I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Removing pain
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Lord, let my words
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Heal a heart that hurts
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people.
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Hello and happy Sabbath,
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and welcome to
3ABN's Family Worship.
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Amen.
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Happy Sabbath
to all of you here.
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Around the
table, and at the piano,
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and then back of the cameras,
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and happy Sabbath to
all of our family at home.
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I'm Chris Shelton,
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This is my husband
Pastor Kenny Shelton,
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and I'll just to introduce
the rest of our 3ABN family.
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To my left is sister Irma Murray
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and her husband
Pastor. CA. Murray.
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That's right.
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And then over to my
right is sister Jill
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and her husband Greg
Morikone, and at our piano,
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we have a
wonderful pianist here,
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this evening and that is E.T.
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Everett, she's been a
part of the 3ABN family
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for a long time.
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In fact, she's gonna play a
song tonight for us to sing.
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She's never even
played it before,
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and I said, "That's okay,
E.T., we'll help you with it."
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I mean within just
few a seconds, she had it.
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I was telling Jill,
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I can't even imagine doing that,
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but in heaven some day,
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I'm going to be able to do that.
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We're gonna sing, we're
gonna hear those angels.
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Amen.
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You know, our problem was
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we just wasn't much help to her.
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We're sorry. We
really weren't a bit.
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We're just not professional
but we just sing with notes,
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sometimes
they're just not there.
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But, you know, how, somehow
she found them on the piano,
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so we're thankful for
that kind of ear and talent,
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I'm willing to work
with, I'm a beginner so.
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We're not professionals
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but we do like to
do make a joyful noise.
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And I hope that
you'll sing with us,
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the topic for our study tonight
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after our music is going
to be Making a Happy Home.
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So I hope you'll stay
tuned and sing along with us.
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We're gonna start out
by a song that is entitled,
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"Let's talk about Jesus."
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Oh, mercy.
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Let's talk about
Jesus, the King of kings
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is He The Lord of lords supreme,
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through all eternity.
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The great I Am, the
Way, the Truth, the Life,
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the Door Let's talk
about Jesus more and more
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O my loving brother,
when the world's on fire
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Don't you want God's
bosom to be your pillow?
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O hide me over,
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In the Rock of
Ages Rock of Ages,
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cleft for me
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Let's talk about Jesus,
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the King of kings is He
The Lord of lords supreme,
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through all
eternity The great I Am,
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the Way, the
Truth, the Life, the Door
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Let's talk about
Jesus more and more
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O my loving sister,
when the world's on fire
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Don't you want God's
bosom to be your pillow?
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O hide me over,
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In the Rock of Ages
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Rock of Ages, cleft for me
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Hallelujah, praise the Lord.
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Let's talk about Jesus.
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Oh, let's do. Amen.
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I mean, what a better
song, the King of kings,
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the Lord of lords, the
truth, the life, the door.
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No one can enter in,
expect through Christ.
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When you're talking
about the home and the family,
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it is about Jesus.
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So that's why
we're gonna talk about
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and we're gonna
sing about him because,
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there is no happiness
in home without Jesus.
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People could
just, they say there is.
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I can tell you, I
can prove differently.
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And it proved
difference probably
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some of our lives before,
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so I'm still thankful
that we can sing about him
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and talk about him and
have that blessed hope.
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And I'm thankful too,
because there is a fire coming
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and bothers and sisters,
we need to be under His wings.
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That's right.
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The next song
we're going to sing is,
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"I've got Peace like a River."
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I've got Peace like a River.
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If you have Jesus. That's right.
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I've got peace like a river
I've got peace like a river
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I've got peace
like a river in my soul
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I've got peace like a river
I've got peace like a river
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I've got peace
like a river in my soul
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I've got love like an ocean
I've got love like an ocean
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I've got love like
an ocean in my soul
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I've got love like an ocean
I've got love like an ocean
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I've got love like
an ocean in my soul
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I've got joy like a fountain
I've got joy like a fountain
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I've got joy like
a fountain in my soul
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I've got joy like a fountain,
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I've got joy like a fountain
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I've got joy like
a fountain in my soul
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Praise the Lord. Amen.
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That's a great song.
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You know, it reminds me
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when I was a kid
going to camp meeting.
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I saw Pastor C.A.,
doing a motion for the ocean.
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I think of the joy...
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Yes. Amen.
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It's a good song though. It is.
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A lot of message to it.
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And you know, we need the peace,
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the love, and the joy
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in our hearts and in our family.
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We're going to
start talking about,
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Making a Happy Home,
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and without that
love, joy, and peace,
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you can have all knowledge,
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all wisdom and it means nothing.
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It's means absolutely nothing,
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so we're gonna talk
a little bit about it,
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we might step on our own toes...
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maybe some other toes.
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I know when I was...
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I was preparing personally,
it just reminded me at times,
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because at first I thought,
"Oh, wow, this is great."
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And then I saw,
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all the spots
where I had failed.
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Yes.
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She came down the
steps, and she said,
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"Honey, oh, why
wouldn't they study right here,
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I just failed so miserably."
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And I said,
"You know what honey?
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As human beings we look back,
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in every area of
my life I failed,
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I'm not lived up."
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You know by the grace of God
we're to live up, but we look,
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we find shortcomings and failure
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and we can look
back later and say,
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"You know what? I'd change
if I had the opportunity."
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But sometime we don't
have that opportunity.
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And so there's many out there
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that have no
worship service night,
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they fail
miserably in a lot of areas,
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they're crying because their
children are not in church.
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They're crying
maybe they've passed away,
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something bad has happened
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and they wish they could
start over and do it again.
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Well the good news is,
we can't change the past,
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but we can
redeem at the present.
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Amen.
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I was just gonna say
that because, you know,
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the devil likes
to bring up the past
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and actually bring
tremendous discouragement.
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And you're right, we
can't change the past.
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But, boy, we've got today.
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and what we can do with God's...
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Bible said what,
redeem, redeem the time.
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I got excited about that.
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Redeem the time
because I need it.
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The devil and I wrote
this article some time ago...
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"The Lord does not
judge us on the snapshot,
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he judges on the video."
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So, at any point in your life
and God would have judge you
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on that point in your
life, you might be in hot water.
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You know, you
might be in trouble.
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But he looks at the video,
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He looks at the
direction of your life,
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because all of us
hopefully can look back and say,
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"Yeah, I'm not
where I need to be
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but I'm a whole
lot better than I was."
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You know, and it's
through the grace of God,
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that is looking at
the trajectory of my life,
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not just at one point because
had he seen me 20 years ago,
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Lord, may have said,
"Well, you know, I can't."
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But now, I've made a
couple of improvements,
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you know, I've been a
recipient of His grace.
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Amen. So God is merciful to us.
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Amen. Amen.
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And a lot better to us
than we are to ourselves into
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and we are to each other
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sometimes in our
homes and in our marriage.
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You reminded me of
something that I read,
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it says same principle.
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It's not by our occasionally
good deeds or misdeeds...
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Yes.
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The way for heaven is
prepared, but it's the overall,
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he said project
it's our overall life.
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It's our upward tendencies.
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Yes, yes.
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So as long as we're
striving by the grace of God
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upward constantly
climbing and moving forward,
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so we want to
encourage folks at home,
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don't give up, this
what this study is all about
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that we should have
prayer shouldn't we, sweaty?
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Absolutely, I was
just gonna ask you,
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if you folks at home with...
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join with us in prayer,
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Pastor Kenny is
going to lead us in prayer
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and then after prayer,
quickly get your Bibles,
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you're gonna need
your Bibles tonight.
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Amen. Let's pray.
00:09:48.22\00:09:50.02
Loving Father in heaven,
00:09:50.05\00:09:51.39
we thank You for the privilege
that we have our prayer.
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We thank You for the
beginning of the Sabbath.
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We thank You in
many homes and many lives
00:09:55.72\00:09:57.39
that we've looked
within anticipation
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that the Sabbath hours,
00:09:59.53\00:10:01.46
we realize as the sun goes down,
00:10:01.50\00:10:02.83
we put away all of our
tools and all those things
00:10:02.86\00:10:05.70
that maybe
occupied us during the week
00:10:05.73\00:10:08.30
but now we can lay
all those things aside
00:10:08.34\00:10:10.24
with a perfect heart and
mind because you've said,
00:10:10.27\00:10:12.17
no work on this day.
00:10:12.21\00:10:13.54
Amen.
00:10:13.58\00:10:14.91
And that we can spend
this time fellowshipping,
00:10:14.94\00:10:16.28
and I know
you've looked down at me
00:10:16.31\00:10:17.65
and you said, "Oh,
he needs this time."
00:10:17.68\00:10:19.41
I thank You for that
00:10:19.45\00:10:21.08
and I know many, many
years of construction,
00:10:21.12\00:10:22.88
I look with
anticipation as Friday evening
00:10:22.92\00:10:25.15
to put the saw down,
not have to pick it up,
00:10:25.19\00:10:27.49
not worry about
what's going to take place,
00:10:27.52\00:10:29.02
not worry about fixing something
00:10:29.06\00:10:30.39
because I need to go to
the great creator and redeemer,
00:10:30.43\00:10:33.09
He's gonna fix me.
00:10:33.13\00:10:34.53
Bless now we pray
those who are viewing,
00:10:34.56\00:10:36.67
those who would listen,
00:10:36.70\00:10:38.33
we praise you're sitting
around as it were the families.
00:10:38.37\00:10:41.24
Maybe the fireplace, it
may just be in the circle,
00:10:41.27\00:10:43.34
may just be gathered
together in the living room,
00:10:43.37\00:10:45.11
but Lord, I pray
that each one now
00:10:45.14\00:10:46.94
on bended knee where you can.
00:10:46.98\00:10:48.64
We lift our
voices today and say,
00:10:48.68\00:10:50.08
Lord please
speak we need to hear
00:10:50.11\00:10:51.81
Your precious sweet voice.
00:10:51.85\00:10:53.52
We need to realize
the importance and so oft.
00:10:53.55\00:10:55.48
Oh, we've missed
some of these things up,
00:10:55.52\00:10:57.65
but You've always
impressed my heart and mind.
00:10:57.69\00:11:00.06
Kenny, you may have
messed these things up,
00:11:00.09\00:11:01.52
but you need... you
still tell the truth.
00:11:01.56\00:11:03.39
You may come back, and embrace
a little nod on your head
00:11:03.43\00:11:05.43
but you still tell
the way that it is.
00:11:05.46\00:11:07.46
So I thank you for
that, bless now we pray,
00:11:07.50\00:11:09.20
in the discussion, in
the group, and the passages
00:11:09.23\00:11:11.00
that we read, and the
unction of the Holy Spirit,
00:11:11.03\00:11:13.94
we may live above
and breathe, breathe,
00:11:13.97\00:11:17.11
breathe the air of heaven.
00:11:17.14\00:11:18.47
I'm gonna thank You
for this time together
00:11:18.51\00:11:19.84
and for the Sabbath
hours are meant to be,
00:11:19.87\00:11:21.84
we claim and we
thank you in Jesus' name
00:11:21.88\00:11:24.15
we thank You for every
precious soul in Jesus' name.
00:11:24.18\00:11:26.68
Amen. Amen
00:11:26.72\00:11:28.05
Amen. Amen.
00:11:28.08\00:11:29.42
I hope you are getting
your Bibles together now,
00:11:29.45\00:11:31.72
and we're going to maybe
even start a little backwards.
00:11:31.75\00:11:34.22
We may not stay that way,
00:11:34.26\00:11:35.59
but we're gonna
start by saying...
00:11:35.62\00:11:36.96
Well...
00:11:36.99\00:11:38.33
Look at Proverbs 15:17.
00:11:38.36\00:11:41.03
So get your Bibles or
your electronic Bible,
00:11:41.06\00:11:43.63
I'm gonna use my
electronic Bible,
00:11:43.67\00:11:45.63
and we're gonna
look up Proverbs 15: 17.
00:11:45.67\00:11:49.90
Proverbs 15:17.
00:11:49.94\00:11:51.77
This is an interesting,
interesting verse here,
00:11:51.81\00:11:55.24
and it says a lot.
00:11:55.28\00:11:56.61
It does say a
lot, it truly does.
00:11:56.64\00:11:58.48
Yes, it does.
00:11:58.51\00:11:59.85
And I think Brother
Greg has that verse already,
00:11:59.88\00:12:01.85
so Brother Greg,
would you read that for us?
00:12:01.88\00:12:03.75
Proverbs 15:17 says
00:12:03.79\00:12:05.75
and this is from
the King James Version,
00:12:05.79\00:12:07.12
it says, "Better is a
dinner of herbs where love is,
00:12:07.16\00:12:11.43
than a stalled ox
and hatred there in."
00:12:11.46\00:12:14.86
Okay, now the
question for that verse.
00:12:14.90\00:12:17.97
The question is one
secret of a happy home.
00:12:18.00\00:12:23.27
One secret of a happy home.
00:12:23.30\00:12:24.94
Amen. Love.
00:12:24.97\00:12:26.31
Okay. Beautiful.
00:12:26.34\00:12:27.81
Because to me, if you have,
00:12:27.84\00:12:29.54
you can have the outward
trappings of a home, right?
00:12:29.58\00:12:32.08
You could have a
marriage, you could have kids,
00:12:32.11\00:12:34.18
you could have
outward trappings of success,
00:12:34.22\00:12:36.75
you could have a
good home, and a good job,
00:12:36.79\00:12:38.45
and car, and all of that stuff.
00:12:38.49\00:12:40.19
That means nothing,
00:12:40.22\00:12:41.89
if we don't have
love in the home.
00:12:41.92\00:12:43.39
Because and it's not self-love
00:12:43.43\00:12:46.56
or Satan's type of
prideful selfish love.
00:12:46.59\00:12:49.56
It's the principle of
self-sacrificing love.
00:12:49.60\00:12:52.83
Remember when
Jesus walked this earth,
00:12:52.87\00:12:54.80
He lived to bless
others in His whole life,
00:12:54.84\00:12:58.14
from the cradle to the cross
00:12:58.17\00:12:59.77
was about
service to other people.
00:12:59.81\00:13:02.91
Self sacrificing love,
00:13:02.94\00:13:04.55
so to me this love
portrait here is not just love
00:13:04.58\00:13:07.62
as we would say the word
00:13:07.65\00:13:08.98
but, it's self sacrificing love.
00:13:09.02\00:13:11.15
What is best for my
husband or my children,
00:13:11.19\00:13:13.96
or not thinking of
self but of someone else.
00:13:13.99\00:13:16.83
Amen. That's beautiful.
00:13:16.86\00:13:18.19
I think it's interesting.
00:13:18.23\00:13:21.60
Sociologists tell us
that those who try marriage
00:13:21.63\00:13:26.74
by living together.
00:13:26.77\00:13:29.07
The rate of divorce
00:13:29.10\00:13:30.81
once they do get
married or separation is,
00:13:30.84\00:13:33.07
is exceeds those
who just get married,
00:13:33.11\00:13:36.48
so the secret
to staying together
00:13:36.51\00:13:39.01
can't be trial and error.
00:13:39.05\00:13:41.02
It can't be let me
dip my toes in the water
00:13:41.05\00:13:43.49
and see I like this.
00:13:43.52\00:13:45.72
I think the thing
that Jill touched on
00:13:45.75\00:13:47.96
even more than love
is or as much as love,
00:13:47.99\00:13:50.06
I won't say more
than love is sacrifice.
00:13:50.09\00:13:52.89
That marriage shows
you and children do it too,
00:13:52.93\00:13:56.53
that ain't all about you.
00:13:56.56\00:13:59.03
If we're gonna stay together,
somebody's got to yield,
00:13:59.07\00:14:01.44
somebody's got to sacrifice.
00:14:01.47\00:14:02.80
Love is got to be the,
00:14:02.84\00:14:04.57
the pan in which
the cake is baked.
00:14:04.61\00:14:07.58
But somebody's got to sacrifice,
00:14:07.61\00:14:08.94
somebody's got
to say, "I'm sorry."
00:14:08.98\00:14:10.31
Yes. And mean it.
00:14:10.35\00:14:11.75
And the truth is, no
matter how long you date,
00:14:11.78\00:14:15.48
you never
really know everything.
00:14:15.52\00:14:17.52
That's true.
Till you say, I did...
00:14:17.55\00:14:19.32
Tell it all,
come on that's right.
00:14:19.35\00:14:20.69
Then when you do...
00:14:20.72\00:14:22.06
Then you begin learning.
Yeah, you keep on doing.
00:14:22.09\00:14:24.29
And that's how
you begin to learn.
00:14:24.33\00:14:26.19
And that's when
your love got to,
00:14:26.23\00:14:28.56
got to kick in on
the days when you get up,
00:14:28.60\00:14:30.93
and your breath is
not good, or you know,
00:14:30.97\00:14:34.04
the hair is not combed
and now we in this thing.
00:14:34.07\00:14:37.07
You know, we're
here we are, you know,
00:14:37.11\00:14:38.81
and we got to love
each other through this,
00:14:38.84\00:14:40.51
or when one person gets
sick or something changes,
00:14:40.54\00:14:43.51
I used to be able to
get up and cook for you,
00:14:43.55\00:14:44.98
I can't do that now.
00:14:45.01\00:14:47.12
You gonna love me through this.
00:14:47.15\00:14:48.78
Or I remember
and I will say this,
00:14:48.82\00:14:51.02
when my mom got breast cancer.
00:14:51.05\00:14:54.12
And I heard my dad
going and just talk with her,
00:14:54.16\00:14:57.39
because she was
feeling less than whole,
00:14:57.43\00:14:59.39
you know, she
felt, she felt it keenly.
00:14:59.43\00:15:02.80
And my dad was
not a great orator.
00:15:02.83\00:15:05.57
You know, he
wasn't Shakespearean,
00:15:05.60\00:15:07.94
he just went in
and just assured her,
00:15:07.97\00:15:09.74
"It's all right.
Everything is gonna be okay."
00:15:09.77\00:15:12.34
And that's what love,
that's what love does.
00:15:12.37\00:15:14.41
Because you know,
00:15:14.44\00:15:15.78
you've got to love when they're,
00:15:15.81\00:15:17.15
when they're 21
00:15:17.18\00:15:18.71
and, and, and their
weight matches their age.
00:15:18.75\00:15:22.08
And 20 years later have
to wait to match the age,
00:15:22.12\00:15:24.69
you still got to love them.
00:15:24.72\00:15:26.05
You're starting a challenge.
00:15:26.09\00:15:27.86
He's got a challenge
to set you right here.
00:15:27.89\00:15:29.76
All right.
00:15:29.79\00:15:31.13
So, so, so, love and I
think just one is so important
00:15:31.16\00:15:34.46
that it's got
to see you through,
00:15:34.50\00:15:35.96
you know, it's got to
put legs on the ground.
00:15:36.00\00:15:37.67
'cause love is gonna
change, nobody's gonna be tall,
00:15:37.70\00:15:39.67
and thin, and
shapely, and everything
00:15:39.70\00:15:41.40
and whatever stuff drops,
00:15:41.44\00:15:42.77
and sags, and shifts, and moves,
00:15:42.80\00:15:44.14
and, you know, kind of thing in,
00:15:44.17\00:15:45.61
you still got to love,
00:15:45.64\00:15:47.38
you got to sacrifice.
00:15:47.41\00:15:48.74
I'd like to look at
that verses a little bit more
00:15:48.78\00:15:50.78
and talk about what that
verse is actually saying,
00:15:50.81\00:15:53.85
it says, "Better is a dinner
of herbs where love is..."
00:15:53.88\00:15:58.25
Does that mean
herbs are so good for us,
00:15:58.29\00:16:00.46
or we shouldn't be
having dinners of herbs.
00:16:00.49\00:16:02.56
Well not for food.
00:16:02.59\00:16:03.93
"Than a stalled ox
and hatred with in."
00:16:03.96\00:16:06.66
So what is it,
what is saying here?
00:16:06.70\00:16:09.80
Jill alluded to it.
00:16:09.83\00:16:11.23
My Bible, here it says,
00:16:11.27\00:16:13.30
"The dinner of herbs is
the sparse, a simple diet."
00:16:13.34\00:16:16.54
So it would be something
00:16:16.57\00:16:17.91
maybe we don't
have a lot of money
00:16:17.94\00:16:19.27
and we can't afford some lavish
spread or maid to cook for us,
00:16:19.31\00:16:23.35
so, you know
that type of things...
00:16:23.38\00:16:24.71
Because the stalled
ox represents finances,
00:16:24.75\00:16:28.62
money you can obtain that,
00:16:28.65\00:16:30.85
and you know sometimes
herbs are less expensive,
00:16:30.89\00:16:33.56
you can grow them on your own.
00:16:33.59\00:16:34.92
Does that mean that
our bodies don't need them
00:16:34.96\00:16:36.83
by any form or fashion.
00:16:36.86\00:16:38.59
But it's just saying,
00:16:38.63\00:16:39.96
you can have just a
little bit of money,
00:16:40.00\00:16:41.46
be poor, be struggling,
00:16:41.50\00:16:43.13
but a home is so much
better with the love is.
00:16:43.16\00:16:45.13
That right.
00:16:45.17\00:16:46.50
Than when you
have a lot of means,
00:16:46.53\00:16:48.44
finances, a beautiful home.
00:16:48.47\00:16:51.07
You know, it could be
like walking into a museum.
00:16:51.11\00:16:53.98
But when if there
is hatred that abounds,
00:16:54.01\00:16:56.85
it's not a home.
00:16:56.88\00:16:58.21
My translation
says the fatted calf
00:16:58.25\00:17:00.32
which is a term that we hear.
00:17:00.35\00:17:01.68
You know, that's
the lavish table.
00:17:01.72\00:17:03.45
Herbs are really
for seasoning food.
00:17:03.49\00:17:06.86
But if that's
all you got to eat.
00:17:06.89\00:17:08.42
You know, you're in
a pretty rough strait.
00:17:08.46\00:17:10.53
But it's better to be in
that rough strait with Jesus
00:17:10.56\00:17:12.59
and love than to have a
table where full of food,
00:17:12.63\00:17:15.96
I'm sitting at one end,
00:17:16.00\00:17:17.33
and you're down
at the other end,
00:17:17.37\00:17:18.70
you know, the
butler is in the middle
00:17:18.73\00:17:20.07
carrying recipes back and forth,
00:17:20.10\00:17:21.44
but there is no love in home.
00:17:21.47\00:17:22.80
That's right.
00:17:22.84\00:17:24.17
Isn't our love for fellow man
00:17:24.21\00:17:27.61
really tells of our
love for God, isn't it?
00:17:27.64\00:17:30.75
I mean that's our
neighbor, that's everybody
00:17:30.78\00:17:33.75
that it really
tells how much we love God
00:17:33.78\00:17:36.25
is the way we deal
with our, our fellow man.
00:17:36.28\00:17:39.39
So sometime look how we
deal with our fellow man,
00:17:39.42\00:17:41.66
or our neighbor, or we
say, he's not our neighbor
00:17:41.69\00:17:43.99
or we don't like
him now, because...
00:17:44.03\00:17:46.33
We need to be very careful
00:17:46.36\00:17:47.83
on these two writing all
the law in the testament,
00:17:47.86\00:17:50.13
duty to God and then
our duty to our fellow man.
00:17:50.17\00:17:53.34
Must be base has been mentioned
here on love, true love.
00:17:53.37\00:17:57.47
And I think Pastor.
00:17:57.51\00:17:58.84
Kenny, you know, not only
are we to love the neighbors,
00:17:58.87\00:18:01.88
the strangers, whatever
the hardest person to love
00:18:01.91\00:18:04.58
is the person closest.
00:18:04.61\00:18:05.95
That's exactly right.
00:18:05.98\00:18:07.32
Because Greg knows
more than anybody my faults.
00:18:07.35\00:18:09.98
And she knows my of course.
00:18:10.02\00:18:11.55
The things you
struggle with whatever,
00:18:11.59\00:18:13.62
and so whoever you
are the closest with,
00:18:13.66\00:18:16.12
that would be where we need
to express the love the most.
00:18:16.16\00:18:19.13
And sometimes we
don't want to do that,
00:18:19.16\00:18:20.50
you know, it's easy
to love everyone else,
00:18:20.53\00:18:22.33
when you go to church.
00:18:22.36\00:18:23.70
And then in home it's like,
00:18:23.73\00:18:25.07
"Okay, I'll be a
different person."
00:18:25.10\00:18:26.43
But no, God calls us
to that at home first,
00:18:26.47\00:18:30.01
and then that
extends to outside the home.
00:18:30.04\00:18:32.61
Very good.
00:18:32.64\00:18:33.98
I think when our home is
happy and how the love of God,
00:18:34.01\00:18:39.28
it's so much easier to
deal with the outside also.
00:18:39.31\00:18:42.48
Oh, absolutely.
00:18:42.52\00:18:43.85
When you see families
00:18:43.89\00:18:47.09
that have so much
struggle in their home
00:18:47.12\00:18:50.99
and then just see them
out and they can't hide it,
00:18:51.03\00:18:55.10
you can see that
there is trouble.
00:18:55.13\00:18:57.27
But when the law of
God isn't in the home,
00:18:57.30\00:18:59.77
and you have a happiness,
00:18:59.80\00:19:02.80
not that we never gonna have
00:19:02.84\00:19:05.74
even an argument
00:19:05.77\00:19:07.84
between the husband
00:19:07.88\00:19:09.71
so or even with
the children sometimes.
00:19:09.74\00:19:13.42
The love of God
overrides sort of then.
00:19:13.45\00:19:16.38
And so it's done, and
he is taking care of it,
00:19:16.42\00:19:19.19
and then we
continue on loving each other
00:19:19.22\00:19:22.86
and caring for each other.
00:19:22.89\00:19:25.23
And the beautiful thing
is the closer we draw to God,
00:19:25.26\00:19:29.03
the less frequency and hopefully
00:19:29.06\00:19:31.83
we get to the point
where this dissention
00:19:31.87\00:19:34.07
does not even raise
its ugly head anymore.
00:19:34.10\00:19:37.17
And I wanted
00:19:37.21\00:19:38.54
because, we've got
actually 18 questions
00:19:38.57\00:19:40.98
but we might get through three.
00:19:41.01\00:19:42.88
That's exactly right.
00:19:46.92\00:19:48.58
Something came to my
mind when Jill was speaking,
00:19:48.62\00:19:51.39
she talked about that Greg knew
all her faults and vice versa.
00:19:51.42\00:19:55.72
And I want to
share a quote to you,
00:19:55.76\00:19:57.76
because most likely we
won't even get down that far.
00:19:57.79\00:20:01.10
And this quote is from
Adventist home page 177,
00:20:01.13\00:20:05.63
I'll just read
once sentence, it says.
00:20:05.67\00:20:07.94
"The heart of the
wife should be the grave
00:20:07.97\00:20:13.27
for the faults of the husband,
00:20:13.31\00:20:15.88
and the heart of the husband
00:20:15.91\00:20:17.98
the grave for his wife's fault."
00:20:18.01\00:20:20.28
What does that mean?
00:20:20.32\00:20:21.65
It means that
we're not to go out,
00:20:21.68\00:20:23.12
they're buried, they're done.
00:20:23.15\00:20:25.42
You're not to go out,
I'm not to go to sister Irma,
00:20:25.45\00:20:27.89
and say, "Oh, sister Irma,
00:20:27.92\00:20:29.26
you won't believe
what Pastor Kenny did,
00:20:29.29\00:20:31.29
you just won't believe it."
00:20:31.33\00:20:33.09
It's buried. That's right.
00:20:33.13\00:20:34.93
With no power of
resurrection. We deal.
00:20:34.96\00:20:36.56
Exactly we deal,
between us and God alone.
00:20:36.60\00:20:40.37
Indeed, yeah. Amen.
00:20:40.40\00:20:42.07
That is
powerful. It is powerful.
00:20:42.10\00:20:44.01
I mean the Bible
says, was it Mark?
00:20:44.04\00:20:47.24
Was it chapter 3,
talks about a verse 25,
00:20:47.28\00:20:51.11
"A house divided
against itself cannot stand."
00:20:51.15\00:20:54.32
That's right.
00:20:54.35\00:20:55.68
And those divided means a house,
00:20:55.72\00:20:58.52
he's talking about
really a family the word,
00:20:58.55\00:21:01.19
I think you can
agree is, is it's a family,
00:21:01.22\00:21:03.86
it's a family circle
00:21:03.89\00:21:06.13
that it cannot
stay together, you see.
00:21:06.16\00:21:09.06
If our minds and
stuff, if one wants to,
00:21:09.10\00:21:11.10
you know, go do
this, one wants to do that,
00:21:11.13\00:21:12.53
we need to be together,
we need to be in unity,
00:21:12.57\00:21:15.07
divided a family that
even, that even means relatives.
00:21:15.10\00:21:17.47
That's right.
00:21:17.51\00:21:19.71
Relatives and family
00:21:19.74\00:21:21.08
if you're not
coming to agreement,
00:21:21.11\00:21:22.58
unless two agree how
can we walk together.
00:21:22.61\00:21:24.45
There's gonna be division
somewhere along the line,
00:21:24.48\00:21:27.05
but we need to make sure
00:21:27.08\00:21:28.42
that we're doing what
God would have us in His word
00:21:28.45\00:21:30.35
and give it certainly
an effort and to love.
00:21:30.39\00:21:31.85
Amen.
00:21:31.89\00:21:33.22
You know, I think also a case,
you know because we're all,
00:21:33.25\00:21:34.59
I mean Jill and
I are not perfect.
00:21:34.62\00:21:36.52
So when there are
issues, we'll say fault,
00:21:36.56\00:21:38.66
we're using the word faults
00:21:38.69\00:21:40.03
would be to
actually, like you're saying,
00:21:40.06\00:21:42.13
you know, it's not good to
talk to other people about them.
00:21:42.16\00:21:43.83
But then, to
actually not just bury them,
00:21:43.87\00:21:46.00
actually work on them, you know.
00:21:46.03\00:21:47.37
Oh, yes.
00:21:47.40\00:21:48.84
You know, this is something
I'm really struggling with.
00:21:48.87\00:21:50.77
Yes. Jill,
please help me in this.
00:21:50.81\00:21:52.44
You know, next time you see me
00:21:52.47\00:21:53.81
doing whatever that
you know are fault of mine.
00:21:53.84\00:21:55.31
You know help me.
00:21:55.34\00:21:56.68
So that's where
actually you can improve,
00:21:56.71\00:21:58.31
not necessary
just burying the stuff.
00:21:58.35\00:22:00.52
Amongst us
between Jill and myself
00:22:00.55\00:22:02.48
but actually work on issues
that we can then strengthen so.
00:22:02.52\00:22:07.92
I mean that's really a
point where you need to look at
00:22:07.96\00:22:10.49
because if we
keep, I'm thinking,
00:22:10.53\00:22:13.06
as I'm growing up in the home,
00:22:13.09\00:22:14.43
as if we keep
these things in our self
00:22:14.46\00:22:16.26
and we don't take care
of them and talk 'em through
00:22:16.30\00:22:18.13
and find some kind of
solution and an answer.
00:22:18.17\00:22:20.17
This is what I expect you baby,
00:22:20.20\00:22:21.84
what you expect of me
and let's look it out here.
00:22:21.87\00:22:24.01
A couple of times when I needed,
00:22:24.04\00:22:26.24
I'm gonna call it a
good sound shellacking,
00:22:26.27\00:22:28.64
a thumping at home
my dad want to give.
00:22:28.68\00:22:31.21
There's a time
or two he had grace
00:22:31.25\00:22:33.62
and mercy and he let it go.
00:22:33.65\00:22:35.88
I experienced the
same. He buried it.
00:22:35.92\00:22:37.59
Just what you
were talking about.
00:22:37.62\00:22:38.95
He kind of buried
and let it go and say,
00:22:38.99\00:22:40.32
we're going to
let it go this time,
00:22:40.36\00:22:41.69
Kenny, don't do it again.
00:22:41.72\00:22:43.06
Well, about the second
or third time I did it,
00:22:43.09\00:22:44.43
I got the shellacking
00:22:44.46\00:22:45.79
and he said, "Now
you remember last time,
00:22:45.83\00:22:47.30
you did the
same thing last time,
00:22:47.33\00:22:50.17
you should have
been, I want to give it."
00:22:50.20\00:22:52.27
I'm just simply saying,
it wasn't taken care of.
00:22:52.30\00:22:55.00
And it will come back
to get you eventually,
00:22:55.04\00:22:56.71
so I like that sat
down talk about them.
00:22:56.74\00:22:59.57
I say to her
many times, I'll say.
00:22:59.61\00:23:00.94
"Honey, you made..."
00:23:00.98\00:23:02.31
I'm not saying I'm even right
on this but this is how I feel.
00:23:02.34\00:23:04.61
Is this okay?
00:23:04.65\00:23:05.98
This is how I feel inside,
00:23:06.01\00:23:07.75
I want to be based on the word.
00:23:07.78\00:23:09.12
This how I feel, I
may not be right about it.
00:23:09.15\00:23:10.85
You're gonna
have to tell me that,
00:23:10.89\00:23:12.25
but I'm trying to
look at a principle here.
00:23:12.29\00:23:13.62
Yeah, that's good.
00:23:13.66\00:23:14.99
So it's not always,
well, I'm right, you're wrong.
00:23:15.02\00:23:16.36
It's I'm not sure that I
am, but this is the way I feel
00:23:16.39\00:23:18.39
because I really want.
00:23:18.43\00:23:20.23
You know, I
really want her to know
00:23:20.26\00:23:22.73
how I feel and
then if it's not right,
00:23:22.76\00:23:25.17
she can help to
gauge, and judge,
00:23:25.20\00:23:26.67
and bring me back
to where I need to be.
00:23:26.70\00:23:30.11
It's important not
hide it what you said,
00:23:30.14\00:23:32.01
because hiding
only tries to cover it
00:23:32.04\00:23:33.48
and then when a moment comes,
00:23:33.51\00:23:35.78
we just all jump up
and say, well, this is...
00:23:35.81\00:23:37.45
I've been hiding it too long
00:23:37.48\00:23:38.95
and I'm just going
to come out with it.
00:23:38.98\00:23:40.52
In a sense that
Chris was quite right,
00:23:40.55\00:23:41.88
we may not, we may
only get to one or two.
00:23:41.92\00:23:43.55
It's all right. That's okay.
00:23:43.59\00:23:45.15
Because the contrast that is,
00:23:45.19\00:23:48.36
not putting your
business in the street.
00:23:48.39\00:23:51.79
There are certain things we
need to work out between us.
00:23:51.83\00:23:54.23
Thank you.
00:23:54.26\00:23:55.60
I don't need to
say, hey, Pastor Kenny,
00:23:55.63\00:23:57.20
"Do you have any idea?"
00:23:57.23\00:24:00.20
You know, I need to talk
to her and bring in Jesus,
00:24:00.24\00:24:03.97
and kind of let it
00:24:04.01\00:24:05.34
unless you're going
for professional help.
00:24:05.37\00:24:07.31
Sometimes you
need professional help.
00:24:07.34\00:24:08.94
But you don't
want to be grabbing
00:24:08.98\00:24:10.31
every Tom, Dick,
Harry, anybody with the answer
00:24:10.35\00:24:12.15
like my wife is the worst,
00:24:12.18\00:24:13.52
you know, my
husband is the lousiest
00:24:13.55\00:24:14.88
and that kind of thing.
00:24:14.92\00:24:16.25
First of all, it puts
no trust in your spouse.
00:24:16.28\00:24:18.62
That's right. That's right.
00:24:18.65\00:24:19.99
And you cannot love
what you do not trust.
00:24:20.02\00:24:21.52
It's just you
can't, if you lose trust,
00:24:21.56\00:24:23.99
love is going to get
burnt up into some kind of way.
00:24:24.03\00:24:26.83
So you've got to
find a way to work it out
00:24:26.86\00:24:29.26
between and that's what,
00:24:29.30\00:24:30.63
that's what the love
of Christ is all about.
00:24:30.67\00:24:33.57
Love will get you in there,
but love also keep you going...
00:24:33.60\00:24:36.64
That's good. And
it keep you running.
00:24:36.67\00:24:38.01
'Cause this is more
than what we're talking,
00:24:38.04\00:24:39.54
we're sitting
with all the family
00:24:39.57\00:24:40.91
and making a happy home.
00:24:40.94\00:24:42.28
This is the making,
00:24:42.31\00:24:43.65
the foundation what
everyone's talking about here,
00:24:43.68\00:24:46.11
because there's eventually
may be children involved
00:24:46.15\00:24:49.48
and they have ears.
00:24:49.52\00:24:51.82
And they hear, and
they look and they listen
00:24:51.85\00:24:56.12
and they pick
up things like you.
00:24:56.16\00:24:57.49
Oh, what?
00:24:57.53\00:24:58.86
I look to them and say,
00:24:58.89\00:25:00.23
oh, they picked
up those bad things.
00:25:00.26\00:25:01.60
You know something, you might,
00:25:01.63\00:25:03.10
you know quick
maybe the temper whatever,
00:25:03.13\00:25:04.60
or they might
see you working with,
00:25:04.63\00:25:06.33
their grandson stayed with us
00:25:06.37\00:25:07.70
for a couple of
days and he was busy.
00:25:07.74\00:25:09.50
I was out in the barn,
00:25:09.54\00:25:10.87
and he thought
he had in my house,
00:25:10.91\00:25:12.27
he had a six or
eight bales of hay up high.
00:25:12.31\00:25:14.51
He was climbing up those thing,
00:25:14.54\00:25:16.58
well, basically, he was
really destroying what was there
00:25:16.61\00:25:18.41
because he had a
little pitchfork,
00:25:18.45\00:25:19.88
he was trying to
shoot hay up with strings,
00:25:19.91\00:25:22.22
you know, I had one of those
things, I just let him go to.
00:25:22.25\00:25:23.75
He worked.
00:25:23.79\00:25:25.12
He worked and he worked,
his little face was just,
00:25:25.15\00:25:26.76
he is five years
old, just beet red,
00:25:26.79\00:25:28.42
sweat coming down,
this on Sunday I think.
00:25:28.46\00:25:31.79
And he worked and
so he come in, right...
00:25:31.83\00:25:34.60
Even if no one was
there, I'll be on the yard,
00:25:34.63\00:25:36.23
I'm watching him,
I'm watching him play.
00:25:36.26\00:25:38.30
About 5 o'clock in the evening,
00:25:38.33\00:25:40.70
he had his
little, little shovel,
00:25:40.74\00:25:42.60
he come walking
up toward the house.
00:25:42.64\00:25:44.37
And he had to hear this
00:25:44.41\00:25:45.74
and somebody looked
at him, he looked at me
00:25:45.77\00:25:47.11
he said, threw the shovel down,
00:25:47.14\00:25:48.94
he said, "Grandpa, I'm
finished, I'm through."
00:25:48.98\00:25:53.98
I'm not sure what all prompted,
he is little private out there,
00:25:54.02\00:25:56.58
he just threw it
down and looked at me,
00:25:56.62\00:25:57.95
he said, "Grandpa, I'm
through, I'm finished."
00:25:57.99\00:26:00.56
He walked into
house and he never back.
00:26:00.59\00:26:05.29
He heard somebody say,
00:26:05.33\00:26:07.53
"I'm finished,
I'm done, I'm through,
00:26:07.56\00:26:08.96
I don't have anymore do."
00:26:09.00\00:26:10.50
He knew he came to that point,
he did, he had it, he said,
00:26:10.53\00:26:12.43
"I've had it, I'm done."
00:26:12.47\00:26:14.17
You know, as
everybody is talking,
00:26:14.20\00:26:16.50
we're talking
about getting along,
00:26:16.54\00:26:17.87
we're talking about
trusting each other,
00:26:17.91\00:26:19.91
and I was looking
actually for another quote.
00:26:19.94\00:26:21.94
I just couldn't put
my finger on it here
00:26:21.98\00:26:23.75
but it talks about that we need
to be drawing closer to God.
00:26:23.78\00:26:26.18
Amen.
00:26:26.21\00:26:27.55
And there's a quote in here,
you can think of a large circle
00:26:27.58\00:26:30.92
and there's
many, many, many lines
00:26:30.95\00:26:33.96
that are going
towards the center.
00:26:33.99\00:26:36.12
So as we're
getting closer to Christ
00:26:36.16\00:26:38.59
in the center of that circle,
00:26:38.63\00:26:40.50
we are also all the
lines are drawing closer
00:26:40.53\00:26:44.10
to one another.
00:26:44.13\00:26:45.53
So as we're working for Christ,
00:26:45.57\00:26:47.37
as Christ is center of our home,
00:26:47.40\00:26:49.40
we actually become
closer to each other.
00:26:49.44\00:26:52.21
And I find that's the
same even in our Christian
00:26:52.24\00:26:56.04
walk with those
brothers and sisters around us.
00:26:56.08\00:26:58.71
You just have a bond
00:26:58.75\00:27:00.62
that you don't
have with other people.
00:27:00.65\00:27:02.78
There's a spirit
that connects us.
00:27:02.82\00:27:04.79
And so, then there
is trust, there's love,
00:27:04.82\00:27:07.49
and we can pass
it on to our children
00:27:07.52\00:27:09.52
and to our
neighbors, and those around us.
00:27:09.56\00:27:12.59
Shall we try for
question number two?
00:27:12.63\00:27:14.46
Sounds good.
00:27:14.50\00:27:15.83
All right, I'll
actually give you
00:27:15.86\00:27:17.20
the question this time first.
00:27:17.23\00:27:18.57
Let's try. Let's go.
00:27:18.60\00:27:19.93
Question number two
00:27:19.97\00:27:21.30
is God
acquainted with your life?
00:27:21.34\00:27:24.81
And the text for this
one is Psalms 139:2-4.
00:27:24.84\00:27:31.65
Psalms 139:2-4.
00:27:31.68\00:27:37.59
The Bible says, "You know my
sitting down and my rising up,
00:27:37.62\00:27:41.39
understand my
thought are far off.
00:27:41.42\00:27:44.13
You comprehend my
path and my lying down
00:27:44.16\00:27:47.50
and are
acquainted with all my ways
00:27:47.53\00:27:50.03
for there is not
a word on my tongue,
00:27:50.07\00:27:53.34
for the whole O, Lord,
you know it all together."
00:27:53.37\00:27:56.81
Was there any question?
00:27:56.84\00:28:01.14
Is there any question?
00:28:01.18\00:28:02.61
Absolutely, isn't he?
00:28:05.88\00:28:07.22
That's one of my
favorite Psalms I think,
00:28:07.25\00:28:09.25
because it just talks
about God knowing us inside out.
00:28:09.28\00:28:11.52
Yes, He does.
00:28:11.55\00:28:12.89
You know, He knows who I am.
00:28:12.92\00:28:14.42
He knows what He
had in mind for me
00:28:14.46\00:28:17.39
when He created me
in my mother's womb.
00:28:17.43\00:28:20.10
He knows where I've
been, the places I've fallen.
00:28:20.13\00:28:24.43
And He knows the plan of
redemption He has over my life.
00:28:24.47\00:28:27.77
And He knows who I
can become in Jesus.
00:28:27.80\00:28:31.87
And so, I think
He knows everything.
00:28:31.91\00:28:33.88
Not only the bad,
but He knows the good
00:28:33.91\00:28:35.84
and He knows what He
wants to work in our hearts.
00:28:35.88\00:28:38.38
That's true. How
he wants to change us.
00:28:38.41\00:28:40.52
And I think sometimes in
marriage, praise the Lord,
00:28:40.55\00:28:43.15
I don't think we've
ever experienced this
00:28:43.18\00:28:44.95
but sometimes
people have a tough time.
00:28:44.99\00:28:47.96
You know many, many
marriages are struggling
00:28:47.99\00:28:51.93
and you may feel
like, nobody understands me.
00:28:51.96\00:28:56.30
Nobody understands where I
am, and what I'm going through,
00:28:56.33\00:28:59.53
the Lord Jesus does,
00:28:59.57\00:29:01.07
He know everything about
it and He wants to fix it.
00:29:01.10\00:29:03.87
Yes, yes. It's the best part.
00:29:03.91\00:29:06.11
And that's a beautiful part,
00:29:06.14\00:29:08.14
but the key to
fixing a marriage,
00:29:08.18\00:29:10.31
the key is that both
parties must be willing.
00:29:10.35\00:29:15.58
Both parties must
be willing to work.
00:29:15.62\00:29:18.22
I've always said
that a marriage is a work.
00:29:18.25\00:29:21.49
It's a work of a lifetime.
00:29:21.52\00:29:23.63
But if you have one party
00:29:23.66\00:29:25.59
that's constantly, constantly,
constantly trying to work,
00:29:25.63\00:29:29.63
eventually
everything will fall apart.
00:29:29.66\00:29:32.80
It takes two, which is
why I believe God so...
00:29:32.83\00:29:38.67
So many times told His people
00:29:38.71\00:29:40.48
don't marry
outside of the faith.
00:29:40.51\00:29:43.41
It's hard enough to be married
00:29:43.45\00:29:45.65
when you're both
walking in the same faith,
00:29:45.68\00:29:48.08
but when you walk outside,
00:29:48.12\00:29:49.45
then you've already
got several strikes,
00:29:49.48\00:29:51.95
you know, against you.
00:29:51.99\00:29:53.52
And so, it takes
both parties to work
00:29:53.56\00:29:56.59
and you can try for years,
00:29:56.62\00:29:58.39
you can suffer,
it can destroy you
00:29:58.43\00:30:00.30
mentally, physically,
00:30:00.33\00:30:01.66
spiritually as
you're struggling.
00:30:01.70\00:30:03.80
But if both
parties don't get on board,
00:30:03.83\00:30:05.83
it just will not work.
00:30:05.87\00:30:07.94
So I encourage
all of you at home,
00:30:07.97\00:30:10.07
get on board together,
00:30:10.11\00:30:12.37
get on board for your family,
00:30:12.41\00:30:13.78
your children,
they are worth it.
00:30:13.81\00:30:15.81
They are worth it, and
the beautiful thing is,
00:30:15.84\00:30:18.45
you know, when we read
that passage in Psalms 139,
00:30:18.48\00:30:21.22
those three verses.
00:30:21.25\00:30:23.49
There are things
that happen in our life,
00:30:23.52\00:30:25.35
happen in the marriages.
00:30:25.39\00:30:27.52
We just mentioned
were to be a graveyard.
00:30:27.56\00:30:29.82
Well, if you can't go
and talk to somebody about it
00:30:29.86\00:30:32.19
especially us women.
00:30:32.23\00:30:34.73
We like to talk.
00:30:34.76\00:30:36.56
We like to share and if
we can't go share with him,
00:30:36.60\00:30:39.57
you know, there's
things that we can take
00:30:39.60\00:30:41.17
to our Heavenly Father.
00:30:41.20\00:30:43.71
That's right. That's right.
00:30:43.74\00:30:45.07
And we find healing,
we find encouragement,
00:30:45.11\00:30:49.04
we find peace,
00:30:49.08\00:30:50.65
and it may not
happen at that moment,
00:30:50.68\00:30:52.61
but give it time through prayer
00:30:52.65\00:30:54.45
and struggling with
your Heavenly Father,
00:30:54.48\00:30:56.85
because He
knows every situation.
00:30:56.89\00:30:59.19
He knows the hearts.
00:30:59.22\00:31:00.56
He knows every secret
sin, every secret anything.
00:31:00.59\00:31:03.96
He already knows it.
00:31:03.99\00:31:05.33
So talk to Him
about it, bring it to Him.
00:31:05.36\00:31:07.30
So if you have division.
00:31:07.33\00:31:09.33
If there is
division in the family.
00:31:09.36\00:31:11.63
If there is
division in the church,
00:31:11.67\00:31:14.60
division of our neighbors,
00:31:14.64\00:31:15.97
I guarantee you there's
been a disconnect with Christ.
00:31:16.00\00:31:18.54
That's right. Absolutely.
00:31:18.57\00:31:19.91
You know, and the answer to,
00:31:19.94\00:31:21.28
you know, getting back
secret of talking about unity.
00:31:21.31\00:31:23.78
It's not maybe,
some, sometime it is,
00:31:23.81\00:31:26.48
but it's not diplomacy.
00:31:26.51\00:31:28.28
It's not manage
things differently
00:31:28.32\00:31:30.19
or go here, go there and do it.
00:31:30.22\00:31:32.62
Once again, it always
comes back union with Christ.
00:31:32.65\00:31:36.06
It's always, it will always fit,
00:31:36.09\00:31:37.89
it will never change.
00:31:37.93\00:31:39.26
You know what
marriage does for you.
00:31:39.29\00:31:40.70
One of the things it does.
00:31:40.73\00:31:42.40
What comes to
mind is Galatians 6:4,
00:31:42.43\00:31:45.77
"Let each one
examine their own work."
00:31:45.80\00:31:49.60
Marriage provides for you
a mirror to look at yourself.
00:31:49.64\00:31:53.31
Now, it is very
easy to look at others.
00:31:53.34\00:31:55.44
You know, even your wife
well, you know, about you.
00:31:55.48\00:31:58.98
You know, exclamation,
exclamation, exclamation,
00:31:59.01\00:32:02.42
but it really...
00:32:02.45\00:32:06.19
But really, the truth
is that person is there
00:32:06.22\00:32:10.39
to among other things
00:32:10.43\00:32:11.79
give your mirror
to look at yourself.
00:32:11.83\00:32:13.53
You know, God knows
you, He is not fool.
00:32:13.56\00:32:15.66
No.
00:32:15.70\00:32:17.03
The person has got to get a
little handle on you is you,
00:32:17.07\00:32:20.04
you know, and you
got to do it in the light
00:32:20.07\00:32:21.77
of that other person
00:32:21.80\00:32:23.14
who is sharing your life,
and in the light of God's love.
00:32:23.17\00:32:26.17
So let...
00:32:26.21\00:32:27.54
Don't just spend all your time
00:32:27.58\00:32:28.91
pointing your
finger at somebody else.
00:32:28.94\00:32:30.28
You've got to
hook that thing back
00:32:30.31\00:32:31.65
and look at yourself
and see your own faults.
00:32:31.68\00:32:33.65
And sometimes the
things that you hate the most
00:32:33.68\00:32:36.52
in the person
you're living with are
00:32:36.55\00:32:38.35
because you see
those things in yourself.
00:32:38.39\00:32:40.12
And when you, when you
begin to work with that
00:32:40.16\00:32:42.49
and work with yourself,
then healing begins to come...
00:32:42.52\00:32:44.53
You know, as you were
talking about pointing fingers.
00:32:44.56\00:32:48.00
I felt it.
00:32:48.03\00:32:49.36
You know, I wanted
to reach and rescue.
00:32:49.40\00:32:52.87
And it reminds me of
something Steps to Christ,
00:32:52.90\00:32:55.54
I don't have that
pulled up, I can't,
00:32:55.57\00:32:57.37
you know quote it
exactly but it talks about
00:32:57.41\00:32:59.27
how Christ never
ever needlessly wounded.
00:32:59.31\00:33:04.05
Yes. That's
right. A sensitive soul.
00:33:04.08\00:33:06.68
And yet, so
often, we're wounding...
00:33:06.72\00:33:10.92
each other, our children.
00:33:10.95\00:33:12.89
Yeah.
00:33:12.92\00:33:14.26
I always said, you know,
if anybody even growing up,
00:33:14.29\00:33:16.99
if anybody could make me lose
my temper, it was my brother.
00:33:17.03\00:33:19.66
And I hated myself for it,
00:33:19.69\00:33:21.80
but it's those
that we love the most,
00:33:21.83\00:33:24.20
those that I pray for the most,
00:33:24.23\00:33:26.07
those that know our
weaknesses, our strengths
00:33:26.10\00:33:28.90
that sometimes we
let that guard down
00:33:28.94\00:33:31.07
and things come out.
00:33:31.11\00:33:32.44
But the good news
is it's our trajectory,
00:33:32.47\00:33:34.94
it's, we're going
forward, we can change it.
00:33:34.98\00:33:36.91
Yes.
00:33:36.95\00:33:38.28
We can say we are sorry.
00:33:38.31\00:33:39.65
We don't have to
stay where we are.
00:33:39.68\00:33:41.02
Why is it?
00:33:41.05\00:33:42.38
Why is it though,
the ones that we love,
00:33:42.42\00:33:43.85
maybe somebody get the
ones we say love the most
00:33:43.89\00:33:46.65
can upset us the
most, and make the old man
00:33:46.69\00:33:50.33
come up out of the
grave is supposed to die,
00:33:50.36\00:33:51.96
you know a new man come up,
00:33:51.99\00:33:53.33
come and say
things that you really
00:33:53.36\00:33:54.70
should not be
saying or even thinking.
00:33:54.73\00:33:56.80
But why is it
that the loved ones,
00:33:56.83\00:33:58.17
one we're
supposed to love more why?
00:33:58.20\00:34:00.37
Any thoughts on that,
why is that they can do it
00:34:00.40\00:34:02.57
and other people can
say and do the same thing
00:34:02.60\00:34:04.47
and we kind of smile and pat
him on the back and we go on.
00:34:04.51\00:34:07.68
Well, I don't know
what Greg would say.
00:34:07.71\00:34:09.18
But I know for me, I
think whoever you love the most,
00:34:09.21\00:34:11.78
you let into your heart.
00:34:11.81\00:34:13.52
You know, when you
actually love someone,
00:34:13.55\00:34:15.35
you let your guard down
00:34:15.38\00:34:17.65
and you allow
them access to the most
00:34:17.69\00:34:20.52
intimate places of your heart,
00:34:20.56\00:34:22.59
as far as you're
the most vulnerable.
00:34:22.62\00:34:25.66
And so, when you let that
down, it's easier to be hurt.
00:34:25.69\00:34:30.57
Because you let them
in, you're open to that,
00:34:30.60\00:34:33.23
I think so anyway,
00:34:33.27\00:34:34.64
I know one thing with
Greg and I, this happened
00:34:34.67\00:34:38.44
I think in the first
year of our marriage...
00:34:38.47\00:34:40.58
Oh, oh, be careful now.
00:34:40.61\00:34:42.68
You're getting nervous, Greg.
00:34:42.71\00:34:44.31
Are you getting nervous? No, no.
00:34:44.35\00:34:46.65
I think and this was, this
was transformational for me
00:34:46.68\00:34:51.95
is that, I think
this is a bad thing,
00:34:51.99\00:34:55.92
but I have more of
a sensitive spirit.
00:34:55.96\00:34:57.93
It can be a good thing if
you're sensitive toward God,
00:34:57.96\00:35:00.13
but if it's easily
wounded that can be a bad thing.
00:35:00.16\00:35:02.60
And that's something God
wants to work in my heart with
00:35:02.63\00:35:05.60
and so, sometimes
Greg would say something,
00:35:05.63\00:35:09.50
and he never meant anything
00:35:09.54\00:35:11.11
but I would take it and
think he meant it against me.
00:35:11.14\00:35:15.14
Now, he didn't mean it that way,
00:35:15.18\00:35:17.18
and in the first
year of our marriage,
00:35:17.21\00:35:18.91
when we, when I understood,
00:35:18.95\00:35:21.12
everything that
comes out of his mouth
00:35:21.15\00:35:23.89
is never intended to hurt me
00:35:23.92\00:35:25.85
in our almost 14
years of marriage,
00:35:25.89\00:35:27.72
he has never
purposely done anything to hurt.
00:35:27.76\00:35:29.89
That's beautiful.
00:35:29.92\00:35:31.26
Then if something comes out,
00:35:31.29\00:35:32.96
and I think where
did that come from?
00:35:32.99\00:35:35.36
Oh, it wasn't intentional.
00:35:35.40\00:35:37.47
I just know that automatic
and instantly that takes,
00:35:37.50\00:35:40.94
it's like a sap, it
takes any pain away,
00:35:40.97\00:35:43.14
and I, so I can say,
"Hey, did you mean it that way?"
00:35:43.17\00:35:45.81
"Oh, no, of course I didn't."
00:35:45.84\00:35:47.74
Okay.
00:35:47.78\00:35:49.11
You can learn to
grow in that trust
00:35:49.14\00:35:50.58
and so for me that
was transformational.
00:35:50.61\00:35:52.75
Praise the Lord.
That's beautiful.
00:35:52.78\00:35:54.12
That's the communication
I believe actually,
00:35:54.15\00:35:55.88
now we're talking
about, you got to communicate
00:35:55.92\00:35:57.85
between each other about things,
00:35:57.89\00:35:59.22
"Hey, did you mean to hurt me?"
00:35:59.25\00:36:00.59
"Oh, no, I didn't
mean that at all."
00:36:00.62\00:36:01.96
I also think
too, that the devil...
00:36:01.99\00:36:03.59
You're talking about the home.
00:36:03.63\00:36:05.86
The devil realizes
that a Christian home
00:36:05.89\00:36:07.43
is a powerful witness.
00:36:07.46\00:36:08.80
Oh, absolutely.
00:36:08.83\00:36:10.17
So Satan will come in
so the wife that I love,
00:36:10.20\00:36:12.73
you know, I've
promised my life to her,
00:36:12.77\00:36:14.87
you're talking about
those that are closest,
00:36:14.90\00:36:16.24
maybe our
children, we don't have kids,
00:36:16.27\00:36:17.61
but maybe my mom, dad, sister.
00:36:17.64\00:36:19.54
Those that we love the most
00:36:19.57\00:36:21.11
sometimes, sometimes there's
issues like you're saying,
00:36:21.14\00:36:22.81
I think Satan wants to
come in, and he realizes that.
00:36:22.84\00:36:26.01
And so he tries to
come and destroy that cause.
00:36:26.05\00:36:28.28
He knows what buttons people,
00:36:28.32\00:36:30.49
you know, people
know what buttons to push,
00:36:30.52\00:36:31.85
and the devil does too.
00:36:31.89\00:36:33.22
So I think you ask why?
00:36:33.25\00:36:34.59
Well, the Satan is there
00:36:34.62\00:36:35.96
because if he can make
a mockery of the family,
00:36:35.99\00:36:37.33
he's making a mockery
00:36:37.36\00:36:38.69
of a whole lot
of other things too.
00:36:38.73\00:36:40.06
Because, it was, I know
this is some your questions here
00:36:40.10\00:36:41.43
but it was instituted
in the Garden of Eden.
00:36:41.46\00:36:42.80
That's right.
00:36:42.83\00:36:44.17
You know, the
family Adam and Eve.
00:36:44.20\00:36:45.53
And so it's a God ordained union
00:36:45.57\00:36:47.90
and the family and the home.
00:36:47.94\00:36:49.27
One of the things
he's talking about here
00:36:49.30\00:36:50.64
most of you
probably at least in the home
00:36:50.67\00:36:52.17
were you raised and
people that love Jesus...
00:36:52.21\00:36:53.58
True.
00:36:53.61\00:36:54.94
Is that, my mother
even until she passed away.
00:36:54.98\00:36:58.61
She would come some time
00:36:58.65\00:36:59.98
and, and of course
she came the church
00:37:00.02\00:37:01.35
the last ten years
or so 12 years of life.
00:37:01.38\00:37:03.72
So being, being a
son and her pastor,
00:37:03.75\00:37:07.29
you know, sometimes
she come out and says,
00:37:07.32\00:37:08.76
"Well, honey, why did...
00:37:08.79\00:37:10.13
why did such and such happen?"
00:37:10.16\00:37:11.49
I will say, "Mom,
and that's something
00:37:11.53\00:37:12.86
I really can't talk about,
00:37:12.89\00:37:14.23
somebody come
privately and said something,
00:37:14.26\00:37:15.60
I can't really talk about."
00:37:15.63\00:37:16.97
And there are
times she comes, she say,
00:37:17.00\00:37:18.33
"Well, I...
00:37:18.37\00:37:19.70
You want momma's advice."
00:37:19.73\00:37:22.17
And I say, "Yes, yes I do."
00:37:22.20\00:37:25.21
You know why?
00:37:25.24\00:37:26.57
Because she never did
anything willfully to hurt me.
00:37:26.61\00:37:30.81
I knew I may not
be able to agree.
00:37:30.85\00:37:33.35
I may not be able to
00:37:33.38\00:37:35.72
say what she maybe wants me
to or maybe a certain situation.
00:37:35.75\00:37:39.25
But I knew
everything that she did,
00:37:39.29\00:37:41.72
she had my best
interest at heart.
00:37:41.76\00:37:43.39
That's excellent.
00:37:43.43\00:37:44.79
And so, again, couldn't
always do what she thought
00:37:44.83\00:37:47.26
but I knew and
other people they say,
00:37:47.30\00:37:49.40
"Well, you know so
and so said somebody."
00:37:49.43\00:37:52.03
Lord, help me.
00:37:52.07\00:37:53.40
I simply said, "Well, momma,
00:37:53.44\00:37:54.77
when is last time they had
my best interest at heart."
00:37:54.80\00:37:57.47
Pray for me.
00:37:57.51\00:37:58.84
You see, you had to look
00:37:58.87\00:38:00.21
somebody always
saying something,
00:38:00.24\00:38:01.58
did they had your
best interests at heart,
00:38:01.61\00:38:02.94
when they do, I'm gonna listen.
00:38:02.98\00:38:04.31
Sure.
00:38:04.35\00:38:05.68
And it's important to
know that trust like that
00:38:05.71\00:38:07.75
doesn't just
automatically occur.
00:38:07.78\00:38:10.65
You have to earn
it. You have to earn it.
00:38:10.69\00:38:13.15
And you mentioned we
don't know till we say I do.
00:38:13.19\00:38:16.16
That's when you need to really
00:38:16.19\00:38:18.29
start working on
earning those brownie points.
00:38:18.33\00:38:21.93
And what Greg was
saying is so true,
00:38:21.96\00:38:24.27
because the enemy is out
to kill, steal, and destroy.
00:38:24.30\00:38:27.27
If he can destroy the marriage,
they can destroy your union.
00:38:27.30\00:38:32.21
He's got the children
00:38:32.24\00:38:34.58
and eventually, the influence
on society, it goes so far,
00:38:34.61\00:38:40.22
so I mean the
family unit has been
00:38:40.25\00:38:43.15
and always will be big
attack of the evil sprit.
00:38:43.18\00:38:49.42
You know, one of the things
that marriage is designed to do
00:38:49.46\00:38:51.93
is to root out
selfishness in our life,
00:38:51.96\00:38:54.33
because we're all so selfish
and you can't stay married.
00:38:54.36\00:38:58.83
And I'll tell you
something, for two years,
00:38:58.87\00:39:00.84
we've been going at it over her,
00:39:00.87\00:39:02.27
and I say going at
cause that's it could be.
00:39:02.30\00:39:03.64
All right, bring it on. Come on.
00:39:03.67\00:39:05.17
She was on one side
and I was on another.
00:39:05.21\00:39:07.18
We discussed this
time and time again.
00:39:07.21\00:39:12.28
We couldn't see
eye to eye, true?
00:39:12.31\00:39:14.92
Every time we tried to.
00:39:14.95\00:39:16.45
Every time we
just hit this wall.
00:39:16.48\00:39:18.02
I ain't seeing that or I
don't want you to see it.
00:39:18.05\00:39:21.86
And independently
both praying about it,
00:39:21.89\00:39:25.93
we said, because she
was in Panama, I was here.
00:39:25.96\00:39:28.53
I said, "You know, what Lord,
if she comes back with again."
00:39:28.56\00:39:33.03
I'm gonna yield.
00:39:33.07\00:39:34.40
I'm gonna let her
have it. I'm gonna yield.
00:39:34.44\00:39:36.20
And at the same time in Panama,
00:39:36.24\00:39:38.67
she said, if I
bring it to him again
00:39:38.71\00:39:42.01
and he still don't want it,
00:39:42.04\00:39:43.55
I'm gonna yield.
00:39:43.58\00:39:44.91
So we came home, we
looked at each other,
00:39:44.95\00:39:46.38
I said, "You know what,"
00:39:46.41\00:39:47.75
and I spoke first, and I said,
00:39:47.78\00:39:49.15
you know, if you
really want it, okay?
00:39:49.18\00:39:51.02
She said, "You know, I
was ready to surrender."
00:39:51.05\00:39:52.62
I said, "Okay, I
changed my mind."
00:39:52.65\00:39:56.42
But I spoke first, I let it out,
00:39:56.46\00:39:58.26
I said, okay, you get in.
00:39:58.29\00:39:59.63
And for at least two years,
00:39:59.66\00:40:01.00
we've been working
on this thing, but--
00:40:01.03\00:40:02.66
and I told her, I
said you know what,
00:40:02.70\00:40:04.03
"I feel better
now, I just feel."
00:40:04.07\00:40:05.43
Amen. Yes.
00:40:05.47\00:40:06.80
You know, it
wasn't like constant,
00:40:06.84\00:40:08.17
but it's there, you know.
00:40:08.20\00:40:09.54
It's there, I was like, we're
going to deal with this again.
00:40:09.57\00:40:11.57
That was a long time,
00:40:11.61\00:40:13.21
two years was
really, a long time.
00:40:13.24\00:40:15.04
But often on,
00:40:15.08\00:40:16.41
it wasn't like everyday
we're dealing with same.
00:40:16.44\00:40:17.78
But every time that
subject would come up--
00:40:17.81\00:40:19.18
Maybe I should read
out Paul's favorite.
00:40:19.21\00:40:21.32
Be careful of this.
00:40:21.35\00:40:23.89
What happened is
that, we were burying it.
00:40:23.92\00:40:27.42
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
00:40:27.46\00:40:29.02
You know, and now
every time it come up,
00:40:29.06\00:40:31.93
we will bury it.
00:40:31.96\00:40:34.10
We can't deal with this,
00:40:34.13\00:40:35.46
just leave it
and don't touch it,
00:40:35.50\00:40:37.60
but it was just
working itself on,
00:40:37.63\00:40:41.77
and it was so hard to
get it every time we came up.
00:40:41.80\00:40:46.01
It's like, "Oh, no,
we can't deal with it."
00:40:46.04\00:40:48.34
It just brings so
much of the happiness,
00:40:48.38\00:40:51.95
but yes, when you do...
00:40:51.98\00:40:54.78
God said, that's
what he says, He is love.
00:40:54.82\00:40:57.65
Amen.
00:40:57.69\00:40:59.02
You know it's not
that He brings you love.
00:40:59.05\00:41:00.79
And if God is
love, when you have God,
00:41:00.82\00:41:03.89
and when you bring
your situations to God.
00:41:03.93\00:41:08.23
"God please help
me to understand this,
00:41:08.26\00:41:10.93
help me to deal with this,
and you know, in a godly way,
00:41:10.97\00:41:14.84
he is going to, and then
00:41:14.87\00:41:17.37
that peace and that
joy comes through in,
00:41:17.41\00:41:23.61
and the assurance
00:41:23.65\00:41:25.28
that he is going to
help you go through it.
00:41:25.31\00:41:29.15
And be peace, and no
longer be a situation.
00:41:29.18\00:41:34.56
And it was just
amazing, because we both did,
00:41:34.59\00:41:37.96
actually I had given
it up when I said, "Okay,
00:41:37.99\00:41:42.03
this is not going to
be between us any more."
00:41:42.06\00:41:45.87
Amen. If that's
the way he wants it.
00:41:45.90\00:41:47.97
That's the way
we're going to do it,
00:41:48.00\00:41:49.54
and I just
thank you to the Lord.
00:41:49.57\00:41:51.37
So at the same time, he had...
00:41:51.41\00:41:53.41
That may be a big
issue, I don't know,
00:41:53.44\00:41:55.18
so let's not go with
that how big issue might be.
00:41:55.21\00:41:57.11
Yeah.
00:41:57.15\00:41:58.48
It's a long, it's a long story,
00:41:58.51\00:41:59.85
so we don't want to
go into that, but...
00:41:59.88\00:42:01.22
But I like that,
00:42:01.25\00:42:02.58
because the husband
as he is the house band,
00:42:02.62\00:42:05.79
he's the priest
in the household.
00:42:05.82\00:42:07.92
And there's many times,
00:42:07.96\00:42:09.29
because I think
probably every one of us here,
00:42:09.32\00:42:11.83
as women we're
pretty strong minded,
00:42:11.86\00:42:14.23
you know, we have our opinions,
we study, you know, we--
00:42:14.26\00:42:19.83
you know, it comes
to a point many times
00:42:19.87\00:42:22.60
when we don't agree,
that we have to trust.
00:42:22.64\00:42:26.47
And if he's built
that trust, Pastor Kenny,
00:42:26.51\00:42:29.31
if I trust him, and
his connection with God.
00:42:29.34\00:42:31.25
You know Chris, forgive
me, but you are so right.
00:42:31.28\00:42:33.18
You got to,
sometimes you just got to trust
00:42:33.21\00:42:34.62
the other person's judgment.
00:42:34.65\00:42:35.98
Yes. I can't see it.
00:42:36.02\00:42:37.35
It doesn't make sense
to me, but I love her.
00:42:37.39\00:42:42.29
It's not going to kill me. No.
00:42:42.32\00:42:44.36
You know, it's not just,
and the house will be happier.
00:42:44.39\00:42:47.60
We got peace.
00:42:47.63\00:42:48.96
That's true, you
mentioned trust while ago,
00:42:49.00\00:42:50.33
the important factor is,
is if you're living a life
00:42:50.37\00:42:52.63
and you've been
consistent back and forth,
00:42:52.67\00:42:54.94
we've been consistent.
00:42:54.97\00:42:56.30
In other words, whatever hits,
I can almost say with a surety,
00:42:56.34\00:43:00.78
this is the way
she's going to react.
00:43:00.81\00:43:02.14
Exactly. See, I need that.
00:43:02.18\00:43:03.58
I want that, and I
want to be that way,
00:43:03.61\00:43:05.41
no matter who hits, no
matter what bang goes on.
00:43:05.45\00:43:08.12
She can come up,
and say, you know what,
00:43:08.15\00:43:09.48
he didn't do
that, he didn't say that
00:43:09.52\00:43:10.99
because that's not consistent.
00:43:11.02\00:43:13.15
Yeah, that's why
Jill's point is so important,
00:43:13.19\00:43:15.12
he's never said
anything to hurt me before.
00:43:15.16\00:43:17.13
So maybe I'm a little
touchy on that subject.
00:43:17.16\00:43:18.99
Exactly. That's not his M.O.
00:43:19.03\00:43:20.90
He doesn't say
things to hurt me.
00:43:20.93\00:43:22.26
So maybe I need to just
heal here, because of the God,
00:43:22.30\00:43:24.87
I need to learn
and grow and trust him.
00:43:24.90\00:43:26.37
I think I'm
growing, I think I'm going.
00:43:26.40\00:43:28.77
Praise God, I'm growing
but I'll tell you loose,
00:43:28.80\00:43:31.41
it's here's story, honey,
00:43:31.44\00:43:32.77
I'm growing as
if I'm not growing.
00:43:32.81\00:43:34.38
We have two dogs,
00:43:35.54\00:43:39.35
and she's wanting another
puppy from my sister Tammy's...
00:43:39.38\00:43:42.72
Yes.
00:43:42.75\00:43:44.09
Dealing with the
dog, puppy thing.
00:43:44.12\00:43:45.69
And she goes after, sees
a little puppies come home.
00:43:45.72\00:43:48.09
"Oh, honey, I
want another puppy."
00:43:48.12\00:43:49.89
I say, "Which one you're going
to get rid of we got here?"
00:43:49.92\00:43:52.93
And my face doesn't
look so good you know.
00:43:52.96\00:43:54.86
So you know, and then
she'll come back and say,
00:43:54.90\00:43:56.33
"All those puppies are so
squishy, you want to see."
00:43:56.36\00:43:58.03
I say, "Honey, we really,
00:43:58.07\00:43:59.40
we don't need any more puppies."
00:43:59.43\00:44:00.77
"Well, what do you think,
I could have one more puppy,?
00:44:00.80\00:44:02.17
"No, honey, let's
don't get any more things,
00:44:02.20\00:44:03.54
that I have to look
after, and try to take care of
00:44:03.57\00:44:05.44
and that we're
always busy, we're--
00:44:05.47\00:44:07.98
and I'll tell you what, I
got to feel so bad about it.
00:44:08.01\00:44:10.75
I don't want another
dog. Woo, Lord have mercy.
00:44:10.78\00:44:13.65
I don't want another dog,
00:44:13.68\00:44:15.18
but I've seen
that she really did.
00:44:15.22\00:44:18.09
And so finally I
on my own, I'm going--
00:44:18.12\00:44:20.66
not by patching on the back,
00:44:20.69\00:44:22.02
but I' m saying these
changes can come about.
00:44:22.06\00:44:23.73
When we look at our spouse
00:44:23.76\00:44:25.29
and see
something they really want,
00:44:25.33\00:44:26.70
that really wouldn't be
harmful, it wouldn't be bad,
00:44:26.73\00:44:28.56
it's just a matter of-
00:44:28.60\00:44:29.93
I really didn't want
another squealy barky.
00:44:29.96\00:44:33.40
Glory, I'm gonna stand on that.
00:44:33.44\00:44:35.20
Yeah, I call my
sister, she didn't know it.
00:44:35.24\00:44:37.34
So that is...
00:44:37.37\00:44:38.71
She's got a birthday coming up,
00:44:38.74\00:44:40.08
and I said, I want that puppy
that she's been looking at,
00:44:40.11\00:44:42.01
that she has a collar
around that she's claimed,
00:44:42.04\00:44:44.45
and she said,
"Tammy, don't sell this now,
00:44:44.48\00:44:46.35
I might get this one.
00:44:46.38\00:44:47.72
So tell my sister told
me," so I said, I want that one.
00:44:47.75\00:44:50.02
The one that
she's kind of claimed,
00:44:50.05\00:44:51.82
without saying anymore about it,
00:44:51.85\00:44:53.19
without bugging about it.
00:44:53.22\00:44:55.06
Said we want that puppy.
00:44:55.09\00:44:56.42
So I told her, and she
just squeal with delight,
00:44:56.46\00:44:57.93
"Oh, I'm so happy, happy--"
00:44:57.96\00:44:59.66
So that is hope for us.
00:44:59.69\00:45:03.00
Pray for me, I'm growing.
00:45:03.03\00:45:05.00
No, no puppies-- No puppies--
00:45:05.03\00:45:07.97
She's worth a puppy.
00:45:08.00\00:45:09.60
She's worth a puppy, yeah,
but I'm not going to take care.
00:45:09.64\00:45:11.87
See, we have seven cats,
we have seven cats, and...
00:45:11.91\00:45:17.51
They're not puppies.
00:45:17.55\00:45:18.88
This is part of the plan,
just make out a happy home.
00:45:18.91\00:45:20.32
I'm telling you, this
is making a happy home.
00:45:20.35\00:45:21.95
Having said that,
00:45:21.98\00:45:23.39
when you yield
and accord returns,
00:45:23.42\00:45:26.65
you feel down right good.
00:45:26.69\00:45:30.06
Yes. Yes.
00:45:30.09\00:45:32.46
You know, once I
made that little decision,
00:45:32.49\00:45:34.63
and began to enter into,
00:45:34.66\00:45:37.10
it's kind of exciting, you know,
00:45:37.13\00:45:38.83
you feel, you feel good
'cause there's nothing between.
00:45:38.87\00:45:42.14
You actually
feel good in the soul.
00:45:42.17\00:45:44.44
I think you feel
good, because you're doing
00:45:44.47\00:45:46.27
what Christ
would have you to do.
00:45:46.31\00:45:47.64
Agreed, yes.
00:45:47.68\00:45:49.01
As a husband, as a
wife, and the family.
00:45:49.04\00:45:52.55
She wanted, she
wanted and that bothered me,
00:45:52.58\00:45:55.18
every time I said,
"No honey we don't,"
00:45:55.22\00:45:56.69
I didn't there's like,
"No, we're not going to have...
00:45:56.72\00:45:58.82
No honey, we don't
need it, it's just not good,
00:45:58.85\00:46:00.26
we got two, and I
kept feeling so bad.
00:46:00.29\00:46:04.39
Were you praying for me?
00:46:04.43\00:46:05.76
I was shocked, no I...
00:46:05.79\00:46:07.13
Were you praying for
me that I change mind?
00:46:07.16\00:46:08.50
I don't, I don't--
00:46:08.53\00:46:09.86
It worked if you did.
00:46:09.90\00:46:11.23
I was so
shocked, I couldn't help,
00:46:11.27\00:46:12.60
I started hot dialing
everybody, I need the puppy.
00:46:12.63\00:46:14.67
But mama's happy.
00:46:16.67\00:46:18.01
But let me share,
00:46:18.04\00:46:19.44
let me share another quote,
because we're trying to learn
00:46:19.47\00:46:23.21
how to deal with
these situations,
00:46:23.24\00:46:25.41
how to deal with dissension,
00:46:25.45\00:46:26.98
and boy what an
example you two are.
00:46:27.02\00:46:29.42
I knew coming into this.
00:46:29.45\00:46:30.79
I thought, I
wonder if Jill and Greg's
00:46:30.82\00:46:32.22
ever had any trouble.
00:46:32.25\00:46:34.29
It's okay. It's okay.
00:46:34.32\00:46:35.66
Well, we don't
agree on everything.
00:46:35.69\00:46:37.46
But that's how you handle those
disagreements, that's the key.
00:46:37.49\00:46:39.53
I'm sorry, I interrupted you.
No, you are good, that's fine.
00:46:39.56\00:46:41.96
But Jill's dad before, her
dad before we got married said,
00:46:42.00\00:46:44.63
"Make sure future son-in-law
00:46:44.67\00:46:47.07
that you know how
to deal with conflict,
00:46:47.10\00:46:49.30
because it's inevitable."
00:46:49.34\00:46:51.14
You'll face
conflict and we don't,
00:46:51.17\00:46:53.04
we don't see eye
to eye on everything,
00:46:53.07\00:46:54.54
it's just how you
handle that, that's the key.
00:46:54.58\00:46:56.85
So no, we're
not a perfect couple
00:46:56.88\00:46:58.98
by any means.
00:46:59.01\00:47:00.35
If I can say, I
think, forgiveness is key.
00:47:00.38\00:47:03.49
You know, what just
Pastor C.A. was talking about,
00:47:03.52\00:47:05.35
getting outside of herself
00:47:05.39\00:47:06.72
and being willing to give in
for someone else, and I think,
00:47:06.76\00:47:09.89
'cause that's the example
of that's having Jesus' heart
00:47:09.92\00:47:12.96
and Jesus' spirit.
00:47:12.99\00:47:14.33
I remember just
real short story here...
00:47:14.36\00:47:17.27
This was our first
year of marriage too.
00:47:17.30\00:47:18.77
Our first year seems to be cud.
00:47:18.80\00:47:21.04
It's important. It's
important. It is so important.
00:47:21.07\00:47:23.57
As if you're launching the ship.
00:47:23.61\00:47:25.37
That is. That's a critical time.
00:47:25.41\00:47:27.01
I remember we had one of those,
00:47:27.04\00:47:28.64
kind of like
Pastor C.A. and Irma,
00:47:28.68\00:47:30.71
you had, where we
did not see eye to eye,
00:47:30.75\00:47:33.08
and I just remember thinking
I was right, and he was not.
00:47:33.11\00:47:36.79
And I remember
distinctly thinking that,
00:47:36.82\00:47:38.52
and the Lord said,
"Jill, you should apologize,"
00:47:38.55\00:47:41.26
and I said "No,"
because it's not my fault,
00:47:41.29\00:47:44.46
that is rebellion, right?
00:47:44.49\00:47:46.59
Did you ever say it out
loud? Did you pull him out?
00:47:46.63\00:47:48.50
No, this is me
to God, okay? Okay.
00:47:48.53\00:47:50.13
I'm not going to apologize,
00:47:50.17\00:47:51.50
so I just kind of
did the woman thing,
00:47:51.53\00:47:52.97
you know, the
little cold shoulder
00:47:53.00\00:47:54.50
which is not daintily.
00:47:54.54\00:47:56.50
Go on, you're right.
00:47:56.54\00:47:57.87
And so then Greg
came to me and he said,
00:47:57.91\00:47:59.91
"Jilly, let's pray about it."
00:47:59.94\00:48:01.88
And I thought, I
don't want to pray,
00:48:01.91\00:48:03.24
because God's gonna show
me, I'm wrong and you know,
00:48:03.28\00:48:05.68
I was just
volleying in my own junk.
00:48:05.71\00:48:08.88
And so he prayed
first, and I'll never forget.
00:48:08.92\00:48:11.65
He said, "God forgive me
00:48:11.69\00:48:13.92
for not being the husband
to Jill that I should be."
00:48:13.96\00:48:18.23
Now he did not say
that to manipulate me.
00:48:18.26\00:48:20.36
It was his heart's
cry to God. That's right.
00:48:20.40\00:48:23.43
But as soon as he said
that, I thought, "Okay, God,
00:48:23.47\00:48:26.17
God worked in my heart
00:48:26.20\00:48:27.54
to soften that hardness inside."
00:48:27.57\00:48:30.77
And then I said, "Okay,
God, I'm not even willing,
00:48:30.81\00:48:32.97
but make me willing
to ask for forgiveness,
00:48:33.01\00:48:35.18
and to forgive, and
that's what God wants to do.
00:48:35.21\00:48:37.35
Amen. Awesome. Yeah.
00:48:37.38\00:48:38.91
Beautiful example of a
family that has Christ says,
00:48:38.95\00:48:42.78
its sinner how
different they can be
00:48:42.82\00:48:46.12
than most of the
families in this world.
00:48:46.15\00:48:48.16
A man at church
one time told that...
00:48:48.19\00:48:50.19
or actually, his
wife did a story.
00:48:50.23\00:48:54.30
They're having the issues
00:48:54.33\00:48:56.10
and they want to
get them worked out,
00:48:56.13\00:48:57.47
both of them
Christian, you know,
00:48:57.50\00:48:58.83
both of them love Jesus,
but just issue and it impasses,
00:48:58.87\00:49:00.54
seem like a good example,
00:49:00.57\00:49:01.90
you're just not going
to get through this thing.
00:49:01.94\00:49:03.74
She said, one time she's
walking through the house,
00:49:03.77\00:49:05.61
and he didn't
know she's even home.
00:49:05.64\00:49:07.81
He was in the
study, in the bedroom.
00:49:07.84\00:49:10.65
He was kneeling
down, and he was praying,
00:49:10.68\00:49:13.65
there's nobody home,
so he's praying out loud.
00:49:13.68\00:49:16.42
And he was praying
to God, would give him
00:49:16.45\00:49:18.12
that discernment,
00:49:18.15\00:49:19.49
that wisdom of how to
handle this situation,
00:49:19.52\00:49:22.22
because he loved his wife,
he wanted the marriage to work.
00:49:22.26\00:49:26.03
He was willing to
make necessary changes,
00:49:26.06\00:49:29.46
he wanted to be what
God wanted him to be.
00:49:29.50\00:49:33.13
That just--
00:49:33.17\00:49:34.50
he did know she was listening.
00:49:34.54\00:49:35.87
So she heard everything.
00:49:35.90\00:49:37.24
She heard
everything that he said.
00:49:37.27\00:49:38.61
It broke her heart,
00:49:38.64\00:49:40.31
and the issue was
settled from that moment on,
00:49:40.34\00:49:42.24
it's always been settled.
00:49:42.28\00:49:43.61
I thought how
interesting that is,
00:49:43.65\00:49:45.55
when a real heart is opened up,
we don't know anyone is around,
00:49:45.58\00:49:48.22
and you're talking to
the Lord about these issues
00:49:48.25\00:49:51.12
and somebody overhears.
00:49:51.15\00:49:52.59
It will change your
heart, it will change your life.
00:49:52.62\00:49:54.79
Well, by her
hearing that prayer,
00:49:54.82\00:49:56.83
that built trust in their heart.
00:49:56.86\00:50:00.06
Didn't just break it,
00:50:00.10\00:50:01.43
but it builds trust
that she can trust him.
00:50:01.46\00:50:04.07
Women draw their
strength from their husband.
00:50:04.10\00:50:06.94
That's right. Absolutely.
00:50:06.97\00:50:08.30
We do. Oh, yeah.
00:50:08.34\00:50:09.67
We are, you know, I
know it's hard for us
00:50:09.70\00:50:11.61
to accept some time, but
we are the weaker vessel.
00:50:11.64\00:50:14.61
And that's just
how God set it up,
00:50:14.64\00:50:16.61
and we draw our strength.
00:50:16.64\00:50:17.98
So when we're separated,
00:50:18.01\00:50:19.85
when there's
dissension in the home,
00:50:19.88\00:50:22.58
then we lose our strength
00:50:22.62\00:50:24.35
and we don't have the strength
to deal with the children,
00:50:24.39\00:50:28.22
to deal with other
friends, the church, da-da-da.
00:50:28.26\00:50:30.76
It goes on and on.
It just multiplies.
00:50:30.79\00:50:32.66
But when you're
making a happy home,
00:50:32.69\00:50:34.43
we may not get
too far, but we know,
00:50:34.46\00:50:36.10
we'll come back and
do this thing again,
00:50:36.13\00:50:37.93
because there are so many homes,
00:50:37.97\00:50:41.40
maybe millions out there,
00:50:41.44\00:50:42.90
that are going
through real issues.
00:50:42.94\00:50:44.71
Some are making
decision right now.
00:50:44.74\00:50:46.11
But they're
going to get divorced,
00:50:46.14\00:50:47.54
they're just going
to go their own way,
00:50:47.58\00:50:48.91
and the kids go here,
and their mom goes there,
00:50:48.94\00:50:50.58
it's a mess.
00:50:50.61\00:50:51.95
If they would just listen
to what God's word has to say,
00:50:51.98\00:50:55.32
and drink it in.
00:50:55.35\00:50:56.69
I tried to drink it in,
because and part of the lesson
00:50:56.72\00:50:58.59
had to do with
Adam, had to do with Eve.
00:50:58.62\00:51:01.22
And the importance
of Eve's life upon Adam.
00:51:01.26\00:51:05.36
Your life upon mine
as husband and wife.
00:51:05.39\00:51:08.10
It says that, she's
supposed to encourage me.
00:51:08.13\00:51:11.10
So that means sometime
we can maybe get discourage,
00:51:11.13\00:51:12.90
we may not admit
it, because we're men,
00:51:12.93\00:51:14.27
we don't get
discouraged, we don't get down,
00:51:14.30\00:51:15.64
but they encourage us.
00:51:15.67\00:51:17.01
They will help me, they help
us and I wrote down something,
00:51:17.04\00:51:20.81
they said, "They're to help,
00:51:20.84\00:51:22.44
women are to
soften a man's character."
00:51:22.48\00:51:26.61
We know the Holy Spirit does it,
00:51:26.65\00:51:27.98
but the way she conducts herself
00:51:28.02\00:51:29.48
will soften my
character, and give me--
00:51:29.52\00:51:34.52
well, book Adventist Home
says, "Give me completion."
00:51:34.56\00:51:37.23
I need the love
of a wife or a woman
00:51:37.26\00:51:40.16
to help me on my
rougher edges for my character.
00:51:40.20\00:51:44.03
We know the
Holy Spirit up there.
00:51:44.07\00:51:45.40
This is what the woman can
do and I am a witness to that,
00:51:45.43\00:51:49.24
because sometime
I do some program
00:51:49.27\00:51:51.34
sometime that people say,
00:51:51.37\00:51:52.71
"Well, you look
like you're just so...
00:51:52.74\00:51:56.31
I feel like the
urgency of the hour
00:51:56.34\00:51:58.78
that Jesus is coming
and get this thing out
00:51:58.81\00:52:00.58
and sometime maybe just go...
00:52:00.62\00:52:02.28
and the lady, I said sometimes,
she wrote a letter, she said,
00:52:02.32\00:52:05.19
"Well, thank God for your wife."
00:52:05.22\00:52:06.99
And I read, oh, good
00:52:07.02\00:52:08.36
that's why I
thank God for my wife.
00:52:08.39\00:52:09.99
They said, "Man, she is so mild,
00:52:10.03\00:52:11.36
and so calm,
when she's on there."
00:52:11.39\00:52:12.73
And praise God, she
can be able to help control
00:52:12.76\00:52:15.20
meltdown that
rough character of yours.
00:52:15.23\00:52:18.73
I said, "Thank you
honey," that's what she does.
00:52:18.77\00:52:20.34
So she makes a little balancing
to bring to completion,
00:52:20.37\00:52:23.41
where I might be little rough.
00:52:23.44\00:52:24.77
She can help calm me down
00:52:24.81\00:52:26.14
and that's what we're
to do with one another.
00:52:26.17\00:52:27.94
You know we've mentioned
the book Adventist Home
00:52:27.98\00:52:30.48
and if you don't have that book,
00:52:30.51\00:52:32.11
I encourage you to
try to get that book.
00:52:32.15\00:52:34.22
There's a compilation
called Happiness Homemade,
00:52:34.25\00:52:36.55
it's a smaller version,
that's an excellent book too.
00:52:36.58\00:52:39.39
In fact we've used that
00:52:39.42\00:52:40.76
when we've done
marriage counseling.
00:52:40.79\00:52:42.62
There's just so
much good information.
00:52:42.66\00:52:44.79
And I think this
next couple of sentences,
00:52:44.83\00:52:46.70
I'm going to read
is from Adventist Home.
00:52:46.73\00:52:48.33
I don't have it on
this particular page,
00:52:48.36\00:52:50.07
but I think it is too, it says
00:52:50.10\00:52:52.17
and we've been
talking about this dissension.
00:52:52.20\00:52:54.50
"Parents should be careful
00:52:54.54\00:52:55.94
not to allow the
spirit of dissension.
00:52:55.97\00:52:58.57
I thought, okay,
what is dissension,
00:52:58.61\00:53:00.04
it's not a word
we use that often,
00:53:00.08\00:53:02.24
it's disagreement.
00:53:02.28\00:53:03.75
It's difference of
opinion of what you hears.
00:53:03.78\00:53:05.61
Oh, boy.
00:53:05.65\00:53:08.22
"It is strife, it's
antagonism, Satan's angels,
00:53:08.25\00:53:12.89
agents to make his
impression on the character,
00:53:12.92\00:53:16.06
that's what it does in
the home when we allow it.
00:53:16.09\00:53:18.86
It says, if parents will strive,
00:53:18.89\00:53:20.56
this is our goal here tonight.
00:53:20.60\00:53:22.66
If parents will
strive for unity in the home
00:53:22.70\00:53:25.90
by inculcating the principles
that govern the life of Christ.
00:53:25.93\00:53:32.87
So we got to go back,
we got some homework to do,
00:53:32.91\00:53:35.28
we got to study the principles
of the life of Christ,
00:53:35.31\00:53:38.51
dissension will be driven out.
00:53:38.55\00:53:41.18
That's right. And
unity and love will abide.
00:53:41.22\00:53:43.82
You see there's
power in the Word of God.
00:53:43.85\00:53:46.05
Yes. There's power in Jesus.
00:53:46.09\00:53:48.02
In fact we're told there's power
00:53:48.06\00:53:50.13
just even in
singing about Jesus.
00:53:50.16\00:53:53.53
And I live that one time,
one of our children was sick,
00:53:53.56\00:53:57.13
had a very high fever,
couldn't calm her down.
00:53:57.17\00:54:00.14
I was up, I was
calling the doctor,
00:54:00.17\00:54:02.67
giving her the lukewarm baths.
00:54:02.70\00:54:04.77
You know, and he would ask me,
00:54:04.81\00:54:06.27
if she's throwing up
anything else, no, no, no,
00:54:06.31\00:54:08.28
but she's screaming,
screaming, screaming.
00:54:08.31\00:54:10.51
About 2 o'clock in
the morning, I remember,
00:54:10.55\00:54:12.45
I read there's power
in the name of Jesus.
00:54:12.48\00:54:14.48
Go ahead.
00:54:14.52\00:54:15.85
I was so tired,
00:54:15.88\00:54:17.32
and I held that baby in my arms.
00:54:17.35\00:54:18.82
Come on now.
00:54:18.85\00:54:20.19
And I began to sing,
00:54:20.22\00:54:21.56
'cause I've been
praying and praying and praying.
00:54:21.59\00:54:23.26
But I began to sing
in the name of Jesus.
00:54:23.29\00:54:26.19
Within 30 seconds,
the fever was gone.
00:54:26.23\00:54:28.93
Wow. That's Jesus.
00:54:28.96\00:54:30.30
Hallelujah. That's God.
00:54:30.33\00:54:31.67
What a testimony.
She stopped crying.
00:54:31.70\00:54:33.03
Go on.
00:54:33.07\00:54:34.40
There's power
in the Word of God.
00:54:34.44\00:54:36.57
There is power in
the name of Jesus.
00:54:36.60\00:54:39.67
And we need to fill our
homes with the music of Christ,
00:54:39.71\00:54:44.08
with the atmosphere of heaven.
00:54:44.11\00:54:46.18
It can be yours.
00:54:46.21\00:54:47.98
But you have to seek for it,
00:54:48.02\00:54:49.98
you have to look for
it as a hidden treasure.
00:54:50.02\00:54:53.05
You know, we'd like to do,
00:54:53.09\00:54:54.42
we got several
minutes left here,
00:54:54.46\00:54:55.82
and if it's not right,
00:54:55.86\00:54:57.19
we'll see how it works out here,
00:54:57.23\00:54:58.56
but I'd like for the same
group to get back together
00:54:58.59\00:55:01.20
and do one or two more--
00:55:01.23\00:55:04.73
parts, because I'm
saying this is because,
00:55:04.77\00:55:06.70
questions like "How are parents
to bring up their children?
00:55:06.74\00:55:10.07
Should children be
educated in the home?
00:55:10.11\00:55:11.94
Why did Adam--
00:55:11.97\00:55:13.31
What did Adam
need to start a home?
00:55:13.34\00:55:14.91
Concerning the home,
00:55:14.94\00:55:16.28
what was God's
plan for Adam and Eve?
00:55:16.31\00:55:17.68
In the Word of God,
what are children to be?
00:55:17.71\00:55:19.88
How should the wife
relate to the husband?
00:55:19.91\00:55:22.32
How should the
husband relate to the wife?
00:55:22.35\00:55:24.59
Why should
children obey their parents?
00:55:24.62\00:55:26.32
What do you, does
God require of children?
00:55:26.35\00:55:28.72
Is there a danger of waiting
too long to correct a child?
00:55:28.76\00:55:31.89
What question will eventually
be given to unfaithful parent?
00:55:31.93\00:55:35.10
We're going to have
to meet in the judgment,
00:55:35.13\00:55:36.46
we're going to have to
meet at certain question,
00:55:36.50\00:55:37.83
the Bible tells us.
00:55:37.87\00:55:39.20
What will the
faithful parents exclaim,
00:55:39.23\00:55:41.10
and what should be the
prayer of every parent?
00:55:41.14\00:55:43.67
I really don't want
to miss those on faith.
00:55:43.71\00:55:45.94
I know there's people out there,
00:55:45.97\00:55:47.31
they say, "You know, I want to
00:55:47.34\00:55:49.14
or maybe all of
those are facing my home
00:55:49.18\00:55:51.25
and the home is
going to be destroyed.
00:55:51.28\00:55:52.71
Absolutely.
00:55:52.75\00:55:54.22
So you see if
something is not done
00:55:54.25\00:55:55.65
and we just need some
one, two, three inside
00:55:55.68\00:55:57.59
maybe just to, you know,
00:55:57.62\00:55:58.95
a little more
education and so on.
00:55:58.99\00:56:00.32
No, there is a trap
and I'm gonna say quickly,
00:56:00.36\00:56:01.69
I know time is running.
00:56:01.72\00:56:03.06
There is a trap that
Christians can fall into
00:56:03.09\00:56:04.59
by thinking that as Christians
00:56:04.63\00:56:05.96
we should not deal
with things, you know.
00:56:05.99\00:56:08.13
Well, this is like a sore
spot, so let's just be Christ,
00:56:08.16\00:56:11.10
so I cannot deal
with them, and that.
00:56:11.13\00:56:12.47
And of course
that's a demonic lie
00:56:12.50\00:56:15.20
that will allow things to fester
00:56:15.24\00:56:16.74
so that when they
when they get dealt with,
00:56:16.77\00:56:18.24
they become World War III.
00:56:18.27\00:56:20.14
And probably with just
a little puff of smoke,
00:56:20.18\00:56:22.41
but now it's a
nuclear explosion.
00:56:22.44\00:56:23.98
Because you're under the
guise of being in prison,
00:56:24.01\00:56:26.38
you're not gonna deal with it.
00:56:26.41\00:56:27.75
And we ran, okay, well,
it's a point of contention.
00:56:27.78\00:56:30.12
So let's just love Jesus
and not deal with that thing.
00:56:30.15\00:56:32.92
But it's still there and
it's growing and growing,
00:56:32.95\00:56:35.29
and when you deal with it.
00:56:35.32\00:56:36.99
Ellen White says this, she says.
00:56:37.03\00:56:38.36
"Christ uttered his
most scathing rebukes
00:56:38.39\00:56:40.50
with tears in his eyes."
00:56:40.53\00:56:41.96
So there was times
00:56:42.00\00:56:43.33
when he had to
get down to business.
00:56:43.37\00:56:44.87
He had to tell
people their sins.
00:56:44.90\00:56:46.90
But He cried while
he was doing, you know.
00:56:46.94\00:56:49.17
So I, if you're
crying and telling me off,
00:56:49.20\00:56:51.74
I can take that.
00:56:51.77\00:56:53.11
You know little 'cause I
know you're feeling my pain,
00:56:53.14\00:56:55.18
you know, I can take that.
00:56:55.21\00:56:56.54
So sometimes, He had to cry,
00:56:56.58\00:56:58.01
but He had to
get that truth told.
00:56:58.05\00:56:59.41
So that healing could begin.
00:56:59.45\00:57:00.78
Amen. Amen.
00:57:00.82\00:57:02.15
We only have 30 seconds left.
00:57:02.18\00:57:04.09
We'll do this,
this is part one then.
00:57:04.12\00:57:05.45
Amen. Part one.
00:57:05.49\00:57:06.82
I promised, I thought wed
get through three questions,
00:57:06.86\00:57:08.96
we got through two.
00:57:08.99\00:57:10.33
We need a quick prayer.
00:57:10.36\00:57:11.69
Pray for those who are making
decisions right now, honey.
00:57:11.73\00:57:13.29
Just a quick real prayer. Amen.
00:57:13.33\00:57:15.13
Most gracious heavenly Father,
00:57:15.16\00:57:17.13
we just pray for that
power, we pray for the urgency
00:57:17.17\00:57:21.37
to come into the hearts
00:57:21.40\00:57:22.74
and the minds of
our viewers to want,
00:57:22.77\00:57:24.64
to be motivated to
get these books out,
00:57:24.67\00:57:27.18
to get the Bible out,
00:57:27.21\00:57:28.54
to order these
books to help them
00:57:28.58\00:57:30.45
to draw closer to You
and to one another, Father,
00:57:30.48\00:57:33.45
this is our
prayer in Jesus name.
00:57:33.48\00:57:35.82
Amen. Amen.
00:57:35.85\00:57:37.39
Praise the Lord.
00:57:37.42\00:57:38.75