I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Removing pain
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Lord, let my words
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Heal a heart that hurts
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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Hello and welcome
to 3ABN Family Worship.
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I am Shelley
Quinn. I am JD Quinn.
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And we are so glad
that you are joining us.
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Tonight, we will talk
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about taming the tongue.
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You know, the
Apostle James said that
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the tongue is like a
fire and boy, is it ever.
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Honey, why don't you introduce
our family at the table.
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Our family at the table,
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this is Ryan,
Ryan Day is my buddy.
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Tim is my buddy. I
am your buddy too, sure.
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Amen.
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My best buddy is my Shelley.
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Oh, thank you.
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Welcome to our table.
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Yeah, you know,
I have to say this,
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when I was first
looking at the topic,
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I came up with 31
pages of scripture
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on sins of the tongue,
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and I'm just gonna kind
of categorize them real fast.
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Lying, that includes
white lies, exaggerations,
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insincere
flattery, gossip, backbiting,
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slander, and finger pointing,
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cutting sarcasm,
withering criticism,
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discouraging and
destructive words,
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angry words,
rage, cursing, murmuring
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and complaining
especially against God,
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insulting remarks,
quarrelsome, it striped,
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of course, joking,
and negative self talk.
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I mean, there is page upon page
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of problems that we
all have with our tongue,
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but the way we look at this
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is that since this is
such a common problem,
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because the Bible says
no one contain the tongue,
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it has to be by the Holy Spirit.
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So what we thought we do
is come up with some thoughts
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about how to tame the tongue.
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Amen.
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Let me read this to you,
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and then we're
going to do our song.
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But this goes perfectly.
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Proverbs 18:21 says,
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"Death and life are in
the power of the tongue
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and those who love
it will eat its fruit."
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What does that mean?
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The destructive
power of the tongue
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can scar a child for life.
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It can ruin a marriage,
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it can ruin
somebody's reputation,
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and it can change
your life fortunes.
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But when we think
about the life giving power,
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when we have the Word of God
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in our heart, in our tongues,
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we can spread the gospel,
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we can encourage child,
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we can do wonderful things
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to bring about
peace with our tongue.
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So when it says
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those who love it
will eat its fruit,
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if we give our
tongue, free brain,
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and we speak out
and do harm, guess what?
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It boomerangs. Yes.
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It comes back on us, doesn't it?
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So let's have an opening prayer
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and then we'll talk
about how to tame the tongue.
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Amen. JD?
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Yes.
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Father, as we come to
You in the name of Jesus,
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just want to thank You,
Lord, for Your many blessings.
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Thank You for the Sabbath day.
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Thank you for the
opportunity, Lord,
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to be able to get into Your Word
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and learn more
about taming the tongue.
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Lord, we love
You and we thank You
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and we ask this
in Jesus' name, amen.
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Amen.
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So what's our song gonna be?
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Well, as it should be,
Wonderful Words of Life.
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Amen.
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And I know if you like to
sing as much as we love to sing,
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it's page 286 in the
Seventh-day Adventist hymnal,
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that's page 286,
Wonderful Words of Life.
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Tim has moved over to the piano.
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So he's gonna carry us.
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Sing them over again to me
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Wonderful words of life
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Let me more of their beauty see
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Wonderful words of life
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Words of life and beauty
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Teach me faith and duty
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Beautiful words, wonderful words
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Wonderful words of life
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Beautiful words, wonderful words
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Wonderful words of life
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Sweetly echo the gospel call
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Wonderful words of life
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Offer pardon and peace to all
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Wonderful words of life
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Jesus, only Savior
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Sanctify forever
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Beautiful words, wonderful words
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Wonderful words of life
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Beautiful words, wonderful words
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Wonderful words of life
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Amen.
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Amen. I love that.
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Praise the Lord. I did too.
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So, taming the tongue,
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the first thing
that came to my mind
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was what Jesus had to say,
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who wants to
take Matthew 12:34-37.
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I'll take that.
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All right, if we're
going to tame the tongue,
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we've got to store up
good in our heart, don't we?
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Sure, absolutely.
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So Matthew Chapter 12 you said?
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34-37,
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trying to get there real quick.
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So I think this is
an interesting topic
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because it's one of those,
lot of people don't talk about.
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And when we were talking
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about preparing
this particular topic,
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and you had, you know,
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we had talked about what
we were gonna speak about,
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and you said, "What about this?"
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I thought, you know,
this is a perfect topic,
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because it's one of those things
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you just don't hear
people talk about often.
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Yeah.
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And it's one of
those we certainly need.
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So Matthew 12:34-37,
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and the Bible
says, "Brood of vipers,"
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this is Jesus
speaking, "Brood of vipers,
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how can you being
evil speak good things?
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For out of the
abundance of the heart,
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the mouth speaks.
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A good man out of the
good treasures of his heart
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brings forth good things
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and an evil man out
of the evil treasure
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brings forth evil things.
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But I say to you that
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for one idle
word every man speaks,
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they will give account of
it in the Day of Judgment.
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For by your words,
you will be justified
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and by your words,
you will be condemned."
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Those are strong words.
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Those are strong
words. Very strong words.
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And you know,
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when you think of when he says,
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"I say it to you for
every idle word you speak.
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If I did a word study on idol,
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it's inoperative, nonworking,
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barren, unfruitful,
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bringing about to
inactivity or destructive.
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And sometimes,
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I think people forget
that we will be judged
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or condemned by what we speak.
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So what's the solution and if,
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out of the
abundance of the heart,
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the mouth speaks.
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If we're going to
tame the tongue...
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Change your heart.
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Got to have a
change of heart, don't we?
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It's trying to jumped off
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of the scriptures
name was treasure,
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you know,
there's that treasure box
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that we've heard about
all of our life, you know,
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and that in our treasure box
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is where we keep
the important things.
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So basically, that's
what's really important to you.
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And those are the
things that you grasp first,
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let's just say that
the fire was coming.
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You pick up your
safety box, your treasure box,
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whatever, you
know, those things,
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maybe your marriage
covenant or whatever,
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and then you rush out with them.
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Yeah, that's good.
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And so here it's letting
us know how important this is.
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Yeah, there's just no
way to approach this topic
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without just jumping full fledge
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into the deep end of the pool.
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Amen.
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It's our heart
that has to change.
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That's right.
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I love that as we're listening
to the open of the program,
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hear that song that Danny sings
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it says, Lord, let my
words heal a heart that hurts.
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So we have to, our prayer,
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constant prayer has to be
out of compassion and love
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and so that's what our
heart needs to constantly be.
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I love quick wit.
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You are quick witted.
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Well, and I like a dry wit
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and I like I think
it's funny personally,
00:10:01.23\00:10:04.57
but not
everybody appreciates that.
00:10:04.60\00:10:06.90
And some people think
you're being sarcastic.
00:10:06.94\00:10:09.10
And let's be honest,
I am fluent in sarcasm.
00:10:09.14\00:10:12.34
But you know what, I
really don't mean any harm.
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I just like to be
funny, you know and so,
00:10:15.71\00:10:19.11
but as you were mentioning
those some of the words
00:10:19.15\00:10:23.55
in the examples,
the cutting sarcasm,
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you know, I have
to be very careful
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that I don't offend someone.
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Sure.
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So, you know, I
have to scale it back.
00:10:34.80\00:10:36.56
So if, as a friend of mine says,
00:10:36.60\00:10:40.97
you'd be happy if you
knew how much I was editing.
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If you don't think I'm editing,
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you'd be surprised how
much I'm having to edit.
00:10:46.01\00:10:48.51
So anyway,
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it's just interesting
to me and yes, absolutely.
00:10:49.91\00:10:51.31
So when you're saying editing,
00:10:51.35\00:10:52.68
you're talking
about mental filter.
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In my mind, yes, I'm
filtering what I am saying.
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So yeah,
00:10:58.19\00:10:59.52
but it's out of the
treasure of your heart,
00:10:59.55\00:11:01.39
you know it is the
abundance of the heart
00:11:01.42\00:11:04.53
that the mouth speaks.
00:11:04.56\00:11:05.89
So I want to be
sure that my heart
00:11:05.93\00:11:07.26
is full of compassion,
00:11:07.30\00:11:08.63
loving, and in my prayer is
00:11:08.66\00:11:10.00
Lord, let my words
heal a heart that hurts.
00:11:10.03\00:11:12.13
Absolutely.
00:11:12.17\00:11:13.50
You know, there may be,
00:11:13.54\00:11:14.87
I just have to say this
just for simplistic reasons,
00:11:14.90\00:11:17.41
there might be someone watching,
00:11:17.44\00:11:18.77
we often hear
ourselves as Christians
00:11:18.81\00:11:20.41
use that language,
00:11:20.44\00:11:21.78
you know, you hear
people say follow your heart
00:11:21.81\00:11:23.88
or, you know, his heart is pure.
00:11:23.91\00:11:26.11
And so, you know,
we know as Christians
00:11:26.15\00:11:28.55
what this means
often and then the Bible,
00:11:28.58\00:11:30.82
obviously the heart,
we're not talking about
00:11:30.85\00:11:32.22
the cardiac pump in your chest
00:11:32.25\00:11:35.29
that's making the blood
flow we're talking about,
00:11:35.32\00:11:37.33
most of the time, it's
talking about the mind,
00:11:37.36\00:11:39.56
it's talking about the
spiritual mind of a person,
00:11:39.59\00:11:41.76
the spiritual
character of a person.
00:11:41.80\00:11:44.03
And so it's interesting
as we're speaking about this
00:11:44.07\00:11:47.14
and there's this
mind as we would say,
00:11:47.17\00:11:49.27
heart, word connection,
00:11:49.30\00:11:51.31
heart, lip, heart
tongue connection.
00:11:51.34\00:11:53.88
And it makes me think of
that there's some little thing
00:11:53.91\00:11:56.24
that's hanging in ET's office
00:11:56.28\00:11:57.81
or was in ET's
office at one time
00:11:57.85\00:11:59.51
that set
something along the lines
00:11:59.55\00:12:00.88
of I wish that
I had a speed bump
00:12:00.92\00:12:03.69
between my brain and my mouth.
00:12:03.72\00:12:06.09
Right, exactly.
00:12:06.12\00:12:07.62
You know, and often sometimes
00:12:07.66\00:12:08.99
I wish that was the
case for myself as well
00:12:09.02\00:12:11.03
because sometimes we
habitually kind of unknowingly
00:12:11.06\00:12:15.66
say things, make remarks,
00:12:15.70\00:12:18.23
and we might not have
put much thought into it.
00:12:18.27\00:12:21.14
But nonetheless, the
mind is producing that.
00:12:21.17\00:12:24.84
It's a heart issue.
00:12:24.87\00:12:26.84
And so it's interesting
here that Christ in that passage
00:12:26.88\00:12:30.68
that you just read in 12:34,
00:12:30.71\00:12:32.55
He starts with brood of
vipers, brood of vipers.
00:12:32.58\00:12:36.92
When you think of a
snake, a viper is a snake,
00:12:36.95\00:12:38.82
what is the most
deadly part of a snake?
00:12:38.85\00:12:40.86
You know, it's the mouth and,
00:12:40.89\00:12:44.63
but when most
people think of a snake,
00:12:44.66\00:12:46.19
they think of, you know,
00:12:46.23\00:12:47.56
that's how a snake
00:12:47.60\00:12:48.93
that's where he
receives its main senses from
00:12:48.96\00:12:50.43
is its tongue.
00:12:50.47\00:12:51.87
And so, it's got a
deadly poisonous bite
00:12:51.90\00:12:54.90
and when he's referencing there,
00:12:54.94\00:12:57.14
you brood of vipers,
00:12:57.17\00:12:58.87
he's talking to
religious leaders.
00:12:58.91\00:13:00.51
Yes.
00:13:00.54\00:13:01.88
Religious leaders,
and we often think of this
00:13:01.91\00:13:03.48
as you know, obviously,
this is a humanistic thing.
00:13:03.51\00:13:06.61
We're all kind of
stamped with this,
00:13:06.65\00:13:08.98
kind of this fallen nature
00:13:09.02\00:13:10.62
that we're constantly tugging
00:13:10.65\00:13:12.29
and being pulled in a direction
00:13:12.32\00:13:14.42
to say and do
things that we shouldn't.
00:13:14.46\00:13:16.46
But you know, at
the end of the day,
00:13:16.49\00:13:17.93
you know, this is still an issue
00:13:17.96\00:13:19.29
that even Christians
have to pay attention to
00:13:19.33\00:13:21.93
and certainly must talk about.
00:13:21.96\00:13:23.37
Amen, because the
words of our mouth
00:13:23.40\00:13:27.47
are with the window to
our soul, if you would.
00:13:27.50\00:13:30.51
It tells us what
our attitudes are,
00:13:30.54\00:13:33.34
and what our thoughts are.
00:13:33.38\00:13:35.24
And like, I love that
sign, we need a speed bump
00:13:35.28\00:13:38.55
because sometimes,
00:13:38.58\00:13:40.58
you know, it's just like people
who talk about lust, they say,
00:13:40.62\00:13:44.62
if you see something
and it flies over you,
00:13:44.65\00:13:48.19
you can't help
that as long as you,
00:13:48.22\00:13:51.36
I mean, a lustful
thoughts tries to come,
00:13:51.39\00:13:54.03
you have to pray
about it, get rid of it,
00:13:54.06\00:13:57.10
but you don't
want to let it nest,
00:13:57.13\00:13:59.80
but If you've got a
thought in your mind
00:13:59.83\00:14:02.20
and you let it out too fast,
00:14:02.24\00:14:04.51
once a word is out there,
00:14:04.54\00:14:06.17
there is power of life
and death of the tongue.
00:14:06.21\00:14:08.41
Oh, yeah.
00:14:08.44\00:14:09.78
And somebody get sensitive,
00:14:09.81\00:14:11.25
you could scar
them for a long time.
00:14:11.28\00:14:14.65
It really be interesting
you know, for a while,
00:14:14.68\00:14:16.48
there's 25 different
issues that you just read up
00:14:16.52\00:14:22.72
to starting with lying,
00:14:22.76\00:14:24.09
white lies
etcetera and etcetera.
00:14:24.13\00:14:25.59
Boy, it'd be
interesting when you said,
00:14:25.63\00:14:28.40
"Boy, I need to
work on my sarcasm."
00:14:28.43\00:14:31.80
That's on here. Yeah.
00:14:31.83\00:14:33.17
Okay. Oh, yeah, don't remind me.
00:14:33.20\00:14:34.54
And, boy, all of a
sudden, you looked in it,
00:14:34.57\00:14:38.11
wow, that could be me there,
00:14:38.14\00:14:39.91
that could be me
there, that could be me there.
00:14:39.94\00:14:42.74
Murmuring and
complaining from it.
00:14:42.78\00:14:45.28
It doesn't have to
seem like a big thing.
00:14:45.31\00:14:48.25
Right. It's right there.
00:14:48.28\00:14:49.62
I mean, these are things
that we all need to work on.
00:14:49.65\00:14:51.85
Yeah.
00:14:51.89\00:14:53.22
So we want to then know that
00:14:53.25\00:14:56.12
we have to store
up good in our heart,
00:14:56.16\00:14:59.49
but the next thing we have to do
00:14:59.53\00:15:02.00
is purposefully guard our mouth.
00:15:02.03\00:15:07.10
Who wants to
take Proverbs 21:23?
00:15:07.30\00:15:10.97
I'm just going to say it,
00:15:11.01\00:15:12.34
"Whoever guards
his mouth and tongue
00:15:12.37\00:15:14.48
keeps his soul from troubles."
00:15:14.51\00:15:17.88
And go ahead read 1 Peter 3:10
00:15:17.91\00:15:19.68
'cause it's New
Testament in, oh, this is good.
00:15:19.71\00:15:22.45
"For he who would love
life and see good days,
00:15:22.48\00:15:25.89
let him refrain
his tongue from evil
00:15:25.92\00:15:28.76
and his lips
from speaking deceit."
00:15:28.79\00:15:30.96
You talk about a recipe,
that's a good one right there,
00:15:30.99\00:15:33.63
he who would love
life and see good days.
00:15:33.66\00:15:36.06
Who wouldn't want to
love life and see good days?
00:15:36.10\00:15:39.60
Let him refrain
his tongue from evil
00:15:39.63\00:15:41.07
and his lips
from speaking deceit.
00:15:41.10\00:15:43.20
You know, the Psalm 141:3,
00:15:43.24\00:15:48.74
Psalm 141:3,
00:15:48.78\00:15:51.15
"I used to pray that
over my life every day,
00:15:51.18\00:15:56.25
set a guard at the
doorpost of my lips, oh Lord,
00:15:56.28\00:16:00.72
and keep watch over
the door of my lips."
00:16:00.76\00:16:04.59
And I have
somewhere along the line
00:16:04.63\00:16:08.96
ceased to pray that
00:16:09.00\00:16:10.33
but after researching
and going into this topic,
00:16:10.37\00:16:13.90
I've decided, you know,
00:16:13.94\00:16:15.27
that's a good thing
to be praying every day
00:16:15.30\00:16:17.64
'cause, you know, we
feel like as a Christian,
00:16:17.67\00:16:20.98
I would never
purposefully hurt anybody.
00:16:21.01\00:16:23.88
You know, I would be
very careful not to lie.
00:16:23.91\00:16:28.85
There's things that we
feel like we have control of,
00:16:28.88\00:16:33.22
but we're not always
aware of what we say and do,
00:16:33.25\00:16:38.96
how it affects other
people, so the Holy Spirit,
00:16:38.99\00:16:42.30
when we say set a
guard over our mouth.
00:16:42.33\00:16:45.27
Sure.
00:16:45.30\00:16:46.63
That's the Holy Spirit.
00:16:46.67\00:16:48.00
It's a spirit of
self control, isn't it?
00:16:48.04\00:16:49.57
And that's one of the
gifts of the Holy Spirit.
00:16:49.60\00:16:52.07
Right. It's a
spirit of self control.
00:16:52.11\00:16:53.91
Absolutely, and let me
read this very quickly,
00:16:53.94\00:16:55.98
take it on down
00:16:56.01\00:16:57.35
to follow up what
we're saying here,
00:16:57.38\00:16:58.71
well, how do we do this?
00:16:58.75\00:17:00.08
Yeah.
00:17:00.12\00:17:01.45
And it says, you
just read 1 Peter 3:10.
00:17:01.48\00:17:04.35
Now I am gonna take
it down to verse 12.
00:17:04.39\00:17:06.82
"For the eyes of the
Lord are on the righteous,
00:17:06.86\00:17:10.19
and His ears are
open to our prayers.
00:17:10.23\00:17:14.00
But the face of the Lord
is against those who do evil."
00:17:14.03\00:17:17.50
So you know, if our
heart, if we're sitting here,
00:17:17.53\00:17:19.43
and we say that
there's an issue here
00:17:19.47\00:17:21.54
that we
probably could do better,
00:17:21.57\00:17:23.77
and we can lift it up to Him,
and He has the ears to hear.
00:17:23.81\00:17:27.74
Amen.
00:17:27.78\00:17:29.11
He cares and He's
going to assist us.
00:17:29.14\00:17:31.08
And so this is not
if you find yourself
00:17:31.11\00:17:34.28
murmuring and complaining.
00:17:34.32\00:17:36.35
That's not who you are,
00:17:36.38\00:17:37.72
that doesn't define who you are.
00:17:37.75\00:17:39.65
You can make the
necessary changes,
00:17:39.69\00:17:42.12
and you've got
assistance in doing it.
00:17:42.16\00:17:43.93
Right. Amen.
00:17:43.96\00:17:45.36
I think it's
fantastic. That's right, sure.
00:17:45.39\00:17:47.06
I think, I heard a
story just recently,
00:17:47.10\00:17:51.77
a gentleman is talking
about, it's a longer story,
00:17:51.80\00:17:54.80
but I'll just,
the punch line was,
00:17:54.84\00:17:57.44
it's easier and
this applies again to me,
00:17:57.47\00:18:00.48
it's easier to
be clever than kind.
00:18:00.51\00:18:04.75
Again, it goes
back to my sarcasm
00:18:04.78\00:18:08.22
whenever some situation happens,
00:18:08.25\00:18:10.99
it's always easy to try
00:18:11.02\00:18:12.49
to make a joke
out of it or you know,
00:18:12.52\00:18:15.46
and that might
again hurt someone,
00:18:15.49\00:18:18.93
so it's easier
for me to be clever.
00:18:18.96\00:18:20.70
I can think, oh,
that this would be
00:18:20.73\00:18:22.06
a good punch line for
that, for your situation.
00:18:22.10\00:18:23.77
Yes, yes.
00:18:23.80\00:18:25.13
But how about if I try kindness?
00:18:25.17\00:18:26.57
Well, that's harder.
00:18:26.60\00:18:27.94
I've actually
got to be, you know,
00:18:27.97\00:18:30.11
get past my little sarcastic,
00:18:30.14\00:18:32.97
my little wanting
to be the class clown
00:18:33.01\00:18:35.34
or, you know,
make everybody laugh,
00:18:35.38\00:18:37.91
because sometimes
it's just not appropriate.
00:18:37.95\00:18:39.68
I mean, it's fun for everybody
00:18:39.71\00:18:41.68
to be, you know, happy
00:18:41.72\00:18:43.18
and make light of some things,
00:18:43.22\00:18:44.75
even especially if it's me,
00:18:44.79\00:18:46.15
I can make jokes of myself,
00:18:46.19\00:18:48.79
but so all that to say,
00:18:48.82\00:18:52.43
keeping our heart and our mind,
00:18:52.46\00:18:54.96
exactly what you
said in that verse 12,
00:18:55.00\00:18:57.90
I like that.
00:18:57.93\00:18:59.27
For they ask Lord,
they're on the righteous.
00:18:59.30\00:19:00.64
Yeah. That's right.
00:19:00.67\00:19:02.00
But on the flip side there,
00:19:02.04\00:19:03.37
you know, you
can't take it too far
00:19:03.41\00:19:04.74
because one of the
issues that we deal with
00:19:04.77\00:19:06.11
is insincere flattery.
00:19:06.14\00:19:07.58
So you could have
turned that around, you see
00:19:07.61\00:19:09.64
and maybe
exaggerated the other side.
00:19:09.68\00:19:13.01
Oh, you just look so wonderful.
00:19:13.05\00:19:17.32
My God, he didn't brush today,
00:19:17.35\00:19:19.02
you don't want to sit there
00:19:19.05\00:19:20.39
and they haven't
bathed in three days
00:19:20.42\00:19:21.76
and you know that,
hey, wait a minute here,
00:19:21.79\00:19:23.63
here's an issue.
00:19:23.66\00:19:24.99
So what we're looking for
here and this is where at least,
00:19:25.03\00:19:30.10
I think that my God list,
to me he's looking for balance.
00:19:30.13\00:19:32.83
Sure. You know, so.
00:19:32.87\00:19:35.07
You know, and I'm
gonna tell myself right now,
00:19:35.10\00:19:37.64
I think that my main problem
in that list is murmuring.
00:19:37.67\00:19:43.98
And this is horrid,
but, but I hate a whiner.
00:19:44.01\00:19:49.68
I don't like to be
around whining people.
00:19:49.72\00:19:52.49
But I find myself sometimes
00:19:52.52\00:19:54.46
when I've overbooked myself
and we're traveling a lot.
00:19:54.49\00:19:59.19
You're working hard
and you just go for months
00:19:59.23\00:20:01.63
on the end without a day off,
00:20:01.66\00:20:04.00
that I start
murmuring and complaining about,
00:20:04.03\00:20:07.00
well, I've got to do this
or we've got to go somewhere.
00:20:07.04\00:20:11.17
And, you know,
00:20:11.21\00:20:12.54
then I catch
myself and I'll say,
00:20:12.57\00:20:14.14
"Oh, Lord, thank you
that I've got the opportunity
00:20:14.18\00:20:16.75
that I get to go to this
00:20:16.78\00:20:19.05
'cause once you get there,
00:20:19.08\00:20:20.52
you're always happy to minister.
00:20:20.55\00:20:23.28
It's just the travel.
00:20:23.32\00:20:24.65
People don't understand
sometimes how, you know,
00:20:24.69\00:20:29.39
if you have a job
where you travel alot,
00:20:29.42\00:20:31.79
sometimes the hassle of
travel is just overwhelming
00:20:31.83\00:20:35.13
if you're starting off
your trip tired, right?
00:20:35.16\00:20:38.20
So that's where
I've got to zip my lip,
00:20:38.23\00:20:42.20
you know, just put a
little lock on it here
00:20:42.24\00:20:44.91
and bridle my tongue
00:20:45.11\00:20:46.61
because I can't complain about
00:20:46.64\00:20:51.45
what God has asked me to do.
00:20:51.48\00:20:53.48
Sometimes I think we overbook
00:20:53.52\00:20:55.22
and He hasn't asked us
to do all of that though.
00:20:55.25\00:20:58.22
All right, so, Honey,
why don't you take James 126
00:20:58.25\00:21:02.72
'cause if we're
going to guard the mouth,
00:21:02.76\00:21:06.03
we've got to keep it
tight rein on our tongue.
00:21:06.06\00:21:09.33
What does James have to say?
00:21:09.36\00:21:10.70
Boy, and he's talking to a
lot of us right now, he says,
00:21:10.73\00:21:13.17
"If anyone among you
think he is religious
00:21:13.20\00:21:17.41
and does not bridle his tongue,
but deceives his own heart.
00:21:17.44\00:21:22.41
This one's religion is useless.
00:21:22.44\00:21:26.75
Boy, Lord, please help me.
00:21:26.78\00:21:32.02
Yeah.
00:21:32.05\00:21:33.46
Because it's so
easy, it's so easy,
00:21:33.49\00:21:35.82
number one, we
have an enemy out there
00:21:35.86\00:21:37.46
that's just
setting everything up
00:21:37.49\00:21:38.89
that he possibly
can for deception
00:21:38.93\00:21:41.56
and here, you know,
00:21:41.60\00:21:42.93
you can just be
self deceived here,
00:21:42.96\00:21:45.20
and if something could
come out of your mouth so quick,
00:21:45.23\00:21:48.97
that you would
say," Oops, do over."
00:21:49.00\00:21:51.01
You know, and the older I get,
00:21:51.04\00:21:53.34
I don't think there's
anything wrong with that.
00:21:53.38\00:21:54.88
If I were to say
something to Ryan
00:21:54.91\00:21:57.08
that maybe I said nice
00:21:57.11\00:21:58.71
because the dog
bit me this morning,
00:21:58.75\00:22:02.02
you know, Ryan,
I didn't mean that,
00:22:02.05\00:22:04.55
and that's something I
think we need to work on.
00:22:04.59\00:22:06.96
Sure. Yeah, absolutely.
00:22:06.99\00:22:09.16
You know, I'm thinking
while we're going through
00:22:09.19\00:22:10.53
some of these texts.
00:22:10.56\00:22:13.73
First of all back to
00:22:13.76\00:22:15.83
how we can
respond to this problem.
00:22:15.86\00:22:19.63
It says we must
bridle the tongue.
00:22:19.67\00:22:21.87
And to bridle the tongue
means to obviously restrain it.
00:22:21.90\00:22:25.67
You want to
have control over it.
00:22:25.71\00:22:27.31
You don't want to, you know,
00:22:27.34\00:22:29.34
just allow yourself to
just say any old thing,
00:22:29.38\00:22:31.78
but to allow yourself
00:22:31.81\00:22:33.15
to have some type of
self control in that area.
00:22:33.18\00:22:34.85
But I think the key to that also
00:22:34.88\00:22:36.79
in order to be able to bridle
00:22:36.82\00:22:38.15
or control that
tongue is found in,
00:22:38.19\00:22:40.16
actually in the
verse that you just read,
00:22:40.19\00:22:41.92
Psalm 141:3, notice how it says,
00:22:41.96\00:22:45.19
"Set a guard, oh,
Lord, on my mouth."
00:22:45.23\00:22:49.50
You know, we
can try all day long
00:22:49.53\00:22:51.90
and I'm certainly not trying
00:22:51.93\00:22:53.27
to take the
responsibility off of us
00:22:53.30\00:22:55.24
'cause we do
have a responsibility.
00:22:55.27\00:22:57.57
We don't want to, you
know, downplay that at all.
00:22:57.61\00:22:59.97
I think that, you know,
sometimes Christians try to use
00:23:00.01\00:23:02.98
that as an excuse to say,
00:23:03.01\00:23:04.35
"Well, I just can't help myself,
00:23:04.38\00:23:05.71
you know, to sin."
00:23:05.75\00:23:07.08
You know, you got
an excuse for sin,
00:23:07.12\00:23:08.45
you know, well,
00:23:08.48\00:23:09.82
it's, it's my
nature, I can't help,
00:23:09.85\00:23:11.19
but it's just
something that I do,
00:23:11.22\00:23:12.55
something I sin is
constant as breathing,
00:23:12.59\00:23:13.92
but the Lord, you
know, He has grace on me.
00:23:13.96\00:23:16.09
Oh, He made me like this.
00:23:16.12\00:23:17.46
Right, He made it.
00:23:17.49\00:23:19.36
Yeah, I inherited
this fallen nature
00:23:19.39\00:23:21.26
from Adam and therefore,
00:23:21.30\00:23:22.63
you know, I can't help it.
00:23:22.66\00:23:24.53
I'm a backbiter, I'm a
liar, I'm this, I'm that.
00:23:24.57\00:23:27.27
But at the same time,
we also have to realize
00:23:27.30\00:23:29.87
that in order to
gain complete victory
00:23:29.90\00:23:31.51
over something like this,
00:23:31.54\00:23:33.38
it does take us
humbling ourselves
00:23:33.41\00:23:36.08
in God's
presence and saying Lord,
00:23:36.11\00:23:39.91
"Only You and I think, you know,
00:23:39.95\00:23:41.98
a lot of us including myself,
00:23:42.02\00:23:43.45
I have to throw
myself in here all of us.
00:23:43.49\00:23:44.85
I think a lot of us
00:23:44.89\00:23:46.22
need to have an
Isaiah conversion experience.
00:23:46.25\00:23:47.96
Oh, amen.
00:23:47.99\00:23:49.32
I think that go back
to Isaiah's conversion
00:23:49.36\00:23:50.89
in Isaiah Chapter 6.
00:23:50.93\00:23:52.39
He saw God
sitting on His throne,
00:23:52.43\00:23:54.10
he saw God's righteousness.
00:23:54.13\00:23:55.86
In God's
righteousness, there is no sin.
00:23:55.90\00:23:58.33
There is no lying.
There is no backbiting.
00:23:58.37\00:24:00.47
There is no, you
know, exaggeration.
00:24:00.50\00:24:02.17
There is no sarcasm.
00:24:02.20\00:24:03.54
There is no...
00:24:03.57\00:24:04.91
He saw God's righteousness
and then he looked at himself
00:24:04.94\00:24:06.68
and he saw his filthiness,
00:24:06.71\00:24:08.44
and then outcomes the confession
00:24:08.48\00:24:10.68
and the
repentance, woe is me, Lord,
00:24:10.71\00:24:13.38
because I'm a
man of unclean lips.
00:24:13.42\00:24:16.52
And what was the
response of his confession?
00:24:16.55\00:24:18.25
His repentance.
00:24:18.29\00:24:19.62
The angel grabbed the
coal from of the altar,
00:24:19.65\00:24:22.72
and went and touched his lips.
00:24:22.76\00:24:24.09
And he was,
00:24:24.13\00:24:25.93
that's an action of forgiveness.
00:24:25.96\00:24:27.66
He was forgiven
and he was cleansed,
00:24:27.70\00:24:29.86
and that's I
think we have to realize
00:24:29.90\00:24:31.63
and we have to reach a state
00:24:31.67\00:24:34.50
where we're in a balanced state,
00:24:34.54\00:24:36.50
it's not,
00:24:36.54\00:24:37.87
you're not so far
left or so far right.
00:24:37.91\00:24:39.74
The far left is gonna say,
00:24:39.77\00:24:41.11
"Well, you know, I
just can't help it.
00:24:41.14\00:24:42.48
You know, that's just who I am."
00:24:42.51\00:24:44.08
The far right is
gonna say, you know,
00:24:44.11\00:24:45.45
"I've got to wide
knuckle this thing
00:24:45.48\00:24:46.82
all by myself to
try to get through it."
00:24:46.85\00:24:48.85
Because I can make myself
you know, be a better person
00:24:48.88\00:24:51.92
and not say these
things and do these things.
00:24:51.95\00:24:54.29
I think we have
to find the balance
00:24:54.32\00:24:55.66
and realize that it's our
job to surrender it to the Lord.
00:24:55.69\00:24:59.36
It's our job to
surrender our will
00:24:59.39\00:25:00.73
to Him to recognize that,
00:25:00.76\00:25:02.30
yes, we do have somewhat
of a control in the sense
00:25:02.33\00:25:04.80
that we have a mind.
00:25:04.83\00:25:06.17
He has given us free
will and free choice.
00:25:06.20\00:25:07.87
But in order for us
to be able to exercise
00:25:07.90\00:25:09.74
that free will and free choice,
00:25:09.77\00:25:11.41
we have to be
dependent on what did he say,
00:25:11.44\00:25:13.51
Oh, Lord,
safeguard, oh, Lord, my mouth.
00:25:13.54\00:25:15.64
We have to go and say,
Lord, I'm a man of unclean lips.
00:25:15.68\00:25:18.71
I need you to cleanse me, God,
00:25:18.75\00:25:20.28
I need Your power
to help me overcome.
00:25:20.32\00:25:22.85
That's the bottom line. Yeah.
00:25:22.88\00:25:24.29
I think also,
00:25:24.32\00:25:27.12
we need to be
aware of circumstances
00:25:27.16\00:25:32.03
that are displeasing
to the Lord in situations.
00:25:32.06\00:25:35.80
For example,
00:25:35.83\00:25:38.17
and just forgive
me for saying this,
00:25:38.20\00:25:39.80
but in the church,
probably the, yeah,
00:25:39.83\00:25:43.81
bridle your tongue Shelley,
00:25:43.84\00:25:45.64
Everybody's in here
doing like, but in the church,
00:25:45.67\00:25:49.94
I think the, you know,
you don't hear people cursing.
00:25:49.98\00:25:53.38
You don't hear many angry words.
00:25:53.42\00:25:56.99
There's, I
certainly would be shocked
00:25:57.02\00:25:59.02
if somebody was lying.
00:25:59.05\00:26:00.62
But what you do see
00:26:00.66\00:26:03.43
is gossip and the murmur mill,
00:26:03.46\00:26:07.76
and sometimes
people come to you,
00:26:07.80\00:26:11.97
in the guise of,
this is a prayer request.
00:26:12.00\00:26:16.91
Let me share this with you,
we need to pray for so and so.
00:26:16.94\00:26:20.24
Now gossip, it takes two people,
00:26:20.28\00:26:22.54
it takes one
talking and one listening.
00:26:22.58\00:26:26.08
And it's, you know,
00:26:26.11\00:26:27.68
when you think about
gossip, it's garbage in.
00:26:27.72\00:26:31.99
And when you've got gossip,
00:26:32.02\00:26:33.62
if you're letting somebody
dump garbage in your ears,
00:26:33.66\00:26:37.96
it's more than just
guarding your mouth.
00:26:37.99\00:26:39.93
You got to guard your ears.
00:26:39.96\00:26:41.76
Some people want
to be in the know,
00:26:41.80\00:26:44.40
so they're just like, you know,
somebody is telling something,
00:26:44.43\00:26:46.84
they say, what, what?
00:26:46.87\00:26:48.44
And then some people are
really out to be malicious.
00:26:48.47\00:26:52.64
But let's look at Proverbs 11:13
00:26:52.67\00:26:58.25
because this lets you know
00:26:58.28\00:27:01.58
what God thinks of it.
00:27:01.62\00:27:03.72
Proverbs 11:13, "A
tale bearer reveals secrets.
00:27:03.75\00:27:08.62
But he who is of
a faithful spirit
00:27:08.66\00:27:11.29
conceals the matter."
00:27:11.33\00:27:14.73
And this is the
most powerful one.
00:27:14.76\00:27:16.77
But the reason I
chose this one is
00:27:16.80\00:27:20.17
let me give you,
00:27:20.20\00:27:22.10
if you know
somebody, you know, I remember
00:27:22.14\00:27:24.14
and I'm gonna talk about
my precious mother-in-law
00:27:24.17\00:27:27.11
who is resting in
the Lord right now,
00:27:27.14\00:27:29.74
precious woman of God.
00:27:29.78\00:27:32.25
But we get on the phone,
00:27:32.28\00:27:33.62
and she'd be talking
about somebody in the family.
00:27:33.65\00:27:35.58
And so one day I said,
00:27:35.62\00:27:36.95
Mom, we gotta quit
this, this is gossiping.
00:27:36.99\00:27:38.52
She said, "You're right.
00:27:38.55\00:27:39.89
We're not going
to do this anymore."
00:27:39.92\00:27:41.69
And we'd start off
on the next conversation
00:27:41.72\00:27:44.36
the next day would be talking,
and then she'd be saying,
00:27:44.39\00:27:46.66
"Well, you know what they did."
00:27:46.70\00:27:49.00
And I just be going, blah-blah.
00:27:49.03\00:27:52.30
It's so easy to fall into that.
00:27:52.33\00:27:55.10
But if somebody comes to you,
00:27:55.14\00:27:59.11
who is a gossip, you know,
00:27:59.14\00:28:01.38
they're going to
tempt you to listen.
00:28:01.41\00:28:03.55
Here's four questions
that I want to give you.
00:28:03.58\00:28:06.88
This is how to guard your ears.
00:28:06.92\00:28:09.98
Ask them, why are
you telling me this?
00:28:10.02\00:28:14.22
Do you know for a
fact that this is true?
00:28:14.26\00:28:18.43
What is the source
of your information?
00:28:18.46\00:28:22.03
And the one
that'll really get them,
00:28:22.06\00:28:23.93
may I quote you on this?
00:28:23.97\00:28:28.47
That's genius.
00:28:28.50\00:28:29.84
That will shush up a gossip,
00:28:29.87\00:28:34.31
but then when
we're bridling our tongue
00:28:34.34\00:28:37.71
and putting a
guard on our tongue,
00:28:37.75\00:28:39.51
we've got to do the same thing.
00:28:39.55\00:28:41.78
Why am I sharing this?
00:28:41.82\00:28:43.15
What is my
motivation for sharing this?
00:28:43.18\00:28:46.39
Do I really know
that this is true?
00:28:46.42\00:28:50.23
Is my source reliable and sure?
00:28:50.26\00:28:53.29
And would I be willing to
say what I'm about to have,
00:28:53.33\00:28:59.00
what I'm about to
share as being quoted.
00:28:59.03\00:29:02.37
Right.
00:29:02.40\00:29:03.87
That will be a good
way to bridle your tongue.
00:29:03.91\00:29:06.81
Absolutely.
00:29:06.84\00:29:08.18
Those questions,
00:29:08.21\00:29:09.54
if you're asking them
if someone talking to you,
00:29:09.58\00:29:12.08
or if you just ask yourself,
00:29:12.11\00:29:16.22
and that's a good
practice to be in.
00:29:16.25\00:29:18.39
Absolutely, yeah.
00:29:18.42\00:29:19.95
You know, I think of
this whole situation,
00:29:19.99\00:29:21.52
I don't think anyone,
00:29:21.56\00:29:23.83
we'll just take
Christian, professed Christian
00:29:23.86\00:29:26.90
who's practicing
deceit or gossip or lying
00:29:26.93\00:29:29.86
or whatever it may be,
00:29:29.90\00:29:31.37
I don't think any of them
would consider themselves,
00:29:31.40\00:29:34.30
you know, not
saved in the sense that,
00:29:34.34\00:29:37.04
you know, most Christians
are gonna admit proudly,
00:29:37.07\00:29:39.14
you know, I'm
saved, I'm a Christian.
00:29:39.17\00:29:41.04
You know, I'm a
follower of Jesus.
00:29:41.08\00:29:42.51
But you know, when
we do those things,
00:29:42.54\00:29:44.18
I don't think that
we realize that we,
00:29:44.21\00:29:45.75
as the Bible says,
00:29:45.78\00:29:47.12
"We are of our
father the devil."
00:29:47.15\00:29:49.78
What is this type
of, this type of sin
00:29:49.82\00:29:52.32
'cause this is a sin.
00:29:52.35\00:29:53.69
God considers this
00:29:53.72\00:29:55.06
what we're talking about taming,
00:29:55.09\00:29:56.42
the taming of the
tongue, the sin of,
00:29:56.46\00:29:57.79
of all those things
you just listed up here,
00:29:57.83\00:30:00.00
the, you know, the
lie, the white lies,
00:30:00.03\00:30:01.46
the exaggerations
and going down that list,
00:30:01.50\00:30:03.47
angry words and you know
00:30:03.50\00:30:05.07
the course joking the murmuring,
00:30:05.10\00:30:06.84
complaining all these things,
00:30:06.87\00:30:08.24
negative self talk
that is of the devil.
00:30:08.27\00:30:10.61
Amen.
00:30:10.64\00:30:11.97
So we to just
call it for what it is.
00:30:12.01\00:30:14.08
And it's interesting that
when we look in Scripture,
00:30:14.11\00:30:17.68
the Bible calls the
devil, he is the father of lies.
00:30:17.71\00:30:22.42
How was he able to
divide the kingdom of God?
00:30:22.45\00:30:26.39
The Book of Revelation
says he did it by his,
00:30:26.42\00:30:29.52
he drew a third of
the stars with his tail
00:30:29.56\00:30:32.93
and we know
symbolically that T, that tail,
00:30:32.96\00:30:36.80
we know it's his
actual tale, t-a-l-e
00:30:36.83\00:30:40.47
in the sense
that he told a tale,
00:30:40.50\00:30:42.34
he told lies, he
is the father of it.
00:30:42.37\00:30:45.17
And when we are
practicing these things
00:30:45.21\00:30:47.14
knowingly or unknowingly,
00:30:47.18\00:30:48.51
consciously or self
consciously or subconsciously,
00:30:48.54\00:30:51.21
however you want to describe it,
00:30:51.25\00:30:53.21
unconsciously,
if that's possible,
00:30:53.25\00:30:58.52
truthfully, we
don't realize that
00:30:58.55\00:31:01.12
that is the spirit of the
enemy trying to cause division.
00:31:01.16\00:31:04.83
And you know, you would
expect something like this
00:31:04.86\00:31:06.80
to happen in a life of a person
00:31:06.83\00:31:09.13
who's not connected to Jesus,
00:31:09.16\00:31:10.50
who's not a professed Christian.
00:31:10.53\00:31:11.93
But when you start to
see it inside God's Church,
00:31:11.97\00:31:15.07
you know, there
have been entire...
00:31:15.10\00:31:16.47
I have known, I have been a part
00:31:16.50\00:31:18.61
of church bodies
and groups of people
00:31:18.64\00:31:21.58
who have been
divided because of this.
00:31:21.61\00:31:24.05
It's strong, it's powerful,
00:31:24.08\00:31:26.11
and entire church
bodies, groups split,
00:31:26.15\00:31:29.12
because someone said
this and someone said that
00:31:29.15\00:31:31.42
and then they
all pick sides they,
00:31:31.45\00:31:33.49
"Oh, well, I believe this person
00:31:33.52\00:31:34.86
because they're my friend
and they wouldn't tell a lie."
00:31:34.89\00:31:36.29
Well, I believe this
person and blah-blah.
00:31:36.32\00:31:38.96
And all of this is
the spirit of the devil,
00:31:38.99\00:31:40.33
the devil is
sitting back just laughing
00:31:40.36\00:31:41.80
and having a good old
time because he's like,"
00:31:41.83\00:31:43.50
Hey, look, I accomplished
what I wanted to accomplish.
00:31:43.53\00:31:47.04
I've got them divided.
00:31:47.07\00:31:48.40
I've got them conquered in this
00:31:48.44\00:31:50.24
what most would
consider a little white lie.
00:31:50.27\00:31:53.27
It's not really that bad.
00:31:53.31\00:31:54.64
It's just a misunderstanding,
but it's serious.
00:31:54.68\00:31:57.48
That's why James says,
00:31:57.51\00:31:58.85
"If anyone among you
thinks he's religious,
00:31:58.88\00:32:01.88
you know, I mean,
you've got the religion.
00:32:01.92\00:32:04.09
I've been in ministry.
00:32:04.12\00:32:06.09
I was raised in a
Christian singing family
00:32:06.12\00:32:08.32
so we were always in,
00:32:08.36\00:32:09.69
we were singing in churches
and all through my life,
00:32:09.72\00:32:12.43
I've been in several
different ministries.
00:32:12.46\00:32:15.46
And I have,
00:32:15.50\00:32:18.13
I mean there are some
tales, I could tell not tales,
00:32:18.17\00:32:21.34
I could tell you actual letters
00:32:21.37\00:32:23.51
that people have written,
00:32:23.54\00:32:25.47
you know, that were hurtful,
00:32:25.51\00:32:28.88
you know, and these people
00:32:28.91\00:32:30.25
should have been
guarding their tongue
00:32:30.28\00:32:31.65
and instead of
complaining or commenting,
00:32:31.68\00:32:34.75
you know, making ugly comments
00:32:34.78\00:32:36.15
about maybe a song or a style
00:32:36.18\00:32:39.35
or clothes I was
wearing or something.
00:32:39.39\00:32:43.22
Anyway, if they
would have, you know,
00:32:43.26\00:32:45.86
maybe done it in a
better way, you know,
00:32:45.89\00:32:48.03
confronted me in a loving way,
instead of saying, you know,
00:32:48.06\00:32:52.80
we'll never listen to you again,
00:32:52.83\00:32:54.70
you know, whatever.
00:32:54.74\00:32:56.77
And how Christian is that?
00:32:56.81\00:32:58.14
Yeah, instead of
building up and again,
00:32:58.17\00:33:01.34
I don't want them
to falsely approve
00:33:01.38\00:33:05.38
of what I'm doing.
00:33:05.41\00:33:06.75
Because just, you know,
well, he doesn't know better.
00:33:06.78\00:33:08.98
I want them to
speak into my life.
00:33:09.02\00:33:11.45
And I want them to
have the freedom to do that.
00:33:11.49\00:33:13.56
But it's that
spirit, it's the intent.
00:33:13.59\00:33:17.43
And so that's what I
think you were saying.
00:33:17.46\00:33:19.49
And again, when you know
that you're bearing a tail,
00:33:19.53\00:33:24.00
I mean, you know, you know.
00:33:24.03\00:33:26.13
I want to tell you the story
that is just amazing to me.
00:33:26.17\00:33:29.17
And it's about, it's
a balloon fest of '86.
00:33:29.20\00:33:32.11
There's a town,
I can mention it,
00:33:32.14\00:33:34.34
but it doesn't matter.
00:33:34.38\00:33:35.71
But the event was a
world record releasing
00:33:35.74\00:33:39.35
of almost one and a
half million balloons.
00:33:39.38\00:33:43.05
Wow.
00:33:43.08\00:33:44.42
And so this city
released these balloons,
00:33:44.45\00:33:48.26
and the event was
intended to be a harmless,
00:33:48.29\00:33:50.53
fundraising, publicity stunt.
00:33:50.56\00:33:52.83
But the balloons
drifted back over the city
00:33:52.86\00:33:55.86
and landed in
the surrounding area
00:33:55.90\00:33:57.73
and caused problems for traffic
00:33:57.77\00:33:59.87
and a nearby airport,
00:33:59.90\00:34:01.70
the event also interfered
with a search for two boaters
00:34:01.74\00:34:06.68
who had gone missing
00:34:06.71\00:34:08.18
and were later
found dead, drowned.
00:34:08.21\00:34:11.55
In consequence,
00:34:11.58\00:34:12.91
the organizers and
the city faced lawsuits
00:34:12.95\00:34:15.35
seeking millions
of dollars in damages.
00:34:15.38\00:34:17.05
Wow.
00:34:17.09\00:34:18.42
And cost overruns put
the event at a net loss.
00:34:18.45\00:34:21.19
All that to say these balloons,
00:34:21.22\00:34:23.43
it was a great
idea they thought,
00:34:23.46\00:34:25.16
you know, but
really their intent was
00:34:25.19\00:34:27.06
to set a world record.
00:34:27.10\00:34:30.20
And I think, you know,
00:34:30.23\00:34:32.13
sometimes we
have selfish intents,
00:34:32.17\00:34:34.60
but the
resources that they wasted,
00:34:34.64\00:34:37.74
you know, the
manpower that it took
00:34:37.77\00:34:39.34
to blow up these balloons.
00:34:39.37\00:34:40.71
These were helium balloons
00:34:40.74\00:34:42.08
and now you might
know that we're in a,
00:34:42.11\00:34:44.98
there's a deficit of helium.
00:34:45.01\00:34:46.51
If they had looked
down, down the calendar
00:34:46.55\00:34:49.65
and seeing this all
these hundreds of what,
00:34:49.68\00:34:52.02
one and a half million balloons,
00:34:52.05\00:34:54.32
they're wasting all of
this helium for just folly,
00:34:54.36\00:34:58.53
and then the balloons
that fell in the lake,
00:34:58.56\00:35:02.86
there was a cold
front that came in that
00:35:02.90\00:35:05.10
didn't allow the
balloons to shrink
00:35:05.13\00:35:07.30
like they would have normally
00:35:07.34\00:35:08.70
in the air and then drop,
00:35:08.74\00:35:10.51
they dropped and still blown up.
00:35:10.54\00:35:14.58
And so, you know,
00:35:14.61\00:35:15.94
when the people were out there
00:35:15.98\00:35:17.31
searching for these
two men in the water,
00:35:17.35\00:35:19.58
they couldn't tell
whether that was a head
00:35:19.61\00:35:21.88
or a life jacket
00:35:21.92\00:35:23.25
or what it was
between all different colors.
00:35:23.28\00:35:25.15
So it's just a
fiasco of an event.
00:35:25.19\00:35:27.76
Well, you know what words are?
00:35:27.79\00:35:29.39
They go out with wrong intent,
that you can't get them back.
00:35:29.42\00:35:33.70
That's right.
They're hot air, yeah.
00:35:33.73\00:35:35.20
How many, right,
00:35:35.23\00:35:36.56
and how many
millions of words do we speak
00:35:36.60\00:35:38.47
over our lifetime that,
00:35:38.50\00:35:40.67
oh, I think, man, I've just,
00:35:40.70\00:35:44.11
there are so many
situations you can imagine
00:35:44.14\00:35:46.78
if you have said anything wrong.
00:35:46.81\00:35:50.31
That's amazing, yeah.
00:35:50.35\00:35:51.98
Let me share a story
of our pastor in Houston
00:35:52.01\00:35:56.08
because, you know, you
said you can't get them back.
00:35:56.12\00:35:59.25
He was being
convicted of exaggeration,
00:35:59.29\00:36:03.46
which is a lie.
00:36:03.49\00:36:04.96
I mean, and he said,
00:36:04.99\00:36:06.33
"You know, God has
really convicted me
00:36:06.36\00:36:08.50
that when I'm telling this story
00:36:08.53\00:36:10.37
and I exaggerate, I'm lying."
00:36:10.40\00:36:13.44
And so he told the Lord,
00:36:13.47\00:36:16.34
"Okay, Lord, from now
on, anytime that happens,
00:36:16.37\00:36:19.27
You show me, you know,
00:36:19.31\00:36:21.64
let the words of the
meditation in my heart,
00:36:21.68\00:36:24.41
the words of my mouth
be pleasing unto you."
00:36:24.45\00:36:28.22
So he started preaching.
00:36:28.25\00:36:31.32
And all of a sudden,
this was on a Sunday,
00:36:31.35\00:36:33.12
this is when I
was a Sunday keeper,
00:36:33.15\00:36:34.89
this is on a Sunday morning.
00:36:34.92\00:36:36.62
And he's telling the best story.
00:36:36.66\00:36:39.26
He had everybody on
the edge of our seats.
00:36:39.29\00:36:42.33
And all of a sudden,
00:36:42.36\00:36:43.73
he just stopped and he looked
00:36:43.77\00:36:46.80
and he said and God had told him
00:36:46.84\00:36:49.37
you can't say,
you're exaggerating,
00:36:49.40\00:36:51.11
you gotta say that's a lie.
00:36:51.14\00:36:52.97
So he just stopped and he said,
00:36:53.01\00:36:56.68
"That's a lie."
00:36:56.71\00:36:59.71
And you know,
00:36:59.75\00:37:01.08
I appreciate it so
much the heart of this man,
00:37:01.12\00:37:05.02
because this is the sin
00:37:05.05\00:37:08.96
when you were
talking about Satan,
00:37:08.99\00:37:11.59
what he does.
00:37:11.63\00:37:13.13
What Satan does
00:37:13.16\00:37:14.56
is he takes 90%
truth, 95% truth,
00:37:14.60\00:37:20.34
and then he twists
just a degree or two
00:37:20.37\00:37:24.34
just to get
enough of a lie in there.
00:37:24.37\00:37:26.17
There's enough truth
00:37:26.21\00:37:27.54
that you're kind
of being gullible one.
00:37:27.58\00:37:29.24
Oh, yeah, yeah, but it's a lie.
00:37:29.28\00:37:33.31
So I appreciated
the heart of this man.
00:37:33.35\00:37:38.75
And it comes down to,
00:37:38.79\00:37:41.22
we can't provide if
the tongue is at fire,
00:37:41.26\00:37:46.16
we can't provide
fuel for that fire.
00:37:46.19\00:37:50.37
Oh, yeah, that's so true.
00:37:50.40\00:37:52.00
Let me read James 1:19-22.
00:37:52.03\00:37:54.64
Yeah.
00:37:54.67\00:37:56.00
I'm gonna do that. Sure.
00:37:56.04\00:37:57.37
Following what you
just said right there.
00:37:57.41\00:37:59.27
"So then my beloved brethren,
00:37:59.31\00:38:01.54
let every man be swift to hear,
00:38:01.58\00:38:05.78
slow to speak, slow to wrath,
00:38:05.81\00:38:08.45
for the wrath of a
man does not produce
00:38:08.48\00:38:10.39
the righteousness of God.
00:38:10.42\00:38:12.62
Therefore lay
aside all filthiness
00:38:12.65\00:38:14.32
and overflow of wickedness
00:38:14.36\00:38:15.72
and receive with
meekness, the implanted word,
00:38:15.76\00:38:19.33
which is able
to save your souls.
00:38:19.36\00:38:22.56
And the one that
we hear most often,
00:38:22.60\00:38:24.93
so, the doers of the word
00:38:24.97\00:38:27.64
and not hearers
only, deceiving yourself."
00:38:27.67\00:38:31.74
And there are so many times
00:38:31.77\00:38:33.98
whenever we do set ourselves up,
00:38:34.01\00:38:36.08
sometimes artificially
so that become a reality.
00:38:36.11\00:38:40.38
And maybe
misheard, misread, and...
00:38:40.42\00:38:45.02
One thing that God
has been teaching you
00:38:45.05\00:38:47.36
and I really
appreciate this about JD.
00:38:47.39\00:38:50.06
You know, when you think of it,
00:38:50.09\00:38:52.39
the swift to hear
and slow to speak,
00:38:52.43\00:38:55.40
He gave us two ears
and one mouth, right?
00:38:55.43\00:38:58.87
But something that God
started impressing you about,
00:38:58.90\00:39:03.34
probably four or five years ago,
00:39:03.37\00:39:05.71
is, I'd be telling JD,
00:39:05.74\00:39:08.01
"Did you know what
such and such said,"
00:39:08.04\00:39:10.11
you know, and I'm
talking in, and he said,
00:39:10.15\00:39:13.98
"Honey, we don't have
enough information yet."
00:39:14.02\00:39:17.19
And so JD is very,
00:39:17.22\00:39:20.16
and I don't consider
myself a judgmental person,
00:39:20.19\00:39:23.29
but there's times
you know, something well,
00:39:23.32\00:39:25.76
and you think, okay, but some,
00:39:25.79\00:39:27.60
he'll almost always say to me,
00:39:27.63\00:39:29.13
"Well, we just don't
have enough information yet."
00:39:29.16\00:39:31.60
And it's true.
00:39:31.63\00:39:32.97
You need to hear
both sides of every story.
00:39:33.00\00:39:35.50
It is wise.
00:39:35.54\00:39:36.87
You know, that was one of those,
00:39:36.91\00:39:38.24
I remember,
00:39:38.27\00:39:40.31
we're very
fortunate in pastoral,
00:39:40.34\00:39:42.41
in that there's
not a boring minute,
00:39:42.44\00:39:44.91
because there's so
many different personalities
00:39:44.95\00:39:46.98
and so many hurting people
00:39:47.02\00:39:48.38
that are calling
in and saying help.
00:39:48.42\00:39:51.15
Our
responsibility is very simple.
00:39:51.19\00:39:53.76
They encourage us.
00:39:53.79\00:39:55.62
God has an answer.
00:39:55.66\00:39:57.26
Let's allow Him to be God
00:39:57.29\00:39:59.69
and let's keep
us out of the way.
00:39:59.73\00:40:01.80
Well, so everyone
wants to be heard.
00:40:01.83\00:40:04.97
I mean, they'd rather be
heard than having a real issue.
00:40:05.00\00:40:07.80
A real answer you mean?
00:40:07.84\00:40:09.54
A real answer, thank you.
00:40:09.57\00:40:11.21
And so, I and if you are
00:40:11.24\00:40:15.71
a compassionate
person by nature,
00:40:15.74\00:40:18.41
it's easy to
empathize and you know,
00:40:18.45\00:40:21.85
it's easy to become as one.
00:40:21.88\00:40:23.69
And so as you're
listening, there's so many times
00:40:23.72\00:40:25.75
when you're just, you're lost.
00:40:25.79\00:40:30.69
You don't know
where to go or what to do.
00:40:30.73\00:40:33.86
And you call upon
Jesus name, in Jesus name,
00:40:33.90\00:40:36.50
but Jesus, only Jesus.
00:40:36.53\00:40:40.14
And then finally,
00:40:40.17\00:40:41.97
this was one of
those ah-aha moments
00:40:42.00\00:40:43.51
and let's just say
if you're fortunate,
00:40:43.54\00:40:45.77
you may have five
ah-aha moments in your life.
00:40:45.81\00:40:49.64
Something that's
really, really profound.
00:40:49.68\00:40:52.78
And, boy, it just dropped
right in a beautiful night.
00:40:52.81\00:40:56.22
JD, you've been a
fixture all your life.
00:40:56.25\00:40:59.92
Remember the old TV
program name that tune?
00:40:59.95\00:41:05.89
I can name that,
00:41:05.93\00:41:07.26
I can just see Tim,
00:41:07.30\00:41:08.63
I can name that
tune and seven notes,
00:41:08.66\00:41:11.87
rhymes I can
name it in six, folks,
00:41:11.90\00:41:14.60
it becomes notes.
00:41:14.64\00:41:16.64
Now, here's a little
JD, I can name it in four.
00:41:16.67\00:41:19.07
Come on get serious.
00:41:19.11\00:41:21.18
But yet it's our
nature to the optimist.
00:41:21.21\00:41:25.65
Right.
00:41:25.68\00:41:27.02
I no more no one
song than another song.
00:41:27.05\00:41:28.88
But yet I want to win the
game so it got in the way.
00:41:28.92\00:41:31.09
Right.
00:41:31.12\00:41:32.45
So anyway,
00:41:32.49\00:41:35.39
I'd have to learn that
it's really easy to say
00:41:35.42\00:41:39.19
we just don't have
enough information.
00:41:39.23\00:41:41.16
Yeah.
00:41:41.20\00:41:42.53
That is profound.
00:41:42.56\00:41:43.90
Yeah, that is profound.
00:41:43.93\00:41:45.27
And it doesn't
cost a lot of money
00:41:45.30\00:41:47.90
to sit and say, hey, let's take
00:41:47.94\00:41:50.07
a little bit more
information here and little,
00:41:50.11\00:41:52.44
then maybe we can see
rather than be a fixer.
00:41:52.47\00:41:55.58
I can fix that, I
can name that tune.
00:41:55.61\00:41:59.75
Hey, you can't
even more name that tune
00:41:59.78\00:42:01.72
than man in the moon, you know.
00:42:01.75\00:42:03.08
You're right.
00:42:03.12\00:42:04.45
They just, they
do want to be heard
00:42:04.49\00:42:05.82
and so for you to say,
00:42:05.85\00:42:07.86
I don't have the
answer, but I can pray with you.
00:42:07.89\00:42:09.79
Amen.
00:42:09.82\00:42:11.16
That's at least, you
have a wonderful position
00:42:11.19\00:42:14.76
and we all have that position.
00:42:14.80\00:42:16.13
We all have and
hopefully we all do,
00:42:16.16\00:42:18.37
you know, it's just that,
but, boy, it's powerful to me.
00:42:18.40\00:42:22.80
It is very powerful.
00:42:22.84\00:42:24.17
So be swift to
hear and slow to speak.
00:42:24.21\00:42:28.41
Amen.
00:42:28.44\00:42:29.78
You want to hit those
two in Proverbs there?
00:42:29.81\00:42:31.41
Sure, yeah, for lack of wood.
00:42:31.45\00:42:33.92
That's Proverbs
26:20 in the Amplified.
00:42:33.95\00:42:36.32
Okay, yes.
00:42:36.35\00:42:37.69
Proverbs 26:20,
00:42:37.72\00:42:39.12
"For lack of
wood, the fire goes out
00:42:39.15\00:42:41.42
and where there is no whisperer,
00:42:41.46\00:42:43.19
contention ceases."
00:42:43.22\00:42:45.99
So you gotta cut the fuel line.
00:42:46.03\00:42:47.36
Yeah, right.
00:42:47.40\00:42:48.73
Just cut the supply
line, yep, that's true.
00:42:48.76\00:42:51.10
Zip it.
00:42:51.13\00:42:52.47
Then Proverbs 10:19 says,
00:42:52.50\00:42:54.50
"In the multitude of
words, sin is not lacking,
00:42:54.54\00:42:58.57
but he who
restrains his lips is wise."
00:42:58.61\00:43:01.64
Amen.
00:43:01.68\00:43:03.41
You know, I just
want to add to this
00:43:03.45\00:43:05.08
as we're discussing this,
00:43:05.11\00:43:06.65
you know, don't
provide fuel for the fire,
00:43:06.68\00:43:09.42
you know, more or less,
00:43:09.45\00:43:10.99
it's a probably
rhetorical question.
00:43:11.02\00:43:12.45
But you know, why
do you think people?
00:43:12.49\00:43:15.09
Why do you think we do that?
00:43:15.12\00:43:16.46
Why do you think we
kind of get sucked into
00:43:16.49\00:43:19.46
to continue
allowing that fire to burn?
00:43:19.49\00:43:23.06
We want to have our say,
00:43:23.10\00:43:25.60
I think we want to,
00:43:25.63\00:43:26.97
we think people care more
than they do about our opinion.
00:43:27.00\00:43:30.31
That's true. Honestly.
00:43:30.34\00:43:32.07
How true.
00:43:32.11\00:43:33.44
I'm bad about that, I
think that you really do care
00:43:33.48\00:43:35.21
what I think about your hair.
00:43:35.24\00:43:36.88
But, you know,
00:43:36.91\00:43:38.91
and so we'll say
something about it
00:43:38.95\00:43:41.55
and that wasn't even necessary
to say, you know, and that's.
00:43:41.58\00:43:44.19
How true.
00:43:44.22\00:43:45.55
So, you know, if we will
stop, my mother's, she...
00:43:45.59\00:43:49.89
Oh, she hated the word shut up.
00:43:49.92\00:43:52.06
Right.
00:43:52.09\00:43:53.43
And I know a lot of people
do and it's not a good word,
00:43:53.46\00:43:55.86
but you know what?
00:43:55.90\00:43:57.80
It do us all the
good. Shut your trap.
00:43:57.83\00:44:00.00
It would do us so good just to,
00:44:00.04\00:44:02.84
if we had on our on the
inside of our eyelid, shut up.
00:44:02.87\00:44:06.07
Yeah.
00:44:06.11\00:44:07.44
You know, so that
we just shut our mouth.
00:44:07.48\00:44:09.44
We don't have to say
and for lack of words,
00:44:09.48\00:44:12.95
for multitude of
words sin is not lacking,
00:44:12.98\00:44:15.95
more words we use,
00:44:15.98\00:44:17.85
the more you're
going to say something
00:44:17.89\00:44:20.19
that you shouldn't.
00:44:20.22\00:44:21.56
And you know
sometimes some people
00:44:21.59\00:44:23.63
just get caught up in the whirl.
00:44:23.66\00:44:25.69
There's a one absement. Yeah.
00:44:25.73\00:44:27.56
You know if I can
get a little bit more,
00:44:27.60\00:44:30.37
I can tell a better
story than that, you know.
00:44:30.40\00:44:33.54
And all of a sudden
now we're swapping tales
00:44:33.57\00:44:36.54
and tales become white lies.
00:44:36.57\00:44:39.57
Well, you know,
the reason I'm sighing
00:44:39.61\00:44:41.68
is because that is an area
in which I have to be careful
00:44:41.71\00:44:46.75
because I was kind of taught
00:44:46.78\00:44:48.45
that was bonding
was to swap stories.
00:44:48.48\00:44:51.42
So somebody tells their story
and I'm going to tell mine,
00:44:51.45\00:44:54.56
or they're telling about
their back surgery coming up,
00:44:54.59\00:44:57.76
so I am gonna tell them
all about my back surgery
00:44:57.79\00:45:00.00
to help them feel better,
00:45:00.03\00:45:01.46
but it can be
perceived as a selfish,
00:45:01.50\00:45:07.30
self centered type thing.
00:45:07.34\00:45:09.27
And we all have to be careful.
00:45:09.30\00:45:11.71
I love the thought
that one more thing
00:45:11.74\00:45:16.91
to help us tame the
tongue is to be thoughtful.
00:45:16.95\00:45:21.68
Proverbs 29:20 says,
00:45:21.72\00:45:26.09
"Do you see a man
hasty in his words,
00:45:26.12\00:45:31.49
there is more hope
for a fool then for him."
00:45:31.53\00:45:35.16
Sometimes words
just come rushing out,
00:45:35.20\00:45:39.13
and so that's where
we've got to be careful.
00:45:39.17\00:45:43.77
The New Testament has
much to say about this.
00:45:43.81\00:45:46.27
Why don't you?
00:45:46.31\00:45:47.64
Sure, it's Colossians 4:6 says,
00:45:47.68\00:45:50.11
"Let your speech
always be with grace,
00:45:50.15\00:45:53.82
seasoned with
salt, that you may know
00:45:53.85\00:45:56.55
how you ought to
answer each one."
00:45:56.58\00:45:59.75
So that's an interesting text.
00:45:59.79\00:46:01.96
1 Peter 3:9-11,
00:46:01.99\00:46:04.39
and this is from
the Amplified Version.
00:46:04.43\00:46:07.33
Bible says, "Never
return evil for evil
00:46:07.36\00:46:10.10
or insult for insult,
00:46:10.13\00:46:12.77
but on the contrary, blessing,
00:46:12.80\00:46:16.94
praying for their welfare,
happiness and protection
00:46:16.97\00:46:19.47
and truly
pitying and loving them
00:46:19.51\00:46:22.01
was what that would mean."
00:46:22.04\00:46:23.81
It says, "For know that
to this you have been called
00:46:23.85\00:46:27.42
that you may yourselves
inherit a blessing from God
00:46:27.45\00:46:31.65
that you may obtain a blessing
00:46:31.69\00:46:33.62
as heirs bringing welfare
and happiness and protection."
00:46:33.66\00:46:37.43
Verse 10 says,
00:46:37.46\00:46:38.79
"For let him who
wants to enjoy life
00:46:38.83\00:46:41.00
and see good days.
00:46:41.03\00:46:42.90
Good whether apparent or not,
00:46:42.93\00:46:45.17
keep his tongue free from evil
00:46:45.20\00:46:47.80
and his lips from
guile," of course,
00:46:47.84\00:46:50.24
that would be
treachery and deceit.
00:46:50.27\00:46:52.57
"Let him turn
away from wickedness
00:46:52.61\00:46:54.41
and shun it and
let him do right.
00:46:54.44\00:46:57.21
Let him search for peace
00:46:57.25\00:46:59.31
that is harmony and
undisturbed from fears,
00:46:59.35\00:47:01.85
agitation, passions,
and moral conflicts,"
00:47:01.88\00:47:05.62
it says, "And seek it eagerly,
00:47:05.65\00:47:07.96
do not merely
desire peaceful relations
00:47:07.99\00:47:11.16
with God with your
fellow men and with yourself,
00:47:11.19\00:47:14.23
but pursue, go after them."
00:47:14.26\00:47:17.17
You know what I
see in that? Yeah.
00:47:17.20\00:47:18.83
Those are what I
have to do. Right.
00:47:18.87\00:47:21.77
It's not what you can do for me.
00:47:21.80\00:47:23.71
Right.
00:47:23.74\00:47:25.07
It's what I have to do,
00:47:25.11\00:47:26.44
this is let him turn away
from wickedness and shun it.
00:47:26.47\00:47:29.58
So it doesn't say
you go turn around
00:47:29.61\00:47:31.08
and you go correct him.
00:47:31.11\00:47:32.61
You go tell him
what he's done wrong.
00:47:32.65\00:47:35.48
I need to turn away
from wickedness and shun it.
00:47:35.52\00:47:37.69
You know, and this is
when you think about this.
00:47:37.72\00:47:41.62
I'm pretty good.
00:47:41.66\00:47:44.66
Not I but the Lord in me.
00:47:44.69\00:47:46.80
If somebody insults me,
00:47:46.83\00:47:48.40
I'm not one to lash
back at them right away.
00:47:48.43\00:47:53.60
Right.
00:47:53.64\00:47:54.97
But you do see
00:47:55.00\00:47:56.71
a lot of really wonderful people
00:47:56.74\00:48:00.14
that, you know, good Christians
00:48:00.18\00:48:03.61
that you insult them
00:48:03.65\00:48:05.38
and man, I'll
tell you something.
00:48:05.41\00:48:07.08
Game on.
00:48:07.12\00:48:08.45
Something changes,
it is game on and so
00:48:08.48\00:48:11.02
but that's feeding
the situation, isn't it?
00:48:11.05\00:48:14.62
That's right.
00:48:14.66\00:48:16.09
That's the most brilliant thing
about an argument, you know.
00:48:16.12\00:48:20.46
Yeah.
00:48:20.50\00:48:21.83
Just you say, "Oh
yeah, you're right,
00:48:21.86\00:48:23.57
I admit it
00:48:23.60\00:48:25.87
or you don't
even have to admit it,
00:48:25.90\00:48:28.20
just say you
might have a point there
00:48:28.24\00:48:30.17
and it deflects and it's
like they've got nothing,
00:48:30.21\00:48:32.97
fire goes out
and they're just mad
00:48:33.01\00:48:35.14
'cause they got no
fight as you were saying.
00:48:35.18\00:48:37.71
They have no oil to burn.
00:48:37.75\00:48:39.11
Right.
00:48:39.15\00:48:40.88
Yeah so, something
that we always teach
00:48:40.92\00:48:46.22
in marriage counseling.
00:48:46.25\00:48:48.26
And, honey, I'll let
you take 2 Timothy 2,
00:48:48.29\00:48:52.29
is learn to attack the problem,
00:48:52.33\00:48:58.63
not the person.
00:48:58.67\00:49:00.27
Yeah.
00:49:00.30\00:49:01.64
You know, and usually
00:49:01.67\00:49:03.00
if somebody comes
in there insulting
00:49:03.04\00:49:04.37
and they're mad at you
and they're berating you,
00:49:04.41\00:49:06.64
there's a problem.
00:49:06.68\00:49:08.01
You need to identify the problem
00:49:08.04\00:49:10.35
and learn to
attack that problem,
00:49:10.38\00:49:13.55
but not the person.
00:49:13.58\00:49:15.75
Yeah, It tells us
in 2 Timothy 2:23-26,
00:49:15.78\00:49:21.52
"But avoid foolishness
and ignorant disputes
00:49:21.56\00:49:23.93
knowing that
they generate strife,
00:49:23.96\00:49:26.63
and a servant of the
Lord must not quarrel
00:49:26.66\00:49:28.86
but be gentle to all
00:49:28.90\00:49:30.37
able to teach
patience, and humility,
00:49:30.40\00:49:36.91
correcting those
who are in opposition,
00:49:36.94\00:49:39.27
if God perhaps will
grant them repentance
00:49:39.31\00:49:41.48
so that they may know the truth,
00:49:41.51\00:49:43.68
and that they may
come to their senses
00:49:43.71\00:49:45.78
and escape the
snare of the devil,
00:49:45.81\00:49:47.65
having been taken
captive by him to do his will."
00:49:47.68\00:49:51.42
Now, you know, I'm honest...
00:49:51.45\00:49:55.86
And I didn't
learn to tame my tongue
00:49:55.89\00:49:57.69
but we're
identifying the problem.
00:49:57.73\00:49:59.33
Yes.
00:49:59.36\00:50:00.70
There are some people
00:50:00.73\00:50:02.56
who are in the
church who are zealots.
00:50:02.60\00:50:07.04
And they don't
speak the truth in love.
00:50:07.07\00:50:12.67
They pound people
00:50:12.71\00:50:15.74
to get them to see it their way.
00:50:15.78\00:50:19.21
Right.
00:50:19.25\00:50:20.58
And, you know,
this says right here,
00:50:20.62\00:50:24.19
I love what Paul wrote,
00:50:24.22\00:50:26.42
in humility, correcting
those who are in opposition,
00:50:26.45\00:50:32.63
in hopes that God can
bring them to repentance.
00:50:32.66\00:50:37.73
You cannot bring
anyone to repentance.
00:50:37.77\00:50:40.54
And if you jump in
and you're quarrelsome,
00:50:40.57\00:50:45.11
you're
aggressive, you're not gentle.
00:50:45.14\00:50:49.64
It's foolish, it's ignorant
is what he's saying here.
00:50:49.68\00:50:53.31
And you're not
gonna turn anyone away.
00:50:53.35\00:50:55.58
And this is true
00:50:55.62\00:50:57.99
especially with in your marriage
00:50:58.02\00:51:01.49
and with children.
00:51:01.52\00:51:02.86
Oh, man, yeah.
00:51:02.89\00:51:04.23
I mean, you have to be careful.
00:51:04.26\00:51:06.53
Absolutely.
00:51:06.56\00:51:07.90
You know, just what
you just said mentioning,
00:51:07.93\00:51:09.70
you know, with
children in a marriage.
00:51:09.73\00:51:12.83
This is what we're
talking about this entire topic
00:51:12.87\00:51:15.17
is important all around
00:51:15.20\00:51:16.74
in every situation
inside and outside the home,
00:51:16.77\00:51:20.84
but I would say
especially in the home,
00:51:20.88\00:51:24.98
I have been in situations
00:51:25.01\00:51:27.52
where I have seen parents
00:51:27.55\00:51:31.45
gossip in front of the children.
00:51:31.49\00:51:33.39
What are they
teaching their children?
00:51:33.42\00:51:36.52
They will share their
opinions, their thoughts, bash,
00:51:36.56\00:51:40.86
whether it's each other,
00:51:40.90\00:51:42.73
or someone from
church, someone from work.
00:51:42.76\00:51:46.27
Children are like sponges,
they soak that stuff up.
00:51:46.30\00:51:49.74
And you're teaching
those little ones to, you know,
00:51:49.77\00:51:52.77
grow up and be that
same way that it's okay,
00:51:52.81\00:51:55.78
somebody makes you
mad, disagree with them
00:51:55.81\00:51:58.25
or whatever you're
teaching them to do that.
00:51:58.28\00:52:01.85
On a same note, I have
seen, you know, parents,
00:52:01.88\00:52:06.65
not that I am giving
examples, but I've seen this,
00:52:06.69\00:52:09.16
observed this,
in some situations
00:52:09.19\00:52:10.89
where parents
speak to their children
00:52:10.93\00:52:13.19
in a way where they
may be name calling,
00:52:13.23\00:52:15.96
it may be
addressing them in such a way
00:52:16.00\00:52:19.07
or talking about the father,
00:52:19.10\00:52:20.97
when the father's
not around in a way,
00:52:21.00\00:52:22.70
downgrading him,
00:52:22.74\00:52:24.07
the father
talking about the mother
00:52:24.11\00:52:25.44
in a way to the children.
00:52:25.47\00:52:26.81
I'm just giving some examples,
00:52:26.84\00:52:28.18
but these
situations are very, very real.
00:52:28.21\00:52:31.08
And, you know,
00:52:31.11\00:52:32.65
the scripture that
came to my mind earlier
00:52:32.68\00:52:34.65
as we were talking about
the seriousness of this topic
00:52:34.68\00:52:37.52
and how it is a
sin and it is something
00:52:37.55\00:52:39.29
that needs to be
paid attention to.
00:52:39.32\00:52:40.99
We were talking
about the judgment
00:52:41.02\00:52:42.36
that comes with that.
00:52:42.39\00:52:43.73
And very famous text
that comes to my mind
00:52:43.76\00:52:46.96
is Ecclesiastes 12:13-14,
00:52:47.00\00:52:50.43
which we know 13 talks about,
00:52:50.47\00:52:52.17
let us hear the
conclusion of the whole matter.
00:52:52.20\00:52:54.17
Fear God and
keep His commandments
00:52:54.20\00:52:55.54
for this is man's all
00:52:55.57\00:52:56.91
or this is the
whole duty of man,
00:52:56.94\00:52:58.27
as the King James Version says,
00:52:58.31\00:52:59.64
but in verse 14 says this,
00:52:59.67\00:53:02.01
"For God will bring
every work into judgment,
00:53:02.04\00:53:06.92
including every secret thing,
00:53:06.95\00:53:09.55
whether good or evil."
00:53:09.58\00:53:11.05
And so I think sometimes
we have to realize that this
00:53:11.09\00:53:13.89
and I know, you know,
00:53:13.92\00:53:16.22
since we're on the confession,
00:53:16.26\00:53:17.83
we all have
confessed something here,
00:53:17.86\00:53:19.19
I have to confess
00:53:19.23\00:53:20.56
as I'm looking
through this list here,
00:53:20.60\00:53:22.26
I am one in and
yes, I'm almost ashamed
00:53:22.30\00:53:26.13
and terrified to say this,
00:53:26.17\00:53:27.50
but I can be one that
murmurs and complaints
00:53:27.54\00:53:31.27
and I never have
even considered at times
00:53:31.31\00:53:34.81
that the state of murmuring
and complaining, you know.
00:53:34.84\00:53:37.81
I may, I mean,
00:53:37.85\00:53:39.18
there may be a
situation that happens
00:53:39.21\00:53:40.55
even in ministry,
that I'm like, man, what,
00:53:40.58\00:53:43.55
because I'm a very
analytical thinker.
00:53:43.59\00:53:46.29
If I see something
happen, a decision that's made,
00:53:46.32\00:53:49.19
whatever the case may be,
00:53:49.22\00:53:50.56
I'm very analytical,
it can be a blessing,
00:53:50.59\00:53:53.46
it can also be a curse,
00:53:53.50\00:53:55.33
and I will literally
pick that situation apart
00:53:55.36\00:53:58.03
and try to put myself
in the mind of that person
00:53:58.07\00:54:00.94
who made that decision.
00:54:00.97\00:54:02.40
And at the end of the
day if it didn't line up
00:54:02.44\00:54:03.91
with the way I
think things should be
00:54:03.94\00:54:05.27
I find myself sitting
and roasting on that going,
00:54:05.31\00:54:08.34
what in the world?
00:54:08.38\00:54:10.05
And then it'll go as
bad and I've done this,
00:54:10.08\00:54:12.78
I'm guilty of this
and I had to repent of it
00:54:12.81\00:54:15.45
but it is true,
00:54:15.48\00:54:16.82
I will let it
roast in my head so much
00:54:16.85\00:54:18.49
to get me so worked up
00:54:18.52\00:54:20.22
that I will go
find someone else.
00:54:20.26\00:54:22.82
Whether it's a
friend in ministry,
00:54:22.86\00:54:24.36
a pastor and think to
myself, wait a second,
00:54:24.39\00:54:27.40
am I thinking this through,
00:54:27.43\00:54:29.06
let me go shar
the situation with him
00:54:29.10\00:54:30.73
and see if they
think that I'm wrong,
00:54:30.77\00:54:34.24
or if that person's
right and you know all a while,
00:54:34.27\00:54:37.61
I've done this I never
even thought once like,
00:54:37.64\00:54:39.41
that's gossip.
00:54:39.44\00:54:42.34
You're taking this
and spreading this fire
00:54:42.38\00:54:44.08
but you know how
many other people
00:54:44.11\00:54:45.75
have probably been
in the same situation?
00:54:45.78\00:54:47.42
I know it because it happens
in ministry all the time.
00:54:47.45\00:54:50.29
Oh, did you hear
about what so and so did?
00:54:50.32\00:54:51.85
Yeah, I heard that.
00:54:51.89\00:54:53.25
What were they
thinking? Don't they know that?
00:54:53.29\00:54:55.26
And then it just starts
and then I think sometimes,
00:54:55.29\00:54:57.53
you know, we kind of
pad the situation with
00:54:57.56\00:55:00.53
well, that's my friend
or that's my board family,
00:55:00.56\00:55:03.77
you know, we're like
that with each other,
00:55:03.80\00:55:05.87
we're tight like that,
00:55:05.90\00:55:07.24
but it still
don't change the fact
00:55:07.27\00:55:08.60
that you know
and in my murmuring
00:55:08.64\00:55:10.54
and complaining
00:55:10.57\00:55:12.07
I'm doing more
bad than I am good.
00:55:12.11\00:55:15.58
And man, this is a study
that you very rarely ever hear
00:55:15.61\00:55:20.12
and I'm glad we
talked about this.
00:55:20.15\00:55:21.48
I don't like it.
00:55:21.52\00:55:24.39
Jesus, I don't like it.
00:55:24.42\00:55:25.75
Oh, listen, we only
have two minutes left.
00:55:25.79\00:55:28.22
So let's just get
down to the bottom line.
00:55:28.26\00:55:32.99
Psalm 139:23-24,
00:55:33.03\00:55:39.77
"David, praise and he says,
00:55:39.80\00:55:41.27
"Search me, O God
and know my heart.
00:55:41.30\00:55:44.41
Try me and know my anxieties
00:55:44.44\00:55:47.54
and see if there is
any wicked way in me
00:55:47.58\00:55:52.08
and lead me in
the way everlasting."
00:55:52.11\00:55:54.55
When he says know my
heart, it's know my thoughts.
00:55:54.58\00:55:57.32
That's right.
00:55:57.35\00:55:58.69
It root out the
unrighteousness in me, Lord.
00:55:58.72\00:56:01.99
And then we know
that 1 John 1:9 says,
00:56:02.02\00:56:04.86
"If we confess our sins,
00:56:04.89\00:56:06.80
He's faithful and just
to forgive us of our sins
00:56:06.83\00:56:09.23
and cleanse us of
all unrighteousness."
00:56:09.26\00:56:11.50
So we got to ask God
00:56:11.53\00:56:13.10
'cause some people are like,
00:56:13.13\00:56:14.84
I don't have a
problem with my tongue.
00:56:14.87\00:56:16.37
Well, that's
not what James says.
00:56:16.40\00:56:18.37
That's not what the
Bible says, we all do.
00:56:18.41\00:56:21.24
But as we confess our sin,
00:56:21.28\00:56:25.78
then what he does, you know,
00:56:25.81\00:56:27.48
it's just like in Psalm 51,
00:56:27.52\00:56:29.58
"Oh, create in me,
a clean heart, O God,
00:56:29.62\00:56:33.59
renew a steadfast
spirit in with me.
00:56:33.62\00:56:38.16
Do not cast me
away from your presence.
00:56:38.19\00:56:40.66
Don't take your
Holy Spirit away from me,
00:56:40.70\00:56:43.40
but restore to me the
joy of your salvation,
00:56:43.43\00:56:46.60
then I'm gonna
teach others your way.
00:56:46.63\00:56:50.01
So the whole
conclusion of the matter
00:56:50.04\00:56:52.81
as you said earlier,
00:56:52.84\00:56:54.24
we've got to keep
our heart with diligence
00:56:54.28\00:56:56.91
for out of it springs
the wellspring of life,
00:56:56.95\00:57:01.58
and we've got
to learn to zip it.
00:57:01.62\00:57:06.65
Yeah, a multitude
of words just came out.
00:57:06.69\00:57:10.36
Guess what? Our
time is all done.
00:57:10.39\00:57:11.83
I can't believe this went by.
00:57:11.86\00:57:13.19
So, pastor,
00:57:13.23\00:57:14.56
thank you so
much for joining us.
00:57:14.60\00:57:16.77
Thank you.
00:57:16.80\00:57:18.13
And we want to
thank you at home.
00:57:18.17\00:57:19.90
Our prayer for
you is that the grace
00:57:19.93\00:57:21.64
of our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ,
00:57:21.67\00:57:23.41
the love of the Father
00:57:23.44\00:57:24.97
and the
fellowship of the Holy Spirit
00:57:25.01\00:57:27.61
will be with you
today and always.
00:57:27.64\00:57:31.58
And just praise the Lord.
00:57:31.61\00:57:35.52
Amen. Amen, yeah.
00:57:35.55\00:57:36.95