:47.24
here this evening.
00:26:47.24\00:26:48.57
Or you can get his
book when you call in.
00:26:48.87\00:26:51.14
Say, yes, you want
a copy of his book.
00:26:51.24\00:26:53.81
As Greg referenced, we
have a hundred coming in.
00:26:53.88\00:26:56.48
That's the first batch.
00:26:56.78\00:26:57.75
We can always order more,
but that's the first batch.
00:26:57.95\00:27:00.28
So definitely we'd love you
to have a copy of that book.
00:27:00.78\00:27:03.89
Or you can get it at
3ABNstore .com as well.
00:27:03.99\00:27:09.12
We have several prayer requests
that have come in and we'll
00:27:09.62\00:27:12.19
pray for them.
00:27:12.19\00:27:15.26
He lives in
Nashville, Tennessee.
00:27:15.26\00:27:16.77
He wants prayer.
00:27:17.33\00:27:18.27
His wife died.
00:27:18.67\00:27:19.67
He lost his eyesight.
00:27:19.93\00:27:21.60
Feels that God has left him.
00:27:22.47\00:27:24.81
His vision started leaving when
he buried his wife and it's all
00:27:25.54\00:27:29.04
gone now.
00:27:29.04\00:27:29.74
He's so lonely.
00:27:30.25\00:27:31.58
He used to come up to 3ABN,
but now he can't and he just has
00:27:32.25\00:27:37.95
difficulty
getting out to church.
00:27:37.95\00:27:39.69
What would you tell him?
00:27:40.39\00:27:41.42
Is there anything
specific in the midst of that?
00:27:41.42\00:27:44.63
Well, the only thing that comes
to my mind right now is really
00:27:46.36\00:27:53.23
God understands and God is
at your side and he is your
00:27:53.23\00:28:00.21
friend.
00:28:00.21\00:28:00.84
And talk to him, talk to him.
00:28:01.68\00:28:03.28
And I hope you find some other
friends and people around that
00:28:04.85\00:28:10.69
can just be with him and
be your presence in his life.
00:28:10.69\00:28:15.72
I want to just bring this up
and maybe it's out of order and
00:28:16.89\00:28:19.16
we can come back to it or
however it's come to mind, but
00:28:19.16\00:28:21.63
that's the whole aspect of
the grief as far as losing a
00:28:21.63\00:28:24.53
spouse, but then he talks
about losing his eyesight.
00:28:24.53\00:28:26.67
Could we say that
could be grief as well?
00:28:28.30\00:28:30.37
That's a double, triple grief.
00:28:32.71\00:28:34.21
Grief is not just loss of a
loved one, but this is a loss
00:28:35.21\00:28:37.65
of being able to see.
00:28:37.65\00:28:38.95
If you have an accident,
you lose the ability to walk.
00:28:39.35\00:28:43.25
True, paralyzed or something.
00:28:43.28\00:28:44.49
And you're grieving about
not being able to pursue your
00:28:45.05\00:28:48.39
career, your profession,
your dreams, your aspirations,
00:28:48.39\00:28:52.09
whatever it is.
00:28:52.23\00:28:52.93
And that's a grieving process.
00:28:53.60\00:28:55.30
If somebody ruins
your reputation by talking
00:28:55.70\00:28:59.07
negatively about it, that's
a grieving process as well.
00:28:59.07\00:29:02.40
And then of course,
loss is grief as well.
00:29:02.40\00:29:08.24
Yeah, see those are great
things because to be honest
00:29:08.84\00:29:10.35
with you, I hadn't really
thought of grief that way.
00:29:10.35\00:29:12.88
You know, it's just usually to
me it's more of loss of a loved
00:29:13.21\00:29:15.38
one or even like I remember as
a kid, you know, my little pet
00:29:15.38\00:29:18.09
died and I was really sad
that my cat had died and dog.
00:29:18.09\00:29:20.96
And that's a grief process too.
00:29:21.06\00:29:22.52
It is, yes.
00:29:22.52\00:29:23.32
Not to be ignored.
00:29:23.36\00:29:27.50
other.
00:29:27.50\00:29:30.20
And if that is no longer there,
something is missing in your
00:29:30.20\00:29:33.80
life.
00:29:33.80\00:29:36.77
grief tonight.
00:29:36.77\00:29:38.01
So we're talking about it, but
we are going to get to how we
00:29:38.27\00:29:40.51
process it, how we work through
it, how the Bible can help us.
00:29:40.51\00:29:43.98
It's just, yeah, just
a lot of great things.
00:29:44.11\00:29:45.85
This two hours
are going by quickly.
00:29:46.61\00:29:48.05
So you've got some
prayer requests here.
00:29:48.35\00:29:49.58
Maybe we'll just run through
these and have a prayer and
00:29:49.85\00:29:51.59
then go back to your journey.
00:29:51.59\00:29:52.82
I'll ask you to pray, Dr. Frank.
00:29:53.12\00:29:54.29
Okay, you want to read some too?
00:29:54.96\00:29:56.09
Sure, let me get my
glasses on so I can see.
00:29:56.09\00:29:58.33
Let's see, good evening.
00:29:58.33\00:30:00.03
Yes, this is a
say, this is okay.
00:30:00.36\00:30:03.00
Please pray for my daughter,
Destiny, in getting a position
00:30:03.20\00:30:07.17
she interviewed for, so a job,
and help her to stay hopeful in
00:30:07.17\00:30:11.11
the Lord.
00:30:11.11\00:30:11.61
That's a good point.
00:30:11.61\00:30:11.64
Sometimes when you're trying
to get something and it's not
00:30:12.81\00:30:15.51
working out, you can lose faith.
00:30:15.51\00:30:16.91
So that's great.
00:30:16.95\00:30:18.11
Pray for her.
00:30:18.18\00:30:19.18
And then from Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania, so very much, so
00:30:19.41\00:30:22.62
we'll definitely keep
her in prayer, Destiny.
00:30:22.62\00:30:24.95
This is Nathan.
00:30:25.65\00:30:26.62
He says, I'm
watching the program.
00:30:26.62\00:30:28.39
Please pray for me.
00:30:28.62\00:30:29.92
Doesn't say what he needs, but
the Lord knows and we will pray
00:30:29.96\00:30:33.40
for that.
00:30:33.40\00:30:33.83
This is Joy.
00:30:34.40\00:30:35.16
She lives in the
British Virgin Islands.
00:30:35.26\00:30:37.37
She's turning 90 in May,
so happy early birthday, Joy.
00:30:37.90\00:30:42.40
She says, she
watches 3 AM all the time.
00:30:42.84\00:30:46.54
This one's from
Delaware, Anonymous.
00:30:46.84\00:30:49.01
Pray for Valanda who
was hospitalized today.
00:30:50.65\00:30:53.92
Okay, this is from Sam.
00:30:54.12\00:30:56.02
I'm asked for prayer for
protection from the enemy and
00:30:56.02\00:31:00.09
those that mean
him harm and Anonymous.
00:31:00.09\00:31:04.73
Please pray for my son, Vaughn.
00:31:05.89\00:31:09.03
So children, definitely.
00:31:09.26\00:31:10.57
Wow, a lot of hurting
and grieving people there.
00:31:11.37\00:31:13.57
Let's have her a
short prayer, Dr. Frank.
00:31:14.30\00:31:15.64
If you wouldn't mind.
00:31:15.67\00:31:16.07
Sure.
00:31:16.20\00:31:16.47
Please.
00:31:17.24\00:31:17.27
Let's pray.
00:31:17.77\00:31:18.67
Gracious Lord, you know us.
00:31:19.54\00:31:23.21
You're familiar with all
the little big and gigantic
00:31:23.21\00:31:28.85
challenges that we face and
you've heard the people and the
00:31:28.85\00:31:34.09
requests that have been
submitted here and we just lift
00:31:34.09\00:31:36.69
them up to you that you will
be with destiny and keep her
00:31:36.69\00:31:42.13
hopeful that this experience of
looking for a new job can be an
00:31:42.13\00:31:48.50
experience that
draws her closer to you.
00:31:48.50\00:31:50.64
We also ask for Nathan who
hasn't given us any specifics
00:31:51.64\00:31:56.85
but you know his case.
00:31:56.85\00:31:58.21
You know where he needs
your help and where he needs
00:31:58.21\00:31:58.25
encouragement and so we
lift him up and we also ask in a
00:32:01.65\00:32:07.02
special way for Joy who is
joining us from the British
00:32:07.02\00:32:11.73
Virgin Islands and Valanda and
the Sun and Sam who asked for
00:32:11.73\00:32:18.50
special protection from the
enemy and you're stronger than
00:32:18.50\00:32:22.34
any enemy so we ask that you
will be a safe wall around him
00:32:22.34\00:32:27.41
and give him strength and help
him to look to you and so we
00:32:27.41\00:32:34.85
pray for all these people and
everyone who is watching right
00:32:34.85\00:32:38.25
now in Jesus' name, Amen.
00:32:38.25\00:32:40.06
I want to go back to the
gentleman who wrote in who lost
00:32:42.49\00:32:45.43
his wife and then his eyesight.
00:32:45.43\00:32:47.03
Let's talk for a moment about
dealing with other people who
00:32:47.03\00:32:52.10
have grief.
00:32:52.10\00:32:52.93
So this is kind of a two-sided
question I guess we could say.
00:32:53.90\00:32:57.31
First of all, if you're the one
grieving how do you reach out
00:32:57.61\00:33:00.64
to other people and find safe
people who can be a support?
00:33:00.64\00:33:03.81
And then on the flip side let's
talk about other people how we
00:33:04.11\00:33:08.92
can reach out and offer helpful
help to those who are grieving.
00:33:08.92\00:33:14.22
What are things that people
can do to help other people?
00:33:14.22\00:33:17.63
Yeah, good question.
00:33:18.56\00:33:19.29
I know there's a
lot in that, sorry.
00:33:20.13\00:33:21.63
So let's start
with the first one.
00:33:22.06\00:33:23.33
How do you reach out if
you're affected yourself?
00:33:24.17\00:33:27.37
You probably don't.
00:33:27.87\00:33:29.30
You just don't have the energy.
00:33:29.40\00:33:31.04
You don't have the
drive to reach out.
00:33:31.31\00:33:34.51
You don't know, is the
other person even available?
00:33:34.58\00:33:37.38
Do I have to
explain myself here?
00:33:38.18\00:33:39.91
Do I have to ask?
00:33:39.91\00:33:39.95
And when you're dealing with
a serious situation like that
00:33:41.15\00:33:44.82
many people don't think
about that and they offer well
00:33:46.19\00:33:52.03
-meaning they said, well, if
you need anything just give me
00:33:52.03\00:33:54.56
a call.
00:33:54.56\00:33:54.96
You will never receive the call
or most likely not receive the
00:33:56.00\00:33:59.17
call because no grieving person
has the energy just to pick up
00:33:59.17\00:34:02.90
the phone and to make the
call not knowing is the person
00:34:02.90\00:34:06.31
available?
00:34:06.31\00:34:06.84
Am I a nuisance right now?
00:34:06.94\00:34:08.61
Is this really
convenient for the person?
00:34:08.61\00:34:10.88
Do I have to explain myself now?
00:34:11.11\00:34:12.71
And all these things and you're
just struggling to survive.
00:34:13.01\00:34:18.05
You're just struggling to go
through the next hour and the
00:34:18.45\00:34:22.32
next day and that takes all
your energy, all your attention
00:34:22.32\00:34:26.29
and everything
that you can muster.
00:34:26.29\00:34:29.30
So to pick up the phone
and call someone is too much.
00:34:30.53\00:34:33.87
Sometimes it's too much.
00:34:34.40\00:34:35.50
That is amazing.
00:34:35.57\00:34:36.60
And then you don't have
that many people usually.
00:34:36.60\00:34:41.18
Usually you don't have that
many people who are your best
00:34:41.91\00:34:45.18
friends who are so close that
they understand you full well
00:34:45.18\00:34:50.15
even if you don't say a word.
00:34:50.15\00:34:51.95
Because there are many people
who want to help but then you
00:34:52.69\00:34:56.42
have to talk and then you have
to explain this and then you
00:34:56.42\00:34:59.23
have to explain the same
thing three times over to three
00:34:59.23\00:35:04.07
different people.
00:35:04.07\00:35:04.87
Do you know how
draining that is?
00:35:04.87\00:35:06.50
How much energy that takes?
00:35:06.60\00:35:08.60
And you're just not in a
position to have the energy and
00:35:09.30\00:35:12.84
the drive to do all that in
a situation where you struggle
00:35:12.84\00:35:17.35
for life.
00:35:17.35\00:35:22.65
So the grieving person probably
and not every person who
00:35:23.65\00:35:29.42
grieves is the same so this is
not a generalization but often
00:35:29.42\00:35:34.10
a grieving person is just
too overwhelmed to take the
00:35:34.10\00:35:38.37
initiative at all.
00:35:38.37\00:35:39.63
That's why you need people who
make the first initiative and
00:35:40.34\00:35:44.77
the contact and
who are with you there.
00:35:44.77\00:35:48.68
So it's good to be proactive.
00:35:49.34\00:35:50.91
If you have a friend
who's grieving we need to be
00:35:51.08\00:35:54.22
proactive.
00:35:54.22\00:35:54.92
Yes, you need to be proactive.
00:35:56.35\00:35:57.75
Okay.
00:35:58.65\00:36:05.89
Good.
00:36:05.96\00:36:06.66
Which is something
that many people don't do.
00:36:06.96\00:36:09.33
In order to be proactive
you need to actually think what
00:36:10.50\00:36:15.50
would be really helpful for
the person in that situation and
00:36:15.50\00:36:21.31
then don't just
ask for it, do it.
00:36:21.31\00:36:25.58
So for example that
would maybe look like what...
00:36:26.48\00:36:29.82
That would look like...
00:36:29.82\00:36:30.99
Let me give you an example.
00:36:30.99\00:36:32.59
Just an illustration.
00:36:32.95\00:36:34.76
If you are experiencing
the loss of a spouse let's say
00:36:37.03\00:36:42.40
that's a serious thing and it
really throws your entire life
00:36:43.97\00:36:48.67
completely through the
wind because this is what many
00:36:48.67\00:36:54.74
people don't
understand who think.
00:36:54.74\00:36:58.35
I've known the person who died
and I've been able to cope with
00:36:58.88\00:37:03.35
the loss somehow and arrange
myself with that situation.
00:37:03.35\00:37:07.12
It's painful.
00:37:07.26\00:37:07.86
But they don't understand that
a spouse is connected in unique
00:37:08.62\00:37:14.23
ways to that person.
00:37:14.23\00:37:16.53
You have developed
certain traditions.
00:37:17.00\00:37:18.80
You have
developed certain rituals.
00:37:18.93\00:37:20.60
You have developed certain
things that you share in common
00:37:20.80\00:37:23.91
that you don't share with
anybody else that shape your
00:37:23.91\00:37:27.18
daily routine, your daily work.
00:37:27.18\00:37:28.98
And all of a sudden this is no
longer and so you have to start
00:37:29.84\00:37:35.18
making decisions alone.
00:37:35.18\00:37:36.72
You have to
start completely over.
00:37:36.79\00:37:39.62
You have to relate to things
that you shared differently now
00:37:39.69\00:37:45.73
and it's a complete
turnover in your life.
00:37:46.46\00:37:49.46
So when you experience that,
let's say, you know, I'm not
00:37:50.30\00:37:58.01
confession time,
I'm not the expert cook.
00:37:58.01\00:38:05.38
So all of a sudden my
wife was a wonderful cook.
00:38:05.91\00:38:08.65
She would provide meals for us.
00:38:08.82\00:38:10.92
All of a sudden you are in
a situation where you have to
00:38:11.15\00:38:14.99
handle something, where
you have to learn to actually
00:38:14.99\00:38:18.06
provide a decent
meal, a warm meal every day.
00:38:18.06\00:38:23.30
Do you know how
much work that is?
00:38:23.93\00:38:25.10
Do you know how much planning
and preparation that takes?
00:38:25.17\00:38:28.90
And then be able to...
00:38:29.30\00:38:30.64
I really don't
because Jill does that, right?
00:38:30.64\00:38:33.01
And we don't appreciate
our spouses really as we should
00:38:33.48\00:38:37.21
because, you know, there is
a lot of logistical expertise
00:38:37.21\00:38:40.78
where you need to know where
to start, with what to start in
00:38:40.78\00:38:44.15
order to have at the end
everything ready and it's still
00:38:44.15\00:38:47.49
warm and hot.
00:38:47.49\00:38:47.99
And it's not burned.
00:38:47.99\00:38:48.56
And it's not burned, exactly.
00:38:48.82\00:38:50.33
And you had three boys too.
00:38:50.96\00:38:52.46
And I had three boys.
00:38:52.46\00:38:53.53
Yes, not just yourself.
00:38:53.53\00:38:54.56
So for me, for instance, one
important thing is that I read
00:38:55.23\00:39:01.64
somewhere that for children,
especially young children, it
00:39:01.64\00:39:06.41
is important to cope with a
grief and the loss of a parent
00:39:06.41\00:39:10.45
by providing as much continuity
in their daily routine as
00:39:10.45\00:39:14.88
possible so that their life
is not shaken and out of, you
00:39:14.88\00:39:18.22
know, balance, really.
00:39:18.22\00:39:20.36
It is out of balance, but to
keep it as much in balance as
00:39:20.52\00:39:25.06
possible.
00:39:25.06\00:39:29.43
is common family meals.
00:39:29.43\00:39:32.53
Oh, okay.
00:39:33.00\00:39:33.60
Everybody comes...
00:39:33.87\00:39:37.01
together, where you
start talking, you know.
00:39:37.01\00:39:39.54
If they come back from school,
you know, if I come back from
00:39:39.54\00:39:42.28
work, you know,
how are you doing?
00:39:42.28\00:39:44.55
Fine.
00:39:44.65\00:39:45.28
You don't know
anything, you know.
00:39:45.48\00:39:46.68
That's right.
00:39:46.68\00:39:50.49
you mention little details that
you would not hear otherwise.
00:39:50.49\00:39:53.29
And that meant that I
had to prepare a meal.
00:39:53.89\00:39:56.26
But if you work full-time, you
know, and you have maybe a two
00:39:56.49\00:40:01.76
-hour window between morning
and afternoon, responsibility,
00:40:01.76\00:40:06.00
and you have to prepare a hot
meal and a healthy meal on top
00:40:06.63\00:40:09.90
of that, and a
meal that tastes well.
00:40:09.90\00:40:12.97
It's not the same.
00:40:14.54\00:40:15.64
That's right.
00:40:16.38\00:40:16.85
It's not the same.
00:40:16.85\00:40:17.51
And so, you know,
that's a real challenge.
00:40:18.11\00:40:19.95
Yeah.
00:40:19.95\00:40:20.32
Wow.
00:40:20.52\00:40:22.52
Okay.
00:40:22.55\00:40:23.05
Good for you.
00:40:23.12\00:40:23.65
Good job.
00:40:23.95\00:40:24.89
I think I'm
with you on that too.
00:40:25.15\00:40:26.39
I haven't burned water either.
00:40:26.49\00:40:27.59
So here is, you know, here's
helpful help that I experienced
00:40:27.89\00:40:32.73
in that situation.
00:40:32.73\00:40:34.00
A person from my church came to
me, and she said, I heard that
00:40:34.73\00:40:39.93
you want to have
family time and eat together.
00:40:39.93\00:40:43.37
You know, the place where I
taught the school, they offered
00:40:43.54\00:40:47.54
that we could eat as a
family in the cafeteria.
00:40:47.54\00:40:50.55
A very generous offer.
00:40:50.68\00:40:51.81
That would have
been the easiest.
00:40:52.61\00:40:54.28
But I knew full well that
if I'm in the cafeteria as a
00:40:55.05\00:40:58.22
teacher...
00:40:58.22\00:40:58.55
Of course.
00:40:58.55\00:41:01.89
privacy and everything that you
would have on the family table.
00:41:01.89\00:41:05.79
That's right.
00:41:05.83\00:41:09.63
Tell me what are your three
most busiest day of the week in
00:41:09.73\00:41:14.87
terms of teaching load.
00:41:14.87\00:41:16.24
And I said, well, that's easy.
00:41:16.67\00:41:18.04
It's Monday,
Tuesday and Thursdays.
00:41:18.21\00:41:20.31
She says, well then, you don't
have to worry about those three
00:41:20.98\00:41:24.01
days.
00:41:24.01\00:41:24.51
I will organize
people in the church.
00:41:24.91\00:41:27.45
You don't have to
make a single phone call.
00:41:27.52\00:41:29.38
I will organize the
people in the church.
00:41:29.78\00:41:31.82
They will bring you a
hot meal and a dessert.
00:41:31.85\00:41:34.26
They leave it
at your front door.
00:41:34.26\00:41:36.46
You don't even
have to open the door.
00:41:37.23\00:41:38.96
You don't even have
to talk to the people.
00:41:39.09\00:41:40.70
So you don't have to say hello.
00:41:40.70\00:41:42.06
Sometimes you're just not
in the mood of even sharing
00:41:42.33\00:41:45.50
anything that they might
be a terrible day for you.
00:41:45.50\00:41:48.00
And then here comes the person.
00:41:48.54\00:41:49.67
You have to smile and you have
to say a little, and they want
00:41:49.80\00:41:52.01
to know a little bit something
and you don't want to be rude.
00:41:52.01\00:41:54.34
Of course.
00:41:54.68\00:41:57.48
You just pick it up.
00:41:57.55\00:41:58.48
You enjoy the meal.
00:41:58.48\00:41:59.65
Once you're done, the dirty
dishes, you just place in front
00:42:00.28\00:42:04.15
of the door.
00:42:04.15\00:42:04.65
They will pick it up.
00:42:04.72\00:42:05.69
You don't have to drive.
00:42:05.99\00:42:06.92
You don't have to worry.
00:42:07.02\00:42:07.96
And they did this for
the first three months.
00:42:08.99\00:42:11.29
That's beautiful.
00:42:11.63\00:42:12.53
The most terrible, terrible,
you know, three meals a day and
00:42:12.96\00:42:17.83
a week, you know,
and this is helpful help.
00:42:17.83\00:42:22.57
And I had a family who would
continue to do that for the
00:42:22.77\00:42:25.64
next two years.
00:42:25.64\00:42:26.54
One day in a week.
00:42:26.94\00:42:28.58
One day a week for two years.
00:42:29.24\00:42:30.51
One day in a week for two years.
00:42:30.91\00:42:32.38
Wow.
00:42:32.38\00:42:32.71
Now, that is a commitment.
00:42:33.01\00:42:34.72
Yes, it is.
00:42:34.85\00:42:35.35
That is really help.
00:42:35.35\00:42:36.32
You know, that really
helped us tremendously.
00:42:36.48\00:42:38.69
You know, if you've lost your
spouse, you know, and you have
00:42:39.49\00:42:43.79
to not just cook, you have
to clean the house, you have to
00:42:43.79\00:42:47.23
do, and you know, you're full
-time working at the same time,
00:42:47.23\00:42:50.40
you might need somebody
who helps you with the cleaning
00:42:50.60\00:42:53.70
process in the house or doing
the ironing or whatever needs
00:42:53.70\00:42:58.61
to be done, you know, and I had
another family and they said,
00:42:58.61\00:43:01.78
we'll pay for somebody who
comes by and we'll do that once
00:43:01.78\00:43:05.21
a week for you.
00:43:05.21\00:43:05.98
Now, here's the little
trick to the thing, you know.
00:43:07.52\00:43:11.35
It is one thing to offer help.
00:43:11.72\00:43:13.89
It's another thing
to offer helpful help.
00:43:15.76\00:43:17.99
For this, you need to think
what is really helpful in that
00:43:18.19\00:43:20.96
situation.
00:43:20.96\00:43:21.50
What can I do?
00:43:21.60\00:43:22.70
But then you also have
to learn to accept help.
00:43:23.13\00:43:25.53
And that's a learning
experience that is steep, I
00:43:26.53\00:43:29.24
tell you, because if you allow,
if you allow another person to
00:43:29.24\00:43:33.84
come into your house and see
the mess and see the untidiness
00:43:33.84\00:43:38.91
and the dirty laundry that
usually nobody will see, you
00:43:38.91\00:43:43.62
know, that's a part of
your privacy that usually not
00:43:43.62\00:43:48.42
everybody is
allowed to interact with.
00:43:48.42\00:43:51.06
You need to be able to allow
for that in order to receive
00:43:51.46\00:43:55.26
the blessing.
00:43:55.26\00:43:56.16
And if you're not ready for
that, you will not experience
00:43:56.50\00:44:00.90
the blessing as much
as you could, I guess.
00:44:00.90\00:44:03.71
So that is helpful help.
00:44:04.57\00:44:07.11
What about an
example of not helpful help?
00:44:08.14\00:44:11.51
Because I'll just, you
know, for me, when I know that
00:44:11.95\00:44:15.95
someone's going through grief,
you know, maybe lost something,
00:44:15.95\00:44:18.55
I sometimes feel a
little bit awkward.
00:44:18.95\00:44:20.52
I don't really know what to say.
00:44:20.66\00:44:22.42
And so then I
don't interact at all.
00:44:22.69\00:44:24.59
I'm just like, hey,
Dr. Frank, see you later.
00:44:24.63\00:44:26.96
Or just, you
know, oh, there he is.
00:44:26.96\00:44:28.73
Or so somebody wants to
be helpful, but I know then I
00:44:29.00\00:44:31.93
think I'm afraid of saying
the wrong things and I won't say
00:44:31.93\00:44:35.00
anything.
00:44:35.00\00:44:38.51
Maybe that's a better question.
00:44:38.64\00:44:42.21
for everyone.
00:44:42.21\00:44:42.81
We don't feel bad about it.
00:44:42.88\00:44:44.78
We all struggle with the same
things, even I, even now, even
00:44:44.81\00:44:49.82
after my experience.
00:44:49.82\00:44:50.85
Sometimes I'm tempted to do
things or not to do things that
00:44:51.02\00:44:54.29
I should do, you know.
00:44:54.29\00:44:55.46
So this is something that we
just need to be aware of and be
00:44:55.46\00:44:59.66
willing to learn
and be transformed.
00:44:59.66\00:45:01.63
So in my book, I have listed
a few things of not-so-helpful
00:45:02.13\00:45:08.04
help.
00:45:08.04\00:45:08.40
It usually has to do with the
things that you say, rather the
00:45:09.60\00:45:14.04
things that you do.
00:45:14.04\00:45:15.21
What pages are you in?
00:45:15.21\00:45:16.41
I'm talking about page 91.
00:45:16.41\00:45:18.38
91, I see.
00:45:18.71\00:45:19.48
And we do have this
book available at the Colson.
00:45:19.71\00:45:21.78
I'm just telling you tonight,
we have 100 copies of these
00:45:21.78\00:45:24.59
coming to the Call Center.
00:45:24.59\00:45:25.62
And guess what?
00:45:26.02\00:45:26.65
You can order them from 3ABN.
00:45:26.72\00:45:28.29
So we'll be talking about
more prayer requests and prayers
00:45:28.59\00:45:30.89
reports and comments.
00:45:30.89\00:45:32.49
They are flooding,
so keep them coming.
00:45:32.69\00:45:34.13
Number 618-627-4651 for
those comments and questions.
00:45:34.46\00:45:38.83
But you can also order the book.
00:45:38.93\00:45:40.14
It's a
suggested donation of $19.
00:45:40.20\00:45:42.27
I'm going to say this,
Dr. Frank, this comes from
00:45:42.87\00:45:45.21
anonymous.
00:45:45.21\00:45:45.61
Her husband was
diagnosed with cancer.
00:45:46.11\00:45:47.68
Please pray for her and her
family as they're navigating
00:45:47.88\00:45:49.84
this.
00:45:49.84\00:45:54.75
highly recommends
this book to everyone.
00:45:54.75\00:45:57.55
It's anonymous, but
they're going through a terrible
00:45:57.79\00:46:00.36
grieving process right now, and
she has this book already and
00:46:00.36\00:46:03.43
says it's a must read.
00:46:03.43\00:46:04.63
So we have 100 of them first
come first serve at the Call
00:46:05.03\00:46:07.60
Center.
00:46:07.60\00:46:07.96
So anyway, you said page 91.
00:46:08.23\00:46:09.70
For instance, yeah.
00:46:10.17\00:46:11.23
Yes, not for instance.
00:46:11.57\00:46:19.54
approach us like that.
00:46:19.54\00:46:20.94
They mean well.
00:46:21.51\00:46:22.68
That's right.
00:46:22.81\00:46:23.45
Correct.
00:46:23.68\00:46:23.95
Keep that in mind.
00:46:24.18\00:46:25.25
You know, they're not saying
things because they are mean or
00:46:25.38\00:46:28.98
they want to harm us or want to
make it more difficult, because
00:46:28.98\00:46:33.02
if you see a person who
is suffering, you're affected
00:46:33.02\00:46:37.29
yourself.
00:46:37.29\00:46:37.89
Of course.
00:46:37.89\00:46:38.73
You want to help the
person to get over that.
00:46:38.89\00:46:41.20
That's right.
00:46:41.20\00:46:43.50
And so you want to say
something that you think might
00:46:43.63\00:46:48.70
make it easier for the person.
00:46:48.70\00:46:50.57
That's right.
00:46:50.67\00:46:54.68
yet what they say is
not so helpful after all.
00:46:54.68\00:46:59.25
At least it has not
been helpful for me.
00:46:59.25\00:46:59.28
And I've listed a few of
these things in the book.
00:47:01.65\00:47:04.92
For instance.
00:47:05.09\00:47:05.49
This is great.
00:47:05.49\00:47:06.22
Not so helpful is when the
person says, Now, this is what
00:47:08.16\00:47:11.23
you need to do.
00:47:11.23\00:47:12.33
How do you know?
00:47:13.19\00:47:14.46
How do you know my situation?
00:47:14.93\00:47:16.53
I don't.
00:47:16.53\00:47:16.56
Exactly.
00:47:17.10\00:47:17.87
You know, and
what needs to be done.
00:47:17.97\00:47:19.73
How do you know how
it is to lose your wife?
00:47:20.34\00:47:23.67
I don't.
00:47:23.67\00:47:24.51
You know.
00:47:24.64\00:47:25.41
So be careful to give good
advice, well-meaning advice.
00:47:25.81\00:47:31.78
Or, you know, people
would say to me, well, at least.
00:47:32.41\00:47:37.95
You know, at least you still
have your children, don't you?
00:47:37.95\00:47:41.09
Yeah.
00:47:41.82\00:47:42.32
Oh, yes.
00:47:42.99\00:47:43.49
I still do have my children.
00:47:43.66\00:47:45.83
Aren't you happy for that?
00:47:46.80\00:47:47.83
Yes.
00:47:48.03\00:47:55.57
not made easier.
00:47:55.57\00:47:56.34
Correct.
00:47:56.74\00:47:57.24
It's tough.
00:47:57.34\00:47:57.94
It's more difficult.
00:47:58.24\00:47:59.54
And so often people
would say, at least.
00:48:00.71\00:48:03.38
And whenever you say, at least,
think twice and keep your mouth
00:48:03.75\00:48:07.92
shut.
00:48:07.92\00:48:08.35
That's good advice.
00:48:09.42\00:48:10.15
That's good advice.
00:48:10.29\00:48:15.42
of that person.
00:48:15.42\00:48:16.26
Right.
00:48:16.26\00:48:16.79
And you have barely an
idea what the person is going
00:48:17.56\00:48:21.26
through.
00:48:21.26\00:48:21.76
And when you say, at least,
you know, there's even a subtle
00:48:23.20\00:48:27.10
message that sometimes
comes along with that, at least.
00:48:27.10\00:48:30.67
And that is, be grateful
for something, you know.
00:48:30.67\00:48:34.54
And you just don't feel
grateful in that moment at all.
00:48:35.64\00:48:38.81
Or sometimes people would say,
you know, everything happens
00:48:40.72\00:48:43.69
for a reason.
00:48:43.69\00:48:44.75
Yeah.
00:48:44.99\00:48:45.92
And maybe, you know, they would
say maybe God allowed your wife
00:48:46.25\00:48:51.79
to die so that you can be
more, you know, deal with other
00:48:51.79\00:48:57.63
people who are losing somebody,
who have lost a spouse or
00:48:57.63\00:49:02.54
somebody.
00:49:02.54\00:49:02.90
And that is not helpful at all.
00:49:04.84\00:49:07.71
It's not.
00:49:07.74\00:49:11.25
compassionate and more
sensitive to things a thousand
00:49:11.25\00:49:14.98
different ways, I'm sure.
00:49:14.98\00:49:16.72
But He didn't need to do that.
00:49:16.89\00:49:19.02
And we often do this for a
wrong reason, because there are
00:49:19.42\00:49:25.19
things in life that are
difficult to understand and
00:49:25.19\00:49:29.96
more difficult even to explain,
and for which we do not have a
00:49:29.96\00:49:34.64
good explanation this side
of heaven, because we don't know
00:49:34.64\00:49:37.81
everything.
00:49:37.81\00:49:38.27
So we don't know why she died.
00:49:39.27\00:49:42.01
I still don't have a
full explanation for that.
00:49:42.81\00:49:45.85
And we have to live
with open questions.
00:49:46.45\00:49:48.88
We have to learn to live with
open questions where we don't
00:49:49.02\00:49:51.85
have the answer.
00:49:51.85\00:49:55.76
challenge to live
with open questions.
00:49:55.76\00:49:57.76
So we want to find a
reason that explains the
00:49:57.79\00:50:01.20
unexplainable.
00:50:01.20\00:50:01.46
That's right.
00:50:01.86\00:50:02.56
Oh, you know, she had this
because of, and then they come
00:50:03.50\00:50:08.97
up with all kinds of
explanations that will make
00:50:08.97\00:50:11.94
sense in their mind as a
possible reason why this had to
00:50:11.94\00:50:16.28
happen or happened at all.
00:50:16.28\00:50:18.58
And I think we need to be very
careful in coming up with these
00:50:18.58\00:50:25.02
self -created explanations
just in order for us to have a
00:50:25.02\00:50:29.76
reason why this happened
or should have happened or not
00:50:29.76\00:50:33.43
happened at all.
00:50:33.43\00:50:34.36
That's great advice.
00:50:35.50\00:50:41.10
have a good reason for that,
and you don't need to have.
00:50:41.10\00:50:44.41
The other person doesn't expect
that you have an answer to all
00:50:44.81\00:50:47.78
these questions.
00:50:47.78\00:50:48.68
The other person, what really
helps is when the other person
00:50:49.04\00:50:52.38
can say, well, you just sit
with me, and you just cry with
00:50:52.38\00:50:55.88
me, and you just be there
without talking, you know?
00:50:55.88\00:50:59.62
Without saying anything.
00:50:59.62\00:51:00.69
Without saying anything.
00:51:00.72\00:51:01.89
Isn't that so
against, like, human?
00:51:02.02\00:51:03.63
It's like we want to come in
there and just like talk, you
00:51:03.83\00:51:05.19
know, just talk and counsel
and whatever, but just sit there
00:51:05.19\00:51:07.50
with me.
00:51:07.50\00:51:07.96
Cry with me.
00:51:08.40\00:51:09.53
And I know your favorite
topping on your pizza, so I'll
00:51:09.53\00:51:12.30
order that for you tomorrow.
00:51:12.30\00:51:13.30
You don't have to
worry about tomorrow.
00:51:13.30\00:51:13.34
That's beautiful.
00:51:14.77\00:51:18.84
just bring a little
flower that brightens the day.
00:51:18.84\00:51:21.91
You just write a handwritten
note of encouragement.
00:51:22.08\00:51:24.38
Do you know how a huge
difference a little word of
00:51:24.91\00:51:28.45
encouragement can
make and go along?
00:51:28.45\00:51:30.89
And so that's not hard.
00:51:30.92\00:51:31.75
Just come and sit.
00:51:32.12\00:51:32.89
Just come and sit with somebody.
00:51:32.92\00:51:33.96
Yes, yes.
00:51:34.16\00:51:34.89
Wow.
00:51:34.96\00:51:36.52
I love that.
00:51:36.66\00:51:37.69
We're getting requests and a
prayer request, so let's do a
00:51:38.16\00:51:42.46
few.
00:51:42.46\00:51:44.10
Okay.
00:51:44.10\00:51:47.84
express appreciation to
Dr. Housel for writing Love Is.
00:51:47.84\00:51:52.21
She lost her
husband last November.
00:51:52.67\00:51:54.68
Oh, wow.
00:51:54.78\00:51:59.68
Amen.
00:51:59.75\00:52:03.15
your book ministered.
00:52:03.15\00:52:05.29
Amen.
00:52:05.29\00:52:05.69
This one, I, this one's
really heartbreaking, anonymous.
00:52:07.29\00:52:12.09
Pray for my youngest son
to be released from an ungodly
00:52:12.09\00:52:16.53
relationship, and pray
for my daughter-in-law who's
00:52:16.53\00:52:21.37
experiencing widowhood and
now single parenthood with a
00:52:21.37\00:52:25.17
newborn due to the unexpected
death of her husband, which is
00:52:25.17\00:52:30.15
my oldest son.
00:52:30.15\00:52:31.48
So this lady lost her
son, and then her other son is
00:52:32.31\00:52:36.52
experiencing some difficulties,
and then the young woman who's
00:52:36.52\00:52:39.82
facing widowhood with a newborn.
00:52:39.82\00:52:42.09
Yeah, wow.
00:52:42.42\00:52:42.96
That's heavy.
00:52:43.49\00:52:44.09
Robert from Utah.
00:52:45.29\00:52:46.39
Prayer for his brother-in-law.
00:52:46.63\00:52:48.43
This one's anonymous.
00:52:48.73\00:52:49.70
His wife passed
away a week ago Friday.
00:52:50.33\00:52:52.70
Married 59 years.
00:52:53.30\00:52:54.37
That's a long time.
00:52:54.54\00:52:55.60
That's a lifetime.
00:52:55.80\00:52:56.54
This is Peggy from Alabama.
00:52:58.21\00:53:00.81
Would like prayer for guidance
for herself, her son, her
00:53:01.01\00:53:05.61
daughter, and her grandson,
Jeremiah, who are all going
00:53:05.61\00:53:09.78
through very
difficult trials right now.
00:53:09.78\00:53:12.39
Okay, Peggy.
00:53:12.39\00:53:13.29
And this comes from Trinidad.
00:53:13.82\00:53:15.12
Yeah, from Trinidad.
00:53:15.79\00:53:16.69
Would like prayer for her
daughter, Delicia, to find
00:53:17.26\00:53:20.86
employment.
00:53:20.86\00:53:26.13
job and lost
work, it sounds like.
00:53:26.13\00:53:30.04
This is Carolyn.
00:53:30.27\00:53:31.74
Have neuropathy in my feet,
making it very difficult to
00:53:32.47\00:53:36.28
walk.
00:53:36.28\00:53:36.54
Yeah, that's health.
00:53:36.81\00:53:37.61
That's a big deal.
00:53:37.61\00:53:38.75
Asking for prayers for healing.
00:53:39.65\00:53:40.85
Also have myalgia and
need healing for that as well.
00:53:41.42\00:53:45.22
Those are some very challenging
health aspects there.
00:53:45.59\00:53:51.79
This is from Indiana.
00:53:51.89\00:53:53.09
Cathy, I pray for all my
children to come back to God.
00:53:53.73\00:53:55.80
I pray for my cousin, Agnes,
that she also has understanding
00:53:56.50\00:54:00.37
and would like
prayer for me to find a job.
00:54:00.37\00:54:02.70
Wow, a lot of people that work.
00:54:02.87\00:54:04.64
And this is
another one from Indiana.
00:54:04.71\00:54:06.27
Patty from Indiana.
00:54:06.27\00:54:07.91
I lost my husband to frontal
temporal dementia two years
00:54:08.11\00:54:13.72
ago.
00:54:13.72\00:54:14.18
And so, wow, a lot.
00:54:15.05\00:54:18.32
This is Anne.
00:54:18.95\00:54:19.65
I'm losing my spouse who is
in a care facility and he always
00:54:20.39\00:54:23.83
held my hand when we prayed.
00:54:23.83\00:54:25.43
I appreciate that Greg held
Jill's hand during prayer this
00:54:25.83\00:54:29.03
evening.
00:54:29.03\00:54:29.06
What a blessing.
00:54:29.66\00:54:30.80
That's true, never
want to take it for granted.
00:54:30.93\00:54:32.43
Faith.
00:54:33.47\00:54:34.24
Pray for my three children that
they'll have a desire to join
00:54:34.70\00:54:38.77
the ranks of young people
who finish the work before Jesus
00:54:38.77\00:54:41.68
returns.
00:54:41.68\00:54:42.41
That's from...
00:54:42.61\00:54:43.91
Faith Anne.
00:54:43.91\00:54:44.61
Faith Anne, okay, yep.
00:54:44.61\00:54:45.68
I said that.
00:54:45.71\00:54:49.65
local area for growing outreach
and he's having biopsies,
00:54:49.65\00:54:53.79
checking for cancer.
00:54:53.92\00:54:54.89
And they're reaching
out from the reservation.
00:54:55.26\00:54:56.69
That's incredible.
00:54:57.06\00:54:57.86
I'm not sure where that Indian
reservation is, but one of the
00:54:58.33\00:55:00.90
reservations here.
00:55:00.90\00:55:01.83
Yeah, a lot of hurting people.
00:55:02.50\00:55:05.43
Why don't you
pray for them, babe?
00:55:06.67\00:55:07.44
Sure.
00:55:07.44\00:55:07.47
Okay, please.
00:55:08.00\00:55:09.07
Holy Father, we come before you
in the name of Jesus, grateful
00:55:10.07\00:55:13.68
that you're our Father and
that you are love, that you are
00:55:13.68\00:55:18.41
good, that we can come to you
in our times of grief, in our
00:55:18.41\00:55:22.75
times of fear.
00:55:22.75\00:55:23.75
We come to you in our
times of worry or uncertainty.
00:55:24.22\00:55:27.69
We come to you when we
don't know where else to go.
00:55:28.99\00:55:32.89
Thank you that you hear us.
00:55:33.43\00:55:35.23
Thank you that you are
a God who can do anything.
00:55:35.30\00:55:38.73
Thank you that you
are a God who loves us.
00:55:39.40\00:55:42.24
And so Lord, I'm just asking,
you know our brothers and
00:55:42.37\00:55:45.34
sisters who wrote in,
called in these requests.
00:55:45.34\00:55:48.84
You know where they live across
the country and around the
00:55:49.18\00:55:52.01
world.
00:55:52.01\00:55:58.69
Lord, would you fulfill those?
00:55:58.69\00:56:01.62
Lord, would you
walk beside them?
00:56:01.89\00:56:04.39
Lord, would you give grace,
your grace, make it sufficient
00:56:04.83\00:56:09.36
in their time of weakness?
00:56:09.36\00:56:10.97
Would your peace that passes
all understanding be with them?
00:56:11.53\00:56:15.27
Would you bring in comfort?
00:56:15.60\00:56:17.37
Would you bring in
healing where it's needed?
00:56:18.34\00:56:20.61
And Lord, would you help us,
each one of us, as we've been
00:56:21.11\00:56:23.78
hearing about helpful help
and how to step in, sit and let
00:56:23.78\00:56:28.38
someone else cry or be there
with them or help in physical,
00:56:28.38\00:56:33.86
tangible ways.
00:56:34.22\00:56:35.32
Lord, give us wisdom and
ideas how to reach out to those
00:56:35.69\00:56:40.03
around us and to
offer that helpful help.
00:56:40.03\00:56:43.30
We thank you in the
precious and holy name of Jesus.
00:56:43.47\00:56:47.90
Amen.
00:56:48.47\00:56:48.67
Amen.
00:56:49.17\00:56:49.60
Well, the first hour
has gone by in a hurry.
00:56:50.57\00:56:52.17
I just want to mention, I'll
let you close this out quickly,
00:56:52.54\00:56:54.28
but I want to just mention also
that, I'm thinking the second
00:56:54.28\00:56:57.15
hour as we actually talk about
how do we deal with grief and
00:56:57.15\00:57:00.82
process that, even talking
about biblical lamenting,
00:57:00.82\00:57:03.39
because sometimes when we
grieve, I've heard some people
00:57:04.19\00:57:06.42
say, you shouldn't be grieving,
you should be joyful in the
00:57:06.42\00:57:08.76
Lord.
00:57:08.76\00:57:12.36
so powerful, we'll be talking
about that the second hour, but
00:57:12.36\00:57:14.40
hey, this is what I want
to reach out to you about and
00:57:14.40\00:57:16.53
reach back out to us.
00:57:16.53\00:57:17.50
Tell us a Bible scripture that
has carried you through those
00:57:18.07\00:57:20.57
difficult times in your life.
00:57:20.57\00:57:21.87
So send those into us as well,
along with your prayer requests
00:57:22.14\00:57:24.37
and other comments, but a
scripture, maybe a favorite
00:57:24.37\00:57:27.11
verse that has strengthened you
in your walk as you go through
00:57:27.11\00:57:30.31
trials in this life.
00:57:30.31\00:57:31.28
Amen.
00:57:32.01\00:57:35.22
favorites, Jesus
speaking to the paralytic.
00:57:35.22\00:57:37.29
Do you want to be made well?
00:57:37.79\00:57:39.79
I think this is
emotional and spiritual healing.
00:57:40.12\00:57:43.02
It's everything.
00:57:43.02\00:57:43.66
We will be back in two minutes.
00:57:43.93\00:57:45.73