Participants:
Series Code: TDYL
Program Code: TDYL240025A
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00:04 >> I want to 00:17 [MUSIC] 00:26 >> too. 00:31 [MUSIC] 00:36 >> I'm 00:42 >> and 00:47 I want to stand 00:48 [MUSIC] 00:52 too. 00:54 [MUSIC] 00:59 [MUSIC] 01:06 >> Hello, friends. Welcome to Thursday night live here at 3, 01:09 a D and this is Thursday night all the way live and we are 01:13 really excited all all we ever. Yeah, I kind of kind of hold 01:18 around a little bit kind of I hold them over the 5. But thank 01:21 you for tuning into 3 ABN your network. If you're tuning in 01:24 for the first time, remember this network? We are continuing 01:27 to do the Lord's will buy his empowerment, getting ready for 01:31 the most exciting event of the ages. And that's the second 01:33 coming chases. Good to have you with me, honey. Always happy. 01:38 We got hit by the Blues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm feeling 01:41 blue, right? But in a good way in a good way, a good way. 01:44 Blue is an honest cover on his car. And this is a very open 01:48 and honest program. Not just kind of say this in lead and 01:51 some of you may not even know what a boundary is. Some of you 01:55 live a life 01:57 and you have giving yourself away decades ago because you 01:59 don't know how to express who you are. 02:02 You don't know how to tell people no or yes. 02:05 I mean, yes. When you say no, I'm the opposite way around. 02:09 Some of you live in families where your traumas have 02:12 completely 02:13 become the guiding focus of your life and you don't know 02:15 how to get yourself back. Some of you are in a position 02:19 where you love what you do. But 02:21 just a suggestion from somebody owes come completely destroy a 02:24 change or day. This program is the kind of problem you need to 02:27 listen to how to set boundaries. Yeah, what's so 02:30 important how to survive traumas 02:33 and we all have traumas bite, but it is a trauma something 02:37 that happened to you. Well, you have to come is a vitally 02:40 important question. So tonight you want to get that. Well, 02:43 I know how many people record that that record function on 02:46 your DVR. You can record this problem because if you're by 02:48 yourself and is somebody in the kitchen, 02:50 pull them together. Has been a wife is most in around the 02:54 room. 02:55 >> Pull them together. Yeah. Program was excited. I really 02:58 am. I'll be going to talk with an introduce a guess now after 03:02 this. I'm okay. Haha knee cut we have right here. Someone who 03:08 is not a strange. It's a 3ABN she repeat as welcome Shiri. 03:12 Thank you. I feel like I need to put something a little on. 03:15 Haha. Okay. Nobody sent me the memo. Haha. Dress in how you 03:19 feel. 03:20 >> Yes, well, good to have you back. It's so nice to be back. 03:22 I just got to say that I haven't been here for a couple 03:24 years. And when I came in today, it was like I was just 03:28 screaming, family members and hugging and he's seen and 03:33 coming home. It was the most incredible hall, I think 03:37 because I miss all of you guys. How long have you been between 03:40 a home? How I've been with the avian for probably almost 30 03:44 years old and a long time cause teen pathways celebrating last 03:48 night covering all of that kind of stuff. And and when we when 03:53 we get a chance, I would love to say what changed my life 03:56 about what happened here, 3 being because it was powerful, 03:59 but it feels like family and there for somebody like myself 04:04 that doesn't have family that I just wasn't. 04:07 I'm fortunate enough to have that. That from the moment that 04:12 we met, I have experience healing all kinds of trauma. 04:17 >> Thats good through it all. She's learned to trust in 04:20 Jesus, hasn't she? You leading up to something. Hahaha, 04:25 we are going to share a wonderful selection by Allison 04:29 Spears and Tim Parton and titles. 04:32 >> Through it on. 04:34 [MUSIC] 04:39 [MUSIC] 04:44 [MUSIC] 04:46 >> And then A T. 04:48 >> Some saw all wrong. 04:51 I've had questions for to 04:57 this time 04:58 [MUSIC] 05:03 [MUSIC] 05:05 bought in every 6 Asian 05:10 God gave me said consolation. 05:17 >> That I try to use. 05:21 >> Calm, cool thing to me. Strong 05:28 [MUSIC] 05:32 >> it all. 05:33 [MUSIC] 05:39 >> I'm to trust in. G is the trust in God. 05:48 >> Little through little. 05:56 >> I've today pay Paul. You were. 06:03 [MUSIC] 06:08 >> I'm saying assay 06:13 [MUSIC] 06:16 soar. 06:19 [MUSIC] 06:23 Well, but all yeah, 06:28 those precious little boy, Jesus. And that means no out 06:36 was used tool through it all. 06:42 [MUSIC] 06:47 >> I to trust in Jesus, the trust in little. 06:58 [MUSIC] 07:04 >> I have today pick up all new word to and today pay only his 07:23 to it. 07:26 >> I'm 07:32 >> well 07:43 [MUSIC] 07:46 >> we thank you, Allison. Thank you, Tim. That song 07:49 perfectly set the stage for this program. It Menaces. 07:52 I mean, as we were listening to it, it was a blessing. You sure 07:56 he wasn't it. 07:57 >> It's powerful. And to me was really powerful about that is 08:00 that I don't think we have any idea when when we read in the 08:04 Bible when God says I have plans, I write in Jeremiah, 08:08 29 11, as I know the plans that I have for you isn't the first 08:12 time I read that. The fact that I believed that I didn't have 08:16 to die in my addiction was the only hope that I had for any 08:20 kind of plan. And was I shown wrong every single day of my 08:25 journey? Not that I didn't have trauma and things of that had 08:27 to work through. But every day God was faithful and through it 08:31 all, he did teach me not only that I am loved. I'm a I'm 08:35 child of God that I'm I was wonderfully made. What I you 08:39 know, you know, my beginnings or I don't even you know, 08:44 I wasn't even wanted it. Will all of that kind of stuff? 08:47 Is that through it all? I've always come to a place where I 08:50 look at God and say, you know, I hope this doesn't surprise me 08:53 because I knees are shaking and I'm afraid when God says, 08:57 you know, don't be afraid. I'm right here. And I just feel 09:00 like he's always been right here and there. 09:03 >> You know, I heard a story and kind of lead in the leading 09:06 into this because we know her so much to so much media 09:08 following program to distill this down to 2. And you really 09:11 want to pay attention tonight. 09:13 All right. The story about a man who hadn't and I painting 09:16 as he was moving in was in his garage for years. He got 09:18 released dad who got from his dad said, 09:21 and he said his dad, 09:24 physics grandfather, bought it at a at a yard sale for $2. 09:29 And you know, the traveling road show. Yeah, well, we saw 09:33 antique road show so many all this on the antique road show 09:36 and they said so we don't know if you know, this is not that 09:38 this is a painting from the 1700. We can even put a price 09:41 on this thing. How much did you see a debt pay for it? I think 09:44 he bought it for $2 and there's so many of us that are in the 09:48 pile heap in somebodys a mental basements. Yeah. Somebody 09:52 bought us shape. Somebody else just held on to us not knowing 09:56 our value. 09:57 Talk about the Sheree. 09:59 >> You know, I'm into that basement. Thank you for that. 10:01 Because what was really interesting is it is my 10:07 background is I was born to a couple kids that had 5 10:12 children. My mom had 5 kids before she was in her probably 10:17 early 20's. And I was the second one. And by that, 10:21 when she had me, she was so beaten down herself that she 10:26 could and she just didn't have anything to give me. And over 10:31 the years, I've learned more about that, but that she was so 10:33 beaten down. And so literally coming out of that, it thinking 10:37 that I was nothing that I was not wanted, that I ended up 10:42 homeless by the time I was 13 after failed pregnancy after it 10:47 already started drugs. And when it started drugs, I wanted to 10:50 die every day of my life. I literally was so injured by 10:55 not being cared for not being loved. All of that kind of 10:58 stuff that if you if I could have got a way out, I would 11:01 have jumped off my house one time trying to kill myself. 11:04 But I put in that just because I didn't want to hurt. Why 11:08 landed on the match just didn't even get scratched stop. 11:11 But I I I really felt that way all my life. And so I ended up 11:15 homeless for 13 with s***** into an industry that I I just 11:19 saw have to say for people that don't know, it's just dark it. 11:23 There's a you see the worst of the worst of mankind. And so 11:28 when I when I took my first rug and I realize that I could 11:31 survive all of this, if I just was high, if I could stay high 11:35 the rest of my life, I will be OK here. And that's what I did. 11:38 I and I was a cute kid. And so people would give you dogs 11:42 because the tradeoff as they could use you in whatever way 11:44 they saw fit. And by the time I met God, I was only at that 11:50 time. I was 13, only 30, again, still a child. I was a child to 11:55 you with us. 11:56 And now when I look back at that child, I want to say I'm 11:59 so I'm sorry, I'm sorry for every child that out there 12:03 because it's there are 80,000 kids like me on the streets of 12:07 LA at that time. So I wish I could say there was just one. 12:10 I was the only child on the street, which is not true. 12:13 And so looking back at that when after 10 years, I'm fairly 12:17 literate. I'm strung out on heroin. I live in a drug house. 12:20 I had some teeth knocked out by being kidnapped by some 12:23 motorcycle on group. And and so I was so I feel like God showed 12:27 up and got was like, 12:30 you know, I love you. And I remember just here in kind of a 12:34 sense of the Holy Spirit saying stuff like that. And I thought 12:37 my mother doesn't even love me. And I remember just the status 12:41 of that reality. My dad is a is a mask and he's a molester. 12:46 And I think he started molesting me when I was an 12:49 infant. And and so it's like, you know, I just thought, 12:53 you know, got I don't know what you're saying isn't nobody 12:56 loves me in. The next thing he said was really tough for me 13:00 because I really believe the holy Spirit said is if you 13:02 can't trust me, I can change a life tip out. I don't trust 13:08 anybody anymore. Do you learn to trust with a background like 13:11 that where you learn to trust as a child on the street? 13:14 I mean, the only thing I learned to do is survive, 13:17 but not trust anybody or anything. And so when God said 13:22 that, I thought now I'm just it's hopeless because I don't 13:25 even know what that means. I don't even know. Do you 13:27 muster trust top? I mean, do you can I just pull it from 13:31 somewhere. And I just remember thinking that that's 13:34 ridiculous. And so I felt like I felt like what God said 13:38 within the next little while is can I show you who I see when I 13:43 look at you? And I thought, man, if if I know what I see 13:48 and this is God and I don't know what made me think and 13:51 know it was gone. But I just knew because 13:55 I just felt safe for the first time in my life. I just found I 14:00 don't know how you know, it was God I you know, I really don't 14:03 like people have asked me that, like, how do you know? I don't 14:05 know. 14:06 >> And so I think that way, you know, it's because Cod reaches 14:09 you where you can best hear him that I felt loved and safe for 14:13 the first time in my life. You know, I like to say a guy 14:16 that has tattoos can welcome to a guy with tattoos 14:19 and connect immediately where I can't. You know, God works in 14:23 mysterious ways. And cod could he could meet you because he's 14:27 the only one that has open access to your heart with all 14:29 your commission of a man. 14:30 >> And if I want to, if I could say anything to anybody that is 14:33 even beginning to and this next hour or 2 with us, is that 14:37 trust God and just ask him, ask him something silly, ask him to 14:41 tell you a joke. Ask him to hang out with you because God 14:44 knows us so well. But anyhow. So is that like if you could 14:47 trust me, I could change a life. And I had 32 wants from 14:50 I-40 to one time. Sorry for my arrest. I love and in a drug 14:55 house and the boards were just silly things. So warrants were 14:58 like 15:00 things like traffic. I you know, I was driving at 13. 15:04 I was I was literally would get pulled over for no tail light, 15:08 but I don't have a license. So then they want you to go to 15:10 court. I don't show up in court now is to warrant an, you know, 15:13 all of that kind of stuff and saw like I have all of that. 15:16 And so God is going to show me who he sees when he looks at me 15:19 and I'm singing, please hold up. Haha, I don't want to see 15:22 it. I don't want to know what I don't want to. If God is God, 15:26 I don't want to know more than I already know because I 15:29 already feel like I don't want to breathe. I don't want to 15:32 step out. Somebody had just put a gun in my face and threaten 15:35 to blow my head off. And I remember feeling such joy, 15:38 like I've tried to kill myself so many times. I just want to 15:41 thank you and say, pull the trigger. And the guy was just 15:44 trying to scare me. And I just and I've said this a lot of 15:47 times. But I just wanted to scream that my next breath 15:50 scares me. Please pull the trigger. And of course he 15:53 didn't. He walked out saying I'm crazy and I'm thinking I'm 15:56 crazy. You have a gun to my face should not now be pushed 15:59 from them because that's a very interesting 16:01 >> approaching. I want to just let our viewers and listeners 16:03 know a serious candidate very open. So if you might feel 16:07 uncomfortable about something that may come up and hurt her 16:12 journey, you have young children around, you might want 16:15 to say, well, you watch the program and if anything, 16:17 let them watch it later. Yeah, because, you know, 16:19 I'm going to be better. Very who where the fact that we are 16:24 on 3 ABN, we know that put her life story. Surely side stories 16:28 a very telling about why she can celebrate on the other 16:32 side. 16:34 >> And how incredible gun is the relentless love of God. 16:36 Yeah, that that someone like me like you, you would think that 16:40 somebody like me even at that time is that nobody would have 16:44 time for even God. And that's just not true. It's not too. 16:48 So in the what what I believe that God said to me was let me 16:53 show you who I see when I look at you. And what he did was 16:56 showed me somewhat of a vision and I can't even say a total 16:59 vision. I don't think I could have survived it. But he showed 17:02 me who I am. The day after resurrection. Not the day after 17:06 I pull a needle from my arm. Not the day I by step into a 17:09 relationship with him. But the day after resurrection, when I 17:12 am standing in front of him, totally clean, totally innocent 17:18 home, completely loved. And on the other side of all the this 17:22 he said to icing. 17:24 >> When I look at you, so you like revelation, 20 of the 17:26 first 4, no more sorrow. No McKay will pay. 17:30 >> Hey, Ed, not only do I like it. 17:33 >> But I wish that we have some sense of how true that is. 17:38 How that got himself doesn't see you in your trauma. He sees 17:42 you in your glory in his glory. One tooth clothes you want. 17:47 He's got you home. And so what I believe he said to me is get 17:52 you home. And I've never been home. I've never had a home. 17:55 And so to me that was so motivating to stand up and say, 17:59 man, I would do anything if it even a portion of this is true. 18:04 If you are God and I am your child and there is a better 18:08 place I'm in, you know, will she show your life is amazing. 18:15 And right now you still have your ministry. Is that correct? 18:18 Still the ministry I've been retired for the last couple 18:22 years. And so I stepped into retirement, not realizing that 18:27 it was an easy, was it? It was an easy in its second into 18:30 retirement. I I went from working at my last job. I even 18:34 more to the general conference for 4 years. And so it went 18:37 from working in a number of different areas to just getting 18:42 so security and all the sudden, I thought can anybody live on 18:46 this and hole? You really can't. And but I didn't 18:50 understand that in the in. I think I had a lot of people 18:54 that wanted to come to help me. And I thought, no, no, no, 18:57 often get out in and didn't realize or sometimes you can't 19:01 buy groceries, you can't you can't pay of those and then buy 19:04 groceries and you can figure out how how the next step is 19:08 going to happen. And I thought God, is this happening all over 19:12 and not only all over the U.S. it's happening where people I'm 19:15 dealing with their own trauma, their own families are own 19:18 situations and now economically and I dare say politically we 19:23 are. So I'm in such a mass terror and being able to say is 19:27 how do you hold on to your own journey to God and 19:34 to your groceries. Haha, be able to get the groceries. 19:38 So it hasn't been easy, but that's not why I'm stepping 19:41 back into ministry am stepping back in the ministry. Can I 19:47 tell you this show? I'm stepping back in the ministry. 19:49 I was coming back. I'm from a gig that I had in Spokane. 19:54 And so we were doing what's called renew Spokane. And and I 19:58 was working with community leaders and conference leaders 20:01 and we were trying to figure out what to do after all the 20:04 writing and how do you rebuild that city and all that kind of 20:06 stuff. And so I was coming back home and and God, and I don't 20:11 know how God speaks to anybody, but he speaks to me with kind 20:15 of visions like not that I can see. I think about, you know, 20:19 so just impressions and I was coming home and I was coming 20:22 down through the area that was just kind of a desert. Does it 20:27 area they ground you could tell was dry. And and you can see 20:31 that. And what he showed me is my mom as a young girl in and 20:36 in my mind's eye, I could see her kind of lane in the desert, 20:40 emotionally in the desert. In the only thing around her, 20:43 the only fluid around her was and be out of fluid from a 20:47 child. And I thought I'd just tear it up late. 20:51 Am I that child like she's in this emotional buzzard and 20:55 she's having yet another child? And I just thought, you know, 20:59 I never thought about I mean, I thought about my own recovery, 21:02 my own journey. But I never thought about who she was. 21:05 And my mom was a kid when she came to the United States, 21:09 she was illegal where Canada 21:12 and she was illegal. And in to the point, I don't think she 21:15 got her citizenship for years, but she was ashamed of being in 21:18 a legal. And so she comes over and and she me to my dad and 21:23 they get married in. He's a mask and it has one child after 21:26 another after another. And fact, I asked her one-time 21:29 father, why same father and I asked her one time as a 21:32 wedding. You go back to Canada. And she said 21:36 by the time she was 18, she had 3 kids already full. And so she 21:40 said, I just felt stock and and so in the house. So I get this 21:44 image of her lane and there. And and I just God put a huge 21:51 thing in my head. That said, I m her child. Yeah. And so I 21:55 just I I I got home and I got my art stuff out and I did a 22:00 collage of what I thought. I it's on the way home. And 22:03 this is I am her child. But in the letters I m in the 22:06 background, it had her life journey from the time she was a 22:11 child, her mom's 22:14 on partying and alcoholism. 22:16 Her own. Um, I'm being pulled from an aunt who's house 22:20 brought to the United States. Generational generational. 22:23 And so I saw that so clear. And at one point, I thought I 22:27 want to share this with her and I didn't even know how she 22:30 would take it. This is I'm a child. And in that collage, 22:34 I put a picture of my arms being op. It is his lord. 22:37 I surrender all of the stuff that I've learned over the 22:40 years in order to survive this trauma, like I just want to 22:44 give you all of that. And so when I was at her house one 22:47 time I got on my knees and I said, can I share something 22:50 with you 22:51 and ice? And and I didn't even know how she was going to take 22:54 it. I didn't know she was going to say, I don't I don't care 22:57 about that. I don't want to hear about that. I and yet I 23:00 when I was halfway through explaining what I meant, 23:03 my mom when she was little, I'm like 11, 12 years old. She was 23:07 given a scholarship to an art academy in Toronto. My mom's 23:11 very bright and creative in and and she was excited to be 23:16 there. But she was so young, she thought, did you invite me 23:19 to be in the school? Because I'm young. I mean in and it 23:24 took them a while to convince her to know because of your 23:26 talent and soon as she kind of accepted that. 23:29 >> Her mother ended up pregnant. And at that day and 23:34 age, you couldn't be pregnant and unmarried. So they came to 23:37 my mom's home, which she lived with her and t pulled her from 23:41 that home and moved to California from Toronto, 23:44 Canada to the U.S. and my mom didn't get to say really good 23:49 bye to the classmates or say anything about what about my 23:53 scholarship? Any of that stuff. But she ends up now leaving all 23:57 of that and and meet my father because they put her in high 24:00 school at 12 years old. She got pregnant um and then pregnant 24:05 and then pregnant. And so as with the I am in the 24:08 background, I put that whole journey in pictures, even fund 24:12 the arts academy. She was except in. And I kind of was 24:15 able to find some pictures of that. And as a young girl 24:19 holding infant son. And and so when I was on my knees and I 24:23 was explaining to her as I'm sorry that I never saw your 24:26 journey. I only thought about my pain and my trauma. And and 24:31 she said to me, I didn't think anybody saw that. I didn't 24:34 think anybody saw me and I realized at that time we're 24:38 talking about generational trauma. We're talking about 24:42 things that were passed down from one generation to the 24:45 next. And the more I looked into that, the more I realize 24:48 that not only was my that my mom's history, but my 24:52 grandmother's mother was in the everybody is from when Bolton, 24:57 England. Wow. And so I'm at my grandmother's mother or even 25:03 her mother fell in love with an artist that was going to town a 25:07 jazz singer. And I think that what they said to her is if you 25:12 leave with him, 25:15 don't come back like he was very much a caste system. 25:19 You just if you leave with him that your life and and then 25:23 alcoholism came in, drugs came in, moved from England to 25:26 Canada to the U.S. in all of that kind of stuff. And so I 25:29 started to really look at whose 25:34 Hussein is it kuz trauma? Is it whose journey is it and 25:39 and being able to kneel in front of my mom and just kind 25:42 of go over this picture with her? I wish I had a picture of 25:46 it. I would I would posted but being able to sit down with her 25:51 and seen the pain in her that sense, he was 12, 13 years old. 25:56 She told me shut off and no one saw her again. And so now she 26:01 is at the end of her life and still, I believe emotionally 26:06 somewhat shut off. I heard my relationship is gotten 26:12 that I adore her and I I love her and I it's it's funny when 26:17 you start looking at each other in our trauma and what one 26:20 thing leads to another leads to another is being able to 26:24 forgive in a way that maybe wouldn't have been possible. 26:27 Had I not gotten some insight from God to where all of this 26:31 now, what are some other graduate from college? She's 26:35 very accomplished. One to my mom ended up going back to 26:38 school when she was in her man. It was 19. 26:42 >> 18 not know. 1979. It was a they year before I at Christ. 26:50 And I remember when she told me, Angie, I have is that I I 26:55 went over a, you know, somebody was just trying to blow my head 26:57 off. And I went over to see if anybody love me at my literally 27:01 wanted someone to say, I'm sorry, I do love you until I 27:04 went over to my childhood home. 27:07 >> And and I just remember, you know, nothing really changing. 27:13 And I started to leave. My mom said, you know, I have 27:17 something for you. And she went into the room and she got a 27:20 manila envelope out. She brought it out and she handed 27:23 it to me. And she said since the last time I saw you, 27:26 I went back to school 27:28 and I said, wow, 27:29 are you kidding me? Because I know our history. I like you 27:32 went back to school. I mean, she was my dad is a molester 27:36 and an alcoholic. And she's now with my stepdad who I adore. 27:42 I actually call him my father, but he had alcoholism issues 27:46 himself and died in his alcoholism. I know the history 27:50 and I'm like you went back to school has shocked and I'm 27:54 like, Oh, did you go back to school for? And he said social 27:57 work and I thought, oh, somebody shooting. 27:59 >> Who also worked? You have never. 28:04 >> Even said you loved me and they're going to teach other 28:07 people. Yeah, how to be loved. You're going to teach other 28:10 parents how to love. And I remember my mind just being 28:13 blown and I could not even hardly breathe. 28:16 >> You know, sometimes people take topics 28:20 for the purpose of trying to figure themselves out. Yeah, 28:22 I notice something my wife and I talked about this one time we 28:25 knew was a serious people knowing their lives and that 28:29 what they took in school was we said to each other knowing 28:34 their background, they're taking that subject has 28:36 therapy. Yeah, and it's going to end up in a decree. 28:39 >> But tell that to a homeless heroin that I did not know that 28:43 if so, the only thing I knew you is are you kidding me? 28:47 And I remember at that day in age of people didn't talk back 28:50 to their parents. So I remember saying, oh, good luck with 28:52 that. And I just went home to kill myself. I'm not home. 28:55 I lived in a drug house. I went back to the drug house 28:57 just saying I'm done and that's when I'm at God. But it was 29:00 that moment. So my mom did end up going back to school. 29:04 She's amazing. She found out right away when she got a 29:07 social work degree that she really wasn't that crazy about 29:10 kids. So I couldn't hold it. Haha. Yeah, but he wasn't that 29:16 crazy about kids. But what she was really good at is working 29:20 with women from abusive situations that wanted to go 29:22 back to school and better their lives. She was really good 29:26 worth working with Foster parent who was really good 29:28 working with adults and my mom got woman of the year. She was 29:32 up against judges and lawyers and that stuff in Orange 29:35 County. My mom is one of the brightest women I know. And so 29:42 her trauma interfered with a lot of her life. But and she is 29:48 and should belong to them into society. Got top grades and 29:51 everything. I mean, it was amazing, but she could do all 29:54 of that over here and then come back into this dysfunctional 29:58 home. And both of them were very true. Yeah, right. And so 30:02 what was and interesting to me is being able to look at her 30:06 and say, how do you do both of those? Because I know what your 30:08 home looks like. I know. I know that my dad, my step 30:12 dad, even though I I absolutely love him, could sit there and 30:16 smoke weed and drink and watch TV all day long for days and 30:20 days and days. His his addiction was pretty intense 30:24 and yet she could walk in and be present with him 30:29 and not shame him at all. And then she can go back to 30:33 work and life changing stuff for people. And so she lived 30:37 those 2, 2, lives. And since then, I've met many people that 30:41 do that in their trauma. 30:43 >> So I want to I'm looking at your journey. A mom's journey. 30:46 Yeah, and the achievement. I'm glad you brought that up. 30:48 You remember that about one getting a degree? So is it 30:53 possible then 30:55 in spite of all that's happened to you to take charge of your 30:59 life? 31:01 >> Absolutely not only as a possible. One of the things I 31:03 love about how were made that the the worst of the worst can 31:08 hit us and change us. No chemically literally change 31:13 everything about us and yet step into some truth step in to 31:18 some healing step into that direction and are very brains 31:23 change the plasticity of our brand. Everything changes. 31:26 Somebody said something to me which got me interested in this 31:30 kind of journey but said something that if you walk 31:33 around, stressed in anger and full of court is old and just 31:36 have everything be just hyped up, they can test your saliva 31:40 and there's enzymes in your saliva that's damaging to you 31:44 on a cellular level. And I remember talked in. Are you 31:48 kidding me? That's terrible. And it is terrible because 31:52 right now a lot of us are running from our trauma. 31:56 A lot of us don't know what to do with our next steps. But 32:00 knowing that the way were made, that any change, any healing, 32:06 any health, even eating watermelon, instead of a bag of 32:10 potato chips is going to change something. And when we start to 32:14 actually challenge belief systems and the way we think 32:17 and and our history, it's unbelievable what happened and 32:21 that hopefully some of what we're going to talk about 32:24 today. I want to talk about it in stories because my life kind 32:28 of on folded in stories. You know what you think it is 32:31 something I no. Well, yeah, I am. Haha. Now she Rielle 32:36 Accomplished yourself. You went back to school 32:39 and became a nurse into. But you know what? I don't 32:42 think it could have gone back to school. Had my mom not done 32:45 that journey her so high. And so literally at one point 32:50 in my life, I thought, like I said, I thought just 2 32:54 not be a heroin addict, just not to be homeless was enough. 32:59 And I think that God must have smiled cause literally. He's 33:02 crazy about me. And he says that I'm crazy about you and I 33:06 can't wait to show you the next thing. So going back to school, 33:08 I had to get a GED because I didn't do a lot of my school in 33:13 the side to get a GED had to learn to read that. Not that I 33:16 couldn't read it, but I was functionally illiterate and 33:19 it's the best. And so I remember I'm having to do all 33:23 of that. And then I stepped into this nursing program in 33:26 California. And the instructor was amazing. And I think that 33:30 for people that are afraid to step into their own recovery, 33:34 you meet people that are amazing. You will need some 33:37 people that are really tough and judgmental. But mostly you 33:40 meet some amazing folks. And this guy I'm out of like, 33:45 I don't know, 70 80 students, only 8 of us graduated. The 33:48 program was really tough, but he would do things that would 33:52 actually encourage OS to stay focused and not let our fear 33:57 we're a loss in those kind of things. And with me, I would 34:01 say me, especially but I wasn't special. I I contacted him 34:06 years later and he did that for every student. But he would 34:09 look at what you were going to come against, what your 34:12 struggles were, what your fears were. And he would just speak 34:15 into those and an and help you through those until out of all 34:19 of the instructors. I had do my degree. And even before I did 34:23 the state board is I I know that I was able to stand for 34:29 one because of God but another because of some incredible 34:33 folks came alongside of me on that journey. 34:36 >> Wonderful. And we need to I know. Yeah, I did a lot of 34:40 questions. Just back up. Real quick. Yeah. How did you 34:42 become a 7th? They have been us Christian. I was a wonderful. 34:46 >> So so when when I met Jesus, I really felt like the next 34:51 step for me is it didn't need him. It in a drug house, 34:55 tell me to trust him. And so I I feel like it was it was a 35:00 real enough meeting. It was real enough to me that at the 35:05 time I wanted to say and what is God doing in a drug house 35:11 like I just felt that like you shouldn't even be here. So I 35:14 wanted to sneak him out the window like I didn't want to go 35:17 through the house because there's a naked guy in the 35:19 living and playing air guitar strung out on can have and all 35:22 I must say he was just he was really a wreck there trying to 35:26 protect CA. I'm trying to protect. Got from him. Haha, 35:29 I want to go out the window. But what I realize now, God 35:32 does his best work with druggies in a drug house that 35:35 nobody else would give the time of day 2. And in God says if 35:39 you can hear me right now, all spend on, I hear, you know, 35:42 and not that he goes anywhere. But you know, so anyhow. 35:45 So I left I called somebody and said I need a place to do 35:51 recovery. I need to stop using. And the only thing I knew is I 35:56 needed to stop everything like that. And in God didn't say 35:59 stop anything, right? You know, and that's what I love. And 36:03 that's what I want to say. I want to scream it from that. 36:05 The tops of the building but didn't say stop. But God didn't 36:09 say I would love you if you quit heroin. I would love you 36:12 if you could cost him. Even though John, this kind of said 36:16 didn't help that I make it to be vegetarian. Yeah, 36:20 vegetarian. But, you know, I got just said, I love you. 36:23 And that was enough that I wanted to stop everything. 36:25 But he never give me a list of things. You want to make a 36:28 change. He just said I loved and I wanted to change 36:31 everything. And so it was just what happens when you are are 36:35 completely loved. If you want to respond to that love behind 36:39 allowing yourself to kind of drop these things off. 36:42 >> The love of Christ constrains its amazing. That 36:45 doesn't let us go. Yeah. You know, like David said, 36:48 what can I render to you for all your benefits towards me? 36:53 Yeah. I mean, if you met a guy that just 36:55 you waitress, he just popped a million dollars on the table. 36:58 You don't just want to clear the table. You open the door on 37:00 unlike walk out. Yeah. And God's grace is so far it is no 37:04 value. You can add a dollar down to it. Yeah. When you get 37:08 money to way when you look at where you've come from and all 37:11 of a sudden you have this this encounter with 37:15 this perfect God who's not looking at you telling you 37:18 perfect that he loves Yemen is something that you like my 37:22 hearing voices or is it real? 37:24 >> Is this real and what I wanted to say for anybody that 37:27 has come from my background and that when you say if I met 37:30 somebody that late a million dollars on the table, it wasn't 37:33 that the late in the cash on the table because that is 37:35 happened my whole life. Wow. What he said is I love you. 37:38 And it was so genuine that it was far more valuable than a 37:42 million dollars for. I know there was nothing that I could 37:46 have seen or done or experience that that allowed me to walk 37:51 into my own skin and my own life as the love of God. 37:55 So I literally called somebody and said I just got to find a 37:58 place to clean up. And and I know for a lot of people that 38:02 know me, they heard the story. But how can I not bring on the 38:05 story is that God sent me to have begun vegetarian seven-day 38:10 ad. 38:11 >> I thought it was h***. Haha. I thought I'm actually 38:15 because I said you have PDA TD of chocolate. Yeah, anything. 38:19 And she says, well, I have lentils and I thought it looked 38:22 terrible. Like who? For some the lentils. And I remember 38:26 just thinking I'm gonna die. This is where people go. 38:29 When they misbehave their whole life, they go to a vacant home. 38:33 You know? So, but she literally. But that was your 38:36 interpretation at that point. You're like that was my 38:38 interpretation. But she saved my life and she gave me water. 38:42 She gave me can allow literally when I was falling apart. 38:46 She just kept stuff coming. I'm into my body and into my 38:51 mind that allowed me to survive. And even when she 38:55 would say like this one would be, and she would say, you 38:58 know, we need to go outside and hike. And I said, you know, 39:02 you could take I was I'm like trying to withdraw from drive 39:06 line. I'm not in any way. I'm not walking anywhere. 39:08 And I'm 23. And she's like 1000 years old and chip tighten up 39:12 and down the mountain. Then I'm thinking I'm dying here. 39:15 And I remember one point sitting down and I sat down and 39:18 I just said, I can't do this like we're in Placerville, 39:21 California, in the middle of the mountain to it. And and 39:25 she's hike in the head of me. And I remember thinking I can't 39:28 do it. And so she says all just go ahead. You sit down and 39:32 rest, not just come back and I'm like, okay. So I sat down 39:35 and I am wanting to just cry like I'm thinkin. I can't do 39:39 this. What am I thinking? I didn't bring any drugs with 39:41 man. I'm withdrawing my crazy enough artist. I just I mean 39:45 for us, I'm I'm smoking my brains out because that's the 39:47 only thing I brought with cigarettes and didn't even know 39:49 that was a drug but smoking my brains out. And and this bird 39:54 flu bird comes in to set on a branch. And I and I'm trying to 39:58 just cry and whine. And I thought you're just 40:00 interrupting my ability. That one. Yeah, and I remember 40:04 just this bird sitting there. And finally, I said the gun. 40:07 Why isn't this bird of prey to me cause I was close enough. 40:10 I could have reached out and touched him. It was ridiculous. 40:13 And all I heard from the Holy Spirit is I take care of that 40:15 bird and I will take care of you. Please trust me. Wow. 40:20 And I remember just sitting there again without word trust. 40:23 I don't know how to trust anybody. I have never been 40:26 loved. I have never been okay. I don't know where I'm going to 40:29 put my foot down. I don't know what my next step is going to 40:32 be. 40:33 >> Because of my trauma, I've made horrible decisions of my 40:36 life. Horrible choices in my life and gun from one abuse to 40:39 the next abuse to the next abuse in God is saying just 40:42 trust me. And I remember just sitting there thinking I am so 40:46 afraid you gotta do. You do have to be afraid. You don't 40:49 have to be afraid with me. And when she came back, we 40:52 hiked back down the hill back to her place. And one of the 40:56 studies that some of us and I didn't even know what the 7 as 40:59 but one of the studies was justification by faith. Wow, 41:02 I'm for that 7th and that God, I'm literally puts his robot 41:07 right to insist on asset workload in that and all of who 41:12 I am or who I think I am because we've got to that is 41:16 you are my child that write this is what the devil has 41:19 said. 2 children yet. But I'm telling you that he's a liar 41:24 and you are my child and say put his robe right assists in 41:27 those. So that study, I remember just wanting to to 41:30 weep like 41:33 I wanted to just have somebody. Please tell me that this book 41:37 is true. You know, I just wanted to weave in the U.S.. 41:40 Is this something has to be true in this crazy world? 41:43 Something has to be real in this world that we're walking 41:46 around. And and if it's not real, just please take me out 41:50 because I'm so tired. And I know I was 23, but I was 41:54 exhausted. And and so the only thing that gave me comfort was 41:59 the word of God and the truth of what God says about who we 42:02 are. That's right. And about what he's willing to do. 42:06 And even if Satan himself comes back and gives grows out a 42:09 whole list of who you are, do not believe him, you are 42:12 covered. My blood will cleanse you and I will finish the work 42:17 in you that I started in all of those verses. I want to write 42:21 them down. I wanted to so memorize everyone because I 42:24 thought I don't know. 42:27 I don't know. 42:29 >> These can I 42:31 can I trust? This is our trust arts. 42:36 >> Wow. And so this lady was the one that was the nurturing 42:39 one. She may have been chronologically older, 42:42 but you physically older than she was the emotion. All. 42:46 Yeah. So how did the transition it to the answer this question 42:49 out of that transition happen? And I have. 42:50 >> A series of questions for you. You know, what was really 42:53 interesting to me about that transition is that for her to 42:57 say, you know, the like, like 43:01 can it to a little bit about God. 43:04 >> And and so I you know, I I know this is long and I'm 43:08 sorry, but one of the things that she taught me was 43:11 definitely about Magdalene and about the woman turned in front 43:15 of Jesus. And she was caught in adultery and she was just 43:20 thrown in the dirt, probably naked. And and and it was a lot 43:24 of people around her. And they would just saying you need to 43:28 stone her to death and she is no good. And I thought my mom, 43:32 when I was 6 years old, said something. I I don't know. 43:35 She was joking or serious. But you are the bad seed that 43:39 there was nothing good in me that I that I remember that my 43:42 whole life that maybe I am just a bad scene. I was born that 43:46 way. And so so when I heard this story, she was telling me 43:50 about these men in every one of them just yelling to crucify 43:54 her. And and Jesus started writing in the sand and he 43:57 wrote every one of their traumas, every one of their 44:01 sons, every one of the times that maybe they even abuse this 44:04 woman. And what he said to them is whoever has no sin cast the 44:10 first stone. 44:12 >> And everybody one by one, drop their stones and walked 44:15 away. And I thought no way I'm so that's 44:20 that's who I met in a drug house was no condemnation. 44:24 No sense that I didn't belong there. No sense that I was in 44:27 his child. And yet this story validated that for me. And I 44:31 remember just being overwhelmed. And then she told 44:33 me about David and I thought what a scumbag he was. I mean, 44:36 killed somebody slept with this woman center has been out to 44:40 die. And I was just so like there's no way. And yet he went 44:45 into a severe depression, knowing that he turned against 44:47 gone and his life for himself wasn't worth living because of 44:52 that and was pleading with God to forgive him. And so she 44:55 reads to me some 51, if people haven't. Yeah, you've got to 44:59 read it. It's just powerful in creating the new hard given new 45:04 life. This once broken body that can even dance returned to 45:09 me. The ability to even dancer, find joy, joy, all of that 45:13 stuff. And so is it. So I thought that an amazing that he 45:16 is somebody that was incredibly good, literally had this 45:20 moment. I believe of discouragement were he was 45:23 prone to saying just 45:27 that team up with that. That sheeba I'm going after best 45:31 shiva. And and yet God brought him back to a place of healing 45:35 and forgiveness. And then the best story for me. The life 45:39 changing story for me. She says I'm gonna tell you about this 45:41 guy. 45:42 He was on glee 45:44 and that they what happened to that guy. You know what and who 45:48 was that guy was ugly inning. 45:50 He lived in a cemetery and it was cutting on himself was 45:53 down. But it was just going to see any was not son. People 45:57 were afraid of. They cast them out of cash out of town. 46:00 They actually change in mopping, broke the chain's new 46:03 is just not a nasty guy. And and and I thought, oh, 46:07 what happened to him? Because I know that guy. And so should 46:10 you know, I'm not saying that out loud, I think. And I know 46:13 that guy into said United. It was oddly, I say you did 46:17 what happened in because I'm hoping that the skinned alive, 46:20 I'm hoping that literally getting was coming. Every part 46:23 of his body is cut off and then he loses body parts and then he 46:27 gets just just living out. What you experience for the 46:31 first time I'm hearing about this guy didn't know anybody 46:33 wrote about the n word and then she says to me, did I tell you 46:36 who was an ugly? And I said to her, I think I dated that guy. 46:40 What happened? You know, like, you know, I got beat up by 46:44 hundreds of bikers that killed a 13 year-old girl that stuck a 46:48 gun up inside me that literally knocked my teeth out. A kidnap 46:52 me for 2 weeks turn initiation for new members. I know that 46:55 guy like I know that guy and what happened then I want 46:59 somebody to pay for all of this stuff that people have gone 47:02 through. And yet I'm I'm I'm kind of lost in my own trauma. 47:07 And then she says, and then Jesus clean them up, walked him 47:10 down to the water. And he was in his right mind for the first 47:13 time. 47:14 And I thought, oh, stop it. I mean, what do you mean? 47:17 Yeah, what do you mean? I'm so angry. Like, what do you mean? 47:20 He was just like walk down to the water as if you did 47:23 nothing. And I was so angry that I thought if we have gone, 47:27 that is not going to bring any justice to anybody that I don't 47:31 need it. I don't want it. And I remember just feeling so 47:34 angry into said, oh, wait, he couldn't even speak his pain, 47:40 his trauma. 47:41 But Jesus heard what his heart was sane. Please don't leave me 47:46 like this. Please don't knowing that the demons were speaking 47:50 for him. His addictions were speaking for him, but Jesus 47:53 hurt his heart say please currently getting raked. 47:57 My chained break my bondage. Get me out of this. And that's 48:01 what Jesus responded to. And I remember that that broke 48:04 me as like what if we have a God that is not responding to 48:07 your behavior that is not responding to your change is 48:10 not responding to your trauma. Is Reese five-year very hearts 48:14 cry. This is please, yeah. Don't leave me like this. 48:18 And what I learned in my own life is you never will. And so 48:21 what happened is after she shared with me that stuff, 48:24 she's I I'm now having to leave her house. And I was so afraid 48:28 like I haven't even told or until that moment, I haven't 48:31 told you that I met got I think I'm at God a nice then share 48:35 that experience. And she said when you leave here, find a 48:37 church and I'm a long way there. I was there just 48:42 >> shortly. I mean, you know, just are in recovery a few 48:44 weeks. She said finding her find a church. 48:49 >> And so now I'm going back is now. But 48:53 but when you talk to somebody that you have 48:58 that have come out of homelessness and come out of 49:02 that hold dark world and we step into the light for the 49:06 first time when you say like 49:10 >> you like go fund a church, pray for you. It's the most 49:13 frightening thing because I don't know where to go. I don't 49:16 know what to do. I don't know how to stand. I don't know even 49:20 walking into a house of God if they're going to allow me 49:22 because my own family really could care less if I came 49:26 around or not come around. Like at that point, my mum my 49:29 mom had never called my house, had never. I'm like even 49:34 probably 20 years in my recovery and never got a call 49:37 from her. Never, you know what I mean? Why do you have been in 49:40 charge and that go fund a church? And I just was so 49:43 afraid. Luckily, I did find a church. 49:46 >> And leading again. No luck. 49:49 I know. God leaving again a sorry. Thank you for that on. 49:52 >> But even finding the church state, you will find, let's say 49:55 that you find it hurt and there's 2 or 3 people that look 49:58 at you like you don't belong here. Look at the rest of them. 50:01 Yes, you know what? So there are going to be some and don't 50:04 let the devil he strategically planned when the Bible says 50:08 fight against the schemes of the enemy is because the 50:11 schemes are as I need you to feel horrible about yourself. 50:15 I need you to feel like you'll never fit in. I need you to 50:17 feel like this recovery journey is for everybody. But you and 50:21 the devil would try to do that in and out of the house of God, 50:25 but find a church, find a body. And that's what I did. And 12 50:29 of us got baptized. And Jon, I love your voice and I love your 50:33 ministry as far as music. But I cannot carry a tune. 50:37 But when I got baptized, I when reading how I want to put it, 50:41 you know, read deemed by the blood of the land. It's a all 50:45 of us saying that song before we got baptized and none of us 50:48 could even carry a tune. But it was so beautiful in the 50:52 years. Yeah. Yeah. So that was 50:55 >> my journey. And and then not knowing like I didn't tell 50:59 anybody kind of my past too much and I didn't. 51:02 >> Share a lot of that stuff. I was afraid I would get 51:05 rejected. So even going to pot like I didn't know how to 51:07 socialize. I didn't know how to, you know, things that 51:10 everybody kind of knows. I didn't know like I didn't 51:14 know when somebody makes a joke about I didn't know where to 51:17 put the civil war. 51:19 >> You didn't know at this if I didn't know where to put the 51:22 plate. Haha this over where, you know, it's just like, 51:26 you know, I didn't know anything. And then when people 51:27 do small talk, I had no idea. That's our way of kind of 51:31 allowing opening up soften the yes building that I'm a 51:35 conversation and stuff. But I just I I would leave out with 51:39 my first suicide attempt was, you know, I like. 51:42 >> And so it was just so we did kill us. You know, let me just 51:45 kind of say something that is in fact, I mean, one of my 51:48 favorite stories and scriptures. And you know that 51:50 the man that was at the pool for 38 years. Yeah, 51:53 you know, the law comes to me ask you a question, which is 51:55 literally it was the it was the genesis of me putting whole 51:59 series of lessons that I'm working on right now. He asked 52:02 him a question to do you want to be made? Well, yeah, he 52:06 didn't heal that man. He just asked him the question. Do you 52:09 want to see what the key is? And I've said this to people. 52:12 We could do what he did, which is blamed everybody for not 52:15 getting to the pool advise getting in front of him. 52:17 Nobody wants to help them. Those who do you want to be 52:20 made? Well, and I think that but that's why I want you to 52:23 tell your story. And I'm glad we allow it should be to open 52:25 up, you know, might you might think, well, the problems and 52:27 was halfway done. What you did here was necessary because 52:31 we're going to talk about the the part of you. That's it. 52:34 Yes, I want to yeah I met with. That's going to happen. And 52:38 then how you can now with all that trauma, all that 52:41 experience cod leading 52:43 Khan said Elijah Raven Issa, new Blue Jay. Yeah, 52:46 congressman, amazing ways. So we're going to you've laid 52:49 some foundation that people are probably saying, well, OK, 52:52 what about the question she's going to answer this was 52:54 necessary and that the people to understand where you came 52:57 from because a lot of times somebody might say, well, 53:00 how you gonna teach me out of 5, never flown a plane. 53:04 You've been in the drug house. Yeah, you've been through 53:06 experiences that you can even share here. But I think people 53:09 get the point. 53:10 But God found you and I'm glad you asked that question because 53:13 it was necessary to people to see. 53:15 He just say I love you, but he was going to lead you. Are the 53:19 women go? 53:21 Yeah. So now we have about 4 minutes in this first Allan on 53:24 a lace foundation down because 53:27 I need to say the Surrey, Peter, I'm glad that you're 53:31 reconnecting with us. And that's where the campus of, 53:34 you know, got to work in your life continually, as he always 53:37 is. We always says he never allows you to get an experience 53:41 on this. That experience is going to be a steppingstone or 53:44 rope to help pull somebody else out of their experience. 53:47 So when that are some questions at you in the second now and 53:49 all the time. 53:50 >> Viewers and listeners know who'd been granted think 53:53 calling the questions. But there's so much John Pack. 53:56 I think that's for another program. Another poll that I 53:58 before you unfold anything I just have to. Yeah. Yeah. 54:01 The 54:03 >> one of the coolest things. So as I was standing up and 54:07 stop doing drugs, I thought if I stop doing drugs, everything 54:10 is well, everything is fine. And so I stopped heroin. 54:13 Then I stopped alcohol and I stopped working in clubs and I 54:17 stopped all of my relational addictions and all of that kind 54:20 of stuff that help me get through the day in one life and 54:25 stepped into another one. I thought my journey was done 54:28 like I've done the work, hang out and I was just coming out. 54:32 And so even as I stood out and I wanted to tell the next 54:36 person, man, when you stop everything changes and 54:41 literally everything changes as you bring Christ into life, 54:44 everything changes, however, literally stepping out was like 54:49 one half of the first step. And I've said this before. 54:52 It's like buying a ticket to the movie. It's not the movie, 54:55 right? It's just the ticket. So abstinent stopping something 54:59 is just the ticket into your life. Trying to rest of the 55:03 stuff is a journey. So literally as I stop and then 55:06 someone heard last story wanted to write a book. And at first I 55:10 said no, but I was working with gang members at the time trying 55:12 to do recovery stuffing. I'm working with these 55:15 gangsters. And and and so I thought, OK, let's write a book 55:18 as we can give it to them. And then 3 ABN wanted to do an 55:22 interview. And I'm standing that is sitting there and I 55:25 talked about wanting to get in the ministry. 55:27 >> And and he said to me, and I just will never forget this. 55:30 He said, well, what do you need in order to get into ministry? 55:34 And I thought and I thought why need funding still need 55:37 funding? They need to find him. And he's so how much do you 55:41 need? And this is in between said the show and the ending 55:44 right where we have the outside port. We need to sell on the 55:47 boy because of the show and that the porch. And I said, 55:51 I think for running a ministry for a year, I need about 55:54 $25,000. And I thought that's huge. 55:58 And any said $25,000 him in the end and now they're putting me 56:04 on the porch and kind of getting the lighting ready for 56:07 them to stop. And then he comes in and you simply sits down. 56:10 Gives me a check for $25,000 in clothes. It's a show out. 56:13 Wow. And I'm thinking what just happened? Yeah. What just 56:18 happened and what was really incredible to me is is Danny 56:22 statement far more than the money? But it's Danny statement 56:25 about believing that wherever God is going to lead next, 56:30 that he's got you to try. And so that was so powerful to 56:34 me. And I think that we forget that God has us people come 56:38 around you and they will bless you and your recovery is hard 56:41 work and it is hard work. And there are times that you're 56:44 going to have to grieve in their time that you're going to 56:46 have to literally walk through kind of some of that trauma but 56:50 know that God is faithful. That right. 56:53 >> How my wife, you read this short statement before we go to 56:56 the end of the first hour, powerful chachere unit. You 56:59 need to come back for the 2nd half of the that road yet. 57:01 This is from you. 57:02 >> You'll worth is not determined by your achievements 57:06 of the opinions of all this. You off valuable 57:11 simply because you fearfully and wonderfully made. That was 57:16 beautiful. Just beautiful. That's it. That's part of your 57:18 saying here. Yeah, the truth. And as we have to remember that 57:23 the law defines us. 57:25 >> And leaves his what he finds this. People always say love 57:27 the Lord loves you as you are. But enough to lead the way you 57:30 find 2, which is about 57:33 how the first hour just west of Baja. 57:36 >> Don't go away because now we're going to be throwing some 57:38 questions that Sri him and you don't want to miss them. 57:41 We're going to go away and we'll be right back. 57:44 [MUSIC] 57:49 [MUSIC] 57:54 [MUSIC] |
Revised 2024-08-10