Wow, that first
hour went by in a hurry.
00:00:10.97\00:00:12.57
Welcome back.
00:00:12.61\00:00:13.94
This is our special
Thursday night live program,
00:00:13.98\00:00:15.91
a two hour program on
family, marriage, relationships,
00:00:15.94\00:00:20.45
and that we have with us,
00:00:20.48\00:00:21.82
Pastor Steve Conway
and his wife, Tammy.
00:00:21.85\00:00:24.42
It's a blessing to
have both of you here.
00:00:24.45\00:00:25.99
Thank you for making
the trip down from Michigan.
00:00:26.02\00:00:29.26
You're the pastor at the...
00:00:29.29\00:00:30.93
Is it the North? You have the...
00:00:30.96\00:00:32.29
The Detroit Northwest.
00:00:32.33\00:00:33.66
Good job. Yes.
00:00:33.70\00:00:35.03
You are pastor there.
00:00:35.06\00:00:36.40
And then pastor at that
church for how many years?
00:00:36.43\00:00:38.57
Eight years. Eight years.
00:00:38.60\00:00:39.93
Yeah, it was quite a few years.
00:00:39.97\00:00:41.30
And both of you travel
in the Michigan Conference
00:00:41.34\00:00:43.24
may be outside too.
00:00:43.27\00:00:44.61
We're going to put up
your contact information,
00:00:44.64\00:00:46.27
but you do marriage
seminars, family seminars,
00:00:46.31\00:00:49.11
and what a
blessing you've been to us.
00:00:49.14\00:00:50.98
And I hope you at
home as well this evening.
00:00:51.01\00:00:54.25
And we've been mentioning
questions and comments
00:00:54.28\00:00:56.08
coming in.
00:00:56.12\00:00:57.45
We have some already
that we're going to get to
00:00:57.49\00:00:58.82
in a little bit.
00:00:58.85\00:01:00.19
We have some that
have already come in,
00:01:00.22\00:01:01.56
but we encourage you to give
us a call at (618) 627-4651.
00:01:01.59\00:01:07.66
The call center is open tonight.
00:01:07.70\00:01:09.03
So that's (618) 627-4651.
00:01:09.06\00:01:12.03
Or you can always
email us at live@3abn.tv.
00:01:12.07\00:01:18.37
That's live@3abn.tv.
00:01:18.41\00:01:20.98
If you have prayer
needs for your relationships,
00:01:21.01\00:01:23.68
if you have questions
00:01:23.71\00:01:26.18
let's hit one
question off the gate
00:01:26.21\00:01:27.62
and then we'll switch.
00:01:27.65\00:01:30.32
This is from Nicole
and she's from Canada.
00:01:30.35\00:01:32.79
What has changed
00:01:32.82\00:01:34.16
from your first
year of marriage to now?
00:01:34.19\00:01:36.42
What is the spark
00:01:36.46\00:01:37.79
that has kept
your marriage alive?
00:01:37.83\00:01:39.43
And you guys have
been married 18 years too.
00:01:39.46\00:01:41.00
Yes, yes.
00:01:41.03\00:01:43.00
That's a good question.
What would you say, Tamara?
00:01:43.03\00:01:45.30
Wow what has kept the spark?
00:01:45.33\00:01:48.77
What is the spark that
has kept your marriage?
00:01:48.80\00:01:52.01
Yeah, I think
the fact that we are,
00:01:52.04\00:01:53.84
we're friends,
00:01:53.88\00:01:55.21
like he's my best friend and...
00:01:55.24\00:01:58.38
You're my best
friend. I always love it.
00:01:58.41\00:01:59.81
Oh, that's nice.
00:01:59.85\00:02:02.48
Just so you know that
this was not rehearsed.
00:02:02.52\00:02:06.65
No, you know,
like we, we genuinely,
00:02:06.69\00:02:08.66
I genuinely would
not, I don't want to,
00:02:08.69\00:02:11.59
I love being around him.
00:02:11.63\00:02:13.70
We love
talking. We talk so much.
00:02:13.73\00:02:15.86
I mean, we talk
during the day, we talk,
00:02:15.90\00:02:18.13
you know, at
night we're in the bed,
00:02:18.17\00:02:19.50
we're talking, we're talking
when we're with the kids,
00:02:19.53\00:02:20.87
so we communicate so much.
00:02:20.90\00:02:23.67
And, I think that that's a spark
00:02:23.71\00:02:25.74
'cause you know, I
always, I always tell him
00:02:25.77\00:02:27.78
that I love
listening to him talk like,
00:02:27.81\00:02:29.81
I'm like, "Oh, I
love hearing him."
00:02:29.84\00:02:31.18
I think he's so smart.
00:02:31.21\00:02:32.55
But I love that about him.
00:02:32.58\00:02:34.48
And I would say
that's probably the thing
00:02:34.52\00:02:37.15
that keeps the spark alive,
00:02:37.19\00:02:38.55
that we
communicate so much and yeah.
00:02:38.59\00:02:41.12
And the key word that
you said is you are friends.
00:02:41.16\00:02:42.69
Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:42.72\00:02:44.39
And in order to
build a friendship,
00:02:44.43\00:02:46.39
that'd be some
type of communication
00:02:46.43\00:02:47.76
both ways.
00:02:47.80\00:02:49.13
Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:49.16\00:02:50.50
What about you, Pastor?
00:02:50.53\00:02:51.87
Yeah, I would say,
00:02:51.90\00:02:53.23
I would
definitely agree with Tamara,
00:02:53.27\00:02:54.60
the friendship and I
think just doing stuff.
00:02:54.64\00:02:58.97
Yeah.
00:02:59.01\00:03:00.34
Just doing stuff.
00:03:00.38\00:03:01.74
It doesn't have to be,
00:03:01.78\00:03:04.11
it doesn't have to be
anything grand, of course.
00:03:04.15\00:03:05.68
Yeah.
00:03:05.71\00:03:07.05
I love traveling with my wife
00:03:07.08\00:03:09.68
whenever we get the
opportunity to do that,
00:03:09.72\00:03:11.55
but we go to the
grocery store together
00:03:11.59\00:03:14.29
you know.
00:03:14.32\00:03:15.66
And while we're...
Somebody may say what?
00:03:15.69\00:03:17.76
Going grocery store together?
00:03:17.79\00:03:19.46
We go to the
grocery store together
00:03:19.49\00:03:21.10
and just walking
down the aisles again,
00:03:21.13\00:03:24.13
it's time for us
to talk and converse
00:03:24.17\00:03:27.30
and we're talking
about each other life
00:03:27.34\00:03:30.27
and the children
and so forth and so on,
00:03:30.31\00:03:33.17
we're spending time together.
00:03:33.21\00:03:34.54
Another thing we try to do
00:03:34.58\00:03:36.75
is actually two
more things we do.
00:03:36.78\00:03:40.22
One of them is we
try to have a date night.
00:03:40.25\00:03:41.88
Yeah.
00:03:41.92\00:03:43.25
So we counsel
and encourage people.
00:03:43.28\00:03:47.06
Of course, time is
important in any relationship,
00:03:47.09\00:03:49.39
but especially in a
marriage relationship,
00:03:49.42\00:03:51.63
make time, set
aside time for yourselves.
00:03:51.66\00:03:54.56
In fact, when we
first got married,
00:03:54.60\00:03:56.33
we lived in Tennessee.
00:03:56.36\00:03:57.70
We had our first born Israel
00:03:57.73\00:04:00.77
and we were not going to give up
00:04:00.80\00:04:02.40
our date night.
00:04:02.44\00:04:03.77
So we put him in a car seat
00:04:03.81\00:04:06.57
and brought him and
they had a little sling
00:04:06.61\00:04:08.44
in the restaurant
00:04:08.48\00:04:09.81
and he cried the whole time,
00:04:09.84\00:04:11.45
but we already
have our date night.
00:04:11.48\00:04:13.92
That's dedication. That's right.
00:04:13.95\00:04:15.95
And so, spending time
together, date nights,
00:04:15.98\00:04:20.82
and I think the other
thing I was going to say
00:04:20.86\00:04:24.13
is yeah, yeah.
00:04:24.16\00:04:25.53
We read, we read
together and this is,
00:04:25.56\00:04:28.86
this is a profound
principle that we believe in.
00:04:28.90\00:04:31.63
It's easier for us to
see someone else's fault
00:04:31.67\00:04:35.94
than it is for
us to see our own.
00:04:35.97\00:04:37.31
That's true.
00:04:37.34\00:04:38.67
And so we read together,
00:04:38.71\00:04:40.74
not just because
we want to learn,
00:04:40.78\00:04:43.11
obviously that's
an important reason,
00:04:43.14\00:04:45.78
but this is what happens
00:04:45.81\00:04:47.18
when we read something together,
00:04:47.22\00:04:48.55
I'll say, man,
this guy is crazy.
00:04:48.58\00:04:51.95
Can you believe what he did?
00:04:51.99\00:04:53.96
Man, I would never do anything.
00:04:53.99\00:04:56.46
Tamara, aren't you glad I
never do anything like that.
00:04:56.49\00:04:58.43
I've never done
anything like that, have I?
00:04:58.46\00:05:00.96
Tamara?
00:05:01.00\00:05:02.56
Well, you know, yeah,
you are like that, yeah.
00:05:02.60\00:05:05.73
You mean, I'm like that?
00:05:05.77\00:05:07.64
You gotta be
kidding. I'm not kidding you.
00:05:07.67\00:05:09.20
Tell me when was I like
that. You did just last night.
00:05:09.24\00:05:11.41
Oh, my.
00:05:11.44\00:05:13.64
Now, the crazy thing is...
00:05:13.68\00:05:16.14
Is that how you guys do?
00:05:16.18\00:05:17.51
That's how it goes. And
there will be complaints.
00:05:17.55\00:05:19.51
And sometimes
it's her, you know?
00:05:19.55\00:05:21.88
But most times it's him.
00:05:21.92\00:05:23.25
Yeah, it's me most of the times.
00:05:23.28\00:05:24.62
But sometimes,
00:05:24.65\00:05:26.12
and beautiful thing about that
00:05:26.15\00:05:28.56
is either Tamara or myself
00:05:28.59\00:05:31.13
has already identified
the ugliness of the behavior
00:05:31.16\00:05:35.26
and how foolish it is
and so forth and so on,
00:05:35.30\00:05:38.63
because we're not
looking at one another.
00:05:38.67\00:05:42.37
We're looking at
someone else, yeah.
00:05:42.40\00:05:43.74
So it's easy to
see it, to identify it,
00:05:43.77\00:05:45.57
to call it what it is.
00:05:45.61\00:05:47.28
And then we call
these teachable moments.
00:05:47.31\00:05:49.88
A teachable moment is created
00:05:49.91\00:05:52.05
because now I asked
her, am I like that?
00:05:52.08\00:05:57.45
I could never be like
that, but because I'm asking,
00:05:57.49\00:06:01.52
I'm giving her permission.
00:06:01.56\00:06:03.09
Right, right.
00:06:03.12\00:06:04.46
Instead of her
nagging or anything like that.
00:06:04.49\00:06:06.59
So this type of
truth filled communication,
00:06:06.63\00:06:12.03
this honesty,
these teachable moments,
00:06:12.07\00:06:15.27
they create a spark
for our relationship.
00:06:15.30\00:06:17.31
Because if we were to
try to have that conversation
00:06:17.34\00:06:19.87
about an ugly
behavior without this setting,
00:06:19.91\00:06:24.55
we would each be defensive.
00:06:24.58\00:06:25.91
Yeah.
00:06:25.95\00:06:27.28
Right and it would
probably turn ugly.
00:06:27.32\00:06:28.65
Yeah.
00:06:28.68\00:06:30.02
So this has been
an area of growth
00:06:30.05\00:06:32.05
and whatnot for us spending time
00:06:32.09\00:06:34.82
reading together
00:06:34.86\00:06:36.19
and, of course,
spending time together.
00:06:36.22\00:06:38.39
And, of course, being friends,
00:06:38.43\00:06:40.53
those are some of
the three of the sparks.
00:06:40.56\00:06:42.30
Yeah.
00:06:42.33\00:06:43.67
You know, you
told a powerful story
00:06:43.70\00:06:45.03
just before the break.
00:06:45.07\00:06:46.40
You were six year old and
you told that whole story.
00:06:46.43\00:06:48.17
You know, I'm thinking
also the power of the tongue,
00:06:48.20\00:06:50.81
that little girl, right?
00:06:50.84\00:06:52.77
Told you six years
old, a terrible thing.
00:06:52.81\00:06:54.68
Yes.
00:06:54.71\00:06:56.04
And you know, here, you
believe in this for years.
00:06:56.08\00:06:58.08
Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:06:58.11\00:06:59.45
So the power of the tongue
in any relationship, right?
00:06:59.48\00:07:02.45
Marriage, kids, church...
00:07:02.48\00:07:04.95
You know, whenever
he shares that story,
00:07:04.99\00:07:08.59
I can't help.
00:07:08.62\00:07:09.96
But even now in our world today,
00:07:09.99\00:07:12.79
that is so much more important
00:07:12.83\00:07:15.73
because there are people
00:07:15.76\00:07:17.37
who are
struggling with identity.
00:07:17.40\00:07:18.73
Yeah.
00:07:18.77\00:07:20.10
And we just automatically assume
00:07:20.14\00:07:22.04
the world just
says, you know what?
00:07:22.07\00:07:23.94
This is of course
you, this is who you are.
00:07:23.97\00:07:25.81
We don't know
what has been said.
00:07:25.84\00:07:28.41
What has been acted out,
00:07:28.44\00:07:29.94
what a person has
seen from childhood
00:07:29.98\00:07:32.85
that impairs or
impacts their identity.
00:07:32.88\00:07:35.52
And then they grow up as
a confused adult, you know?
00:07:35.55\00:07:38.72
And so that's just his story.
00:07:38.75\00:07:41.02
There's so many people
who have the same story
00:07:41.06\00:07:43.36
to a greater or lesser degree
00:07:43.39\00:07:44.76
who are struggling as
adults today with identity
00:07:44.79\00:07:48.30
because of the tongue,
00:07:48.33\00:07:49.66
you know, or
even for, as a parent
00:07:49.70\00:07:52.57
not affirming our
children in their identity
00:07:52.60\00:07:55.20
because we have to do that too.
00:07:55.24\00:07:57.07
You know, I have to,
we were telling my son
00:07:57.11\00:08:00.04
or we were
listening to this thing
00:08:00.08\00:08:01.41
and it was talking about,
00:08:01.44\00:08:02.78
it's important to let your sons,
00:08:02.81\00:08:04.15
your daughters know,
00:08:04.18\00:08:05.51
you know, you're a man,
you know, you're a young woman,
00:08:05.55\00:08:08.18
you know, it's my job as a mom
00:08:08.22\00:08:10.42
to give my
daughter her identity.
00:08:10.45\00:08:12.95
He is to get my son and
vice versa, you know, so...
00:08:12.99\00:08:16.02
To affirm their
God given identity.
00:08:16.06\00:08:17.43
Their God given identity.
00:08:17.46\00:08:18.79
Yeah, you know, I,
my heart just goes out
00:08:18.83\00:08:21.03
for anyone who's listening,
00:08:21.06\00:08:24.47
who grew up in a home
00:08:24.50\00:08:26.43
where their
parents called them stupid.
00:08:26.47\00:08:29.74
Yeah. Wow.
00:08:29.77\00:08:31.54
Said that they didn't,
00:08:31.57\00:08:32.91
that they wished
they were never born
00:08:32.94\00:08:35.44
or threatened them
or any number of things
00:08:35.48\00:08:39.48
and the profound impact
that that can have on a person.
00:08:39.51\00:08:44.35
It can be crippling.
00:08:44.39\00:08:46.22
It may not be
physically crippling,
00:08:46.25\00:08:47.99
but it can be
mentally, emotionally
00:08:48.02\00:08:50.36
and socially crippling.
00:08:50.39\00:08:52.09
And it can keep an individual
00:08:52.13\00:08:53.76
from becoming the man or woman
00:08:53.80\00:08:57.53
that God has created them to be.
00:08:57.57\00:08:59.47
So you've got someone
right now that's saying,
00:08:59.50\00:09:00.84
that's me.
00:09:00.87\00:09:02.20
Yeah. What do I do?
00:09:02.24\00:09:03.84
How do I get past that?
What would you tell them?
00:09:03.87\00:09:06.78
Yeah, I think
going back to something
00:09:06.81\00:09:08.18
that we said earlier,
00:09:08.21\00:09:09.94
and this is why, you
know, I was sharing with,
00:09:09.98\00:09:13.05
when Tamara said
00:09:13.08\00:09:14.62
that it's our responsibility
00:09:14.65\00:09:16.15
to give our
children their identity.
00:09:16.18\00:09:19.32
That's not the case.
00:09:19.35\00:09:21.19
Our parents don't
give us our identity.
00:09:21.22\00:09:24.33
They can merely affirm or
deny our God given identity.
00:09:24.36\00:09:29.06
That's good. So
it comes from God?
00:09:29.10\00:09:30.43
It comes from
God. It comes from God.
00:09:30.47\00:09:32.67
And this was for me
studying the life of Jesus,
00:09:32.70\00:09:36.97
realizing that one of
Jesus' greatest challenges
00:09:37.01\00:09:41.34
was in the area of His identity.
00:09:41.38\00:09:44.15
I believe that
Satan near the temptation
00:09:44.18\00:09:46.05
in the wilderness
brought his A game.
00:09:46.08\00:09:48.48
He brought his very best.
00:09:48.52\00:09:49.85
That's right. Yes, amen.
00:09:49.88\00:09:51.22
And when Jesus
was at His weakest,
00:09:51.25\00:09:53.72
Satan didn't come and say,
00:09:53.76\00:09:55.42
"Hey man, you want
to drink some liquor?
00:09:55.46\00:09:57.63
Hey man, you want
to smoke a cigarette."
00:09:57.66\00:09:58.99
Right. Nope.
00:09:59.03\00:10:00.36
He came and said, "If
thou be the Son of God."
00:10:00.40\00:10:04.40
Right.
00:10:04.43\00:10:05.77
We know Jesus had
just come from His baptism
00:10:05.80\00:10:09.40
in the Jordan.
00:10:09.44\00:10:10.77
And the first thing
that Satan challenged
00:10:10.81\00:10:12.61
is You're not who
Your Father says You are.
00:10:12.64\00:10:15.81
When Jesus came
up out of the water,
00:10:15.84\00:10:17.48
"This is My beloved Son
in whom I am well pleased.
00:10:17.51\00:10:21.22
And Satan
immediately challenges that.
00:10:21.25\00:10:23.18
Why?
00:10:23.22\00:10:24.55
Because that's his
best chance to defeat Jesus,
00:10:24.59\00:10:27.69
to cause Him to doubt
00:10:27.72\00:10:29.26
who is Creator or who
God says He is, right?
00:10:29.29\00:10:33.33
And so I think
00:10:33.36\00:10:34.70
that's how Satan works for on us
00:10:34.73\00:10:36.50
to get us to doubt
00:10:36.53\00:10:37.87
who our Creator
says that we are.
00:10:37.90\00:10:41.24
So I love, I love the truth
that God's Word speaks to us.
00:10:41.27\00:10:46.04
Jeremiah 31:3, you know,
00:10:46.07\00:10:49.64
"The Lord hath
appeared unto me of old, saying:
00:10:49.68\00:10:52.25
'Yea, I have loved you
with an everlasting love,
00:10:52.28\00:10:54.65
therefore with lovingkindness
have I drawn thee."
00:10:54.68\00:10:56.95
That's right.
00:10:56.99\00:10:58.32
God is drawing us
before I formed thee,
00:10:58.35\00:11:00.42
in the belly.
00:11:00.46\00:11:01.79
I knew thee, right?
00:11:01.82\00:11:03.16
Psalm 1:139, "I'm
fearfully and wonderfully made."
00:11:03.19\00:11:06.53
You knew who I was before
00:11:06.56\00:11:08.86
all of my little
parts were formed
00:11:08.90\00:11:10.87
when as yet
there was none of them.
00:11:10.90\00:11:12.63
So there's deep
intimate knowledge
00:11:12.67\00:11:14.17
that God says of who we are
and that he Has of who we are.
00:11:14.20\00:11:18.31
It means that our
identity can come from Him.
00:11:18.34\00:11:21.08
Our parents, family
environment, whoever,
00:11:21.11\00:11:24.75
they can either
affirm or deny that.
00:11:24.78\00:11:27.78
But that's, to me,
00:11:27.82\00:11:29.15
that's one of the
beautiful messages
00:11:29.18\00:11:30.65
of the gospel.
00:11:30.69\00:11:32.02
The gospel says, or is
a reminder of who we are.
00:11:32.05\00:11:36.06
We are image
bearers. In fact the...
00:11:36.09\00:11:37.49
Somebody says
00:11:37.53\00:11:38.86
that the whole
plan of redemption
00:11:38.89\00:11:41.36
is the restoring of
man into the image of God.
00:11:41.40\00:11:45.70
And so that's,
that's the profound thing.
00:11:45.73\00:11:48.64
Our image, we are
made in the image of God
00:11:48.67\00:11:52.14
and our identity comes from Him.
00:11:52.17\00:11:55.28
Amen.
00:11:55.31\00:11:56.64
So how does someone
build that relationship
00:11:56.68\00:11:58.38
then with the God
that they can't see?
00:11:58.41\00:12:02.62
You know, I would have to
say, and just someone who,
00:12:02.65\00:12:06.42
as I said earlier,
00:12:06.45\00:12:07.86
coming from a place in
life when I was younger,
00:12:07.89\00:12:10.89
struggling with
identity, sexual abuse.
00:12:10.93\00:12:14.40
And just a lot of
those things that can alter,
00:12:14.43\00:12:17.87
that does alter your identity.
00:12:17.90\00:12:20.07
I had to go to the Word of God
and see, we talked about lies,
00:12:20.10\00:12:23.77
lies take root.
00:12:23.81\00:12:25.24
But the only thing that
can cut at the root it's truth,
00:12:25.27\00:12:27.98
and that's what
the Word of God is.
00:12:28.01\00:12:29.34
Praise God.
00:12:29.38\00:12:30.71
It's powerful and it's sharper
than any two-edged sword.
00:12:30.75\00:12:32.65
It goes to the bone
00:12:32.68\00:12:34.88
and the cuts through
the marrow, you know.
00:12:34.92\00:12:37.02
And I believe that if
you want to understand
00:12:37.05\00:12:42.22
the truth about who you are,
00:12:42.26\00:12:43.93
you have to go
to the Word of God.
00:12:43.96\00:12:45.46
There is no other place
you're going to find it.
00:12:45.49\00:12:47.80
You can't find it in
women. You can't find it in men.
00:12:47.83\00:12:50.27
You can't find it in anything.
You have to find it in God.
00:12:50.30\00:12:53.10
I think we've been
talking about communication
00:12:53.13\00:12:55.94
and that's why the Word of God
00:12:55.97\00:12:58.01
is so important
00:12:58.04\00:12:59.37
is because the Word of God
00:12:59.41\00:13:00.81
is one of the primary means
00:13:00.84\00:13:02.78
that God uses to
communicate with us,
00:13:02.81\00:13:06.05
is one of the
primary means of us
00:13:06.08\00:13:08.88
as human beings,
00:13:08.92\00:13:10.25
being able to hear
what God has said about us
00:13:10.29\00:13:13.12
and the truth
that He speaks to us
00:13:13.15\00:13:15.02
just as human relationships
are built on strong,
00:13:15.06\00:13:19.36
solid communication
00:13:19.39\00:13:21.03
and an ever growing and
deepening communication.
00:13:21.06\00:13:24.17
I think that our
spiritual connection,
00:13:24.20\00:13:26.20
our connection
with God is also built
00:13:26.23\00:13:28.44
on strong communication.
00:13:28.47\00:13:30.57
Prayer is another thing
where we pour out our heart,
00:13:30.61\00:13:33.68
our hearts to
God, is to a friend.
00:13:33.71\00:13:36.38
And God speaks to
us through His Word,
00:13:36.41\00:13:38.11
and, of course, he speaks
to us through other people,
00:13:38.15\00:13:40.12
but we have to
familiarize ourselves
00:13:40.15\00:13:41.95
with His voice,
so communication.
00:13:41.98\00:13:45.42
Let's shift just a moment.
00:13:45.45\00:13:46.79
I know we've been talking
a lot about relationships,
00:13:46.82\00:13:49.32
especially in marriage,
but what about millennials?
00:13:49.36\00:13:53.23
That's the generation
that I know you mentioned
00:13:53.26\00:13:55.56
at the beginning that
you really reach out to
00:13:55.60\00:13:57.63
from the campus
ministry you're involved in,
00:13:57.67\00:13:59.77
and talk to us
about the struggles
00:13:59.80\00:14:03.00
and some of the
challenges that they face?
00:14:03.04\00:14:04.77
Yeah.
00:14:04.81\00:14:06.14
I think the
statistics are telling us
00:14:06.17\00:14:07.98
that fewer and fewer people
00:14:08.01\00:14:09.71
are getting married
in the United States.
00:14:09.74\00:14:12.25
So some people say, "Hey,
the divorce rate is going up."
00:14:12.28\00:14:14.68
Well, the divorce
rate is only going down
00:14:14.72\00:14:16.25
because less and less
people are getting married.
00:14:16.28\00:14:18.89
However,
there's another category
00:14:18.92\00:14:21.82
of individuals
that's on the rise
00:14:21.86\00:14:23.32
and that's more and more
people who are living together.
00:14:23.36\00:14:26.39
And what we've discovered,
00:14:26.43\00:14:28.73
not that we talk to
every single person,
00:14:28.76\00:14:31.07
but we've discovered
that most people have
00:14:31.10\00:14:33.13
a negative
perspective of marriage,
00:14:33.17\00:14:36.20
or they've seen
marriages that are broken.
00:14:36.24\00:14:39.24
Now, I want to clarify,
00:14:39.27\00:14:40.98
it doesn't mean that the people
00:14:41.01\00:14:43.85
in the broken
marriage are divorced,
00:14:43.88\00:14:46.41
but they're
miserable and unhappy.
00:14:46.45\00:14:48.92
They're still married,
00:14:48.95\00:14:50.29
but they're
miserable and unhappy.
00:14:50.32\00:14:51.65
Yeah.
00:14:51.69\00:14:53.02
I was going to say that
I think that I'm always,
00:14:53.05\00:14:54.39
I always mess this up,
00:14:54.42\00:14:55.76
the chickens,
the chickens come...
00:14:55.79\00:14:58.59
The chickens come home to roost.
00:14:58.63\00:14:59.96
Okay.
00:15:00.00\00:15:01.33
That where the
chickens do their thing,
00:15:01.36\00:15:02.80
basically meaning
that I think for years
00:15:02.83\00:15:07.80
there's been a
generation that watched
00:15:07.84\00:15:10.87
people stay in
marriages for sure, right?
00:15:10.91\00:15:13.61
And who held on to marriages,
00:15:13.64\00:15:15.64
but those
marriages weren't healthy.
00:15:15.68\00:15:18.38
There have been young people
00:15:18.41\00:15:20.42
within the millennial generation
00:15:20.45\00:15:22.12
who have watched
marriages fall apart
00:15:22.15\00:15:25.49
and who have grown
up in broken homes,
00:15:25.52\00:15:27.86
who have seen a
number of devastating things,
00:15:27.89\00:15:31.49
whether it's abuse
that was not addressed,
00:15:31.53\00:15:33.60
rather, it was,
00:15:33.63\00:15:34.96
you know, just evils and
a lot of different things.
00:15:35.00\00:15:37.40
And so now, the
things that we're dealing
00:15:37.43\00:15:39.53
with the repercussions
00:15:39.57\00:15:40.90
of the millennial generation
is that, you know what?
00:15:40.94\00:15:42.97
Commitment
doesn't mean anything,
00:15:43.00\00:15:44.77
you know, it's
just about my happiness,
00:15:44.81\00:15:46.98
you know, and
all of those things.
00:15:47.01\00:15:48.41
And I think that at some point,
00:15:48.44\00:15:51.71
you know, having
to take responsibility
00:15:51.75\00:15:54.05
for where they are right now
00:15:54.08\00:15:56.35
in their mindset when
it comes to relationships.
00:15:56.38\00:15:58.42
And I know that's
a difficult thing,
00:15:58.45\00:15:59.95
and I'm not saying that,
00:15:59.99\00:16:01.72
that, you know,
taking responsibility means
00:16:01.76\00:16:04.03
that we are responsible
for their decisions or choices.
00:16:04.06\00:16:06.49
We all are free to choose,
00:16:06.53\00:16:07.90
but definitely I
know that millennials,
00:16:07.93\00:16:10.47
some of them
would tell you, you know
00:16:10.50\00:16:12.67
well, the things that we saw
00:16:12.70\00:16:14.04
in these
marriages were not good.
00:16:14.07\00:16:16.14
Right. You know?
00:16:16.17\00:16:17.64
And I think a lot of...
00:16:17.67\00:16:21.68
One of the
challenges of post moderns
00:16:21.71\00:16:23.95
is there's a
suspicion about institutions
00:16:23.98\00:16:30.19
and marriage is
definitely suspect...
00:16:30.22\00:16:33.12
Yeah, they've
categorized it. Of millennials.
00:16:33.15\00:16:36.42
The way that my wife and
I would like to challenge,
00:16:36.46\00:16:40.50
and we like to
challenge millennials is this,
00:16:40.53\00:16:45.60
maybe the people
who were involved
00:16:45.63\00:16:49.40
in the institution of
marriage were the problem
00:16:49.44\00:16:52.47
and not the
institution of marriage itself.
00:16:52.51\00:16:55.01
Is that right?
00:16:55.04\00:16:56.38
And so, don't throw the baby out
00:16:56.41\00:16:58.28
with the bath
water, so to speak.
00:16:58.31\00:17:00.95
Marriage is, is
still a good thing.
00:17:00.98\00:17:03.45
In fact, all of the data suggest
00:17:03.49\00:17:07.36
that couples who cohabitate
00:17:07.39\00:17:11.93
are less likely to stay together
00:17:11.96\00:17:15.16
than couples who
are actually married.
00:17:15.20\00:17:17.67
So avoiding
marriage and living together
00:17:17.70\00:17:21.44
doesn't actually
make things better, right?
00:17:21.47\00:17:24.27
So if we, if we
are going to throw away
00:17:24.31\00:17:26.84
the institution of marriage,
00:17:26.88\00:17:28.21
because we saw
marriages that were broken,
00:17:28.24\00:17:30.98
and what does that say
about cohabitation then?
00:17:31.01\00:17:32.95
Right?
00:17:32.98\00:17:34.32
So our thing is
to encourage people
00:17:34.35\00:17:36.52
towards what we feel
like will be God's ideal.
00:17:36.55\00:17:39.89
And here's the thing,
00:17:39.92\00:17:42.09
or at least one of the things
that's beautiful about marriage
00:17:42.12\00:17:44.89
and Tamara
alluded to it earlier.
00:17:44.93\00:17:46.96
There is nothing
that is more calculated
00:17:47.00\00:17:51.03
to call forth
self-denial in an individual,
00:17:51.07\00:17:55.37
I believe than marriage. Right?
00:17:55.40\00:17:58.74
And, I think
00:17:58.77\00:18:01.34
because
millennials also love to,
00:18:01.38\00:18:04.48
they love to help others.
00:18:04.51\00:18:05.98
And there's this service,
00:18:06.01\00:18:08.25
this wave of
service and whatnot.
00:18:08.28\00:18:10.65
But if you
really want to get down
00:18:10.69\00:18:12.02
to serving someone else,
00:18:12.05\00:18:14.42
then who better to
serve than your spouse,
00:18:14.46\00:18:17.59
but here's the
challenging thing about it.
00:18:17.63\00:18:20.03
You know, my spouse
is not going to throw me
00:18:20.06\00:18:22.80
a parade or give me a plaque
00:18:22.83\00:18:25.57
because I've done
something kind to them.
00:18:25.60\00:18:29.77
It is,
unfortunately in some cases
00:18:29.80\00:18:33.07
it's a thankless job,
00:18:33.11\00:18:35.24
but it's a
character building job.
00:18:35.28\00:18:36.61
Yeah.
00:18:36.64\00:18:37.98
And I'm going to say, if
you have a good marriage,
00:18:38.01\00:18:40.28
it's not a thankless job
00:18:40.32\00:18:41.78
because your spouse
will appreciate you.
00:18:41.82\00:18:43.79
And they will acknowledge,
00:18:43.82\00:18:45.15
you know, the
things that you're doing.
00:18:45.19\00:18:46.52
But if you want to,
if you want to grow,
00:18:46.55\00:18:49.52
there is no more
calculated way for you to grow
00:18:49.56\00:18:52.43
in terms of learning
00:18:52.46\00:18:53.80
how to deny
yourself the marriage.
00:18:53.83\00:18:55.26
And Tamara and I,
00:18:55.30\00:18:56.63
we tell people
when you're single
00:18:56.67\00:18:59.60
and you have an
attitude problem,
00:18:59.63\00:19:01.07
you really don't know
you have an attitude problem.
00:19:01.10\00:19:03.61
You just stop picking up
the phone when people call.
00:19:03.64\00:19:05.17
Yeah.
00:19:05.21\00:19:06.54
You just go to your
room and avoid everyone,
00:19:06.57\00:19:08.98
your roommate, or
your family or whatnot,
00:19:09.01\00:19:11.78
but then you get married,
you cannot pick up the phone.
00:19:11.81\00:19:15.92
You can't just go
00:19:15.95\00:19:17.29
because your
room is now our room.
00:19:17.32\00:19:19.65
Right?
00:19:19.69\00:19:21.02
And so, all of these
things that we use to cope
00:19:21.06\00:19:24.13
with our selfishness
00:19:24.16\00:19:25.49
and still feel
good about ourselves,
00:19:25.53\00:19:27.33
marriage
challenges those things.
00:19:27.36\00:19:30.47
And I also think too,
00:19:30.50\00:19:31.93
that it's important to remember.
00:19:31.97\00:19:35.47
I think sometimes
we get caught here
00:19:35.50\00:19:37.84
in this one
particular place in the world
00:19:37.87\00:19:39.77
where we're from, right?
00:19:39.81\00:19:41.18
Marriage has
been around forever.
00:19:41.21\00:19:43.48
And if you go
travel around the world
00:19:43.51\00:19:45.81
to indigenous places,
00:19:45.85\00:19:47.42
you'll find that
marriage is there still,
00:19:47.45\00:19:49.78
there is no
piece of paper there,
00:19:49.82\00:19:51.92
but there is commitment.
00:19:51.95\00:19:53.29
There is accountability, right?
00:19:53.32\00:19:55.86
People holding you accountable
for the commitment you've made
00:19:55.89\00:19:58.59
to the person that you said
00:19:58.63\00:19:59.96
you're going to be with.
00:20:00.00\00:20:01.33
And so, I think
that when people say
00:20:01.36\00:20:02.70
that marriage is
just a piece of paper,
00:20:02.73\00:20:04.27
those people are
probably in a little city,
00:20:04.30\00:20:06.43
somewhere in America,
00:20:06.47\00:20:07.80
and haven't broadened,
00:20:07.84\00:20:09.60
you know, their mindset
00:20:09.64\00:20:10.97
when it comes to
relationship, you know.
00:20:11.01\00:20:13.81
You know, as a society, I mean,
00:20:13.84\00:20:15.18
really when you think
about the family, marriage,
00:20:15.21\00:20:18.01
it's kind of made fun of, right?
00:20:18.05\00:20:19.55
TV.
00:20:19.58\00:20:20.92
Yeah, it's under
attack, but I mean,
00:20:20.95\00:20:22.28
you know, the
laughing at the family,
00:20:22.32\00:20:24.02
you know, like, I don't know,
00:20:24.05\00:20:25.95
mom's like making fun of
dad, you know, he's stupid,
00:20:25.99\00:20:29.59
you know, he was
doing like, just shut up
00:20:29.62\00:20:31.66
and you know,
that kind of thing,
00:20:31.69\00:20:33.03
you know, the kids
seem out of control
00:20:33.06\00:20:34.66
and it's kinda just
like a laughing matter.
00:20:34.70\00:20:37.33
You know, people
don't know their identity,
00:20:37.37\00:20:39.23
you know, what am I?
00:20:39.27\00:20:40.60
I'm not really sure.
00:20:40.64\00:20:41.97
And so why do I
even want to get married?
00:20:42.00\00:20:43.51
I don't know, you know?
00:20:43.54\00:20:44.87
And so, it's, Satan has
confused society for sure.
00:20:44.91\00:20:50.98
And it's, and it's sad.
00:20:51.01\00:20:52.81
We appreciate people like you
00:20:52.85\00:20:54.72
that are out there
preaching the Word of God
00:20:54.75\00:20:57.12
and showing what a
good family is all about
00:20:57.15\00:20:59.99
and holding these
marriage seminars.
00:21:00.02\00:21:02.19
Tell me the age range
that come to these seminars.
00:21:02.22\00:21:04.49
Are they all newlyweds
people that are just trying to,
00:21:04.53\00:21:08.03
that are just
thinking about getting married
00:21:08.06\00:21:09.76
or do you have people
30, 40, 50 years of marriage?
00:21:09.80\00:21:13.23
Yeah, we have an
hour, well, we do seminars.
00:21:13.27\00:21:18.17
The most
powerful thing that we do,
00:21:18.21\00:21:20.11
I think we agree
is to open our home
00:21:20.14\00:21:23.14
and allow people to come in.
00:21:23.18\00:21:24.71
Oh, I didn't know you
did that. Because that is...
00:21:24.75\00:21:26.15
Wow.
00:21:26.18\00:21:27.52
That's where
00:21:27.55\00:21:28.88
it's one thing
for us to be here,
00:21:28.92\00:21:31.05
talking about family
and marriage and whatnot.
00:21:31.09\00:21:34.16
And it's another thing
for us to have to be speakers
00:21:34.19\00:21:36.96
at a seminar on marriage,
00:21:36.99\00:21:39.29
but really where the
rubber meets the road
00:21:39.33\00:21:41.93
is when we opened
the door to our home.
00:21:41.96\00:21:44.90
And we allow people to come in
00:21:44.93\00:21:47.00
and they see my wife
moving around when her
00:21:47.04\00:21:50.27
and I haven't
had the best of days
00:21:50.31\00:21:52.47
and we're, we
have to work together,
00:21:52.51\00:21:54.88
hosting people in our home
00:21:54.91\00:21:56.85
or our children
haven't done something that we,
00:21:56.88\00:21:59.68
we've asked them to do.
00:21:59.71\00:22:01.05
Sink full of dishes.
And I mean, just reality.
00:22:01.08\00:22:03.35
And we have to speak to
them and respond to them.
00:22:03.39\00:22:06.69
That gives a, not just theory
on what family looks like,
00:22:06.72\00:22:12.09
not just theory
00:22:12.13\00:22:13.46
on what good
communication looks like,
00:22:13.50\00:22:15.60
or self-sacrifice,
self-denial patience,
00:22:15.63\00:22:19.03
but it actually gives
a practical application
00:22:19.07\00:22:22.47
and an
experiential type of encounter
00:22:22.50\00:22:26.14
with what that looks like.
00:22:26.17\00:22:27.51
And that's been,
00:22:27.54\00:22:28.88
that's some of the best comments
00:22:28.91\00:22:30.35
that we've heard
are, you know what?
00:22:30.38\00:22:32.81
I'll never forget
family worship in your home.
00:22:32.85\00:22:35.78
Or man, we've had
students who were in university,
00:22:35.82\00:22:39.72
who said, man,
00:22:39.75\00:22:41.09
I'll never forget
that time that we went to,
00:22:41.12\00:22:43.99
or the times that
we went to the Conway's
00:22:44.03\00:22:46.16
and we had a little
1100 square foot apartment
00:22:46.19\00:22:49.53
with over 30
students crammed into it,
00:22:49.56\00:22:52.77
but they could,
00:22:52.80\00:22:54.14
they could sense
something was real there.
00:22:54.17\00:22:57.31
No, I was just going to say too,
00:22:57.34\00:22:58.67
that I think I remember back.
00:22:58.71\00:23:00.28
'Cause as I said, I
came from a broken home.
00:23:00.31\00:23:01.88
God is good.
00:23:01.91\00:23:03.24
My parents
remarried when I was 19,
00:23:03.28\00:23:05.08
but there was a period of time
00:23:05.11\00:23:06.85
where I would go
to friends' homes
00:23:06.88\00:23:10.49
and I would just
watch how a mom and dad,
00:23:10.52\00:23:13.52
you know, it just,
I can't explain it.
00:23:13.56\00:23:15.19
I just wanted to
see what it looked like,
00:23:15.22\00:23:17.46
you know, how they
related in real life.
00:23:17.49\00:23:19.53
And I, and I believe that
it's the same thing for us
00:23:19.56\00:23:22.46
as Christians, we have to.
00:23:22.50\00:23:24.63
I think we've become so aloof,
00:23:24.67\00:23:26.80
you know, over the years
00:23:26.84\00:23:28.17
we don't want to
be together much.
00:23:28.20\00:23:29.64
We don't want to allow people
into our space and I get it.
00:23:29.67\00:23:32.84
Actually I don't
because I'm just like that.
00:23:32.87\00:23:34.64
But, but anyway, you
know, I can understand, right?
00:23:34.68\00:23:38.18
Some people become
very protective, but I...
00:23:38.21\00:23:40.45
We just really believe
that there comes a point
00:23:40.48\00:23:42.82
where we have to
touch one another.
00:23:42.85\00:23:45.45
You have to allow
people to touch you.
00:23:45.49\00:23:47.22
And, so that's
so important for us,
00:23:47.26\00:23:49.49
for our home to be
open so people can be there.
00:23:49.52\00:23:51.76
Yeah.
00:23:51.79\00:23:53.13
But we talked to all
along the scope and age,
00:23:53.16\00:23:59.77
it doesn't really,
doesn't really matter.
00:23:59.80\00:24:01.14
Wow.
00:24:01.17\00:24:02.50
So just because
someone's been married
00:24:02.54\00:24:03.87
50 years,
00:24:03.91\00:24:05.24
it doesn't mean
00:24:05.27\00:24:06.61
that their
marriage is smooth and...
00:24:06.64\00:24:07.98
No, and someone
who's been married
00:24:08.01\00:24:11.01
for 50 years
00:24:11.05\00:24:12.38
may have a lot
that they can share.
00:24:12.41\00:24:13.75
Yeah.
00:24:13.78\00:24:15.12
But anyone who's
legitimately honest
00:24:15.15\00:24:17.85
will tell you
that they've also got
00:24:17.89\00:24:19.22
a lot that they can learn.
00:24:19.25\00:24:20.59
Yeah.
00:24:20.62\00:24:21.96
Because we never
stopped learning, you know?
00:24:21.99\00:24:23.86
It's true. You have
some more questions?
00:24:23.89\00:24:25.63
We have some more questions.
00:24:25.66\00:24:27.00
You want to look at
some, I got one here.
00:24:27.03\00:24:29.53
This is from Deborah.
00:24:29.56\00:24:31.70
She says to the point
dated for over 30 years
00:24:31.73\00:24:34.94
with one man, we were intimate.
00:24:34.97\00:24:36.57
That's a long
relationship, 30 years.
00:24:36.60\00:24:38.67
I moved away and
he still calls me.
00:24:38.71\00:24:40.11
And I still love him.
00:24:40.14\00:24:41.48
I have not heard
from him in three years.
00:24:41.51\00:24:44.21
The buyer of my home
felt it important for me
00:24:44.25\00:24:46.15
to make contact
from a letter he sent me,
00:24:46.18\00:24:48.32
he is a great
man, treats me good.
00:24:48.35\00:24:49.95
He is not a Christian,
just a decent, hardworking man.
00:24:49.98\00:24:53.02
He says he wants to marry,
00:24:53.05\00:24:54.39
but he does not
make a commitment.
00:24:54.42\00:24:56.52
How do you let go?
00:24:56.56\00:24:58.09
So she was in a
long-term relationship,
00:24:58.13\00:25:00.56
the relationship's over
00:25:00.60\00:25:02.36
and she doesn't
know how to let him go.
00:25:02.40\00:25:04.70
Hmm.
00:25:04.73\00:25:06.30
Wow, you know, I always tell,
00:25:06.33\00:25:09.24
and I think women
and men are different
00:25:09.27\00:25:12.31
somewhat when it
comes to these things.
00:25:12.34\00:25:13.88
Because women,
00:25:13.91\00:25:15.24
when we give
ourselves to someone physically,
00:25:15.28\00:25:17.45
we don't just give the physical,
00:25:17.48\00:25:19.21
it takes emotion.
00:25:19.25\00:25:20.58
It takes our
heart. It takes our mind.
00:25:20.62\00:25:23.75
And so it is hard
to separate yourself
00:25:23.79\00:25:27.06
from someone who you've
given yourself completely
00:25:27.09\00:25:28.92
to when God only meant
00:25:28.96\00:25:30.29
for that person to be,
you know, your husband.
00:25:30.33\00:25:33.90
You know, I would say,
00:25:33.93\00:25:35.60
it was, it's going to
require a lot of prayer,
00:25:35.63\00:25:37.77
you know, it's going to require
00:25:37.80\00:25:40.50
just really, really going to God
00:25:40.54\00:25:42.80
and being honest about that.
00:25:42.84\00:25:45.51
Thirty years is a
long time, you know?
00:25:45.54\00:25:49.41
And like we
talked about earlier,
00:25:49.44\00:25:51.18
you know, we expect
things to change overnight.
00:25:51.21\00:25:53.82
No, when you've
dedicated yourself,
00:25:53.85\00:25:55.38
it was never
meant to be separated.
00:25:55.42\00:25:57.79
You know, when you,
00:25:57.82\00:25:59.15
when you're physically
intimate with someone,
00:25:59.19\00:26:00.52
God never meant for
you to have to separate.
00:26:00.56\00:26:02.76
So what you're experiencing
00:26:02.79\00:26:04.13
is what God never
intended for you to experience.
00:26:04.16\00:26:06.63
And so it is
going to be painful,
00:26:06.66\00:26:08.40
you know, but I
believe that God can give you
00:26:08.43\00:26:10.17
the strength,
you know, to do that.
00:26:10.20\00:26:12.13
I don't know if I'm...
00:26:12.17\00:26:13.50
Hmm. Yeah, no,
that's good. Yeah.
00:26:13.54\00:26:15.44
No, I mean,
there's really nothing
00:26:15.47\00:26:18.27
I can say other than,
00:26:18.31\00:26:21.61
you know,
sometimes we have to move on
00:26:21.64\00:26:23.65
and you know, I
think of a biblical example
00:26:23.68\00:26:27.48
in 2 Samuel Chapter 11,
00:26:27.52\00:26:30.99
David staying with Bathsheba
and strange thing happened,
00:26:31.02\00:26:36.86
he's praying for their child
00:26:36.89\00:26:40.30
after he's been given word
that the child is going to die,
00:26:40.33\00:26:44.10
he prays and he fast,
00:26:44.13\00:26:45.67
he won't even wash himself.
00:26:45.70\00:26:47.87
Then he sees his
servants whispering
00:26:47.90\00:26:49.47
because the child has died.
00:26:49.50\00:26:50.84
Yeah.
00:26:50.87\00:26:52.21
And David asks,
"Is the child dead?"
00:26:52.24\00:26:53.98
And they're scared to tell him.
00:26:54.01\00:26:55.34
And they say,
"Yes, the child is dead."
00:26:55.38\00:26:57.91
Run my bath water,
00:26:57.95\00:26:59.81
bring me some fresh clothes,
00:26:59.85\00:27:01.95
you know, prepare a meal for me.
00:27:01.98\00:27:04.02
The Bible says he washes and he,
00:27:04.05\00:27:06.86
you know, put
some lotion on himself
00:27:06.89\00:27:09.12
and puts on fresh clothes,
sits down and have a meal.
00:27:09.16\00:27:12.56
And his servants
are like, what is wrong?
00:27:12.59\00:27:15.36
We thought surely he
was going to go crazy
00:27:15.40\00:27:17.73
when he heard that.
00:27:17.77\00:27:19.27
And David essentially says,
00:27:19.30\00:27:21.84
"I can't change
what's happened."
00:27:21.87\00:27:24.37
Yeah.
00:27:24.41\00:27:25.74
I can only move forward.
00:27:25.77\00:27:28.11
And so I think
00:27:28.14\00:27:29.68
that that's been a
profound lesson for me
00:27:29.71\00:27:32.95
in my own life in times
00:27:32.98\00:27:34.32
where I find
difficulty moving forward.
00:27:34.35\00:27:35.98
And I like to try to share that
00:27:36.02\00:27:37.35
to encourage others as well.
00:27:37.39\00:27:38.72
We can't change the past,
00:27:38.75\00:27:40.16
but by God's grace,
we can move forward.
00:27:40.19\00:27:42.19
And he has
something better for us.
00:27:42.22\00:27:44.26
Amen. Yeah.
00:27:44.29\00:27:45.63
This person, this
is a really good point.
00:27:45.66\00:27:47.10
And we apologize for this.
00:27:47.13\00:27:48.46
Someone just asking,
00:27:48.50\00:27:49.83
'cause a few minutes
ago we were asking about
00:27:49.86\00:27:51.20
or mentioning and
talking about millennials.
00:27:51.23\00:27:53.20
They said, please
define millennial.
00:27:53.23\00:27:55.54
So that's,
yeah, I apologize, so.
00:27:55.57\00:27:56.91
Okay.
00:27:56.94\00:27:58.27
Millennials, that's
a, that's an age group.
00:27:58.31\00:28:01.04
Lord have mercy.
00:28:01.08\00:28:02.41
The challenging thing about that
00:28:02.44\00:28:03.78
is if you read
three different books,
00:28:03.81\00:28:05.78
they'll put the age
groups at different.
00:28:05.81\00:28:07.68
Right. Right.
00:28:07.72\00:28:09.18
So essentially millennials
00:28:09.22\00:28:11.82
are the
children of baby boomers.
00:28:11.85\00:28:14.39
Baby boomers are those
00:28:14.42\00:28:15.79
who were born
after their parents
00:28:15.82\00:28:18.29
either fought in
World War II or whatnot.
00:28:18.33\00:28:20.50
So they were born
right after World War II
00:28:20.53\00:28:23.10
or during World War II.
00:28:23.13\00:28:24.83
So their children
some, some people say
00:28:24.87\00:28:29.80
the mid to late 70s
00:28:29.84\00:28:32.21
is when the
millennial generation
00:28:32.24\00:28:34.24
began to be born.
00:28:34.28\00:28:35.68
So, they're children of boomers.
00:28:35.71\00:28:37.51
Yeah. Mean by millennials.
00:28:37.55\00:28:38.91
This is a good question here.
00:28:38.95\00:28:40.28
This comes from Steve, says,
00:28:40.32\00:28:41.88
"A marriage where,
because of a cultural,
00:28:41.92\00:28:45.65
a culture of non-communication
00:28:45.69\00:28:48.12
and non-confrontation
in both parties, partners,
00:28:48.16\00:28:51.49
how can you resolve conflict?"
00:28:51.53\00:28:54.26
So in other words, yeah,
00:28:54.30\00:28:55.63
there's a
culture non-communication
00:28:55.66\00:28:58.30
and no confrontation.
00:28:58.33\00:28:59.97
Yeah, so that'd be
a husband and a wife.
00:29:00.00\00:29:02.00
That's how they've been raised.
00:29:02.04\00:29:03.61
So then how would
you resolve conflict?
00:29:03.64\00:29:05.54
Neither one communicates
and neither one confronts.
00:29:05.57\00:29:07.98
Wow. Wow.
00:29:08.01\00:29:09.34
Interesting enough,
we just returned a far,
00:29:09.38\00:29:13.95
far away planet.
00:29:13.98\00:29:18.45
We just got
back from that planet
00:29:18.49\00:29:19.82
not too long ago.
00:29:19.85\00:29:21.19
And, we were in that culture,
00:29:21.22\00:29:24.23
you know, and that
was one of the things
00:29:24.26\00:29:25.83
that came up.
00:29:25.86\00:29:27.70
In that particular
culture, they do not talk,
00:29:27.73\00:29:31.27
you know, about anything,
00:29:31.30\00:29:32.93
pretty much the
husbands and wives,
00:29:32.97\00:29:34.77
when an important
conversation or topic comes up,
00:29:34.80\00:29:37.27
the men and women separate,
00:29:37.31\00:29:39.44
they don't even
sit together in church.
00:29:39.47\00:29:40.81
Like there's a lot
of different things.
00:29:40.84\00:29:42.18
So...
00:29:42.21\00:29:43.55
You are talking
husband and wives?
00:29:43.58\00:29:44.91
Yes, we're talking
about husbands and wives.
00:29:44.95\00:29:46.28
Don't even sit
together in church.
00:29:46.31\00:29:47.65
No, sir.
00:29:47.68\00:29:49.02
Wow! That's amazing.
00:29:49.05\00:29:50.39
That's incredible.
It's incredible, isn't it?
00:29:50.42\00:29:51.75
And so a couple came to us,
00:29:51.79\00:29:53.12
you know, and they,
and they were struggling
00:29:53.15\00:29:54.49
and they were like, you know,
00:29:54.52\00:29:56.32
we, every time we try to talk,
00:29:56.36\00:29:57.89
we argue and we
fuss and we fight
00:29:57.93\00:30:00.06
and, you know, long story short
00:30:00.10\00:30:02.60
which is always not true
when I say that but anyway,
00:30:02.63\00:30:04.40
he knows that.
00:30:04.43\00:30:07.64
Right.
00:30:07.67\00:30:09.50
But, no, the couple,
00:30:09.54\00:30:10.94
you know, we
realized after a while
00:30:10.97\00:30:12.57
we asked them like, you know,
do you really know each other?
00:30:12.61\00:30:14.48
Like, and were like, what?
00:30:14.51\00:30:16.38
Like, no, like we got married
00:30:16.41\00:30:18.38
and they'd been
married for quite some time.
00:30:18.41\00:30:19.75
They have three children
and they don't communicate.
00:30:19.78\00:30:24.49
They don't even
know the deepest parts
00:30:24.52\00:30:25.95
of one other's lives.
00:30:25.99\00:30:27.36
One of the
spouses had been abused
00:30:27.39\00:30:29.72
when they were children
and the spouse didn't know it.
00:30:29.76\00:30:32.29
Oh, wow. Never even heard it.
00:30:32.33\00:30:34.70
The other person
was dealing with anger
00:30:34.73\00:30:36.30
and frustration
00:30:36.33\00:30:37.67
and the roots of
that came from childhood.
00:30:37.70\00:30:39.57
The other person didn't know it.
00:30:39.60\00:30:41.10
Well, we asked them to do,
00:30:41.14\00:30:42.47
was to do something
that was countercultural,
00:30:42.50\00:30:45.31
which was to go home.
00:30:45.34\00:30:47.54
And we just said 10 minutes,
00:30:47.58\00:30:48.91
because we don't want to
push people too much, right?
00:30:48.94\00:30:50.98
There are some
people who just are not used
00:30:51.01\00:30:52.35
to talking at all.
00:30:52.38\00:30:53.72
Right.
00:30:53.75\00:30:55.08
So we don't want
to push you too much,
00:30:55.12\00:30:56.45
set aside 10
minutes in your week
00:30:56.48\00:30:57.95
to sit down and talk,
00:30:57.99\00:31:01.06
talk, and that's it.
00:31:01.09\00:31:02.86
Well, you can
finish and tell them what.
00:31:02.89\00:31:04.99
Yeah.
00:31:05.03\00:31:06.83
And this was a beautiful thing
is one of the beautiful things,
00:31:06.86\00:31:10.27
not everything is beautiful,
00:31:10.30\00:31:11.63
but this was one
beautiful example
00:31:11.67\00:31:14.50
that couple came back to us
00:31:14.54\00:31:17.27
after completing this assignment
00:31:17.31\00:31:19.34
we'd given them.
00:31:19.37\00:31:20.84
And they said
that they had stayed up
00:31:20.88\00:31:23.24
until 2 o'clock in
the morning talking.
00:31:23.28\00:31:27.15
Wow. And the assignment was...
00:31:27.18\00:31:28.62
So that means it lasted
longer than ten minutes.
00:31:28.65\00:31:30.85
It lasted far
longer than 10 minutes.
00:31:30.89\00:31:33.56
And as we were listening to them
00:31:33.59\00:31:37.03
and this wasn't
anything that we had done.
00:31:37.06\00:31:39.13
No. I want to make that clear.
00:31:39.16\00:31:41.06
It wasn't about
what we had done.
00:31:41.10\00:31:43.00
It was about what God had done
00:31:43.03\00:31:45.03
through them
00:31:45.07\00:31:46.40
and their willingness
to be countercultural.
00:31:46.43\00:31:48.67
Yeah, they could
acknowledge that we don't talk,
00:31:48.70\00:31:51.14
we haven't talked,
things aren't going well.
00:31:51.17\00:31:53.44
But when they
actually set aside time
00:31:53.48\00:31:56.44
to sit down and say,
00:31:56.48\00:31:59.31
let's do something we don't do.
00:31:59.35\00:32:01.28
Let's communicate.
00:32:01.32\00:32:03.32
What they
learned about each other
00:32:03.35\00:32:04.79
was literally life altering.
00:32:04.82\00:32:07.59
And we all had
tears as we were sitting,
00:32:07.62\00:32:11.16
listening to the
testimony and each, each one,
00:32:11.19\00:32:15.30
the husband saw
his treatment of the,
00:32:15.33\00:32:19.23
of his wife Through a different,
00:32:19.27\00:32:22.27
through a
different set of lenses.
00:32:22.30\00:32:24.37
Once he
understood... Where she came...
00:32:24.41\00:32:26.17
Where she had come from
00:32:26.21\00:32:27.91
and where she could see
her treatment of her husband
00:32:27.94\00:32:31.31
through a
different set of lenses,
00:32:31.35\00:32:32.71
once she understood
where he had come from.
00:32:32.75\00:32:35.32
So this was a
profound, a profound change.
00:32:35.35\00:32:38.75
You know, I read an
article recently about this guy
00:32:38.79\00:32:41.89
who said, he's not
a Christian anymore
00:32:41.92\00:32:44.03
because we don't see miracles.
00:32:44.06\00:32:46.73
Man, we saw one. Absolutely.
00:32:46.76\00:32:48.76
We literally sat in the room
00:32:48.80\00:32:50.70
and listened to a
miracle that God performed.
00:32:50.73\00:32:53.67
And we had tears
along with that couple
00:32:53.70\00:32:56.00
because of what God had done.
00:32:56.04\00:32:57.37
So I would say, get
out of your culture.
00:32:57.41\00:33:00.48
A part of culture is
simply learned behavior.
00:33:00.51\00:33:03.78
Learn new behaviors
by the grace of God.
00:33:03.81\00:33:06.58
Amen.
00:33:06.61\00:33:07.95
Do you have any
other stories of people
00:33:07.98\00:33:11.02
whose lives have been touched
or marriage has mended or...
00:33:11.05\00:33:13.89
Yeah. Go ahead.
00:33:13.92\00:33:15.46
Listen, now I
would love to tell you
00:33:15.49\00:33:17.86
we're the type of people
00:33:17.89\00:33:19.23
that every time we go someplace,
00:33:19.26\00:33:20.60
every couple we talked to,
00:33:20.63\00:33:22.06
the end result is
just wonderful, right?
00:33:22.10\00:33:24.73
There are some times
when we talk to people
00:33:24.77\00:33:26.77
and we're just
like, this is not working.
00:33:26.80\00:33:29.30
Right.
00:33:29.34\00:33:31.87
There was a couple this,
00:33:31.91\00:33:34.01
you know, not too
long ago who came to us,
00:33:34.04\00:33:36.34
they're not even Christian,
they're Buddhist or Hindu.
00:33:36.38\00:33:40.08
And, but they were recommended,
listen, go talk to them.
00:33:40.12\00:33:43.72
And we'll talk to anybody.
We don't have a preference.
00:33:43.75\00:33:45.79
We believe in family.
00:33:45.82\00:33:47.32
And they came to our home
00:33:47.36\00:33:49.06
and, you know, the first
day that we spoke to them,
00:33:49.09\00:33:51.53
we were like, "Whoa, you
know, this is a tough one."
00:33:51.56\00:33:54.23
Can I interrupt a second?
00:33:54.26\00:33:55.60
When you say they
come to your home?
00:33:55.63\00:33:56.97
'Cause I thought this before,
00:33:57.00\00:33:58.33
does that mean
people just come for a meal?
00:33:58.37\00:33:59.77
Or you mean they
stay for a few days?
00:33:59.80\00:34:02.14
What do you mean by
coming to your home?
00:34:02.17\00:34:03.61
They come, so we'll set up a...
00:34:03.64\00:34:04.97
Sometimes it's a meal,
00:34:05.01\00:34:06.34
just depends on
what time they come.
00:34:06.37\00:34:08.18
We always offer, you know,
00:34:08.21\00:34:10.25
hey, look, dude, you
guys hungry or whatnot.
00:34:10.28\00:34:12.95
But mainly it's just,
00:34:12.98\00:34:15.08
people make an
appointment when it's conducive
00:34:15.12\00:34:17.69
and they'll come by.
00:34:17.72\00:34:19.05
And we utilize the
home as much as we can.
00:34:19.09\00:34:21.59
So they can find a
new place. I got it.
00:34:21.62\00:34:23.09
Absolutely. Okay. I understand.
00:34:23.12\00:34:24.46
Sorry. No.
00:34:24.49\00:34:25.83
And they came by
00:34:25.86\00:34:27.20
and the interesting
thing about this couple
00:34:27.23\00:34:29.16
they were both, you
know, from the same culture,
00:34:29.20\00:34:32.10
but they did not
have the same culture.
00:34:32.13\00:34:34.40
One was
culturally from their country
00:34:34.44\00:34:36.60
and one was raised
in the United States.
00:34:36.64\00:34:38.64
So the families thought,
00:34:38.67\00:34:40.08
okay, well you're from the same,
00:34:40.11\00:34:41.44
you know, but no, they
think completely different.
00:34:41.48\00:34:43.91
They never had that
conversation though.
00:34:43.95\00:34:46.21
So they're sitting in there,
00:34:46.25\00:34:47.65
you know, telling
us about the struggles
00:34:47.68\00:34:49.08
that they've had for so long.
00:34:49.12\00:34:50.59
And they don't understand me
and she doesn't understand me
00:34:50.62\00:34:52.39
and infidelity and all
these different things,
00:34:52.42\00:34:54.09
you know?
00:34:54.12\00:34:55.46
And, listen, we
shared the things
00:34:55.49\00:34:56.83
that we normally share.
00:34:56.86\00:34:58.19
We talked about
communication and conflict.
00:34:58.23\00:34:59.56
We talked about the culture
00:34:59.59\00:35:00.93
and we talked about
emotional maturity, right?
00:35:00.96\00:35:04.57
Which is very
important, emotional vocabulary,
00:35:04.60\00:35:07.70
you know, and
those types of things.
00:35:07.74\00:35:09.54
Needless to say after about,
00:35:09.57\00:35:10.97
I don't know how many
sessions we were like, yeah.
00:35:11.01\00:35:13.84
No, the last session
that we had one of them
00:35:13.88\00:35:17.95
actually was like, I'm done.
00:35:17.98\00:35:19.31
Yeah. I'm finished.
00:35:19.35\00:35:20.68
After that session,
you know what, I'm done.
00:35:20.72\00:35:22.15
And we believe them.
00:35:22.18\00:35:23.69
We believe that
they were telling
00:35:23.72\00:35:25.05
the truth that they were done
00:35:25.09\00:35:26.52
because of just
a lot of chaotic,
00:35:26.55\00:35:29.36
dramatic things
that were taking place.
00:35:29.39\00:35:31.56
And you know,
we, I must confess,
00:35:31.59\00:35:36.13
you know, I gave up,
00:35:36.16\00:35:38.33
I wasn't
praying for them anymore
00:35:38.37\00:35:40.47
because I
thought, "Oh, that's done.
00:35:40.50\00:35:42.67
That's pretty much finished."
00:35:42.70\00:35:44.44
And after that,
00:35:44.47\00:35:48.41
you know, you just, you know,
00:35:48.44\00:35:50.45
you don't see
anyone anymore and you,
00:35:50.48\00:35:52.41
you kinda, you're like,
00:35:52.45\00:35:54.52
okay, you know,
maybe we'll whatever,
00:35:54.55\00:35:56.75
but just gave up hope,
00:35:56.79\00:35:58.69
had no hope for their situation.
00:35:58.72\00:36:01.06
And then my wife,
00:36:01.09\00:36:02.96
she gets a text message
and she says, read this.
00:36:02.99\00:36:06.70
And I look at it and go
ahead, read what it says.
00:36:06.73\00:36:10.87
And this is what it said,
so when I got the text message,
00:36:10.90\00:36:13.07
I thought to
myself like, who is this?
00:36:13.10\00:36:16.10
I'm just being honest.
00:36:16.14\00:36:17.47
You completely think
these people are done.
00:36:17.51\00:36:19.24
I'm never going to
hear from them again.
00:36:19.27\00:36:21.64
It comes at 6:38 AM.
00:36:21.68\00:36:25.31
I truly need to
thank you and your husband
00:36:25.35\00:36:26.98
for saving our marriage.
00:36:27.02\00:36:28.35
And we didn't do anything.
00:36:28.38\00:36:29.72
It really, all
glory goes to God.
00:36:29.75\00:36:31.59
Our last conversation
00:36:31.62\00:36:32.95
had very deep,
emotional impact on us.
00:36:32.99\00:36:35.26
It is hard work
making marriage a success,
00:36:35.29\00:36:38.43
but we are on a right track.
00:36:38.46\00:36:40.50
Not 100% there yet,
00:36:40.53\00:36:42.23
but moving forward
because of you both and God,
00:36:42.26\00:36:46.30
and we're talking
about these people,
00:36:46.33\00:36:48.84
one of them was that he
didn't even believe in God.
00:36:48.87\00:36:52.27
We are celebrating 11
years anniversary today.
00:36:52.31\00:36:55.58
Thank you.
00:36:55.61\00:36:56.95
I almost passed
out on the floor.
00:36:56.98\00:36:58.31
I didn't know what to...
00:36:58.35\00:36:59.68
I said, Lord.
00:36:59.71\00:37:01.05
Praise God. Yeah.
00:37:01.08\00:37:02.42
It was a situation
where, when I read that,
00:37:02.45\00:37:04.92
you know, it was
excitement, happy, happy, joy.
00:37:04.95\00:37:07.52
And then it's
like, rebuke, like, man,
00:37:07.56\00:37:11.36
you totally gave up on that.
00:37:11.39\00:37:13.50
You totally
thought that the last time
00:37:13.53\00:37:16.13
when they left your
home, that it was over.
00:37:16.16\00:37:18.90
And this was a marriage.
00:37:18.93\00:37:20.27
When I say anything
00:37:20.30\00:37:21.64
that could happen happened,
00:37:21.67\00:37:23.07
police, physical
abuse, infidelity...
00:37:23.10\00:37:29.38
All of that. Rough.
00:37:29.41\00:37:30.75
Needless to say, the
rebuke portion of it for me
00:37:30.78\00:37:34.38
was how dare you give up?
00:37:34.42\00:37:37.69
Yes.
00:37:37.72\00:37:40.26
Don't you remember
00:37:40.29\00:37:41.82
that with God, all
things are possible.
00:37:41.86\00:37:45.09
And we literally had
no hope for that couple
00:37:45.13\00:37:50.97
and God reminded us.
00:37:51.00\00:37:52.57
And by the way,
this text came last week.
00:37:52.60\00:37:54.94
Yeah.
00:37:54.97\00:37:56.97
That God reminded us
through that communication
00:37:57.01\00:38:00.74
that I'm still in the
business of performing miracles.
00:38:00.78\00:38:05.15
I'm still in the
business of doing
00:38:05.18\00:38:07.28
above and beyond
all that you can ask
00:38:07.32\00:38:09.65
or even think is possible.
00:38:09.68\00:38:11.65
And I'm not hindered by Hindus.
00:38:11.69\00:38:13.36
I'm not hindered by Buddhist.
I'm not hindered by anything.
00:38:13.39\00:38:16.42
He will do what He
says He's going to do.
00:38:16.46\00:38:18.93
So someone's
watching tonight right now
00:38:18.96\00:38:21.46
and they're saying,
my life is in shambles.
00:38:21.50\00:38:24.13
My marriage is in
shambles, I'm broken,
00:38:24.17\00:38:28.04
there's all the
things you mentioned
00:38:28.07\00:38:29.80
are going on right
now in my marriage.
00:38:29.84\00:38:32.87
And I don't
even know what to do.
00:38:32.91\00:38:34.51
I don't even know where to turn.
00:38:34.54\00:38:37.15
I want to invite
either one of you
00:38:37.18\00:38:38.78
just to look in that camera
00:38:38.81\00:38:40.15
and talk to that
person at home right now.
00:38:40.18\00:38:42.12
I don't know who
wants to, or both of you,
00:38:42.15\00:38:44.29
whatever you want to do.
00:38:44.32\00:38:46.19
You know, I'm a firm
believer because I'm a witness.
00:38:46.22\00:38:51.66
I am a personal
witness coming from,
00:38:51.69\00:38:55.60
for all intents and purposes,
00:38:55.63\00:38:56.97
I know I should probably
be not in my right mind.
00:38:57.00\00:38:59.90
I should probably be
a prostitute somewhere.
00:38:59.93\00:39:03.84
I should probably be
abusive to my own children.
00:39:03.87\00:39:07.28
This should probably be
my fourth or third marriage
00:39:07.31\00:39:09.44
if a marriage at all.
00:39:09.48\00:39:11.51
Because of the
things that I watched,
00:39:11.55\00:39:13.21
because of the things
I experienced growing up,
00:39:13.25\00:39:16.02
because of the
things that were told to me,
00:39:16.05\00:39:17.75
the things that I heard,
the things that I listened to,
00:39:17.79\00:39:21.49
I can tell you for sure
00:39:21.52\00:39:23.26
that God is able
00:39:23.29\00:39:26.49
to not only just
help you to confront
00:39:26.53\00:39:30.53
and to face some of the things,
00:39:30.57\00:39:32.23
the harsh realities,
00:39:32.27\00:39:33.60
the lies that Satan has told us,
00:39:33.64\00:39:35.17
getting deep down in there.
00:39:35.20\00:39:36.54
One of my favorite
Bible verses is Proverbs 4:23,
00:39:36.57\00:39:39.77
"Keep thy heart
with all diligence,
00:39:39.81\00:39:41.64
for out of it are
the issues of life."
00:39:41.68\00:39:43.11
We all have issues.
00:39:43.14\00:39:44.75
There's not one
person on this planet
00:39:44.78\00:39:46.28
that does not have an issue,
00:39:46.31\00:39:47.75
but, oh, I'm so thankful to
God that His Word is powerful.
00:39:47.78\00:39:53.36
And He knew already that
these issues would exist.
00:39:53.39\00:39:58.06
And so He has a plan in place.
00:39:58.09\00:40:00.10
His Word was put
there to give us the roadmap
00:40:00.13\00:40:03.53
to come up out of those things.
00:40:03.57\00:40:05.47
And I'm a living
witness that He can do it
00:40:05.50\00:40:07.54
that today I am
living in a happy marriage,
00:40:07.57\00:40:10.81
not because I'm perfect,
God knows and he knows too.
00:40:10.84\00:40:15.11
But because God has been with us
00:40:15.14\00:40:18.15
every step of the way.
00:40:18.18\00:40:19.51
Daily we surrender to Him.
00:40:19.55\00:40:21.18
Every single day,
00:40:21.22\00:40:23.25
we have to
surrender our marriage,
00:40:23.28\00:40:24.75
the raising of our children.
00:40:24.79\00:40:26.25
I have to surrender my
thoughts to God every single day
00:40:26.29\00:40:29.02
and speak the truth
to myself from His Word.
00:40:29.06\00:40:31.89
Whether I'm at my
job, whether I'm at church,
00:40:31.93\00:40:34.20
in the grocery store,
00:40:34.23\00:40:35.56
Satan doesn't even care
where he attacks you, you know?
00:40:35.60\00:40:38.73
So I'm a firm believer that
00:40:38.77\00:40:40.64
that God is
still in the business
00:40:40.67\00:40:42.57
of transforming
and changing lives.
00:40:42.60\00:40:44.61
And we are witnesses to that.
00:40:44.64\00:40:45.97
He can save your marriage
and even if you are divorced,
00:40:46.01\00:40:49.04
he can still do a
work in your life.
00:40:49.08\00:40:51.75
He can still allow you
to be able to co-parent,
00:40:51.78\00:40:54.45
we're talking to you today
that that broken relationship
00:40:54.48\00:40:57.32
where you can't even
deal with one another.
00:40:57.35\00:40:58.69
Yes, you can.
00:40:58.72\00:41:00.06
If you want to raise
healthy whole children,
00:41:00.09\00:41:02.39
put yourself to the side
00:41:02.42\00:41:03.99
and put God back on a pedestal
00:41:04.03\00:41:05.36
and He can still do that.
00:41:05.39\00:41:07.10
He can cause
relationships to be healed.
00:41:07.13\00:41:10.07
He can cause you to be
set free from addictions
00:41:10.10\00:41:12.40
and diseases that are
destroying the family.
00:41:12.43\00:41:16.44
He can do it.
00:41:16.47\00:41:17.81
Yeah, I would just add to that.
00:41:17.84\00:41:20.51
You know, the most
important relationship
00:41:20.54\00:41:23.98
is not the person
to person relationship,
00:41:24.01\00:41:26.82
but it's the relationship
that we have with God.
00:41:26.85\00:41:30.59
And as that
relationship is repaired,
00:41:30.62\00:41:33.86
and as that relationship
receives the attention
00:41:33.89\00:41:37.09
that it needs,
00:41:37.13\00:41:38.46
then God is able to
fix the other relationships
00:41:38.49\00:41:42.46
that we are
involved in and engaged in.
00:41:42.50\00:41:45.47
So I would encourage you
tonight to look to the Lord.
00:41:45.50\00:41:50.41
The Bible says
00:41:50.44\00:41:51.87
that song is
quoted from the scripture.
00:41:51.91\00:41:54.48
"I will lift up
mine eyes to the hills
00:41:54.51\00:41:56.88
from whence cometh my help,
00:41:56.91\00:41:58.78
my help comes from the Lord."
00:41:58.81\00:42:02.62
So as you look to Him,
00:42:02.65\00:42:04.75
He will make you whole,
00:42:04.79\00:42:07.09
and then He will
help through His grace
00:42:07.12\00:42:09.96
to fix the other
relationships in your life.
00:42:09.99\00:42:12.96
So I would
encourage you that way.
00:42:12.99\00:42:14.40
Amen.
00:42:14.43\00:42:15.76
That's hope.
00:42:15.80\00:42:17.13
That's hope. That's great.
00:42:17.17\00:42:18.50
I mean, that's why I
love the story that you told
00:42:18.53\00:42:20.04
and then your own experience,
00:42:20.07\00:42:21.40
you know, I think a lot of times
00:42:21.44\00:42:23.71
people in life feel hopeless.
00:42:23.74\00:42:25.31
Yes.
00:42:25.34\00:42:26.94
Yeah. Nothing to live for.
00:42:26.98\00:42:28.44
Yeah. Everything's a mess.
00:42:28.48\00:42:30.15
Yeah.
00:42:30.18\00:42:31.51
Hope we need that. Go ahead.
00:42:31.55\00:42:32.88
And I just, you know, I
love to share with people,
00:42:32.91\00:42:36.52
that's one of the
most dangerous places to be
00:42:36.55\00:42:40.09
is when you lose hope,
00:42:40.12\00:42:43.32
when you don't see a possibility
00:42:43.36\00:42:46.13
of anything better
or anything different
00:42:46.16\00:42:48.50
either for
yourself or for the people
00:42:48.53\00:42:50.47
you're in relationships with.
00:42:50.50\00:42:52.13
And that's does generally,
00:42:52.17\00:42:53.50
when people check out
00:42:53.54\00:42:55.10
is because I don't,
00:42:55.14\00:42:56.47
one of the reason
why people check out,
00:42:56.50\00:42:57.84
I don't have any hope.
00:42:57.87\00:42:59.87
And so again,
00:42:59.91\00:43:01.81
we've been
talking about scripture
00:43:01.84\00:43:03.61
and it's not just the cliche,
00:43:03.65\00:43:05.21
"Oh, you need to
read your Bible."
00:43:05.25\00:43:07.35
Romans 15:4,
00:43:07.38\00:43:08.72
"Whatsoever things
were written aforetime
00:43:08.75\00:43:10.72
were written for our learning,
00:43:10.75\00:43:12.62
that we through patience
00:43:12.65\00:43:14.12
and comfort of the
scriptures might have hope.
00:43:14.16\00:43:17.69
There are stories
that are worse than ours
00:43:17.73\00:43:19.06
in the scriptures.
00:43:19.09\00:43:20.43
Oh, yes.
00:43:20.46\00:43:21.80
And God placed those there
00:43:21.83\00:43:23.16
so that He could inspire
us that change is possible.
00:43:23.20\00:43:27.64
Change is possible.
00:43:27.67\00:43:29.00
And, you know, and I...
00:43:29.04\00:43:31.37
I have to say this
00:43:31.41\00:43:32.74
just because I feel like
00:43:32.77\00:43:34.38
and I know that
the particular audience
00:43:34.41\00:43:36.18
that we're talking to,
00:43:36.21\00:43:37.78
it is present truth
00:43:37.81\00:43:39.71
that God wants
to heal marriages.
00:43:39.75\00:43:41.95
It is present truth
that God wants to restore
00:43:41.98\00:43:45.45
children to their families.
00:43:45.49\00:43:47.72
He will heal the
father and the sons,
00:43:47.76\00:43:50.66
the daughters and the
mothers, He promised He would,
00:43:50.69\00:43:53.26
that's present truth.
00:43:53.29\00:43:54.93
You know, that is also
the health message as well.
00:43:54.96\00:43:57.63
He wants to heal us and
set us free from addictions
00:43:57.67\00:44:01.00
and from the
disease of the mind.
00:44:01.04\00:44:03.17
And he wants to bring
families back together.
00:44:03.20\00:44:05.64
That's present truth.
00:44:05.67\00:44:07.01
That is also part
of the health message.
00:44:07.04\00:44:08.88
So we have to
broaden that message
00:44:08.91\00:44:11.41
and include that in there,
00:44:11.45\00:44:13.08
because today Satan
is not going to stop,
00:44:13.11\00:44:16.25
but God is so good.
00:44:16.28\00:44:17.69
He's good...
00:44:17.72\00:44:19.05
God promised that He
would, that He would restore,
00:44:19.09\00:44:21.82
in the last days He
will restore families.
00:44:21.86\00:44:23.59
And that's what we're about.
00:44:23.63\00:44:24.96
I believe that
He's going to do it.
00:44:24.99\00:44:26.33
Amen.
00:44:26.36\00:44:27.70
God has blessed both of you.
00:44:27.73\00:44:30.30
You can sense the
anointing of the Holy Spirit.
00:44:30.33\00:44:32.60
You can sense
your walk with God,
00:44:32.63\00:44:34.50
your knowledge of His Word.
00:44:34.54\00:44:36.50
And that clearly comes through,
00:44:36.54\00:44:37.87
you know, your
love for other people
00:44:37.91\00:44:39.57
and desire that
those relationships
00:44:39.61\00:44:41.64
could be restored.
00:44:41.68\00:44:43.18
So someone's
watching now and says,
00:44:43.21\00:44:45.11
I want Pastor Steve and
Tammy to come to my church,
00:44:45.15\00:44:47.92
or I want to hear
this marriage seminar.
00:44:47.95\00:44:51.55
How can people
get in touch with you?
00:44:51.59\00:44:53.19
And tell us more
about your ministry,
00:44:53.22\00:44:54.92
Stamena4Life.
00:44:54.96\00:44:56.29
I think you have a
podcast too, don't you?
00:44:56.32\00:44:57.66
Yes, tell us about that too?
00:44:57.69\00:44:59.03
So, Stamena4Life
and then your podcast.
00:44:59.06\00:45:00.80
Yeah, Stamena4Life
00:45:00.83\00:45:02.36
because Pastor Steve and Tammy
00:45:02.40\00:45:04.40
can't go everywhere
unless you're in Michigan.
00:45:04.43\00:45:08.90
Okay, good.
00:45:08.94\00:45:10.27
Come to one of their
wonderful marriage retreats.
00:45:10.31\00:45:12.97
Michigan Conference has
00:45:13.01\00:45:14.34
an excellent
family life department,
00:45:14.38\00:45:17.31
Sister Gail Mitcheff
does a fantastic job.
00:45:17.35\00:45:21.18
Yeah. Second to none.
00:45:21.22\00:45:23.08
Yeah.
00:45:23.12\00:45:24.45
But that's one of
the reasons we develop
00:45:24.49\00:45:27.49
the website Stamena4Life.com.
00:45:27.52\00:45:30.23
Thank you for that clarification
00:45:30.26\00:45:31.59
that you can't go everywhere.
00:45:31.63\00:45:32.96
So thank you. Yeah. Right.
00:45:32.99\00:45:34.33
It's, now, you know, we can,
00:45:34.36\00:45:36.06
we can go here or there, but...
00:45:36.10\00:45:38.33
Okay. I'm sorry.
00:45:38.37\00:45:39.70
So this is actually
on the screen right now
00:45:39.73\00:45:41.07
for those who are listening
on radio, let's spell that out.
00:45:41.10\00:45:42.84
Okay. It is, right.
You're absolutely right.
00:45:42.87\00:45:45.51
Stamena, S-T-A-M-E-N-A,
00:45:45.54\00:45:49.01
the number 4, life, L-I-F-E.com.
00:45:49.04\00:45:53.68
That's the
website. So that's it.
00:45:53.72\00:45:55.05
That's the website. Okay.
00:45:55.08\00:45:56.42
But we develop that
because of the realization
00:45:56.45\00:45:59.82
that we can't be everywhere
with everyone all the time.
00:45:59.85\00:46:05.06
And, by the way, what we're,
00:46:05.09\00:46:07.50
one of the goals that
we have Stamena4Life.com
00:46:07.53\00:46:11.33
is not just going to
be about the Conway's.
00:46:11.37\00:46:14.07
We are, we have
00:46:14.10\00:46:16.30
like-minded
couples and individuals
00:46:16.34\00:46:19.77
who we're going to
have as resources as well.
00:46:19.81\00:46:24.08
So it's not just about us.
00:46:24.11\00:46:26.25
We don't know everything,
00:46:26.28\00:46:27.72
our 18 years to
some may look measly.
00:46:27.75\00:46:31.35
And so we'll have
people who've been married
00:46:31.39\00:46:33.49
two and three times
00:46:33.52\00:46:34.86
as long as I
said, what have you?
00:46:34.89\00:46:36.46
So Stamena4Life.com,
00:46:36.49\00:46:38.56
and that's the
reason we develop that.
00:46:38.59\00:46:40.60
And At The Well is...
00:46:40.63\00:46:43.03
Which you can also
reach on the website,
00:46:43.06\00:46:44.87
it's connected
there in resources.
00:46:44.90\00:46:46.77
And what is that? At The Well.
00:46:46.80\00:46:48.40
At The Well was
something we started this year.
00:46:48.44\00:46:51.71
Really, it was, we talk a lot.
00:46:51.74\00:46:54.18
So sometimes our
conversations are so good.
00:46:54.21\00:46:56.24
I'm just like, we
need to share this,
00:46:56.28\00:46:57.91
is all we were like,
let's just do a podcast.
00:46:57.95\00:46:59.88
And so we started a podcast
00:46:59.91\00:47:01.78
and it really
literally is us sitting
00:47:01.82\00:47:03.15
and having the
conversations that we have
00:47:03.18\00:47:04.75
about all kinds of topics.
00:47:04.79\00:47:06.65
It's not just
about married couples.
00:47:06.69\00:47:08.42
And the website is not
just for married couples.
00:47:08.46\00:47:10.73
It's for single people.
00:47:10.76\00:47:12.13
It's for anyone
who is looking to grow
00:47:12.16\00:47:16.67
and to mature personally,
00:47:16.70\00:47:18.80
interpersonally, marriage,
spiritually, you name it.
00:47:18.83\00:47:22.37
Okay.
00:47:22.40\00:47:23.74
What sort of resources
00:47:23.77\00:47:25.11
do you have
available on the website?
00:47:25.14\00:47:26.47
Well, you know, pray for us
00:47:26.51\00:47:28.04
because we are still
putting the finishing touches
00:47:28.08\00:47:30.88
on some things.
00:47:30.91\00:47:32.25
But one of the things that we,
00:47:32.28\00:47:34.45
we did a couple of years
back is we had a small group.
00:47:34.48\00:47:39.22
We had 18 couples.
00:47:39.25\00:47:41.86
Now we couldn't have all 18
at the house at the same time,
00:47:41.89\00:47:44.89
so we broke it up
00:47:44.93\00:47:46.26
and we had nine
couples at a time.
00:47:46.29\00:47:49.56
But it was called SALT.
00:47:49.60\00:47:51.97
And we love acronyms and stuff,
00:47:52.00\00:47:54.77
sharing agape love together.
00:47:54.80\00:47:57.11
And we went through a
12 week small group program
00:47:57.14\00:48:02.68
that my wife and I developed.
00:48:02.71\00:48:04.25
So we're putting the
finishing touches on that,
00:48:04.28\00:48:06.95
to make that
available for people who,
00:48:06.98\00:48:09.68
who are in
whatever their community is
00:48:09.72\00:48:11.85
and said, man,
I want to just get
00:48:11.89\00:48:13.56
couples together
and do something.
00:48:13.59\00:48:15.46
So that program is
going to be available.
00:48:15.49\00:48:18.66
We also are
putting out devotionals,
00:48:18.69\00:48:21.33
as she mentioned, the podcast,
00:48:21.36\00:48:23.60
which we talk about
00:48:23.63\00:48:24.97
communication
and things like that.
00:48:25.00\00:48:26.97
And we are also
working on videos.
00:48:27.00\00:48:29.90
We are fun loving people.
00:48:29.94\00:48:32.57
Oh, yes.
00:48:32.61\00:48:34.24
And so we, we
love to make videos
00:48:34.28\00:48:37.61
that illustrate important truths
00:48:37.65\00:48:40.18
about relationships.
00:48:40.22\00:48:41.72
And we want those
videos to be a place
00:48:41.75\00:48:44.09
where people can come,
00:48:44.12\00:48:45.45
they might be
able to get a laugh,
00:48:45.49\00:48:46.86
but also they can
learn an important truth.
00:48:46.89\00:48:49.96
And so those are going to
be available there as well.
00:48:49.99\00:48:53.26
And also we talked about
how much we love to read.
00:48:53.29\00:48:58.33
We want to book now,
you know, I'm not gonna,
00:48:58.37\00:49:01.70
we're not going to
tell you to read something
00:49:01.74\00:49:03.07
that we haven't read ourselves.
00:49:03.10\00:49:04.44
Yeah. Right.
00:49:04.47\00:49:05.81
So we're going to be
suggesting reading materials
00:49:05.84\00:49:08.24
and things for
different subjects,
00:49:08.28\00:49:10.68
any variety,
family, raising children,
00:49:10.71\00:49:13.62
et cetera, et cetera.
00:49:13.65\00:49:14.98
And we're still, you know,
in the process of building,
00:49:15.02\00:49:16.42
you know, all of those things.
00:49:16.45\00:49:17.79
So you can go to the website
00:49:17.82\00:49:19.15
and find out all
that information.
00:49:19.19\00:49:20.69
We have a donation area
00:49:20.72\00:49:22.39
because we're
doing this all ourselves.
00:49:22.42\00:49:23.96
And so we're just praying
that God sends the resources
00:49:23.99\00:49:27.36
and we can do
what needs to be done
00:49:27.40\00:49:28.86
because we really
believe that it's needed.
00:49:28.90\00:49:31.30
Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
00:49:31.33\00:49:32.67
Because Satan is
there attacking the family.
00:49:32.70\00:49:34.07
Oh, yes. Praise the Lord.
00:49:34.10\00:49:36.00
So we want to
encourage you to go to stamena.
00:49:36.04\00:49:38.17
Thank you to the crew
00:49:38.21\00:49:39.54
that's been
putting it up so much.
00:49:39.57\00:49:40.91
That's just
great Stamena4Life.com.
00:49:40.94\00:49:43.85
And we want to encourage
you to continue to go there,
00:49:43.88\00:49:46.41
'cause it sounds
like things are updating
00:49:46.45\00:49:47.78
and changing there so.
00:49:47.82\00:49:49.15
Yeah, that's great.
00:49:49.18\00:49:50.52
And they can contact you.
00:49:50.55\00:49:51.89
I'm sure, you'd
probably don't put
00:49:51.92\00:49:53.25
your cell phone
number out there,
00:49:53.29\00:49:54.62
but maybe an email or something
00:49:54.66\00:49:55.99
that would be
there on the website
00:49:56.02\00:49:57.36
that they can, if
they have a question
00:49:57.39\00:49:58.83
that they can reach out to you.
00:49:58.86\00:50:00.50
Yes. That's also Stamena4Life.
00:50:00.53\00:50:01.86
Stamena4Life@gmail.com
00:50:01.90\00:50:03.37
There we go.
00:50:03.40\00:50:04.73
So Stamena, S-T-A-M-E-N-A,
00:50:04.77\00:50:08.14
the number 4,
life, L-I-F-E@gmail.com.
00:50:08.17\00:50:12.71
Yeah, fantastic.
00:50:12.74\00:50:14.08
We want to encourage
you as well here at 3ABN,
00:50:14.11\00:50:16.71
we believe in what God is doing
00:50:16.75\00:50:19.05
in and through the
Conway's and their ministry.
00:50:19.08\00:50:21.75
We believe in what God is doing
00:50:21.78\00:50:23.28
to help restore families.
00:50:23.32\00:50:25.19
So we want to encourage
you to go to that website,
00:50:25.22\00:50:27.89
to pray for them
00:50:27.92\00:50:29.72
and to financially
support them in the work
00:50:29.76\00:50:32.96
that God is calling them to do
00:50:32.99\00:50:34.46
and to step out and
to do this ministry.
00:50:34.50\00:50:36.80
This just came in.
I want to read this.
00:50:36.83\00:50:38.87
This is a
comment, it's from Karen.
00:50:38.90\00:50:41.50
Along with the
fact that Tam looks
00:50:41.54\00:50:43.30
so much like one of
my very dear cousins,
00:50:43.34\00:50:46.27
the information that she
and her husband are sharing
00:50:46.31\00:50:48.44
is so very potent,
practical and real.
00:50:48.48\00:50:51.55
They have me laughing, crying,
00:50:51.58\00:50:53.68
and just soaking everything.
00:50:53.72\00:50:55.18
Our God is awesome.
00:50:55.22\00:50:57.49
The openness and
honesty is so refreshing.
00:50:57.52\00:51:00.76
What a blessing.
00:51:00.79\00:51:02.12
So thank you for being willing
to be authentic and real.
00:51:02.16\00:51:05.43
I think that's great.
You know, being genuine.
00:51:05.46\00:51:06.86
I mean, you know,
people can look at someone
00:51:06.90\00:51:08.26
and say, we know
they're not perfect,
00:51:08.30\00:51:09.76
you know, but yet yeah.
00:51:09.80\00:51:11.27
But for you guys
to talk about it,
00:51:11.30\00:51:12.70
that's huge.
00:51:12.73\00:51:14.07
So thank you for
that. We appreciate that.
00:51:14.10\00:51:15.77
I want to actually
have a prayer too, pastor,
00:51:15.80\00:51:17.54
before we close.
00:51:17.57\00:51:18.91
We've just got
about five minutes left
00:51:18.94\00:51:20.34
in these two hours,
which has gone by in a hurry.
00:51:20.38\00:51:24.38
But let's have a prayer
00:51:24.41\00:51:26.05
for those that
may be struggling,
00:51:26.08\00:51:27.78
lonely marriages in shambles,
00:51:27.82\00:51:30.69
whatever God
impresses upon your heart.
00:51:30.72\00:51:32.65
So have a short prayer
00:51:32.69\00:51:34.02
for those dear
listeners and viewers right now.
00:51:34.06\00:51:36.49
Okay. Let's pray.
00:51:36.52\00:51:40.90
Loving Father and God,
00:51:40.93\00:51:42.80
we come before You this evening.
00:51:42.83\00:51:44.17
And we want to,
first of all, praise You
00:51:44.20\00:51:47.90
for being so concerned about us.
00:51:47.94\00:51:50.47
We want to praise You for
creating us in Your image.
00:51:50.51\00:51:53.31
Yes.
00:51:53.34\00:51:54.68
Which means that
You have created us
00:51:54.71\00:51:56.04
for relationship.
00:51:56.08\00:51:57.41
Yes.
00:51:57.45\00:51:58.78
Lord, we understand that
we live in a world of sin.
00:51:58.81\00:52:02.12
And that means that
the very relationships
00:52:02.15\00:52:04.69
that You have created us for
00:52:04.72\00:52:07.02
are broken
00:52:07.06\00:52:09.39
sometimes to the
point where it seems
00:52:09.42\00:52:12.33
that they are beyond repair.
00:52:12.36\00:52:15.33
But, Lord, I pray tonight
00:52:15.36\00:52:17.63
for that young
man, that young woman,
00:52:17.67\00:52:20.20
that old man, that old woman
00:52:20.24\00:52:23.87
who has been living off
of the lies of the enemy
00:52:23.91\00:52:30.01
about their identity.
00:52:30.05\00:52:31.38
Yes.
00:52:31.41\00:52:32.75
I ask that they would
open the pages of Scripture
00:52:32.78\00:52:34.98
and that You would speak to them
00:52:35.02\00:52:37.55
through Your Word.
00:52:37.59\00:52:39.62
I pray that they
would accept the things
00:52:39.65\00:52:42.19
that You say about them,
00:52:42.22\00:52:44.63
the plans that
you have for them,
00:52:44.66\00:52:48.00
that they would
internalize those things
00:52:48.03\00:52:52.20
and accept Your words
as their very own thoughts.
00:52:52.23\00:52:55.00
Yes.
00:52:55.04\00:52:56.37
Lord, I pray for
those whose marriages
00:52:56.40\00:52:58.94
or family
relationships are divided.
00:52:58.97\00:53:03.48
I pray tonight for daughters
00:53:03.51\00:53:06.72
who have not
spoken to their mothers.
00:53:06.75\00:53:09.08
I pray for sons
who have not spoken
00:53:09.12\00:53:11.55
to their fathers.
00:53:11.59\00:53:12.92
I pray for brothers
00:53:12.95\00:53:14.29
who have not
spoken to their sisters,
00:53:14.32\00:53:16.49
sisters who have not
spoken to their brothers.
00:53:16.52\00:53:18.53
Lord, I pray
00:53:18.56\00:53:19.93
that that Your
Word might be fulfilled.
00:53:19.96\00:53:23.43
You promised that
You would turn the hearts
00:53:23.47\00:53:25.83
of the fathers to the children
00:53:25.87\00:53:27.30
and the hearts of the
children to the fathers.
00:53:27.34\00:53:30.21
Lord, this is a
prophetic promise
00:53:30.24\00:53:32.21
in Your Word.
00:53:32.24\00:53:33.58
And we believe that You have
all the power in the universe
00:53:33.61\00:53:36.88
to make it so.
00:53:36.91\00:53:38.38
I pray, Lord, for the husband
who needs to forgive his wife,
00:53:38.41\00:53:42.65
the wife who needs to forgive
her husband, for the children
00:53:42.68\00:53:45.22
who need to
forgive their parents.
00:53:45.25\00:53:47.36
And I pray that the
spirit of grace and supplication
00:53:47.39\00:53:50.63
will be poured
out upon their homes,
00:53:50.66\00:53:52.69
even this very night,
00:53:52.73\00:53:54.53
those who believe
they're beyond Your reach,
00:53:54.56\00:53:58.03
may they be reminded
that Jesus is called the one
00:53:58.07\00:54:01.80
who can save to the uttermost.
00:54:01.84\00:54:04.47
We thank You for
Your healing power.
00:54:04.51\00:54:08.38
We thank You that
the balm in Gilead
00:54:08.41\00:54:10.58
can be placed on
all of us tonight,
00:54:10.61\00:54:13.42
in Jesus' name, amen.
00:54:13.45\00:54:16.22
Amen. Thank you, Pastor Steve.
00:54:16.25\00:54:19.72
I have a final question
00:54:19.75\00:54:21.09
and it came to my mind
while you were praying.
00:54:21.12\00:54:22.86
We have not touched
on this yet tonight,
00:54:22.89\00:54:24.63
and it's dangerous
to ask this question
00:54:24.66\00:54:26.39
when we only have like a
minute and a half to answer.
00:54:26.43\00:54:29.03
Forgiveness,
00:54:29.06\00:54:30.40
we have not
touched on forgiveness.
00:54:30.43\00:54:31.87
Talk to us about forgiveness?
00:54:31.90\00:54:34.97
I think the best illustration
that my wife and I have,
00:54:35.00\00:54:37.14
she alluded to it earlier
00:54:37.17\00:54:38.91
in terms of
letting Jesus stand for us.
00:54:38.94\00:54:44.91
We were talking
and this came out
00:54:44.95\00:54:47.52
of our conversations
00:54:47.55\00:54:49.35
that when we have
difficulty forgiving someone,
00:54:49.38\00:54:53.52
especially for those of
us who say we're Christians.
00:54:53.56\00:54:57.16
If we're having
difficulty forgiving someone,
00:54:57.19\00:54:59.69
Jesus comes to us and says,
00:54:59.73\00:55:02.66
you know, all the anger
and hatred that you feel,
00:55:02.70\00:55:05.27
the hurt, the
00:55:05.30\00:55:07.64
frustration towards
your mother, your father,
00:55:07.67\00:55:11.01
why don't you put that on Me?
00:55:11.04\00:55:13.84
And the first
response is, but Jesus, no, no.
00:55:13.88\00:55:17.48
They're the ones
who hurt me. Yeah.
00:55:17.51\00:55:19.35
They're the ones
who deserve the angst,
00:55:19.38\00:55:21.55
the bitterness,
and so forth and so on.
00:55:21.58\00:55:23.05
And Jesus says, yes, I
know, but give that to Me.
00:55:23.08\00:55:26.69
Give that to Me.
00:55:26.72\00:55:28.06
Would you just put that all on,
00:55:28.09\00:55:29.42
but you didn't do that.
00:55:29.46\00:55:30.79
Jesus, You don't deserve it.
00:55:30.83\00:55:32.26
He says, I know, but
please give it to Me.
00:55:32.29\00:55:35.23
And as we are
00:55:35.26\00:55:36.67
in this conversation with Jesus,
00:55:36.70\00:55:38.40
Jesus says, if you can't put
00:55:38.43\00:55:42.90
the hurt and pain
and frustration and anger
00:55:42.94\00:55:46.78
and hatred on Me,
00:55:46.81\00:55:50.05
then I cannot forgive you,
00:55:50.08\00:55:54.35
because you're
rejecting the very means
00:55:54.38\00:55:57.45
that I'm utilizing to save you.
00:55:57.49\00:55:59.09
Wow.
00:55:59.12\00:56:00.46
And so what we
suggest that people
00:56:00.49\00:56:02.72
who have a
difficult time forgiving
00:56:02.76\00:56:05.09
is to allow Jesus
to stand in the place
00:56:05.13\00:56:08.10
of those who you can't forgive.
00:56:08.13\00:56:10.93
And oftentimes
00:56:10.97\00:56:12.30
that's because
sometimes the people
00:56:12.33\00:56:14.20
that we have
unforgiveness towards,
00:56:14.24\00:56:16.74
they're incapable.
00:56:16.77\00:56:18.71
You understand
they're incapable of giving us
00:56:18.74\00:56:21.08
what we need.
00:56:21.11\00:56:22.44
When they've hut us,
00:56:22.48\00:56:23.98
they're incapable
of be able to do that.
00:56:24.01\00:56:26.51
Absolutely. Praise the Lord.
00:56:26.55\00:56:27.88
Thank you, Pastor
Steve, Tamara for coming.
00:56:27.92\00:56:31.12
Thank you for
sharing from your heart.
00:56:31.15\00:56:33.46
I know you've blessed us
00:56:33.49\00:56:34.96
and I hope that I know
that has blessed you at home.
00:56:34.99\00:56:37.89
Thank you again for coming here.
00:56:37.93\00:56:39.43
And we've talked about
relationships and family
00:56:39.46\00:56:41.83
this evening.
00:56:41.86\00:56:43.20
We want to encourage you again,
00:56:43.23\00:56:45.83
open the Word of God,
00:56:45.87\00:56:47.67
form your
relationship with Jesus Christ.
00:56:47.70\00:56:49.90
How do you get to know God?
00:56:49.94\00:56:51.47
How do you get to
know your friends?
00:56:51.51\00:56:52.91
It's by spending time with them.
00:56:52.94\00:56:54.54
You can do that
in the Word of God,
00:56:54.58\00:56:56.51
for in it you'll
find wonderful treasures
00:56:56.54\00:56:58.25
and then that'll
change your own life
00:56:58.28\00:56:59.95
and the relationships around you
00:56:59.98\00:57:02.48
will also be for the better.
00:57:02.52\00:57:03.85
Thank you again for joining us.
00:57:03.89\00:57:05.22
May God richly bless you.
00:57:05.25\00:57:06.59
We see you again next time.
00:57:06.62\00:57:07.96