I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Removing pain
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Lord, let my words
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Heal a heart that hurts
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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Hello and welcome to
another 3ABN Today program.
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I'm Jason Bradley
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and I'm so glad
that you could join us.
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We are going to
be discussing a topic
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that is sensitive in nature.
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So viewer discretion
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and listener
discretion is advised.
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And if you're a parent
and you have young children,
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we suggest that you
watch this program first
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and then
determine whether or not
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it's appropriate to
share with your young children.
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We will be talking about
pornography and addiction
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and, and deliverance
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because we want to focus too
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on the deliverance
aspect of the journey.
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Here with me to share on
this very important topic
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is Michael Carducci,
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co-founder of
'Coming Out' Ministries.
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Great to have you,
Mike. Thank you, Jason.
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May call you Mike?
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Of course. All right.
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We have Kezia Chisholm.
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She is the associate,
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one of the associate speakers
of 'Coming Out' Ministries.
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And then we have Harrison Umana,
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who is also an associate speaker
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of 'Coming Out' Ministries.
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Welcome, guys.
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Thank you. Thank you so much.
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Yes.
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Now, Kezia, you've
been on when we were at,
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I think it was, was it ASI?
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GYC. GYC, yes.
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GYC.
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And we talked to you briefly.
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So I'm looking forward
to jumping into your story
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a little bit deeper as well.
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And, Mike,
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I know that you have
a powerful testimony.
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I'm excited to
hear more about that.
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And, Harrison,
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this is your first time
on 3ABN on the Today program.
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So I'm excited to dive
into your journey as well.
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But before we do,
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we're going to be
blessed in a song by ET Everett,
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she'll be playing
"Open the Eyes of My Heart".
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Wow.
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God has blessed ET
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with a
tremendous gift on the keys.
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Mike, now, I've known
you for a little while,
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and I was really
moved by your testimony.
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And I just want you
to go into your journey,
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and also talk about
'Coming Out' Ministries
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and the relevance of
it in today's society.
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Okay.
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My story started,
actually, I would say,
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at 40 years old,
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when I came back
into the church culture
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and after living as a
homosexual for 20 years.
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The questions
that I had for Jesus
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was just two
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and I said, "I want to know
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why I was a girl
trapped in a boy's body."
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That was my first
conscious thought,
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at like four years old.
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And then I wanted to know
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why I ended up
same sex attracted,
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and those were
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the only two
questions that I had.
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And the church
couldn't answer those questions
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when I left the church at 20.
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But then coming back
into the church at 40,
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nobody had the
answers for that, either.
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So in this journey of
spending this time with God,
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and not only through science,
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but also through the Bible,
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through different
sermons that I was hearing,
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the Lord was really answering
those questions for me.
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And I didn't realize
that there was this thing
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called defensive detachment
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that actually
happened between my dad and I,
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even before I was conscious.
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And what that means
is that every little boy,
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they have to
make this transition
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from the mother to the father,
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and all of that is just
healthy gender stamping.
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And so a child
doesn't have any kind of idea
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that they're male or female,
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until they get between
the ages of one and three.
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So during that time,
my dad was in the Navy
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and he'd be gone
six months at a time,
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which to someone like me
that was almost half my life.
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So I was always with my mom.
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I had three sisters.
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So I didn't have
another example of masculinity.
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But then when my dad was
home, my dad was abusive.
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He was loud and yelling a
lot and so for this little kid,
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for this little boy
trying to make this transition
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over to my gender identity,
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he either wasn't available,
or he was frightening.
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And so I didn't
want that at all.
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I totally rejected that.
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But this is called
defensive detachment,
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meaning that in my defense,
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I detached from my
father as my role model.
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So the only example
left for me was my mom.
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So she was soft and warm,
and kind and so I thought,
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all right,
that's who I want to be.
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But that wasn't a
conscious decision.
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So then at age four years old,
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then the idea was like,
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you know, I'm a girl
trapped in a boy's body.
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I started to realize
00:10:29.42\00:10:30.76
that my sisters weren't like me,
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but I wasn't like the boys
in the neighborhood either.
00:10:32.93\00:10:35.50
So as I was
patterning after my mom,
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I liked playing with dolls,
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I liked dressing
up in our clothes,
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you know, I could tell
that there was something wrong,
00:10:41.34\00:10:43.81
but I didn't know how to fix it.
00:10:43.84\00:10:45.17
I thought that my
body had to change,
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not my mind,
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because there was no way
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that I was even
in control of that.
00:10:49.81\00:10:51.15
So imagine the depression
of a little kid growing up
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knowing that you
just don't fit in.
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And I would actually fantasize.
00:10:55.32\00:10:56.72
I would think to
myself, "If I just had a twin,
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if I had a twin brother,
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then I'd be able to look at him
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and then I
would know who I was."
00:11:02.22\00:11:04.19
Do see how disconnected I
was even with my own identity.
00:11:04.23\00:11:06.26
Yeah, yeah.
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So as I was growing up,
00:11:07.66\00:11:09.50
the kids in school
saw my feminine mannerisms
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and they would call me sissy,
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queer little girl
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and what that did is
that pushed away the one thing
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that I was desperate for,
00:11:16.81\00:11:18.14
not knowing that I needed that
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but I was desperate
for masculine affirmation.
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I was desperate for,
you know, someone to say,
00:11:21.84\00:11:24.08
"You're okay as you are,
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you're, you know, you are a guy,
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your biology says who you are
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and it's innate
and it's immutable,
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it doesn't change."
00:11:30.85\00:11:32.19
And so I was looking
for that affirmation.
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So because I didn't get it,
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because it became
more elusive to me,
00:11:35.46\00:11:37.96
and then I decided that,
00:11:37.99\00:11:39.63
you know, I definitely
needed to have a sex change.
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This followed me
until I was 20 years old.
00:11:42.70\00:11:44.97
And I remember
looking at pornography
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and thinking to myself,
00:11:48.00\00:11:49.34
well, if men desire these women,
00:11:49.37\00:11:52.21
and these women are beautiful,
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then if I was a woman
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then maybe men
would love me too.
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The problem was I needed
male affirmation in love,
00:11:57.65\00:12:00.25
I needed the assurance
to know that I was loved
00:12:00.28\00:12:03.12
and okay as I was,
00:12:03.15\00:12:04.95
because that was
missing from my father.
00:12:04.99\00:12:06.76
So that became
sexualized at puberty.
00:12:06.79\00:12:09.79
When puberty came,
00:12:09.82\00:12:11.16
I remember
00:12:11.19\00:12:12.53
I actually got a book
from the library at school
00:12:12.56\00:12:14.96
and brought it home
00:12:15.00\00:12:16.33
and self taught
myself masturbation
00:12:16.36\00:12:17.77
and I knew
00:12:17.80\00:12:19.13
that there was
something wrong about it.
00:12:19.17\00:12:21.10
You know, I couldn't
share that with anyone but yet,
00:12:21.14\00:12:24.01
it was in a very chaotic world,
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something that I found
to be very dependent on.
00:12:26.01\00:12:28.41
My parents were
divorced when I was 10.
00:12:28.44\00:12:30.48
So at 13
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we were living in a
low income housing project
00:12:31.88\00:12:33.62
in Detroit,
00:12:33.65\00:12:34.98
I was less than 100 pounds,
00:12:35.02\00:12:36.45
and this very mixed school
00:12:36.48\00:12:38.65
and so if I didn't
get beat up at school,
00:12:38.69\00:12:40.89
I got beat up by
my sister at home
00:12:40.92\00:12:43.06
and so 10
minutes in the bathroom,
00:12:43.09\00:12:45.13
several times a
day was really, to me,
00:12:45.16\00:12:47.23
the only relief
00:12:47.26\00:12:48.60
of a really
desperate and lonely,
00:12:48.63\00:12:50.60
you know, life
that I was living,
00:12:50.63\00:12:52.30
not realizing the stronghold
00:12:52.33\00:12:54.64
that this was going to create
00:12:54.67\00:12:56.34
in me or on me
until even as an adult.
00:12:56.37\00:12:59.91
But to the
transgender situation,
00:12:59.94\00:13:02.64
that when I came
out into gay culture
00:13:02.68\00:13:04.21
at 20 years old,
00:13:04.25\00:13:05.58
because I
couldn't get my religion
00:13:05.61\00:13:06.95
and my sexuality
to come together,
00:13:06.98\00:13:08.75
they have laws now
00:13:08.78\00:13:10.12
that will
protect children like me,
00:13:10.15\00:13:11.72
that if I came forward
at eight years old and said,
00:13:11.75\00:13:14.06
"You know, I'm a girl
trapped in a boy's body,"
00:13:14.09\00:13:16.32
the government now can step in
00:13:16.36\00:13:17.73
against the will of the parents
00:13:17.76\00:13:19.09
and start giving
their children hormones
00:13:19.13\00:13:20.90
that will not only
block the puberty process,
00:13:20.93\00:13:23.33
but help them to transition
to be the sex that they desire.
00:13:23.37\00:13:26.60
Wait a minute,
at eight years old?
00:13:26.63\00:13:29.24
Like as a child
that would come forward.
00:13:29.27\00:13:30.61
Wow.
00:13:30.64\00:13:31.97
Yes, absolutely.
00:13:32.01\00:13:33.34
And you know, something,
I was desperate for that,
00:13:33.38\00:13:34.71
that at eight years
old, if that was available,
00:13:34.74\00:13:36.28
when I was a kid,
00:13:36.31\00:13:37.65
I would have been first in line,
00:13:37.68\00:13:39.01
I would have been
that one kid there.
00:13:39.05\00:13:40.75
But here's what happened.
00:13:40.78\00:13:42.92
As I became 20 years old,
and turned my back on God,
00:13:42.95\00:13:45.92
because I really
thought that the only way
00:13:45.95\00:13:47.56
that God would accept me
00:13:47.59\00:13:48.92
is if I had a sex change,
00:13:48.96\00:13:50.29
because, you know,
00:13:50.33\00:13:51.66
that would help me to transition
00:13:51.69\00:13:53.03
to be the sex that I
desired that I thought I was,
00:13:53.06\00:13:55.23
but then my same sex
attraction would be changed
00:13:55.26\00:13:58.17
because if I had a sex change,
00:13:58.20\00:14:00.00
then my attraction to men
would be acceptable to God.
00:14:00.04\00:14:03.41
And this was all
messed up in my head
00:14:03.44\00:14:04.91
because it all got
kind of twisted around
00:14:04.94\00:14:07.61
even before I was conscious.
00:14:07.64\00:14:09.44
So at 21, I came out
into the gay culture,
00:14:09.48\00:14:11.91
I realized that,
00:14:11.95\00:14:13.28
"Oh, masculinity
is much more desirable
00:14:13.31\00:14:15.65
than femininity."
00:14:15.68\00:14:17.02
So I realized
00:14:17.05\00:14:18.39
that if I botched
it up a little bit
00:14:18.42\00:14:19.75
and worked out in the gym
00:14:19.79\00:14:21.12
that I got the attention
from men that I desired,
00:14:21.16\00:14:22.82
and I never struggled
again with gender identity.
00:14:22.86\00:14:25.63
But if you stop
and think about it now,
00:14:25.66\00:14:28.30
kids as young as 16 years
old are having sex changes.
00:14:28.33\00:14:31.77
And you know,
we're giving children
00:14:31.80\00:14:34.14
the ability to take
charge of their gender identity,
00:14:34.17\00:14:36.91
even when they can't even decide
00:14:36.94\00:14:38.27
on their favorite color,
00:14:38.31\00:14:39.64
their minds aren't
mature enough to know,
00:14:39.67\00:14:41.14
you know, what they
really want or whatever.
00:14:41.18\00:14:43.45
And so, when you allow a child
to change their sex at 16...
00:14:43.48\00:14:47.28
Mm-hmm.
00:14:47.32\00:14:48.65
What would have happened
to me if all of a sudden at 20
00:14:48.68\00:14:50.19
I realized that
I've made a huge mistake?
00:14:50.22\00:14:51.72
Yeah.
00:14:51.75\00:14:53.09
You know, this is
shocking to me to think
00:14:53.12\00:14:54.72
that we would allow children
to make these huge decisions
00:14:54.76\00:14:58.63
and it doesn't change your sex.
00:14:58.66\00:15:00.33
It mutilates your body,
00:15:00.36\00:15:01.70
you might appear to
be the opposite sex,
00:15:01.73\00:15:03.97
but it doesn't change your DNA.
00:15:04.00\00:15:05.33
Your DNA is immutable
00:15:05.37\00:15:07.30
and it says exactly who you are,
00:15:07.34\00:15:09.27
regardless.
00:15:09.30\00:15:10.64
I'm glad that you
brought that point up,
00:15:10.67\00:15:12.04
because that's the
opposite of what's being taught.
00:15:12.07\00:15:14.81
You know, that is
the complete opposite.
00:15:14.84\00:15:16.44
So I'm glad that you said that.
00:15:16.48\00:15:18.01
A quick story,
00:15:18.05\00:15:19.38
there was a little boy
that came to his mother
00:15:19.41\00:15:20.92
at eight years old and
said that he was a girl.
00:15:20.95\00:15:22.95
She started the hormone therapy,
00:15:22.98\00:15:24.72
he developed natural breasts,
00:15:24.75\00:15:26.19
his voice didn't drop,
his face started to change
00:15:26.22\00:15:29.22
and become more female.
00:15:29.26\00:15:30.93
And so then at 13 years old,
00:15:30.96\00:15:32.36
he realized that
this was not who he was
00:15:32.39\00:15:34.90
and he went to his mom,
and he said, "Wait a minute,
00:15:34.93\00:15:36.63
I'm not a girl, I'm a boy."
00:15:36.67\00:15:38.73
And so mom, of
course, was shocked.
00:15:38.77\00:15:40.74
But they stopped
all the hormone therapy,
00:15:40.77\00:15:42.27
but he still had
these natural breasts,
00:15:42.30\00:15:44.07
and they had to be
surgically removed.
00:15:44.11\00:15:46.21
He has to go to a voice
coach now to actually help him
00:15:46.24\00:15:48.78
to lower his voice,
00:15:48.81\00:15:50.15
because of what
the hormones all did,
00:15:50.18\00:15:51.51
all because we
allow eight-year-old kids
00:15:51.55\00:15:54.35
to determine what their sex is.
00:15:54.38\00:15:55.92
Wow. Wow.
00:15:55.95\00:15:57.72
So continuing in your journey,
00:15:57.75\00:16:00.66
where did you and how did you
come out of that, that culture?
00:16:00.69\00:16:06.33
And where did you go to
start 'Coming Out' Ministries.
00:16:06.36\00:16:11.67
Okay.
00:16:11.70\00:16:13.03
That's kind of a
loaded, a loaded question.
00:16:13.07\00:16:14.40
It's all right, I can do it.
00:16:14.44\00:16:15.77
I can do it.
00:16:15.80\00:16:17.14
So 20 years living
in the gay culture,
00:16:17.17\00:16:20.48
at least I finally found
00:16:20.51\00:16:21.94
what I thought
I was looking for.
00:16:21.98\00:16:23.31
It was embracing
who I thought I was.
00:16:23.35\00:16:25.25
I bought into the whole
idea that I was born this way,
00:16:25.28\00:16:28.12
you know, was it
nature or nurture?
00:16:28.15\00:16:29.48
I think for me,
it was a combination.
00:16:29.52\00:16:31.35
So I didn't realize it,
00:16:31.39\00:16:33.25
but I'd become a sexual addict
00:16:33.29\00:16:34.69
within just a few short months.
00:16:34.72\00:16:36.62
And I think that
the LGBT community
00:16:36.66\00:16:39.76
really take
advantage of the naivete
00:16:39.79\00:16:41.96
of the Christian community
00:16:42.00\00:16:43.33
because they promote this idea
that homosexual relationships
00:16:43.37\00:16:46.33
are the same as
heterosexual relationships,
00:16:46.37\00:16:48.60
but I can affirm to
you that that's not true.
00:16:48.64\00:16:50.81
But after spending 20
years in that culture,
00:16:50.84\00:16:53.01
unfaithful in the five
significant relationships
00:16:53.04\00:16:56.01
that I had within that time,
00:16:56.04\00:16:58.35
I was at the end of my ropes.
00:16:58.38\00:16:59.71
I knew that I was toying
with this thing called AIDS
00:16:59.75\00:17:03.25
which was out of control.
00:17:03.28\00:17:05.09
And I came out
the very same year
00:17:05.12\00:17:06.45
that AIDS came out
00:17:06.49\00:17:07.82
and I had
unprotected sex with men
00:17:07.86\00:17:09.42
that would be dead
three months later.
00:17:09.46\00:17:10.79
And yet that
wasn't enough to stop me.
00:17:10.83\00:17:12.63
My addiction to
pornography back in 1997,
00:17:12.66\00:17:15.63
when I got my first computer,
00:17:15.66\00:17:17.17
I'd be up until like, two,
three o'clock in the morning,
00:17:17.20\00:17:20.24
looking at porn,
going into chat rooms,
00:17:20.27\00:17:22.17
lining up these
elicit situations,
00:17:22.20\00:17:25.01
and my behavior was
absolutely out of control.
00:17:25.04\00:17:28.01
So because I had three
sisters praying for me,
00:17:28.04\00:17:31.15
and that was, that's the part,
00:17:31.18\00:17:32.75
because you know what,
00:17:32.78\00:17:34.12
if they weren't praying
for me, I wouldn't be here.
00:17:34.15\00:17:35.92
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I'd be in the grave.
00:17:35.95\00:17:37.29
But because
somebody was praying for me,
00:17:37.32\00:17:38.82
and they didn't accept the
ideology that homosexuality
00:17:38.85\00:17:42.16
was a blessing from God
00:17:42.19\00:17:43.53
or that this
was a gift from God,
00:17:43.56\00:17:44.89
or that it was immutable,
00:17:44.93\00:17:46.26
they were just praying for me
00:17:46.29\00:17:47.63
because they knew
I was out of control.
00:17:47.66\00:17:49.56
I wasn't praying for myself
because I wanted nothing to do
00:17:49.60\00:17:52.33
with a God that I thought
wanted nothing to do with me.
00:17:52.37\00:17:55.00
But you know what?
00:17:55.04\00:17:56.37
The Lord heard those prayers.
00:17:56.40\00:17:57.74
And when the time was
right, I was 40 years old,
00:17:57.77\00:18:00.38
I was in the best
relationship I'd ever been in,
00:18:00.41\00:18:02.51
a rich, rich guy
with big blue eyes
00:18:02.54\00:18:04.61
and big arms and
he was a millionaire,
00:18:04.65\00:18:06.41
and we both had
convertible Mercedes,
00:18:06.45\00:18:08.42
I was a
hairdresser to the stars,
00:18:08.45\00:18:10.52
I just had everything
00:18:10.55\00:18:11.89
that the world
said was valuable.
00:18:11.92\00:18:13.46
But at that time
00:18:13.49\00:18:14.82
when the Lord really
pulled me out of all of that,
00:18:14.86\00:18:18.49
well, it was kind of a process
00:18:18.53\00:18:20.03
because He didn't
just pluck me out.
00:18:20.06\00:18:21.70
It was a process
00:18:21.73\00:18:23.06
when I accepted
Jesus as my Savior
00:18:23.10\00:18:24.43
at this evangelistic series
00:18:24.47\00:18:26.10
that my sister invited me to,
00:18:26.13\00:18:27.77
I still had a boyfriend
and a sexual addiction.
00:18:27.80\00:18:30.17
But in that process,
the Lord was patient with me
00:18:30.21\00:18:33.17
and long suffering with me
00:18:33.21\00:18:34.54
because I was
trying to prove to Him
00:18:34.58\00:18:35.91
that if He would
just baptize my boyfriend,
00:18:35.94\00:18:37.91
that we would be
this mighty team for Him.
00:18:37.95\00:18:40.18
So of course, you know,
God was working with me.
00:18:40.22\00:18:42.95
And in that process,
00:18:42.98\00:18:44.32
as I started to
read the word of God,
00:18:44.35\00:18:45.79
God did not condemn the person
that had same sex attraction
00:18:45.82\00:18:49.49
or that person that felt
like they were in the wrong sex.
00:18:49.52\00:18:52.09
He condemns the behavior,
00:18:52.13\00:18:53.63
because every time that
my aunt would tease my hair
00:18:53.66\00:18:56.26
as a little boy in the bathroom,
00:18:56.30\00:18:57.93
it gave me this
immense feeling like, "Wow,
00:18:57.97\00:18:59.83
I could actually be
convincing as a girl,"
00:18:59.87\00:19:02.34
and then living in that life.
00:19:02.37\00:19:03.87
The more that I
was participating
00:19:03.91\00:19:05.67
in same sex behavior,
00:19:05.71\00:19:07.58
what it did is it
detached me from God
00:19:07.61\00:19:09.84
that I thought,
00:19:09.88\00:19:11.21
you know, cared
about me into this idea
00:19:11.25\00:19:13.55
that now I was worshiping
the idols of sexuality
00:19:13.58\00:19:17.69
and the labels and
that was my whole focus.
00:19:17.72\00:19:20.82
So, God didn't condemn me
because I was transgendered
00:19:20.86\00:19:24.26
and same sex attracted.
00:19:24.29\00:19:26.19
He was condemning the
behavior because it drew me
00:19:26.23\00:19:28.63
further and further away
from a God that I could love
00:19:28.66\00:19:31.80
and interact with intimately.
00:19:31.83\00:19:34.10
And I'm so glad that
you made that distinction
00:19:34.14\00:19:36.27
because, you know,
God loves everyone.
00:19:36.30\00:19:38.91
Oh, yes. And He
wants to save everyone.
00:19:38.94\00:19:41.71
But nowadays, when
you say anything about,
00:19:41.74\00:19:45.75
you know,
somebody being able to gain
00:19:45.78\00:19:47.62
the victory over...
00:19:47.65\00:19:49.28
That's hate
speech. The gay culture.
00:19:49.32\00:19:50.65
Exactly. That's hate speech.
00:19:50.69\00:19:52.02
It's deemed as hate speech,
00:19:52.05\00:19:53.89
but really, it's
a loving message.
00:19:53.92\00:19:55.32
Yeah. You know?
00:19:55.36\00:19:56.69
Well, love has to go with it.
00:19:56.73\00:19:58.06
And you know what,
00:19:58.09\00:19:59.43
we as Christians
have done a terrible job
00:19:59.46\00:20:00.80
of misrepresenting
that love of Christ.
00:20:00.83\00:20:02.16
That is true.
00:20:02.20\00:20:03.53
And it's
interesting because, you know,
00:20:03.57\00:20:04.90
what I heard
00:20:04.93\00:20:06.27
when I left the
church at 20 years old
00:20:06.30\00:20:07.64
was that God
hates people like me,
00:20:07.67\00:20:10.11
and that we were going to burn
00:20:10.14\00:20:11.47
in a hotter hell
than everybody else.
00:20:11.51\00:20:12.84
So why would I stay, you know?
00:20:12.87\00:20:14.74
Why would I stay in a religion
00:20:14.78\00:20:16.11
that just tells me
that I'm condemned.
00:20:16.14\00:20:17.68
So I walked out of there at 20.
00:20:17.71\00:20:19.41
So it was so
funny, because at 40
00:20:19.45\00:20:21.65
when I came
back into the church,
00:20:21.68\00:20:23.35
we completely went
the other side like,
00:20:23.39\00:20:25.25
first they said,
00:20:25.29\00:20:26.62
gays can't change
and God hates them.
00:20:26.65\00:20:27.99
Now we come
back into the church,
00:20:28.02\00:20:29.36
and people say,
00:20:29.39\00:20:30.73
"Oh, gays can't
change but now we love them
00:20:30.76\00:20:32.39
and that God loves them."
00:20:32.43\00:20:33.76
And here's the problem.
00:20:33.80\00:20:35.66
The message was
wrong both times.
00:20:35.70\00:20:37.53
You know that, did you
forget 1 Corinthians 6:11,
00:20:37.57\00:20:41.30
because it said
such were some of you,
00:20:41.34\00:20:43.41
but you've been washed
and you've been sanctified,
00:20:43.44\00:20:45.07
you've been cleansed
and those are the things
00:20:45.11\00:20:47.11
that I can't do for you.
00:20:47.14\00:20:48.48
You know,
'Coming Out' Ministries
00:20:48.51\00:20:49.84
isn't here to make
gay people straight.
00:20:49.88\00:20:51.88
You know, I could never do that.
00:20:51.91\00:20:53.85
But what God can do is
He can take your heart,
00:20:53.88\00:20:56.45
He can fill it in such
a way that He can draw you
00:20:56.48\00:20:59.15
out of those things
that have pulled you away
00:20:59.19\00:21:00.82
and identified you for so long.
00:21:00.86\00:21:02.92
And that's a message of love.
00:21:02.96\00:21:04.36
That's not a message of hate
00:21:04.39\00:21:05.73
to tell you to come out of that.
00:21:05.76\00:21:07.43
And you know, when
you take 1 Corinthians 6,
00:21:07.46\00:21:09.76
and you look at
all of the abominations
00:21:09.80\00:21:11.77
that, you know,
00:21:11.80\00:21:13.13
somehow the churches plucked out
00:21:13.17\00:21:14.50
homosexuality and
made that the crowning sin,
00:21:14.54\00:21:16.67
now guess what?
00:21:16.71\00:21:18.04
There's hope for you, Harrison,
there's hope for you, Kezia.
00:21:18.07\00:21:19.64
Right.
00:21:19.67\00:21:21.01
You know, and you too, Jason.
00:21:21.04\00:21:22.54
So now we all have the
promise that Revelation 18:4,
00:21:22.58\00:21:26.92
"Come out of her, my people,"
00:21:26.95\00:21:28.45
you know, I'm not
the only one to come out,
00:21:28.48\00:21:30.15
we're all coming out of sin.
00:21:30.19\00:21:32.35
You know, into
God's marvelous light.
00:21:32.39\00:21:34.12
That's not a message of hate.
00:21:34.16\00:21:35.86
It's totally a message of love.
00:21:35.89\00:21:37.53
And that's what
'Coming Out' Ministries
00:21:37.56\00:21:39.09
is all about sharing
that message of love...
00:21:39.13\00:21:41.23
Sounds so good
when you say that.
00:21:41.26\00:21:42.60
Sharing the fact that
you know you can gain victory
00:21:42.63\00:21:46.00
over sin through Christ Jesus.
00:21:46.03\00:21:48.37
Amen. Thank you.
00:21:48.40\00:21:49.94
And now, Kezia. Yes.
00:21:49.97\00:21:52.17
We have to jump
into your testimony.
00:21:52.21\00:21:54.51
Let's start with your childhood.
00:21:54.54\00:21:55.88
You're biracial
of course. Yes, I am.
00:21:55.91\00:21:57.68
So my mom's Filipino. And
then my father's Guyanese.
00:21:57.71\00:22:00.75
So automatically
from a young age,
00:22:00.78\00:22:02.18
I already knew that
there was something different
00:22:02.22\00:22:04.75
just for seeing how my mom
is being that she's the woman,
00:22:04.79\00:22:07.09
I'm the girl.
00:22:07.12\00:22:08.46
And just seeing her complexion,
00:22:08.49\00:22:09.82
her hair texture
was different from mine.
00:22:09.86\00:22:11.43
And then my dad,
he's from Guyana.
00:22:11.46\00:22:13.70
And so I related
a bit more with him
00:22:13.73\00:22:15.70
than my mom.
00:22:15.73\00:22:17.07
And so just from a young age,
00:22:17.10\00:22:18.43
I just always knew that
there was something different.
00:22:18.47\00:22:20.30
And eventually, over
time, this was by like,
00:22:20.34\00:22:23.27
kindergarten,
00:22:23.30\00:22:24.64
I ended up having my
first sexual encounter.
00:22:24.67\00:22:26.94
And this was at a public
school with another girl.
00:22:26.98\00:22:29.78
And so this already
started from such a young age.
00:22:29.81\00:22:32.75
And so from that, it
just kind of trickled down
00:22:32.78\00:22:35.18
to other things.
00:22:35.22\00:22:36.58
And I didn't really
think it was an issue,
00:22:36.62\00:22:38.69
because I wasn't
taught that, you know,
00:22:38.72\00:22:40.26
if someone touches you,
you should say something.
00:22:40.29\00:22:42.56
And so at home,
we were, you know,
00:22:42.59\00:22:44.39
kind of like a
normal family in a sense.
00:22:44.43\00:22:46.76
God wasn't really the
center of our household.
00:22:46.80\00:22:49.33
I came to know about
God through my grandparents.
00:22:49.36\00:22:52.60
Anytime I would visit
them, I always noticed,
00:22:52.63\00:22:55.04
you know, Friday nights,
they would turn off the TVs.
00:22:55.07\00:22:58.01
They would just have worship.
00:22:58.04\00:22:59.57
Saturdays going to church.
00:22:59.61\00:23:01.08
And so with them, I
noticed their calm demeanor.
00:23:01.11\00:23:03.88
And anytime I
would go back home,
00:23:03.91\00:23:05.48
I would notice things
were a little bit different.
00:23:05.51\00:23:07.38
And there was like a
lot of arguing going on.
00:23:07.42\00:23:09.48
And I, you know, I
thought this was a regular,
00:23:09.52\00:23:11.22
typical thing.
00:23:11.25\00:23:12.79
But it really wasn't
until when I turned 12,
00:23:12.82\00:23:15.32
that things really
went downhill from there
00:23:15.36\00:23:17.76
where my parents divorced,
00:23:17.79\00:23:19.96
you know, due to
certain, certain circumstances.
00:23:20.00\00:23:22.66
And so with my dad
leaving the home now,
00:23:22.70\00:23:24.83
I was just left
with, you know, my mom,
00:23:24.87\00:23:26.97
who I didn't look like.
00:23:27.00\00:23:28.34
I'm trying to figure
out, you know, "Who am I?"
00:23:28.37\00:23:30.37
Trying to figure
out my self identity.
00:23:30.41\00:23:32.47
And so with
having that struggle,
00:23:32.51\00:23:34.68
a lot of hatred
just started to build in
00:23:34.71\00:23:36.61
within my heart, a lot of anger.
00:23:36.64\00:23:38.45
And so with all that
anger that came about,
00:23:38.48\00:23:40.68
I just started to
look for a lot of things,
00:23:40.72\00:23:42.58
anything that could
really just numb the pain
00:23:42.62\00:23:44.45
I was feeling.
00:23:44.49\00:23:45.82
And so I just
became very promiscuous
00:23:45.85\00:23:47.76
with both guys and girls.
00:23:47.79\00:23:49.62
Just kind of
looking for love in any way
00:23:49.66\00:23:52.29
I could get it.
00:23:52.33\00:23:53.66
Even if it was wrong,
00:23:53.70\00:23:55.03
at least it was
some sort of love
00:23:55.06\00:23:56.77
that I was able to attain.
00:23:56.80\00:23:58.27
And so that I
also just turned to,
00:23:58.30\00:24:00.37
like smoking marijuana,
00:24:00.40\00:24:02.00
drinking, just
a lot of partying,
00:24:02.04\00:24:04.04
just having a lot of depression,
00:24:04.07\00:24:05.67
suicidal thoughts,
00:24:05.71\00:24:07.04
just anything to really
numb what I was feeling,
00:24:07.08\00:24:09.94
because I was just realizing
that I had a lot of anger.
00:24:09.98\00:24:12.65
You were really trying
to escape your reality.
00:24:12.68\00:24:14.48
Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
00:24:14.52\00:24:15.85
It was just
anything to just, you know,
00:24:15.88\00:24:17.92
get away from what
was going on at home.
00:24:17.95\00:24:20.36
Because I know at one
point for several years,
00:24:20.39\00:24:22.26
I really just wanted
both of my parents dead,
00:24:22.29\00:24:24.49
because of the level of anger.
00:24:24.53\00:24:26.29
Just knowing that, you know,
00:24:26.33\00:24:27.76
I understood that
they had their issues
00:24:27.80\00:24:30.10
but to see that now,
00:24:30.13\00:24:31.47
me as an only child
trying to figure out,
00:24:31.50\00:24:33.44
"How do I go about life?"
00:24:33.47\00:24:35.04
So my teenage years
was just really filled with
00:24:35.07\00:24:37.14
just a lot of self medicating,
00:24:37.17\00:24:39.94
just trying to figure out
00:24:39.97\00:24:41.31
how to go
through day to day basis.
00:24:41.34\00:24:42.98
And so it was just a
lot of buildup of things
00:24:43.01\00:24:45.21
just going back and forth.
00:24:45.25\00:24:47.82
So you continue to journey
down that downward spiral
00:24:47.85\00:24:52.95
and things were just
getting worse and worse,
00:24:52.99\00:24:54.62
would you say?
00:24:54.66\00:24:55.99
It was.
00:24:56.02\00:24:57.36
It really wasn't
until one time how,
00:24:57.39\00:24:59.33
it's really
amazing how God can meet us
00:24:59.36\00:25:00.96
where we are because
there was one evening,
00:25:01.00\00:25:03.53
I was just really stressed out
00:25:03.57\00:25:04.90
with some things
that were going on.
00:25:04.93\00:25:06.30
And so I figured, you know what,
00:25:06.33\00:25:07.67
I'll just smoke some
weed and just get my mind off
00:25:07.70\00:25:09.44
of what was going on.
00:25:09.47\00:25:11.01
And so I called up a friend
and the plan was for just him
00:25:11.04\00:25:14.28
and I just to smoke.
00:25:14.31\00:25:15.74
But unfortunately,
because we were both high,
00:25:15.78\00:25:17.78
we ended up
having sex that evening.
00:25:17.81\00:25:19.65
And so that was
just really difficult,
00:25:19.68\00:25:21.12
where I was really bothered
and seeing how I allowed myself
00:25:21.15\00:25:25.12
to get to that point
as that wasn't the plan.
00:25:25.15\00:25:27.92
I just planned
to just, you know,
00:25:27.96\00:25:29.29
numb just to not think
about what was going on.
00:25:29.32\00:25:31.83
And so by the following day,
00:25:31.86\00:25:33.19
I knew I had to go to work.
00:25:33.23\00:25:34.56
I was a lifeguard at that time.
00:25:34.60\00:25:36.16
And I knew that
because it was a Sunday,
00:25:36.20\00:25:38.53
no one was going to
be coming to the pool.
00:25:38.57\00:25:40.70
So I figured you know what,
I'll just take a little nap,
00:25:40.74\00:25:42.84
no one's going to know.
00:25:42.87\00:25:44.31
And in that nap,
00:25:44.34\00:25:46.21
I ended up seeing
myself getting re-baptized.
00:25:46.24\00:25:48.84
Wow.
00:25:48.88\00:25:50.21
So it was one of those moments
where it was eye-opening for me
00:25:50.25\00:25:53.28
that God was
meeting me in this place
00:25:53.31\00:25:55.15
because when my,
00:25:55.18\00:25:56.52
around the time
when my parents divorced
00:25:56.55\00:25:57.89
when I was about 12
and 13, I did get baptized.
00:25:57.92\00:26:01.26
But that was only to
appease Bible workers
00:26:01.29\00:26:03.53
who, you know, sometimes
they can be a little bit eager,
00:26:03.56\00:26:06.80
which is understandable.
00:26:06.83\00:26:08.16
But at the same time,
00:26:08.20\00:26:09.53
I didn't really know
God as a personal Savior.
00:26:09.56\00:26:11.83
And so at that time
when that dream occurred,
00:26:11.87\00:26:14.40
where I saw myself
getting re-baptized,
00:26:14.44\00:26:16.77
it was really a
moment where I was seeing
00:26:16.81\00:26:18.94
that God was able to
reach me at my lowest point.
00:26:18.97\00:26:21.81
So that was really
the turning point for me,
00:26:21.84\00:26:23.85
where I was now seeing
that I could call on God.
00:26:23.88\00:26:27.08
Because normally
I had called on Him
00:26:27.12\00:26:30.19
when I was going
through situations,
00:26:30.22\00:26:32.49
as I normally
just saw him as a genie
00:26:32.52\00:26:34.49
that, you know, anytime
I was like sexually active,
00:26:34.52\00:26:37.59
I just figured
you know what, Lord,
00:26:37.63\00:26:39.13
just make sure I
don't get pregnant
00:26:39.16\00:26:40.50
or have any STDs.
00:26:40.53\00:26:42.00
And it's honestly by
His grace and His mercies
00:26:42.03\00:26:44.00
that nothing had happened
throughout all those years,
00:26:44.03\00:26:46.40
because God knew that deep down,
00:26:46.43\00:26:48.10
if I were to get pregnant,
00:26:48.14\00:26:49.47
my plan was just
to have an abortion.
00:26:49.50\00:26:51.27
And so just to see His grace,
00:26:51.31\00:26:52.74
how He had worked things out,
00:26:52.77\00:26:54.51
is still eye-opening to me.
00:26:54.54\00:26:55.88
It's still humbling to see
that even in my own ignorance,
00:26:55.91\00:26:59.11
He was still working with me.
00:26:59.15\00:27:00.48
Yeah. Wow.
00:27:00.52\00:27:01.85
So you, I mean, you said,
I'm just taking it all in.
00:27:01.88\00:27:05.55
Just put it out there. Yes.
00:27:05.59\00:27:07.09
And, you know,
00:27:07.12\00:27:08.46
I want to say that
I really appreciate
00:27:08.49\00:27:10.03
your transparency, all...
00:27:10.06\00:27:12.76
And, Harrison,
we'll be getting to you.
00:27:12.79\00:27:14.70
And I already know
00:27:14.73\00:27:16.06
that you are very
transparent as well.
00:27:16.10\00:27:17.73
But I want to say
00:27:17.77\00:27:19.10
that I really
appreciate your transparency
00:27:19.13\00:27:20.70
because there
is somebody at home
00:27:20.74\00:27:22.54
that is struggling
with the same things
00:27:22.57\00:27:25.54
that, you know,
somebody might be struggling
00:27:25.57\00:27:27.24
with what you
struggled with at one point,
00:27:27.28\00:27:28.88
somebody may be struggling
with what you struggled with,
00:27:28.91\00:27:31.31
Kezia, and you, Harrison.
00:27:31.35\00:27:33.35
And so, you know,
being open, honest,
00:27:33.38\00:27:35.65
transparent and
having this conversation
00:27:35.68\00:27:38.22
is very important.
00:27:38.25\00:27:40.52
You know,
something that transparency
00:27:40.56\00:27:42.32
and I would ask,
00:27:42.36\00:27:43.99
you know,
whether you agree or not,
00:27:44.03\00:27:45.36
that's part of my recovery.
00:27:45.39\00:27:46.73
Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:46.76\00:27:48.10
That transparency reminds me
00:27:48.13\00:27:49.46
of what God has
brought me through
00:27:49.50\00:27:50.87
and what I've been
through and then it's like,
00:27:50.90\00:27:52.70
when I think about that guy
00:27:52.73\00:27:54.37
and what he went
through all those years
00:27:54.40\00:27:55.84
in the gay culture is like,
00:27:55.87\00:27:57.21
all right, yeah, I
don't want that anymore.
00:27:57.24\00:27:59.51
This is what I wanted.
00:27:59.54\00:28:00.88
It's affirming for me.
00:28:00.91\00:28:02.24
So that transparency,
00:28:02.28\00:28:03.61
I think is just as
important for me as it is
00:28:03.65\00:28:05.25
for someone that
might be listening.
00:28:05.28\00:28:06.82
Amen.
00:28:06.85\00:28:08.18
So, Kezia, let's
go back to where,
00:28:08.22\00:28:10.49
you know, you start
walking with Christ,
00:28:10.52\00:28:12.45
you had the dream
about being re-baptized.
00:28:12.49\00:28:14.59
Yes.
00:28:14.62\00:28:15.96
And so let's transition into you
00:28:15.99\00:28:18.06
walking with Christ now.
00:28:18.09\00:28:19.63
And what did that look like?
00:28:19.66\00:28:21.53
For the most part, it
seemed very typical nothing.
00:28:21.56\00:28:25.13
Some things did change for sure.
00:28:25.17\00:28:26.74
Like when it came to the smoking
00:28:26.77\00:28:28.20
and the partying,
00:28:28.24\00:28:29.57
I did let go of that.
00:28:29.60\00:28:30.94
But when it came to
the sexual activities
00:28:30.97\00:28:33.07
that I was still doing,
00:28:33.11\00:28:34.44
I realized that
was the hardest thing
00:28:34.48\00:28:35.81
for me to let go of
00:28:35.84\00:28:37.18
as I was
learning to walk with God,
00:28:37.21\00:28:38.81
as I was learning
to not go to church
00:28:38.85\00:28:40.95
on my own
00:28:40.98\00:28:42.32
learning to open
the Bible on my own,
00:28:42.35\00:28:44.42
learning to pray for myself.
00:28:44.45\00:28:45.79
So there was, there were things
00:28:45.82\00:28:47.76
that were
gradually changing over time,
00:28:47.79\00:28:50.13
but I realized that
when it came to sexuality,
00:28:50.16\00:28:52.96
when it came to
pornography and masturbation,
00:28:52.99\00:28:55.30
that was really
the hardest thing
00:28:55.33\00:28:56.67
for me to let go of.
00:28:56.70\00:28:58.03
And so I had desires
to go on mission trips
00:28:58.07\00:29:01.20
just to become more
active in doing God's work.
00:29:01.24\00:29:04.21
And so I was able to go
to Cuba for a mission trip.
00:29:04.24\00:29:07.38
And on that mission trip,
that's where I came across
00:29:07.41\00:29:10.15
'Coming Out' Ministries...
00:29:10.18\00:29:11.51
As we were on the team together.
00:29:11.55\00:29:13.05
And so that's where
God really showed me
00:29:13.08\00:29:15.08
that what I was going through
00:29:15.12\00:29:16.99
in regards to
the sexual addiction,
00:29:17.02\00:29:18.52
the pornography, that
I had to let go of that.
00:29:18.55\00:29:21.56
So as I was doing God's work,
00:29:21.59\00:29:24.03
that's where he really met
me now that he was telling me
00:29:24.06\00:29:27.13
to let go of what
I was holding onto.
00:29:27.16\00:29:29.03
Yes.
00:29:29.06\00:29:30.40
And then there was also a
situation where you had...
00:29:30.43\00:29:33.47
What was it, there
was a twist in your hair,
00:29:33.50\00:29:35.44
what did you have in your hair
00:29:35.47\00:29:37.11
that led to an
uncomfortable conversation?
00:29:37.14\00:29:39.61
Yes, it did.
00:29:39.64\00:29:41.18
So while we were in Cuba,
we were there for two weeks.
00:29:41.21\00:29:43.51
I know I had to
leave a few days earlier,
00:29:43.55\00:29:45.51
to go back to work
00:29:45.55\00:29:46.88
and so there
were a lot of things
00:29:46.92\00:29:49.08
that had happened
within the trip in Cuba,
00:29:49.12\00:29:51.12
where I was seeing
that God was telling me
00:29:51.15\00:29:53.59
to let go of the pornography
and the masturbation.
00:29:53.62\00:29:56.22
There really was one time
that really stuck out to me
00:29:56.26\00:29:58.49
where during our
morning devotions,
00:29:58.53\00:30:00.40
we would come together
00:30:00.43\00:30:01.76
and in the midst
of the morning time,
00:30:01.80\00:30:03.87
the sun is shining
00:30:03.90\00:30:05.23
and I remember just
hearing Mike mentioning
00:30:05.27\00:30:07.80
during our devotion time
00:30:07.84\00:30:09.17
that pornography to
him was his best friend,
00:30:09.20\00:30:12.24
that at any time he felt lonely,
00:30:12.27\00:30:14.08
tired or angry,
he would turn to it.
00:30:14.11\00:30:16.28
And so I remember
00:30:16.31\00:30:17.65
just sitting there
with my sunglasses on
00:30:17.68\00:30:19.15
because it was sunny and
I just started to tear up
00:30:19.18\00:30:21.45
because it really hit me
00:30:21.48\00:30:22.82
that what I was
quietly going through
00:30:22.85\00:30:25.09
was really just hurting me.
00:30:25.12\00:30:26.45
And so it took time
for me to recognize that,
00:30:26.49\00:30:29.22
you know, what I was
doing was not healthy for me.
00:30:29.26\00:30:31.83
And so, from that situation
and several other situations
00:30:31.86\00:30:35.00
that God allowed to happen,
00:30:35.03\00:30:36.77
it showed me that
it was time for me
00:30:36.80\00:30:38.30
to truly and seriously let go.
00:30:38.33\00:30:40.87
But it really wasn't
until I went back to Florida,
00:30:40.90\00:30:43.17
where Mike so
happened to have to,
00:30:43.20\00:30:45.21
he had to come
to Florida as well.
00:30:45.24\00:30:47.51
And I had twisted my hair,
00:30:47.54\00:30:49.84
and I needed help
just taking it out
00:30:49.88\00:30:51.78
and it was a day
00:30:51.81\00:30:53.15
where I knew I had to do my hair
00:30:53.18\00:30:55.15
to take it out
00:30:55.18\00:30:56.52
but also that
was Mike's only time
00:30:56.55\00:30:58.12
to come to Florida.
00:30:58.15\00:31:00.36
So I was hesitant in
going to talk with him
00:31:00.39\00:31:02.39
because I knew this was
now a time to really unload,
00:31:02.42\00:31:05.43
to unpack.
00:31:05.46\00:31:06.80
And so I was
hesitant with even, you know,
00:31:06.83\00:31:09.03
really going to talk about it.
00:31:09.06\00:31:10.80
So I told him over
phone... Wasn't it your out?
00:31:10.83\00:31:13.17
It's like, "Oh,
where's the time, God,
00:31:13.20\00:31:15.04
I got to take out my hair."
00:31:15.07\00:31:16.40
Yeah, I was like, "I
don't think I could come.
00:31:16.44\00:31:17.77
I have to do my hair."
00:31:17.81\00:31:19.14
That almost sounds
like a date excuse.
00:31:19.17\00:31:23.41
So I was just like...
You had a date with Jesus.
00:31:23.45\00:31:26.01
I did.
00:31:26.05\00:31:27.38
And so I just told
him I was like, you know,
00:31:27.42\00:31:29.72
"Well, I won't be
able to come anymore
00:31:29.75\00:31:31.89
because I have to
take out my hair."
00:31:31.92\00:31:33.62
And he was like,
"Oh, don't worry about it,
00:31:33.66\00:31:34.99
I could help you."
00:31:35.02\00:31:36.36
And at that time, I was
just thinking to myself,
00:31:36.39\00:31:37.73
you know, "What
does this white man
00:31:37.76\00:31:39.09
know about hair?"
00:31:39.13\00:31:40.46
And I didn't know
00:31:40.50\00:31:41.83
that he was
actually a hairdresser.
00:31:41.86\00:31:43.20
And so when we came to
gather we were talking...
00:31:43.23\00:31:44.57
Not just about hair,
00:31:44.60\00:31:45.93
but your particular
style of hair, yeah.
00:31:45.97\00:31:47.97
Yeah. Yeah,
yeah. Yeah. Precisely.
00:31:48.00\00:31:49.34
So I was just really shocked.
00:31:49.37\00:31:51.14
And so we finally met up,
we spoke for the whole day,
00:31:51.17\00:31:53.94
he was helping me
taking out my hair.
00:31:53.98\00:31:55.91
And at that moment,
as he was helping me,
00:31:55.94\00:31:58.35
you know, unravel my
hair there was also work
00:31:58.38\00:32:01.65
that was going on within
me internally and spiritually.
00:32:01.68\00:32:04.75
So as we were physically
just taking out my hair,
00:32:04.79\00:32:07.56
there was also
just the internal work
00:32:07.59\00:32:09.46
where now I was
realizing that God was asking me
00:32:09.49\00:32:12.13
to let go of the
things I was holding onto,
00:32:12.16\00:32:14.03
the pains and the traumas,
00:32:14.06\00:32:15.86
the things I was holding
onto for all those years.
00:32:15.90\00:32:18.60
But it was one of
those moments where I cherish
00:32:18.63\00:32:21.27
because I was seeing that
God was really patient with me.
00:32:21.30\00:32:23.10
Yeah.
00:32:23.14\00:32:24.47
Because even
though I had that dream,
00:32:24.51\00:32:26.04
it wasn't a
moment where I just said,
00:32:26.07\00:32:27.58
"Okay, you know, I'm
letting go of everything."
00:32:27.61\00:32:29.88
But it took time for
me to get to that place
00:32:29.91\00:32:31.81
where I was ready and willing
to finally surrender to Him.
00:32:31.85\00:32:34.68
Amen.
00:32:34.72\00:32:36.05
So God was using that situation.
00:32:36.08\00:32:37.69
Yeah.
00:32:37.72\00:32:39.05
He was constantly
just saying, Kezia, like,
00:32:39.09\00:32:40.59
"Come back to
me, come back to me,
00:32:40.62\00:32:41.96
come back to me."
00:32:41.99\00:32:43.32
Yeah.
00:32:43.36\00:32:44.69
And He was just showing
His love to you and for you.
00:32:44.73\00:32:47.96
That's incredible.
00:32:48.00\00:32:49.46
And a situation where, you know,
00:32:49.50\00:32:51.90
it involves
just taking hair out.
00:32:51.93\00:32:53.94
And the conversation
00:32:53.97\00:32:55.30
God was speaking
through you to her.
00:32:55.34\00:32:57.27
I mean, that is amazing.
00:32:57.31\00:32:59.81
Harrison, let's go
ahead and hear your journey.
00:32:59.84\00:33:03.55
And let's start
with your childhood.
00:33:03.58\00:33:06.55
Yes, well, as
you have been seeing,
00:33:06.58\00:33:09.88
there is a problem of identity,
00:33:09.92\00:33:12.25
you know, the
identity problem with Michael,
00:33:12.29\00:33:14.72
Kezia and myself also,
00:33:14.76\00:33:16.73
because I was born
in an Adventist home.
00:33:16.76\00:33:19.59
So my identity,
my spiritual identity
00:33:19.63\00:33:22.73
was the thing that I didn't know
00:33:22.76\00:33:25.20
how to get together, you know,
00:33:25.23\00:33:30.07
and so being in
an Adventist home,
00:33:30.11\00:33:34.18
well, I thought
00:33:34.21\00:33:35.98
that it's
supposed to be a safeguard,
00:33:36.01\00:33:39.85
you know for the
children, for the family itself.
00:33:39.88\00:33:44.02
But in my case I was in a family
00:33:44.05\00:33:46.99
that when we went to the church,
00:33:47.02\00:33:50.53
everything was okay, was good,
00:33:50.56\00:33:53.73
all the people
have this, an example...
00:33:53.76\00:33:57.17
They put the perfect face on.
00:33:57.20\00:33:58.57
Yes, the perfect face.
00:33:58.60\00:33:59.93
But when we get home,
when we come back to home,
00:33:59.97\00:34:03.81
it was totally different.
00:34:03.84\00:34:05.54
Was many...
00:34:05.57\00:34:07.94
My parents arguing constantly,
00:34:07.98\00:34:12.41
fighting, physically violence,
00:34:12.45\00:34:17.55
me trying to be protective
to my brothers also so...
00:34:17.59\00:34:23.22
Your brothers, you
have younger brothers?
00:34:23.26\00:34:24.93
Yes I have. I am the oldest one.
00:34:24.96\00:34:27.10
Okay, okay. Yes.
00:34:27.13\00:34:28.50
So it was too
difficult for me to understand,
00:34:28.53\00:34:32.73
"Okay, why in the
church we need to be like this
00:34:32.77\00:34:38.47
being or acting like this
00:34:38.51\00:34:41.24
and in home it's
completely different?"
00:34:41.28\00:34:43.61
"It should be the
same in both places."
00:34:43.65\00:34:49.08
But it was too difficult
for me so there was a moment
00:34:49.12\00:34:54.46
when I said,
00:34:54.49\00:34:55.92
"I don't really want
to be like my parents.
00:34:55.96\00:34:58.73
I'm tired of this."
00:34:58.76\00:35:01.60
I don't even have in my mind
00:35:01.63\00:35:06.23
happy moments with them.
00:35:06.27\00:35:08.47
Or maybe a moment
of study the Bible
00:35:08.50\00:35:12.37
or a moment of prayer
00:35:12.41\00:35:14.51
so for me the
religion was, okay,
00:35:14.54\00:35:17.81
let's go to church,
go sit down, be quiet.
00:35:17.85\00:35:23.59
Pay attention to the preacher.
00:35:23.62\00:35:26.69
Be part of the
different activities
00:35:26.72\00:35:28.26
that the church
00:35:28.29\00:35:31.03
gives you like
the adventurers club,
00:35:31.06\00:35:34.30
pathfinders.
00:35:34.33\00:35:36.97
Cheering choir,
etc. So that was my life.
00:35:37.00\00:35:41.64
So your idea of
Christianity was basically
00:35:41.67\00:35:45.97
the outward appearance
00:35:46.01\00:35:47.34
but not having that
inward transformation.
00:35:47.38\00:35:50.15
That's right. That's right.
00:35:50.18\00:35:51.61
So there was, there was a moment
00:35:51.65\00:35:53.21
when I was 11, 12 years
old, when I was in my school,
00:35:53.25\00:35:58.09
it was an public school,
00:35:58.12\00:36:01.42
there was a classmate
that they were talking,
00:36:01.46\00:36:06.70
they were
talking about sexuality.
00:36:06.73\00:36:08.86
They were talking
00:36:08.90\00:36:10.23
about
masturbation and pornography.
00:36:10.27\00:36:12.00
At the moment, I didn't know
00:36:12.03\00:36:13.37
what they were talking about.
00:36:13.40\00:36:15.40
But that curiosity took me
and so I fail on those sins...
00:36:15.44\00:36:19.97
At 11 or 12 years
old? Eleven years old.
00:36:20.01\00:36:22.88
And that's exactly
00:36:22.91\00:36:24.25
why towards the
beginning of this,
00:36:24.28\00:36:26.15
you know, we've made
the disclaimer for parents
00:36:26.18\00:36:29.72
to watch this program first
00:36:29.75\00:36:31.95
and then
determine whether or not
00:36:31.99\00:36:33.46
they want to share
it with their children.
00:36:33.49\00:36:35.86
Because as you just stated,
you were 11 or 12 years old,
00:36:35.89\00:36:39.56
when you were approached
00:36:39.59\00:36:40.93
about
masturbation and pornography.
00:36:40.96\00:36:43.53
Kezia was four. Yeah, yeah.
00:36:43.57\00:36:45.90
I mean, it's
starting earlier and earlier.
00:36:45.93\00:36:48.47
And if we're not
sharing God's truth with people,
00:36:48.50\00:36:52.77
you know, they're
finding their information,
00:36:52.81\00:36:55.14
but they're
getting misinformation
00:36:55.18\00:36:56.68
and they're getting
it from their peers.
00:36:56.71\00:36:58.48
They're getting
it from the streets.
00:36:58.51\00:36:59.85
They're getting from all
kinds of different places,
00:36:59.88\00:37:02.15
and it's leading them
down the devil's path,
00:37:02.18\00:37:04.25
as opposed to God's path.
00:37:04.29\00:37:06.65
That's right. Please continue.
00:37:06.69\00:37:08.02
So at that moment,
00:37:08.06\00:37:09.39
I thought that it was
something normal for men.
00:37:09.42\00:37:14.30
I was certainly, you
know, keeping it in secret
00:37:14.33\00:37:16.77
from my parents, from my family,
00:37:16.80\00:37:18.13
but been talking
about these kind of things
00:37:18.17\00:37:21.74
with my classmates, my friends,
00:37:21.77\00:37:25.64
and I even was
like that kind of child
00:37:25.67\00:37:29.71
that start to make fun of those
who were not practicing that.
00:37:29.74\00:37:35.55
And even we were
the kind of saying,
00:37:35.58\00:37:38.55
"Oh, if you are not
doing that, you are gay."
00:37:38.59\00:37:42.06
So that's what
we thought. Oh, wow.
00:37:42.09\00:37:44.49
And I remember one day,
00:37:44.53\00:37:46.03
I remember one
day and I understood
00:37:46.06\00:37:49.13
these until in my adulthood.
00:37:49.16\00:37:52.83
Mm-hmm. Adulthood.
00:37:52.87\00:37:55.34
Yes, because I remember
00:37:55.37\00:37:59.04
making fun of one of my friends,
00:37:59.07\00:38:01.88
and he said to me,
00:38:01.91\00:38:03.24
"No, that's not correct.
00:38:03.28\00:38:04.71
That's not good.
00:38:04.75\00:38:06.15
That is that is something
that we need to wait for
00:38:06.18\00:38:10.25
when we are married."
00:38:10.29\00:38:11.79
And I thought at that
moment that he was crazy.
00:38:11.82\00:38:15.06
I said, "This is normal,
why are you saying that?"
00:38:15.09\00:38:18.46
But right now I understand
00:38:18.49\00:38:20.73
how important is
that the parents take time
00:38:20.76\00:38:25.33
to talk to their children,
00:38:25.37\00:38:28.27
because he was
receiving the right information.
00:38:28.30\00:38:31.57
Yeah.
00:38:31.61\00:38:32.94
He was receiving the
right information and so...
00:38:32.97\00:38:35.68
Right now I understand,
but it is so sad for me to say,
00:38:35.71\00:38:39.25
"Okay, well, I
didn't have that opportunity
00:38:39.28\00:38:42.12
to receive that
counsel from my parents."
00:38:42.15\00:38:45.45
And I don't want to use
00:38:45.49\00:38:50.79
putting my parents,
00:38:50.83\00:38:52.16
you know, as the or you
know, hitting to my parents
00:38:52.19\00:38:57.37
or making them, the word...
00:38:57.40\00:39:02.80
Yes, look bad, you know,
00:39:02.84\00:39:04.17
they didn't
have the information,
00:39:04.21\00:39:05.54
they didn't have
that relationship with God
00:39:05.57\00:39:09.64
in order to give us
to us the same thing.
00:39:09.68\00:39:13.68
So because they came
from a difficult situation
00:39:13.72\00:39:18.35
in their families too.
00:39:18.39\00:39:20.22
So when I was 19 years old,
00:39:20.26\00:39:25.26
I decided to leave the church
00:39:25.29\00:39:27.36
because I was tired
about everything there.
00:39:27.40\00:39:30.17
I didn't want to be
more part of the activities
00:39:30.20\00:39:35.17
and I wanted to know
what the world could...
00:39:35.20\00:39:38.61
You thought it was going to
be greener on the other side.
00:39:38.64\00:39:39.97
Give to me.
00:39:40.01\00:39:41.41
Right. Right. Yeah.
00:39:41.44\00:39:42.78
So I say, "Well, if well,
00:39:42.81\00:39:45.61
I need to know
00:39:45.65\00:39:47.88
what's the difference of these."
00:39:47.92\00:39:49.72
So when I left,
00:39:49.75\00:39:51.15
I started to go to
bars, to get drunk,
00:39:51.19\00:39:54.99
to party with my friends,
00:39:55.02\00:39:58.43
and eventually I
wanted to get deeper
00:39:58.46\00:40:02.06
into the music,
00:40:02.10\00:40:03.97
the music scene.
00:40:04.00\00:40:08.10
I wanted to be a
DJ at the moment,
00:40:08.14\00:40:10.77
yes, but it was something
that I was from my childhood
00:40:10.81\00:40:15.51
because my parents they
were used to listen Christian
00:40:15.54\00:40:20.02
and worldly
music at the same time.
00:40:20.05\00:40:23.02
So even that I didn't
have the, the different.
00:40:23.05\00:40:25.62
Okay, this music talks about God
00:40:25.65\00:40:27.99
that this other
music, well, is normal.
00:40:28.02\00:40:30.73
All the people listen to it.
00:40:30.76\00:40:33.60
So there is no problem.
00:40:33.63\00:40:35.96
The Bible says that, you know,
00:40:36.00\00:40:38.10
a double minded man is
unstable in all his ways.
00:40:38.13\00:40:40.80
And it sounds like
what you saw as a child
00:40:40.84\00:40:43.47
was that double
mindedness, one face at church,
00:40:43.51\00:40:46.71
one face at home,
00:40:46.74\00:40:48.21
and then for you as a child,
00:40:48.24\00:40:50.78
like, that's very confusing.
00:40:50.81\00:40:52.15
It's confusing for an adult,
00:40:52.18\00:40:54.88
you know, so you
being a little kid
00:40:54.92\00:40:57.02
that's really confusing,
00:40:57.05\00:40:58.45
especially when you're following
00:40:58.49\00:40:59.89
that leadership and
it's not just your parents,
00:40:59.92\00:41:03.32
of course, we know that
00:41:03.36\00:41:04.83
you're not
putting your parents down.
00:41:04.86\00:41:06.19
It's not just your
parents that are like that.
00:41:06.23\00:41:08.86
There's a lot of
people, you know,
00:41:08.90\00:41:10.23
just like people
struggle with different things.
00:41:10.27\00:41:12.47
Like there are a
lot of other people
00:41:12.50\00:41:13.84
that are like that as well.
00:41:13.87\00:41:15.57
So you wanted to be a DJ,
00:41:15.60\00:41:18.07
you left the
church for a little while.
00:41:18.11\00:41:20.11
You got into the bar scene,
00:41:20.14\00:41:21.61
drinking and
partying and stuff like that.
00:41:21.64\00:41:24.51
How did you
transition out of that?
00:41:24.55\00:41:28.68
How did you come
back to the Lord and gain
00:41:28.72\00:41:33.05
the victory or
start to gain the victory?
00:41:33.09\00:41:35.22
Yes.
00:41:35.26\00:41:36.59
Well, there was a moment
00:41:36.62\00:41:37.96
that I went to visit
my friends in the church.
00:41:37.99\00:41:41.30
So the preacher was
talking about something
00:41:41.33\00:41:46.53
I don't exactly
remember what he was saying,
00:41:46.57\00:41:48.97
but it touched my
heart that I said,
00:41:49.00\00:41:51.67
"Well, I need to
return to God's hands
00:41:51.71\00:41:54.44
because if I don't do it,
00:41:54.48\00:41:56.95
I will never come back."
00:41:56.98\00:41:59.08
So God has
started to work in me.
00:41:59.11\00:42:01.72
I returned to church.
00:42:01.75\00:42:05.22
But that is something
that I would like to say,
00:42:05.25\00:42:08.59
at that moment, well,
practically all my life,
00:42:08.62\00:42:11.76
the church...
00:42:11.79\00:42:14.23
Well, in my
church, my local church,
00:42:14.26\00:42:15.73
they were used to talk about,
00:42:15.76\00:42:17.47
now we are going to keep singing
00:42:17.50\00:42:20.44
until God comes.
00:42:20.47\00:42:22.40
So...
00:42:22.44\00:42:23.77
Wow, So they
didn't believe it...
00:42:23.81\00:42:25.14
That was...
00:42:25.17\00:42:26.51
Yes, that was the message
00:42:26.54\00:42:27.88
that I was
receiving all my life.
00:42:27.91\00:42:29.31
So imagine my
identity as an accretion
00:42:29.34\00:42:32.81
as an Adventist was messed up.
00:42:32.85\00:42:35.22
So when I come back,
00:42:35.25\00:42:38.25
I didn't know that the problem
00:42:38.29\00:42:41.89
that I had was bad.
00:42:41.92\00:42:45.06
And then
00:42:45.09\00:42:47.90
when the time continued,
00:42:47.93\00:42:51.77
I realized when
I started to meet
00:42:51.80\00:42:55.40
these people
from another churches,
00:42:55.44\00:43:01.04
Adventist churches
00:43:01.08\00:43:02.41
but near or close
to my local church
00:43:02.44\00:43:06.35
and there, they were,
00:43:06.38\00:43:08.42
they wanted to have
that relationship with God.
00:43:08.45\00:43:10.75
So, in that
moment, meeting them,
00:43:10.79\00:43:13.36
I understood
00:43:13.39\00:43:15.12
that what I was
doing was not right.
00:43:15.16\00:43:17.36
Yes.
00:43:17.39\00:43:18.73
But I say,
00:43:18.76\00:43:20.20
why until now I am
receiving this gospel,
00:43:20.23\00:43:24.83
this message all my life,
00:43:24.87\00:43:27.14
I told it was
something different that,
00:43:27.17\00:43:29.60
okay, I have this
problem but anyways,
00:43:29.64\00:43:32.21
God understands me.
00:43:32.24\00:43:34.18
And so I think
00:43:34.21\00:43:35.98
that only being
here in the church
00:43:36.01\00:43:38.15
is enough to be saved.
00:43:38.18\00:43:41.62
But I understand
that knowing them
00:43:41.65\00:43:44.29
and then I met people from UAC
00:43:44.32\00:43:48.99
and that was the moment
00:43:49.02\00:43:50.36
when I started to get
00:43:50.39\00:43:53.13
or to have that
kind of relationship
00:43:53.16\00:43:56.73
with people
00:43:56.77\00:43:58.10
who really wanted to have a
deeper relationship with God.
00:43:58.13\00:44:02.47
So then eventually I
met 'Coming Out' Ministries
00:44:02.50\00:44:05.91
at 2016,
00:44:05.94\00:44:09.44
being part of USC, Costa Rica,
00:44:09.48\00:44:11.08
we brought them to our country.
00:44:11.11\00:44:14.65
And it was, for me,
00:44:14.68\00:44:17.29
it was difficult to understand
00:44:17.32\00:44:19.49
that even gay
people could have victory
00:44:19.52\00:44:24.26
over their sin.
00:44:24.29\00:44:25.83
I didn't, it was so difficult.
00:44:25.86\00:44:29.70
I could not understand
that, but I wanted to know,
00:44:29.73\00:44:33.94
what could that happen?
00:44:33.97\00:44:35.97
So I could be, yes.
00:44:36.00\00:44:39.07
You know, because
in Hispanic culture,
00:44:39.11\00:44:41.24
homosexuality
00:44:41.28\00:44:42.61
is a very degraded kind of thing
00:44:42.64\00:44:45.48
and kind of in Hispanic culture,
00:44:45.51\00:44:47.65
it's like, that's
the worst of the worst.
00:44:47.68\00:44:49.62
You just can't get
any worse than that.
00:44:49.65\00:44:50.99
And there's no
redemption for that.
00:44:51.02\00:44:52.55
Right. Okay.
00:44:52.59\00:44:53.92
It used to be
that way in America too
00:44:53.96\00:44:55.72
but it became normalized.
00:44:55.76\00:44:57.59
It seems like...
00:44:57.63\00:44:58.96
Right.
00:44:58.99\00:45:00.33
As it is and also
00:45:00.36\00:45:01.70
in Latin American
countries as well.
00:45:01.73\00:45:03.06
That's right.
00:45:03.10\00:45:04.43
So I understood
that being with them
00:45:04.47\00:45:08.37
day by day in those,
00:45:08.40\00:45:09.87
in that event
and so in the sense
00:45:09.90\00:45:12.17
that I need to have a
deeper relationship with God.
00:45:12.21\00:45:16.21
I had the
opportunity to baptize my dad,
00:45:16.24\00:45:19.61
me being as an elder,
00:45:19.65\00:45:21.22
and I don't at the moment
00:45:21.25\00:45:22.58
I started to have the
real victory over my sins,
00:45:22.62\00:45:27.92
but then
something that I understood
00:45:27.96\00:45:32.63
that, I learned is that
00:45:32.66\00:45:35.96
the victory is something daily
00:45:36.00\00:45:37.73
because there was a
moment some several months
00:45:37.77\00:45:42.04
that I had victory,
but then I fail again.
00:45:42.07\00:45:44.67
Yes.
00:45:44.71\00:45:46.04
I fail again
00:45:46.07\00:45:47.41
because I thought
that problem was gone.
00:45:47.44\00:45:51.55
I said, "Okay,
everything was gone
00:45:51.58\00:45:53.42
and I don't need
to worry about it."
00:45:53.45\00:45:57.35
But then I fell again.
00:45:57.39\00:45:59.95
And I said,
"Well what happened?"
00:45:59.99\00:46:02.16
But I remember a friend of mine,
00:46:02.19\00:46:03.96
he came to me
00:46:03.99\00:46:05.33
and I talked to
him what happened.
00:46:05.36\00:46:07.23
And he said to me,
00:46:07.26\00:46:08.60
"You need to
understand that the victory,
00:46:08.63\00:46:11.67
the yesterday's victory,
00:46:11.70\00:46:14.64
will not work for today.
00:46:14.67\00:46:16.57
And today's victory
will not work for tomorrow."
00:46:16.60\00:46:19.27
It's something that is
daily, it is something,
00:46:19.31\00:46:22.51
this is the real
gospel that told,
00:46:22.54\00:46:26.75
what Jesus can do in us
00:46:26.78\00:46:30.85
if we put
ourselves in His hands,
00:46:30.89\00:46:33.99
every day, every
hour, every minute.
00:46:34.02\00:46:38.03
In other words, our
identity is in Christ.
00:46:38.06\00:46:40.86
And, you know what, as
we've been talking, like,
00:46:40.90\00:46:44.23
I've heard, you
know, identity issue,
00:46:44.27\00:46:48.07
identity issue, identity issue,
00:46:48.10\00:46:50.57
you know, whether it
was the double mindedness,
00:46:50.61\00:46:52.77
whether it was, you know,
biracial and figuring that out,
00:46:52.81\00:46:56.54
and then the pain
00:46:56.58\00:46:57.91
from the
separation of your parents
00:46:57.95\00:46:59.28
and all of that stuff.
00:46:59.31\00:47:00.65
Or whether it was you
feeling like you were trapped
00:47:00.68\00:47:03.45
in a man's body,
00:47:03.49\00:47:05.32
like you were a girl
trapped in a boy's body.
00:47:05.35\00:47:09.02
It was identity,
identity, identity.
00:47:09.06\00:47:11.83
But our identity is in Christ.
00:47:11.86\00:47:14.43
I can't believe our
time is running short.
00:47:14.46\00:47:17.93
But I want to talk
about some tips, some tools,
00:47:17.97\00:47:23.67
some resources that
people can implement
00:47:23.71\00:47:27.88
as they're
seeking to gain victory.
00:47:27.91\00:47:31.01
The biggest tip I think
for me was Philippians 2:5,
00:47:31.05\00:47:34.88
letting this mind be in you,
00:47:34.92\00:47:36.32
which was in Christ Jesus,
00:47:36.35\00:47:37.69
and somebody had
to unpack that for me.
00:47:37.72\00:47:39.42
And it was when somebody said,
00:47:39.45\00:47:40.79
the only word you have
00:47:40.82\00:47:42.22
the right to do is
the first word, let.
00:47:42.26\00:47:44.73
Means, give me permission
00:47:44.76\00:47:46.16
to put my mind inside your mind.
00:47:46.19\00:47:47.80
You know, Christ
doesn't look at pornography,
00:47:47.83\00:47:49.90
He doesn't
engage in masturbation
00:47:49.93\00:47:51.93
or pre-marital sex
or those kind of things.
00:47:51.97\00:47:53.54
So if I want the mind of Christ,
00:47:53.57\00:47:55.67
I can have it at any time.
00:47:55.70\00:47:57.17
My victory isn't elusive,
00:47:57.21\00:47:58.84
and it isn't conditional
00:47:58.87\00:48:00.21
except as I give
Christ permission
00:48:00.24\00:48:02.34
to give His mind to me,
00:48:02.38\00:48:03.88
and you know what,
00:48:03.91\00:48:05.25
there been many
times when I'll say,
00:48:05.28\00:48:06.61
"Lord, there's dirty
thoughts in my head."
00:48:06.65\00:48:08.12
And I'll say, "Lord, you
know, I claim that promise,
00:48:08.15\00:48:10.39
you know, give me
the mind of Christ."
00:48:10.42\00:48:11.85
And bam,
00:48:11.89\00:48:13.22
my next thought
is about baseball,
00:48:13.25\00:48:14.59
and I, everyone
knows, I hate baseball.
00:48:14.62\00:48:17.36
So God was able to do
that miraculously for me
00:48:17.39\00:48:20.00
when I couldn't
do that for myself.
00:48:20.03\00:48:21.73
That's my favorite tip.
00:48:21.76\00:48:24.80
Kezia.
00:48:24.83\00:48:26.17
For myself, the
biggest thing was recognizing
00:48:26.20\00:48:28.00
that the mind that
got me into this mess
00:48:28.04\00:48:30.41
would not be the same
mind to free me from it.
00:48:30.44\00:48:32.87
So it really took me
some time to really recognize
00:48:32.91\00:48:35.91
that I had to come
to a place of realizing
00:48:35.94\00:48:39.08
that I really needed help,
00:48:39.11\00:48:40.45
acknowledging what was going on.
00:48:40.48\00:48:41.98
That's the biggest step.
00:48:42.02\00:48:43.55
Because Romans 12:2 talks about
00:48:43.59\00:48:45.22
be transformed by the
renewing of your mind.
00:48:45.25\00:48:47.46
And so my mind
had to be renewed.
00:48:47.49\00:48:49.32
Like, as Harrison had mentioned
00:48:49.36\00:48:50.79
that the victory
that I had yesterday
00:48:50.83\00:48:52.76
is not the same victory
that would keep me today,
00:48:52.79\00:48:55.43
that it's a daily
process and learning about God.
00:48:55.46\00:48:57.90
I'm taking time out
to really be intentional
00:48:57.93\00:49:00.37
in regards to my
devotional time with God,
00:49:00.40\00:49:03.04
really seeking Him,
getting to know who He is,
00:49:03.07\00:49:06.07
because as we were mentioning,
00:49:06.11\00:49:07.44
when it comes to our identity,
00:49:07.48\00:49:08.81
sometimes we place our
identity in these things
00:49:08.84\00:49:10.85
that are inconsistent.
00:49:10.88\00:49:12.28
And so I had to learn
00:49:12.31\00:49:13.65
to really rely upon
someone who is consistent.
00:49:13.68\00:49:16.48
And so that was
learning about God,
00:49:16.52\00:49:18.09
learning about,
00:49:18.12\00:49:19.45
you know, how can I
become more like Him?
00:49:19.49\00:49:21.72
How can I find comfort in Him,
00:49:21.76\00:49:23.73
despite the things
that change within my life.
00:49:23.76\00:49:28.10
I'm speechless.
You're ready to preach.
00:49:28.13\00:49:30.87
That was the closing
prayer. Preach right there.
00:49:30.90\00:49:34.50
And, Harrison, really quick.
00:49:34.54\00:49:36.74
Yes, for me.
00:49:36.77\00:49:38.51
It is 1 John 5:4,
00:49:38.54\00:49:44.08
about the faith is a
victory that overcomes a world.
00:49:44.11\00:49:48.75
That really makes sense to me
00:49:48.78\00:49:52.05
in the way that who is God.
00:49:52.09\00:49:56.73
God created everything
that we see with eyes,
00:49:56.76\00:49:59.89
the sky, the sun, the different,
00:49:59.93\00:50:05.53
well, the nature, its era
00:50:05.57\00:50:07.80
but what can
really do in my life
00:50:07.84\00:50:11.24
and we see miracles, okay.
00:50:11.27\00:50:13.04
This man was ill, had
cancer and he was healed.
00:50:13.07\00:50:17.28
But what about
our spiritual illness?
00:50:17.31\00:50:21.38
Yes.
00:50:21.42\00:50:22.75
And so when I
put myself and say,
00:50:22.78\00:50:25.09
"No, God can give me
the victory right now
00:50:25.12\00:50:28.32
at the moment of temptation,"
00:50:28.36\00:50:29.86
as, because
something happened to me
00:50:29.89\00:50:32.36
like Michael,
00:50:32.39\00:50:33.80
I say, "Okay, God,
00:50:33.83\00:50:35.16
I feel tempted right now. I
cannot do anything by myself.
00:50:35.20\00:50:39.97
I will fall.
00:50:40.00\00:50:41.84
But I trust in You
that You can take away
00:50:41.87\00:50:45.41
those thoughts right now
00:50:45.44\00:50:49.18
because You are my
Creator and now You know me."
00:50:49.21\00:50:53.31
And so in that moment,
00:50:53.35\00:50:54.68
it was just a second,
00:50:54.72\00:50:57.25
I didn't have any thoughts
00:50:57.29\00:50:59.59
about that and
he gave me victory.
00:50:59.62\00:51:01.76
And He keeps doing it.
00:51:01.79\00:51:03.89
Time after
time. Time after time.
00:51:03.93\00:51:05.26
Amen.
00:51:05.29\00:51:06.63
Mike, you guys being
'Coming Out' Ministries,
00:51:06.66\00:51:09.20
go to different
churches and all that stuff
00:51:09.23\00:51:11.80
and speak in
schools and everything,
00:51:11.83\00:51:13.47
we're gonna go
to your contact info
00:51:13.50\00:51:15.00
in a little bit.
00:51:15.04\00:51:16.37
Okay.
00:51:16.40\00:51:17.74
But I also want to share
00:51:17.77\00:51:19.47
what are some of your needs
of the organization real quick?
00:51:19.51\00:51:22.01
Well, the Bible says,
00:51:22.04\00:51:23.38
"You have not
because you ask not."
00:51:23.41\00:51:24.75
So I hate to talk
about, you know, the money part
00:51:24.78\00:51:27.15
but what 'Coming Out' Ministries
00:51:27.18\00:51:28.85
really needs is committed people
00:51:28.88\00:51:30.22
that would be willing
to on a monthly basis,
00:51:30.25\00:51:32.49
even just $2 a month
or $20 a month, you know,
00:51:32.52\00:51:35.62
just sending that donation
in to support the ministry
00:51:35.66\00:51:38.96
from within from
our operating expenses,
00:51:38.99\00:51:41.13
and also
00:51:41.16\00:51:42.50
for the long term
plans that we have.
00:51:42.53\00:51:43.87
Amen.
00:51:43.90\00:51:45.23
Well, we are going to put
your contact information up
00:51:45.27\00:51:48.34
and we'll go to a news
break and we'll be right back.
00:51:48.37\00:51:51.44
God's people are not
immune to addictions,
00:51:54.68\00:51:56.71
and yet we have a
God who can break them
00:51:56.75\00:51:58.58
and restore us to
the men and women.
00:51:58.61\00:52:00.08
He always meant us to be.
00:52:00.12\00:52:02.05
Hear the experiences of
those who have found a way out
00:52:02.08\00:52:04.55
through the transforming
power of Jesus Christ.
00:52:04.59\00:52:07.02
If you'd like to
find out more about
00:52:07.06\00:52:08.46
'Coming Out' Ministries
just visit their website
00:52:08.49\00:52:11.19
ComingOutMinistries.org.
00:52:11.23\00:52:13.53
That's ComingOutMinistries.org.
00:52:13.56\00:52:16.73
You might also write
them at Coming Out Ministries,
00:52:16.77\00:52:19.73
PO Box 107,
Tilly, Arkansas 72679.
00:52:19.77\00:52:25.37