Participants:
Series Code: TDYL
Program Code: TDYL190011A
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00:01 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ ♪ SPEND MY LIFE ♪
00:07 ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE ♪ ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ 00:18 ♪ REMOVING PAIN ♪ ♪ LORD, LET MY WORDS ♪ 00:26 ♪ LET MY WORDS ♪ ♪ HEAL UP HEARTS THAT HURT ♪ 00:34 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE ♪ 00:45 ♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE ♪ ♪ MENDING BROKEN PEOPLE ♪ 01:09 >> HELLO, FRIENDS. WELCOME TO THURSDAY NIGHT LIVE 01:13 HERE AT 3ABN. I'M SITTING HERE WITH MY 01:17 CO-PILOT, MY SWEET WIFE -- [ LAUGHTER ] 01:19 >> I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE TONIGHT AND SO GLAD THAT YOU 01:22 HAVE DECIDED TO TUNE IN TO -- WHAT ARE WE -- 3ABN? 01:27 >> 3ABN "TODAY LIVE." >> YES. 01:29 >> THIS IS ALL THE WAY LIVE. AND TONIGHT, HONEY, THE PROGRAMIS AMAZING. 01:35 WHAT IS IT CALLED? THE SEVEN -- 01:37 >> FACES. > -- FACES OF ABUSE. 01:44 THIS IS A PROGRAM IF YOU ARE A WIFE, OR A HUSBAND, OR CHILDREN 01:50 BEYOND THE AGE OF 18, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE CONTENT, 01:54 BUT THIS IS AN ISSUE THAT IS VERY PREVALENT IN OUR WORLD. 02:01 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS. 02:05 AND OUR GUEST TONIGHT IS GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 02:08 SHE HAS A MINISTRY THAT DEALS WITH THIS TOPIC AND A NUMBER OF 02:11 OTHER THINGS WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS. 02:15 SHE HAS A WONDERFUL MINISTRY. BUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A VERY 02:22 REAL ISSUE. THE SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST CHURCH 02:23 HAS TAKEN THE INITIATIVE -- WHAT IS THE PROGRAM THAT YOU HAVE? 02:28 >> IT'S CALLED END IT NOW. >> THAT'S RIGHT. 02:31 >> AND THAT'S TALKING ABOUT ENDING ABUSE, WHICH IS WORLDWIDE 02:34 AS YOU MENTIONED. >> IT'S WORLD OVER. 02:38 TO GOD HAS BROUGHT US A GUEST TONIGHT THAT IS GOING TO REALLY 02:43 INFORM YOU, BUT WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE SEVEN FACES, HOW 02:49 TO IDENTIFY IT. SOME PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT 02:54 THEY ARE BEING ABUSED, BECAUSE IT'S THE NORM. 02:59 >> THAT'S RIGHT. BUT THIS TOPIC TODAY -- IT'S A 03:03 SENSITIVE TOPIC, BUT IT'S VERY INFORMATIVE. 03:07 YOU WILL ALL BE EDUCATED, AND WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO GET HELP. 03:11 >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> WE ALSO HAVE A WONDERFUL ROLE 03:14 THAT WE'RE GOING TO TALKING ABOUT TONIGHT. 03:16 AND IN THE SECOND HOUR, YOU'LL GET A CHANCE TO CALL IN -- CALL 03:20 IN YOUR QUESTIONS. THE PHONE NUMBER THAT YOU'LL 03:25 CALL IS 618-627-4651 FOR YOUR QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS. 03:29 THAT WE'LL BE ADDRESSING IN THE SECOND HOUR OF THE PROGRAM. 03:33 I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE TOPIC, AND BEFORE WE DO OUR MUSIC, WE 03:37 SHOULD TAKE THE TIME AND INTRODUCE OUR GUEST. 03:40 >> WE NEED TO. >> GOOD TO HAVE YOU HERE, MS. 03:44 LIZZIE CHAMBWA. >> GOOD TO BE HERE. 03:46 PRAISE GOD. >> YOU BOTH KNOW EACH OTHER VERY 03:49 WELL. >> YES, WE DO. 03:51 HE IS THE FOUNDER AND CEO OF HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES. 03:54 >> YES. >> AND YOU ALSO HAVE A PROGRAM 03:57 ON 3ABN RADIO CALLED "WOMEN AT THE WHEEL." 04:02 YOU CO-HOST IT WITH JILL MORIKONE. 04:04 >> YES. >> AND IT'S BEEN A WONDERFUL 04:08 PROGRAM, AND WE'RE STILL RUNNING "WOMEN AT THE WELL." 04:12 AND WE ARE TALKING ABOUT WOMEN IN THE BIBLE -- 04:17 >> YES, HOW THEY APPLY TO OUR LIFE. 04:21 IT'S A VERY AWESOME PROGRAM. >> YES, EXACTLY. 04:24 AND YOU ALSO HAVE -- YOU HAVE SO MANY THINGS -- YOUR HAND IS IN 04:29 SO MANY WONDERFUL THINGS. YOU HAVE A MINISTRY ABOUT 04:32 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, CORRECT? >> YES, AND WE HAVE TWO FULL 04:38 FOOD PANTRIES IN ST. LOUIS. AND WE'RE FEEDING AT LEAST 04:41 ABOUT -- CLOSE TO 500 FAMILIES A MONTH. 04:46 WE ALSO -- I HAVE A BIBLE STUDY CLASS THAT'S GOING ON IN ST. 04:50 LOUIS, WHERE MANY PEOPLE HAVE COME, YOU KNOW, INTO THE LORD, 04:55 AND ARE JUST A BLESSING THAT GOD HAS ALOUD ME TO WORK IN HIS 05:01 VINEYARD. >> AND CHURCH PLANT. 05:03 >> YES, CHURCH PLANT. IT HAS BEEN IN THE MAKING FOR 05:08 QUITE A FEW YEARS, BUT, YOU KNOW, THE LORD IS GOOD, AND 05:12 WE'RE CONTINUING TO MINISTER TO PEOPLE AND SHARE THE GOSPEL OF 05:15 JESUS CHRIST WITH THEM. >> AMEN. 05:18 AMEN. THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS WE'RE 05:20 GOING TO TALK ABOUT IN THIS HOUR. 05:23 AND I'M SO GLAD THAT LIZZIE IS HERE. 05:27 WE CALL HER LIZZIE CASUALLY, BUT LIZZIE CHAMBWA. 05:31 AND WE HAVE MUSIC TONIGHT, HONEY. 05:33 >> YEAH. >> AND THE GUESTS -- I THINK 05:36 IT'S A GROUP OF WOMEN. SO INTRODUCE THE MUSIC FOR US 05:40 TONIGHT. >> IT'S CALLED "LIFT YOUR EYES" 05:45 BY MESSAGE OF MERCY. ♪ 06:05 ♪ THERE IS SOMEONE WHO SEES ♪ ♪ SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ♪ 06:11 ♪ ALL THE SACRIFICE AND STRUGGLE HERE BELOW ♪ 06:17 ♪ WHEN THE FUTURE IS UNCLEAR ♪ ♪ AND THE ROAD AHEAD IS LONG ♪ 06:25 ♪ LOOK BEYOND THE DARKEST YEARS ♪ 06:31 ♪ TO THE SOURCES IN THE CLOUD ♪ ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES UNTO THE 06:40 HEAVENS ♪ ♪ AND YOU WILL FIND ♪ 06:47 ♪ A STRENGTH UP THERE ♪ ♪ AND LAY YOUR TRUST IN THE 06:55 MIGHTY GOD ♪ ♪ FOR THERE IS NO REST ♪ 07:06 ♪ WHEN EVIL COMES INTO YOUR LIFE ♪ 07:10 ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ 07:31 ♪ JESUS KNOWS YOUR EVERY NEED ♪ ♪ HE SEES THE TEARS YOU CRY ♪ 07:38 ♪ HE IS YOUR COMFORT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ♪ 07:44 ♪ WHEN YOUR HEART IS FEELING LOW ♪ 07:47 ♪ IN A TIME OF GREAT DESPAIR ♪ ♪ SEE BEYOND THE PAIN YOU KNOW ♪ 07:58 ♪ LOOK TO HEAVEN FOR AIR ♪ ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES UP TO HIM ♪ 08:10 ♪ AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR SOURCE OF HELP ♪ 08:18 ♪ PLACE YOUR TRUST IN THE MIGHTY GOD ♪-♪ FOR THERE IS NOBODY ELSE ♪ 08:31 ♪ WHEN EVIL COMES INTO YOUR LIFE ♪ 08:38 ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ 08:46 ♪ WHEN YOU BEHOLD A SAVIOR ABOVE ♪ 08:52 ♪ SAVIOR ABOVE ♪ ♪ HE WILL MAKE YOUR HEART SING ♪ 09:01 ♪ FIND STRENGTH IN HIM ♪ ♪ YOU WILL FIND STRENGTH OF 09:06 HIM ♪ ♪ YOU WILL RISE ABOVE ♪ 09:09 ♪ ALL THE EMPTY PROMISES OF EARTHLY BEINGS ♪ 09:16 ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ UP TO THE HILLS ♪ 09:21 ♪ UP TO THE HILLS ♪ ♪ AND YOU WILL FIND ♪ 09:26 ♪ YOU WILL FIND YOUR SOURCE OF HELP ♪-♪ PLACE YOUR TRUST IN A MIGHT 09:38 EYE GOD ♪ ♪ FOR THERE IS NOBODY ELSE ♪ 09:46 ♪ NOBODY ELSE ♪ ♪ WHEN EVIL COMES INTO YOUR 09:50 LIFE ♪ ♪ TO YOUR LIFE ♪ 09:53 ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ 10:00 ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ 10:07 ♪ LIFT YOUR EYES ♪ 10:25 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT WONDERFUL SONG. 10:28 "LIFT YOUR EYES." >> AND IT'S APPROPRIATE TONIGHT, 10:33 I THINK, THAT IT'S WOMEN SINGING. 10:36 I THINK IT LAYS THE FOUNDATION WONDERFULLY, LIFT YOUR EYES 10:40 WHENEVER YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN. 10:43 I WILL LIFT UP ANY EYES INTO THE HILLS FROM WHENCE COMES MY HELP. 10:51 AND TONIGHT THE LORD IS NOT ONLY GOING TO GIVE HIS HELP, BUT HE 10:58 SERVANTS ON EARTH WHO ARE THE EXTENSION OF THE COMFORT, THE 11:02 KINDNESS, THE CONSOLATION THAT WE OFTEN MISS WHEN IT COMES TO 11:05 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. >> YES. 11:07 >> ONCE AGAIN SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU HERE, LIZZIE CHAMBWA. 11:11 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING GOD'S 11:16 CALL. >> THAT'S RIGHT. 11:18 >> SHARE A LITTLE BIT OF WHO YOU ARE, SO OUR VIEWERS CAN GET TO 11:22 KNOW YOU. >> I'M LIZZIE CHAMBWA. 11:24 I RESIDE HERE IN ST. LOUIS. I'M MARRIED. 11:27 I HAVE SIX GRANDCHILDREN, AND FOUR CHILDREN. 11:31 ACTUALLY TODAY IS MY SON'S BIRTHDAY, SIX YEARS OLD. 11:34 SO I KNOW HE'S LOOKING FOR MOMMY RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M JUST SO 11:39 BLESSED TO JUST BE ALIVE TODAY WITH EVERYTHING THAT GOD HAS 11:44 BROUGHT ME THROUGH. I WAS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC 11:47 VIOLENCE, AND I DECIDED TO TURN MY PAIN INTO POWER. 11:51 I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ANGRY AT MY ABUSER OR MYSELF FOR ALLOWING 11:58 MYSELF TO STAY IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP FOR AS LONG AS I 12:03 DID. SO I JUST STARTED PRAYING AND 12:05 CRYING OUT, AND THE LORD SAYS, YOU KNOW, I WANT TO USE THAT 12:09 ANGER FOR SOMETHING POWERFUL FOR ME, OR I CAN HELP EMPOWER OTHER 12:15 WOMEN AND MEN AND CHILDREN THAT ARE ALSO GOING THROUGH ABUSE. 12:18 SO I WAS RAISED IN THE BAPTIST CHURCH, AND I DECIDED TO JUST GO 12:23 AND JUST, YOU KNOW, SEE WHAT I CAN FIND IN THE HOUSE OF GOD. 12:27 I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS REALLY GOING FOR. 12:29 I JUST NEW IT WAS THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE AT THE TIME I WAS 12:34 GOING THROUGH MY ABUSE, AND SOMETHING JUST CHANGED IN MY 12:38 LIFE, AND I GOT TIRED OF BEING ANGRY. 12:41 I GOT TIRED OF BEING STRESSED OUT. 12:44 I LOST ABOUT 117 POUNDS FROM JUST STRESS. 12:47 I WASN'T EATING. I WAS SMOKING ALMOST A PACK OF 12:51 CIGARETTES A DAY, BECAUSE OF THE STRESS. 12:53 >> OH, YES. >> AND EVERYTHING. 12:54 AND SOMETIMES IT'S KIND OF HARD TO COPE WITH WHAT YOU ARE 12:58 DEALING WITH, AND A LOT OF TIMES WHEN YOU ARE GOING THROUGH 13:03 ABUSE, IT CAN LEAD TO ALCOHOLISM, OR DRUGS, OR SOME 13:06 KIND OF WAY TO COPE WITH IT, ESPECIALLY WHEN NOBODY IS THERE 13:10 TO REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. 13:12 SO THE LORD -- I JUST STEPPED OUT ON FAITH. 13:15 AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY LORD, YOU KNOW, WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP 13:19 OTHER PEOPLE? I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING, 13:22 AND I JUST STARTED GOING UP AND DOWN THE STREETS OF DOWNTOWN ST. 13:26 LOUIS, AND I WAS GIVING AWAY FOOD TO WOMEN AND CHILDREN OUT 13:31 OF A TWO-DOOR JEEP I USED TO HAVE. 13:34 AND I WAS GETTING SCRAP FROM GROCERY STORES AND OTHER 13:39 CHURCHES, AND I WOULD HAND THINGS TO THEM, AND PRAY WITH 13:42 THEM. I HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS 13:45 MINISTRY, 15 YEARS LATER, I WOULD BE SITTING HERE AND 15 13:48 YEARS LATER, LIVES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. 13:51 >> AND ABOUT HOW MANY PEOPLE THAT YOU SERVICE ON A CONTINUOUS 13:55 BASIS? THE PEOPLE THAT YOU FEED, YOUR 13:57 MINISTRY FEEDS. >> CLOSE TO ALMOST ABOUT 500 14:00 FAMILIES A MONTH. >> WOW. 14:02 >> THIS LAST WEEK, WE GAVE AWAY LIKE 32,000 POUNDS OF FOOD. 14:08 AND I HAVE VOLUNTEERS THAT RUN THE FOOD PANTRIES, THEY RUN 14:13 THEIR MOBILE MARKET FOOD TRUCKS. THEY COME IN AND WE JUST FEED 14:16 HUNDREDS OF FAMILIES. WE FEED THE HOMELESS AS WELL. 14:21 WE DISTRIBUTE DIAPERS. I HAVE DIAPERS AND TOILETRIES, 14:25 PERSONAL ITEMS, THINGS THAT I CAN GIVE THE WOMEN FOR THEIR 14:31 BABIES. >> YOU BECAME ADVENTIST, 14:33 CORRECT? >> YES, ACTUALLY IN 2005, I WAS 14:37 GOING TO AN EVANGELISTIC MEETING. 14:39 I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT IT WAS. 14:41 I JUST KNEW I WAS INVITED TO THIS POWERFUL MEETING. 14:46 AND THE LATE PASTOR WILLIAM FERGUSON WAS MY MENTOR. 14:52 HE ACTUALLY TRAINED ME IN MINISTRY AND COMMUNITY SERVICE. 14:57 AND I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT WHAT I WAS HEARING. 15:00 I HAD NEVER HEARD THE GOSPEL PREACHED LIKE THAT BEFORE IN MY 15:04 LIFE. AND I WAS GOING TO CHURCH FOR 15:06 ABOUT 20 YEARS. AND I DIDN'T MISS ONE NIGHT.-pTHE MEETING LAST FOR SIX WEEKS, 15:12 AND I DIDN'T MISS ONE NIGHT. I WAS SO, YOU KNOW, EXCITED 15:15 ABOUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING. AND I HAD JUST GOT BAPTIZED IN 15:20 THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER IN A BAPTIST CHURCH, AND A WEEK 15:24 LATER, I WAS BAPTIZED AGAIN IN THE ADVENTIST CHURCH. 15:30 AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING, BUT I JUST FELT THIS 15:34 FIRE GO THROUGH ME. AND IT'S LIKE, I'M GOING TO USE 15:38 FOR SOMETHING AWESOME. AND NOW EVEN TODAY I UNDERSTAND 15:41 WHAT THAT AWESOME IS. >> I WANT TO GO BACK TO 15:45 SOMETHING YOU SAID IN YOUR STORY EARLIER. 15:49 IT'S A PRAISE THE LORD MOMENT, ISN'T IT? 15:51 >> YES, IT IS. I WAS SO OVERWHELMED, I WAS JUST 15:55 ON MY KNEES THIS MORNING, AND I WAS PRAYING, AND I SAID GOD, I 16:00 REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR WHAT TO DO. 16:04 BECAUSE MY PRAYERS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FOR GOD TO GIVE ME THE 16:09 WORDS TO SAY. AND JUST MY TESTIMONY ALONE IN 16:14 CHRIST JESUS, I WANT THAT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE'S TESTIMONY. 16:21 I WANT TO LET THEM KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS. 16:24 THERE IS A WAY OUT. THERE IS PROGRAMS AND THERE ARE 16:28 PEOPLE THAT WILL PRAY FOR YOU, YOU KNOW, THERE IS A WAY OF 16:32 ESCAPE. >> WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT 16:34 THAT, BECAUSE THERE ARE RESOURCES THAT YOU ARE GOING TO 16:36 BE SHARING WITH OUR VIEWERS AND LISTENERS, AND SHARING WAYS ON 16:40 HOW TO IDENTIFY AND GET OUT, AND WE HAVEN'T YET GOTTEN INTO THE 16:45 SEVEN FACES OF ABUSE, BUT BEFORE WE DO THAT, I WAS INTERESTED IN 16:49 WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER, WHEN YOU WERE GOING THROUGH TURBULENCE, 16:54 YOU JUST FELT THE NEED TO WITH YOUR PAIN, ALLEVIATE OTHER 17:01 PEOPLE'S PAIN. PICKING UP SCRAPS, AND I THINK 17:04 THAT'S AN AMAZING WAY WHEN PEOPLE SOMETIMES ARE SURROUNDED 17:09 OR GOING THROUGH THEIR OWN INTERNAL STORM, SOMETIMES 17:13 CHANGING THE FOCUS AND BEGINNING TO HELP OTHERS, IT BEGINS TO 17:17 SAY, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE GOING THROUGH A STORM. 17:20 OTHER PEOPLE ARE. AND TELL US HOW THAT WAS, WHILE 17:23 YOU WERE GOING THROUGH A STORM, YOU ARE HELPING OTHER PEOPLE 17:28 THROUGH THEIR STORMS. WHAT WAS THAT LIKE? 17:31 >> TO ME AT THE TIME, AS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, 17:36 ABUSERS ARE A TAKER. AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A TAKER. 17:40 I WANTED TO BE A GIVER. AND I REALIZED EVERY TIME I WAS 17:44 FEELING SAD AND DOWN AND DEPRESSED, I WOULD HEAR THIS 17:48 VOICE SAY, YOU KNOW, DO SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, THAT YOU 17:51 LIKE TO DO TO TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF OF IT, AND GIVING WAS ALWAYS 17:56 MY WAY OF TAKING MY FOCUS OFF OF MYSELF AND WHAT I WAS GOING 18:00 THROUGH, AND BEFORE YOU KNEW IT, I WOULD FORGET WHAT I WAS 18:05 ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, FEEING AT THAT MOMENT, BECAUSE I WOULD SEE 18:08 SMILES ON OTHER PEOPLE'S FACES. I WOULD SAY OTHER WOMEN AND 18:12 OTHER CHILDREN, AND EVEN MEN -- I HAVE HAD MEN CALL ME 18:15 AND TALK ABOUT THE ABUSE THEY WERE GOING THROUGH AS WELL, AND 18:20 THE NEXT THING I KNOW I FELT MY NICHE. 18:23 NOW I'M NOT A COUNSELOR. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO COLLEGE IN 18:29 MY LIFE, BUT FOR SOME REASON I JUST FELT LIKE GOD GAVE ME THIS 18:37 GIFT. AND I FELT THAT WAS MY HEALING, 18:40 JUST KEEP GIVING, KEEP GIVING, AND EVEN TO THIS DAY, THAT'S 18:44 WHAT I LIKE TO DO FULL-TIME. I JUST LIKE TO GIVE AND GIVE 18:48 EVERY DAY. I GAVE AT WORK IN A FULL-TIME 18:51 JOB IN 2006. I WAS SO MISERABLE IN MY JOB, I 18:57 WOULD CRY EVERY DAY. AND MY COWORKERS WOULD SAY WHAT 19:01 IS GOING ON? AND I WOULD SAY I JUST FEEL LIKE 19:05 I NEED TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE. AND EVEN THOUGH I NEED TO BE 19:09 HERE TO MAKE MONEY TO PAY MY BILLS, I STILL FEEL LIKE 19:14 SOMEBODY OUT THERE NEEDS ME WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, SO I 19:18 NEED BE WITH THE PEOPLE. I GOT THIS THING -- I'M ALWAYS 19:21 WITH PEOPLE. EVEN WHEN I'M AT CHURCH, I'M 19:25 SITTING THERE, AND YES, I ENJOY THE SERMONS, BUT INSIDE OF ME, 19:30 IT'S LIKE I GOT TO GO. I CAN'T SIT IN THE PUGH TOO 19:35 LONG. YOU LOOK AROUND, I'M GONE. 19:37 I'M IN THE COMMUNITY. >> IN THE HIGHWAYS AND BIWAYS. 19:42 >> YES, I HAVE GOT TO GO PRAY WITH PEOPLE. 19:45 I GIVE THEM MY CARD AND SAY, IF YOU NEED FOOD OR CLOTHING, THIS 19:49 IS WHERE I'M LOCATED, AND I FEEL SO GOOD WHEN I GO TO SLEEP AT 19:53 NIGHT, BECAUSE I KNOW I WA ABLE TO EXTEND MY HAND TO SOMEONE 19:57 ELSE, AND EVEN IF IT'S TELLING THEM EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE 20:04 OKAY. >> AND YOU ARE MOVING TO WEST 20:06 FRANKFORT, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] 20:08 >> HONESTLY. I LOVE COMING HERE. 20:11 I FEEL FREE. I'M MORE CONNECTED TO GOD. 20:14 AND I LIKE THE ATMOSPHERE. SO YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT GOD HAS 20:18 PLANNED. IF MY FAMILY WANTS TO COME, I'LL 20:22 COME. >> WHEREVER THE LORD LEADS. 20:24 >> EXACTLY. >> TELL US YOUR ABUSE STORY, IF 20:28 YOU DON'T MIND? >> WELL, ONE THING THAT I'M 20:34 EXCITED ABOUT NOW IS I FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT IT. 20:39 AT ONE POINT IN MY LIFE I FELT LIKE I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO 20:44 SHARE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT REALLY TOOK PLACE AND WHAT 20:46 REALLY HAPPENED, AND AT THE TIME WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY 20:51 ABUSE, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE WAS WHEN YOU 20:57 TALK ABOUT THE MENTAL, SPIRITUAL, AND PSYCHOLOGICAL 21:04 PART OF IT. THE WORDS WAS REALLY HARD. 21:07 THE LETDOWNS, THE PUTDOWNS, AND THE -- MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I 21:12 WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING, OR BE ANYBODY OR NOBODY WOULD EVER 21:18 LOVE ME AGAIN. AND GOING THROUGH THAT JOURNEY, 21:20 I FELT THAT, AND I BELIEVED THAT. 21:23 ONCE SOMEONE TELLS YOU, YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING, AND YOU ARE 21:28 LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND YOUR FACE IS ALL SWOLLEN AND YOU ARE 21:32 ALL BRUISED UP, AND WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY ABUSE, IT 21:37 WASN'T JUST PHYSICAL, IT WAS MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL. 21:40 I HAD TO HIDE AND LEAVE HOME FOR A YEAR TO SEPARATE FROM MY 21:46 CHILDREN BECAUSE MY ABUSER WAS TRYING TO KILL ME AT THE TIME. 21:50 I HAD GUNS PUT ON ME. I HAD KNIVES PUT ON ME. 21:53 I WAS AFRAID TO GO DIFFERENT PLACES. 21:56 I WOULD WEAR HOODIES OR OTHER CLOTHES TO I WOULD BLEND IN. 22:01 I STAYED WITH THE HOMELESS, I WOULD STAY WITH THE DRUG 22:06 DEALERS, I LIVED AMONG THEM, BECAUSE I NEW I WOULD BE SAFER. 22:09 I KNEW MY ABUSER WOULDN'T FIND ME AMONG THOSE PEOPLE. 22:13 AND I FELT SAFER WITH THEM. >> THAT ACTUALLY BUILT A 22:18 CONNECTION IN A STRANGE ODD WAY, THAT CONNECTED YOU TO YOUR 22:23 COMMUNITY. >> I NEVER KNEW THAT. 22:25 >> IT KIND OF TOOK YOUR FEAR AWAY FROM YOUR COMMUNITY. 22:28 THAT'S CRAZY HOW THE LORD DID THAT. 22:31 THAT IS SO PROVIDENTIAL. HE PUT YOU -- YOU GO TO TH 22:39 DREGS OF LIFE TO FIND OUT ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU WOULD BE 22:43 MINISTERING TO IN THIS FUTURE. >> AND I NEVER KNEW THAT. 22:47 WHEN I WENT TO THIS PLACE, THE PEOPLE TOLD ME -- IT WAS LIKE, 22:52 WHO ARE YOU? IT WAS LIKE, YOU ARE NOT FROM 22:54 HERE? YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE YOU ARE 22:57 FROM HERE. WHATEVER YOU ARE RUNNING FROM, 23:01 YOU KNOW, IT'S FINE WITH US. THEY PROTECTED WITH ME. 23:04 EVEN IN THE MIDST OF EVERYTHING THEY WERE DOING. 23:07 THEY KNEW I WASN'T A PART OF WHAT THEY WERE DOING, THEY 23:10 PROTECTED ME. AND THEY WOULD TELL OTHER 23:14 PEOPLE, DON'T MESS WITH THIS LADY. 23:16 JUST LEAVE HER ALONE. >> REALLY? 23:17 >> BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE GOD ALLOWED THEM TO KNOW THAT, YOU 23:21 KNOW, IT WAS SOMETHING ABOUT ME, AND THEY PROTECTED ME. 23:26 I JUST FELT LIKE A CUB. >> WOW. 23:30 RIGHT, YOU WERE LIKE THE ANGEL WITH THE CAMP AROUND YOU, 23:38 BECAUSE THE LORD SAID, ALTHOUGH YOU MAY BE GOING THROUGH THE 23:42 VALLEY OF SHADOWS NOW, I'M GOING TO PREPARE A TABLE BEFORE YOU. 23:46 >> YES. >> AND ONE DAY YOUR CUP IS GOING 23:48 TO RUN OVER, AND GOODNESS AND MERCY IS GOING TO FOLLOW YOU. 23:52 AND THE OTHER STRANGE THING ABOUT THAT, LIZZIE, A PART OF 23:56 THE JOURNEY, ALL OF US HAVE HAD THOSE EXPERIENCES WHERE YOU ARE 24:01 GOING THROUGH THIS VALLEY OF SHADOWS, BUT YOU TOOK A BIG 24:05 CHUNK OF YOUR EMOTIONS OUT OF YOUR LIFE TO JUST -- YOU DIDN'T 24:09 DO IT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO LEAVE HIM. 24:12 YOU JUST -- IF I STAY HOME, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME? 24:15 >> AND I LEFT HOME WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD. 24:18 >> WOW. >> YOUNG. 24:20 >> AND THAT WAS MY FIRST ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WHEN I FIRST LEFT 24:25 HOME WHEN WAS 15 YEARS OLD. AND I HAD EXPERIENCED SOME ABUSE 24:29 WHEN I WAS AT HOME. I DIDN'T TALK ABOUT THAT A LOT. 24:35 I LEFT HOME WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD. 24:40 MY BOYFRIEND WAS 21 YEARS OLE. I WAS 15 YEARS OLD. 24:44 AND I JUST WANTED TO LEAVE AND JUST ESCAPE AND FINE A SAFE 24:49 PLACE TO GO TO. GOT INVOLVED AND THAT 24:53 RELATIONSHIP AT FIRST IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS FINE, AND THEN ALL 24:56 OF A SUDDEN, COME TO FIND OUT THAT MY BOYFRIEND AT THE TIME 25:01 WAS DOING COCAINE, AND I DIDN'T KNOW. 25:03 >> OH, NO. >> HE WOULD DO THE DRUGS AT 25:06 NIGHT WHEN I WAS ASLEEP. AND NEXT THING I KNOW HE JUST 25:10 CHANGED. HE WOULD GO INTO THESE RAGES. 25:12 AND ONE DAY HE PINNED ME DOWN ON THE BED AND HE JUST REALLY BEAT 25:17 ME REALLY BAD, AND ALL I COULD REMEMBER WAS A BASEBALL BAT WAS 25:30 ON THE SIDE OF THE BED, AND I COULDN'T SEE, BUT I JUST STARTED 25:38 SWINGING. AND I GRABBED SOME MACE AND THE 25:42 NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET SCREAMING 25:45 AT THIS GUY, AND I JUST LEFT THERE. 25:49 I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING. SO I WENT TO ONE HOME, AND THERE 25:54 WAS MORE ABUSE. AND IT WAS ONE HOME AFTER 25:58 ANOTHER, BUT I NEVER LOST MY FAITH. 26:01 I FELT LIKE SOMEONE WA WATCHING OVER ME, AND I DIDN'T GIVE UP. 26:08 >> NOW YOU KNOW WHO IT IS. >> YES. 26:10 >> ANGIE, SHE IS TALKING ABOUT THINGS -- AND OUR VIEWERS AND 26:16 LISTENERS -- LIZZIE IS TALKING ABOUT EXPERIENCES THAT SOME OF 26:22 YOU MAY BE GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW. 26:25 YOU MAY BE A TEENAGER, YOU MAY BE FEARFUL FOR YOUR LIFE, LIKE 26:30 LIZZIE JUST TALKED ABOUT. AND I WANT YOU TO KEEP WATCHING 26:33 THE PROGRAM, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT JUST TELLING YOU WHAT OUR GUEST 26:37 WENT THROUGH, BUT HOW THE LORD BROUGHT HER OUT OF IT. 26:41 >> SO MANY TYPES OF ABUSES OUT THERE. 26:43 AND WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE SEVEN FACES OF ABUSE, AND IT 26:48 DOES HAVE A FACE. >> YES, IT DOES. 26:50 AND I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR -- BECAUSE WITH DOMESTIC 26:55 VIOLENCE, IT'S REALLY A TOUCHY SUBJECT, AND I LIKE TO MAKE SURE 26:59 THAT IT'S CLEAR -- AND I DON'T LIKE TO PUSH THINGS UNDER THE 27:02 RUG. BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN SHOVED UNDER 27:04 THE RUG LONG ENOUGH. AND I JUST LIKE TO PUT IT OUT 27:08 THERE, AND LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU KNOW, 27:10 WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. YOU KNOW, GOD IS THERE FOR YOU. 27:15 AND IF YOU TRUST AND BELIEVE, YOU KNOW, THAT GOD IS THERE FOR 27:18 YOU, THERE'S NOTHING THAT YOU CAN'T DO. 27:20 >> AMEN. >> I COME TO FIND OUT THAT THE 27:23 FACES OF ABUSE -- THOSE FACES CAN BE -- YOU KNOW, YOUR FAMILY 27:28 MEMBERS, YOUR COWORKERS, YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR WIFE, YOUR 27:34 CHILDREN. ABUSE CAN COME FROM ANY FORM. 27:38 >> IT'S TRUE. >> AND, YOU KNOW, WE WANT TO 27:41 SHARE TONIGHT ABOUT THOSE RED FLAGS AND THOSE THINGS TO LOOK 27:45 FOR WHERE YOU CAN BE CAUTIOUS. SO IF YOU ARE IN THE MIDST OF 27:53 LOOKING TO BE MARRIED OR DATING, OR EVEN IF YOU AREN'T, WE JUST 28:00 WANT TO MAKE SURE WE EDUCATE PEOPLE ON THE WARNING SIGNS, SO 28:05 THAT WAY IT WILL KIND OF HELP KEEP YOU FROM BEING INVOLVED IN 28:09 THOSE RELATIONSHIPS. WE NEED TO SPEND TIME ALONE AND 28:14 GETTING TO KNOW WHO WE ARE AS A PERSON, AS AN INDIVIDUAL, AND 28:19 LET GOD AND THE HOLY SPIRIT LEAD YOU INTO WHO GOD WANTS YOUR SOLE 28:23 MATE TO BE. AND IF YOU ARE WATCHING AND 28:26 LISTENING AND CONTEMPLATING A RELATIONSHIP, JUST TAKE YOUR 28:30 TIME. DON'T RUSH IT. 28:30 >> EXACTLY. >> IF YOU SEE THESE RED FLAGS 28:34 THAT WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ON THE, IF YOU FEEL THAT 28:38 SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT, IT IS NOT RIGHT. 28:40 PLEASE DON'T SETTLE. I DONE THAT -- I DID THAT PLENTY 28:44 OF TIMES, SETTLING, BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE BY YOURSELF, 28:48 AND YOU THINK IF THIS PERSON WOULD CHANGE -- IF WE GET 28:53 MARRIED, THEY MIGHT CHANGE. IF I LOVE THEM A CERTAIN WAY 28:56 THEY MIGHT CHANGE. IF I DO WHAT THEY WANT ME TO DO, 29:00 THEY MIGHT CHANGE. NO. 29:02 THE ONLY WAY A PERSON CAN CHANGE IS IF THEY ALLOW THEMSELVES TO 29:07 CHANGE, AND ONLY GOD CAN DO THAT. 29:09 >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> IT'S NOT THAT A PERSON CAN'T 29:13 RECOVER FROM ABUSE. IF YOU ARE AN ABUSER OR BEEN 29:17 THROUGH ABUSE, THERE ARE PROGRAMS. 29:19 THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN TALK TO THAT CAN HELP YOU 29:23 THROUGH THAT. YOU KNOW, WE -- I TALKED TO A 29:25 LOT OF MARRIED COUPLES TOO ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. 29:29 I'M NOT A COUNSELOR, LIKE I SAID BEFORE, BUT JUST FROM MY 29:34 EXPERIENCE OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH, I MENTOR AND COUNSEL 29:39 MARRIED COUPLES ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE. 29:41 AND SOMETIMES WE DON'T THINK THAT WE'RE ABUSIVE. 29:44 >> THT'S TRUE. >> A LOT OF TIMES WE THINK I'M 29:49 NOT ABUSIVE, BUT LIKE WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT TONIGHT, 29:53 THERE ARE SEVEN FACES OF ABUSE, SO WE WANT TO EDUCATE YOU ON 29:57 WHAT TO LOOK FOR AND NOT TO PUSH IT UNDER THE RUG. 30:02 IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT 30:06 IT. BECAUSE AS LONG AS YOU KEEP IT 30:08 QUIET, YOU ARE PROTECTING YOUR ABUSER, THAT WILL ALLOW YOUR 30:13 ABUSER TO BE ABLE TO ABUSE A LOT LONGER. 30:17 AND SAD TO SAY I HAVE HAD WOMEN WHO DIDN'T COME OUT OF THIS 30:23 ALIVE. I HAVE HAD CLIENTS WHO HAVE BEEN 30:26 SHOT, KILLED, BRUTALLY BEATEN, RAPED IN FRONT OF THEIR 30:30 CHILDREN. ALL DIFFERENT TYPES OF THINGS 30:32 THAT I HAVE EXPERIENCED, SO IT TAKES A LOT FOR ME TO ENDURE THE 30:36 DIFFERENT CASES THAT I HAVE. >> WOW. 30:39 >> AND ANOTHER THING WE DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IS DOMESTIC 30:43 VIOLENCE IN OUR CHURCHES. WE HAVE LEADERS THAT ARE 30:46 ABUSIVE. WE PASTORS THAT ARE ABUSIVE TO 30:50 THEIR SPOUSER, ELDERS WHO ARE ABUSIVE TO THEIR WIVES, WOMEN 30:57 WHO ARE ABUSIVE TO THEIR HUSBANDS, BUT WE DON'T TALK 31:01 ABOUT THAT. IT NEEDS TO BE SHARED. 31:04 BECAUSE IF WE'RE ASKING PEOPLE TO COME INTO THE FOLD OF JESUS 31:07 CHRIST, THESE PEOPLE ARE HURTING, AND THEY NEED A PLACE 31:10 TO COME TO, WHERE THEY KNOW THAT WHAT THEY ARE GOING 31:14 THROUGH -- SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN. 31:16 SOMEBODY IS GOING TO PRAY FOR THEM, TO INTERCEDE FOR THEM. 31:21 AND WE NEED TO STOP HIDING BEHIND OUR OWN FACES. 31:24 SOME OF US HIDE BEHIND MASKS AS WELL. 31:27 AND WE COME TO CHURCH AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT'S OKAY. 31:31 SOME OF US WEAR MAKEUP COVERING UP THE BRUISES. 31:35 AND WE SAY HAPPY SABBATH OR HOW IS YOUR DAY GOING? 31:39 AND WE'RE JUST SMILING, BUT HONESTLY IT'S NOT HAPPY AT ALL. 31:44 >> IT'S PRIVATE PAIN. >> IT'S PRIVATE PAIN, AND WHEN 31:47 THEY GO HOME, THEY ARE IN A WHOLE NEW WORLD. 31:51 A WORLD WE CAN NEVER IMAGINE. AND THOSE SAME PEOPLE THAT 31:54 MINISTER TO US, AND THOSE SAME PEOPLE THAT WE MINISTER, WERE 32:01 UNDERCOVER ANIMALS. AND EVEN IN OUR CHURCHES, I 32:05 WOULD LIKE FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAVE TICKING 32:07 TIME BOMBS RIGHT IN OUR CHURCHES. 32:09 >> WOW. >> THE ABUSERS ARE SITTING 32:11 THERE. >> WOW. 32:12 >> THE VICTIMS ARE SITTING THERE. 32:16 THE CHILDREN ARE BEING ABUSED, MOLESTERED, PHYSICALLY ABUSED, 32:25 SEXUALLY ABUSED. WE NEED TO STAND UP AND BE THERE 32:27 FOR PEOPLE. WE NEED TO BE THERE FOR OUR 32:30 YOUNG PEOPLE. WE NEED TO BE THERE FOR THOSE WE 32:34 COME IN CONTACT WITH. EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT PART OF OUR 32:40 CHURCH. THERE ARE BROKEN PEOPLE SITTING 32:41 RIGHT IN OUR CHURCHES, RIGHT IN OUR HOMES. 32:44 >> AND THE LORD HAS ALLOWED YOU TO BE A SURVIVOR, NOT A SURVIVOR 32:51 ALONE, BUT A THRIVER. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A 32:55 PERSON THAT SURVIVES AND PEOPLE THAT THRIVE. 32:59 THE LORD BROUGHT YOU TO PUT YOU NOW IN A POSITION WHERE YOU NOT 33:03 ONLY COULD IDENTIFY IT, AS WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT IN A 33:08 MOMENT, BUT NOW GOD HAS ALLOWED YOU TO BECOME HIS EXTENDING ARM, 33:14 TO HELP PEOPLE HEAL, TO HELP PEOPLE IDENTIFY IT. 33:17 AND WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT. 33:20 YOU HAVE ANOTHER MINISTRY -- I WANT TO SEGUE JUST BRIEFLY, AND 33:24 WHILE PEOPLE ARE THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAID. 33:26 I WANT TO HIGHLIGHT, JUST -- NOT TOO LONG AGO, WE HAD AN 33:30 OPPORTUNITY TO VISIT YOU IN ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI, TO TALK ABOUT 33:35 HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES. TELL US WHY IS IT CALLED 33:37 HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES, JUST BEFORE WE SHOW THEM THIS 33:41 WONDERFUL VIDEO THAT LIGHTS YOUR MINISTRY AND WHAT YOU DO. 33:46 >> WELL, HONESTLY, THE NAME HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES 33:52 CAME FROM MY MAIDEN NAME. >> OKAY. 33:54 >> AND I JUST FELT LIKE I JUST HAD TO USE IT. 34:00 I JUST FELT LIKE IT WAS MY -- MY FOUNDATION OF WHERE I CAME FROM. 34:04 >> UH-HUH. >> IT'S JUST A NAME, BUT IT WAS 34:07 THOUGH FOUNDATION OF THE NAME THAT THIS ABUSE WAS FOUNDED 34:13 UPON. >> WOW. 34:14 >> IT'S WHERE I CAME FROM. >> I SEE. 34:16 >> SO EVERY TIME I TALK ABOUT HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES, IT 34:20 BRINGS ME BACK TO WHERE I NEVER WANT TO BE AGAIN. 34:23 IT TAKES ME BACK AND MAKES ME STRONGER, SO THAT THE PERSON 34:27 SITTING IN FRONT OF ME -- I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY DON'T 34:30 HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH. 34:32 >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> I DON'T WANT THEM TO HAVE TO 34:35 GO THROUGH, LEAVING THEIR HOME, OR -- YOU KNOW, TO THE POINT 34:40 THEY ARE UNRECOGNIZABLE. I DON'T WANT THEM TO HAVE TO GO 34:43 TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM BECAUSE THEY NEED STITCHES, OR THEIR 34:50 HEADS ARE SPLIT OPEN OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 34:51 I WANT TO GET THEM TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CAN GO FROM WHATEVER 34:55 YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, TO GETTING THE WISDOM AND THE 34:59 GUIDANCE THAT YOU NEED, SO THAT WAY YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD IN 35:05 PEACE AND HEALTH. AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A PART 35:09 OF HEALTH. WE TALK ABOUT THE HEALTH 35:11 MESSAGE. WE TALK ABOUT BEING HEALTHY. 35:13 WE TALK ABOUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE PUT IN OUR BODIES. 35:16 BUT WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A PART OF 35:20 HEALTH. >> DEALING WITH IT AND GETTING 35:22 THAT RESOLVED CONTRIBUTES TO YOUR HEALTH. 35:25 >> IT DOES. BECAUSE DEPRESSION IS INVOLVED, 35:27 IT CAN LEAD TO DRUGS, ALCOHOLISM, DEPRESSION IS A 35:32 REALLY BIG THING. A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT I WORK WITH 35:36 IN THE MINISTRY NOW ARE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION. 35:38 SOME ARE TRYING TO GET OFF OF THE CIGARETTES AND THE ALCOHOL, 35:41 AND TRYING TO GET TO THE POINT WHERE THEY CAN JUST FORGIVE. 35:47 AND SO I'M TRYING TO GET THEM TO RELEASE THAT, AND JUST LET IT 35:52 GO, FORGIVE YOURSELF, FORGIVE THE ABUSER. 35:55 TAKE THAT PAIN AND TURN IT INTO POWER TO LIFT UP SOMEONE ELSE. 35:59 >> HOW DID YOU DEAL WITH FORGIVENESS? 36:03 >> AT FIRST I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FORGIVENESS. 36:09 FORGIVENESS WASN'T EVEN ON MY MIND. 36:10 I WAS ANGRY. I WAS UPSET, AND EVEN THOUGH I 36:14 WAS GOING THROUGH THE ABUSE, TWO WRONGS DIDN'T MAKE A RIGHT, AND 36:20 WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY ABUSE, MY FIRST HUSBAND 36:24 COMMITTED ADULTERY, HE WOULD STAY OUT ALL NIGHT AND GAMBLE, 36:28 AND I WOULD STAY HOME WITH THE CHILDREN, AND EVENTUALLY I JUST 36:32 GOT TIRED OF IT, AND I FOUND MYSELF DOING THE SAME THING, NOT 36:36 KNOWING THAT EVEN THOUGH I HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD LATER IN 36:40 LIFE, AT THE TIME I WASN'T GOING TO CHURCH. 36:42 I DIDN'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. 36:45 I STILL HAD TO PAY FOR THAT SIN. BECAUSE I WAS STILL MARRIED, 36:49 EVEN THOUGH HE WAS MY ABUSER. >> WOW. 36:52 >> IT DIDN'T GIVE ME A LICENSE TO GO OUT AND TO DO THE SAME 36:55 THING HE DID TO ME. >> NO, IT DIDN'T. 36:58 >> WOW. WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT. 37:00 >> OH, YEAH. >> WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT 37:03 IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE PROGRAM. 37:05 YOU CAN SEE WE'RE ABOUT TO OPEN UP THE SEVEN FACS. 37:11 BUT WE WANT TO HIGHLIGHT LIZZIE CHAMBWA'S MINISTRY CALLED 37:17 HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES. AND RIGHT AFTER THIS, WE'LL COME 37:18 BACK AND CONTINUE THE PROGRAM. >> YES. 37:28 ♪ >> WELCOME TO ST. LOUIS, MOVE. 37:48 WE'RE SO GLAD TO BE HERE, SHELLEY. 37:51 WE'RE IN FRONT OF THE GATEWAY ARCH. 37:53 THIS IS WHAT LEWIS AND CLARK -- THEY STARTED HERE AND 37:56 THEY WENT CLEAR TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN, AND THAT WAS IN THE 19DTH 38:01 CENTURY. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 38:02 >> WELL, WE'RE HERE BECAUSE THIS MAY BE THE GATEWAY TO THE WEST, 38:06 BUT WE'RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE TRUE GATEWAY TO FREEDOM, AND 38:11 THAT IS JESUS CHRIST. >> MAIN. 38:12 >> WE'RE GOING TO BE INTERVIEWING SOME FOLK FROM THE 38:18 HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES, AND WHAT THEY DO -- IT'S A 38:21 MARVELOUS MINSTRY, BUT THEY ARE MINISTERING PRIMARILY TO PEOPLE 38:26 WHO ARE SUFFERING FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SO JOIN US. 38:30 ♪ 38:39 >> WELL, HERE AT HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES, WHAT I DO IS 38:41 I TAKE THE CALLS IN. I WILL PRAY WITH THEM. 38:45 I WILL FIND OUT THEIR SITUATION, ASSESS THE SITUATION, FIND OUT 38:49 WHETHER THEY ARE IN DANGER -- IMMEDIATE DANGER, AND 38:53 THEN WE REFER THEM TO SHELTERS. WE HAVE CARE PACKAGES. 38:57 WE HAVE BIBLE STUDY. WE HAVE TRANSITIONAL HOUSING IF 39:01 THEY ARE TRANSITIONING FROM THE SHELTER BACK INTO THEIR NEW 39:05 HOMES WITH FOOD AND ITEMS AND DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE THAT. 39:08 WE ALSO GET THEM INVOLVED IN THE COMMUNITY TO GIVE BACK, BECAUSE 39:11 WE WANT THEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM IS NOT 39:18 THEIR FAULT. >> HIS FRUSTRATION AND HIS 39:24 ANGER, SO THINGS WOULD HAPPEN AND ARGUMENTS WOULD COME, AND IT 39:30 TORE THE WHOLE FAMILY DOWN. WE HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER. 39:33 AND IT BECAME TO ME EMOTIONAL FOR THEM, AS WELL AS EXTREME I 39:37 WILL EMOTIONAL FOR ME, SO AT THAT POINT, I REALIZED I WAS IN 39:42 A BATTLE TO DO WHAT WAS BEST FOR ME AND MY CHILDREN. 39:45 I WAS BROUGHT UP WITHOUT A FATHER, SO BEING BROUGHT UP 39:49 WITHOUT A FATHER, YOU FEEL LIKE THE MOST I WANT TO DO IS GIVE MY 39:53 CHILDREN A TWO-PART HOME, SO YOU STAY IN SOMETHING THAT IS 39:57 EMOTIONALLY TEARING YOU DOWN, WHEN ACTUALLY YOU ARE HURTING -THE CHILDREN AS WELL AS YOURSELF 40:02 BECAUSE IT'S BETTER FOR THEM TO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL STABLE LIFE, 40:07 THAN AN EMOTIONAL UNSTABLE LIFE. ♪ 40:12 >> AS I STARTED THE MINISTRY IN 2002, OUT OF A LITTLE JEEP THAT 40:17 I USED TO HAVE, AND I JUST WENT THROUGH THE NEIGHBORHOOD JUST 40:20 TRYING TO FIND PEOPLE I COULD HELP, AND I WENT INTO DOWNTOWN 40:24 ST. LOUIS, AND THE LOW-INCOME HOUSING PROJECTS AND I JUST 40:28 MOTHERS WITH THEIR BABIES IN THE COMMUNITY, AND I JUST HAD EXTRA 40:32 THINGS IN THE CAR I WOULD GIVE AWAY TO THEM AND TALK TO THEM, 40:36 AND JON -- YOU KNOW, JUST PRAY WITH THEM. 40:41 I TURNED MY PAIN INTO POWR BY GIVING TO OTHERS, AND I REALIZED 40:45 WHEN I WAS HELPING OTHERS, I FELT SO MUCH MORE PEACEFUL. 40:49 >> IT -- IT STARTED GETTING PHYSICAL TOWARDS THE END, LIKE I 40:56 SAY, HE BROKE MY JAW, AND THEN ONE TIME WE GOT INTO IT, HE 41:02 FOUGHT ME REALLY BAD AND WAS TRYING TO STOMP ME ON MY FACE, 41:06 AND FOR MONTHS AND YEARS -- I THINK I STAYED BECAUSE I HAD 41:09 SMALL KIDS THEY WERE IN SCHOOL, AND LIKE I SAY, HE WAS PROVIDING 41:13 FOR US AND STUFF LIKE THAT, SO WHEN MY DAUGHTER FINALLY 41:18 GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL, I MADE UP IN MY MIND, I'M GOING TO 41:21 LEAVE, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO LEAVE, BECAUSE LIKE I SAY HE 41:26 TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING. SO ONE DAY HE WAS GONE, AND I 41:30 JUST SAID THIS IS MY TIME TO GO, AND I JUST LEFT. 41:33 I JUST LEFT EVERYTHING. I JUST LEFT. 41:37 AND I CAME ACROSS -- I WAS OUTSIDE, AND I WAS LIKE, I DON'T 41:41 HAVE ANYTHING. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. 41:43 AND I MET HER, AND WE CROSSED PATHS, AND SHE CAME BACK AND 41:49 SAID THAT GOD TOLD HER TO GIVE ME THE PAMPHLET, AND I GOT ON 41:54 THE BUS, AND I WAS READING THE PAMPHLET, AND SOMETHING SAID 41:58 CALL HER. AND SO I CALLED HER, AND THAT'S 42:02 WHEN MY WHOLE LIFE CHANGED. IT CHANGED FOR THE BETTER. 42:06 I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP FOR GOD. 42:09 AND I STARTED TALKING TO LIZ. SHE GOT ME INTO A WOMEN'S 42:13 SHELTER, AND WE STARTED HAVING GROUP STUDIES AND STUFF LIKE 42:16 THAT. AND I STARTED INCREASING MY 42:19 RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, AND HE STARTED SHOWING ME A BETTER WAY 42:22 OF LIFE, AND THINGS JUST STARTED IMPROVING FOR ME, AND NOW, YOU 42:26 KNOW, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST IS AWESOME. 42:29 I'M HIS DAUGHTER, AND I KNOW HE LOVES ME, AND HE HAS SHOWN ME 42:35 THAT, AND I'M JUST HAPPY WHERE I AM NOW. 42:38 ♪ >> I'M THANKFUL FOR THE 42:46 PRIVILEGE TO BE ABLE TO SERVE GOD. 42:48 I'M THANKFUL FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF LIFE EVERY DAY, EVERY MOMENT. 42:52 I DON'T WANT TO WASTE IT. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE IT ON, YOU 42:58 KNOW, THINGS THAT I WANT TO DO FOR MYSELF, WHICH IS A GOOD 43:02 THING TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES, BUT EVERY DAY I WAKE UP AND SAY 43:07 IT'S A NEW DAY, WHO CAN I BE A BLESSING FOR TODAY? 43:13 >> IT WAS MY STEPFATHER THAT FIRST ABUSED ME, AND LATER ON IN 43:18 THE YEARS, I HAD -- AT 13, GOT PREGNANT, AND HAD THE BABY AT 43:26 14, AND THEN I HAD MET THIS --THIS GUY FROM DOWN 43:30 SOUTH. THAT'S THE ONE THAT -- MY MOTHER 43:32 AND MY -- AND HER BROTHER MARRIED ME OFF TO. 43:37 I WAS 17. I WASN'T OLD ENOUGH. 43:42 SO SOME WAY I STILL WAS MARRIED -TO HIM. AND HE WAS VERY ABUSIVE. 43:47 AND WE MOVED OUT, AND WE WERE LIVING IN [ INAUDIBLE ] BECAUSE 43:53 HE LIKED THE [ INAUDIBLE ]. AND HE WOULD TAKE THE INCOME AND 43:58 BACK -- EVERY -- EVERY MONTH, AND WE WERE STILL LIVING IN THE 44:01 CAR. GOT WORSE AND WORSE. 44:03 AND HE STARTED HOLLERING AT THE CHILDREN, HOLLERING AT ME, MAKES 44:08 THE CHILDREN HOLLER LOUDER AND LOUDER. 44:10 THEY WERE SCARED OF HIM. I WAS SCARED OF HIM. 44:14 AND I WAS CONFUSED AND DIDN'T HAVE NOWHERE TO GO, BECAUSE I 44:18 DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK HOME, BECAUSE -- IT WAS WORSE. 44:23 SO I JUST STAYED WITH HIM. ♪ 44:27 >> A LOT OF PEOPLE GO THROUGH PHYSICAL ABUSE AND THEY GO 44:31 THROUGH A LOT OF THINGS. MINE WAS MORE ON AN EMOTIONAL 44:34 ABUSE ISSUE, AND I DIDN'T REALIZE, YOU KNOW, GROWING UP, 44:38 YOU THINK THAT A DOMESTIC ABUSE RELATIONSHIP IS SOLELY JUST 44:48 PHYSICAL. BUT IF ANYTHING TAKES DOWN YOUR 44:52 SELF-ESTEEM. TAKES DOWN YOUR VALUE OF 44:54 YOURSELF, IT BECOMES ABUSE. IT BECOMES TO THE POINT THAT YOU 44:58 DON'T VALUE YOURSELF THE SAME, IT BECOMES ABUSE. 45:01 >> HE WASN'T REALLY ABUSIVE IN THE BEGINNING, WASN'T PHYSICALLY 45:07 ABUSIVE, BUT MORE EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE. 45:10 HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO BE AROUND MY FAMILY. 45:13 ALWAYS KEPT ME ISOLATED ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW WHERE MY WHERE 45:24 ABS WERE. AND I WAS LIKE THAT'S NOT 45:26 HEALTHY. ONE DAY MY DAUGHTER CAME HOME 45:28 AND HE LOCKED US OUT. AND MY DAUGHTER CAME TO ME AND 45:33 SAID MOM, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE NOVEMBER AGAIN? 45:37 AND I STARTED PAYING ATTENTION. AND HE WOULD GET MAD AT ME FOR 45:42 CERTAIN THINGS, AND TAKE THE GIFTS THAT WE GAVE ME AND TRY TO 45:47 HIDE THEM, OR MAKE ME PAY BY TAKING THINGS AWAY FOR ME. 45:50 AND I'M LIKE, YOU BOUGHT THESE THINGS TO CONTROL ME. 45:54 THOSE ARE NOT FOR ME, THEY ARE FOR CONTROLLING, SO -- SO I 45:59 THINK THAT'S HOW IT STARTED. >> YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE YOU 46:04 MENTIONED EARLIER WHEN WE WERE TALKING -- BEFORE WE SAT HERE, 46:08 THAT AS YOU ARE GOING -- TAKING THESE LADIES THROUGH A -- BIBLE 46:19 STUDY, AND THEY BECOME BAPTIZED, THEN YOU PUT THEM IN A 46:24 DESIMPLESHIP PROGRAM. AND THAT'S WHAT SOLIDIFIES THEIR 46:29 RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST. I'M NOT SURE WHO SAID IT FIRST, 46:32 BUT YOU LEARN TO TEACH, BUT YOU TEACH TO LEARN, SO THAT REALLY 46:38 DOES SOLIDIFY. >> WITH OUR WOMEN SUPPORT GROUP, 46:42 WE ENCOURAGE THOSE WOMAN IN FORGIVENESS, AND GIVING BACK 46:47 THROUGH THEIR TESTIMONY. WE'RE HERE AS A SUPPORT SYSTEM 46:50 TO GET YOU FROM -- FROM THE -- THE ABUSIVE SITUATION TO 46:56 A SAFER SITUATION, AND THEN WE CAN HELP REHABILITATE, AND HELP 47:02 WITH PREVENTION AND INTERVENTION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, AND 47:05 TEACHING THEM HOW THEY CAN BE THERE FOR SOMEONE ELSE. 47:08 >> WE CERTAINLY KNOW HOW PASSIONATE YOU ARE. 47:11 IT IS JUST WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU, AND WE TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE THAT 47:17 ARE FUNDAMENTAL WITH HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES, AND YOU ARE 47:20 JUST A SPECIAL, SPECIAL LADY. AND I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT 47:26 THERE ARE ON FIRE WITH THE LORD. AND YOU HAVE THAT 47:33 STICK-TO-IT-NESS. >> DO YOU EVER FEEL DISCOURAGED? 47:35 >> I HAVE MY MOMENTS, BUT I FEEL EXTRA SPECIAL. 47:39 I KNOW THAT'S PROBLEM SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE SAY, WHAT DOES SHE 47:42 MEAN? I JUST FEEL EXTRA SPECIAL WITH 47:45 GOD. I JUST FEEL LIKE, I KNOW WHAT 47:47 I'M SUPPOSED TO DO. IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN -- WHEN YOU 47:51 ARE BETWEEN -- I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO, AND WHERE 47:55 GOT WANTS ME. MY PRAYER EVERY DAY TO GOD IS 47:59 GOD, I WANT TO BE WHERE YOU ARE, WHERE YOU WANT ME TO BE. 48:04 ONE THING THAT I KNOW GOD KNOWS ABOUT ME, IS THAT I'M REALLY 48:11 ANXIOUS. I HAVE A DRIVE FOR SOULS. 48:15 I LOVE EVANGELISM. I LOVE MINISTRY. 48:18 I LOVE HELPING PEOPLE. I LOVE MINISTERING TO THEM. 48:24 BECAUSE NO ONE WAS THERE FOR ME. SO I WANT TO MAKE SURE I'M THERE 48:30 FOR THEM. BUT I KNOW GOD IS THE ULTIMATE 48:33 TOOL. BUT IF GOD PUTS SOMEONE IN MY 48:36 PATH, I WANT TO BE READY, AND EVERY DAY I SAY, GOD, USE ME TO 48:41 BE A BLESSING TO SOMEONE, EVEN JUST TO TOUCH THEM ON THE 48:45 SHOULDER TO SAY THINGS ARE GOING TO BE JUST FINE. 48:48 I HAVE MY OWN STRUGGLES EVERY DAY. 48:50 I STILL HAVE MY OWN UPS AND DOWNS, AND SOMETIMES I FEEL A 48:54 LITTLE BIT DISCOURAGED, BUT THEN I GET THIS -- THIS PILE OF 48:58 ENERGY THAT TELLS ME, DON'T BE DISCOURAGED, I GOT THIS. 49:03 JUST STAY FOCUSED. >> I CAN'T LET THIS END WITHOUT 49:07 ASKING YOU -- THERE'S SOMEONE -- MORE THAN SOMEONE, 49:12 UNFORTUNATELY, WHO IS. WATCHING TODAY WHO IS IN AN 49:18 ABUSIVE SITUATION -- AS I SAID, THEY MAY NOT BE IN ST. LOUIS. 49:23 HOW -- WHAT WOULD YOU RECOMMEND, IF SOMEONE IS IN AN ABUSIVE 49:29 SITUATION? >> THE FIRST THING I WOULD SAY 49:31 IS STOP, DROP, AND PRAY. THAT'S THE FIRST THING. 49:34 IF YOU ARE ABLE TO DO THAT. CALL THE POLICE IF YOU ARE IN 49:39 ANY TYPE OF -- ESPECIALLY F PHYSICAL ABUSE. 49:45 THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF ABUSE. 49:48 CALL THE POLICE, FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEXT LEVEL -- OR NEXT STEP 49:51 YOU NEED TO GET TO. A LOT OF TIMES THEY WILL HELP 49:55 YOU GET INTO SHELTERS, OR FIND LOVED ONE THAT MAYBE YOU CAN 50:01 STAY WITH FOR JUST A TIME FOR YOU TO TRANSITION. 50:04 JUST PRAY AND ASK GOD WHAT IS YOUR NEXT STEP? 50:08 AND HE WILL LEAD AND GUIDE YOU. IF YOU GET AHOLD OF HARRISON'S 50:11 REFERRAL SERVICES. THEY CAN CALL ME. 50:14 I CAN LEAD THEM THROUGH THAT STEP BY STEP. 50:17 IF YOU'RE HERE IN ST. LOUIS, I WILL HELP YOU. 50:24 I CAN HELP GET YOU TO THAT NEXT LEVEL. 50:27 IF THAT MEANS TO GET YOU TO A SAFE SITUATION WHERE YOU CAN -THINK AND FOCUS AND PRAY, AND 50:34 MOST DEFINITELY SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE 50:39 GOD FEARING, THAT LOVE GOD. GOD IS HERE TO HELP US. 50:45 AND EVEN WHEN YOU ARE FEELING DISCOURAGED, GOD SAYS CALL UPON 50:48 ME AND I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU. >> AMEN. 50:51 >> LIFE IS MUCH BETTER NOW SINCE I CAME INTO CHRIST. 51:00 THIS MINISTRY HELPED ME AND GAVE ME STRENGTH TO KEEP GOIN. 51:04 I STILL KNOW THAT GOD LOVES ME. AND HE'S IN HERE. 51:11 ♪ >> MY FOUNDATION WITH CHRIST HAS 51:14 CARRIED ME THROUGH EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. 51:17 KNOWING I CAN SEEK HIM, AND KNOWING HE HAS BEEN MY PROVIDER 51:21 AND WAY MAKER. KNOWING THAT HE HAS CARRIED ME 51:24 FROM PLACES IN MY LIFE THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD NEVER EVER COME OUT 51:28 OF, BUT I PRAY THAT THEY WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN WALK OUT 51:32 AND YOU CAN BE FAITHFUL TO CHRIST AND HE WILL BE FAITHFUL 51:35 TO YOU. THE THINGS THAT I THOUGHT THAT I 51:38 WAS GIVING UP, WHEN I SURRENDERED TOTALLY AND 51:44 COMPLETELY FOR CHRIST, I HAVE GAINED SO MUCH MORE. 51:46 >> FANTASTIC TESTIMONIES, WEREN'T THEY, SHELLEY? 51:49 >> YES, THEY WERE. BUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COVERS 51:53 EVERY SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC STRATUS. 51:57 IT REALLY IS PERVASIVE, SO AS YOU ARE GIVING UP, AND OFFERING 52:01 A THANKS GIVING TO THE LORD THIS-YEAR, BE SURE AND THANK HIM FOR PEOPLE LIKE LIZZIE, WHO HAVE 52:08 SUCH A PASION TO HELP THOSE WHO ARE LOST. 52:12 >> THAT'S RIGHT. ♪ 52:22 >> WOW, THAT WAS VERY INFORMATIVE. 52:25 >> YEAH. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK? 52:26 >> YEAH, IT WAS. IT TOUCHED MY HEART TO SEE WHAT 52:30 THESE LADIES HAVE GONE THROUGH, AND WHILE WE WERE WATCHING, I 52:36 SAW YOU -- IT REALLY GOT TO YOUR HEART. 52:40 >> YES. >> HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW? 52:43 >> WELL YOU KNOW, I -- I LOOK BACK AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE 52:47 IT. >> I KNOW. 52:49 >> YOU KNOW, AND THE GOOD PART ABOUT IT IS, THESE LADIES 52:52 THEY -- THEY ARE IN CHURCH NOW. >> YES. 52:55 >> YOU KNOW? AND NOW THEY ARE TALKING TO 52:58 OTHER WOMEN AND SHARING THEIR TESTIMONIES WITH THEM, AND 53:01 ENCOURAGING OTHERS, AND JUST SHARING HOW THEY STARTED WITH 53:05 HARRISON'S REFERRAL SERVICES, AND WHERE, YOU KNOW, THEY ARE AT 53:08 NOW, SO IT'S ALL ABOUT LIFTING UP AND BUILDING -- 53:10 >> YES. >> -- THAT -- THAT CHARACTER. 53:13 BUILDING UP THAT ENERGY, YOU KNOW, TO SAY, YOU KNOW, IM HERE 53:18 FOR YOU. I'LL TAKE WHAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME 53:21 TO STRENGTHEN ME THROUGH WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH, AND I'M GOING 53:24 TO GIVE THAT ENERGY TO YOU. I CALL THAT AN INVESTMENT. 53:28 >> YES. >> WOW, AN INVESTMENT. 53:33 YOU'LL ALWAYS GET BACK WHEN YOU GIVE. 53:36 >> THESE LADIES HOW DID YOU FIND THEM? 53:40 >> JUST RUNNING MY ERRANDS, AND I WOULD BE WALKING, AND THE LORD 53:44 WOULD SAY STOP HER, TALK TO HER, GIVE HER YOUR CARD. 53:51 LIKE THE ONE LADY ON THE BUS, I JUST STOPPED AND SAID I DON'T 53:56 KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT GOD TOLD ME TO GIVE YOU MY PAMPHLET, AND SHE 54:05 CALLED ME WITHIN ABOUT AN HOUR, AND WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER 54:09 NOW -- ABOUT 12 YEARS. >> REALLY? 54:12 >> MOST OF THE OTHER LADIES IN THE VIDEO, WE'RE STILL REALLY 54:17 CLOSE, EVERY DAY. >> AND THESE ARE PEOPLE THAT GOD 54:21 IS LEADING YOU TO. WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE 54:27 SEVEN FACES YET. >> I KNOW. 54:28 AND IN THE SECOND HALF WE'RE GOING TO TAKE CALLS AND 54:33 QUESTIONS. AND COMMENTS. 54:35 >> INTRODUCE THE FIRST FACE OF ABUSE. 54:37 >> THE FIRST FACE OF ABUSE IS VERBAL. 54:40 VERBAL ABUSE IS A MAJOR TEAR DOWN. 54:43 >> YES. >> I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS GOING 54:45 THROUGH VERBAL ABUSE -- THAT'S WHEN SOMEONE PUTS YOU DOWN, AND 54:49 TELLS YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING. 54:52 NOBODY EVER WANT YOU. THEY CALL YOU NAMES. 54:55 THEY MAKE YOU FEEL UNWORTHY, TO THE POINT WHERE AFTER A WHILE 54:59 YOU DON'T LOVE YOURS. YOU DON'T FEEL BEAUTIFUL. 55:02 YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NEEDED IN SOCIETY. 55:05 AND THAT ALSO BRINGS ON DEPRESSION. 55:08 ALSO LEADS TO STRESS AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE. 55:12 IT ALSO LEADS TO SUICIDE TENDENCIES AS WELL. 55:15 I HAD A LOT OF LADIES THAT WOULD CALL ME WITH SUICIDAL TENDENCIES 55:21 THAT WOULD WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF THE VERBAL 55:24 ABUSE, THE YELLING AND SCREAMING AND PUTDOWNS. 55:27 AND THESE WERE WOMEN THAT WERE HIGHLY EDUCATED. 55:30 YOU KNOW, THEY HAD PhD'S AND THEY WERE REALLY WELL-KNOWN BY 55:35 OTHER PEOPLE, BUT IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, YOU CAN GO FROM 55:40 ONE STAGE OF YOUR LIFE TO ALL OF A SUDDEN FEELING LIKE NOTHING. 55:44 SO VERBAL ABUSE IS SOMETHING THAT -- WE WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU 55:48 LOOK OUT FOR THOSE THINGS, IF YOU FEEL LIKE SOMEONE IS PUTTING 55:51 YOU DOWN OR MAKING YOU FEEL BAD, YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT 55:54 LOVE -- IT'S NOT LOVE AT ALL. AND PLEASE WE ASK -- THAT'S A 55:59 RED FLAG. >> THAT'S RIGHT. 56:01 >> YOU MIGHT SAY HE DIDN'T MEAN THAT, OR SHE DIDN'T MEAN THAT. 56:05 OF COURSE IF SOMEONE SAYS THOSE THINGS TO YOU, THEY MEAN IT. 56:08 >> DON'T EXCUSE IT IN OTHER WORDS. 56:12 >> YES. AND WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO 56:14 THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM. >> AND THE VERBAL ABUSE IS 56:18 SOMETIMES WORSE THAN PHYSICAL ABUSE. 56:20 I HAVE A RELATIVE THAT HAS GONE THROUGH THAT. 56:23 AND THE PERSON SAID THE VERBAL ABUSE WAS JUST HORRIFIC, BECAUSE 56:27 YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NOTHING. >> AND IT'S SO TRUE, BECAUSE IT 56:30 ALSO EXTENDS TO THE CHILDREN. AND I TIE THE VERBAL ABUSE IN 56:36 WITH BULLYING. I LOOK AT AN ABUSER AS A BULLY. 56:43 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND VERBAL ABUSE IS A PART OF BULLYING. 56:47 I BELIEVE AN ABUSER IS A BULLY. THEY TEAR YOU DOWN AND TO MAKE 56:52 YOU FEEL LESS OF YOURSELF. THAT'S HOW THE ABUSER GAINS 56:56 CONTROL. THAT'S THE FIRST STEP OF GAINING 56:58 THE CONTROL, AND THAT'S WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE COMES IN. 57:02 >> SMASH YOUR VALUES, SO THAT YOU'LL THINK YOUR VALUE IS 57:06 LOCKED INTO THE PERSON. >> YES, AND THE ABUSER WILL MAKE 57:10 YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED THEM. EVERY TOOL THAT THEY HAVE, IS 57:15 GOING TO COME FROM THEM. I'M THE PROVIDER. 57:18 I'M THE ONE THAT MAKES THE MONEY, THAT PAYS THE BILLS, THAT 57:21 PUTS THE ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD. >> HOLD THAT THOUGHT, BECAUSE WE 57:26 HAVE ABOUT 22 SECONDS BEFORE THEN OF THE FIRST HOUR. 57:31 THIS PROGRAM IS NOT JUST SHARING WITH YOU WHAT HAPPENS, BUT HOW 57:39 TO FIND DELIVERANCE FROM ANY KIND OF ABUSE. 57:42 DON'T GO AWAY. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE ABOUT TWO 57:46 MINUTES, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 57:47 ♪ |
Revised 2019-04-05