I want to spend my life
00:00:01.43\00:00:07.44
Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Removing pain
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Lord, let my words
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Heal a heart that hurts
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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Hello, friends,
and welcome to 3ABN
00:01:06.96\00:01:09.26
if you're part of our
family, you know, who I am
00:01:09.30\00:01:11.47
but if you're not,
my name is John Lomacang
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and I will be your host today
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for this very inspiring
program about missions.
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Now normally, when you
hear the word missions,
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you think of overseas.
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Well, missions is not
necessarily only overseas,
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it's something that can
happen in your local community
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as well as
thousands of miles away.
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And today, our guest is
going to share her story
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about how missions has not
only become a part of her life,
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but really has become a
major function out of which
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the Lord has
inspired her and equipped her
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to reach into the
lives of many people
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that are around the world,
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including those
who are here in America
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as well as many continents away.
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So don't turn
away from the program,
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hit the record button
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because I know that
the Lord has something
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to challenge you
with today, to inspire you
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and to let you
know that as a Christian
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there is a call on all
of our lives and guess what?
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Every one of us is
called to be a missionary
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and if we're not, we
are the mission field.
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Now before we
get into our program,
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I want to thank
you for your prayers
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and your financial
support of this network
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that continues to go and grow,
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as we believe
Jesus is soon to come.
00:02:17.73\00:02:19.73
We want to do all in our power
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to get others ready for
that great and glorious event,
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so thank you for your prayers
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and surely for
your financial support.
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Now just before
we meet our guest,
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we always have
some wonderful music
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on our program as you know,
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and this particular person
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that's going to minister
to us today is Gale Murphy,
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Gale Jones Murphy.
00:02:41.02\00:02:42.42
Now she not only
plays the piano well,
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but she sure does sing well
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and she is going to
bless us with a song entitled.
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"No not one."
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Thank you so much,
Gale, for that wonderful song,
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No not one.
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What a name, the name of Jesus
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really is the
cornerstone of our walk
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on a day-by-day basis.
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Thank you so much for that.
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Well, let's meet our
guest at the time, at this time,
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Dr Ann Hamel,
good to have you here.
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Thank you, it's good to be here.
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Dr. Hamel.
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Thank you so much for
gracing our studio today
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with this very important
program about missions.
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You know, there are some people
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that are tuning in that may say,
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"I know that voice
or I know that face."
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If the voice for radio,
the face for television,
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but there are
some people might say,
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"Who is Dr. Ann Hamel?"
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So let our
audience know who you are,
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where you're from, and
kind of what you do right now,
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kind of in a nutshell?
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Okay, I'm a psychologist.
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Okay.
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I have a private
practice in Berrien Springs
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near Andrews University,
but I work with missionaries.
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I work with the
General Conference
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and I provide missionary care
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and crisis
intervention for missionaries.
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Okay, well, thank you
so much for that, that's,
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you know, when
you put that together,
00:09:06.51\00:09:07.84
we think of psychology
but we don't think of it
00:09:07.88\00:09:10.38
in the context of missions.
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At least my mind doesn't
click in those two arenas.
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They seem to be so far apart.
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Yeah.
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But just kind of
before we get into that
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'cause we're going to talk about
00:09:19.89\00:09:21.22
missions and
psychology together.
00:09:21.26\00:09:23.53
But when we think
about psychology missions
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doesn't automatically jump
on the back of that bandwagon.
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But tell us about
your walk in ministry,
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because you've been now
involved in ministry about
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how many years would you say.
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My husband and I
went to Africa in 1979.
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Wow.
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So we, during my
senior year in college,
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we got a call to go to
Africa as missionaries.
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Wow.
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So, I consider it like my core,
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I consider myself a missionary.
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Okay.
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So it's been a long time.
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Wow.
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And home for you is where?
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Berrien Springs.
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And married right
now with children?
00:10:00.63\00:10:01.96
Yes. Okay.
00:10:02.00\00:10:03.33
I'm married to Lauren Hamel,
00:10:03.37\00:10:04.73
we have seven children
all but one is married,
00:10:04.77\00:10:08.07
and we have seven grandchildren,
00:10:08.10\00:10:10.64
six grandchildren sorry.
00:10:10.67\00:10:12.17
Six grandchildren,
00:10:12.21\00:10:13.54
there's a picture of
your wonderful family.
00:10:13.58\00:10:15.04
Yes. Wow.
00:10:15.08\00:10:16.44
That's, that's a lot of
future right there mostly,
00:10:16.48\00:10:19.21
mostly guys, if
I'm looking correct.
00:10:19.25\00:10:20.88
Six boys, one girl.
00:10:20.92\00:10:22.25
Wow. She's got a
lot of protection.
00:10:22.28\00:10:24.25
Yeah.
00:10:24.29\00:10:25.62
Now, psychologists, you
mentioned psychologists,
00:10:25.65\00:10:29.52
then you also
mentioned missions.
00:10:29.56\00:10:32.06
But we talked about ministry.
00:10:32.09\00:10:34.56
Tell us your position,
00:10:34.60\00:10:35.93
you're also working
with the General Conference
00:10:35.96\00:10:37.63
of Seventh-day Adventists
00:10:37.67\00:10:39.00
and there might be somebody
watching that might not know
00:10:39.03\00:10:40.74
what the General Conference is.
00:10:40.77\00:10:42.40
What is the General Conference?
00:10:42.44\00:10:43.84
Okay.
00:10:43.87\00:10:45.21
The General Conference is the...
00:10:45.24\00:10:49.74
World headquarters.
00:10:49.78\00:10:51.11
World headquarters for the
Seventh-day Adventist Church,
00:10:51.15\00:10:54.02
and is responsible for
the church around the world
00:10:54.05\00:10:59.12
and it sends missionaries.
00:10:59.15\00:11:01.99
And, you know, we...
00:11:02.02\00:11:03.43
I'm a pastor also so
that comes into play.
00:11:03.46\00:11:05.63
I'm a part of the
General Conference,
00:11:05.66\00:11:07.00
you're part of the
General Conference,
00:11:07.03\00:11:08.36
but you work at
the General Conference.
00:11:08.40\00:11:09.73
Yes, I do.
00:11:09.76\00:11:11.10
As well as your practice
in Berrien Springs, Michigan,
00:11:11.13\00:11:13.50
I want to go back
into your early years of,
00:11:13.54\00:11:17.21
since missions is the
major focus of our program.
00:11:17.24\00:11:21.11
What college did you attend
00:11:21.14\00:11:23.55
in your preparatory
stages for mission or at least
00:11:23.58\00:11:27.25
when missions became a
very active part of your life?
00:11:27.28\00:11:29.98
I went to Southern
Adventist University.
00:11:30.02\00:11:32.62
I did a degree in
elementary education.
00:11:32.65\00:11:36.52
When I went to Southern,
00:11:36.56\00:11:37.89
at first I wanted to
become a psychiatrist
00:11:37.93\00:11:40.00
and I remember telling people
00:11:40.03\00:11:41.36
that I wanted to
be a psychiatrist.
00:11:41.40\00:11:42.96
And their response was,
00:11:43.00\00:11:44.33
"Why would you want to do that?
00:11:44.37\00:11:45.70
I thought you were a Christian."
00:11:45.73\00:11:47.07
So the split between religion
and psychology was very much
00:11:47.10\00:11:50.97
evident at that time.
00:11:51.01\00:11:52.51
And I was a Christian,
00:11:52.54\00:11:53.88
and I wanted to serve
the Lord with my life,
00:11:53.91\00:11:56.18
so I said change majors,
I'd got a degree in education.
00:11:56.21\00:11:59.15
Okay.
00:11:59.18\00:12:00.52
I married after
my sophomore year.
00:12:00.55\00:12:02.92
And during my
senior year in college,
00:12:02.95\00:12:04.85
we had a call to go to Africa.
00:12:04.89\00:12:06.76
We left the States on our
second wedding anniversary
00:12:06.79\00:12:09.66
and we flew to Belgium where
we spent a month studying French
00:12:09.69\00:12:12.56
before we traveled on
to Bujumbura, Burundi,
00:12:12.59\00:12:15.83
where we spent the next
three years of our lives.
00:12:15.86\00:12:18.17
Wow.
00:12:18.20\00:12:19.53
So you speak some French also.
00:12:19.57\00:12:20.90
I speak French. Okay.
00:12:20.94\00:12:22.77
Now the place that you
were called to in Africa
00:12:22.80\00:12:26.07
was it directly at
Rwanda immediately or...
00:12:26.11\00:12:28.84
No, we went to Burundi first,
00:12:28.88\00:12:30.45
Burundi is the
sister country to Rwanda,
00:12:30.48\00:12:32.81
it's just south of Rwanda.
00:12:32.85\00:12:34.42
Same people groups,
00:12:34.45\00:12:37.02
they speak very
similar languages
00:12:37.05\00:12:38.99
that one speaks Kirundi
00:12:39.02\00:12:41.76
and the other
speaks Kinyarwanda.
00:12:41.79\00:12:43.66
There is different
British and American English.
00:12:43.69\00:12:47.03
So the same people groups.
00:12:47.06\00:12:49.13
After we spent
three years in Burundi,
00:12:49.16\00:12:52.07
we were asked to move to Rwanda,
00:12:52.10\00:12:53.60
because at that time
the General Conference
00:12:53.64\00:12:55.84
had decided to build
a university in Africa
00:12:55.87\00:12:58.67
to serve French
speaking students of Africa
00:12:58.71\00:13:01.21
in the Indian Ocean.
00:13:01.24\00:13:02.94
And we moved there
00:13:02.98\00:13:04.31
and were a part of
building that institution.
00:13:04.35\00:13:08.05
Okay, now when a person thinks
00:13:08.08\00:13:09.62
about going to
the mission field.
00:13:09.65\00:13:11.55
Okay, here you are
in college in America.
00:13:11.59\00:13:14.02
What kind of
psychological change,
00:13:14.06\00:13:16.93
I mean the
mindset, you're thinking,
00:13:16.96\00:13:18.63
oh well, you know, I'm
going to a foreign country,
00:13:18.66\00:13:22.23
I'm preparing myself to
learn a foreign language.
00:13:22.26\00:13:25.43
I'm going to be
in a foreign field.
00:13:25.47\00:13:27.50
"How does that,
how does that pan out,
00:13:27.54\00:13:29.57
I mean, when we think
about going on vacation.
00:13:29.60\00:13:31.27
Let me do some comparisons,
00:13:31.31\00:13:32.64
we think okay, we put clothing.
00:13:32.67\00:13:34.88
What am I going to enjoy there,
00:13:34.91\00:13:36.24
but when you
think about missions,
00:13:36.28\00:13:37.81
this is more of a
permanence to that
00:13:37.85\00:13:40.18
than just a two
week vacation or a month
00:13:40.22\00:13:42.22
or one month furlough somewhere.
00:13:42.25\00:13:44.25
Well, let me back
up just a little bit.
00:13:44.29\00:13:45.62
Yeah.
00:13:45.65\00:13:46.99
I was born into a home
where my dad was Catholic.
00:13:47.02\00:13:48.89
My mom was Adventist,
00:13:48.92\00:13:51.43
so very early in life,
00:13:51.46\00:13:53.40
I developed a very
personal relationship with God,
00:13:53.43\00:13:56.23
I didn't know which one
of my parents was right.
00:13:56.26\00:13:59.10
And I remember asking the Lord,
00:13:59.13\00:14:00.64
how do I know how to find you?
00:14:00.67\00:14:03.87
How do I know
which way is right.
00:14:03.91\00:14:05.61
And I have a
memory of being very young
00:14:05.64\00:14:07.44
and the Lord saying to me,
and it wasn't an audible voice,
00:14:07.48\00:14:10.01
but it was very real poise.
00:14:10.05\00:14:11.68
He said, "I will
show you the way."
00:14:11.71\00:14:13.78
So I put my hand in His
00:14:13.82\00:14:15.82
and I have
allowed God to show me
00:14:15.85\00:14:18.72
His way in my
life since that time.
00:14:18.75\00:14:21.19
And as a young girl,
00:14:21.22\00:14:23.09
I remember seeing
the lives of the nuns
00:14:23.12\00:14:25.99
and admiring
their lives of sacrifice
00:14:26.03\00:14:28.63
and commitment to the Lord.
00:14:28.66\00:14:30.97
But when I was 14,
I became an Adventist
00:14:31.00\00:14:33.44
and Adventists don't have nuns.
00:14:33.47\00:14:35.10
That's right.
00:14:35.14\00:14:36.64
But when we received
our call to go to Africa,
00:14:36.67\00:14:39.34
I saw that is the Adventist
version of being a nun.
00:14:39.37\00:14:42.04
Wow.
00:14:42.08\00:14:43.41
Is the life of self sacrifice,
total commitment to the Lord,
00:14:43.45\00:14:47.05
so for me it
was a big sacrifice,
00:14:47.08\00:14:49.75
I had barely traveled
outside of South Carolina
00:14:49.78\00:14:52.55
when I went to Southern,
which was in Tennessee.
00:14:52.59\00:14:54.69
Right. Go to college.
00:14:54.72\00:14:56.09
So going to
Africa was a bit like
00:14:56.12\00:14:57.93
stepping off the
edge of the earth.
00:14:57.96\00:15:00.60
I had no idea what to expect.
00:15:00.63\00:15:02.76
You know, I had these
dreams of very remote places
00:15:02.80\00:15:06.70
and difficult
living circumstances,
00:15:06.74\00:15:10.74
I really didn't
know what to expect.
00:15:10.77\00:15:13.11
But, I had a desire to
serve God with my life.
00:15:13.14\00:15:16.88
I had a desire to
make sacrifices for Him,
00:15:16.91\00:15:20.65
because He had has and
had done so much in my life.
00:15:20.68\00:15:26.72
God was a very
personal friend to me.
00:15:26.76\00:15:30.16
I had many
instances where I knew
00:15:30.19\00:15:33.06
that God provided for my needs
00:15:33.09\00:15:34.80
and that He had
directed my pathway,
00:15:34.83\00:15:37.30
so going to
Africa was in many ways
00:15:37.33\00:15:39.37
a dream come true for me.
00:15:39.40\00:15:41.57
And so even though
there were challenges,
00:15:41.60\00:15:43.97
it was difficult to say
goodbye to family and friends,
00:15:44.01\00:15:47.34
I embraced it.
00:15:47.38\00:15:48.74
And as my husband
and I flew to Belgium
00:15:48.78\00:15:51.55
on our second
wedding anniversary,
00:15:51.58\00:15:54.22
our minds were
full of hopes and dreams
00:15:54.25\00:15:57.19
for serving the Lord
with our lives in Africa.
00:15:57.22\00:15:59.49
My husband was British,
00:15:59.52\00:16:00.86
he had moved to the
States to go to Southern
00:16:00.89\00:16:04.29
because Southern offered
more than the Adventist school
00:16:04.33\00:16:07.53
in England did.
00:16:07.56\00:16:09.80
And when we met, he
shared the same passion
00:16:09.83\00:16:13.60
to serve God that I did.
00:16:13.64\00:16:14.97
Wow.
00:16:15.00\00:16:16.34
So we both looked forward
00:16:16.37\00:16:17.71
to a lifetime of
service in Africa.
00:16:17.74\00:16:20.34
So now you feed on
the ground in Africa,
00:16:20.38\00:16:22.91
I mean with all
these hopes and dreams,
00:16:22.94\00:16:24.51
and I would say as a counselor
00:16:24.55\00:16:28.28
on my end idealistic at best.
00:16:28.32\00:16:31.85
How do you just dive in there
00:16:31.89\00:16:34.42
in start to get involved in
what's called missions, I mean,
00:16:34.46\00:16:39.33
what do you do?
00:16:39.36\00:16:40.70
What would you do to get
back to get started there?
00:16:40.73\00:16:43.57
Yeah.
00:16:43.60\00:16:45.90
Well, when we
arrived in Bujumbura,
00:16:45.93\00:16:48.10
I was 21 years
old, I felt very young.
00:16:48.14\00:16:51.94
The missionaries that we joined
there were all grandparents.
00:16:51.97\00:16:55.28
We were the youngest ones.
00:16:55.31\00:16:56.95
I remember once Swiss
missionary saying to me,
00:16:56.98\00:16:59.61
"You're the youngest
missionary I've ever met."
00:16:59.65\00:17:02.25
And I really felt young,
00:17:02.28\00:17:04.22
because there
was so much to learn.
00:17:04.25\00:17:06.55
We didn't, we had
spent a month studying French
00:17:06.59\00:17:08.79
which wasn't very long.
00:17:08.82\00:17:10.73
We had a lot to learn
00:17:10.76\00:17:13.43
and the first
year was really hard.
00:17:13.46\00:17:15.63
I have to admit
that it was hard.
00:17:15.66\00:17:19.70
The cultural
differences just seemed huge.
00:17:19.73\00:17:23.81
The separation from family
and friends seemed really, big.
00:17:23.84\00:17:27.74
That first Christmas
away from family was hard.
00:17:27.78\00:17:32.75
No snow for example.
00:17:32.78\00:17:34.22
No snow, you know
a tropical Christmas,
00:17:34.25\00:17:36.55
we had no Christmas decorations,
00:17:36.58\00:17:39.32
I remember some
other missionaries
00:17:39.35\00:17:42.06
gave us a string of lights
00:17:42.09\00:17:43.66
and I put it on
this banana plant
00:17:43.69\00:17:46.53
to make it somewhat Christmas,
00:17:46.56\00:17:48.16
so those kind of
things were hard.
00:17:48.20\00:17:51.10
But after the first
year, I had learned to love it.
00:17:51.13\00:17:54.87
I remember seeing
00:17:54.90\00:17:57.27
the
relationships with the people
00:17:57.31\00:17:59.14
that we interacted
with, this is my mission.
00:17:59.17\00:18:02.54
I remember bargaining
for about an hour one day
00:18:02.58\00:18:05.68
to by a bucket of lemons
and I did it all in French
00:18:05.71\00:18:09.28
and I was so pleased, I
bargained with this guy,
00:18:09.32\00:18:12.32
had a great
time learning French.
00:18:12.35\00:18:15.06
And afterwards I
showed my husband
00:18:15.09\00:18:17.46
this five gallon
bucketful of lemons and told him
00:18:17.49\00:18:20.16
that I'd done the
whole thing in French and he,
00:18:20.20\00:18:22.53
he laughed and
said, "That's great.
00:18:22.56\00:18:24.37
Did you forget that
we have a lemon tree?"
00:18:24.40\00:18:27.04
And I had, I've forgotten
that we had a lemon tree.
00:18:27.07\00:18:29.80
But I loved
learning to speak French.
00:18:29.84\00:18:33.01
I remember
learning Bible stories
00:18:33.04\00:18:35.41
and teaching Sabbath school
00:18:35.44\00:18:37.08
and having them
translated into Kirundi
00:18:37.11\00:18:39.68
but I loved being involved
00:18:39.71\00:18:41.05
with the church
and with the children.
00:18:41.08\00:18:45.15
So our time in
Burundi was beautiful time,
00:18:45.19\00:18:47.26
we loved it there.
00:18:47.29\00:18:49.49
We love the people,
00:18:49.52\00:18:50.86
we learnt to
love the environment.
00:18:50.89\00:18:52.99
We got used to the heat
00:18:53.03\00:18:55.10
and the market
and things like that.
00:18:55.13\00:18:57.83
In fact, I
learned to really enjoy
00:18:57.87\00:18:59.33
going to the market to buy food.
00:18:59.37\00:19:02.60
The market in Burundi?
00:19:02.64\00:19:04.31
Yes.
00:19:04.34\00:19:05.67
It's probably like the market
in certain parts of Brooklyn.
00:19:05.71\00:19:08.61
You know, it's
just a lot of people,
00:19:08.64\00:19:10.11
a lot of activity, a
lot of things happening
00:19:10.15\00:19:11.88
like the flea
market down in Miami.
00:19:11.91\00:19:13.38
Yeah.
00:19:13.42\00:19:14.75
There's all kind of
interaction but the reason
00:19:14.78\00:19:16.99
I wanted to talk about this
particular part of your life is
00:19:17.02\00:19:19.69
because you are
very much American
00:19:19.72\00:19:21.62
in a completely
different culture.
00:19:21.66\00:19:23.09
Yeah.
00:19:23.12\00:19:24.46
And there is that
point of no return
00:19:24.49\00:19:26.33
where all of a sudden
you say, "Okay, I'm here.
00:19:26.36\00:19:29.80
Let me just get used to it."
00:19:29.83\00:19:31.50
At after the one year point,
00:19:31.53\00:19:33.64
you feel that that was
where you kind of just said,
00:19:33.67\00:19:36.20
"Well, we're here.
Let's just make this home."
00:19:36.24\00:19:38.97
Yeah.
00:19:39.01\00:19:40.34
Even though I
wanted to the whole time,
00:19:40.38\00:19:42.34
there was a very
difficult transition period.
00:19:42.38\00:19:45.11
And I have to say that
00:19:45.15\00:19:47.15
my adult identity was
shaped and formed in Africa.
00:19:47.18\00:19:52.45
I was American.
00:19:52.49\00:19:53.82
But I begin to think
and feel very African.
00:19:53.86\00:19:58.69
And then after the three years
00:19:58.73\00:20:00.96
and we were asked
to move to Rwanda,
00:20:01.00\00:20:03.16
that move was
also a bit challenging
00:20:03.20\00:20:05.40
because I loved Burundi,
00:20:05.43\00:20:06.77
and I didn't want
to leave the people
00:20:06.80\00:20:08.14
that we've come to love there.
00:20:08.17\00:20:09.94
But we moved to
Burundi, I mean to Rwanda
00:20:09.97\00:20:12.87
and instead of
being in the capital city
00:20:12.91\00:20:15.41
as we were in Burundi,
00:20:15.44\00:20:16.78
we moved to the university site,
00:20:16.81\00:20:19.48
which was an
eight-hour drive on dirt roads
00:20:19.51\00:20:22.05
away from the capital.
00:20:22.08\00:20:24.09
We thought, we had
some hardships in Burundi,
00:20:24.12\00:20:26.52
because there were times
00:20:26.55\00:20:27.89
when the electricity
would go off for weeks at a time
00:20:27.92\00:20:30.66
and the water
would go off every day,
00:20:30.69\00:20:33.09
but only be on during the night,
00:20:33.13\00:20:35.56
but in Rwanda we
didn't have electricity
00:20:35.60\00:20:38.30
except by generator.
00:20:38.33\00:20:40.27
The water was very dirty.
00:20:40.30\00:20:43.07
There were times
when you couldn't see
00:20:43.10\00:20:44.44
the bottom of the bathtub,
00:20:44.47\00:20:45.81
so we had other
challenges there.
00:20:45.84\00:20:47.54
We moved there
when the university
00:20:47.58\00:20:49.28
was under construction.
00:20:49.31\00:20:50.91
We moved into the home
of the university president
00:20:50.95\00:20:54.58
who was the first one there,
and he had a two bedroom home
00:20:54.62\00:20:57.59
and we moved there
00:20:57.62\00:20:59.09
when our oldest son
was eight-months old.
00:20:59.12\00:21:01.92
We've had our first son
00:21:01.96\00:21:03.63
while we were living in Burundi.
00:21:03.66\00:21:05.93
We moved to Rwanda when
he was eight-months old.
00:21:05.96\00:21:08.76
We moved into
their home with them.
00:21:08.80\00:21:10.67
A couple of weeks
later a third family
00:21:10.70\00:21:12.47
moved into their
two bedroom home.
00:21:12.50\00:21:15.27
And so at that
point the third couple
00:21:15.30\00:21:17.67
was also a couple from Southern
00:21:17.71\00:21:19.07
that we had gone to school with.
00:21:19.11\00:21:20.98
We moved out of the
university site together
00:21:21.01\00:21:23.65
into a very
much unfinished home.
00:21:23.68\00:21:25.71
So we had the unique privilege
of being the first missionaries
00:21:25.75\00:21:29.12
to move on to the campus
00:21:29.15\00:21:30.62
of the Adventist
University of Central Africa.
00:21:30.65\00:21:32.95
You know, I'm thinking
of the living conditions
00:21:32.99\00:21:35.32
for an infant, for a child
00:21:35.36\00:21:38.93
and that was
being your first child.
00:21:38.96\00:21:41.70
I'm I correct? Yeah.
00:21:41.73\00:21:43.06
How did you handle that,
because I know in America,
00:21:43.10\00:21:45.80
you know, when a
mother has her first child
00:21:45.83\00:21:47.64
or a family have
their first child
00:21:47.67\00:21:49.20
and they go to the hospital.
00:21:49.24\00:21:50.57
You know, wash your hands,
00:21:50.61\00:21:53.51
put on a mask,
don't touch my baby.
00:21:53.54\00:21:56.28
Do you have a cold?
00:21:56.31\00:21:58.18
You're in a situation
quite more adverse than that.
00:21:58.21\00:22:01.85
I mean you're not
worrying about a cough.
00:22:01.88\00:22:04.12
You're worrying about
the color of the water.
00:22:04.15\00:22:06.32
How did that pan
off for missionary mom?
00:22:06.35\00:22:08.92
Well, I actually
was not brave enough
00:22:08.96\00:22:11.19
to have my first son in Africa.
00:22:11.23\00:22:13.13
We planned his
birth, so that I was home,
00:22:13.16\00:22:15.60
so he was born in the same city
00:22:15.63\00:22:17.17
that I was born
in, in South Carolina.
00:22:17.20\00:22:18.97
Okay, I got it.
00:22:19.00\00:22:20.34
But we went back to Africa
when he was one-month old.
00:22:20.37\00:22:22.57
Okay.
00:22:22.60\00:22:23.94
So for all intents and purposes.
00:22:23.97\00:22:25.31
Yes, we went back
when he was one-month old,
00:22:25.34\00:22:27.51
and there were those challenges.
00:22:27.54\00:22:31.48
Giving him a bath that
00:22:31.51\00:22:33.52
the water wasn't
clean that was...
00:22:33.55\00:22:35.58
Mineral bath.
00:22:35.62\00:22:36.95
Yeah.
00:22:36.99\00:22:38.32
And I remember when
we moved into our home.
00:22:38.35\00:22:41.52
There wasn't a place that
was really safe to put him down
00:22:41.56\00:22:44.39
and he didn't walk
until he was 18-months old
00:22:44.43\00:22:47.40
because I
carried him all the time.
00:22:47.43\00:22:49.36
Right, just because of
the condition there in.
00:22:49.40\00:22:51.47
Yeah, and I didn't
realize that was abnormal
00:22:51.50\00:22:54.30
because the African mothers
carried their babies too.
00:22:54.34\00:22:57.64
It was only later that
00:22:57.67\00:22:59.01
I realized that babies
walk much earlier than that,
00:22:59.04\00:23:01.44
but he didn't have
much opportunity to
00:23:01.48\00:23:03.85
because there
weren't too many places.
00:23:03.88\00:23:06.25
Our home was still
a construction site.
00:23:06.28\00:23:09.02
But we managed
it, it was a challenge
00:23:09.05\00:23:11.39
and we embraced the challenge.
00:23:11.42\00:23:13.69
Now your husband
is a British citizen.
00:23:13.72\00:23:15.32
Yeah.
00:23:15.36\00:23:16.69
How, how did he acclimate?
00:23:16.73\00:23:18.06
What was he doing
actually while he was there?
00:23:18.09\00:23:19.43
Well, when we...
00:23:19.46\00:23:20.80
he was the
assistant business manager
00:23:20.83\00:23:23.83
when we first moved there,
00:23:23.87\00:23:25.20
but he was the chairmen
of the business department
00:23:25.23\00:23:27.44
when the school opened.
00:23:27.47\00:23:28.80
So the first two years,
00:23:28.84\00:23:30.17
we were involved
simply in the building
00:23:30.21\00:23:31.71
and the
construction of the university.
00:23:31.74\00:23:34.54
But after two years,
00:23:34.58\00:23:35.91
we were able to open
the doors to students,
00:23:35.94\00:23:37.98
that was in 1984.
00:23:38.01\00:23:39.88
And the school
opened, we had students from
00:23:39.91\00:23:43.02
15 different countries in Africa
00:23:43.05\00:23:44.92
and the Indian Ocean
they came to the school.
00:23:44.95\00:23:49.09
And that was a privilege.
00:23:49.12\00:23:50.46
He chaired the
business department.
00:23:50.49\00:23:53.29
We had a study leave to
Andrews during that time,
00:23:53.33\00:23:55.56
where my husband got MBA
00:23:55.60\00:23:58.23
and masters in
Information Science.
00:23:58.27\00:24:01.64
And I learnt to, to love Rwanda.
00:24:01.67\00:24:05.81
In fact, there were
times when I felt like
00:24:05.84\00:24:07.68
God had created and designed
me to be a missionary in Africa,
00:24:07.71\00:24:11.41
it fit who I was.
00:24:11.45\00:24:12.78
Wow.
00:24:12.81\00:24:14.15
So Rwanda is now home
for you and your husband
00:24:14.18\00:24:16.72
and your new child who is a son.
00:24:16.75\00:24:19.22
Yes.
00:24:19.25\00:24:20.59
And the school is still
not completely finished,
00:24:20.62\00:24:22.29
but you have
quite an international
00:24:22.32\00:24:24.09
contingency of students
anyway to come to school there.
00:24:24.13\00:24:27.13
Yeah.
00:24:27.16\00:24:28.50
And not only was our,
we were with our first son,
00:24:28.53\00:24:32.03
we had a second
and a third son there.
00:24:32.07\00:24:34.64
And by that time, I was brave
enough to have them in Africa.
00:24:34.67\00:24:37.84
The second son was born
in a little African hospital
00:24:37.87\00:24:41.51
not far from our campus,
00:24:41.54\00:24:43.35
and the third son
was born in our home
00:24:43.38\00:24:45.21
there at the university.
00:24:45.25\00:24:47.02
So they're African-American.
00:24:47.05\00:24:49.02
They are African-American.
00:24:49.05\00:24:51.29
One of my sons recently,
he had to fill out a census
00:24:51.32\00:24:53.86
and he checked that
he was African-American.
00:24:53.89\00:24:56.26
See, so it's not,
it's not a category
00:24:56.29\00:24:58.59
that's necessarily
skin color related.
00:24:58.63\00:25:00.46
No.
00:25:00.50\00:25:01.83
But really by nationality. Yeah.
00:25:01.86\00:25:03.40
That's
interesting, so here you are,
00:25:03.43\00:25:05.53
things are
getting off the ground.
00:25:05.57\00:25:06.90
You're getting acclimated,
00:25:06.94\00:25:08.70
you're steamrolling
three, four, five years into,
00:25:08.74\00:25:12.54
but somewhere along the way
00:25:12.57\00:25:14.18
a major trauma
came to your family.
00:25:14.21\00:25:16.68
Let's kind of fast forward
00:25:16.71\00:25:18.95
to this particular turning point
00:25:18.98\00:25:22.35
event in your life.
00:25:22.38\00:25:24.09
Well, you know, I had
learned to love Rwanda so much.
00:25:24.12\00:25:27.46
I love the people, I
love the students there.
00:25:27.49\00:25:30.26
It felt really fulfilling
to be a part of something
00:25:30.29\00:25:33.40
bigger than we were.
00:25:33.43\00:25:34.76
To be a part of an institution
that was training students
00:25:34.80\00:25:38.93
that would take the gospel
to the far corners of Africa
00:25:38.97\00:25:42.74
and the Indian Ocean.
00:25:42.77\00:25:44.27
And there were times
00:25:44.31\00:25:45.64
that I felt like I
couldn't be happier.
00:25:45.67\00:25:47.01
I loved being the
mother of three little boys,
00:25:47.04\00:25:49.54
they were adorable,
and I just loved it.
00:25:49.58\00:25:52.88
And I remember talking
with the Lord and saying,
00:25:52.91\00:25:56.18
"Lord, I'm
willing to go anywhere,
00:25:56.22\00:25:58.15
do anything as
long as my husband
00:25:58.19\00:26:00.16
and our three
little boys are together."
00:26:00.19\00:26:04.33
And there were
times when I felt like
00:26:04.36\00:26:06.19
heaven couldn't be better
than what I was experiencing.
00:26:06.23\00:26:08.93
I didn't need streets of
gold, the dirt roads were okay.
00:26:08.96\00:26:12.97
But in reality,
we're not in heaven yet.
00:26:13.00\00:26:16.10
We may have a piece of heaven.
00:26:16.14\00:26:18.11
The Adventist home says that
00:26:18.14\00:26:19.64
a Christian home is
like a bit of heaven
00:26:19.67\00:26:21.91
and I experience that.
00:26:21.94\00:26:23.88
But then in 1990,
00:26:23.91\00:26:26.65
we made a decision to go
and visit Victoria Falls.
00:26:26.68\00:26:30.75
My mother-in-law had
written and said that my,
00:26:30.79\00:26:33.86
my husband's uncle
was moving to Zambia.
00:26:33.89\00:26:36.02
So we made the
decision to take this trip,
00:26:36.06\00:26:38.39
and it was a long
trip, and traveling to Africa
00:26:38.43\00:26:40.70
during that time could be risky.
00:26:40.73\00:26:43.87
Good friends of ours
also decided to go with us.
00:26:43.90\00:26:46.27
They had three
small children as well.
00:26:46.30\00:26:48.80
So we made plans for this trip.
00:26:48.84\00:26:51.51
And it was at
that during the time
00:26:51.54\00:26:53.04
of the General Conference
in Indianapolis in 1990,
00:26:53.07\00:26:56.95
and the number of missionaries
planned their furloughs.
00:26:56.98\00:26:59.18
At that time we have
furloughs every three years.
00:26:59.21\00:27:01.18
Okay.
00:27:01.22\00:27:02.55
They planned that so
that they could attend
00:27:02.58\00:27:04.15
the General Conference session.
00:27:04.19\00:27:05.85
So quite a few people were away,
00:27:05.89\00:27:08.39
it was during the summer.
00:27:08.42\00:27:10.06
And we prayed about it.
00:27:10.09\00:27:11.43
My husband was acting
00:27:11.46\00:27:12.79
as the business
manager at that time.
00:27:12.83\00:27:14.33
And we felt that
God led us on the trip.
00:27:14.36\00:27:19.57
We always prayed
about things like that.
00:27:19.60\00:27:22.57
And I remember
saying to the Lord,
00:27:22.60\00:27:24.94
if you don't want us
to go, just let us know
00:27:24.97\00:27:27.68
because we don't want to
step outside of Your will
00:27:27.71\00:27:32.05
in anything that we do.
00:27:32.08\00:27:33.82
We went on the trip,
we had a wonderful time
00:27:33.85\00:27:37.32
traveling through Tanzania,
00:27:37.35\00:27:38.69
the game parks in
Tanzania are magnificent.
00:27:38.72\00:27:42.86
The animals were wonderful
and the three little boys.
00:27:42.89\00:27:45.56
It was once again
like a bit of heaven.
00:27:45.59\00:27:47.13
That's true.
00:27:47.16\00:27:48.50
And we camped much of the time
00:27:48.53\00:27:51.00
Victoria Falls was fantastic.
00:27:51.03\00:27:55.34
But our last...
00:27:55.37\00:27:56.71
the last day of our
trip, we stopped at noon,
00:27:56.74\00:28:00.24
and we could see
the mountains of Rwanda.
00:28:00.28\00:28:02.84
And we prayed and we thank
God for safe and enjoyable trip.
00:28:02.88\00:28:07.58
We were hurrying home,
we traveled long that day,
00:28:07.62\00:28:10.15
we've gotten up
early in the morning.
00:28:10.19\00:28:12.59
And we're trying to
make it to the border,
00:28:12.62\00:28:14.39
that Rwanda Tanzania border,
00:28:14.42\00:28:16.06
because they
close it at sundown.
00:28:16.09\00:28:18.19
And we wanted to
cross the border,
00:28:18.23\00:28:19.59
because inside Rwanda
there was a newly paved road,
00:28:19.63\00:28:22.90
the roads in Tanzania were paved
00:28:22.93\00:28:25.83
but they were not newly paved,
00:28:25.87\00:28:27.34
they were more
reinforced potholes.
00:28:27.37\00:28:30.57
So we were looking
forward to getting into Rwanda,
00:28:30.61\00:28:33.88
and a half hour's drive
inside Rwanda there was a hotel
00:28:33.91\00:28:37.48
inside Rwanda's only game park.
00:28:37.51\00:28:40.42
I think it had one elephant
that Tanzania gave to it,
00:28:40.45\00:28:44.15
it wasn't a very big game park.
00:28:44.19\00:28:46.32
But it had a nice hotel
and we were looking forward
00:28:46.35\00:28:48.69
to sleeping in
the bed that night.
00:28:48.72\00:28:51.49
And having a shower and
spending the Sabbath there.
00:28:51.53\00:28:57.23
I remember us reaching
the border right at sundown.
00:28:57.27\00:29:00.47
I can still see
my husband's face
00:29:00.50\00:29:02.30
coming out of
the passport office
00:29:02.34\00:29:04.61
with his passport, my passport
and our three son's passports.
00:29:04.64\00:29:08.58
He had a big smile on his face
00:29:08.61\00:29:10.65
and we were looking forward
to resting well that night.
00:29:10.68\00:29:14.42
My next memory
though is awakening
00:29:14.45\00:29:16.79
in a hospital bed in Brussels.
00:29:16.82\00:29:18.69
I didn't know where I
was or how I've gotten there.
00:29:18.72\00:29:21.46
I learned that our family had
00:29:21.49\00:29:23.43
had a head on
collision with a truck
00:29:23.46\00:29:25.56
and that my husband
had been killed instantly.
00:29:25.59\00:29:28.20
This is a
picture of that accident.
00:29:28.23\00:29:30.17
Yeah. Wow.
00:29:30.20\00:29:32.10
Yeah.
00:29:32.13\00:29:35.64
My three year old son,
00:29:35.67\00:29:37.57
I learned was
four floors above me
00:29:37.61\00:29:39.61
in the pediatric's unit,
00:29:39.64\00:29:41.58
His skull was
fractured, his leg was crushed
00:29:41.61\00:29:44.31
and two toes were missing.
00:29:44.35\00:29:46.28
My six year old and
my eight year old sons
00:29:46.31\00:29:48.45
were the only two family members
00:29:48.48\00:29:50.09
at their father's funeral.
00:29:50.12\00:29:51.79
When we had been
camping in Tanzania on this trip
00:29:51.82\00:29:56.89
we would put our...
00:29:56.93\00:29:58.26
we would have worship
with our six children,
00:29:58.29\00:30:00.60
we put them to bed
00:30:00.63\00:30:01.96
and then we would
sit around the campfire,
00:30:02.00\00:30:03.83
and share how God
had lead in our lives.
00:30:03.87\00:30:06.40
And my husband and I had shared
00:30:06.43\00:30:07.97
that if anything
ever happened to us
00:30:08.00\00:30:10.04
that we wanted to
be buried in Africa.
00:30:10.07\00:30:13.24
That was the
desire of both of us.
00:30:13.27\00:30:16.98
We had no idea at that time
00:30:17.01\00:30:18.68
that would be useful
information to our friends
00:30:18.71\00:30:21.58
but my husband was
British, I was American.
00:30:21.62\00:30:24.55
Where would we, you know...
00:30:24.59\00:30:26.35
Right.
00:30:26.39\00:30:27.72
Africa was our home,
so our friends knew that,
00:30:27.76\00:30:30.86
and so, before I
regained consciousness
00:30:30.89\00:30:34.53
in the hospital in Belgium,
00:30:34.56\00:30:36.23
they had already
buried my husband in Rwanda.
00:30:36.26\00:30:38.43
Wow.
00:30:38.47\00:30:40.57
When I regained consciousness...
00:30:40.60\00:30:44.51
it was overwhelming to me.
00:30:44.54\00:30:46.44
You know, I had always seen God
00:30:46.47\00:30:49.98
as a loving
protective Heavenly Father
00:30:50.01\00:30:54.38
who provided for my
needs, who guided my footsteps,
00:30:54.42\00:30:58.29
who had honored me
00:30:58.32\00:30:59.69
with the privilege of
serving Him in Africa.
00:30:59.72\00:31:02.36
And it did not
fit what had happened.
00:31:02.39\00:31:05.19
So I was not only
in an emotional crisis,
00:31:05.23\00:31:08.40
I was also in a
spiritual crisis.
00:31:08.43\00:31:11.07
The two weeks that I
spent in the hospital in Belgium
00:31:11.10\00:31:13.44
were the worst
two weeks in my life.
00:31:13.47\00:31:16.77
I wrestled with God
where, where are you?
00:31:16.81\00:31:20.48
Why did you let this happen?
00:31:20.51\00:31:22.71
It didn't make sense.
00:31:22.74\00:31:24.08
I knew missionaries who
didn't like being missionaries,
00:31:24.11\00:31:26.88
who didn't enjoy the
market, and the difficulties,
00:31:26.92\00:31:29.28
and the challenges of living
00:31:29.32\00:31:31.15
in a very impoverished
third world country.
00:31:31.19\00:31:34.09
But I loved it and
why couldn't I be there.
00:31:34.12\00:31:37.09
I long to go back to Africa,
00:31:37.13\00:31:39.26
but I knew that
Africa didn't need a widow
00:31:39.29\00:31:41.20
with three young children.
00:31:41.23\00:31:43.20
They needed my husband
and they would need my house
00:31:43.23\00:31:45.87
for the next missionary
that would take his place.
00:31:45.90\00:31:48.97
So I struggled with the Lord.
00:31:49.00\00:31:53.14
After two weeks in Belgium,
00:31:53.17\00:31:54.64
we were
transferred to a hospital
00:31:54.68\00:31:56.54
in South Carolina.
00:31:56.58\00:31:57.91
And let me back up just a bit.
00:31:57.95\00:32:00.15
I said, "I didn't think
I knew anyone in Belgium."
00:32:00.18\00:32:03.55
There was a missionary in Rwanda
00:32:03.59\00:32:04.95
that was from Belgium.
00:32:04.99\00:32:06.49
He contacted his church
00:32:06.52\00:32:08.42
and every day
someone from there,
00:32:08.46\00:32:10.93
his church there in Brussels
came to visit my son and me.
00:32:10.96\00:32:17.50
The president of
the Belgium Conference
00:32:17.53\00:32:19.43
and his wife came
and visited every day.
00:32:19.47\00:32:23.54
They ministered, they
represented Christ to me.
00:32:23.57\00:32:27.98
I felt abandoned by God,
but God had not abandoned me,
00:32:28.01\00:32:32.78
He was there in the
person of these individuals
00:32:32.81\00:32:36.58
who came and cared for us.
00:32:36.62\00:32:38.45
When we were
transferred to South Carolina,
00:32:38.49\00:32:40.42
we spent two more
weeks in the hospital there.
00:32:40.46\00:32:45.33
And a huge issue for
me was, where will I live?
00:32:45.36\00:32:49.63
We had spent...
00:32:49.66\00:32:52.33
We had flown to Belgium on
our second wedding anniversary.
00:32:52.37\00:32:55.14
I was in Belgium again on
our 13th wedding anniversary.
00:32:55.17\00:32:58.44
When we went to Belgium,
00:32:58.47\00:33:00.01
our hearts were full of
dreams and plans for our future.
00:33:00.04\00:33:06.35
On our 13th my
dreams had been shattered.
00:33:06.38\00:33:10.09
Instead of hope was
filled with despair.
00:33:10.12\00:33:12.69
I didn't know what
God had in mind for me.
00:33:12.72\00:33:16.99
I didn't know if
I could trust God.
00:33:17.03\00:33:18.86
Wow.
00:33:18.89\00:33:20.23
That's, you know, that's a
traumatic intersection to be at
00:33:20.26\00:33:23.20
because you mentioned that even
00:33:23.23\00:33:25.13
you couldn't even
go to the funeral.
00:33:25.17\00:33:26.60
No.
00:33:26.63\00:33:27.97
You know, you were
able to a while after that,
00:33:28.00\00:33:30.94
I think we have a
picture of you by the graveside.
00:33:30.97\00:33:33.17
Yeah, it was
actually a year later,
00:33:33.21\00:33:35.78
when I was strong enough
00:33:35.81\00:33:38.08
to take care of
myself and my boys,
00:33:38.11\00:33:40.15
and able to make
the trip back to Africa
00:33:40.18\00:33:42.52
to say goodbye
to our lives there
00:33:42.55\00:33:45.85
and get our belongings,
war had broken out in Rwanda.
00:33:45.89\00:33:52.03
So it was a whole year later,
00:33:52.06\00:33:53.86
before I was able
to go back to Rwanda
00:33:53.90\00:33:56.36
to see my husband's
grave for the first time.
00:33:56.40\00:33:59.17
And to say goodbye
to our lives there.
00:33:59.20\00:34:02.37
I think you have
a graphic of that.
00:34:02.40\00:34:03.74
Yeah.
00:34:03.77\00:34:05.11
Yeah, of you standing.
00:34:05.14\00:34:06.61
That's where he
was buried right there.
00:34:06.64\00:34:08.08
Yeah.
00:34:08.11\00:34:09.44
In Rwanda and that's...?
00:34:09.48\00:34:10.81
That was a year
after he was buried.
00:34:10.85\00:34:12.88
And it was the first
time that I saw his funeral.
00:34:12.91\00:34:15.18
And you're companied by
some of the people there?
00:34:15.22\00:34:16.55
Yeah.
00:34:16.58\00:34:17.92
These were workers there,
when I first went to the grave,
00:34:17.95\00:34:19.52
I wanted to go by
myself without my son,
00:34:19.55\00:34:22.12
so without anyone else,
00:34:22.16\00:34:23.49
I just wanted time
by myself by the grave.
00:34:23.53\00:34:26.29
But when I got there,
00:34:26.33\00:34:27.66
these men were all there working
00:34:27.70\00:34:29.53
and they just stepped
back and let me grief.
00:34:29.56\00:34:35.10
And then after I had spent
some time alone with the grave,
00:34:35.14\00:34:37.61
I looked up at them
and they all surrounded me
00:34:37.64\00:34:40.38
and wept with me,
which was very, very healing.
00:34:40.41\00:34:43.95
Because part of the challenge
of coming back to the States
00:34:43.98\00:34:46.88
after a traumatic
event like this is,
00:34:46.92\00:34:49.42
even though I was American,
I no longer felt American.
00:34:49.45\00:34:53.36
And I no longer had a
support system in the States.
00:34:53.39\00:34:59.13
I was 21 when
we left the States.
00:34:59.16\00:35:02.40
I was 32 when I came back
00:35:02.43\00:35:04.07
as a widow with
three little boys.
00:35:04.10\00:35:07.10
I didn't know how
to live in America.
00:35:07.14\00:35:09.87
I had a degree in elementary
education from Southern.
00:35:09.90\00:35:14.18
But I hadn't bothered
getting certification,
00:35:14.21\00:35:17.15
because I was going to Africa.
00:35:17.18\00:35:19.01
So I would have to go
back to get certified,
00:35:19.05\00:35:22.68
I wasn't in a
position to work at that time,
00:35:22.72\00:35:25.49
I just really
struggled with what,
00:35:25.52\00:35:27.46
how will I live in the States?
00:35:27.49\00:35:29.62
What will I do?
00:35:29.66\00:35:32.63
After going back to Africa
and seeing my husband's grave,
00:35:32.66\00:35:36.83
I was able to say
goodbye to our life there.
00:35:36.87\00:35:39.83
And was in a position
then to allow God to begin,
00:35:39.87\00:35:44.11
to rebuild my
life in the States.
00:35:44.14\00:35:46.01
Wow.
00:35:46.04\00:35:47.38
And the rebuilding
was an amazing rebuilding
00:35:47.41\00:35:49.28
because here you are at
an intersection in reality,
00:35:49.31\00:35:53.62
closing one door,
00:35:53.65\00:35:55.22
which in fact
emotionally as a psychologist,
00:35:55.25\00:35:57.82
you know that there
are indelible strings
00:35:57.85\00:36:00.76
connected to that past
that will never be severed.
00:36:00.79\00:36:06.93
But then you get to the point
00:36:06.96\00:36:08.96
where at that same intersection,
00:36:09.00\00:36:11.53
you have to say, "Well, I
have to continue to live."
00:36:11.57\00:36:13.50
Yeah.
00:36:13.54\00:36:14.87
And there were certain strides,
00:36:14.90\00:36:16.24
you made some
tremendous strides,
00:36:16.27\00:36:17.61
you went back to school.
00:36:17.64\00:36:18.97
I did.
00:36:19.01\00:36:20.34
Talk about that? Yeah.
00:36:20.38\00:36:21.71
Well, I moved to Andrews
00:36:21.74\00:36:23.41
and there's a
whole long story of
00:36:23.45\00:36:24.91
how I moved to Andrews
and how God led in that.
00:36:24.95\00:36:28.45
But I moved to Andrews,
00:36:28.48\00:36:29.82
and I began to
take psychology courses.
00:36:29.85\00:36:32.82
As I mentioned earlier
00:36:32.85\00:36:34.19
when I first went to a Southern,
00:36:34.22\00:36:35.86
I had interest in
becoming a psychiatrist.
00:36:35.89\00:36:37.99
At that time, I actually
didn't know the difference
00:36:38.03\00:36:39.79
between
psychology and psychiatry.
00:36:39.83\00:36:41.53
Very interesting. Yeah.
00:36:41.56\00:36:43.90
In a nutshell,
what's the difference?
00:36:43.93\00:36:45.70
The psychiatrist
has a medical degree,
00:36:45.73\00:36:47.74
becomes a medical doctor,
00:36:47.77\00:36:49.20
and a
psychologist doesn't have that
00:36:49.24\00:36:51.74
and they learned
how the mind works.
00:36:51.77\00:36:55.01
Okay. Yeah.
00:36:55.04\00:36:56.64
And they treat using
psychotherapy, not medications.
00:36:56.68\00:36:59.98
I got you. Yeah.
00:37:00.02\00:37:01.38
And that's really
what I wanted to do.
00:37:01.42\00:37:03.18
I wanted to be able
to help the mind healthy.
00:37:03.22\00:37:05.92
I believe that God
created the mind to heal itself
00:37:05.95\00:37:08.66
just as much as He
created the body to heal.
00:37:08.69\00:37:12.53
And if you get a cut, the
doctor may clean the wound
00:37:12.56\00:37:16.00
and stitch it up.
00:37:16.03\00:37:17.47
But the body
heals through and God
00:37:17.50\00:37:20.44
works through the
body to heal itself.
00:37:20.47\00:37:22.54
And a psychologist
may help clean the wounds
00:37:22.57\00:37:26.04
and they help stitch it up,
00:37:26.07\00:37:27.41
but God has created us to heal.
00:37:27.44\00:37:30.28
And so I wanted to be
a part of that process.
00:37:30.31\00:37:32.75
Wow.
00:37:32.78\00:37:34.12
It's a very
nurturing aspect of life also.
00:37:34.15\00:37:36.45
So here you are on the
frontier of starting over.
00:37:36.48\00:37:39.69
You've got your
degree in psychology,
00:37:39.72\00:37:41.32
but then also, you
added another degree.
00:37:41.36\00:37:44.16
Tell me what that was?
00:37:44.19\00:37:45.66
I did a Doctor of
Ministry degree later,
00:37:45.69\00:37:48.60
but when I did
the psychology degree.
00:37:48.63\00:37:52.50
I think you asked me
too about my remarriage.
00:37:52.53\00:37:54.44
Yes.
00:37:54.47\00:37:55.80
Yes. Yes.
00:37:55.84\00:37:59.01
I began working on
the degree in psychology
00:37:59.04\00:38:01.11
and then, you know,
00:38:01.14\00:38:02.48
my goal was to find
a new mission in life,
00:38:02.51\00:38:06.78
and God put a new
mission in my heart,
00:38:06.82\00:38:08.88
in the lives,
in hearts of people
00:38:08.92\00:38:10.69
who are hurting because,
that is a mission field.
00:38:10.72\00:38:14.02
That's right.
00:38:14.06\00:38:15.59
But I do want to
share one little bit
00:38:15.62\00:38:16.99
that I forgot to tell you about.
00:38:17.03\00:38:21.06
A few months after
my husband was killed,
00:38:21.10\00:38:23.00
my oldest son came to me.
00:38:23.03\00:38:24.80
And he said mommy,
00:38:24.83\00:38:26.47
"Do you think you
could find a really nice man
00:38:26.50\00:38:28.54
and marry him, so I
could have a daddy again."
00:38:28.57\00:38:30.57
Wow.
00:38:30.61\00:38:31.94
That just pierced my
heart because more than anything
00:38:31.97\00:38:34.38
I wanted my sons
to have their father.
00:38:34.41\00:38:36.85
And how do you go about finding
a daddy for your children?
00:38:36.88\00:38:40.05
And I didn't know what to say.
00:38:40.08\00:38:41.42
Before I could
say anything he said,
00:38:41.45\00:38:42.78
"I know mom, that
would be really hard to do,
00:38:42.82\00:38:44.82
it would be really hard to find,
00:38:44.85\00:38:46.39
ever find a man
as nice as my daddy."
00:38:46.42\00:38:49.16
But it's not too hard for God.
00:38:49.19\00:38:50.89
That's right.
00:38:50.93\00:38:53.06
When we first moved to
Andrews, I made an appointment
00:38:53.09\00:38:56.53
that I tried to
make an appointment
00:38:56.56\00:38:58.77
at the medical center
there to see the doctor
00:38:58.80\00:39:01.27
and my sons and I all still
00:39:01.30\00:39:04.27
needed quite a
bit of medical care.
00:39:04.31\00:39:06.24
And the receptionist said,
00:39:06.27\00:39:09.34
"The doctor is not
taking new patients."
00:39:09.38\00:39:11.28
So I asked.
00:39:11.31\00:39:14.48
She asked my
name for some reason,
00:39:14.52\00:39:15.92
I told her and she
happened to be the sister
00:39:15.95\00:39:17.55
of a missionary in Rwanda,
00:39:17.59\00:39:18.92
and she said, "I
know who you are.
00:39:18.95\00:39:20.29
I'm sure the doctor
will want to see you."
00:39:20.32\00:39:22.46
In any case made an
appointment with that doctor
00:39:22.49\00:39:25.66
and five years later we married.
00:39:25.69\00:39:29.46
Wow.
00:39:29.50\00:39:31.17
So the Lord did find as
nothing is impossible for God,
00:39:31.20\00:39:35.94
did find a wonderful man
00:39:35.97\00:39:37.57
to take the
role of being the dad
00:39:37.61\00:39:40.71
and also your husband.
00:39:40.74\00:39:42.08
Yes.
00:39:42.11\00:39:43.45
How healing was that.
00:39:43.48\00:39:44.81
Incredibly so because the part,
00:39:44.85\00:39:46.88
the thing that really
touched my heart was the Christ
00:39:46.92\00:39:49.72
like tender and gentle way
that He interacted with my sons,
00:39:49.75\00:39:53.72
that just really won my heart.
00:39:53.76\00:39:55.52
And in fact, our first date,
00:39:55.56\00:39:57.99
he asked to take my
boys and me to an air show
00:39:58.03\00:40:01.23
because he understood the
needs of three little boys
00:40:01.26\00:40:06.23
and that was an
incredible blessing to me.
00:40:06.27\00:40:10.21
I did my first dissertation
on marital satisfaction
00:40:10.24\00:40:12.77
and remarried families.
00:40:12.81\00:40:14.71
My husband was a single
father of four children,
00:40:14.74\00:40:17.28
three sons and a
daughter, and I had three sons
00:40:17.31\00:40:20.25
so we blended our seven children
00:40:20.28\00:40:22.32
into a family of nine.
00:40:22.35\00:40:24.42
That's a blessing. Yeah.
00:40:24.45\00:40:25.89
So you have a
healthy family today.
00:40:25.92\00:40:27.66
Yes.
00:40:27.69\00:40:29.02
And both of you are
still involved in the missions.
00:40:29.06\00:40:30.66
Yeah.
00:40:30.69\00:40:32.53
My husband actually is no longer
00:40:32.56\00:40:34.76
a practicing physician,
00:40:34.80\00:40:36.13
he's the hospital
president of Lakeland Healthcare
00:40:36.16\00:40:38.23
in southwest of Michigan
hospital little system there.
00:40:38.27\00:40:41.37
But he is very, very supportive
of my work with missionaries.
00:40:41.40\00:40:46.01
And I'll just back up a
bit, after I finished my degree,
00:40:46.04\00:40:48.68
I began working with
Adventist Frontier Missions,
00:40:48.71\00:40:51.41
providing mental healthcare
for their missionaries,
00:40:51.45\00:40:53.82
and with the General
Conference doing missionary care
00:40:53.85\00:40:57.65
for their missionaries
in crisis intervention.
00:40:57.69\00:41:00.56
So that's what I do today.
00:41:00.59\00:41:02.32
I'm almost full time
with the General Conference.
00:41:02.36\00:41:04.89
Now I have a very, very small
practice in Berrien Springs.
00:41:04.93\00:41:09.86
And I live in Berrien Springs,
because most of my work is
00:41:09.90\00:41:12.67
traveling to
where missionaries are.
00:41:12.70\00:41:14.60
Now talk about that
for a moment because we,
00:41:14.64\00:41:16.94
we talked about the traumas
of going to the mission field.
00:41:16.97\00:41:20.74
But then there are traumas
coming from the mission field,
00:41:20.78\00:41:24.18
and that's a lot of
what you deal with today
00:41:24.21\00:41:25.88
helping people re-acclimate.
00:41:25.91\00:41:27.78
Give me some idea of
some of these situations
00:41:27.82\00:41:30.19
you deal with because, you know,
00:41:30.22\00:41:31.55
there are people
in the field that,
00:41:31.59\00:41:34.26
for example, you
lost your husband
00:41:34.29\00:41:36.16
in a terrible
accident in Africa,
00:41:36.19\00:41:38.76
but then there are
other traumas that happen
00:41:38.79\00:41:41.76
where you cited some stories
like for example, Bob Roberts.
00:41:41.80\00:41:44.27
Yes.
00:41:44.30\00:41:45.63
We talked about that.
00:41:45.67\00:41:47.00
Now Bob and John Roberts
were missionaries in Congo.
00:41:47.04\00:41:49.94
When we were
missionaries from Rwanda,
00:41:49.97\00:41:51.54
so we knew them in
Africa and after we left Rwanda,
00:41:51.57\00:41:55.14
they moved to Papua Indonesia.
00:41:55.18\00:41:57.51
And so when Bob was
killed in the plane crash,
00:41:57.55\00:42:00.98
I was asked by the
General Conference to go
00:42:01.02\00:42:02.88
and help support the
family and that community,
00:42:02.92\00:42:05.85
because they had
been there for 22 years,
00:42:05.89\00:42:07.96
so it was a
privilege and an honor for me
00:42:07.99\00:42:09.99
to be able to
support that community.
00:42:10.03\00:42:12.33
You know these
traumas that we talk about,
00:42:12.36\00:42:16.46
when you think of the
ministry aspects of it,
00:42:16.50\00:42:19.50
I'm tying it back
to your beginnings,
00:42:19.53\00:42:21.70
because you mention your.
00:42:21.74\00:42:23.10
One, your dad was Catholic.
00:42:23.14\00:42:25.61
Your mom was
Adventist and you said,
00:42:25.64\00:42:26.98
"Lord, I need to
find my own identity."
00:42:27.01\00:42:28.98
But even from
that mix you thought,
00:42:29.01\00:42:31.35
"Well, there are
no Adventist nuns."
00:42:31.38\00:42:33.82
But the ministry of
compassion is something
00:42:33.85\00:42:36.22
that was planted in
your heart from young
00:42:36.25\00:42:38.65
and you still
continue to this very day.
00:42:38.69\00:42:41.12
But now, we
mentioned your need as a mom,
00:42:41.16\00:42:44.46
but talk about some of
these missionary children,
00:42:44.49\00:42:47.70
their needs when they...
00:42:47.73\00:42:49.06
kind of something of war.
00:42:49.10\00:42:50.43
You know POWs
we talk about that,
00:42:50.47\00:42:52.00
there should be POMs, you know,
00:42:52.03\00:42:53.87
prisoners, it's not the word.
00:42:53.90\00:42:55.87
We call them
MKs, missionary kids.
00:42:55.90\00:42:57.67
Okay.
00:42:57.71\00:42:59.04
And that's where my
greatest passion lies
00:42:59.07\00:43:01.54
because coming
back to the States.
00:43:01.58\00:43:05.25
I was coming back home.
00:43:05.28\00:43:06.95
You know, I was American.
00:43:06.98\00:43:08.62
I didn't really feel
American, but I was American.
00:43:08.65\00:43:11.45
My children were
more or less African.
00:43:11.49\00:43:13.76
They had never lived here.
00:43:13.79\00:43:15.49
Their identity was, you know,
00:43:15.52\00:43:17.43
I remember them
going to school and say,
00:43:17.46\00:43:19.09
"Why do we need to say
00:43:19.13\00:43:20.46
the Pledge of
Allegiance we're not American."
00:43:20.50\00:43:22.40
And I had to explain
yes, you are American.
00:43:22.43\00:43:25.57
So coming back for
them, for them was very hard.
00:43:25.60\00:43:28.37
It wasn't coming back.
00:43:28.40\00:43:29.74
It was a new place for them.
00:43:29.77\00:43:32.47
Also, you know,
Ellen White says,
00:43:32.51\00:43:34.44
"That we have no need
to fear for the future
00:43:34.48\00:43:36.88
unless we forget how
God has led us in the past."
00:43:36.91\00:43:39.48
We often forget that children
00:43:39.51\00:43:41.58
don't have that past to draw on.
00:43:41.62\00:43:43.79
That's true.
00:43:43.82\00:43:45.15
So their faith is
often very much challenged.
00:43:45.19\00:43:48.12
And my, my plea
is for the church
00:43:48.16\00:43:51.89
to embrace missionary children,
especially, missionary children
00:43:51.93\00:43:55.86
who have experienced trauma.
00:43:55.90\00:43:57.57
Often they feel abandoned.
00:43:57.60\00:43:59.97
I felt abandoned by
God, but I was a mature adult
00:44:00.00\00:44:03.47
with a very strong
relationship with the Lord.
00:44:03.51\00:44:06.84
Children don't have that
and they feel abandoned by God
00:44:06.88\00:44:10.65
and by the church
when tough things happen,
00:44:10.68\00:44:14.25
and they need the
church to embrace them,
00:44:14.28\00:44:16.85
to support them
during difficult times.
00:44:16.89\00:44:19.55
And all
missionaries when they come back
00:44:19.59\00:44:21.92
struggle with coming
back to their home culture,
00:44:21.96\00:44:25.19
who they are is
changed by their experiences.
00:44:25.23\00:44:28.53
And so your sons are they...
00:44:28.56\00:44:31.20
are any of them in
the mission field today
00:44:31.23\00:44:32.70
or are they all
are back in America
00:44:32.73\00:44:34.07
or I should say in
America not back in America,
00:44:34.10\00:44:36.44
because as you said,
00:44:36.47\00:44:38.67
your sons were
raised in the mission field
00:44:38.71\00:44:42.11
and to come to America.
00:44:42.14\00:44:43.65
That was a very interesting
thought to be an American
00:44:43.68\00:44:48.48
that is by
association, by family origin...
00:44:48.52\00:44:50.79
By birth... passport.
00:44:50.82\00:44:52.79
By passport and then you
think Pledge of Allegiance,
00:44:52.82\00:44:56.83
but this is not my country.
00:44:56.86\00:44:58.23
Right.
00:44:58.26\00:44:59.59
That is...
00:44:59.63\00:45:00.96
Help me grasp that how did they,
00:45:01.00\00:45:02.66
how did they transition?
00:45:02.70\00:45:04.47
Well, they, they
gradually adopted America,
00:45:04.50\00:45:07.97
but they're in their core
they have many African values,
00:45:08.00\00:45:13.14
many missionary kid values,
00:45:13.17\00:45:14.81
they're considered
third culture kids,
00:45:14.84\00:45:17.28
because they're this blend
half of American and African.
00:45:17.31\00:45:21.92
And so, we that
the General Conference
00:45:21.95\00:45:24.29
does a re-entry seminar
00:45:24.32\00:45:26.19
for returning
missionaries every year.
00:45:26.22\00:45:28.56
And for the
teenagers and young adults,
00:45:28.59\00:45:30.69
who are coming back to
the States to go to school
00:45:30.73\00:45:32.99
many whose parents are
still in the mission field,
00:45:33.03\00:45:35.10
it's a tough transition.
00:45:35.13\00:45:36.80
You know, just before we go,
00:45:36.83\00:45:38.17
I want to give the
address roll right now
00:45:38.20\00:45:39.73
for those who are watching
the program so they could know.
00:45:39.77\00:45:42.20
If you want to find
out more about missions
00:45:42.24\00:45:44.01
and how the General
Conference plays a role
00:45:44.04\00:45:47.18
in the world field of missions,
00:45:47.21\00:45:49.14
here is the address
information that you would need.
00:45:49.18\00:45:53.82
If you would like to
contact Dr. Ann Hamel,
00:45:53.85\00:45:56.15
you can do so by
writing to Dr. Ann Hamel,
00:45:56.18\00:45:59.35
9045 US 31,
00:45:59.39\00:46:02.02
Berrien Springs, Michigan 49103.
00:46:02.06\00:46:05.69
That's Dr. Ann
Hamel 9045, US 31,
00:46:05.73\00:46:10.67
Berrien Springs, Michigan 49103.
00:46:10.70\00:46:13.40
You can call 269-473-2223.
00:46:13.44\00:46:17.97
That's 269-473-2223.
00:46:18.01\00:46:22.21
You can also reach her
at doctorannhamel@gmail.com.
00:46:22.24\00:46:26.41
that's DrAnnHamel@gmail.com.
00:46:26.45\00:46:33.09
You know, Dr.
Hamel, we called you.
00:46:39.69\00:46:43.16
I called you Ann earlier. Right.
00:46:43.20\00:46:44.93
But I used Dr. Hamel
for a particular reason now
00:46:44.97\00:46:48.67
with psychology and
also a degree in ministry.
00:46:48.70\00:46:51.81
Now you are in a place where
00:46:51.84\00:46:53.98
you are continuing
to minister to people
00:46:54.01\00:46:56.04
that are still
connected to missions.
00:46:56.08\00:46:59.28
Tell me about your
approach to missions
00:46:59.31\00:47:02.48
because my approach
to missions will be,
00:47:02.52\00:47:04.92
get your bags pack,
head to the mission field.
00:47:04.95\00:47:07.56
What's your approach to
missions dealing with people
00:47:07.59\00:47:09.59
that are going and coming back?
00:47:09.62\00:47:11.89
Well, I think when you're
dealing with missionaries,
00:47:11.93\00:47:14.30
you are very much
dealing with spiritual issues.
00:47:14.33\00:47:18.93
The church has always
been involved in missions
00:47:18.97\00:47:21.30
because it's
Christ great commission
00:47:21.34\00:47:22.90
to go into all the world.
00:47:22.94\00:47:24.27
That's right.
00:47:24.31\00:47:25.64
And in Acts it says that,
00:47:25.67\00:47:29.38
Ananias supposed
to go and anoint Paul
00:47:29.41\00:47:31.88
because he was
God's chosen vessel
00:47:31.91\00:47:34.35
to carry the
gospel to the Gentiles.
00:47:34.38\00:47:37.35
But then it goes on to say,
00:47:37.39\00:47:39.22
"That I will show him how much
00:47:39.25\00:47:40.79
he must suffer for my namesake."
00:47:40.82\00:47:44.43
The call of a
missionary has always been
00:47:44.46\00:47:46.23
a call of self
sacrifice and suffering.
00:47:46.26\00:47:48.93
You know third of the
countries in the world
00:47:48.96\00:47:51.33
have very limited
or no religious freedom
00:47:51.37\00:47:55.60
and 70 percent of
the people in the world
00:47:55.64\00:47:57.67
live in those countries.
00:47:57.71\00:47:59.74
It's also true that
there's never been a time
00:47:59.77\00:48:03.45
when the gospel has
gone to a new people group
00:48:03.48\00:48:06.75
where it wasn't
met with resistance.
00:48:06.78\00:48:08.98
And that it wasn't
costly to the messengers
00:48:09.02\00:48:11.82
and to the new people
who received the gospel.
00:48:11.85\00:48:15.06
So hardship and trials
00:48:15.09\00:48:18.09
and trauma is a
part of mission service.
00:48:18.13\00:48:20.90
So, you know, I got
the degree in psychology
00:48:20.93\00:48:23.43
because I wanted
to help missionaries
00:48:23.47\00:48:25.53
deal with difficult experiences
that they were dealing with.
00:48:25.57\00:48:28.80
It wasn't long
00:48:28.84\00:48:30.17
after working with
missionaries that I realize
00:48:30.21\00:48:32.47
that we are involved
in a great controversy
00:48:32.51\00:48:35.28
and there are spiritual issues
very much a part of any issues
00:48:35.31\00:48:39.98
that many
missionaries deal with,
00:48:40.02\00:48:41.35
so I went back to school
00:48:41.38\00:48:42.72
and got a Doctor
of Ministry degree.
00:48:42.75\00:48:44.15
So I always
take a dual approach,
00:48:44.19\00:48:47.06
I look at the
psychological aspects of it
00:48:47.09\00:48:49.26
but I'd also look at
the spiritual aspects
00:48:49.29\00:48:51.66
of any challenge that
a missionary is facing.
00:48:51.69\00:48:55.00
And Jesus said, "In this world,
you will have tribulation."
00:48:55.03\00:48:59.10
That's right.
00:48:59.13\00:49:00.47
But he says, "Be of good cheer,
I have overcome the world."
00:49:00.50\00:49:03.61
1 Peter 4:7 says that,
00:49:03.64\00:49:05.34
"We are not to be
surprised at the painful trials
00:49:05.37\00:49:07.98
that we suffer as if some
00:49:08.01\00:49:09.54
strange thing
has happened to us,
00:49:09.58\00:49:12.48
but that we are to rejoice."
00:49:12.51\00:49:14.52
Because we're
able to participate
00:49:14.55\00:49:16.32
in the sufferings of Christ.
00:49:16.35\00:49:18.45
We have incredibly good
news to share with the world.
00:49:18.49\00:49:20.79
That's right.
00:49:20.82\00:49:22.16
No matter what we experience
whether you are missionary
00:49:22.19\00:49:24.86
or whether you stay here,
we all have a cross to bear.
00:49:24.89\00:49:28.60
Jesus invites us to take
up our cross to follow Him.
00:49:28.63\00:49:32.63
Now your husband
and you together know,
00:49:32.67\00:49:35.14
how has he gotten on board
with your approach to missions?
00:49:35.17\00:49:39.31
Yeah.
00:49:39.34\00:49:40.68
My husband is a gift that
got to me to my, to our family.
00:49:40.71\00:49:44.95
He is no longer a
practicing physician,
00:49:44.98\00:49:47.32
he is a hospital
president and he supports me
00:49:47.35\00:49:50.15
in my travels and
the work that I do.
00:49:50.19\00:49:52.79
And he...
00:49:52.82\00:49:54.82
one thing that attracted
me to him is he was actually
00:49:54.86\00:49:57.56
born in the hospital
that he is the president now.
00:49:57.59\00:50:00.23
He didn't have to go
far away to be a missionary.
00:50:00.26\00:50:02.86
He considers his
work as a mission
00:50:02.90\00:50:07.00
that we are to represent
Christ in all that we do.
00:50:07.04\00:50:11.57
And whatever role we have,
we don't have to go far away.
00:50:11.61\00:50:15.41
That is wonderful.
00:50:15.44\00:50:16.78
We're to serve the
Lord wherever we are
00:50:16.81\00:50:18.41
and to represent
Him, to those around us.
00:50:18.45\00:50:21.15
Now have any of
you your children
00:50:21.18\00:50:22.78
thought about
becoming missionaries.
00:50:22.82\00:50:25.25
Or have they gone back to
Africa since they've left?
00:50:25.29\00:50:28.06
No, we actually took all
the children back in 2008,
00:50:28.09\00:50:34.93
to see my husband's grave
00:50:34.96\00:50:36.50
for the first
time after 17 years.
00:50:36.53\00:50:39.10
We took all seven
of our children in 98
00:50:39.13\00:50:43.84
but Rwanda was not
stable enough at that time,
00:50:43.87\00:50:46.07
but in 2008, we
took my three sons
00:50:46.11\00:50:49.11
and their wives
and we went back.
00:50:49.14\00:50:51.71
And that was the
first time after 17 years,
00:50:51.75\00:50:54.52
and it was a
difficult but very healing time.
00:50:54.55\00:51:00.66
For my sons, it's
been hard for them.
00:51:00.69\00:51:05.59
Yeah, it's hard to understand
00:51:05.63\00:51:10.13
how an all
powerful and all loving God
00:51:10.17\00:51:12.77
can allow such
terrible things to happen
00:51:12.80\00:51:15.80
because it's not
just in our lives.
00:51:15.84\00:51:17.84
It happened in the
country that we loved.
00:51:17.87\00:51:20.21
The genocide in
Rwanda ravaged that country.
00:51:20.24\00:51:25.38
The General Conference
built the university in Rwanda,
00:51:25.41\00:51:27.88
because at that time
Rwanda was considered
00:51:27.92\00:51:30.12
the most peaceful and
stable country in Africa.
00:51:30.15\00:51:33.39
So in many ways
it parallels my life.
00:51:33.42\00:51:35.76
You know, I felt like
I couldn't be happier.
00:51:35.79\00:51:38.19
Rwanda was a
peaceful and stable country,
00:51:38.23\00:51:40.90
but the enemy has attacked.
00:51:40.93\00:51:43.23
But God has redeemed that.
00:51:43.26\00:51:45.20
And, you know, the
beauty of missions is that
00:51:45.23\00:51:46.77
the Lord always comes out ahead.
00:51:46.80\00:51:48.80
He always comes out victorious
in whatever situation we're in.
00:51:48.84\00:51:52.24
You know, it's amazing
how quickly our time goes
00:51:52.27\00:51:54.08
but our viewing and
listening audience knows that
00:51:54.11\00:51:56.54
this is a time for
our short newsbreak.
00:51:56.58\00:51:58.95
And then we will be back
00:51:58.98\00:52:00.32
with a few closing
comments to our program.
00:52:00.35\00:52:02.62