I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Removing pain
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Lord, let my words
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Heal a heart that hurts
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn
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and we welcome you
once again to 3ABN today.
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We are having a
wonderful day here at 3ABN
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and our hope is that
yours is even better.
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And just want to thank
you so much for your prayers
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and your financial
support of this ministry.
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If you know
anyone who has suffered
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the loss of a loved one
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especially the loss of a
child you may want to have them
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tune into this
program immediately.
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Give them a call
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because we have a very
special guest with us today
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who has been
through an undeniable trauma
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but yet God has brought
in his wife into a good place
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and a place of
restoration if you will.
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And he is going to be
sharing with you today
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and I think it's going to
be an incredible testimony
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that you won't want to miss
but you certainly don't want
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anyone else to miss
this who could benefit.
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Let me read a scripture
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that is just so
appropriate for today.
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It's 2 Corinthians
1:3, 4 and Paul writes,
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"Blessed be the God and
Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
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the Father of mercies
and God of all comfort,
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who comforts us in
all our tribulation,
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that we may be able to comfort
those who are in any trouble,
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with the comfort
with which we ourselves
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are comforted by God."
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In other words when
we go through tragedy,
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when we go through
pain God is there for us
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but then He uses us
as a vessel, as a channel
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that we can point other people
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to the same
loving God and Savior
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that they might
receive their comfort.
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Well, without further I do
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let me introduce our
special guest Bryan Gallant.
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Bryan, thank you so
much for being here today.
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Thank you, Shelley,
I'm glad to be here.
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Yes, now you are a
missionary basically
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and you just-- you
moved backed to United States
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you are living in Missouri.
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Now what you are
gonna be doing in Missouri?
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My work will be
inviting Christians
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to love and serve
refugees and immigrants
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all around well, over America.
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Many people come in from
around the world with needs.
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All right, I'm very
familiar with work in California
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and say on the west coast
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and the east
coast the immigrant work
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but I really wasn't that aware
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that we have a large
immigrant population.
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But what is the
population in this Middle West?
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Oh, depend which site you go to
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but at least 400, 000
in Iowa and Missouri alone
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and you know, it
was 400,000 in Colorado,
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in the mid America
section nearly two million.
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Well, unbelievable
and what a very ministry.
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We are going to come back
and let you walk us through
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little of your life
history and the story that's--
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the event that
changed your life I will say.
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But before we do
we always love music
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and we like to start
our programs off with music
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and today we have our
very own E.T. Everett.
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She is the director I guess
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she would say of
our 3ABN sound center
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and a wonderful Christian woman
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and an incredible pianist
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and she is going to
play "Because He Lives."
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Oh, and we thank E.T. Everett.
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She is such a--
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has such a heart for worship
with the Lord but how true
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because He lives
we can face tomorrow.
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And I'm sure that
our special guest today
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Bryan Gallant can testify
to that because it was God
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who kept him going
through a most difficult time.
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Bryan, tell us before
we get into your story
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tell us a little of
your experience growing up.
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Did you grow up in
an Adventist family?
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When did you actually develop
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a personal
relationship with the Lord?
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Well, I grew up
knowing about Adventist
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and being culturally
Adventist we would say.
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I was in a military brat family.
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So mostly brat but when I--
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as a young
teenager I had an interest,
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I've always had an
interest in spiritual things
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and I like to read biographies
of people like Martin Luther
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and Foxe's Book of
Martyrs and things like that.
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So I've always had a
heart for wanting to know
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but truly get to
know Him personally
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it was probably when I was
19 and a particular girlfriend
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decided to destroy my
heart and in that process--
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All the worries
of the teenage love.
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Yes.
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In that process I
remember specifically saying
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I don't want to have my life
depended upon any other person
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again with the
highs and the lows
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and the good
days and the bad days.
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I want to know, I want to
build my life on something
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or someone that doesn't change.
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Amen.
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And so that's when I
began personally to say
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okay, God, please
show Yourself to me.
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I began to read
the Book of Psalms
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and experience the emotions,
the highs, the lows, the pain
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and how God can reach
you in all those things
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even at my very
limited experience and then
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I also began to read
the book Desire of Ages
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which is an
absolutely fantastic book
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about the life of Jesus Christ.
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Absolutely.
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So as you then and, you
know, something that's wonderful
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about studying the
Psalms is and the only way
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I know how to express
is this that David had
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what we would almost say
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is like romantic
love for the Lord.
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It was a passion
that he had for God.
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And so it brings it
out of this dry experience
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of just facts and figures
00:11:03.76\00:11:05.46
but you really get
the passion for God.
00:11:05.49\00:11:08.26
And as you were
studying these things
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obviously the
Lord got your attention
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because He then led you
into the missionary work.
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Right.
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We-- I know is wanted
to serve God with my life
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and so when I came of
that age and the opportunity
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I was going to
school at Walla Walla
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for just a
couple of quarters there
00:11:25.51\00:11:27.88
and I was part of prayer groups
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and ministries and things
00:11:29.35\00:11:30.69
and so I signed up to
go be a student missionary
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on the Island of Chuuk or
Truk back them Truk, Micronesia.
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Okay, and there you met
a young lady named Penny.
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Tell us about Penny.
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Yes, so we met literally
on the Island of Hawaii
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for the orientation time
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and we kind of scanned the group
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going to our island and
we mutually chose each other
00:11:50.54\00:11:52.84
and within a few weeks we were
dating and breaking the rules
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and...
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so they have to forgive us
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but we actually got engaged
on Guam over Christmas break
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and by June first
back in the United States
00:12:04.69\00:12:07.06
we got married.
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Definitely not the
way should we doing that
00:12:08.69\00:12:10.03
but that's what we did.
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That's what you did.
00:12:11.43\00:12:12.76
So you were about
21 and she was 20.
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That's right. So
you are quite young.
00:12:14.60\00:12:16.20
Did you go through
any premarital counseling,
00:12:16.23\00:12:19.63
did you do anything like that
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or did you just say,
this is it, she is the one.
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Well, I won't
mention the dear brother
00:12:24.34\00:12:26.64
who gave us the
marital counseling but we--
00:12:26.68\00:12:30.01
he did want us to
take some time to do that
00:12:30.05\00:12:32.45
and so we watched Johnny
Lingo and the Seven Cow Wife,
00:12:32.48\00:12:35.48
that was our
marriage counseling.
00:12:35.52\00:12:36.85
Oh, no.
00:12:36.89\00:12:38.22
So the just of the story
is, if you treat them well
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they blossom and grow.
00:12:42.16\00:12:43.49
If you treat them
like they are worthless
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then that's what you get.
00:12:44.89\00:12:46.23
Oh, no.
00:12:46.26\00:12:47.60
So that was
extent to our counseling.
00:12:47.63\00:12:49.63
So we were too young, very
dysfunctional broken people
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from our different
stories and we started.
00:12:53.20\00:12:56.60
All right, so we have two
young dysfunctional parents
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who are people
who become parents.
00:13:00.71\00:13:04.08
Verily quickly tell us
about Caleb and Abigail.
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Yeah, I was being a
literature evangelist.
00:13:07.75\00:13:11.09
We were going door to door
00:13:11.12\00:13:12.59
meeting all kinds
of people and dogs
00:13:12.62\00:13:15.02
and having many amazing
experiences and miracles
00:13:15.06\00:13:18.59
and God blessed us
with two beautiful children.
00:13:18.63\00:13:21.53
So Caleb was three
and half years old,
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very mild, gentle, beautiful boy
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and Abigail,
ten and half months,
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came out later.
00:13:31.41\00:13:32.74
She was more roly
poly and loved to eat
00:13:32.77\00:13:36.41
and very, very happy baby
00:13:36.44\00:13:38.28
and we were doing our
best as dysfunctional parents
00:13:38.31\00:13:41.15
but we both had come from--
00:13:41.18\00:13:42.95
we both were
carrying our own baggage,
00:13:42.98\00:13:44.69
our own issues and that
was showing up in our marriage
00:13:44.72\00:13:49.36
but we were
doing our best, young.
00:13:49.39\00:13:52.56
I would preach
about two times a month
00:13:52.59\00:13:55.36
all over the state of Colorado
at that point and traveling.
00:13:55.40\00:13:59.27
And so we like to go
as a family and do that
00:13:59.30\00:14:01.87
and we get in our cars
and go to different places.
00:14:01.90\00:14:04.34
All right, so you are--
this two dysfunctional people
00:14:04.37\00:14:09.04
so I'm assuming it's
a dysfunctional marriage
00:14:09.08\00:14:12.25
but you had two beautiful,
two beautiful children
00:14:12.28\00:14:16.12
and on December the third
when Caleb was three and half
00:14:16.15\00:14:21.42
and Abigail was
ten and half months
00:14:21.46\00:14:25.09
you had preached somewhere
00:14:25.13\00:14:26.93
and tell us what
happened afterwards.
00:14:26.96\00:14:30.87
Yeah, after the fellowship meal
00:14:30.90\00:14:33.03
we loaded our
children into the vehicle
00:14:33.07\00:14:35.57
and prayed and began
to drive towards home
00:14:35.60\00:14:40.11
and somewhere
between Almond, Wisconsin
00:14:40.14\00:14:43.28
and our home in Fall
River our car lost control
00:14:43.31\00:14:48.08
and rolled down in an embankment
00:14:48.12\00:14:49.92
three to four times
at 55 miles an hour.
00:14:49.95\00:14:54.02
My wife was driving
and I had fallen asleep.
00:14:54.06\00:14:59.46
My seat was slightly reclined
and as the car began to roll
00:14:59.49\00:15:05.10
I heard her
scream, I pick my head up
00:15:05.13\00:15:07.07
and I saw that we
are going over and then
00:15:07.10\00:15:09.44
it just began to
roll over and over again
00:15:09.47\00:15:13.68
and my head basically
pivoted between the front
00:15:13.71\00:15:18.08
and my ankle in the
front, my head on the post
00:15:18.11\00:15:20.08
between your
front and back doors
00:15:20.12\00:15:23.02
pivoted with an each roll
00:15:23.05\00:15:24.55
but the first most
traumatic roll of the car
00:15:24.59\00:15:29.69
was on my wife's side
00:15:29.72\00:15:32.23
and eventually it stopped
and I was not unconscious.
00:15:32.26\00:15:39.53
I was fully conscious
00:15:39.57\00:15:40.90
and able to see
what was going on.
00:15:40.94\00:15:42.27
I looked to my
left and I saw my wife
00:15:42.30\00:15:44.17
she was completely slumped over.
00:15:44.21\00:15:46.78
There was blood,
there was glass and dirt.
00:15:46.81\00:15:50.68
The windows were blown out.
00:15:50.71\00:15:54.02
I thought she was dead.
00:15:54.05\00:15:56.79
The engine was running so
I turned that off immediately
00:15:56.82\00:16:01.69
and then I looked to
see where my kids were.
00:16:01.72\00:16:04.06
When I turned to the back
00:16:07.16\00:16:09.30
to where Abigail
had been strapped.
00:16:09.33\00:16:11.73
To my horror she was actually
hanging out the back window
00:16:11.77\00:16:14.67
by the child
restraint strap that had failed
00:16:14.70\00:16:18.94
and all of a
sudden as a father...
00:16:18.97\00:16:24.81
an indiscernible emotion of,
I must go to save my daughter
00:16:24.85\00:16:29.12
that's what
daddy's are supposed to do.
00:16:29.15\00:16:30.75
We have to protect
our children to be there
00:16:30.79\00:16:34.96
and I tried the
door the door was jammed.
00:16:34.99\00:16:38.43
I don't know what I did,
00:16:38.46\00:16:39.89
those 15 seconds
are lost from my memory.
00:16:39.93\00:16:42.56
All I can imagine is
00:16:42.60\00:16:43.93
the incredible
trauma of the event.
00:16:43.97\00:16:45.87
I don't know if I went
out the window that was gone
00:16:45.90\00:16:49.64
or if I literally overpowered
the door which they say
00:16:49.67\00:16:54.41
stuff happens like that
with parents in adrenaline.
00:16:54.44\00:16:56.54
I don't know, I can't remember.
00:16:56.58\00:16:59.11
All I know is...
00:16:59.15\00:17:01.12
this incredible feeling of
impotence and ineffectiveness
00:17:01.15\00:17:08.72
and will I be there
in time to save her.
00:17:08.76\00:17:13.60
When I got to her side I
pulled her out of the strap
00:17:13.63\00:17:20.70
and I was not in time.
00:17:20.74\00:17:24.51
So you knew that
she was dead then?
00:17:24.54\00:17:26.44
She was fully limp.
00:17:26.47\00:17:30.08
And I looked to the other side
toward my son should have been
00:17:30.11\00:17:35.02
and he was not there...
00:17:35.05\00:17:38.25
he had been ejected.
00:17:38.29\00:17:39.62
And so I began to
then search for Caleb.
00:17:42.99\00:17:45.49
I'm walking around with
my daughter... in my hand.
00:17:45.53\00:17:48.76
She had taken some of
her first steps that very day
00:17:48.80\00:17:51.27
at the fellowship meal
and my world is collapsed
00:17:51.30\00:17:55.27
and I'm searching for my son.
00:17:55.30\00:17:56.64
I finally find him
about 100 feet away
00:17:56.67\00:17:59.87
lying on the grass not moving.
00:17:59.91\00:18:05.21
I remember putting...
00:18:05.25\00:18:08.15
Abigail next to him...
00:18:08.18\00:18:12.22
trying to touch
him and give him a kiss
00:18:12.25\00:18:15.62
but he didn't move either.
00:18:15.66\00:18:18.96
And there they were,
00:18:18.99\00:18:20.33
I turned back
towards where the car was
00:18:20.36\00:18:24.80
and all I see is
this crumpled metal mess,
00:18:24.83\00:18:29.57
the roof had been collapsed
in and I think my wife is dead,
00:18:29.60\00:18:34.11
here is my children
and I just preached,
00:18:34.14\00:18:37.18
I've been doing
all the right things
00:18:37.21\00:18:38.81
which we were doing our best.
00:18:38.85\00:18:41.55
We prayed, we done all the stuff
00:18:41.58\00:18:43.18
you are supposed to do
00:18:43.22\00:18:44.55
and now my children,
my family is destroyed
00:18:44.59\00:18:48.66
and I remember just walking...
00:18:48.69\00:18:51.06
in shock obviously
in a days, in a circle
00:18:51.09\00:18:54.13
and just yelling
out God, where are You.
00:18:54.16\00:18:58.93
What's happened?
00:18:58.97\00:19:01.70
And...
00:19:01.74\00:19:03.94
eventually a police officer came
00:19:03.97\00:19:07.38
and he began to ask
me a bunch of questions.
00:19:07.41\00:19:11.01
He wanted me to stop
walking around in a circle
00:19:11.05\00:19:13.45
and frantically going
from my children to the car
00:19:13.48\00:19:15.65
and I realize now looking
back that he needed to make sure
00:19:15.68\00:19:20.79
that I was okay but I
remember yelling at him saying,
00:19:20.82\00:19:25.03
I don't care about me
you take care of my kids
00:19:25.06\00:19:27.03
even though I seemed
but know that they were,
00:19:27.06\00:19:30.43
they were dead...
00:19:30.47\00:19:32.57
but you still hope, of course.
00:19:32.60\00:19:34.27
Sure.
00:19:34.30\00:19:35.87
And he sat me down and he kept
asking me all these questions,
00:19:35.90\00:19:39.31
you know, where do
you live, what do you do
00:19:39.34\00:19:41.08
and at one point my
sarcasm or whatever I remember
00:19:41.11\00:19:46.31
specifically I
remember saying to him,
00:19:46.35\00:19:48.68
oh, but you are
glad I'm conscious
00:19:48.72\00:19:50.09
you can get all the answers
to your stupid questions.
00:19:50.12\00:19:52.95
But just in my frustration,
you know, why are you asking me
00:19:52.99\00:19:55.62
this kind of bio-data
information, do something
00:19:55.66\00:20:00.43
but he was trying to keep
me from going fully into shock
00:20:00.46\00:20:04.63
until the paramedics came.
00:20:04.67\00:20:07.37
When they finally arrived...
00:20:07.40\00:20:10.77
something that hurt
me very deeply is...
00:20:10.81\00:20:13.78
they came to me first...
00:20:13.81\00:20:17.71
and they began to lay
me on to the backboard
00:20:17.75\00:20:21.25
and to strap my head in
00:20:21.28\00:20:22.98
and I just
started yelling at them.
00:20:23.02\00:20:24.69
You know, leave me
alone, take care of my children,
00:20:24.72\00:20:27.86
take care of my wife,
I'm okay because I wasn't,
00:20:27.89\00:20:31.09
wasn't hurting that I knew of...
00:20:31.13\00:20:34.70
and they strapped me
in, immobilized me...
00:20:34.73\00:20:39.07
and as they are lifting me
up to carry me to the ambulance
00:20:39.10\00:20:42.77
they happened to tilt on a
hill or something just enough
00:20:43.71\00:20:46.61
and I happen to see...
00:20:46.64\00:20:49.64
my children with a suit
coat over one of their heads
00:20:49.68\00:20:53.78
and a sweater over the other.
00:20:53.82\00:20:57.55
And they took me away...
00:20:57.59\00:21:00.52
as a completely useless father.
00:21:00.56\00:21:06.90
I can't imagine.
00:21:06.93\00:21:08.26
And that was the day when
everything changed for us.
00:21:12.33\00:21:15.20
By the grace of God...
00:21:18.01\00:21:20.18
though I went
of-- necessarily known
00:21:20.21\00:21:22.04
that was the word to use then.
00:21:22.08\00:21:24.78
My wife did not die,
00:21:24.81\00:21:26.15
she was had to be
extracted from the vehicle,
00:21:29.58\00:21:33.25
had to cut the roof off
and she was medflighted to...
00:21:33.29\00:21:38.39
hospital in Madison,
Wisconsin more than a hour away
00:21:38.43\00:21:43.87
and...
00:21:43.90\00:21:46.13
I got to the little
hospital and sure enough
00:21:46.17\00:21:49.70
they checked me
out and x-rayed me
00:21:49.74\00:21:51.71
and the doctor came and said...
00:21:51.74\00:21:55.34
you are not hurt.
00:21:55.38\00:21:57.55
And then he had to be the one
00:21:57.58\00:21:59.61
to tell me that
my children had died.
00:21:59.65\00:22:02.92
I guess the other
professionals and the volunteers
00:22:02.95\00:22:06.59
that's not their job
00:22:06.62\00:22:09.09
or the
responsibility to do that.
00:22:09.12\00:22:10.86
They needed to keep me
with something to focus on.
00:22:10.89\00:22:12.96
They kept saying...
00:22:12.99\00:22:14.93
everyone is helping,
they are working on things,
00:22:14.96\00:22:17.57
you know, they
needed me to stay.
00:22:17.60\00:22:18.93
All they want to
make sure you were okay
00:22:18.97\00:22:20.30
before they talk with you.
00:22:20.34\00:22:21.67
Right.
00:22:21.70\00:22:23.04
And they didn't
know to their credit,
00:22:23.07\00:22:24.64
no one knew I could have a
hairline fracture in my neck
00:22:24.67\00:22:27.51
or so they did
what they need to do
00:22:27.54\00:22:30.01
but the doctor
had the responsibility
00:22:30.05\00:22:31.41
of giving me the horrible news.
00:22:31.45\00:22:33.31
And then I made some
phone calls to some friends
00:22:35.75\00:22:38.09
and destroyed
their afternoon as well.
00:22:38.12\00:22:41.62
You know, as you said...
00:22:41.66\00:22:44.49
this was an event...
00:22:44.53\00:22:46.96
and you feel like you
are doing everything right
00:22:47.06\00:22:48.53
even though you do have
a dysfunctional marriage
00:22:48.56\00:22:52.43
and you know you got
some marital problems.
00:22:52.47\00:22:55.20
But you've got these
two beautiful children,
00:22:55.24\00:22:57.21
you are preaching,
and you are praying
00:22:57.24\00:23:00.08
before you got in
your car you prayed.
00:23:00.11\00:23:01.44
I know that Penny,
your wife in your book
00:23:03.35\00:23:08.32
Penny ended up with a
loss of use of her left hand
00:23:08.35\00:23:11.49
and I want to come back
to what her first words were
00:23:16.02\00:23:19.06
but what's in my mind right
now and I know that you at home
00:23:19.09\00:23:22.80
are watching is that
did you get angry at God.
00:23:22.83\00:23:26.70
Where you, where you like Lord,
00:23:26.74\00:23:29.24
you know, what
more could I've done,
00:23:29.27\00:23:31.17
what has happened here?
00:23:31.21\00:23:33.38
Yes, I shared the
story a number of times
00:23:33.41\00:23:38.41
in speaking events and...
00:23:38.45\00:23:42.62
the reality is...
00:23:42.65\00:23:44.55
I had made a very
serious mistake in my life
00:23:44.59\00:23:47.42
and it's one that I
image many people make
00:23:48.92\00:23:51.53
though we might
not be able to clearly
00:23:51.56\00:23:53.09
describe it as I'm about to.
00:23:53.13\00:23:56.00
But for some
reason I don't think
00:23:56.03\00:23:57.50
its something
that necessarily taught
00:23:57.53\00:23:59.33
or forced on
people but I had caught it
00:23:59.37\00:24:02.07
and the mistake
was I had thought
00:24:02.10\00:24:04.01
that my relationship with God
00:24:04.04\00:24:05.57
was built upon
what I did for Him.
00:24:05.61\00:24:07.78
There you go.
00:24:07.81\00:24:09.14
You know, I
would have worshipped,
00:24:09.18\00:24:10.51
I would have
devotions, I would witness,
00:24:10.55\00:24:12.28
I would preach, I would teach,
00:24:12.31\00:24:13.78
I, I, I, there's a
bit of a problem there
00:24:13.82\00:24:17.39
but that's what I thought it was
00:24:17.42\00:24:19.29
and so as a married couple
00:24:19.32\00:24:22.69
we had made choices
to not do certain things
00:24:22.72\00:24:25.33
and to guide our lives in
various ways and do our best
00:24:25.36\00:24:28.46
and based on
this foundational lie
00:24:28.50\00:24:32.03
everything that we thought
we are supposed to be doing
00:24:32.07\00:24:34.60
and then our kids die...
00:24:34.64\00:24:36.84
on a day that I'm preaching.
00:24:36.87\00:24:40.54
Yeah, many times
I'm hardly angry at God.
00:24:40.58\00:24:44.01
And I think that's
the not but even though,
00:24:44.05\00:24:45.71
you know, once
you come to your sins
00:24:45.75\00:24:47.45
as you know God didn't cause it
00:24:47.48\00:24:49.18
but I still talk with
so many Christians who say,
00:24:49.22\00:24:51.65
yeah, but He allowed it.
00:24:51.69\00:24:53.02
Why did He allow it?
00:24:53.05\00:24:54.99
And it's something that
00:24:55.02\00:24:56.96
that's a natural part
of the grieving process
00:24:56.99\00:24:59.43
and God's big
enough to handle it.
00:24:59.46\00:25:00.86
If you ever feel like
you are upset with God,
00:25:00.90\00:25:04.60
He already knows it you
may as well talk about it,
00:25:04.63\00:25:07.14
talk to Him about it.
00:25:07.17\00:25:08.70
I know that I've
been there in my lifetime
00:25:08.74\00:25:10.97
and it was a life
changing experience.
00:25:11.01\00:25:14.78
I think
sometimes you got to get--
00:25:14.81\00:25:17.65
I should say that some people
00:25:17.68\00:25:19.01
have to get really--
00:25:19.05\00:25:21.92
if you built up
wall around your emotions
00:25:21.95\00:25:25.22
I think God has to let you
00:25:25.25\00:25:26.59
sometimes allow
you get really angry
00:25:26.62\00:25:29.12
before you can
allow Him to love you.
00:25:29.16\00:25:31.96
I don't know how to
say that. That's right.
00:25:31.99\00:25:34.03
Okay, so you are going
through some natural reaction
00:25:34.06\00:25:39.67
and I imagine almost vividly.
00:25:39.70\00:25:41.64
Let's kind of back track,
I didn't mean to fast forward
00:25:41.67\00:25:44.64
over Penny's reaction.
00:25:44.67\00:25:46.37
When she woke in the hospital,
when she came to consciousness
00:25:46.41\00:25:51.01
did she remember this event?
00:25:51.05\00:25:53.01
When she finally
arrived to that hospital
00:25:56.95\00:26:00.59
they didn't know
what would happen.
00:26:00.62\00:26:03.73
The head trauma that she
experienced with the roll over
00:26:03.76\00:26:06.70
and so forth it
was glass everywhere
00:26:06.73\00:26:08.56
and within one day
her head had swollen
00:26:08.60\00:26:11.60
to such an extent
that when her mother
00:26:11.63\00:26:13.70
came a day later she
can't even recognize her.
00:26:13.74\00:26:17.74
They didn't even
know she would survive.
00:26:17.77\00:26:21.34
And so they had
actually I believe put it in,
00:26:21.38\00:26:24.05
put her into some what
of a medically induced coma
00:26:24.08\00:26:27.02
for a little bit of time
00:26:27.05\00:26:28.38
just to see what
was going to happen.
00:26:28.42\00:26:30.79
But the second day
my brother was there
00:26:30.82\00:26:33.82
and my parents had
finally arrived from Alaska.
00:26:33.86\00:26:36.29
My family was around me.
00:26:36.32\00:26:37.93
Previously to that
our church family had been
00:26:37.96\00:26:39.93
just amazing to our lives
00:26:39.96\00:26:43.03
but the nurse came
to me and said, okay,
00:26:43.06\00:26:44.53
we are taking her
out of that induced state
00:26:44.57\00:26:48.04
you should be there
00:26:48.07\00:26:49.84
and so I remember
going in with my brother
00:26:49.87\00:26:53.44
watching my wife wondering
00:26:53.48\00:26:56.75
if she hadn't come
out and she finally did.
00:26:56.78\00:27:03.79
And the first
thing out of her mouth
00:27:03.82\00:27:07.49
as an amazing
broken dysfunctional mother
00:27:07.52\00:27:11.46
would do she said,
where are my babies?
00:27:11.49\00:27:18.13
And that donned to me
that no one had told her.
00:27:18.17\00:27:23.14
Of course, no one could have
00:27:23.17\00:27:24.97
and there
immediately my legs went limp,
00:27:25.01\00:27:29.71
my brother's arm
stiffened to hold me up
00:27:29.74\00:27:33.25
and I had to tell
her that they are gone,
00:27:33.28\00:27:38.45
they are dead
00:27:38.49\00:27:42.09
and she couldn't really
move or express anything.
00:27:42.12\00:27:44.23
She could barely talk,
00:27:44.26\00:27:45.59
even there are
tubes every where.
00:27:45.63\00:27:46.96
Both of her lungs had
collapsed and she just kind of
00:27:47.00\00:27:52.83
shut her eyes again
and went back to sleep
00:27:52.87\00:27:57.54
and I wondered if she
would choose to keep fighting.
00:27:57.57\00:28:01.04
Yes.
00:28:01.08\00:28:04.85
But she did.
00:28:04.88\00:28:06.21
Praise the
Lord. Praise the Lord.
00:28:06.25\00:28:08.98
So she really has no memory.
00:28:09.02\00:28:13.86
I mean, its like
the time of the accident
00:28:13.89\00:28:16.73
you don't really know
what happened with the car,
00:28:16.76\00:28:19.23
she has no memory and
maybe that was God's way of
00:28:19.26\00:28:23.10
kind of putting a
blanket over this situation
00:28:23.13\00:28:25.23
so that she didn't
have to relive that.
00:28:25.27\00:28:27.50
Did she, did Penny go
through the, it's my fault,
00:28:27.54\00:28:32.64
the feelings of guilt that she
got through that stage at all
00:28:32.67\00:28:37.85
since she was the driver?
00:28:37.88\00:28:39.98
In our marriage it
wasn't something that we usually
00:28:40.02\00:28:43.49
talked much about
and she didn't feel
00:28:43.52\00:28:45.59
it was her fault
00:28:45.62\00:28:47.86
because she
probably couldn't remember.
00:28:47.89\00:28:49.72
I think that is
a mercy actually.
00:28:49.76\00:28:51.19
Yes.
00:28:51.23\00:28:52.56
I know compared to my
having to see everything
00:28:52.59\00:28:56.46
certainly was a mercy.
00:28:56.50\00:28:58.83
So I'm grateful
that she didn't have that
00:28:58.87\00:29:00.70
and I never felt that
it was her fault either.
00:29:00.74\00:29:05.41
So that blame was
not an issue though,
00:29:05.44\00:29:08.58
though I did share
later as I was reflecting
00:29:08.61\00:29:12.08
and trying to
write our story out
00:29:12.11\00:29:14.32
and many people
told us to write in
00:29:14.35\00:29:15.72
so its finally happened now.
00:29:15.75\00:29:18.05
There is a chapter
00:29:18.09\00:29:19.42
we're specifically
talking about forgiveness
00:29:19.45\00:29:21.32
and if we have time we
can talk about that later
00:29:21.36\00:29:24.96
but it took many years for
her it seems to actually fully
00:29:24.99\00:29:29.10
at a deep emotional
level forgive herself
00:29:29.13\00:29:32.70
when she was able to
forgive someone else.
00:29:32.73\00:29:34.87
Okay, and so
that's typical I think.
00:29:34.90\00:29:37.84
You know, how did-- we want
to come back to that forgiveness
00:29:37.87\00:29:41.91
but I want to make certain that
we talk about how the Lord--
00:29:41.94\00:29:47.85
here you are already on a
path of broken marriage almost,
00:29:47.88\00:29:51.52
use the words and you
know, when you said that
00:29:51.55\00:29:54.06
it was more merciful than
being able to see everything
00:29:54.09\00:29:57.49
but I believe you
told me just little
00:29:57.53\00:29:59.39
before we came on the air
00:29:59.43\00:30:00.76
that you had built up
these walls around your heart
00:30:00.80\00:30:05.67
trying to be the
Superman not to--
00:30:05.70\00:30:08.47
not to have any highs and
lows after your heart was broken
00:30:08.50\00:30:11.81
and you say something
when you go out speaking,
00:30:11.84\00:30:16.14
when you talk about salvation.
00:30:16.18\00:30:18.81
What is it that you say? Yeah.
00:30:18.85\00:30:22.78
These last 20
years since the accident
00:30:22.82\00:30:26.86
God has taught us so many things
00:30:26.89\00:30:30.96
from that day of decimation
00:30:30.99\00:30:33.93
that He is literally
transformed our lives.
00:30:33.96\00:30:37.03
And so often
times when I'm speaking
00:30:37.07\00:30:38.87
to either group of
Christians or even Muslims
00:30:38.90\00:30:42.00
and as a bridge
person I speak to both groups
00:30:42.04\00:30:45.84
and I like to ask a question
00:30:45.87\00:30:47.54
which kind of causes
trouble for many people.
00:30:47.58\00:30:50.45
I ask the question--
00:30:50.48\00:30:51.81
You like the stir the
pot is what you are saying.
00:30:51.85\00:30:53.92
But one thing we have
learned from the accident is
00:30:53.95\00:30:55.85
life is too short this
side of the wing to be boring.
00:30:55.88\00:30:58.72
Okay, that's good.
00:30:58.75\00:31:00.36
So we enjoy life as a
gift and it is a gift,
00:31:00.39\00:31:04.06
not to be taken for granted.
00:31:04.09\00:31:05.99
So I say to people
when were you saved
00:31:06.03\00:31:09.13
and that causes
quite a religious conundrum
00:31:09.16\00:31:12.43
for many people
depending on their group.
00:31:12.47\00:31:14.50
You know, some groups know
exactly when they are saved
00:31:14.54\00:31:16.64
and when and who and what
time but others aren't sure
00:31:16.67\00:31:19.54
and others would
even wonder why on earth
00:31:19.57\00:31:21.78
I said saved in the past tense.
00:31:21.81\00:31:23.81
And so, so you have
all these different things
00:31:23.85\00:31:26.15
and I give them some
time to work it through
00:31:26.18\00:31:28.32
and then finally I say
00:31:28.35\00:31:29.68
well, I was saved on the
day that my children died
00:31:29.72\00:31:35.26
and you can just see a ripple
go through the crowd like,
00:31:35.29\00:31:39.56
what are you talking about.
00:31:39.59\00:31:41.43
How can you say that saved you?
00:31:41.46\00:31:44.00
But what I mean is,
00:31:44.03\00:31:46.53
God saved me from a
broken picture of who He is.
00:31:46.57\00:31:53.21
A broken marriage and
what marriage could be.
00:31:53.24\00:31:57.65
He saved me from a warped view
of the world and that my role
00:31:57.68\00:32:02.32
in that world, He
saved me from this,
00:32:02.35\00:32:05.45
this baseline lie that says my
relationship with Him is built
00:32:05.49\00:32:08.89
on what I do
00:32:08.92\00:32:11.09
and He has transformed our lives
00:32:11.13\00:32:13.09
because of the accident.
00:32:13.13\00:32:15.76
And by His
grace and in His mercy
00:32:15.80\00:32:19.13
He has now given
us back four children
00:32:19.17\00:32:21.87
in the time that
lapsed in miraculous ways
00:32:21.90\00:32:26.41
so that all I can do is
just lift my hands in praise
00:32:26.44\00:32:29.84
and say He saved me.
00:32:29.88\00:32:32.85
You know, I have to
share something with you.
00:32:32.88\00:32:36.79
I was speaking in
England, large group
00:32:36.82\00:32:42.16
and we came to Romans
8:28 which a lot of people
00:32:42.19\00:32:45.33
like to quote "That all
things work together for good
00:32:45.36\00:32:48.80
to those who love the Lord,
00:32:48.83\00:32:50.37
and are called
according to His purpose."
00:32:50.40\00:32:52.93
And I told people be
careful when you use that
00:32:52.97\00:32:56.47
because and here's what I said,
I said, if a mother has just
00:32:56.50\00:33:00.68
lost her husband and
two children in an accident
00:33:00.71\00:33:04.01
you don't want to come up
00:33:04.05\00:33:05.38
and I'm actually heard
people do this at a funeral
00:33:05.41\00:33:08.45
and say "All things
work together for good
00:33:08.48\00:33:11.15
for those who love the Lord,
00:33:11.19\00:33:12.52
and are called
according to His purpose."
00:33:12.55\00:33:14.69
You know, if
someone did that to me
00:33:14.72\00:33:16.96
I think I would want to succumb.
00:33:16.99\00:33:19.09
But as I explained is
that scripture cannot be--
00:33:19.13\00:33:22.96
Romans 8:28 cannot be separated
00:33:23.00\00:33:26.60
that "All things
work together for good
00:33:26.63\00:33:29.34
for those who love the Lord,
00:33:29.37\00:33:30.71
and are called
according to His purpose.
00:33:30.74\00:33:32.44
For those He foreknew,
00:33:32.47\00:33:37.18
He predestined to be conformed
00:33:37.21\00:33:39.05
to the image of
His Son, Jesus Christ."
00:33:39.08\00:33:41.75
So the way in which God works
00:33:41.78\00:33:43.79
all things together for our good
00:33:43.82\00:33:46.32
is that through the experience
He helps us to develop
00:33:46.35\00:33:51.99
more of the character of Christ.
00:33:52.03\00:33:54.43
How did God help you as
a man, as a husband, Penny,
00:33:54.46\00:34:00.17
how did He-- I mean,
here you got a noisy house,
00:34:00.20\00:34:04.01
two little children
ten and half months old,
00:34:04.04\00:34:06.64
there and half months old.
00:34:06.68\00:34:08.31
You've got this house that's
filled with life, laughter,
00:34:08.34\00:34:12.41
crying, caring on and
then suddenly the next day
00:34:12.45\00:34:17.19
you've got a house of silence,
you've got two grieving,
00:34:17.22\00:34:20.82
broken people-- I mean,
00:34:20.86\00:34:23.12
who are broken
before the accident
00:34:23.16\00:34:24.89
but you are grieving
and there is a silence.
00:34:24.93\00:34:28.16
How did God reach you?
00:34:28.20\00:34:29.53
How did He change you? Yes.
00:34:29.56\00:34:34.27
In our pain, in our
brokenness, in the anger,
00:34:34.30\00:34:37.27
in the depression the
thing that truly changed us was
00:34:37.31\00:34:43.41
because of my lie that I've
already mentioned in the midst
00:34:43.45\00:34:47.75
of the anger I could not do
all the things I used to do.
00:34:47.78\00:34:53.32
If I tried to have devotions
the anger would absolutely
00:34:53.36\00:34:57.06
destroy whatever I was reading.
00:34:57.09\00:34:59.13
If I tried to
close my eyes to pray
00:34:59.16\00:35:01.60
I would have a flashback
00:35:01.63\00:35:03.26
from the day of the accident
because my mind had to work
00:35:03.30\00:35:06.70
through those things.
00:35:06.74\00:35:08.17
Those were
horrendous so I start praying.
00:35:08.20\00:35:13.01
I couldn't do all those things.
00:35:13.04\00:35:14.61
I wasn't preaching, I wasn't
teaching, I wasn't witnessing.
00:35:14.64\00:35:16.95
We were barely functioning.
00:35:16.98\00:35:18.48
And so I remember going
to our grief counselor Frank
00:35:18.51\00:35:20.85
and share with him
just matter effectively.
00:35:20.88\00:35:25.65
I don't think I'm
a believer anymore.
00:35:25.69\00:35:27.86
And he said, why?
00:35:27.89\00:35:29.59
I said, because I can't do
all the things I used to do.
00:35:29.62\00:35:33.70
And he said the words
that have changed our lives.
00:35:33.73\00:35:36.60
He said, Bryan, its
not what you do for God
00:35:36.63\00:35:40.90
that builds your relationship,
it's what He does for you.
00:35:40.94\00:35:43.97
Amen.
00:35:44.01\00:35:45.41
Let Him love you.
00:35:45.44\00:35:48.08
Amen.
00:35:48.11\00:35:49.78
And so in our brokenness
when we could do nothing
00:35:49.81\00:35:54.52
my wife and I began to
just simply let God love us.
00:35:54.55\00:35:57.99
We began to
learn about what His--
00:35:58.02\00:36:01.32
a more true
picture of who He is.
00:36:01.36\00:36:03.73
You know, there's many
different pictures of people
00:36:03.76\00:36:05.29
have of God.
00:36:05.33\00:36:06.66
You can have the
divine wending machine
00:36:06.70\00:36:08.03
where you put in your prayers,
00:36:08.06\00:36:09.40
you pay your tithe, you
do your different things,
00:36:09.43\00:36:10.77
you press your button
and get your blessing.
00:36:10.80\00:36:13.10
But what happens if it doesn't
work or you have the almost
00:36:13.13\00:36:15.97
the Santa Clause
picture in the sky,
00:36:16.00\00:36:17.74
you better not-- you better
not cry, is to making list,
00:36:17.77\00:36:19.84
you know, all
these different things
00:36:19.87\00:36:22.48
but what when bad things happen
what's the picture of God.
00:36:22.51\00:36:26.48
And I remember just being
transformed and blessed by this
00:36:26.51\00:36:31.52
new to us I guess in
the context of our pain,
00:36:31.55\00:36:36.06
Jeremiah 31:3 where God says,
00:36:36.09\00:36:38.03
"Behold, I have loved
you with an everlasting love.
00:36:38.06\00:36:41.06
Therefore with loving-kindness
I have drawn you."
00:36:41.10\00:36:44.13
So its not what we do,
its not that I bring God
00:36:44.17\00:36:46.94
or that I witness for
God, its not what I do
00:36:46.97\00:36:49.44
but He is only draws us.
00:36:49.47\00:36:50.94
Amen.
00:36:50.97\00:36:52.31
And so we allow,
we-- as Frank said,
00:36:52.34\00:36:54.91
let Him love
you and we did that.
00:36:54.94\00:36:58.51
And there were--
we began to learn
00:36:58.55\00:37:01.12
about his amazing deep
abiding passionate love
00:37:01.15\00:37:04.95
when we could do nothing.
00:37:04.99\00:37:06.92
And he also used the church
to love and bless us in ways
00:37:06.96\00:37:10.96
that I know its normal
00:37:10.99\00:37:13.60
but it made an incredible
difference for our lives.
00:37:13.63\00:37:16.20
What do you mean in
ways that we are not normal?
00:37:16.23\00:37:18.70
Unfortunately I travel around
the world and I speak and share
00:37:18.73\00:37:21.60
about these things and other
things as well and often times
00:37:21.64\00:37:24.77
people say well, the church
is sometimes known for shooting
00:37:24.81\00:37:27.88
its wounded or not caring
for people and yet in our own
00:37:27.91\00:37:33.52
experience they loved us
in beautiful and tangible ways
00:37:33.55\00:37:37.29
and part of the
reason is I share in the book
00:37:37.32\00:37:39.59
is to give examples
to those simple ways
00:37:39.62\00:37:44.26
that church members
and the body of Christ
00:37:44.29\00:37:47.93
can love people who are broken
instead of saying Romans 8:28.
00:37:47.96\00:37:52.23
Right.
00:37:52.27\00:37:53.70
You know, there is times
you almost want to hit someone
00:37:53.74\00:37:55.47
with things that we might say
00:37:55.50\00:37:56.94
and people say I
don't know what to say.
00:37:56.97\00:37:58.71
So we've written those things
and we shared our experience.
00:37:58.74\00:38:01.11
If you don't know what
to say keep it to yourself.
00:38:01.14\00:38:02.84
That's better, yes.
00:38:02.88\00:38:04.21
I call it divine duct tape duty.
00:38:04.25\00:38:06.58
You know, give me a
shoulder and hug and cry and,
00:38:06.61\00:38:08.82
and so we shared the ways that
our churched loved us in very
00:38:08.85\00:38:12.85
tangible human ways but also
then God was ministering to us
00:38:12.89\00:38:17.79
in a more
personal and spiritual way.
00:38:17.83\00:38:21.26
And as that
happened He began to teach us
00:38:21.30\00:38:27.17
that its not what we do,
00:38:27.20\00:38:29.94
it's what He does and
it's what He has done in Christ
00:38:29.97\00:38:33.24
so that we are loved
not because of performance
00:38:33.27\00:38:36.18
but we are loved
because of who we are in Christ.
00:38:36.21\00:38:39.85
Absolutely and that
is such for many of us
00:38:39.88\00:38:42.15
for many
different denominations.
00:38:42.18\00:38:43.52
I didn't grew up an Adventist
but that has-- is a little pit
00:38:43.55\00:38:48.09
I fall into every now and then
and I did that after my sister
00:38:48.12\00:38:52.43
was died just
little over a year ago.
00:38:52.46\00:38:56.10
My last blood relative
and I got to that point
00:38:56.13\00:38:59.30
where I couldn't
read, I couldn't-- you know,
00:38:59.33\00:39:01.60
I was having
trouble praying and it was,
00:39:01.64\00:39:03.71
it was like what's wrong with
me and I felt like I'm losing
00:39:03.74\00:39:06.84
my grip and the Lord just
had to bring me around to let me
00:39:06.88\00:39:10.51
know that, you
know, rest in Him.
00:39:10.55\00:39:13.38
It's not about
performance and God understands.
00:39:13.42\00:39:17.19
Now you're a counselor,
you are grief counselor.
00:39:17.22\00:39:21.82
Explain to you that going
through such a traumatic event,
00:39:21.86\00:39:26.33
you had an 85 percent chance,
00:39:26.36\00:39:28.73
percentile of getting a divorce,
00:39:28.76\00:39:32.77
He told you some great advice.
00:39:32.80\00:39:34.70
Now I like you to
explain when He said to you
00:39:34.74\00:39:38.61
if you are gonna make,
if you gonna stay together
00:39:38.64\00:39:41.01
you got to work at a--
00:39:41.04\00:39:42.44
it's got to be an intentional
effort to restore a marriage.
00:39:42.48\00:39:47.42
But God in this case
more than restored a marriage
00:39:47.45\00:39:50.69
He recreated your marriage.
00:39:50.72\00:39:52.32
That's right. Talk about that.
00:39:52.35\00:39:54.76
As you have already mentioned
it is a mind warping experience
00:39:54.79\00:39:59.03
to one day be a family of four
and the next day be a decimated
00:39:59.06\00:40:04.03
couple of people
look at each other
00:40:04.07\00:40:06.27
and don't even know
each other at that point.
00:40:06.30\00:40:08.07
Your whole identity has been
to be a parent at that point,
00:40:08.10\00:40:14.31
especially when the
marriage wasn't so strong
00:40:14.34\00:40:16.14
and now that's gone.
00:40:16.18\00:40:18.38
And so we were told you had
to start intentionally dating,
00:40:18.41\00:40:21.92
intentionally
getting to know each other,
00:40:21.95\00:40:23.89
choosing to spend time
together, asking questions,
00:40:23.92\00:40:29.66
writing things down just
00:40:29.69\00:40:32.09
and we began
to-- we started over.
00:40:32.13\00:40:36.40
Relationship
one on one. Exactly.
00:40:36.43\00:40:39.17
We started with learning
what marriage is supposed to be
00:40:39.20\00:40:43.30
because neither us came
hardwired with that with our
00:40:43.34\00:40:46.68
dysfunction and as you
mentioned my walls being,
00:40:46.71\00:40:50.01
haven't been broken down even
in our marriage and agreement
00:40:50.05\00:40:54.08
and commitment all
those things to each other.
00:40:54.12\00:40:55.85
I still hadn't
opened my heart to my wife.
00:40:55.88\00:40:58.25
I was still planning
to turn on my emotions off
00:40:58.29\00:41:00.22
and not let
anyone else hurt me again
00:41:00.26\00:41:02.39
and yet God in
His raw mercy made me
00:41:02.42\00:41:08.80
see things or allowed-- it's
almost as how He handcrafted
00:41:08.83\00:41:14.44
or adjusted the accident
to transform Penny in the way
00:41:14.47\00:41:17.47
that she needed to
be touched and changed
00:41:17.51\00:41:19.87
and also in the ways
that I needed by splitting me
00:41:19.91\00:41:23.04
wide open to a place
00:41:23.08\00:41:24.41
that I couldn't
possibly ignore those emotions.
00:41:24.45\00:41:26.95
And He saved me for my
life of no joy or sadness
00:41:26.98\00:41:32.12
because I believe in
the years that have fallen
00:41:32.15\00:41:34.66
God has made us to
be complete human beings
00:41:34.69\00:41:37.29
with the ability
to feel joy and pain
00:41:37.33\00:41:40.30
and He wants to
meet us in all of those
00:41:40.33\00:41:42.50
and that's what He's done.
00:41:42.53\00:41:44.10
And so in our marriage
then we learned about boundaries
00:41:44.13\00:41:49.10
which is a very
important thing for us.
00:41:49.14\00:41:51.47
One, we were really
intrigued by the signs those
00:41:51.51\00:41:55.04
on a psychiatrist
wall at one point, it says,
00:41:55.08\00:41:57.98
"today I will not
should on myself."
00:41:58.01\00:42:02.08
And--
00:42:02.12\00:42:03.45
I would not should,
00:42:03.49\00:42:04.82
s - h - o - u - l - d on myself.
00:42:04.85\00:42:06.92
And what I'm speaking publicly
00:42:06.96\00:42:08.29
I should not
escape that carefully.
00:42:08.32\00:42:09.76
Very carefully.
00:42:09.79\00:42:11.19
That the importance of
that is do things intentionally.
00:42:11.23\00:42:16.16
Don't live your
life as I should do this,
00:42:16.20\00:42:17.87
I should do that
and you give, give,
00:42:17.90\00:42:19.33
give until you have
nothing more to give
00:42:19.37\00:42:20.70
and then you break.
00:42:20.74\00:42:22.07
Something breaks,
00:42:22.10\00:42:23.44
whether its burnout
or broken relationships.
00:42:23.47\00:42:24.81
And so we begin to
realize whenever each,
00:42:24.84\00:42:27.64
either one of us would begin to
say I should go here otherwise
00:42:27.68\00:42:30.18
you would say, are
you should in on yourself?
00:42:30.21\00:42:33.42
You know, be careful,
do you want to do that.
00:42:33.45\00:42:35.55
Yes.
00:42:35.58\00:42:36.92
So even when it came
to worship and things.
00:42:36.95\00:42:39.22
We might wake up on the morning
that we normally go to church
00:42:39.25\00:42:42.76
and we look each other
and say, do you want to go?
00:42:42.79\00:42:49.20
And even though its an amazing
loving church there that has
00:42:49.23\00:42:51.90
blessed us there
are still where times
00:42:51.93\00:42:53.50
we didn't want to go
00:42:53.54\00:42:54.87
do the happy
Sabbath, how are you face.
00:42:54.90\00:42:57.64
You know, though the
plastic people experience
00:42:57.67\00:43:00.28
where everyone comes
and says, how are you doing
00:43:00.31\00:43:01.91
but they really
don't want to know.
00:43:01.94\00:43:03.88
And were we able
to go and say, yeah,
00:43:03.91\00:43:06.88
everything is
fine when it wasn't
00:43:06.92\00:43:08.45
and we would finally--
00:43:08.48\00:43:09.82
there would be times we would
say no, we are not gonna go,
00:43:09.85\00:43:11.99
God can love us here.
00:43:12.02\00:43:13.46
And, you know,
there are sometimes
00:43:13.49\00:43:15.16
my husband and I
travel quite a bit,
00:43:15.19\00:43:16.83
we minister and we just keep
00:43:16.86\00:43:19.46
such an
incredible hectic schedule.
00:43:19.49\00:43:22.06
There are times that we
have chosen to just felt
00:43:22.10\00:43:27.34
led by the Lord to stay at home.
00:43:27.37\00:43:29.60
That happen not
too many Sabbath ago
00:43:29.64\00:43:31.84
when it was the first Sabbath
00:43:31.87\00:43:33.24
we would have free
in so long that I spend
00:43:33.27\00:43:36.85
eight hours in the
Bible and just I had the most
00:43:36.88\00:43:39.55
glorious day with the Lord.
00:43:39.58\00:43:40.92
Now, I don't believe
in forsaken the assembly
00:43:40.95\00:43:43.25
but there are times
when God can minister to you.
00:43:43.28\00:43:46.22
He knows your names so there
is nothing wrong with that.
00:43:46.25\00:43:50.79
Let me fast forward then we
are gonna backtrack a little.
00:43:50.83\00:43:54.46
You have written
about your experience,
00:43:54.50\00:43:57.93
about the healing experience.
00:43:57.97\00:43:59.43
Tell us the book
is called "Undeniable,
00:43:59.47\00:44:03.57
an epic journey
through pain by Bryan Gallant."
00:44:03.61\00:44:07.74
"Undeniable, An Epic Journey
Through Pain" and this book
00:44:07.78\00:44:13.21
is available on Amazon.com
and through your website
00:44:13.25\00:44:18.42
which is undeniablethebook.com.
00:44:18.45\00:44:21.92
Okay, tell us why
you wrote this book
00:44:21.96\00:44:26.43
and how you've
constructed this book?
00:44:26.46\00:44:30.47
I shared our story in the book
because I believe we are living
00:44:30.50\00:44:33.70
in a time where
many people are ignoring
00:44:33.74\00:44:38.24
running from
medicating, avoiding their pain.
00:44:38.27\00:44:42.48
Yes.
00:44:42.51\00:44:43.85
And so because of
that we are surrounded
00:44:43.88\00:44:45.61
by many broken wounded people
00:44:45.65\00:44:47.88
who have not
actually gone through
00:44:47.92\00:44:49.98
the stages of grief,
they've learned to function
00:44:50.02\00:44:52.55
that whatever love that
is but they are not whole.
00:44:52.59\00:44:57.03
And so even by
curiously our hope is
00:44:57.06\00:45:00.03
that as people read out story
00:45:00.06\00:45:01.66
and enter into the emotions
and experience through our pain
00:45:01.70\00:45:05.53
that God can meet
them in their pain.
00:45:05.57\00:45:08.70
And so I wrote it in a way
that's is accessible to people
00:45:08.74\00:45:12.57
not only Christian,
not only any denomination
00:45:12.61\00:45:16.21
or any particular denomination.
00:45:16.24\00:45:17.58
It's written so that a thinking
atheist, a thinking Muslim,
00:45:17.61\00:45:21.22
Buddhist, Hindu
or whatever a human,
00:45:21.25\00:45:25.39
a human whose experienced pain
will be touched by the words
00:45:25.42\00:45:28.52
and invited to a place of
healing where they can find
00:45:28.56\00:45:30.83
God's love ministering
to them at their place.
00:45:30.86\00:45:33.43
And it is not that
when you said that you
00:45:33.46\00:45:34.80
wrote it for anyone,
00:45:34.83\00:45:36.16
its not that you loved
God out of this by any means
00:45:36.20\00:45:38.43
because God is central to
this but it is just the manner
00:45:38.47\00:45:41.90
in which its kind of a--
00:45:41.94\00:45:45.47
there is not a
denominational approach in this.
00:45:45.51\00:45:48.41
It's more open for all people.
00:45:48.44\00:45:50.95
I want to-- we
are gonna be running
00:45:50.98\00:45:53.11
out of time
here in just a moment
00:45:53.15\00:45:54.48
so what I would like to do
is we have Bryan's address.
00:45:54.52\00:45:58.75
If you would like to invite
him to come to your church to do
00:45:58.79\00:46:02.19
a grief seminar or to speak
or if you want to get his book
00:46:02.22\00:46:07.03
through his website
00:46:07.06\00:46:09.50
here's how you may
get in touch with Bryan.
00:46:09.53\00:46:15.50
If you would like to contact
Bryan Gallant or learn how you
00:46:15.54\00:46:18.67
can receive a copy of his
book Undeniable you can do so
00:46:18.71\00:46:22.54
by calling 678-532-8787,
00:46:22.58\00:46:27.38
that's 678-532-8787
00:46:27.42\00:46:31.99
or go online at
UndeniableTheBook.com
00:46:32.02\00:46:35.49
that's UndeniableTheBook.com.
00:46:35.52\00:46:37.69
You know, this is
such an amazing story
00:46:46.53\00:46:48.14
and I have to say, Bryan,
you are a delightful writer.
00:46:48.17\00:46:51.44
It's a beautifully written book.
00:46:51.47\00:46:53.88
But in this I think we
need to mention how God restored
00:46:53.91\00:46:59.61
on December 3rd, three
years after your children
00:46:59.65\00:47:04.39
were killed in the auto accident
00:47:04.42\00:47:07.16
let's talk about just a moment
00:47:07.19\00:47:08.72
how God restored and began
to start a new family for you.
00:47:08.76\00:47:12.93
Yes.
00:47:12.96\00:47:14.36
When we, when we
finished going back to school
00:47:14.40\00:47:17.77
and Penny
recovered and began to learn
00:47:17.80\00:47:20.27
to live life without
her left hand anymore
00:47:20.30\00:47:23.51
we went back
overseas to Micronesia.
00:47:23.54\00:47:26.31
We basically said we
are willing to serve again
00:47:26.34\00:47:28.38
and they had us to go
there to the Island of Yap
00:47:28.41\00:47:32.11
to be a principle of a
K-12 school system there.
00:47:32.15\00:47:35.18
And so we went as still two
broken people but still wanting
00:47:35.22\00:47:38.35
to serve because God
had begun to bless us.
00:47:38.39\00:47:41.26
While we are there and
miraculous chain of events
00:47:41.29\00:47:45.79
God arranged for us
to adopt an unborn child,
00:47:45.83\00:47:49.00
Yapese child where Penny
was able to see him being born
00:47:49.03\00:47:54.10
on Thanksgiving day and we went
00:47:54.14\00:47:58.51
through all the
adoptive paper work
00:47:58.54\00:47:59.97
and everything
because its in the book there
00:48:00.01\00:48:02.44
but all the things for
$30, international adoption
00:48:02.48\00:48:06.68
so little bit cheaper than
usual by a couple of digits.
00:48:06.72\00:48:10.49
We were able to adopt him
and his adopted paper work
00:48:10.52\00:48:12.99
was finished
literally on December 3, 1997.
00:48:13.02\00:48:17.83
So that was the official
date that he became your son.
00:48:17.86\00:48:20.86
That he was our child.
00:48:20.90\00:48:22.23
And that was
three years to the date
00:48:22.26\00:48:23.90
that you had lost
your two children.
00:48:23.93\00:48:25.77
But God has a
sense of humor as well.
00:48:25.80\00:48:27.50
Okay.
00:48:27.54\00:48:28.87
December 2, my wife wasn't
feeling well and she went into
00:48:28.90\00:48:32.01
the bathroom and came out
with two lines on the dip stick.
00:48:32.04\00:48:35.58
Which means she was
pregnant. She was pregnant.
00:48:35.61\00:48:38.05
So three years to the day
holding Elijah in our hands
00:48:38.08\00:48:43.45
and Penny having
another one in her womb
00:48:43.49\00:48:46.72
God was saying its
okay to love again.
00:48:46.76\00:48:48.96
Amen. Amen.
00:48:48.99\00:48:50.33
And now you actually God
has added to that number--
00:48:50.36\00:48:53.36
Yeah, they keep coming, yeah.
00:48:53.40\00:48:55.96
So we now have four, so
we have Elijah and Hanna,
00:48:56.00\00:48:59.03
Noah and Hadasa.
00:48:59.07\00:49:00.60
How precious.
00:49:00.64\00:49:01.97
I just wanted to ask
if you would touch on--
00:49:02.00\00:49:04.91
this book is divided
into four primary areas.
00:49:04.94\00:49:11.51
First was the
devastation in the darkness,
00:49:11.55\00:49:13.72
the Dawn and the Destiny.
00:49:13.75\00:49:15.85
But when you talk
about the name of the book
00:49:15.88\00:49:18.12
again it's "Undeniable,
An Epic Journey Through Pain"
00:49:18.15\00:49:22.39
and this is as we
said at the beginning
00:49:22.42\00:49:26.09
as God comforted
you you're now sharing
00:49:26.13\00:49:30.47
that comfort with others.
00:49:30.50\00:49:32.23
But if you would in the section
on Dawn, talk about worship.
00:49:32.27\00:49:38.74
When God began to
breakthrough into our lives
00:49:38.77\00:49:43.04
He helped us to see
that its because of our pain,
00:49:43.08\00:49:45.85
its because of our brokenness
00:49:45.88\00:49:47.25
so we then see
others differently
00:49:47.28\00:49:49.95
but more than that
we see Him differently.
00:49:49.98\00:49:52.25
And I remember one time
sitting there my wife and I,
00:49:52.29\00:49:54.82
this is a number of months
probably almost two years after
00:49:54.86\00:49:57.36
the accident we are both
reading in different chairs
00:49:57.39\00:50:00.70
having worship together
and my wife picked her head up
00:50:00.73\00:50:08.50
and she kind of
spoke towards me.
00:50:08.54\00:50:09.94
I knew she is gonna say,
00:50:09.97\00:50:11.31
I could see on her
face something important.
00:50:11.34\00:50:12.67
She said, we really
should pray for Susan Smith
00:50:12.71\00:50:17.48
and my first
thought was, are you crazy.
00:50:17.51\00:50:19.88
Now Susan Smith people may
forget but she was the woman
00:50:19.91\00:50:22.48
years ago who strapped
her two children into the car,
00:50:22.52\00:50:26.22
pushed into a lake,
watched it go underwater,
00:50:26.25\00:50:29.19
called the car and-- you
know, so murdered her children.
00:50:29.22\00:50:32.96
And I'm thinking, you
want to pray for Susan Smith?
00:50:32.99\00:50:35.46
What you want to pray about
that she wroth somewhere or,
00:50:35.50\00:50:38.40
you know, that the
most unspeakable stuff
00:50:38.43\00:50:39.77
could happen to her
00:50:39.80\00:50:41.24
and I'm just-- I'm just
completely shocked by her
00:50:41.27\00:50:45.61
and my wife said this,
we need to pray for her
00:50:45.64\00:50:48.94
because she must
have really been hurting
00:50:48.98\00:50:52.68
to have ever imagined
that was the best thing
00:50:52.71\00:50:54.48
she could do for her kids.
00:50:54.52\00:50:57.05
And it just blew my mind to
realize that here is my wife
00:50:57.09\00:51:00.32
who has lost two children,
who because of what God
00:51:00.36\00:51:03.22
is doing in her life
actually has the heart of God
00:51:03.26\00:51:07.40
to see another mother who
did this unspeakable thing
00:51:07.43\00:51:11.80
and yet she can see
hope and love still.
00:51:11.83\00:51:16.17
And I just realize I was seeing
00:51:16.20\00:51:18.51
in many ways
like a burning bush.
00:51:18.54\00:51:20.11
I was seeing the very
character of God in my wife
00:51:20.14\00:51:25.08
who had lost babies
00:51:25.11\00:51:26.45
and yet was willing
to pray for someone else
00:51:26.48\00:51:28.82
who is hurting
to such an extent.
00:51:28.85\00:51:32.19
Our prayer in this book is
that it want to invite people
00:51:32.22\00:51:35.79
to experience God's healing
and empathy and to increase
00:51:35.82\00:51:40.70
their worship of who
He is in the whole process
00:51:40.73\00:51:43.30
and how He has turned.
00:51:43.33\00:51:45.67
Well, I think you
certainly paint beautiful
00:51:45.70\00:51:49.10
and true picture of
the character of God
00:51:49.14\00:51:51.84
and this "Undeniable, An
Epic Journey Through Pain"
00:51:51.87\00:51:56.48
is a book that can bring healing
00:51:56.51\00:51:59.35
and we just want to
encourage you to get this book.
00:51:59.38\00:52:03.32
We are going to
take a quick break.
00:52:03.35\00:52:05.22
We've got to go to a news break
00:52:05.25\00:52:07.16
but we are gonna come
back with a final thought
00:52:07.19\00:52:09.36
so please stay tuned.
00:52:09.39\00:52:10.73