Welcome back to our 3ABN
Thursday Night Live, not on the
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regular set in studio A,
we're here in studio B with this
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beautiful set that the crew has
done an amazing job preparing
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and just sharing, sharing
from our hearts, sharing with
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authenticity and transparency
how God has worked in our
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lives, some of those broken
places in our lives and how
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He's working to bring healing
in our own hearts, in our
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marriages, and in our families.
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Here with my sisters tonight
as we talk about boundaries,
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harmonizing work and life.
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The first hour Angela shared
about her marriage with her
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husband.
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for him and worked on
establishing those boundaries,
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and then how he
became a Christian.
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And then the boundaries they
have as a Christian couple now
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and in their family.
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Dr. Yvonne Shelton
shared powerful testimony on
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forgiveness.
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Forgiveness in her life that
she extended to other people,
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and then another amazing almost
salvation type of testimony,
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which was incredible.
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But if you're just joining
us, our family here tonight, my
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sister, Dr. Yvonne Shelton,
my sister, Shelly Quinn, my
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sister, Angela Vandervalk,
and my sister, Rise Rafferty.
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You know it's funny, Pastor
John Lomacane recently came
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back from overseas, and he said
when he came back, you know,
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they really believe over
there that you and Shelly are
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sisters, biological sisters.
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Because we always say on
Salvation panel, my sister so
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and so.
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women as biological sisters too.
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And I love that.
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You know, if we walk in the
light as he is in the light, we
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have fellowship
with one another.
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And that's that spiritual
koinonia, that connection that
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God gives us.
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So jumping in, let's move
over to sister Rise Rafferty and
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talk to us about health and
boundaries and whatever's on
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your heart.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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So you know, a little bit more
about how I define boundaries
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or what's really helped me to
understand boundaries better is
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through the lens of God's book
in nature and through our own
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physiology.
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created us, he
created us with many members.
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We have lots of different
parts, and all of those parts
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have boundaries.
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So there are boundaries to
my stomach, and that's what
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defines it as a boundary or
boundaries to my heart, and yet
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at the same time, they're one.
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You know, so boundaries are
not meant to be isolating or
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alienating.
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They're actually meant for
us to be able to have a healthy
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space that I can interact and
give and receive to others and
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communicate, and I was thinking
about this like at a cellular
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level.
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When you look at what we're
made out of, we're made out of,
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you know, trillions of cells,
right, and all these cells have
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what's called a membrane,
and that membrane is their
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boundary.
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It contains what's within it.
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It defines what it is.
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And yet, you know, we think
of that membrane as just like a
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wall or a border, and yet they
really call the membrane the
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brain of the cell because it's
at the membrane where there's
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all these receptors to
communicate with the outside
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world and where those receptors
have ability to transform
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what's going on inside of
the cell and elicit all kinds of
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biochemical reactions and
stuff, and so when I think of
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boundaries and healthy I think,
isn't it beautiful how God
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designed boundaries to function.
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They were to be a place where I
would meet with my neighbor and
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we could safely, hopefully,
respectfully interact and
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communicate with each other
and be a blessing to one another
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and become one and yet
still retain this amazing
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individuality.
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And I see this as God's
signature in nature everywhere,
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kind of like what I said
earlier that when he created
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things he divided it and yet,
this is kind of crazy, I look
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at Ezekiel's wheel within
the wheel so here we have, you
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know, oh here's land and
here's water and then we get to
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Ezekiel and he's like, he's so
confusing because he's talking
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about this wheel within a wheel
and we can't picture what that
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is and yet again when you study
health and science even more
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and you're like, wow,
we're made out of atoms.
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It's all these wheels within
a wheel that are circulating and
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going crazy it looks like to us
and even there when we look at
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the atom which we think of as a
single one unit, I'm not trying
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to geek out on you guys but you
know, I'm just trying to think
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this is God's handiwork, right,
that you look even at the atom
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and the atom can give part of
itself to another thing and it
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becomes something else, you
know, and it's a way of joining
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and forming molecules and bonds
and that's what this world is
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structured out of and so
our boundaries are so important
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when it comes to our emotional
health and our spiritual health
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and our social relationships
that you know who I am, I know
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who you are and therefore
when we connect I can connect
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uniquely with Angela in a
way that I don't connect with
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someone else because of my
knowledge of her and how at
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that border how we interact
like two kids on a fence.
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You know what I'm saying?
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It's kind of playing with each
other or something and so it's
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this interactive beautiful
thing and again if I don't have
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definable boundaries then the
relationships can become really
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unhealthy whether that's social
relationships or emotionally or
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socially or physically and
I was thinking about how like
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diabetes is a boundary problem,
it's a boundary problem at the
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cell.
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know on the lining of our
intestines and that opens the
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doorway floodgates
for all kinds of disease.
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Our blood brain barrier is
supposed to be a barrier but
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it's a semi-permeable one where
it selectively allows things in
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and again just I want to
you know just emphasize this
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concept that the boundary is
a place where there's fluidity
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and there's interaction
and exchange right where the
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intestinal barrier is one where
I take in all these nutrients
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and all these things that
seem separate from me but now
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they're becoming a part of
me and a boundary crossing but
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that's anyway it's just I think
it's absolutely fascinating how
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God does I look at them
like I don't know how anyone can
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really not see the
design you know what I mean?
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And the core principle of
God at work which is living and
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receiving to give you know that
nothing in nature lives into
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itself and so when I
create boundaries or I establish
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boundaries with a friend or
with my husband or something
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it's not just saying no to
something it's saying yes to
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something else you know like
when my husband used to come
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home and he would be working
all day long and I'm just like
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waiting to see him and then
And he's got so much work to do,
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he's on his
computer, on his phone.
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And I got to the point
where I just hated those things.
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I just wanted to throw them out
the window, or I was thinking,
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imagine myself, you
know, destroying them.
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Yeah, I know.
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But...
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Right.
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Yeah.
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need to have some boundaries
where there is work time, and
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then it stops.
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Right?
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And I get emergencies
and all that kind of stuff.
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And when James finally bought
into the idea that he wasn't
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just saying no to work, but
he was saying yes to pillow talk
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time and a happy wife.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like, and happy life.
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And he was like, no.
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an illustration, just to
emphasize that it's not a bad
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thing, it's
actually a really good thing.
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Right.
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boundaries that would
support a healthy lifestyle?
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And it's fascinating how my
acting out or behaving within
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boundaries allows for my
internal boundaries to function
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optimally.
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And how that translates.
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Actually, I can change how my
internal boundaries function by
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having appropriate boundaries
that I live on a daily basis.
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And when you think about it,
like, I have a lot of patients
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who will tell me, I don't
have time to exercise or I hate
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cooking and
therefore I'm not going to.
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And I was like, I get that.
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You know, you're busy
and you don't enjoy cooking.
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And those are legitimate, right?
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But if you want to experience
optimization of your own
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internal body boundaries,
whether that is with diabetes
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or a leaky gut or with brain
health or, you know, wherever
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that is, somehow we've got to
establish boundaries externally
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that aren't based on how I feel.
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Right?
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these are healthy boundaries.
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You know what I mean?
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them.
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So yeah, so I was thinking,
wow, exercise is an experience
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that takes time and boundaries.
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I'm going to make time for
this on a consistent basis.
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And it's not something I'm just
going to, oh, maybe someday,
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right?
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component of, so I
make boundaries around it.
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And sometimes there are
time boundaries, sometimes they
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might be, I've had people tell
me, I can't exercise at home
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because my husband makes fun
of me, or something like that.
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You know, if I try exercising,
you know, within the home.
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And that's an opportunity, I
mean, that would be a boundary
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that you could
express to your husband.
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Sorry, I'm deviating here.
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But you know, like, wow, you
know, when you make fun of me
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when I'm exercising, something
that I'm really, it's already
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hard for me to do, you
know, it's discouraging me.
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And so, I'm going to ask you
not to make fun of me anymore.
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You think it's funny,
but it's not funny to me.
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You know, and you can
communicate that as a healthy
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boundary.
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then you're
going to lock the door.
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I'm going to lock the door.
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Something like that.
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You know, I can't have you
in this space and tease me.
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Not that your husband would
do that, I just use that as an
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illustration of, you
Because I think those are really
00:10:23.32\00:10:29.89
important to have, yeah,
commitment to boundaries.
00:10:29.89\00:10:33.43
I was just thinking, or your
husband could be like Greg, who
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exercises with me.
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One of those people who don't,
it's not my favorite thing to
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exercise, so he says, oh,
Jilly, let's do it together.
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Every morning,
we do it together.
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And he always says, oh, aren't
you looking so cute there?
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And I'm like, focus, you're
supposed to be exercising.
00:10:47.38\00:10:49.74
It's like our little romantic
bonding time over exercise.
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That's great.
00:10:54.25\00:10:54.78
I love it.
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That's great.
00:10:55.65\00:10:55.82
Supporting you.
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That's great.
00:10:56.65\00:10:56.82
Yeah.
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I feel like that is great.
00:10:57.69\00:10:58.82
Yeah, and we need
that in every area of life.
00:10:58.95\00:11:00.62
You know, sticking to
boundaries, I think that once
00:11:00.76\00:11:02.69
we establish our boundaries,
it's really important to own
00:11:02.69\00:11:08.50
them, to respect them ourselves.
00:11:08.50\00:11:10.17
If we don't respect our
own boundaries, then people are
00:11:10.43\00:11:13.00
going to walk all over us, and
life is going to walk all over
00:11:13.00\00:11:15.34
us, and it's going to happen
without our intentional say.
00:11:15.34\00:11:19.44
That's right.
00:11:19.61\00:11:20.14
You know what I mean?
00:11:20.14\00:11:20.54
Yes.
00:11:20.78\00:11:25.75
be able to define my boundaries
and what I'm about today and
00:11:25.75\00:11:29.38
who I am, and that actually
living a healthy life is really
00:11:29.38\00:11:32.55
important for me because I
like the results type of thing.
00:11:32.55\00:11:35.36
People think I love to cook.
00:11:35.59\00:11:36.66
No, I don't love to cook.
00:11:36.83\00:11:37.63
I do it because
I like the results.
00:11:37.66\00:11:38.96
My husband likes my food.
00:11:39.36\00:11:40.60
I enjoy eating my food.
00:11:40.76\00:11:42.16
So that's what I think I eat
better when I cook, or whatever
00:11:42.96\00:11:46.43
it is.
00:11:46.43\00:11:47.00
You know what I'm saying?
00:11:47.07\00:11:50.91
do, and Dad, I think that
permeates so many different
00:11:50.91\00:11:54.91
areas of our life.
00:11:54.91\00:11:55.94
I mentioned exercise, food, you
know, just that we think about
00:11:56.14\00:11:59.41
these things and define them.
00:11:59.41\00:12:01.02
And I was thinking how in the
Bible, when it says, you know,
00:12:01.05\00:12:04.25
let your yea be yea and your
no no, that you're really...
00:12:04.32\00:12:09.49
I was looking at it
through the lens of boundaries.
00:12:09.49\00:12:11.29
Amen.
00:12:11.49\00:12:11.86
You know?
00:12:12.16\00:12:16.23
it's to my child, I mean no.
00:12:16.23\00:12:18.40
That's good.
00:12:18.50\00:12:22.24
time or this is important to
me, and I say no, I reinforce
00:12:22.24\00:12:25.61
that myself.
00:12:25.61\00:12:26.41
I'm not the bad guy
because I'm sticking by that.
00:12:26.64\00:12:29.08
I can come across as the bad
guy or people can perceive me
00:12:29.24\00:12:31.78
that way, but ultimately I have
to be true to my boundaries.
00:12:31.78\00:12:35.22
And I think our boundaries are
set up because they demarcate
00:12:35.28\00:12:39.59
what is like life
sustaining and giving and what's
00:12:39.59\00:12:43.83
destructive and
bad behavior, right?
00:12:43.83\00:12:46.26
And I'm so glad you stuck with
your husband, but I don't think
00:12:46.76\00:12:48.83
all women need to stick with
their bad behaving husbands.
00:12:48.83\00:12:51.27
Do you know what I'm saying?
00:12:51.53\00:12:54.90
sort of thing.
00:12:54.90\00:12:58.84
You know what I'm saying?
00:12:58.91\00:13:01.91
woman within a relationship.
00:13:01.91\00:13:03.61
For example, physical abuse.
00:13:05.01\00:13:06.68
Physical abuse.
00:13:07.08\00:13:10.75
that.
00:13:10.75\00:13:11.42
And just keep getting abused.
00:13:11.42\00:13:12.72
You set that boundary.
00:13:12.95\00:13:13.72
You're not touching me.
00:13:13.92\00:13:14.92
Yeah.
00:13:14.92\00:13:15.26
Right?
00:13:15.49\00:13:18.19
I have to step out of that.
00:13:18.19\00:13:19.66
Exactly.
00:13:19.66\00:13:20.20
You know what you said I love
because boundaries, we think of
00:13:20.90\00:13:25.30
them sometimes as being
restricting, but they're
00:13:25.30\00:13:28.37
protecting everything
that you've explained.
00:13:28.37\00:13:31.31
And that's what I think about
like God's Ten Commandments.
00:13:31.44\00:13:34.08
I saw this somewhere in Mexico
in the high mountains and it
00:13:34.24\00:13:40.05
had this path that was going
down that was maybe that wide
00:13:40.05\00:13:44.22
and people are going
down on a donkey or something.
00:13:44.22\00:13:46.96
And I'm thinking, you know,
that's kind of like the narrow
00:13:47.22\00:13:50.26
path of life.
00:13:50.26\00:13:51.46
And if there was a fence up
along there, you wouldn't look
00:13:51.49\00:13:55.26
at that like, oh, I
wish this fence weren't here.
00:13:55.26\00:13:59.07
You look at it as protection
and that's like what God did
00:13:59.47\00:14:02.17
with his Ten Commandments.
00:14:02.17\00:14:03.37
That's what God does with us.
00:14:03.77\00:14:05.27
Absolutely.
00:14:05.54\00:14:09.28
because you've
set my heart free.
00:14:09.28\00:14:10.98
And his commandments are really
like, I was looking at the
00:14:10.98\00:14:14.42
first four and like
God was setting boundaries.
00:14:14.42\00:14:16.42
Absolutely.
00:14:16.62\00:14:20.29
I want it to be exclusive.
00:14:20.72\00:14:21.99
I want to be who I am in this
relationship and not who you
00:14:22.52\00:14:25.96
think I am, right?
00:14:25.96\00:14:27.03
And he outlines, I mean,
I'm putting, I'm not quoting the
00:14:27.13\00:14:30.73
commandments specifically,
but that's what I see in them as
00:14:30.73\00:14:33.27
boundaries that he is defining
the relationship and this is
00:14:33.27\00:14:36.91
how, yeah, to relate to
me and to be close to me.
00:14:36.91\00:14:40.68
And if you don't spend time
with me on my sabbath, or if
00:14:40.98\00:14:44.38
you disrespect my name, we're
not going to be as close as we
00:14:44.38\00:14:48.02
would be, right?
00:14:48.02\00:14:49.02
That's kind of, so
there's this, I don't know,
00:14:49.25\00:14:51.99
responsibility, I guess, that
comes along with honoring each
00:14:52.32\00:14:55.06
other's boundaries.
00:14:55.06\00:14:55.92
I was thinking of financially,
I don't know, you have a bank
00:14:56.32\00:15:00.70
account, Shelley, and I'm sure
you have pass codes around it
00:15:00.70\00:15:04.60
and you ensure that where
you have your money, there's
00:15:04.60\00:15:07.20
boundaries
around it to protect it.
00:15:07.20\00:15:09.57
Why wouldn't you give me your
passcode to your bank account?
00:15:09.94\00:15:12.67
Yeah, because, you know,
there's so many people who are
00:15:12.77\00:15:15.84
boundary busters and when
we think about God, even when
00:15:15.84\00:15:19.35
we're boundary busters
with God, he says, I'm with you
00:15:19.35\00:15:23.82
while you're with me, but if
you reject me, I'll reject you.
00:15:23.82\00:15:27.39
We have to protect the
relationship between husband
00:15:27.79\00:15:33.76
and wife, the relationship
between the financial, and I
00:15:33.76\00:15:37.63
don't know where you're going
with this, but I just think
00:15:37.63\00:15:40.54
that all boundaries
are for our protection.
00:15:40.54\00:15:43.71
They are.
00:15:43.84\00:15:48.14
finite.
00:15:48.14\00:15:48.54
So when I set boundaries,
I'm acknowledging I'm not God.
00:15:49.68\00:15:52.65
I can't fill all your
needs, whether it's emotionally.
00:15:53.38\00:15:55.95
I can't fill your needs,
you know, in every single way or
00:15:55.95\00:15:59.79
I'm not going to give you
the access to my bank account
00:15:59.79\00:16:02.96
because I have limited
resources and I don't know how
00:16:02.96\00:16:05.89
much you shop yet.
00:16:05.89\00:16:06.86
Do you know what I'm saying?
00:16:07.00\00:16:07.50
Don't tell Angela
because she got the degree.
00:16:09.53\00:16:12.63
Because I have limited funds
and those funds I'm responsible
00:16:13.34\00:16:17.41
for, you know, doing the best
that I can with them and taking
00:16:17.41\00:16:21.61
care of the things
that I need to take care of.
00:16:21.61\00:16:24.88
And I see that kind of
the same way with ourselves.
00:16:24.88\00:16:28.05
We have limited resources
and I can't do everything and be
00:16:28.35\00:16:33.15
everything and I
have certain energy.
00:16:33.15\00:16:36.26
Do you know what I'm saying?
00:16:36.46\00:16:37.13
That's right.
00:16:37.19\00:16:37.59
And I'm human.
00:16:37.59\00:16:38.36
And so therefore I set
boundaries to sleep enough
00:16:38.66\00:16:41.46
because if I don't, I'm
not going to be able to give my
00:16:41.46\00:16:44.77
best to whatever it is that
I have during the day if I'm
00:16:44.77\00:16:47.84
sickly or, you know, I'm going
to set boundaries on myself for
00:16:47.84\00:16:51.11
these purposes so that I can
really show up and be the best
00:16:51.11\00:16:55.64
person I can be, you
know, on a daily basis.
00:16:55.64\00:16:58.05
So kind of like what you
were saying, protecting but also
00:16:58.58\00:17:01.05
acknowledging I do have limited
resources and therefore that's
00:17:01.05\00:17:05.15
why these boundaries are there.
00:17:05.15\00:17:06.55
I love that, Recy.
00:17:06.79\00:17:07.89
I think that's so important.
00:17:07.92\00:17:09.42
Knowing, acknowledging that
we are not God, that we can't,
00:17:10.63\00:17:13.80
we're not super women.
00:17:13.90\00:17:15.60
You know, super human beings.
00:17:15.93\00:17:17.83
I mean, we're human beings.
00:17:17.97\00:17:19.60
And we have a kind of an energy
bank that we're drawing from.
00:17:19.60\00:17:24.07
And if we're not
careful, we'll overdraw.
00:17:24.57\00:17:26.81
So we set boundaries so that we
don't overdraw from that energy
00:17:27.31\00:17:31.91
bank.
00:17:31.91\00:17:34.18
And when I set a boundary,
it's not a personal thing.
00:17:34.22\00:17:37.25
Right.
00:17:37.32\00:17:40.26
with you on whatever it is.
00:17:40.26\00:17:41.46
I don't know, I should probably
think of an example, but it's
00:17:42.66\00:17:44.99
just, no, this is
defining, again, me.
00:17:44.99\00:17:48.10
This is my individuality
and I'm retaining it while I'm
00:17:48.10\00:17:50.63
still interacting and
wanting to give to you.
00:17:50.63\00:17:52.93
But up to this
point, maybe a no further.
00:17:52.93\00:17:54.90
I've got a good example that
just came to mind when you were
00:17:55.10\00:17:57.84
saying that.
00:17:57.84\00:17:58.31
There are times that, you know,
I have to budget my time so
00:17:59.14\00:18:02.81
that I can get
major projects done.
00:18:02.81\00:18:04.68
And there are some people who
I'm ministering to, they call
00:18:05.18\00:18:09.75
and they want, they'll talk for
an hour, hour and a half, you
00:18:09.75\00:18:12.65
can't get them off the phone.
00:18:12.65\00:18:13.56
So what I've done
is there's a boundary.
00:18:13.56\00:18:16.59
When I'm doing work
hours, I will text them.
00:18:16.99\00:18:20.40
But I can, the text is like a
gate that I can let them in and
00:18:21.43\00:18:26.84
then I can shut the gate
because it protects that time.
00:18:26.84\00:18:30.07
So I think that when we think
of a boundary, it doesn't mean
00:18:30.57\00:18:33.98
that we're not
letting someone in.
00:18:33.98\00:18:36.01
It means that we're gatekeepers.
00:18:36.28\00:18:38.75
We're letting them
into a healthy space.
00:18:39.18\00:18:40.78
Yes.
00:18:40.82\00:18:41.38
Right?
00:18:41.38\00:18:41.85
Yes.
00:18:41.85\00:18:42.12
Yeah.
00:18:42.38\00:18:42.85
That's what it is, I think.
00:18:43.05\00:18:44.65
Boy, something you said
that I wanted to jump off of in
00:18:45.79\00:18:48.72
relation to health.
00:18:48.72\00:18:49.89
I was thinking of, what
was it that you just said?
00:18:50.63\00:18:55.26
That you have, I don't know.
00:18:55.70\00:18:59.03
Well, I love what you said
earlier too, Risi, about, you
00:19:01.90\00:19:06.34
know, just the way
our bodies are designed.
00:19:06.34\00:19:09.74
Isn't that?
00:19:10.81\00:19:11.35
It's phenomenal.
00:19:11.35\00:19:12.58
And when you bring it, you
know, when you start thinking
00:19:13.08\00:19:15.88
about how God has designed
these bodies, it makes you say,
00:19:15.88\00:19:20.59
it makes you scratch your head.
00:19:20.86\00:19:21.86
How can anybody think
that we weren't designed?
00:19:22.12\00:19:24.93
How could anybody think
that this is just random?
00:19:25.49\00:19:28.03
It's just amazing.
00:19:28.90\00:19:29.93
Yeah.
00:19:30.10\00:19:35.34
take care of this amazing gift
that He gave us, which is our
00:19:35.34\00:19:38.91
lives and our health.
00:19:38.91\00:19:40.08
And that when we, because a
lot of times I think we think of
00:19:40.08\00:19:42.78
boundaries imposing on other
people, but I need boundaries
00:19:42.78\00:19:45.78
me, right?
00:19:45.78\00:19:46.72
Like I said, this is for myself.
00:19:46.82\00:19:48.52
I can't impose boundaries
necessarily on other people.
00:19:48.65\00:19:51.05
They're for me.
00:19:51.22\00:19:52.09
And I see health as really
intimately interacting with, do
00:19:52.39\00:19:57.33
I have healthy
boundaries for myself?
00:19:57.33\00:19:59.46
That is the best place to start
in order for me to see then
00:19:59.56\00:20:02.90
that manifested internally
in terms of my physical health.
00:20:02.90\00:20:06.10
That's beautiful.
00:20:06.27\00:20:07.14
You've given me so
much to think about.
00:20:07.17\00:20:08.40
I'm just thinking we could sit
an hour and learn from that as
00:20:08.40\00:20:11.24
powerful research.
00:20:11.24\00:20:12.17
Let's switch and talk a little
bit about ministry, Shelley,
00:20:12.47\00:20:15.28
boundaries and ministry
and what does that look like?
00:20:15.91\00:20:17.91
You kind of reference that with
that story with sending a text
00:20:17.91\00:20:20.78
instead of always
talking on the phone.
00:20:20.78\00:20:22.32
It's interesting when I got
this assignment, I was looking
00:20:22.55\00:20:25.89
at it and my topic is
divided into three, avoid common
00:20:25.89\00:20:30.96
pitfalls, balance personal and
ministry responsibilities and I
00:20:30.96\00:20:36.83
anchored to your calling and
I'm thinking, let me start with
00:20:36.83\00:20:41.60
this is setting
boundaries on ourself here.
00:20:41.60\00:20:44.47
We find in second Corinthians
chapter 10 and verse five that
00:20:44.51\00:20:50.51
we are to take every thought
captive and make it obedient to
00:20:50.51\00:20:55.48
Christ.
00:20:55.48\00:20:55.95
So let's talk
about common pitfalls.
00:20:56.35\00:20:58.82
And when we talk about
ministry, if you are a mother,
00:20:59.19\00:21:03.36
guess what?
00:21:03.69\00:21:04.36
You're in full-time ministry.
00:21:04.39\00:21:05.73
So we're not just talking
that somebody that works for the
00:21:06.13\00:21:10.27
church or at an evangelistic
type thing, ministry is
00:21:10.27\00:21:16.30
ministry.
00:21:16.30\00:21:16.87
Now here's the void, the
common pitfalls, the most common
00:21:17.47\00:21:21.01
pitfall and you can ask anybody
that comes to work at 3ABN,
00:21:21.01\00:21:24.58
first thing I tell them, I take
them aside and I say, if I ever
00:21:24.75\00:21:29.12
see you develop an ounce of
pride, I'm going to take you
00:21:29.12\00:21:32.52
off at the knees
before God has to.
00:21:32.52\00:21:34.96
And I say that in absolute love.
00:21:35.99\00:21:38.76
You know, I'm just warning them
because pride is, if you buy
00:21:39.23\00:21:45.27
into the hype that you're
the best, somebody's telling you
00:21:45.27\00:21:50.61
how good you are, if you think
that you're better than anyone
00:21:50.61\00:21:54.24
else, guess what?
00:21:54.24\00:21:55.21
You are not going to be
able to stand in ministry.
00:21:55.54\00:22:00.28
And it's interesting when we
look at, Jesus was speaking to
00:22:00.28\00:22:06.12
the synagogue leaders and
in John 12 43, it said these
00:22:06.12\00:22:12.29
people were believing in him,
but they weren't standing up
00:22:12.29\00:22:16.00
for him.
00:22:16.00\00:22:16.50
Why?
00:22:16.73\00:22:20.97
God.
00:22:20.97\00:22:21.54
And see, we can get like that
ourselves where maybe we've not
00:22:22.20\00:22:27.48
been affirmed as a child.
00:22:27.48\00:22:29.18
Maybe we need that affirmation.
00:22:29.61\00:22:31.78
Somebody starts
telling you something.
00:22:32.08\00:22:33.75
You can fall into the trap of
loving praise of men more than
00:22:34.08\00:22:39.79
self.
00:22:39.79\00:22:40.02
Goes right along with this.
00:22:40.89\00:22:42.32
Don't be offended
by criticism, what?
00:22:42.72\00:22:45.43
You know, the Lord told me
once, the spirit of offense is
00:22:47.13\00:22:52.70
the spirit of pride.
00:22:52.70\00:22:54.34
Think about that for a minute.
00:22:54.90\00:22:56.27
You cannot be offended unless
your pride has been wounded.
00:22:56.27\00:23:00.84
And in John 2 24 and 25
says that Jesus didn't entrust
00:23:01.51\00:23:06.51
himself to anyone because he
knew what was in the heart of
00:23:06.51\00:23:10.79
men.
00:23:10.79\00:23:14.79
there something I
can learn from this?
00:23:14.79\00:23:16.32
If not, then I think I'm
not going to let that offend me
00:23:16.62\00:23:20.46
because that's my pride.
00:23:20.46\00:23:22.00
So I pray about it
and give it to the Lord.
00:23:22.06\00:23:24.67
Also, don't compare
yourself with others.
00:23:24.67\00:23:28.37
That fosters pride
more than anything else.
00:23:28.90\00:23:32.41
If you start making a
comparison, and it can go both
00:23:32.81\00:23:36.38
directions, I mean, you
can start thinking less of
00:23:36.38\00:23:40.08
yourself.
00:23:40.08\00:23:40.52
And you know what?
00:23:40.78\00:23:41.45
That's a prideful thought too.
00:23:41.48\00:23:43.08
What do I mean?
00:23:43.39\00:23:44.39
You are not who you think you
are, who anyone else says you
00:23:45.05\00:23:49.09
are.
00:23:49.09\00:23:49.46
You're who God says you are.
00:23:49.76\00:23:50.96
So you're being prideful if you
start thinking very little of
00:23:50.96\00:23:56.16
yourself.
00:23:56.16\00:24:01.07
So those are
three common pitfalls.
00:24:01.54\00:24:04.27
We want to give God
the glory, of course.
00:24:04.67\00:24:07.24
I don't care if you're a
wonderful cook, whatever you're
00:24:08.51\00:24:11.28
good at.
00:24:11.28\00:24:11.85
We want to always give God
the glory because we can't take
00:24:12.51\00:24:16.72
credit for anything
that we do that's good.
00:24:16.72\00:24:18.92
He's the one
who has equipped us.
00:24:18.92\00:24:21.32
What do you have
that wasn't given to you?
00:24:21.86\00:24:24.23
He not only provides us
the talents and the spiritual
00:24:24.43\00:24:28.33
gifts, but even
the opportunities.
00:24:28.33\00:24:30.30
Obviously, avoid the attitude
of self-assurance because our
00:24:31.80\00:24:35.44
assurance should be in God.
00:24:35.44\00:24:36.67
We've got to take
those thoughts captive.
00:24:37.21\00:24:41.51
We need to become like Jesus.
00:24:41.74\00:24:45.15
The Bible definition, if
you look at pride, pride is
00:24:46.11\00:24:53.09
reliance on self.
00:24:53.09\00:24:54.86
In Philippians 2, it says, Let
this mind be in you that was in
00:24:55.39\00:24:59.53
Christ Jesus,
who humbled himself.
00:24:59.53\00:25:01.76
Humility is how
you overcome pride.
00:25:02.90\00:25:05.40
Jesus was so humble.
00:25:05.70\00:25:06.84
He only did what the
Father said, only spoke what the
00:25:06.84\00:25:09.70
Father said.
00:25:09.70\00:25:10.17
Now, I'm going to say this one.
00:25:10.54\00:25:11.97
Tell me how it
hits you as a Christian.
00:25:12.17\00:25:14.34
Here's another common pitfall.
00:25:14.98\00:25:16.54
You can't be all
things to all people.
00:25:17.68\00:25:20.98
And there are people who will
suck the spiritual life right
00:25:21.98\00:25:26.42
out of you.
00:25:26.42\00:25:27.02
Molly Steenson used to
call them spiritual leeches.
00:25:28.76\00:25:32.39
And there was a point to that.
00:25:33.36\00:25:35.26
I had a conference president
came up and was talking with me
00:25:36.43\00:25:40.27
once.
00:25:40.27\00:25:46.91
supposed to be writing this
book, but I'm doing this, and
00:25:46.91\00:25:49.14
all these people are calling.
00:25:49.14\00:25:50.38
And it was going, going, going.
00:25:50.58\00:25:52.21
And so he said to me, Oh,
Shelley, I'll just bet, you
00:25:52.81\00:25:57.22
know, I was talking
about who I was ministering to.
00:25:57.22\00:25:59.25
He says, Oh, you're
making the devil so happy.
00:25:59.42\00:26:01.82
And I said, Pardon me.
00:26:02.32\00:26:03.69
He said, You're doing
all those good things.
00:26:03.89\00:26:05.56
You're making
the devil so happy.
00:26:05.63\00:26:07.60
And I said, Pardon me.
00:26:07.96\00:26:09.46
And he said, Satan's
really quite happy when you busy
00:26:09.46\00:26:13.90
yourself with little menial
things, and we think they're
00:26:13.90\00:26:17.47
good.
00:26:17.47\00:26:18.07
But he said, if he can keep you
from doing the greatest thing
00:26:18.71\00:26:22.58
that God's called you
to, that's what he's after.
00:26:22.58\00:26:25.78
And that's an
interesting thought.
00:26:26.11\00:26:27.68
So I was thinking about this,
you know, the Bible in Song of
00:26:28.18\00:26:32.32
Solomon, it talks about
the little foxes that spoil the
00:26:32.32\00:26:35.79
vine.
00:26:35.79\00:26:40.50
calls during special time,
because those little foxes can
00:26:40.50\00:26:44.30
spoil the vine in a hurry.
00:26:44.30\00:26:45.60
But, you know, somebody
might be saying, Oh, that sounds
00:26:47.00\00:26:49.30
awful to say, like, you
shouldn't be doing this.
00:26:49.30\00:26:52.01
You can't be all
things to all people.
00:26:52.14\00:26:53.81
Jesus, in Mark 1, 37 through
38, they're looking for Jesus,
00:26:54.28\00:26:58.85
but he's keeping his mind on
the big picture of his purpose.
00:26:59.08\00:27:04.09
And his disciples come to him
and they say, Hey, everybody's
00:27:04.09\00:27:08.49
looking for you.
00:27:08.49\00:27:09.19
Let's go there.
00:27:09.42\00:27:10.69
Everybody's ready to
listen to you to pray.
00:27:10.89\00:27:13.93
And Jesus said to them, this
is Mark 1, 37, let's go to the
00:27:14.00\00:27:19.57
next towns.
00:27:19.57\00:27:20.37
Even though everybody
there wanted him to stay and
00:27:20.97\00:27:24.54
minister, he says that I may
preach there also, because for
00:27:24.54\00:27:27.94
this purpose I've come forth.
00:27:27.94\00:27:29.41
Now, another one
is to avoid burnout.
00:27:30.01\00:27:33.58
Mm-hmm.
00:27:34.05\00:27:35.35
This is where
you learn to say no.
00:27:35.95\00:27:37.92
You've got to set that boundary.
00:27:39.05\00:27:40.56
And I'll say this.
00:27:40.92\00:27:42.06
I thrive on short-term stress.
00:27:43.09\00:27:46.70
When I've got a
deadline, I am motivated.
00:27:47.10\00:27:50.00
Short-term stress gets me going.
00:27:50.73\00:27:52.87
Long-term stress that never
goes away, because I'm over
00:27:54.04\00:27:58.54
-committed.
00:27:58.54\00:28:03.08
project, long-term
stress has just the opposite.
00:28:03.08\00:28:07.12
It can lead to burnout.
00:28:07.52\00:28:09.55
So you want to learn not
to take on tasks that aren't
00:28:09.65\00:28:14.76
really, according to your
calling, what God has asked you
00:28:14.76\00:28:18.13
to do.
00:28:18.13\00:28:18.63
And how do you know
when you're burned out?
00:28:19.06\00:28:21.23
You can start feeling apathetic.
00:28:21.56\00:28:23.47
You can start feeling
unmotivated, frustrated, empty.
00:28:23.90\00:28:29.54
You notice your health is
something is different in your
00:28:30.14\00:28:34.24
health.
00:28:34.24\00:28:35.91
So we need to give ourselves
permission to, you know, we
00:28:36.31\00:28:41.58
might feel like
there's a lack of support.
00:28:41.58\00:28:43.32
We need to give ourselves
permission to take a break.
00:28:43.55\00:28:46.12
I'm a workaholic.
00:28:46.59\00:28:47.52
My husband's a workaholic.
00:28:47.66\00:28:49.19
And that's something at this
age you would think God would
00:28:51.59\00:28:55.30
have.
00:28:55.30\00:28:55.73
It's not God.
00:28:56.87\00:28:57.87
He's trying.
00:28:57.93\00:28:58.63
But I'm still learning.
00:28:58.63\00:29:00.74
I laughed about balancing
personal and ministerial
00:29:01.24\00:29:05.87
responsibilities because
it's still a struggle for me.
00:29:05.87\00:29:10.91
But here is something I told JD.
00:29:11.58\00:29:13.52
I said, I don't know
what I'm going to say on this.
00:29:13.75\00:29:15.65
He said, honey, you're the
most balanced person I know.
00:29:15.68\00:29:18.99
He said, I don't know
anyone more balanced than you.
00:29:19.29\00:29:21.89
And I said, yeah, but not
always as far as what I should
00:29:22.16\00:29:26.26
be doing for our personal time.
00:29:26.26\00:29:28.16
He says, I'm happy.
00:29:28.16\00:29:29.40
Okay, good.
00:29:29.56\00:29:30.43
But here in balancing
professional duties with
00:29:33.47\00:29:39.07
ministerial duties, and
remember mamas, if you're a
00:29:39.07\00:29:42.48
mama or a daddy, you're
in a full-time ministry.
00:29:42.48\00:29:44.85
We're not just talking
about people who are preachers.
00:29:45.11\00:29:48.08
Prioritize your relationship
with the Lord first.
00:29:48.92\00:29:51.52
I mean, this is something that
you've got to have that prayer
00:29:52.25\00:29:54.62
time.
00:29:54.62\00:29:54.96
You have to to survive.
00:29:55.36\00:29:57.29
You have to have that
time in the word to get.
00:29:57.76\00:30:01.66
It's just like when you're
praying, it opens up your lungs
00:30:02.03\00:30:06.60
and then you're
getting fed by the word.
00:30:06.60\00:30:08.74
Take that Sabbath.
00:30:09.50\00:30:10.44
You know, the problem
with being in ministry, church
00:30:10.64\00:30:12.87
ministry, sometimes Sabbaths
aren't a day off for us quite
00:30:12.87\00:30:16.78
often.
00:30:16.78\00:30:17.08
That's true.
00:30:17.18\00:30:17.71
And so I tell people this.
00:30:17.81\00:30:21.05
I'm trying to live by what
I say, but I tell pastors then
00:30:21.05\00:30:25.12
you need to take Sunday off.
00:30:25.12\00:30:26.72
You know, if you're ministering
on the Sabbath, you're
00:30:27.36\00:30:30.29
observing the Sabbath, but
you've got to put a boundary
00:30:30.29\00:30:33.90
around time off.
00:30:33.90\00:30:36.36
And then you've got to learn
to budget your time among all
00:30:37.50\00:30:41.07
these other categories.
00:30:41.07\00:30:42.44
Jesus was, he said, Seek first
the kingdom of God and all of
00:30:44.11\00:30:49.51
these will be added to you.
00:30:49.51\00:30:50.75
Well, I like what
Paul says in Ephesians 5.
00:30:50.95\00:30:54.12
I'm going to read 15
and 16 from the Amplified.
00:30:54.12\00:30:57.99
Look carefully then how
you walk, live purposefully and
00:30:58.39\00:31:03.29
worthily and accurately, not
as unwise and witless, but as
00:31:03.29\00:31:09.36
wise, sensible, intelligent
people, making the most of the
00:31:09.36\00:31:14.47
time, buying up each
opportunity because the days
00:31:14.47\00:31:18.31
are evil.
00:31:18.31\00:31:19.01
So please, I'm going to
speak to pastors right now.
00:31:20.98\00:31:24.05
Okay.
00:31:24.15\00:31:24.68
When you're in ministry, God's
first, your family needs to
00:31:25.98\00:31:30.69
come second.
00:31:30.69\00:31:31.35
That's right.
00:31:31.49\00:31:32.55
Your family comes before your
church because the Bible tells
00:31:32.75\00:31:36.32
us in 1 Timothy 3.5 that if you
can't minister to the family,
00:31:36.32\00:31:41.80
if you can't manage the family
and God has put you there,
00:31:42.53\00:31:46.43
you've got to learn how
to maintain love in the home,
00:31:47.04\00:31:49.77
resolve conflicts.
00:31:49.94\00:31:51.14
You've got to build that unity
and intimacy with and serve
00:31:51.14\00:31:56.08
your family members.
00:31:56.08\00:31:57.11
If you can't do that, then
you can't serve the church.
00:31:57.25\00:32:00.15
So you've got God,
the family, your ministry.
00:32:00.72\00:32:04.55
And the only way when we
talk about budgeting time for my
00:32:04.82\00:32:09.66
life, it's never been practical
to say, I'm going to do 30
00:32:09.66\00:32:13.26
minutes of this today,
45 minutes of this and this.
00:32:13.26\00:32:16.73
But I do try to
protect it on a weekly basis.
00:32:17.20\00:32:20.57
There's certain
things you try to do daily.
00:32:20.57\00:32:22.90
But I can't always say, I'm
going to get this project done
00:32:23.27\00:32:26.17
in this much time.
00:32:26.17\00:32:27.44
Personal well-being.
00:32:29.64\00:32:31.05
That's one that I've got the
most difficulty with is I will
00:32:32.45\00:32:36.99
ignore my health until it's,
you know, I need to learn to do
00:32:36.99\00:32:41.42
better.
00:32:41.42\00:32:41.79
Know your limits.
00:32:42.76\00:32:43.73
I think of the story in Exodus
chapter 18 where Jethro comes,
00:32:44.49\00:32:51.53
Moses is doing all of
this stuff and Jethro's going,
00:32:51.63\00:32:55.04
you're crazy.
00:32:55.07\00:32:55.80
You know, you need to
appoint able-bodied men.
00:32:56.10\00:32:58.41
You need to have people who
can help you lead these people.
00:32:59.27\00:33:04.08
They'll just bring the
difficult things to you.
00:33:04.11\00:33:06.61
So we've got to know our
limitation and assess your
00:33:07.38\00:33:12.59
priorities regularly and be
ready to actually change them.
00:33:12.59\00:33:18.63
Priorities don't
always stay the same.
00:33:19.83\00:33:22.76
One thing that, when I've got
a big project that, you'll laugh
00:33:24.33\00:33:28.97
at this, you know I've been
in a lot of pain, but when I've
00:33:28.97\00:33:31.67
got a big project to do, I can
only be up for about 15 minutes
00:33:31.67\00:33:36.78
at a time before I'm
in pretty serious pain.
00:33:36.78\00:33:39.41
So I cook in 15 minute
intervals, but I enjoy cooking.
00:33:39.78\00:33:42.72
I like my cooking
and JD does as well.
00:33:42.95\00:33:45.75
But when I've got a big project
to do, like a house project and
00:33:46.05\00:33:49.82
you're looking at that and
thinking, that's an hour, what
00:33:49.82\00:33:53.06
I'll do is I'll set a timer
and I'll go do it for 15 minutes
00:33:53.06\00:33:57.43
and I come rest my back.
00:33:57.43\00:33:58.87
I love this little
block puzzle that I do.
00:33:59.93\00:34:03.04
So I give myself permission to
do a block puzzle before I get
00:34:03.07\00:34:06.47
up again and do it
in another 15 minutes.
00:34:06.47\00:34:09.31
You know, how do
you eat an elephant?
00:34:09.71\00:34:11.41
One bite at a time, right?
00:34:11.88\00:34:14.05
So there's, but let me talk
about staying anchored to your
00:34:14.05\00:34:19.22
calling.
00:34:19.22\00:34:19.62
We're all called to minister.
00:34:19.92\00:34:21.56
That's right.
00:34:21.56\00:34:25.79
is a season, a time to
every purpose under heaven.
00:34:25.79\00:34:29.20
God does, when we are
called, He will make everything
00:34:30.07\00:34:34.47
beautiful in its time.
00:34:34.47\00:34:35.94
Sometimes you've got to write
the vision, make it plain, wait
00:34:36.44\00:34:40.78
for it, as Habakkuk says,
we don't always, when I was
00:34:40.78\00:34:46.75
writing Spotless, God gave me
the title for Spotless in 2017.
00:34:46.75\00:34:52.49
Now, Jill, you used to say to
me the purpose for me, you call
00:34:52.92\00:34:57.33
me the Covenant Queen, but
you used to say the purpose that
00:34:57.33\00:35:00.60
God brought you to 3ABN was
to teach people how to speak His
00:35:00.60\00:35:04.33
Word, you know, exalting
His Word, life affirmations from
00:35:04.33\00:35:07.64
Scripture.
00:35:07.64\00:35:07.97
Powerful.
00:35:08.00\00:35:13.34
your next book, you know, I've
written several in between, but
00:35:13.58\00:35:16.01
your next book is going
to be called Spotless on
00:35:16.01\00:35:18.91
Righteousness by Faith.
00:35:18.91\00:35:20.02
Now you might ask, why did you
wait five or six years to write
00:35:20.48\00:35:24.75
it then?
00:35:24.75\00:35:31.16
stay anchored to Him.
00:35:31.16\00:35:33.16
The only way that I can
tell you how to stay anchored to
00:35:33.19\00:35:37.90
your purpose is learn to listen
for the still small voice of
00:35:37.90\00:35:43.34
the Lord.
00:35:43.34\00:35:43.74
It is so important.
00:35:44.44\00:35:45.74
We know that Christ is the
anchor for our soul, our hope
00:35:45.81\00:35:51.55
in Him, but we need to
be still before the Lord.
00:35:51.55\00:35:55.72
We know that we
get into His Word.
00:35:55.98\00:35:58.42
We're running the race with
endurance, looking to Jesus,
00:35:58.59\00:36:02.16
the author and
finisher of our faith.
00:36:02.22\00:36:04.43
But the Word, one of God's
calling on all of our life is
00:36:05.06\00:36:10.90
sanctification.
00:36:10.90\00:36:11.77
This is the will of God,
your sanctification, Paul said.
00:36:12.10\00:36:15.30
But God, I believe, has special
projects from time to time, and
00:36:16.17\00:36:20.24
usually He'll give you a
passion for it, like somebody
00:36:20.24\00:36:22.91
will.
00:36:22.91\00:36:27.98
have a shop.
00:36:27.98\00:36:30.65
Consignment?
00:36:32.25\00:36:32.75
Thrift shop?
00:36:33.59\00:36:34.46
Well, the thrift shop.
00:36:34.76\00:36:35.79
The thrift shop
that would support.
00:36:35.99\00:36:38.39
God gave her a passion.
00:36:38.93\00:36:40.10
That was her purpose.
00:36:40.26\00:36:41.30
But sometimes
your purpose changes.
00:36:41.90\00:36:44.13
So learn to get
to know God so well.
00:36:44.67\00:36:48.27
Jesus said, My
sheep hear my voice.
00:36:48.70\00:36:50.74
They follow me.
00:36:50.77\00:36:51.81
That you need to learn to sit
before the Lord and say, Lord,
00:36:52.24\00:36:56.18
speak to my heart.
00:36:56.44\00:36:57.55
And He never, my experience,
I can only speak from my
00:36:57.68\00:37:01.65
experience.
00:37:01.65\00:37:02.35
He gives you a
little bit at a time.
00:37:02.78\00:37:04.62
He doesn't tell you everything
that's going to happen.
00:37:04.89\00:37:06.79
Maybe a sentence
or two sentences.
00:37:07.16\00:37:09.12
But then He builds on that.
00:37:09.66\00:37:12.99
The more He puts something
in your heart, it becomes a
00:37:13.03\00:37:16.33
passion.
00:37:16.33\00:37:16.67
Then He builds on it.
00:37:17.00\00:37:18.20
And you know you're headed in
the right direction as He opens
00:37:18.20\00:37:21.37
all the doors.
00:37:21.37\00:37:22.14
So God is a boundary-making,
boundary-keeping God.
00:37:22.57\00:37:26.98
He does it for our
freedom, for our protection.
00:37:26.98\00:37:31.61
But we need to learn how to
set boundaries around our own
00:37:31.61\00:37:36.89
behavior.
00:37:36.89\00:37:37.82
And we also need to prayerfully
ask Him to keep us from being
00:37:38.12\00:37:42.39
boundary busters.
00:37:42.39\00:37:44.03
You know, if you realize you've
done that, you need to go and
00:37:45.16\00:37:49.90
apologize.
00:37:49.90\00:37:50.73
Define that boundary buster.
00:37:51.93\00:37:53.97
A boundary buster is, let's say
that I know Jill has a certain
00:37:54.30\00:37:59.37
boundary and I
cross that boundary.
00:37:59.37\00:38:03.24
And she gets turned off
by that because she's already
00:38:04.21\00:38:08.48
established that boundary.
00:38:08.48\00:38:09.98
We all do.
00:38:10.62\00:38:14.49
sometimes not meaning to.
00:38:14.86\00:38:16.49
But when you recognize
that you have crossed somebody's
00:38:17.09\00:38:20.36
personal boundary, you
need to go and apologize.
00:38:20.36\00:38:23.00
That's with the workplace too
and what Jill's going to talk
00:38:23.60\00:38:26.74
about also.
00:38:26.74\00:38:28.27
Yeah, definitely.
00:38:28.27\00:38:30.34
Do you mind if I comment
on something that you shared
00:38:30.87\00:38:33.27
earlier about the offense
and not being offended, right?
00:38:33.27\00:38:37.31
And the pride link.
00:38:37.31\00:38:38.25
And I totally agree with that.
00:38:38.38\00:38:40.22
I just want to add something
to that though and see what you
00:38:41.18\00:38:44.22
think.
00:38:44.22\00:38:44.52
I find that sometimes when
we interact with each other, we
00:38:45.45\00:38:47.79
can say things
that are inappropriate.
00:38:47.79\00:38:49.59
And there was a time where a
family member or even myself,
00:38:50.49\00:38:54.46
I'll use myself as an example,
people would always want to
00:38:54.56\00:38:58.13
comment on my weight.
00:38:58.13\00:38:58.83
Like first thing, especially
family members, always talking
00:38:59.37\00:39:02.10
about my weight.
00:39:02.10\00:39:02.70
And, you know, how would
you like it if someone always
00:39:03.57\00:39:06.98
commented on your weight
when the first time you see it?
00:39:06.98\00:39:08.88
And I see this happening.
00:39:08.88\00:39:09.94
Oh, you've gained a little
bit of weight, haven't you?
00:39:10.05\00:39:11.65
Oh, you're so skinny.
00:39:11.75\00:39:12.65
How come you're so skinny?
00:39:12.75\00:39:13.48
You're so skinny.
00:39:13.55\00:39:14.55
You know, these kinds of things
that repeatedly being said, do
00:39:14.92\00:39:17.65
I have to?
00:39:17.65\00:39:18.79
It doesn't offend me, but
after a while I'm like, you know
00:39:18.82\00:39:20.69
what?
00:39:20.69\00:39:22.76
And so I'm going to ask you if
we can not talk about my weight
00:39:22.82\00:39:25.83
anymore type of
thing, something like that.
00:39:25.83\00:39:28.70
And it's not an offense
thing as much as it is a, I just
00:39:28.70\00:39:32.30
don't want to talk about that,
especially if it's, you know,
00:39:32.30\00:39:35.20
if it's, if it is kind of
hurtful, someone who maybe is
00:39:35.24\00:39:37.67
struggling with their weight.
00:39:37.67\00:39:38.77
I've been, I had someone
at 3ABN who introduced me at a
00:39:38.87\00:39:44.91
meeting and made light,
made joking about my height.
00:39:44.91\00:39:48.88
And it was over the top joking.
00:39:49.02\00:39:51.29
And I've been six
feet tall since I was 13.
00:39:51.32\00:39:54.16
Well, I'm not really quite six
feet, but so I've had a lot of
00:39:54.16\00:39:57.66
joking and it doesn't, it
doesn't amaze me that first
00:39:57.66\00:40:02.50
thing somebody
says, whoa, you're tall.
00:40:02.50\00:40:04.73
That doesn't bother me.
00:40:05.27\00:40:06.67
I don't get offended even when
someone uses words that could
00:40:06.80\00:40:10.57
be offensive.
00:40:10.57\00:40:11.41
But when it's somebody who
knows me and in a purse, and
00:40:11.74\00:40:15.21
boy, I'll tell you
what, you know what happened?
00:40:15.21\00:40:17.25
This was a live event and I
went behind, he'd introduced me
00:40:17.28\00:40:22.52
and then I had to come out and
I'm back there trying to say,
00:40:22.52\00:40:25.55
okay, Lord, I know my
pride was wounded because I'm so
00:40:25.69\00:40:27.99
offended.
00:40:27.99\00:40:28.56
And I got out there and I
started on my sermon and I had
00:40:29.19\00:40:33.03
to stop.
00:40:33.03\00:40:33.80
And I said, there's
just no anointing here.
00:40:34.00\00:40:36.30
And I told the people, I'm
dealing with a personal issue
00:40:36.50\00:40:39.97
of pride.
00:40:39.97\00:40:40.47
I need to pray.
00:40:40.70\00:40:41.84
And I started, I mean, I was
four or five minutes into the
00:40:42.70\00:40:46.74
sermon, but I just started over.
00:40:46.74\00:40:48.84
Because you can't minister
when you're in that spirit.
00:40:49.11\00:40:54.22
I mean, you can, you can
tell the words of the Lord, but
00:40:54.45\00:40:57.45
there's no anointing there.
00:40:57.45\00:40:58.82
So it's, what you said is, yes,
I think it's personally that
00:40:59.25\00:41:04.46
you should go.
00:41:04.46\00:41:05.59
And I had to go and tell
this person, do you realize you
00:41:05.66\00:41:09.43
always crack a
joke about my height?
00:41:09.43\00:41:11.57
Do you say offensive things?
00:41:11.73\00:41:13.70
And they've quit.
00:41:15.00\00:41:16.30
Yeah, good.
00:41:16.54\00:41:17.34
And sometimes I think people
don't recognize, they don't
00:41:18.17\00:41:20.61
recognize that they've crossed
a boundary, or they don't
00:41:20.61\00:41:22.94
recognize that you're maybe
sensitive about that topic.
00:41:22.94\00:41:25.98
I'm not saying you're over
sensitive, Shelley, I didn't
00:41:26.21\00:41:28.58
mean it that way, but sometimes
we don't recognize that, that
00:41:28.58\00:41:31.49
this is somebody's button
and I'm beginning to push it.
00:41:31.49\00:41:34.82
And just to have open
communication with each other,
00:41:34.82\00:41:39.09
like you told this person, you
know, that's starting to get a
00:41:39.09\00:41:42.06
little bothersome.
00:41:42.06\00:41:43.23
And praise the Lord to be able
to openly dialogue about that.
00:41:43.33\00:41:47.30
Yes.
00:41:47.47\00:41:47.70
I love that.
00:41:47.87\00:41:48.64
An opportunity to respect you.
00:41:48.77\00:41:50.17
Yes.
00:41:50.17\00:41:50.91
Oh, I didn't realize that.
00:41:51.51\00:41:52.31
I want to respect you.
00:41:52.41\00:41:53.14
I won't do that again.
00:41:53.17\00:41:53.98
Yeah, right.
00:41:54.64\00:41:55.38
That's so powerful.
00:41:55.71\00:41:56.54
I love that.
00:41:56.71\00:41:57.31
Thank you, Shelley.
00:41:57.45\00:41:58.25
That's powerful.
00:41:58.31\00:41:59.31
My topic is setting healthy
boundaries between work and
00:41:59.51\00:42:03.42
faith.
00:42:03.42\00:42:04.05
And what does that look like?
00:42:04.12\00:42:05.42
I divided into two sections.
00:42:06.55\00:42:08.16
We're going to set healthy
boundaries between work and
00:42:08.42\00:42:10.59
faith.
00:42:10.59\00:42:13.40
Then the second half is
going to be, how do we integrate
00:42:13.76\00:42:16.70
Christian values
into the workplace?
00:42:16.70\00:42:19.87
What does that look like?
00:42:19.87\00:42:22.20
Now, you know me, I could have
a whole bunch of lists, but I
00:42:22.50\00:42:24.44
tried to keep it to two and two
so we don't have too much here.
00:42:24.44\00:42:27.61
And then we want to make sure
we have time to talk together
00:42:27.61\00:42:27.64
here at the end.
00:42:29.54\00:42:30.38
If we look at setting healthy
boundaries between work and
00:42:30.78\00:42:33.52
faith, number one, observe when
work creeps into your faith or
00:42:33.52\00:42:40.79
creeps over your faith or
starts to take over your faith.
00:42:40.79\00:42:45.66
This is really building,
Shelley, on what you had talked
00:42:45.73\00:42:47.86
about with that burnout.
00:42:47.86\00:42:49.53
Being all things to all people,
I can definitely fall in the
00:42:50.23\00:42:55.34
category of overwork.
00:42:55.34\00:42:56.87
That's just my personality.
00:42:57.01\00:42:58.64
It's who I am.
00:42:59.01\00:43:00.14
I don't know.
00:43:00.34\00:43:00.81
It's just in my DNA.
00:43:00.88\00:43:01.88
If something needs to be
done, I got to get it done.
00:43:02.44\00:43:04.91
It's just who I am as a person.
00:43:05.11\00:43:07.12
And recognizing that my work
can creep over into my faith.
00:43:08.62\00:43:15.46
You can literally be too busy
in ministry that you neglect
00:43:15.76\00:43:23.40
your own personal walk with
God, your own personal time,
00:43:23.40\00:43:29.30
your own
relationship with other people.
00:43:30.01\00:43:33.84
I love what you said, Reece,
talking about Pastor James with
00:43:34.54\00:43:38.55
you were like, okay, I'm going
to get rid of the cell phone or
00:43:38.55\00:43:40.62
get rid of the computer.
00:43:40.62\00:43:41.58
We're just going to
stomp on it or throw it out.
00:43:41.62\00:43:43.55
Greg and I have established
because work is never done.
00:43:43.79\00:43:48.79
It's always there.
00:43:49.92\00:43:51.29
Even when we go to bed
at night, sometimes we'll be
00:43:51.99\00:43:53.96
talking work.
00:43:53.96\00:43:54.73
Greg's like, oh,
we could try this.
00:43:55.46\00:43:57.03
What if we do this?
00:43:57.20\00:43:58.37
We could do this initiative.
00:43:58.87\00:44:00.57
And sometimes we'll be like,
oh, let's just not talk work.
00:44:00.74\00:44:04.31
Let's just set work aside.
00:44:05.11\00:44:06.98
When we have supper, come
home at night, we always put our
00:44:07.54\00:44:11.01
phones aside.
00:44:11.01\00:44:11.88
And if the cell phone
rings, we don't answer it.
00:44:12.01\00:44:14.05
And if somebody
texts, we don't look at it.
00:44:14.22\00:44:16.62
And it's him and I time, just
us together, just to talk, just
00:44:16.75\00:44:21.66
to connect.
00:44:21.66\00:44:22.52
Sometimes we talk about
work because we both live, eat,
00:44:23.12\00:44:25.63
breathe, and experience 3ABN.
00:44:25.76\00:44:27.30
But other times it's push that
aside and let's just have us
00:44:27.60\00:44:30.90
time.
00:44:30.90\00:44:33.97
protect your time with God.
00:44:35.30\00:44:37.34
So number one, just observe
when work starts to encroach
00:44:37.51\00:44:40.91
over onto your faith.
00:44:40.91\00:44:41.94
And number two,
protect your time with God.
00:44:42.04\00:44:45.45
Protect your time with your
spouse or with your children,
00:44:45.91\00:44:49.12
with other people.
00:44:49.38\00:44:50.29
Protect that.
00:44:50.62\00:44:51.32
I think about Mark 1.
00:44:51.45\00:44:52.42
Mark chapter 1, this is
Jesus in the synagogue, just
00:44:53.29\00:44:56.83
launching into ministry.
00:44:56.83\00:44:58.03
He's in Capernaum there.
00:44:58.16\00:44:59.29
He stands up and the people
are astonished at his doctrine.
00:44:59.36\00:45:01.86
Wow, nobody
spoke as Jesus spoke.
00:45:02.43\00:45:04.67
And then he heals
the demon possessed man.
00:45:04.83\00:45:07.70
And then ministry continues.
00:45:07.94\00:45:09.44
That night at Peter's house,
the word of God says that the
00:45:09.47\00:45:13.61
whole city came together.
00:45:13.61\00:45:15.98
They wanted to be healed.
00:45:15.98\00:45:17.18
They wanted a piece of Jesus.
00:45:17.55\00:45:19.48
There was, I'm sure lame or
blind or the Bible doesn't tell
00:45:19.55\00:45:22.92
us, but many people
who wanted to be healed.
00:45:22.92\00:45:25.45
And so what does Jesus do?
00:45:26.32\00:45:27.56
If you look at Mark 1 verse
35, now in the morning, having
00:45:27.72\00:45:33.06
risen a long
while before daylight.
00:45:33.06\00:45:35.03
So this is the night
before he was ministering.
00:45:35.13\00:45:37.20
The night before everybody
was there seeking healing.
00:45:37.30\00:45:40.37
And then the next morning, a
great while before daylight, he
00:45:40.37\00:45:44.51
went out, departed to a
solitary place and they're
00:45:44.51\00:45:47.91
praying.
00:45:47.91\00:45:48.24
The other piece for me that has
been so instrumental in my own
00:45:50.15\00:45:56.32
experience here at 3ABN
has been not just that morning
00:45:56.32\00:46:01.19
time, that early time with God,
which is so important, but it's
00:46:01.19\00:46:05.93
bringing God back into my
mind flow throughout the day.
00:46:05.93\00:46:11.03
Shelly, you reference that
scripture in 2 Corinthians, 2
00:46:11.80\00:46:15.20
Corinthians 10, casting down
arguments or imaginations and
00:46:15.20\00:46:18.47
every high thing that exalts
itself against the knowledge of
00:46:18.47\00:46:21.18
God and bringing into captivity
every thought to the obedience
00:46:21.18\00:46:25.68
of Christ.
00:46:25.68\00:46:26.48
What does that really mean?
00:46:27.45\00:46:28.88
And I remember being at a
moment in time, Greg and I
00:46:29.12\00:46:33.79
talking and me saying,
but there's so much to do.
00:46:33.79\00:46:37.29
But I don't know
how to get it all done.
00:46:37.33\00:46:39.13
But I'm feeling overwhelmed.
00:46:39.66\00:46:41.66
And then I thought we
could implement strategies.
00:46:43.67\00:46:46.77
We could delegate as Jethro.
00:46:47.07\00:46:48.60
We could, there's so many
things that you can do, which
00:46:48.80\00:46:51.21
is all good things to implement.
00:46:51.21\00:46:53.14
But when I thought about the
life of Christ, was he pressed?
00:46:53.84\00:46:56.44
Did he have serious
decisions to deal with?
00:46:57.21\00:46:59.41
Did he have people clamoring
at all moments for him?
00:46:59.81\00:47:03.92
And how did he handle it?
00:47:04.62\00:47:06.52
And that's when
that concept came.
00:47:07.06\00:47:10.03
Bring Jesus back to my mind.
00:47:10.83\00:47:13.63
Walk with Jesus
throughout the day.
00:47:14.10\00:47:17.07
You see, it's not just in the
morning you have your time and
00:47:17.43\00:47:21.04
then you go to work, whatever
work is for you and you push
00:47:21.04\00:47:24.81
faith aside.
00:47:24.81\00:47:25.64
No, you bring faith with you.
00:47:25.84\00:47:28.58
You bring Jesus with you.
00:47:28.64\00:47:31.38
I mean, every moment, every
minute or every few minutes,
00:47:31.75\00:47:36.38
God, what do you
want me to do here?
00:47:36.38\00:47:38.29
God, how do I
answer this person?
00:47:38.42\00:47:40.02
God, I'm feeling
pressed right now.
00:47:40.16\00:47:41.62
Give me your peace.
00:47:41.66\00:47:42.66
God, open up whatever.
00:47:43.02\00:47:44.76
And as I walked that journey,
I experienced more freedom, more
00:47:44.89\00:47:53.00
peace, more deliverance.
00:47:53.00\00:47:56.00
It was simply
Jesus walking with me.
00:47:56.17\00:47:59.77
Practicing his presence.
00:47:59.77\00:47:59.81
Yes, nothing else
changed, but I changed inside.
00:48:01.94\00:48:06.25
And to see that.
00:48:06.41\00:48:08.05
Now, do I
practice it all the time?
00:48:08.28\00:48:09.62
Absolutely not.
00:48:09.68\00:48:10.55
But on the days when I
experience it more, it's
00:48:10.65\00:48:14.79
incredible.
00:48:14.79\00:48:15.26
Now, let me just
jump to the second part.
00:48:15.72\00:48:17.39
How do we integrate Christian
values into the workplace?
00:48:17.46\00:48:20.33
I would say, number
one, love your faith.
00:48:20.93\00:48:22.60
Number two, live your faith.
00:48:23.20\00:48:25.07
What do I mean
by love your faith?
00:48:25.63\00:48:27.60
You can't integrate into the
workplace what you don't know.
00:48:27.84\00:48:30.41
You can't share the Sabbath
if you don't know the Sabbath.
00:48:30.67\00:48:32.91
You can't share how to accept
Jesus and to be saved if you
00:48:32.97\00:48:37.01
don't know, if you have
not experienced that yourself.
00:48:37.01\00:48:40.78
You can't practice
what you don't love.
00:48:41.58\00:48:44.02
We need to love
and experience Jesus.
00:48:44.79\00:48:47.66
And then we can live our faith.
00:48:47.99\00:48:50.83
Then we can share
our faith with others.
00:48:51.13\00:48:54.20
And when we talk about living
your faith, to me, it is just a
00:48:54.66\00:48:57.87
couple things.
00:48:57.87\00:48:58.47
I'll run
through them real quick.
00:48:58.67\00:48:59.73
Live with
integrity in the workplace.
00:49:00.47\00:49:03.47
Be honest.
00:49:03.94\00:49:05.01
Always tell the truth,
regardless of if you're laughed
00:49:05.01\00:49:09.48
at, or if you're fired over
telling the truth, or if you
00:49:09.48\00:49:12.91
might lose a
friend or a relationship.
00:49:12.91\00:49:16.05
Be honest.
00:49:16.55\00:49:17.55
Now, we need kindness
with how we tell the truth.
00:49:17.62\00:49:19.62
I'm not saying to be
unkind, but tell the truth.
00:49:19.69\00:49:21.66
Be trustworthy.
00:49:22.06\00:49:23.09
Be reliable in what you say.
00:49:24.09\00:49:26.43
Be true to your word.
00:49:26.83\00:49:27.66
This is really
living the gospel.
00:49:27.76\00:49:29.26
It's living Christianity.
00:49:29.66\00:49:31.00
Be loyal.
00:49:31.43\00:49:32.30
Don't cheat or lie.
00:49:33.13\00:49:34.80
Don't complain.
00:49:35.60\00:49:36.44
Be ethical.
00:49:36.81\00:49:37.74
Do the right thing,
regardless of the consequences.
00:49:38.57\00:49:41.44
Avoid even the appearance
of deception or fraud or
00:49:41.94\00:49:48.15
immorality.
00:49:48.15\00:49:49.58
Take the high road.
00:49:49.95\00:49:51.49
Be encouraging
of your coworkers.
00:49:51.89\00:49:55.06
Be excellent.
00:49:56.12\00:49:56.89
Do excellent work.
00:49:57.36\00:49:58.99
All of that is just, to
me, Christian principles.
00:49:59.09\00:50:01.60
That as we inculcate and as
we live them, it's living the
00:50:01.60\00:50:08.00
Christian life.
00:50:08.00\00:50:09.14
And it's living out what
we believe in the workplace.
00:50:09.14\00:50:13.34
So, we're coming down to
the end of this hour, these two
00:50:13.61\00:50:17.08
hours, talking about boundaries.
00:50:17.08\00:50:19.58
Let's shift just a moment and
talk about those people maybe
00:50:22.15\00:50:28.72
who are struggling with
implementing boundaries.
00:50:28.72\00:50:31.53
Maybe they feel, I'm not
going to be a nice person.
00:50:32.33\00:50:36.36
People aren't going to
like me if I implement them.
00:50:36.93\00:50:39.67
Or it's hard for me
to stand up for myself.
00:50:39.97\00:50:43.20
It's hard for me
to implement that.
00:50:43.81\00:50:46.11
What would you say to them?
00:50:46.51\00:50:47.44
It certainly was hard for me.
00:50:48.64\00:50:50.85
I grew up in a very
dysfunctional environment and I
00:50:51.38\00:50:53.82
learned to be the peacemaker.
00:50:53.82\00:50:55.32
And I have always been a people
pleaser, even with God, before
00:50:56.79\00:51:01.32
I knew the whole truth.
00:51:01.32\00:51:03.02
You know, it's
very performance based.
00:51:03.32\00:51:06.39
But I think that what I've
learned is it's good to learn a
00:51:07.13\00:51:11.33
few little phrases.
00:51:11.33\00:51:12.30
God is a boundary keeping God.
00:51:12.90\00:51:16.47
And what I have learned, just
if you learn little things like
00:51:17.11\00:51:21.91
you could say to somebody
that's doing something, your
00:51:21.91\00:51:25.75
behavior is unacceptable.
00:51:25.75\00:51:27.48
I'm surprised at how fast
people respond to that word
00:51:28.12\00:51:31.52
when you say your
behavior is unacceptable.
00:51:31.52\00:51:34.19
You know, there's certain
things we set ourselves up for
00:51:34.79\00:51:39.23
because we don't
communicate our emotional needs.
00:51:39.23\00:51:44.90
But it's also that you can,
when you're talking about this,
00:51:45.17\00:51:49.57
I'm thinking real
quick, I'll tell you a story.
00:51:49.60\00:51:51.07
I worked in Houston in a
company that was a high tech
00:51:51.54\00:51:55.38
company and the IT
director was at work.
00:51:55.38\00:52:01.65
Everybody at work was
scared to death of him.
00:52:02.18\00:52:04.32
This man spoke so crudely, he
cursed all the time, used God's
00:52:04.95\00:52:09.79
name in vain, and he
just didn't like anybody.
00:52:09.79\00:52:12.46
So I had to go
work with him one day.
00:52:12.59\00:52:14.76
And I just told him, I said,
you know, could you do me a
00:52:15.16\00:52:18.13
favor?
00:52:18.13\00:52:18.30
I'm a Christian.
00:52:18.57\00:52:19.43
And I said, it just crushes
my soul when you use the Lord's
00:52:19.80\00:52:24.57
name in vain, or when you use
these particular words, and you
00:52:24.57\00:52:28.84
know, something that
was funny, he respected me.
00:52:28.84\00:52:33.68
He never talked that
way around me anymore.
00:52:33.92\00:52:36.02
He got along better with me
than with anyone else there.
00:52:36.28\00:52:39.32
So some people need, you're
actually ministering to others
00:52:39.92\00:52:45.23
when you set boundaries and you
need to teach your children how
00:52:45.23\00:52:49.76
to set boundaries so
that they can be healthy.
00:52:49.76\00:52:52.83
Life's good.
00:52:52.97\00:52:53.87
And you're giving people
permission to set their own
00:52:54.37\00:52:56.44
boundaries for themselves.
00:52:56.44\00:52:57.41
I was just going to say
that I think that it's really
00:52:57.71\00:52:59.87
important that each person have
a God-given self-respect and
00:52:59.87\00:53:06.01
self -worth in
their individuality.
00:53:06.01\00:53:08.28
And that that's what defines
why we have the boundaries that
00:53:08.68\00:53:11.12
we do is that under
God, I'm responsible to him.
00:53:11.12\00:53:13.79
And like you
said, he comes first.
00:53:13.82\00:53:15.12
And so my God-given
individuality is to be
00:53:15.32\00:53:18.36
maintained at all times
under his authority and the
00:53:18.36\00:53:22.26
boundaries that I do set up are
for that purpose of keeping him
00:53:22.26\00:53:26.27
first in my life and his will
for my life thriving and that
00:53:26.27\00:53:30.81
sort of thing.
00:53:30.81\00:53:34.71
yourself, kind of like that
backbone that we were talking
00:53:34.71\00:53:37.01
about earlier that we
don't meld ourself or melt into
00:53:37.01\00:53:40.75
someone else.
00:53:40.75\00:53:41.42
And therefore your worth, your
respect is key to, you know,
00:53:41.98\00:53:47.36
your self-respect is key
to experiencing the ability, I
00:53:47.42\00:53:51.73
guess, to establish
healthy boundaries for yourself.
00:53:51.73\00:53:53.73
I love that.
00:53:54.10\00:53:54.83
Do you have any thoughts on it?
00:53:55.00\00:53:55.96
No, I'm sorry.
00:53:56.00\00:53:57.03
No, okay.
00:53:57.03\00:53:57.43
I was just like all
into what Rishi was saying.
00:53:58.10\00:54:01.20
Sorry.
00:54:01.64\00:54:02.04
Say right there what happened.
00:54:02.70\00:54:04.37
She set a boundary.
00:54:04.51\00:54:05.44
I love that.
00:54:05.91\00:54:07.18
This is good.
00:54:07.58\00:54:08.78
That's fabulous.
00:54:08.84\00:54:09.98
Since you have
any thoughts on it.
00:54:10.78\00:54:11.88
Well, setting boundaries really
means being a good steward,
00:54:12.18\00:54:16.65
really.
00:54:16.75\00:54:21.16
time, whether it's our
influence, whatever it is,
00:54:21.16\00:54:24.29
we're managing that
again to bring God glory.
00:54:24.39\00:54:28.13
But I love what you've been
saying, Jill, about the whole
00:54:28.46\00:54:33.57
idea of bringing
God into the workplace.
00:54:33.57\00:54:36.64
And when you're in ministry, so
many times you've spent so much
00:54:36.77\00:54:40.74
time talking about the Lord and
talking about ministry aspects
00:54:40.74\00:54:47.28
and all that, that you let that
substitute for the time that
00:54:47.28\00:54:52.89
you spend with
him just one-on -one.
00:54:52.89\00:54:55.32
And I think it's really
important, Shelly, as you were
00:54:55.72\00:54:58.69
bringing out, that we have
to make sure that we make God
00:54:58.69\00:55:02.96
first and that we don't forget
to talk to him and to spend
00:55:02.96\00:55:08.60
that one-on-one time.
00:55:08.60\00:55:09.90
It's like your date
time with him, right?
00:55:10.04\00:55:12.74
It's your date time with him.
00:55:12.74\00:55:14.04
We need to have
that special time.
00:55:14.08\00:55:15.78
So I think what you said
was really, really good, Jill.
00:55:16.14\00:55:19.21
And I think we need to really
think more about how we bring
00:55:19.31\00:55:22.68
God into the workplace.
00:55:22.68\00:55:24.02
Yeah, and understanding
that those boundaries, I think
00:55:25.69\00:55:28.39
sometimes the reason why
people feel intimidated to set
00:55:28.39\00:55:31.79
boundaries is because we
see them as so rigid and it's a
00:55:31.79\00:55:34.46
negative thing,
but they're really not.
00:55:34.46\00:55:36.36
To picture again that
flexibility, that fluidity,
00:55:36.53\00:55:39.07
that ability to actually
establish healthier interaction
00:55:39.17\00:55:43.30
and relationship, that's
why you're setting them, to keep
00:55:43.30\00:55:46.31
that in mind.
00:55:46.31\00:55:49.98
healthy way, that
makes a difference.
00:55:49.98\00:55:51.15
And it's not rigid.
00:55:51.15\00:55:51.98
That's right.
00:55:52.01\00:55:52.75
We're going to go out with
prayer here tonight, but I just
00:55:53.31\00:55:55.98
want to say, I
love each one of you.
00:55:55.98\00:55:57.59
What a gift to serve
in the ministry with you.
00:55:57.62\00:55:59.92
Thank you for your authenticity
and transparency, your heart
00:56:00.36\00:56:03.69
for God and the Word.
00:56:03.69\00:56:04.99
Know at home, we love you too.
00:56:05.43\00:56:07.30
You are part of the 3ABN family
and you are welcome at any time
00:56:07.50\00:56:12.17
to reach out to us.
00:56:12.17\00:56:13.34
You can give us a
call or send us an email.
00:56:13.44\00:56:15.70
We want to connect with you.
00:56:16.00\00:56:17.51
We want to pray for you.
00:56:17.51\00:56:17.54
We want to see God work to
restore our relationships and
00:56:19.37\00:56:22.88
lives and
establish those boundaries.
00:56:22.88\00:56:25.75
So we're going to
go out with prayer.
00:56:25.88\00:56:27.18
So know we love you and
we will see you next time.
00:56:27.35\00:56:29.48
Angela, would you pray for us?
00:56:29.95\00:56:31.22
And we'll just
close with prayer here.
00:56:31.35\00:56:32.55
Thank you.
00:56:32.79\00:56:37.16
and we ask you to please guide
us and lead us in our everyday
00:56:37.16\00:56:40.93
lives, Lord, at
work and at home, Lord.
00:56:40.93\00:56:44.03
We just ask you to give us the
strength and the wisdom to set
00:56:44.13\00:56:47.67
those boundaries that you
want us to set in our life in a
00:56:47.67\00:56:50.44
godly way, Lord.
00:56:50.44\00:56:51.57
And please lead us to you, Lord.
00:56:51.91\00:56:53.78
And thank you for everyone
that watched today, Lord.
00:56:54.11\00:56:57.25
May you touch their
lives and the mothers, Lord.
00:56:57.61\00:56:59.95
Please be with the mothers.
00:57:00.15\00:57:01.22
They're so special.
00:57:01.35\00:57:02.45
And thank you for
all you do for us.
00:57:02.82\00:57:04.72
And thank you for 3ABN and
how your hands always on it and
00:57:04.75\00:57:08.49
continue to bless us and be
with us because this is your
00:57:08.49\00:57:10.76
ministry in Christ's name.
00:57:10.76\00:57:12.23
Amen.
00:57:12.49\00:57:12.53