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Series Code: TDYL
Program Code: TDYL230005B
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00:11 >> Welcome back to 3 even today live from Jill Meagher County. We've had an
00:14 incredible first hour with the ladies here from 3ABN as we talk about the face of love, 00:21 we're talking specifically about the 5 love languages, how we incorporate that in our 00:25 relationships, whether it's a spouse or a child or co-worker or even in the church. How God 00:32 expresses his love to us and how we can show our love to got. So we have tonight the 00:39 Hildebrandt and Cain Francine Bergman and Angela van der Valk engine. No one is just a 00:46 privilege to share with each one of you. Love you all as my sisters. And so blessed not 00:51 only to work together in ministry, but just to know we're sisters that we can away 00:56 with each other and we share with each other. So thank you. And we love you at home to 01:01 thank you for being part of the 3ABN, family had this is a live program. You can text us 01:05 or e-mail us your questions or prayer requests. You can. Texas is 6, 1, 8, 2, 2, 8, 3, 01:14 9, 7, 5, at 6, 1, 8, 2, 2, 8, 3, 9, 7, 5, When you tax led us where you came from. We 01:22 love and e-mail us at Life. L I V E at 3ABN DOT TV. That's l I V E at 3ABN Dot TV. This can 01:30 be prayer requests. This can be questions for the ladies here tonight. In fact, we have 01:34 a question from the first hour. We're going to start with this. This from Shirley 01:39 in Wyoming. My daughter has recently decided to move. And in this she is not let me know 01:44 where she's moving. Is there a time of testing to her that she's doing this to me? Her 01:50 mother should I just say going don't get upset if it doesn't work out, she's taking her. 25 01:56 year-old son with her that while living with me never worked or made its way so he 02:00 could live here. I feel very So it sounds like there's difficulty fracturing in the 02:06 relationship there and her family. And she feels used. How would you recommend she 02:12 handle this with her daughter and grandson looks and son. praying. I to me just say, 02:19 hey. You can't change what they want to do early, you know, don't want to do that. 02:27 But >> just keep reassuring that you will always be there for 02:30 them when their and pray. And and that prayer, of course. But yeah, I just letting them 02:36 know because I've seen that happen in where there's a faction family point. 02:41 Something's happening. And there's a reason for that. But if you just reassure them that 02:46 you will always be that's good because you do have to give them over to the law or have 02:51 continue praying for them. But you cannot force someone to treat you right? Are to love 03:00 So all you can do is love them in an appropriate way. So let them know that you still love 03:06 them. I'm still here. and >> maybe after some time, right time given the things. 03:15 >> And hopefully they'll be able to see it. You know, that change, but maybe maybe one 03:20 person might be gone and maybe they'll change after to get any other help them. No, okay. 03:29 >> Well, we will pray for you. Surely here when we get some more pretty close make sure we 03:32 pray special for you in that difficult situation. But that some very good advice, ladies, 03:38 we talked in the first hour about quality time in acts of service were transition now to 03:43 do And we're going to talk about physical touch. So this is one of the 5 love 03:48 languages. Talk to us about that. Sure. Well, as few of the other ladies mentions. 03:54 This is actually one of my top languages. And I just want to say, I appreciate 04:00 >> that the man these said Gary Chapman, that did I believe that was ordained by 04:05 God because I mean, think about how much we miss communicate things to people 04:11 and I just think that it's it's awesome that we can. We have a way to to show love. 04:17 And if we know someone's love language, we can give that to them. And so for of course, 04:23 just want to reiterate again that I'll be talking about appropriate touch and not 04:27 inappropriate which of course we know classified as abuse or things like that. But I'm 04:33 talking about appropriate touch. And so and as far as like the personal side of for 04:42 me touch makes me feel valued. Noticed appreciated and loved. And I love hugs. I'm I have a 04:51 couple of friends that give really big bear hugs. And I just love that my sister does 04:54 too. And sometimes she she hugs me and says it's like, OK, I can't breathe. I I love 05:01 the bear. Hugs. >> sometimes I just had my husband because I love hugs. 05:06 And love when he hugged me from behind. And and you know, that kind of stuff and just 05:10 the affection and so I think it's really interesting the way that we all have our love 05:19 language and I'm not sure exactly where mine comes from. As far as the affection and 05:24 the touch. I do know and I remember that as when we when we come home at the end of 05:31 long day or something like that, we would read each other's feet, you know, and 05:37 things like that. And it's funny because when my husband first met my family, I have a 05:42 really big family. And when he first met my family, we all hugged each other. We first 05:46 see each other and then we leave and he was not used to out of his comfort zone. But 05:53 now he loves it and he's used to it. And so so that's kind of, you know, some personal 05:58 things. And so. Also on the on the topic of touch how toward me and how God touches me in 06:11 different ways. In a house story about something that happened a few years ago, 06:13 that. It I don't even remember what happened to to cause this. But I woke up with the 06:21 feeling that there was a strong male presence around like, like large hands around, 06:28 like protective hand. And I knew it was God because it was very secure and protective. 06:33 And it was just like a fairy. Very good feeling. Just feeling very safe from sleep. 06:42 Yeah. I woke up from sleep with this. Just this feeling of big hands around me. And it 06:48 was like it was a good feeling. And it was just such a a precious moment that I 06:52 never experienced before. But it was something I knew that was from God. And he was 06:57 giving me a message. And so another way to shows me affection and touches through 07:05 hugs from other people. As I mention and also from animals talked about animals and I 07:11 love to have my hold their nose, you know, and that kind of stuff. And animals can be 07:19 so affectionate. And I love that. And so and also touch of me towards kind is I think, 07:28 being sensitive to someone that needs a shoulder to cry on or just a hug of course, 07:34 I'm cautious with hugs with men because of obvious reasons. I want them to get 07:38 the wrong idea. But I think there's a way to still be compassionate and caring maybe 07:46 not as touchy as I would be with a woman like, you know, right hand on the shoulder and 07:50 that kind of stuff. But but I think it's important to be sensitive to people that to 07:58 the listening ear like we talked about, too. But I'm just being there for a person. 08:02 And I think that's ways that I can do that towards God. And so another another in this 08:11 area physical touches. There's so many stories in the Bible and theirs. There was a lot to 08:17 try to narrow down for me. And I know the the most obvious one that came to my mind was 08:25 from Matthew 9.20. And I wonder if we can read that the story of the woman to have an 08:31 issue of it was. Yeah. And we actually just yeah. We talked about Bible study last night. 08:37 Yeah, we've it yet. We had a servant about. >> Yeah. Haha nurse in the 08:42 different gospels, there's different accounts of this. Tory and this was Matthew 08:49 9.20, through. TWENTY-TWO and behold, a woman which was diseased with an issue of 08:54 blood. 12 years came behind behind him. That's Jesus and touch the hem of his garment 09:01 for she said within yourself, if I may be touch, his garment, I shall be whole. But 09:07 Jesus turned around about. And when he saw her, he said daughter be of good comfort by 09:10 faith, have maybe hole. And the woman was made whole from that hour. Yeah. I love the 09:17 fact that she just touch his. The edge of his karma. Like she didn't even touch his 09:22 body. >> She just a touch, something that he was wearing like. 09:26 That's he's the ultimate healer. And to be able to just touch that little piece of 09:31 Jesus and says that. He said her faith made her whole just and wasn't the garment. It was 09:40 because her faith in Jesus. And it's just it's amazing how just that one little bit of 09:47 touch. And in one of the other gospels that talks about how Jesus asked the question, who 09:54 touched he knew a lot of people. Yeah, there's there's so many people. But of course, 10:00 teases new the he asked the question, I think maybe to prompt her. But it's just a 10:05 love. That story in then another window just mentioned is from Genesis to the 10:10 creation of man and how God formed man of the and 3 didn't his nostrils. Yeah. I was 10:19 thinking about the intimacy of God in me and and how God just use his hands and formed the 10:25 clay and just that intimacy there and that the touch there and then on the opposite side 10:31 would be people that had leprosy in the Bible and nobody wanted to touch them 10:38 and just think about, you know, and I think we kind of had a small glimpse of this 10:41 with COVID because like when we had COVID, call a folk kind of like lepers because like 10:48 nobody when I mean at first, especially because we didn't know we're dealing COVID with 10:51 such a mystery. And so it was kind of like that. I think at first and I think that without 10:59 human touch, we forget that we're human. It's just you know, it's like with the 11:07 lepers. I'm sure that that was very traumatic. Yes. And so kind of along with that. I 11:13 think that, you know, there I don't remember exactly where this is. This is found, but it 11:17 talks about the love of money growing cold and so I look at that the lack of human 11:24 interaction now less and less human interaction as far as like technology, shopping 11:30 experiences, things like that. Self check-in and Airbnb you know, that kind of stuff. It's 11:34 so like lacking the human interaction. And there was just a couple of things I want 11:39 to read from the article that I It's really interesting from wet and dot com. It's called 11:48 Touch starvation to it talks about how touch is a condition that happens when you don't 11:55 get as much physical touch as you're used to or any at all. You crave contact that can 12:00 interact with others. For some reason, it's also known as touch deprivation or skin 12:05 hunger and people developed touch starvation because of social distancing during 12:10 COVID. It can happen with any lack of physical touch such as children in orphanages, 12:14 elderly people and hospitals and just people that don't get enough positive physical 12:19 contact and then also talks about why touch is important. It's how we interact with each 12:25 other. We shake shaking hands. Used to be a way of feeling a deal and that kind of thing 12:33 and we have our loved ones. We high 5 people we know and that kind of thing. And I thought 12:39 this was really interesting to says that skin is the largest organ in your body and sends 12:42 good and bad sensations to your brain. When you engage in pleasant touch, like a hug, 12:48 your brain releases a hormone called oxytocin. This makes you feel good and firms up 12:53 emotional and social bonds without while lowering anxiety and fear. And something we saw 12:58 a lot with COVID was anxiety, fear depression. Yes, even talks about it birth and how 13:06 babies. You know, you guys probably heard the stories before, but that babies, you 13:08 know, when they first the the doctors suggest some others hold them to bond with them 13:17 and it actually helps their their sleep, their digestion bills immune system, fight 13:22 infections and you know that it's such an important thing to have touch. And it says if 13:31 you don't get enough physical touch, you become stressed. Anxious, depressed as response 13:36 to stress your body makes a hormone called cortisol. This can make your heart blood 13:41 pressure and muscle tension and breathing rate go up and also has bad effects on our 13:47 immune system and digestive system. I mean, all of these different things can be caused 13:51 from lack of touch. And so it it also affects our medical conditions like diabetes, 13:59 asthma, high blood pressure and things like that can actually be worse. And can 14:04 even this is it can even trigger PTSD people. And also talks about ways we can fights 14:12 touch starvation things that we can do like a video chat which is not touch, that we 14:19 can have that human interaction and you can do exercises in a social setting 14:24 and that kind of stuff and seeing which we, you know, seeing in church and that kind 14:31 of stuff. And I'm sitting with other people. one of my favorites was like I mentioned 14:36 earlier is interacting with your pets my husband and I we we have little things that we 14:44 do for each other and but I I enjoy cuddling with him on the couch with their cats. And 14:50 it's just it's just special. I think it's it's important to have that because and like I 14:58 mentioned the beginning, it is it. It helps a person feel valued and noticed. And it's 15:06 I'm really thankful for the gift of touch and God gave us these ways that we can reach 15:11 out to other people. And I'm just thankful that, you know, we can actually. you know, 15:18 because if we couldn't do that, just imagine right. so it's just a blessing to be 15:23 able to touch and to be touched. >> thank so much. In great job 15:30 on line to pick with Yeah, that's powerful. I was thinking you reference the 15:33 lepers and it's interesting because I was thinking Matthew 8, remember when Jesus healed 15:37 collector and witnesses say he reached out and touched is going to heal them with the 15:43 word in the letter was clearly untouchable as in one of those outcasts from society that 15:48 would have felt that touch deprivation, that isolation. And yet Jesus touch So. We 15:55 touch the untouchable people who are and yeah, how do we do that? And I it's not like 15:59 people have leprosy was some people do. But I by and large, we're not going to come in 16:05 contact. Probably someone with leprosy, but yet there might be some people that may be 16:09 from both the wrong way. Maybe we're >> You know, you prickly or 16:14 maybe their prickly and you don't want to even reach out and say, hey, how you doing? 16:17 Because their prickly. So how do we do that? How do we reach out? 16:22 >> For the Untouchables mind there are other love Maybe isn't it? Maybe, you know, act 16:28 sort of action acts of service or, you know, just talking to them, cooking them something 16:34 or yes, showing love to them. And once they feel loved by you, they may allow. Yeah. 16:41 Once you went you. >> Once they learn to trust you in your feed, their pain 16:48 is And then maybe they will allow. Yeah, some of yeah. Even it's the elbow boys just 16:58 yeah. >> I like that. My husband always. Gave all the windows 17:02 in the church. Hugs all. I was a big guy. He's a big guy. come up to him and just fight 17:14 just Later on after hours what I was like. Thank you, David Frum. 17:19 >> Pain far some hugs for me because >> you do. I understand touch. 17:25 Yeah. For a shun it that David, I always held hands. So there was always a touchy 17:30 time. We're it. Our second loveline ridges. Both of us was touch. And so we were 17:35 always touching, holding hands. So that is that is something that pets animals. 17:41 Good substitute. That also just what about getting if you're a single person? What 17:47 about getting some children in your life? Just maybe 2 help out a single mothers, 17:51 something and then you can hug a her hand. >> And you can talk to them. 17:59 Children love to have attention paid to them. So if you 18:04 >> are are lacking in your life right now with touch. >> Think about helping the 18:09 children that are in the church in your neighborhood. You have to be careful, of 18:13 course, to be appropriate and you have to gain the parents truck today after an animal 18:19 touches every special. if you can. I like that. This question actually pertains to 18:24 touch. So we're going to go to this now. And this is a sensitive question. If you 18:28 have. >> Children, young children in the home right now, maybe get 18:32 them involved in something else. Just while we have this one discussion. This is from 18:37 they just gave their initials. My husband prefers the Internet over me. I'm married 18:44 almost 4 years. He has not touched me in 3 years. He says I am at normal to need 18:49 intimacy. I am. What would you say to this one? That's why. >> I would tell her that her 19:01 value is so much more these women that he may be viewing not to compare yourself with 19:13 anyone else. And because God loves and tear special to him. Even though it hurts. And 19:19 there's comparison. It's it's difficult. But your special to guide us. That's beautiful. 19:33 Anyone pray for your husband. You sometimes men do reasons they don't even know why 19:38 they're doing it. Maybe something happened in their life. 19:41 >> That's causing them to do that. And pray for go to council. And if you both want 19:47 to stay in the match and can work it pray for your has been. Yeah, you know, talk 19:54 find out what his Loveland is. Find out what you can do to be a better wife. Pray for God to 20:00 help me to be a better wife. Pray for your husband and just know God loves you. You feed 20:09 and use the word of God. I have been through that. I'm telling you, my cousin. She 20:14 would tell me girl to street songs. Just just do respond your your feel so out. I would 20:18 go. I'll go cry. >> And but it got got me through it have a beautiful 20:25 marriage now, but don't give up. Payton wants parents just to, you know, just forget it 20:31 just help but no fight for you pray for your husband. You know, I also want to add to 20:37 that pornography is also referred to as false And so someone that goes after false 20:47 intimacy needs. >> Needs to find out why they have that need. There's 20:51 something that's lacking and it's. It's an issue that. Like you're saying, pray for your 21:00 husband because he has a need for intimacy that is being fulfilled that he doesn't that 21:06 there's there's a need there in. God can feel that. That intimacy. 21:14 >> But her, your strength and your love will come from. Seen Scott sees you. You are 21:21 beloved right. Daughter of the law your beautiful. Still your strength to be able to do all 21:26 these things that they're saying that you can do is it's got to be anchored in the 21:32 Lord. that's where your beauty and your being loved will come from U.S.. Firms only married 21:39 4 years or you that about one to happen to me. Yeah. spray and find a Christian 21:46 counselor. Yeah. Find a >> Yeah. >> This is one more question 21:50 and then we'll switch to another love language. This one says this was a sensitive 21:56 topic to up in this one says I love my children. This is from Judy in Oregon. But I feel so 22:01 guilty about the abuse they had to deal with from the father growing up. How do I 22:06 stop feeling guilty about this? Can God forgive? Then she says they are adults now 22:13 and doing great. So her made it through that difficult time and are doing well. But she 22:17 feels guilt over. What they experienced as a child at the hands of their Anything you 22:22 would give her. the past. Just move forward. Give it to the Give it to the floor. 22:33 >> God has already. If you've asked God for forgiveness by Angie is already giving 22:37 forgiveness, but you have to accept it and then move forward and and and take joy 22:44 and that God help them to overcome that and that they have these beautiful lives. 22:49 Yeah, got does not want you beating yourself up. That's not all. What a daughter of 22:55 God needs to do. Again. Look at yourself to God ties. He has already forgiven. You. 23:03 That's right. Except that from him. And the children well. >> They're from and that's not 23:09 from guide. Sorry. Yes, not from God kill that, you know, that's not from I say and 23:16 resist say and he will flee from you. And let me tell you took me a long time to realize 23:18 that when I finally. >> God showed it to me. I stepped in it continue to. 23:25 Take those thoughts out of my head and I said, no, not today say and not today. And let me 23:33 tell you, those thought to leave and they forward, you know, if her children are 23:37 grown in and they're doing well. Yeah, yeah. means you must have done Not respond you 23:44 for your husband's Andy. >> It's not something you probably could have stopped 23:50 that you had to have done something right or your children wouldn't be with. 23:55 dealing with guilt. yeah. Guilt is not. >> As an add to that, I think 24:01 that even though the children who are doing fine, sometimes things are buried under the 24:06 surface that maybe they seem find it. Good counsel, Christian counselor can help 24:11 with the things that have happened because it's so easy to bury things and look like 24:15 we're good on the surface. And so maybe even counseling all together as a family, just to 24:22 process what happened have dinner with them and talk to them and let them know how you 24:26 feel. I feel bad because this your father, you know, how are you doing? 24:30 >> Are you over it to we need to, you know, see counseling. Is there anything I can do to 24:35 help you? You know, let them know that you care. Good. EB Salute Lee. 24:41 >> We have many prayer requests coming in and we'll beat them at the end pray over 24:44 them all together. Can't thank you for sending in your prayer requests and you're important 24:48 to us. You are part of the 3ABN, family and we love you and you can send in more and 24:54 will pray for them at the end of 618-228-3975. You can text us at 618-228-3975, or you can 25:06 email us Live L I V E at 3ABN DOT TV and we would love to pray over your prayer needs or 25:13 answer any questions we can at 10 take in the remaining time. We have 2 faces of Love, love 25:21 languages. Francine, we're coming to you, OK? And you have get cy-hawk. Do you have? 25:27 >> This was a little interesting and I'll start with real quick with my 25:32 grandfather would always go to different countries and bring back a little doll and now and 25:36 he would bring back a doll for myself and for my assistant now, both of us had a 25:42 different reaction. And, you know, sometimes we get one of them. One of us might be 25:46 really into the gift like all this is so precious. And I have to be honest, I kept I 25:52 still have my dolls. Not that that's my strongest which but I still have, you know, those 25:59 And, you know, my sister would be more interested in like we did. You get like, where's the 26:04 story behind it? And so again, that's talking about the love languages. And so icon for the 26:10 stop giving both of us the saying get you know what I'm saying. So even though you 26:15 love language is not necessarily the gift, but maybe it's the process of the 26:18 time that you took for it. You know, sometimes when we're talking about gifts, it 26:22 doesn't mean just necessarily the physical, you element of it. But it's also the other 26:31 different languages that it took to get those gifts or 2. We see those gifts now I have 26:36 we have some of us blast by I had to share this. But we yeah, young lady say the spill 26:45 she gets all these little, she this one has to be forgot about that one. And she just 26:52 gives us a little things of calendar. Sometimes a little book markers. And there's 26:57 always a calling patients that I can color with my daughter but these are just a little 27:04 gifts like it's not really. She's so good at the but has us that she loves or that 27:10 cares about us. And, you know, sometimes and there's certain people that they seem like 27:16 they don't want to hug. >> You know, and even when you start having them, but then 27:22 they're the ones that really need because maybe something in their life has changed and 27:28 they don't have that problem. >> And, you know, I of course, my favorite person is Jesus. 27:33 But how Jesus was always worried about they that hatch, of course. But also he was 27:42 giving gifts. Now he would often give it food or whatever. And we see that he 27:49 would. Of course, we know that he gave his life for us. We know that he, you know, did a 27:52 lot of things. But remember, it was the physical need to. And that was the feeding of 27:58 the 4th out of 4,005 1000 and not Luke. And then we see those things. That guy was 28:07 worried about. I need you. And he was always willing to give. But favorite story that I feel 28:14 like encompasses all the 5 languages. It's really win. The children. One the parents 28:24 brought their children and you know that reminds me, you know, this is again, how Jesus 28:34 wanted. 2 blasts these children now the parents selfish in wanting a gift from 28:44 God. And he with the disciples doing first. And they they said no, but I can. It was 28:54 interesting because Jesus rebuked the disciples. Yes. And ferrying affirming that 29:01 let the little children come to me affirming that And then what was he doing? I mean, 29:06 let's talk about it. You physically bringing the kids on your lap. we're talking 29:13 about the physical touch. okay. What talking about the quality time. Each child 29:20 blessing each And of course, the active service in my book is actually doing what the 29:29 parents were requesting, you know, just saying, can you imagine that? You know, these 29:32 parents wanted. Favor for their children, not for themselves, but for their And 29:40 then, of course, you know, we all have these different gifts, but I like that story 29:46 in that when we think about Jesus, he was example of demonstrating each of these 29:54 different 5 love languages. Yes, absolutely. And they say even though we think that 29:58 babies. Need that touch and we know about orphans and we've heard the stories, you know, 30:06 the ones that didn't have the physical touch, but it's really all those 5 elements 30:11 and that we don't know how much that develops that child, but the ones that have been 30:18 held early on as a child, other ones that grow up to be adults that feel successful 30:26 are, you know, feel like they have something to contribute. They're not the ones that I 30:33 always struggling so much. There's tell for sure they know their direction. No 30:36 goals, goal oriented. I should say. Again, you know, just thinking about the children 30:45 and when you don't know, for example, children are hard to read. You know, especially if 30:49 they're younger than 2 and whatnot. Yeah. But if you attach these different love 30:54 languages and even whoever in your family even, you know, just because you know, your 31:01 husband is year or, you know, it's affirmation, for example. Do you give up on the other 31:09 no, you know. And so I seeing that Jesus was. Was able to do all of often. And as a 31:21 teacher, I mean, I remember love languages for children. Trying to do that in a 31:29 classroom of I don't know. 25, you what, you've got to do those things. And sometimes it 31:33 was motion that, you know, but it was all those things and you couldn't do it to one more 31:38 than the other. Like even the affirmation, you know, you had to make sure that you're 31:42 taking a turn. And I think that's an example that we can see what Jesus saw and other 31:49 people. And so don't think that just because we're talking about a particular 31:52 love language and this is your U.S.. I think the focus needs to be wholeheartedly. And I 31:58 have to be honest with you. And I had to research this because they were asking me 32:02 what is my love language. And I was like, well, I think it's changed and I looked it up and 32:07 can it change? Yes, it can. You love language can actually change. And I see that because 32:11 him and that she loves gifts, Utah. She is. So my thank you. My daughter loves these gifts. 32:19 And so, you know, she wants to know what this is. And sometimes it's a little 32:24 raccoon I cameras something, you know, whatever it is, you know, and you realize that you 32:29 kind of. >> More from little more into that, I think what I'm saying 32:34 because of the people that you're around with you more to have, know, anyway, just food 32:40 for >> Where you love you that. Thank you so much. That's 32:43 beautiful. What I love is the story of Jesus in the children need to and how that 32:50 incorporates all. That's D really good because yeah, we all respond to all of the love 32:57 like apps We measure primary frying. We usually have a Yeah. All of them affect us. 33:05 You know, what's interesting is supposedly a steady happened. I think it was 2022. 33:11 >> And gift is one of the ones that was mentioned, the that they say people. 33:15 >> That they love language. And I thought really, you know, you part of me was like, 33:22 oh, OK, but but again, it's all those other attributes that, you know, might be in 33:27 the gift. So we still give all like receiving and giving gives might. But it's more the 33:34 other elements that come into that play. Well, that's true because you can give our 33:36 remember when I was a little kid, we didn't have money we want to get her mom and dad a 33:42 gift and we didn't know how to do it in ISIS turn. I didn't have any money to contribute. 33:46 >> So I remember that we wrote down. I can just barely write. I would probably 5, 6, And I 33:51 remember I wrote Down, Wash the car. right. Axis are cook food, even though I could 34:01 hardly and give shoulder rubs. So and I was just my mom and dad. And this was my gift for 34:08 Christmas. And it was all it was a gift, but it encompasses quality time. this service and 34:13 encompass physical touch words of affirmation. So, you know, it doesn't compass. That's 34:19 really like them. Friends, you know, the full on. We know it. What gifts to give other 34:24 people. You ever face. That is a woman. Oh, I don't even know it by them. I want to give 34:32 even know what gift to give someone I've actually paid about it. And it's interesting 34:36 when somebody says, how did you know? And I'm like I It really wasn't always scared. I 34:43 had to be honest because you get to those moments where we honestly don't know. We don't, 34:49 but you might be intuitive. You might start seeing things and then somehow. 34:54 >> I seen it time and time again. It's the Holy Spirit. It really Absolutely. And 34:59 being observant, into what they. >> What colors they like, what 35:04 they wear like the colors that they wear. If it's. >> Something like that and 35:08 what they talk about and >> usually go ask somebody, what does this think they 35:18 like. Yeah. So I usually just go around. Good. Those are a good way like them. Let's 35:23 transition to the last face of love out his words of affirmation it. 35:32 >> Well, I thought about it quite a You know, we all respond to the different love 35:39 languages we just respond Each of us to each of them because I think they're all a part of 35:44 us. >> If your primary love language is words of 35:50 affirmation by Dan, you react or respond very strongly to words They can take you up to 35:58 that high mountain top 5th. The loved ones. Some some loved one says something to 36:03 you. Arthel. Loved one can take you down to the valley ally of despair with just a 36:10 careless word. Okay. When we're reading our Bible, we will come to passages that 36:19 speak to us regarding something that word. Currently happening or going through. 36:27 And then that becomes very intimate to us. These are lifting us up to the and also. 36:42 It gives us a feeling of his presence. know, I'm this. I'm close to the Lord. I'm on 36:46 valley. And then sometimes it. Pixar conscience because it's something that we need to fix. 36:55 Yeah. Feeling guilty about and the desire for given forgiveness is very intense 37:02 and us. So then it's a matter of how we respond. If we respond very quickly with an 37:08 affirmation action. Then. Our emotions after reading that and studying the Bible because 37:19 it is God speaking directly to us. If we go to him and it positive action of 37:25 forgiveness, then we will have a piece that we're not going to have that piece and tell we 37:31 go to the Lord and and if we do that quickly, do it the quicker we have the Okay. 37:41 gods. The study in reading the Bible. God is speaking directly to us and our current 37:51 situation. Emotions are affected by that. But even if our primary, even if our 37:58 primary language is not words of affirmation, we have a response to his words in a way 38:04 that we would not have to human words. just different, OK? Now, my primary love 38:11 language is words of from a I? There were several Bible verses that I claimed in held 38:19 on to once I became without one being. I'm right here. I have it written down as some 38:29 68 5. And that's where God David says that God says that that God is a defender of 38:38 without just in. I had to claim that my husband was 6 foot 8 and he was very broad 38:43 in the shoulders. And when he hugged me, I always feel very safe and protected from him 38:51 when he wrapped his arms around me. In my mind and heart, no one could touch or 38:58 harm me and I and completely loved so didn't know So when I lost David, I meant it had to 39:08 completely lean on the Lord. So there was nobody so Isaiah 41 to 10. Someone gave that to 39:16 me and I have loved it. I haven't hung in my bed roads. It's like Isaiah. 41 1 fear 39:23 not for I am with you. Yes. Be not dismayed for I am your God. I was trying to new. Yes, 39:30 I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous. Just my right hand. God is so good 39:39 with words of affirmation and a and lifting a softening courage. And so the Bible was 39:44 where I got my strength. That was it was what carried me through night. And I became 39:51 closer with God because I had lost a month because human words. Are not as good. And 40:01 David was very good with words and he could lift me up to the sky and encourage me and make 40:05 me believe that there was nothing we could do together everything. Anything we can do 40:11 together. It was going to be able to be able to that. However, a careless could of 40:18 criticism could. Devastating. And he didn't even know he was doing it. You didn't do it 40:26 deliberately. He wasn't trying to hurt me. And we didn't know our own languages of love. We 40:33 were married a lot of years be because we got married and 71. He wrote the book and 92? 40:40 Yeah. was and I tell them that we found out. But our love language was so we I would do 40:49 I would talk to him about wonderful things and he would do acts of service for me. 40:55 Vehicle. We appreciated them. I was told he was acts of service, which I was 41:00 completely in So I wouldn't come just tell him how wonderful he was. He would 41:06 bring me it Claire's. >> But it wasn't that big of a deal. But once we so we 41:18 accidentally fed each other once in a while, really needed >> I know that he would say to 41:23 me. Dear, we having lunch had like, well, are you hungry? He'd like? 41:36 >> his and I'm working. I don't even think about eating. And he was like I shouldn't 41:41 have to tell you. It's Making sense to me if you're hungry, just tell me. that once 41:49 learned each other's once we learned each other's love language, then we could be we 41:58 could deliberately and intentionally start speaking in filling each other's love 42:03 need a different. It was wonderful and we could laugh about it. 42:08 >> Him the last few months, Scott has begun to show me that my love language of words 42:15 of affirmation was a gift. He gave me along with gifts of helps. So how is I use in my 42:19 words? The fire is a question. Christian. I use my words often to be funny and 42:28 sarcastic way. So people would laugh. And I was entertaining. But a lot of times, even the 42:35 person. They would laugh. But maybe I hurt them too. So after I became a Christian, I 42:43 still continue to be entertaining. I think I said what about? Curtis was set. He 42:53 he'll know he's funny. And in that he'll never be as entertaining as I ever 43:04 >> so I got has impressed me. >> That I need to be intentional speaking in my 43:14 words of 2 other people and not just entertaining or not just So it's made a difference 43:22 in because if I'm going to try to intentionally speak to someone. I have to start 43:27 paying attention to them what are their needs reading them. And and it takes you out of 43:34 yourself. And I am very grateful. It makes a difference. So I'm successful 43:40 in doing this. 99% of the time. there's always. My days are better than I am 43:49 successful. then when I don't quite be as successful, it can cause a disaster. It makes my 44:01 day not so good and it can. It can be not a very good. David also can turn into a disaster 44:07 I want have 100% surrender because there are consequences to fail I'm not only to me but 44:14 to others to So I'm grateful that God. Helps me try to stay on this path and I'm working. 44:25 so if you hear me sometimes, I am open to So everyone out that let me encourage you the 44:31 cause. Words of affirmation do touch all of us no matter what our love Yes. So I would 44:41 encourage you with God's words of songs. 37 24 4. And that is though he or she. Fall, they 44:51 shall not be utterly cast down. for the Lord of holds him with his hands. 44:58 >> Whether your love languages, affirmation, words of affirmation or not. I 45:05 encourage you to use them well and be a voice for the Lord to uplift your brothers and 45:12 sisters. no matter what your love languages, let words of affirmation be a part of it. 45:16 >> And I think it will. Change your world that's someone else's. Yeah. Thank you so 45:22 much. She that's beautiful. >> He had a for years by your desk. I hope I can remember, 45:29 right, Lord, please keep your hand on my shoulder. Now and your hand over my mask. 45:37 >> Haha. >> Now one that said, please let my words to be pleasant. I 45:41 may have to eat him haha office and laugh and go. Those are good that says. 45:53 >> It is better to I forgot what it says. No nevermind better just to right words and 46:00 have to I try and do what you can and do they do? >> I have a question that came 46:04 mind as you're talking is how do you distinguish words of affirmation and flattery? And 46:13 not do you know because flattery is? >> Not to me. It's very easy 46:18 when someone starts trying to lift media, I consider that I don't know. It had to when 46:26 someone starts getting a little too. Yeah. And the flowery and kanji. I just love 46:38 that. Hand worked for me what do you want to buy? Nation are. 46:49 >> And gee, I free on lifting you up. You do different job. I'm very happy. Yeah. That God 46:57 gave hassle, indicate a wonderful someday. >> I think yeah. Time raise, 47:03 you know, look in the eye I yeah, motive motive makes it does. And when people do 47:11 flatter you and there are there, you're getting uncomfortable. You just give 47:12 it to the larger like, well, thank you. I praise the Lord that he is blessed. always say 47:19 that give it right back with a of praise. The Lord raise alarm about gave me a gift to 47:24 help where we're so happy to do this for Thank you, Lord. >> Words are so varying 47:28 important. You know, they say sticks and stones may break my bones was never words would 47:34 never Words hurt extremely. And so it's so important. The words we use or if we mess up 47:41 with the words we used to go back and say I'm so sorry hurting you. I'm sorry. For 47:46 the words I used to edify and lift up our and sisters. Let's have some prayer request of 47:58 This just to read them through and then we'll spend some time in prayer. Andrew Whitaker 48:02 from Canada, ivory per request. I need to move to a safer and more affordable this 48:10 one is just initials from New York. Please pray. For healing for this friends foot from 48:21 someone else needs prayer for healing. He's very sick right now in the hospital. This one 48:27 says pray for my nephew, Nehemiah who's chosen to live a life of l***. Pray for my 48:34 siblings and nieces and nephews who are being consumed by the distractions of 48:39 worldliness and seeking man's approval. Following faults profits and fault sconce pray 48:46 for my children to keep holding the hand of the Lord. Never take their eyes off him. 48:50 Pray for my husband. It was losing his family by ignoring the tugging on his heart of 48:56 Jesus Christ. Pray that God would obliterate Satan's hold on his family. This one's is 49:06 from Thompson in Maryland. Pray for me for God to perform eye surgery tomorrow through 49:13 my doctor. Don't know what's are you having Thompson tomorrow? But we will be 49:14 praying for you. This is pray for my son and a lot around battling with the pain of 49:22 prostate and for his wife and children in this one says. My daughter does not go to school 49:28 on a regular basis. And I feel sad in my heart. What kind of mother would allow this to 49:34 keep happening? Please pray. She's dealing with guilt as well. seems like several 49:39 tonight. Yeah. Out with a or not. Sure if God can forgive you so let's spend a moment 49:45 just talking about that guilt for this mom and then maybe we can go to the Lord in prayer, 49:50 but anything you would tell her. But not holding on to guilt or not caring, killed. 49:56 You know, self talk. >> We we we carry that guilt and we do a lot of self talk 50:02 to to emphasize it. And just just after words of affirmation that Lord, I 50:10 accept your Thank you for for giving me change. You are in negative words in your 50:17 negative thoughts and you need to speak them out loud. This may sound silly and you may 50:22 not be able to do it at first, but tuck yourself in a mere. Lord. Thank you for for giving 50:32 me. And and and say right words of affirmation to yourself. Shelley talks about 50:36 that a lot from what we feed our brain is what kind of goes into our heart in a bean. So 50:41 you have to start after doing affirmations of what the Bible read, the promises in the 50:50 Bible out loud. Yes, and internalize them to you because guilt is Satan's. 50:56 Yeah. And he's trying to take you down. Telly. Look, raise your eyes of to have look up 51:03 to lift to rise up and speak words of affirmation I would say there is a true guilt that 51:10 comes from God. And true because God brings conviction. Yes conviction of got the 51:20 condemnation. >> This from the and a and Satan is the accuser, the 51:24 brother. So you do. You can differentiate between 2 2 more prayer requests and then we'll 51:28 pray. This is from Jamaica. And Jane Point like that great for me and my children to 51:31 have. >> Peace. >> Enjoy game and all. And 51:36 this one is Sandy in Michigan. Pray for my boyfriend, John, who is believing a lie about 51:42 me. cannot get past. Don't know. Yeah. It's difficult when you have that with let's 51:49 go around the circle. I think we have enough time. Let's around the circle, start wind 51:53 tunnel and go all the way around and let's all pray and just pick whoever the Lord 51:55 puts on your heart from >> Okay. >> To heavily father. We do. 52:01 Thank you that we can come to us. Our needs there are so many needs. Lauren, you see 52:06 and you hear them all even if they're not even spoken. I'm thinking of the mothers and 52:12 those that express that they have guild as we talked about that condemnation that comes 52:19 from the enemy. But you can lift that you can give us the spirit of it of. Your love. 52:26 Instead of the spirit of heaviness that puts on us. I just pray that you was lift us 52:31 from those that are experienced in spirit seeing and that you would help them 52:36 help them to see their value in you the enemy has Yeah, they can hold nothing over 52:41 them that they don't allow. You can take that away. Just help them to allow you to take 52:45 that away. Word. Thank you. I have really fallen Regis. >> love you and show. Your 52:52 love to these people or that the right people in their way toward and the one that sticks 52:57 out to me right now is how people just believe lies. Lord the couple. They're dating. 53:06 pray there and your faith, lord and Lord, if you don't want them together or may you 53:15 give them peace and weave them to you lord and lead them to. But for your word and guide 53:21 them. if you want them a baby together, lording it with everyone that's sick and the 53:27 Perth test your hand in hand on them or more let him know that you're there with have 53:34 really father. There's so many people like the nephew that has the children there so many 53:41 they want them to turn to you specifically and Lord. >> What can we give you given 53:45 us so much how we can give us a hard that's the honest pair of I loved ones they want to 53:54 give to you in Lloyd. And again, we just at your feet. Please continue to send the 54:00 Holy Spirit >> He and fathers. We continue in prayer. I like John did a 54:08 few names and Andrew needs a place to Lord, please provide the right place at the right 54:14 time. You know exactly what he needs to He also the nephew who's living the life of lost 54:22 all there's a chain that's find in this young man. I pray, father, that you he'll 54:29 come to you to break this chain prayers. Lots of prayers for this young man is going 54:34 and we pray for the surgery. Someone's having surgery tomorrow. All that the speed 54:42 with that person has in the hospital and please help them to come through the surgery 54:48 wonderfully. And we know you're the massive physician. So thank you for being and 54:52 thank you for our prayer. Thank you for the wonderful program to 9 and all the 55:00 viewers and be with them. Fogging up. We look forward to that. Great. Hey, when will 55:04 meet and that glorious day in. Haven't faced a blessed with pace in name. 55:12 >> Father, I lift up to all of up to that. Did not Colin or Texan, but having of pain or 55:22 of lost children. Father, we we left our family and loved ones up we ask that you 55:31 continue striving with them that they may find you and open their hearts views you 55:35 are the and father. I also lift up this gentleman for. Surging. Give the knowledge, 55:48 let your healing hand there and then open their minds up to know exactly what to do 55:53 make this a successful surgery and give him a piece of yes is he goes into this father. And 55:58 we thank Are. His luge of prairie privilege of being your hands and feet 56:06 ♪ >> Thank you all so much for being here. I do now and 56:14 Angela Angie, Andy, you're all my sister's love you all. Thank you for sharing your 56:21 heart. experience from the word of God. And I'm I'm my heart's been blessed to 9 to 56:28 thank you very much. And just reminded one of you pray this in your prayer. What shall I 56:33 rendered to the Lord for all his benefits toward me? And that is an incredible psalm. 56:38 What shall I render took on. So whether you are struggling in the depths of despair, 56:45 claim the promises in the word of God, look Jesus, turn him. And if you are. Relaxing 56:54 basking in the joy of Jesus. We turn to him your heart returned to him your service 57:03 and reach out to other people. know that we love you will see you next time. He's a rose is 57:09 a ♪ ♪ 57:22 ♪ ♪ ♪ 57:37 ♪ ♪ ♪ 57:53 ♪ |
Revised 2023-02-17