Participants:
Series Code: TDYL
Program Code: TDYL210030B
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02:10 [MUSIC PLAYING]. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING].
05:13 >> YOU CAN AGREE THAT THAT WAS ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL. 05:18 >> A PRAYER SET TO MUSIC. >> IN OUR FIRST HOUR WE HAVE 05:25 BEEN TALKING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. 05:29 ABOUT AND THAT A CLIFFHANGER BUT WHEN JASON ASKED YOU SOMETHING 05:39 AND THEN HE SAYS DID YOU HEAR ME REPEAT IT BACK TO ME THAT IS 05:43 CALL REFLECTIVE LISTENING. >> IN THE BOOK THEY CALL THIS 05:49 EMPATHY. >> EMPATHY IS YOUR LISTENING 05:55 YOUR HEARING WHAT I'M SAYING OR TAKING THE TIME HEAR ME AND YOU 06:00 WILL REPEAT BACK TO ME WHAT I SAID. 06:05 >> VALIDATION WE SPEAK ABOUT AND WHAT VALIDATION IS IS SIMPLY 06:14 SAYING I HEAR YOU, I CARE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL, YOU CAN VALIDATE A 06:22 PERSON WITHOUT VALIDATING WHATEVER THE FOUNDATION IS THAT 06:25 THEY GOT WRONG THINKING BUT WE STILL NEED TO LISTEN FOR THIS 06:29 BECAUSE I CONFESS THAT MY PARTNERS THAT -- MY PERSONALITY 06:34 IS A FIXTURE AND ARMOR ONCE WHEN I WAS TALKING TO A FRIEND FROM 06:38 ENGLAND AND THAT SHE WOULD TELL ME SOMETHING THAT HER DAUGHTER 06:40 DEAD AND SHE WAS LIKE WHOA IS ME AND I STARTED SAYING WELL BUT 06:45 MAYBE SHE MET THIS OR THAT AND I AM TRYING TO HELP HER PAINT A 06:51 ROSY PICTURE AND THIS WAS YEARS AGO AND SHE SAID YOU DON'T CARE 06:55 ABOUT MY FEELINGS YOU ARE TAKING GO TO VALIDATE SOMEBODY YOU 07:04 SHOULD BE EMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FEELINGS 07:07 ARE. >> AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS WHEN I 07:11 SAY TO RESEAT WHAT I SAID ABOUT ME THAT IT ALSO GIVES US AN 07:17 OPPORTUNITY TO CORRECT A MISCOMMUNICATION. 07:20 I MAY BE SO EMOTIONAL THAT I MISS COMMUNICATE OR I COULD BE 07:24 COMMUNICATING IN SUCH A WAY THAT REESE HE HEARING SOMETHING THAT 07:28 I NEED TO SAY AND SO WHEN SHE SAYS IT BACK TO ME I WILL SAY AT 07:31 ONE POINT I DID SAY THAT BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT I COULD 07:34 SEE HOW YOU TOOK THAT AND I COULD SEE WHY YOU TOOK IT THAT 07:36 WAY BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. IT REALLY HELPS TO MAKE. 07:42 >> I WANT TO ASK YOU, THERE IS PROBABLY SOMETHING HERE THE 07:51 SOUND MORE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT APPEAR TO A WOMAN BUT HOW LONG 07:55 DID IT TAKE YOU ALL TO GET INTO THIS PATTERN AND IS IT HAVE YOU 08:02 FOUND THE REWARD OF DOING THIS THE BENEFIT TO BEING WORTH THE 08:08 EFFORT? >> 32 YEARS >> THAT YOU CLARIFY 08:16 THIS AT FIRST. THIS IS THE SCHOOL SOMETIME 08:19 SCHOOL LAST A LONG TIME SOMETIMES YOU ARE A. 08:27 >> THIS DOES BRING SOME CLARITY TO IT. 08:32 >> THIS IS NOT JUST FOR MARRIAGE BUT FOR RELATIONSHIPS IN THE 08:39 CHURCH RELATIONSHIP IN THE FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS THAT WORK. 08:44 WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING THAT GOD KEEPS LAYING ON YOUR HEART AND 08:50 YOU LOOK AROUND AT OUR WORLD AND WE HAVE ENTERTAINMENT AND 08:57 COMMUNICATION AND WE INDULGE WITH PEOPLE AND PEOPLE ARE 09:02 GETTING INTO THE SPACES AND THE NOBODY EVEN AS IS GIVEN THE 09:08 RIGHT TO HAVE A DIFFERING OPINION NOW. 09:12 HAVING DIFFERING OPINION DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE ENEMIES 09:15 WITH SOMEBODY BUT IT IS BECOMING THAT WAY. 09:19 >> I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY THAT I THINK IT TAKES LESS TIME TO GO 09:22 THROUGH SOMETHING THAT YOU DIFFER ON BECAUSE IT 09:26 COMMUNICATED ABOUT IT IT'S DONE IT'S WRAPPED UP OR AS BEFORE IT 09:29 MAY HAVE LASTED LIKE YOU SAID THE HOLE DAY BUT FOR THOSE TIMES 09:34 WHERE THEY DON'T LIKE A LOT OF WORK ANYTHING YOU DO IN LIFE 09:36 THAT IS WORTH HAVING AND ACCOMPLISHING WORK AND IT'S NOT 09:40 A BAD WORK BUT IT MAKES IT WORKED. 09:54 >> BUT THE WAY MEN WORKING WOMEN MARK OR OPPOSITE. 10:00 WAS IMPORTANT TO MEN THERE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE WOMEN. 10:04 AND VICE VERSA IF YOU CARE ABOUT ANY RELATIONSHIP MUCH LESS YOUR 10:14 MATE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT LISTEN AND YOU MIGHT TRY 10:17 IT. IF YOU'RE SO THERE'S NOTHING 10:25 WRONG WITH THAT. >> AND SHELLEY WAS SAYING THIS 10:27 IS NOT JUST FOR MARRIAGE THE BOOK OF JOB IS A PERFECT 10:32 ILLUSTRATION OF THIS HOLE PROCESS AND WERE TALKING ABOUT 10:36 EMPATHY AND THAT THE FIRST STEP. EMPATHY IS WHERE YOUR HEARING 10:39 WITH OTHER PERSON IS SINGING AND YOUR HEARING IN SUCH A WAY THAT 10:42 YOU'RE SPEAKING INTO IT YOU WON'T FIND THAT THE BOOK OF JOB. 10:45 WHEN IT COMES TO JOB AND HIS THREE FRIENDS >> VALIDATION 10:51 POURING OUT HIS HEART AND THEY DID NOT HEAR WHAT HE SAID AND 10:56 IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DIRECTION. 10:58 THEY CAME AT JOB AS IF THEY KNEW HIS PROBLEM AND THEY KNEW THE 11:02 ISSUE AND THEY WERE TRYING TO PROVE THAT HE WAS DOING OR HAD A 11:05 RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND THAT WAS A THING AND THAT WAS 11:09 ACCORDING TO WHAT THEY FELT IN THEIR EVIDENCE WHAT WAS 11:13 HAPPENING TO HIM. >> YOU MUST BE A SINNER, YOU 11:15 MUST BE A HYPOCRITE YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING ALONG WITH THE 11:18 RELATIONSHIP AS THIS WOULD HAVE TO PURSUE PERSON WHO IS 11:21 RIGHTEOUS. AND JOB SAID BUT NO. 11:23 HE SAID IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND HE NEVER HEARD IT. 11:27 NOT ONE SINGLE TIME DID YOU HEAR YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE 11:33 WORTHLESS AND MISERABLE COMFORTERS AND IF YOU JUST BE 11:39 QUIET AND A AND THAT WILL BE COVERING UP FOR ME YOUR >> THE 11:44 BOOK OF JOB NOW THE REASON I BRING THIS UP IS BECAUSE WERE 11:48 TALKING ABOUT COMMUNICATION AND PROCESS AND WOULD START WITH THE 11:52 FIRST ONE AND IT'S POSSIBLE FOR RELIGIOUS PEOPLE TO NOT BE ABLE 11:57 TO GET PAST THAT FIRST STEP. WHEN YOU DON'T GET PAST EMPATHY 12:11 YOU WILL HAVE SERVICE OR RESPECT. 12:19 >> WHAT IS INTERESTING THE BOOK OF JOB IS THAT JOB JOB LOVED AND 12:25 PRAYED FOR HIS MISERABLE COMFORTERS ARE WORTHLESS FRIEND 12:28 EVEN NOW THIS IS THE POINT AND WANT TO MAKE IN OUR WORLD TODAY 12:33 IN SOCIETIES TODAY AND IT MANAGES TODAY THERE'LL BE TIMES 12:36 WHEN WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET PAST EMPATHY AND PAST THIS 12:42 REFLECTIVE CONVERSATION WHERE EMPATHIZING WITH SOMEONE ELSE 12:44 BUT IT DOES IT MEAN TO STOP LOVING EACH OTHER YOU CAN STILL 12:47 LOVE EACH OTHER AND WE NEED TO LOVE PEOPLE JOB WAS A CAPTIVE 12:51 POTENTIALLY TO BITTER THOUGHTS UNTIL HE PLAYED -- PRAYED FOR 12:53 HIS FRIENDS AND EVEN THOUGH HE COULD NOT COMMUNICATE WITH THEM 12:56 AND WHAT HE HAD TO DO WAS REJECT WHAT THEY WERE TELLING HIM HE 13:00 WAS HERE THERE PROJECTION OF WHO HE WAS AND THAT IS SOMETHING WE 13:07 WILL DEAL WITH UNTIL THE END OF TIME. 13:09 THE HOLE WORLD MATTHEW 24 VERSE NINE WILL HATE THAT PEOPLE FOR 13:13 HIS NAMESAKE THE NAME OF GOD WILL BE THE THE CENTERPIECE OF 13:17 THE HATRED AGAINST GOD'S PEOPLE AND WE WILL HAVE TO REJECT HOW 13:22 WE ARE BEING LABELED BY THE WORLD AND WE WILL PROJECT THAT 13:25 AT THE SAME TIME WE WILL LOVE THE WORLD. 13:27 WE WILL LOVE THE WORLD THE WAY CHRIST LOVED THE WORLD AND JOB 13:31 SHOWED US HOW TO DO THAT. WE CAN DISAGREE WITH THEIR 13:35 FRIENDS HE DIDN'T ACCEPT THE LABEL BUT THE SAME TIME WE CAN 13:41 PRAY FOR THAT AND DO THAT ALL RELATIONSHIPS CAN AND IN LOVE. 13:49 >> I WANT TO COME IN ON MISERABLE COMFORTERS. 14:04 IF SOMEBODY COMES TO YOU AND THEIR WANTING TO TALK EMPATHY IS 14:07 TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND THEIR FEELINGS BUT A LOT OF MEN IT'S 14:16 LIKE I CAN'T TALK TO MY HUSBAND BECAUSE AS SOON AS I BRING 14:20 SOMETHING UP HE SAYS THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO AND HE SHUTS 14:23 DOWN AND SET OUT HERE IS WHAT I DO I HAVE ONE LADY THAT IS 14:33 CHICKEN LITTLE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS THE SKY IS FALLING AND 14:36 THAT HER PERSONALITY AND THERE IS A TIME WHEN PEOPLE ARE 14:43 HURTING OR WHEN THEY ARE CONFUSED AND WHAT THEY WANT? 14:47 THEY WANT TO BE HEARD. AND I HAVE LEARNED TO SAY DO YOU 14:53 WANT MY HELP ON THIS PROBLEM? AND IT TO WHAT I SAY. 15:00 DO YOU WANT MY HELP IN THIS PROBLEM? 15:02 AND IF THEY SAY NO JUST FOCUS ON LISTENING COMFORTER ENOUGH. 15:08 >> LET'S MOVE ONTO MATTHEW 25. MATTHEW 25 JESUS IS TALKING 15:13 ABOUT HIS PEOPLE BUT HE LIKENS THEM TO VIRGINS AND THERE ARE 15:19 WIVES AND FOOD VIRGINS AND THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN THEM IS THAT 15:25 THE FOOLISH YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING THAT THAT IS THE OIL. 15:30 THEY DON'T HAVE SOMETHING THEY NEED AND IF SO WHO TODAY THEY 15:33 INITIALLY TURNED TO TO PROVIDE WHAT THEY NEED? 15:41 >> IT'S SO EASY FOR US TO TURN TO EACH OTHER AND HAVE FALSE 15:45 EXPECTATIONS BUT YOUR JOB IS TO PROVIDE FOR ME EVERYTHING I NEED 15:49 AND THAT IS NOT WHAT WE SIGNED UP FOR. 15:52 AND NO ONE CAN TRULY PROVIDE EVERYTHING I NEED BUT JESUS 15:56 CHRIST. AND I IS -- AND I THINK THAT IS 16:05 THE VERSE AND THE EXPECTATION IS OF THE YOU'RE THE ONE THAT CAN 16:10 FULLY SATISFY THESE NEEDS THAT I HAVE I KEEP LOOKING INTO THESE 16:15 OTHER HUMAN BEINGS TO PROVIDE FOR ME AND I THINK THAT IN OF 16:19 ITSELF WILL BECOME THE DANGEROUS RELATIONSHIP IN TERMS OF TRUE 16:28 INTIMACY. >> IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE HERE 16:31 WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE SENSE OF WHAT'S HAPPENING BUT WHAT WE 16:35 ARE SEEING HERE BECAUSE IT HELPS US TO PREPARE FOR >> RIGHT NOW 16:55 WE CAN LOOK AT THIS AND SAY I KNOW WHAT? 17:00 MY PRESENT CRISIS WHAT EVER IT IS REMINDING ME THAT I CANNOT 17:04 TRUST IN THE GOVERNMENT AND I CANNOT TRUST IN MY COMMUNITY AND 17:08 I CANNOT TRUST IN MY CHURCH OF MY CHURCH LEADERS AND I CANNOT 17:12 TRUST IN MY WIFE OR MY HUSBAND OR MY FAMILY MY TRUST IN MY 17:15 EXPECTATION MUST COME FROM THE LORD HIS ONLY ONE THAT COULD 17:19 GIVE ME THE HOLY SPIRIT CHARACTER AND IF WE HAVE THE 17:22 HOLY SPIRIT CHARACTER WE CAN GO THROUGH ANYTHING ALL DAY LONG. 17:27 WE CAN GO THROUGH ANYTHING LOOK AT THE DISCIPLES LOOK AT THE 17:29 CHURCH LOOK AT WHAT THEY WENT RAIL AFTER THEY WERE FILLED WITH 17:33 HOLY SPIRIT NOTHING ELSE MATTERED BUT JESUS CHRIST AND 17:36 THIS IS THE PICTURE WE ARE SINGING AND MATTHEW 25 STARTS 17:40 WITH THE TEN VERSIONS AND GOES TO THE TALENT BOTH OF THESE 17:45 PARALLEL PARABLES ARE RELATIONAL EXPERIENCE THE GOD WANTS US TO 17:50 HAVE WITH HIM AND TO TAKE A RELATIONSHIP OFF PEOPLE THE 17:54 NEGATIVE OF THIS IS REVEALED IN THE WAY THAT THEY RESPONDED TO 18:00 THIS CRISIS OF SEVERE OIL DEPENDENT ON PEOPLE DEPENDENT ON 18:03 OTHERS AND NOT DEPENDENT ON GOD THEY DON'T HAVE THAT 18:08 RELATIONSHIP. >> BUT TAKING IT FROM THE OTHER 18:11 SIDE I REMEMBER I USED TO READ THIS AND PEOPLE THEY HAD THE 18:16 FIVE WISE MEN AND THEY WERE LIKE GO BY YOUR OWN. 18:23 AND WHAT WAS THIS? BUT I HAD TO LEARN THAT MOLLY'S 18:30 USED TO TELL ME THAT HOW DID YOU PUT IT? 18:36 PEOPLE WHO SUCK THE SPIRITUAL LIFE OUT OF. 18:40 SPIRITUAL BEACHES THAT'S WHAT SHE CALLED IT. 18:43 AND SHE SAID YOU JUST HAVE TO LOVE THOSE PEOPLE AND SHE SAYS 18:48 YOU CAN'T BE THEIR FIX OR HAVE YOU EVER READ THE BOOK THE RACE. 18:56 HE GETS ALMOST ALL SCRIPTURE. >> GOD IS THE BOUNDARY SETTING 19:02 GOD AND WHEN PEOPLE COME TO YOU CAN'T ALWAYS COUNT ON YOUR WIFE 19:08 OR YOUR GOVERNMENT BUT WHEN PEOPLE COME TO US TO PRODUCE 19:14 SOMETHING THAT THEY SHOULD BE GOING TO GOD TO DO THEY WILL 19:18 NEED TO SET A BOUNDARY AND POINT THEM IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION 19:22 INSTEAD OF TRYING TO BE THEIR HERO. 19:26 >> WE ARE EMPATHIZING RIGHT NOW WE'RE LICKING THIS LISTING OF 19:33 THE PERSON. THEY ARE ALSO HAVING AN ENOUGH 19:40 COURAGE TO BE ASSERTIVE THEMSELVES AND TO SHARE AN 19:42 OPINION AFTER WERE ALL FINISHED. AFTER THEY'RE ALL FINISHED AND 19:46 WE HEARD THAT WE SHOULD WE ALSO TO HAVE THESE BOUNDARIES AND 19:51 IT'S A GOOD BOOK THAT YOU RECOMMENDING WE SHOULD LISTEN TO 19:59 PEOPLE THAT WE ALSO TO BE CAREFUL FOR >> I OFTEN HAVE BEEN 20:21 IN SITUATIONS AND AM A PEOPLE PLEASER AND I'M LISTENING AND 20:28 EMPATHIZING AND OVER-THE-TOP EMPATHIZING JUST SO MUCH SO THAT 20:31 I WANT TO GET IN THE SITUATION SOMETIMES AND VERY ASSERTIVE AND 20:48 PEOPLE SAY DID YOU SAY THIS OR THAT IS YOUR OPINION OR ANYTHING 20:52 AND I SAY I DIDN'T AND I PROBABLY BY I HAD A SITUATION 20:59 LIKE THIS APPEAR >> THAT'S WELL PUT. 21:01 >> I HAD A SITUATION WHERE SOMEBODY KEPT BRINGING UP A 21:06 CONVERSATION THAT WAS OVER THE TOP AND JUST PUT ME ON -- I AM 21:15 LIKE THIS BUT THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT I DON'T EVER 21:18 WANT TO HEAR IT AGAIN BUT YOU CAN'T COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY 21:21 THAT BECAUSE YOU HURT THEIR FEELINGS. 21:23 BUT WHAT I LEARNED IS THAT THIS KIND OF CONVERSATION IS NOT 21:32 CONDUCIVE TO THE GOOD WORK RELATIONSHIP. 21:34 OR YOU COULD SAY TO YOUR HUSBAND HONEY, IF YOU SAY SUCH AND SUCH 21:43 THIS IS NOT REALLY BENEFICIAL TO OUR LOVE RELATIONSHIP. 21:47 AND THE IT I BEGIN TO PUT BOUNDARIES ON THIS AND AS SOON 21:52 AS I SAY I GO AWAY AND THAT'S INTERESTING BUT YOU HAVE TO DO 21:56 IT WITH RESPECT. >> ABSOLUTELY. 21:59 >> AND WITH THESE EXPECTATIONS I WANT TO CLARIFY THAT WE HAVE 22:04 HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR OURSELVES AND FOR EACH OTHER FOR OUR 22:08 RELATIONSHIPS WE DO. IN TO SET THE BAR HIGH. 22:14 WE WANT TO WORK TOWARD THIS BUT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 22:18 THOSE KINDS OF EXPECTATIONS AND HAVING A FALSE EXPECTATION AND 22:22 WHEN YOU LOOK AT JESUS CHRIST AND THE PEOPLE HAVE REJECTED HIM 22:25 THEY HAD FALSE EXPECTATIONS OF HIM AND WHO HE WAS AND WHO HE 22:29 WAS TO BE TO THEM YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME FREEDOM FROM 22:32 THE ROMANS AND CAROL ALL THE SICK PEOPLE AND THAT IS WHO YOU 22:36 ARE TO ME AND WHEN JESUS SAID THIS IS WHO LIGHT AND I AM THE 22:41 BREAD OF LIFE AND I AM GOING TO LAY DATE OF MY LIFE FOR YOU THEY 22:44 REJECTED HIS BEING ABOUT WHO HE WAS FOR THEIR OWN AND SO THEY 22:49 HAD THOSE FALSE EXPECTATIONS THAT WE CAN ENTER INTO A 22:52 MARRIAGE OF FALSE EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT WE WANT THE OTHER PERSON 22:55 TO BE RATHER THAN WHO THEY ARE WHICH IS WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO 22:58 REALLY KNOW YOURSELF BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED OR JUST BE WILLING 23:01 TO ACCEPT THIS IS THE MAN I MARRIED AND I'M GOING TO LET HIM 23:04 FOR WHO HE IS AND NOT TRYING TO FORM HIM INTO WHAT I WANT HIM TO 23:09 BE IN MY FALSE EXPECTATIONS. >> I THINK YOU MIGHT NEED TO 23:16 REPEAT THAT. EVERYBODY WANTS TO DO THINGS 23:19 THEIR WAY. I KNOW BEST AND KNOW WHAT I 23:23 NEED. AND THEN YOU WAKE UP AND I NEED 23:27 TO EXPLAIN BECAUSE YOU KIND OF CHANGED THOUGHTS BUT THE MOST 23:33 IMPORTANT DECISION YOU'LL EVER MAKE IS ACCEPTING CHRIST AS YOUR 23:36 SAVIOR BUT THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT DECISION YOU'LL EVER 23:40 MAKE IS WHO YOU MARRY. >> LET ME UNDERSTAND THAT. 23:50 >> FALSE EXPECTATIONS ARE RELATIONSHIP KILLERS. 23:55 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO BE 24:00 YOUR EVERYTHING LIKE PEOPLE WILL SAY YOU CAN COMPLETE ME. 24:07 WE ARE ONLY COMPLETED IN CHRIST BUT IF YOU LOOK AT SOMEBODY AND 24:10 SAY THE WRONG THING THAN ACTUALLY YOU'RE PUSHING A PERSON 24:14 AWAY BECAUSE THEY CANNOT MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 24:19 >> THIS IS SIGNIFICANT BUT AGAIN LET'S BRING IT BACK TO THE 24:22 BIBLICAL PRINCIPLE WE TALKED ABOUT IN THE SHOW ALSO I THINK 24:25 WITH JESUS IT WAS POWERFUL TO RECOGNIZE AS RECEIPT SHARED, 24:31 THAT JESUS DID NOT CONFORM TO THE EXPECTATION OF THE DISCIPLES 24:34 OF THE NATION AND THE GOVERNMENT AND THE RELIGIOUS LEADERS HE GOD 24:39 GAVE HIM A MISSION AND HE STUCK TO THIS MISSION BUT HE LOVES HIS 24:43 DISCIPLES IN THE END THAT HE LOVED THE RELIGIOUS LEADERS I 24:47 LOVE THE ROMANS AND HE PRAYED FOR THEM WHEN THEY WERE 24:51 PERSECUTED. AND THE DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU 24:54 HAVE TO CONFORM TO PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS APPEAR IS LEFT DOES 24:59 NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO AGREE WITH EVERYTHING. 25:03 BUT WHAT'S HAPPENING IS THE WORD LOVE IS BEING HIJACKED AND 25:06 KIDNAPPED AND YOU NEED TO DO THIS IF YOU REALLY LOVE AND IF 25:09 YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR YOU SHOULD DO THIS IF YOU REALLY 25:11 LOVE ME YOU SHOULD DO THIS IF YOU REALLY LOVE THIS COUNTRY 25:14 WILL DO THIS NOW WE ARE GOING TO DO WHAT GOD WANTS US TO DO. 25:18 WE WILL NOT CONFORM TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND WE WILL NOT 25:21 PEOPLE PLEASE WE WILL DO WHAT GOD HAS CALLED US TO DO BUT WE 25:23 WILL STILL LOVE YOU. ACTUALLY WE CAN STILL DO IT. 25:27 CHRISTIANS CAN STILL LAB EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T CONFORM EVEN 25:30 THOUGH THEY DON'T CONFORM. >> IT'S WAS IN A LOVING 25:34 RELATIONSHIP THAT WE CAN MAINTAIN IDENTITY AND 25:37 INDIVIDUALITY AND IN A RELATIONSHIP IN WHICH DO I WANT 25:44 YOU TO BE. THERE IS MANIPULATION AND 25:47 COERCION AND ALL KINDS OF DYSFUNCTIONAL WAYS OF RELATING 25:49 TO THE OTHER PERSON AND THE FREEDOM IS GONE AND THAT IS 25:53 MISERABLE. >> THAT'S REVELATION 13 AND 14. 25:57 THE BEAST, THE DRAGON VERSUS THE EVERLASTING GOSPEL. 26:00 IN FREEDOM THAT GOD GIVES US TO WORSHIP OR NOT WORSHIP HIM AND 26:04 THOSE OF THE PRINCIPLES WERE LOOKING AT IN FACT REVELATION 13 26:07 IS THERE WE WERE LOOKING AT BEAST WITH A LAMB LIKE HORNS. 26:15 AND THAT CIVIL FREEDOM OF RELIGIOUS FREEDOM AND WE SEE 26:18 THAT HERE IN THE EXPERIENCES OF GOD'S PEOPLE IN THE BIBLE. 26:22 I MEAN, THERE IS EXPERIENCE AFTER EXPERIENCE AND CHAPTER 26:25 AFTER CHAPTER THAT BRINGS AT THE SAME PRINCIPLES IN ALL OF THEM 26:29 CULMINATE IN THE BOOK OF REVELATION. 26:31 REVELATION 13 AND 14 AND MATTHEW 24 HAPPENS TO BE A PARALLEL TO 26:35 THE BOOK OF REVELATION IT IS THE LAST DAY OF THE PARALLEL BUT 26:40 MATTHEW 25 IT UNPACKS THE RELATIONAL DYNAMICS THAT IS 26:44 ACTUALLY HAPPENING BEHIND THE SCENES. 26:46 THIS IS REALLY WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. 26:52 GATHER WARMTH OF THE OTHER ENCOURAGE FROM THEIR COWARDICE 26:55 TO LOVE THE WORLD AS CHRIST LOVED THE WORLD AND THE MISSION 26:59 IS ACCOMPLISHED THAT PERSEVERE TO THE END AND SO THE LOVE DOES 27:03 NOT WAX COLD THIS IS THE RELATIONSHIP WE THINK IT'S ABOUT 27:07 A DOCTORING OR A DAY BUT THE CRISIS IS ABOUT CHARACTER. 27:14 IN PLACE THAT HAPPENS NOT TO SINGLE PEOPLE OUT BUT GOD GIVES 27:20 US PARTNERS WIVES HUSBANDS TO SMOOTH OUT A ROUGH EDGES AND 27:23 GROW AS IMMATURE AS TO HELP US TO GET TO THAT PLACE. 27:28 HELP ME. HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME. 27:32 >> TO ME WITH SO IMPORTANT AND THIS IS -- IN YOUR WALK NOW YOU 27:43 HAVE FOUR EYES INSTEAD OF TWO AND YOU'RE LOOKING IN THE SAME 27:48 DIRECTION. >> SOMEONE FROM CALIFORNIA HAS 27:55 WRITTEN AND SAID HOW DO YOU GET SOMEONE TO START COMMUNICATING 27:59 MORE WHEN THEY ARE AND ADMITTED PERSON A FEW WORDS? 28:08 >> RECEIPT TAKE THAT QUESTION. >> I WOULD CHERISH THE FEW WORDS 28:14 BECAUSE YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE AT THE END OF THE DAY A PERSON 28:18 WITH FEW WORDS MANY WORDS IN A PERSON OF MANY WORDS FEW WORDS. 28:22 IF THEY ARE COMFORTABLE AND DON'T FEEL LIKE THEY ARE 28:24 ATTACKED HOW CAN I TRULY CHERISH THE MAN THAT I MARRIED WITH A 28:27 MAN OF FEW WORDS CAN I HAVE THOSE FEW WORDS MEAN A LOT TO 28:32 ME? CAN THEY BE WELL CHOSEN AND 28:34 COMMUNICATE TO ME THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT MAY BE ON 28:38 THIS ISSUE OR EXPRESSING YOUR LOVE ET CETERA BUT I WOULD HAVE 28:41 THAT OPEN COMMUNICATION. I WANT TO ACCEPT YOU FULLY FOR 28:44 WHO YOU ARE A MAN OF FEW WORDS BUT I NEED THOSE FEW WORDS TO 28:48 COUNT AND TO REGISTER THEM. >> AND THAT COULD LEAD TO 28:54 FORWARD TO JUST DON'T KNOW. >> SYMPTOMS OR A TOPIC IS IF YOU 28:57 WE WOULD SAY SOMETHING THAT WILL BE USED AGAINST US. 29:02 WE WILL EXPRESS OUR HEARTS AND COMMUNICATE WHAT'S ON OUR MIND 29:05 AND WILL BE TURNED AS A WEAPON. SO NOW I AM MORE FREE THAN I 29:12 USED TO BE BECAUSE I HAVE GONE THROUGH EXPERIENCES LIKE THAT IN 29:15 THE PAST BUT THIS IS MY WIFE AND I TRUST HER AND SO NOW I WILL 29:19 OPEN MY HEART AND TELL HER. OF COURSE THE REASON WHY I DO 29:23 THAT SO QUICKLY NOW IS BECAUSE IF I WAIT IT WILL COME OUT IN A 29:28 BURST OF ANGER RATHER THAN JUST THIS NICE CALM COMMUNICATION AND 29:35 I KNOW HER INITIAL RESPONSE MIGHT CAUSE ME TOO ACTUALLY DO 29:39 THIS AND IF I COME OUT I SAY NOPE ACTUALLY I AM FINE I AM NOT 29:44 UPSET AND WHEREAS BEFORE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I BROUGHT UP 29:47 SOMETHING LIKE THIS BECAUSE I WAS UPSET NOW IT'S MORE LIKE NOW 29:50 BECAUSE I WANT TO PROCESS BEFORE I GET TO THAT PLACE NOT WRONG TO 29:56 BE ANGRY. WHY ARE YOU ANGRY? 29:59 BECAUSE I FELT LIKE THE WAY YOU JUST ACTED AND WHAT YOU JUST DID 30:05 WAS DISRESPECTFUL OR IT WAS UNLOVING AND SO I'M TALKING TO 30:09 YOU ABOUT IT. ANGER IS NOT SOMETHING THAT IS 30:12 WRONG IF IT IS AGAIN SOMETHING YOU FEEL WAS LIKE BUT THEN I SAY 30:18 I DID NOT KNOW YOU FELT THAT WAY OR DID NOT MAKE YOU FEEL THAT 30:22 WAY AND SO OKAY HONEY I'M SORRY I JUST TOOK IT THAT WAY UNTIL HE 30:26 RECONCILED THE HOLE PROCESS. THE HOLE PROCESS HELPS US 30:30 RECONCILE AND THEN I HAVE THIS HOLE STUFF AND SHE CAN'T 30:35 REMEMBER TEN DAYS AGO WHAT SHE DID. 30:43 >> I ALSO WANT TO SAY WHEN I WAS RAISING MY CHILDREN AND THE 30:48 CHILDREN WERE SMALL AND I WOULD CATCH THEM DOING SOMETHING GOOD 30:52 WE GET A LOT OF ATTENTION TO THE POOR BEHAVIOR THAT KIND OF 30:58 ACCENTUATES THAT BUT WHEN YOU CATCH SOMEONE DOING GOOD AND YOU 31:03 WERE THEM FOR THAT IN WHATEVER WAY THAT THEY EXPERIENCE REWARD 31:08 THEY'RE MORE LIKELY TO OPEN UP AND BOUGHT BLOSSOM AND SELL THAT 31:12 COULD ANOTHER TECHNIQUE YOU KNOW. 31:16 YOU COULD TRY IT. >> AND ITS MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO 31:20 THEY LEARN THEMSELVES. >> I DON'T REMEMBER THE AUTHOR 31:22 WAS WHO SPOKE ABOUT THIS BUT EVERY TIME IF YOU THINK ABOUT A 31:27 BANK ACCOUNT LIKE YOU HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT AND EVERY TIME YOU 31:33 DO SOMETHING POSITIVE FOR SOMEONE YOU ARE DEPOSITING IN 31:37 THEIR ACCOUNT AND THAT YOU ARE DEPOSITING INTO THEIR ACCOUNT 31:45 MAY BE WORDS OF AFFIRMATION OR ACTS OF SERVICE BUT WHEN YOU DO 31:50 SOMETHING FOR THAT PERSON THAT BANK ACCOUNT AND EMOTIONAL BANK 31:54 ACCOUNT START STARTS FILLING UP BUT I GUARANTEE YOU ONE THING 31:57 THAT I HAVE REALLY WATCHED AND PEOPLE CAN DO GOOD THINGS AND IT 32:02 CAN FILL UP THEIR BANK ACCOUNT BUT IF YOU DO SOMETHING NEGATIVE 32:08 THAT TAKES AWAY A FISTFUL OF STUFF ALL AT ONCE. 32:11 ALL THE GOOD THINGS. THE NEGATIVE IS A MUCH MORE 32:17 IMPACTFUL THAN IF SOMEBODY LIKE YOU SAID IT WITH YOUR CHILDREN 32:23 IF CHILDREN ARE ONLY CRITICIZED OR CONDEMNED FOR THEIR ERRORS IF 32:27 YOU ARE NOT AFFIRMING THEM AND YOU'RE NOT DOING SOMETHING GOOD 32:31 FOR THEM KIDS TO GET HER A REALLY REBELLIOUS. 32:34 THEY GET TO THE POINT OF I CAN'T PLEASE MOM AND DAD ANYWAY WHO 32:42 CARES. >> ARE NEVER TELLING JAMES THAT 32:44 COMMUNICATION, VERBAL COMMUNICATION IS THE BEST KIND 32:46 OF FOREPLAY. AND SO FOR A MAN TO UNDERSTAND. 32:54 >> THAT'S MOTIVATION. >> ANOTHER THING IS THAT WE HAVE 33:03 DONE THAT HAS BEEN SIGNIFICANT IS THAT I WILL OPEN UP WHICH IS 33:05 BEEN A HARD THING FOR ME TOO DO OVER THE YEARS I DO IT MORE AND 33:08 MORE NOW BUT IN THE PAST I HAVE NOT AND SHE WAS SAY THANK YOU 33:10 FOR SHARING THAT WITH ME EVEN THOUGH MAYBE SHE WAS HARD OR SHE 33:14 HURT OR WHATEVER BUT THANK YOU OPEN UP AND SHARING AND THAT 33:17 REAFFIRMS THAT THIS WAS A THING THAT IT'S A DEAL. 33:25 INTERESTING. HOW SMALL HOW LITTLE THOSE 33:32 WEDGES -- THE THINGS THAT DEVELOP INTO ARGUMENTS HOW 33:36 LITTLE IT STARTS WITH JUST A SMALL THING AND HOW LITTLE 33:40 THINGS SUCH AS SMALL THINGS CAN MAKE SUCH A HUGE DIFFERENT AND 33:45 IT RECONCILE YOU. WE THINK IT'S THE BIG THINGS BUT 33:47 MANY TIMES IT'S JUST A LITTLE THINGS. 33:50 >> TELL US ABOUT RESPECT. OF GOING TO EMPATHY, 33:56 ASSERTIVENESS, AND NOW RESPECT. LET'S GET THE HOLE PICTURE. 34:02 >> RESPECT IS THE THING THAT BREAKS DOWN IN THE COURSE OF 34:10 EMPATHY AND ASSERTIVENESS. I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOU BUT 34:13 TELL US ABOUT RESPECT. AND I AM YOU KNOW SAYING I DON'T 34:16 WANT TO GET TO RESPECT RIGHT NOW. 34:19 NOPE I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW I HAE SOMETHING ELSE 34:22 I WANT TO DO. AND SO THE DISCOURSE MY VOICE 34:27 RAISES AND THEN YOU SAY WAIT A MINUTE I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT 34:31 IT'S KIND OF LIKE WHEN WE ARGUE ABOUT THESE THINGS AT THE VOICE 34:37 IS RAISED WE BECOME DISRESPECTFUL AND DISRESPECT IS 34:40 PROBABLY THE ULTIMATE REVELATION THAT THE CONVERSATION HAS LACKED 34:45 EMPATHY AND ASSERTIVENESS. WE ACTUALLY START ACTING AND 34:48 TALKING AND RELATING IN WAYS THAT ARE DISTANCING AND HURTING. 34:53 COULD JOB AND HIS FRIENDS DID THAT IN JOB GOT INTO IT AS WELL 34:57 HE WAS DISRESPECTFUL TO HIS FRIENDS. 35:00 IF YOU CALL SOMEONE WORTHLESS POSITION THEY HAVE BEEN TO 35:04 SCHOOL EIGHT YEARS OR MISERABLE COMFORTERS THEY SAT WITH YOU FOR 35:08 A WEEK. SO JOB OF HIS RELATIONAL EQUITY 35:15 OR -- SO JOB WAS LOSING HIS RECREATIONAL EQUITY OR BANK 35:21 ACCOUNT WITH HIS FRIENDS AND HE REMEMBERS THAT WHEN GOD CAME HE 35:24 WAS LIKE YES AND HE STARTED PRAYING FOR HIS FRIENDS AND 35:27 THAT'S ONE OF THE KEY THINGS YOU CAN DO TO GET US BACK ON TRACK 35:31 BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO MISTREAT SOMEONE AND BE DISRESPECTFUL TO 35:34 SOMEONE THAT YOU ARE PRAYING FOR BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SEE THE 35:38 PRAYERS ANSWERED AND IT STARTS RIGHT THERE. 35:44 >> THIS CAN COME FROM TWO DIFFERENT SCHOOLS OBVIOUSLY WE 35:48 ARE AT IMPASSE AND SO I FIND MYSELF SAYING LET'S JUST AGREE 35:53 TO DISAGREE. WHY DON'T YOU PRAY FOR ME AND 35:55 I'LL PRAY FOR YOU AND JUST IT'S AMAZING HOW THAT WORKS. 36:01 IF THEY HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND THEY GOT UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF 36:06 THE BED THEN NOPE LET'S GET BACK IN THE MIDDLE. 36:08 BUT THAT RARELY HAPPENS. MOST PEOPLE THEY DO WANT TO COME 36:13 TO SOME TYPE OF AGREEMENT EVEN IF THEY DISAGREE. 36:17 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS. THAT'S OR TALKING ABOUT HERE. 36:21 >> WHAT IF WHEN IT YOU HAD THAT CONVERSATION ON THE PHONE THAT 36:24 YOU TALKED ABOUT WHEN YOU ARE KIND OF CONDESCENDING AND WHAT 36:29 IF INSTEAD SHELLEY COMMUNICATED TO YOU SOMETHING LIKE A JD, I 36:32 SEE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING BUT YOU THINK THIS THIS THIS AND I CAN 36:36 SEE WHY YOU WOULD COME TO THAT CONCLUSION HAVE YOU CONSIDERED 36:41 THIS? THIS IS ANOTHER THOUGHT AND SO 36:43 YOU KNOW IT WON'T WORK THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT MORE 36:48 RESPECTFUL BECAUSE SHE IS VALIDATING THAT YOU THOUGHT IT'S 36:51 THROUGH YOUR PERSPECTIVE AND SO WHEN I TRY TO SEE THINGS FROM 36:55 JAMES' PERSPECTIVE RATHER THAN IMMEDIATELY DEFENDING MYSELF FOR 36:59 SAYING NO THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED THEN I AM ENTERING INTO 37:04 A RESPECTFUL VIDEO BECAUSE I AM VALIDATING THIS THOUGHT PROCESS. 37:08 >> AND YOU'RE LEARNING MORE ABOUT EACH OTHER MAYBE HOW TO 37:11 APPROACH THINGS DIFFERENTLY OR SAY IT DIFFERENTLY. 37:18 THESE ARE THINGS TO GET ALL WORK ON. 37:22 >> A JD HAS A GREAT LINE THAT HE HAS TAUGHT ME AND I'M USING IT 37:27 WHEN SOMEONE COMES TO HIM IN AN ARGUMENTATIVE FASHION AND THEY 37:34 HAVE THEY HAVE TO SAY AND THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE AND 37:39 THEY WANT HIS OPINION A LOT OF TIMES YOU SAY WE JUST DON'T HAVE 37:44 ENOUGH INFORMATION YET. AND THAT IS FINE WITH PEOPLE 37:48 BECAUSE THEY REALIZE THAT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION 37:52 AND IT IS RESPECTFUL THAT THEY ASK THE OPINION AND IT'S JUST I 37:58 DON'T KNOW WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION YET AND HE JUST 38:03 EXTRACTED THEM FROM THIS QUICK SAND THAT THEY'RE TRYING TO DRAW 38:06 HIM INTO. IT'S INTERESTING. 38:09 >> AND I SEE THAT. I SEE THAT IN THE BOOK. 38:14 HERE'S ANOTHER BIBLICAL I THINK YOU KNOW HOW WE CAN MAINTAIN THE 38:19 LAW IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE WE HAVE MAYBE THIS POTENTIAL FOR 38:24 MAJOR BREAKOUT AND SO DANIEL CHAPTER ONE, DANIEL IS IN 38:28 BABYLON AND HE HAS BEEN GIVEN A PORTION OF THE KINGS FOOD AND 38:32 THE KING'S STRENGTHS AND HE PURPOSE IS IN HIS HEART THAT HE 38:36 CAN'T DO THAT'S. IT'S CONSCIENTIOUS THAT HE CAN'T 38:38 DO THIS HE CAN'T TAKE THIS TO TRISH BABYLON AND SO HE TELL US 38:44 MEL CZAR, AND THE BELLS ARE AND DANIEL HAD A LOVING 38:48 RELATIONSHIP. AND THE LOVING RELATIONSHIP BUT 38:51 GUESS WHAT, THEY COMPLETELY DISAGREE ABOUT THIS ISSUE. 38:55 THEY COMPLETELY DISAGREE AND NOW WE HAVE OUR READINGS WITH THE 38:59 ANNUAL AND YOU WILL GET SICK IF YOU DON'T EAT THIS FOOD IT WILL 39:02 MAKE YOU SICK. AND YOU WILL ENDANGER MY LIFE 39:07 FOR THE KING. UP MY LIFE IS AT RISK HERE IF 39:09 YOU DON'T EAT THIS FOOD AND YOU WILL GET SICK. 39:11 CAN END UP BUT THE LOVING RELATIONSHIP PREVAILS. 39:16 IT HAS EMPATHY WITH AND IT HAS ASSERTIVENESS DANIEL SAYS WELL, 39:21 HOW ABOUT TRYING THIS FOR TEN DAYS. 39:28 BY THE WAY, HE SAYS, ALL YOUR OTHER FRIENDS AREN'T DOING THIS 39:31 TO LOOK AT ALL THESE OTHER GUYS EATING THIS FOOD. 39:34 YOUR HOLE CHURCH IS DOING THIS YOU SHOULD DO IT TOO AND HE SAYS 39:39 TIME FOR TEN DAYS AND SHE COMES AND NO RESPECT MALLS ARE AND 39:44 MALLS ARE RESPECTED DANIEL AND THE REASON I THOUGHT OF THIS IS 39:49 BECAUSE DD WAS SOMETIMES SICK. >> LET'S SEE IF THIS WORKS. 39:58 SURE ENOUGH HE PROVES HIMSELF IS FOLLOWING GOD HE IS COMPLETELY 40:05 SURRENDER TO GOD HE WANTS TO DO THINGS GOD'S WAY AND GOD BLESS 40:11 IS THAT. OF COURSE WE KNOW THE REST OF 40:13 THE STORY AND THAT TEST CAME BEFORE ANY OF THE OTHER WHATEVER 40:19 IT WAS. SO A LOT OF TIMES WE ARE LINKED 40:23 TO THESE LOVING RELATIONSHIPS. THIS WAS EVEN PART OF DANIEL'S 40:29 LITTLE CHURCH. COMPLETELY OUT HERE. 40:32 THE CAPTAIN OF THE KING'S GUARD ET CETERA. 40:34 HE WAS IN A GOVERNMENTAL POSITION AND HE COULD HAVE JUST 40:36 COME DOWN TO BABYLON BUT HE HAD A LOVING RELATIONSHIP. 40:40 AND DANIEL MUST'VE HAD A LOVING ATTITUDE TOWARD HIM FOR THAT 40:44 RELATIONSHIP TO DEVELOP. SO JUST BECAUSE WE ARE FROM 40:47 DIFFERENT CULTURES OR DIFFERENT LEVELS OF GOVERNMENT VERSUS 40:50 RELIGION WE CAN STILL HAVE A LOVING RELATIONSHIP THAT CAN 40:58 FOSTER EMPATHY AND RESPECT. >> EVEN DIFFERENT POLITICAL 41:02 PARTIES? >> ABSOLUTELY. 41:05 >> THE NEXT POINT THAT WE WANT TO GET TO BEFORE THE TIME RUNS 41:08 OUT IS THAT THERE ARE ANOTHER GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO WERE 41:15 DIFFERENTIATED THOSE WHO HAVE INCREASED AND IMPROVE THEIR 41:19 TALENT AND THOSE WHO DID NOT APPEAR AND I THINK THAT HAS A 41:24 LOT TO DO WITH RELATIONSHIPS FISHERMEN TO BE HER FIRST 41:28 CORINTHIANS 12 IN WHICH THERE ARE GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT. 41:37 AND I WAS THINK ABOUT HOW YOUR TALK ABOUT EXPECTATIONS AND THAT 41:41 THERE ARE DEFINITELY PEOPLE WHO HAVE RECEIVED MORE TALENT THAN 41:45 ANOTHER AND THERE MAY BE AS WOMEN WE HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS 41:48 OF WHAT WON WANT THE HUSBAND MAY BE WE AND EDUCATED AND A GOOD 41:55 PROVIDER. AND GOOD AND ATHLETIC AND 41:59 ADVENTURESOME AND ROMANTIC WE WANT THEM TO HAVE ALL THESE 42:01 TALENTS IN ONE MAN AND YES THERE ARE TALENTED MEN OUT THERE AND 42:08 IF ALL THOSE ARE SUPER IMPORTANT THE NEW YOU BETTER MARRY A FIVE 42:12 TALENT MAN BUT WITHIN A RELATIONSHIP I WAS THINKING HOW 42:16 IMPORTANT IT IS THAT WE BRING OUR TALENTS. 42:23 TALENTS USED ARE TALENTS THAT ARE INCREASED AND PROFITS AND 42:26 THOSE ARE THE WORDS USED IN THAT PARABLE IS AND THOSE OF THE 42:28 WORDS USED IN POWER BELL. AND IF I WANT TO GROW IT IS AN 42:33 INVESTMENT BUT IF I WANT TO GROW AND EXPERIENCE INCREASE IN MY 42:36 RELATIONSHIP THAN I WILL BRING THE TALENT THAT GOD INTO 42:42 MINISTERING TO MY HUSBAND. YOU HEARD OF THE COBBLER'S 42:47 CHILDREN DON'T HAVE SHOES OR THE CARPENTER'S HOME IS NEVER DONE 42:50 BECAUSE WE ARE DOING SO GOOD OUT THERE BUT WHAT ABOUT IN THE 42:54 HOME? WHAT IF I BRING MY BEST, THE 42:57 BEST OF MY TALENT INTO MINISTERING TO THAT PERSON? 43:00 OR TO MAKE IT THERE WOULD WHATEVER AND THEN THERE WILL BE 43:32 >> I THINK THERE WILL BE INTIMACY IS THE END GOAL. 43:42 >> IF IS THEY COULD JUST LISTEN TO THESE TOOLS THEY COULD BUILD 43:46 OFF OF THIS. HOW MANY YEARS BUT THEY DO ELSE 43:54 POSITIVE MAYBE IF THEY WAIT THEY COULD FIND OUT THAT THEY HAVE A 44:23 FIVE TALENTED HUSBAND. THIS IS A STUFF. 44:30 >> LET'S TAKE THIS INTO THE PARABLE, YOU REMEMBER THE SERVER 44:36 THAT HAD ONE TALENT AND WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT? 44:39 >> BURIED IT. >> IT WAS NEVER DISCOVERED, 44:41 NEVER USED, WHY DID HE BURY IT? >> HE BURIED IT BECAUSE HE HAD A 44:47 MISUNDERSTANDING WITH GOD'S CHARACTER. 44:52 >> IF WE COME ACROSS AS A HARD PERSON WE CAN BECAUSE PEOPLE TO 44:55 BEAR THEIR TALENTS. THE WAY PEOPLE SEE GOD IS 45:07 THROUGH US AND THEREFORE TALENTS ARE BURIED BECAUSE OF THE WAY 45:10 THAT WE ARE PROJECTING THE CHARACTER OF GOD. 45:12 WE AS CHRISTIANS HAVE A HUGE APPLICATION TO THIS WORLD TO 45:16 REVEAL WHAT GOD IS REALLY LIKE AND TO HELP PEOPLE ON EARTH 45:20 THOSE TALENTS THAT THEY ARE BURYING AND USE THEM AND LET 45:23 THEM GROW AND BE MULTIPLIED. >> I REMEMBER MY SISTER IN TEXAS 45:34 AND I HEARD HER ON THE PHONE WITH HER HUSBAND AND SHE SAID 45:39 YOU OUGHT TO HEAR THIS IT'S HONEY WOULD YOU PLEASE HONEY 45:44 THIS THANK YOU THIS AND SHE SAID IT IS DISGUSTING. 45:47 SHE SAID THEY ARE MORE POLITE TO EACH OTHER THAN THEY WOULD BE TO 45:51 A STRANGER. SO WHEN SHE CAME OUT I SAID, 45:55 DON'T THINK YOU OUGHT TO BE? ISN'T IT SUPPOSED TO BE THE 46:00 PLACE WHERE YOU FIND THE MOST COMFORT? 46:03 WELL COUPLE NIGHTS LATER I HEARD HER ON THE PHONE WITH HER 46:06 HUSBAND AND SHE SAID HONEY WE ARE TO GIVE THIS A TRY. 46:14 BUT THE POINT I'M MAKING IS THAT OUR HOME SHOULD BE A REFLECTION 46:19 OF THE LOVE OF GOD. THERE IS NO COMPETITION AMONGST 46:29 THEM THERE IS NO KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT AND IF I CAN'T BE MORE 46:33 POLITE TO MY HUSBAND AND I WOULD BE TO A STRANGER THAN SOMETHING 46:39 IT IS WRONG. >> IT'S A BEAUTIFUL BIBLICAL 46:41 PICTURE THAT WE FIND EVERYWHERE WE EVEN FIND IN ABOUT THE SHEEP 46:45 IN THE GOAT. YES THE SHEEP AND THE GOAT. 46:50 WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES THAT SEPARATE THE SHEEP FROM THE 46:55 GOAT? MATTHEW 25 WHAT ARE THE 47:00 QUALITIES THAT DIFFERENTIATE IT SHEEP AND THE GOAT? 47:05 >> THERE ARE THE TEN VIRGINS THAN THE TALENTS OF THE SERVANT 47:08 AND ANOTHER IS THE SHEEP IN THE GOAT AND EVERY TIME THE THEME IS 47:13 THE SAME IN ALL THIS BUILT OF MATTHEW 24 WHICH TALKS ABOUT 47:17 WHAT WE'RE REALLY COUNT AT THE END OF TIME WHEN ALL THESE 47:19 THINGS HAPPEN AND WE THINK WHAT WILL COUNT LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENING 47:24 IN THE FORM OF THIS PROPHECY BUT THAT IS A REVELATION OVER 47:28 MATTHEW 25 AND WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. 47:32 >> YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT WHAT HIGHLIGHTED THE SERVANT THAT 47:37 DIDN'T USE HIS TALENT BUT JESUS ALSO SAID HE WAS LAZY AND SO YOU 47:42 ARE SAYING SOME MEN MIGHT BE GOING LIKE THAT SOUND LIKE TOO 47:44 MUCH WORK BUT MARRIAGE IS AN INVESTMENT. 47:48 YOU ARE MAKING AN INVESTMENT AND IS WORK THAT LAZINESS CAN COST 48:03 YOU. >> WHEN YOU ASKED WHAT SEPARATES 48:05 THE SHEEP AND THE GOAT WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT TO SAY THIS 48:08 BUT WHAT SEPARATES THE SHEEP AND THE GOATS IS JESUS TELLING THEM 48:14 I WAS HUNGRY GAVE ME FOOD I WAS THIRSTY GAVE ME DRINK AND A SO 48:19 THAT SHE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE HELPING TO TAKE CARE OF THE 48:23 OTHER. >> IN RELATIONSHIP. 48:26 >> AND THE GOATS ARE WHO ARE THE TAKERS. 48:30 >> THE LEECHES. >> THEY ARE SUCKING UP ALL THE 48:35 SPIRIT. THEY ARE NOT GIVERS. 48:39 >> WHEN I THINK JESUS COMES TO THEM AND THEY SAY YOU ARE 48:42 BLESSED BECAUSE YOU DID THESE THINGS AND THEY ARE LIKE WHEN 48:44 DID WE DO THEM BECAUSE THAT'S JUST HOW THEY DID A LIFE. 48:48 GET WHO THEY WERE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS IT'S NOT LIKE OKAY 48:51 IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY AND SO THIS IS HOW WE DO LIFE I WILL 48:56 CONSISTENTLY MINISTER TO THE PEOPLE WHO I DRAW CLOSE TO YOU 48:58 AND SO I THINK THAT JESUS IS ASKING OF US TO DRAW CLOSE TO 49:03 EACH THOSE WHO FULFILL JESUS' PRAYER WHAT AN INCREDIBLE 49:08 OPPORTUNITY WE HAVE ACTUALLY TO ANSWERS JESUS PRAYER FOR UNITY. 49:12 WERE ALWAYS ASKING HIM TO ANSWER OUR PRAYERS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 49:15 WE HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO ANSWER HIS PRAYER THAT WE WOULD BE ONE 49:19 AND HOW IS THAT ACCOMPLISHED? IF I AM DAILY CONSISTENTLY 49:24 MINISTERING TO THE NEED OF MY FELLOW MAN AND DRAWING CLOSE TO 49:26 THEM AS I SEE -- TO THEM AS I SIT THOSE NEEDS THAT'S HOW DO 49:33 LIFE. I MINISTER TO PEOPLE AND AN 49:37 OUTWARD FACING IN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HUSBAND, 49:40 IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT ME MYSELF I AND MY NEEDS AND IF HE IS 49:44 OUTWARD FACING IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT HIMSELF AND HIS NEEDS THAT 49:47 WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL INTERCHANGE AND THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE 49:49 DON'T ADDRESS OUR NEEDS BUT YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING. 49:53 >> YOU ARE TRYING TO IMPROVE EAR NEEDS TO ME THAT'S WHAT I SAY. 49:59 THAT TO BEING HEALTHY. >> AND THIS IS NOT NATURAL, THIS 50:04 IS NOT WHAT WE TENDED TOWARD NATURALLY AS HUMAN BEINGS WE ARE 50:08 BROKE AND WE ARE FOLLOWING WERE DYSFUNCTIONAL AND SO WE HAVE 50:11 BEEN MARRIED FOR 32 YEARS WE JUST CELEBRATED OUR 32nd 50:15 WEDDING ANNIVERSARY AND WE HAD DONE PROGRAMS HERE ARE THREE ABN 50:18 ON RELATIONSHIPS AMIRA GO AND SO YOU KNOW A LITTLE BIT OF OUR 50:21 JOURNEY THAT WE HAVE GONE THROUGH AND IT IS NOT NATURAL 50:25 FOR US TO FORGIVE AND RECONCILE AND TALK AND GIVE-AND-TAKE AND 50:30 SOMETIMES AGAIN GET INTO A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP JUST LIKE 50:32 WE GET INTO A WORKING RELATIONSHIP WHAT CAN I GET OUT 50:35 OF THIS AND HOW LITTLE CAN I GIVE AND HOW MUCH CAN I GET I 50:40 CANNOT WAIT UNTIL I RETIRE, I CANNOT WAIT BUT CHRISTIAN 50:44 MINISTRY IS COMPLETELY JUST WORKING AND GIVING AND WHAT DOES 50:52 IT LOOK LIKE TO STOP DOING THAT. >> IT LOOKS LIKE LIFE. 50:57 THAT'S THE WAY WERE BUILT AS CHRISTIANS THAT'S WHY CHRIST WAS 51:01 BUILT SO WENT BY WIFE SAYS THEY'RE JUST DOING WHAT THEY DO 51:03 YOU THAT'S WHAT THEY DO IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE MAKING A SPECIAL 51:07 SIGNIFICANT EFFORT BUT AT TIMES WE SURRENDERS LIKE GIVING TO GOD 51:15 WHATEVER IT IS THAT IS CAUSING THIS AND THEN IF WE DO THAT A 51:19 LOT OF TIMES ARE GETTING THE WRONG AREA AND WERE FOCUSING ON 51:22 WHAT WE NEED TO DO WE NEED TO FOCUS ON THE SURRENDER TO GOD 51:24 AND IF WE DO THAT THEN THE FRUIT COMES OUT AND THEN WE SEE THE 51:30 RESULT. AS YOU SAID OVER AND OVER AGAIN 51:33 WE ARE SURRENDERING INTO OUR COVENANT KEEPING GOD. 51:36 HE'S THE ONE KEEPING THE COVENANT HE'S THE ONE DOING THE 51:38 WORK ON US HE'S THE ONE WORKING THIS OUT. 51:42 OUR JOB IS TO I ASKED GOD FOR A NEW DEFINITION TO SURRENDER 51:48 BECAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT SURRENDER IS AND 51:51 I TRIED FOR YEARS TO TELL HIM WHAT IT WAS AND IT DID NOT 51:55 REALLY REGISTER. AND SO GOD GAVE ME THREE STEPS 51:59 NUMBER ONE, WE HAVE TO KNOW GOD. TO SURRENDER YOU HAVE TO TELL 52:04 HIM. YOU HAVE TO KNOW HIM AS A GOD OF 52:06 LOVE BUT ALSO NUMBER TWO IT IS STOP AND SUBMIT. 52:12 STOP RESISTING HIS LOVE AND SUBMIT. 52:17 YOU NEED TO LINE UP UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF GOD. 52:23 AND THE THIRD STEP IS A YIELD TO THE LEADING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT 52:30 SURRENDER IS NOT DIFFICULT. IF WE FOLLOW THE SPIRIT HE WILL 52:37 WORK INTO GOD'S GOOD PLEASURE BUT QUICKLY BECAUSE WE ONLY HAVE 52:41 A FEW MINUTES LEFT, LET ME ASK YOU THIS QUESTION, IT YOU ARE 52:48 READING THESE BOOKS YOU HAVE A LIST HERE THAT WE HAVE TALKED 52:51 ABOUT BUT DO YOU SIT DOWN AND READ THEM TOGETHER? 52:56 SOMEONE OUT HERE IS GOING ON I WANT MY MARRIAGE TO GO I WANT TO 53:02 MAKE THE INVESTMENT BUT HOW DO YOU COME TO THIS DO SIT DOWN AND 53:04 READ TO THE CHAPTER TOGETHER? DO YOU READ APART? 53:08 WHAT YOU DO? >> TO ME I NEED MY OWN COPY I 53:12 HAVE TO MARKET UP AND WRITE AND SO IT WORKS FOR US MOST OF THE 53:14 TIME IS THAT SHE GETS A COPY AND I GET A COPY BUT I DON'T KNOW 53:18 HOW MANY WE HAVE READ TOGETHER BUT I THINK MOST OF THE TIME 53:22 IT'S MY COPY IN HER COPY AND OR LIKE WE HAD ONE BOOK AT TIMES 53:27 THAT I'M READING AND I'M SHARING WITH HER AND SHE HAS A BOOK THAT 53:29 SHE SHARED WITH ME BUT IT DEPENDS UPON THE COUPLE AND WHAT 53:33 WORKS. >> BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS EVEN 53:34 IF YOU HAVE YOUR OWN COPY DO SIT DOWN AND CHAPTER BY CHAPTER 53:38 TOGETHER OR DO YOU JUST READ IT SEPARATELY AND COME TOGETHER. 53:41 >> THERE'S A BOOK RIGHT NOW THAT WE READ TOGETHER AND WE DON'T 53:43 SEE IT EVERY NIGHT BUT BEFORE YOU GET THE BETTER WERE LIKE 53:46 OKAY LET'S READ A STORY AND IT'S ONE BOOK AT SOMEONE SAID TO US 53:51 AND IT WAS ON LOVE IS A VERB I THINK IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT 53:54 IT'S A LOVE STORY OF PEOPLE WHO MAY BE A CHALLENGING CHALLENGING 53:59 EXPERIENCE AND HOW THEY MANIFESTED MANIFESTED IT GODLY 54:02 QUALITIES THAT CAME OUT OF IT AND THEY ARE CLOSER AND STRONGER 54:05 AND MORE INTIMATE AND DO THAT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED WE READ 54:10 THAT CHAPTER AND SOMETIMES WE DRIVE IN CARS IN CALIFORNIA TO 54:13 OREGON AND WE READ THE EA OUR BOOK WE DO THAT. 54:21 IT'S NOT FORMAL IN TERMS OF IT'S ALWAYS ONE WAY BUT WE DO FIND 54:25 WAYS OF READING IT TOGETHER AND SHARING THOUGHTS AND DISCUSSING 54:32 IT. >> EVERYBODY WANTS THAT SWEET 54:37 FRUIT. THE FRUIT IS NOW THAT YOU ARE 54:39 GETTING TO SHARE WHAT YOU ARE STUDYING WITH OTHERS. 54:43 AND THIS WILL BE A VERY BLESSED TIME. 54:47 THE SABBATH. BECAUSE YOU CAN GET TO GO OVER 54:49 SOME OF THE STUFF AND ASK IT. >> I WANTED TO SHARE WITH THE 54:58 RECEIPT OUTLINED ON THE 23rd BIBLICAL FUNDAMENTAL BELIEF AND 55:02 THAT'S WERE GOING THROUGH WE WILL SHARE THE BELIEF THAT SHE 55:04 SAID SO DO YOU WANT ME THERE? AND I SAID NOPE I WANT YOU TO 55:08 FILL IN I WANT YOU TO CONNECT THE DOTS I WANT US TO TALK ABOUT 55:12 SOME OF THE STUFF SO WE CAN SHARE THE VERSUS AND THEN PUT. 55:18 >> QUICK WE HAVE ONE MINUTE QUICK FINAL THOUGHT. 55:24 >> IT SO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT GOD IS AUTHOR OF MARRIAGE 55:27 AND THAT WHEN WE ARE LOOKING FOR RELATIONSHIPS AND WE ARE LOOKING 55:31 TO GROW AND IMPROVE THEM THAT WE TURN TO HIM HE HAS EVERYTHING WE 55:34 NEED TO MAKE IT THE BEAUTIFUL THING THAT HE DESIGNED FOR IT TO 55:41 BE. >> I WAS THINKING ABOUT JOSEPH 55:44 WHO WENT THROUGH SOME TRAUMA JUST AS A LOT OF US HAVE DONE 55:51 OUR LIVES WITH DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS BUT BEFORE 55:54 HIS BROTHERS CAME BACK INTO HIS PRESIDENCY HE FORGAVE THEM AND 55:58 SO I DON'T THINK THINK FORGIVENESS AND WORK INTO OUR 56:01 PAST OUR DIFFICULTIES IS INCUMBENT ON THE 56:06 INTERRELATIONSHIP OF THE OTHER PERSON. 56:08 WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT GOD CAN HEAL US AND CAUSE US TO FORGIVE 56:13 PEOPLE EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT IN OUR PRESENCE THAT DOESN'T MEAN 56:16 WE DON'T TEST THAT RELATIONSHIP. JOSEPH TESTED HIS BROTHERS BUT 56:19 WE DO NEED THIS FORGIVE US IN THIS RECONCILIATION THAT COMES 56:23 DIRECTLY FROM GOD TO THE PEOPLE EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT IN OUR 56:29 SPACE. >> THANK YOU FROM SHARING FROM 56:31 YOUR HEARTS AND YOUR EXPERIENCE THE WONDERFUL BOOKS THAT YOU 56:34 READ AND DO REMEMBER FOR YOU AT HOME, WE ARE CREATED IN GOD'S 56:39 IMAGE, GOD IS LOVE AND HE IS TRYING, THE HOLY SPIRIT ROMANS 56:45 55 HE POURED HIS LOVE INTO OUR HEART LIKE A THAT IS WHY WE NEED 56:52 TO SURRENDER AND FOLLOW OUR LORD AND THEN OUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL 56:56 BE GROWING. OUR PRAYER FOR YOU IS THAT THE 56:58 GRACE OF THE LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST TO THE LEVEL OF THE 57:01 FATHER AND THE SUN AND THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL BE WITH YOU. 57:05 >> GOD BLESS YOU. |
Revised 2021-09-18