[MUSIC]
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[MUSIC]
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>> Hello. Welcome back to
the second. Now, if you're the
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first now it felt like 10
minutes. Yeah, one so far and
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because we have surely Peters
in the house. So good to have
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you here. Shiri. Thank, you
know, and if you just joining
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us, we're talking about the
other side of trauma. The other
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side of the brain life is
celebrating the other side of
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all that you have gone through.
If you missed the first hour
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and then I would encourage
a maybe a few hours from now,
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watch the repeat and then get
it again on Sunday and then on
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Tuesday. But Sherry just walked
us through a valley. I mean,
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you know, if you
look at the 23rd Psalms,
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>> your life will be the valley
of the shadow of death. But let
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me and that surely goodness and
morning, OK, I'm glad that I'm
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right that every day in my
journal, yeah, surely goodness
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and mercy will follow me all
the days and I would do well in
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the house of the Lord Forever.
It Man, it's a powerful thing.
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When I got to say one thing
that you and it did for me.
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So got open the
door for ministry.
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>> I've rescued been part
of a team that rescued kids in
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Thailand from the sex trade
industry in Kenya from been
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given clinic to muse and sold
into marriage. And people have
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felt like their life was
over and they had no chance of
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stepping in to their own life
in their own skin and got is
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just in Russia with heroin
addict. I mean, we have been
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all over the world with dealing
with different traumas, but my
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dad died when I was here at
3ABN one year. And I remember
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not I had ended that
relationship because I mean,
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I've been molested by him since
I was 3 months old. And and
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that trauma was so amazing
to me when I got pregnant myself
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and had a little girl, I just
thought I can never hand this
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little girl over to and because
he had not ever even told me,
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you just said, yeah, I never
said any of that. So I just
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ended that relationship.
And when I was here and I heard
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that my dad had died, I just
didn't know how did I didn't
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know how to breathe, like
I didn't know how to do do
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anything. I didn't at first I
was afraid that I wouldn't feel
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anything. And then I couldn't
stop crying. And and then
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pretty soon. And I'm thinking
who is that all? And pretty
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soon, I hear that again.
And who is that? And and and I
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hear you say, John,
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I'm sure you in
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and I thought, yeah, but
I'm not answering the door. That
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means that. I want to talk to
anybody. Haha, I remember just
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thinking that I I I'm not
I can't open the door. Yeah.
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And you that you guys can
go way, knock, knock, knock,
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knock, knock. And then Andy,
I heard and I thought I cannot I
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don't I don't know. I
don't know. I don't know how to
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breed. And I don't know how
to say goodbye to a dream that I
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hope someday he would have said
I'm sorry and someday we would
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have been reconciled and
someday and I thought I just
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don't know what to do in this
moment. And then pretty soon it
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was clear that you're not going
away. And I opened the door and
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you shared by your story and
your dad and and how you felt
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when he passed. And I remember
just feeling so connected like
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I'm not alone in dealing with
something like this. There are
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people friends that I know
that I love and you that have
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experienced similar things.
And I remember just being blast
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and nurture. And so I want
to say that that even funding
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crisis, it's not the trauma
end, but people will show up
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and god will show up. And and
you get to even the hardest of
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times with he
could read it. I mean,
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>> the Mara police sent us to
you at that moment because that
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was my journey,
meaning my dad at 13,
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knowing him for
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31 years was so at that
time when he passed and the same
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thing happened when he died,
I didn't I never shed a tear or
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even to this very day. Yeah, it
was always. I was always hoping
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that the story would
be different and that was
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different. So, you know, on
that the one thing that came
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encourage monogamy of access
and I was set up Heineman,
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Marlins haven't. And I'm
just sitting there kind of going
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through my emotions. And
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and Dwight Nelson
passed Detroit Nelson
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Newitt Kenny said to
me something, yeah. He was
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preaching to his people had
I told my testimony earlier.
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Yeah, let's have a school like
an early morning service and
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you heard it.
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Any point to me
said, I want to tell you
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if there's any way that the dog
can save your father, he would
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do it. So a lot about it.
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And I remember that. So God
sent me at that moment to that.
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You know, my sister also
she was she passed away, passed
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away just not too long
ago. So these these traumatic
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moments in lives in our life is
to help us understand the part
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of God. I would say to people,
you know, we we know that Jesus
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about the 1, 2, month. 21,
he'll say this people image on
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what went on the lamb of
God to take away this overall.
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But to many of us don't know
the Jesus of Isaiah 61 to mend
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the broken hearted. I'm and
set those who are bound. We are
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free to claim that year
of liberty to give beauty for
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ashes. The thought of
joy in place of the spirit of
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mourning, the garment up race
instead of the spirit of having
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a sense that we don't know that
caused so many of us don't talk
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about that God. So that's
why I'm committed in our church.
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And I was a night every
Wednesday urges people to
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attack, you know,
the doctrinal cod.
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>> We don't know the cause,
but even that I remember just
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coming to God during
that time and just saying why?
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Why didn't you stop him?
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>> I mean, if you are God, like
what was up with that move with
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them to do some real quick,
just 5 us and all the singers.
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I forgot to tell you that you
have to open. If you have it,
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watch the program first
and then allow them to watch it
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later. Just a
little disclaimer. Yes.
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>> So it's like, what can you
do something? Why didn't you do
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something? I was 3 months
old when my grandmother one time
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kind of just said to me that
I'm like she caught my dad or
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something, you know, is
how I got a sense that the left
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happened very, very early.
Like I have no memories times
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about 3 years old, but it
happened very early. And so
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I've got like, why didn't
you do something? And I remember
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through the Holy Spirit, God
saying I tried to get your dad
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to make other
choices every single day,
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every single day. And the only
way I could have stopped it was
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to kill him.
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And if I killed everybody who
send bite, there would not be a
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person around. So we have
free choice. So when people harm
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each other when we harm
each other, when we harm our
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children, it's not the God
is not Santa off as parents as
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grandparents as
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anybody is just please be kind.
Please do with your own trauma
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in your own stuff so that
you're not injuring the people
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around you. And he tried that
with my dad and my dad was not
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responsive. And I and and as
children, we paid the price of
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that. But I I don't think
that that was the first time I
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realized that this was not
God's fault. The only in the
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some party here in this
story is God. That's right.
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>> We're going to talk
about something now that I am
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that is is is something
you've learned. And I want our
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audience to just got one word
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boundary calls boundary.
That's important foundries
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because some of you might be
where she really was. Maybe you
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there now and these questions,
a phenomenal allow just one.
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>> But you start out with this
100st. Let me look for somebody
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just say what I've found is
important. Yeah, but for some
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who say that,
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>> I came out of times, they
came out of addiction. I threw
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myself completely into
ministry. And then to learning
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about who got is and loving
every moment of that loving
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every single time. I got to go
through the Bible every single
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time. I got to hear somebody
give us unlike you, John and in
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your music helps to. But every
single time that I got to hear
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the word of God from other
people, the first camp meeting
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I went was like Doug Bachelor.
And then, you know, Kenneth
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Cox, you know, all those
just incredible men and women,
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Shelly is just showing plan
is just amazing to from latest
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book Hot list. Spotless is that
all of that kind of stuff is
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just amazing to me. But
then now while I am slowing down
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insane at looking at the
trauma aspect of it and just
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wondering, like, I don't
even know like I I got hit with
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something really hard. It
was harder than anything I had
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dealt with in my past and my
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the first part of my life.
So that just hinting at how
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difficult that was the case.
And a friend of mine said you
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need to go to a recovery group.
You need to get support around
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you. And I said, but I'm not
doing drugs. No recovery from
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codependency recovery from the
belief systems that you've held
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through your trauma. And
I'm like, what are you talking
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about? And I knew somewhat of
what they were talking because
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I did psych nursing for 15
years, impatient and stuff.
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But we're pretty ignorant in
that realm of what happens to
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us.
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No chemically and what
happens to our DNA and that that
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genetics and all that kind of
stuff. But so I step into this
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recovery group, the step study
and it break denial about my
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co-dependency in my
co-dependency. My daughter said
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to me one time you are a
liar and I thought of that's one
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thing. I'm not, you know, like
and knowing I am not. And she
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said you never honestly show
up. You never honestly say what
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you feel. You never come in.
And if I say something new will
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appease me, you will make me
feel better. But you also had
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disagree with all right.
You are just very careful.
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And in that you've lied every
day of my life. And I remember
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taking that to God and saying,
God, I can you believe she said
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that he's like, well, you
know, and so when we show up and
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we're not setting boundaries
and we're not even see, I'm
00:10:17.68\00:10:20.85
showing up and being honest
with what we feel in who we are
00:10:20.85\00:10:24.29
and all of that kind of
stuff that we are so damaging
00:10:24.29\00:10:27.66
ourselves further. I tried
going into trauma further and
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we're not showing up. So
there's nothing tangible for
00:10:31.63\00:10:34.20
someone to hold on to. And
so when I started to go through
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that, I just wept and wept and
wept. And I said, am I a liar
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and God, can you heal me?
And he absolutely said, yes.
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I mean, he is he the same
response is, look, can I show
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you who I see when I look
at you as I see a woman of God.
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And this is just part of
the journey interest me in this
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part of the journey. And so I
remember going into the program
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and going through the
powerlessness got is the only
00:11:02.79\00:11:05.49
one that can be stormy to
sanity going through with what
00:11:05.49\00:11:08.80
do I surrender to so that I
can I can allow you to do that.
00:11:08.80\00:11:13.03
And and and then making amends.
And so I had to make amends to
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my daughter for lying
to her her whole life,
00:11:17.31\00:11:21.44
to making it making everyone
else feel good, but never
00:11:21.44\00:11:24.78
showing up as her mom never
showing up as myself. So when I
00:11:24.78\00:11:28.45
talk about boundaries and when
I talk about the gift that we
00:11:28.45\00:11:32.65
give to each other and recovery
it, you can't put up price on
00:11:32.65\00:11:36.52
that. Same himself knows that
if you step out of your trauma
00:11:36.52\00:11:40.33
and step into your own skin
and got eclipse that person,
00:11:40.33\00:11:44.23
you can change the
world. But if you don't do that,
00:11:44.23\00:11:46.90
you would injure
everybody around too.
00:11:46.90\00:11:48.87
>> Sherry, Wow, I mean,
you know, honey, on my talk a
00:11:48.87\00:11:52.44
little volcano, right? Yeah,
I can't take that. Take the cap
00:11:52.44\00:11:57.15
off this. So vitally important.
I try to communicate to people
00:11:57.15\00:12:00.08
this in my life knows this guy.
We've been on personal journey
00:12:00.08\00:12:03.45
to has been just minimal
his size and strength to the
00:12:03.45\00:12:06.52
marriage ministry. My and I
walk with each other and we've
00:12:06.52\00:12:11.03
told couples if you can appeal
to Lee, deadly honest with each
00:12:11.03\00:12:14.86
other, it's you know, there
is still days when we have that
00:12:14.86\00:12:17.70
hiccup, like I want to
hear that that's his humanity.
00:12:17.70\00:12:20.97
But if you cannot give the
other person's delivery to be
00:12:20.97\00:12:23.84
open and honest and
deadly honest with you and you,
00:12:23.84\00:12:26.47
you, you hear
what they're saying.
00:12:26.47\00:12:29.51
How many times have you tell
me? I'm not listening to you.
00:12:29.51\00:12:31.95
And I and I want to she told
me that in the garage, she said
00:12:31.95\00:12:35.25
you're not listening in
00:12:35.25\00:12:37.42
and I put the groceries down
on the garage flock and stay for
00:12:37.42\00:12:40.09
45 minutes. Say that said, talk
to me. Yeah. They must mean the
00:12:40.09\00:12:44.36
caucus talked not Lee. She
said the cross that I don't care
00:12:44.36\00:12:47.76
about the dress is not just
when he came. And that was a
00:12:47.76\00:12:50.50
turning point in all America.
To just talk to me. A lot of
00:12:50.50\00:12:53.90
couples watching the program.
00:12:53.90\00:12:56.44
I don't know how to do that.
They were they fail to realize
00:12:56.44\00:12:59.34
that, you know,
storms do one thing for you
00:12:59.34\00:13:02.48
and not just pretty quickly
get back to them. The worst
00:13:02.48\00:13:04.98
rainstorm we have
had on our way to Miami.
00:13:04.98\00:13:07.55
That's the cleanest free
car wash. We have. Yeah. Got put
00:13:07.55\00:13:10.82
you in storms to clean you
up. Yeah. And he allows those
00:13:10.82\00:13:13.62
storms and then you realize
why boundaries, unnecessary long
00:13:13.62\00:13:17.33
lead into this with a
very important question.
00:13:17.33\00:13:19.39
>> Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait on the list goes on.
00:13:19.39\00:13:21.73
No, no, wait. Because that what
you open on me is the analogy
00:13:21.73\00:13:26.17
that God gave me was kind of
a storm analogy. It said that
00:13:26.17\00:13:29.87
literally when I step into my
recovery and when I stop doing
00:13:29.87\00:13:33.68
whatever it is, religious
addictions, drugs, alcohol,
00:13:33.68\00:13:36.51
gambling, whatever the
addiction is, that made me feel
00:13:36.51\00:13:40.52
better at the moment
when I step out of that porn
00:13:40.52\00:13:44.39
addictions, that kind of thing
when I step out of that is that
00:13:44.39\00:13:47.69
now I'm ready to step into my
life. But it's as if a tornado
00:13:47.69\00:13:51.43
just went through and
everything is destroyed in.
00:13:51.43\00:13:54.60
So it looks overwhelming.
I mean, overwhelming. Like,
00:13:54.60\00:13:58.33
where do I even start? My the
house is destroyed. The whole
00:13:58.33\00:14:01.70
neighborhood is destroyed.
All of that kind of stuff and
00:14:01.70\00:14:04.21
got to start out with just
sorting out. Mike, what do you
00:14:04.21\00:14:07.18
get? Is there anything
salvageable? Is there anything
00:14:07.18\00:14:09.24
that you can to keep? Is there
anything that you need? And
00:14:09.24\00:14:12.15
then once you clean that up
and that takes a while, then you
00:14:12.15\00:14:15.32
can get some skilled craftsman
that will literally start doing
00:14:15.32\00:14:19.75
foundation working and putting
the wall's backup. There's a
00:14:19.75\00:14:22.79
scene in them are a group
out in New Zealand that says it.
00:14:22.79\00:14:27.00
You know, there's all the sides
of the House matter like that.
00:14:27.00\00:14:30.53
You can't just do one side
and expect the whole thing to
00:14:30.53\00:14:33.03
censor the the clearing that
whole thing out is literally
00:14:33.03\00:14:36.81
restoration. What does
that mean and who is going to be
00:14:36.81\00:14:39.94
gathered around you to help you
put the building back together
00:14:39.94\00:14:43.91
and then are you going to
put the building back together
00:14:43.91\00:14:45.95
exactly the same now now,
because why would you when God
00:14:45.95\00:14:54.56
says restoration, he's saying
that that we think that when we
00:14:54.56\00:15:00.10
work with somebody that we're
going to work with them and
00:15:00.10\00:15:02.23
just clean him up, we're going
to stop their drink, you know,
00:15:02.23\00:15:04.63
whatever in God. So if you stop
their shame on you, shame on
00:15:04.63\00:15:09.50
you because this person,
this man, a woman of God, has no
00:15:09.50\00:15:13.31
idea the value. There's a song
that says when the slave awakes
00:15:13.31\00:15:16.44
to the value of their own soul,
that's what God is trying to do
00:15:16.44\00:15:20.65
is like not just clean this up.
He knows that we have held on
00:15:20.65\00:15:24.69
to whatever he's got us to
survive the day and it was a
00:15:24.69\00:15:28.06
lie from the enemy himself
and never helped us survive
00:15:28.06\00:15:30.63
anything in the sun. Now,
let me help you with a full
00:15:30.63\00:15:33.50
restoration of all of that.
And that's where I got into the
00:15:33.50\00:15:37.67
whole thing about stepping into
what is trauma work look like?
00:15:37.67\00:15:42.17
What is grief work? Look like
what happened to my my body and
00:15:42.17\00:15:45.97
my mind and maybe even my DNA
be because of all this trauma.
00:15:45.97\00:15:50.91
And he's got bigger than that.
00:15:50.91\00:15:52.61
>> OK, so now the boundaries
had to be put in place because
00:15:52.61\00:15:55.72
you know what? In rebuilding
a new house boundaries to that
00:15:55.72\00:16:00.09
within the height and depth
of the lost everything, his
00:16:00.09\00:16:02.16
boundaries,
00:16:02.16\00:16:03.89
the house is not a house
unless all the boundaries, not
00:16:03.89\00:16:07.20
complete. So that's that's
one of these questions here.
00:16:07.20\00:16:09.90
>> Honey, I love you. Love
you. Ask for that first, OK,
00:16:09.90\00:16:13.23
alright, this is about
boundaries. Because sometimes
00:16:13.23\00:16:15.60
you feel like your life is out
of control. How am I going to
00:16:15.60\00:16:18.31
handle this year? So what
happens when you feel like you
00:16:18.31\00:16:20.98
have to say yes to everyone's
requests and what's really have
00:16:20.98\00:16:25.01
to go through that? So, yeah,
what's really interesting about
00:16:25.01\00:16:27.68
feeling like you have to say
yes to every request is for me.
00:16:27.68\00:16:30.95
I was so desperate to be
liked that I thought saying yes,
00:16:30.95\00:16:35.36
would act Lee cause those
relationships to be powerful in
00:16:35.36\00:16:40.96
our connections to be from a
powerful. But it just made me
00:16:40.96\00:16:44.07
look like a liar, even my
child, so that in. So so if if
00:16:44.07\00:16:48.34
I have to say to myself,
somebody asked me something.
00:16:48.34\00:16:51.57
And I have to say to
myself, I want to do that,
00:16:51.57\00:16:56.81
but I don't die. And then
and to have that money or don't
00:16:56.81\00:17:00.28
tire or do I have that time
or don't I and I honestly say no
00:17:00.28\00:17:04.82
with somebody like
00:17:04.82\00:17:06.72
me and my history, it can throw
me into what's called emotional
00:17:06.72\00:17:10.43
dysregulation. I can
dysregulated I can start to
00:17:10.43\00:17:13.83
spend. I can literally tell
myself if you say no, they're
00:17:13.83\00:17:17.27
not going to like you. And
and when you talk about this
00:17:17.27\00:17:19.87
regulation, a lot of people
think that that's an emotional
00:17:19.87\00:17:22.74
response to sending the
boundary. It is not it's a
00:17:22.74\00:17:25.87
neurological response. It's
far bigger than our emotional
00:17:25.87\00:17:29.38
response. And our spin actually
has all kinds of chemicals
00:17:29.38\00:17:34.22
around it. So we ocean respond.
If you tested mice alive at
00:17:34.22\00:17:37.99
that moment, you would find
all kinds of cortisol. You would
00:17:37.99\00:17:40.29
find all kinds of stuff that
is not healthy to me. On any
00:17:40.29\00:17:43.49
level. If you take my blood
pressure, if you take my pulse,
00:17:43.49\00:17:46.70
it would be jacked up. My heart
would be racing all of that
00:17:46.70\00:17:49.90
kind of stuff. And it's
not anything that you caused by
00:17:49.90\00:17:53.57
asking me that it's not
anything I caused by. I'm
00:17:53.57\00:17:56.94
feeling stressed. It's
something that was just
00:17:56.94\00:17:59.27
ingrained in me from childhood
for years and years and years
00:17:59.27\00:18:03.18
of that dysregulation. If I
wrote something at that moment,
00:18:03.18\00:18:07.42
my handwriting would look
different when you want to see
00:18:07.42\00:18:10.49
if you emotionally dysregulated
just write something and you
00:18:10.49\00:18:13.76
will say, well, you know, if
I was telling on your body is
00:18:13.76\00:18:16.79
telling us that the lion.
So and so when you actually say
00:18:16.79\00:18:20.70
to yourself, OK, how do I learn
to set boundaries? Because it's
00:18:20.70\00:18:24.60
a learned response and how I
learned to take care of myself
00:18:24.60\00:18:28.34
and start slow cause nobody
around you. If you pick people
00:18:28.34\00:18:31.77
around you that and
respond to you showing up
00:18:31.77\00:18:34.78
as a liar, we are showing
up and not in your own skin.
00:18:34.78\00:18:38.58
You showing up in just people
pleasing everybody. The people
00:18:38.58\00:18:41.78
that are around you are
not going to be as healthy and
00:18:41.78\00:18:44.79
they're not going to want you
to set any boundaries because
00:18:44.79\00:18:46.96
it doesn't work for them.
00:18:46.96\00:18:48.16
>> Sherry, you just have
something so powerful. And and
00:18:48.16\00:18:50.53
you know, I'm a camel the now
I'm I'm older than I was last
00:18:50.53\00:18:53.66
year. That's
just leave it there.
00:18:53.66\00:18:55.20
But here's the thing that a
lot of people don't realize.
00:18:55.20\00:18:57.63
This is huge. This boundary.
So vitally important because
00:18:57.63\00:19:00.24
some people that they play the
stories now watches between the
00:19:00.24\00:19:03.71
question and your
answer. You have taken you have
00:19:03.71\00:19:07.08
literally as
quickly as your brain works
00:19:07.08\00:19:10.21
cycle analyzed. What will
happen if that person here is a
00:19:10.21\00:19:14.25
no from you or if they
hear? Yes, when you and the more
00:19:14.25\00:19:17.19
people in that circle, the more
people you have cycle analyzed
00:19:17.19\00:19:20.66
and you come down to the place
where you realize if I don't
00:19:20.66\00:19:23.69
say what all these
people want to hear,
00:19:23.69\00:19:26.70
they won't like me buy it
00:19:26.70\00:19:29.03
so I can do that. And people
that live their lives to be
00:19:29.03\00:19:32.37
light are in jail.
00:19:32.37\00:19:34.74
Absolutely. So I've told
that I've told this to my
00:19:34.74\00:19:37.24
congregation. I say I'm no
longer preach sermons to be
00:19:37.24\00:19:40.74
liked and then I no longer
need to hear. That was a good
00:19:40.74\00:19:44.48
message. I just want to
know why do cause? Well, because
00:19:44.48\00:19:47.88
somebody asked me on the couple
years ago, I U he's staying out
00:19:47.88\00:19:51.72
of trouble. I said no wash
washed. I geez, this is haha.
00:19:51.72\00:19:55.92
I was always in trouble.
00:19:55.92\00:19:57.53
And unlike was said by the
former senator that passed when
00:19:57.53\00:20:00.96
Congress he says up,
00:20:00.96\00:20:02.76
if you in trouble being
good while it was being honest,
00:20:02.76\00:20:06.10
yeah. For being who you are
called to be the sole saying
00:20:06.10\00:20:09.97
yes, saying no.
00:20:09.97\00:20:12.77
He's just say yes.
00:20:12.77\00:20:14.38
When yes is the right answer
00:20:14.38\00:20:16.75
and no one knows it is dry.
00:20:16.75\00:20:19.35
>> What I didn't know when
I started to set boundaries is
00:20:19.35\00:20:22.88
that you will lose a lot of
people around you. And and that
00:20:22.88\00:20:26.32
was really difficult to me
because I never had anyone.
00:20:26.32\00:20:29.59
I'm in my circle. And you know,
and so now that I have a circle
00:20:29.59\00:20:34.30
that I created with this lie
and and now I'm gonna have to
00:20:34.30\00:20:38.63
and I don't have to say no to
everything because I don't want
00:20:38.63\00:20:40.67
to say no to everything.
But but when you start saying
00:20:40.67\00:20:43.24
no, they said you lose 80 to
90% of the people that you have
00:20:43.24\00:20:46.84
put in her article and to me,
I thought, oh, no, the kid in me
00:20:46.84\00:20:50.71
can't stand that. There was so
wrong reasons. Yeah, they were
00:20:50.71\00:20:53.78
there for the wrong reason.
And their agenda is not because
00:20:53.78\00:20:57.59
they choose you is because
you work for them. And so so
00:20:57.59\00:21:01.66
literally being able to say is
that that I need people around
00:21:01.66\00:21:05.43
me and that when we see we
wrote a program here when we
00:21:05.43\00:21:08.63
did celebrating life in
recovery a 14 week program to
00:21:08.63\00:21:11.43
help you connect with others.
And so literally put people
00:21:11.43\00:21:14.87
around you that you can connect
honestly with that is going to
00:21:14.87\00:21:18.37
reaffirm your
00:21:18.37\00:21:20.14
person. Hood. Yes. Used to
be with you. Laugh with you.
00:21:20.14\00:21:24.75
I have people that I go
out paddle boarding with in
00:21:24.75\00:21:27.75
kayaking with and spending
the weekend with and and to win.
00:21:27.75\00:21:31.22
I have to do a hard discussion
or have that hard conversation
00:21:31.22\00:21:35.02
in set boundaries. I will call
the people that I love and say
00:21:35.02\00:21:38.66
this is difficult for me and
they'll process out. What are
00:21:38.66\00:21:41.80
you afraid of what's happening?
And when I do said a boundary
00:21:41.80\00:21:45.33
is I I don't set a boundary
lightly, but I set boundaries
00:21:45.33\00:21:48.44
when I need to and I show
up authentically as myself.
00:21:48.44\00:21:52.64
And you know what I found
out this is so weird and please
00:21:52.64\00:21:55.11
don't take this in a way that
is anyway. But what I'm trying
00:21:55.11\00:21:59.28
to say, yes, I like who I am
when I show up. Yeah, I've not
00:21:59.28\00:22:03.85
done that. We I'd like who
am I show up and I feel solid.
00:22:03.85\00:22:08.46
I I feel like I don't have
to prove anything until I can
00:22:08.46\00:22:11.49
fully see you and be concerned
about you. I can laugh at your
00:22:11.49\00:22:15.30
successes and your your journey
and I can just enjoy all of
00:22:15.30\00:22:19.07
that because I'm not trying
to do anything. Can I'm just
00:22:19.07\00:22:22.17
allowing my friends to
show up in me to show up to your
00:22:22.17\00:22:25.74
readers. Funny. Yeah, 20
said on this faithful, all the
00:22:25.74\00:22:29.68
wounds of of friend, but the
cases of an enemy on deceitful.
00:22:29.68\00:22:34.45
And that's what we're talking
about. And that's exactly
00:22:34.45\00:22:36.52
right. And Jeanne, I like when
somebody tells me the truth,
00:22:36.52\00:22:39.89
you have something it he's
not just that. You tell me about
00:22:39.89\00:22:43.69
it.
00:22:43.69\00:22:44.99
Yeah, go ahead of time.
And what I've got to say and is
00:22:44.99\00:22:47.56
that that's so powerful and
into may have known you for a
00:22:47.56\00:22:51.17
long time and you are amazing
to hang our hat. So it is it is
00:22:51.17\00:22:55.50
very interesting to hang out
with you. But when we hang out
00:22:55.50\00:22:59.47
with each other and we hang out
with each other and we forget,
00:22:59.47\00:23:03.68
we forget, let God help you to
just show up, right? Don't have
00:23:03.68\00:23:08.08
an agenda. Just show up next in
if I say something to you like,
00:23:08.08\00:23:11.59
you know, like and yeah,
I'm going over to Europe and I'm
00:23:11.59\00:23:16.36
going to do in our program over
there which I am in May how to
00:23:16.36\00:23:19.66
do in our program over there.
Would you come with me? Sure.
00:23:19.66\00:23:25.13
Let's go. Oh, yeah. We said
you couldn't. You would say what
00:23:25.13\00:23:30.57
are the dates might? How much
is it and you say she that's
00:23:30.57\00:23:34.58
ridiculous. I can't do that.
And we could laugh a bit of
00:23:34.58\00:23:37.71
coal mine and I go all the
day's over right? To be honest
00:23:37.71\00:23:40.88
about to be okay. Now
that another one, Nashua.
00:23:40.88\00:23:43.85
>> These these are questions
that you need to do an entire
00:23:43.85\00:23:46.19
seminar at a church for just
these questions here. But here
00:23:46.19\00:23:48.42
he's he's he's at that
time. Do you find yourself are
00:23:48.42\00:23:52.33
readily taking responsibility
for others, feelings and
00:23:52.33\00:23:55.80
problems this
people out there that do?
00:23:55.80\00:23:58.57
>> Isn't that it's hard.
It's but I if I wish we could
00:23:58.57\00:24:02.47
just say to anybody watching
the program might now raise
00:24:02.47\00:24:05.57
your hand hands all over the
world to try it. Because do you
00:24:05.57\00:24:10.48
find yourself? Not only
will I make sure that my answer
00:24:10.48\00:24:13.98
doesn't cause you any stress,
but I will take responsibility
00:24:13.98\00:24:17.49
for anything. You feel about
that and it's not mine to take.
00:24:17.49\00:24:21.96
If you turn around and you say
something poor about because of
00:24:21.96\00:24:25.43
the boundary. I said that's not
even mine. My responsibility.
00:24:25.43\00:24:29.10
It's none of my business.
What you say. It doesn't change
00:24:29.10\00:24:32.17
a thing about who I
am. And I used to take full
00:24:32.17\00:24:34.94
responsibility for all of that.
Right? And that's a horrible
00:24:34.94\00:24:38.51
way to live in. It's
exhausting and I can't show up
00:24:38.51\00:24:42.51
authentically ever. And so
being able to convince somebody
00:24:42.51\00:24:46.35
that for one, you can't be
responsible. If I say something
00:24:46.35\00:24:50.05
that I need to say to you,
because every time you borrow
00:24:50.05\00:24:52.89
my car, you bring it back
with no gas. And I just I'm so
00:24:52.89\00:24:56.99
resentful about that until next
Uber. And I don't mind because
00:24:56.99\00:25:00.40
I love you. You are my friend.
But fill it up, right? Yeah,
00:25:00.40\00:25:04.27
he's just saying. So if someone
says never borrow your car
00:25:04.27\00:25:07.67
again, then then that she all
right. But you but Co dependent
00:25:07.67\00:25:11.74
will say no, no, I'm sorry,
let me fix it. And they'll back
00:25:11.74\00:25:15.71
paddle that but don't back
pedal. It did be honest with
00:25:15.71\00:25:19.01
some buddies and make sure
you be honest with something in
00:25:19.01\00:25:21.85
front of that. You know that I
love you. You know that you are
00:25:21.85\00:25:25.12
my fries and I don't mind any
of this. But what I do resent
00:25:25.12\00:25:28.72
is having to then go to the
gas station. So it's like being
00:25:28.72\00:25:32.06
able to be
00:25:32.06\00:25:34.46
confront a in a way that
honest and still value the
00:25:34.46\00:25:39.03
friendships. If that
person says, you know what, I'm
00:25:39.03\00:25:42.27
offended by what you said and I
do want to be a friend anymore.
00:25:42.27\00:25:45.54
You have to say, OK, and
you have to then grieve, et.
00:25:45.54\00:25:49.04
I can say, OK, pretend it
didn't hurt. I can walk into
00:25:49.04\00:25:52.11
the other room and cry
like a baby and I should because
00:25:52.11\00:25:55.62
losing friends for whatever
reason this ad. But I can't not
00:25:55.62\00:26:00.19
say it.
00:26:00.19\00:26:01.66
>> Because it changes who I
am in a way that I'm not willing
00:26:01.66\00:26:03.59
to do anymore. Thank you
for saying that street because a
00:26:03.59\00:26:05.89
lot of people say what are
the people want to hear? Because
00:26:05.89\00:26:09.93
they have some kind of I
think you said earlier, people
00:26:09.93\00:26:13.67
placing quality, but it's not
a quality. It's a it's what I
00:26:13.67\00:26:17.64
call. It's it's incarceration,
hale and hearty waited because
00:26:17.64\00:26:22.74
they have not met themselves
yet human and until they and
00:26:22.74\00:26:25.65
they're afraid to meet
themselves, right. So the worst
00:26:25.65\00:26:29.18
thing is to have 5 people
that have different 5 different
00:26:29.18\00:26:31.65
opinions and you in the middle
and have to be responsible for
00:26:31.65\00:26:34.39
everybody else's feelings.
It gets overwhelming. You just
00:26:34.39\00:26:37.23
you can't deal with that
situation. That's the next
00:26:37.23\00:26:39.43
question because so much here.
00:26:39.43\00:26:41.86
>> All the fine. Just so fun.
I guess that this harm this one
00:26:41.86\00:26:45.40
have you have to be focused
on so much being loving and
00:26:45.40\00:26:49.57
unselfish,
00:26:49.57\00:26:51.01
but you forgotten you
don't limit limitations rule.
00:26:51.01\00:26:57.21
>> You know you I can tell
by the look on your face and you
00:26:57.21\00:27:00.38
and I can talk about that for
all types salute Lee, so have I
00:27:00.38\00:27:04.09
I forgot my own limitations.
Have I forgot my own value?
00:27:04.09\00:27:08.99
Have I
00:27:08.99\00:27:10.29
maybe even never understood
that. Never explored it.
00:27:10.29\00:27:13.63
And so I think even as we going
to set boundaries as we going
00:27:13.63\00:27:16.77
to do that kind of journey
is a reason you do it with other
00:27:16.77\00:27:20.27
people like we would
never meant to do any of this by
00:27:20.27\00:27:23.74
yourself and got a dog for sake
meeting together. I think it's
00:27:23.74\00:27:27.94
only once a week at church.
I know know that every single
00:27:27.94\00:27:31.95
issue is hang out with each
other. Confess your sins one to
00:27:31.95\00:27:35.22
another, pray for each other
so that you may be healed. It's
00:27:35.22\00:27:38.42
all of that stuff. And so if
I'm going to, if I'm going to
00:27:38.42\00:27:41.39
step into setting limits,
understanding what that means
00:27:41.39\00:27:47.20
is, first of all, I have
to know what they are like.
00:27:47.20\00:27:49.36
What are my limit? Who is this
person? I used to feel like if
00:27:49.36\00:27:53.47
I walk by somebody to to find
us, I would disappear was like
00:27:53.47\00:27:57.24
missed. I wasn't solid
enough to actually even do that.
00:27:57.24\00:28:01.64
And then there's a there's a
this a book that I love and in
00:28:01.64\00:28:06.21
in in it's a Cs Lewis book
on the Gray Divorce. And in that
00:28:06.21\00:28:11.42
book he does this this and
allergy about have and then how
00:28:11.42\00:28:16.79
and and and spiritual growth.
And he starts out with even the
00:28:16.79\00:28:20.80
smallest souvenir from
h*** will keep you from heaven,
00:28:20.80\00:28:23.53
which got my attention. You
can't take all luggage with you
00:28:23.53\00:28:26.10
on every trip to the small, a
souvenir. And so then and then
00:28:26.10\00:28:30.07
he does this group of people
that are waiting for a bus and
00:28:30.07\00:28:33.27
the bus is going to take them
to heaven, right? And so it's
00:28:33.27\00:28:38.08
just an analogy. It's the
story. So they're waiting.
00:28:38.08\00:28:40.92
And all the sudden they go
from this grey existence to this
00:28:40.92\00:28:43.59
color and all this kind of
soften, then they they the bus
00:28:43.59\00:28:47.36
stops and it's beautiful
and there are angels waiting for
00:28:47.36\00:28:50.69
them. Each of them has their
angel. That knows them really
00:28:50.69\00:28:53.60
was this woman looks at her
angel, like I think that angels
00:28:53.60\00:28:57.37
coming on to me and she reaches
in her bag and with the Angeles
00:28:57.37\00:29:01.47
thinking is and she looks
terrible. She's like, but skin
00:29:01.47\00:29:05.07
and bones like she
almost didn't make it, you know,
00:29:05.07\00:29:08.54
and really wanted to nurture
her and her journey. But she
00:29:08.54\00:29:11.25
pulls out her lipstick and
put some lipstick on initial
00:29:11.25\00:29:14.22
support. FedEX scene that we
are looking at outwardly who we
00:29:14.22\00:29:18.32
are rather than stepping in
to a real life. And so she gets
00:29:18.32\00:29:23.19
off the bus and she starts
screaming, screaming, like
00:29:23.19\00:29:27.76
nobody would told me it would
hurt to be here. I nobody told
00:29:27.76\00:29:32.43
me. And and what the story says
is that if we can show up to
00:29:32.43\00:29:37.27
heaven
00:29:37.27\00:29:38.47
in our state, we are not
real enough to even walk on the
00:29:38.47\00:29:41.61
grass yet. And our healing
journey is about becoming
00:29:41.61\00:29:45.78
reeling off to walk on the
grass. And so she decides to
00:29:45.78\00:29:49.58
get back on the bus and go
home. But that hit me so hard
00:29:49.58\00:29:52.79
is like setting boundaries and
finding out what our limits are
00:29:52.79\00:29:56.42
and who we are in Christ
and what our journey is. Well,
00:29:56.42\00:29:59.79
I never hung a picture on
my wall until I was in my 30's
00:29:59.79\00:30:03.50
because I didn't trust my own
case. I didn't I wouldn't all
00:30:03.50\00:30:06.70
pick a color and and do any of
that kind of stuff. My trump in
00:30:06.70\00:30:10.41
a feud with all of that, right?
And so I've got to find out.
00:30:10.41\00:30:14.31
I don't even at that time I
00:30:14.31\00:30:16.98
I don't even know if you
said what's your favorite color?
00:30:16.98\00:30:19.88
I would say your favorite
color, obviously. What Yahoo
00:30:19.88\00:30:24.42
question with a question. Yeah.
00:30:24.42\00:30:25.59
>> And I tell people about
that. If somebody says and I
00:30:25.59\00:30:27.52
had a couple sitting before
me and said next time given Matt
00:30:27.52\00:30:30.99
Matt given counseling. And
so when you're done, you know,
00:30:30.99\00:30:34.46
take your fiance, 2
restaurants. So I said, what
00:30:34.46\00:30:37.57
restaurant do you like to go
to the mask and the wife to be?
00:30:37.57\00:30:40.84
She has a fiance him. In fact,
what? What rest what would you
00:30:40.84\00:30:43.87
like? I said stop right
there. Yes, stop it there.
00:30:43.87\00:30:47.21
He just asked you sorry he has
to. What restaurant do you like
00:30:47.21\00:30:50.05
to go in? You asked him
what the restaurant would you
00:30:50.05\00:30:51.75
prefer? I said 5 years from now
you can wake up and realize you
00:30:51.75\00:30:55.18
didn't. You didn't
even though the sky
00:30:55.18\00:30:57.35
and he never got to know you
because he wants to know foods
00:30:57.35\00:30:59.52
you like and you want to
00:30:59.52\00:31:01.02
you prefer instead of answering
that question about what you
00:31:01.02\00:31:04.23
like. You're
deferring your likes.
00:31:04.23\00:31:06.80
>> To his legs and let you just
you just let yourself in last
00:31:06.80\00:31:10.13
out was a red flag for a
narcissistic relationship.
00:31:10.13\00:31:13.20
Oh, that's a whole nother thing
is it's if somebody to Lee is
00:31:13.20\00:31:16.91
asking new just as a set up
to get back what they wanted.
00:31:16.91\00:31:22.21
Most Co dependence will
pick relationships like that.
00:31:22.21\00:31:25.35
We don't want to make the
decision. We want someone else
00:31:25.35\00:31:28.52
to make the decision which puts
us on dangerous ground. Yes.
00:31:28.52\00:31:31.79
And then we want to blame the
other person when God says no,
00:31:31.79\00:31:34.96
no, no. You felt safety in not
putting yourself out there at
00:31:34.96\00:31:40.36
any level and letting someone
else make those decisions.
00:31:40.36\00:31:44.00
And so when I started to
feel less safe in doing that and
00:31:44.00\00:31:47.74
asking myself, what
00:31:47.74\00:31:50.34
do you want to eat?
00:31:50.34\00:31:52.41
That's a part of the first part
of knowing the limits to sign
00:31:52.41\00:31:56.11
is finding out. What are the
limits? What are your limits?
00:31:56.11\00:31:59.15
What are your desires? What are
we got says I'll give you this
00:31:59.15\00:32:02.35
is Ayers of your heart. And
we've never been explored what
00:32:02.35\00:32:05.39
those are. But even God himself
says, you know, kenley's hang
00:32:05.39\00:32:09.72
out a little bit. He shared
this with me. And so it is a
00:32:09.72\00:32:13.50
really weird thing about
setting boundaries. We're
00:32:13.50\00:32:15.93
learning about about
boundaries, learning about
00:32:15.93\00:32:17.93
recovery, learning about
coming out of trauma is we are
00:32:17.93\00:32:21.64
learning so much about who we
are and one day you wake up in
00:32:21.64\00:32:26.37
your own skin full of joy
and that Tex you that the joy of
00:32:26.37\00:32:31.11
the Lord is your strength
will finally make sense.
00:32:31.11\00:32:33.65
>> I know I know what
you're saying, obviously, really
00:32:33.65\00:32:36.25
because sometimes a and I want
to set this up. Some ask you
00:32:36.25\00:32:40.19
the question.
00:32:40.19\00:32:41.29
Sometimes people feel use
myself as to sometimes people
00:32:41.29\00:32:44.49
feel person.
00:32:44.49\00:32:45.79
When you set a limit of the
people, things that you don't
00:32:45.79\00:32:48.33
like them when in fact saying
no, not right now he's in fact
00:32:48.33\00:32:52.63
what you should say. Yes,
people have asked me to do
00:32:52.63\00:32:55.57
certain things I set out
overnight right now. I can do
00:32:55.57\00:32:58.51
right now. Yeah, later on
and they think on anyone to help
00:32:58.51\00:33:01.44
me,
00:33:01.44\00:33:02.98
no, I just told you I don't.
I'm not going help. You just
00:33:02.98\00:33:04.45
said not right now. Why do
people feel that they have to
00:33:04.45\00:33:07.28
say yes. So can you set limits
and still be a loving person?
00:33:07.28\00:33:11.62
>> Yes, but but what's really
crazy about that is the entire
00:33:11.62\00:33:16.12
world will tell, you know,
00:33:16.12\00:33:18.09
Satan himself will tell,
you know, when when the when the
00:33:18.09\00:33:21.23
Bible says fight against
the schemes of the enemy because
00:33:21.23\00:33:23.60
the schemes of the enemy is
I want you overburdened. I want
00:33:23.60\00:33:26.70
you discouraged. I want you not
to show up as yourself. I want
00:33:26.70\00:33:29.97
you not to be on this with
what you feel and even what your
00:33:29.97\00:33:32.61
time management looks like.
I want you just to be drowning
00:33:32.61\00:33:36.58
in all of this. People pleasing
stuff. All of this stuff in God
00:33:36.58\00:33:40.82
says no, no, no.
00:33:40.82\00:33:42.82
I even went away in prey.
00:33:42.82\00:33:44.95
I took off for entire night.
I literally said I need to back
00:33:44.95\00:33:48.42
away right now because he
didn't say no to ministry.
00:33:48.42\00:33:52.83
He didn't even say no to
the cross, but he took care of
00:33:52.83\00:33:55.86
himself and he didn't. He
didn't say yes, when yes was
00:33:55.86\00:34:00.57
not the right. No night and
not the right response. Not even
00:34:00.57\00:34:04.24
the right. And to the response
that I give like people that
00:34:04.24\00:34:07.41
know me now, I'm no me that that
00:34:07.41\00:34:11.65
then I would be real clear with
you and not in a mean way at
00:34:11.65\00:34:15.45
all because I love the people
in my life right then. And I'll
00:34:15.45\00:34:19.12
just say, and then I'm a, you
know, do want to go skydiving
00:34:19.12\00:34:24.06
and like, yeah, I know. I would
say, yeah, that's it. And I
00:34:24.06\00:34:31.47
want to opt out of this half.
You know? So I would say no,
00:34:31.47\00:34:35.17
not because I don't
think you're funny and fun and
00:34:35.17\00:34:38.01
adventurous, but unite
just I just I'm not in my mind.
00:34:38.01\00:34:42.81
I'll be right with you.
00:34:42.81\00:34:44.01
>> All right. But I say I'm not
giving the devil handy option,
00:34:44.01\00:34:47.65
Lou. And this is all and
sabia work, you know, the bridge
00:34:47.65\00:34:52.32
between Zambia and Zimbabwe.
So the sky invites me to go
00:34:52.32\00:34:55.29
bungee jumping with him in
a country where they have no
00:34:55.29\00:34:57.16
insurance. You die, you die.
Yeah. Your body just votes on
00:34:57.16\00:34:59.96
the so it says a pay. If you
go ahead and doing that, he says
00:34:59.96\00:35:05.30
so
00:35:05.30\00:35:06.37
it ticks 100 foot, drop
600 foot drop over 1100 foot.
00:35:06.37\00:35:10.84
Dive down to this empty river.
Victoria falls right there
00:35:10.84\00:35:15.28
and I said I'm not doing that.
00:35:15.28\00:35:17.18
>> So I pay for us. It is not
the cost. I just I'm not doing
00:35:17.18\00:35:21.22
that. But even the next thing
that a lot of people will say,
00:35:21.22\00:35:24.59
are you chicken out? You
don't think that it's not a fan,
00:35:24.59\00:35:27.06
a wounded early, just setting
a boundary just Cessna. I took a
00:35:27.06\00:35:30.73
breath. I thought about that.
And I just have no interest and
00:35:30.73\00:35:34.50
I don't need to explain myself
further. So what happened?
00:35:34.50\00:35:37.53
And we set boundaries and
we don't know our own limits.
00:35:37.53\00:35:39.90
Is we over? Explain. We talked
more than we need to and we
00:35:39.90\00:35:43.97
don't believe that. Yes or
no is enough. And when the Bible
00:35:43.97\00:35:46.91
says let your yes
P s I know we know
00:35:46.91\00:35:51.41
someone is upset by a
boundary spy without your
00:35:51.41\00:35:54.62
responsibility. That's what
I would ask myself. Is it my
00:35:54.62\00:35:57.92
responsibility of how
you respond to that boundary?
00:35:57.92\00:36:01.86
It is not. It's really none
of my business. What if they
00:36:01.86\00:36:05.43
scream and yell what if they
throw a chair? What if they do
00:36:05.43\00:36:08.03
whatever that all of that is
not my issue. And I know it was
00:36:08.03\00:36:13.00
not my intention to get you up.
Said it was not my intention to
00:36:13.00\00:36:17.87
start all this drama. But if
your trauma cause you to Oregon
00:36:17.87\00:36:22.28
to somebody because of
they said the boundary on you,
00:36:22.28\00:36:25.05
please look into that. And I
ca probably wouldn't say that at
00:36:25.05\00:36:27.88
that moment.
00:36:27.88\00:36:29.05
>> Yeah, I would say that the
but you put exactly by setting
00:36:29.05\00:36:32.12
a boundary.
00:36:32.12\00:36:33.49
You're letting them know that
whatever response you get from
00:36:33.49\00:36:36.83
them,
00:36:36.83\00:36:37.89
you didn't cause that a
man. That's what people have to
00:36:37.89\00:36:40.36
understand. We're so concerned
about how people may feel if we
00:36:40.36\00:36:45.37
don't acquiesce Aubrey. Yeah,
but take their position that we
00:36:45.37\00:36:49.90
sometimes lose ourselves and
we go home and all those toxic
00:36:49.90\00:36:53.48
things out. We stopped feeling
they did. We feel drained.
00:36:53.48\00:36:56.68
We exhale, we inhale. We
fall down. The country can do
00:36:56.68\00:36:59.51
anything because we've lost SOS
in that moment. When you read
00:36:59.51\00:37:02.18
the when you really want to be
honest, yes, we have too afraid
00:37:02.18\00:37:05.82
to be an even.
00:37:05.82\00:37:07.02
>> If I'm not for the bounties,
if I if I end up home and I'm
00:37:07.02\00:37:10.46
exhausted, I'm going to escape
into something. I'm going to
00:37:10.46\00:37:13.66
grab a gallon of ice
cream. I'm gonna turn the TV on.
00:37:13.66\00:37:17.20
I'm the do whatever I
can to disconnect from the
00:37:17.20\00:37:20.94
uncomfortable feelings of
the lies. And I just told myself
00:37:20.94\00:37:24.51
about my right to set a
boundary as I'm a I'm in the
00:37:24.51\00:37:27.41
escape. And so if I want to
stop escaping myself, I need to
00:37:27.41\00:37:31.11
show up and be authentic and
I don't want to do that. Some
00:37:31.11\00:37:34.38
people do it aggressively.
You don't need to do it
00:37:34.38\00:37:36.42
aggressively. Thank you.
Everybody has a right to just
00:37:36.42\00:37:39.82
say yes or no. Everybody has
a right. And what I found out is
00:37:39.82\00:37:44.53
that all the sudden
00:37:44.53\00:37:46.53
people are choosing to
sit next to me in friendship
00:37:46.53\00:37:51.97
that value my showing up
offensively. And so you lose
00:37:51.97\00:37:56.57
some people, but you'll
gain some people and more
00:37:56.57\00:37:59.74
importantly, you will gain
yourself. You literally start
00:37:59.74\00:38:04.21
to saying that you are always
enough. I am enough and I've
00:38:04.21\00:38:08.18
always been enough
and I just didn't know it.
00:38:08.18\00:38:13.05
>> Before we ask the next
question, I want to thank you
00:38:13.05\00:38:15.19
for that. Because I know I
have said that the that the
00:38:15.19\00:38:17.86
listeners and viewers of
the problem, I know there are
00:38:17.86\00:38:19.43
listening carefully.
People need to know that it's OK
00:38:19.43\00:38:25.63
to set boundaries and not feel
the need to just always Lucia
00:38:25.63\00:38:29.50
Self. And that's what I want
to let you know, because some of
00:38:29.50\00:38:33.34
you are understanding exactly
what she is saying. But all
00:38:33.34\00:38:37.61
that psychological chemical
reaction to how you feel is is
00:38:37.61\00:38:41.32
interrupting. Why?
00:38:41.32\00:38:43.35
>> Interrupting the answer
that you want to give payments.
00:38:43.35\00:38:45.89
So when do emotionally
dysregulated. So let's say at a
00:38:45.89\00:38:49.09
boundary and I emotionally
dysregulated and I am spending
00:38:49.09\00:38:52.89
and all the sudden I feel
like every my pulse is going up.
00:38:52.89\00:38:56.73
My handwriting is dysregulated
I I I feel so much stress.
00:38:56.73\00:39:00.34
I don't know even how to do the
next sentence or conversation
00:39:00.34\00:39:04.07
because when we emotionally
dysregulated everything,
00:39:04.07\00:39:07.18
it's everything changes
and I can play it off like it.
00:39:07.18\00:39:10.35
I can literally do the next
thing. But I don't it's tough
00:39:10.35\00:39:15.05
work, right? So when I mostly
just regulate, there's things
00:39:15.05\00:39:18.39
that you can do to get yourself
back into your skin in the
00:39:18.39\00:39:22.42
first thing, feel
your feet on the ground.
00:39:22.42\00:39:26.29
But in my feet feel like right
now as it hits this chair or
00:39:26.29\00:39:29.33
the ground. Yeah, right.
And pay attention to that.
00:39:29.33\00:39:32.37
So now I'm out of the spin.
Yes. What is your bottom feel
00:39:32.37\00:39:36.44
like sitting on this chair?
But does it feel like and you
00:39:36.44\00:39:39.34
just start to actually say
become conscious? Yeah, I'm
00:39:39.34\00:39:43.01
going to become conscious
of the reality here. Find
00:39:43.01\00:39:46.75
something in the room to
look at like there's a beautiful
00:39:46.75\00:39:49.68
picture of Jesus in the
background holding a black
00:39:49.68\00:39:52.45
lamb. My favorite picture
of anybody ever want to give me
00:39:52.45\00:39:55.49
that I needed yet my favorite
picture. So look at something
00:39:55.49\00:40:00.03
that will get your mind off.
Put. Take a drink few with the
00:40:00.03\00:40:04.10
water. Feels like on your
mouth by smell something, say
00:40:04.10\00:40:08.00
something. Look at something,
feel something and you start to
00:40:08.00\00:40:12.01
get back in your own skin and
then I can step in and say the
00:40:12.01\00:40:15.04
next thing but don't try to set
any more anything else. You are
00:40:15.04\00:40:19.35
not obligated to stay
in the conversation. If you
00:40:19.35\00:40:22.18
emotionally, I can say, you
know what can you hold that?
00:40:22.18\00:40:26.05
I'll be back in 15 minutes.
I'm going to take a walk and
00:40:26.05\00:40:29.36
somebody says you don't you
don't know my husband. I don't
00:40:29.36\00:40:32.23
have to know your husband.
I I want to know you. Yeah.
00:40:32.23\00:40:34.83
And do you feel like you
have the right to say right now?
00:40:34.83\00:40:38.83
I cannot hear you. I'm going
to take a walk and I'll be right
00:40:38.83\00:40:42.40
back. Like what you're
saying, John, I'm not saying no,
00:40:42.40\00:40:45.37
I'm not. And I won't be in the
conversation that I cannot do
00:40:45.37\00:40:48.81
it right now. I
need to take a breath.
00:40:48.81\00:40:50.91
>> What I'd done that I've
done that effectively and some
00:40:50.91\00:40:53.82
people have misinterpreted that
like, you know, you don't help
00:40:53.82\00:40:56.55
me. And I said, no, not right.
Now later, I'll be I'll give
00:40:56.55\00:41:00.42
you my full attention, but
I need to get what I'm doing
00:41:00.42\00:41:03.02
right now. My full attention.
And this is what I want.
00:41:03.02\00:41:05.36
You know, that's when
you get to that plan live.
00:41:05.36\00:41:08.43
You begin to be free. A man
whom I wish you could you could
00:41:08.43\00:41:11.97
say this, honey, I said
00:41:11.97\00:41:13.97
a people don't have to agree
with me. So to have the right
00:41:13.97\00:41:16.94
to my opinion that you have the
right to my conclusion, even if
00:41:16.94\00:41:20.18
my opinion, it's not based on
a set of facts. It's my opinion.
00:41:20.18\00:41:23.81
Yeah. So don't try to change
it because it's my opinion.
00:41:23.81\00:41:27.45
Yeah. But if what I say
is based on my own research,
00:41:27.45\00:41:30.75
don't try to undo my research
with your research because the
00:41:30.75\00:41:33.46
bottom line is this is
my research, cement Sabbath.
00:41:33.46\00:41:36.96
Musselman said the last,
OK, Raiders of the lost art of
00:41:36.96\00:41:41.30
thinking.
00:41:41.30\00:41:42.83
>> They haven't Raiders of
the Lost Ark. I think, you know,
00:41:42.83\00:41:45.30
I'm still going to be that, OK?
So I mean on that's that's the
00:41:45.30\00:41:48.94
city, even for any of that when
when the them I think the devil
00:41:48.94\00:41:53.78
himself made us feel like that.
There are certain things that
00:41:53.78\00:41:58.28
if I quit, then I've arrived,
right. And in like I said,
00:41:58.28\00:42:03.99
it's just the ticket to the
movie. It's just a ticket to
00:42:03.99\00:42:06.79
get into your life is quitting.
Everything else is part of the
00:42:06.79\00:42:10.19
transformation that uses
his promise to said I will leave
00:42:10.19\00:42:14.00
every day. I will renew
your thinking every day. I will
00:42:14.00\00:42:17.87
challenge your belief
systems and some of your belief
00:42:17.87\00:42:21.10
systems. God himself will
celebrate because they're so
00:42:21.10\00:42:23.94
good. Some of your
relationships are so good,
00:42:23.94\00:42:26.94
but some of them have to
be challenged and a half now.
00:42:26.94\00:42:30.18
And it has great work that
comes with it. It has. It has,
00:42:30.18\00:42:34.18
you know, you really have to
say, OK, God, I'm going to stop
00:42:34.18\00:42:37.95
fighting you on this. Yes, I'm
John. You are nice and you you
00:42:37.95\00:42:42.49
explain to somebody why you set
the boundary. We don't have to
00:42:42.49\00:42:46.53
not all. Actually, I
don't think a good idea to say
00:42:46.53\00:42:49.06
because it is because
sometimes setting a boundary
00:42:49.06\00:42:52.70
no matter how you explain
it, if the person has an agenda,
00:42:52.70\00:42:56.77
your explanations are going to
do. No good at also said in the
00:42:56.77\00:43:00.31
boundary is important for you
and for them. And if you check
00:43:00.31\00:43:04.48
your heart and you do
it because this truly is a
00:43:04.48\00:43:07.08
boundary for you, this is truly
the kind of saying to do or the
00:43:07.08\00:43:10.65
most important thing. You
know, your time constraint to
00:43:10.65\00:43:13.12
whatever is said it in,
don't over. Explain or explain.
00:43:13.12\00:43:16.93
There's there's a new thing
called the apartment triangle
00:43:16.93\00:43:20.96
to try and go at top is a
persecutor rescuer and victim.
00:43:20.96\00:43:25.87
And so when we don't know how
to take care of ourselves and
00:43:25.87\00:43:29.80
to set boundaries is that
we live on this triangle. I
00:43:29.80\00:43:32.67
doesn't matter where we're
at on the triangle where either
00:43:32.67\00:43:35.54
you're first getting because
we're angry at somebody or were
00:43:35.54\00:43:37.91
victims are rescuing. But when
God says, hey, how about get
00:43:37.91\00:43:42.18
off the triangle high and it's
our choice to get off at any
00:43:42.18\00:43:46.62
time. You find yourself back
on the triangle as you take a
00:43:46.62\00:43:49.66
breath, don't be rate yourself
to step off. I'm pretty soon
00:43:49.66\00:43:54.20
you'll find that you're on
the triangle less and less and
00:43:54.20\00:43:56.70
less. And you're showing up
authentically as yourself not
00:43:56.70\00:44:00.40
rescuing anybody else. That
plan a victim and definitely
00:44:00.40\00:44:03.97
not persecuting anyone because
00:44:03.97\00:44:06.81
you're free. And that's what
you talked about a lot, John,
00:44:06.81\00:44:09.38
is that we end up being
free and in our own skin and
00:44:09.38\00:44:13.45
celebrating life beyond what
Trump has done. So forgiveness
00:44:13.45\00:44:17.75
is a huge thing. We know it
just father has done here and
00:44:17.75\00:44:21.39
whether you have you forgiven
them. You know, forgiveness is
00:44:21.39\00:44:24.96
a big thing and it's really
tough like with my father.
00:44:24.96\00:44:27.66
I had to get a little baby
shoe of his and I had to look at
00:44:27.66\00:44:31.10
this baby. She was a little
white to that with us lace,
00:44:31.10\00:44:34.50
isn't it? And I had to say,
Lord, I forgive my father for
00:44:34.50\00:44:38.41
all the abuse that
happened in his life
00:44:38.41\00:44:41.64
as a baby, that he was able
to grow up and you're all of his
00:44:41.64\00:44:45.78
children. And so I had to for
a while, look at that shooting
00:44:45.78\00:44:48.88
now that I understand trauma
and epigenetic somehow traumas
00:44:48.88\00:44:53.76
followed us from generation
to generation. As I can look at,
00:44:53.76\00:44:58.29
I saw and say, and we have
all carried someone's trauma and
00:44:58.29\00:45:04.43
then traumatized ourselves
and we traumatize ourselves and
00:45:04.43\00:45:08.94
maybe even traumatize
our children. And that's why
00:45:08.94\00:45:11.54
forgiveness not only for each
other is important but were to
00:45:11.54\00:45:15.31
receive forgiveness from
God that I have to know that God
00:45:15.31\00:45:18.08
looks at all of this and my
guilt and all of this, my I'm
00:45:18.08\00:45:22.75
not showing up and not
authentically and being able to
00:45:22.75\00:45:25.42
lie to my child or are not be
the president with her growing
00:45:25.42\00:45:28.92
up because I was trying
to people, please, God says I
00:45:28.92\00:45:32.09
forgive you.
00:45:32.09\00:45:33.46
I forgive you, do not beat
yourself up over this. Do not.
00:45:33.46\00:45:37.50
You know, my my Angela
said, you know, into, you know
00:45:37.50\00:45:42.27
something
00:45:42.27\00:45:43.44
into you'll act a certain way
into, you know, better than do
00:45:43.44\00:45:46.47
better. Yeah. I mean, it's a
very simple statement in my gut
00:45:46.47\00:45:49.78
says is, don't beat yourself
up. Don't let the enemy get a
00:45:49.78\00:45:53.01
hold of you and let you spend
in guilt because, you know,
00:45:53.01\00:45:56.15
dis regulating
guilt at don't do that.
00:45:56.15\00:45:59.09
>> God says you are, can
my blood covers this? And now
00:45:59.09\00:46:02.36
let's learn to do was to save
us all loving it. You need to
00:46:02.36\00:46:05.26
have a someone all you
do. You just say come on in if
00:46:05.26\00:46:09.10
you're broke and people that
don't come and want to admit
00:46:09.10\00:46:11.17
their pro can watch us. Real
quick summit thought completely
00:46:11.17\00:46:14.50
different question with
all left and right before we go
00:46:14.50\00:46:16.81
there, OK, he said this.
00:46:16.81\00:46:18.67
>> Is that I'm coming out
of retirement. Okay. So if
00:46:18.67\00:46:21.54
somebody for one eye have not
a dime fact at times, can't even
00:46:21.54\00:46:26.98
afford groceries now may even
lose my house, which is I'm not
00:46:26.98\00:46:31.29
complaining about that. But
if you can sponsor me going to
00:46:31.29\00:46:35.12
seminars, working with people
want to any of that stuff,
00:46:35.12\00:46:39.03
please do because I'm not
asking this because I want a
00:46:39.03\00:46:41.76
new outfit, even how that would
be were a size 8. Haha, I'm
00:46:41.76\00:46:48.90
just asking that. I don't
know how like Danny was gracious
00:46:48.90\00:46:51.97
enough to allow me to set
back in the ministry or in the
00:46:51.97\00:46:55.41
ministry. I'm asking if
somebody is out there that can
00:46:55.41\00:46:58.55
help me to step in the ministry
or if you can invite me to your
00:46:58.55\00:47:01.95
church or let me do a seminar
or any of that stuff, please
00:47:01.95\00:47:06.42
do.
00:47:06.42\00:47:07.89
>> Yeah, I think we have your
e-mail that I'll ask him to put
00:47:07.89\00:47:10.09
the not share that with
the views before the problem is
00:47:10.09\00:47:12.06
over. OK, go ahead with a
completely different question
00:47:12.06\00:47:14.76
here, honey, what you wish
you could look at how the wife
00:47:14.76\00:47:18.37
affectively manage
my digits whole life
00:47:18.37\00:47:22.67
so that it doesn't control me.
00:47:22.67\00:47:25.04
>> You know what?
It what stuff that
00:47:25.04\00:47:28.18
so important to me, John. But
00:47:28.18\00:47:31.08
we have given
00:47:31.08\00:47:35.12
kids cell phones at to try
just babysat them. Yeah. And the
00:47:35.12\00:47:40.52
kids went in 2010 from a play
00:47:40.52\00:47:44.03
economy
00:47:44.03\00:47:46.19
to a phone Com E so they're
meant to learn by plane moving
00:47:46.19\00:47:50.63
their bodies, doing all this
kind of stuff. Their minds or
00:47:50.63\00:47:53.54
their brains are 90% developed
by the time they're 5. And now
00:47:53.54\00:47:58.17
all they're moving is
their fingers at 10. They're
00:47:58.17\00:48:00.91
scrolling. You take away
their phone. They sound like an
00:48:00.91\00:48:03.51
addict. You take away the
device. They sound like an
00:48:03.51\00:48:05.91
addict. We gave him Einstein
and computers and learning
00:48:05.91\00:48:09.18
things what they're finding out
and in different places that it
00:48:09.18\00:48:12.55
was so damaging that it is
changed and neurochemistry of a
00:48:12.55\00:48:16.59
generation all over the world.
So from 2010 until now, suicide
00:48:16.59\00:48:22.00
rates went up and hedonistic
disorders. When UPS depression
00:48:22.00\00:48:26.50
wind up anxiety is off the
chart and you look at these
00:48:26.50\00:48:29.87
kids and they show up in
college and they want safe
00:48:29.87\00:48:32.34
places. They don't even
know how to show up without you
00:48:32.34\00:48:35.64
providing safe places because
they don't know how to do that
00:48:35.64\00:48:38.25
for themselves. So these are
not spoiled brat. He's are not
00:48:38.25\00:48:41.52
people that don't have a brand.
These are people that we have
00:48:41.52\00:48:44.89
program in certain countries
won't even let you program the
00:48:44.89\00:48:48.26
kids under 6. It's against the
law. Has devices also injury?
00:48:48.26\00:48:52.56
Yeah, and damaging. So we've
changed in our chemistry of a
00:48:52.56\00:48:55.86
generation and yet we don't
think it affects us, but it
00:48:55.86\00:48:59.20
affects anybody that's on their
device, actually more than a
00:48:59.20\00:49:03.34
few hours a day and some kids,
it's 20 hours a day. So that
00:49:03.34\00:49:07.48
means or sleep so disruptive.
They're eating this disruptive.
00:49:07.48\00:49:10.78
They don't know how to
communicate their their their
00:49:10.78\00:49:13.35
face-to-face to office is
not developed at Alderson. Dana
00:49:13.35\00:49:17.49
Modi's rather than doing a
facial expression and it is
00:49:17.49\00:49:21.69
that epidemic of our time.
It says it released due to the
00:49:21.69\00:49:25.79
bottom ease 2 people. We
thought that we would genius to
00:49:25.79\00:49:28.56
do that or electric shock
treatment and all that kind of
00:49:28.56\00:49:31.07
stop. And we did that long
before. We knew that that was
00:49:31.07\00:49:33.70
horrendous. It was horrible
now, right for mutilating young
00:49:33.70\00:49:37.61
kids by removing genders
and all that kind of stopped and
00:49:37.61\00:49:40.81
were given devices to other
kids to kids that are changing
00:49:40.81\00:49:44.01
them neurochemistry. So when
you talk about trauma, there's
00:49:44.01\00:49:48.75
so many levels of trauma, but
there's levels of trauma right
00:49:48.75\00:49:52.82
now that children, 25 years,
30 years old and under, are
00:49:52.82\00:49:58.19
walking into the world ill
equipped and have no idea who
00:49:58.19\00:50:01.56
they are. And they are fabulous
folks, but they have no idea.
00:50:01.56\00:50:05.07
So to me devices, we're going
to look back if we're still
00:50:05.07\00:50:09.20
around, hopefully will be
home by then. But if we're still
00:50:09.20\00:50:12.17
around 10, 20 years from now,
we're going to be repenting.
00:50:12.17\00:50:15.44
>> Of what we did to both
generate well, the world right
00:50:15.44\00:50:17.68
now. I think it may have
been you might. My life was just
00:50:17.68\00:50:19.81
reminded me. We're the one
that recommended the book to me.
00:50:19.81\00:50:22.42
Thrilled to death in a tweet by
TalkTalk trouble him powerful.
00:50:22.42\00:50:26.15
Get that book, thrilled to
death that talks about and had
00:50:26.15\00:50:28.79
only of how the simple
pleasures of life you can not
00:50:28.79\00:50:31.29
experience any longer.
00:50:31.29\00:50:32.69
>> This gem because it's
flat-lined. Yeah, the pleasure
00:50:32.69\00:50:35.46
centers of your brain
that you are not producing the
00:50:35.46\00:50:38.23
neurochemistry that you
need. And 2 men. You talk about
00:50:38.23\00:50:40.87
somebody that younger because
we at least have developed that
00:50:40.87\00:50:45.44
Brian and getting back to
that as possible use takes a 2
00:50:45.44\00:50:49.28
year-old that has been on
devices their whole lives.
00:50:49.28\00:50:51.91
They have it more difficult
time, not impossible but more
00:50:51.91\00:50:55.55
difficult time to get back
to that state or to a state of
00:50:55.55\00:50:59.49
being in their own skin
and alive without chemical
00:50:59.49\00:51:03.46
assistant.
00:51:03.46\00:51:04.59
>> And the more people have
that the more exposure people
00:51:04.59\00:51:07.76
have at any age to this device,
00:51:07.76\00:51:10.23
the less they have
the ability to focus.
00:51:10.23\00:51:13.57
>> That's a difficult thing.
So so I run programs right now
00:51:13.57\00:51:18.31
healing through the arts.
So we we actually do right
00:51:18.31\00:51:21.48
brand healing to art and music.
And and and it just kind of
00:51:21.48\00:51:25.01
getting into all that kind of
stuff hands on stop. We go out,
00:51:25.01\00:51:29.38
even even kayaking or
power boarding. And we go out on
00:51:29.38\00:51:32.62
weekends and hike together
and all that kind of stuff. So
00:51:32.62\00:51:35.36
anything you can do to add
to your online stop don't feel
00:51:35.36\00:51:39.16
like I might have to take it
away to some kids would rather
00:51:39.16\00:51:41.80
you lose a lamb, then you take
their phone. We know. And so
00:51:41.80\00:51:46.03
it's so true. So it's like
don't don't think about that.
00:51:46.03\00:51:49.57
But think about if you have
children, if you have friends,
00:51:49.57\00:51:52.41
if you love anybody, take
him outside, do something. You
00:51:52.41\00:51:57.35
know, when got Tommy had a love
because I didn't know how to
00:51:57.35\00:51:59.85
love. I mean, that would what
does that mean exactly and what
00:51:59.85\00:52:02.82
he said? I want you to go
outside and just take a walk in
00:52:02.82\00:52:05.65
any time you see something
that makes you smile, know that
00:52:05.65\00:52:08.19
you've experienced me a little
bit. And so what I saw flower
00:52:08.19\00:52:12.03
color or smelled something
or whatever, so get outside and
00:52:12.03\00:52:15.86
know that the angels themselves
walk with you when you're in
00:52:15.86\00:52:19.50
nature. I mean that this is a
spiritual experience. And when
00:52:19.50\00:52:23.20
you do that with each other
and connect a laugh with each
00:52:23.20\00:52:25.51
other, it is absolutely amazing
to don't think that I can stay
00:52:25.51\00:52:29.38
on lines going through a
device and learning how to set
00:52:29.38\00:52:32.38
boundaries are learning how to
communicate or connecting with
00:52:32.38\00:52:35.48
anybody that's going to be life
changing to me or them. So it
00:52:35.48\00:52:39.42
is
00:52:39.42\00:52:40.82
it is a health
is a home new world.
00:52:40.82\00:52:44.36
>> So so you e-mail would
be celebrating life for Christ.
00:52:44.36\00:52:49.43
Yes, at G Mail dot com. Yes,
yeah. There is. It is on the
00:52:49.43\00:52:53.27
bottom of the screen
celebrating life for Chrysler
00:52:53.27\00:52:56.14
and G Mail dot com. Now,
the reason given that e-mail,
00:52:56.14\00:52:59.11
I just want the people
listening watching the program
00:52:59.11\00:53:01.38
to know that I don't want to
add a month in the midst that
00:53:01.38\00:53:05.18
you said earlier, this appeal
that she made was a very honest
00:53:05.18\00:53:08.78
appealed versus your appeal
because we've known you and we
00:53:08.78\00:53:12.12
know you we know you're out,
you know, the Austin on using
00:53:12.12\00:53:15.66
that word
00:53:15.66\00:53:16.79
of experiences and what you
have. But the lawyer wrote you
00:53:16.79\00:53:19.29
through and how the laws of
C we've we've experienced that
00:53:19.29\00:53:22.40
here. But God is not finished
yet. And that's what the sun
00:53:22.40\00:53:26.94
God is not finished with
you yet. And you're still at the
00:53:26.94\00:53:29.44
place where these questions and
the skills that God has allowed
00:53:29.44\00:53:32.17
you to experience and develop
from that kind of live. It's
00:53:32.17\00:53:35.64
helpful in your community.
You might be a pastor. Yeah,
00:53:35.64\00:53:38.51
you might be a local leader.
You might be a person who's
00:53:38.51\00:53:40.95
running a show home for young
girls that don't know they are.
00:53:40.95\00:53:45.75
You might be a person
that wants to add a different
00:53:45.75\00:53:48.69
dimension to your rehab center
or a person that's dealing with
00:53:48.69\00:53:51.69
people that are just
strung out on something
00:53:51.69\00:53:53.93
you've been there should use
and and what I like about it,
00:53:53.93\00:53:57.27
we've had you preach at a
church before. What I like
00:53:57.27\00:53:59.07
about it is she not only
has had these experiences that
00:53:59.07\00:54:01.80
you've experienced God
to bring. The scriptural has
00:54:01.80\00:54:04.61
picked a name. And so you not
just telling people about all
00:54:04.61\00:54:07.01
that you've been to how to get
out of it. Yeah. Power of Khan
00:54:07.01\00:54:10.65
to power cars. So in the time
we have remaining give us about
00:54:10.65\00:54:13.78
the 30 seconds or so. But
talk to the people on the camera
00:54:13.78\00:54:17.62
thing right behind me here.
Just kind of reach out to them
00:54:17.62\00:54:20.19
in kids. Some encouraging words
before we close this program is
00:54:20.19\00:54:23.06
solvent encouragement.
00:54:23.06\00:54:24.69
Talk directly to them.
00:54:24.69\00:54:25.86
>> Yeah, I just want to say if
there's anybody out there that
00:54:25.86\00:54:28.76
in the middle of their trauma
and they really don't know what
00:54:28.76\00:54:30.90
to do with us is I want to say
men grab people around you and
00:54:30.90\00:54:36.40
there's so many groups
there's on celebrating life in
00:54:36.40\00:54:39.04
recovery, which is our
group there celebrate recovery,
00:54:39.04\00:54:41.34
which is another group
out there. There's a 12 step
00:54:41.34\00:54:44.31
program anywhere. There's
Bible studies. There's a lot of
00:54:44.31\00:54:47.82
different things that you can
grab hold of, but don't do this
00:54:47.82\00:54:50.15
by yourself and know
00:54:50.15\00:54:52.45
now that recovery is possible.
I promise you, I promise you
00:54:52.45\00:54:56.56
that we put your hand up to
God and he will grab hold of the
00:54:56.56\00:54:59.66
other side of that. And
so don't be afraid of that.
00:54:59.66\00:55:03.57
It call OS. I'm gonna call me
because we can talk. And I and
00:55:03.57\00:55:08.77
I don't mean that lightly.
And again, I want to go to the
00:55:08.77\00:55:11.57
person that can actually
help sponsor us is when somebody
00:55:11.57\00:55:15.78
calls, I want to be able to
give them the time. And I can't
00:55:15.78\00:55:18.71
even buy groceries some of the
time just because of where I'm
00:55:18.71\00:55:23.02
not coming out of retirement.
So if you can sponsor anything
00:55:23.02\00:55:26.32
sponsor us with our one
to one sponsor us with our
00:55:26.32\00:55:29.06
interventions with family
sponsor us. When we go out to
00:55:29.06\00:55:31.89
communities and if you have a
quarter in your pocket, send it
00:55:31.89\00:55:35.76
to us because we need that
and know that it's needed. We've
00:55:35.76\00:55:40.64
got a world that is being lost
in trauma all over the world.
00:55:40.64\00:55:44.97
Not just one country, not just
one area, not just one. When we
00:55:44.97\00:55:49.01
talk about all this cultural
stuff and racial stuff, it is.
00:55:49.01\00:55:52.81
There's no on divide
here. We are all dealing with
00:55:52.81\00:55:56.28
something and we all need each
other and we all need the lord.
00:55:56.28\00:56:01.36
That's kind of I don't mean
lame to say. But I know people
00:56:01.36\00:56:05.06
here that all the time. But I
believe that with everything in
00:56:05.06\00:56:07.60
me is I can't do this without
God. You can't do this without
00:56:07.60\00:56:10.67
God, and we can't do this
without each other. That's
00:56:10.67\00:56:12.93
right.
00:56:12.93\00:56:14.40
>> She said, well, you know,
I feel like I got some free
00:56:14.40\00:56:17.81
counseling to hull so many
points, the tweet which we have
00:56:17.81\00:56:21.51
through the years. But on a
show, the script to John 16,
00:56:21.51\00:56:23.98
33 Jesus said in the world,
you will have tribulation but
00:56:23.98\00:56:28.75
Sheree and we all have turned
out to be a good year have
00:56:28.75\00:56:31.59
overcome the world. Don't
forget there's going to be a
00:56:31.59\00:56:34.16
day when there's no more on all
this stuff. You've got to make
00:56:34.16\00:56:37.43
it through the 23rd psalm.
Let that be your guide at the
00:56:37.43\00:56:40.00
Lord is your shepherd.
Everything that David talked
00:56:40.00\00:56:42.03
about will be your experience.
00:56:42.03\00:56:43.93
But as you say, one day, you'll
do well in the House of the
00:56:43.93\00:56:47.10
Lord Forever. I'm Ashley
PETA. So good to have you here.
00:56:47.10\00:56:50.07
Yes, baby in family. Thank
you for joining us tonight. Tell
00:56:50.07\00:56:53.64
you celebrate something today
and celebrate this that Jesus
00:56:53.64\00:56:57.38
is on your side and, you know,
bring you through onto the next
00:56:57.38\00:57:00.35
time publishing
00:57:00.35\00:57:02.28
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