As you're well aware,
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we're living in
unprecedented times.
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Join us now for
Today special program.
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Removing pain
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Lord, let my words
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Heal a heart that hurts
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn.
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I'm JD Quinn
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We are so glad you're joining us
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for 3ABN Today.
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We have two of
our favorite people
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here with us.
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We just don't get to
spend enough time with them.
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And let's just go ahead
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and introduce
them right off the bat.
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I hate to keep you over there.
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All the way across
the table in the dark,
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we have Tom and
Alane Waters with us.
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We are so glad
that you're here today.
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You ministry is
Restoration International.
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And if you are a
long-time viewer of 3ABN
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you'll recognize the Waters,
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they've been here many times,
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but they did a program
called Marriage in God's Hands.
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And their
advice is so practical.
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They were so much
fun to watch because...
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And they had a big viewership.
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They role played
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and it just was
relevant and practical.
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And I'll tell you what?
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Their ministry is blossoming
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because so many people need help
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with family situations
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and marriage situations, right?
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Amen. We all need some help.
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Sometimes we just
need a little tweaking.
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Well, it's great to be
here, be back with you folks.
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Yes, it's really
nice to be back again.
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Delighted that you two
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are doing our
interview, so exciting.
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I'm sure there'll be a
lot of unplanned things.
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And we love that spontaneity.
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You know, with
me, there always is.
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And I know with
you there is. Sure.
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You know, I wanted
to read a scripture
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before we began and I asked Tom,
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is there one that's particularly
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a favorite to you?
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And he said, yes, Psalm 32:8.
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Let me read that, Psalm 32:8.
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This is God speaking,
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"I will instruct you
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and teach you in
the way you should go.
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I will guide you with My eye."
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That is a very intimate,
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bonded relationship
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when God can
guide us with His eye
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and what I have learned,
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I often tell people
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that I prayed
for God's discipline
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and they go, you know what?
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If you are
seeking God's discipline,
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He speaks so
softly to correct you.
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That's right.
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If you ignore it, He
gets a little louder.
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If you ignore it even more,
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you know, why
have to go all the way?
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That's right.
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Well, I know you all love music
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and we have today
one of our very own,
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ET Everett,
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and she is
fabulous on the piano.
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You want to talk
about what this song is?
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I will serve thee,
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I think this is a
favorite of all of us.
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Yes.
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Amen. Amen.
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ET has such a
beautiful heart for the Lord.
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And she plays with
sincerity, authenticity.
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Let me put it that way.
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If you're joining
us just a little late,
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our special guests today
are Tom and Alane Waters.
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And, boy, did they
have an interesting history?
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And I just want to
jump into this for people
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who've not seen
you on 3ABN before.
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Tell us a little bit
about your years growing up,
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what career you followed
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and how God brought
you around to the ministry.
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I know you were the co-founder
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and treasurer of
Restoration International.
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Yeah. Well, it's
an exciting story.
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And, it's not an easy
story to put into, you know,
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a couple of minutes,
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but It's a
life-changing story for sure.
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I was raised on a farm,
hardworking out in the country.
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I loved it, bailed a lot of hay,
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and that was great exercise.
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And met my lovely
wife at Hinsdale Hospital.
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That's right. I
grew up in suburbia.
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My father was an
Adventist pastor,
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and so we moved quite a bit
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and he was a
denomination employed
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for a number of years,
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but I had a
great strong foundation
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in a Christian home
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and in Christian education,
which I'm very grateful for.
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And as a little girl, I
always wanted to be a nurse,
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a missionary nurse.
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So that was my sight
and I never let that go.
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And I took nursing and
ended up at Hinsdale Hospital
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and met this
wonderful guy there.
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And it's been
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an exciting
adventure since then.
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Amen. Yeah.
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I was raised in an
Adventist home as well,
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very thankful for that,
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loving parents but we
went into our careers.
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I was in
radiology, she was in nursing
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and then God began to open
our eyes as children came along
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and we were very
active in our church,
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1300 member church
there at Hinsdale Hospital.
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And, you know,
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I was Personal
Ministries director.
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We were, you know,
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20% of the church or
less does, you know...
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Hundred percent of the work
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Hundred percent of the
work and 80% of the church
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or more is just
happy to let you do it.
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So we were just flat out
busy. We were in the 20%.
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And our children
came along and, you know,
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God began to
open our hearts that
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I will instruct you
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and teach you in the
way that you should go.
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We started, we
had this discontent
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and I now recognize that
God put that in our hearts.
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We had this,
something's not right here.
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Something is missing.
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We were doing
everything for everybody.
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And we were
starting to recognize
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it's not
happening in our marriage.
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What about the
gospel in my marriage?
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What about the
evangelism in my family?
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And God just
began to open our eyes.
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And it took us on a journey
to the mountains of Montana.
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Some people thought
we were absolutely crazy.
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We were radical. Okay.
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But I praise God for that
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because that radical decision
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where God instructed us
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and teach us and taught us
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is what really
began to change our lives.
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So when you say a journey,
you actually moved to Montana.
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Yes.
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And you gave up your careers
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and co-founded
Restoration International.
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Yes.
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What is
Restoration International?
00:11:19.64\00:11:20.98
And we didn't plan
on all that happening.
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We just wanted to
secure our family.
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This is how God,
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the ministry began to
grow out of that experience.
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And how many
children are we talking about?
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We had three children at
that time, total of three.
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Total of three.
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Our oldest daughter,
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Alison was five years old
on the trip out to Montana.
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And our youngest
was just an infant.
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It was quite a big step for us.
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Amen Sure.
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People were saying,
why are you doing this?
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Why are you leaving the
security of your careers?
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You're just, you're
making lots of money
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and we said, we
can't explain all of this.
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But what we can tell you is that
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we know we are doing
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the will of God in
making this decision.
00:11:59.88\00:12:02.05
Well, what was
most important to us
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is to know that
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our children would be
prepared for eternal life.
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Amen.
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And the realization of that
shocked us one Friday night,
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when my husband said to me,
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what's the most important
thing you can accomplish?
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Well, I just finished
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my bachelor's degree in nursing.
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I was heading for my next level
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and I was in charge
of a critical care unit.
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So that's where
my mind was focused.
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I was career oriented
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and God sent our
children ahead of our schedule.
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So God always has a purpose
and a plan for our lives.
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And we're thankful
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because those are the ones
is what began to wake us up.
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And when he asked me
that question that night,
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I said to see our
children in the kingdom of God.
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It was like, it
was a new revelation.
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Of course,
every Christian parent
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wants that, but
we don't keep that
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on the
forefront of our thoughts.
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And I was actually shocked
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to hear her say
that at that time,
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if you could
have been in our home.
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I thought she was going on
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for her next credentials
in her master's degree.
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And when she said that,
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I literally was taken
back and I thought, wow.
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And I said to
her, after I paused,
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I said, "If
that's going to happen,
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something has to change."
00:13:10.42\00:13:14.19
And that
something begins with us.
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And that night I got
chills going down my spine.
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That night, we
took our little ones
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at the time that was...
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Just the two girls.
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The two girls in
their little footie pajamas.
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And we put them between
us and we held each other.
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And I prayed a
prayer of commitment
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that I will never
forget that night,
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that quiet Friday
evening by the fireplace.
00:13:35.14\00:13:37.91
I said, "Lord,
I will go anywhere
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You want me to go.
00:13:40.48\00:13:41.82
I will do
anything you want me to do
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to hear those words,
00:13:43.89\00:13:45.35
well done, thou
good and faithful servant
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and see the crown of life placed
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upon the heads of our children."
00:13:50.19\00:13:52.63
And we have never
turned back from that day.
00:13:52.66\00:13:55.50
You know, I always say that
00:13:55.53\00:13:57.70
the most important
thing a parent can do
00:13:57.73\00:13:59.97
is to teach their child
to have a loving relationship
00:14:00.00\00:14:03.94
with the Lord and
to understand His love.
00:14:03.97\00:14:07.11
And, you know, when
you become a parent,
00:14:07.14\00:14:09.11
that's a full-time ministry.
00:14:09.14\00:14:10.48
People just don't
realize that. That's right.
00:14:10.51\00:14:12.68
But you made
this bold radical move
00:14:12.71\00:14:15.42
because obviously
God's hand was on you.
00:14:15.45\00:14:19.25
He was calling you.
00:14:19.29\00:14:21.22
How long after you got
to Montana, tell us how
00:14:21.26\00:14:24.56
Restoration
International came up?
00:14:24.59\00:14:26.29
Yeah, so we were there.
00:14:26.33\00:14:28.00
We went out in '86, 1986,
00:14:28.03\00:14:31.20
and the ministry
officially began in 1989,
00:14:31.23\00:14:36.67
but we were
starting to do ministry
00:14:36.71\00:14:38.87
and one of the amazing things
00:14:38.91\00:14:40.24
was that people
from back in Hinsdale
00:14:40.28\00:14:43.31
were calling us and saying,
00:14:43.35\00:14:45.35
what's different about you guys.
00:14:45.38\00:14:47.02
Things are changing
and things were changing.
00:14:47.05\00:14:49.95
God was doing
amazing things in our lives
00:14:49.98\00:14:52.72
through amazing trials.
00:14:52.75\00:14:54.62
Okay.
00:14:54.66\00:14:55.99
Not through a soft
pink, fluffy blanket.
00:14:56.02\00:14:59.19
He was taking us through trials.
00:14:59.23\00:15:00.80
And I said to my wife,
00:15:00.83\00:15:02.53
"Praise God, we didn't know
00:15:02.56\00:15:03.90
what we were going to
go through in Montana."
00:15:03.93\00:15:05.60
That's right.
00:15:05.63\00:15:06.97
But it was
exactly what we needed.
00:15:07.00\00:15:09.07
And as a result, I
think over 10 families
00:15:09.10\00:15:12.54
that we know
within about five years
00:15:12.57\00:15:14.91
of that took their families out
00:15:14.94\00:15:17.11
to move to a quieter location
00:15:17.15\00:15:19.41
and their lives began
to really change as well.
00:15:19.45\00:15:21.65
Because the
life that we live in,
00:15:21.68\00:15:23.72
in suburbia is
just so consumed, right?
00:15:23.75\00:15:25.82
Yes.
00:15:25.85\00:15:27.19
And certainly now where
we are in today's culture
00:15:27.22\00:15:29.42
with the devices that are there,
00:15:29.46\00:15:31.19
people live on those things.
00:15:31.23\00:15:33.13
It's not their family anymore.
00:15:33.16\00:15:35.30
It's the device
that occupies the time.
00:15:35.33\00:15:38.73
And so, we didn't understand
all the God had ahead for us,
00:15:38.77\00:15:43.61
but what we
understood is that our first
00:15:43.64\00:15:45.84
and primary focus needed to be
00:15:45.87\00:15:48.31
the spiritual
nurturing of our family.
00:15:48.34\00:15:51.35
And this needs
to be happening now
00:15:51.38\00:15:53.45
because society
isn't getting better,
00:15:53.48\00:15:55.35
it's getting worse.
00:15:55.38\00:15:56.75
And we can't be casual
about our relationship with God.
00:15:56.79\00:15:59.22
We have to be intentional. Amen.
00:15:59.25\00:16:01.89
Well, obviously
00:16:01.92\00:16:03.26
this was a
perfect timing for you
00:16:03.29\00:16:05.56
to even come up with
a question like that.
00:16:05.59\00:16:08.40
What's the most
important thing to you?
00:16:08.43\00:16:10.90
And what I have
learned slowly learning
00:16:10.93\00:16:13.74
is that we all want to be heard.
00:16:13.77\00:16:16.20
Once we hear something,
00:16:16.24\00:16:17.57
we may think it
process information inside,
00:16:17.61\00:16:21.08
but we never have
really got to say anything.
00:16:21.11\00:16:24.51
And the minute that we say, man,
00:16:24.55\00:16:25.88
we got to really
quickly evaluate and decide
00:16:25.91\00:16:29.55
whether we're going to
take this a step further
00:16:29.58\00:16:31.75
and you heard...
00:16:31.79\00:16:33.36
Well, we heard.
And you processed.
00:16:33.39\00:16:34.82
We heard, but I
can tell you this,
00:16:34.86\00:16:37.49
in the 31 years
plus of ministry,
00:16:37.53\00:16:40.53
from the very beginning,
00:16:40.56\00:16:42.30
we never attempted
to have a ministry.
00:16:42.33\00:16:46.47
God put it on us.
00:16:46.50\00:16:47.84
We have never once
in all these years,
00:16:47.87\00:16:49.74
we have nearly 2
million miles on Delta Airlines.
00:16:49.77\00:16:52.61
Just that one airline,
never would have imagined
00:16:52.64\00:16:56.38
ever of the scope of a
simple little ministry,
00:16:56.41\00:17:00.62
but God has
generated every call.
00:17:00.65\00:17:03.72
That's right. Every call.
00:17:03.75\00:17:05.09
And I think that's what He does.
00:17:05.12\00:17:06.45
You know, what you guys
did was recognized here,
00:17:06.49\00:17:09.69
you are so busy in your church
00:17:09.72\00:17:11.59
and they're doing all
of this for everyone else.
00:17:11.63\00:17:13.90
But ministry begins
at home. That's right.
00:17:13.93\00:17:16.03
I mean the practical,
00:17:16.06\00:17:18.53
the practicality of the gospel
00:17:18.57\00:17:20.54
and evangelizing begins at home.
00:17:20.57\00:17:22.40
So, so you are now
living that out in our life
00:17:22.44\00:17:26.54
and let's talk about,
00:17:26.57\00:17:28.21
because you do
marriage counseling.
00:17:28.24\00:17:30.65
Tell me some of the
things that you all do?
00:17:30.68\00:17:33.65
Well, we're focused
on the family as a broad,
00:17:33.68\00:17:36.69
the broad area.
00:17:36.72\00:17:38.05
And obviously to
have a strong family,
00:17:38.09\00:17:39.79
we have to have an individual
strong relationship with God.
00:17:39.82\00:17:43.02
And so for us, and
the turning point for us
00:17:43.06\00:17:45.49
back in Hinsdale was not wait
00:17:45.53\00:17:47.53
till we get somewhere to
start something different.
00:17:47.56\00:17:51.13
We had to begin where we
were in our current environment.
00:17:51.17\00:17:54.20
And that was a struggle, right?
00:17:54.24\00:17:55.80
Because there's
so much going on.
00:17:55.84\00:17:57.87
And we just want to encourage
all of our listeners that
00:17:57.91\00:18:00.98
we need to have that
personal relationship
00:18:01.01\00:18:04.41
with Jesus Christ first,
taking time with Him daily.
00:18:04.45\00:18:07.15
And then in the marriage,
00:18:07.18\00:18:08.68
if we're going to
have a strong family,
00:18:08.72\00:18:10.39
we have to have
a strong marriage.
00:18:10.42\00:18:12.25
One that's
united, one that's happy,
00:18:12.29\00:18:14.82
one that's
functioning in the board of God.
00:18:14.86\00:18:17.49
And by the
principles of God's word
00:18:17.53\00:18:19.79
and the love, you know,
00:18:19.83\00:18:21.60
just abounds
from the relationship.
00:18:21.63\00:18:24.60
And then the children
have security in the home
00:18:24.63\00:18:27.84
and they then have a
picture of what God is that
00:18:27.87\00:18:31.27
they want that
picture in their life.
00:18:31.31\00:18:33.07
Amen and amen.
00:18:33.11\00:18:34.44
So it's, you do
marriage counseling
00:18:34.48\00:18:38.71
and you have marriage seminars,
00:18:38.75\00:18:40.35
you have podcasts, you have,
00:18:40.38\00:18:41.85
we're going to put up
their address here at the end.
00:18:41.88\00:18:45.69
So you can know
how to get in touch
00:18:45.72\00:18:47.49
with Tom and Alane.
00:18:47.52\00:18:48.96
But you do family seminars,
you do family camp meetings.
00:18:48.99\00:18:54.20
What is different?
00:18:54.23\00:18:57.90
All I can say,
what I've always enjoyed
00:18:57.93\00:19:00.14
about your marriage
00:19:00.17\00:19:01.54
when you did the
marriage program here,
00:19:01.57\00:19:02.97
the marriage counseling is,
00:19:03.00\00:19:04.61
as I said, very
relevant, very practical.
00:19:04.64\00:19:07.38
What's unique about the way
00:19:07.41\00:19:09.81
you do your marriage encounters?
00:19:09.84\00:19:12.61
Yeah.
00:19:12.65\00:19:13.98
So the marriage
retreats that we do,
00:19:14.02\00:19:15.98
they're developed
based on the group of people
00:19:16.02\00:19:18.59
that's coming and we've done.
00:19:18.62\00:19:20.06
So it's not cookie
cutter. It's not cookie cutter.
00:19:20.09\00:19:22.29
We've done, you
know, marriage retreats
00:19:22.32\00:19:24.16
for other
conferences and things,
00:19:24.19\00:19:25.99
which are great,
you know, larger groups,
00:19:26.03\00:19:27.66
but ours is
usually 20 couples or less.
00:19:27.70\00:19:31.40
So it stays more intimate
00:19:31.43\00:19:33.47
and every individual in
those marriages anonymously
00:19:33.50\00:19:36.84
fills out a survey.
00:19:36.87\00:19:38.34
So husband doesn't know
what wife writes on there.
00:19:38.37\00:19:39.94
You don't know
what your wife put,
00:19:39.97\00:19:41.54
because that can
be influencing you in.
00:19:41.58\00:19:43.85
We want raw honest answers.
00:19:43.88\00:19:45.61
So they don't do it together
00:19:45.65\00:19:47.12
and they send it in anonymously.
00:19:47.15\00:19:49.18
And then we tailor
that marriage retreat
00:19:49.22\00:19:53.19
for that group of people.
00:19:53.22\00:19:54.56
How exciting.
00:19:54.59\00:19:55.92
And the one we
just did in February,
00:19:55.96\00:19:57.29
we always do it at the weekend
before Valentine's in February.
00:19:57.33\00:20:01.76
And we do them in
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.
00:20:01.80\00:20:04.23
And this one, I mean,
00:20:04.27\00:20:06.90
it was our favorite of all time.
00:20:06.94\00:20:08.97
I mean, they've all been great,
00:20:09.00\00:20:10.34
but the Holy Spirit was
working in such a mighty way.
00:20:10.37\00:20:14.11
And I think it was
partly because people have been
00:20:14.14\00:20:15.84
locked down with
COVID and now they're free.
00:20:15.88\00:20:19.45
They can come sort of free,
00:20:19.48\00:20:21.12
but I mean,
they're getting together.
00:20:21.15\00:20:22.48
They're not
doing a thing on Zoom.
00:20:22.52\00:20:24.45
They're doing a thing in person.
00:20:24.49\00:20:26.45
And that group of
people just came alive.
00:20:26.49\00:20:28.96
The Holy Spirit worked
in such a powerful way,
00:20:28.99\00:20:33.60
almost every marriage retreat
we've had at least one, couple.
00:20:33.63\00:20:37.37
We had a couple last year
that they came to the retreat.
00:20:37.40\00:20:42.74
They actually came to the church
00:20:42.77\00:20:45.07
where we were doing a seminar.
00:20:45.11\00:20:46.81
I just have to
throw this in here
00:20:46.84\00:20:48.18
because this is
a beautiful story
00:20:48.21\00:20:49.54
of how God works.
00:20:49.58\00:20:50.91
They were coming to meet
some friends at the church.
00:20:50.95\00:20:54.48
They were going to,
00:20:54.52\00:20:55.85
they weren't
planning on coming to church.
00:20:55.88\00:20:57.22
They didn't know they
were having a special program.
00:20:57.25\00:20:58.59
They didn't know we were there
00:20:58.62\00:20:59.95
doing a special
marriage seminar.
00:20:59.99\00:21:01.32
They came in,
00:21:01.36\00:21:02.72
they were going to get
divorced on Monday morning.
00:21:02.76\00:21:05.49
They had their
paperwork all drawn up.
00:21:05.53\00:21:08.80
They came and they
came to meet their friends
00:21:08.83\00:21:11.73
and they stayed
for one of our meetings
00:21:11.77\00:21:14.34
and then decided to
stay for the afternoon.
00:21:14.37\00:21:16.97
That night at midnight,
00:21:17.01\00:21:18.44
that guy got
online and signed up
00:21:18.47\00:21:22.41
for our marriage
retreat in Pigeon Forge.
00:21:22.44\00:21:24.71
Next morning, he
said to his wife,
00:21:24.75\00:21:26.35
"We're going to
that marriage retreat
00:21:26.38\00:21:28.12
at Pigeon Forge."
00:21:28.15\00:21:29.72
And she says, "We're what?
00:21:29.75\00:21:31.72
We're not going to
now marriage retreat.
00:21:31.75\00:21:33.66
We're getting
divorced on Monday morning."
00:21:33.69\00:21:36.86
He said, "We're going."
00:21:36.89\00:21:38.29
He said, "We'd been
married long enough that
00:21:38.33\00:21:41.13
we've got to put
something into our marriage.
00:21:41.16\00:21:43.06
Let's give it one more try."
00:21:43.10\00:21:45.97
They came there
and they're living
00:21:46.00\00:21:47.77
by God's grace,
happily ever after.
00:21:47.80\00:21:49.80
It was so
interesting to see, you know,
00:21:49.84\00:21:52.44
the body language, right?
00:21:52.47\00:21:55.71
I mean, they couldn't have been
any further apart if they had.
00:21:55.74\00:21:58.05
But we have tables
for two and they're small.
00:21:58.08\00:22:00.45
So you have to
kind of sit cozy, right?
00:22:00.48\00:22:02.88
As the weekend went on,
they got closer and closer
00:22:02.92\00:22:05.99
and you could
just see their love,
00:22:06.02\00:22:07.96
be re, you know, ignited again.
00:22:07.99\00:22:10.39
And I think that's,
what's really beautiful.
00:22:10.43\00:22:11.83
We have a picture
from the marriage retreat.
00:22:11.86\00:22:14.30
It's called unbroken,
00:22:14.33\00:22:15.66
that's our
marriage theme is unbroken
00:22:15.70\00:22:18.00
and maybe they can put that
00:22:18.03\00:22:19.37
picture on the screen
as we talk about that.
00:22:19.40\00:22:21.20
That's the podcast.
00:22:21.24\00:22:22.57
That's the
podcast the unmarriage,
00:22:22.60\00:22:25.14
the unbroken
marriage retreat has a picture
00:22:25.17\00:22:28.38
of our whole group
with their t-shirts.
00:22:28.41\00:22:30.21
Okay. Let's go ahead and run.
00:22:30.25\00:22:32.01
Why don't we just run through
your pictures and let people...
00:22:32.05\00:22:33.52
Okay.
00:22:33.55\00:22:34.88
So this is the marriage retreat.
00:22:34.92\00:22:38.39
The t-shirts all say
unbroken, that's the theme.
00:22:38.42\00:22:41.69
That's also the
theme of our podcast,
00:22:41.72\00:22:44.09
which we'll talk about,
00:22:44.13\00:22:45.46
but this is the most recent one.
00:22:45.49\00:22:48.00
And we would just encourage,
we only take 20 couples,
00:22:48.03\00:22:52.37
but if the demand
grows, we'll do two.
00:22:52.40\00:22:55.34
Amen. That's right.
00:22:55.37\00:22:56.71
I think you have
a few more pictures.
00:22:56.74\00:22:58.07
Why don't we just go ahead
00:22:58.11\00:22:59.44
and run through
the pictures right now
00:22:59.47\00:23:01.08
through all of them
00:23:01.11\00:23:02.44
and kind of have
an idea of what to do.
00:23:02.48\00:23:04.81
This is family seminar.
00:23:04.85\00:23:06.92
This is our family retreat.
00:23:06.95\00:23:08.52
This is the Indiana location.
00:23:08.55\00:23:10.09
We do four of those each year
00:23:10.12\00:23:11.95
where the family
comes for four days
00:23:11.99\00:23:14.26
and everybody
hears the same thing.
00:23:14.29\00:23:16.93
We don't divide kids
meetings, adult meetings.
00:23:16.96\00:23:20.40
We do have special
features in those retreats,
00:23:20.43\00:23:23.37
but it's the family
hears the same message.
00:23:23.40\00:23:25.87
So family can grow together.
00:23:25.90\00:23:27.70
So what I mean, kind
of give us some examples,
00:23:27.74\00:23:30.21
or when you say the families
hearing the same message?
00:23:30.24\00:23:33.01
The kids are in the audience
00:23:33.04\00:23:34.61
and we're talking on
the subject of marriage.
00:23:34.64\00:23:36.28
Exactly.
00:23:36.31\00:23:37.65
And then when we're
talking about parenting,
00:23:37.68\00:23:39.01
the whole family is there.
00:23:39.05\00:23:40.38
Okay.
00:23:40.42\00:23:41.75
We do family recreation time,
00:23:41.78\00:23:43.12
which is for a lot
of these young people.
00:23:43.15\00:23:44.49
There is a picture of
that, family recreation.
00:23:44.52\00:23:45.85
It's the highlight.
00:23:45.89\00:23:47.22
And it's, it
breaks our heart sometimes
00:23:47.26\00:23:48.59
because children will come to us
00:23:48.62\00:23:50.56
over the years
and they will say,
00:23:50.59\00:23:52.33
"I love coming
to family retreat.
00:23:52.36\00:23:54.36
It's the only time
mommy and daddy play with me."
00:23:54.40\00:23:57.97
They're so busy.
00:23:58.00\00:23:59.37
And so, one of
the amazing things
00:23:59.40\00:24:00.90
is that the children
00:24:00.94\00:24:03.14
are actually
pushing their parents
00:24:03.17\00:24:06.27
to come to family retreat
00:24:06.31\00:24:08.48
because it's family time
00:24:08.51\00:24:10.75
and it's family fun
time that they can do
00:24:10.78\00:24:12.55
at the same time
with mom and dad.
00:24:12.58\00:24:13.92
Yes.
00:24:13.95\00:24:15.28
And you know, that's,
that people sometimes,
00:24:15.32\00:24:19.05
what is it that you
talk about the straw
00:24:19.09\00:24:21.32
when you tell guys...
00:24:21.36\00:24:23.36
Men are often quite surprised
that JD will tell them that,
00:24:23.39\00:24:28.46
you know, women sometimes
will let things pile up
00:24:28.50\00:24:32.87
and then one day
there's the straw
00:24:32.90\00:24:34.40
that broke the
camel's back and that's it.
00:24:34.44\00:24:37.11
And it's hard to
put it back together.
00:24:37.14\00:24:39.64
When should a family,
00:24:39.67\00:24:41.58
when should a couple,
00:24:41.61\00:24:43.75
at what point
should they reach out?
00:24:43.78\00:24:45.11
Yeah.
00:24:45.15\00:24:46.48
So, Shelley, when you said that
00:24:46.51\00:24:47.85
it reminded me of,
00:24:47.88\00:24:49.22
I wish I could say
it only happened once,
00:24:49.25\00:24:50.89
but it's
happened numerous times.
00:24:50.92\00:24:52.79
Over the years, I
got a call from a guy
00:24:52.82\00:24:55.79
and he was, I mean, I
could just hear his voice.
00:24:55.82\00:24:57.99
He was broken.
00:24:58.03\00:24:59.36
He was on the verge
of tears and he's sad,
00:24:59.39\00:25:04.23
and we had no
appointment or anything.
00:25:04.27\00:25:05.70
He just had my number
00:25:05.73\00:25:07.07
and called me that
doesn't always work either.
00:25:07.10\00:25:09.24
But he called me
and he said, I came home
00:25:09.27\00:25:13.11
and there's a note
on my kitchen table.
00:25:13.14\00:25:16.18
Most of the furniture is gone.
00:25:16.21\00:25:18.05
My wife says she's done with me.
00:25:18.08\00:25:20.95
She's put up
with it for too long.
00:25:20.98\00:25:23.39
She can't cope any
longer. She's gone.
00:25:23.42\00:25:25.95
The house is basically empty.
And I said, "I'm so sorry.
00:25:25.99\00:25:30.39
And you probably
don't even have a clue
00:25:30.43\00:25:32.79
why it happened."
00:25:32.83\00:25:34.93
And he paused and he
said, "You're right, I don't.
00:25:34.96\00:25:37.80
I've been living this way.
00:25:37.83\00:25:39.37
I'm the same as I
was five years ago."
00:25:39.40\00:25:40.74
And I said,
00:25:40.77\00:25:42.10
"That's a big
reason right there,
00:25:42.14\00:25:44.14
because your wife
has been giving you."
00:25:44.17\00:25:45.71
And I said, "I don't
know your personal situation,
00:25:45.74\00:25:48.38
but let me tell
you that your wife
00:25:48.41\00:25:50.28
has told you over and over again
00:25:50.31\00:25:52.18
the things that she needs,
the thing she desires from you
00:25:52.21\00:25:55.38
and longs for
you to experience."
00:25:55.42\00:25:58.12
And you've just
done business as usual.
00:25:58.15\00:26:00.39
And then he broke down
and the floodgates opened
00:26:00.42\00:26:02.69
and he just cried and he
says, "That's absolutely.
00:26:02.72\00:26:04.53
How did you know that?"
00:26:04.56\00:26:05.89
I said, because we guys,
00:26:05.93\00:26:07.50
I said, "I'm one of
them, we're clueless."
00:26:07.53\00:26:10.97
And I said, "Our
wives, they give us,
00:26:11.00\00:26:14.14
yeah, a lot of cryptic messages,
00:26:14.17\00:26:15.70
a lot of coded messages,
but it gets to the point
00:26:15.74\00:26:18.37
where they're just saying,
please, I need time with you.
00:26:18.41\00:26:21.84
I need for you to
hear me and listen to me.
00:26:21.88\00:26:24.35
And I need you to
spend time with our children.
00:26:24.38\00:26:27.48
And we mean to do it,
but we don't get around.
00:26:27.52\00:26:30.42
And I said, "Here you are,
you're in a very tough place,
00:26:30.45\00:26:34.29
but it's not too late."
00:26:34.32\00:26:36.32
And I've heard
this over and over
00:26:36.36\00:26:38.56
is because people
are not taking the time
00:26:38.59\00:26:41.33
to invest in their families.
00:26:41.36\00:26:43.26
They're investing
in everything else.
00:26:43.30\00:26:44.63
Amen.
00:26:44.67\00:26:46.00
And both sides come to a place
where they, in their own minds,
00:26:46.03\00:26:51.07
they can
justify their positions,
00:26:51.11\00:26:53.54
but they are clueless.
00:26:53.58\00:26:54.91
Yeah.
00:26:54.94\00:26:56.28
And they go into
their own corners.
00:26:56.31\00:26:57.65
Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:57.68\00:26:59.01
And you know, you said
that there's several thoughts
00:26:59.05\00:27:00.38
running through my
mind at the same time.
00:27:00.42\00:27:01.75
And number one is
women don't ever think
00:27:01.78\00:27:05.35
that you can give
your husband a hint.
00:27:05.39\00:27:07.56
Men are clueless.
00:27:07.59\00:27:08.92
They don't get at our
hints very well at all.
00:27:08.96\00:27:11.06
Just say it straight,
right? Just say it straight.
00:27:11.09\00:27:13.06
Because you know, I
tell people when it comes
00:27:13.09\00:27:16.13
to our
relationship with the Lord,
00:27:16.16\00:27:18.57
communication is
the relationship.
00:27:18.60\00:27:21.34
It's about praying with God.
00:27:21.37\00:27:23.54
It's about
listening to His word,
00:27:23.57\00:27:25.37
but it's the same in
a marriage relationship.
00:27:25.41\00:27:28.74
Our words define us.
00:27:28.78\00:27:30.65
And communication
is the relationship.
00:27:30.68\00:27:33.42
If you're not communicating well
00:27:33.45\00:27:35.18
with your
spouse or and you know,
00:27:35.22\00:27:37.89
sometimes it's
like, when you say,
00:27:37.92\00:27:39.52
well, honey, I need
you to do this with me.
00:27:39.55\00:27:41.32
Or I sure would
appreciate this or something.
00:27:41.36\00:27:43.86
And if they don't pick up on it,
00:27:43.89\00:27:45.49
sometimes you just got to
put your fist down and say,
00:27:45.53\00:27:48.00
hey, we got to do
something differently.
00:27:48.03\00:27:49.76
And that's what I
know everybody including us
00:27:49.80\00:27:53.44
would benefit from
coming to your seminar.
00:27:53.47\00:27:55.54
Well, we've certainly benefited
00:27:55.57\00:27:57.97
because we had a
pretty rough two years,
00:27:58.01\00:27:59.81
our first two years of marriage,
00:27:59.84\00:28:01.54
those that have
heard the series Marriage
00:28:01.58\00:28:04.88
in God's Hands will know,
because we're very vulnerable.
00:28:04.91\00:28:07.28
And our first few
years were tough and,
00:28:07.32\00:28:10.65
you know, God is
gracious, but we're learners.
00:28:10.69\00:28:13.76
That's right. They were rough.
00:28:13.79\00:28:16.02
And we, it's
not that we've been,
00:28:16.06\00:28:17.49
got it all down.
00:28:17.53\00:28:18.86
I mean, we learn every time.
00:28:18.89\00:28:21.00
When we're preparing
for those marriage retreats
00:28:21.03\00:28:23.03
or any marriage
message, we are also learning.
00:28:23.06\00:28:26.07
We're taking our
marriage to a new level, right?
00:28:26.10\00:28:28.67
A depth of
foundation in God's Word,
00:28:28.70\00:28:31.47
a depth of surrender of self.
00:28:31.51\00:28:33.48
You know, we've often
heard marriage is 50-50.
00:28:33.51\00:28:36.68
It's absolutely cannot be 50-50
00:28:36.71\00:28:38.51
because you're going
to end up in divorce.
00:28:38.55\00:28:40.55
Marriage has to be all.
00:28:40.58\00:28:42.58
I give a 100% for
every one of you viewers
00:28:42.62\00:28:45.82
you have to give a 100%.
00:28:45.85\00:28:47.86
Your spouse gives a 100%.
00:28:47.89\00:28:49.46
God gave a 100%.
00:28:49.49\00:28:51.09
We give a 100% back
and what do we have?
00:28:51.13\00:28:53.43
A beautiful relationship.
00:28:53.46\00:28:54.86
And that's the
way it is in marriage.
00:28:54.90\00:28:56.50
It's both giving everything
00:28:56.53\00:28:58.57
and investing all
in this circle of love
00:28:58.60\00:29:01.54
in the marriage.
00:29:01.57\00:29:02.90
Amen. I'm just going to take it.
00:29:02.94\00:29:05.84
Let's put the pause button on.
00:29:05.87\00:29:07.44
We're going to come back
and tell you the rest of their,
00:29:07.48\00:29:09.98
what goes on at their
retreats in their ministry.
00:29:10.01\00:29:13.62
But one thing
that I hear so much is,
00:29:13.65\00:29:17.69
and you mentioned that,
00:29:17.72\00:29:19.05
you touched on it, Alane,
00:29:19.09\00:29:20.49
and that is people,
00:29:20.52\00:29:23.06
the devices that
we have nowadays,
00:29:23.09\00:29:25.99
it seems that people spend,
00:29:26.03\00:29:29.10
married couples spend
more time on their devices
00:29:29.13\00:29:31.83
than they do
communicating with their spouse.
00:29:31.87\00:29:35.50
What? How do you...
00:29:35.54\00:29:38.34
How does somebody
become aware of that?
00:29:38.37\00:29:41.24
When you know, you're
artificially connected
00:29:41.28\00:29:43.45
to everybody in the world
00:29:43.48\00:29:44.81
and feel like
you're doing great things,
00:29:44.85\00:29:46.72
but you're leaving your
spouse just sitting silent.
00:29:46.75\00:29:51.25
How do you wake
people up to that?
00:29:51.29\00:29:54.09
Yeah, it's a challenge
00:29:54.12\00:29:55.92
because you've got to
get their attention first.
00:29:55.96\00:29:58.23
And unfortunately,
it's some of the hard things
00:29:58.26\00:30:01.90
and some of you out there
00:30:01.93\00:30:03.37
that are watching have
probably experienced this
00:30:03.40\00:30:05.63
sometimes getting the attention.
00:30:05.67\00:30:08.84
I say, God needs to
get our attention first.
00:30:08.87\00:30:11.27
Okay.
00:30:11.31\00:30:12.64
And I tell people, I tell men,
00:30:12.67\00:30:15.28
especially we need
our connection with God,
00:30:15.31\00:30:19.21
without that we will
have no saving connection
00:30:19.25\00:30:22.72
to any other human being.
00:30:22.75\00:30:24.45
And if we don't take that time
and I also tell couples, I say,
00:30:24.49\00:30:29.86
the more specifically we pray,
00:30:29.89\00:30:31.33
and this is something that I do.
00:30:31.36\00:30:32.73
And that's why I share this.
00:30:32.76\00:30:34.13
The more specifically we pray,
00:30:34.16\00:30:36.50
the more
specifically God answers.
00:30:36.53\00:30:40.17
And the more
specifically we know
00:30:40.20\00:30:42.20
his personal love
towards each one of us.
00:30:42.24\00:30:45.97
Praying specifically revitalizes
00:30:46.01\00:30:49.58
our relationship with God.
00:30:49.61\00:30:50.98
Give us an example,
00:30:51.01\00:30:52.35
somebody be
saying, what does he mean?
00:30:52.38\00:30:54.25
The very first time that
00:30:54.28\00:30:55.62
I really started understanding
this was, was back,
00:30:55.65\00:30:58.15
way back in our
early years of Montana.
00:30:58.19\00:31:00.02
And I had, I never thought
I ever had an anger issue.
00:31:00.06\00:31:02.76
Okay.
00:31:02.79\00:31:04.13
The only time I
thought I had an anger issue.
00:31:04.16\00:31:05.49
Didn't ask me, but...
00:31:05.53\00:31:08.06
So and I,
00:31:08.10\00:31:09.93
and when it
really came to my heart
00:31:09.96\00:31:11.57
and I started
understanding that I do.
00:31:11.60\00:31:13.57
I said, "Lord, the
problem is that by the time
00:31:13.60\00:31:17.57
I get a message from
you that I understand
00:31:17.61\00:31:20.14
I'm already on
the slippery slide
00:31:20.18\00:31:21.54
and I'm on my way out.
00:31:21.58\00:31:23.18
And it's too hard
to stop going down."
00:31:23.21\00:31:25.81
So I said, "Lord,
will You do this for me?
00:31:25.85\00:31:27.55
Will You remind me?
00:31:27.58\00:31:29.25
Because You
said that You love me
00:31:29.28\00:31:30.79
with everlasting love.
00:31:30.82\00:31:32.15
Will You remind me
00:31:32.19\00:31:33.76
before I get on
that slippery slide,
00:31:33.79\00:31:36.16
remind me that
I'm heading there."
00:31:36.19\00:31:38.26
And I tell you, God is faithful
00:31:38.29\00:31:41.76
and He will never
leave us or forsake us.
00:31:41.80\00:31:44.90
He reminded me and
the very first time
00:31:44.93\00:31:46.63
He reminded me.
00:31:46.67\00:31:48.27
I was so self-assured
and that's the problem
00:31:48.30\00:31:51.44
with any of our
selfishness, okay.
00:31:51.47\00:31:53.98
I'm underneath a
sink in our house,
00:31:54.01\00:31:56.71
working under there.
00:31:56.75\00:31:58.08
The sink was
leaking under there.
00:31:58.11\00:32:00.08
That's, you know
what that feels like.
00:32:00.12\00:32:01.45
Baby drop.
00:32:01.48\00:32:02.82
I tell you, it's a
place where self can rise.
00:32:02.85\00:32:05.65
And the Lord called
to me. I'm under there.
00:32:05.69\00:32:07.96
Nothing's going wrong
and the Lord called to me.
00:32:07.99\00:32:11.23
He says it's starting to happen.
00:32:11.26\00:32:13.63
That still small
voice called to my heart.
00:32:13.66\00:32:15.96
And I
immediately argued with Him.
00:32:16.00\00:32:18.23
I said, "There's
nothing happening."
00:32:18.27\00:32:19.60
Okay.
00:32:19.63\00:32:21.84
I mean, this, everybody
can relate to this, okay,
00:32:21.87\00:32:23.47
if we really a relationship.
00:32:23.51\00:32:24.84
We justify ourselves, right?
00:32:24.87\00:32:26.21
We rationalize, this is...
00:32:26.24\00:32:27.58
What did I ask Him to do?
00:32:27.61\00:32:28.94
I specifically
asked Him to remind me
00:32:28.98\00:32:30.78
before I get on
the slippery slide.
00:32:30.81\00:32:32.91
So I got out
from under the sink.
00:32:32.95\00:32:35.12
I raised up and I hit my head
00:32:35.15\00:32:36.55
on the cupboard
that was open above me.
00:32:36.58\00:32:38.69
Wait a minute that
he left open by the way,
00:32:38.72\00:32:41.16
which I was so glad it
wasn't me that left it open
00:32:41.19\00:32:43.66
because that could
have opened the floodgates.
00:32:43.69\00:32:46.06
I hit my head so
hard on that cupboard.
00:32:46.09\00:32:47.80
I said, "I got it, Lord.
00:32:47.83\00:32:51.03
Thank you."
00:32:51.07\00:32:52.40
From that day forward,
00:32:52.43\00:32:53.77
I started paying
attention to that prayer
00:32:53.80\00:32:56.71
and how God was
going to answer it.
00:32:56.74\00:32:58.41
And it had, it
has revolutionized
00:32:58.44\00:33:00.54
that part of my life.
00:33:00.58\00:33:02.01
And so I do this on everything.
00:33:02.04\00:33:03.71
If I told you all
the specific prayers
00:33:03.75\00:33:05.25
I pray in the
morning, I praise the Lord.
00:33:05.28\00:33:07.85
I say, Lord, please remember
your promise in Genesis 3:15,
00:33:07.88\00:33:11.85
that You will put enmity
between me and the devil,
00:33:11.89\00:33:14.56
enmity between my
selfish soul and the soul
00:33:14.59\00:33:17.13
that You're trying to make me
00:33:17.16\00:33:19.19
into the man You want me to be.
00:33:19.23\00:33:20.80
And He never fails us.
00:33:20.83\00:33:23.73
That's a good
word for people here.
00:33:23.77\00:33:25.10
Absolutely
00:33:25.13\00:33:26.47
Here's one of the
challenges we have.
00:33:26.50\00:33:28.00
We think if we pray,
God's just going to do it.
00:33:28.04\00:33:30.81
So the anger issue goes away
because I prayed about that,
00:33:30.84\00:33:33.27
for me, it was impatience.
00:33:33.31\00:33:34.64
My impatience
is going to go away
00:33:34.68\00:33:36.01
because I prayed about it.
00:33:36.04\00:33:37.38
But you know, the more I prayed,
00:33:37.41\00:33:38.75
the worst I got.
00:33:38.78\00:33:40.12
And I was so frustrated
and I was so discouraged.
00:33:40.15\00:33:43.02
And I said, "God, I
don't want to be impatient
00:33:43.05\00:33:44.79
with these little ones.
00:33:44.82\00:33:46.15
I want to be patient with them.
00:33:46.19\00:33:47.52
I don't want to
lose my cool with them."
00:33:47.56\00:33:49.19
Because I also homeschool.
00:33:49.22\00:33:50.56
That was another
big reason we moved.
00:33:50.59\00:33:52.36
We wanted to be able
to educate our children
00:33:52.39\00:33:55.43
in every aspect of life.
00:33:55.46\00:33:56.93
We couldn't do it
and it was only legal
00:33:56.97\00:33:58.73
in four states
back in those days.
00:33:58.77\00:34:00.10
Yeah. Wow.
00:34:00.14\00:34:01.47
So that's what drove us
or moved us to the Northwest.
00:34:01.50\00:34:04.34
So I really wanted
to be a patient teacher
00:34:04.37\00:34:07.31
and I wasn't.
00:34:07.34\00:34:09.44
So I prayed earnestly.
00:34:09.48\00:34:11.05
And the problem was is that
00:34:11.08\00:34:12.41
I thought God was
going to take this out of me.
00:34:12.45\00:34:15.65
Just wave some kind
of magic dust over you.
00:34:15.68\00:34:17.39
But what God does is
He, if we want something,
00:34:17.42\00:34:20.16
He gives us the circumstances
00:34:20.19\00:34:21.96
to develop that character trait.
00:34:21.99\00:34:24.53
This is the true gospel.
00:34:24.56\00:34:26.49
It is not that God just comes in
00:34:26.53\00:34:28.26
and takes out all the bad
and fills it up with the good,
00:34:28.30\00:34:30.97
we have to
choose choice by choice,
00:34:31.00\00:34:33.44
circumstance by circumstance.
00:34:33.47\00:34:35.10
Once I understood that,
00:34:35.14\00:34:37.14
it was like his
revelation for me,
00:34:37.17\00:34:40.01
if, when I started
to feel that impatience,
00:34:40.04\00:34:41.81
that intensity
that for whatever.
00:34:41.84\00:34:43.85
And it always starts in
a physical manifestation.
00:34:43.88\00:34:45.71
You can feel yourself rising.
00:34:45.75\00:34:47.85
Okay, God, right now I
understand You are calling me
00:34:47.88\00:34:51.15
to let You have handle
this and I can step back
00:34:51.19\00:34:54.99
and You give me
the words to speak.
00:34:55.02\00:34:56.79
You give me the
countenance to have,
00:34:56.83\00:34:58.83
and You give me the attitude
00:34:58.86\00:35:00.53
by which I can
redeem the heart of my child
00:35:00.56\00:35:03.13
rather than just going in
00:35:03.16\00:35:04.70
and becoming
impatient, frustrated.
00:35:04.73\00:35:06.07
Yeah.
00:35:06.10\00:35:07.44
And, Alane, that
resonates with me so much.
00:35:07.47\00:35:09.10
When we first got married,
00:35:09.14\00:35:10.47
I prayed, oh Lord, let
me be a scriptural wife.
00:35:10.51\00:35:13.88
Put a guard at the
door post of my lips.
00:35:13.91\00:35:16.58
Don't let me try to be his God.
00:35:16.61\00:35:18.81
And you know, I can't
tell you how many times
00:35:18.85\00:35:22.02
I've met my tongue
inside of my cheek.
00:35:22.05\00:35:24.65
I was like, okay, Lord.
00:35:24.69\00:35:26.05
And the other
night, this is amazing.
00:35:26.09\00:35:29.19
After all these years,
the other night something,
00:35:29.22\00:35:31.63
I already know it
was on a Sabbath morning
00:35:31.66\00:35:33.53
and I wasn't going to church.
00:35:33.56\00:35:35.06
I was in a lot of pain.
00:35:35.10\00:35:36.43
He was getting ready for church.
00:35:36.46\00:35:37.90
And I said,
00:35:37.93\00:35:39.27
"Oh, you've got to
watch this, honey."
00:35:39.30\00:35:41.14
And he said, I forgot
00:35:41.17\00:35:42.67
he was getting ready for church.
00:35:42.70\00:35:44.04
I wasn't paying
attention to the time.
00:35:44.07\00:35:45.87
Long story short, JD sat
down and I heard this kind of,
00:35:45.91\00:35:51.21
and then I
realized he's doing this
00:35:51.25\00:35:53.75
just to please me.
00:35:53.78\00:35:55.15
I'm being controlling
like a mother, come watch this.
00:35:55.18\00:35:58.42
And so we all constantly
have to rely on the Lord
00:35:58.45\00:36:04.39
because you know,
00:36:04.43\00:36:06.76
we are selfish little
creatures that want our ways.
00:36:06.80\00:36:09.56
Sometimes we just think,
00:36:09.60\00:36:11.97
you know, oh, honey
taste this, it's so good.
00:36:12.00\00:36:14.24
No, I don't want
it. Oh, please taste it.
00:36:14.27\00:36:16.47
It's like why
we care. All right.
00:36:16.50\00:36:20.68
So let's go through
the rest of the pictures.
00:36:20.71\00:36:22.58
You've got the
marriage seminars.
00:36:22.61\00:36:24.65
You have the family's
seminars and what's this?
00:36:24.68\00:36:29.88
This is the theme
00:36:29.92\00:36:31.25
for the 2021
family retreat this year,
00:36:31.29\00:36:33.96
it's called Beyond Belief.
00:36:33.99\00:36:35.59
You notice that we're all
on this side of the chasm.
00:36:35.62\00:36:38.59
And the cross is there
to take us beyond belief.
00:36:38.63\00:36:41.86
What we have,
00:36:41.90\00:36:43.23
what we're trying to
encourage people to do.
00:36:43.26\00:36:44.93
We are living in
a time that we have,
00:36:44.97\00:36:47.10
we can't be content
00:36:47.14\00:36:48.47
with just having
biblical knowledge
00:36:48.50\00:36:50.67
or going to the right church
or having biblical principles.
00:36:50.71\00:36:54.08
But we have to live those
00:36:54.11\00:36:55.68
by the grace of God
every day in our lives.
00:36:55.71\00:36:58.01
We have to take up that cross
with Jesus across that chasm
00:36:58.05\00:37:03.89
and live beyond beliefs.
00:37:03.92\00:37:05.45
In other words, our beliefs
become a part of who we are,
00:37:05.49\00:37:09.26
so that when we
get into circumstances,
00:37:09.29\00:37:11.06
which are uncomfortable,
inconvenient, undesired,
00:37:11.09\00:37:14.13
we don't have to go
down the human path.
00:37:14.16\00:37:16.63
We can take, keep
hold of the divine,
00:37:16.67\00:37:18.80
and have a divine
response to those things.
00:37:18.83\00:37:20.87
Amen. Amen.
00:37:20.90\00:37:22.44
We are so excited
about this topic this year,
00:37:22.47\00:37:26.17
this theme because this
is, we really are in the time.
00:37:26.21\00:37:30.61
Of course, we're
always in this time,
00:37:30.65\00:37:32.21
but right now we
feel such intensity
00:37:32.25\00:37:34.82
and such a burden that
00:37:34.85\00:37:36.58
it is time for us
to go beyond the way
00:37:36.62\00:37:39.99
we just take our beliefs.
00:37:40.02\00:37:42.56
And we just have our
way of doing religion.
00:37:42.59\00:37:47.60
Okay. Yeah.
00:37:47.63\00:37:48.96
When we look at
the experience of Job,
00:37:49.00\00:37:52.00
it is unbelievable to
us, beyond belief that
00:37:52.03\00:37:55.30
this man could go through
all that he went through,
00:37:55.34\00:37:58.54
losing everything he
had, including the support
00:37:58.57\00:38:03.98
and respect of his own wife.
00:38:04.01\00:38:05.68
Yes. Everything was gone.
00:38:05.71\00:38:07.75
And that man said, though,
00:38:07.78\00:38:10.75
he slay me yet
will I trust in Him?
00:38:10.79\00:38:14.76
That is beyond belief.
00:38:14.79\00:38:16.83
We are going to
go through things.
00:38:16.86\00:38:19.13
We're already
going through things.
00:38:19.16\00:38:21.00
So if we can't go beyond belief
00:38:21.03\00:38:22.63
in our
relationship to our spouse,
00:38:22.66\00:38:24.20
when she crosses my will.
00:38:24.23\00:38:26.07
Me crossing your will, babes.
00:38:26.10\00:38:27.70
Could that be possible?
00:38:27.74\00:38:30.01
If we can't go beyond
that, if we can't rise
00:38:30.04\00:38:32.61
and go beyond our belief
that I don't need to get upset,
00:38:32.64\00:38:36.31
we need to go beyond that.
00:38:36.34\00:38:37.81
By faith, we need
to go beyond that.
00:38:37.85\00:38:40.88
And God has a lot of training
left for each one of us.
00:38:40.92\00:38:43.49
That's right.
00:38:43.52\00:38:44.85
I just want to hit
on something personal,
00:38:44.89\00:38:46.32
because I know you
all are so vulnerable.
00:38:46.35\00:38:48.96
And what I mean by vulnerable
00:38:48.99\00:38:50.83
is we all four
of us sitting here.
00:38:50.86\00:38:53.73
Transparent.
00:38:53.76\00:38:55.10
Believe transparent
is the word I'm using.
00:38:55.13\00:38:57.07
We believe that being vulnerable
00:38:57.10\00:38:59.33
by being transparent is
the best way to minister.
00:38:59.37\00:39:03.77
You have four
children? Three children.
00:39:03.81\00:39:07.31
I mean three
children, seven grandkids.
00:39:07.34\00:39:09.98
What happened in,
00:39:10.01\00:39:11.91
did all of your kids
just follow suit and say,
00:39:11.95\00:39:15.78
"Yay God, I'm on
fire for the Lord."
00:39:15.82\00:39:19.22
Yes, go ahead They all love God.
00:39:19.25\00:39:22.06
But we did have a
detour with our youngest,
00:39:22.09\00:39:24.63
our son, he
wanted to be a pilot.
00:39:24.66\00:39:28.40
And we sent him to
an aviation program
00:39:28.43\00:39:31.67
and he excelled remarkably.
00:39:31.70\00:39:34.60
And when he got into that arena.
00:39:34.64\00:39:38.17
Corporate
aviation to be specific.
00:39:38.21\00:39:39.74
Yes.
00:39:39.77\00:39:41.11
And he started his own business
and he was hiring pilots
00:39:41.14\00:39:44.68
because he's too
young to be the captain,
00:39:44.71\00:39:46.72
he had to be the first officer.
00:39:46.75\00:39:48.75
So he's hiring retired,
airline pilots to fly the jets.
00:39:48.78\00:39:51.25
So the flying jets
for business people
00:39:51.29\00:39:53.15
and things like that.
00:39:53.19\00:39:54.52
It was just a
totally different culture
00:39:54.56\00:39:56.32
than what he came out of.
00:39:56.36\00:39:57.86
And, of course,
there's a lot of lure, right?
00:39:57.89\00:40:00.40
The Bible says
the love of money,
00:40:00.43\00:40:02.60
the love of money is
the root of all evil.
00:40:02.63\00:40:04.67
It is what money
can do for self, right?
00:40:04.70\00:40:07.44
But anyway, he had a detour
and it was very heartbreaking.
00:40:07.47\00:40:10.41
And, you want to add to that?
00:40:10.44\00:40:13.48
Well, we're just
thankful that he's,
00:40:13.51\00:40:15.54
he's back with the
Lord and we never doubted.
00:40:15.58\00:40:19.05
And he said to us, I knew that
you never stopped loving me.
00:40:19.08\00:40:24.12
I knew that you
would never give up on me.
00:40:24.15\00:40:26.55
Amen.
00:40:26.59\00:40:27.92
And I knew that one day I
would come back to the Lord.
00:40:27.96\00:40:32.59
Praise God. He knew that.
00:40:32.63\00:40:33.96
Yes, he knew that
deep in his heart.
00:40:34.00\00:40:35.46
And I can tell you, I
mean, this is very vulnerable.
00:40:35.50\00:40:39.63
One night, he called me
00:40:39.67\00:40:41.00
and we spent it's
the longest phone call
00:40:41.04\00:40:42.67
I've ever had
six and a half hours
00:40:42.70\00:40:45.04
I was on the phone with my son
00:40:45.07\00:40:46.78
from midnight till
6:30 in the morning.
00:40:46.81\00:40:49.31
And in that phone call,
he was, you know, he said,
00:40:49.34\00:40:53.35
"I'm just trembling right
now, father, I'm trembling."
00:40:53.38\00:40:57.45
He said, "Because I
know that you're right.
00:40:57.49\00:41:00.06
I know that you are right.
00:41:00.09\00:41:02.12
And you have
been an anchor for me.
00:41:02.16\00:41:03.89
You have never given up
on me. You have never...
00:41:03.93\00:41:06.29
I know that what
I'm doing is all wrong.
00:41:06.33\00:41:08.40
And I feel guilty
and all this stuff."
00:41:08.43\00:41:10.87
But earlier in that phone call,
00:41:10.90\00:41:13.37
he had tried to get me
to lighten up, you know,
00:41:13.40\00:41:17.64
why don't we just
go out and, you know,
00:41:17.67\00:41:19.31
just have some fun,
you know, have a drink in.
00:41:19.34\00:41:22.54
Of course, I had some of
my own history back there,
00:41:22.58\00:41:24.85
I went off the rails
for a couple of years.
00:41:24.88\00:41:27.18
And he said, he knew my
story. He knew some of it.
00:41:27.22\00:41:30.09
And he says, "Come on,
father, just lighten up.
00:41:30.12\00:41:32.22
Let's just do something fun.
00:41:32.25\00:41:35.39
Just, you know,
relax a little bit."
00:41:35.42\00:41:37.53
And I said, "Son,
if I relaxed for you,
00:41:37.56\00:41:40.26
the way you're
talking about, right now,
00:41:40.30\00:41:41.66
you lose respect for me.
00:41:41.70\00:41:43.90
I want to be an anchor for you.
00:41:43.93\00:41:45.67
I know what you need."
00:41:45.70\00:41:47.14
He has said to us,
you've been an anchor.
00:41:47.17\00:41:50.51
You never gave up on me.
00:41:50.54\00:41:51.87
You never
stopped believing in me.
00:41:51.91\00:41:53.74
These are things we
now can tell parents
00:41:53.78\00:41:55.74
with wholeheartedly that
if you have a son or daughter
00:41:55.78\00:41:59.71
that loses their way,
please don't give up on them.
00:41:59.75\00:42:03.42
That's right.
Please don't let them go.
00:42:03.45\00:42:05.99
We don't have to compromise
and go along with them,
00:42:06.02\00:42:09.16
but we can't let them go.
00:42:09.19\00:42:11.49
Because God says to us,
00:42:11.53\00:42:13.06
Jesus says, "I
will never leave you
00:42:13.09\00:42:14.90
or forsake you."
00:42:14.93\00:42:16.26
And we're on the
other side of that.
00:42:16.30\00:42:18.13
We praise God for that. Amen.
00:42:18.17\00:42:19.63
God is always pursuing us
00:42:19.67\00:42:21.70
and God never
stopped pursuing our son.
00:42:21.74\00:42:23.64
And so we as parents
stand in behalf of our son,
00:42:23.67\00:42:26.98
praying for God's
intervention in his life.
00:42:27.01\00:42:29.51
And we do that with
all of our children.
00:42:29.54\00:42:31.48
We're doing that
with our grandchildren.
00:42:31.51\00:42:33.15
And that's the type of
praying that we need to do.
00:42:33.18\00:42:36.28
God is there.
00:42:36.32\00:42:37.65
And we've seen some
incredible situations
00:42:37.69\00:42:41.42
our son has come through
that God has spared his life
00:42:41.46\00:42:44.46
because God wasn't done with him
00:42:44.49\00:42:45.83
and God is
pursuing every one of us.
00:42:45.86\00:42:47.86
So let's not, you know,
00:42:47.90\00:42:49.23
step back and be afraid of that.
00:42:49.26\00:42:50.93
He's pursuing us
because He loves us.
00:42:50.97\00:42:52.90
And He is pursing
those who have been
00:42:52.93\00:42:54.27
in the church for 50 years
00:42:54.30\00:42:55.90
because He wants to get
us beyond just mental thing,
00:42:55.94\00:43:01.14
beyond that kind of belief into,
00:43:01.18\00:43:04.05
you know, I always say,
00:43:04.08\00:43:05.45
"Believing in Christ is
to be living in Christ."
00:43:05.48\00:43:09.55
That's right.
00:43:09.58\00:43:10.92
So we've got to get beyond that.
00:43:10.95\00:43:12.29
You know, it's
kind of a one thing
00:43:12.32\00:43:13.96
that I keep, I
love what you're saying,
00:43:13.99\00:43:17.33
but what are these bottles here?
00:43:17.36\00:43:21.00
I mean, you would think that
00:43:21.03\00:43:23.97
they'd be the same
color anyway, but...
00:43:24.00\00:43:27.34
So this is part of
our lifestyle brand,
00:43:27.37\00:43:28.70
live restored.
00:43:28.74\00:43:30.07
Really?
00:43:30.11\00:43:31.44
So the ministry is
Restoration International.
00:43:31.47\00:43:33.04
The desires that God
wants us to live restored.
00:43:33.07\00:43:35.48
Live restored.
00:43:35.51\00:43:36.85
That relationship that
we want to have in heaven
00:43:36.88\00:43:38.91
has to begin here on earth.
00:43:38.95\00:43:41.02
And so, this is just a reminder
we can live restored in God.
00:43:41.05\00:43:44.32
And, of course, it's
filled with the water, right?
00:43:44.35\00:43:46.35
The living water. Amen.
00:43:46.39\00:43:48.06
So we have, we actually,
00:43:48.09\00:43:50.46
if people go to the website
and you'll be shown that later.
00:43:50.49\00:43:53.60
If you go to the
website, you can,
00:43:53.63\00:43:55.23
we have a lifestyle brand.
00:43:55.26\00:43:57.10
We've got a place that
00:43:57.13\00:43:58.47
there's various
different products
00:43:58.50\00:44:00.10
t-shirts and different things.
00:44:00.14\00:44:01.80
I think we got a
picture of the t-shirt
00:44:01.84\00:44:03.27
and we'll just go through that.
00:44:03.30\00:44:04.64
I think, what do we?
00:44:04.67\00:44:06.01
A couple more
pictures we want to go through.
00:44:06.04\00:44:07.38
Yeah.
00:44:07.41\00:44:08.74
I think there's the
live restored t-shirt.
00:44:08.78\00:44:10.11
All right. It's
just a nice reminder.
00:44:10.15\00:44:11.55
And who is this couple?
00:44:11.58\00:44:12.91
This is one of
our retreat couples,
00:44:12.95\00:44:14.45
the Carriers, they're
Indiana family retreat
00:44:14.48\00:44:16.15
for the host.
00:44:16.18\00:44:17.52
They're the host family.
And they volunteer to do this.
00:44:17.55\00:44:19.72
Absolutely.
00:44:19.75\00:44:21.09
So they came to
your retreats, saw it.
00:44:21.12\00:44:23.63
Yes.
00:44:23.66\00:44:24.99
And when they had
little ones and now they're,
00:44:25.03\00:44:27.96
their young people are
in their double digits,
00:44:28.00\00:44:29.83
they're teenagers and they just,
00:44:29.86\00:44:32.33
they have just been
a tremendous blessing.
00:44:32.37\00:44:34.50
All through the
years God has blessed us
00:44:34.54\00:44:36.67
with people who
have the same passion,
00:44:36.71\00:44:39.47
caught the vision,
started the journey
00:44:39.51\00:44:41.88
and they step up,
what can we do to help?
00:44:41.91\00:44:44.51
But see, this is what I
like about what you do at
00:44:44.55\00:44:46.65
Restoration International
is it's not just theory.
00:44:46.68\00:44:51.45
Its people have
walked through the experience
00:44:51.49\00:44:55.96
so they can get up
and be transparent,
00:44:55.99\00:44:59.69
be vulnerable because you know
none of us are any different.
00:44:59.73\00:45:04.17
God has to work with
each one of us the same way.
00:45:04.20\00:45:08.30
We're not just
00:45:08.34\00:45:09.67
because you're on
television or you lead this,
00:45:09.70\00:45:12.31
you know, as you said,
00:45:12.34\00:45:13.68
you're still learning,
well, I'm still learning.
00:45:13.71\00:45:16.41
And I would
imagine that probably
00:45:16.44\00:45:19.11
all that have a good,
00:45:19.15\00:45:20.48
good seed was sown
early in their life.
00:45:20.52\00:45:22.75
I imagine that they're sitting
because of the condemnation
00:45:22.78\00:45:25.39
that they're feeling, I
want to get out of this.
00:45:25.42\00:45:30.66
And so it takes six hours,
00:45:30.69\00:45:32.19
eight hours, the
rest of your life,
00:45:32.23\00:45:34.33
you know, you've got
your hand extended down to him
00:45:34.36\00:45:36.80
and he's got his
extended up to you.
00:45:36.83\00:45:38.80
And so that's,
00:45:38.83\00:45:40.94
this is what I'm
seeing right here
00:45:40.97\00:45:42.54
with these team host.
00:45:42.57\00:45:46.11
So they're part of the program
00:45:46.14\00:45:50.21
and that they've been
healed in some way or the other.
00:45:50.25\00:45:53.82
And because
whenever I was young,
00:45:53.85\00:45:56.38
we used to always say
00:45:56.42\00:45:57.75
I was vaccinated and it
took, this goes way back then.
00:45:57.79\00:46:01.82
I don't even, forgive me
for even bringing that up.
00:46:01.86\00:46:04.99
That's a hot topic.
00:46:05.03\00:46:06.36
And I was thinking about
something in a subtle way.
00:46:06.39\00:46:08.26
But anyway, there is,
00:46:08.30\00:46:11.23
we all want to be
vaccinated with Jesus Christ.
00:46:11.27\00:46:15.10
Some take and some
doesn't take, okay.
00:46:15.14\00:46:18.21
And it's not on His
part. It's not on His part.
00:46:18.24\00:46:20.51
It just may mean that
you need to be revaccinated.
00:46:20.54\00:46:22.74
Okay.
00:46:22.78\00:46:24.11
Well, the amazing
thing is we have people come
00:46:24.15\00:46:26.15
who have no background
in Christianity at all.
00:46:26.18\00:46:29.85
Absolutely.
00:46:29.88\00:46:31.22
But just like 3ABN
ministers to people,
00:46:31.25\00:46:33.25
people find that channel, right?
00:46:33.29\00:46:35.32
And they hear
something that draws them.
00:46:35.36\00:46:37.73
People hear
something in the podcast
00:46:37.76\00:46:40.26
that we do that draw them,
unbroken podcast on marriage.
00:46:40.30\00:46:44.90
And they then start tuning in
and they then learn about Jesus
00:46:44.93\00:46:50.04
because He's the
central figure of our ministry.
00:46:50.07\00:46:52.61
He is the
foundation of this ministry.
00:46:52.64\00:46:55.38
And so...
00:46:55.41\00:46:56.75
Building a house on
the rocks. That's right.
00:46:56.78\00:46:58.18
It doesn't matter
where we've come from.
00:46:58.21\00:47:00.62
We all have a Redeemer
00:47:00.65\00:47:02.18
who wants to get us
to our eternal home.
00:47:02.22\00:47:04.89
He says, "I will
that none should be lost,
00:47:04.92\00:47:07.79
but that all may come
and have eternal life."
00:47:07.82\00:47:09.26
All right.
00:47:09.29\00:47:10.63
So the podcast is
unbroken, and how do they?
00:47:10.66\00:47:14.30
Yeah, can we talk about that?
00:47:14.33\00:47:15.66
Sure, please. Yeah.
00:47:15.70\00:47:17.03
The podcast for those of
you out there that don't know,
00:47:17.07\00:47:19.67
we have the unbroken podcast,
00:47:19.70\00:47:21.20
it's there on the screen
right now, and that was...
00:47:21.24\00:47:24.24
Can they sign up,
tell them quickly?
00:47:24.27\00:47:25.61
So that, that podcast,
you can go to our website.
00:47:25.64\00:47:29.24
It's there.
00:47:29.28\00:47:30.61
You can download
any of the episodes.
00:47:30.65\00:47:31.98
We're in season three right now.
00:47:32.01\00:47:33.95
So they can go to the
website if they've got internet,
00:47:33.98\00:47:37.02
it's rionline.org.
00:47:37.05\00:47:40.16
Ri... Online.
00:47:40.19\00:47:42.19
And RI stands for Restoration
International, online.org.
00:47:42.22\00:47:47.13
And they can go there
00:47:47.16\00:47:48.50
and they can click
on any of the podcasts.
00:47:48.53\00:47:49.86
This is season three.
00:47:49.90\00:47:51.83
And if they like to
get it on their phones,
00:47:51.87\00:47:54.20
that we've got it
there for you can load it on
00:47:54.24\00:47:56.97
an Android or
on an Apple device.
00:47:57.01\00:47:59.87
It's just any way
they want to listen to it.
00:47:59.91\00:48:01.34
The nice thing about
podcast is that as you know,
00:48:01.38\00:48:03.71
if you listen to podcast,
00:48:03.75\00:48:05.08
you can listen to
it anytime you want to,
00:48:05.11\00:48:06.58
anywhere you are, you
can just start playing it.
00:48:06.61\00:48:09.08
But that podcast
has grown incredibly.
00:48:09.12\00:48:13.42
This is something
we never expected.
00:48:13.46\00:48:15.66
Actually, our son Josiah
00:48:15.69\00:48:17.16
encouraged us to do the podcast.
00:48:17.19\00:48:19.16
And I almost
said, what is a podcast?
00:48:19.19\00:48:22.56
But I did know
what a podcast was,
00:48:22.60\00:48:23.93
but I'd never heard a podcast.
00:48:23.97\00:48:25.40
He said you need
to have a podcast.
00:48:25.43\00:48:28.47
You'll have more
than 5,000 listeners
00:48:28.50\00:48:30.71
by the end of the first year.
00:48:30.74\00:48:32.07
I said, Josiah,
we're a little ministry.
00:48:32.11\00:48:34.61
Okay.
00:48:34.64\00:48:35.98
We're over 30,000 now, 35,000
00:48:36.01\00:48:40.25
that's just God, that's God.
00:48:40.28\00:48:42.58
And because it's practical.
00:48:42.62\00:48:44.55
It's dealing with
real issues in marriage.
00:48:44.59\00:48:47.06
We have guest
couples come on there.
00:48:47.09\00:48:48.59
Sharing their story.
00:48:48.62\00:48:49.96
Sharing their
incredible experiences.
00:48:49.99\00:48:51.63
Everything from
addictions to gambling,
00:48:51.66\00:48:55.53
other, you know, drug addictions
00:48:55.56\00:48:57.53
to infidelity in marriage to,
00:48:57.57\00:49:00.20
they don't have
all those big issues,
00:49:00.24\00:49:01.57
but they have other issues.
00:49:01.60\00:49:03.07
So there's just a vast array.
00:49:03.10\00:49:04.84
And what we've
found is that most people,
00:49:04.87\00:49:06.54
when they come in,
00:49:06.57\00:49:07.91
because the podcasts
are 15 to 18 minutes,
00:49:07.94\00:49:09.91
roughly each one.
00:49:09.94\00:49:11.61
Most of the people
who come on to listen,
00:49:11.65\00:49:14.12
they're on, they're listening
for 45 minutes to an hour,
00:49:14.15\00:49:16.99
which means that they hear
one and they want to go back
00:49:17.02\00:49:19.55
and pick the
rest of the story up.
00:49:19.59\00:49:21.02
Or some people just hear this
and go back to the beginning.
00:49:21.06\00:49:23.46
And they're going
through all of these.
00:49:23.49\00:49:24.83
Praise God. Yeah. It's amazing
00:49:24.86\00:49:26.19
All right.
00:49:26.23\00:49:27.56
Real quickly,
because we're going
00:49:27.60\00:49:28.93
to have to take, go
to a news break here.
00:49:28.96\00:49:30.53
But you have marriage counseling
00:49:30.57\00:49:33.23
that people can contact you
for just marriage counseling.
00:49:33.27\00:49:37.27
You speak in churches,
you have your marriage.
00:49:37.31\00:49:40.44
How often is your
marriage retreats?
00:49:40.48\00:49:42.91
We do one a year.
That's in February.
00:49:42.94\00:49:44.58
One a year.
00:49:44.61\00:49:45.95
And your family retreats?
We have four every year.
00:49:45.98\00:49:48.75
Four every year
in different areas,
00:49:48.78\00:49:51.05
so that people can come
and all of this information
00:49:51.09\00:49:55.56
is available as
well as life restored.
00:49:55.59\00:49:59.89
If you want some of the...
00:49:59.93\00:50:02.90
Yeah, life restored is. Yeah.
00:50:02.93\00:50:04.87
It's a t-shirt that
says that, but you can find
00:50:04.90\00:50:09.77
all of this on their website
00:50:09.80\00:50:12.34
rionline.org.
00:50:12.37\00:50:17.38
But let me go ahead.
00:50:17.41\00:50:18.75
We are going to put up
an address roll for you.
00:50:18.78\00:50:22.95
So you know how to get
in touch with Tom and Alane.
00:50:22.98\00:50:26.45
And then we're
going to come back
00:50:26.49\00:50:28.42
for a final thought
after our new break.
00:50:28.46\00:50:30.73
So don't go away.
00:50:30.76\00:50:32.23
If you would like to contact
00:50:37.07\00:50:38.40
or know more about
Restoration International,
00:50:38.43\00:50:41.27
you can contact
them at (928) 821-6315.
00:50:41.30\00:50:46.78
That's (928) 821-6315.
00:50:46.81\00:50:51.21
You can write to
them at PO Box 145,
00:50:51.25\00:50:54.48
Seligman, Arizona 86337.
00:50:54.52\00:50:58.25
You can visit their
website at rionline.org.
00:50:58.29\00:51:02.46
That's rionline.org.
00:51:02.49\00:51:06.19
You can also email
them at office@rionline.org.
00:51:06.23\00:51:11.53
That's office@rionline.org.
00:51:11.57\00:51:16.00