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>> I'm showing Quinn, JD Quinn.
We welcome you to this second
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hour of 3, A B in live.
Tonight's program is fight for
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change. And sometimes it's a
fight. Yes, drug haha. But our
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special guest, if you're just
joining us for Pastor Stephen
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Tammy Conway, they are
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hosts on a very popular 3 ABN
program that is called when we
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talk and they are your
past during in Troy, Michigan.
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You have a counseling ministry.
You do grief recovery. You do
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challenge and change and the
conflict. He says I love that
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challenge. Sainz challenging
choices. Change challenge in
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63. Yes. E 3 is much easier
to say at the C 3 challenge.
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Yeah, but we're so glad to have
you here. And if you miss the
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first hour, I'm sorry because
we had some good things and
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we're going to continue.
But before we kick off into our
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discussion, we had one mark
clip that we wanted to show you
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from when we talk
and set us up to me.
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>> Yes, so much like the last
clip that we showed you we talk
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about changed, right? How
to change was in. We also don't
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really understand that even in
the process of change, there is
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a continuing to it. So
this is what we call the change
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continue. You know,
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you would think the story
was just about that for her.
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You know, the other thing that
stood out to me in that story
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was that the disciples
were there when he met her.
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There was a reason why he
sent them away. Why do you think
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that is?
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>> Well, some of us complicate
change for other people and we
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take a drink, OK, some of those
complicate change for other
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people because we're not in
the process of change. Our said
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Marci, when you think about
the disciples, they weren't
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thinking about people
experiencing necessarily
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transformational change.
They would think about who was
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going to be first. Who's going
to run this thing when Jesus
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leaves no money. No meat only.
Yeah. So they're arguing about
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that. So you can imagine
that those individuals would not
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necessarily they do not help
and someone else is changing.
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And so Jesus has to meet
her without them and then bring
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them in or what he's done.
Yeah, right. So they come in
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and they're like, oh, what's
going on? What just happened
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here? Yeah, right? Yeah.
And so a man I don't know about
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you, but
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I don't want to be a person
that complicates chain for
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someone else. I don't want
to be a person that Jesus has to
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say, OK, you going over there
to the store and go shopping
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and let me do something
powerful, miraculous and this
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person's life. And then let me
just bring you in on the other
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side of it and then can explain
because if I allow you to be
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there, you're trying to tell
me how to handle my own helping
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this person experience change.
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>> So fight for change.
Why this title? What what is it
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that you think
people need to hear about?
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How on Jews? Yeah, and that,
you know, we've got so much
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conflict going on in our world.
We need to fight for change,
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but it all has to do with
communication and choices.
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Yeah, yeah.
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>> It's you know, you you
hit the nail on the head really
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honestly. Now more than ever,
there probably isn't very many
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households who are experiencing
and an enormous amount of
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change who's not raising a
child in dealing with someone
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coming home saying they do
so like they are who they were
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born, you know, has their
their gender or people. I mean,
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literally, we are people
are falling apart right for then
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suddenly raising their
grandchildren. Yes, yeah.
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There's a lot of adjustments
going on in the world. And in
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the midst of that, people are
losing hope. They are losing a
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desire to even want to fight
right for change. People are
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letting go of relationships
and walking away from marriages.
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And some people would probably
say, well, that's always been
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happy. But for us, even
in ministry, we're watching
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exponentially
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an amount of people walking
away from that call because
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they don't know they don't
even feel safe to be able to
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acknowledge and say I need
help or they feel as though I'm
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they're not supposed to want
to help. You talk about Shane,
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you know before and we're like,
man, what can be done? There
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needs to be a safe place,
right, for people to be able to
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come and say, listen, you
know, we we need help. You know,
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we need a change in our
marriage. We need a change in
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how we're approaching
parenting. I need to change in
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Homs and with people at my
job, you need to change in every
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aspect of our life, you know.
And so yeah, and also I think.
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>> Experience and changes
is not passive. Yes, a lot of
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times we think that, well, it's
just going to happen or if God
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really wants me to expansive
than all experience it. But you
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know, the idea of fighting
for change, it lands and tense
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analogy to what we can
experience change. One purpose.
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Yeah. We can actually say I
want to be transformed. I want
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to be a new person. Yeah.
I want to show up differently
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than the ways and
showed up in the past.
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>> You have to wait to
do that. You don't need
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people's permission. You
can choose to change even in the
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midst of craziness you can
choose to let let this mine.
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Yeah, yeah, it is in Christ a
man. It's something you have to
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allow and fight for.
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>> And I mean, we're caught.
This is this is major stuff
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right here.
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I was raised in
a home loving home,
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but sure to be saying not
hurt and is and, you know, you
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think, well, you know,
kill grow out of that and
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everything. But I don't know
if you grow out of it or not.
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And so it may. So you're you're
fighting your internal battles.
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That's right. Because the goes
back to us. I haven't seen him
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in and 30 years he might
put on 100 pounds of sand. Sure.
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Here comes that shame
where you need to have
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spurred kogut.
Let's just say to actually
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>> to speak up. Yeah, it is
actually breaking. You know,
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I tell people a lot of had an
experience with my youngest son
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and I may have shared this with
you all before but being put in
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a position where a group in the
same type of way I'm not being
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given a vocabulary or the
freedom to say something has
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happened to me on and pain.
I realize as I got older that
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my parents were not given the
full cavalier so they couldn't
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give it to me. But during
the work that I do, my children
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happen to be around the
listening to it. And one day,
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my son who was going through
some emotional things that
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school I asked them, you know,
how are you doing? You know,
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most kids, some fun. Yeah,
right. That's what you call the
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Academy Award, right? The
Academy Award behavior is on
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for caught is good. And I'm
not saying that you can say that
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trouble out on the fly at
right. But it's important that
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people can know that you can be
honest and say, man, you know,
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I'm not doing well right now.
You know. And so my son took
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one of those sheets of paper.
We call it an emotion. Will he
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took it from me and one day
he just came home. He took this
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piece of paper. He slammed
on the table or, you know, later
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on this. But it was folded and
I opened it up and it was one
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of the wheels and I use
for my clients. And I said, OK,
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in the spirit of guy
really spoke to me, said, Tamra,
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this is an opportunity for you
to break a generational curse
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right here, them stop and
listen to him and ask him what
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he might. He marked off all
of these emotions. I didn't even
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know he knew what all of these
things meant to. So we spent
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and a certain amount of time
there which started a catalyst
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for us moving 40's 13 now in
whatever he's having a moment.
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He's coming. He's talking
and he shared. We have to cry.
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He can cry. Voice can cry,
right? Then we get rid of that.
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This, you know, and and all
of these different things that
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we've put out to people that
allows him to feel as though
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right that they're not allowed
to be honest and open about
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their thoughts and feelings.
I dare say the reason why we're
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in the state. We're in with
the violence in the world. Oh,
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yes, right. With young people
just go in the schools and
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shooting up schools that there
are a lot of conflict. There's
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a lot of trauma unspoken
things. And so you know what?
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Because I'm feeling this anger
and Ernie's maybe as bullying
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underneath is maybe sadness
by families. Not together. We're
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broke and there's a lot
of different things. They're
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taking it out in
that way. Yeah, yeah.
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>> That's really a good idea.
Maybe over 6 months to have a
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value. Aisha family valuation
to look at the wheel to say
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yeah, there are major
changes and give your children
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permission. Her mission.
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>> To speak honestly about
their feelings and what they're
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going through.
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>> Yeah, I think it's as
profound because so often what
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you you will here things like
just put it out there and be
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honest. You know, I hate you.
Yeah. What do you really hate
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me? Are you just frustrated
with him? The right? You know,
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I can't stand you would
what does that mean was, I mean,
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I can't stand. You know,
I'm I'm really anxious about
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whether or not you want to keep
your word because you promised
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me you would do this with that.
You didn't do it. The last time
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point says feeling anxiety
right now, disappointment or
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whatnot. But sometimes is this
the more extreme things that we
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here again, because of the
lack of vocabulary. And so just
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giving that, you know, it has
such a breath or relationship.
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So let's ask a basic question.
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>> There's millions of people
watching. Yeah. How do they
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take that first step to
break that generational curse?
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>> You know, first and
foremost, it is a choice.
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You have a choice to mask a
face for Aho had a choice and
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you have these things, these
experiences that we bring along
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with us that inform us. But
it it you have to be willing to
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acknowledge that it did
not work. All right. It's OK,
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does not disparaging to your
parents. It is not disparaging
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to you or the family, you
know, coach or a dynamic when it
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doesn't work. It doesn't work,
right? So being willing to lay
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at the feet of Jesus got this
didn't work for us and I want
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to be able to do
something different and then got
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intervenes and he comes in.
He softens our heart, right?
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He opens us up in a way
out. I will want to say this to
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parents. It starts with us.
We have to be willing to give
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an example to our children.
If you want your children to be
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open with you, you must be
open with them. And you know,
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if you're in pain at the last,
you know how many parents say
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they have to be strong being
strong is a myth and it does
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not work. Right. Solar and a
lot of parents think that it's
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wrong to apologize up to
say that they've done something
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where Khalid Dji's to their
trial cause. They don't want
00:11:03.89\00:11:06.59
their kids to think I had
an experience this week with my
00:11:06.59\00:11:10.57
own mother, my mom. And we've
been healing over the years,
00:11:10.57\00:11:14.64
right. But I post a lot of
the things that I do, you know,
00:11:14.64\00:11:17.94
to help people because we
don't talk about these things.
00:11:17.94\00:11:20.48
Another mom happens to be all
social media. And so she heard
00:11:20.48\00:11:23.11
me talking about trauma of
children when parents who are
00:11:23.11\00:11:25.61
in divided homes or divorced
or co-parenting talk negatively
00:11:25.61\00:11:30.15
about the other parent, how
dangerous that is. And so what
00:11:30.15\00:11:34.16
ended up happening is my
mom gave me a call. She said,
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hey, time Arena said, hey, and
she said, you know, what did I
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do that? Because I grew up and
you know, the that's important.
00:11:39.86\00:11:43.00
Yeah.
00:11:43.00\00:11:44.33
>> That's important because
that's what we refer to as a
00:11:44.33\00:11:46.80
teachable moment.
Yes, when someone says.
00:11:46.80\00:11:50.47
>> Did I do that now?
That means they're giving you
00:11:50.47\00:11:54.04
permission to to tell, tell the
truth in them. And it took her
00:11:54.04\00:11:57.61
years to get to that point.
She admitted she was like,
00:11:57.61\00:12:00.05
you know, it took me years to
be willing to hear you. Tell me
00:12:00.05\00:12:02.72
the truth. How many parents
refuse to give their children
00:12:02.72\00:12:05.89
permission? To be honest, right
is more important to keep the
00:12:05.89\00:12:09.46
flip side or to keep the ritual
or the culture dynamic. And so
00:12:09.46\00:12:13.16
I'm I'm I'm blessed enough
to, you know, to say that my mom
00:12:13.16\00:12:16.40
did not negatively speak to me
about my dad, but she began to
00:12:16.40\00:12:19.87
tell me like, you know
what? But I know that it was
00:12:19.87\00:12:21.70
possible. You know, she's I
was broken. I was hurting. She
00:12:21.70\00:12:24.91
began to use a vocabulary,
right? She said that I was
00:12:24.91\00:12:27.48
desperate. I was of abuse.
She began to express to me now
00:12:27.48\00:12:31.95
that I'm an adult which lets
you know, that is not too late.
00:12:31.95\00:12:34.65
It now it's not too late.
Doesn't matter how old you are.
00:12:34.65\00:12:37.12
You can give your children the
freedom of acknowledge e when
00:12:37.12\00:12:40.86
you have said or done something
that's wrong. So help me here.
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Sometimes you meet people
00:12:44.89\00:12:48.46
who
00:12:48.46\00:12:50.37
>> everybody
wants to be heard. Yeah.
00:12:50.37\00:12:53.20
But some people.
00:12:53.20\00:12:55.14
I had a woman who calls me
00:12:55.14\00:12:57.47
every day for 2 months
00:12:57.47\00:12:59.24
should come to something
that I was doing in Texas
00:12:59.24\00:13:02.34
and Cheddar tht in in theology,
a doctorate in theology
00:13:02.34\00:13:08.75
and she would call me
every night for an hour. JD was
00:13:08.75\00:13:11.45
working out of town at the time.
00:13:11.45\00:13:13.72
She went through all of her
live. The you know, should this
00:13:13.72\00:13:16.69
long list of everything
that was wrong with her husband,
00:13:16.69\00:13:19.89
Anderson, and what they did to
her and how she didn't have any
00:13:19.89\00:13:23.30
France that
00:13:23.30\00:13:24.73
and I listened patiently and
I would give her some scripture
00:13:24.73\00:13:28.57
promises and pray earnestly
for her in this second, I quit
00:13:28.57\00:13:33.38
prayed should jump back in
00:13:33.38\00:13:35.98
recycling. It was rehearsing
every. Thank you. So here's I
00:13:35.98\00:13:40.88
talked with someone
the other day who said
00:13:40.88\00:13:45.42
got his heels me. I don't
want to be a professional martyr
00:13:45.42\00:13:52.36
seeking vindication.
00:13:52.36\00:13:56.06
And she said that's way my
sisters are, you know, they
00:13:56.06\00:13:58.80
just want
00:13:58.80\00:14:00.64
it had a great expression,
a professional martyrs. How do
00:14:00.64\00:14:04.24
you reach someone
00:14:04.24\00:14:07.78
who is their record is stuck.
It's the same story over and
00:14:07.78\00:14:12.95
over and they won't make it
right. How do you what do you
00:14:12.95\00:14:17.19
do? What a
catalyst to get to them?
00:14:17.19\00:14:21.32
Asked a good question.
00:14:21.32\00:14:22.49
>> You know what? I can't help
but to think about forgiveness
00:14:22.49\00:14:25.79
and the reason why this comes
up when I think about that is
00:14:25.79\00:14:28.56
because a lot of people
who find themselves in the
00:14:28.56\00:14:30.57
rehearsal, right, rehearsing,
rehearsing. There's something
00:14:30.57\00:14:33.97
that keeps them from being able
to move forward. And I'm one of
00:14:33.97\00:14:37.54
those people. I don't like
the word get over it, right,
00:14:37.54\00:14:40.11
because we're not to get over.
Things were made to go through
00:14:40.11\00:14:42.68
them, you know, and it
is important to be able to
00:14:42.68\00:14:45.65
acknowledge the things that
has happened and maybe some the
00:14:45.65\00:14:48.45
things that happened to you or
the people who have done them.
00:14:48.45\00:14:51.19
But there's a difference
between rehearsal and recovery
00:14:51.19\00:14:54.06
recovery is so that you can
reach a point because we're not
00:14:54.06\00:14:57.16
created to grief forever
were not created to constantly
00:14:57.16\00:15:02.96
keeper. Her sing these things.
The stunts are growth right
00:15:02.96\00:15:06.27
there. But there comes a
point where you can acknowledge
00:15:06.27\00:15:08.57
honestly, whatever that pain
is, whatever that break is in
00:15:08.57\00:15:11.94
the relationship with the
experiences and be and what you
00:15:11.94\00:15:15.01
can do is you can choose to for
years forgiveness is not saying
00:15:15.01\00:15:18.21
it's OK, whatever happened.
You know, whatever they did to,
00:15:18.21\00:15:21.68
you know, it is actually you
acknowledging that I'm going to
00:15:21.68\00:15:25.02
choose to forgive so that I
may be free. That's a relief.
00:15:25.02\00:15:29.12
Yes, it's not reconciliation
because they're 2 different
00:15:29.12\00:15:32.26
scenes. Reconciliation and
forgiveness are not the same.
00:15:32.26\00:15:35.03
Right. Reconciliation is
2 people agree, right? Yeah.
00:15:35.03\00:15:39.43
And willing to come together.
Forgiveness only requires one.
00:15:39.43\00:15:42.10
Yeah. And that
and that could be you.
00:15:42.10\00:15:44.84
Yeah.
00:15:44.84\00:15:47.18
>> Read that particular
question right there. All
00:15:47.18\00:15:49.41
right. But but a poll, right,
and what you just saw talking
00:15:49.41\00:15:52.78
about, we'll be here. This
is a question that just came and
00:15:52.78\00:15:57.42
this is from Tennessee. My
niece went on a 10 day vacation
00:15:57.42\00:16:01.16
with her parents and the main
time her partner of many years
00:16:01.16\00:16:04.53
that from a chronic disease,
she cannot forgive herself for
00:16:04.53\00:16:08.80
not being there with him
and feels guilt thing devastated
00:16:08.80\00:16:12.63
and not able to
cope with life. Normally,
00:16:12.63\00:16:15.84
though, a high school teacher,
she is from a Catholic family.
00:16:15.84\00:16:19.61
What could help to bring relief
to her mind and heart? I think
00:16:19.61\00:16:24.01
that you kind of
hit on it right there.
00:16:24.01\00:16:26.82
>> I think is good. It will
be good to again. It's okay to
00:16:26.82\00:16:31.95
have these feelings, right but
were not created to keep them
00:16:31.95\00:16:35.42
forever. We talk about
those 3 things last segment.
00:16:35.42\00:16:39.23
When you're referring to a loss
that you've experience is is
00:16:39.23\00:16:42.26
it's really important to be
a bit knowledge things that you
00:16:42.26\00:16:44.37
wish you could
have done different
00:16:44.37\00:16:46.20
things you could have done
better are things you wish you
00:16:46.20\00:16:48.44
could have done more.
00:16:48.44\00:16:49.80
Once you acknowledge those
things actually bring them up
00:16:49.80\00:16:52.51
and out to at least another
humidity, right? Talk about
00:16:52.51\00:16:55.98
them right at Dow. Right.
And once you do that, surrender
00:16:55.98\00:17:00.58
that to God, knowing that you
are honest, right, God is not
00:17:00.58\00:17:04.82
judging you about those
thoughts and guilt and shame is
00:17:04.82\00:17:07.79
not literally guilt and shame
kills people every single day
00:17:07.79\00:17:11.03
right there. People who end
up in the hospital with sickness
00:17:11.03\00:17:13.43
and disease, not even because
diseases, Nestle necessarily
00:17:13.43\00:17:17.33
there, but because we refuse to
heal, right, that it feels more
00:17:17.33\00:17:21.64
comfortable to hold on to that
stress causes inflammation and
00:17:21.64\00:17:24.97
inflammation causes
disease. Yeah, right.
00:17:24.97\00:17:27.74
>> And they see if you agree
with this. I was counseling the
00:17:27.74\00:17:30.88
someone the other day and
00:17:30.88\00:17:33.65
it took her a long time,
too. It was easy to see that.
00:17:33.65\00:17:38.05
She was very definitely
00:17:38.05\00:17:41.72
terribly emotionally abused. But
00:17:41.72\00:17:46.33
it took her. You know, you
don't want to take somebody
00:17:46.33\00:17:48.70
there that got to get
there, too. So she finally
00:17:48.70\00:17:51.97
recognize it in admitted it
00:17:51.97\00:17:54.94
and she became angry because
she's been lied to for a number
00:17:54.94\00:17:57.91
of years.
00:17:57.91\00:17:59.91
Do you think righteous anger?
I almost feel like it's OK to
00:17:59.91\00:18:04.01
be angry for a while. You just
can't be angry for a long time.
00:18:04.01\00:18:07.48
Let it out and talk to
somebody. If somebody swoon,
00:18:07.48\00:18:10.99
did you do, you don't have
to be so pass seabed. It's just
00:18:10.99\00:18:15.89
sometimes people will say just
choose to forgive. It's hard to
00:18:15.89\00:18:19.23
forgive the day you're feeling.
And so God take sheath through
00:18:19.23\00:18:23.83
this process of forgiving.
So you go beyond the right to
00:18:23.83\00:18:28.30
say Grier, 30 kids, get it out.
Yeah. And then you go into the
00:18:28.30\00:18:32.81
next step. It's not just
00:18:32.81\00:18:35.24
sometimes we say
choose to pick him but
00:18:35.24\00:18:38.95
>> it is a process. Yeah, yes.
The choice of forgiveness is
00:18:38.95\00:18:43.39
there are layers. There is
the acknowledgement, right talk
00:18:43.39\00:18:46.76
about what is it that you've
lost? What is it that you'd
00:18:46.76\00:18:49.26
expect? What are you angry
about? This anger isn't a bad
00:18:49.26\00:18:51.49
emotion, right? Have it is.
I got I know we don't like to
00:18:51.49\00:18:54.50
hear but it is a got a motion
mid right? You're saying are
00:18:54.50\00:18:57.53
right. And so it is important
to be able to do that. Yeah.
00:18:57.53\00:19:01.00
>> Yeah. And I'm thinking of
I think is in Matthew Chapter 5
00:19:01.00\00:19:05.34
where Jesus is. I'm
giving a sermon on the mount
00:19:05.34\00:19:10.31
and he uses that
term. If you're angry
00:19:10.31\00:19:16.05
at your brother
00:19:16.05\00:19:17.79
and the original language, what
it means, it is not saying that
00:19:17.79\00:19:23.49
it was a sand but
00:19:23.49\00:19:25.99
anger to know even. Yeah.
Okay. So it's were foreign to
00:19:25.99\00:19:30.33
this ongoing. You know, I'm not
letting go of it. I'm not doing
00:19:30.33\00:19:35.87
it. I'm not surrendering.
I'm not looking to heal from
00:19:35.87\00:19:38.27
it. I'm not coming to the point
of acknowledging it and letting
00:19:38.27\00:19:41.41
it go. No, no, you
know, I think some of us have
00:19:41.41\00:19:44.71
experienced that. I just want
to remain angry. Yeah, I don't
00:19:44.71\00:19:49.82
want to forgive you like I want
to keep this thing that there
00:19:49.82\00:19:54.39
is between us and there's
many of people who have that
00:19:54.39\00:19:57.89
experience. And that's what
Jesus was saying is, you know,
00:19:57.89\00:20:01.90
that's that's the simple thing.
It's where we are unwilling to
00:20:01.90\00:20:06.03
to let go of it.
00:20:06.03\00:20:07.20
>> Well, there are so
many things. So I think you
00:20:07.20\00:20:09.04
explained that her least
got a fantastic picture of the
00:20:09.04\00:20:12.94
iceberg. There's a lot of stuff
that's going down underneath
00:20:12.94\00:20:17.25
the water there that, you know,
once a year and they probably
00:20:17.25\00:20:20.25
don't realize because they
don't want to let go of that.
00:20:20.25\00:20:22.42
Yeah, you know, maybe
that's the maybe that's their
00:20:22.42\00:20:25.15
opportunity to be heard.
00:20:25.15\00:20:27.16
Want to read this and the
question before, do that do
00:20:27.16\00:20:30.53
better and what the 3 things
do. Better deflator, different,
00:20:30.53\00:20:34.20
more better different door.
Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, it could
00:20:34.20\00:20:37.83
use the this is a this
is interesting right here.
00:20:37.83\00:20:44.04
I there's 3
people involved here.
00:20:44.04\00:20:47.91
I have 2 siblings. Our last
living parent died about a year
00:20:47.91\00:20:52.08
ago. Okay.
00:20:52.08\00:20:54.38
One of us is mentally ill.
00:20:54.38\00:20:57.22
One is that had they come and
the others physically disabled
00:20:57.22\00:21:01.76
us.
00:21:01.76\00:21:02.89
We're starting to feel the
stress of dealing with the last
00:21:02.89\00:21:05.36
of the state started. Take it
out of each other. How could we
00:21:05.36\00:21:09.20
help this
situation prayed to God
00:21:09.20\00:21:14.00
for help on this
and some tough one.
00:21:14.00\00:21:17.27
>> This is it's tough for
so many, you know, and I just
00:21:17.27\00:21:20.81
first again, want to
acknowledge the loss and the
00:21:20.81\00:21:23.18
pain of that loss, you
know, and how huge that is. And
00:21:23.18\00:21:27.52
oftentimes children feel even
though they're older, they feel
00:21:27.52\00:21:30.19
abandoned right at the loss of
the parents. I just want you to
00:21:30.19\00:21:32.89
know that that losses
acknowledged, but I also want
00:21:32.89\00:21:36.66
to acknowledge the reality
of the compound in us of their
00:21:36.66\00:21:39.96
circumstance, right? They're
experiencing a lot of losses,
00:21:39.96\00:21:44.53
a lot of changes all at once.
And on top of that, having to
00:21:44.53\00:21:48.00
work through some things such
as in the state, right? I'm in
00:21:48.00\00:21:51.44
a perfect world. Someone
would probably tell you that's
00:21:51.44\00:21:54.34
probably not the best thing
to do right right now. And yet
00:21:54.34\00:21:58.01
you're left having to do it.
You know, if you could, and I
00:21:58.01\00:22:01.48
don't know what the dynamics
of your family is, right, if
00:22:01.48\00:22:04.29
you're used to doing this.
But if you could take some time
00:22:04.29\00:22:08.29
as siblings to separate
yourselves for a moment from
00:22:08.29\00:22:11.59
the actual state
00:22:11.59\00:22:13.63
and process, the
loss of your parents,
00:22:13.63\00:22:16.26
Brian. And I know that that
can be difficult, but that's
00:22:16.26\00:22:19.20
important because that's really
what the underlying pain is.
00:22:19.20\00:22:23.30
And so what happens as we get
busy and that's another one of
00:22:23.30\00:22:26.41
the Miss Wright. Just keep
busy. You know, it will get
00:22:26.41\00:22:29.28
better. But you know what?
That is a mis keeping busy does
00:22:29.28\00:22:32.35
not quell the pain or have
things to do. Know it doesn't,
00:22:32.35\00:22:36.22
if you can at all
possible. Take a step back
00:22:36.22\00:22:40.16
and sit down as a family,
right, and have a moment to
00:22:40.16\00:22:44.46
process to what you just
experienced individually and
00:22:44.46\00:22:47.86
collectively as a family for
this situation is exacerbated
00:22:47.86\00:22:51.47
because one's middle. Yes.
Was that at 8? Yes, disabled.
00:22:51.47\00:22:54.97
Yeah, it's.
00:22:54.97\00:22:56.94
>> I think it's hard to process
pain and loss and grief when
00:22:56.94\00:23:02.71
you why your dad? Yeah, we
need because there's something
00:23:02.71\00:23:06.08
that's been going on
there. Obviously in that family.
00:23:06.08\00:23:09.25
Yeah, a said situation. I have
one more question and I want to
00:23:09.25\00:23:14.29
talk to you about what your
new programs going to bake. This
00:23:14.29\00:23:19.09
woman is saying her mother
came to live with them and then
00:23:19.09\00:23:23.37
became very ill. She had put
her in a nursing home. Is she
00:23:23.37\00:23:27.27
head bad back and couldn't
care for? Her mother was very
00:23:27.27\00:23:30.61
difficult for her. But
00:23:30.61\00:23:33.44
after 2 weeks in the nursing
home, she died and she got a
00:23:33.44\00:23:38.15
call at one 30 in the morning
inch can forgive yourself
00:23:38.15\00:23:40.75
because first she thought
hospice with let her know what
00:23:40.75\00:23:45.59
her mother was close. And
she didn't realize she was that
00:23:45.59\00:23:49.26
close. And so she's just saying
it's so painful to think that I
00:23:49.26\00:23:54.20
wasn't there and she died alone.
00:23:54.20\00:23:57.07
We often here's your 3 words.
Better more or yeah, what's
00:23:57.07\00:24:04.04
that? They're better
different, different different.
00:24:04.04\00:24:07.38
I think being a disappointment
to someone that we love dearly
00:24:07.38\00:24:13.52
is it makes a change like this.
00:24:13.52\00:24:17.49
>> Really difficult. Can
you trust them yet? You know,
00:24:17.49\00:24:21.02
there actually are 2 different
categories of losses. You have
00:24:21.02\00:24:24.39
tangible losses, right? Things
you can touch, taste, feel C
00:24:24.39\00:24:28.10
and they have in tangible
intangible as where that's the
00:24:28.10\00:24:31.17
area of expectations. Last
expectation, loss of trust,
00:24:31.17\00:24:35.70
loss of dreams, opportunity,
loss of innocence, right?
00:24:35.70\00:24:38.87
Those are in those categories
and they make it much more
00:24:38.87\00:24:41.71
difficult to process through
because we don't talk about
00:24:41.71\00:24:45.31
that when greedy. And it
sounds like to me and again
00:24:45.31\00:24:48.28
acknowledging a loss and how
being so sorry. All right for
00:24:48.28\00:24:51.65
that experience for you.
But it is okay to had wished
00:24:51.65\00:24:56.29
for had hoped, right? Some
people lost. Some people lose
00:24:56.29\00:24:59.03
hope, right? And that is
another area of that a lot of
00:24:59.03\00:25:04.13
people experiencing go through
when it comes to these types of
00:25:04.13\00:25:06.67
relationships relinquish.
It sounds like too, that she
00:25:06.67\00:25:09.17
experienced the relinquishing
of care. Yeah, right. There's a
00:25:09.17\00:25:12.11
process to the loss that she
went through. You know? Yeah,
00:25:12.11\00:25:15.64
I think.
00:25:15.64\00:25:17.58
>> And again, I don't know
the entire situation, but I also
00:25:17.58\00:25:21.15
think that it is quite possible
for us to have unrealistic
00:25:21.15\00:25:25.49
expectations of
ourselves. Yeah, so and so
00:25:25.49\00:25:30.29
I mean, just think about that.
00:25:30.29\00:25:32.69
I'm always supposed to be
there. Yeah, well, God is the
00:25:32.69\00:25:36.26
only one who can always yes,
ride. And so for me to expect
00:25:36.26\00:25:41.40
myself to be and do something
that only God can do. Yeah,
00:25:41.40\00:25:47.78
it's it's misplaced
expectations. And I think,
00:25:47.78\00:25:51.61
you know, we can actually
00:25:51.61\00:25:53.65
we can actually take some
confidence and the fat that the
00:25:53.65\00:25:58.15
calls I am limited. Yeah,
and I'm not able to always be
00:25:58.15\00:26:02.19
there, but God is not limited.
And he is always able to be
00:26:02.19\00:26:06.86
there that God can
00:26:06.86\00:26:10.00
you could be in places where
we can. I remember I was in this
00:26:10.00\00:26:14.20
was like 2004
00:26:14.20\00:26:16.00
and I was in Guatemala. We were
doing some fans of the state
00:26:16.00\00:26:20.58
works in the country of
Guatemala and a little town
00:26:20.58\00:26:24.25
called lawful.
00:26:24.25\00:26:25.71
And I remember going to a
little Internet cafe and my
00:26:25.71\00:26:31.52
wife e-mailed me that my
grandfather had passed away.
00:26:31.52\00:26:37.69
I was devastated. Yeah, because
we had literally just arrived
00:26:37.69\00:26:43.33
there and maybe 2 days before
and there's all 2 and a half
00:26:43.33\00:26:48.20
weeks worth of stuff to go.
And quite frankly, I wanted to
00:26:48.20\00:26:52.84
be with my family. And, you
know, I wanted to be with my
00:26:52.84\00:26:55.88
family that wanted to
grieve with them. I wanted to
00:26:55.88\00:26:59.38
do all those things
I know for get that,
00:26:59.38\00:27:03.15
you know, I pray
00:27:03.15\00:27:05.29
a very simple
prayer. And I said, Lord,
00:27:05.29\00:27:08.39
you know, I really want to
be with my family right now
00:27:08.39\00:27:12.59
and it hurts that. I
cannot be there with them.
00:27:12.59\00:27:16.40
But I know you can. That's and
I know that you can not only be
00:27:16.40\00:27:21.54
there with my family, but you
can be there with my family in
00:27:21.54\00:27:24.97
a way that I can't I back
him. We badly hands on a mocking
00:27:24.97\00:27:29.34
them. Brace them. You know, I
can, you know, talk with them.
00:27:29.34\00:27:33.15
Laugh with him. Cry with them.
But you can be there with my
00:27:33.15\00:27:36.65
family in a way that I can't.
You can do something for them.
00:27:36.65\00:27:40.49
That is not possible for me to
do. And that's what I need you
00:27:40.49\00:27:44.43
to do for me. Lord, I'm here
because you said you sent me
00:27:44.43\00:27:48.90
year. Yeah, and I can't be
there and here, but you can be
00:27:48.90\00:27:53.67
there while I'm handling your
business here. I need you to
00:27:53.67\00:27:56.94
take care of something that's
near and dear to me, you know
00:27:56.94\00:27:59.61
there. And so
00:27:59.61\00:28:01.14
that principle has something
is something that's been present
00:28:01.14\00:28:04.75
and my life. And I think that
can help us to understand there
00:28:04.75\00:28:08.28
are times when we're simply not
going to be able to be there.
00:28:08.28\00:28:11.92
You know, I think of the parent
or the family member of a loved
00:28:11.92\00:28:16.86
one of the Fran who hears a
testimony about someone that
00:28:16.86\00:28:21.66
you love, who was hurt,
00:28:21.66\00:28:24.37
you wish you think
00:28:24.37\00:28:27.34
how come I didn't recognize
how come I didn't see that. How
00:28:27.34\00:28:31.04
come I wasn't there? If
only I would have right.
00:28:31.04\00:28:35.04
And our hearts are broken
because that different the
00:28:35.04\00:28:38.45
better on more.
Yeah. And and yet,
00:28:38.45\00:28:41.75
you know, there is a God.
There is a God who sees yes,
00:28:41.75\00:28:45.75
there is a guy who knows there
is a God who can heal, right?
00:28:45.75\00:28:50.59
He can heal in ways that
00:28:50.59\00:28:52.96
quite frankly, we can't even
imagine. And so I think bearing
00:28:52.96\00:28:57.87
burdens that we cannot bear.
Yeah, instead of giving them
00:28:57.87\00:29:01.87
over to the Lord. And I
would like to suggest that
00:29:01.87\00:29:06.41
even though as a
summer has a daughter
00:29:06.41\00:29:09.98
couldn't be
there with her mother,
00:29:09.98\00:29:13.72
that God could be there.
And I believe he was due to.
00:29:13.72\00:29:17.59
>> You know what? 2 things I've
learned. I've that's precious.
00:29:17.59\00:29:20.96
And I'm going to hold that
because I have a tendency to be
00:29:20.96\00:29:27.83
overly responsible and always
feeling like a need to try to
00:29:27.83\00:29:31.40
meet people's needs. But the
other thing that I've learned
00:29:31.40\00:29:35.17
and I hope you watch this,
if you're going to pick up new
00:29:35.17\00:29:38.84
vocabulary, you
really have to listen.
00:29:38.84\00:29:42.74
I learned from
you tonight, Tammy,
00:29:42.74\00:29:47.28
every prayer
requests that's come in.
00:29:47.28\00:29:50.05
You say
00:29:50.05\00:29:51.35
I nobly jump your pain. I
acknowledge your feelings so
00:29:51.35\00:29:57.76
often
00:29:57.76\00:30:00.16
we can be sharing
something with someone
00:30:00.16\00:30:03.83
and they just start
talking about something else.
00:30:03.83\00:30:06.77
And you feel like what you just
shared was not know each and
00:30:06.77\00:30:13.31
all of this said
somebody is coming at you with,
00:30:13.31\00:30:17.61
you know
something to do whatever.
00:30:17.61\00:30:20.18
It's that can be painful.
I love that. That one thing I
00:30:20.18\00:30:24.65
do with people who act
00:30:24.65\00:30:29.09
bad situations,
I don't tell them
00:30:29.09\00:30:31.86
I understand how you
feel. I can only imagine how you
00:30:31.86\00:30:35.33
fester and grow. Hear what
you're saying. I did, but it
00:30:35.33\00:30:39.07
but we don't. You know, nobody.
I don't care. Even though we've
00:30:39.07\00:30:42.94
lost our parents.
We've lost that. We still
00:30:42.94\00:30:47.21
you don't know what it was
going through. Every situation
00:30:47.21\00:30:51.11
is different. Yes, but it's
I love that I am not a wage in.
00:30:51.11\00:30:57.95
That's something I think
is going to try to incorporate
00:30:57.95\00:31:00.49
into my vocabulary by listening
vocabulary is nuts. It's a
00:31:00.49\00:31:04.93
great spot, but I think
it's important to set up front.
00:31:04.93\00:31:08.16
Yeah, I got on the
end. But the Prime Min?
00:31:08.16\00:31:12.57
>> No. That is a precious
minutes. It's a kinder time.
00:31:12.57\00:31:15.77
>> Yeah. One last question
before we get in because this
00:31:15.77\00:31:19.04
one we get a lot
00:31:19.04\00:31:20.91
will someone who
committed suicide go to heaven.
00:31:20.91\00:31:28.18
>> I'm so I don't know who
wrote the sand, but I'm so glad
00:31:28.18\00:31:31.65
you did, because I really
believe that there are so many
00:31:31.65\00:31:36.36
people right
now who are carrying
00:31:36.36\00:31:40.00
such a heavy load
00:31:40.00\00:31:42.00
because of someone that they
love or they know has done such
00:31:42.00\00:31:45.60
a thing.
00:31:45.60\00:31:46.74
One of the things I want to
acknowledge is mental illness.
00:31:46.74\00:31:50.51
Mental illness is on the rise
and it is a real thing. But we
00:31:50.51\00:31:53.54
have had around forever
00:31:53.54\00:31:56.08
and I believe
with my whole heart
00:31:56.08\00:31:59.41
that got also understands
why due to illness of the mind
00:31:59.41\00:32:03.59
and and how it
reaches a breaking point.
00:32:03.59\00:32:06.76
And I believe that God
winks not only in our ignorance,
00:32:06.76\00:32:10.13
but he has grace and mercy.
And and I think we need to be
00:32:10.13\00:32:13.29
very careful, very
careful when we attribute
00:32:13.29\00:32:18.23
when someone is going through
a mental illness because that's
00:32:18.23\00:32:20.40
what that is. When a person
is so broken that they are not
00:32:20.40\00:32:23.54
they are willing to take their
own life. They are mentally and
00:32:23.54\00:32:26.47
emotionally broken man and God
looks upon that broken person,
00:32:26.47\00:32:31.88
the city.
00:32:31.88\00:32:33.75
And so I'm going to say
00:32:33.75\00:32:35.92
that when Jesus comes,
he's going to call his children
00:32:35.92\00:32:40.22
and grace and in mercy and
understands the Cygnus of the
00:32:40.22\00:32:45.29
human heart.
00:32:45.29\00:32:46.73
>> A man I read this, I
read someplace and it touched my
00:32:46.73\00:32:52.77
heart because I think this is
a question that we're all we all
00:32:52.77\00:32:56.50
want to say. The right things
00:32:56.50\00:32:58.87
and
00:32:58.87\00:33:02.48
>> what pork? How do
you handle the situation
00:33:02.48\00:33:06.61
if their kidneys stop
00:33:06.61\00:33:09.22
functioning and
they passed away?
00:33:09.22\00:33:12.52
Well, they had a sick kid.
Nice tie. What do you do when
00:33:12.52\00:33:17.36
someone has a bad heart?
Yeah. They pass away. They had
00:33:17.36\00:33:20.96
a sick heart.
Yes. What happens if
00:33:20.96\00:33:25.40
if their mind
00:33:25.40\00:33:28.57
if they
00:33:28.57\00:33:29.80
can't stand that may be
longer had a sick mind as and to
00:33:29.80\00:33:35.51
Maine.
00:33:35.51\00:33:37.35
That makes sense. Yes, yes.
And you know, it really brought
00:33:37.35\00:33:40.78
that home to me.
00:33:40.78\00:33:42.35
>> It wasn't a suicide. It
was the addiction of my father.
00:33:42.35\00:33:47.12
It wasn't until recently
returning back to school and
00:33:47.12\00:33:50.46
learning about the brain, how
the brain works and addiction
00:33:50.46\00:33:53.90
that I saw my father and a
whole new light. My father was
00:33:53.90\00:33:57.27
not only dealing with
neurological addiction because
00:33:57.27\00:34:00.04
he was a generational
alcoholic, his grandfather and
00:34:00.04\00:34:03.17
great
grandfather and his father.
00:34:03.17\00:34:05.57
But he was also dealing with
the biological functions of his
00:34:05.57\00:34:08.64
system. And when he finally
got so because, you know, for
00:34:08.64\00:34:11.61
anyone who's fighting sobriety
or any addiction, it takes few
00:34:11.61\00:34:15.08
times. I yeah, several times.
And for those of us on the
00:34:15.08\00:34:18.42
outside looking in, we get
angry and your friend, I was
00:34:18.42\00:34:21.02
one of those people as a rookie
or I see my dad go through
00:34:21.02\00:34:23.73
addiction. Well,
my father finally
00:34:23.73\00:34:26.90
take the 26 years that all
right, praise praise be to God,
00:34:26.90\00:34:30.73
but I did not understand
him until recently. And I had to
00:34:30.73\00:34:33.90
say first had asked God to
forgive me because I did not
00:34:33.90\00:34:36.94
understand
00:34:36.94\00:34:38.47
the true depths of what
he was fighting mentally and
00:34:38.47\00:34:41.78
neurologically and
biologically. And so God is the
00:34:41.78\00:34:46.01
one who understands about
the DNA was written right in the
00:34:46.01\00:34:50.22
things that were battling, you
know, and we serve a merciful
00:34:50.22\00:34:53.15
God and loving God. You know,
song 87 when the Lord takes a
00:34:53.15\00:34:58.33
sense of, yes, that's my
favorite off. He will write
00:34:58.33\00:35:01.46
that this one was born there.
He knows in the end, no asset
00:35:01.46\00:35:07.37
is pressure. Yeah. All right. So
00:35:07.37\00:35:10.54
>> you all have a great
hospitality ministry who have a
00:35:10.54\00:35:17.25
break. Speaking ministry, the
pastor, but traffic counseling
00:35:17.25\00:35:23.75
Ministry you're getting
ready to. Are you your heart's
00:35:23.75\00:35:27.76
desire, God, he's slated
on your heart that you want to
00:35:27.76\00:35:31.23
start having intensive
workshops. Let's talk about
00:35:31.23\00:35:34.46
that.
00:35:34.46\00:35:35.46
>> Yeah, one of
the one of the strains
00:35:35.46\00:35:40.34
one of our strengths
00:35:40.34\00:35:42.77
is it's just us and a lot has
been gracious and kind enough
00:35:42.77\00:35:48.31
to
00:35:48.31\00:35:50.75
to give us
00:35:50.75\00:35:53.55
and and a willingness
to open our home. And
00:35:53.55\00:35:59.05
and so it
00:35:59.05\00:36:00.66
it's it's a burden that he's
laying on us is something that
00:36:00.66\00:36:03.59
we've done actually. And
00:36:03.59\00:36:06.06
and and several ways. I think
it was 10 years ago we decided
00:36:06.06\00:36:11.97
we wanted to a small
room. Yeah. All the rules vary
00:36:11.97\00:36:15.77
couples. One, 20 couples who is
so much so that we had to split
00:36:15.77\00:36:21.94
them and had to split the
mom one on Friday night one on
00:36:21.94\00:36:24.85
Saturday night
00:36:24.85\00:36:26.28
and and we were we were going
through that. We develop as one
00:36:26.28\00:36:31.15
of the things that,
00:36:31.15\00:36:32.52
you know, when people
visit stamina for life and they
00:36:32.52\00:36:36.49
subscribe, we're working on
finishing the program that we
00:36:36.49\00:36:41.56
developed and we're using for
that group. We met for about 10
00:36:41.56\00:36:45.33
to 12 weeks together. And
00:36:45.33\00:36:50.01
we didn't even know at the time
what God was doing. I think you
00:36:50.01\00:36:54.08
just pulled up something.
00:36:54.08\00:36:55.78
>> So at what I was, again,
speaking at a retreat this past
00:36:55.78\00:36:58.81
weekend or 2 weeks ago, and
a young lady came on her lover,
00:36:58.81\00:37:03.25
she came up to me and she said,
you know, I know you're not
00:37:03.25\00:37:05.99
aware, but I just need to tell
you something. And, you know,
00:37:05.99\00:37:09.29
she began to sit down and talk
to me. This is pretty much what
00:37:09.29\00:37:11.59
she said. She said, my husband
and I were invited. Now this is
00:37:11.59\00:37:14.93
her giving her testimony.
My husband and I were invited
00:37:14.93\00:37:17.77
to participate in the Salt
Marriage group being a member
00:37:17.77\00:37:20.77
of saw you are encouraged
to share and communicate at the
00:37:20.77\00:37:24.67
time. We were not in a good
place as a result of our being
00:37:24.67\00:37:28.38
current state of our as a
result of than our current
00:37:28.38\00:37:31.31
state, the current state of
our marriage. We were unable to
00:37:31.31\00:37:34.82
receive fully what was what
it was that the convoys were
00:37:34.82\00:37:38.35
trying to teach us like how
to communicate with one another
00:37:38.35\00:37:41.49
and to do it in a safe place
for each other. We were also
00:37:41.49\00:37:45.06
given tools on how to grow
together with GAAP being the
00:37:45.06\00:37:47.96
center today. My husband and
I both have come to understand
00:37:47.96\00:37:52.33
understanding of what the
Conways we're trying to give
00:37:52.33\00:37:55.10
us. And now we are able
to reach out. 25 years of
00:37:55.10\00:37:58.44
marriage, enjoy one another
in conversations while studying
00:37:58.44\00:38:02.64
God's word. And we're see share
that with me. You know, you
00:38:02.64\00:38:06.35
don't get a chance to see
people finish the work. Yeah,
00:38:06.35\00:38:10.09
and it was such a
beautiful thing because
00:38:10.09\00:38:12.65
>> we we we we we we pray
all the time I got. What do you
00:38:12.65\00:38:15.59
want us to do? You know, like
what he in lately? He's just
00:38:15.59\00:38:18.49
been sending people telling
us why we're going to do this
00:38:18.49\00:38:21.46
again. And we need to come.
We have pastoral couples who,
00:38:21.46\00:38:24.77
you know, need to place a safe
place to come. We have people.
00:38:24.77\00:38:28.64
>> You know, missionaries
missionaries and we'll look at
00:38:28.64\00:38:30.87
that history. Yeah, and here's
what I want to say because
00:38:30.87\00:38:33.61
people I think sometimes you
are watching at home, look at
00:38:33.61\00:38:37.98
people in ministry and 2
00:38:37.98\00:38:40.65
high lethally lights. And
I want to tell you something,
00:38:40.65\00:38:44.59
you know, Daddy
came home Monday night
00:38:44.59\00:38:47.96
and when he
walked in the door said
00:38:47.96\00:38:50.26
I'm a little unsettled. Haha,
what's wrong? And I said it
00:38:50.26\00:38:54.56
just been a day and there is
so many problems kind of happens
00:38:54.56\00:38:59.23
or bigname almost. Yeah.
It is super counseling with
00:38:59.23\00:39:02.70
people and it I had to just
go work it out with the Lord.
00:39:02.70\00:39:07.68
Yeah. But what you don't
understand, these people in
00:39:07.68\00:39:10.95
ministry often are
00:39:10.95\00:39:14.82
afraid to talk to somebody
because of the shame that you
00:39:14.82\00:39:18.05
know there for a day. I
mean, I'm in a stream with
00:39:18.05\00:39:21.49
I'm counseling with.
00:39:21.49\00:39:24.36
>> Couples in ministry who are
happy and very difficult time
00:39:24.36\00:39:28.46
and they will. They can't.
They won't tell anybody in
00:39:28.46\00:39:31.57
their church.
00:39:31.57\00:39:33.34
It's very difficult.
00:39:33.34\00:39:35.40
>> Because ministry can be very
demanding. Yeah, we all have to
00:39:35.40\00:39:39.14
be careful. So I think it's
wonderful. But you're not doing
00:39:39.14\00:39:42.84
this just for people ministry
tells you how we want to do
00:39:42.84\00:39:47.32
individuals as
00:39:47.32\00:39:48.58
>> my wife was talking so
wonderfully about, you know,
00:39:48.58\00:39:52.95
change challenges and choices.
There are people who are
00:39:52.95\00:39:55.82
experiencing. Yeah, you know,
significant loss or significant
00:39:55.82\00:39:59.86
change and the laws and we want
to we want to be able to have a
00:39:59.86\00:40:03.93
space where we are able to open
up and allow people to come in
00:40:03.93\00:40:09.70
and to that space, you know,
and an intensive a type of a
00:40:09.70\00:40:15.58
program.
00:40:15.58\00:40:16.75
>> Where they can experience
healing and they can get tools.
00:40:16.75\00:40:19.78
And so we talk about people
coming and staying for weekend
00:40:19.78\00:40:23.15
or week. In fact.
00:40:23.15\00:40:25.35
>> I don't know if you I did
actually follow up. JD one of
00:40:25.35\00:40:29.66
your your high school
friends. Yeah. And yes, the
00:40:29.66\00:40:36.26
and actually that's what
the guy was a look. Wherever you
00:40:36.26\00:40:39.43
guys are. We're calm, you know
what will put on a plane and
00:40:39.43\00:40:43.24
will. And so what we want to
be able to do is where we have
00:40:43.24\00:40:46.81
conversations like that.
We want to say, hey, come on,
00:40:46.81\00:40:50.81
yes, spend the next 4 or 5 days
with us. And we have a program
00:40:50.81\00:40:55.28
that that we'll walk
through with you to help you.
00:40:55.28\00:40:59.29
>> And we've been an
interesting place over the last
00:40:59.29\00:41:01.92
18 months because we were
live, you know, living in a
00:41:01.92\00:41:04.99
particular place. And just
so happens that unfortunately,
00:41:04.99\00:41:08.16
the person who owns that
facility right needs to sell
00:41:08.16\00:41:10.77
that place. But the lawyer
really put on our hearts a few
00:41:10.77\00:41:14.34
weeks ago, right for us to want
to ask him, you know, because
00:41:14.34\00:41:18.41
it has everything has a place
for the people to come and stay
00:41:18.41\00:41:21.48
has recording area for us to
have the studio to create more
00:41:21.48\00:41:24.11
content and just.
00:41:24.11\00:41:26.82
>> It was a year looking for
ministry headquarters. You this
00:41:26.82\00:41:29.88
is why. Yeah, prairie get
what the Lord is lying on your
00:41:29.88\00:41:32.92
heart.
00:41:32.92\00:41:34.06
>> Yeah, yeah. And we have a
lot of people that we know who
00:41:34.06\00:41:36.96
share the same burden, you
know, who would love to be able
00:41:36.96\00:41:40.76
to come
alongside and help so good.
00:41:40.76\00:41:43.93
>> So how can people engage?
I know that stamina for life is
00:41:43.93\00:41:49.34
set 501, C 3 minutes straight.
How it? Steve? You're so cute.
00:41:49.34\00:41:54.31
You're like me. You want people
to realize that you're not just
00:41:54.31\00:42:00.05
seeking donations, but you want
to give them something. So tell
00:42:00.05\00:42:03.89
us about ways they can engage
with your ministry. That will
00:42:03.89\00:42:07.79
also help support this
new vision, this mission that
00:42:07.79\00:42:12.13
you're on. And we think
it's, you know, we talk about
00:42:12.13\00:42:15.40
lifestyle centers. We need
emotional one. That's where
00:42:15.40\00:42:21.67
people there's so many people
that we've read. Isaiah 55 6,
00:42:21.67\00:42:27.88
the thought have to change it.
If the thoughts don't change,
00:42:27.88\00:42:32.41
nothing's changing. So how can
we engage with your ministry?
00:42:32.41\00:42:36.32
>> Yeah. So I like that word.
Engage. There's 3 ways. One.
00:42:36.32\00:42:43.36
If you visit the
website, you can subscribe
00:42:43.36\00:42:46.66
and you click that little
subscribe button and it will
00:42:46.66\00:42:50.33
tell you all the information
you need. The other one is you
00:42:50.33\00:42:53.94
can engage through pre ordering
one of the books that we talked
00:42:53.94\00:42:59.27
about time was book or the
2 weeks notice down and then a
00:42:59.27\00:43:05.68
3rd are ways for those who
would like to donate and what
00:43:05.68\00:43:08.78
we decide it is that for those
who, you know, make a donation
00:43:08.78\00:43:13.52
of, yeah, forget what the cause
was. The police have to forgive
00:43:13.52\00:43:17.16
me. But for those who make
a certain donation that what
00:43:17.16\00:43:20.50
we'll do is we'll give them
one year's access to all of our
00:43:20.50\00:43:26.40
content and all of our
materials and that of their
00:43:26.40\00:43:29.57
online. So the videos, the
audio and we're also work in a
00:43:29.57\00:43:34.58
plane yesterday. We do have
a podcast, but we're working on
00:43:34.58\00:43:39.15
putting more content and the
audio format for people who are
00:43:39.15\00:43:43.55
just drive in this. And then I
want to listen to something now
00:43:43.55\00:43:46.19
that's going to be, you
know, enriching the school, a
00:43:46.19\00:43:49.32
nurturer and and help me to
grow. And so those 3 ways they
00:43:49.32\00:43:53.76
can gaze to a subscription
through one of the book's
00:43:53.76\00:43:58.10
preorder Knowles or through
making a donation. And our our
00:43:58.10\00:44:01.90
goal, he is that we feel like
it's a modest goal, but we want
00:44:01.90\00:44:07.08
people to engage and not just
engage. Don't just eat. You are
00:44:07.08\00:44:12.11
that that saying, you
know, I'm just a banker,
00:44:12.11\00:44:15.78
China to allow the back
when they can go in find Brit.
00:44:15.78\00:44:19.55
So what we want people to do
is engage when they've engaged
00:44:19.55\00:44:23.53
sure mental. If it's knows
if he's nurtured its bless you
00:44:23.53\00:44:28.06
them. Our prayer is that
we could have 100,000 gauge.
00:44:28.06\00:44:32.10
What's there now? That's good.
If we have 100,000 and gauge
00:44:32.10\00:44:36.34
muntz and people are sharing
like that, then we can also see
00:44:36.34\00:44:40.41
the start of a radical
revolution and relationships
00:44:40.41\00:44:44.91
now.
00:44:44.91\00:44:46.18
>> I like the radical
revolution in relationships.
00:44:46.18\00:44:48.95
OK? So who can go to their Web
site? Which is Stamina? S T AM
00:44:48.95\00:44:56.73
E N a
00:44:56.73\00:44:59.13
per stamina for just
the number 4 life dot com
00:44:59.13\00:45:07.74
and become involved in that.
If somebody I'm just let me ask
00:45:07.74\00:45:12.54
you this question,
00:45:12.54\00:45:14.31
God didn't bring you here
tonight. He didn't give you
00:45:14.31\00:45:17.11
this patient
00:45:17.11\00:45:18.55
just to say, OK,
00:45:18.55\00:45:20.98
become a subscriber. Somebody
probably who is watching this
00:45:20.98\00:45:25.42
program tonight. The Lord
is speaking to them. They would
00:45:25.42\00:45:28.02
like to make a sizable
donation. Should they go to a
00:45:28.02\00:45:32.86
surge? Donate but not in
your there. Most certainly is a
00:45:32.86\00:45:35.90
donate button.
00:45:35.90\00:45:37.17
>> And as you mentioned, they
will receive a tax deductible
00:45:37.17\00:45:40.97
receipt for that that love gift.
00:45:40.97\00:45:44.01
>> But the lower places on the
hardest to get you now, what if
00:45:44.01\00:45:46.78
somebody like I would be this
person? What if somebody were
00:45:46.78\00:45:50.95
is watching in says
00:45:50.95\00:45:53.05
I need that
00:45:53.05\00:45:54.68
maybe add a go first and
then I'll make my financial
00:45:54.68\00:45:58.19
decision. How do they do?
They just contact you at your
00:45:58.19\00:46:02.52
e-mail. Yes. Okay. So that
is Steve in is T Eve. We and
00:46:02.52\00:46:09.33
Stephen Conway at stamina
for life dot com. And that's
00:46:09.33\00:46:16.17
something that's really I think
that's going to happen. You're
00:46:16.17\00:46:20.94
going to have people who say
I want to come see what you're
00:46:20.94\00:46:23.18
doing because I needed.
00:46:23.18\00:46:24.75
>> They they all supported
this. Well, I'll tell you,
00:46:24.75\00:46:27.68
it's I've told my wife this
and I shared it with a couple of
00:46:27.68\00:46:31.32
friends. I talked about shame
and how I was. Oh, my goodness.
00:46:31.32\00:46:35.36
Yeah. Just the thought of,
00:46:35.36\00:46:38.83
you know, don't do it. Why
would you do something like
00:46:38.83\00:46:41.30
that? Why would anybody
00:46:41.30\00:46:43.60
just being literally attacked?
Yeah, I'm my own thoughts.
00:46:43.60\00:46:48.40
And I think the enemy's
suggestions as well not to do
00:46:48.40\00:46:52.37
it. But we we we really and
truly believe and what we're
00:46:52.37\00:46:57.88
doing. It is our greatest joy
to see people walking and h***
00:46:57.88\00:47:04.49
to see people experiencing
healthy relationships, to see
00:47:04.49\00:47:08.99
people healing from
wounds and scars that,
00:47:08.99\00:47:12.86
you know, they've literally
been counting around for their
00:47:12.86\00:47:15.43
entire laws. And so, yeah,
00:47:15.43\00:47:18.30
it has been I'm telling you,
I'm here and it's a miracle.
00:47:18.30\00:47:22.90
I do not want to
ask anybody for anything
00:47:22.90\00:47:26.24
because I'm fearful that I
won't get it and nobody would
00:47:26.24\00:47:28.78
give me anything. And it's
like you look so silly. You're
00:47:28.78\00:47:32.55
trying to do this. And nobody
really. And I'm just like,
00:47:32.55\00:47:35.38
oh, I'd rather not him.
But it's how strongly we feel
00:47:35.38\00:47:39.89
about, you know, what it
is that we we sense the Lord
00:47:39.89\00:47:43.32
calling us to do.
00:47:43.32\00:47:44.43
>> Where you certainly do
walk hand-in-hand together. You
00:47:44.43\00:47:48.73
complement each other. You
finished finished each other's
00:47:48.73\00:47:51.93
sentences, even you know.
So you can say the 22 years
00:47:51.93\00:47:55.57
here, but is such good stuff
is practical stuff for you now.
00:47:55.57\00:48:01.58
And I'm sure that
00:48:01.58\00:48:04.21
the bag is full of this good
stuff. That's just that's just
00:48:04.21\00:48:08.25
been a lot of
time putting together.
00:48:08.25\00:48:10.19
>> Well, you know, you did
13 programs on not a day. That
00:48:10.19\00:48:14.12
Conway's had a program on
3ABN called when we talk. Well,
00:48:14.12\00:48:21.80
you can't believe how important
talking. Yes, but when we talk,
00:48:21.80\00:48:25.97
it airs at 06:30AM, Boyett
said good way. Monday morning to
00:48:25.97\00:48:31.81
start your day off 06:30AM,
Tuesday at 11:30AM. So before
00:48:31.81\00:48:39.31
your lunch hour, 4
winds stay at 06:00PM. And
00:48:39.31\00:48:45.42
this is
00:48:45.42\00:48:47.39
such an incredible program.
We had somebody who called who
00:48:47.39\00:48:50.26
said
00:48:50.26\00:48:51.89
I've been trying to get by
might not my husband, my son
00:48:51.89\00:48:55.70
into marriage counseling
for such a long time. And I told
00:48:55.70\00:48:59.53
him about this program, but
he won't watching the Christian
00:48:59.53\00:49:01.94
programs. He came to my
house one when Steve that and he
00:49:01.94\00:49:05.41
watched it with her and now
he's watched them all. You can
00:49:05.41\00:49:09.51
go to 3 A B M plus. Now also on
your phone or your iPad or your
00:49:09.51\00:49:15.68
computer at 3, a B plus that
TV, you can see all of I mean,
00:49:15.68\00:49:23.66
we've got a lot. All of our
programs are in there. But you
00:49:23.66\00:49:26.73
can see all of these past
episode is called. When we
00:49:26.73\00:49:31.10
talk.
00:49:31.10\00:49:33.70
We've talked about
00:49:33.70\00:49:37.11
for change.
00:49:37.11\00:49:39.77
What's the first step?
00:49:39.77\00:49:44.18
I mean, we want to take
away for people in the program
00:49:44.18\00:49:47.35
tonight despite preach
a changes. So what we have
00:49:47.35\00:49:52.65
changes coming
on us every day. But
00:49:52.65\00:49:55.69
change is something that we so
desperately need in communities
00:49:55.69\00:50:02.26
in cities. We're seeing how
polarize people are becoming
00:50:02.26\00:50:08.07
polarized. It not just in
Mary twos but polarized in
00:50:08.07\00:50:14.58
their politics are polarizing
people. That was the day.
00:50:14.58\00:50:17.75
I have always kept rate
00:50:17.75\00:50:20.75
political discussions.
00:50:20.75\00:50:22.72
>> Really won't know
about football related.
00:50:22.72\00:50:26.52
>> Nobody got
upset was ready to it.
00:50:26.52\00:50:29.52
Catch you out. There really is.
There's so many tap of topics.
00:50:29.52\00:50:33.60
But
00:50:33.60\00:50:34.46
among parents
00:50:34.46\00:50:37.07
and children
00:50:37.07\00:50:38.70
has Prince in wife's
00:50:38.70\00:50:41.00
bosses and employees
00:50:41.00\00:50:44.07
talk about just some
steps to fight for change.
00:50:44.07\00:50:49.31
>> Yeah. I think when things
change is inevitable, yeah,
00:50:49.31\00:50:54.12
it's going to happen.
00:50:54.12\00:50:55.82
Unfortunately,
00:50:55.82\00:50:58.12
the changes that we experience
on not necessarily the ones we
00:50:58.12\00:51:01.36
want, right.
00:51:01.36\00:51:03.16
And so it's not as though we're
complete foreigners to change.
00:51:03.16\00:51:07.86
We do experience change.
It's just about in the areas
00:51:07.86\00:51:11.60
that we want to experience
it. And so that intentionality,
00:51:11.60\00:51:15.74
how how can we
be more intentional?
00:51:15.74\00:51:19.57
>> I think that it's important
again to begin as early as
00:51:19.57\00:51:23.28
possible, having the
discussions about change.
00:51:23.28\00:51:26.65
It's never too late to sit
down with your your children is
00:51:26.65\00:51:29.95
never too late to sit down
with your grown children, right?
00:51:29.95\00:51:33.22
You and your mother have yeah
gone through. And even if you
00:51:33.22\00:51:36.73
no longer have your parents
around and you experience
00:51:36.73\00:51:39.96
changing, you wish you would
have had those conversations
00:51:39.96\00:51:42.60
take advantage of creating
a community. He is. I hear so
00:51:42.60\00:51:45.87
many people say we're at my
church or at my my job. Nobody
00:51:45.87\00:51:49.27
will you be the one you be
the one to start the change you
00:51:49.27\00:51:52.81
start by being transparent.
You start by being open and
00:51:52.81\00:51:55.68
honest. And I Garrett who
uses transparency and honesty.
00:51:55.68\00:51:59.71
It's a track. If it is people
want it. If you will find your
00:51:59.71\00:52:04.12
group in your circle, start
rolling and then once you start
00:52:04.12\00:52:07.32
doing that.
00:52:07.32\00:52:08.59
>> We think transparency
is attractive if somebodys not
00:52:08.59\00:52:12.86
whining. And haha. Yeah.
I mean, I do. Yeah, that's
00:52:12.86\00:52:18.37
yeah. Really being yeah.
Very trained transfer out
00:52:18.37\00:52:22.54
there. But it's it's like
00:52:22.54\00:52:26.27
it's OK, came in. I I like it
when somebody comes up and says
00:52:26.27\00:52:32.01
I need help. This is what's
going on. Yes, and you want to
00:52:32.01\00:52:35.68
get in.
00:52:35.68\00:52:37.15
>> But when Somebodys whining
doing the poor pitiful Pearl as
00:52:37.15\00:52:40.26
well.
00:52:40.26\00:52:42.02
Yeah. It's kind of like.
00:52:42.02\00:52:44.36
>> It's it's not engaging if
that point. Yeah. So we need to
00:52:44.36\00:52:49.33
learn even how to
share with people. Yeah.
00:52:49.33\00:52:53.40
>> Would you agree? I would
agree. I think it's important
00:52:53.40\00:52:55.84
to learn how to share. And I
think we'll find oftentimes is
00:52:55.84\00:52:59.01
that again, even those people
need tools, right? And they
00:52:59.01\00:53:02.58
need people to be honest
with them about that. You know,
00:53:02.58\00:53:05.81
all too often we want we
just let him keep going on. You
00:53:05.81\00:53:09.25
know, day after week, month
after year, and I was like,
00:53:09.25\00:53:12.35
OK, you know, let's have an
honest conversation about how
00:53:12.35\00:53:16.29
we need to move
towards recovery.
00:53:16.29\00:53:18.16
>> You know this mean this.
This is this is worth nothing.
00:53:18.16\00:53:22.26
When I'm getting ready to say
what they're on the other hand,
00:53:22.26\00:53:26.63
he's pretty big
stuff. My grandparents
00:53:26.63\00:53:32.04
came to Central Texas in
a covered wagon. Yeah, our
00:53:32.04\00:53:35.28
grandparents. Yes. Not a 1000
years ago, my grandparents are
00:53:35.28\00:53:40.38
covered wagon fighting
for every mile. Yeah, it is.
00:53:40.38\00:53:44.52
And here we are
today on the moon Mir. Ali
00:53:44.52\00:53:49.62
change is very important to me
00:53:49.62\00:53:53.19
and we can either sit back
and be who we were or are we can
00:53:53.19\00:53:58.40
take care of business and keep
up with the times and actually
00:53:58.40\00:54:03.74
issue some legitimate change
so that people can be productive
00:54:03.74\00:54:08.61
national not worth anything.
Your bud's good story to tell
00:54:08.61\00:54:13.62
my grandparents who have
covered wagon. Talk about
00:54:13.62\00:54:17.62
change. Talk about some of
his exactly right. You know,
00:54:17.62\00:54:21.79
so I mean, start with your
children's. Yeah. Today's a
00:54:21.79\00:54:24.53
good day. Yeah. I would also say
00:54:24.53\00:54:28.16
>> start with
ourselves because, again,
00:54:28.16\00:54:32.07
put your mask on first because
a lot of the change that we met
00:54:32.07\00:54:35.77
was that we're talking
about a year on the oxygen mask.
00:54:35.77\00:54:40.01
Yeah. You can't risk. It has
a lot of the change that we want
00:54:40.01\00:54:42.81
to see is and other people.
Yeah. Temperatures only if if
00:54:42.81\00:54:47.72
my life would be better if
you would. Yeah, change and do
00:54:47.72\00:54:50.95
this. I always tell people.
00:54:50.95\00:54:52.62
>> If you want to change its
got to begin Weeki, you write
00:54:52.62\00:54:55.76
in April, you don't make
change. We're going to be
00:54:55.76\00:54:57.59
having this same
conversation 5 years from now.
00:54:57.59\00:54:59.83
>> Yeah, there's absolutely
absolutely so start start and
00:54:59.83\00:55:04.63
really and truly
with God's grace and help.
00:55:04.63\00:55:09.04
You know, this is the only place
00:55:09.04\00:55:11.51
that we can we can control
my right is ourselves. You know,
00:55:11.51\00:55:15.81
unfortunately, you know, I'll
throw myself and that was all
00:55:15.81\00:55:19.35
the way and the but I focused
on her meeting. It's a nano.
00:55:19.35\00:55:23.12
He would only do this. And
if soon only do that, and, you
00:55:23.12\00:55:27.76
know, I realize that, no,
that's that's not how it works.
00:55:27.76\00:55:31.86
You can do that all day.
And you'll be doing that all
00:55:31.86\00:55:34.46
year and for the next decade
and so forth and so on. But the
00:55:34.46\00:55:38.13
real change needs to start
right here by Lord. Help me.
00:55:38.13\00:55:43.10
>> Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
00:55:43.10\00:55:46.31
We'll show we've got a minute
and 20 seconds I wear to dinner
00:55:46.31\00:55:49.81
time. Haha, I just want to
thank you so much to both of
00:55:49.81\00:55:54.58
you. I love you dearly. You
guys are. So we think on it if
00:55:54.58\00:56:01.02
we ever get to come to your
place, we're not a good nice
00:56:01.02\00:56:05.06
Lake Tahoe and 2. So my shoe
and traveling here, it's not
00:56:05.06\00:56:11.70
the easiest place to get to
pick Jonah, getting custom to
00:56:11.70\00:56:15.14
this value thing here or not,
we consider you part of that
00:56:15.14\00:56:18.27
screen would be like
honey, it's always good to have,
00:56:18.27\00:56:22.04
Hugh.
00:56:22.04\00:56:23.51
>> So I just you
know what they have.
00:56:23.51\00:56:26.48
>> He thinks that sink the Lord
while he may be found call upon
00:56:26.48\00:56:30.89
him while he is not.
00:56:30.89\00:56:32.22
>> Here a man is now and that
is how we want to thank you for
00:56:32.22\00:56:37.36
joining us tonight. Remember,
he's got to fight for change,
00:56:37.36\00:56:41.83
but God is there. He says that
we're Duke creations in Christ.
00:56:41.83\00:56:46.57
Jesus, he's changed. Distilled
is gone. The news Cup, you just
00:56:46.57\00:56:50.81
gotta trust that our prayer
for you is that the grace of our
00:56:50.81\00:56:54.94
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
the law, but the father and the
00:56:54.94\00:56:58.55
fellowship of the Holy Spirit.
We'll be with you all ways.
00:56:58.55\00:57:04.25
Last year
00:57:04.25\00:57:05.75
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