Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Bryan Gallant
Series Code: TDY
Program Code: TDY015071A
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00:01 I want to spend my life
00:07 Mending broken people 00:12 I want to spend my life 00:18 Removing pain 00:23 Lord, let my words 00:30 Heal a heart that hurts 00:34 I want to spend my life 00:40 Mending broken people 00:46 I want to spend my life 00:51 Mending broken people 01:07 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn 01:08 and we welcome you once again to 3ABN today. 01:11 We are having a wonderful day here at 3ABN 01:13 and our hope is that yours is even better. 01:17 And just want to thank you so much for your prayers 01:20 and your financial support of this ministry. 01:23 If you know anyone who has suffered 01:26 the loss of a loved one 01:28 especially the loss of a child you may want to have them 01:32 tune into this program immediately. 01:34 Give them a call 01:36 because we have a very special guest with us today 01:39 who has been through an undeniable trauma 01:44 but yet God has brought in his wife into a good place 01:50 and a place of restoration if you will. 01:54 And he is going to be sharing with you today 01:56 and I think it's going to be an incredible testimony 02:00 that you won't want to miss but you certainly don't want 02:03 anyone else to miss this who could benefit. 02:07 Let me read a scripture 02:08 that is just so appropriate for today. 02:11 It's 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4 and Paul writes, 02:16 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 02:19 the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 02:23 who comforts us in all our tribulation, 02:26 that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, 02:32 with the comfort with which we ourselves 02:36 are comforted by God." 02:38 In other words when we go through tragedy, 02:40 when we go through pain God is there for us 02:44 but then He uses us as a vessel, as a channel 02:49 that we can point other people 02:51 to the same loving God and Savior 02:54 that they might receive their comfort. 02:56 Well, without further I do 02:58 let me introduce our special guest Bryan Gallant. 03:02 Bryan, thank you so much for being here today. 03:05 Thank you, Shelley, I'm glad to be here. 03:07 Yes, now you are a missionary basically 03:11 and you just-- you moved backed to United States 03:14 you are living in Missouri. 03:15 Now what you are gonna be doing in Missouri? 03:17 My work will be inviting Christians 03:19 to love and serve refugees and immigrants 03:22 all around well, over America. 03:24 Many people come in from around the world with needs. 03:27 All right, I'm very familiar with work in California 03:31 and say on the west coast 03:33 and the east coast the immigrant work 03:35 but I really wasn't that aware 03:37 that we have a large immigrant population. 03:40 But what is the population in this Middle West? 03:44 Oh, depend which site you go to 03:46 but at least 400, 000 in Iowa and Missouri alone 03:49 and you know, it was 400,000 in Colorado, 03:53 in the mid America section nearly two million. 03:56 Well, unbelievable and what a very ministry. 04:00 We are going to come back and let you walk us through 04:04 little of your life history and the story that's-- 04:10 the event that changed your life I will say. 04:13 But before we do we always love music 04:16 and we like to start our programs off with music 04:20 and today we have our very own E.T. Everett. 04:23 She is the director I guess 04:25 she would say of our 3ABN sound center 04:27 and a wonderful Christian woman 04:30 and an incredible pianist 04:32 and she is going to play "Because He Lives." 08:44 Oh, and we thank E.T. Everett. 08:46 She is such a-- 08:47 has such a heart for worship with the Lord but how true 08:50 because He lives we can face tomorrow. 08:53 And I'm sure that our special guest today 08:56 Bryan Gallant can testify to that because it was God 09:00 who kept him going through a most difficult time. 09:04 Bryan, tell us before we get into your story 09:08 tell us a little of your experience growing up. 09:11 Did you grow up in an Adventist family? 09:13 When did you actually develop 09:16 a personal relationship with the Lord? 09:19 Well, I grew up knowing about Adventist 09:22 and being culturally Adventist we would say. 09:25 I was in a military brat family. 09:29 So mostly brat but when I-- 09:33 as a young teenager I had an interest, 09:36 I've always had an interest in spiritual things 09:38 and I like to read biographies of people like Martin Luther 09:41 and Foxe's Book of Martyrs and things like that. 09:44 So I've always had a heart for wanting to know 09:49 but truly get to know Him personally 09:52 it was probably when I was 19 and a particular girlfriend 09:56 decided to destroy my heart and in that process-- 09:59 All the worries of the teenage love. 10:01 Yes. 10:02 In that process I remember specifically saying 10:05 I don't want to have my life depended upon any other person 10:10 again with the highs and the lows 10:12 and the good days and the bad days. 10:14 I want to know, I want to build my life on something 10:17 or someone that doesn't change. 10:18 Amen. 10:20 And so that's when I began personally to say 10:21 okay, God, please show Yourself to me. 10:24 I began to read the Book of Psalms 10:26 and experience the emotions, the highs, the lows, the pain 10:32 and how God can reach you in all those things 10:35 even at my very limited experience and then 10:37 I also began to read the book Desire of Ages 10:40 which is an absolutely fantastic book 10:42 about the life of Jesus Christ. 10:43 Absolutely. 10:45 So as you then and, you know, something that's wonderful 10:48 about studying the Psalms is and the only way 10:50 I know how to express is this that David had 10:53 what we would almost say 10:54 is like romantic love for the Lord. 10:58 It was a passion that he had for God. 11:00 And so it brings it out of this dry experience 11:03 of just facts and figures 11:05 but you really get the passion for God. 11:08 And as you were studying these things 11:10 obviously the Lord got your attention 11:12 because He then led you into the missionary work. 11:16 Right. 11:17 We-- I know is wanted to serve God with my life 11:20 and so when I came of that age and the opportunity 11:23 I was going to school at Walla Walla 11:25 for just a couple of quarters there 11:27 and I was part of prayer groups 11:29 and ministries and things 11:30 and so I signed up to go be a student missionary 11:32 on the Island of Chuuk or Truk back them Truk, Micronesia. 11:36 Okay, and there you met a young lady named Penny. 11:40 Tell us about Penny. 11:42 Yes, so we met literally on the Island of Hawaii 11:46 for the orientation time 11:48 and we kind of scanned the group 11:50 going to our island and we mutually chose each other 11:52 and within a few weeks we were dating and breaking the rules 11:56 and... 11:57 so they have to forgive us 11:59 but we actually got engaged on Guam over Christmas break 12:04 and by June first back in the United States 12:07 we got married. 12:08 Definitely not the way should we doing that 12:10 but that's what we did. 12:11 That's what you did. 12:12 So you were about 21 and she was 20. 12:14 That's right. So you are quite young. 12:16 Did you go through any premarital counseling, 12:19 did you do anything like that 12:21 or did you just say, this is it, she is the one. 12:24 Well, I won't mention the dear brother 12:26 who gave us the marital counseling but we-- 12:30 he did want us to take some time to do that 12:32 and so we watched Johnny Lingo and the Seven Cow Wife, 12:35 that was our marriage counseling. 12:36 Oh, no. 12:38 So the just of the story is, if you treat them well 12:42 they blossom and grow. 12:43 If you treat them like they are worthless 12:44 then that's what you get. 12:46 Oh, no. 12:47 So that was extent to our counseling. 12:49 So we were too young, very dysfunctional broken people 12:53 from our different stories and we started. 12:56 All right, so we have two young dysfunctional parents 13:00 who are people who become parents. 13:04 Verily quickly tell us about Caleb and Abigail. 13:07 Yeah, I was being a literature evangelist. 13:11 We were going door to door 13:12 meeting all kinds of people and dogs 13:15 and having many amazing experiences and miracles 13:18 and God blessed us with two beautiful children. 13:21 So Caleb was three and half years old, 13:24 very mild, gentle, beautiful boy 13:29 and Abigail, ten and half months, 13:31 came out later. 13:32 She was more roly poly and loved to eat 13:36 and very, very happy baby 13:38 and we were doing our best as dysfunctional parents 13:41 but we both had come from-- 13:42 we both were carrying our own baggage, 13:44 our own issues and that was showing up in our marriage 13:49 but we were doing our best, young. 13:52 I would preach about two times a month 13:55 all over the state of Colorado at that point and traveling. 13:59 And so we like to go as a family and do that 14:01 and we get in our cars and go to different places. 14:04 All right, so you are-- this two dysfunctional people 14:09 so I'm assuming it's a dysfunctional marriage 14:12 but you had two beautiful, two beautiful children 14:16 and on December the third when Caleb was three and half 14:21 and Abigail was ten and half months 14:25 you had preached somewhere 14:26 and tell us what happened afterwards. 14:30 Yeah, after the fellowship meal 14:33 we loaded our children into the vehicle 14:35 and prayed and began to drive towards home 14:40 and somewhere between Almond, Wisconsin 14:43 and our home in Fall River our car lost control 14:48 and rolled down in an embankment 14:49 three to four times at 55 miles an hour. 14:54 My wife was driving and I had fallen asleep. 14:59 My seat was slightly reclined and as the car began to roll 15:05 I heard her scream, I pick my head up 15:07 and I saw that we are going over and then 15:09 it just began to roll over and over again 15:13 and my head basically pivoted between the front 15:18 and my ankle in the front, my head on the post 15:20 between your front and back doors 15:23 pivoted with an each roll 15:24 but the first most traumatic roll of the car 15:29 was on my wife's side 15:32 and eventually it stopped and I was not unconscious. 15:39 I was fully conscious 15:40 and able to see what was going on. 15:42 I looked to my left and I saw my wife 15:44 she was completely slumped over. 15:46 There was blood, there was glass and dirt. 15:50 The windows were blown out. 15:54 I thought she was dead. 15:56 The engine was running so I turned that off immediately 16:01 and then I looked to see where my kids were. 16:07 When I turned to the back 16:09 to where Abigail had been strapped. 16:11 To my horror she was actually hanging out the back window 16:14 by the child restraint strap that had failed 16:18 and all of a sudden as a father... 16:24 an indiscernible emotion of, I must go to save my daughter 16:29 that's what daddy's are supposed to do. 16:30 We have to protect our children to be there 16:34 and I tried the door the door was jammed. 16:38 I don't know what I did, 16:39 those 15 seconds are lost from my memory. 16:42 All I can imagine is 16:43 the incredible trauma of the event. 16:45 I don't know if I went out the window that was gone 16:49 or if I literally overpowered the door which they say 16:54 stuff happens like that with parents in adrenaline. 16:56 I don't know, I can't remember. 16:59 All I know is... 17:01 this incredible feeling of impotence and ineffectiveness 17:08 and will I be there in time to save her. 17:13 When I got to her side I pulled her out of the strap 17:20 and I was not in time. 17:24 So you knew that she was dead then? 17:26 She was fully limp. 17:30 And I looked to the other side toward my son should have been 17:35 and he was not there... 17:38 he had been ejected. 17:42 And so I began to then search for Caleb. 17:45 I'm walking around with my daughter... in my hand. 17:48 She had taken some of her first steps that very day 17:51 at the fellowship meal and my world is collapsed 17:55 and I'm searching for my son. 17:56 I finally find him about 100 feet away 17:59 lying on the grass not moving. 18:05 I remember putting... 18:08 Abigail next to him... 18:12 trying to touch him and give him a kiss 18:15 but he didn't move either. 18:18 And there they were, 18:20 I turned back towards where the car was 18:24 and all I see is this crumpled metal mess, 18:29 the roof had been collapsed in and I think my wife is dead, 18:34 here is my children and I just preached, 18:37 I've been doing all the right things 18:38 which we were doing our best. 18:41 We prayed, we done all the stuff 18:43 you are supposed to do 18:44 and now my children, my family is destroyed 18:48 and I remember just walking... 18:51 in shock obviously in a days, in a circle 18:54 and just yelling out God, where are You. 18:58 What's happened? 19:01 And... 19:03 eventually a police officer came 19:07 and he began to ask me a bunch of questions. 19:11 He wanted me to stop walking around in a circle 19:13 and frantically going from my children to the car 19:15 and I realize now looking back that he needed to make sure 19:20 that I was okay but I remember yelling at him saying, 19:25 I don't care about me you take care of my kids 19:27 even though I seemed but know that they were, 19:30 they were dead... 19:32 but you still hope, of course. 19:34 Sure. 19:35 And he sat me down and he kept asking me all these questions, 19:39 you know, where do you live, what do you do 19:41 and at one point my sarcasm or whatever I remember 19:46 specifically I remember saying to him, 19:48 oh, but you are glad I'm conscious 19:50 you can get all the answers to your stupid questions. 19:52 But just in my frustration, you know, why are you asking me 19:55 this kind of bio-data information, do something 20:00 but he was trying to keep me from going fully into shock 20:04 until the paramedics came. 20:07 When they finally arrived... 20:10 something that hurt me very deeply is... 20:13 they came to me first... 20:17 and they began to lay me on to the backboard 20:21 and to strap my head in 20:23 and I just started yelling at them. 20:24 You know, leave me alone, take care of my children, 20:27 take care of my wife, I'm okay because I wasn't, 20:31 wasn't hurting that I knew of... 20:34 and they strapped me in, immobilized me... 20:39 and as they are lifting me up to carry me to the ambulance 20:43 they happened to tilt on a hill or something just enough 20:46 and I happen to see... 20:49 my children with a suit coat over one of their heads 20:53 and a sweater over the other. 20:57 And they took me away... 21:00 as a completely useless father. 21:06 I can't imagine. 21:12 And that was the day when everything changed for us. 21:18 By the grace of God... 21:20 though I went of-- necessarily known 21:22 that was the word to use then. 21:24 My wife did not die, 21:29 she was had to be extracted from the vehicle, 21:33 had to cut the roof off and she was medflighted to... 21:38 hospital in Madison, Wisconsin more than a hour away 21:43 and... 21:46 I got to the little hospital and sure enough 21:49 they checked me out and x-rayed me 21:51 and the doctor came and said... 21:55 you are not hurt. 21:57 And then he had to be the one 21:59 to tell me that my children had died. 22:02 I guess the other professionals and the volunteers 22:06 that's not their job 22:09 or the responsibility to do that. 22:10 They needed to keep me with something to focus on. 22:12 They kept saying... 22:14 everyone is helping, they are working on things, 22:17 you know, they needed me to stay. 22:18 All they want to make sure you were okay 22:20 before they talk with you. 22:21 Right. 22:23 And they didn't know to their credit, 22:24 no one knew I could have a hairline fracture in my neck 22:27 or so they did what they need to do 22:30 but the doctor had the responsibility 22:31 of giving me the horrible news. 22:35 And then I made some phone calls to some friends 22:38 and destroyed their afternoon as well. 22:41 You know, as you said... 22:44 this was an event... 22:47 and you feel like you are doing everything right 22:48 even though you do have a dysfunctional marriage 22:52 and you know you got some marital problems. 22:55 But you've got these two beautiful children, 22:57 you are preaching, and you are praying 23:00 before you got in your car you prayed. 23:03 I know that Penny, your wife in your book 23:08 Penny ended up with a loss of use of her left hand 23:16 and I want to come back to what her first words were 23:19 but what's in my mind right now and I know that you at home 23:22 are watching is that did you get angry at God. 23:26 Where you, where you like Lord, 23:29 you know, what more could I've done, 23:31 what has happened here? 23:33 Yes, I shared the story a number of times 23:38 in speaking events and... 23:42 the reality is... 23:44 I had made a very serious mistake in my life 23:48 and it's one that I image many people make 23:51 though we might not be able to clearly 23:53 describe it as I'm about to. 23:56 But for some reason I don't think 23:57 its something that necessarily taught 23:59 or forced on people but I had caught it 24:02 and the mistake was I had thought 24:04 that my relationship with God 24:05 was built upon what I did for Him. 24:07 There you go. 24:09 You know, I would have worshipped, 24:10 I would have devotions, I would witness, 24:12 I would preach, I would teach, 24:13 I, I, I, there's a bit of a problem there 24:17 but that's what I thought it was 24:19 and so as a married couple 24:22 we had made choices to not do certain things 24:25 and to guide our lives in various ways and do our best 24:28 and based on this foundational lie 24:32 everything that we thought we are supposed to be doing 24:34 and then our kids die... 24:36 on a day that I'm preaching. 24:40 Yeah, many times I'm hardly angry at God. 24:44 And I think that's the not but even though, 24:45 you know, once you come to your sins 24:47 as you know God didn't cause it 24:49 but I still talk with so many Christians who say, 24:51 yeah, but He allowed it. 24:53 Why did He allow it? 24:55 And it's something that 24:56 that's a natural part of the grieving process 24:59 and God's big enough to handle it. 25:00 If you ever feel like you are upset with God, 25:04 He already knows it you may as well talk about it, 25:07 talk to Him about it. 25:08 I know that I've been there in my lifetime 25:11 and it was a life changing experience. 25:14 I think sometimes you got to get-- 25:17 I should say that some people 25:19 have to get really-- 25:21 if you built up wall around your emotions 25:25 I think God has to let you 25:26 sometimes allow you get really angry 25:29 before you can allow Him to love you. 25:31 I don't know how to say that. That's right. 25:34 Okay, so you are going through some natural reaction 25:39 and I imagine almost vividly. 25:41 Let's kind of back track, I didn't mean to fast forward 25:44 over Penny's reaction. 25:46 When she woke in the hospital, when she came to consciousness 25:51 did she remember this event? 25:56 When she finally arrived to that hospital 26:00 they didn't know what would happen. 26:03 The head trauma that she experienced with the roll over 26:06 and so forth it was glass everywhere 26:08 and within one day her head had swollen 26:11 to such an extent that when her mother 26:13 came a day later she can't even recognize her. 26:17 They didn't even know she would survive. 26:21 And so they had actually I believe put it in, 26:24 put her into some what of a medically induced coma 26:27 for a little bit of time 26:28 just to see what was going to happen. 26:30 But the second day my brother was there 26:33 and my parents had finally arrived from Alaska. 26:36 My family was around me. 26:37 Previously to that our church family had been 26:39 just amazing to our lives 26:43 but the nurse came to me and said, okay, 26:44 we are taking her out of that induced state 26:48 you should be there 26:49 and so I remember going in with my brother 26:53 watching my wife wondering 26:56 if she hadn't come out and she finally did. 27:03 And the first thing out of her mouth 27:07 as an amazing broken dysfunctional mother 27:11 would do she said, where are my babies? 27:18 And that donned to me that no one had told her. 27:23 Of course, no one could have 27:25 and there immediately my legs went limp, 27:29 my brother's arm stiffened to hold me up 27:33 and I had to tell her that they are gone, 27:38 they are dead 27:42 and she couldn't really move or express anything. 27:44 She could barely talk, 27:45 even there are tubes every where. 27:47 Both of her lungs had collapsed and she just kind of 27:52 shut her eyes again and went back to sleep 27:57 and I wondered if she would choose to keep fighting. 28:01 Yes. 28:04 But she did. 28:06 Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. 28:09 So she really has no memory. 28:13 I mean, its like the time of the accident 28:16 you don't really know what happened with the car, 28:19 she has no memory and maybe that was God's way of 28:23 kind of putting a blanket over this situation 28:25 so that she didn't have to relive that. 28:27 Did she, did Penny go through the, it's my fault, 28:32 the feelings of guilt that she got through that stage at all 28:37 since she was the driver? 28:40 In our marriage it wasn't something that we usually 28:43 talked much about and she didn't feel 28:45 it was her fault 28:47 because she probably couldn't remember. 28:49 I think that is a mercy actually. 28:51 Yes. 28:52 I know compared to my having to see everything 28:56 certainly was a mercy. 28:58 So I'm grateful that she didn't have that 29:00 and I never felt that it was her fault either. 29:05 So that blame was not an issue though, 29:08 though I did share later as I was reflecting 29:12 and trying to write our story out 29:14 and many people told us to write in 29:15 so its finally happened now. 29:18 There is a chapter 29:19 we're specifically talking about forgiveness 29:21 and if we have time we can talk about that later 29:24 but it took many years for her it seems to actually fully 29:29 at a deep emotional level forgive herself 29:32 when she was able to forgive someone else. 29:34 Okay, and so that's typical I think. 29:37 You know, how did-- we want to come back to that forgiveness 29:41 but I want to make certain that we talk about how the Lord-- 29:47 here you are already on a path of broken marriage almost, 29:51 use the words and you know, when you said that 29:54 it was more merciful than being able to see everything 29:57 but I believe you told me just little 29:59 before we came on the air 30:00 that you had built up these walls around your heart 30:05 trying to be the Superman not to-- 30:08 not to have any highs and lows after your heart was broken 30:11 and you say something when you go out speaking, 30:16 when you talk about salvation. 30:18 What is it that you say? Yeah. 30:22 These last 20 years since the accident 30:26 God has taught us so many things 30:30 from that day of decimation 30:33 that He is literally transformed our lives. 30:37 And so often times when I'm speaking 30:38 to either group of Christians or even Muslims 30:42 and as a bridge person I speak to both groups 30:45 and I like to ask a question 30:47 which kind of causes trouble for many people. 30:50 I ask the question-- 30:51 You like the stir the pot is what you are saying. 30:53 But one thing we have learned from the accident is 30:55 life is too short this side of the wing to be boring. 30:58 Okay, that's good. 31:00 So we enjoy life as a gift and it is a gift, 31:04 not to be taken for granted. 31:06 So I say to people when were you saved 31:09 and that causes quite a religious conundrum 31:12 for many people depending on their group. 31:14 You know, some groups know exactly when they are saved 31:16 and when and who and what time but others aren't sure 31:19 and others would even wonder why on earth 31:21 I said saved in the past tense. 31:23 And so, so you have all these different things 31:26 and I give them some time to work it through 31:28 and then finally I say 31:29 well, I was saved on the day that my children died 31:35 and you can just see a ripple go through the crowd like, 31:39 what are you talking about. 31:41 How can you say that saved you? 31:44 But what I mean is, 31:46 God saved me from a broken picture of who He is. 31:53 A broken marriage and what marriage could be. 31:57 He saved me from a warped view of the world and that my role 32:02 in that world, He saved me from this, 32:05 this baseline lie that says my relationship with Him is built 32:08 on what I do 32:11 and He has transformed our lives 32:13 because of the accident. 32:15 And by His grace and in His mercy 32:19 He has now given us back four children 32:21 in the time that lapsed in miraculous ways 32:26 so that all I can do is just lift my hands in praise 32:29 and say He saved me. 32:32 You know, I have to share something with you. 32:36 I was speaking in England, large group 32:42 and we came to Romans 8:28 which a lot of people 32:45 like to quote "That all things work together for good 32:48 to those who love the Lord, 32:50 and are called according to His purpose." 32:52 And I told people be careful when you use that 32:56 because and here's what I said, I said, if a mother has just 33:00 lost her husband and two children in an accident 33:04 you don't want to come up 33:05 and I'm actually heard people do this at a funeral 33:08 and say "All things work together for good 33:11 for those who love the Lord, 33:12 and are called according to His purpose." 33:14 You know, if someone did that to me 33:16 I think I would want to succumb. 33:19 But as I explained is that scripture cannot be-- 33:23 Romans 8:28 cannot be separated 33:26 that "All things work together for good 33:29 for those who love the Lord, 33:30 and are called according to His purpose. 33:32 For those He foreknew, 33:37 He predestined to be conformed 33:39 to the image of His Son, Jesus Christ." 33:41 So the way in which God works 33:43 all things together for our good 33:46 is that through the experience He helps us to develop 33:52 more of the character of Christ. 33:54 How did God help you as a man, as a husband, Penny, 34:00 how did He-- I mean, here you got a noisy house, 34:04 two little children ten and half months old, 34:06 there and half months old. 34:08 You've got this house that's filled with life, laughter, 34:12 crying, caring on and then suddenly the next day 34:17 you've got a house of silence, you've got two grieving, 34:20 broken people-- I mean, 34:23 who are broken before the accident 34:24 but you are grieving and there is a silence. 34:28 How did God reach you? 34:29 How did He change you? Yes. 34:34 In our pain, in our brokenness, in the anger, 34:37 in the depression the thing that truly changed us was 34:43 because of my lie that I've already mentioned in the midst 34:47 of the anger I could not do all the things I used to do. 34:53 If I tried to have devotions the anger would absolutely 34:57 destroy whatever I was reading. 34:59 If I tried to close my eyes to pray 35:01 I would have a flashback 35:03 from the day of the accident because my mind had to work 35:06 through those things. 35:08 Those were horrendous so I start praying. 35:13 I couldn't do all those things. 35:14 I wasn't preaching, I wasn't teaching, I wasn't witnessing. 35:16 We were barely functioning. 35:18 And so I remember going to our grief counselor Frank 35:20 and share with him just matter effectively. 35:25 I don't think I'm a believer anymore. 35:27 And he said, why? 35:29 I said, because I can't do all the things I used to do. 35:33 And he said the words that have changed our lives. 35:36 He said, Bryan, its not what you do for God 35:40 that builds your relationship, it's what He does for you. 35:44 Amen. 35:45 Let Him love you. 35:48 Amen. 35:49 And so in our brokenness when we could do nothing 35:54 my wife and I began to just simply let God love us. 35:58 We began to learn about what His-- 36:01 a more true picture of who He is. 36:03 You know, there's many different pictures of people 36:05 have of God. 36:06 You can have the divine wending machine 36:08 where you put in your prayers, 36:09 you pay your tithe, you do your different things, 36:10 you press your button and get your blessing. 36:13 But what happens if it doesn't work or you have the almost 36:16 the Santa Clause picture in the sky, 36:17 you better not-- you better not cry, is to making list, 36:19 you know, all these different things 36:22 but what when bad things happen what's the picture of God. 36:26 And I remember just being transformed and blessed by this 36:31 new to us I guess in the context of our pain, 36:36 Jeremiah 31:3 where God says, 36:38 "Behold, I have loved you with an everlasting love. 36:41 Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you." 36:44 So its not what we do, its not that I bring God 36:46 or that I witness for God, its not what I do 36:49 but He is only draws us. 36:50 Amen. 36:52 And so we allow, we-- as Frank said, 36:54 let Him love you and we did that. 36:58 And there were-- we began to learn 37:01 about his amazing deep abiding passionate love 37:04 when we could do nothing. 37:06 And he also used the church to love and bless us in ways 37:10 that I know its normal 37:13 but it made an incredible difference for our lives. 37:16 What do you mean in ways that we are not normal? 37:18 Unfortunately I travel around the world and I speak and share 37:21 about these things and other things as well and often times 37:24 people say well, the church is sometimes known for shooting 37:27 its wounded or not caring for people and yet in our own 37:33 experience they loved us in beautiful and tangible ways 37:37 and part of the reason is I share in the book 37:39 is to give examples to those simple ways 37:44 that church members and the body of Christ 37:47 can love people who are broken instead of saying Romans 8:28. 37:52 Right. 37:53 You know, there is times you almost want to hit someone 37:55 with things that we might say 37:56 and people say I don't know what to say. 37:58 So we've written those things and we shared our experience. 38:01 If you don't know what to say keep it to yourself. 38:02 That's better, yes. 38:04 I call it divine duct tape duty. 38:06 You know, give me a shoulder and hug and cry and, 38:08 and so we shared the ways that our churched loved us in very 38:12 tangible human ways but also then God was ministering to us 38:17 in a more personal and spiritual way. 38:21 And as that happened He began to teach us 38:27 that its not what we do, 38:29 it's what He does and it's what He has done in Christ 38:33 so that we are loved not because of performance 38:36 but we are loved because of who we are in Christ. 38:39 Absolutely and that is such for many of us 38:42 for many different denominations. 38:43 I didn't grew up an Adventist but that has-- is a little pit 38:48 I fall into every now and then and I did that after my sister 38:52 was died just little over a year ago. 38:56 My last blood relative and I got to that point 38:59 where I couldn't read, I couldn't-- you know, 39:01 I was having trouble praying and it was, 39:03 it was like what's wrong with me and I felt like I'm losing 39:06 my grip and the Lord just had to bring me around to let me 39:10 know that, you know, rest in Him. 39:13 It's not about performance and God understands. 39:17 Now you're a counselor, you are grief counselor. 39:21 Explain to you that going through such a traumatic event, 39:26 you had an 85 percent chance, 39:28 percentile of getting a divorce, 39:32 He told you some great advice. 39:34 Now I like you to explain when He said to you 39:38 if you are gonna make, if you gonna stay together 39:41 you got to work at a-- 39:42 it's got to be an intentional effort to restore a marriage. 39:47 But God in this case more than restored a marriage 39:50 He recreated your marriage. 39:52 That's right. Talk about that. 39:54 As you have already mentioned it is a mind warping experience 39:59 to one day be a family of four and the next day be a decimated 40:04 couple of people look at each other 40:06 and don't even know each other at that point. 40:08 Your whole identity has been to be a parent at that point, 40:14 especially when the marriage wasn't so strong 40:16 and now that's gone. 40:18 And so we were told you had to start intentionally dating, 40:21 intentionally getting to know each other, 40:23 choosing to spend time together, asking questions, 40:29 writing things down just 40:32 and we began to-- we started over. 40:36 Relationship one on one. Exactly. 40:39 We started with learning what marriage is supposed to be 40:43 because neither us came hardwired with that with our 40:46 dysfunction and as you mentioned my walls being, 40:50 haven't been broken down even in our marriage and agreement 40:54 and commitment all those things to each other. 40:55 I still hadn't opened my heart to my wife. 40:58 I was still planning to turn on my emotions off 41:00 and not let anyone else hurt me again 41:02 and yet God in His raw mercy made me 41:08 see things or allowed-- it's almost as how He handcrafted 41:14 or adjusted the accident to transform Penny in the way 41:17 that she needed to be touched and changed 41:19 and also in the ways that I needed by splitting me 41:23 wide open to a place 41:24 that I couldn't possibly ignore those emotions. 41:26 And He saved me for my life of no joy or sadness 41:32 because I believe in the years that have fallen 41:34 God has made us to be complete human beings 41:37 with the ability to feel joy and pain 41:40 and He wants to meet us in all of those 41:42 and that's what He's done. 41:44 And so in our marriage then we learned about boundaries 41:49 which is a very important thing for us. 41:51 One, we were really intrigued by the signs those 41:55 on a psychiatrist wall at one point, it says, 41:58 "today I will not should on myself." 42:02 And-- 42:03 I would not should, 42:04 s - h - o - u - l - d on myself. 42:06 And what I'm speaking publicly 42:08 I should not escape that carefully. 42:09 Very carefully. 42:11 That the importance of that is do things intentionally. 42:16 Don't live your life as I should do this, 42:17 I should do that and you give, give, 42:19 give until you have nothing more to give 42:20 and then you break. 42:22 Something breaks, 42:23 whether its burnout or broken relationships. 42:24 And so we begin to realize whenever each, 42:27 either one of us would begin to say I should go here otherwise 42:30 you would say, are you should in on yourself? 42:33 You know, be careful, do you want to do that. 42:35 Yes. 42:36 So even when it came to worship and things. 42:39 We might wake up on the morning that we normally go to church 42:42 and we look each other and say, do you want to go? 42:49 And even though its an amazing loving church there that has 42:51 blessed us there are still where times 42:53 we didn't want to go 42:54 do the happy Sabbath, how are you face. 42:57 You know, though the plastic people experience 43:00 where everyone comes and says, how are you doing 43:01 but they really don't want to know. 43:03 And were we able to go and say, yeah, 43:06 everything is fine when it wasn't 43:08 and we would finally-- 43:09 there would be times we would say no, we are not gonna go, 43:12 God can love us here. 43:13 And, you know, there are sometimes 43:15 my husband and I travel quite a bit, 43:16 we minister and we just keep 43:19 such an incredible hectic schedule. 43:22 There are times that we have chosen to just felt 43:27 led by the Lord to stay at home. 43:29 That happen not too many Sabbath ago 43:31 when it was the first Sabbath 43:33 we would have free in so long that I spend 43:36 eight hours in the Bible and just I had the most 43:39 glorious day with the Lord. 43:40 Now, I don't believe in forsaken the assembly 43:43 but there are times when God can minister to you. 43:46 He knows your names so there is nothing wrong with that. 43:50 Let me fast forward then we are gonna backtrack a little. 43:54 You have written about your experience, 43:57 about the healing experience. 43:59 Tell us the book is called "Undeniable, 44:03 an epic journey through pain by Bryan Gallant." 44:07 "Undeniable, An Epic Journey Through Pain" and this book 44:13 is available on Amazon.com and through your website 44:18 which is undeniablethebook.com. 44:21 Okay, tell us why you wrote this book 44:26 and how you've constructed this book? 44:30 I shared our story in the book because I believe we are living 44:33 in a time where many people are ignoring 44:38 running from medicating, avoiding their pain. 44:42 Yes. 44:43 And so because of that we are surrounded 44:45 by many broken wounded people 44:47 who have not actually gone through 44:50 the stages of grief, they've learned to function 44:52 that whatever love that is but they are not whole. 44:57 And so even by curiously our hope is 45:00 that as people read out story 45:01 and enter into the emotions and experience through our pain 45:05 that God can meet them in their pain. 45:08 And so I wrote it in a way that's is accessible to people 45:12 not only Christian, not only any denomination 45:16 or any particular denomination. 45:17 It's written so that a thinking atheist, a thinking Muslim, 45:21 Buddhist, Hindu or whatever a human, 45:25 a human whose experienced pain will be touched by the words 45:28 and invited to a place of healing where they can find 45:30 God's love ministering to them at their place. 45:33 And it is not that when you said that you 45:34 wrote it for anyone, 45:36 its not that you loved God out of this by any means 45:38 because God is central to this but it is just the manner 45:41 in which its kind of a-- 45:45 there is not a denominational approach in this. 45:48 It's more open for all people. 45:50 I want to-- we are gonna be running 45:53 out of time here in just a moment 45:54 so what I would like to do is we have Bryan's address. 45:58 If you would like to invite him to come to your church to do 46:02 a grief seminar or to speak or if you want to get his book 46:07 through his website 46:09 here's how you may get in touch with Bryan. 46:15 If you would like to contact Bryan Gallant or learn how you 46:18 can receive a copy of his book Undeniable you can do so 46:22 by calling 678-532-8787, 46:27 that's 678-532-8787 46:32 or go online at UndeniableTheBook.com 46:35 that's UndeniableTheBook.com. 46:46 You know, this is such an amazing story 46:48 and I have to say, Bryan, you are a delightful writer. 46:51 It's a beautifully written book. 46:53 But in this I think we need to mention how God restored 46:59 on December 3rd, three years after your children 47:04 were killed in the auto accident 47:07 let's talk about just a moment 47:08 how God restored and began to start a new family for you. 47:12 Yes. 47:14 When we, when we finished going back to school 47:17 and Penny recovered and began to learn 47:20 to live life without her left hand anymore 47:23 we went back overseas to Micronesia. 47:26 We basically said we are willing to serve again 47:28 and they had us to go there to the Island of Yap 47:32 to be a principle of a K-12 school system there. 47:35 And so we went as still two broken people but still wanting 47:38 to serve because God had begun to bless us. 47:41 While we are there and miraculous chain of events 47:45 God arranged for us to adopt an unborn child, 47:49 Yapese child where Penny was able to see him being born 47:54 on Thanksgiving day and we went 47:58 through all the adoptive paper work 48:00 and everything because its in the book there 48:02 but all the things for $30, international adoption 48:06 so little bit cheaper than usual by a couple of digits. 48:10 We were able to adopt him and his adopted paper work 48:13 was finished literally on December 3, 1997. 48:17 So that was the official date that he became your son. 48:20 That he was our child. 48:22 And that was three years to the date 48:23 that you had lost your two children. 48:25 But God has a sense of humor as well. 48:27 Okay. 48:28 December 2, my wife wasn't feeling well and she went into 48:32 the bathroom and came out with two lines on the dip stick. 48:35 Which means she was pregnant. She was pregnant. 48:38 So three years to the day holding Elijah in our hands 48:43 and Penny having another one in her womb 48:46 God was saying its okay to love again. 48:48 Amen. Amen. 48:50 And now you actually God has added to that number-- 48:53 Yeah, they keep coming, yeah. 48:56 So we now have four, so we have Elijah and Hanna, 48:59 Noah and Hadasa. 49:00 How precious. 49:02 I just wanted to ask if you would touch on-- 49:04 this book is divided into four primary areas. 49:11 First was the devastation in the darkness, 49:13 the Dawn and the Destiny. 49:15 But when you talk about the name of the book 49:18 again it's "Undeniable, An Epic Journey Through Pain" 49:22 and this is as we said at the beginning 49:26 as God comforted you you're now sharing 49:30 that comfort with others. 49:32 But if you would in the section on Dawn, talk about worship. 49:38 When God began to breakthrough into our lives 49:43 He helped us to see that its because of our pain, 49:45 its because of our brokenness 49:47 so we then see others differently 49:49 but more than that we see Him differently. 49:52 And I remember one time sitting there my wife and I, 49:54 this is a number of months probably almost two years after 49:57 the accident we are both reading in different chairs 50:00 having worship together and my wife picked her head up 50:08 and she kind of spoke towards me. 50:09 I knew she is gonna say, 50:11 I could see on her face something important. 50:12 She said, we really should pray for Susan Smith 50:17 and my first thought was, are you crazy. 50:19 Now Susan Smith people may forget but she was the woman 50:22 years ago who strapped her two children into the car, 50:26 pushed into a lake, watched it go underwater, 50:29 called the car and-- you know, so murdered her children. 50:32 And I'm thinking, you want to pray for Susan Smith? 50:35 What you want to pray about that she wroth somewhere or, 50:38 you know, that the most unspeakable stuff 50:39 could happen to her 50:41 and I'm just-- I'm just completely shocked by her 50:45 and my wife said this, we need to pray for her 50:48 because she must have really been hurting 50:52 to have ever imagined that was the best thing 50:54 she could do for her kids. 50:57 And it just blew my mind to realize that here is my wife 51:00 who has lost two children, who because of what God 51:03 is doing in her life actually has the heart of God 51:07 to see another mother who did this unspeakable thing 51:11 and yet she can see hope and love still. 51:16 And I just realize I was seeing 51:18 in many ways like a burning bush. 51:20 I was seeing the very character of God in my wife 51:25 who had lost babies 51:26 and yet was willing to pray for someone else 51:28 who is hurting to such an extent. 51:32 Our prayer in this book is that it want to invite people 51:35 to experience God's healing and empathy and to increase 51:40 their worship of who He is in the whole process 51:43 and how He has turned. 51:45 Well, I think you certainly paint beautiful 51:49 and true picture of the character of God 51:51 and this "Undeniable, An Epic Journey Through Pain" 51:56 is a book that can bring healing 51:59 and we just want to encourage you to get this book. 52:03 We are going to take a quick break. 52:05 We've got to go to a news break 52:07 but we are gonna come back with a final thought 52:09 so please stay tuned. |
Revised 2015-10-05