Participants:
Series Code: TDYL
Program Code: TDYL240025B
|
00:00 [MUSIC]
00:04 [MUSIC] 00:09 >> Hello. Welcome back to the second. Now, if you're the 00:12 first now it felt like 10 minutes. Yeah, one so far and 00:15 because we have surely Peters in the house. So good to have 00:17 you here. Shiri. Thank, you know, and if you just joining 00:20 us, we're talking about the other side of trauma. The other 00:24 side of the brain life is celebrating the other side of 00:28 all that you have gone through. If you missed the first hour 00:31 and then I would encourage a maybe a few hours from now, 00:33 watch the repeat and then get it again on Sunday and then on 00:37 Tuesday. But Sherry just walked us through a valley. I mean, 00:41 you know, if you look at the 23rd Psalms, 00:43 >> your life will be the valley of the shadow of death. But let 00:46 me and that surely goodness and morning, OK, I'm glad that I'm 00:53 right that every day in my journal, yeah, surely goodness 00:55 and mercy will follow me all the days and I would do well in 00:59 the house of the Lord Forever. It Man, it's a powerful thing. 01:02 When I got to say one thing that you and it did for me. 01:05 So got open the door for ministry. 01:08 >> I've rescued been part of a team that rescued kids in 01:12 Thailand from the sex trade industry in Kenya from been 01:15 given clinic to muse and sold into marriage. And people have 01:18 felt like their life was over and they had no chance of 01:21 stepping in to their own life in their own skin and got is 01:25 just in Russia with heroin addict. I mean, we have been 01:28 all over the world with dealing with different traumas, but my 01:32 dad died when I was here at 3ABN one year. And I remember 01:37 not I had ended that relationship because I mean, 01:40 I've been molested by him since I was 3 months old. And and 01:45 that trauma was so amazing to me when I got pregnant myself 01:49 and had a little girl, I just thought I can never hand this 01:52 little girl over to and because he had not ever even told me, 01:56 you just said, yeah, I never said any of that. So I just 01:59 ended that relationship. And when I was here and I heard 02:02 that my dad had died, I just didn't know how did I didn't 02:06 know how to breathe, like I didn't know how to do do 02:09 anything. I didn't at first I was afraid that I wouldn't feel 02:12 anything. And then I couldn't stop crying. And and then 02:15 pretty soon. And I'm thinking who is that all? And pretty 02:20 soon, I hear that again. And who is that? And and and I 02:23 hear you say, John, 02:26 I'm sure you in 02:28 and I thought, yeah, but I'm not answering the door. That 02:30 means that. I want to talk to anybody. Haha, I remember just 02:33 thinking that I I I'm not I can't open the door. Yeah. 02:37 And you that you guys can go way, knock, knock, knock, 02:41 knock, knock. And then Andy, I heard and I thought I cannot I 02:45 don't I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how to 02:47 breed. And I don't know how to say goodbye to a dream that I 02:51 hope someday he would have said I'm sorry and someday we would 02:55 have been reconciled and someday and I thought I just 02:58 don't know what to do in this moment. And then pretty soon it 03:02 was clear that you're not going away. And I opened the door and 03:05 you shared by your story and your dad and and how you felt 03:09 when he passed. And I remember just feeling so connected like 03:13 I'm not alone in dealing with something like this. There are 03:17 people friends that I know that I love and you that have 03:23 experienced similar things. And I remember just being blast 03:26 and nurture. And so I want to say that that even funding 03:30 crisis, it's not the trauma end, but people will show up 03:35 and god will show up. And and you get to even the hardest of 03:39 times with he could read it. I mean, 03:42 >> the Mara police sent us to you at that moment because that 03:45 was my journey, meaning my dad at 13, 03:48 knowing him for 03:50 31 years was so at that time when he passed and the same 03:55 thing happened when he died, I didn't I never shed a tear or 03:57 even to this very day. Yeah, it was always. I was always hoping 04:00 that the story would be different and that was 04:02 different. So, you know, on that the one thing that came 04:06 encourage monogamy of access and I was set up Heineman, 04:09 Marlins haven't. And I'm just sitting there kind of going 04:11 through my emotions. And 04:13 and Dwight Nelson passed Detroit Nelson 04:17 Newitt Kenny said to me something, yeah. He was 04:21 preaching to his people had I told my testimony earlier. 04:24 Yeah, let's have a school like an early morning service and 04:27 you heard it. 04:28 Any point to me said, I want to tell you 04:31 if there's any way that the dog can save your father, he would 04:33 do it. So a lot about it. 04:36 And I remember that. So God sent me at that moment to that. 04:40 You know, my sister also she was she passed away, passed 04:44 away just not too long ago. So these these traumatic 04:47 moments in lives in our life is to help us understand the part 04:51 of God. I would say to people, you know, we we know that Jesus 04:54 about the 1, 2, month. 21, he'll say this people image on 04:58 what went on the lamb of God to take away this overall. 05:01 But to many of us don't know the Jesus of Isaiah 61 to mend 05:04 the broken hearted. I'm and set those who are bound. We are 05:08 free to claim that year of liberty to give beauty for 05:12 ashes. The thought of joy in place of the spirit of 05:16 mourning, the garment up race instead of the spirit of having 05:18 a sense that we don't know that caused so many of us don't talk 05:21 about that God. So that's why I'm committed in our church. 05:25 And I was a night every Wednesday urges people to 05:28 attack, you know, the doctrinal cod. 05:31 >> We don't know the cause, but even that I remember just 05:34 coming to God during that time and just saying why? 05:39 Why didn't you stop him? 05:41 >> I mean, if you are God, like what was up with that move with 05:44 them to do some real quick, just 5 us and all the singers. 05:47 I forgot to tell you that you have to open. If you have it, 05:51 watch the program first and then allow them to watch it 05:56 later. Just a little disclaimer. Yes. 05:59 >> So it's like, what can you do something? Why didn't you do 06:02 something? I was 3 months old when my grandmother one time 06:07 kind of just said to me that I'm like she caught my dad or 06:12 something, you know, is how I got a sense that the left 06:15 happened very, very early. Like I have no memories times 06:19 about 3 years old, but it happened very early. And so 06:22 I've got like, why didn't you do something? And I remember 06:24 through the Holy Spirit, God saying I tried to get your dad 06:29 to make other choices every single day, 06:31 every single day. And the only way I could have stopped it was 06:36 to kill him. 06:37 And if I killed everybody who send bite, there would not be a 06:41 person around. So we have free choice. So when people harm 06:44 each other when we harm each other, when we harm our 06:47 children, it's not the God is not Santa off as parents as 06:52 grandparents as 06:54 anybody is just please be kind. Please do with your own trauma 06:59 in your own stuff so that you're not injuring the people 07:01 around you. And he tried that with my dad and my dad was not 07:05 responsive. And I and and as children, we paid the price of 07:08 that. But I I don't think that that was the first time I 07:12 realized that this was not God's fault. The only in the 07:15 some party here in this story is God. That's right. 07:20 >> We're going to talk about something now that I am 07:23 that is is is something you've learned. And I want our 07:27 audience to just got one word 07:30 boundary calls boundary. That's important foundries 07:34 because some of you might be where she really was. Maybe you 07:39 there now and these questions, a phenomenal allow just one. 07:44 >> But you start out with this 100st. Let me look for somebody 07:47 just say what I've found is important. Yeah, but for some 07:50 who say that, 07:52 >> I came out of times, they came out of addiction. I threw 07:55 myself completely into ministry. And then to learning 07:59 about who got is and loving every moment of that loving 08:03 every single time. I got to go through the Bible every single 08:05 time. I got to hear somebody give us unlike you, John and in 08:09 your music helps to. But every single time that I got to hear 08:13 the word of God from other people, the first camp meeting 08:15 I went was like Doug Bachelor. And then, you know, Kenneth 08:18 Cox, you know, all those just incredible men and women, 08:22 Shelly is just showing plan is just amazing to from latest 08:26 book Hot list. Spotless is that all of that kind of stuff is 08:32 just amazing to me. But then now while I am slowing down 08:36 insane at looking at the trauma aspect of it and just 08:39 wondering, like, I don't even know like I I got hit with 08:44 something really hard. It was harder than anything I had 08:48 dealt with in my past and my 08:50 the first part of my life. So that just hinting at how 08:53 difficult that was the case. And a friend of mine said you 08:56 need to go to a recovery group. You need to get support around 09:00 you. And I said, but I'm not doing drugs. No recovery from 09:05 codependency recovery from the belief systems that you've held 09:09 through your trauma. And I'm like, what are you talking 09:12 about? And I knew somewhat of what they were talking because 09:15 I did psych nursing for 15 years, impatient and stuff. 09:18 But we're pretty ignorant in that realm of what happens to 09:22 us. 09:23 No chemically and what happens to our DNA and that that 09:27 genetics and all that kind of stuff. But so I step into this 09:30 recovery group, the step study and it break denial about my 09:35 co-dependency in my co-dependency. My daughter said 09:38 to me one time you are a liar and I thought of that's one 09:43 thing. I'm not, you know, like and knowing I am not. And she 09:47 said you never honestly show up. You never honestly say what 09:51 you feel. You never come in. And if I say something new will 09:55 appease me, you will make me feel better. But you also had 09:59 disagree with all right. You are just very careful. 10:03 And in that you've lied every day of my life. And I remember 10:08 taking that to God and saying, God, I can you believe she said 10:11 that he's like, well, you know, and so when we show up and 10:17 we're not setting boundaries and we're not even see, I'm 10:20 showing up and being honest with what we feel in who we are 10:24 and all of that kind of stuff that we are so damaging 10:27 ourselves further. I tried going into trauma further and 10:31 we're not showing up. So there's nothing tangible for 10:34 someone to hold on to. And so when I started to go through 10:37 that, I just wept and wept and wept. And I said, am I a liar 10:44 and God, can you heal me? And he absolutely said, yes. 10:49 I mean, he is he the same response is, look, can I show 10:52 you who I see when I look at you as I see a woman of God. 10:56 And this is just part of the journey interest me in this 10:59 part of the journey. And so I remember going into the program 11:02 and going through the powerlessness got is the only 11:05 one that can be stormy to sanity going through with what 11:08 do I surrender to so that I can I can allow you to do that. 11:13 And and and then making amends. And so I had to make amends to 11:17 my daughter for lying to her her whole life, 11:21 to making it making everyone else feel good, but never 11:24 showing up as her mom never showing up as myself. So when I 11:28 talk about boundaries and when I talk about the gift that we 11:32 give to each other and recovery it, you can't put up price on 11:36 that. Same himself knows that if you step out of your trauma 11:40 and step into your own skin and got eclipse that person, 11:44 you can change the world. But if you don't do that, 11:46 you would injure everybody around too. 11:48 >> Sherry, Wow, I mean, you know, honey, on my talk a 11:52 little volcano, right? Yeah, I can't take that. Take the cap 11:57 off this. So vitally important. I try to communicate to people 12:00 this in my life knows this guy. We've been on personal journey 12:03 to has been just minimal his size and strength to the 12:06 marriage ministry. My and I walk with each other and we've 12:11 told couples if you can appeal to Lee, deadly honest with each 12:14 other, it's you know, there is still days when we have that 12:17 hiccup, like I want to hear that that's his humanity. 12:20 But if you cannot give the other person's delivery to be 12:23 open and honest and deadly honest with you and you, 12:26 you, you hear what they're saying. 12:29 How many times have you tell me? I'm not listening to you. 12:31 And I and I want to she told me that in the garage, she said 12:35 you're not listening in 12:37 and I put the groceries down on the garage flock and stay for 12:40 45 minutes. Say that said, talk to me. Yeah. They must mean the 12:44 caucus talked not Lee. She said the cross that I don't care 12:47 about the dress is not just when he came. And that was a 12:50 turning point in all America. To just talk to me. A lot of 12:53 couples watching the program. 12:56 I don't know how to do that. They were they fail to realize 12:59 that, you know, storms do one thing for you 13:02 and not just pretty quickly get back to them. The worst 13:04 rainstorm we have had on our way to Miami. 13:07 That's the cleanest free car wash. We have. Yeah. Got put 13:10 you in storms to clean you up. Yeah. And he allows those 13:13 storms and then you realize why boundaries, unnecessary long 13:17 lead into this with a very important question. 13:19 >> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait on the list goes on. 13:21 No, no, wait. Because that what you open on me is the analogy 13:26 that God gave me was kind of a storm analogy. It said that 13:29 literally when I step into my recovery and when I stop doing 13:33 whatever it is, religious addictions, drugs, alcohol, 13:36 gambling, whatever the addiction is, that made me feel 13:40 better at the moment when I step out of that porn 13:44 addictions, that kind of thing when I step out of that is that 13:47 now I'm ready to step into my life. But it's as if a tornado 13:51 just went through and everything is destroyed in. 13:54 So it looks overwhelming. I mean, overwhelming. Like, 13:58 where do I even start? My the house is destroyed. The whole 14:01 neighborhood is destroyed. All of that kind of stuff and 14:04 got to start out with just sorting out. Mike, what do you 14:07 get? Is there anything salvageable? Is there anything 14:09 that you can to keep? Is there anything that you need? And 14:12 then once you clean that up and that takes a while, then you 14:15 can get some skilled craftsman that will literally start doing 14:19 foundation working and putting the wall's backup. There's a 14:22 scene in them are a group out in New Zealand that says it. 14:27 You know, there's all the sides of the House matter like that. 14:30 You can't just do one side and expect the whole thing to 14:33 censor the the clearing that whole thing out is literally 14:36 restoration. What does that mean and who is going to be 14:39 gathered around you to help you put the building back together 14:43 and then are you going to put the building back together 14:45 exactly the same now now, because why would you when God 14:54 says restoration, he's saying that that we think that when we 15:00 work with somebody that we're going to work with them and 15:02 just clean him up, we're going to stop their drink, you know, 15:04 whatever in God. So if you stop their shame on you, shame on 15:09 you because this person, this man, a woman of God, has no 15:13 idea the value. There's a song that says when the slave awakes 15:16 to the value of their own soul, that's what God is trying to do 15:20 is like not just clean this up. He knows that we have held on 15:24 to whatever he's got us to survive the day and it was a 15:28 lie from the enemy himself and never helped us survive 15:30 anything in the sun. Now, let me help you with a full 15:33 restoration of all of that. And that's where I got into the 15:37 whole thing about stepping into what is trauma work look like? 15:42 What is grief work? Look like what happened to my my body and 15:45 my mind and maybe even my DNA be because of all this trauma. 15:50 And he's got bigger than that. 15:52 >> OK, so now the boundaries had to be put in place because 15:55 you know what? In rebuilding a new house boundaries to that 16:00 within the height and depth of the lost everything, his 16:02 boundaries, 16:03 the house is not a house unless all the boundaries, not 16:07 complete. So that's that's one of these questions here. 16:09 >> Honey, I love you. Love you. Ask for that first, OK, 16:13 alright, this is about boundaries. Because sometimes 16:15 you feel like your life is out of control. How am I going to 16:18 handle this year? So what happens when you feel like you 16:20 have to say yes to everyone's requests and what's really have 16:25 to go through that? So, yeah, what's really interesting about 16:27 feeling like you have to say yes to every request is for me. 16:30 I was so desperate to be liked that I thought saying yes, 16:35 would act Lee cause those relationships to be powerful in 16:40 our connections to be from a powerful. But it just made me 16:44 look like a liar, even my child, so that in. So so if if 16:48 I have to say to myself, somebody asked me something. 16:51 And I have to say to myself, I want to do that, 16:56 but I don't die. And then and to have that money or don't 17:00 tire or do I have that time or don't I and I honestly say no 17:04 with somebody like 17:06 me and my history, it can throw me into what's called emotional 17:10 dysregulation. I can dysregulated I can start to 17:13 spend. I can literally tell myself if you say no, they're 17:17 not going to like you. And and when you talk about this 17:19 regulation, a lot of people think that that's an emotional 17:22 response to sending the boundary. It is not it's a 17:25 neurological response. It's far bigger than our emotional 17:29 response. And our spin actually has all kinds of chemicals 17:34 around it. So we ocean respond. If you tested mice alive at 17:37 that moment, you would find all kinds of cortisol. You would 17:40 find all kinds of stuff that is not healthy to me. On any 17:43 level. If you take my blood pressure, if you take my pulse, 17:46 it would be jacked up. My heart would be racing all of that 17:49 kind of stuff. And it's not anything that you caused by 17:53 asking me that it's not anything I caused by. I'm 17:56 feeling stressed. It's something that was just 17:59 ingrained in me from childhood for years and years and years 18:03 of that dysregulation. If I wrote something at that moment, 18:07 my handwriting would look different when you want to see 18:10 if you emotionally dysregulated just write something and you 18:13 will say, well, you know, if I was telling on your body is 18:16 telling us that the lion. So and so when you actually say 18:20 to yourself, OK, how do I learn to set boundaries? Because it's 18:24 a learned response and how I learned to take care of myself 18:28 and start slow cause nobody around you. If you pick people 18:31 around you that and respond to you showing up 18:34 as a liar, we are showing up and not in your own skin. 18:38 You showing up in just people pleasing everybody. The people 18:41 that are around you are not going to be as healthy and 18:44 they're not going to want you to set any boundaries because 18:46 it doesn't work for them. 18:48 >> Sherry, you just have something so powerful. And and 18:50 you know, I'm a camel the now I'm I'm older than I was last 18:53 year. That's just leave it there. 18:55 But here's the thing that a lot of people don't realize. 18:57 This is huge. This boundary. So vitally important because 19:00 some people that they play the stories now watches between the 19:03 question and your answer. You have taken you have 19:07 literally as quickly as your brain works 19:10 cycle analyzed. What will happen if that person here is a 19:14 no from you or if they hear? Yes, when you and the more 19:17 people in that circle, the more people you have cycle analyzed 19:20 and you come down to the place where you realize if I don't 19:23 say what all these people want to hear, 19:26 they won't like me buy it 19:29 so I can do that. And people that live their lives to be 19:32 light are in jail. 19:34 Absolutely. So I've told that I've told this to my 19:37 congregation. I say I'm no longer preach sermons to be 19:40 liked and then I no longer need to hear. That was a good 19:44 message. I just want to know why do cause? Well, because 19:47 somebody asked me on the couple years ago, I U he's staying out 19:51 of trouble. I said no wash washed. I geez, this is haha. 19:55 I was always in trouble. 19:57 And unlike was said by the former senator that passed when 20:00 Congress he says up, 20:02 if you in trouble being good while it was being honest, 20:06 yeah. For being who you are called to be the sole saying 20:09 yes, saying no. 20:12 He's just say yes. 20:14 When yes is the right answer 20:16 and no one knows it is dry. 20:19 >> What I didn't know when I started to set boundaries is 20:22 that you will lose a lot of people around you. And and that 20:26 was really difficult to me because I never had anyone. 20:29 I'm in my circle. And you know, and so now that I have a circle 20:34 that I created with this lie and and now I'm gonna have to 20:38 and I don't have to say no to everything because I don't want 20:40 to say no to everything. But but when you start saying 20:43 no, they said you lose 80 to 90% of the people that you have 20:46 put in her article and to me, I thought, oh, no, the kid in me 20:50 can't stand that. There was so wrong reasons. Yeah, they were 20:53 there for the wrong reason. And their agenda is not because 20:57 they choose you is because you work for them. And so so 21:01 literally being able to say is that that I need people around 21:05 me and that when we see we wrote a program here when we 21:08 did celebrating life in recovery a 14 week program to 21:11 help you connect with others. And so literally put people 21:14 around you that you can connect honestly with that is going to 21:18 reaffirm your 21:20 person. Hood. Yes. Used to be with you. Laugh with you. 21:24 I have people that I go out paddle boarding with in 21:27 kayaking with and spending the weekend with and and to win. 21:31 I have to do a hard discussion or have that hard conversation 21:35 in set boundaries. I will call the people that I love and say 21:38 this is difficult for me and they'll process out. What are 21:41 you afraid of what's happening? And when I do said a boundary 21:45 is I I don't set a boundary lightly, but I set boundaries 21:48 when I need to and I show up authentically as myself. 21:52 And you know what I found out this is so weird and please 21:55 don't take this in a way that is anyway. But what I'm trying 21:59 to say, yes, I like who I am when I show up. Yeah, I've not 22:03 done that. We I'd like who am I show up and I feel solid. 22:08 I I feel like I don't have to prove anything until I can 22:11 fully see you and be concerned about you. I can laugh at your 22:15 successes and your your journey and I can just enjoy all of 22:19 that because I'm not trying to do anything. Can I'm just 22:22 allowing my friends to show up in me to show up to your 22:25 readers. Funny. Yeah, 20 said on this faithful, all the 22:29 wounds of of friend, but the cases of an enemy on deceitful. 22:34 And that's what we're talking about. And that's exactly 22:36 right. And Jeanne, I like when somebody tells me the truth, 22:39 you have something it he's not just that. You tell me about 22:43 it. 22:44 Yeah, go ahead of time. And what I've got to say and is 22:47 that that's so powerful and into may have known you for a 22:51 long time and you are amazing to hang our hat. So it is it is 22:55 very interesting to hang out with you. But when we hang out 22:59 with each other and we hang out with each other and we forget, 23:03 we forget, let God help you to just show up, right? Don't have 23:08 an agenda. Just show up next in if I say something to you like, 23:11 you know, like and yeah, I'm going over to Europe and I'm 23:16 going to do in our program over there which I am in May how to 23:19 do in our program over there. Would you come with me? Sure. 23:25 Let's go. Oh, yeah. We said you couldn't. You would say what 23:30 are the dates might? How much is it and you say she that's 23:34 ridiculous. I can't do that. And we could laugh a bit of 23:37 coal mine and I go all the day's over right? To be honest 23:40 about to be okay. Now that another one, Nashua. 23:43 >> These these are questions that you need to do an entire 23:46 seminar at a church for just these questions here. But here 23:48 he's he's he's at that time. Do you find yourself are 23:52 readily taking responsibility for others, feelings and 23:55 problems this people out there that do? 23:58 >> Isn't that it's hard. It's but I if I wish we could 24:02 just say to anybody watching the program might now raise 24:05 your hand hands all over the world to try it. Because do you 24:10 find yourself? Not only will I make sure that my answer 24:13 doesn't cause you any stress, but I will take responsibility 24:17 for anything. You feel about that and it's not mine to take. 24:21 If you turn around and you say something poor about because of 24:25 the boundary. I said that's not even mine. My responsibility. 24:29 It's none of my business. What you say. It doesn't change 24:32 a thing about who I am. And I used to take full 24:34 responsibility for all of that. Right? And that's a horrible 24:38 way to live in. It's exhausting and I can't show up 24:42 authentically ever. And so being able to convince somebody 24:46 that for one, you can't be responsible. If I say something 24:50 that I need to say to you, because every time you borrow 24:52 my car, you bring it back with no gas. And I just I'm so 24:56 resentful about that until next Uber. And I don't mind because 25:00 I love you. You are my friend. But fill it up, right? Yeah, 25:04 he's just saying. So if someone says never borrow your car 25:07 again, then then that she all right. But you but Co dependent 25:11 will say no, no, I'm sorry, let me fix it. And they'll back 25:15 paddle that but don't back pedal. It did be honest with 25:19 some buddies and make sure you be honest with something in 25:21 front of that. You know that I love you. You know that you are 25:25 my fries and I don't mind any of this. But what I do resent 25:28 is having to then go to the gas station. So it's like being 25:32 able to be 25:34 confront a in a way that honest and still value the 25:39 friendships. If that person says, you know what, I'm 25:42 offended by what you said and I do want to be a friend anymore. 25:45 You have to say, OK, and you have to then grieve, et. 25:49 I can say, OK, pretend it didn't hurt. I can walk into 25:52 the other room and cry like a baby and I should because 25:55 losing friends for whatever reason this ad. But I can't not 26:00 say it. 26:01 >> Because it changes who I am in a way that I'm not willing 26:03 to do anymore. Thank you for saying that street because a 26:05 lot of people say what are the people want to hear? Because 26:09 they have some kind of I think you said earlier, people 26:13 placing quality, but it's not a quality. It's a it's what I 26:17 call. It's it's incarceration, hale and hearty waited because 26:22 they have not met themselves yet human and until they and 26:25 they're afraid to meet themselves, right. So the worst 26:29 thing is to have 5 people that have different 5 different 26:31 opinions and you in the middle and have to be responsible for 26:34 everybody else's feelings. It gets overwhelming. You just 26:37 you can't deal with that situation. That's the next 26:39 question because so much here. 26:41 >> All the fine. Just so fun. I guess that this harm this one 26:45 have you have to be focused on so much being loving and 26:49 unselfish, 26:51 but you forgotten you don't limit limitations rule. 26:57 >> You know you I can tell by the look on your face and you 27:00 and I can talk about that for all types salute Lee, so have I 27:04 I forgot my own limitations. Have I forgot my own value? 27:08 Have I 27:10 maybe even never understood that. Never explored it. 27:13 And so I think even as we going to set boundaries as we going 27:16 to do that kind of journey is a reason you do it with other 27:20 people like we would never meant to do any of this by 27:23 yourself and got a dog for sake meeting together. I think it's 27:27 only once a week at church. I know know that every single 27:31 issue is hang out with each other. Confess your sins one to 27:35 another, pray for each other so that you may be healed. It's 27:38 all of that stuff. And so if I'm going to, if I'm going to 27:41 step into setting limits, understanding what that means 27:47 is, first of all, I have to know what they are like. 27:49 What are my limit? Who is this person? I used to feel like if 27:53 I walk by somebody to to find us, I would disappear was like 27:57 missed. I wasn't solid enough to actually even do that. 28:01 And then there's a there's a this a book that I love and in 28:06 in in it's a Cs Lewis book on the Gray Divorce. And in that 28:11 book he does this this and allergy about have and then how 28:16 and and and spiritual growth. And he starts out with even the 28:20 smallest souvenir from h*** will keep you from heaven, 28:23 which got my attention. You can't take all luggage with you 28:26 on every trip to the small, a souvenir. And so then and then 28:30 he does this group of people that are waiting for a bus and 28:33 the bus is going to take them to heaven, right? And so it's 28:38 just an analogy. It's the story. So they're waiting. 28:40 And all the sudden they go from this grey existence to this 28:43 color and all this kind of soften, then they they the bus 28:47 stops and it's beautiful and there are angels waiting for 28:50 them. Each of them has their angel. That knows them really 28:53 was this woman looks at her angel, like I think that angels 28:57 coming on to me and she reaches in her bag and with the Angeles 29:01 thinking is and she looks terrible. She's like, but skin 29:05 and bones like she almost didn't make it, you know, 29:08 and really wanted to nurture her and her journey. But she 29:11 pulls out her lipstick and put some lipstick on initial 29:14 support. FedEX scene that we are looking at outwardly who we 29:18 are rather than stepping in to a real life. And so she gets 29:23 off the bus and she starts screaming, screaming, like 29:27 nobody would told me it would hurt to be here. I nobody told 29:32 me. And and what the story says is that if we can show up to 29:37 heaven 29:38 in our state, we are not real enough to even walk on the 29:41 grass yet. And our healing journey is about becoming 29:45 reeling off to walk on the grass. And so she decides to 29:49 get back on the bus and go home. But that hit me so hard 29:52 is like setting boundaries and finding out what our limits are 29:56 and who we are in Christ and what our journey is. Well, 29:59 I never hung a picture on my wall until I was in my 30's 30:03 because I didn't trust my own case. I didn't I wouldn't all 30:06 pick a color and and do any of that kind of stuff. My trump in 30:10 a feud with all of that, right? And so I've got to find out. 30:14 I don't even at that time I 30:16 I don't even know if you said what's your favorite color? 30:19 I would say your favorite color, obviously. What Yahoo 30:24 question with a question. Yeah. 30:25 >> And I tell people about that. If somebody says and I 30:27 had a couple sitting before me and said next time given Matt 30:30 Matt given counseling. And so when you're done, you know, 30:34 take your fiance, 2 restaurants. So I said, what 30:37 restaurant do you like to go to the mask and the wife to be? 30:40 She has a fiance him. In fact, what? What rest what would you 30:43 like? I said stop right there. Yes, stop it there. 30:47 He just asked you sorry he has to. What restaurant do you like 30:50 to go in? You asked him what the restaurant would you 30:51 prefer? I said 5 years from now you can wake up and realize you 30:55 didn't. You didn't even though the sky 30:57 and he never got to know you because he wants to know foods 30:59 you like and you want to 31:01 you prefer instead of answering that question about what you 31:04 like. You're deferring your likes. 31:06 >> To his legs and let you just you just let yourself in last 31:10 out was a red flag for a narcissistic relationship. 31:13 Oh, that's a whole nother thing is it's if somebody to Lee is 31:16 asking new just as a set up to get back what they wanted. 31:22 Most Co dependence will pick relationships like that. 31:25 We don't want to make the decision. We want someone else 31:28 to make the decision which puts us on dangerous ground. Yes. 31:31 And then we want to blame the other person when God says no, 31:34 no, no. You felt safety in not putting yourself out there at 31:40 any level and letting someone else make those decisions. 31:44 And so when I started to feel less safe in doing that and 31:47 asking myself, what 31:50 do you want to eat? 31:52 That's a part of the first part of knowing the limits to sign 31:56 is finding out. What are the limits? What are your limits? 31:59 What are your desires? What are we got says I'll give you this 32:02 is Ayers of your heart. And we've never been explored what 32:05 those are. But even God himself says, you know, kenley's hang 32:09 out a little bit. He shared this with me. And so it is a 32:13 really weird thing about setting boundaries. We're 32:15 learning about about boundaries, learning about 32:17 recovery, learning about coming out of trauma is we are 32:21 learning so much about who we are and one day you wake up in 32:26 your own skin full of joy and that Tex you that the joy of 32:31 the Lord is your strength will finally make sense. 32:33 >> I know I know what you're saying, obviously, really 32:36 because sometimes a and I want to set this up. Some ask you 32:40 the question. 32:41 Sometimes people feel use myself as to sometimes people 32:44 feel person. 32:45 When you set a limit of the people, things that you don't 32:48 like them when in fact saying no, not right now he's in fact 32:52 what you should say. Yes, people have asked me to do 32:55 certain things I set out overnight right now. I can do 32:58 right now. Yeah, later on and they think on anyone to help 33:01 me, 33:02 no, I just told you I don't. I'm not going help. You just 33:04 said not right now. Why do people feel that they have to 33:07 say yes. So can you set limits and still be a loving person? 33:11 >> Yes, but but what's really crazy about that is the entire 33:16 world will tell, you know, 33:18 Satan himself will tell, you know, when when the when the 33:21 Bible says fight against the schemes of the enemy because 33:23 the schemes of the enemy is I want you overburdened. I want 33:26 you discouraged. I want you not to show up as yourself. I want 33:29 you not to be on this with what you feel and even what your 33:32 time management looks like. I want you just to be drowning 33:36 in all of this. People pleasing stuff. All of this stuff in God 33:40 says no, no, no. 33:42 I even went away in prey. 33:44 I took off for entire night. I literally said I need to back 33:48 away right now because he didn't say no to ministry. 33:52 He didn't even say no to the cross, but he took care of 33:55 himself and he didn't. He didn't say yes, when yes was 34:00 not the right. No night and not the right response. Not even 34:04 the right. And to the response that I give like people that 34:07 know me now, I'm no me that that 34:11 then I would be real clear with you and not in a mean way at 34:15 all because I love the people in my life right then. And I'll 34:19 just say, and then I'm a, you know, do want to go skydiving 34:24 and like, yeah, I know. I would say, yeah, that's it. And I 34:31 want to opt out of this half. You know? So I would say no, 34:35 not because I don't think you're funny and fun and 34:38 adventurous, but unite just I just I'm not in my mind. 34:42 I'll be right with you. 34:44 >> All right. But I say I'm not giving the devil handy option, 34:47 Lou. And this is all and sabia work, you know, the bridge 34:52 between Zambia and Zimbabwe. So the sky invites me to go 34:55 bungee jumping with him in a country where they have no 34:57 insurance. You die, you die. Yeah. Your body just votes on 34:59 the so it says a pay. If you go ahead and doing that, he says 35:05 so 35:06 it ticks 100 foot, drop 600 foot drop over 1100 foot. 35:10 Dive down to this empty river. Victoria falls right there 35:15 and I said I'm not doing that. 35:17 >> So I pay for us. It is not the cost. I just I'm not doing 35:21 that. But even the next thing that a lot of people will say, 35:24 are you chicken out? You don't think that it's not a fan, 35:27 a wounded early, just setting a boundary just Cessna. I took a 35:30 breath. I thought about that. And I just have no interest and 35:34 I don't need to explain myself further. So what happened? 35:37 And we set boundaries and we don't know our own limits. 35:39 Is we over? Explain. We talked more than we need to and we 35:43 don't believe that. Yes or no is enough. And when the Bible 35:46 says let your yes P s I know we know 35:51 someone is upset by a boundary spy without your 35:54 responsibility. That's what I would ask myself. Is it my 35:57 responsibility of how you respond to that boundary? 36:01 It is not. It's really none of my business. What if they 36:05 scream and yell what if they throw a chair? What if they do 36:08 whatever that all of that is not my issue. And I know it was 36:13 not my intention to get you up. Said it was not my intention to 36:17 start all this drama. But if your trauma cause you to Oregon 36:22 to somebody because of they said the boundary on you, 36:25 please look into that. And I ca probably wouldn't say that at 36:27 that moment. 36:29 >> Yeah, I would say that the but you put exactly by setting 36:32 a boundary. 36:33 You're letting them know that whatever response you get from 36:36 them, 36:37 you didn't cause that a man. That's what people have to 36:40 understand. We're so concerned about how people may feel if we 36:45 don't acquiesce Aubrey. Yeah, but take their position that we 36:49 sometimes lose ourselves and we go home and all those toxic 36:53 things out. We stopped feeling they did. We feel drained. 36:56 We exhale, we inhale. We fall down. The country can do 36:59 anything because we've lost SOS in that moment. When you read 37:02 the when you really want to be honest, yes, we have too afraid 37:05 to be an even. 37:07 >> If I'm not for the bounties, if I if I end up home and I'm 37:10 exhausted, I'm going to escape into something. I'm going to 37:13 grab a gallon of ice cream. I'm gonna turn the TV on. 37:17 I'm the do whatever I can to disconnect from the 37:20 uncomfortable feelings of the lies. And I just told myself 37:24 about my right to set a boundary as I'm a I'm in the 37:27 escape. And so if I want to stop escaping myself, I need to 37:31 show up and be authentic and I don't want to do that. Some 37:34 people do it aggressively. You don't need to do it 37:36 aggressively. Thank you. Everybody has a right to just 37:39 say yes or no. Everybody has a right. And what I found out is 37:44 that all the sudden 37:46 people are choosing to sit next to me in friendship 37:51 that value my showing up offensively. And so you lose 37:56 some people, but you'll gain some people and more 37:59 importantly, you will gain yourself. You literally start 38:04 to saying that you are always enough. I am enough and I've 38:08 always been enough and I just didn't know it. 38:13 >> Before we ask the next question, I want to thank you 38:15 for that. Because I know I have said that the that the 38:17 listeners and viewers of the problem, I know there are 38:19 listening carefully. People need to know that it's OK 38:25 to set boundaries and not feel the need to just always Lucia 38:29 Self. And that's what I want to let you know, because some of 38:33 you are understanding exactly what she is saying. But all 38:37 that psychological chemical reaction to how you feel is is 38:41 interrupting. Why? 38:43 >> Interrupting the answer that you want to give payments. 38:45 So when do emotionally dysregulated. So let's say at a 38:49 boundary and I emotionally dysregulated and I am spending 38:52 and all the sudden I feel like every my pulse is going up. 38:56 My handwriting is dysregulated I I I feel so much stress. 39:00 I don't know even how to do the next sentence or conversation 39:04 because when we emotionally dysregulated everything, 39:07 it's everything changes and I can play it off like it. 39:10 I can literally do the next thing. But I don't it's tough 39:15 work, right? So when I mostly just regulate, there's things 39:18 that you can do to get yourself back into your skin in the 39:22 first thing, feel your feet on the ground. 39:26 But in my feet feel like right now as it hits this chair or 39:29 the ground. Yeah, right. And pay attention to that. 39:32 So now I'm out of the spin. Yes. What is your bottom feel 39:36 like sitting on this chair? But does it feel like and you 39:39 just start to actually say become conscious? Yeah, I'm 39:43 going to become conscious of the reality here. Find 39:46 something in the room to look at like there's a beautiful 39:49 picture of Jesus in the background holding a black 39:52 lamb. My favorite picture of anybody ever want to give me 39:55 that I needed yet my favorite picture. So look at something 40:00 that will get your mind off. Put. Take a drink few with the 40:04 water. Feels like on your mouth by smell something, say 40:08 something. Look at something, feel something and you start to 40:12 get back in your own skin and then I can step in and say the 40:15 next thing but don't try to set any more anything else. You are 40:19 not obligated to stay in the conversation. If you 40:22 emotionally, I can say, you know what can you hold that? 40:26 I'll be back in 15 minutes. I'm going to take a walk and 40:29 somebody says you don't you don't know my husband. I don't 40:32 have to know your husband. I I want to know you. Yeah. 40:34 And do you feel like you have the right to say right now? 40:38 I cannot hear you. I'm going to take a walk and I'll be right 40:42 back. Like what you're saying, John, I'm not saying no, 40:45 I'm not. And I won't be in the conversation that I cannot do 40:48 it right now. I need to take a breath. 40:50 >> What I'd done that I've done that effectively and some 40:53 people have misinterpreted that like, you know, you don't help 40:56 me. And I said, no, not right. Now later, I'll be I'll give 41:00 you my full attention, but I need to get what I'm doing 41:03 right now. My full attention. And this is what I want. 41:05 You know, that's when you get to that plan live. 41:08 You begin to be free. A man whom I wish you could you could 41:11 say this, honey, I said 41:13 a people don't have to agree with me. So to have the right 41:16 to my opinion that you have the right to my conclusion, even if 41:20 my opinion, it's not based on a set of facts. It's my opinion. 41:23 Yeah. So don't try to change it because it's my opinion. 41:27 Yeah. But if what I say is based on my own research, 41:30 don't try to undo my research with your research because the 41:33 bottom line is this is my research, cement Sabbath. 41:36 Musselman said the last, OK, Raiders of the lost art of 41:41 thinking. 41:42 >> They haven't Raiders of the Lost Ark. I think, you know, 41:45 I'm still going to be that, OK? So I mean on that's that's the 41:48 city, even for any of that when when the them I think the devil 41:53 himself made us feel like that. There are certain things that 41:58 if I quit, then I've arrived, right. And in like I said, 42:03 it's just the ticket to the movie. It's just a ticket to 42:06 get into your life is quitting. Everything else is part of the 42:10 transformation that uses his promise to said I will leave 42:14 every day. I will renew your thinking every day. I will 42:17 challenge your belief systems and some of your belief 42:21 systems. God himself will celebrate because they're so 42:23 good. Some of your relationships are so good, 42:26 but some of them have to be challenged and a half now. 42:30 And it has great work that comes with it. It has. It has, 42:34 you know, you really have to say, OK, God, I'm going to stop 42:37 fighting you on this. Yes, I'm John. You are nice and you you 42:42 explain to somebody why you set the boundary. We don't have to 42:46 not all. Actually, I don't think a good idea to say 42:49 because it is because sometimes setting a boundary 42:52 no matter how you explain it, if the person has an agenda, 42:56 your explanations are going to do. No good at also said in the 43:00 boundary is important for you and for them. And if you check 43:04 your heart and you do it because this truly is a 43:07 boundary for you, this is truly the kind of saying to do or the 43:10 most important thing. You know, your time constraint to 43:13 whatever is said it in, don't over. Explain or explain. 43:16 There's there's a new thing called the apartment triangle 43:20 to try and go at top is a persecutor rescuer and victim. 43:25 And so when we don't know how to take care of ourselves and 43:29 to set boundaries is that we live on this triangle. I 43:32 doesn't matter where we're at on the triangle where either 43:35 you're first getting because we're angry at somebody or were 43:37 victims are rescuing. But when God says, hey, how about get 43:42 off the triangle high and it's our choice to get off at any 43:46 time. You find yourself back on the triangle as you take a 43:49 breath, don't be rate yourself to step off. I'm pretty soon 43:54 you'll find that you're on the triangle less and less and 43:56 less. And you're showing up authentically as yourself not 44:00 rescuing anybody else. That plan a victim and definitely 44:03 not persecuting anyone because 44:06 you're free. And that's what you talked about a lot, John, 44:09 is that we end up being free and in our own skin and 44:13 celebrating life beyond what Trump has done. So forgiveness 44:17 is a huge thing. We know it just father has done here and 44:21 whether you have you forgiven them. You know, forgiveness is 44:24 a big thing and it's really tough like with my father. 44:27 I had to get a little baby shoe of his and I had to look at 44:31 this baby. She was a little white to that with us lace, 44:34 isn't it? And I had to say, Lord, I forgive my father for 44:38 all the abuse that happened in his life 44:41 as a baby, that he was able to grow up and you're all of his 44:45 children. And so I had to for a while, look at that shooting 44:48 now that I understand trauma and epigenetic somehow traumas 44:53 followed us from generation to generation. As I can look at, 44:58 I saw and say, and we have all carried someone's trauma and 45:04 then traumatized ourselves and we traumatize ourselves and 45:08 maybe even traumatize our children. And that's why 45:11 forgiveness not only for each other is important but were to 45:15 receive forgiveness from God that I have to know that God 45:18 looks at all of this and my guilt and all of this, my I'm 45:22 not showing up and not authentically and being able to 45:25 lie to my child or are not be the president with her growing 45:28 up because I was trying to people, please, God says I 45:32 forgive you. 45:33 I forgive you, do not beat yourself up over this. Do not. 45:37 You know, my my Angela said, you know, into, you know 45:42 something 45:43 into you'll act a certain way into, you know, better than do 45:46 better. Yeah. I mean, it's a very simple statement in my gut 45:49 says is, don't beat yourself up. Don't let the enemy get a 45:53 hold of you and let you spend in guilt because, you know, 45:56 dis regulating guilt at don't do that. 45:59 >> God says you are, can my blood covers this? And now 46:02 let's learn to do was to save us all loving it. You need to 46:05 have a someone all you do. You just say come on in if 46:09 you're broke and people that don't come and want to admit 46:11 their pro can watch us. Real quick summit thought completely 46:14 different question with all left and right before we go 46:16 there, OK, he said this. 46:18 >> Is that I'm coming out of retirement. Okay. So if 46:21 somebody for one eye have not a dime fact at times, can't even 46:26 afford groceries now may even lose my house, which is I'm not 46:31 complaining about that. But if you can sponsor me going to 46:35 seminars, working with people want to any of that stuff, 46:39 please do because I'm not asking this because I want a 46:41 new outfit, even how that would be were a size 8. Haha, I'm 46:48 just asking that. I don't know how like Danny was gracious 46:51 enough to allow me to set back in the ministry or in the 46:55 ministry. I'm asking if somebody is out there that can 46:58 help me to step in the ministry or if you can invite me to your 47:01 church or let me do a seminar or any of that stuff, please 47:06 do. 47:07 >> Yeah, I think we have your e-mail that I'll ask him to put 47:10 the not share that with the views before the problem is 47:12 over. OK, go ahead with a completely different question 47:14 here, honey, what you wish you could look at how the wife 47:18 affectively manage my digits whole life 47:22 so that it doesn't control me. 47:25 >> You know what? It what stuff that 47:28 so important to me, John. But 47:31 we have given 47:35 kids cell phones at to try just babysat them. Yeah. And the 47:40 kids went in 2010 from a play 47:44 economy 47:46 to a phone Com E so they're meant to learn by plane moving 47:50 their bodies, doing all this kind of stuff. Their minds or 47:53 their brains are 90% developed by the time they're 5. And now 47:58 all they're moving is their fingers at 10. They're 48:00 scrolling. You take away their phone. They sound like an 48:03 addict. You take away the device. They sound like an 48:05 addict. We gave him Einstein and computers and learning 48:09 things what they're finding out and in different places that it 48:12 was so damaging that it is changed and neurochemistry of a 48:16 generation all over the world. So from 2010 until now, suicide 48:22 rates went up and hedonistic disorders. When UPS depression 48:26 wind up anxiety is off the chart and you look at these 48:29 kids and they show up in college and they want safe 48:32 places. They don't even know how to show up without you 48:35 providing safe places because they don't know how to do that 48:38 for themselves. So these are not spoiled brat. He's are not 48:41 people that don't have a brand. These are people that we have 48:44 program in certain countries won't even let you program the 48:48 kids under 6. It's against the law. Has devices also injury? 48:52 Yeah, and damaging. So we've changed in our chemistry of a 48:55 generation and yet we don't think it affects us, but it 48:59 affects anybody that's on their device, actually more than a 49:03 few hours a day and some kids, it's 20 hours a day. So that 49:07 means or sleep so disruptive. They're eating this disruptive. 49:10 They don't know how to communicate their their their 49:13 face-to-face to office is not developed at Alderson. Dana 49:17 Modi's rather than doing a facial expression and it is 49:21 that epidemic of our time. It says it released due to the 49:25 bottom ease 2 people. We thought that we would genius to 49:28 do that or electric shock treatment and all that kind of 49:31 stop. And we did that long before. We knew that that was 49:33 horrendous. It was horrible now, right for mutilating young 49:37 kids by removing genders and all that kind of stopped and 49:40 were given devices to other kids to kids that are changing 49:44 them neurochemistry. So when you talk about trauma, there's 49:48 so many levels of trauma, but there's levels of trauma right 49:52 now that children, 25 years, 30 years old and under, are 49:58 walking into the world ill equipped and have no idea who 50:01 they are. And they are fabulous folks, but they have no idea. 50:05 So to me devices, we're going to look back if we're still 50:09 around, hopefully will be home by then. But if we're still 50:12 around 10, 20 years from now, we're going to be repenting. 50:15 >> Of what we did to both generate well, the world right 50:17 now. I think it may have been you might. My life was just 50:19 reminded me. We're the one that recommended the book to me. 50:22 Thrilled to death in a tweet by TalkTalk trouble him powerful. 50:26 Get that book, thrilled to death that talks about and had 50:28 only of how the simple pleasures of life you can not 50:31 experience any longer. 50:32 >> This gem because it's flat-lined. Yeah, the pleasure 50:35 centers of your brain that you are not producing the 50:38 neurochemistry that you need. And 2 men. You talk about 50:40 somebody that younger because we at least have developed that 50:45 Brian and getting back to that as possible use takes a 2 50:49 year-old that has been on devices their whole lives. 50:51 They have it more difficult time, not impossible but more 50:55 difficult time to get back to that state or to a state of 50:59 being in their own skin and alive without chemical 51:03 assistant. 51:04 >> And the more people have that the more exposure people 51:07 have at any age to this device, 51:10 the less they have the ability to focus. 51:13 >> That's a difficult thing. So so I run programs right now 51:18 healing through the arts. So we we actually do right 51:21 brand healing to art and music. And and and it just kind of 51:25 getting into all that kind of stuff hands on stop. We go out, 51:29 even even kayaking or power boarding. And we go out on 51:32 weekends and hike together and all that kind of stuff. So 51:35 anything you can do to add to your online stop don't feel 51:39 like I might have to take it away to some kids would rather 51:41 you lose a lamb, then you take their phone. We know. And so 51:46 it's so true. So it's like don't don't think about that. 51:49 But think about if you have children, if you have friends, 51:52 if you love anybody, take him outside, do something. You 51:57 know, when got Tommy had a love because I didn't know how to 51:59 love. I mean, that would what does that mean exactly and what 52:02 he said? I want you to go outside and just take a walk in 52:05 any time you see something that makes you smile, know that 52:08 you've experienced me a little bit. And so what I saw flower 52:12 color or smelled something or whatever, so get outside and 52:15 know that the angels themselves walk with you when you're in 52:19 nature. I mean that this is a spiritual experience. And when 52:23 you do that with each other and connect a laugh with each 52:25 other, it is absolutely amazing to don't think that I can stay 52:29 on lines going through a device and learning how to set 52:32 boundaries are learning how to communicate or connecting with 52:35 anybody that's going to be life changing to me or them. So it 52:39 is 52:40 it is a health is a home new world. 52:44 >> So so you e-mail would be celebrating life for Christ. 52:49 Yes, at G Mail dot com. Yes, yeah. There is. It is on the 52:53 bottom of the screen celebrating life for Chrysler 52:56 and G Mail dot com. Now, the reason given that e-mail, 52:59 I just want the people listening watching the program 53:01 to know that I don't want to add a month in the midst that 53:05 you said earlier, this appeal that she made was a very honest 53:08 appealed versus your appeal because we've known you and we 53:12 know you we know you're out, you know, the Austin on using 53:15 that word 53:16 of experiences and what you have. But the lawyer wrote you 53:19 through and how the laws of C we've we've experienced that 53:22 here. But God is not finished yet. And that's what the sun 53:26 God is not finished with you yet. And you're still at the 53:29 place where these questions and the skills that God has allowed 53:32 you to experience and develop from that kind of live. It's 53:35 helpful in your community. You might be a pastor. Yeah, 53:38 you might be a local leader. You might be a person who's 53:40 running a show home for young girls that don't know they are. 53:45 You might be a person that wants to add a different 53:48 dimension to your rehab center or a person that's dealing with 53:51 people that are just strung out on something 53:53 you've been there should use and and what I like about it, 53:57 we've had you preach at a church before. What I like 53:59 about it is she not only has had these experiences that 54:01 you've experienced God to bring. The scriptural has 54:04 picked a name. And so you not just telling people about all 54:07 that you've been to how to get out of it. Yeah. Power of Khan 54:10 to power cars. So in the time we have remaining give us about 54:13 the 30 seconds or so. But talk to the people on the camera 54:17 thing right behind me here. Just kind of reach out to them 54:20 in kids. Some encouraging words before we close this program is 54:23 solvent encouragement. 54:24 Talk directly to them. 54:25 >> Yeah, I just want to say if there's anybody out there that 54:28 in the middle of their trauma and they really don't know what 54:30 to do with us is I want to say men grab people around you and 54:36 there's so many groups there's on celebrating life in 54:39 recovery, which is our group there celebrate recovery, 54:41 which is another group out there. There's a 12 step 54:44 program anywhere. There's Bible studies. There's a lot of 54:47 different things that you can grab hold of, but don't do this 54:50 by yourself and know 54:52 now that recovery is possible. I promise you, I promise you 54:56 that we put your hand up to God and he will grab hold of the 54:59 other side of that. And so don't be afraid of that. 55:03 It call OS. I'm gonna call me because we can talk. And I and 55:08 I don't mean that lightly. And again, I want to go to the 55:11 person that can actually help sponsor us is when somebody 55:15 calls, I want to be able to give them the time. And I can't 55:18 even buy groceries some of the time just because of where I'm 55:23 not coming out of retirement. So if you can sponsor anything 55:26 sponsor us with our one to one sponsor us with our 55:29 interventions with family sponsor us. When we go out to 55:31 communities and if you have a quarter in your pocket, send it 55:35 to us because we need that and know that it's needed. We've 55:40 got a world that is being lost in trauma all over the world. 55:44 Not just one country, not just one area, not just one. When we 55:49 talk about all this cultural stuff and racial stuff, it is. 55:52 There's no on divide here. We are all dealing with 55:56 something and we all need each other and we all need the lord. 56:01 That's kind of I don't mean lame to say. But I know people 56:05 here that all the time. But I believe that with everything in 56:07 me is I can't do this without God. You can't do this without 56:10 God, and we can't do this without each other. That's 56:12 right. 56:14 >> She said, well, you know, I feel like I got some free 56:17 counseling to hull so many points, the tweet which we have 56:21 through the years. But on a show, the script to John 16, 56:23 33 Jesus said in the world, you will have tribulation but 56:28 Sheree and we all have turned out to be a good year have 56:31 overcome the world. Don't forget there's going to be a 56:34 day when there's no more on all this stuff. You've got to make 56:37 it through the 23rd psalm. Let that be your guide at the 56:40 Lord is your shepherd. Everything that David talked 56:42 about will be your experience. 56:43 But as you say, one day, you'll do well in the House of the 56:47 Lord Forever. I'm Ashley PETA. So good to have you here. 56:50 Yes, baby in family. Thank you for joining us tonight. Tell 56:53 you celebrate something today and celebrate this that Jesus 56:57 is on your side and, you know, bring you through onto the next 57:00 time publishing 57:02 [MUSIC] 57:07 [MUSIC] 57:12 [MUSIC] 57:17 [MUSIC] 57:22 [MUSIC] 57:27 [MUSIC] 57:32 [MUSIC] 57:37 [MUSIC] 57:42 [MUSIC] 57:47 [MUSIC] 57:52 [MUSIC] 57:57 [MUSIC] |
Revised 2024-08-10